#and like I get why they don't like it
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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fanfiction writers when a character is remotely non-human
#just came across this in the owl house fandom#i love u guys but why so much purring#like don't get me wrong. i have also written this#but why
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bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word
I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.
(I'm sorry)
#art#twisted wonderland#(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?)#(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay)#long post#tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then#anyway once again i'm sorry#i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone#i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks.#hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper#because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.
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HEARTSTOPPER S3 + TUMBLR REACTIONS
#heartstopper#heartstopperedit#cinemapix#dailyflicks#dailynetflix#dixonscarol#filmtvcentral#heartstopperdaily#televisiongifs#tuserlucie#tvedit#useraimz#userbarrow#userdiana#userelio#userrlaura#usersugar#*edits#long post#two day project that will get only 10 likes 🙃#that's why i don't gif much anymore 😭😂
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
#warm up#writeblr#this one has bothered me for a bit#any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime#hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying#as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing#like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts#why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge#''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it#ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace#if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible#ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing#the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....
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woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:
vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)
which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.
luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.
why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.
vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.
then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.
which then require months of further specialized treatment.
the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage
vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.
the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!
it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!
which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s
Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.
today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar
if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!
in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!
(src)
#Vanilla Extract#i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla#also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc#the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores#you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices#still expensive but like. 50% cheaper#or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life#did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW
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*I worship you Tumblr please don’t remove it
Kabru is a freak and Laios should suffer
Ship or not, it’s so hilarious that Kabru is no less crazy than Laios. His passion is digging down everyone’s darkest secrets and family drama, his relaxing activities are flirting and gossiping with every homosapien with eligible language.
The reason why Laios was chill around him is because they were never close enough! Kabru is charming and cool if you only meet him twice a week at a bar, but look at how cautious and unnerved his close friends get when he starts blasting information nonstop.
“Can you see how scandalous that sleeve is?” “I heard she granted her the first name base!” “Laios look at the embroidery on that shirt, his business is definitely running as smoothly as I predicted!”
I want to see this Kabru around Laios, I want to see him decipher so many tiny body languages and unspoken rules of humans so happily that Laios can’t decide if he wants to chop his ears off or smack Kabru with a brick, I want to see Laios being forced into balls after balls and feeling the urge to drown himself in a barrel of wine just to end the conversations.
“But Laios gets anxious around people.” So does Kabru with monsters!??
Kabru’s freakiness deserves to be recognized, too! Let him be the insufferable bastard he’s born to be! Let him and Laios traumatize each other!
#like I don't get why people keep making it as if Kabru is the NORMAL ONE#HES SO NOT#‘omg Kabru poor meow meow’ this dude drinks tears of lovers for breakfast he’s freaking UNHINGED#dungeon meshi#kabru of utaya#laios touden#labru#kinda#SquareCloud
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Someone's last crush didn't live up to the hype 😬
#yes fyodor literally called dazai by name a second ago what of it#WHY did he say it like that!! ''atsushi i'm going home to sleep come with me 😘'' WHAT#i don't even know if this should count as ship art it reads more like fyodor's obsession with dazai grasping at straws to bounce back#up next: fyodor's past flirting with natsume TRUST dazai was the also a bounceback bf#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd spoilers#bsd manga spoilers#bsd 119#bsd atsushi#bsd nakajima atsushi#bsd fyodor#bsd fyodor dostoyevsky#nawy's comics#i tried to get something out of this comic but i have so much trouble being funny these days i'm so dissatisfied with everything😔
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this isn't the first time @cerbykerby had an idea that i've impulsively drawn... rest of the comic under the cut!
#mdzs#i just Love the way social media kills the quality of comics#a comic from Me?#in the year of our lord 2024?#less likely than you think#my art#fanart#mo dao zu shi#wei wuxian#wei ying#lan wangji#lan zhan#jiang cheng#jiang wanyin#full disclosure ik lwj isn't dumb enough to call out wwx's name in a perilous situation that'd get him killed#again#but i just wanted to draw the sillies#don't ask me why i drew a cloth over wwx's bun#i had a whim & i went with it
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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y'know every time i feel guilty about bothering someone by singing along when i'm listening to music, i just remember that i have to tolerate my dirtbag brother screaming at his ps5 for hours every day so listening to muffled off-key fall out boy is probably preferable
#ramble#it's not loud btw it's just like. singing along in the car volume#not to get on my soapbox but there's a literal dent in his wall from his controller. and we're in the uk you CANNOT punch through walls#idk about anyone else but i've NEVER yelled at a video game?? like i'm absolute dogshit at 80% of them#and i've never had a PHYSICAL reaction beyond maybe 'ughh' then turning it off#if you're getting that angry maybe you just need to play different games because you're clearly not having fun#also added bonus that i didn't realise until adulthood. as a former daughter#cis son privileges are CRAZY#i don't even swear in front of my parents and my dude is just screaming actual slurs next door with NO consequences#like you wouldn't do that in public why is it ok to do it here#i think i've said fuck in front of my mum ONCE and i literally couldn't look at her the entire day#this is a box i am not ready to unpack yet akdhdh#is this just a my family thing or is this common
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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if a bingqiu hater puts the blame on any weirdness in their relationship solely on binghe you KNOW they can't read. this is a freak4freak relationship okay. sqq is the guy that got offended and sulky because binghe DIDN'T hen-peck him into cuddling. he openly admits to loving the tearful lamb act. he likes having a clingy needy girlfriend he has to reassure constantly. he got so horny watching his husband pour qi into his dead body that he woke up and immediately pounced on him and fucked him straight into a qi deviation. when he heard the rumor that binghe raped him his internal argument was that this could never happen because if binghe wanted to have sex with you, you would just let him, so it's not rape. he's literally insane. they're perfect for each other in the sense that they're both bugfuck crazy.
#t#svsss#if you can't handle the heat get out of the kitchen girl. why are you reading svsss if you don't like the main couple#every day i log on to tumblr dot com and go into the bingqiu tag knowing full well the illiteracy that awaits me . . .
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WAIT when did he get FANGS
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#brushie brushie#i thought i was imagining it but i have compared screenshots and it is true#they gave him a bunch of new animations and just decided to throw some fangs in there too!#unless this is an earlier thing i just missed because i don't pay attention (very possible)#anyway i decided to do one last ten-pull and THERE HE WAS#and his personal story is SO unexpectedly cute oh my gosh#at any given moment crewel is thinking about how much he misses his dog(s)#it is CANON#canon like the fangs (why) (i'm not complaining i just want to KNOW)#get you a fandom where they randomly and with no explanation give a character fangs I GUESS#anyway thank you sensei for validating the mountain of keys i threw into the void for you#i'd assumed he'd duo with grim so it is unfortunate that it turned out to be with a card i don't have and will probably never get 🙃#but it is VERY funny actually that he duos with crowley so i'll forgive him#the only funnier character would be jack#OR NO WAIT actually leona#'which character would be the funniest to --' the answer is always. ALWAYS. leona
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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I want to see characters being taken care of in an explicit and worshipful way. Home-cooked meals. Hair brushed and braided by gentle hands. Little gifts just because.
I want to read about characters who are not used to kindness being bombarded by acts of service. This trope works romantically and platonically. Give me found family and acts of service - all the ways a character is wrapped up in wordless, explicit care after years of cruelty and having no idea how to handle. I need it.
#fanfiction#this is the 'comfort' part of hurt/comfort#but i want to take it to the extreme honestly#not just comfort immediately after a traumatic event#but consonant daily comfort!#being taken care of because you are loved always and unconditionally#this is the real reason why i sometimes read sugar daddy AUs even though i don't like them#i want to read about characters being SPOILED#this is also why i love the mdzs love interests so much#luo binghe is the ultimate worshipful house husband and i love that#my posts#you can tell i'm irrationally tired when i start getting tear-eyed over someone being cooked a meal
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