#and let's not forget about the incoming drama~

[osamusriceballs]

The Accident Part VIII

Atsumu x fem reader

Warnings: None

Words: ~ 2k

About: You finally meet your good friend <3

Part I II -> Next part

"You know each other?!"

You stare at Atsumu with wide eyes, who just stares at the short blonde next to you and raises his eyebrows as if he just had an epiphany.

"Where have I—wait. Karasuno. Karasuno's manager! You're a friend of Shoyo-kun!" Atsumu's eyes shine when he talks about Karasuno, and you furrow your brows when you remember that it's the name of Yachi's old school. "Shoyo-kun? Like—Hinata Shoyo?" You ask, recalling a bright orange-haired man you've met a few times already when Yachi had invited you to drink with her and her friends. They had always been a lively bunch, definitely growing on you the more often you saw them.

"Hmm, we work together," Atsumu nods, and you blankly stare at him while you try to digest that piece of information. You know that Hinata is a professional volleyball player. Very professional. Olympics level professional. He offered you cards to his games quite a few times, and you had politely declined, not wanting to cause him trouble, but he had sent you tickets anyway for a game in a few weeks.

That probably means that Atsumu is a professional player too—or he might be some kind of manager, according to the vague statement that they are working together. His physique and his posture tell you that he potentially could be an athlete- you would believe that in a second.

"Working together like... playing volleyball too?" You ask for clarification, tilting your head curiously while you watch his reaction. His lips curl into a smug smile, and the confidence he's radiating now makes your legs turn into jelly.

"Yeah. I'm a professional, just like Shoyo-kun. He loves my sets, by the way. Always aces them with no problem."

His eyes capture yours and you hang on his every word, definitely surprised by the development. You're married to a probably very famous professional Olympia volleyball player. You're not even sure what to think about this; the new details just made the whole situation more absurd and unrealistic. The only good thing is that Yachi apparently knows him. You could maybe get more information out of Yachi about him later.

"I—wait. The marriage—you married ATSUMU MIYA?" Your attention shifts to Yachi, who turns almost worryingly red, and you quickly step closer to her and reach for her arm, trying to calm her down. "Yes, but it's okay. He's a good guy, okay?" You smile encouragingly, and Yachi takes a few hasty loud breaths before she nods.

Atsumu watches you both and awkwardly clears his throat, a faint blush covering his cheeks at your words, and rubs the back of his head. "I'll leave ya two alone then. I'll call ya, y/n."

The last thing you see is his smile before he turns around and walks away with his hands in his pockets now. His broad back is evident, especially when he's wearing the white dress shirt, and you can't help but admire the man for a second before Yachi enters your sight once again.

"Y/n! - what happened?!"

xxx

"I can't believe you're married to Atsumu Miya!" she exclaims, still sounding shocked as she repeats the same sentence for the third time after you managed to tell her the fully story during the car ride. Both of you sit on her comfortable plush couch, adorned with a few of her stylish designer blankets. You're glad to be in a familiar place finally, but you can't help but to think about Atsumu. Will he call or leave a message soon? You wouldn't mind him calling today already- just to make sure you have his number. Nothing else. Just to clear that whole marriage thing. And nothing else.

You nod with a mild smile an attempt to calm her slight panic. Atsumu has assured you that everything will be taken care of, and you find yourself actually trusting him. "It'll be okay. You mentioned he's a good guy, right? I mean, he's friends with Hinata."

Yachi deeply inhales and takes a sip of her tea and nods. "He's close to Hinata. They get along really well. But let me tell you, Atsumu Miya in high school is something else. His serves were powerful and terrifying- not as much as today, but still enough to keep us all on the edge. Even Nishinoya had a hard time receiving them. Atsumu-san and Osamu-san managed to copy Hinata's and Kageyama's special attack effortlessly. It was insane. Maybe we can find a recording of it."

She grabs the remote to turn on the TV, and you lean forward eagerly at the thought of seeing more of Atsumu. "I wonder what Atsumu looked like in high school," you muse, taking a sip of your tea, its slight bitterness complementing the rich flavor. "He basically still looks the same. His hair got a bit brighter, and I think he grew a bit. And gained mass," Yachi responds, finding what she's looking for with an excited squeal. "Here!"

You both watch how a much younger Atsumu raises his arm and much to your surprise the whole crowd falls silent. "What- that's not normal, is it?" You turn to Yachi who seems slightly pale, probably because she remembers the moment vividly. "That's normal for Atsumu Miya. He was so good and popular that he got that special treatment. It helps him to focus. Oh, and watch his steps! You can tell what kind of serve he's going to make by the number of his steps."

You diligently nod and watch him serve again, taking six steps this time. The camera angle is a tad bit closer this time, and you don't fail to see his yellow-ish hair that definitely looks different compared to his looks today. He was very fit, even back then, but he is definitely more buff today.

You watch some more of Atsumu's powerful serves, his form screaming utmost perfection, and memories of the very same strong, muscular arms wrapped around you make heat rush to your cheeks. Yachi continues to share insights about his playing style, and you quickly try to focus on her words.

"...their combined attacks are difficult to anticipate. But look at how Kei blocks it!" You nod enthusiastically while you observe Tsukishima's impressive block. The video then shifts to another game, showcasing Atsumu in a black uniform adorned with yellow claw prints on his sleeves.

"Oh, that's from the MSBY game! You should have seen him; there's this amazing set—" Yachi's words trail off as the camera cuts to an unusual angle, revealing Atsumu's impressive thighs in full glory as he sets the ball with a ridiculously seductive smile. Your jaw drops at the unexpected sight- you know for sure you would have fainted if you saw that scene in live. How dare he look so good while setting the ball?? "Look, Hinata easily managed to hit that! And there's Bokuto-san!" You recognize the orange-haired spiker, sharing a smile and high-five with Bokuto. "I can't believe that they all actually know each other."

"Yeah," Yachi smiles and nods. "Hinata always talks about Atsumu-san. And Bokuto-san is close with Osamu-san, I think. I've seen him post a few pictures with Akaashi-san at Onigiri-Miya."

"Is that the name of his restaurant? Atsumu said he would take me there someday." Yachi gives you a side-eye, and reaches for her phone. "You've gotten pretty close, haven't you? You seemed really flustered when-" You quickly interrupt her, "No! I—I don't even know him. I don't even have his number. He was just being nice, we're not really close."

Yachi nods with a small grin, and hands you her phone. "Here. That's his Instagram. He's also often at Onigiri Miya. It seems like he's very proud of his brother's success. I though you might want to have a look at his life."

"Thank you." Yachi is truly a great friend, and you feel once again fond of being close to her. As you scroll through Atsumu's Instagram, you find a mix of game snapshots, some pictures with Osamu, in which he always has a plate full of food in front of him, and you can't help but zoom into the plates, impressed by the neatly arranged dishes. As you keep on scrolling, you almost gasp loudly when you find a very surprising collaboration with Calvin Klein, featuring a shirtless Atsumu from a very close perspective. At first, you keep on scrolling, too flustered at the sudden revealing picture, but curiosity makes you go back after a few moments, and you look at the picture again.

He looks good. His muscles are well-defined and he grins seductively for the camera while he poses, clad in only a ripped pair of jeans. It's almost unfair how ridiculously attractive he looks, but you still think that he looks even better when he's just woken up, just like he did this morning. You exhale loudly and curiously click on the comments.

"I would pay real money to have him like this in my bed." "Christmas came early this year- and so did I." "Bless the Miya genes. I'd gladly help to spread them." "Thank you Calvin Klein. I'll make sure to get a pair of these pants." "*FAINTS* HE'S SO HOT, I CAN'T-"

You're startled when you notice how the comments get even more unhinged and shameless as you keep on scrolling. "He... has a lot of fans," you remark, scrolling back to the top and handing Yachi her phone back, to which she nods heavily. "He had his own fan club in high school, and ever since the Japanese team won the Olympics, the whole team has been very popular. Especially Atsumu-san and Sakusa-san."

You hesitate before asking the next question, uncertain of what the answer might bring. "Is there a reason why he's single? He seems like a decent guy, looks good, and he's probably rich. Isn't he the perfect catch?"

Yachi furrows her brows, thinking. "I don't know, actually. It's probably the same as with Hinata and Kageyama. They focus a lot on their careers; they simply don't have time for dating. I also found out that most volleyball boys can be a bit... intense. It's probably hard to find a partner that understands their passion. They prioritize training over anything else. I've never seen Hinata skip a day of training, no matter what happens. Their partners must accept that they put a lot of their energy and time into their jobs."

"Ah," you simply nod, slightly surprised by the revelation. You would have assumed that they have a very lively dating life, but it seems like they just live for work. Sounds a bit lonely.

"I also think that some fans are a bit obsessed with their private lives. There was an incident before with Atsumu-san and one of their fans- but things have calmed down lately, so you should be fine." Yachi reassures you, reaching for a cookie on the couch table.

"I think that—" she is interrupted by the sudden sound of a ringing phone, and both of you exchange confused glances before realizing it's your phone. Yachi's eyes light up, and she squeals, "Maybe it's him—I mean, I could have gotten his number through Hinata, but maybe he's got some news—"

You fumble with the phone, the unknown number undoubtedly belonging to Atsumu. Taking a deep breath, you nod at her and hold the phone to your ear, answering the call with a simple,

"Hello?"

[endthedream]

someday

pairings: teacher!jake x single mom!reader

summary: Being a single mom to a 6 year old daughter isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t help that her class teacher awakens feelings inside of you, you haven’t felt in a long time. Will the love between you blossom, or will your complicated life drive you apart?

words: 11.6k

story colour: green

warnings: one heavy (?) make out session and a lot of tension

masterlist of ‘enhypen as jobs’

Life can change.

From one second to another, everything can change. Everything you have once known to be normal, everything you were used to. It all can get ripped away from you in the matter of a few seconds.

From one second to another a seventeen-year-old girl finds out she got pregnant from a boy that wasn’t ready to commit to a life like that yet and parents that felt nothing but disappointment towards their teenage daughter.

From one second to another this girl had to move away, raise a child on her own and build a life save for them to live in. She had to find a job with a steady income, find people who could help her and put all her needs aside for the small bundle of life she brought into the world.

Not only did she have to change her life, but she also had to rebuild it. She had to create a new, healthier and secure one. Suddenly it wasn’t about what outfit to wear to school, how to sneak out to go to a party or new drama that happened at school. It was about changing diapers, sleepless nights caused by a toothing child and soothing countless emotional outbreaks. It was about raising her child, teaching kindness and blaming every bad thing on herself.

But at the end of the day, it was being grateful, loving the child unconditionally and not being able to imagine her life any different. It was feeling purpose, feeling needed and feeling loved. It was showing exactly that love to her child and never letting her forget that.

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

Listening to the waves crashing against the shore, you soak in the last moments of this morning, the soft rays of sun on your face, the slight breeze making your cheeks rosy and the faint sound of birds chirping somewhere close by. You soak in this moment, because moments like this are rare in the life you’re living, quiet and undisturbed, protected from all the daily stress and complications.

You breathe in the air one last time, before you see someone approaching you out of the corner of your eye.

“Look mommy, I found a pretty shell.”, your 6-year-old daughter Nuri says as she holds her hand out for you to see. You show her a bright smile, admiring the pretty shell in her hands. Your daughter has always been a collector, shells, flowers, rocks, even leaves, nothing is safe from her. And it’s something you love about her. How she sees the beauty in the small things, always so eager to show you the new things she discovered, with her big bright eyes.

“It’s so pretty, Nuri. How about you put it into your bag and later we will get the other shells you collected and make a pretty necklace out of them?” You watch as the little girl enthusiastically nods, putting the shell carefully into her bag, before sitting down beside you on the blanket you laid over the sand.

“Are you excited about starting school today?”, you ask your daughter, as you gently pull her onto your lap, stroking her hair with one of your hands. Whenever you look at her, you get stunned by how much you see your younger self in her. The more she grows, the more the resemblance grows. But you also realize how awfully fast time passes, and how much has changed since the day you held your little baby in your arms for the first time.

“I am.”, Nuri says, her big eyes almost disappearing as she grins widely at you, showing off her missing front tooth. “But I will also miss kindergarten a lot. And I will miss you too, mommy.”

In an instant, tears fill up your eyes and it takes you a moment to swallow them down, not wanting Nuri to see you like that. You could cry after you dropped her off at school, but for now, those tears will have to stay hidden. “I will miss you too, sweet girl. But it is just a few hours that we don’t see each other. Every day after school I will pick you up and we can do whatever we want to do, okay?”

Nuri nods her head again, before wrapping her arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. “Do you think I will make any friends?”

“Of course, you will.”, you tell her, truthfully. Your daughter, in contrary to you, never had problems talking to others. She is a social butterfly, making friends wherever she goes. You admire her for that, wanting to have the same trait. Because while she plays with all the kids in the playground, you can only watch the other mothers sit together, talking about everything and nothing. Part of you wants to just go up to them, ask them if you could join them, but the other part of you feels anxious, scared of getting judged, the way you always do. Being a mom so young has only brought you trouble, wherever you go. And while Nuri is the best thing that has happened to you, others seem to not support that opinion.

If you got a dollar for every time someone told you that you would destroy your kids future, or that you are way too young to have this kind of responsibility, you would be rich by now. Everywhere you go, if it’s grocery shopping, getting gas, at restaurants, people try to give you advice or comment on the things that apparently went wrong with your life, without even knowing you or your story. You heard everything, from your parents not raising you right or having daddy issues because your dad left you when you were young, to being whore that slept around until she eventually got pregnant.

But they don’t know that it was just a simple accident. That it was two teenagers having their first times together, being nervous and not really knowing what to do. It was two teenagers who didn’t think and had to deal with the consequences of their moment together. Well, at least one did. It wasn’t your parents’ fault; it wasn’t you sleeping around. It was just something that happened, unplanned but not unwanted.

And they don’t know that ever since Nuri came into your life, everything felt like it had a purpose. You felt like you had a purpose. Being a mother has made you find out who you truly are, and what you truly want. It made you more aware of the process of growing up, and made you realize all the stupid things you did as a teenager. It helped you through the hardest times and gave you something to hold on to, a reason to fight. Nuri is the reason you wake up every day, the reason you can get out of bed and the reason you finally have a routine in your life.

And you truly believe that it was meant to happen. You were meant to get pregnant with her and build up a life for the both of you.

“If someone will make a lot of friends, it’s you. I just know that everyone will love you, just how I know that I love you, so so much.”

-

It’s a weird feeling, picking your daughter up from her first day of school. You watch all the kids run up to their parents, excited little faces, already going on and on about everything that happened while they spend a few hours apart.

And while you’re waiting for your daughter to exit the school, you realize you can’t wait to be with her again, to hear her tell all the stories about her experiences on her first day, to get ice cream with her and make necklaces and bracelets. You realize that this must be harder for you than for her. She doesn’t realize the quickness in which she grows up, but you do.

It feels like yesterday when she was still in your belly. It feels like yesterday when she took her first steps, falling face first to the ground. It feels like yesterday when she said her first words, going up to every stranger in the grocery store and proudly repeating that word to them. It feels like yesterday when she lost her favorite toy and cried for two days straight. When you threw a little goodbye party for that toy with her and explained to her that maybe another child found her toy and gave it a new home, only to find the toy four days later under your bed. And it feels like yesterday when she came into your room, telling you she had a nightmare. She crawled into your bed and shortly before sleep took over, she whispered that you are the best mommy in the whole world.

All these memories start crashing over you, one by one. Tears fill your eyes yet again, and it takes everything in you to blink them away, not wanting to break down in front of all these strangers.

“Mommy.”, you hear her voice before you see her. Turning in the direction of the voice, you see your daughter running up to you, her arms wide open. You kneel down, opening your arms yourself and a bright smile lighting up all your features.

“Hey, my sweet girl.”, you say as you wrap her tightly into your arms. All the sadness you felt a moment ago washes away the moment you relish in the feeling of having the most important person in your life in your arms. “How was your first day?”

“It was so amazing, mommy. We learned a new song and ate a lot of fruits together. I made a lot of friends, and all my teachers are so nice.” You can’t help but smile brightly at the excitement of your daughter. “Do we have some time before we go home? I want you to meet my teacher. He is still in the classroom, so we have to hurry.”

Before you can answer, Nuri already takes off with your hand in hers, leading you inside the school and to her classroom. You marvel at all the colorful decoration, the helpful quotes and the artistic pictures. “Hello, Mr. Sim.”, your daughter says, excitedly waving at her teacher.

You take another step into the classroom, looking for the man that is busy packing his bag. But when he turns around and shows your daughter a bright smile, it almost takes your breath away. You never expected a teacher to look this… gorgeous. Mr. Sim looks young, your age probably, his skin is soft and glowing, his eyes a deep shade of brown and his black hair framing his perfect face. He has full, pink lips and a smile so bright, it resembles a puppy.

“Hey, Nuri. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on your way home?” Even his voice sounds like it was dipped into honey and laced with cream and sprinkles. It does something to you, you haven’t felt in a really long time.

“I wanted you to meet my mommy.”, she says, pointing over at you. And the moment Mr. Sim’s eyes meet you, you can feel something in the air change. A uncuttable tension fills the room, and you can’t stop staring at him. You can’t stop looking at his perfect face and his perfect eyes and his perfect lips. You feel ashamed for feeling this way, for thinking about your daughter’s teacher that way, but you can’t help yourself. “Mr. Sim this is my mommy.”

“Hi.”, he says, his voice breaking with this simple word. “I’m Mr. Sim, but you can call me Jake.” Jake wipes his hand on his pants before reaching it out for you to take, which you do. Gently you place your hand in his, giving it a soft shake, almost sighing at the feeling of this small contact. Jake has big hands, long fingers and veins traveling up his arms, but his skin is so soft and smooth it almost doesn’t seem fair.

“I’m Y/N, Nuri’s mom.” You almost punch yourself for sounding so weak and pathetic. The last thing you want is for Nuri’s teacher to know what an effect his mere presence has on you. “Are you Nuri’s class teacher?”

“For now, yeah. I’m a substitute teacher since their actual teacher got into an accident and has to rest for probably a few months. I was meant to start at another school but got transferred here last minute.” You could listen to him speak for hours. “But you probably don’t care about that.” He chuckles softly, letting a hand nervously glide through his silky hair. “What you probably do care about is that we have a parents’ conference next week. I wanted to send an e-mail to every parent, but you know, seeing as you are here, I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”

You nod at him, showing him a small appreciative smile. “Thank you, Jake. I will see what I can do to come. Maybe someone will have the time to look after Nuri for a few hours.”

Jake nods one time, then another, before letting his hand fall to his side. “It’s a pretty important conference, seeing that this has a lot of information about the first school year. Maybe her father can look after her, so you can come.” You can hear the lingering note in his sentence, subconsciously knowing that he’s testing the waters.

“Nuri’s father is not in her life.”, you say, looking down at your daughter who only smiles up at you. “It’s just us, right, sweet pee?”

“Yep.”, she says, nodding her head a few times. “Our house is a girls’ only zone.” Jake chuckles at the words of the little girl in front of him. He reaches into the pocket of his jeans and takes out his phone to hand it to you.

“You can see if you find someone to look after her for a few hours and if not, you can just text me and we will find a solution. Is that okay with you?” Stunned, you take his phone, seeing his contact list already open.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Thank you so much, Mr. Sim.”

“Jake.”, he tells you again, a gentle smile resting on his lips. “You can just call me Jake, okay?”

-

“God, it was so embarrassing.”, Jake says as he drinks a sip from his coke. “I kept on rambling and stuttering. Like my hands got all sweaty and I couldn’t even really look her in the eyes.”

He hears his friends laughing at him to which he just frowns. Jake knows the way he acted around you, his student’s mom, wasn’t appropriate, but it was like the moment he saw you his brain stopped working. All the blood rushed out of it, leaving him stupid and unable to form thought through sentences. It was like he was sixteen all over again. A teenager nervous around pretty girls, unable to talk to them without making a foul out of himself.

“Dude, you seem down bad for her.”, Jay, his friend, says, not being able to hide the amusement in his voice. It’s been a while since the boys heard any stories about women in Jake’s life. Jake always tried to keep in love life as clear as possible, only looking for something serious and whenever he noticed the other person wasn’t reciprocating the same feeling, he ended whatever it was between him and the other person. Ever since Jake was young, he had one wish and that was to be in love. To love unconditionally, find someone who feels the same way and spend the rest of his life with them. To marry, have kids and grow old together. That’s what Jake always wanted, and still does to this day. But finding someone with the same wish turned out to be harder than he thought it would.

“But doesn’t she have a kid? Doesn’t that mean she has a husband, or boyfriend?”, Sunghoon asks, joining in on the conversation.

Jake just shakes his head, sighing as he lets his free hand nervously glide through his hair. “No, I already asked her. It’s apparently just her and her daughter. But I don’t know where the father is, didn’t think it would be appropriate to ask her that.”

“Wait. You asked her about a man in her life?”, Heesungs’ eyes are wide, and he has to swallow the laugh that threatens to leave his lips. “Bro, there is no way, you had the balls to do that. She definitely knows that you are interested in her.”

“What?”, Jake exclaims, bewilderedly looking at his friends. “What do you mean she knows I am interested in her?”

“Bro, you asked if she has a boyfriend or not, that’s the first sign of testing the waters, checking if she’s single. Everyone knows that and I bet she does too.”

Jake lets his head fall into his hands, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips. “She probably thinks I am a weirdo. God, what if she doesn’t want her child to be in a class with a teacher that was shamelessly hitting on her? What if she tells the other parents and I’m going to get kicked out of that school?”

“Jake.”, Sunghoon puts a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I doubt she would do that. And come on, maybe she is interested in you as well. Look at you, you are an attractive man. Don’t overthink this whole thing, okay?”

-

“And they lived happier ever after. The end.”, you finish reading the bedtime story for Nuri, closing the book and putting it on her nightstand.

“Mommy?”, you hear her quiet voice asking for you. Immediately, you take her hand, showing her a soft smile. She looks so small with her eyes just half open, tiredness written all over her face.

“Yes, sweety?”

“Do you like Mr. Sim?” The question surprises you, makes you take a few deep breaths before feeling ready to answer.

“I think he is a lovely person. He seems very sweet to you. Why do you ask that?”

Nuri adjusts her position, trying to open her eyes more to look at you clearly. “I think you are in love with him. Mrs. Kim said that when someone is in love with another person, they get very nervous and start stuttering in their sentences. She told me that you can’t stop looking at the person and that you seem kind of starstruck. Just like the way I look at ice cream.” She hugs her little teddy bear closer to her chest before continuing. “That’s how you looked today when you looked at Mr. Sim.”

You can’t help but shake your head as you hear the words your elderly neighbor has told your daughter. But it shouldn’t surprise you. Mrs. Kim has always been a hopeless romantic, going on and on about how you will find the right guy for you, that you just have to be patient. She has been watching over Nuri ever since she was a little baby, and it was bound to happen that at some point she would fill your daughter’s head with this nonsense.

“I am not in love with Mr. Sim, baby. I don’t even know him.”

“But you could get to know him. And then you will fall in love with him and live happily ever after with him, just like in the stories you read me every night.” You can hear something underlying in your daughter’s voice. Something she hides as she speaks those words.

“Nuri, why do you want me to fall in love with Mr. Sim?”, you ask her, squeezing her hand softly. You can see the sadness forming on her little face and it breaks your heart seeing her like this. Whatever it is that she was thinking at that moment, must have been on her mind for a long time.

“Ever since last year the kids in kindergarten asked me why I don’t have a dad. Every kid there has a dad, just not me. I want to have a dad, too, just like all the other children do.” Small tears start dripping down her cheeks, and you can’t hide the ones threatening to leave your eyes too.

“Oh, my sweet girl. Come here.” You gently pull her into a hug, cradling her head in your hands. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“I didn’t want to make you sad. I know that talking about my dad makes you very sad, and I don’t want you to be sad, mommy.” Twice, you felt your heart break within a few minutes. You hadn’t realized the effect this theme has on you, the sadness that still lingers whenever you think about her father. You hadn’t realized that your daughter noticed that. Your empathetic six-year-old daughter. A part of you feels proud of her for being such a sweet considerate little girl, but the other part is scared of how much other stuff she has noticed.

“Nuri, I am so sorry for not talking a lot about your father with you. I promise I will answer you every question about him in the future. And I am not sad when you mention him, okay? It is so important for you to communicate your feelings with me. When something worries you, you can always come to me and tell me about it, no matter what, okay?” You can feel her nod against your chest, her little hands wiping away the tears on her face. “Good. Now try to sleep, sweety. You need to have a lot of energy for school tomorrow. I love you, Nuri.”

“I love you too, mommy.”

-

You feel nervous as you park at the school building. There are several cars there already, all parents who will also be at the conference. Anxiety builds up in your belly, the fears of judgement towards you rising inside of you. This happened a lot at parent conferences when Nuri was still in kindergarten. The parents would be delighted to see you at first, asking if you are her sister but when they find out you are her mom, all you got was weird looks and whispers from other parents. It made you almost skip every conference after that, but you had to go, for Nuri’s sake. So, it’s understandable why your hands are shaking as you enter the school.

You dropped Nuri off at Mrs. Kim’s appartement, not before telling her to stop bringing Nuri’s hope of you getting a boyfriend up. A part of you knows that Mrs. Kim didn’t mean it with any bad intention, but you still don’t want Nuri to think that she will get a dad. Her real father is still uninterested to be in her life, and you don’t think that will change any time soon, and bringing a new father figure into her life is something you are still afraid of. People these days are not looking for serious commitment, they get scared when they hear about the child in your life, and they leave before anything serious can even start to develop. And the last thing you want is to introduce someone to Nuri’s life, just to have them leave a few weeks later. You don’t want to do that to her.

“Y/N.”, you hear someone call out for you and when you turn around you are greeted with the bright smile of no other than Sim Jake. “You made it. I am so happy to see you.”

“Yeah, sorry for not texting you. I kind of forgot about it with the whole stress I was having the best few days.” Jake seems to only smile brighter at your words, one of his hands nervously scratching the back of his neck. It gives you a moment to take him in. He is wearing a baggy pair of blue jeans with a black button up shirt, the arms of his shirt rolled up, exposing his arms. You can’t help but to let your eyes trail to his hands, his beautiful hands, but before you let yourself trail off too long, you let your eyes wander back to his, only to be met by a smirking Jake. Jake noticed your wandering gaze, the way your eyes shamelessly roamed his body. And he can’t say he isn’t flattered.

“Don’t worry, Y/n. I’m just glad to see you again. I hope you are, too.” You can hear the shift in his voice, the confidence and pride in it. And it makes a shiver run down your spine. “But we should go inside the classroom, before the parents get worried where I am.”

For the whole conference, you try to stay focused, to take notes and remember everything Jake was telling the parents, but your mind always drifted off. You got lost staring at the way he was talking so animatedly with his hands, biting his lip, and licking it with his tongue after every sentence, and how he brushes his hair out of his eyes every few seconds. And looking around, you notice that you don’t seem to be the only one staring at Jake. Some other mothers in the room developed a certain fascination with the young teacher, tugging their hair behind their ears and looking at him with a starstruck gaze. Watching them, you notice that you must look the same way when you look at Jake, just how Nuri told you. And it makes an embarrassed flush appear on your cheeks. You should really get yourself together. This is the teacher of your daughter, you shouldn’t be thinking about him in that way, shouldn’t be staring at him with such hungry eyes.

So, when you Jake announces the end of the conference, you can’t help but to hastily back your things into your back and make your way to head out of the classroom. “Y/N.” But Jake’s voice stops you from that. “Can you stay back a bit? I want to talk to you.” You turn around and give him a quick and shy nod, before sitting down on one of the chairs again and waiting for all the other parents to leave. Which turns out to take longer than you thought it would, almost all of the moms line up in front of him, asking him questions and wanting his attention.

Every now and then you see the look on Jake’s face, the tight-lipped smile and the alarming eyes, seeming almost uncomfortable. But you could be wrong about that impression.

Finally, the last one left, leaving only you and Jake in the classroom. He turns to you, a soft and honest looking smile on his lips. “Thank you for waiting, Y/N. I really appreciate that.” You smile back at him, standing up so you can walk over to him.

“Why did you want me to stay back?”, you ask him as you stop in front of him, looking up at him with your wide eyes. Jake seems to be losing the ability to talk again, your eyes driving him crazy. You give him the type of look that makes him want to press you against the next wall and kiss you until your lungs give out.

“I wanted to ask you how you liked the conference.” His voice is low and coarse, and he has to clear his throat a few times to get rid of the lump in it.

“You wanted me to stay back just so you could ask me how I liked the parents conference?”, you ask him, eyebrows raised in a question.

“Yes?”, he answers, his yes almost sounding like a question itself. He scratches the back of his neck again, feeling suddenly so self-conscious. “I mean it was my first time doing something like this and I guess I just wanted to know how I was. You know, if I came across as nervous or insecure.”

You shake your head at him, a constant smile on your lips. “Jake, you did so well. Everyone in this room liked you, and you seemed so confident when you talked about everything. Believe me, no one could have done it better than you.”

Jake feels his heart swell at your words, not having thought you would say something like that to him. It has been a long time since Jake has gotten praised in such a way, and it does something to him, something he can’t admit to himself.

“Thank you.”, he mumbles, a faint bit of blush on his cheeks. “Hearing that means a lot to me.”

You gently squeeze his arm, showing him another bright smile. “No need to thank me. I am just telling you the truth.” You take a step back again, hand sinking back to your side. “But I sadly have to go now. I have to pick up Nari since it’s a school night and I don’t want her to stay awake for too long.”

“Yeah, sure, of course.”, Jake quickly says, walking to his bag and starting to pack in his things. “Give me a second, I will walk you to your car.”

-

This has been the third time in four months that you were too late to pick up Nuri from school. With the newfound time, your boss thought it was a good idea to give you more work, and normally you would decline this amount of work, since it gives you less time that you can spend with Nuri. But more work also means more money, and you need it more desperately than ever lately. The rent in your apartment got raised, fuel got more expensive and all the school stuff that you had to buy also didn’t make your bank account look good.

With your head lowered and guilt tripping down every part of your body, you walk into Nuri’s school. As you step into her classroom, your eyes widen. Jake is sitting beside Nuri on a desk, drawing inside a book with her, while talking to her with a soft smile on his face.

“There you are Ms. Park.”, you can hear the voice of Nuri’s other teacher Mrs. Song.  “We waited for you for 30 minutes now. This is the third time this has happened, and I cannot tell you how disappointed I am with your punctuality. I get that you are young, but that doesn’t give you the right to abandon your own child for whatever party activity you have to do.”

Almost immediately you feel the guilt replace itself with anger. You know that picking up your child too late is irresponsible, but claiming you abandon your child and go partying is reaching too high. You feel like you’re seventeen-year-old you all over again, when everyone told you that you won’t be able to raise a child, that your child will grow up traumatized, wishing they had all the things other kids her age have. They told you to give Nuri up for adoption, that it would be the best possibility at your age.

“I am so sorry I was late picking up Nuri, again. But your accusations are what are disappointing here. As a teacher you shouldn’t have such prejudices against parents. Yes, I am young, but that doesn’t mean I am not able to love and provide for my daughter. Live on day in my shoes and see how well you can manage it.”

A short beat of silence fills the room, and before Mrs. Song can open her mouth to say another word, Jake speaks up first. “Mrs. Song, how about you take Nuri to one of the vending machines and get her a snack, while I talk to Ms. Park.”

With a heavy sigh, Mrs. Song nods, taking Nuri’s hand and walking out of the room with her, leaving you and Jake alone. “Y/n.” He gently says as he walks over to you. And there is something about his voice, so gentle and caring and something about his presence so comfortable and safe, that makes the tears in your eyes break their way free to roll over your cheeks. “Oh, come here.”

Jake gently pulls you into his arms, one hand on your back, comfortingly stroking it, and the other on your head. You wrap your own arms tightly around him and allow yourself for the first time in months to let it all out, the stress, the hurt, the pain, the longing, everything. A sob wracks through your whole body, and it breaks Jake’s heart. He doesn’t know how to help you, what to do to take all this pain away from you. So, all he does is pull you closer – if that’s even possible – and whisper encouraging words into your ear.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Jake gently asks as he pulls away from the hug, taking your face in his hands and wiping the tears on your face away with his thumbs.

You close your eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm down from your little breakdown, before starting to talk to him. “Everything has just been so hard lately. I can barely pay rent, I have to work longer and harder to earn all the money I need, and Nuri hasn’t stopped talking and asking questions about her dad. I try to act unbothered by it, but if your daughter talks about the boy that has not only broken your heart but left you alone when you most needed him, it makes you relive it all over again. And I just feel like the worst mom on earth for not being able to give Nuri the live she deserves. Everyone is telling me that over and over again, what if they are right?”

“No.”, Jake says shaking his head. He cups your cheek with one hand, the other one taking its place on your waist. “Listen to me. You are an amazing mom, Y/n. God, half of the people that say those mean things want to be just like you. You sacrificed so much to provide for your daughter and that is more than just admirable. You should be proud of yourself, not doubt yourself. Nuri loves you. In fact, you are all she ever talks about. She admires you so much, Y/n, and she loves you with all her heart. That’s what matters the most.”

More tears start to stream down your cheeks, and you whisper a quiet ‘thank you’ to Jake, before pulling him back into your arms. He holds you close, leaving a gentle kiss at your temple every now and then. “How about we get Nuri and then we go out for ice cream? I don’t want to leave you alone right now.”

You nod against his chest, not ready to let go of him yet. “Thank you, Jake. For everything.”

-

Something changed between you and Jake after that day. It started with texts, him checking up on you every now and then, seeing if you need help. Then it developed to calls, once a week, talking about your feelings and worries, but those calls quickly got more frequent and happened every night after you put Nuri down to sleep. And you don’t know how it happened or when it happened, but now you find yourself getting ready to meet him for the first time in another place other than Nuri’s school.

“I think the purple top looks prettier on you, mommy.” Nuri says from where she sits on your bed. You have been changing outfits for an hour now, never finding the right thing to wear.

“You think so?”, you ask as you put it over put it on yet again. “I think you are right. This should be good enough.” You turn around to face Nuri, just to see her snuggled up with her teddy bear, big eyes watching you attentively. “You ready to spend some time with Mrs. Kim, sweety?”

You are answered with a wild nod and a bright smile. You know you could just take her with you, Jake wouldn’t mind that at all, but there is a part of you that really wants to spend some time with him alone. Just you and him.

You shouldn’t feel selfish about it, but you do. You feel like you put your own needs before your daughters’ ones. You know it’s far reached since this is the first time in a while that Mrs. Kim has to look after Nuri, but you hate depending on people. You hate having to drop Nuri off somewhere when you have plans. You hate that you can’t do this alone.

“Hey, pretty girl.”, Jake says as he sits down beside you on the picknick blanket you pulled out for the two of you, a bright smile is on his beautiful lips. “Can I ask you why exactly you wanted to meet here?”

You look at the ocean in front of you, at the soft waves crashing against the shore, glowing under the soft light of the sun peeking through the clouds. There is something magical about this place, something you can’t describe in words.

“I used to come here all the time when I was pregnant with Nuri. It was the only place that seemed to calm me down. I guess I just wanted to share that with you. You have become a very comforting part of my life, and I just thought you would like this place as much as I do.”

There is something in Jake eyes that changes the moment you speak those words. They seem to go lighter, wider, like a little puppy. It makes all the blood in your body rush right up in your cheeks and lets goosebumps rise over your skin. It makes you think about things you aren’t supposed to think, feel things that definitely aren’t appropriate to be thought in public.

Jake takes one of your hands, giving it a tight squeeze before sighing gently and looking out into the sea. You follow his gaze, admiring the sand glittering in the sunlight and listening to the sounds of the seals far off on the water. Both of you relish in the tranquility of the moment, no words needed.

“It’s my birthday next week,” Jake says after a few minutes. “I am throwing a small party. Just me and my three friends and I wanted to know if you want to come as well.”

You look at him only to be met with his hopeful, big eyes. He shows you an encouraging smile, and for a moment you unlearn the ability to speak. “Uhm, yeah, sure. Is it okay if I bring Nuri with me? I hate having to leave her at Mrs. Kims place all the time.”

“Of course, I was assuming she was going to come as well.” Your heart swells at his words, appreciating his attentive soul. You know how much Jake grew fond of Nuri. He talks about her approvements in school all the time, telling you about funny jokes she makes or impressive questions she asks. Jake tells you how smart and polite she is, and how she always tries to include everyone into the little friend group she built. He also tells you how well you raised her, and how proud he is of you for that, but that’s not something you want to focus on, because it makes you think about inappropriate things.

“Then we will definitely be there.” Jake shows you another one of his bright smiles, white teeth on his display. Sometimes when you look at him, through the phone or in real life, you wonder what it is the two of you have. You wonder if it is just a friendship the two of you are building up, or if it is more than that. There are moments- you don’t know if you are imagining them or if they are real- where the tension between you heightens, so much it could be cut with a knife. There are moments in which it feels like if one of you makes a move something is going to happen, something big and heavy. There are moments in which you think that this could be it. This could be yours forever. It sounds crazy, farfetched, but Jake is the type of person you always wanted to spend the rest of your life with. He is the kind of person, you know would treat you right, the kind of person that would have a good influence on Nuri. You know you two haven’t fully gotten to know each other. Jake may be in a completely different chapter of his life. He may not want to commit to something so serious, especially since he is only at the start of his teaching job, or because he is too young to think about having a family. You don’t know what this is between you guys and while you desperately want an answer to that question, you don’t want to risk losing whatever it is the two of your built up in the past weeks.

But when you look at Jake again you can feel the same tension, heavy and thick. You notice his eyes darkening, the way he licks his lips more often and glances down at your own every few seconds. One move, it will just take one move, and one of you is going to break the distance between the two of you.

Jake gently places one hand on your thigh, and you can feel his warmth burning through the material of your jeans and right onto your skin. You have to swallow the gasp that threatens to leave your lips, shocked at what such a little touch from him does to you. His hand travels further up and it almost feels impossible for you to think clearly. Every last piece of sanity left your body the moment Jake touched you and all you can focus on is him. Him and his plump lips, him and his big hands that are touching you in the most alluring way. And him and his big brown eyes, pulling you in and hypnotizing you.

“Y/n.”, he whispers, voice hoarse and rough. Suddenly, his face is closer, lips almost touching yours. You just have to lean forward a little more, but you are frozen, lost in his scent. You want him, you need him. Everything inside of you screams for him, in a way you have never experienced. Your body is pulled towards him like a magnet, and you need him to take you home to him right now. 

But before any of you can suggest that a voice calls out for Jake in the background. Almost immediately the two of you pull away from each other, awkwardly looking around. “Hey Jake. I knew that was your big head.” A man, around your age, approaches the two of you. He is tall, with black hair and a few prominent moles on his face. His smile reveals two little fangs which you find quite adorable.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you have any company.” The man awkwardly glances at the two of you, noticing that he just interrupted something between the two of you.

“All good, bro.”, Jake says, not being able to hide the disappointment in his voice. “Y/n, this is Sunghoon. One of my friends I told you about.” You show Sunghoon a polite smile, reaching one hand out to for him to take.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sunghoon.” Sunghoon can’t hide the surprised look on his face as he takes your hand and gives it a quick shake.

“Hold on, you are Y/n?” You nod your head at him, confused as to why he was reacting like that towards you. “Wow, I heard a lot about you.” From the corner of your eyes, you can see Jakes head falling into his hands, as he lets out a frustrated grunt. A smug grin appears on your lips as you cock your head at the boy in front of you.

“I hope you only heard good stuff.”

“You best believe it was only good stuff. Jake won’t stop talking about you. All day long he goes on about ‘Y/n is so-“ But before he can continue his sentence, Jake slaps one of his hands on the mouth of his friend, shutting him up indefinitely.

“That’s enough from you, Sunghoon. Man, you never know when to shut up.” Jake mumbles that last part, but you hear it anyway. All the doubt you had in your mind earlier leaves your head. Maybe Jake does want you the way you want him. Maybe he really is different than all the other man you met.

“Well as much as I wanted to hear whatever your friend had to say, I have to go now. It was nice meeting you, Sunghoon. And we will call later, right?” As you ask the last question, you look at Jake, eyebrows raised, waiting for his answer.

“Yes, of course. I will call you.”

“Okay, then see you later.” You give Jake a quick kiss on the cheek and show Sunghoon a last goodbye smile, before grabbing your things and walking to your car, leaving an embarrassed Jake and a widely grinning Sunghoon behind.

“So, this is Y/n, huh? Man, now I get why you won’t stop talking about her. She is hot.”

“Hey, come on. Don’t talk about her like that.” Jake shakes his head, blowing out some air from his lungs and closing his eyes for a moment to clear his still foggy mind. He still hasn’t recovered from the moment you two had just a few minutes ago. Jake was so close to kissing you, so close to asking you to go somewhere private, because he knows you felt it too. He knows you could feel the tension in the air, the arousal dripping from your body. He knows it, and he could feel it by the way your body was reacting to him. “She is so much more than just hot.”

“I’m just saying.” Sunghoon shrugs his shoulders, reaching one hand out to help Jake stand back up. “I’m glad you finally found someone, Jake. Happiness looks good on you.”

-

Nuri and you spent three hours baking and decorating the cupcakes for Jakes’ birthday party, and judging by the way Jakes friends stuff them into their mouths, it was worth the effort.

At first you were worries bringing Nuri to a birthday party with three strange men she doesn’t know but watching her giggle at the cream smeared faces of Jakes’ friends, all the worry flew right of the window. From the moment you entered the apartment the boys made it their life mission to entertain Nuri. They went from playing tea party, to performing dance routines, to laying on the ground and acting like they are mermaids. There was not one single wish Nuri expressed, that they didn’t grant in a heartbeat. She wants them to put on lipstick and towels as dresses to make a fashion show. Done. She wants them to act like knights and protect the princess- her- from a dangerous attack. Done. She wants them to carry her around, spin her in circles and throw her high up in the air every five minutes. Done.

And you can see that Nuri enjoys all the attention she is getting. She thrives in it, and it gives you a sense of relief.

“They are so good with children.”, you tell Jake who is sitting beside you, watching as Nuri counts down from ten to search for Sunghoon, Jay and Heeseung in a game of hide and seek.

“They are.”, Jake says, resting his head on your shoulder. “They all want children someday. We had that conversation before, so I knew that they would also love it when Nuri comes over.”

“And you?”, you ask Jake, looking down at him. “Do you want children?”

You can feel him smile from where he has his face buried in your neck. He leaves a gentle kiss at the space between your shoulder and your neck, before lifting his head to look into your eyes. “Yes.” There is no sign of hesitation in his voice, his eyes reflecting his sincerity. “Yes, I really want kids.”

“Now, or in a few years?”

“I don’t care.”, he says, grabbing one of your hands, and playing with your fingers just for a few seconds, before intertwining your fingers. “If now or in five years, I’m ready to have kids. I’ve always wanted them. Why would you think I work at an elementary school?” You can feel the weight lifting from your shoulders. This question has been bothering you for some time now, and now that it’s finally out and is answer is so fitting, you can’t fight the smile lighting up your face.

“Hey, you two love birds. I hate to interrupt your little moment, but I just wanted to ask you if it’s okay that we take Nuri to the playground a street down from here?”, Heeseung asks, looking straight at you. “Ever since we told her about the playground, she has been begging us to take her there. I swear we won’t be long, and we will take good care of her. I swear, I will never leave her out of my sight and stay by her side the whole time.”

This isn’t something you would normally do. You wouldn’t trust someone you barely know to take your child somewhere, but it’s something about the way they took care of her today that makes you trust them. And you trust Jake. You trust him to know what kind of people to introduce to your daughter. “Of course, yes.”, you tell Heseeung, smiling as you see the excitement on his face. “Just make sure to be back by dinner and to not let her on the swing for too long. She always gets sick when she’s on it for a longer time.” With one last nod and a ‘We promise to take the best care in the world about her’, they are out of the door.

It takes a few seconds for you to realize that you and Jake are alone. And it takes another few seconds for you to face the man sitting beside you. There it again, the look in his eyes, making you weak in his knees.

1, 2, 3 seconds pass and Jake can’t handle this silence anymore. He can’t handle the way you look at him and what it does to him. With one tug, Jake pulls you closer and it doesn’t take him long before he presses his lips against yours.

This is different than any kiss you have ever experienced. Jake kisses with a passion, with a longing, you have never felt before. His hands are on your body, in your hair, holding your cheeks. He pulls you onto his lap, never once stopping the heated kiss. You have your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, needing to feel him everywhere.

There is an urgency in the kiss, a need to big it’s going to explode. Every pent of thought or longing the both of you have kept to yourself over the past week flows right into the kiss. It’s wild, passionate and so indescribable good. You can feel it tingling all over your body, waking up needs you didn’t know you have, thoughts you always tried to repress. Jakes hands wander over your body again, your thighs, your hips, your waist, your back. And it makes you moan softly into the kiss, breaking free just to take a deep breath which gives Jake enough time to explore the soft skin of your neck. He trails down kisses, stopping at the point where he feels your pulse and licking the sensitive skin.

Another soft moan slips out of your lips, and it drives Jake crazy. It makes his head spin and takes his breath away. There is no clear thought in his head anymore, everything is clouded by the pleasure of this moment. His hands pull you closer to him, eyes closing at the feeling of you, and you have to take another deep breath before whispering your next words.

“Take me to your room, Sim Jake.”

-

“You’re so beautiful.”, Jake whispers as he raises his hand to softly stroke your hair out of your face.

“Good morning to you too.” You have been waking up to the sight of Jake for the past few months now, and no matter how many times you see him like this, you never get used to the sight. His hair messy from the night’s sleep, his naked chest shining in the morning sun and his puffy pink lips puffy from the night before. He is gorgeous, ethereal even. No word describes the beauty he is carrying.

Jake pulls you into his arms so that your head lays on his chest and his arms are tightly around you. “I will never get used to this.”, he whispers. “This is a dream come true.”

“What is a dream come true?”

“You. This. Waking up next to you, getting to spend every day with you and Nuri. This, this is perfect.” You close your eyes, letting this moment sink in for a while. You capture it, take a mental photo and put it in a special box somewhere in your brain, so when things get hard again, this moment will remind you how easy life can be.

“I love you.”, you whisper softly, kissing his chest a few times before laying your head back down on it.

“I love you too, Y/n.” His voice is louder, clearer, like he never wants to hide those words from you, ever. “And I want this, forever. I know I have to move away soon for my job at another school, but we will make this work. I want to make this work. It’s just a two-hour drive, that’s practically nothing.”

You lift your head to look at Jake, admiring the soft glow of his skin. There is an ounce of doubt lingering in the air. You know that his move will complicate things for you. Visiting will be hard with Nuri having to go to school and you having to work every day, but there are always weekends. And if Jake believes that the two of you can make it work, then you will.

So, you nod your head, scooting up to leave a few kisses on his plump, puffy lips. “We can make this work. We will have to.”

-

The sun is shining brightly as you pull up to the school to pick Nuri up. Normally you would wait in the car until she walks out of the school, but since Nuri had an ‘end of the school’ project today, she wanted you to come in and take a look at what she made.

Life has been good, better than good, actually. Everything has been perfect. Jake had become a constant part of your lives, visiting a few times a week and taking the two of you out on trips. Nuri and Jake’s friends- well your friends as well now- have grown incredibly close. She doesn’t talk about anything else other than the boys and how fun it is to spend time with them. They have grown closer to you too, finding a weird kind of solace whenever you are around them.

Everything is the way you always wanted it to be. And sometimes you catch yourself thinking that everything is too perfect, that something is bound to happen any time soon to destroy the little perfect life you build yourself. But you never thought it would happen this soon.

As you walk inside the school, you search for the classroom where they exhibited the projects, stopping when you hear some voices not far from you. You know it’s rude to eavesdrop but when you hear your name in the conversation, you can’t help but to stop and listen.

“Yeah, apparently she and Jake are in a relationship.”

“What? Really? She is really trying to fuck herself to the top, isn’t she?”

“I mean we could have seen it coming, right? The way she always looked at him, like she wanted to eat him alive. It was concerning. It’s a real wonder he didn’t run away when he still could, but now she got him all under her claws.”

“I have known her since our daughters were in kindergarten, and she has always been like this. Whoring around and not caring about her daughter.”

“I mean I knew she was still young and immature, but that is shocking. First, she carelessly gets knocked up at seventeen and then instead of maturing she stays a naïve little girl who fucks her daughter’s teacher. If I were here, I would be embarrassed.”

“It’s no wonder she has no support from her parents anymore. I wouldn’t support my daughter if she were a disgrace to the family like she is.”

“I mean all that aside, I think she should take the time to mature first. She is still so young, not fit to be a mother. Maybe all she needs is a clear mind before she faces the hardships of life. Maybe no one taught her how to be an adult yet.”

“Are you defending her?”

“No, of course I am not. I’m just saying she needs a wake-up call. Something that will help her get all the horniness out of her mind and get her to take better care of her daughter.”

The world has stopped. You could feel it. The air feels heavier, time doesn’t go on anymore and all sounds went quiet. Everything has stopped, except for the thoughts in your head. A dark heavy cloud forms over your head, raining down on you with an intensity, you didn’t feel in a very long time.

Maybe you jinxed it. Maybe your constant worry of something ruining your perfect little life was the one thing that ruined it all together. You should have known it.

The worst thing is knowing that they are right, not with everything of course. You aren’t ready yet. There is so much you still need to learn, so many lessons you haven’t faced yet. You aren’t ready yet. You need to mature; become a proper adult and you really aren’t ready.

You noticed it a while ago, the lingering feeling in your chest whenever Jake was around, the nagging question in the back of your head. You noticed that there was a part of you- a part that grew stronger and stronger with time- that simply wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. And while whatever the women were saying was rude and uncalled for, they are right. They spoke out what you were too scared of admitting. They spoke out what you were too scared was going to ruin all the things you built up.

You can feel it now too, the pain consuming your heart, filling your lungs, and coursing through your veins. The tears filling your eyes, the stop stuck in your throat. But you can’t let it out, not here, not now. First, you have to be a mother. First, you have to look at Nuri’s project, tell her how proud you are of her and take her home to be the mother she deserves. Later, when she’s in bed, that’s when you can let it all out.

“Excuse me.”, you say, your voice surprisingly stable and strong. All four women turn around in a second, looking at you with wide eyes and open mouths. “I was searching for the classroom where they exhibit the school projects. Would you mind telling me where it is? I don’t want to get caught, what did you call it? Ah, yes, whoring around.”

A loud gasp leaves one of the mothers’ mouths and it takes all the strength in your body not to laugh out loud at their faces. One of the other women points in the direction of the classroom for you, gulping almost visibly as you show her a bright smile.

“Thank you so much.”, you say. As you walk past them, you stop, something nagging in the back of your head. “And don’t be jealous that my needs get satisfied every night, I bet your husbands will keep up eventually.”

-

You know that ignoring Jake’s calls wouldn’t be a good idea, but you didn’t think that he would turn up at your doorstep at 10 pm shortly before you were heading to bed.

You spent the past days thinking about your situation, about your relationship with Jake and your and Nuri’s future. Over and over again did you go through all the solutions in your head, trying to figure out what’s right for you, what you want. Because for once, just one time in your life, you have to think about yourself, what you need.

You thought that it wouldn’t take long for Jake to turn up at your doorstep, but seeing him standing in front of you, hair messy, cheeks tinted in a soft red and a worried look on his face, makes you want to change your mind all over again.

“Hey.”, he says, showing you a forced smile. “Are you okay? I was worried. You’ve been ignoring my calls. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that hurt you? Because if I did then please tell me so I can make it up to you again. I swear the last thing I want is to lose you, but I can’t make it up to you if you don’t talk to me, if you don’t tell me what I did to make you shut me out.” There is an urgency in his voice, pain lingering in his words. You haven’t thought about what the past few days must have felt like for Jake, too caught up in your own head. He tried to call you multiple times and got disappointed every time you didn’t pick up yet again. It must have been torture for him not knowing if he did something wrong, not knowing the reason behind your sudden radio silence.

Looking at him like this, worried and distressed, tears fall down your face almost immediately. “Oh, baby.”, Jake softly coos. Carefully he takes a step towards you and as he notices that you make no move away from him, he pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest. “Please talk to me, Y/n. Please tell me what’s going on.”

You clear your throat, shakily wiping away the tears on your face. “I don’t want to hurt you, Jake. Please, you have to believe me that that is the last thing I ever want to do. I love you, so much. Sometimes it scares me just how much I do, but lately I’ve been realizing that I am not ready. I am not ready for this, not ready for a relationship. There is so much in my life that I need to fix, so much about myself that I need to fix. I still haven’t lived, you know? I don’t know what it is to actually live, to find myself, to know what I want and what I need. I have so much to learn. And I know that you would be by my side through whatever I am going through, supporting me and lending me a helping hand. But I realized that I need to do this alone. I need to fight through this on my own and grow from it. We are still so young, Jake, so much in our life can still happen and I don’t want you to get caught up in all of this. Especially since you’re moving away and starting a whole new chapter in your life.”

There is a beat of silence, a few seconds where everything is quiet. You only hear your own heart beating out of your chest. Jake wipes at his eyes, one, two times before he nods, slow and steady. “Okay.”, he whispers. Silence again. It’s like Jake is fighting with himself, having an inner conflict, he doesn’t want to share with you. He blows out a long breath, rubbing a hand over his face before looking back at you. His eyes red from the unshed tears.

“Okay, Y/n.”, he repeats again, blinking a few times. “Everything inside of myself is screaming for me to fight for you right now, to tell you that we can work this out and fix those things together. But I know you, and I know that once you made up your mind about something, no one can change that again.” He sighs another time, long and hard. “So, I will let you go. For now, at least. As you said, we are still young. This may be our end now, Y/n, but it won’t be our end forever. I will never give up on you. Someday, I will find you again. Someday, I will make you mine again.” Jake cups one of your cheeks in his hands, gently letting his thumb caress your soft skin. One small tear drops down his face, that is the only one he allows to escape, before he softly places a kiss on your lips. It is not a long kiss, not the type of kiss that leaves you breathless, yearning for more. It’s the type of kiss that is so soft, you wonder if it even happened after it’s over. It’s the type of kiss that rips you open from the inside, tears your heart out and leaves you bleeding out. It’s the type of kiss that makes you want to turn back time and fix all the mistakes you made in your life.

It's the type of kiss that makes you hope for a tomorrow, for a forever.

-

There is nothing you love more than a warm autumn day, watching the leaves fall down the trees, coloring the ground in bright orange and brown shades, or feeling the cold breeze in your hair. You love listening to the rustle of the trees, watching squirrels searching for nuts on the ground and tasting the fresh air on your tongue.

But what you love the most is sitting on a park bench, not one person in sight, with a book in your hand. It has become your favorite activity over the past few years. You read books like it is your job, finally having the time with Nuri almost being eleven years old. It became your little break from reality, something to look forward to on stressful days, something that would ease your mind.

Looking at the watch on your wrist, you realize that it’s almost time to pick Nuri up from her friends’ place, since you promised her to go visit uncle Sunghoon who lives a few streets from you. You put your book back into your bag, swinging it over your shoulder and standing up from where you were sitting to head to your car. But before you could even take one step, you stop in your tracks.

It's been years, you realize. Years since you’ve seen that familiar face. Years since you last hugged him, touched him, kissed him. Years since you heard his voice, seen his face. You almost can’t believe your eyes, thinking that your mind is playing a trick on you. But when you hear him speak for the first time, in what felt like forever, you know that this is real.

“Sunghoon told me I would find you hear.” He steps forward, not stopping until he is right in front of you. His wide, puppy like eyes, look down at you, lips pulled into a wide grin, as he takes the shock on your face. “Hey, Y/n.”

And that’s when it hits you. All the promises he made about not letting you go about making you his again. Now, years later, with everything different, he still intended on making all his promises come true. And you realize that it’s perfect. Right now, it’s perfect. Right now, you can start your forever.

“Hey, Jake.”

Bonus scene

You lean back in the chair on the front porch of the summer house you rented for you and the boys and watch the way Nuri teaches the other kids how to draw a butterfly with chalk. It’s a strange sight to see, Nuri all grown up, taking care of all the small little children. It makes a deep feeling of pride blossom in your chest, admiring just how far you have come.

“It’s crazy, isn’t it?”, Jake speaks up from the seat beside you. “Just how fast the time passes.”

You let your gaze wander to him, to his perfect face with his perfect eyes and perfect lips. He looks older now, more mature. But it is a good look on him. It suits you perfectly.

“It is.”, you say, letting out a soft side before leaning your back against Jakes chest, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. “But I am so grateful for this. I am so grateful we get to watch the boys’ kids grow up. I am so grateful I get see Nuri so happy and content. And I am so happy I can be with you, Jake.”

“Forever?”, he asks, eyes looking deeply into yours and a soft smile, that is only dedicated to you.

“Forever.”, you answer his question, and you have never been more honest in your whole life.

[angry-geese]

Sea, Swallow Me

Satoru Gojo x Reader

Warnings: not OSHA compliant. hurt/comfort, light angst, ex-husband Gojo. angry/hate sex, unprotected sex, oral (cunnilingus), fingering.

Synopsis: some ex-husband Gojo smut except him and the reader are still totally in love with each other >:)

a/n: this has been rattling around in my drafts since like march and I finally got my thoughts gathered enough to write it out lol

Word Count: 4.7k

jjk masterlist

Outside, the sky grows dark, signaling an incoming storm. The weather report called for it yesterday; off and on thunderstorms all night, and well into this afternoon. Not uncommon for this time of year. This morning’s grocery trip was one made with the hope of being back before another downpour started, and from the looks of it, you were successful.

Typically, when you come home, the cat is the first thing to greet you. Today, even after she hears your keys hit the counter, she remains just out of view. You don't mind it so much, even if you do find it odd. It gives you time to put away groceries, and the treats you bought for her without her begging for anything. 

The foul weather makes it as good a day as any to spend inside. Plenty of chores need to be done around your apartment, as work has begun to consume much of your free time. That’s nothing new. Certain times of the year are busier than others at Jujutsu Tech. It certainly doesn't help that two people are out due to injuries, and another is on maternity leave, meaning you’re on call nearly 24/7. 

The cat makes herself known only after she hears a can of food open, chirping as she trots into the kitchen. She stays long enough to finish eating, and get some pets from you, before settling into her spot on the window sill, intently watching leaves being blown around outside. You settle on preparing dinner: thawing meat, and chopping veggies for a soup that’ll take nearly an hour to simmer. 

A noise from the other room draws your attention; in the living room, the TV is on—something you vividly remember shutting off. A drama was playing, but the lead was giving you such bad second-hand embarrassment that you just had to shut it off.

Maybe you really are starting to lose it. 

You’ve seen it happen to others. The stress of the job—this way of life—gets to some. You could chalk it up to forgetting; maybe the cat stepped on the remote, or maybe you really did just forget. Come to think of it, didn't you turn off the lights in the kitchen before leaving too?

The back of your neck prickles with fear. Did someone really break in? You know this isn't a particularly nice part of town, but the chance of that happening is unlikely. Besides, there is no sign of forced entry. It's just a feeling of being watched. Nothing is missing, just some lights are on, and the books on your coffee table have been moved around, as if someone looked through them. Why go through the trouble then?

Nothing in particular tips you off to the presence behind you. It comes suddenly, and without warning. Fight or flight kicks in. With your elbow and wrist parallel to your collarbone, you swing outwards.

Any normal person's elbow would have been shattered by that hit. Satoru blocks it with little effort. He uses the weight of your movement against you, allowing you to fall against him. It doesn't take much time for you to realize what he’s doing, and shove yourself away from him.

“You broke in?” You say, although your voice doesn't carry any surprise. “I gotta admit, Satoru, that's a new low.”

“Technically I didn't,” he says, “I explained to the guy up front that I was your husband and he let me in.”

Internally, you curse your landlord, a sweet old man by the name of Saito. He was one of the few people who would let you move in on such short notice. This was never meant to be a permanent placement, but you suppose you don't have much to complain about here. It's an older building, but maintenance is consistent, and the interior has been completely redone. Your neighbors are quiet, pleasant people, and this is a nice corner of the neighborhood. Not nearly as luxe as your previous home, but not bad either.

As he sits down on the couch, the cat jumps straight into his lap. You know it's not fair to project human emotions onto her. She's just a cat. But you swear you see a smug little look on her face. She chirps, and bumps her head against his hand, purring loud enough it's audible across the room. 

“I think I would have rather dealt with a house robber,” you say.

“I mean, if you're into that kind of thing,” he says, “I can put the mask back on. We'll roleplay…”

“Absolutely not,” you say, snatching the remote for the tv, switching it off, “what do you want?”

Even sitting, he’s nearly eye-level with you. His hand comes up to tug at the silver chain around his neck. You don't know whether to feel angry, or sorry for him. Gojo is almost pathetic enough that you feel bad for him. Almost. 

“What?” He asks, feigning hurt. “I can't drop in to say hello to my lovely wife?”

“Ex-wife,” you say. 

Despite your current irritation with him, the separation was about as amicable as it could be. Although it’s not official in the legal sense yet, the two of you have been living separately for months now. There was no great turning moment in your relationship, just a lifetime of little things that forced a wedge between you two. These things happen. You were young when you married, and so consumed with grief that perhaps there wasn't enough thought put into it. You don't blame yourself for it, or for anything that happened. At the age of eighteen, you had a skewed view of the world. Mistakes were common at that age. That’s just part of growing up. You were young, and every emotion felt so much more potent back then. It felt right at the time. Hell, it was right.

Maybe you still love him. It’s hard to spend so much time with someone—have so many memories with them—and not love them.

“Tsumiki has a game Saturday,” he says, “you coming?”

You're slightly offended at the suggestion you would miss it. She sent you a text about it nearly a week ago. You swore to her you'd make it, even going as far as to make arrangements to leave work early.

“Of course I am.” You say. “I’ll take her—I’m off work early anyway.”

It's better for the kids that you remain an active part in their life. Megumi and Tsumiki have already dealt with so much upheaval in their life. It's cruel enough that one caregiver left them, but two? 

You tell yourself you couldn't do that to them. That alone was enough to get you to stay in your old apartment for a few more months. By then, the kids knew something was up. They're smarter than people give them credit for, and there's only so many excuses you can make for sleeping in separate rooms.

It's been maybe a year since then. Six months since you moved out. You wouldn't call it easy, but you’ve settled into your new routine quite nicely.

“Great,” he says, “why not go together then? I’ll drive. We can get dinner together afterwards.”

Your mouth opens in protest. Although it’s phrased as a question, you know him better than that. Satoru will do everything to weasel his way into this situation. Your barely-pleasant expression sours entirely.

“No, thank you,” you say, gesturing to the door, “now get out of my house.”

“Don't be like that, baby,” he says. His arms stretch out towards you, and you immediately dart out of their path. 

“I hated you calling me that when we were married,” you say, “what makes you think I’ve changed?”

“You haven't.” He says. “That’s why I’m still here.”

Within the air here hangs a rift that time won't heal. This room—this space—is too emotionally charged for you to think straight. Your head spins, clouded with anger and spite.

“Don't tell me you left the kids alone to come bother me?” You say.

Tsumiki is nearly fifteen, and pretty independent, but you don't like leaving the kids alone any longer than you have to.

“Of course not,” he says, almost looking offended, “Tsumiki is off at a sleepover, and I got your mother to watch Megs for the weekend.”

“You what?!” 

A look of shock and betrayal crosses your face. You love your mother dearly, really, but sometimes she can be a bit… much. Early on into your marriage, she was asking when you were going to have children of your own. Being freshly twenty at the time, your answer to her was simple: never. Megumi and Tsumiki were enough. You wanted to be able to devote your time—and attention—to them, not a newborn. 

Satoru catches you in your moment of shock, his arms snaking around your waist. Your hands plant on his wrists to shove them away, yet you stop yourself. 

The sound of your phone ringing in the other room gives you a reason to escape. You free his arms from your waist, heading into the bedroom. You don't hear him get up to follow you, yet you know he does. Sitting on the table beside your bed, still charging, is your phone. It’s Tsumiki. You only glance at your phone long enough to see her name, not what she’s saying. 

The end of the bed dips under his weight as he sits. He tries his best to be covert about it, but you feel his gaze wandering around the room. From the photos on the wall, to the papers on your desk, to the stuffed animals on your bed. Oh, you can hear his snide comments now.

“Those earrings are new,” he says. And you swear you hear a slight tone of disappointment in his voice. “Pretty.”

Goosebumps rise along your arm as he reaches out to feel it, brushing across your shoulder in the process. Crystals, although they may be glass, cut to look like gems, dangling from your ears. They’re blue in color; not a light slate, but a deep cerulean. Subtle enough that they’re rather unnoticeable from a distance.

“Shoko gave them to me,” you say.

She took pity on you once she found out about the divorce. Maybe she felt partially responsible, seeing as she was the one who introduced you two.

Getting sent off to the religious boarding school known as Jujutsu Technical college was a major blow to your teenage social life. At fifteen, all you wanted was to go to a normal high school with your normal friends. Yet you weren't granted such a luxury, and instead were thrown into a world you knew nothing about. You quickly found solace, and a strange kind of companionship in the girl that smoked behind the school: Ieiri Shoko.

If you didn't end up marrying him, you probably would have married her. 

For you, it wasn't love at first sight. You could barely stand him in the beginning. It was a rivalry that slowly turned into friendship, ending in romance, albeit with much prodding from Suguru and Shoko. Teenage love consumed the two of you harshly, and entirely.

It wouldn't be until years later, after the wedding, when you would find out they bet on it.

You don't push him away when he kisses you. Just a peck, nothing more. Like you’re teenagers, exchanging affections in the stairwell between classes. When the higher ups would get upset at you, not him, because he was the strongest and could get away with just about everything.

Of course you still love him. How couldn't you?

You were one of the first to look at him as something other than the strongest. Even after the star plasma vessel, and Toji Zenin. Even after Suguru’s death. Even through your own grief, your presence was constant. To him, the concept of not having you around was strange.

The taste of coffee and lipstick lingers on your lips. Your thumb comes up to wipe away the smudge of red that’s transferred to his lips. And you, so pliable and eager, fall right into his lap.

His lips find your neck, hands wandering from your arms, to your chest, to your waist. He’s savoring your closeness—the scent of your shampoo: coconut. Little do you know, he keeps a bottle of the stuff in his own bathroom. If anyone asks, he claims it’s Tsumiki’s. Only you would know otherwise. She hates the stuff, and has been buying her own since the moment she was able to. Really, he keeps it around because he can't bring himself to throw it away.

“Satoru, we shouldn't do this.” You say. You don't really want him too, it’s only to preserve your pride.

Then why is your body responding so well to him? Your body knows this routine. Maybe the last several months of living alone has sped up the process considerably. Blood rushes where it needs to be, and perhaps most shamefully of all, you’re wet. Although you’re not quite prepared yet, it’s just in the early stages of gathering.

A line of saliva connects his lips and your neck as he pulls away. “If you really wanted me gone, I wouldn't still be here,” he says. 

You tell yourself that, if you really wanted him to stop, then you wouldn't have spent so many nights dreaming of this. You wouldn't reach out to the cold spot on the bed beside you. Your subconscious wouldn't long for him in nearly every way imaginable. 

His hands trace across your waist, coming to take yours. They’re warm, albeit a bit shaky. He’s just itching to undress you—to claim what’s his. It's a sick, possessive side of him that’s only fueled by your recent months apart. He comes to kneel before you like a man bowed in prayer. Satoru sits in worship, but not for the favor of a higher being. You might as well be one to him. Should you wish it, the strongest—wielder of the six eyes—would worship the very ground before you. That devotion would soon become suffocating. It was a bandaid on an already failing relationship.

“Still want me to stop?” He asks, squeezing your hands. Whether that’s on purpose, or an accident, you can't tell. “You say no and I’ll stop here. Just give me the word and we won't ever have to do this again.”

In this moment, your body betrays you: you shake your head. You don't truly want him to go; you know that, he knows that. He wouldn't be poking and prodding at every little unhealed wound if that wasn't the case.

“I need to hear you say it,” he says. That’s when you notice what’s on the chain around his neck: his wedding ring. 

It's like he’s mocking you. Of course he still has it. Of course he saw that yours was still sitting on the bathroom counter. 

Satoru has always been like this. He pokes and prods, finding out where you’re weak. What cracks or wounds he can press his fingers into. Pushing boundaries comes natural to him. 

Maybe you’ve changed. Maybe he hasn't changed at all.

“I just want to get off,” you say. 

“Poor baby,” he coos, “you haven't gotten off at all while I was gone, have you? You should have called me. I would have taken care of you.”

“I think I'd rather call Nanami for that.” You say.

The chuckle he lets out sounds nervous. “I know you're joking,” he says, “but judging by the way he looks at you? I think he'd take you up on the offer.”

You believe it. It was a thinly veiled secret that Nanami harbored a little crush for you. The man would never go as far as to pursue his coworker, let alone his coworker's ex wife. This entire time, he’s kept a respectful distance, only speaking about your marriage if you expressed a want to do so. You’ve considered it. Hell, you’ve given it a lot of thought. You think maybe… just maybe, if the two of you were drunk or desperate enough, something could happen. But fraternizing with coworkers in such a way is ill-advised. 

Satoru is going to give him hell tomorrow when he sees him at work. Nanami will be none the wiser, assuming Satoru is up to his usual antics.

“One last chance to back out of this,” he says, “if you don't want to do this…”

“Are you going to fuck me or not?” You ask.

His fingers trace down the curve of your spine, before coming to the hem of your sweater, pulling it up—and over—your head. From him comes an audible little gasp once he realizes you have no bra on underneath. That part wasn't intentional; you need to do laundry, and your shirt was baggy enough that a bra wasn't necessary. Your nipples stiffen once exposed to the open air. Although you know how this looks, it sends a pang of self-consciousness through you, causing you to cross your arms in front of your chest. It’s not like he hasn't seen this before. Maybe it's a last ditch attempt to preserve your pride. And he’s nearly tripping over himself to undress, pulling off his coat, then button-up, then trousers. Off comes your skirt, the silky fabric pooling around your feet. 

If you could stop for a moment and think, it would be endearing: the desperation that falls over you two like teenagers. He can hardly keep his hands off you, while you don't quite know what to do with yours. Eventually, you settle on wrapping your arms around his neck. 

You sit on the edge of the bed before him, still in your panties. Plain black. Nothing fancy, but cute. Maybe if you knew…

You almost scold yourself for thinking such things. It’s not like you had any way of knowing this would happen. You know part of it was to preserve your pride. Being able to move on without seeming like you needed him. He’s not your husband anymore; why go through the effort of getting dressed up?

Beside you, on the bed, he finds a spot to sit. He’s half hard already. His hands ghost up the outsides of your arms, before coming to cup your face. They soon fall to your waist as you move to straddle his lap.

Satoru leans in to kiss you, and it’s… uncharacteristically sweet. That almost makes things worse. If this were something over and done with quickly, that would be tolerable. You could chalk it up to raw emotions or hormones or something other than the fact you still have feelings for him and haven't come to terms with that.

Sex for the sake of mindless pleasure is one thing. It’s tolerable. You can explain it away easily. But the way he handles you—like you’re going to break—sends a pang of pain through your chest. It's too much. Should he act selfishly, that would be far more bearable than this. 

You almost want him to. It would be so much easier if he just took what he wanted, and left.

“Lay back,” he says, “like that. Good girl.”

You scoot back on the bed just far enough to fall against the pillows. Your thighs part just enough to accompany him. The body above yours is warm. His lips find yours, then your neck, then one of your stiffened nipples, softly biting down on it. That draws a sharp gasp from you, although the shock it sends down your spine is rather pleasurable. 

His fingers hook under the waistband of your panties, tugging them down your legs slowly. Achingly slowly. Shamelessly, his eyes linger on the way they stick to your already slick cunt. This moment is only dragging out because he wants it to. They’re tossed away alongside the rest of your clothes. Long, deft fingers come to trace along your slit; teasing motions done by a man who can barely contain himself. The patience of Satoru Gojo has limits, and you’re testing them.

He palms himself through his boxers. He's completely hard now. That doesn't stop him from trailing long, sloppy kisses down your stomach, and up your thigh. His thumb traces across the bundle of nerves. Slow and steady. Just enough to get you aching for him, but not enough to get you anywhere. You try to angle your hips towards him—to grind against him—but Satoru cruelty pulls his hand away. 

“Just… let me have my moment,” he says, chest heaving as he breathes in. 

So he admits it…

His thumb is soon replaced with his mouth, greedily licking and sucking at the bundle of nerves that is your clit. There's little rhyme or reason but it's just messy enough that it'll get you off. First, his index finger pushes into you, then another. Satoru must be moaning nearly as loud as you. The hand that isn't fucking out is wrapped around his cock, and he's bucking into it like it's a warm body. Judging by the noises he's making, he's going to cum, so he stops himself before he does so. You don't. Satoru guides you through your own orgasm, his mouth leaving your clit only after you've stopped trembling. It felt rushed. You're not quite satisfied.

Satoru makes a show of licking his fingers. When he kisses you, this taste only grows more prominent. He's making you taste yourself and you're not quite sure how to feel about it. It's not unpleasant, akin to unripe persimmons in taste.

“Is it how you remember?" You ask, a coy expression spreading across your face.

“Different,” he says, “better.”

There’s no time to grab a condom. Not that you have any in here anyway. Whatever consequences that result from this will be dealt with in the morning.

A small groan leaves him as he bottoms out. It's obvious that he tries to stifle it, and fails, resulting in a noise that certainly has your neighbors questioning things. You'll avoid their gazes in the hall tomorrow morning. This won't become a regular thing, you tell yourself. 

Hardly a few thrusts in and he knows he is going to cum too soon. You can see it all over his face. Pleasure turns to concentration, then thinly veiled stress. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills your bedroom. Some small, sick little part of you is grateful for your thin walls.

You hate him. You still love him. You wish he would walk out of your apartment right now. But part of you can't bear to sleep another night alone.

“You don't know how much I've been thinking about this,” he says, making a noise between a grunt and a huff, “about the way you feel. Taste. I couldn't get it out of my head.”

His mouth finds yours again and the kiss he exchanges with you is dripping with desperation. Something small, and quiet leaves his lips once they part with yours. You soon recognize it as an “I love you.”

He cums sooner than either of you expected, and from him, your name spills past his lips like a prayer. Though, you suppose that this is the closest he'll ever get to praying.

Your own release is still just out of reach. It doesn't take much effort to get him on his back, and you on top, riding him. He’s still hard, despite having just cum inside you. The fruits of his effort can be seen streaming down your thighs. Your movements grow sloppier as you grow nearer to your release, grinding down against him and his softening cock. Within your stomach, it’s as if an invisible band is tightening. Your own orgasm comes out in the form of a noise that sounds like both a moan and a sob. It's anger and pain mixing with pleasure. Tears of frustration are brimming along your lower lash line. You hate him. You love him. You wish he would leave but you don't want to sleep alone. A rift exists between the two of you that time will not heal.

Instead, you lay beside him on the bed. From beside you, he grabs a blanket for you to cover yourself with. As much as he missed the sight of your naked body, he knows this room is cold, and you’ll be getting up to get dressed anyway. 

To him, there’s not a more beautiful sight: you, laying on the bed beside him, leaking of his cum. It would be better if it were his own bed, he thinks, but this'll do. 

“I take it we’re on speaking terms again?” He asks.

“I don't know yet,” you say, “depends on how this conversation goes.”

From beside you on the nightstand, you retrieve your glasses, putting them back on. Outside, the sky still appears dark, only lit up momentarily by a bolt of lightning. The rain has slowed to a drizzle, running down your window in streams.

“Seems like great weather to stay in bed,” he comments. 

An arm snakes around your waist. You debate with yourself on whether or not to shove it off.

“I think some time apart will do us good.” You say, and the arm around your waist stiffens. He seems to be deciding whether to pull away or not.

“And what? Couples therapy too?” His tone suggests he's making a joke, but not one in bad faith.

“Just in general, you need therapy,” you’re only half joking when you say it, despite it applying to you too, “but I don't think there's one that specializes in whatever you have going on.”

“Funny.” He says flatly.

He lays on his back on the bed, and you lay on your side, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. 

“I don't know what I want.” You say, finally. “I guess I could use something to eat.”

You had plans to make a nice, elaborate dinner tonight, although you’re no longer feeling like it. You went through the effort of buying the ingredients, and cleaning the kitchen, so you might as well. 

Satoru follows you as you make your way to the kitchen, stopping once to pull on a shirt. It used to be one of his, he notes. Maybe enough time has passed that you don't remember. Maybe you do. It’s just long enough to fall towards the middle of your thighs—you won't be giving the neighbors a show. He stops long enough to pull his boxers back on, leaving the rest of his clothes discarded on your bedroom floor.

From a cabinet, you retrieve two mugs. On goes the kettle to boil. He watches as you fill the french press with one… two… three scoops of coffee grounds. Just enough boiling water goes in to wet the grounds—they have to sit for a few minutes before the rest is poured in. 

Your taste in coffee hasn't changed much over the years. You still take it with cream and sugar. Satoru—when he does drink coffee—takes it with enough sugar to make your teeth hurt. 

“We must be on speaking terms,” he says, “otherwise I'd have been kicked out by now.”

“If I was going to kick you out, I would have done it before we had sex. Not after.” You say, taking a sip of your coffee. 

Something about the casualness of this moment makes your chest ache; like the last year hasn't happened, and the two of you are just sharing a moment over coffee. 

Neither of you notice the front door opening, nor the jingle of keys being inserted into the lock. Tsumiki, standing in the doorway, nearly drops what she’s holding: a book. Her eyes are wide with a mix of shock, before narrowing into anger. 

“‘Miki!” You say, almost as shocked as her, if not moreso. “What are you doing here?”

“Returning this,” she says, holding up the book in her hand, “I sent you a text about it like an hour ago. What are you doing?!”

Truly, you don't have anything to say for yourself. Your mouth opens, and a few, broken fragments of an excuse come out. Satoru, looking nearly as surprised as you, simply waves to her, before disappearing into another room. That won't help your case at all. 

“Having coffee,” you say, “we were just talking about your game on Saturday.”

She seems unconvinced. Tsumiki, like most teenagers, is a lot smarter than people give her credit for. Silently, she sets the book on the counter, before turning back towards the door.

“I’ll see you at dinner," she says, leaving.

[dopscratch]

mugshot meme with the trio :) i love fishlegs which reminds me....

INCOMING BOOKS-MOVIES RAMBLE- even if you only know the movies please stick around, i cant make you but maybe you'll find the rest of this interesting

SO, so so so. i love the movies (well the first two...) but i will never forget their transgressions on the original plot

they took away hiccups Heroic Hair why would you do that he's nothing without his Heroic Hair

they swapped hiccup and fishlegs's personalities why would you do that why would you take away my nerd protagonist my nerd self is weeping

hiccup and fishlegs are no longer best friends why why would you do that to me i live for their loser friendship its just like me

they took away camacazi and made a mid love interest i dont care what you say astrid is mid tier never liked her much apologies i also dont like love interests so take my opinons with a grain of salt

in the movies toothless is actually Super Cool and hiccup also becomes Super Cool and earns massive respect and is not a laughingstock ever since the very first movie which hurt his appeal to me in the movies since, believe it or not, i am a Loser and hiccup also being a Loser and Becoming A Hero The Hard Way was very compelling to me

hiccup is the Absolute Main Character in the movies and the supporting characters don't get much spotlight while in the books it's a pretty well balanced group which i like

snotlout is no longer hiccups cousin and is just comic relief which is a HUGE missed opportunity for drama and depth that i loved in the books

villains in general are sort of mid tier throughout (except viggo viggo was cool. also i love dagur he's the best)

WHERE'S ALVIN

dragons are no longer complex. i loved their society of sorts and their unique morals (generally selfish, cruel creatures who have full knowledge of their actions and just don't care- though have the capacity for kindness) and their whole language and the fact hiccup knew that language because he is a Nerd

HICCUP'S LANGUAGES!! GUYS WHO ONLY WATCHED THE MOVIES, DID YOU KNOW HICCUP IS FLUENT IN AT LEAST 4 LANGUAGES?? HE KNOWS NORSE, DRAGONESE, FRENCH, AND LATIN!! WELL YOU DO NOW

HOOOOLY CRAP the story is SO much darker i'll avoid huge spoilers but let's just say. war. slavery. torture. death. surprisingly generous amounts of blood.

more main-line content- technically yes the shows and other companion materials count for the movie-verse but some things are questionably canon and all that. meanwhile you have 12 whole books that are irrefutably canon and are incredibly well-connected especially through the end.

thats everything that my brain feels like spitting out now. there's obviously more (ESPECIALLY in regards to my uh... opinions about the third movie) but im too lazy to do anything about it at the moment

overall all two movies and the shows are still good and i cherish them so my smack talking is pretty lighthearted. still love the books more though

[hyerinrose]

hello, angellll !!1!1!1!＼(´ ∇`)ノ i wonder how yan bully react if his darling have a boyfriend... and yan bully ask his darling why they have someone else and then his darling says that they want to lose their feelings for yan bully (like they want to move on yk)

anways i love you and i hope you have a great day/night, angel ♡

-🦈

Hihi 🦈 anon! Mm I like your big brain :00 ily too have a good/night day!

Synopsis : Darius discovered that you have a boyfriend and confronts you about it. The outcome of it was.. unexpected

T/W : Drama, Angst, reader's boyfriend implied to be murdered later, kissing (omg), two idiots in love (one more murderous about it than the other)

•┈••✦ 🎀✦••┈•💌•┈••✦ 🎀 ✦••┈•

"Oi dumb face, I need to talk to ya for a sec" Darius approached you at your locker one morning.

You jumped in surprise at his presence and backed yourself further at your locker. Darius rose an eyebrow at your odd behaviour, usually you would've told him off for bothering you.

"Oh- uhm not sure if I can, I have to meet up with someone right now" Your (E/C) avoided his golden irises, clearly showing you were lying to him.

He snickered and slammed his hand on a locker beside yours, the sound resonating through out the empty hallway. Twirling a strand of your hair he asked in a clipped tone,

"Really? And who would that be? Your nonexistent boyfriend?" Darius laughed at the end of his sentence.

He's the reason you never had a partner up until now. Only those who wish to have their life cut short would dare to pursue you.

You only meekly nodded in response and Darius quickly snapped his gaze on you. Quickly looking for sign of lies on your face, only to be met with none.

Oh he was livid.

"Who? Who the fuck is stupid enough to be your boyfriend, huh? Tell me, tell me damnit!" Darius was beyond angry.

He was angry at your boyfriend for daring to steal you away, angry at himself for letting that bastard even try.

"A-Avery.." You said your boyfriend's name in a low tone, afraid of how Darius was going to react.

"That pipsqueak? You choose him of all the fucking losers in this school to date? Why?! He couldn't protect you with those noodle arm he has, he couldn't do shit for you"

Darius then lean his face closer to you, your noses were practically touching. His expression that was usually contains of smugness now only filled with desperation.

Desperation to know why you didn't choose him instead.

"Because I wanted to forget about you! I- I love you, asshole! And I hate myself for it.." You feel tears dropping down your face, you never wanted him to know of your feelings for him.

The blond looked taken aback at your confession, however once he recovered from the initial shock, a smirk stretched across his face.

You readied yourself for the incoming mockery and the harsher bullying you'd receive from Darius after this but it never came.

"Wh-!" A pair of lips come in contact with yours, your (E/C) snapped open. Darius was kissing you! Your bully whom you had feelings for was kissing you!

"I love you too, dumbass. I always have been. You should've told me instead of using that loser to forget about me" He muttered once you two pulled away.

"Does that mean we're dating now?" You asked him and yelped once he lean his forehead onto yours.

"Of course. From now on you're mine and I'm yours, you got that? Don't ever forget about it, dumb face"

Now that he already got you in his arm, it's time for him to take care of that bastard who thought he had a chance with you.

No one can have you but him. Only him.

•┈••✦ 🎀✦••┈•💌•┈••✦ 🎀 ✦••┈•

[kasagia]

♡Be my Valentine♡

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x reader

Summary: The day of lovers came like a bolt from the blue. You were planning to stay in your house, make yourself a huge pizza, and celebrate another year of being a single, self-sufficient woman. But you forgot that having the original hybrid as a lover-enemy (more like a puppy/wolf madly in love with you) comes with all sorts of surprises.

Word count: 4,4k+

My bloodthirsty alarm clock has been bothering me for 15 minutes. I promised myself that this time I would give up throwing a metal object and save myself the few dollars I used to spend on a new alarm clock every month. I groaned, rolling out of bed and getting up to turn off the death machine. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and threw myself back on the bed to check my messages.

Queen of school: Don't forget about the Valentine's Ball! I want to see you there with some sexy guy, so this freak-ancient hybrid will finally give you peace. P.S. Don't even think about missing it. I'll make Stefan or Damon come for your lazy ass.

Love you too, Gilbert. :-P

I groaned as I put a pillow over my face. It completely slipped my mind that today is this bloody holiday. Caroline will kill me if I try to avoid this annual nightmare again. I had to find a way to get out of this. Last year I had an unannounced visit from my mother, and two years ago I went skiing with Elena (who had broken up with Matt and was as reluctant to participate in this stupid holiday as I was). Maybe this time Bonnie could help me extricate myself from this?

Hello, my best friend ever! Could you help me hide in the darkest hole in this town so I didn't have to go out today and risk my mental health being completely damaged after seeing all these copules who will be sucking each other's faces and pelting each other with chocolates, flowers, and God knows what else?

Bon_Bon sweetheart: Are Caroline or Elena making you go to the party again?

Yes. On pain of death.

Bon_Bon sweetheart: You three are such drama queens. Give me five minutes. I'll come to you and help you with your excuse.

Thank you! You've always been my favorite.

Bon_Bon sweetheart: Don't let Caroline hear that!

I sighed in relief as I put my phone down. Immediately after, it buzzed, signaling an incoming call. Rebekah.

"What's up?" I asked after answering it.

Rebekah and I formed a sort of friendship after she joined our school. Of course, the girls were furious, but with time, they grew accustomed to my strange, warm-hearted relationship with Mikaelson. Actually, not only one of them. Kol was surprisingly nice after our many fights over every food I had, he liked to mess with me, especially after he saw I didn't shy away from teasing him just because he was an evil, crazy original vampire. Elijah and I somehow ended up together in the public library, discussing a book we were both reading. Since then, I've had three "friends" of the originals.

There was only one problem in this strange, twisted life of an ordinary man among the vampires, witches, and werewolves that I managed to lead. And there weren't fights between my two groups of friends. The problem was called Klaus Mikaelson. A man who turned our relatively quiet life in Mystic Falls upside down. A vampire who wanted to use Elena's blood to make hybrids similar to him (which she refused to do, as if taking her magical blood every month and giving it to Klaus wouldn't bury the hatchet between bloodthirsty vampires and bring us peace again).

"Can you tell me why all of the people are acting crazy? I mean, they aren't usually normal, but today they are unreasonable! Every wall is plastered with strange hearts, angels with arcs, and other red and pink damn things. We're celebrating a day of ripping people's hearts out, or what's the point?" she asked, both annoyed and confused by the whole situation. Just let it wait until Valentine's Day mail. Then a real nightmare happens.

"Almost. Have you ever heard of Valentine's Day, or has your ancient ass been kept in that musty coffin too long for you to know such a thing?"

"What?"

"In short. There was this one guy who decided that he had to set aside one special day in the year when people would declare their sincere, undying love for each other. And attention. Today is that day. So if you have a boy you're crazy about, you might as well go out with him tonight. If you don't have such plans, you can join me. We'll watch a movie, eat junk food, and complain about all men on this earth." I suggested as I walked into the kitchen and made sure I had everything I needed to survive this day.

"You seriously don't have anyone you would like to spend this day with? Did you see yourself in the mirror?! You're beautiful and…"

"Thank you. But I don't want to go out, find some guy, and have fun with him just because this holiday expects it of me. I'm not looking for one-night stands or something like that. Plus, I could use a day off from the drama of Mystic Falls."

"As you wish. I guess I'll try my luck and try to find someone. Hang on there!"

"Good luck! Have fun, honey!"

As soon as I hung up, I heard a knock on the door. I changed quickly, tying my hair as I went, and opened the door. Bonnie wrinkled her nose at my messy state.

"Hi girl. You really don't want to go, do you?" she asked, entering the apartment and looking around. It's a good thing I cleaned up last night.

"After planning a whole beautiful day of doing nothing? No thanks. I just hope Caroline will forgive me." I replied, leaning against the door and staring at the witch.

She has changed since she found out who she really is. She became bolder, more persistent, and fiercer. Like all of us, I guess. Sometimes I miss those quiet days when vampires and werewolves were just fantastic inventions. Everything was simpler then.

"She might be a little pissed off, but she'll understand. Caroline just wants you to be well. She thinks you haven't gotten over your breakup with Luck yet and wants to help you." she tried to defend her friend's behavior.

However, we both knew that Caroline's dominant side wasn't just the result of her caring. She liked to stick her nose in other matters; the fact that she was trying to save the whole world at the same time was the only reason why we turned a blind eye to the blonde's behavior.

"As if being single was a punishment, not a choice. Just because I didn't jump into the arms of some other hot, dark-haired guy doesn't mean I'm still grieving the breakup with that asshole." I grunted, annoyed. I was able to fully take care of myself. I didn't need a man to lean on, especially not after what happened with my ex. Life alone was easier.

"I know. That's why I bring you this." she took a small glass bottle from her leather bag and handed it to me.

"What is it?" I asked, taking the vial from her and turning it over in my hand.

"Potion. A couple of sips, and you'll have a terrible cold. Take it when one of the guys comes to check on you. As soon as he's gone, eat a black peppercorn, and you'll be back to normal."

"Wow. How do you know that? You're becoming a more advanced witch, Miss Bennet. 5 points for Hufflepuff." I said with admiration. I have always loved witches and hags depicted in literature, so having a real one as a friend was a real blessing for me. That doesn't mean I'd give up joking about Bonnie's extraordinary abilities.

"Really funny. Now excuse me. Unlike you, I'm going to school, and I still have to pick out a dress, and unfortunately, I don't have a rich hybrid at my beck and call. Why don't you go out with him if you don't have anyone else? This will keep Caroline from letting you go. Also, he seems to be more peaceful for us after he spends a day with you." she tapped me on the arm with a mischievous smirk.

"Yeah. And right after the perfect date, I will confess my great love to him by getting down on one knee and proposing to him."

"If that's what you want. Happy Valentine's Day, grouch!" she screamed with a huge smile, closing the door behind her. A strange feeling of hope ran through my body.

After all, maybe it's going to be a good day.

~♡♡♡•♡♡♡~

*A few hours later*

"It's a pity you got sick today." Stefan said after he took my temperature.

The vampire was delegated by Caroline to get me out of the house at all costs. Luckily, Bonnie's potion worked perfectly, and that's how I ended up wrapped in the warmest blanket on the couch with my few-hundred-year-old friend.

"I know. I really wanted to go to the ball and see how you and Caroline won the prize for being the best couple." I said, blowing my nose into one of the handkerchiefs.

"Do you believe in us so much?"

"Well, after Tayler swore to make Klaus' life miserable, he didn't work well as her boyfriend. They were cute at first, but it all went to hell. So take your chance before some other handsome guy hangs around her. Like Kol or Elijah." my taunt was met with a small snort from the man.

"Speaking of the Mikaelsons. How's your fledgling relationship with Klaus? I'm surprised he didn't call in the entire medical team from the hospital to check on you." he replied amused when he noticed how my smile fades along with the memory of the original.

"You think you're funny, Salvatore? Aside from your feeble attempt at joking, I must also point out your poor choice of words. Me and Klaus have no relationship."

"Of course. The guy just sends you fancy, expensive dresses every time there's a party in Mystic Falls, sends you love notes with your portraits on them, is there for you almost 24/7, and scares away any potential guy who wants to date you." he teased, counting on his fingers all the deeds of the original.

"He did what?! Who the hell he scared?" I sprang off the couch, dropping a box of tissues as I went.

"I witnessed him almost stabbing Kol for saying you looked scathing in one of those dresses he sent you. Poor Elijah had to look for you all over the school so you could distract your hybrid." he laughed a little at the indignation on my face.

"He isn't mine." I growled, returning to my comfortable spot on the couch.

"Tell him, not me. So, you don't happen to have a date with that wolf in love?" he asked, suddenly curious, leaning in my direction with searching eyes and a mysterious smirk on his lips.

"Pigs will fly before I date that damn imbecile." I snorted, pushing him away from me to reach for another tissue. Bonnie seems to have overdone the potency of this wonderful potion.

"Well, think it over. If Damon sees flying pork in Mystic Falls tomorrow, he'll probably go abstinent. You could inherit his share of our old wine collection from him."

"Did Caroline send you to act as my and Klaus' matchmaker for her?"I asked, leaning over to the vampire to eye him suspiciously.

"Not that blonde. But it was Caroline who finally convinced me. You don't even know how a common goal can unite even the worst enemies. Have a good time!" he shouted, pushing me onto the couch and grabbing his phone off the coffee table.

"Stefan! Wait!" I tried to stop him, but thanks to his super speed, he escaped from my apartment.

I snorted, muttering curses at the vampire under my breath as I stood up to close the door behind him.

It was usually Caroline, Bonnie, and Rebekah who teased me about Klaus' supposed feelings for me. The girls would make suggestive, eloquent comments whenever me and Klaus did something together or paired us up for a particular task against the newest threats in Mystic Falls. They often used me as a "distraction" and "bait" for the original hybrid. Not to mention their whistling every time we somehow danced together.

Worst of all, though, was Rebekah's teasing after I stayed overnight at the Mikaelsons' and Klaus and I accidentally ended up in his bed. I will never forget her malicious tone of voice and the wave of shame and embarrassment that engulfed me after she said to Klaus: "You must not have tried hard enough, brother, since neither of us heard you had a visitor in your sheets."

Adding Stefan to their little "group of bullies" will only make their taunts worse.

My God, keep Kol away from their stupid plans.

I went to the kitchen to take "an antidote" for my illness. I made myself some popcorn and decided to watch "Pride and Prejudice" as my first movie tonight. Halfway through the movie, I heard a knock on the door. It could only be one person.

"If you don't have food with you, I'm not going to let you in, Bekah." I said as I opened the door. I froze in place when I finally saw who was on the other side of them. Klaus.

"Not this Mikaelson, love. I've heard you are sick, so I brought you this." he picked up the bundle in his hands, which smelled dangerously similar to my favorite food.

"How the hell did you get here? I thought you and Elijah were going on a reconnaissance mission or something like that, and you'd be gone for a week." I said, honestly surprised to see him.

"It's nice to know that you do care about me, love, and are taking the trouble to assimilate such information. Satisfying your curiosity, we came back early. Can I come in now?"

"It depends." I replied, crossing my arms over my chest.

"On what?" he asked with a charming smirk, leaning his head against the door frame.

"What is this?" I asked, pointing to the packaging.

"That disgusting, fiendishly spicy spaghetti that you've somehow taken a liking to lately."

"And what do you have in the other hand?" I asked as I saw him trying hard to hide something behind him.

"It's a surprise. I can't jump out with all my gifts right now, can I?"

"Make me regret this, and I'll ask Bonnie to cancel all my invitations again, even if it means I'll spend another half day letting my friends in, because amazingly, 90 percent of them are vampires."

"I won't make that mistake again, love. If you could…" he pointed at the door and the invisible barrier blocking him from entering.

"Come in, the bane of my existence." I sighed, turning my back on him to go back to my cocoon of blankets on the couch.

"You must admit, I'm the most handsome bane you could ever dream of."

"I don't know… you could be at least younger." I replied thoughtfully, smiling as his confident smirk faded.

"Ouch." he put his hand on his chest, close to his heart, pretending to be hurt. He carefully placed the packaging on the coffee table and handed me the gardenia bouquet, which he had been hiding behind his back all this time.

"And for what occasion?" I asked, taking the flowers from the softly smiling hybrid and looking at them for a moment. Despite my reluctance, I had to admit that they were beautiful and smelled amazing.

He nodded at the bouquet. I looked it over carefully, noticing a small piece of paper between the flowers. I opened the note, checking its contents.

Unpack your lunch.

There was no mistaking Klaus' perfect handwriting for anyone else's.

I frowned, glancing at the hybrid sitting carelessly beside me. The bastard pretended not to see my questioning look and watched the scene of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in the rain with fascination, like nothing happened.

I snorted as I opened the box and started eating my spaghetti while continuing to watch my movie. At one point, I felt Klaus's arm slide precariously onto the back of the couch behind me, and the hybrid itself moved slightly closer to me.

He watched me for a moment, gauging my reaction. I decided to tease the vampire a bit and, sighing deeply, leaned back completely against him, resting my head on his shoulder.

He tensed up, gently wrapping his arm around me that he had placed on the back of the couch earlier.

When I had finished eating, I saw that there was a note on the bottom of the clear plastic box on the other side. I turned the box over, reading another note, much to the interest and excitement of the man sitting next to me.

Check your jacket pockets.

I turned my gaze to Klaus. I looked into his eyes, trying to see the shadow of any plan he was hiding.

"Any problem, love?" he asked, pretending to be a fool.

"I don't know yet." I mumbled, licking my mouth. His gaze flicked from my eyes to my lips. He leaned toward me, getting dangerously close. His attention returned to my eyes, trying to anticipate my next move. With a small, mischievous smirk, I shoved the empty box into his hands and pushed him away from me, getting up from the couch to walk over to the coat rack.

I slipped my hand into the pocket of my leather jacket, immediately sensing the tiny square note.

Go down.

I turned to the hybrid standing behind me. I held the paper up to his eye level, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"What's this?"

"Come and find out for yourself, love. I dare you."

I crossed my arms over my chest, giving him a defiant look.

"You know, I have a rather tempting counterproposal to stay in a warm and cozy home. I'm hardly drawn to the unknown with my friends' nemesis."

"It would be such a shame if Caroline somehow got to know that you're quite healthy and ready to go to her party. You had to leave your cozy couch."

"You wouldn't…" I walked over to him, giving him a menacing look.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" he accepted the challenge by taking a step closer so our chests were touching.

"Well played. Expect retaliation, love." I replied, trying to imitate his tone of voice when he gave people that nickname. The hybrid only laughed. He helped me put on my jacket, and placing his hand on my back, he led me out of the building.

We stopped in front of his car, on the hood of which was another card.

Let the handsome and hot chauffeur drive you to your destination.

"Handsome and hot? Someone's got a good imagination." I laughed, turning the note over in my hands. The man gave me a hurt look as he opened the passenger door for me. "Someone is also mysterious today." I teased further, walking over to Klaus to face him. "Really? Won't you tell me anything?"

"Careful, love. Curiosity killed the cat."

"And the satisfaction brought him back."

"If you want, I can work on your satisfaction later when we get back."

I rolled my eyes, ignoring his smug smirk as I got into his car without a word.

He was in the driver's seat next to me in less than a second and had already started the engine. He pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the main road out of Mystic Falls.

"Where are we going?" my question was met only by his silence. "Come on. I'm not jumping out of the car when you're going that fast anyway."

"Who knew you were so impatient, love? We'll be there shortly." he replied, glancing briefly at me. He smiled, obviously amused by my grumpy attitude.

"Who would have thought you could hold your tongue for more than five minutes?"

"Insults will get you nowhere, love." he smiled teasingly, looking at me for a moment.

"Please, Klaus. Tell me where you're taking me so I can tell you what a wonderful, loving, and caring guy you are that instead of handing me over to the bloodthirsty Caroline, you decided to take me on the adventure of a lifetime."

"That's better." I huffed angrily, moving as far away from him as possible. In the reflection of the window, I saw him roll his eyes. "If you must know, I'm taking you to the only place worth seeing in this awful neighborhood. Content?"

"Sufficiently." I turned to him with a mischievous smirk on my lips.

A few minutes later, we stopped in some forest. Klaus got out first, waiting for me to follow him. Hesitantly, I opened the door and walked over to him, immediately grabbing his hand. It was far too dark for hiking. At least if I wanted to get home in one piece without any tripping. The hybrid smiled softly, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. He moved confidently through the forest, guiding me along the forest path until we came to a cliff.

Still holding his hand, I walked to the edge, staring at the landscape before us. Not far away we could see a tiny waterfall, from which a river flowed further, stretching through the hills, valleys, and other elevations of the forest. But the most charming of all was the starlight reflecting in the fast current of the river and the sound of fir trees accompanied by the falling water.

I turned to look at the hybrid standing next to me.

Did I mention he laid a blanket, strewn rose petals, and lit several candles? No? So he did. How could I get back to my playful, mischievous mood after something like that?

"So… do you like it?" he asked uncertainly as I stared at him silently for a long time. Did I like it? I loved it.

"Yes. I like it." I replied instead, smiling shyly at him.

He led me to a blanket and took a rectangular box from his pocket, which he handed over to me after a moment's hesitation. I felt his expectant gaze on me as I unwound the bow. Before opening the box, I cast a fleeting glance at my companion. I've never seen him both so excited and… full of fear at the same time.

I sighed as I saw a beautiful silver bracelet with a pendant of a wolf howling at a silver moon, circled by a small bat, and a lapis lazuli-studded crown.

After my first fascination with the starlight reflecting object wore off, I noticed the smallest of all notes attached to the top of the box.

Will you be my valentine (and my queen)?

"Oh Klaus, I... it's..." The worry line on Klaus' forehead began to deepen as he began to assume I wanted to reject his cute confession.

"It's okay, love. I should have known it was too much. You don't have to say yes or anything. We'd best forget all about it. I will drive you back home if that's what you…" I shut him up by taking his face and putting his lips on mine.

I started to passionately kiss the paralyzed and shocked vampire. It took him a few minutes to realize what I was doing. He kissed me back and pulled me to him, so I was sitting on his lap. I smiled at the hybrid's grip, running my hand through his curly, velvety hair. We broke apart when I was completely out of breath. Breathing heavily, I smiled at the equally disheveled man.

"Well… I guess the answer is yes, then."

"Yes. I'll be your stupid valentine. But it'll take you a few more dates before you can call me your queen." I replied with a smile, tangling my hands in his hair.

"I can work with that." he whispered, never taking his eyes off mine. I cleared my throat awkwardly, unaccustomed to so much affection being shown toward me. I shifted my flustered gaze and started playing with his hair.

"Good. Now, tell me about the constellations."

"Isn't that too tacky by your standards?" he inquired, cupping my chin with one hand to refocus my attention on him. 

"Yes, but I already do things I usually don't. We might as well continue to fulfill all the points of these romantic comedies."

"And what changed your mind?"

"I just have good company." he smiled and kissed my forehead, stroking my hair.

Klaus pulled me closer so I could lean against his chest. Out of nowhere, he pulled out a basket full of cookies, chocolates, and other sweets, along with a bottle of red wine. I turned slightly to look at his face as he held me tight in his arms and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Well. Let's just say I wanted to keep it as a consolation if you don't take my confession well and run away screaming from me."

"Selfish man." I snorted, reaching for the candy bar. It took all my strength to keep from laughing at the hybrid. The vampire, however, was too attentive and noticed my amused smirk.

"Try telling that to my siblings, and I'll lock you in my room and never let you out."

"You should know better than to threaten me with a good time." I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and went back to eating the sweets.

He sighed in shock at my seductive suggestion. After a moment, he rested his chin on my shoulder and pulled me closer to him.

"So? Was it worth leaving home?" he whispered in my ear, planting a few kisses. My cheeks warmed slightly. Even without seeing his face, I could tell he was smiling goofily now, very pleased with my reaction. I turned to him, meeting his loving gaze.

Definitely.

"Possible. But you'll have to convince me a little more to be completely sure." he smiled teasingly. I could see the mischief in his eyes before he started tickling my stomach.

I screamed as I tried to get out of his strong grip. During my (unsuccessful) struggle, I knocked us to the ground, landing on my back with Klaus on top of me. With his new position, his teasing movements intensified, making me gasp with laughter.

"Okay, you won! You won!" I screamed between fits of laughter. "It was worth it."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." I said, pulling him into (one of many) kisses tonight.

If it involves being his queen, I think it only takes him an hour to convince me… maybe even less.

After all, it was a very good day.

[real-total-drama-takes]

Long, kind of rambley message for the fandom incoming:

Hey. I'm Noodle. You may know me as the creator of Kelsi Anderson and possibly kicking off the still-ongoing transfem Cody renaissance, such as it is.

I'm sorry.

Kelsi started off as a joke. A shitpost that took a life of its own. I never anticipated fanart, making friends, or any of this. Quite frankly, the TD fandom scares me and the thought of being a minor celebrity in it is terrifying. But I guess it's better to be known as the person behind Kelsi than for the warrant out for my arrest /j

But seriously. I may be sorry it got out of hand, but I don't regret it. There's a lot of super talented people that I've been able to meet because of this fic. (I've also been exposed to so much needless drama, but idk what I expected from a fandom with drama in its name. If some of you knew my IRL age though you'd cancel me faster than Julia)

I get not liking Cody. I get not liking Kelsi, or Cassidy, or Jody or Maddy or any of the other wonderful fem!Codies I'm forgetting the name of right now. But don't be dicks about it.

If you want to talk about Kelsi, message me. If you want to send me anon hate, do it. I don't care. But just let people have fun and don't put too much stock in silly headcanons.

Also, Wayne should win season 2. Good night

.

[kaontic]

*SKYBOUND DUMP INCOMING*

Oh look, it’s Megs’ little show ponies

Update: And Powerglide and Kickback

(Disclaimer: Or at least I think these Cybertronians are them, but we’ll see if that’s true in time)

. I mean that’s Nova Storm for sure you guys (with Kickback nearby)

. Acid Storm

. Glad they (probably) didn’t forget about Ion Storm too this time yes yes very good Skybound 👏

. They also look like Misfire in jet mode so that's cool

. I didn’t recognize Powerglide at first since I haven’t gotten to Season 2 of G1 yet

. They could all just be a reference tho and I'm lookin' too deep into this, but IF NOT-

. Skybound, please. PLLLLLLLLLEEEEAAAAAASSSE. If ANY of them show up later-PLEASE do not write them off as soon as they do. I'm seeing potential here, especially in terms of, um, "visuals", if you know what I mean, for the Rainmakers specifically

. Take the Rainmakers' powers to the next level and let them literally rain hell down on their enemies. Idc if they only do it once in the entirety of the run I just wanna see how it looks

. Let them remain strictly loyal to Megs to add extra drama (esp. with Astrotrain) and raise the stakes

. If you need to write some of them off, my first choice for who gets to live is Misfire (idk to provide some comic relief plus he’s a fan fav)

. Second choice is Nova, fr. What a badass. In IDW2 they were canonically indestructible and sliced Sentinel Prime in half

. Like think of how much of a problem Nova could be in particular for the Autobots (cuz I haven't seen Windcharger yet lol)

. Imagine if they suddenly sprung out of lava to grab someone and drag them down

. Or took a fusion cannon blast to the face like it was a nice breeze

. I'm biased ok they're literally my profile (Nova does not smile often, but Reflector says thanks g for the geunine effort)

. There, I fixed it

. But hey, those were just some ideas

[mysticinsightstarot]

hi,

what's next in my life ?

✨💌 What’s Next in Your Life? A Quirky Tarot Reading 💌✨

Hello, cosmic wanderer! Welcome to your ✨super juicy✨ tarot reading! Your cards have spilled some TEA about what’s next in your life, and let me tell you—it’s giving drama, transformation, and blessings! Let’s dive in with lots of sprinkles, emojis, and some fabulous insights. Don’t forget to leave feedback because your vibes fuel my magic! 🌟🦄

🌿 Card 1: The Present Energy

3 of Pentacles + Page of Cups + 5 of Pentacles Oof, babes, you're in your building era right now! 👷‍♀️✨ Collaborations are key (think teamwork, like Taylor Swift’s squad goals), but you might be feeling a little left out in the cold (5 of Pentacles vibes 😔). However, the Page of Cups is here with a little creative nudge. 🐟🎨 Someone might slide into your DMs—or your heart—bringing a message of hope. Stay open, even if things feel shaky rn!

🌟 Card 2: The Hidden Influences

9 of Cups + 5 of Wands You’re secretly manifesting your dream life, like, HELLO! 💫✨ But plot twist: inner (or outer) competition is stirring the pot. 🥵🔥 Whether it's self-doubt or people trying to rain on your parade, know this: your wishes are valid, and you’ve got this! Just keep your eyes on the prize, bb. 💪✨

🚨 Card 3: The Challenge Ahead

Page of Wands + Knight of Swords + The Tower Buckle up, buttercup—it’s giving chaotic new beginnings! 💨⚡ A bold idea or sudden news will catapult you into action (Page of Wands 🔥), but the Knight of Swords warns you not to rush headfirst without a plan. AND THEN, the Tower? Whew. 🏚️ Things might fall apart before they fall into place, but trust—it’s all part of the glow-up. 🌈✨

🍀 Card 4: The Opportunities

9 of Wands + 6 of Swords + Ace of Pentacles + 2 of Cups ✨Resilience is sexy, and you’re about to see why! The 9 of Wands says you’ve been through it, but you’re moving to calmer waters (6 of Swords ����). New opportunities (Ace of Pentacles 💎) will bloom, bringing abundance and a possible soulmate connection (2 of Cups 💞). Stay open, because this feels destiny level.

😴 Card 5: The Near Future

4 of Cups Babes, are you bored or just too chill? 🤔 The universe is handing you something ✨chef’s kiss✨, but you might be too caught up in "meh" vibes to notice. Open your eyes, bb, because this blessing is MAJOR! 🌟

🏡 Card 6: The Long-Term Outcome

10 of Cups + 4 of Pentacles OKAY, happily ever after ALERT! 💖💍 Your long-term path screams fulfillment—family, love, stability (10 of Cups 🌈), BUT, don’t let scarcity vibes (4 of Pentacles 💰) block your flow. Loosen up and trust the process, bb! You’re GOLD. ✨

🎀 Card 7: Advice from the Universe

6 of Cups + Queen of Pentacles The universe says: reconnect with your inner child! 🛝✨ Do things that light you up (hello, finger painting? 🖌️✨). Also, step into your QUEEN energy—abundance is all around you. You’re a boss, and it’s time to own it. 👑💐

💸 Card 8: Emotional Landscape

6 of Pentacles Give and take, babes! 💌 The energy you put out is what you’ll receive. Stay balanced in relationships—don’t let people drain your vibe. 💖

💼 Card 9: Career/Financial Prospects

Wheel of Fortune + Emperor + Hierophant + High Priestess Um, EXCUSE ME?! Your career is about to blow up in a fated way! 🔥✨ You’re stepping into leadership energy (Emperor vibes 🦁), aligned with tradition and wisdom (Hierophant 🔮), but also rocking your intuition (High Priestess 🌙). MAJOR glow-up incoming. 🌟

🌌 Card 10: Spiritual Evolution

Empress + 2 of Pentacles Honey, you’re birthing a whole new YOU! 🌺 The Empress is saying, “Create, nurture, and love yourself.” But balance is key (2 of Pentacles). Prioritize wisely—don’t stretch yourself too thin, bb. 💖✨

💖 Bottom of the Deck Energy: 4 of Wands Soulmate vibes? Twin flames? Celebration? 🥂✨ Your foundation is solid AF, and you’re moving toward stability, joy, and possibly even MARRIAGE vibes?! Yesss, manifest it!

🌈 Final Thoughts Babes, this reading SCREAMS transformation and blessings. Sure, there’s a bit of chaos on the horizon, but you’re stepping into a beautiful, aligned, and abundant phase of life. Stay grounded, trust the process, and remember—you’re magic.

🌸✨ Let me know how this resonates, bb! Your feedback helps me sprinkle more magic into these readings. Love & light! 💖✨

[hellofwinnie]

OKAY BUT IT'S LONG

(also spoiler-free for the Downhill fic)

Let's goooo

Childhood

- Jack carries a Siren "gene", so he's not a siren but Angel got it from to him (my older post about it).

- Tantalus was under oppressive rule so he grew up with questionable beliefs, explained below.

- moved to Pandora around 8y.o. with grandma (she worked in the Dahl mines).

- as a kid dreamed of working in the mining business, like his dad.

- has one (1) memory of dad holding him and rocking to sleep (unless it's a fabrication of his mind).

- has pictures and videos of the parents playing with toddler Jack, they look normal and happy. Jack keeps them in a secret place and *very* rarely replays them because VHS/photos tend to wear out.

- Vaughn is his only trusted therapist so they figured he has exactly 9 good childhood memories. He is scared to replay them in his head too and "wear them out" by forgetting.

- he was 6 y.o. when grandma demanded to have shared house responsibilities and the punishments started to get harsher.

- dropped out after middle school bc fuck this boring shit (and bullying).

- started to run away regularly from grandma's house bc of abuse at the age of 10.

- lived with a street gang with other Pandora kids like him.

- was the youngest in the gang so they protected baby-John so it was safer then at home.

- he made toys and other stuff from scraps. He discovered programming.

- by the time he turned 17, the times on Pandora changed and their gang didn't have many new young incomers, so he didn't get a chance to be a big brother.

- there he also met his first love (gay) they didn't kiss or anything so he didn't realize what it was until he was like 35 💀 talk about denial.

- their con/stealing gang shifted to serious shit with a real interplanetary mafia and a drug lord rivelry.

- he had to get out of the gang because he was one of the oldest and his life was in danger as he would be held responsible.

- He comes up with a new plan and starts to con solo. He targets the recent rich families immigrating to expand/develop stuff on Pandora.

- He pretends to be one of them rich kids and then steals something small but it's enough to survive.

- Here he gets the Handsome Jack nickname and gets famous in those circles (for stuff he lied about ofc but everyone was impressed).

- that how she met his future wife, he was stealing from Jacobs' mansion and some gal of his age found it hilarious (it was her house btw).

- she seemed different from all those delusional idiots, so she helped Jack to steal bigger and with less consequences for the sake of drama.

- Jack went through hell to gain a right to marry a Jacobs bc she had an arranged marriage waiting for her.

- married her around 20 y.o. and got rid of his gang problems.

- Angel was born a year later. Among other reasons it was a way to gain independence from his wife's family bc they treated her like shit personally and financially (mostly for sexist reasons).

- went to a culinary school for "prestige" and "education" but dropped out a year later.

- he made his buddy-chef with QuiRKy culinary interests to take his private restaurant on Helios later. He doesn't like his food personally but it's prestigious and educational for the Hyperion management.

- his wife was an influential businesswoman and a big figure in Pandora's development under the second Atlas rule (not affiliated with Atlas).

- for the next 8 years he managed to get into Hyperion and after a big return he got a solid career to build.

- Mortimer punched Jack at the wife's funeral, it was the most brave thing Jack ever seen him to do.

- lived with Angel on Pandora, had to sell their house.

- got a permanent intrusion/kidnapping paranoia.

- married his next girlfriend so the teen daughter has a mother figure among other love reasons.

- Angel did a nasty thing where she framed both of them (hated that dad remarried so soon?).

- they divorced about a year later.

- after dating and breaking up with Moxxi had a massive sexuality crisis (at the age 35, as promised).

- figured he's queer, and went to conversion therapy, because he grew up in antiqueer times on Tantalus and it felt reasonable to him.

- the CT base was mostly filled with teens and young adults who was forced to be there and the "doctors" there couldn't explain him their sconific or even spiritual methods.

- he left a week later and A: rolled out an official ban for CT on Hyperion lands on Pandora.

- B: called his trusty escort company and booked ALL men for months ahead. That's how he figured out he's a switch (*bi anthem starts playing*).

- was on coke most of his life but it didn't cause any problems or so he beliefs.

- after suddenly getting rich (now dating Nisha) spiraled down in codependency with her on opioids. He almost died.

- Angel lived on Helios all this time and knew she was growing up to be the next Hyperion president.

- she met Gaige online™

- at 21 y.o. moved to Bunker and started to work with Jack on the Vaults Key plan.

- At the same time Jack gifted her Buttstalion so she's not so lonely in the chambers.

- Nisha is an abuser in all senses in my books, but no hate to the canon Nisha.

- this relationship made him hesitant to go with BDSM dynamics (he belived it was a dynamic alright 💀).

- the addiction and Nisha destroyed his already strained connection with Angel -- she could spy using Siren powers and know exactly what's happening. Which was: neglecting her and destroying himself (he has issues okay).

- Angel tried to reason and gain independence, refusing to work on the Vault Key research anymore.

- Jack didn't listen bc all he cared about was heroin atm.

- sent Nisha away to rule Lynchwood and got into rehab to stay alive.

- he was too slow to repair relationships with Angel and she already got Crimson Raiders for friends planning to only hurt (for now) Jack.

- when B2 shit rolled down she was already too deep in misery + Eridium altered her physically and mentally in a way she didn't like.

- Nisha dies in Lynchwwod so it's also not good even though it's a relief.

- after Angel's passing, Jack went hard on old addictions.

- in his 48282th rehub he managed went sober for a record amount of time (14 months?), restated smoking tho.

- A couple of years passed and he decided to "OBJECTIVELY" off himself.

- Vaughn managed to help him with making a list of a desired partner's traits (not the best strategy but it helped to postpone the decision).

- massive trust issues and the list left only one option for Jack -- Timothy.

Tim and Jackothy AU.

- in 20 years they build some trust, professional and even platonic.

- Jack was too deep in his own head about the problems that prevent him to be normal but unconsciously gave signs of unusual attention to Tim.

- Tim straight up asked him out and everyone (Jack) panicked.

- eventually, he agreed tho haha

- they didn't date-date at first but for sure became buddies and it was enough to get Jack's mind off grim stuff in his life.

- Tim had an education in business from Hyperion uni and then got his acting MA in a small school.

- He couldn't find a job for either until he mass-applied to Hyperion and got into the double program.

- back then Jack wasn't very nice to anyone, but he had some weird obsession to subtly degrade Tim in particular.

- twenty years later he already was his only body double who not only stayed loyal but did a great job in security.

- they def had a history of hooking up but it was all played down as a mistake/situationship... Not like Tim had a choice to just stop seeing his boss every day.

- over the years of service, Tim got promoted and started working with Jack closely.

- he's from a privileged middle-class family that fell apart when he was 14 (divorce and alcoholism).

- got his red hair from the mom.

- Mother also was a retro pop star with 1-2 popular hits that are still known.

- after Tim "died" she was left alone, so she remarried and now Tim has a half-sister who is also into acting.

- Tim tends to cure stress by drinking but nothing too bad (yet).

- he had a little sister who passed away early, and this triggered a chain of events where his grandma (dad's mom) died, and then his mom cheated on dad, hence the divorce. Tim used to see his father until he moved away to another planet (and then Tim got into Hyperion at the age of 25).

- mother coped with alcohol so Tim was left to himself and tried to study well and get a good education to help his family.

- EXCEPT capitalism lied and he got stuck with a loan of $150 000 yipieee!

Misc.

- had an inside joke calling Angel an angle (sharp or dull)

- has a chronic skin condition where his scars are not healing fully so he can't have most surgeries, including the cosmetic ones.

- hates taking off his shirt. The forearms and neck are pretty much the only places where he doesn't have visible scars.

- has 13 big scars in total + one from that bullet he got shot in TPS.

- all scars tend to inflame and bring pain (medical reasons undefined, I say it's somatic).

- has a scar on the inner thigh, looks like smb wanted to decock him. Hint: she had a buzzaxe.

Irl misc for my writing

- Jack was born in 1966 which makes him an early Gen X, I'm sorry for my boomer jokes.

- Tim is 9 years younger, same gen, different flavor.

- Moxxi is a boomer I'm telling ya. She's slightly older then Jack.

There's probably more but that's all I could remeber for now 👀

[occamsrazor8789483]

Credo

Rules for Living

by David Matthew Ramby

Avoid Victim Mentality.  Life is not fair.  It's not personal.  Life is not fair to anyone.  Everyone has bad days and good days and everything in between.  Terrible things happen to everyone.  When terrible things happen, how derailed do you want to get?   

Be in the now.  Be Present.  The past is dead, and the future is imaginary.  The past can only control you if you allow it to.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life. 

Anicca – Everything is temporary.  This too shall pass.  Impermanence of all things is one the three marks of existence.  The other three marks of existence are Dukkha and Anatta. Focus only on what directly needs to be focused on.  Annica is the Pali word for “impermanence.”  Anicca.  Impermanence of all things.   Adaptability to constant changes in the environment.  Welcome change.  Do not fear change, as that is stupid because change is inevitable. 

There are no problems.  There are only situations/issues that you can either deal with now or set aside until you can deal with them.  Problems exist in time.  Eliminate time, eliminate problems.  The Mind, the Pain-Body, the ego…they want to turn situations/issues into Problems and Drama.  Don’t fall for their tricks.  What is a problem?  The word “problem” has a negative connotation.  Call things situations.  “We have a situation.”  Or “We have an issue.”  

Is the juice worth the squeeze?  Usually not.  Don’t waste time/energy/money on things that aren’t worth it.  Is it worth the time/energy to do it?  This is something that you will have to do every day.  It will come up several times a day.  Learn to let it go.  Your mind may want to say something to someone about some issue, but rarely is it actually worth the bother.  It often actually makes things worse with that person.  

Thoughts are just thoughts.  Thoughts can lead to emotions.  Emotions can lead to behaviors.  Try to put a stop sign in between thoughts and emotions and behaviors.  This is a skill that can be exercised.  Over time it gets easier to realize that thoughts just pop into your head.  It doesn’t mean that those thoughts are reality.  Just because a thought pops into existence in your head, that doesn’t mean that thought has any truth to it.  So why get emotional over thoughts that are not true?  Why act on thoughts/emotions that are no based in reality?  This will only add to pain and suffering. 

Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Most things are not worth your time or energy.  For anything to be in the category “Worry About” if must have all the following:

Directly affect me in a way that could affect my income or family

Don’t value others’ opinions above your own.  Ask yourself, “who is this person who has just criticized me?”  Who is this person and are they qualified to even know what they are talking about?”

Don’t be so reachable.  Make yourself unavailable.  Napoleon wouldn’t open his mail for 3 weeks.  Why?  Because most things resolve themselves after a few weeks.  This is a good approach to minimize drama in your life.  Don’t be reactionary to other people’s bad behavior or comments.  It is their pain-body simply trying to wake up your dormant pain-body.  

Listen to people – Listening to people is very important.  Trying to hear what they are actually asking for is important to minimize drama.  What do people really want?  Usually, they want someone to hear them out.  Then, they want someone to actually do something for them.  This is often not necessarily good for both parties.  

Be flexible

Be open minded.  Don’t be judgmental

Let go of grudges.  Forgive and forget.  Holding onto anger is poisoning yourself.  Anger is emotional poison.  Holding onto anger is like holding onto a burning hot rock.  

Don’t be too critical of others or yourself.  Take it easy.  

Take care of yourself.  Take care of physical, emotional wellbeing, and personal interests. 

Apologize when you should.  Let sleeping dogs lie when you should.  Have wisdom to know the difference.  

Be empathetic and understanding - Everyone is going through something. Try to be understanding of a person's situation.

Work on personal growth - Never stop growing and learning. Life is a lifelong journey of personal growth.

Take life one day at a time.  Sometimes life can make you feel absolutely terrible.  

[willel]

I know you are not fond of romances on the show and honestly I consider it to be one of the weakests aspects of the series. I disliked jopper in s3 and i didnt like them that much bc of it in s4. I actuslly disliked hopper in s3. Like as a character... it was just not it. Jonathan and Nancy were so bad in s3. 0 understanding 0 actual resolution. I feel like some characters staying single and reducing romance drama would improve a lot of things.

I didn't like Hopper much in season 3 either, nor how they wrote Joyce and Hopper interacting. But I am extremely stubborn and willingly pretend he wasn't being a butthead for a good bit of season 3. It hasn't affected my liking of Jopper.

Similar situation for Jancy, though it wasn't nearly as bad as Jopper. The relationship issues isn't what really bothered me, it was how they handled Jonathan's part in it.

I think it totally makes sense for them to have a blow up in the car. Nancy as dealing with some serious sexism in the office, meanwhile Jonathan was keeping his head low because he's a wage slave. Both are serious societal issues and given their ages and different backgrounds, a butting of heads was bound of happen eventually.

They spent a considerable about of time helping the audience understand what Nancy was feeling and why. Her conversation with Karen was great and much needed. Karen hardly does anything with her kids lately.

But I'm upset and distressed that they didn't give Jonathan the same treatment. They did NOTHING to help the audience understand his perspective more at all. Most of the GA forget how down and out the Byers are and that Jonathan would sometimes secretly take jobs and shifts to help the family income.

They should've given Jonathan a scene where he also questions whether he was right to be so stubborn against Nancy's plan while sitting his house with bills stacked up. Or going downtown/near his mom's job and seeing the writing on the wall that his mom was about to lose her job so they would literally be out of income.

IT'S SO FRUSTRATING, WHY WON'T THEY WRITE THE OBVIOUS PLOT THREADS FOR JONATHAN

Anyway, the ship has already sailed for Jopper. They are 100% a thing and I just can't allow myself to let ooc writing taint my family feels.

I dunno how Jancy is going to be revolved, but I will say, to me, the writing has squandered it so much already, mostly because they keep squandering Jonathan's character.

More than anything, I just want them to write Jonathan.

[equusmaniac]

Ramble Incoming!⚠️

I'm usually not one to talk much about fandoms or franchises. I'm not even in all that many. Because, to me, they're too much like politics in regards to drama. (Yes, I said it). And I don't feel the need to deal with that. The most I find myself doing in fandoms is showing off my art, and swiftly going back to my corner.

But, I'mma open the can of worms that are my educated opinions. Thus, I might step on some toes. Just… don't take anything personally. Hahah, I'm not out to start beef with anyone. I'm just doing this for fun and to see what others think. I'm 100% up to having some friendly debates! So, feel free to Ask me if you want. :)

Today, Transformers is going to be my victim: I've been watching this fandom for a while… And boy, is it funny to watch y'all chase your own tails. Especially in regards to how y'all treat new content. (All fandoms with continuities do this, not just us).

People always complain that the new show/movie isn't good because and-I-quote. "It's not loyal to the original!"

Of course, creators can't copy-paste the old stuff. With new people, things will change. And that's okay.

Yes, some things—such as the themes and characters' cores, extra—should stay similar. Y'all forget that the new stuff is basically just professional fanfiction that's at this rate. *cough* And that G1 was a slapstick comedy, but I digress. But, give it 10 years, people like the older stuff that… for lack of a better term, everyone hated. It's suddenly much better compared to the new releases.

With that said, I can't really give my opinions on All Spark or Rise Of The Beasts. I haven't seen them yet. So I don’t feel very comfortable talking about them without context.

But what I can give my opinions on are the characters. Specifically how the fandom treats them.

I'm going to use Optimus Prime (the strong one) and Bumblebee (the golden child) as my main examples here.

Starting with the one and only leader of the Autobots:

One of the most common things I see people comment on is. "Optimus is too [insert reason]!" Then go on some tangent. (Which is normally valid, no hate). And the most common statement is that he's 'too' violent… but let me break it to ya… he's not. He deserves to be darker.

Now, hear me out!

This trend started with Bayverse, which yes, I'm not saying those movies are perfect or the best out there. A better part of the writing sucked! (I don't blame them for it, writers kept and still are going on strike). But… they're not as bad as most fans painted them to be. So let me play the Devil's advocate here, please.

The Optimus in the blockbuster films was brutal, yes. But that's not all he was.

Out of all the Primes in most of the movies and shows (I'm not including the IDW comics, I haven't read them yet), he is the most traumatized. Don't believe me? Just think about it.

He not only had what reality he knew torn out from underneath him once, but twi—wait no… three times! Once with the fall of Cybertron (his home), second with Sentinel's betrayal (his father figure), and third with humanity (a race he swore to protect). He has had it rough! Geez…

Not only did he already have very poor coping skills from the beginning. And what support system he did have ended up getting killed, for gosh sake. And now all he has left is Bumblebee and… a load of jerks. I would talk more about this but, Transformers and support systems are a completely different ramble for another time.

No wonder he's mad! I would be too.

Optimus is very obviously grasping at straws here. Yet he still tries his best with the resources he's given. Guys… he tried to give Cade relatable reassurance about his parenting struggles! And that was after humanity started to hunt him down and all the nonsense that ensued afterward.

Another thing that is implied in the movies—that much like Bumblebee—he was a CHILD SOLDIER. (Most of them were if you look at it). He obviously started fighting quite young. So it makes sense, that first and foremost as a soldier he would learn the best and fastest ways to defeat his enemies. Regardless of whether it was seen as brutal or dirty. He would get versed in those techniques after thousands of years of fighting. He gets the job done, that's all that matters.

Y'all also forget that most of the time his opponents were three-plus heads taller than him… ya do what ya gotta keep your loved ones safe, folks.

I love the fact that he has character flaws.

But, he's the strong one, the example child. So the fandom has hung a special set of standards that he must uphold.

Which brings me to Bumblebee, the golden child. Y'all complain to High Heaven about Bayverse. But the Bumblebee movie? Not a peep.

Do NOT get me wrong folks. I adore the Bumblebee movie (and Bee as a character) as much as anyone! But, y'all completely overlooked the fact that… It has some of the most brutal fights in the franchise. Are y'all going to really ignore the fact that Bee shredded Dropkick with a chain? That is on par with how Bayverse Starscream died. Which was just a slower version of Dropkick's death. Speaking of whom, Optimus didn't kill him. N.E.S.T did. And it's by far the most violent death in the blockbuster films. Along with poor Ravage (R.I.P) who… surprise, surprise! Bumblebee killed. Almost no one talks about that…

*Thinks for a moment* Jazz too. Megatron killed him. And no one really commented on how brutal that was either, because it was expected. It's Megatron, he's been shown to be brutal for ages. Ol’ Bucket Head is also very violent in the blockbuster films, big whoop. What am I getting at here? So it makes sense that Prime and everyone else has to keep up with him. I'm afraid G1's 'carefree' passive Optimus wasn't very realistic when you look at the facts of things…

If people are going to talk about how out of character Optimus taking a Decepticon head off is. What about Ironhide? Hound? Bumblebee? He's ripped bots spines out! That is definitely out of character for the OG Bee. Please, keep them all to the same realistic standards!

Which brings me to my next point.

Things tend to be heavily rooted in bias. And with continuities like Transformers, that bias is nostalgia. None of the shows, movies, or comics are going to be perfect, or ever have been perfect. Not only is the notion of perfection impossible but… It's HASBRO. Why do you expect so much from them? They can’t keep jack-squat consistent for anything they own. We all know they have a nasty habit of dropping the coolest lore and never talking about it again… this franchise deserves so much better. It deserves to be shown exactly as it is; a story about a civil war. *sigh* Such a shame.

Anywho… I should probably stop talking now. XD, This is three Google Docs pages long. So apologies! I hope my thoughts (if you made it this far) were interesting at least. I don't know if I made the best of points but, oh well…

Till we meet again, Shalom,

-TonnerreBlanc⚡

[yooniesim]

i might ramble a bit here, i hope you dont mind, and its ok if you decide to delete this ask instead of posting it :)

i've found your content quite recently, and i really enjoy your CC! it has added a very nice touch to my game, especially your teeth sets, and ig i just wanted to let you know that! finding out that you were one of the rare CC creators who keep their stuff free was a really pleasant surprise

i honestly never understood the paywall thing. modding was never supposed to be an income source. coming from other modding communities back to ts4 after taking a break from the game is always such a jarring experience. i swear no other community has anything like this going on, i dont know how ppl can look at this and think it's normal, or even go out of their way to defend it

this community is honestly so stressful, and i'm not even up to date with any drama bc i stay as far away from that side of the community as possible... ig it's just. very refreshing to see someone speak out abt it from time to time

i hope you have an excellent day! don't forget to hydrate, it's important! sorry for rambling on your inbox, i had some scattered thoughts and no one to talk to abt them

Hi nonny! Thank you for the kind words 💜 I'm glad you enjoy my cc, and no worries at all about rambling- we all need to now and again! (I especially know this well lol)

I agree with what you said about paywalling and how stressful this community is. Remember to take care of yourself too, nonny! When it gets a little too much, I just log off to play my game or spend time with my family. And cuddle with my cat! That really makes me feel better haha.

(And sometimes these days I go and play other modded games like stardew, skyrim, and fallout... makes me feel normal about the whole anti-monetization thing again ajdhkfh)

Feel free to come back and chat anytime, and I hope you're having a good day today~

[maryellencarter]

So I've been tussling with how to write this post for some time now.

Uh, the background good news first? I appear to have worked almost an entire pay period and also March is a three paycheck month, so I'm making some very solid progress on getting caught up on my bills, and it seems like this might even continue. I know I tend to be more optimistic than is usually warranted, but 70 hours in my time clock when working all my scheduled hours would put me at 72 is pretty damn impressive, especially compared to how I've been doing for a really long time.

So then I was poking around and trying to figure out what one even does with disposable income. I've been going to a knitting group at a local yarn shop recently (I forget if I mentioned here but a friend was able to get me some KN95 masks and some helpful information about transmission rates so I can socialize safely again! This is probably a big factor in me being less depressed and more worky again also), but I don't really enjoy owning yarn I don't have A Plan for, so right now I've got a cable sweater for Leia, a fancy silk lace scarf, a puffy hexagon blanket, and a crochet baby blanket going, and I just really don't want any more yarn until I finish with one or two of these projects.

Recently, though, as y'all have probably seen, there was an announcement going around about the American Girl doll brand announcing a pair of 1999-themed Historical Character dolls. Because Tumblr is the "we are getting old" website at this point, there were Noises. (They have a Pizza Hut "Book-It" reading program playset. I have never been smacked in the face with nostalgia so hard in my entire life.)

As some of y'all may also remember, I used to have a whole collection of American Girl dolls and furniture and whatnot, because I was trying to do the whole "believe you can be safe and stable now and have the things you were never allowed to have as a kid" thing with a reasonable part of the money I'd inherited from my then recently deceased grandmother (a lovely human being, and by extreme genetic good luck the relative I take after physically, so that I don't have to deal with the whole "growing up to look exactly like my abuser" thing that some people have to suffer through). Then the 2016 election happened, I had a horrible depressive spiral, was unable to work, sold 90% of my collection to pay the rent, eventually became homeless anyway, and lost the other 10% by trusting the wrong person to keep my stuff safe when I had no other options.

ANYWAY! Not the point. The point is that I started poking my nose back into the American Girl website, and then the wiki in order to try to figure out what all I'd missed, and I'm kind of being like "hey, I could hypothetically afford some of this stuff again now".

(I personally find it hilarious that the brand is trying to walk a line between "Addressing trans and nonbinary identities in our helpful book on puberty for preteens? Sure, we'll do that, we're progressive! Also did you say Harry Potter collaboration? That's a license to basically print money from customers who are nostalgic for the same era we were most popular in, let's do this", which is exactly the kind of seesawing I expect from Disney -- who owns American Girl via Mattel.)

So *anyway*, and this is the part of this post I'm really struggling with: I also used to be heavily involved in the part of the American Girl adult collectors fandom that describes itself as "queer-friendly and socially conscious". That part of the fandom runs the wiki (which is an extremely useful and well-constructed resource). I don't know who-all from those days may still follow me on Tumblr, and I'm actually not looking to cause drama, just sort of thinking out loud as I so often do on the tunglrs, but after five years away from the fandom and having poked my nose back in, I'm running into a royal shitton of memories (and a little new information) that's making me go "Holy fuck, this place was *incredibly* toxic, no wonder I got utterly burned out on trying to interact with the dolls and items the way they demanded everybody should. No wonder I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells to even say anything or post a picture related to this fandom."

So. Let's be real. I'm saying "the way they demanded". It's one person, backed up by other mods who don't create their own separate demands. This particular section of the fandom is ruled with an iron fist by one self-described Angry Black Woman who... the very kindest way I can find to describe it is, she's a walking talking demonstration of how you cannot create a single safe space that's safe for everyone. I made a post several years ago that went a little bit viral, where I pointed out that being uncomfortable with a very verbally aggressive black authority figure can actually be because of the "very verbally aggressive authority figure" part, say if you're a survivor of emotional abuse *koff koff*, and doesn't have to mean you're "uncomfortable with black anger" Because You're Racist. That post was a direct reaction to multiple instances of seeing this person tell people "you're pushing back against me being verbally abusive, that's a racist action on your part".

That's the kindest, most nonconfrontational way I can come up with to talk about the situation. Less tactfully, after going to look over the forum rules for this subsection of the fandom -- hoping to realize I'd just been an extremely sensitive tortellini at the time and they weren't that bad, because I know I was an extremely sensitive tortellini in other matters -- in actual fact, I've been reminded very loudly that these rules are a 13k essay on topics such as You Must Be Okay With Verbal/Emotional Abuse If It's Directed At You By People Of Color, All Cultures Of Color Are Closed Cultures Now (So Don't You Dare Put This Black Doll's Clothes On Any Other Doll), and the real kicker for me, Only Selected Queer Identities Are Suitable For Public Discussion (subsection We're Redefining Queerness To Exclude Polyamory, new since I was last here, with sub-subsection Oops We Didn't Mean To Exclude Asexuals Only Those Icky Cishets, and fun guessing game Are We Excluding Aromantics Or Did We Just Forget They Exist, Ask And See If You Get Banned).

I... genuinely didn't mean to go on that long. But this is exactly why I'm making this post. Because I have a *lot* of trauma from trying to figure out what's actually racist or offensive and what's not, while being in a community where anything the main mod doesn't like can suddenly be declared an offense against social justice, and if you ever step on her toes, you're likely to be relegated to the ranks of the damned (aka the white Christian mommybloggers who own more than six white dolls or less than 50% dolls of color). And as probably all of you know, I do a lot of thinking out loud about trauma. Which is a PROBLEM, because this person definitely still follows me here (I don't know who else from the fandom does), and Tumblr blocks don't keep people from seeing your posts, only interacting with them.

So. Uh. There's probably going to be... more of this. I'm making this post now because I'm almost done sewing a doll skirt, I want to show it off here, and I'm also having a really nasty anxiety attack over how this person is definitely going to metaphorically rip it to shreds in the dedicated forum thread for mocking homemade doll clothes (mostly from Etsy) that don't live up to her exacting standards of Historically Accurate Doll Costuming. (The skirt is gathered instead of using 1800s-style "cartridge pleats"! The horror!)

Yeah. So. Um. I guess... if you follow me from when I was last in AG doll fandom, here's where I stand, at least right now. I'm not going to name any names, but you likely know who I'm talking about. I'm not going to go after anybody or cause trouble on their blog, but I'm not going to pull any punches when I'm talking about the ways they and their policies have made me feel unsafe in the fandom. And I'm not going to follow their byzantine rules based on the concept that a single doll can only have one ethnicity and one backstory. A doll, in its essence, is a shapeshifter the way a character actor is a shapeshifter, and not all of us want to create 50+ fixed individual characters that can't wear each other's clothes.

If you can't live with any of that, feel free to go commiserate with each other. I'm not planning to go back to the forum, so don't worry that I'll see anything you say there. (I'm not even planning to publish the rules publicly, since they're not viewable when logged out, although they are a trip and a half to read without the context of the dramas that shaped them.)

If you're scared what will happen to your standing in the fandom if you like my posts or keep following me, though... maybe that's a place to start thinking.

[synonymroll648]

Whoops accidentally hit 600 words ah well these things happen. I have decided to snippet you with sophitz (angst? fluff? both??) enjoy :)

Sophie tapped her fingers against her laptop keyboard, trying to figure out the best way to phrase her conclusion. Gerard Way screaming through her headphones was not much helping, but she didn’t have the heart to shut them up. Her mind kept wandering back to Keefe and Fitz and the whole soulmate shenanigan.

She kind of wanted to cut her finger off and forget romance was even a thing. But alas, that would probably hurt, and she sort of liked romance. Just not all the drama that it happened to come with.

Fitz opened her door and stepped into her room. Sophie heard a vague hint of Marella’s voice, and she paused her music (sorry Gerard) and took off her headphones.

“You can’t just come in here,” Sophie said.

“I’ve been knocking for a while,” Fitz said. “Can I come in?”

“You already have,” Marella said. “Let me guess. You want to speak to Sophie alone.”

“If you don’t mind.”

“No one wants me,” she sighed dramatically. Sophie laughed.

“I’m sure your girlfriend wants you, go hang with her,” she said. Marella perked up.

“If I’m not back within an hour assume I’m sitting at her table for dinner,” Marella said, blowing them both a kiss and leaving. Fitz watched her go before turning back to Sophie.

“Before you say anything, do you know how to write a good conclusion?” she asked him.

“Yeah, I’ll give you pointers later.” Fitz sat down on Marella’s bed and looked at the ceiling behind Sophie. “Have you ever been in love?”

Sophie coughed. “Wow. Unexpected. Um. Why?”

He shrugged.

“Do you… think you might be in love with someone?”

Another shrug.

Sophie stared at him. He looked… quite sad. Like he sort of wanted to be anywhere but here. Whether “here” was Sophie’s room or the uni or the world in general.

“…is it Keefe?”

Fitz’s eyes flickered towards her in terror, but moved away again almost as quickly.

“Hey,” Sophie said quietly, standing up and moving closer to comfort him. Fitz’s right arm immediately shot upwards to shield his face, and his entire position adjusted, poised for an incoming attack.

Sophie stepped away immediately, holding up her arms as if in surrender. “Sorry, sorry—“

“Don’t be,” he said. “It’s not your fault—“

“—I don’t want to overstep—“

“—you’re fine, I just—“

“—I can give you some time alone—“

“No, stay.”

Sophie looked at the desperation in Fitz’s eyes.

“Please.”

Sophie nodded. “Do you want me to stay here or sit there or—“

“Here’s fine.”

Sophie sat on Marella’s bed and watched Fitz calm himself down. A barely-heard “thank you” passed his lips.

“You don’t have to talk,” she said quietly. “We can just… sit here. The wall looks especially nice this time of day.”

Fitz smiled, the beauty of his face dampened slightly from the tears leaking out of his closed eyes. He leaned back against the wall and started trying to regulate his breathing.

Sophie wanted to tell him. She and Fitz and Keefe had made that unspoken agreement to talk about the soulmate stuff with each other the moment anything of importance came up, and a fat crush on Fitz was probably something of importance. But this moment… it was perfect. She didn’t want to screw that up.

So she just laced their hands together, closed her eyes, and let her mind go.

dude!!! this is so !!!!!! sophie listening to mcr?? fitz and sophie stumbling super hard in trying to respect each other's boundaries but continuing to try anyway?? the fact that this isn't just sokeefitz but a fucking sokeefitz SOULMATE AU????? YESYESYESYESYES. LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS <333 if you ever post this please tag me omg

-

It’s a shame that Fitz is so pretty it’s tragic. Tragic for Keefe, because he’s the most stubborn person he knows, and yet the way that the muted skies of dawn and glow of the pool lights paint over Keefe’s resistance with adoration. Adoration for how he’d come out here at 5 in the morning to hang out with Keefe, adoration for how he’s clearly tired but trying not to show it, adoration for the curls that are a little more messed up than usual - like he’d just rolled out of bed. Adoration for-