#and let them see themselves represented so they feel less alone

[tleeaves]

you mentioned you're exploring neurodivergence: characters you relate to in a way that migghhhht be related to neurodivergence and why you relate to them and i'll do my thing that i do with the characters

Thank you so much for this ask, lovely <3 so, yes, I am exploring neurodivergence, specifically along the lines of ADHD and CPTSD, but if I've learned anything while learning about neurodivergence, it's that certain aspects of disorders can overlap or even be mistaken for something else. Eventually, I intend to consult a professional. In the meantime, I make do. And I do have characters I relate to, in ways that might be related to neurodivergence.

We'll mostly deal with TSC characters. So, this is sort of combined, but James Herondale and Matthew Fairchild. I don't self-identify with them the way I do more with Cordelia, but I relate to things about them that just aren't quite present in her that are important to me. It's a bit difficult to talk about all the ways in which I relate to both James and Matthew without sharing some incredibly vulnerable stuff that I generally just don't like to talk about, but I'll try and pick out the things that might be related to neurodivergence.

This is... so so so tricky, actually. I mean, how do I even pin-point traits and things? How do I do this without sounding way too random and vague and end up just talking about things that might have nothing to do with the topic at hand? Matthew's mannerisms feel like mine, theatrical, flourishing hand gestures to accompany speech, being able to switch topics quickly, feeling like my creativity is stifled, way too focused on my physical appearance though I personally do my best to hide it, my reasoning for keeping fit is half about self-defense and protecting my siblings and friends and half about looking good which always makes me think of the way Matthew would treat training, I love finding and wearing unique clothing items that may or may not cost way too much and so it's lucky I just find these treasures in thrift stores, I also have a tendency to Smile my way through social circles (there's a running joke that I can approach absolutely anyone and strike up a conversation. Anyone), I flirt with everyone because I like the thrill of it and it allows a sort of distance from vulnerability in a way I can't exactly explain, this guy has depression and I have depression, I am often the comedian of the group or at least the entertainer (my failed dates and weird social encounters make for exciting conversations), and because of that... I don't know. Matthew feels like he's almost always acting. The world is his stage. And I feel like that all the time. I don't even know who I'm performing for half the time. It gets a bit exhausting in some ways. I struggle to always be an entertainer, to be social, to respond to conversations properly and not get way too hurt over little comments people make that they probably don't realise were taken the wrong way. I am a massive overthinker and the only times I can escape that are in entirely different environments where I basically have permission to have no outside obligations and relax or when I have the rare alcoholic drink that forces my body and mind to lose tension. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), my health doesn't allow me to drink often if at all these days.

So, I get broody, and that reminds me of both Matthew and James. I can be a very deep brooder. Silent, stone-faced, almost apathetic. That reminds me more of James. I'm a passionate person with a temper that I've spent years getting under control, but it means I need a lot of outlets for all that emotion. Getting too stuck in my own head makes me restless and I have to move and push myself physically to make myself too exhausted to be so deep in my thoughts. It's interesting, to me, that I workout for defense and aesthetics, but that it's also a crutch at this point for letting out pent up energies. If I don't, I go into weird, fairly brief episodes of extra excitable and sort of reckless behaviour (more like reduced inhibition), which can be worsened at night compared to if it happens during the day. If you hadn't clued in yet: it was after I analysed James in the post I have pinned on my blog that I realised how much his night on the town in TMH reminded me of myself, which is why I couldn't think of a reason for a while of it being a symptom of anything but him being himself just as I know that's how I can act. His cause for that episode may be different to mine, but I definitely felt some similarities there. Even James' performance-like behaviour called to me, his Chesire grin, the absolute mischief--as much as I am charmed (it's James Herondale after all), I also have this feeling of "that's me! I get that!" And yet I can't even name or explain it.

Which in turn makes me think of Will Herondale. I very rarely talk about this because a) one of my friends is in love with him and I don't need her associating me with him or vice versa, b) an ex of mine has expressed an affinity with Will which makes me feel like I can't have it either since we relate to him in fairly different ways, c) everyone would just roll their eyes at me. Oh, and, you know, it's weird because he's the father of my fictional crush 😭 Anyway. There's something about Will growing up in the countryside of Wales (I come from the countryside of Victoria where I spent just over half my life so far on a farm) and caring so deeply for his sisters, being connected to his culture and missing parts of it, being loyal to Jem and, eventually, Tessa to a point it's almost self-destructive and yet feeling like he's stumbling in the dark when it comes to getting people to like him and to being a good friend to people, being a little shit in general, spinning tales (I've done this since I could even talk, to the point where I used to fabricate so many lies as a kid, simply because I could, and because so many other kids had experiences and things that I never did and I tried to lie about it to make up for it), and I just... in the weirdest way, I relate deeply to Will. I'm not even as attached to him as I am many other characters, but he's who I think of first most of the time when it comes to his rather silly behaviour, his excitability (after finding out the curse was not real), his solitary walks, going to rare bookstores and knowing a bunch of classics, having a tendency toward poetry but only for certain people and rather privately, the messiness of his room even. My best friend jokes that my room (whenever she sees it) is actually Jace Herondale's room because it's "monk-like and bare", but she doesn't see it when I have a burn out period and I'm too exhausted to even put clothes away or cups of tea, or do anything about my piles of books or pens and papers everywhere. I leave jewellery out too. It feels like a dragon's den, which is what I think of Will's room. I rarely make my bed properly. There's nothing necessarily stopping me, and in fact I feel happier and better when everything is neat and clean and organised, but I just can't bring myself to do anything for certain periods of time.

There's also Jem, but he and I understand each other on a chronic illness level, which to me has always been a separate sort of mental framework. But while he makes music to sort through his feelings, I listen to music to help me focus (I space out and my thoughts derail and I'm rather time blind and hours will pass unproductively and music (or urgency/deadlines) so far is the only thing that gets me honed in on an activity/work). That's also a little in connection to other things though where music is my crutch. I tend to dissociate from reality and it's an alarming and distressing feeling. I've never seen it done in fiction quite like how I experience it, so I tend to just write it myself (you can see bits of it with Lila in WBITHOM, such as outside The Devil Tavern going after Matthew and in the dark ballroom scene the night of the Institute dinner with the Lightwoods). I've reached out to others who experience it and even did research, and I actually cried with relief because I thought I was going crazy and losing my grip on everything, but I'm not alone and there is every chance I can end these episodes. Music helps me focus and sort of tie me to reality/myself/the present moment, so that I don't "slip", because when I do I forget myself and my surroundings and started wondering where I am and how I got there and who I am and why I'm here--it's like an existential crisis except you've forgotten literally everything and you're stunned and everything looks weird and the people are familiar yet unfamiliar and all the sounds are kind of loud but also muffled. This is often a dissociation that can occur due to trauma, though also unknown reasons and triggers, and sleep deprivation is thought to either cause or worsen it in some instances (and I have not had enough sleep in some time, let me tell you).

Edit: also, for the derealisation/depersonalisation above, I do relate to Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games who uses this technique where she mentally goes through a checklist of things that identify herself and reality, i.e. My name is [full name], I am 19, I live in Australia, I am half-Greek, I have such and such sisters and so and so brothers, I am here right now with my family/friends, we are doing [activity], I was born [birth date] etc. Recalling these facts and things helps reel everything in, but I am still left rather fragile feeling afterward.

So, there's kind of a lot going on in this noggin of mine. I don't fully understand a lot of it. Life can be scary and frustrating and downright exhausting. But I'm determined one day to finally seek some help. As I mentioned earlier, I do what I can on my own and with friends. Anyway, that's me on the nature of, well, me. Feels weird to talk about myself this way, even if it was tied with characters. Sorry for the wait, by the way, this was really tricky to try and write (and then I kept forgetting, whoops).

[8housevenus]

astrology observations

pisces suns always have this karma mindset. some people often confuse pisces suns as step-overs, but these people are always trying to spread hope and good into the world. they usually get all the good coming back to them in some way. for them it pays off to give unrequited favors, love, etc. makes sense since pisces rules over the 12th house and that usually represents our psyche and our association with present-past-future.

jupiter in 12th house people are truly blessed with navigating the unknown. these people take a shot in the dark and it turns out for the best.

wherever you have pluto in your chart is going to be the area in which will trigger you the most, also the sign can be revealing of how you need to go about these changes. ex; pluto in 12th in sagittarius. triggers will come from feeling trapped, over analyzing to the point of destruction, etc. it being in sagittarius can symbolize that the best way to get over those obstacles is to change environments (freedom), or full throttle all of your emotional investments (feel all your feels until you can fully let go).

the sign that rules over your 8th house is usually the sign you will resent the most.

partner sun as your moon and vice versa synastry is overrated. i notice the moon person will always be more secretive towards sun, and the sun person will always be more naive to moon. there can be a lot that lacks here and it isn’t a connection that remains consistent.

^ the most strongest bonds will always be when your partners sun is opposing your moon, vice versa. we call them sister signs for a reason because it is such an intimate connection. there’s a feeling of being understood from a whole new lens. these people can give you a real breakdown on who you are and can shape new experiences better than anyone else.

people with mars in water sign houses (12/8/4) usually have a lot of trauma they don’t share. mars can symbolize aggression upon us or onto others, and when it falls in these houses, there can be fears of opening up their wounds for the world to see them. a lot of their struggles are silent, and a lot of their fights are silent as well.

cancer/moon in 11th house is the friend that gets invited everywhere but chooses not to go because of minor inconveniences.

mercury dominant people are so comforting. they are so open about themselves that it makes you feel less alone about your situations. they have the best stories, the best conversation skills, and they are very charming with their expression.

it’s so easy to spot libra women. they have such harmonious features, delicate sense of style, always in company by others, and keep everything classy. they have the best composure and patience.

chiron aspecting mercury harshly can mean that somebody develops insecurities very quickly, or gets told that they need to change a lot about themselves. sometimes they can feel ashamed to speak or express themselves authentically.

saturn opposing/square jupiter people can struggle with letting life play out how it needs to. sometimes they forget that they must learn to let go of control and leave it up to chance. they are worried about things not working in their favor since they are used to needing to do a lot from scratch more than others.

capricorn moons usually turn pain into humor. many things do bother them more then they like to reveal, but they would rather make it seem under control.

the best looking men i know all have prominent libra in their big 3 and capricorn & pisces placements. men with libra placements are self assured and know they look good. men with capricorn placements are humble about their appearance and it is so important that they get the details of their aesthetic perfect. men with pisces have such a good taste in fashion and have a very adorable demeanor.

a sagittarius mercury favorite line is “im bout to crash out”.

gemini mars are the realest people i know. you would only ever call a gemini mars 2 faced if you did something to provoke them and they told you how it is. they are good at observing and thinking before acting. they are calculated and don’t take much convincing on anything, these people can make their minds up very fast and problem solve better than anyone else.

gemini and libra friendships are so unserious, in a good way though!! libra provides a safe space for the gemini, and the gemini allows libra to be themselves. it’s sweet.

2nd house/3rd house taurus/cancer, venus, mercury, neptune can make somebody a great singer or very alluring with their voices. if your mercury aspects saturn well or it is in your first house, you have a voice that people can listen to forever.

avoid synastry where the suns square each other, too much ego clashes and will bud heads on the tiniest things where there is always an ego attack.

[novaursa]

Caught by Fire (the meddling)

- Summary: A story where Daemon's daughter falls from the sky. And by some strange events orchestrated by fate, Otto catches you.

- Pairing: targ!reader/Otto Hightower

- Rating: Mature 16+

- Previous part: the gem

- Next part: the acceptance

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @oxymakestheworldgoround

The gardens of the Red Keep were alive with the soft sounds of birdsong and the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze. The sun shone brightly, its warm light filtering through the trees and casting dappled shadows across the cobblestone paths. You sat beneath a sprawling lemon tree with Princess Rhaenyra, a small table between you laden with a pitcher of chilled wine and two goblets. A faint floral scent hung in the air, mingling with the crisp citrus tang of the nearby blossoms.

Rhaenyra leaned back in her chair, swirling the wine in her goblet with a lazy hand. Her silver hair, always meticulously arranged for court, was looser now, the soft waves framing her face. She looked at you with a mischievous grin.

“So,” she began, her tone teasing, “how many lords have declared their undying love for you today?”

You laughed softly, setting your own goblet down on the table. “Only three. I must be losing my charm.”

“Only three?” Rhaenyra said, feigning shock. “You’ll have to try harder. I had at least five this morning alone.”

“Were they all trying to outdo each other in their flattery?” you asked, leaning forward slightly. “Or was it a competition to see who could bow the lowest?”

“Both,” Rhaenyra replied with a laugh. “One of them compared my eyes to the stars. I nearly told him he should spend less time stargazing and more time improving his swordsmanship.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “They’re all the same, aren’t they? Empty words, grand gestures, and nothing of substance.”

Rhaenyra sighed, leaning her elbow on the table and resting her chin in her hand. “Exactly. It’s as if they think we’re prizes to be won rather than people with minds of our own.”

“Perhaps they’re afraid of our minds,” you suggested, your tone light but with a trace of bitterness beneath it. “After all, a clever woman is far more dangerous than a sharp sword.”

Rhaenyra tilted her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. “True enough. But it’s exhausting, isn’t it? Having to listen to the same rehearsed speeches over and over again.”

“Exhausting doesn’t even begin to describe it,” you said, reaching for your goblet again. “I’ve started to wonder if any of them see us as more than Targaryens. Do they care about who we are, or just what we represent?”

Rhaenyra’s smile faded slightly, her expression turning thoughtful. “Sometimes I wonder the same. Do they want me, or do they want the Iron Throne? Do they want you, or do they want to tie themselves to our House?”

You nodded, the weight of her words settling over you. “It’s hard to tell, isn’t it? But I suppose that’s the game we’re meant to play. Smile, nod, let them think they’re winning us over.”

“For the sake of the realm,” Rhaenyra said, her tone laced with sarcasm.

“For the sake of the realm,” you echoed, your voice dry.

There was a pause as you both sipped your wine, the comfortable silence broken only by the gentle hum of the gardens. Finally, Rhaenyra spoke again, her voice quieter now.

“Have you ever considered what it would be like… to marry for love?” she asked, glancing at you from beneath her lashes.

You hesitated, your fingers tracing the rim of your goblet. “I have. But it feels like a dream, doesn’t it? Something we’re not allowed to have.”

Rhaenyra sighed, leaning back in her chair. “Sometimes I envy the smallfolk. They don’t have to deal with all this—alliances, politics, endless suitors. They can choose who they want, without worrying about the consequences.”

“Or they have no choice at all,” you pointed out gently. “Their lives are hardly free.”

“True,” Rhaenyra conceded, a faint smile returning to her lips. “But at least they’re spared the poetry.”

You laughed, raising your goblet in a mock toast. “To freedom from bad poetry.”

“To freedom from bad poetry,” Rhaenyra echoed, clinking her goblet against yours.

The two of you shared a laugh, the tension of the conversation easing for the moment. But as you sat together beneath the lemon tree, the weight of your shared reality lingered, unspoken yet undeniable. You both knew that your futures were not entirely your own, that the choices ahead would be dictated by the needs of the realm rather than the desires of your hearts.

Still, in that moment, it was enough to share the burden with someone who understood.

The Tower of the Hand was quiet, save for the soft crackle of the fire in the hearth. Otto Hightower sat at his desk, his hands clasped together tightly, staring down at an untouched goblet of wine. His usually immaculate desk was cluttered—scrolls askew, ink stains smudging the corners of his notes. The precise order he prided himself on was unraveling, much like his thoughts.

He exhaled deeply, pressing his fingertips to his temples. His mind raced, a chaotic storm of questions and self-recriminations. How had it come to this? When had he allowed himself to be so… distracted? It wasn’t supposed to happen—not to him. He was Otto Hightower, the Hand of the King, the steady anchor of the realm.

And yet, here he was, a man brought to the brink of madness over a princess he had no right to even think about.

The knock on his door came too soon, shattering the fragile quiet he’d managed to build around himself. He didn’t need to look up to know who it was.

The door creaked open, and in sauntered Jasper Wylde, his face alight with mischief. He didn’t bother to wait for an invitation, plopping down into the chair opposite Otto’s desk with all the grace of a man entirely too pleased with himself.

“Well, well,” Jasper began, leaning back casually. “I thought I’d find you here, wallowing in your thoughts. And judging by the look on your face, I was right.”

Otto’s glare could have cut stone. “If you’ve come to gloat, Lord Wylde, spare me the theatrics. I’m not in the mood.”

Jasper grinned, unbothered by Otto’s irritation. “Oh, I can see that. The great Otto Hightower, undone by a silver-haired princess. Truly, the gods have a sense of humor.”

Otto groaned, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his temples. “You are insufferable.”

“I prefer the term ‘perceptive,’” Jasper quipped, gesturing to the wine. “You should drink that. Might loosen you up a bit.”

“I don’t need to be loosened,” Otto snapped. “I need the realm to stop conspiring against me.”

Jasper chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. “The realm isn’t conspiring, Otto. It’s you. You’ve spent so many years focusing on duty and propriety that you’ve forgotten you’re human. And now, one spirited princess comes along, and suddenly you’re questioning everything.”

Otto’s jaw tightened. “I am not questioning everything.”

“Oh, you absolutely are,” Jasper said, his grin widening. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. Like a man seeing sunlight for the first time. It’s almost poetic.”

“This is not amusing,” Otto growled, his voice low. “If Daemon—or worse, Viserys—suspected even a fraction of what you’re insinuating, it would mean disaster.”

Jasper shrugged. “Then don’t let them find out. But you can’t sit here pretending you don’t care. You’ve already sent her a gift. You’re already in deeper than you want to admit.”

“That was a gesture of gratitude,” Otto said firmly, though the words rang hollow even to his own ears.

“Gratitude?” Jasper snorted. “Please. That hairpin was practically a love letter.”

Otto shot him a withering glare. “If you value your position, you’ll keep your mouth shut about this.”

“Oh, I won’t tell anyone,” Jasper said, leaning forward with a wicked glint in his eye. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to enjoy watching you squirm.”

Otto groaned again, his head falling into his hands. “Seven hells, why am I even entertaining this conversation?”

“Because deep down, you know I’m right,” Jasper said smugly. “You’re in the middle of a crisis, Otto. And it’s glorious.”

Otto sat up, fixing Jasper with a look of pure exasperation. “I am not in the middle of a crisis.”

“You’re brooding in your tower, snapping at everyone, and questioning your very existence over a woman,” Jasper said, ticking off each point on his fingers. “If that’s not a crisis, I don’t know what is.”

Otto stared at him, his patience hanging by a thread. “What do you suggest I do, then, Lord Wylde? Profess my undying affection and hope for the best?”

Jasper laughed, loud and unrestrained. “Gods, no. You’d terrify her. Just… let it play out. Stop trying to control everything for once in your life.”

Otto scowled, but the words lingered uncomfortably in his mind. “Your advice is bleak,” he muttered again.

“And you’re hopeless,” Jasper countered, standing and clapping Otto on the shoulder. “But that’s what makes this so entertaining. Good luck, my friend. You’re going to need it.”

With that, Jasper left, his laughter echoing down the corridor. Otto sat in silence, the weight of his thoughts pressing down on him once more. He stared at the goblet of wine, considering Jasper’s words even as he tried to dismiss them.

The gods, it seemed, had decided to make him the punchline of their grand joke. And he hated that part of him—small and traitorous though it was—didn’t entirely mind.

The grand hall of the Red Keep was alive with the quiet murmur of courtiers and the occasional clink of goblets. The day’s business was light, and the nobles of King’s Landing milled about in clusters, exchanging pleasantries and gossip. Otto Hightower stood near one of the tall windows, his posture as rigid as ever, though his mind was anything but.

He had spotted you earlier, a flash of silver hair and a vibrant blue gown catching his attention as you entered the hall. You moved with an effortless grace, your presence commanding attention without even trying. Otto, against his better judgment, saw an opportunity—a rare moment when you weren’t surrounded by Rhaenyra or a gaggle of noble ladies.

Taking a deep breath, he made his way toward you, rehearsing his words in his mind. Casual. Polite. Nothing more than a conversation, he reminded himself.

You stood near one of the side tables, inspecting a goblet of wine with a faintly amused expression. As he approached, you glanced up, your eyes meeting his.

“Lord Hightower,” you greeted, inclining your head. “I didn’t expect to see you among the courtiers today.”

Otto offered a faint smile, bowing his head slightly. “Even the Hand of the King must indulge in lighter company from time to time.”

You arched a brow, a trace of amusement in your expression. “And here I thought you thrived on the weighty matters of state.”

“Perhaps I do,” Otto replied smoothly, “but even the most steadfast ship requires calm waters now and then.”

Your smile widened, and you gestured to the goblet in your hand. “Do you indulge in wine, my lord, or is that too frivolous for the Hand of the King?”

“On occasion,” he admitted, a flicker of warmth in his tone. “Though I find my indulgences lean more toward conversation.”

“Then I’m honored to provide it,” you said lightly, setting the goblet down. “What shall we discuss, Lord Hightower? The state of the realm? Or perhaps the poetry of the Reach?”

“Whatever pleases you, Princess,” Otto said, his voice steady despite the faint flutter in his chest.

Before the conversation could deepen, a young lord approached—Lord Gawen Corbray, his dark hair neatly combed and his tunic embroidered with the sigil of House Corbray. He bowed deeply, a practiced smile on his lips.

“Princess,” Gawen said, his tone warm and confident. “It is an honor to see you gracing the court today.”

You returned his bow with a polite nod. “Lord Corbray. How kind of you to say.”

Gawen’s gaze flicked briefly to Otto, his smile tightening ever so slightly. “Lord Hightower,” he said with a nod, his tone respectful but pointed.

“Lord Corbray,” Otto replied evenly, his expression unreadable.

Gawen turned his attention back to you, his confidence returning. “I was just speaking with my father about the recent tourneys. Have you had the chance to attend any, Princess? There have been some truly spectacular displays of skill.”

“I have not,” you admitted, your tone polite but distant. “Though I’ve heard the tales.”

“Ah, a shame,” Gawen said, his smile widening. “Perhaps the next one, then. I’d be honored to escort you—if you would permit it, of course.”

Before you could respond, Otto spoke, his tone measured. “The princess’s time is often occupied with matters of far greater import than tourneys, Lord Corbray. Though your offer is… thoughtful.”

The subtle weight in Otto’s words was not lost on Gawen, who straightened slightly, his smile faltering for a fraction of a second. “Of course, Lord Hightower. But surely even a princess deserves moments of levity.”

“And yet,” Otto said smoothly, his gaze unwavering, “it is the princess herself who decides how best to spend her time.”

You glanced between the two men, sensing the unspoken hostility. A faint smile tugged at your lips as you addressed Gawen. “Your offer is most gracious, my lord. I shall keep it in mind.”

Gawen’s smile returned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I am at your service, Princess.” He hesitated, then added, “Lord Hightower, I’m sure the matters of the realm demand your attention. Perhaps I might have a moment with the princess to discuss… lighter matters?”

Otto’s expression remained composed, but his eyes sharpened. “The princess and I were already engaged in conversation. I trust she will let us know when she wishes to change the subject—or company.”

Gawen’s jaw tightened, though he quickly masked it with a bow. “Of course. My apologies, Princess Y/N, Lord Hightower. I shall take my leave for now.”

As Gawen retreated, Otto allowed himself a small, satisfied exhale. You turned back to him, your expression unreadable.

“That was… bracing,” you said, a hint of amusement in your voice.

“My apologies if I overstepped,” Otto said, his tone measured. “I only wished to ensure you weren’t subjected to unnecessary… distractions.”

You tilted your head, studying him for a moment. “Is that what he was? A distraction?”

Otto met your gaze, his composure steady. “I would never presume to speak for you, Princess. But I value a conversation of substance over empty flattery.”

Your lips curved into a faint smile. “As do I, Lord Hightower. As do I.”

The conversation resumed, the earlier tension fading as you discussed lighter topics—the gardens, the history of the Keep, even a brief exchange about your shared admiration for Oldtown’s architecture. But as you spoke, Otto couldn’t shake the lingering warmth in his chest—a quiet, insistent reminder of the treacherous path he was treading.

The royal solar of the Red Keep was quiet, save for the crackle of the fire in the hearth and the soft clink of goblets on the table. King Viserys sat in his high-backed chair, swirling the wine in his cup with an air of exasperation. Across from him, his brother, Daemon Targaryen, lounged in his chair with his usual blend of arrogance and ease.

Viserys studied his younger brother for a long moment, his expression a mixture of weariness and frustration. Daemon, as always, seemed entirely unbothered, his silver hair loose and falling over his shoulders, the faintest smirk playing on his lips.

“You know why I’ve asked you here,” Viserys began, his tone heavy with the weight of responsibility.

“Oh, I can imagine,” Daemon drawled, taking a slow sip from his goblet. “The same tiresome subject you’ve been hounding me about for weeks.”

“Because it’s important,” Viserys said sharply, setting his goblet down with a thud. “She’s your daughter, Daemon. Her future is not something you can dismiss with a wave of your hand.”

“And yet, that’s exactly what I intend to do,” Daemon replied, leaning back in his chair. “The so-called lords of the realm have no claim to her.”

Viserys let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing his temples. “You can’t keep rejecting every proposal. These are not petty knights or minor houses, Daemon. These are paramount lords—Lannisters, Tyrells, Baratheons. Marrying her to one of them could strengthen the realm.”

“And weaken her,” Daemon countered, his tone calm but firm. “Do you think she’d thrive as the lady of Storm’s End? Or Casterly Rock? Tied to some lord who sees her as little more than a broodmare?”

Viserys frowned, his fingers drumming against the table. “You’re being unreasonable. A match with one of these houses would elevate her, protect her. It’s what’s best for her.”

“What’s best for her,” Daemon said, his voice taking on an edge, “is to remain where she is, with her family. Not shackled to some pompous lord who only wants her for her name and her blood.”

Viserys sat forward, his frustration boiling over. “She’s not a child, Daemon! She’s a woman grown, and the longer you keep her unwed, the more chaos it invites. The court is already teeming with whispers about her suitors, and every rejection you make only fuels the fire.”

Daemon smirked, clearly unfazed. “Let them whisper. What do I care for their idle tongues?”

“You should care,” Viserys said, his tone rising. “The realm needs stability, and her marriage could bring that. Or would you prefer her name to be dragged through the mud, her reputation tarnished because you refused to act?”

Daemon’s smirk faded, his eyes narrowing. “You think I don’t care about her reputation? About her future? I would burn this castle to the ground before I let anyone harm her.”

“Then stop treating her like a pawn in your game against the lords of the realm,” Viserys shot back. “You’re not protecting her, Daemon. You’re isolating her.”

For a moment, the two brothers stared at each other, the tension between them thick and heavy. Finally, Daemon leaned forward, his tone quieter but no less firm.

“Do you know what she said to me the other day?” he asked, his voice almost conversational.

Viserys frowned, caught off guard. “What?”

“She told me she’d rather have no husband at all than be married to one of these fools who parade themselves before her,” Daemon said, his lips curling into a faint, bitter smile. “She sees through them, brother. Every flowery word, every empty promise. And she despises it.”

Viserys’s expression softened slightly, though his frustration remained. “She’s young, Daemon. She doesn’t understand what’s at stake.”

“She understands more than you think,” Daemon said, standing and pacing to the window. He looked out over the city, his hands clasped behind his back. “She has her mother’s spirit. Wild, untamed. You can’t cage that, Viserys. You shouldn’t try.”

Viserys sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping. “So what, then? You’d have her remain unwed forever? What kind of future is that for her?”

Daemon turned, his expression hard. “One where she’s free. Free to choose her own path. Free to decide what she wants.”

“And what if what she wants is something you can’t give her?” Viserys asked quietly.

Daemon hesitated, the question striking a nerve. His jaw tightened, but he said nothing.

Viserys stood, stepping closer to his brother. “I know you love her, Daemon. I know you want what’s best for her. But you can’t shield her from the world forever. Sooner or later, she’ll have to face it—and you need to let her.”

Daemon’s gaze dropped to the floor, his hands tightening into fists. After a long moment, he looked up, his dark violet eyes burning with determination. “If she faces the world, she’ll do it on her terms. Not yours. Not mine. Hers.”

Viserys studied him for a moment, his frustration giving way to resignation. “You’re being unreasonable.”

“I’ve been called worse,” Daemon said with a faint smirk, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

The king sighed, shaking his head as he turned back to the table. “We’ll revisit this conversation soon. Until then, I hope you’ll think on what I’ve said.”

Daemon said nothing, his gaze returning to the city below. As Viserys left the solar, the silence that followed felt heavier than before, filled with unspoken fears and unresolved tension.

Daemon stood alone, staring out over the city as the sunlight faded into the haze of the horizon. Whatever the future held, he knew one thing for certain: he would do whatever it took to protect you, even if it meant defying the realm itself.

The gardens of the Red Keep were quiet in the early morning, the dew still clinging to the petals of roses and the air fresh with the scent of lavender and lemon blossoms. You sat on a stone bench near the edge of the fountain, a book open in your lap, though your eyes were more focused on the rippling water than the words on the page. The tranquility of the moment was a welcome reprieve from the bustling chaos of court life.

The sound of soft footsteps drew your attention, and you glanced up to see Queen Alicent approaching. She was dressed in a gown of emerald green, her auburn hair falling in neat waves over her shoulders. Her expression was warm, but there was a trace of hesitation in her eyes as she drew closer.

“Good morning, Princess,” Alicent greeted with a small smile, her voice soft.

“Your Grace,” you replied, closing your book and standing to curtsy. “You honor me with your presence.”

Alicent waved a hand dismissively, gesturing for you to sit. “Please, no need for formality. I thought I might join you for a while. The gardens are much more inviting than the throne room at this hour.”

You nodded, resuming your seat as Alicent settled beside you on the bench. For a moment, the two of you sat in silence, the gentle bubbling of the fountain filling the space between you.

“You’ve been the subject of much conversation lately,” Alicent said after a pause, her tone casual.

You arched a brow, glancing at her. “Have I? That’s hardly unusual for a Targaryen at court.”

“True,” Alicent admitted with a faint laugh. “But even among our family, you’ve drawn considerable attention. The lords seem particularly… enamored.”

You sighed, leaning back slightly. “If by ‘enamored,’ you mean relentless, then yes, I suppose they are.”

Alicent smiled, though there was a flicker of something more serious in her eyes. “And yet, you don’t seem impressed by any of them.”

“Should I be?” you asked lightly. “Most of them seem more interested in my bloodline than in me.”

Alicent tilted her head, studying you for a moment. “You’re perceptive. It’s no wonder my father admires you.”

The mention of Otto caught you off guard, though you quickly masked your surprise. “Lord Hightower has been kind,” you said carefully. “He’s a man of great wisdom.”

“Wisdom, yes,” Alicent said, her gaze drifting to the fountain. “But he’s also a man who carries many burdens. Sometimes I wonder if he ever allows himself to set them down.”

You hesitated, unsure where the conversation was leading. “He does seem… dedicated.”

“He is,” Alicent said, her voice quieter now. “Ever since my mother passed, he’s poured himself into his duties. The realm has always come first for him, even at great cost to himself.”

You turned to her, sensing the shift in her tone. “That must have been difficult—for both of you.”

Alicent nodded, a flicker of sadness crossing her face. “It was. He was all I had after she was gone. And while I know he loved her, I think her death left a void he’s never truly filled.”

The vulnerability in her voice caught you off guard. Alicent was always composed, always measured. To hear her speak so openly felt almost… intimate.

“Why are you telling me this?” you asked gently.

Alicent hesitated, her hands clasping in her lap. “Because I see how he looks at you,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “And I see how he’s changed since you came to court. He’s… different.”

You blinked, startled by her candor. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Alicent said quickly, her cheeks flushing slightly. “I just… I suppose I wanted to understand. What do you think of him?”

The question hung in the air, and you took a moment to gather your thoughts. “He’s… complex,” you said finally. “He has a keen mind and a steady presence. But he’s also distant, guarded. It’s hard to know what lies beneath the surface.”

Alicent smiled faintly. “That’s fair. He’s always been that way. But I think, deep down, he feels more than he lets on.”

You glanced at her, studying her expression. “And what do you think of this, Your Grace? This… interest he has?”

Alicent sighed, her gaze dropping to her hands. “I don’t know. It feels strange to even speak of it. He’s my father, and I never imagined… But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life is rarely as simple as we wish it to be.”

You nodded slowly, your thoughts swirling. “It’s a complicated matter, to say the least.”

“More than complicated,” Alicent said with a soft laugh. “But I thought you deserved to know. Whatever comes of it, I only hope… I only hope he finds some measure of happiness.”

The vulnerability in her words struck a chord, and you found yourself seeing Alicent—and her father—in a new light. The weight of duty and expectation pressed heavily on all of you, and in that moment, you realized just how deeply it shaped your lives.

“Thank you for telling me,” you said quietly. “It means more than you know.”

Alicent reached out, briefly touching your hand. “You’re a remarkable person, Princess Y/N. And I think… my father sees that more clearly than anyone.”

With that, she rose gracefully, smoothing her gown as she prepared to leave. “Enjoy the gardens. They’re far more peaceful than what awaits us inside.”

You watched her go, her words lingering in your mind like the faint scent of roses in the air. The morning sun continued to shine, but the warmth it brought felt strangely distant as you turned back to the fountain, lost in thought.

Otto Hightower sat in his chamber. His desk was meticulously organized, as always, though his mind was far from calm. Reports from the Reach lay before him, but he hadn’t truly read them. His thoughts were elsewhere—always elsewhere these days, and he hated himself for it.

A soft knock at the door broke his reverie. He looked up, straightening his posture. “Enter.”

The door creaked open, and Alicent stepped in, her movements graceful yet hesitant and her expression was uncharacteristically nervous. Otto immediately noticed the tension in her posture.

“Alicent,” he greeted, his tone curious. “What brings you here at this hour?”

She closed the door behind her, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. “I… I need to speak with you, Father. About something important.”

Otto’s brow furrowed as he gestured for her to sit. “Very well. What is it?”

Alicent hesitated, then crossed the room to take the chair opposite him. For a moment, she seemed to be gathering her thoughts, her gaze fixed on her hands. Otto’s frown deepened. Alicent was not usually one to mince words with him.

“What’s troubling you?” he asked, his tone softening slightly.

“I spoke to her,” Alicent blurted out, looking up at him.

Otto blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “To whom?”

“To Princess Y/N,” Alicent clarified, her voice quieter now.

The blood drained from Otto’s face. He leaned back in his chair, his hands gripping the armrests. “What exactly did you say?”

“I… I asked her what she thought of you,” Alicent admitted, her cheeks flushing. “And I told her about you. About how you’ve been since Mother died.”

For a long moment, Otto was silent, his expression a mixture of disbelief and horror. Finally, he spoke, his voice low and controlled. “Alicent. Please tell me you’re jesting.”

“I’m not,” she said quickly, leaning forward. “I thought she should know, Father. I know what I’ve said before, about pursuing her not to be a wise choice. But you’re clearly… invested in her. And she has a right to understand—”

Otto stood abruptly, pacing to the window as he ran a hand through his silver-streaked hair. “Gods above, Alicent. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“I was trying to help!” Alicent protested, rising to her feet. “You’ve been so… different lately. I thought if I spoke to her, if she understood, it might—”

“Might what?” Otto snapped, turning to face her. “Encourage her to pity me? To humor my foolishness? This is not some courtly game, Alicent. This is a matter that could destroy everything I’ve built.”

Alicent flinched at his tone but held her ground. “You care for her. Don’t deny it.”

“That is irrelevant,” Otto said sharply. “She is Daemon’s daughter. A Targaryen princess. Whatever… feelings I may have are entirely inappropriate.”

“Father,” Alicent said, her voice softening. “You deserve happiness. You’ve given so much to the realm, to all of us. If there’s even a chance—”

“There is no chance,” Otto interrupted, his tone cold. “Do you think Daemon would ever allow it? Do you think Viserys would? The very idea is absurd.”

Alicent’s eyes filled with frustration. “Why must you always think of duty above all else? You’re a man, Father. Not a machine. You’re allowed to feel.”

Otto exhaled sharply, his hands gripping the windowsill. “Feeling has no place in politics, Alicent. It’s a luxury I cannot afford.”

“And yet, you feel,” Alicent said quietly, stepping closer. “I see it every time you look at her. You’re not as cold as you want the world to believe, Father.”

Otto turned to her, his expression weary. “What did she say? The princess—how did she respond to your… meddling?”

Alicent hesitated, then sighed. “She didn’t say much. She was surprised, of course. But I think she… understood.”

Otto groaned, rubbing his temples. “Understood? Gods, this is a disaster.”

“It’s not,” Alicent insisted. “She didn’t reject the idea outright. If anything, I think she admires you.”

Otto gave her a sharp look. “Admiration is not the same as affection. And even if it were, it doesn’t matter. The consequences—”

“The consequences are worth the risk,” Alicent said firmly. “For once, think of yourself, Father. Not the realm. Not the court. You.”

Otto stared at her, his chest tight with conflicting emotions. He wanted to lash out, to tell her she had overstepped. But beneath his anger was something else—a flicker of hope he despised himself for feeling.

Finally, he turned away, his voice barely above a whisper. “You shouldn’t have interfered.”

“Perhaps not,” Alicent admitted. “But I couldn’t stand by and watch you suffer in silence. You’ve done so much for everyone else, Father. You deserve something for yourself.”

Otto closed his eyes, the weight of her words settling over him. He hated the vulnerability they stirred within him, the dangerous yearning they awakened.

“Leave me,” he said quietly.

“Father—”

“Please,” he said, his tone softer but no less firm.

Alicent hesitated, then nodded. “As you wish.”

She left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Otto remained by the window, staring out at the fading light of the evening. His thoughts were a tempest, and for the first time in years, he felt truly uncertain.

[guided-by-stars]

I have so many thoughts about the depiction of queer characters in Stars and Time and I fear I will never be able to express all of them…let alone coherently. One of the things I think about the most is the variety in aroaspec experiences represented. As someone who is aroaspec myself, it means so very much to me.

Mirabelle is very clearly romance and sex repulsed! She says explicitly that “doing things” with others is something she would never ever be able to bring herself to do, and that the idea of it is gross, and being in a romantic relationship would make her uncomfortable and is not something she would want to do at all. That she hates thinking about the idea of it for herself. She doesn’t merely not desire/care for it, she’s repulsed by the very idea of doing any of it. With that being said, she loves to read about romance! She finds it fun! Thinking about people in her life being together is cute to her.

On the other end of the “idgaf about romance” side of the party, Odile says that she hasn’t felt romantic love in many years. That she doesn’t care to. It’s not a priority for her. In a world where romance is seen as the end goal, something to strive for, she just…couldn’t care less. At the same time, the romantic desires she has felt in the past are also non-normative! She didn’t merely crush on a rival, or whatever most “enemies to lovers” media depicts, but she desired someone she hated!

Siffrin, the other ace of the party, differentiates themselves from Mira every time the concept of sex or romance comes up. In the writing room, they initially see the "people doing fun stuff" drawings and looks at them with curiosity. In later acts, his curiosity turns into a sick feeling, and another important factor to point out is that Siffrin has always seen his desires as “gross��� and “shameful”, and the longer he stays in the loops, the more disgusted he is with himself. When talking to Mira about the topic, he thinks to himself about how sometimes he wishes he didn’t feel romantic love. When relating to Mira’s lack of sexual desire, he expresses that he finds sex “weird”, which contrasts against Mirabelle’s much more harsh statement of sex being gross and awful. Clearly he’s not repulsed, at the least, but shares Mira’s lack of inherent attraction to others in that way. Still, there’s a curiosity there. It seems that he wonders what makes it something that others like so much.

[honestlyvan]

id be really interested to see you talk about the dynamic btwn Haseo and Ovan + how it changes over time, love ur dothack thoughts so far

(Now on DW!)

I had to take a vigorous walk around the block and a shower before I could sit down to write this, lmao.

God, nonny, they are So Much. An unbelievable amount, even.

To step back from the mythical framing for a little bit and to just look at them as people, one of the things that makes me bark like a dog the worst is how all of the Epitaph are all circling and struggling with the similar kinds of of identity issues -- presumably being the reason the Epitaphs attached themselves to them, there's no room in the mind of people who are too secure in who they are to carry the duties of a Phase with them.

Each of the Epitaphs represent the temptation to fall into a variety of self-protective but futile failure modes that let you define yourself on your own terms but ultimately limit growth, and while I have thoughts about all of the Epitaph users and how they interact with each other, I definitely think Haseo and Ovan get the version of it that is the most brutal in its compatibility.

For Haseo, Skeith represents a temptation to do as thou wilst, to eschew a communal and social identity in favour of only exclusively defining himself -- which is, incidentally, how Ovan comes across initially. You could not find a guy who moves through the world with more assurance and less need to explain himself. Ovan appears to have a kind of singularity of identity that nobody else can get a word in edgewise -- and Haseo, who spends a lot of time feeling off and unsure and wordlessly anxious about having lost sight of who he is, that's like the holy grail.

Of course, the reason Ovan is so singular in his identity is because his sense of self is practically transparent and he exists almost exclusively as the life-support system for a machine that makes Aina happy. From the start, there's no way for Ovan to recognise Haseo the way he wants to be recognised because Ovan barely knows who he is, let alone what Haseo sees in him that is so admirable because Ovan is just reflecting back the thing Haseo wants to see in himself.

Because in contrast to the fundamental mistake in Haseo's thinking, Ovan is very clear-eyed about what Haseo is like. That's one of the core paradoxes of his character, he's very good at reading other people and completely oblivious to how they read him back. He's great at anticipating and manipulating people's behaviour, but is critically disconnected about how he should feel about the way other people feel about him. Haseo needs to see him as something to chase and grow into? Okay, if that's what he needs to be, it's as simple as that. The terms of their relationship are set forever now.

So, in a way, as much as Ovan's plan relies on Haseo growing as a person, as much as he frames it in those terms, what he actually needs is for Haseo to stay exactly the same. Stay exactly on the terms that Ovan needs him to stay on for his plan to succeed. Ovan can never let Haseo reach him because that would change the terms of their relationship, and make him truly unmanageable.

Which, really, is just how Ovan deals with everything in his life. He keeps it all at a distance, because he doesn't really have a sense of self to let people close to, except in the sense that he knows everything that has happened to cause this situation has been done by him, and that the only way to set it right is to find a way to cross himself out again. And if he has to let Haseo catch up to him, it's explicitly so Haseo can be his executioner, and help him rectify the mistake of existing in the world in the first place. Corbenik, the meaning of life and death, can only exist in the void.

And tbh, if Ovan's plans had actually worked out on the timetable he intended them to work out on, I think Haseo may have been fulfilled by that. From the start, he sees himself as the aspirant to Ovan's paragon, wants to reach him through his own effort, to exist in the world the same way he thinks Ovan does.

However, the rest of Haseo's arc is learning that none of us exist in the world alone. That we are defined by the experiences we have with other people. If he reaches Ovan and Ovan is no longer there, what does it still matter to have reached him?

[arromantica-lucha]

i got a lot of thoughts about loveless by alice oseman and if this post seems very one sided well thats just how it read to me. my opinion isnt the end-all and i value how everyone interpreted and was affected by this book. this isnt a closed topic lets talk about it

gripes with loveless by alice oseman

took a while to actually explain that ace and aro are two separate identities and still not that well. it makes aro seem like a subset of ace which is entirely false. its cool there was an aroallo character involved but still

the book title 'loveless' is a real term and identity and the entirety of the book kinda shits on it by enforcing the ideal that its still okay to be aspec cause platonic love can be experienced and any type of love is required or at least better than "not feeling anything and being alone forever"

it was weird for her friends to forgive her over gestures that had nothing to do with apologizing before georgia actually apologized and explained but that may just be more of a personal thing that i didnt like. likewise the story being about platonic love it kinda sucks her deepest connection is with her roommate and not the people shes known for years and wronged

kinda sex negative. i mean rooney says she doesnt dislike casual sex but then that whole thing becomes the reason she hates herself and a reason to cope with being "unloveable" and its kinda lame. you can tell that story without making it seem like casual sex is just a means of devaluing yourself. and you can be sex repulsed and still not do that. it just feels unfair to aroallo people especially who are told they are monsters for enjoying and only wanting casual sex when this book is supposed to be about aromanticism too

(can we also be done with harry potter references??? lets stop hurting trans and jewish people thanks)

basically particular identities' stories shouldnt come at the expense of others and other ways of life. its great and important to write different experiences because no one is gonna relate to them all but no one has to replace romantic love with ANY type of love to feel good about themselves and be human. loveless and aplatonic people shouldnt have to read something that uses rhetoric against their identities within a book about aspec people

things i like about loveless

i didnt relate to it personally but the experiences felt very genuine. internalized aphobia, being hounded by aphobic comments, finding it hard to portray love even in a fictional or artistic sense, etc.

I appreciate the references to race and intersectionality that come with being queer even if they were minimal. so few times is it actually acknowledged that there is privilege when it comes to being understood, coming out, being accepted, etc. the references to that were nice to see because too often intersectionality being brought up is brushed off and blatantly ignored or people pretend like they understand

it was written by someone who is aroace even if there are some things that can be less isolating within the aspec community with the language being used. someone being open about their identities and how they choose to define them in the mainstream world is how we get more peoples voices in there

it has helped people discover their own identity though id still recommend further research on the actual identities being named and ones not named. these stories are the first introduction of aspec identities in mainstream and that hopefully means itll start to expand to other identities within that community that have not yet had representation

this should be the start of developing more rep. the first takes are not gonna represent everyone and its a good thing it exists to tell a few peoples story. but that doesnt mean it should be free from any criticism because thats how we make them continuously better. i hope to see an aroallo character soon. i want the term loveless to be properly used in media and expressed for what it is. i want to stop pretending like ace is the umbrella term for all aspec identities. i want amatonormativity explained as the sociological term it is that harms all life not just aromantic and polyamorous people. i want a polyam aspec character and polyam characters in general. i want disabled and ethnic aspec characters where the intersectionality is just as important to the narrative. i want a whole lot more and to stop prentending like any of that should be unreasonable

[karinamay]

OC deepdive: Tav'ará Naldarai

Thanks for the tag @cinnamontails-ff <3

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

She's very scared to let people in, to trust them, which is just because of how she was raised. She's scared of being unimportant, of not making an impact in the world. She's also very scared of snails, but we're not going to talk about that.

Do they have any pet peeves?

When people ask you a question solely so they can talk about themselves. Also she loves physical intimacy but she hates when she can feel someone's breath in her face and she feels like she's breathing in their out-breath.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Her bedroom is extremely tiny, basically just a mattress shoved into the attic space right under the roof. There's no shelves, or anything, but she does have fairylights, and a lot of pictures up, of her and her friends mainly (two of them are very important, one of herself, Alfira and Dammon when they graduated high school, and where Shadowheart is giving her a piggyback ride and Karlach took a picture mere seconds before Shadowheart misstepped and the two of them fell into Grey Harbour.)

What do they notice first in a person?

How they present themselves. (Their vibe if you will.) Not in an "are they attractive" way, but how they want to be perceived. Do they take care of themselves or is their appearance unimportant to them, do they like being the centre of attention or prefer being left alone.

On a scale from 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Probably an 7. She absolutely hates pain, which is why I won't put it up to an 8 or a 9 even, even though she's very accustomed to dealing with pain and can technically deal with a lot. It just pisses her off too much to deal with it in a more composed manner.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Fight 95% of the time. She's act first, ask questions later. There is however a 5% chance that she'll freeze, in very specific circumstances.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Tav has a pretty terrible relationship with her parents, which is fair. Jorgeon is just an absent father, and Eildys is extremely strict and holds Tav to an impossible standard, all while just not being very nice. That said, Tav does have a certain level of respect for her mother. She's not a family gal, she prefers her found family.

What animal represents them best?

My first thought it maybe a fox? I'm not sure that's just the vibe.

What is a smell they dislike?

Honeysuckle.

Have they broken any bones?

Yes, she broke her left arm once when she went on vacation to Elturel with Alfira and Dammon. No one is exactly sure what happened, but the doctor that took the x-rays at 3am was hot, though.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

"Loud" may have been a word used a lot to describe Tav, although that's gotten less bad over the past few years.

Are they a night owl, or morning bird?

She leans to being a night owl, but she also just doesn't need a lot of sleep. She likes being awake at night to see what happens in the dark, though.

What’s a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

She kind of hates the taste of honey in any form - mead, honey cakes etc. She likes powerful flavours, salts, bitters, sours. She likes seafood, pickles, black licorice, campari, the weird kinds of gin & tonics etc.

Do they have any hobbies?

She really likes dancing when she has time to go, whether that's a class or just out at a club.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprise?

She would try very hard to pretend she didn't already know it was happening.

Do they like to wear jewellery?

Not particularly, she doesn't like rings or bracelets to get in the way of her movements. She used to have a lot of piercings but that was mainly to piss of Eildys and now she just has her ears pierced. She is currently wearing a tiny locket with a snowdrop on it. It's new.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Messy, but definitely legible.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Determination and joy (shocking, but true)

Do they have a favourite fabric?

She loves knitwear, so chunky woolen sweaters, she's very partial to jeans, but not new jeans when they're still stiff, old jeans when they're soft.

What kind of accent do they have?

Tav has done her very best to take the posh out of her accent, and she's now stuck with what we'd recognise kind of as estuary english, but she does have a certain way of speaking that's still kind of melodic, due to having spent the first years of her life in Astrazalian, and solely speaking Elvish.

[homunculusalphonse]

You know, I've compared Connie to Sadie (and Sapphire) before, but I just now realized how similar she also is to Lars.

[IDs: From left to right, Connie and Lars crying, talking about their loneliness. /End IDs]

Connie and Lars start out as lonely characters. Neither of them have friends besides Steven and Sadie respectively. Connie, however, is a lot more introverted, while Lars does his best to socialize with the Cool Kids, yet pretending to be someone he isn't. Even then, both of them really care about outside opinions, hence why Connie, for instance, doesn't like dancing in front of other people, and Lars for most of the show hides his baking - which is not because of skill, but because of what it represents to him.

And then you have their roles in Steven's life. Connie thinks Steven's "magical destiny" is amazing, while Lars doesn't think much of it. But regardless of their feelings, they become more and more involved with it, to the point of their lives being at risk multiple times. Connie is more prepared to fight back while Lars spends most of the time running away from conflict. Though what I think solidifies their similarities is their big moments alongside Steven on Homeworld.

Besides being stuck in a prison to starve (even if she's very familiar with being grounded, obviously that is still messed up), Connie has to fight the mindless bodies of the Crystal Gems, and she's forced to watch White Diamond remove Steven's gem out of his body without being able to do anything. Connie is the only one who can help Steven reach out to his gem self. And as far as we're concerned, Connie is also the only one who knows about all this, since the gems don't have any memories of it, and Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis only arrive when everything is already solved. It's likely that Steven never told them, and I don't think Connie has, either. Unfortunately, on screen, we never see how much her experiences affected her. Connie is even younger than Steven and she also went through a lot. Not to mention she's basically the only one who stands up for Steven in Future, being the voice of reason while the gems could only pity themselves.

Similarly, Lars is also helpless during The Trial, unable to even hear anything given his head was inside a bubble. Lars had even less context of Homeworld here, while Connie had more experience. Still, like her, he also had to throw himself in danger to protect Steven and the Off Colors, who were all going to be killed for merely existing. While yes, that's a big character development for Lars, and I'm proud of him for sticking up for people he barely knew, it's also tragic that a human teenager with no powers and fighting skills ended up saving everyone, at the cost of his own life. He also becomes the mature voice of reason for standing up for Steven and letting him go back home without him for Steven's safety. Hell, Lars was willing to end up alone in the Kindergarten so everyone else could go to Earth.

Lars says, "You brought me back to life! Just let me be somebody who deserved it". I can't help but remember Connie internalizing she should prioritize Steven's life over hers in Sworn to the Sword. At the very least, she's eventually taught to fight alongside him instead of sacrificing herself for him. Interestingly, like Lars becomes the captain of the Off Colors, Connie briefly becomes the leader in The New Crystal Gems. She's not patient like Steven is, but she shows herself to be organized and calculating, and she's not afraid to put the gems in their place, as we see later in Future.

If anything, I feel like Lars would get along well with Connie. Although they're insecure, they're not afraid to call something or someone out when they have to (Connie snaps at Steven for minimizing the danger they were in way back in Bubble Buddies, for that matter!). They also realize how unfair the gems (and Homeworld in general) are towards Steven - Lars gets to see Steven's most vulnerable side when they were kidnapped, realizing how afraid he really is underneath, so he insists that Steven needs to be safe first and foremost. Connie rightfully calls the gems out in The New Crystal Gems, and later on in I Am My Monster, because no one has ever actually sticked up for Steven all these years. No one has dedicated themselves for him the same way he does for everyone.

Basically, Lars would be a great ally to Connie, especially when it comes to Steven. Again, I always felt it was unfair that a young girl was the only one who snapped the gems out of their pity party. I know she already had Greg as a human ally in the middle of the gem stuff, but she could definitely get some use of Lars' no-nonsense attitude, too. She could confide in him with her fears and trauma, knowing she's not entirely alone.

In short: Connie and Lars are Steven's best friends. You can't convince me otherwise. /half-joking

[mangomybeloved]

my favorite small artists:

the aces: if you want alternative pop but it's GAY AS FUCK from the lyrics to the music videos, the aces are for you!!

"The Aces, an alternative pop band hailing from Provo, Utah, have known and loved one another for as long as most of them can remember. Henderson and Petty are childhood best friends of the Ramirez sisters, and three of the girls share the experience of growing up and coming out as gay after a Mormon upbringing. (Petty, who is straight, is a devoted ally.)"

"To the people that really need us, I think we're an absolute beacon of light," Cristal says. They've had many fans, especially young queer women, come up to them and say that "what you're doing for women in Utah, women in Salt Lake City – the kind of hope that you give us is just replaceable," she says.

"There's so many queer people who are stuck" in places where they can't always be themselves, Cristal says. "How can we give up on those people? I think we have to keep fighting to create safe spaces everywhere we possibly can." x

some of my favorite songs from them: girls make me wanna die/attention/i've loved you for so long

:::

Kississippi: if you're a fan of chappell roan's aesthetics and looking for a new pop singer to love, may i recommend kississippi!!!

"Before putting it out, aware of the sonal leap, she wondered, Are people gonna be down with this? “And then I was like, well, how could they not be down with this if this is the best thing I’ve ever done?” That level of confidence can only stem from the gut feeling that Reynolds is finally making music cut from cloth that is wholly her own—a prismatic assortment of electric shades and sparkles." x

some of my favorite songs from her: we're so in tune/around your room/cut yr teeth

:::

UCHE YARA: An artist based in Berlin, I adore her music cause it's such a mix of pop and soul and jazz/various music genres and it's so invigorating to do exercise to!! 10/10 would recommend!

“My dream is to have that moment where people scream my lyrics back at me. Where we just sing together and people feel understood. I want to share that experience with the whole room.

“I’m a fan girl too, so I know how beautiful it feels to stand in the audience and feel so connected to the artist on stage. I want to give that to people and show them: ‘I see you. Let’s do this together.’” x

some of my favorite songs from her: www she hot/sophie/panama

:::

future teens: a rock/bummer pop band from boston consisting of 4 friends i found through my spotify weekly and they're just so good, they're like the music that plays in a montage of a movie and it's just 10/10!!!

"While FUTURE TEENS may make you feel less alone, in most cases they will not physically be present during your listening. FUTURE TEENS formed in 2014 with little aspiration outside of playing a Fourth of July BBQ. In the subsequent years the band wrote and released more songs, steadily growing more serious about their goals. In 2017, they released HARD FEELINGS with TAKE THIS TO HEART RECORDS. Use of FUTURE TEENS may lead to random and frequent crying punctuated with strangely joyful laughter.  FUTURE TEENS is not liable for any emotional distress caused by listening." x

some of my favorite songs from them: in love or whatever/frequent crier/BYOB

:::

weston estate: an indie music band who are everything to me cause 4 of the 5 members are desi boys <333 and i always have to rep for my fellow brown kids!! PLUS THEIR MUSIC IS SO GOODDD

"It always makes us really happy to hear other people of color come up to us and say that they feel represented by us and that they’re proud of how far we’ve come as a band of color. It makes us feel like what we’re doing is actually having an impact on people and making them feel heard and understood in ways that they usually don’t see in traditional media. That’s always an amazing feeling and it has a profound impact on all of us every single time we hear it. At the same time, the last thing we want to do is be boxed in as the “brown boy band,” since, at the end of the day, our music and personalities should speak for themselves. By the time we’re done, there should be so many other bands of color succeeding in this industry that it becomes normal and doesn’t even need to be mentioned." x

my favorite songs from them: pears/stoked/slowly

enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to

[onelickactivate]

YouTube Success, Now For You: AI Video Tales Review

Today, you can start a YouTube channel about any subject you wish, and there is one thing that you can definitely expect— it is going to be very difficult to grow it. That is the difference between today and how it used to be 10-15 years ago. Because back then there were such niches that were either very scarcely represented or not represented at all on YouTube. But as time has passed, it has become almost impossible to find a niche like that. There is an established audience and a community of creators in every niche. So, if you are thinking about making YouTube a steady source of income, it’s only natural to be worried about the ‘what’ first rather than the ‘how’. 

<<<✨ Unleash Your Creativity with AI Video Tales 🎥>>>

You are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of creators who are craving to make a name for themselves today, but they find it really hard, either because they don’t know what to create, or they don’t know how to grow their channel. They are all stuck.

If you find yourself amongst this crowd of stuck creators, hopeless and ready to give up on your YouTube dream, then I have some good news for you. Not only are you going to learn about a niche that has a really high chance of success, but also how to grow your channel in that niche in a matter of days. 

Welcome to the world of kids’ content, which is, and I’m not exaggerating, a goldmine that will never run dry. Videos that are full of colorful animations, fun stories with moral lessons hidden in them, are what this niche is built on. And there are hundreds of millions of children who consume this content, and always will. But no, this blog is not focused on kids’ content, but a tool that will make growth in this niche a 100% surety. I’m talking about AI Video Tales, a secret weapon that will turn everything upside down for you. Millions of views, subscribers, and steady income, it will now be yours. Come and see how.

What Is AI Video Tales?

AI Video Tales is a tool built for creators just like you— those who see the potential that is the world of kids’ content, and want to give it their all. Before you think that it is one of those software that is priced so far above your reach that no matter how useful it is, it just seems idiotic to buy it, it is not. It is an AI powered tool that does a lot more than the most expensive tools in the market, in a lot less time.

Think of it as your personal storytelling assistant, that’ll help you to understand it better.

It generates as many kids’ stories as you want, each different from the other, all of very high quality. All you have to do is click a button.

When it comes to animations, through AI Video Tales you can produce the most professional looking animations— without actually designing anything!!

Since it generates videos in minutes, it allows you to upload high quality videos consistently, so you do the merry job of keeping the YouTube algorithm happy.

All in all, AI Video Tales is a tool that saves your time, money and energy, all while taking your channel to new heights.

How It Works: As Easy as 1-2-3

Did I mention already that you don’t need to be a tech geek at all to use this software to its full capabilities? Well, if I didn’t, see for yourself how easy it is to use AI Video Tales:

Pick a Theme: Choose any story type that you want. It can be fantasy, adventure, educational, or moral lessons, whatever you feel like.

Customize That Story: Now, to make it your own, add some personal touches. Character names, or some traits would be a great addition. If you want, you can let the AI handle everything as well.

Generate and Publish: Click on generate, and there you have it. A fully animated video, complete with narration and sound effects, generated in a matter of mere minutes. Publish it on YouTube, grab a seat, and see how it attracts the viewers.

It really is that easy.

The Challenges That Creators Like You Must Face

It would be safe to assume that if you are this far in this blog, it is because either you are an aspiring creator or a struggling one. No matter which one you are, it is also safe to assume that when you hear about kids’ content, you might be worrying about things like these:

“I’m not creative enough to compete.”

When you see channels like Cocomelon, Vlad and Niki, you see that these channels continuously pump out videos. But all these videos are fresh, different from the last, and imaginative. The animations are catchy, perfect for children. You might wonder, “How on earth can I do it?” It feels impossible to come up with fresh new content everyday.

“I don’t have the time to create videos regularly.”

When creating content for kids, regularity is a must if you want to make an impression in the kid’s mind. So, even if you are able to think of new plots everyday, scripting, animating and editing them becomes a challenge— one video might take you days at the start, even weeks. Who has time for that?

“I can’t afford expensive software or production teams.”

Another thing where studios like Cocomelon will have you beat— you don’t have any expensive animation software, voice actors, editors— you are on your own. So it’s only natural to think that on your own, it’s impossible to perform as well as these big creators and create a name for yourself.

If you are nodding along, keep reading to learn how AI Video Tales will be your knight in the shining armour.

<<<✨ Unleash Your Creativity with AI Video Tales 🎥>>>

Why You Will Love AI Video Tales

Now enough about your problems, let’s focus on the main factor: Why we think that AI Video Tales is exactly what creators like you need.

1. It Solves the Creativity Problem

You won’t be stuck anymore. You won’t feel that writer’s block. With AI Video Tales, just select a topic for your stories— magical adventures, talking animals, or life lessons, and the AI will generate fresh, engaging plots that kids will love, we guarantee.

2. It Saves You A Lot of Work

The main thing is that it saves you days worth of work because the final videos will be perfectly animated and edited on their own. In a fraction of what it used to take you to create one video, now you can create multiple.

3. It’s Affordable

You certainly don’t need a big budget, at just $17.95, you get something that people would pay thousands of dollars for. This software easily blows away the expensive animators, writers, and editors.

4. It Helps You Stay Consistent

The platform also allows you to stay consistent with your videos, and YouTube never shies away from preferring a creator who posts regularly, even more so when all of that content is high quality.

5. It’s Made for Busy People

It gets tough to actually make YouTube the source of income you want it to be when you’re a student, a stay-at-home parent, or working full-time. Not now though, with AI Video Tales, you will easily be able to focus on other things, while YouTube rakes up money for you.

What’s Holding You Back?

Yes, we understand that it is normal to think twice before jumping into a new niche and giving it all your focus. But that’s the catch here, you are going into an already proven niche, and to make things better, you don’t have to put in the time or energy that you would have normally. AI Video Tales does it for you. 

So, the risk is almost none, but the rewards are enormous. But it is our duty to inform you of some things that you should keep in mind so that you can make the most of this platform.

Be Original

Yes, the AI does all the hard work of coming up with the plot and creating the videos, but you should add your own touch wherever you get the chance– shaping the characters, their names, or even some changes to the plot would go a long way.

Stay Consistent

Consistency is the first step towards success. While AI Video Tales will make the videos for you, it is your job to upload them in a timely fashion, sticking to schedule.

Keep Learning

When you do build an audience, keep an eye on their trends, their feedback, and never shy away from evolving and improving.

Your Path to YouTube Success Starts Now

So, this is where we draw a conclusion. If you are someone who is looking to make YouTube a way to earn some dough, then breaking into the kids’ content market is definitely a great plan, but it is guaranteed to work only if you use AI Video Tales. With it, you can say goodbye to all the hardships that come with growing a channel.

There is always a roadblock. It can be time, money, or creative halts. But you can’t let these roadblocks hold you back. Make AI Video Tales your companion, and within some time you will find yourself thriving on your passion.

Ready to turn your YouTube dreams into reality? Let AI Video Tales be the tool that gets you there.

At $97/month $17.95, You Get:

Free Commercial License + Low ONE-TIME Price During Launch Period Only! (With a 30-day money back guarantee)

<<<✨ Unleash Your Creativity with AI Video Tales 🎥>>>

What All You Get If You Sign Up Today, And How Much Its Worth:

Fast Action Bonus #1 - UNLIMITED COMMERCIAL LICENCE (During Launch Period Only) (Value $297)

Fast Action Bonus #2 - LIVE Webclass   (Value $297)

Fast Action Bonus #3 - Boxed Bounty (Value $97)

Fast Action Bonus #4 - Storytelling Advantage (Value $97)

Fast Action Bonus #5 - The Unshakeable Super Affiliate (Value $197)

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[atryer]

that said absolutely nothing and reads like every sad post i have ever seen someone post. let me try again with nouns and direct subjects.

i got dumped by the girl ive loved the most in my life. so extremely painful that my brain makes me think about it every day. due to two things that i can see: she found me boring, or at the very least stagnant and unexciting, and she also loved fucking an old man so much that it made her feel so guilty that she had to stop seeing me. fucked. it makes me want to kill myself. this has happened before, about 9 years ago. that also made me want to kill myself. men somehow being a significant part of breaking apart the connections i have with people (all but one a woman) is a curse i cannot escape, as well as one that no one seems to take seriously at all. they almost find it funny, if not that, they find it irritating and fucking stupid.

my now ex-boyfriend, of 8 years does not like me anymore and will not admit as such, is irritated by my presence and seemingly barely thinks of me postiviely in any way. i often see what i can only consider as hatred in his eyes. it hurts more than anything else i think i have gone through, possible even the last paragraph. i could get through tpying that without crying at least. this i can't. someone i. saw everything in? saw everything with? almost became one with in a way? has dropped me in less than a year. i think he thinks i deserve it. i think he thinks its because of the man he has started seeing, and partially it is. but he thinks i seethingly hate that man when truly i just want it to stop. because it represents the exact thing that the role of men in the loves i have is: the end of them. and it was. i think he thinks i am not worth it, i think he thinks i am a lost cause for him, i think he thinsk i have wronged him so much that he cant abide by it. he is often very mean to me. i want to believe i "deserve better" and i want to feel relieved or righteous or justfied but i do not. i feel a deep and utter sadness by losing him, even in knowing i have been mistreated. i just wanted to be loved by grizz. i just wanted to seehappiness in his eyes one more time. i wanted him to ask me something that he cared about. i wanted him to love me in a way that did not feel like my eternal service to him. i do not think that is possible anymore so it had to end. but truth be told i would give it all up to have a kind grizz back. even for one week. for anything. i dont know. but he has given up, and its become clear that i wont get anything like that from him maybe ever again even if i do everything i think he wants. it hurts. it hurts so so so so so so much. i am crying. i am incapable of waxing poetic on heartbreak. or dead love. it just fucking hurts. it is bad. i am in pain.

my family is stagnant. this is not all bad. but i am constantly worriedetither of my parents could die at any moment, insane and fatalistic i know, but each moment i am not doing something to care for them feels like a minute wasted. they are the kindest most loving people i have maybe ever met. and i can see it in everything they do. i hope to somehow go above and beyond for them in a way that they couldnt ever concieve of but i do not feel capable of that in body mind or spirit anymore, and have not for years. i know they are proud of me. but i want them to not have to worry in themselves anymore. to feel health and calm just for a bit. anything. anything anything at all.

i am alone. this feels like too much. it feels to depressing. it feels nightmarish. i am being tortured in a waythat is specific to me. obviously, otherwise it wouldnt be torture dumbass. its your life. Fuck it . its fucked. its all fucked. and yet ill keep going. this is not a strength or bravery thing. it just because that is what happens. you move with time whether you like it or not. and if you do not eat you die. so you eat. if you do not drink you die. so you drink. if you do not do these things, not only do you die, but you go through more pain imaginable first. that is how it works. it is not easy to die. it is not easy to stop. i dont even know what the fuck i am talking bout anymore but i know it would be overly concerning for anyone i currently know if i did. so it goes here where no one sees shit like everything else ever has. Thanks sam!

[odysseykallistethiras]

MARK Santorini and its (lack of) Street Art

As discussed in my previous blog post about the symbols of Santorini, its architecture is known to be devoid of colour, let alone graffiti or street art. In this post I will be discussing the implications of a city that is missing graffiti, rather than the art itself.

In her essay ‘The critical impulse in street art’, Jaqueline Millner postulates that street art is born from a sense of resistance, from discontent with urban powers and is a form of abstract criticism against those in authority. Does Santorini’s lack of graffiti mean that all citizens who reside in this unmarked city have zero qualms about the government that preside over them? This is unlikely- Athens, also situated firmly in Greece, is prolific with street art. It’s supposed ‘defacement’ of the city is so copious that tourists have found themselves repeatedly shocked by the sheer amount of it all over the city, as if there is not a surface left un-spraypainted. Athens’s street art ranges from petty vandalism; youth marking territories with spray cans and markers, to cultivated vast murals that represent and communicate through art.

Of course, the lack of street art in Santorini does not make it any less of a city or its residents any more placid and uncritical than any other place in the world. The most common interpretation of why Santorini has almost no graffiti is for the benefit of the tourists. When visiting the ‘white city’, do you really want to see it doodled on? It would be akin to the feeling of a toddler with a sharpie scribbling on your lovely white wall. But why should societal rebellion be repressed for the benefit of those who do not live in that society? Unfortunately, the subject of this blog post leaves us with more questions than answers.

Coleman, D. (2024, April 25). Athens is Paradise for Grafitti Artists. David Coleman Photography. https://davidcolemanphoto.com/athens-greece-grafitti/

Mavsc79. (2014). Graffiti ruins Athen’s charm (old topic I’m aware) [Online forum commnent]. TripAdvisor. https://www.tripadvisor.com.au/ShowTopic-g189400-i194-k7548727-Graffiti_ruins_Athen_s_charm_old_topic_I_m_aware-Athens_Attica.html

Millner, J. (2017, August 10). Visual poetics: The critical impulse in street art.

[wolint]

FRESH MANNA

ABUSE IS UNACCEPTABLE 1

Psalm 10:17-18

Abuse is the oppression or domination of an individual by another or within a group or religious organization. Simply put, abuse is the improper use of something: power, knowledge, information or thing.

Unfortunately, the abused person follows the abuser without dissent or question. Any abuse committed intentionally or otherwise negatively impacts a person’s life, emotions, and spirituality, effectively diminishing or breaking their spirit, confidence and self-esteem.

Abuse is unacceptable!

There are so many abused people in society, even within the body of Christ: some people are not even aware that they are being abused, some have accepted abuse as their lot in life, and others are too ashamed to talk about it.

There are all kinds of abuse: the most obvious one that everyone knows and talks about is physical abuse but there’s emotional, mental, verbal, sexual, financial, physical, and even spiritual abuse.

Spouses abuse each other even though Colossians 3:19 say no to this. Colossians 3:21 says fathers (parents) should not abuse their children.

Ezekiel 34:1-4 talks about church folks abusing each other and church leaders abusing members. Those who represent the Lord should not place heavy burdens on the people of God that Christ died for as seen in Matthew 11:30, while some family members abuse each other. If the very one who's meant to look out for you and protect you is abusing you, to whom then do you turn?

Whatever form abuse takes, it is not deserving and is unacceptable, Jesus died to save and deliver us and no man has the right to bind us in ways that hurt because it reduces the sacrifice of our Saviour according to Luke 4:18-19.

Christ died to free us says John 8:36, let him help you come out of abuse, leave abusers, toxicity, aimlessness, and pain behind, and move forward into peace, wholeness, and blessing and begin to enjoy, experience the honour, and respect you deserve as a child of God.

No one has the right to make another less of who they are. We all have the responsibility of looking out for each other, supporting those too weak to support themselves according to 1 Thessalonians 5:14 and helping them cultivate the boundaries and standards that they may not have set for themselves to feel worthy of who they are.

If you're in an abusive relationship, seek help! Psalm 118:7 says God is on your side, seek healthy, covenant friendships, which will encourage and support you in aligning with God's Word for you.

1 Peter 2:9-10 tells us of God's vision for our lives, how He sees us; wealthy, healthy, safe, cherished, adored, courageous and alive; which we may not be if we don't get out of the thumb of the abuser.

We’re not responsible for other’s behaviour and actions, everyone is accountable to God and to themselves, and therefore have no right to take out our shortcomings, inadequacies, and anger on others, see Luke 6:31.

The man who covers selfish and vicious devices under a veneer of professionalism, religion or friendship, will be condemned, says Proverbs 12:2.

Domestic abuse is cyclical; even when intentional intervention occurs, abused people often find the fear of isolation, financial struggle, single parenting, and other factors too difficult to manage alone, so, they remain or return to the abuser. Galatians 5:1 says not to submit to the slavery we’ve been liberated from, so, exercise your freedom in Christ.

PRAYER: Oh Lord, set me free from whatever is abusing me and help me not abuse others in any form in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Shalom

Women of light international; prayer ministries.

[phanb]

Can we… can we talk about how underrated Kakashi's relationship with Gai is by everyone?

I start my essay by stating that I have been visiting many pages about Kakashi (biography, psychological analysis, etc.) and many of them have disappointed me by barely mentioning the relationship these two have. Kakashi, at first, didn't like Gai much for his boisterous way of being, but over time they hit it off, enough that Gai, a fairly confident person who rarely expresses any negative sentiment, confesses to Kakashi the shame he has that his father is still a genin. One would expect, with Obito not yet dead, that Kakashi would mock or belittle Gai, but instead, he, the prodigy of his generation and a cold genius, tells Gai that his father is "the coolest shinobi out there." This is incredible knowing that he was a little shit with everyone.

Changing the subject by mentioning Obito, can I also add a perspective that many people often confuse? Both boys considered themselves to be Kakashi's rivals, but for different reasons; Obito was constantly jealous and envious of his teammate's successes and even the attention he received from his crush (Rin), while Gai never felt anything like it towards Kakashi, rather seeing the boy as a personal ideal of a perfect shinobi that he wanted to achieve and surpass, without any animosity in between. Gai constantly cheered Kakashi up and always seemed happy to see him, while Obito, even though he cared for him (Kakashi), he always felt less than him, which made him very angry with his teammate.

Making a timeskip after his and Rin's death, a rather significant scene of what Gai represents for Kakashi is when he is sent on a mission by Minato to protect him in case something happens to him. Minato is absolutely right since Kakashi, in the middle of the mission, has a panic attack that causes an enemy to almost kill him, being saved by Gai who soon comforts him. What can be taken for granted is that Gai somehow managed to calm him down, surprisingly.

When Minato and Kushina die, Kakashi is left alone and unappreciated in a rush to fibally die. At this point we know that they both have a good and strong relationship apart from fighting each other, so it's no surprise when the only one who still believes there's good in Kakashi is Gai, who tries his best to help him, to the point of begging the Hokage to let him into Ambu so he could help and protect Kakashi.

In an intense mission in which Gai watches as Kakashi kills with unwavering coldness, he knows that the best option to get Kakashi out of the black hole he's stuck in is to get him out of Ambu. He is so worried about Kakashi that he constantly makes demands to get him out, to the point where the Hokage, knowing that Kakashi is an invaluable asset in Ambu and an extraordinary ninja, grants his request.

How are there people who believe that these two are just "friends"? And I'm not talking in romantic terms (not now). I'm talking about them believing they don't have "a strong connection" or that Gai is just an "old friend or close acquaintance". It's almost insulting.

Many believe that Gai is the only one who participates in the challenges and that Kakashi doesn't like them, but we know that they did more than a hundred challenges in the course of their lives. If Kakashi found them ridiculous or wanted Gai to leave him alone, he could. He was stronger than Gai, he could even disappear or manipulate him into leaving, but he accepted those challenges, he even keeps score! He likes them, he enjoys doing challenges; he is as into it as Gai.

They both have fun together no matter what. The two talks, understand each other and know each other well. They are not just "rivals" or "just friends"; Gai is a very important part of Kakashi's life, he is the one who kept him away from death (by suicide or being murdered), he is the one with whom Kakashi feels safe enough to faint from exhaustion in the face of danger (the attack of Itachi) or to guide him when he is blind. Despite his attitude towards his friend, Kakashi knows that Gai is precious to him; many times he has protected him, encouraged him or cared for him, and not just because he is a ninja comrade.

End of my essay. Talk to me if you want to continue discussing or talking about why Kakagai is so fascinating and amazing.

[astrolovecosmos]

Vertex: What We Can’t Control

Vertex is a point located in the right-hand side of a chart that represents the intersection of the ecliptic and the prime vertical. In astrology, it is considered an auxiliary or extra Descendant. Some astrologers refer to the Vertex as the “third angle” of a chart.  It is associated with wish fulfillment, awakenings or realizations, the idea of destiny or fate, and some use it for moments that are life changing such as meeting your spouse, a death of a loved one, birth of a child, etc. My focus isn’t on predictive astrology and because of this I don’t use Vertex often in my own readings. Vertex can be popular in synastry but I also don’t typically incorporate it into those charts. I analyze it from the perspective of how we approach what we can’t control, realizations, and our view or approach to wishes and “fate”. 

Vertex in Aries: There is a pull or call to be a leader in some fashion. This person may also feel like they are constantly fighting against “fate” or has a focus on making their own destiny. This person can feel like they are always falling into situations where they are forced to lead, fight, or assert. Defining the self may be important to feeling fulfilled. Self-expression and honoring the importance of the individual can help them feel more stable in a chaotic world. 

Vertex in Taurus: Anyone familiar with that scene from Frozen 2 where Olaf goes “we’re calling this controlling what you can when things feel out of control”? That is the first thing I thought of for Vertex in Taurus. The fear and frustration surrounding what they cannot control can be real. In terms of fate many describe this position as being about finding inner security and being more independent. For many Taurus placements there is the reoccurring theme of learning to overcome fear of the unknown, let go of control, to find flexibility, but most importantly to cultivate inner stability. With Vertex this individual may find themselves falling down a rabbit hole of unpredictable fate, but none of that should matter as long as they understand the power they hold in their own actions and decisions. 

Vertex in Gemini: Here we see someone who tries to get a handle on the unknown or their own destiny via learning as much as they can about the world, themselves, the occult, science, etc. Communication is also important to them in easing anxieties or feeding curiosity. They love to theorize or talk hypotheticals. Here we almost see a reflection of their polar opposite Sagittarius - there is a desire to find meaning in the world. Communicating their needs, fears, and wants can be helpful with feeling fulfilled or like they are on the right path. 

Vertex in Cancer: All of the water signs have a powerful relationship with the idea of fate and Vertex. Here we see themes of strong intuition, attachment, or maybe even psychic abilities. There is a close tie to their fate, whether they are making their own destiny, getting hunches about what path to take, or have world swallowing doubt and fears. Their relationship to the unknown, the instability of life, and to ideas of destiny are deep and felt strongly. With Cancer there is a focus on protecting and nurturing the self and others. They need to be careful of focusing too much on taking care of others or taking on their feelings. Reexamining family, making a new family, or dealing with family cycles or trauma may be in the cards for them. Attending to the inner child or wounded self is important in making themselves sane in such a crazy world. 

Vertex in Leo: Individuality, creativity, self-expression, and empowerment are themes surrounding this Vertex. To become the best version of yourself could summarize this placement when talking about destiny. To adapt or cope with a world that is outside of their control they must create their own world or path. To stand out and/or lead the way is what will help them feel most fulfilled in life. Authenticity is a buzzword now-a-days but that trait or way of being is a necessity for Vertex in Leo as they plummet through the universe. Feelings of grandeur, uniqueness, power, or nobility may go through them sometimes. While they need to be careful of not letting this go to their head or tripping them up - these feelings of power are important in shaping their own future and self. 

Vertex in Virgo: Much like Taurus there is a fear of the unknown or not being in control. To find inner stability could be a struggle. The focus for Vertex in Virgo is to find a way to feel purposeful, needed, or useful. This gives them a sense of direction and stability. This Vertex prefers routine, predictability, and structure. They may be overly practical in terms of fate - believing there are no other influences that determine their life other than them. Similar to Vertex in fire they can have a “I make my own destiny” attitude. Vertex in Virgo may have a pull to work on their intuition. The Vertex sits on an axis like all other points in a chart. The opposite sign is the Anti-Vertex which some astrologers believe to be how we shape our fate or what we have to offer in relationships and life. With Virgo Vertex and Pisces as the Anti-Vertex there is an opportunity to hone their intuition. On the subject of helping others or finding meaning - it is listening to their feelings and hunches that might lead them to how they can do this. 

Vertex in Libra: Trying to see their fate in other people or believing other people are their fate is associated. Learning to create their own destiny or standing on their own or standing out can be a lesson surrounding this Vertex. Finding peace by connecting with others and feeling less alone is also associated, especially in terms of dealing with what cannot be controlled or foreseen. Cooperation and adaptability are strengths needed to feel whole. 

Vertex in Scorpio: There is a lot to be said about willpower here. This person likely is a strong believer in making their own destiny. Strong premonitions and hunches can lead them into believing in a higher power or feeling in tune with the spiritual or unknown. Scorpio is pulled to master their turbulent emotions and intensity as well as conquer and understand the mysteries inside themselves. It’s about learning self-control but also when to unleash. To transform and do all of the hard work in the background so that when life throws you curveballs you are ready. They master themselves, master their life, master the universe. 

Vertex in Sagittarius: It is through faith in themselves, the universe, or that everything will turn out okay that this person gets through the unpredictability of life. There can be a desire to find meaning, especially through spirituality, religion, or a unique philosophy. Sagittarius is a sign that chases truth and by chasing it they can make sense of the world. Being in the role of teacher and student helps them feel right in the universe. They must always be searching, learning, and exploring. 

Vertex in Capricorn: In a world they can’t control this person can face a lot of challenges. They can be tempted into acting authoritative or controlling. However respect and self-authority are important for this person to feel more stable, concrete, fulfilled. To lead others with a level-head and patience is the best route for them. Even better is to focus on their own success and lead by example. This placement is prone to a highly realistic and sometimes negative view of the world and possibly the idea of destiny. This placement can bring about big rewards and depth when they listen to their heart and to loved ones and when they focus. 

Vertex in Aquarius: Aquarius is known for not fearing the unknown and embracing the unpredictable. When Vertex is in this sign there are lessons about acceptance, tolerance, cooperation, and communication. It is the craziness of people and the harm people can do that gets them wanting to become a hermit or to leave the narrative. There can be a temptation to hide away from intimacy, passion, and attachment. The Futurama “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore” meme is for them. Being boxed in by the idea of “destiny” might not appeal to them. To feel fulfilled in life is to feel connected and belonging. Embracing all different types of people and relationships can help them feel more sure of the world, of humanity. 

Vertex in Pisces: This person likely is a strong believer in fate and destiny. If you are one who believes in psychic abilities, this could be a strong indicator for some. This person should be careful of getting lost in wild dreams or a big picture that doesn’t include themselves or include others in their lives. Fate may have big plans for them but it is through their loved ones and how they can help others that they feel most fulfilled. They may feel like life is always throwing them into situations where they are forced to help or to empathize. Learning discernment and protection is important. They don’t need to help or heal everyone, in fact it is in their choice who to help that might make them feel the most sure and solid in life. 

[plus-size-reader]

Why

Cato Hadley x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2108 words

Warnings: none

Summary:  Reader is a tribute for the Hunger Games, no one thinks she’s going to make it until Cato steps in. The one thing you don’t understand is, Why does he care? 

Updated version of “Why Does He Care” an old fan favorite. 

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They knew you wouldn’t win. 

It hadn’t even registered as a possibility in most of their minds, but that didn’t matter all that much. 

All the game makers cared about was that you made a show of it, and if you could, got stabbed in view of one of the thousands of cameras surrounding the arena.

That was all you had to do. 

You weren’t the strongest, the fastest, or the smartest that your district had to offer and everyone seemed to have already come to terms with the fact that you would be leaving the arena in a body bag.

They just didn’t see how a woman of your status and stature could ever hope to compete with others in the games. Against the Careers, a group of highly trained young people whose lives revolved around being able to win, you would surely meet your end. 

However, you weren’t going to just accept defeat right off the bat. 

Even if you didn’t win, you were going to put up one hell of a fight once that canon went off. You owed that to your family, and your district, and yourself. 

No one in their right mind wanted to participate in the Hunger Games,and you certainly didn’t want to either, but you had been chosen to represent your district and you weren’t going to shy away from the responsibility. 

At the very least, you had to try. 

If nothing else, the fact that no one believed in you could serve as an extra push, the push you would need to take down as many other tributes as possible in the process. 

You knew that you could do that. 

Though, that fire did sort of dull as soon as you walked into the large training room, surrounded by all the other tributes from all the other districts. Once you got a look at them up close, you were less sure of yourself than you had ever been. 

How quickly it had all changed.

From the moment you walked into that room, which was more of a cell of brushed aluminum and cool steel, you were forced to recon with the reality of the situation. 

This was happening. 

You were going to die. 

The way in which you would die wasn’t something you were all that fond of considering, but as best you could tell, the Career pack would be to blame. 

Stories of what they were capable of, training tirelessly to volunteer for their games and slaughter the competition were widespread all over Panem but you couldn’t have imagined how intimidating they were in real life. 

Each one of them was a skilled, and accurate, death machine and you had no chance of surviving an altercation with even the weakest among them, who you had ultimately decided was Glimmer. 

She was talented and smart but lacked the determination that the others had. 

Even in her case though, you could see what they always said about the Careers. They were raised to believe there was no other point to their lives other than to win the Hunger Games. 

If they didn’t win, they weren’t worth anything, not that it would matter. If they didn’t win, they would end up just the same as all the rest of you, in a shallow grave somewhere. 

That was just how it was. 

You did your best to keep to yourself at first, not wanting to elicit any more violence than absolutely necessary right off the bad. It was no secret to you that the other tributes didn’t take you seriously. 

The last thing you wanted was for them to try and prove themselves at your expense before you were out in that arena. 

Unfortunately, the other tributes, namely the Careers, had already made up their minds. In the few days that you had been training, they had been making fun of you the entire time.

For them, it was one big joke.

When they looked at you, it was clear that all they saw was the first person they were going to stick their swords into. They didn’t take you seriously at all and at this point, you weren’t even sure if you blamed them. 

Each time you threw a punch or swung your axe at a target, they hooted and hollered from their place on the sidelines and called you out for each imperfection they saw in your maneuvers, and they weren’t wrong. 

You had no idea what you were doing. 

This was all new for you, because where you were from, hand to hand combat just wasn’t something you would have ever come across. Before now, you hadn’t even seen most of the things in front of you here. 

You were out of your element.

By the end of the first week, you hadn’t even begun to make any progress. However, there was one thing that had changed and you couldn’t even pinpoint when or why it had happened. 

At some point, Cato had stopped criticizing you in the same way his compatriots were.

You weren’t sure why he would even bother, but seeing as you didn’t really talk to him, you couldn’t ask. It was much easier to just be silently grateful for the break, and try to focus on what you were doing. 

While it wasn’t looking good to start, you didn’t want to sabotage your chances of survival with any more wasted time.  

The other Careers had noticed the change in him too, but not one of them dared to comment on it, even if it didn’t make any sense to them. The anger that they would risk in doing so just wouldn’t be worth getting answers. 

Instead, they let him do whatever it was he was doing, waving it off as some kind of tactical maneuver. He knew what he was doing, and it wasn’t their place to ask too many questions and get him off his game. 

When Cato first headed in your direction, closing the vast distance between you on the training floor, you assumed that he was intent on proving to you just how out of place you were here. 

...But that couldn't have been farther from the truth. 

In truth, what Cato was doing was far from a tactical measure. More than anything, he just couldn’t bring himself to make fun of you anymore. 

He didn’t think that your weight alone was enough to warrant the constant abuse you were suffering. 

Besides, It was clear that you were putting in a lot of work to get better, which was more than most of the other tributes were doing. You weren’t going to take this lying down, which he could respect. 

From the looks of it, your technique just needed some polishing, and you would be just as good a fighter as anyone here, with the exception of himself.

“You need to strike higher” he prompted, coming out of nowhere and nearly shocking you out of your fighting stance. You had been so focused that you didn’t even hear him approach. 

Still, it didn’t occur to you that he might have been trying to help at first. After all this time, he didn’t strike you as the friendly, just trying to help type. He was much more of the scowl and stab sort of person. 

You couldn’t be blamed for feeling that way. 

“Strike higher” he repeated, closing the space between you to wrap his arm around your frame, moving your axe in the exact way he had been telling you to do. 

There was nothing snide or rude in his tone, but you couldn’t focus on that.

All you could think about were his strong hands on your body, and the clear concern he had for whatever in the world he could have wanted from you. 

You tensed under his touch, desperately trying to decipher how you had gotten to this point or what you were supposed to do now that you were here. 

There was nothing particularly romantic about his touch, which you understood, but it was still foreign to be on the receiving end of. No one had ever held you like this, under any circumstances.

“Hit here, not here” he muttered, his voice far too close to your ear this time, forcing a breath from your lungs you weren’t aware you’d trapped there. He moved the axe, and your arm attached to it, to demonstrate what he meant. 

...And as much as you hated to admit it, he was right. 

When he moved his arms, in succession with his words, he hit the target at jugular height, instead of in the trunk where you had been aiming.

It was a much better hit than you had been landing all day, showing how much more experience he had with this than you. 

“Thanks” you muttered, glancing at him quickly, desperately hoping that he wouldn’t look at you but you wouldn’t have been so lucky.

Cato looked down just at the same moment as you turned your head to take in his profile. 

You expected him to say something about it but he offered nothing, content to just stare back down at you with a slight smirk on his face. 

“Somebody bigger than you is going to be able to push back if you aim here” he explained finally, lightly resting the palm of his right hand against your abdomen where you’d been aiming before. 

It made sense, of course. 

“If you aim at the weakest part, it doesn’t matter how much stronger an opponent is” he hummed, this time bringing that same hand up to where your throat was, not missing the way you gulped under his touch. 

“And you can’t kill anyone aiming at their ankles” he laughed, shrugging at that, as if he shouldn’t have to explain that part to you. Even someone who knew nothing about this wasn’t going to be shocked at that. 

Cato just didn’t want you to think that he was playing some sort of sick game with you. He was really trying to help, even if that wasn’t really in his nature. 

Never in his life had Cato cared about anyone, or been drawn to another person like he was with you. 

His entire life was all about winning the games, and there was nothing more than that. 

That was all he’d ever cared about. 

...But for some reason, making sure that you survived this whole thing was becoming really important to him. 

There was just something about you that he couldn’t put his finger on, but whatever it was, he didn’t have all that much time to figure it out. This whole thing was happening, whether he wanted it to or not. 

The best thing he could do for you was prepare you to survive, with or without him. 

“Oh, I couldn’t kill anyone” you hummed, doing your very best to be as nonchalant about it as you could. You were doing your best to figure out how to protect yourself out there but you had already made you mind up on that front. 

You weren’t going to kill anyone. 

It was something you had decided on before you even knew your name had been drawn the day of the reaping, but this was new information for Cato. 

New information that almost shocked him into silence. 

Cato had always known that he would need to kill someone, at some point. It was never a question in his mind, or something that even had any effect on him. It was part of his life, and to hear that someone else had never even considered it was new for him. 

If you didn’t kill anyone the entire time you were in the arena, you would die. 

You had to know that. 

Surely you knew that. 

“If you don’t, you’re going to die” he spoke, the words leaving his lips before he even had time to react. There was a finality to it, something you hadn’t seen coming, and at first, you thought it may have been a joke. 

The two of you really didn’t know each other all that well, or at all, so making jokes seemed sort of strange but it wasn’t necessarily something that upset you. 

You were just shocked at his urgency. 

This really was something that was bothering him, but there was one thing that was still bothering you. This was the first time you had ever spoken to him in your life, and as flattered as you were that he cared about what happened to you, it didn’t make any sense. 

Why did he care about someone like you?