tfc-hockey

[tfc-hockey]

My favorite genre of sportswriter headline is the inadvertent double entendre

They did WHAT to the Oilers?? 😰

They're doing WHAT to Henrik Lindqvist?? DAILY??? 🥵

[tfc-hockey]

Actually can we cross the streams on this one? Can we get the Blackhawks to sell Connor Bedard to Iron Maiden? I don't think they have any use for a teen boy hockey starlet, but it WOULD be funny. Maybe he can help strike the stage or something, idk. It's got to be better than playing hockey in Chicago.

being a sports fan must be wild imagine if we had to worry about patrick getting sold to weezer or something

[tfc-hockey]

The "I'm so fucked" caption has me in stitches (no offense OP)

Me, knowing that if guys dressed like this start talking to me I will have to kill myself to escape from being invited to some "cool young adults who love to pray" fellowship where at least one of them is for sure going to play guitar as part of their "worship team": I'm so fucked

I’m so fucked

[tfc-hockey]

could not be a hockey player. Big man backs me up to a wall and says you wanna go? I'm getting my wires crossed so bad I go for open mouth kissing do not put me in coach I'll fail in ways previously unknown to science

[tfc-hockey]

I don't even go here (severance) but this slaps

this is like. GENUINELY the best edit i've ever seen in my life. full stop. let me reiterate: not just the best severance edit. THE best edit. the creator doesn't have a tumblr that i can find but i simply had to share.

[tfc-hockey]

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

[tfc-hockey]

the line between vengeful brutal catharsis and gay sex is very thin so be careful out there

[tfc-hockey]

[tfc-hockey]

early aughts nhl players used to get spotted in the bathhouse shaving their ballsacks together and then a well revered pornstar also in the bathhouse would describe their bodies in luxuriant detail particular to their trade. the closest we would get in the modern era to courtesan gossip. now we get fuck all. oh you have a chipotle sponsorship? wow thats cool man. you’re pathetic btw

[tfc-hockey]

it's beautiful how our brains work the same way they did 100,000 years ago. i love and fear and get angry and laugh no different than the corpses before me. i dont think we'll escape that history, no matter how much we convince ourselves we are different.

[tfc-hockey]

psycho💕

[tfc-hockey]

incredible vibes

[tfc-hockey]

matvei michkov seems to try to start a fight with macklin celebrini and gets upset that it doesn't go anywhere | 11.11.24 sjs @ phi

[tfc-hockey]

this was for me specifically

[tfc-hockey]

Matvei Michkov discussing his friendship with Connor Bedard on a Russian podcast. @/uggg_uggg on twitter translated and subtitled it!

Some key points:

Connor reached out to Matvei when Matvei’s dad died and was very kind about it.

At the draft, Connor made it a point to seek Matvei out and sit with him in a room of hundreds. They talked about the other prospects and exchanged numbers.

Connor’s parents also made a point to talk to Matvei and told him he would always be welcome to stay with them if he was ever in Vancouver.

Matvei said that while he couldn’t imagine Connor would ever be in Russia, if he was, he would be welcome to stay with Matvei.

They exchanged numbers and Matvei texted Connor congratulations when he won at World Juniors.

[tfc-hockey]

bro I love how your new girlfriend is exactly like me! but like.. she’s a she yknow.. haha! I kinda resent her for being able to spend that extra time with you, for being closer to you than our platonic binds will let us be.. but it’s ok! she’s a lot like me so, in some corner of your mind, when you make love to her.. ah, well lost my train of thought. anyways I guess I approve of her, she seems to make you happy, she seems to challenge you, so good pick! by the way, off topic but I’m in love with you and have been over the course of our entire friendship, seeing you happy with someone so close to my personality is heartbreaking because I just know that if I were born with tits we would’ve been together already. hah, but whatever! doomed by the narrative! see ya champ!

[tfc-hockey]

STOP HES ALREADY DEAD