#and leo being just the worst student of all four of them -like the complete opposite of how he is in the dojo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spectrumscribe · 7 years ago

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These Days

Inspired by both my utter salt for the current brother-brother dynamics in canon, and the song These Days by the Black Keys.

Previous part, first part, and AO3 version of the series.

Now with a narrative soundtrack to the first four chapters, found here on my 8tracks.

Chapter summary:

To tell a child who they're meant to be, that they have a single destiny, a single future, is to set them up for failure.

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Part Five.

“From now on,” Leo says, continuing despite the shocked noises Raph and Mikey are making. “I’ll be our Sensei, and I’ll expect your respect for that position. It was our father’s dying wish, and I’ll see that I carry it out.”

He sits straight, head held high, and squares his shoulders for the new responsibility he’s just accepted. It’s been long enough spent mourning; he needs to stand back up and continue to be the leader he is to his family. Their father is gone and Leo spending his nights and days missing him won’t help anyone.

He needs to be strong. He needs to be unfaltering. He needs to be the Sensei his father knew he would one day be.

This is destiny. He needs to meet it head on, for the sake of his remaining family.

Raph might take some talking into it- he always does with these things- but at least Leo knows Donnie and Mikey will accept the change in things. While Raph remains someone Leo has to watch for the occasional insubordination, their younger brothers are reliable to always follow orders in the field. It eases some of the worries in Leo’s mind, of something going catastrophically wrong again and this time he’d lose everyone and not just one person-

Donnie nods vaguely, and seems off in his head again. He’s obviously agreeable to how things are going to change, which won’t be much if they’re truthful. Donnie always can see the bigger picture to things, and Leo appreciates that he understands how it’ll play out from now on.

Mikey meanwhile is still giving him a confused and somewhat doubtful expression. “Are you sure that’s what Splinter said?” he asks, stressing his words.

“Yes,” Leo replies confidently, zero hesitation in him. It’s the truth. It’s the truth and it’s the last truth his father ever told him. “He told me,” His throat clenches for a brief moment. “a few hours before we went to rescue Karai and Shinigami.”

Mikey opens his mouth for a moment, and then closes it. Staring at Leo. Donnie remains quiet, eyes focused on something past Leo.

Meanwhile, Raph’s expression slowly shifts, from confused to awe in a strange way, and then he says a quiet, “Huh,” and scratches the back of his head. “You know, I kind of knew it’d happen someday, but… wow.”

Leo smiles warmly. “I know. It was a lot to take in, but I’m proud to do this. It’ll be a bit of an adjustment, even for me, but… this is what he wanted.”

This is what their father wanted. For him, for them, for all of their futures.

It’s a heavy burden, but he’s more than willing to bear it. After all, it’s what he was always destined to do.

He’ll always miss his Sensei, miss being a student and having someone to look to for advice. But, everyone has to grow up sometime, and this is his time to do so. Leo’s been heading for this point his entire life, and all that’s left is to accept it.

He does. He accepts it, and he’s ready. Ready for the responsibility of being a true leader, a Sensei. A mentor to his whole family.

He can do this. He’ll do exactly what his father wanted him to, and he’ll do it without hesitation. This is what the rest of their lives are going to look like; him, at the head of their family, and his brothers, following his lead as they embark on whatever comes after their war.

Leo keeps smiling as Raph starts teasing him about testing his skills one more time before really accepting Leo’s mentorship, and Donnie and Mikey remain quiet as they digest what Leo’s told them. They’ll accept it fully soon enough, no rush. After all, they’ve got their whole lives ahead of them to do so.

But then Leo wakes up one evening, weeks after that first one, and finds Donnie and Mikey’s beds empty.

It takes a while to notice it. After he gets up, Leo goes straight into the dojo. A short prayer to his father’s altar, and then he gears up for an early evening solo training session. Just to warm up, to erase any lingering fatigue from a restless day’s sleep.

He likes training. It’s simple, straight forwards. More familiar than his own name is. Even when nights or days happen where it feels like his world’s been flipped upside down, or he’s struggling to find even ground to stand on, there’s always training. There’s always the sound of his swords slicing through the air, constant and comforting until he sheathes them.

He loves training. Loves it. There’s nothing else so simple, so easy to control. Every move planned, every step placed as it’s needed, every intake of breath steady and patterned.

It’s just him, the dojo, and his swords when he’s training alone. It’s possibly his favorite state to be in, out of all the states he’s been in. It’s definitely better than his worst ones.

He stops somewhere around eight. Exactly one hour of training complete and done with. Leo’s legs and arms burn pleasantly, and he feels collected in his wits. Ready for another evening with his brothers, their friends and whatever the night will bring.

He goes into the kitchen after a rub down, and finds that there’s still no one else awake. Not unusual, since Mikey tends to sleep through most of the evening these days, and Raph refuses to rise before eight thirty. God knows when Donnie will; either he’s already awake and has been awake all day, and will crash soon enough from a sciencing spree. Or, he’ll stumble out of whichever room he passed out in, grab coffee, and disappear back into wherever his head is this evening. Leo rarely knows, and doesn’t ask unless it’s vital to a mission for Donnie to be in good form. Their father always seemed to trust Donnie to know what he was doing anyways; Leo sees no reason to change that method of handling Donnie’s eccentricities, now that he’s the one in charge.

Raph joins him in the kitchen five minutes past the half hour, and blearily steals a piece of Leo’s cold dinner leftovers.

“You know when Mike’s getting up?” he asks after a yawn. Raph bites into the quarter of grilled cheese he stole, chews, and swallows. “I want real breakfast food for once.”

Leo shrugs, and sets down his most recent sci-fi novel pick. He only got it a week ago, and he’s taking his time to savor. “Maybe you should go wake him up. He shouldn’t sleep in so long anyways, it’s not healthy.”

“Mgh, yeah, guess I should. He’s such a little shit when he first gets up, though.”

“Like you’re not,” Leo comments blandly.

Raph shoots him a glare, which Leo ignores, and then stalks back out of the kitchen. Apparently, Leo’s brother’s need for warm food overrules his annoyance with having to deal with a sleep-stupid Mikey. Leo will have to snitch off that platter of whatever Mikey whips up, before Raph and their brother eat everything.

Donnie should really show himself soon, otherwise he won’t get a share of it at all.

Leo finishes the last bits of his grilled cheese, just as Raph comes back into the kitchen.

“Did he say somethin’ about going out at all tonight?” Raph asks. “Because he’s not in his bed.”

“…not that I remember?” Leo says, thinking back to the previous night. All he gets is Mikey’s usual string of nonsense; all of it melding together into a cloud of meaningless noise.

“Text him. I’m gonna poke in the lab and see if he’s bothering Donnie again.”

Leo nods, and stands up from the kitchen island. Raph and he separate, going opposite directions in their home. Leo hears the lab doors pulled open as he ascends the stairs into the bedroom hallway, and he heads towards his room to get his t-phone off the desk where it’s been charging.

On a whim, he stops to open the door into Donnie’s room; just to see if Donnie’s asleep and Mikey’s been messing in the lab unsupervised.

Leo opens the door completely when he sees no one is in bed, and scratches his throat idly. Odd, since he hasn’t heard any explosions or yelling from the lab this evening so far, and neither of those is ever absent when Mikey starts interfering with Donnie’s things, while Donnie is still present.

Leo turns to walk away, and then pauses in the open doorway.

Wait.

…has Donnie’s room always been so empty looking?

Leo hears footsteps approaching, and he steps backwards into the hallway again. Raph comes towards him with a terse grimace, and before Leo can ask him about the contents of Donnie’s room and if he’s imagining things, Raph says-

“They’re not in the lab, and the door out to the garage tunnel was open. The Shellraiser’s gone.”

Leo’s brow furrows. That’s… weird. “Are you sure they’re not in there? You know how lost Donnie gets in all those machines of his-”

“Yeah, but there’s something about that too,” Raph interrupts. His grimace gets deeper. “You ever notice that his lab isn’t as crowded as it used to be?”

“…what?”

“Like. Most of his shit is gone. Gone, gone. Not wrecked or pushed to the side, but… missing.”

Leo stares at Raph, trying to make sense of that sentence. Maybe Donnie’s just spring cleaning and Mikey is helping him, as unlikely as those scenarios are. But… what about his room? Donnie never gets rid of anything in there; he’s always packing it away into some nook or cranny to save for later, claiming they never know when they might need something.

Leo steps out of Raph’s way and points into Donnie’s bedroom. “You should look at this, then.”

Raph turns towards the open doorway, and moves closer to it. He reaches in, and as he turns on the light, Leo’s suspicions are confirmed.

The shelves of Donnie’s room are strangely empty, only a few books and miscellaneous objects left on them. His bed is neat and made, in a way it never is. His stacks of laptops are all gone.

Leo doesn’t see Donnie’s bo staff anywhere, and his brother hasn’t left it behind anywhere in nearly two and a half years.

Mikey isn’t in his bed. Donnie’s stuff is missing. The Shellraiser is gone.

“Raph,” Leo says, feeling a little displaced from things. “Go look in Mikey’s room again. I’m texting them right away.”

Raph goes to look, and Leo goes to grab his phone. There are no texts from either of their brothers, nothing to explain where they might have gone. Leo sends a quick message to them both, asking where they’ve gone off to, and why Donnie’s rooms are so empty.

Raph comes back before Donnie or Mikey replies, and he’s starting to look the way he always does when he’s angry as well as worried.

“There’s nothing but garbage in there,” Raph says, which isn’t unusual, because Mikey’s room has always been a trash heap, but- “Literally just garbage. Everything else is gone.” Which is weird. Like Donnie’s empty room, lab, and the missing Shellraiser are weird. “Even that stupid stuffed bear he’s got is missing, and he never lets that thing leave his room.”

An uncomfortable feeling settles in Leo’s stomach.

Leo’s messages remain unanswered, but he sends another text anyways.

What’s going on? Where did you go?

Still no answer.

“Maybe they told April or Casey?” Leo suggests, taking his eyes off the small screen in his hands.

“Maybe,” Raph says in a way that means he doubts they did.

Leo frowns, and texts their friends anyways. Both of them reply within a few minutes, and say the same thing. They don’t know where Leo’s brothers have gone. Leo doesn’t truthfully answer their questions about why he’s asking; no sense in worrying them just yet. Not when there’s a high chance that Mikey’s just convinced Donnie of some convoluted scheme, somehow involving all their things disappearing, and the two of them will just come home soon enough. Or, it’s Donnie who’s gone and gotten a harebrained scheme in that unfathomable skull of his, and the two of them are off getting into b-team shenanigans. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Leo still feels a curdle of worry in his gut, even with those assurances to himself, and shoots his brothers one last polite text reminding them to not be late for midnight training. Hopefully, it’s nothing; just his brothers getting up to trouble and not anything more.

Leo keeps that thought close to his chest, and doesn’t let himself worry too deeply. If he knows his brothers, they’ll probably resolve whatever’s going on on their own, or call for help if they can’t handle it. That’s the knowledge uses to soothe his concerns, and he lets it push the majority of them away.

And then Raph finds the note.

Me and Donnie are taking a vacation a break from home for a while. Just a few weeks or something. I’m really sorry but we just

We’re fine. There’s no bad guy or mind control or something something evil plot whatever. It’s just us b-team younger bros taking some time to ourselves. We’ll be back soon.

Or whenever we sort out our shit which will be who the fuck knows when, like ha ha you wouldn’t believe the stupid stuff I got up in my head it’s one big fucking disas

I can’t tell you where we went, and we didn’t tell anyone else. It’s a private thing for us, we just need a little time a secret retreat thing, like from anime or something. Chill time from home and chill time for you two from us. Win win, right? I’m sorry, I know it’s a bad time but we just

Sorry we didn’t give you a heads up but we were pretty sure you wouldn’t let us we wanted it to be a surprise!

Surprise!!

Take care, we’ll come home whenever. Enjoy the vay-cay, kay?

Leo calls Mikey right after finding the nearly illegible note, the crossed out words making everything else that much harder to read.

He doesn’t get an answer.

He calls again.

No one answers.

He calls Donnie.

Donnie doesn’t answer either.

He calls them both again, and again, and again.

Neither phone line is picked up. All Leo gets is the dial tone and then voicemail. Again and again.

Raph calls their friends meanwhile. April and Casey, the Mutanimals- even Karai, and by extension, Shinigami. Not one of them knows anything about what’s happened.

April comments she’s been getting less texts from Donnie lately, seen him hardly at all. Leatherhead- using the communal phone of the Mutanimals’ hideout- says he hasn’t seen Mikey in a while either. It’s not a comforting sign.

After the first two hours of calling and texting, to their brothers as well as their meager social group, Leo is beginning to get annoyed. A little hurt as well.

Donnie is more than smart enough to take care of himself, and Mikey is… well, Mikey. He made it through Dimension-X; he can make it through a couple nights on the streets of New York, especially with Donnie along for the ride. Leo knows that they’re not likely to be in any real danger, even with the military still side-eyeing them for the Tokka incident, and Don Vizioso’s anti-mutant sentiments. Between the two of them, they’ll be fine however long they want to drag out this misadventure.

But, Leo is annoyed that they picked up and left without warning, without asking him permission. Their Sensei, their leader. He’s the one who makes final calls in this family, and the last two people he really expected to go AWOL have up and disappeared with hardly a goodbye. The messy note Mikey left them isn’t nearly enough of an explanation to anything.

And, he’s hurt. Because a vacation from the somewhat stifling walls of the lair would be nice, and they haven’t done anything as a group in a while. Leo feels excluded, considering that Donnie and Mikey will probably cook up all sorts of shenanigans together, and he’s been left out of it. Raph, too. Not very fair of them, since the four of them have always shared experiences equally. Including the fun ones.

They could have at least hinted that they were thinking of doing this. Really. It wouldn’t have been that hard to give him and Raph a heads up. A surprise- sure, that’s one way of spelling purposeful exclusion.

Leo is mildly worried, but mostly annoyed and surly. If anything, he expects Donnie to get sick of Mikey’s over-exuberance sooner than later, or Mikey to get bored of whatever long-winded science spiel Donnie has gotten caught up in tonight. They’ll come home soon enough, since he knows the two of them are such polar opposites they can’t share close quarters for more than a few hours without snapping.

One way or another, they’ll be back soon, and then Leo can sit them down and give them a thorough talking-to about desertion without warning, and disrespect to authority in general. Maybe he’ll ground them, too. He can do that now; he is Sensei.

“What’s the smile for?” Raph asks moodily, glancing away from a comic he’s likely not really reading. He’s as annoyed and put-out as Leo is, the two of them sitting in the living room as they while away the hours until their brothers return home.

“I’m going to ground Donnie and Mikey for a whole week,” Leo says smugly. “whenever they get back, because I can and they deserve it.”

Raph considers that for a moment, and then grins. “Sounds about right. Forgot you could do that now.”

“It’s a perk of being Sensei,” Leo replies.

“Don’t go gettin’ a big head over it, though. And don’t try that shit on me.”

“I won’t if you don’t force me to.”

Raph’s good humor slips for a moment, and Leo sees that they’ve neared the line between seriousness and joking.

“Sure,” Raph says, going back to his comic. “whatever you say, Sensei.” He says the last bit with more than a hint of sarcasm, which Leo benevolently lets slide. He’s got enough problems with their brothers at the moment; no point in picking a fight with Raph right this second. If he did that every time Raph was rude to him, they’d never get anything done.

Leo chooses to brush away his concerns about his brothers and their issues with listening to his orders; returning to the novel in his hands. He’ll address Raph’s belligerent mini-rebellions sometime later, as well as Donnie and Mikey’s impromptu runaway attempt; which can’t last much longer than tonight and possibly tomorrow. They’ll drive each other nuts until they come home, and then everything will go back to normal once Leo’s punished them sufficiently for worrying their family.

The situation is still well under control, despite the first few hours of mild panic and anxiety. He’ll just wait for them to come home, talk to them about their poor choices and recklessness, and then they’ll all settle back into their routine again.

Simple, and all he has to do now is wait, and keep Raph’s temper under watch. Nothing unusual about their evening, just the two of them, except…

The lair is oddly empty, missing Donnie and Mikey’s presences.

Leo turns the page of his novel, and doesn’t think about that.

Leo texts his brothers once more before he goes to sleep, reminding them that what they’re doing is irresponsible and inconsiderate to the whole of their family. His other texts and calls remain ignored, and the final text does as well.

He’s a little miffed about that. Just because they’ve decided to take a trip doesn’t mean they should be ignoring him. It’s dangerous to them all to fall out of contact, not to mention plain disrespectful to Leo’s position as their Sensei.

He tucks those annoyances aside, and goes to sleep a little before the sun rises fully aboveground.

He wakes up expecting… he’s not sure what he’s expecting, but a quietly empty home isn’t what it.

Donnie and Mikey’s beds are still unslept in, and the Shellraiser is still gone. Leo’s phone has no texts from anyone other than his friends, asking if Donnie and Mikey have been located yet.

Leo expected his brothers to come home, at least one of them, sometime during the day or late afternoon. Donnie, because he never strays from his work in the lab longer than a few hours, or from their multiple vehicles needing attention in the garage. Mikey, because Leo’s youngest sibling is prone to lackadaisical jumps in interest, and is surely missing his games and TV by this point. One of them. Both of them.

Neither of them are home.

It’s just Leo, up at the same time as he always is, standing in a large, silent home. Alone.

He frowns, but tells himself that his siblings are due home soon enough, even if they’ve lasted on their own longer than he thought they would. Maybe their tolerance of each other’s eccentricities has gotten better without him noticing. Maybe they’re just being stubborn. Leo doesn’t really care; he just wants them back home where he can keep an eye on them both.

He goes through his hour long solo session. It’s not as calming as he’d hoped it to be, but he’s fine regardless. By the time Raph wanders out of his bedroom, twenty minutes past the half hour of his usual waking time, Leo is collected in his own mind again.

Raph gives him a mildly exasperated look, edging towards frustration. “They’re still not home?” He asks, clearly having checked the same signs as Leo.

Leo shrugs. “No. I texted them again, but I haven’t gotten a reply even once.”

Raph narrows his eyes, and heads for the fridge. “Assholes. They could at least text back. Or I guess Donnie could; he’d probably give a better explanation than Mikey.”

Leo hums agreeably, because that’s a true enough assumption. “Pass me the milk? My coffee needs more than I thought.”

“Uh… can’t,” Raph says, lifting the carton out, squinting at the inside. “It’s kind of basically empty.”

“What? But Mikey said he went grocery shopping just a few days ago.”

“He probably thought he did, but forgot,” Raph says with a roll of his eyes. He tosses the carton into the trash and goes looking in the fridge again. “Probably got distracted somewhere along the way, jeeze. And those two think they can make it on their own…”

Leo grumbles, and sips his not-milky-enough coffee. Mikey had been saying he was on top of all the grocery runs; all the evenings he’s been in and out the past while should have given him ample time to pick up what they needed. Likely speaking, Leo and Raph’s brother had been lying about actually being on top of things, and been just goofing off instead.

Leo adds milk to his list of items to take care of, and finishes his coffee. He’ll reprimand Mikey when he gets back for lying about his chores, particularly about one they all depend on.

There’s no hot food, again, and he and Raph have to settle for cereal without milk and dwindling leftovers.

Leo texts Mikey once for the forgotten chore subject, and then again as the night goes on; all without a single reply from either b-team member. The ignoring thing is definitely on purpose, which is really starting to bother Leo. They could at least say when they’ll be home, or where they’ve gone to hide and play.

Honestly, sometimes he thinks he’s the only one their father managed to raise with any sense of social awareness. Or any sense of responsibility.

Leo feels very often like he’s the only one to take their clan code, family code, anything code seriously. Their father’s word, as well. He doesn’t understand why Raph so often rebels, or Mikey flat out ignores, or Donnie just doesn’t even notice. The ways of their inherited clan, of their father’s teachings, are everything to Leo. Something to hold onto now that Splinter has passed, to provide stability and guidance. And yet his brothers still wander from them.

It’s confusing and irksome. But, Leo supposes that it’s just another sign of why he was destined to be the next clan leader, and his siblings were not. Clear as day, he’s better suited to the role.

Now if his brothers would just listen to him properly, everything would be perfect.

Leo spends the rest of the evening and night fielding concerned texts from April and Casey. They’re not getting answers from his brothers either and they’re actually starting to really worry. Leo reminds them not to; he knows his brothers better than anyone, and he knows they’ll be home soon. There’s nowhere else for them to go, and no one besides their small social group to reach out to. The moment they do, Leo will know minutes later. They can only avoid him and Raph for so long like this, without causing serious worry in their friends and annoyance in Leo and Raph.

Either they’ll come home tonight, or they’ll reach out to one of their mutual friends and reveal where they’ve gotten off to. In any case, it can’t be much longer until his siblings come home.

Leo hopes it’s soon, since Raph has begun stalking around moodily, rather than just sitting and reading. The punching bag is getting a fair amount of use the longer the night goes on, and Leo has a feeling Raph will have a lot to say to their wayward siblings, once they’re home. They all know worrying Raph just makes him mad, and the longer you worry him the madder he’ll get. It’ll just get more dramatic the longer things drag out.

Likely how things will play out is their brothers will come home, Raph will snarl and smack them a little for making him worry, Leo will give them a stern lecture of responsibility and dedication, the two of them will be grounded for a week, and then Donnie and Mikey will apologize for having worried them so much. After that, it’ll all go back to normal.

Leo is confident in that scenario, even as his texts go unanswered and April and Casey begin expressing real concern.

Leo is confused why he wakes up the third night, and finds still only Raph in the lair with him.

The Shellraiser remains gone. Donnie and Mikey’s things remain gone. They remain gone.

Leo is just plain annoyed at this point. How much longer can they really stand each other and keep up whatever ridiculous plan they have going? Not to mention the increasingly frustrating radio silence on their end.

You’re being incredibly immature, not even replying to our texts, he texts Mikey. And, I thought out of the two of you, at least You’d be sensible enough to know when to cut the shenanigans, to Donnie. It’s a little passive-aggressive, but Leo feels he’s in the right at this moment in time. They’re being ridiculous, and he and Raph are suffering through unnecessary worry for it.

Not to mention they’ve missed multiple training sessions. How are they supposed to remain a well-oiled machine if one half of their team doesn’t even show up for training? Just because the Shredder is gone doesn’t mean they’re safe. They have to stay in shape, keep their reflexes sharp.

Donnie and Mikey don’t reply to his texts, and don’t come home either. Leo feels his annoyance grow about that, as well as his small pool of worry.

But that’s nothing compared to the steady climb of temper that Raph has going on. Three days, not a peep, and Leo is stuck with Raph alone as his brother reaches his tipping point. When he gets worried, Raph gets mad- he gets mad about everything, it sometimes feels- and he tends to take it out on either whatever’s causing him worry, or the nearest person/object.

The punching dummy must feel special, getting so much attention.

Leo stays outside Raph’s range, and rolls his eyes as his brother grumbles and gripes.

Finally, on the wayside of late evening and after another unsatisfying breakfast of cold food, Raph throws his hands up and says, “I’m going back to the Mutanimals. Mikey’s probably been hanging around there, and maybe he’s let slip to Leatherhead where they’re hiding out.”

Leo considers the idea for a moment, and then decides to agree. It’s a solid enough guess; the idea of Mikey going to his favorite friend’s home and accidentally blabbing where he and Donnie have snuck off to. To add to that, Leo will check in with April again in case Donnie’s done the same with her.

His concern dies down, now that they’ve got a plan of action. Sometimes, even though their behavior’s purpose escapes him, Donnie and Mikey are predictable in where they’ll fall. It’s why they’re the B-team, and Leo and Raph are the A-team. Simple reasoning.

Mikey hasn’t been to the Mutanimals’ home at all, as it turns out. No phone calls either.

Raph kicks a nearby skate ramp as they get that news, startling Mondo Gecko enough he leaps to the other side of it. Leo just frowns and crosses his arms, staring up at Slash.

“Are you positive they haven’t been here,” Leo asks again. “and that they didn’t, say, tell you to cover for them if they have?”

Slash’s own arms are crossed as he glares down at Leo. Leo refuses to shrink under the glare. He knew Slash when he was still Spike; munching on leaves and acting as Raph’s confidant. He’s not scared of the tortoise.

“No, they haven’t, and no, we haven’t,” Slash growls out. “I wouldn’t keep that sort of thing from you, never mind from Raph. If they’d been here, you’d know already.”

Leo keeps frowning, nearly glaring himself, before he lets the expression drop. “Okay. Sorry for the suspicion, but… we’re just really starting to worry. They won’t reply to our texts at all.”

Slash’s own expression softens, and he puts a large hand on Leo’s shoulder. No one’s done that since his father died, and it feels somewhat uncomfortable. “I understand you’re feelin’ worried, Leo. Raph, too. I’ll keep my eye out for Don and Mike for you, and give word soon as I have a location or sighting, promise.”

“That’d be really appreciated,” Leo says truthfully, even as he subtly shakes off Slash’s hand. “Thank you for that, really.”

“And you will tell us the moment you see them, correct?” Leatherhead rumbles from his position beside the skate ramp, near Mondo. The large croc mutant is giving Leo a serious look; one that means he really does want Leo to tell him the moment they find his brothers. Leo figures it’d be best to do just that, because while Leatherhead has mellowed over the years, his protectiveness of Mikey remains a real trigger for his anger. At least it’ll work in their favor, the croc mutant’s desire to see Mikey and Donnie safe being the same as Leo and Raph’s.

“Of course,” Leo agrees easily, giving an encouraging and confident smile to Leatherhead. “and then I’ll send Mikey your way right after, alright?”

Leatherhead nods slowly, accepting Leo’s words of comfort.

Raph, however, growls out, “Yeah, right after I’m done knockin’ the little turd’s head straight again. Donnie’s too, if this keeps up. God.”

Leo sighs at Raph’s, as usual, aggressive language and poorly hidden concern. It’s been grating on his nerves, almost as much as his own worry has been. And really, talking like that in front of Leatherhead probably isn’t the smartest move. If Leo can control his own worry, then Raph should be able to, too.

They make a stop by April’s home on the way back to their own, to check in if she’s heard anything from Donnie as well as to just say hi, but find her room dark and empty. No other lights are on in the apartment either, which means Kirby is sleeping and they’re not welcome.

It strikes Leo a little odd, that April is gone so late in the night without even a greeting their way, but he settles for just shooting a questioning text. She doesn’t reply immediately, which makes him frown. Does anyone on this team respect his authority anymore? He’s beginning to doubt it. And it’s odd feeling, too. They’ve come so far as a team, been through so much and come out stronger for it. It’s bizarre how they’re falling out of sync; first Leo’s brothers, then April…

The feeling that he’s losing control of his own team, not long after becoming their Sensei, is another tick on Leo’s list of frustrations. He’s worked so hard for so long- and just when he’s achieved what he views as the final step, they start tearing up his hard work?

His father trusted him to keep their family together, to guide his brothers and friends. The fact that his team is trying to break away like this, break up everything he and they have worked for- it’s just not something he can tolerate quietly.

He’s worried about his brothers, and partially about April, but he’s starting to be more so angry with them. He doesn’t understand why any of them are doing the things they are, and that lack of understanding just makes his anger harder to tamp down on.

Raph bumps into Leo as they get home, and his brother snaps “watch it” as he does. Which makes Leo’s eyes narrow, and his own carefully controlled temper hitch for a moment.

“Just because you’re worried, doesn’t mean you get to be rude, Raph.”

“Piss off,” is Raph’s imaginative response, stalking away further into the lair.

Leo’s mouth forms a flat, unimpressed line, and his words are just as. “I already have two brothers being troublemakers at the moment, I don’t need another.” When Raph keeps walking, Leo raises his voice. “That means you, Raph.”

“Oh go fuck yourself, Leo,” Raph snaps back over his shoulder. “I got enough problems; I don’t need you nit-pickin’ everything I do, too. I’m not your lackey.”

“No, you’re my student, and I’m your Sensei, and you’re supposed to listen to what I have to say,” Leo’s tone gets sharper with each word, like the prickly feelings in his chest do. “Whether you like it, or not.”

His brother pauses, and turns to give a narrow look. “I told you not to try that shit with me,” Raph says in a low tone. “Splinter might’ve said you got all that authority, but I’m not gonna roll over and let you make me fall in line. I’m not Donnie or Mikey.”

Leo scoffs. “Like either of them are doing that at the moment.”

“Maybe they’ve got the right idea.”

Leo’s flat grimace turns downwards.

“What did you say to me?”

“I said,” Raph says, taking a step back towards the lair entrance. “maybe they’ve got the right idea. You’re kind of a jackass when you get it in your head like this, fearless. So maybe you might wanna step off before you lose another student of yours.”

Leo’s fists curl themselves, and he feels prickly hot anger rise up in him. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Raph says, teeth bared, his entire posture asking for a fight. “Back off.”

Leo takes a slow breath, and then steps down the stairs. He strides slowly across the stone floor, right into Raph’s space as his brother does the same. Leo is taller, so he looks down at Raph as they don’t break eye contact.

“Are you really so desperate to be the rebellious second son,” Leo says, slow and pointed. “that you’d spit on what- what your own father, our father, told us? The very last thing he ever told us?”

The flash of pain and grief Leo sees in Raph’s eyes is what he intended to put there. Raph doesn’t get to act like he’s the only one angry, or hurt, or worried; not when Leo is just as. Their father’s word is something Leo still holds higher than anything, and to have Raph defy it so openly, after all the grief they’ve gone through since Splinter’s death- it’s not something Leo can let slide.

Raph’s shoulders rise as his teeth clench, and Leo more than expects the tide of fury that follows.

“You take that back,” Raph hisses through his teeth.

“Am I wrong?” Leo asks, because he’s tired and tense and Raph doesn’t get to act like this. Not without someone pushing back against all his antagonistic behavior. “You were always looking for a reason to push the boundary of his rules, and now you’re looking to do the same with mine.”

“Shut up.”

Leo pushes on, because he’s been keeping himself so tightly wound and clashing with Raph has always pushed him over the limit. Their brothers are missing, their friends are no help, and Leo needs an outlet. Raph gets to lose it- so why can’t he? “Our father made one, one last request, and you can’t even respect that. No, you have to keep pushing and pushing and keep looking for another reason, as always, to start yet another fight with someone-”

Raph’s shoulders shake. “I said shut up.”

Leo’s lips curl back, and he keeps going. Keeps going with all the hot-terrible things that’ve built up inside him for years. “-because you’re bored, or tired, or grumpy, or hell, just feel like it, because you’re the second son who’s just jealous he didn’t get to be the first son, or the leader, or hear the last request our father ever made to us-”

Leo cuts off, because Raph punches him in the jaw.

Leo doesn’t talk to Raph the entire fourth day. Raph doesn’t talk to Leo the entire fourth day.

Neither of them makes any effort to breach the bitter, frustrated silence in their home.

Leo’s jaw, chest, and shoulders hurt from where Raph laid into him. From the way Raph limps slightly in and out of the kitchen- the single moment of eye contact between them the entire night- Leo knows his brother is also smarting from their fight.

They haven’t fought like this is a long while; most of their disagreements remaining in words only. Physical fighting hasn’t been brought into things for possibly years. Mostly, it was Raph and Mikey who got physical in their arguments. Or, it was Raph who got physical; Mikey just ran his mouth until he got shut up.

Leo is properly angry now. Angry with Raph, for causing extra trouble Leo does not need to deal with right now, and angry with their brothers for causing this fight in the first place. It’s Donnie and Mikey’s fault, disappearing and stirring up discourse in their family. If they’d just stayed home, stayed in line, then Leo and Raph wouldn’t be fighting, and neither of them would be angry with their brothers.

Leo’s bruised jaw throbs when he touches it, and it feels like his rising and receding temper.

Four days without even a how do you do and Donnie and Mikey stubbornly remain out of contact. April continues to be AWOL, another person Leo can’t keep track of, and Casey’s texts and calls keep being useless check-ins to see if there’s any new info. The Mutanimals’ are unhelpful, Karai won’t answer her phone, and Shinigami only picked up hers once to tell Leo they’re busy and can’t talk-

Everything is falling apart, and Leo blames his younger brothers for causing it all the happen.

“What would you do, father?” Leo asks the altar, rubbing his throat scars. They itch tonight, like the ones on his leg so. They always itch when he starts getting really stressed out.

He looks at the pictures of his father, at the one center of the altar, and waits for an answer.

None come to him.

Leo stares at his father’s photograph for a moment longer, feeling the ebb and flow of grief that strikes right to his core, and then turns away.

He goes and sits where his father always did, Splinter’s favorite meditation spot in front of their tree. A part of him is comforted by the action, and another is saddened that he is even allowed to sit in this spot now. A part of him remains angry; a part of him is hurt and tired.

Mostly, he’s frustrated, and he just wants his brothers to come home so things will go back to normal.

Leo closes his eyes, and tries to meditate away the worst of his anger. It only works to a point.

He sends another few texts to Donnie and Mikey, reminding them they have to come home, that they should know just how much grief they’re causing everyone with their increasingly ridiculous stubbornness, and that the longer this goes on, the worse the consequences for them all will be.

After they’re sent, he finds he doesn’t really feel better for writing those things out. He reminds himself that his words are justified, that he’s in the right- but it doesn’t really matter either way. He gets no answer.

The fourth day ends like so. Leo goes to sleep, tight and unhappy in his chest. He doesn’t even say good morning to Raph before that, and the messages in his phone do nothing to fix anything.

The next evening, there’s an unspoken resolution to the argument. Raph wakes up a full half hour past when he usually does, and sits down across from Leo; who has added an extra half hour solo workout session. Neither of them says sorry, but the fight is dropped regardless.

They finish the last of the bread together for toast, share the butter bowl by passing it back and forth, and Raph gets the jam from the fridge when asked. Maybe he feels badly for throwing the first punch, like Leo feels badly for going too far with his words.

Leo doesn’t ask. He takes the jam, eats his bland tasting whole wheat toast, and silently agrees to the ceasefire.

“Casey says April stopped answering her phone,” Raph says conversationally, a little while after breakfast. The two of them are in the dojo; Leo doing slow tai-chi, and Raph doing bicep curls with a weight. “You think it’s because she’s with Donnie and Mikey?”

Leo breathes out slowly as he moves through his steps, thinking on that idea. “Possibly. She and Donnie are close, so I wouldn’t put it past him to have convinced her to do something like that.”

“Hn. I’ll bet Mikey did somethin’ like that with Leatherhead. Slash keeps saying they haven’t been through, but you know… we didn’t get to talk with Leatherhead directly.”

A good point. “Do you think we should try them again?”

Raph grunts, and switches hands. “It wouldn’t hurt.”

They finish the half-hearted workout, and take the Party Wagon over to the Mutanimals’ hideout. The exchange goes about as well as Leo should’ve expected.

Raph’s temper had only just been mildly curbed from their fight, and Leo’s refocused calm slips easier than he wants it to. He admits in private that they’d gotten a tad forceful and sharp with their allies, after the fifth time Leatherhead had growled that he didn’t know where their brothers had gone, or why they’d gone.

An unsettled itch is making itself home in Leo’s spine, standing in the Mutanimals’ base and arguing without any real gain or purpose. That itch persists, prickly and unpleasant, and it does nothing to help Leo’s negotiative skills during the argument.

Leo might’ve snapped a little, and Raph definitely yelled a bit. Even if it resulted in Leatherhead rising up and reminding them how much larger he is than them, and Slash yelling right back at them that they’re all just as worried about Leo’s brothers- a part of Leo feels at least a little better, having gotten a chance to vent a portion of his frustrations. Even if it’d been misdirected.

The itch remains in his spine and senses, even as Leo turns away from the Mutanimals and goes to exit the hideout. He tries to brush it off along with the residual angry feelings festering in his chest, and it only stays with him for another few blocks from the hideout.

They leave no more informed than they had the other times. And, as they drive past April’s apartment, they see no sign of lights on at all. Either she’s asleep early, for the first time in a long, long time, or she’s still out and about and completely AWOL. Leo is betting on the second.

“D’you wanna check for sure?” Raph asks in a subdued tone, leaning out the passenger window. Now that he’s gotten out the more explosive parts of his temper, Leo knows he’ll be less likely to cause any more fights.

“No,” Leo replies, and pushes down on the gas. “I seriously doubt she’ll be home.”

“’cause that’d be too easy,” Raph mutters belligerently. Leo hums in agreement, and drives them back home. He’d take them to check in with Karai and Shinigami, but when he’d called earlier he had been told very clearly, and curtly, by Shinigami that they were still busy with something. And then she’d hung up on him, because people were just so polite to Leo lately.

They meander with errands for a while; hitting the nearest grocery stores and picking up the food Mikey had failed to bring home like he was supposed to. They have to actually commit property damage tonight, slicing the wires of cameras to avoid being seen. Usually, it's Donnie’s job to hack the system and set up a video loop for however long they’re inside.

But then, Donnie isn’t here, because he’s missing just like Mikey is.

The abandonment of their jobs only serves to further ruin Leo’s mood. Raph’s sullen silence notes clearly that he feel the same way. They grab what they need, and don’t talk about their current grievances out loud.

The drive home is quiet; just the groceries in the canvas bags between them making any noise. It’s probably for the best, since their moods would likely spark another fight. Leo’s jaw is only just starting to stop feeling painful. He doesn’t need a twin on the other side.

They get into the tunnel garage, parking the Party Wagon and getting out, just before Raph’s t-phone rings.

When he answers it, Leo sees Raph’s eyes go wide.

“You fucking kidding me?” Raph spits. He yanks back open the car door. “Get the hell back in, Leo. Mikey just left the Mutanimals’ place.”

Leo spares a fleeting moment of confusion, shock- and then burns rubber.

They get there too late, and have no luck scouring the surrounding area for any sign of Mikey. Leo curses loud as Raph does, because it figures the one time Mikey really utilizes some of his skills and brainpower, it’s to keep avoiding his own family.

When Leo marches into the Mutanimals’ hideout, he does so with the intent to chew out Slash, for letting Leatherhead overrule his team leader’s orders, for letting him overrule Leo’s orders about immediately tipping them off of Mikey’s location- but comes up short as Leatherhead looms over him and Raph both.

A stutter in his momentum, but Leo recovers and says, “We had an agreement. The moment you heard from or found my brothers, you were supposed to tell me, tell us both. Not- just let him run off again- do you know how worried we’ve been about him-?”

“You have no right to be,” Leatherhead abruptly growls harshly. And that makes Leo stop for a moment, if only because of the absurdity of that sentence.

“Excuse me?” Leo says, and he means every bit of sharpness to his words.

Leatherhead takes a step into Leo’s space as well as Raph’s, and Leo is reminded once again that he’s much smaller than the crocodile mutant. He takes an involuntary step backwards as Leatherhead’s maw of teeth opens in front of him.

“You have. No right.” Leatherhead says again, huge fists curling and uncurling; claws on display. Leatherhead’s eyes move slowly to Raph, and narrow with open hostility. “Neither of you do. And…” He turns back to Leo, and in that second, Leo remembers that he’s never actually won a fight against Leatherhead.

“You are both very lucky Michelangelo told me not to do anything.”

“...what the hell are you talking about?” Raph asks, equal parts furious and confused.

Leo’s hand is on his sword before he realizes the subconscious movement; because Leatherhead’s deep throated growl goes right through his plastron. He feels Raph similar tension beside him, and knows his brother’s hands are on his sais. None of them move.

The large mutant looks down at them for a long moment- and Leo can feel him looking down on them in more ways than one- before saying, “It’s not my place to explain,” and turning his back on them.

Leatherhead leaves, long tail dragging across the floor, and with the parting words of, “Leave my home, and leave your brothers alone. That is all I have to say to you.”

It takes a full minute, after Leatherhead ushers Mondo out of the room with him and it’s just Slash and Dr. Rockwell left- but Raph explodes into the furious shouting he always does. He and Slash both bellow at one another, defending and accusing and taking turns with each, while Dr. Rockwell futilely tries to mediate the growing fight.

“I don’t care if he’ll ditch you guys if you talk- he’s my little brother, he’s your family, OUR FAMILY- Slash I swear to god, tell me what Mikey told Leatherhead or I’ll-”

“-I can’t! Leatherhead’s our heaviest hitter, we lose half our fighting strength if he goes-”

“I. Don’t. CARE-”

“-well I DO, this is MY TEAM on the line, Raphael-”

“-and this is MY LITTLE BROTHER-”

Leo stares at the direction Leatherhead retreated in, and feels a sickening coil of anger and insult rise up in his stomach. It’s joined by the swirling confusion of what the hell Mikey told Leatherhead to make him so mad, and Leo can’t manage the tide of emotions as they mix together. The spread to his head, and he feels a buzz start in the back of his skull.

He joins the fight with Slash. It’s not much of a relief from the noise in his head.

Leo doesn’t care if Slash was forced into silence- he should have called anyways. Mikey is their brother, and Slash knew exactly what he was supposed to have done. Dr. Rockwell too, who Leo doesn’t forget during the fight. If anyone in the Mutanimals should have seen sense, it’s the primate. And yet, and yet.

None of them called when they should have, and Leo’s brother slipped out of his grasp a second time.

He and Raph only leave the hideout because Slash decks Raph across the face, sending the smaller mutant sprawling on the floor, and orders them to leave. Dr. Rockwell adds a quieter sentiment to that, which is that they leave only until everyone can talk rationally.

Slash snaps at the primate to stay out of things, barely beating Leo to it.

Raph is still snarling and shouting at Slash- Leo doesn’t catch all of it, but it has to do with Slash throwing the trust Raph placed in him back into his face. He grabs his brother by the edge of his shell, resulting in the snarling being turned on him, and hauls Raph to his feet.

Leo glares at Slash, whose large fists remain curled and ready to throw a second punch. There’s a cut across Raph’s cheek, from Slash’s spiny knuckle cartilage, and it’s dripping red steadily across the scales of his cheek.

“We had a deal,” Leo hisses as a final statement. “You said you would call us.”

“Get out,” Slash spits back. “I’m sorry, but get out.”

They get out.

Raph tears into his punching dummy, not seconds after they enter their home, and Leo goes to the dojo.

He draws the weapons he’d been restraining himself from.

Leo’s swords slice through the air faster and faster, cold anger settling in his body even more now that they’re away from the situation. There’s nothing to cut, but Leo acts as if there is. As if there’s an enemy he can’t see, but can cut down anyways, and send the severed limbs rolling across the mats one after another until he gets to the head and then-

His sword slashes across the tree trunk, and Leo jolts out of his haze.

He stares at the gash in the bark; inner wood exposed and splintered. It’s a fresh wound on a trunk that hasn’t been scoured in years. Not since they were children and learning to aim their throwing weapons.

The gash is wide enough to fit his finger. It’ll take years for it to grow over.

Leo dully realizes his arms ache and that he’s out of breath. His scars itch and his knee burns from lack of care with his movements.

Leo sheathes his swords, and turns his back on the damage he’s done to the tree.

His footsteps feel shaky as he leaves the dojo; Leo can’t tell how long he’s been shadow fighting, but it’s been long enough that as he emerges, he finds Raph surrounded by stuffing and sand.

Raph turns a dark and miserable look towards Leo, and doesn’t move from his position sat among the ruins of the former punching dummy. The cut on his cheek has scabbed, and it twists as Raph speaks.

“I’m gonna kill that idiot,” Raph says, low and angry. “Pulling this shit, makin’ Leatherhead turn on us and fucking up everything- I’m gonna kill him.”

Leo’s confusing swirl of offence, anger, and hurt rise in his throat, and he’s inclined to agree with Raph’s temper for once.

The sixth night comes and goes. Leo spends it with Raph, scouring the whole area surrounding the Mutanimals’ residence. They circle the hideout further and further out, searching for signs of a hidden lair entrance.

They don’t find any, their messages continue to go unanswered, and the night ends with an even sourer note than that. Leo finally decides that going to see Karai face to face might be the only way to get her to talk to him, and goes to see her while Raph goes to see Casey.

Leo drops onto the church rooftop, expecting to be let inside by the hidden sentries on top of it- but is stopped by a black and red ninja appearing out of the shadows.

“Master Karai is indisposed of for the evening,” She says, calm and cool. “You’ll have to come back another time.”

Leo nearly splutters. Really? Still?

“Couldn’t I wait inside for her?” Leo asks, keeping his voice level despite his annoyance. He’s already dealt with so many incredibly frustrating things tonight; he doesn’t want to have to add another check to that list.

“No. When she returns, Shinigami left explicit instructions to keep anyone from bothering the master. I apologize for the inconvenience, kappa-san, but you will have to come back tomorrow.”

That won’t do. Leo needs to have at least one thing go right this week, and being able to talk to Karai might help him figure out how to fix all the other things. “I’m her brother,” Leo says, exasperated. “Can’t you guys make an exception for me?”

The foot ninja’s response is as deadpan as her mask.

“No.”

Leo bites his tongue, tamping down on rude words that want to come out. He nods tersely. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Tell her I was here. Please.” The last part is an effort to get out, the accumulated grievances in Leo’s life putting a strain on his politeness and patience.

“I will tell master Karai you wanted to see her, don’t worry,” The ninja gives a shallow bow. “Goodnight, kappa-san.”

Leo bows in return, and continues to bite down his frustrations. He leaves the church roof in an even worse mood than he’d been in before.

He stares at his phone when he gets home, at the unanswered conversations in his messages. He hadn’t ever cared before, but now he wishes that Donnie had programmed the t-phones to show when someone read the sent messages; at least then Leo would know they were seeing his texts.

He’s angry, and hurt, and really getting worried. Six days is longer than he’s ever known his brothers to be mad at him, or at Raph. And the longer things drag out, the more Leo feels he’s losing control of his life.

The seventh night, an entire week into Donnie and Mikey’s disappearances, comes and goes similarly. The lair remains half empty, their texts and calls unanswered, and even with attempts to negotiate with Leatherhead for information, they get nowhere.

Leatherhead growls when Raph tries to speak in the conference call, threatening and deep, and hangs up on them. Slash calls back, but they don’t get anywhere with him either. Slash is stuck between them and Leatherhead, who has made it very clear he’ll leave the Mutanimals if Slash tries to hand over any information about Mikey.

Leo and Raph, especially Raph, push for Slash to reveal it anyways. Once Mikey is home and can talk Leatherhead down, everything will be fine. It won’t be that big of deal for Slash to tell them about Mikey and Donnie’s whereabouts, especially with their safety on the line.

Slash doesn’t budge.

“Donnie and Mikey’ll show up soon enough, I can’t risk losin’ Leatherhead because I went behind his back. And I don’t even know much more than what Leatherhead told us after Mikey swung through. Pushin’ me for info won’t be worth it. Besides, they’re not in any serious trouble, and how long d’you think they’re really gonna be gone? It’s already been a week. They’ll come back sooner than later.”

They’ll come back sooner than later.

Leo’s been telling himself that all along, but it’s already been a full week. The longest he’s ever known Donnie to hold a grudge is a few hours, maybe a day, and Mikey can never seem to stay angry longer than a few seconds.

It feels so unlike them, doing this.

And Leo still doesn’t even know why they are. Leatherhead clearly knows, and even as Raph tries again to get Slash to tell them, it looks more and more like that knowledge will be kept from them.

They could have at least hinted at why they left. If it’s some petty argument they had and Leo forgot about, then he’ll apologize. If it’s a petty argument they had with Raph, then Leo will make Raph apologize.

It’d be as simple as talking it out, and then things could back to normal.

Leo feels annoyed and worried, the way his brothers haven’t done so.

It’s not like them. It’s not like them at all.

The eighth night, Leo finally gets to see Karai. It’s a brief spot of calm; the stress in his chest lessening just for being with her in the church.

“I just don’t… understand,” Leo confides in her, watching his sister strap gauntlets and hidden knives to her person. He’s been allowed inside the headquarters, but warned Karai will be leaving soon enough. He’ll take what he can get, even if he feels pushed aside and ignored. “They shouldn’t have anything to be angry about with us. I’ve been trying to pick out something that’d piss them off to make them do this… and I get nothing. We’ve been doing just fine. Why would they run off, and then make Leatherhead angry with us, too, if everything was going fine?”

“I don’t know, Leo,” Karai says, sliding her signature tanto across the back of her hips. She turns to face Leo, crossing her arms. “Maybe they really did just need some time away from home, like you said Mikey’s note explained.”

“Yeah, but… that doesn’t explain Leatherhead’s behavior. If it’s really just a vacation, then why turn him on us like that? I just can’t figure it out. None of this makes any sense. It’s all so… out of character for them to do this. Right?”

Karai shrugs. “Maybe. You’ve known them longer than I have, obviously speaking. But I do know they’re capable of taking care of themselves, that much I’ve learned over the years. They’ll probably be back soon.”

Leo folds his fingers together, squeezing his six digits against one another. He stares at the floor under his feet, tracing the carpet designs of Karai’s private weapon inventory. “Everyone keeps saying that… but they won’t even respond to my calls. I’m worried. Aren’t you?”

“…truth be told, no,” Karai replies evenly. “Like I said, they can take care of themselves. I know they’ll be fine from personal experience; don’t forget how many times I tried to off you four when we were enemies still. You should just give them space until they come back.”

Leo grimaces, feeling now familiar worry and frustration rise in his throat. “But I’ve been telling them to come home now, or at least contact us. I’m their Sensei; they have to listen to me about these things. I gave them orders.”

Karai snorts. “Yeah, and how well did that work out?”

Leo looks up from his staring contest with his feet; sending a displeased look in Karai’s direction. “This is serious, Karai. You shouldn’t make a joke about my brothers disobeying a direct order from their leader- who knows how much danger they could get into if we don’t stay in contact?”

Karai rolls her eyes at him, and says, “Leo, they’re big boys. They’ll be fine.”

Leo blusters. “But I don’t know that for sure! They won’t call, won’t text- how am I supposed to really know they’re okay?”

“You could try trusting them,” Karai says, still not treating the situation with the gravity it deserves.

“I do trust them!” Leo snaps, and then he collects himself as Karai raises an eyebrow at the outburst. “I do trust them. It’s just. I want them home, where I can keep an eye on them. I can’t make sure they’re safe if they’re off gallivanting who knows where.”

Karai shrugs a second time. “I don’t know what else to tell you, Leo. Sometimes you can make something happen right away, and sometimes you just have to wait for the next step to presents itself.”

Leo starts to say that that’s not something he can do, they’re his brothers and he needs to find them, ask them what’s going on and why they’re making it happen-

But April walks in through the side door to the armory, and Leo’s thought process derails itself.

“April??” He exclaims, staring at his friend, decked head to toe in black and silver gear. She freezes, wide eyes going to him.

April raises a weak wave to him, giving an awkward half-smile. “Oh. Uh. Hi, Leo.”

Leo recovers from his utter shock, and says, “What are you doing here? Where- is this where you’ve been all week? I’ve been calling you like crazy, and you couldn’t even text back once to tell me?”

“I’ve been- busy,” April says, not looking directly at him. Her feet shift on the carpet, arms crossed behind her back, and Leo spots the bright red mark on her shoulder guard right then.

“You joined the Foot clan?” He gapes incredulously. “Without telling me?”

April’s eyes flicker to him, and there’s an unusual intentness to her examination of him. Leo doesn’t know what to make of that; he’s too busy feeling like someone’s yanked the rug a little bit more out from under his feet.

April joined the Foot clan? And she hadn’t even dropped a text with him to ask permission, or give notice, or anything??

“I hired her,” Karai says, interrupting Leo and April’s stare off. “She owes me a favor, I like having someone who isn’t a complete moron work for me. It worked out alright.”

Leo looks between the two of them, dumbfounded and utterly shocked. “But- she’s my student. I didn’t give either of you permission for this- I wouldn’t have given either of you permission for this! My brothers are missing, Karai, I can’t lose any more teammates than I already have!”

Karai raises her brows, unimpressed, and April says something too low for Leo to catch.

“What?”

“I said,” April raises her voice. “that last I checked, I didn’t have to ask you for permission to make my own choices.” She continues, despite the stare Leo is giving her. “I. I needed something to do. I needed something to keep my mind off Splinter, and help with Donnie and Mikey. Karai gave me a job, and… it’s been good. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but the last week has been hectic. I couldn’t have my phone on half the time, and the rest I was training or sleeping.”

Leo keeps staring at April, and it feels like he’s looking at someone who only just resembles his friend.

April has new armor, rather than her old black and yellow tracksuit. Her hair is braided back tightly, and Leo counts least three different types of concealed weapons around her waist; to add to the sword across her hips and the tessen fan on her thigh. She looks more like a Foot clan ninja than she does a Hamato one, and it feels like a betrayal.

“How- how could you do this?” Leo asks, throat tight and his fists tighter. “You didn’t tell any of us, didn’t even bother to try- don’t you care that Donnie and Mikey are gone? This isn’t the time to be running around, or goofing off-”

“I haven’t been!” April cuts him off. She draws herself up, squaring her shoulders and looking him dead in the eye. “I’ve been all over the city all week, with Karai and Shinigami- I look in every neighborhood we go through. I check with every lowlife we beat up if they’ve seen them. I’ve been searching for them since the very first night, Leo, so don’t you dare try to say I’ve been goofing off.”

Leo reels, caught off-guard by April’s defensiveness. Why is everyone like this lately? His brothers never ran off like this before, April never snapped so blatantly at him- what’s even going on with his family anymore?

Leo shakes off his shock. “Still. We need you with us, April, not… what have you even been doing all week?”

“She’s been helping me take back my territories,” Karai interjects before April can speak. Leo’s eyes turn to his sister, who is standing with a straight back and commanding posture. “We have a lot of ground to cover, since most of the Foot’s territory claims were nullified when Shredder started going crazy. Practically the entire city needs to be beaten back into the submission, and having a well-trained psychic on the team speeds things up.”

Leo gapes for a second time, head spinning to catch up with all the implications of that explanation. “You’re- you’re starting up the criminal activities of the Foot again? April, you’re helping them? After everything we did to take them down?”

April averts her eyes a second time from Leo, turning her set expression towards the sword rack instead. “Karai is different from the Shredder. This is different.”

“This is business,” Karai says, striding across the room towards April. “It’s what the Foot clan does best, and it’s what I was raised to inherit. And I’ll see to it I get every damn scrap of power I was promised, just to give Shredder one last ‘fuck you’.” She glances over her shoulder at Leo, and shoots a raised eyebrow his direction. “And really, Leo, what did you expect me to do once I got control of the clan again?”

Leo is at a loss for words.

He feels betrayed in so many ways. All their efforts to dissolve the Foot clan’s hold on New York, and Karai is undoing all that work deliberately? April knew that, and willingly is helping? And neither of them saw fit to even mention it to him?

He considers both of the women in front of him as close friends, as family, and yet they did this. Just like his brothers ran off without a goodbye, and just like Leatherhead, one of the very first mutants they ever met besides themselves, turned on him.

“How could you?” Leo asks, and he’s not sure if it’s April or Karai he’s talking to.

April still won’t look at him, and Karai’s attention is stolen by a Foot ninja appearing in the open doorway.

“We’re ready, master Karai,” He says in a low voice, bowing as he does. Karai nods, and dismisses him with a wave of her hand.

“We’re going now,” She says, turning back to Leo one last time. “Sorry to cut this short, but I have a limited opportunity to raid an enemy warehouse of a hefty weapon’s cache. If we see Donnie or Mikey, we’ll call, but otherwise our phones won’t be on. Good luck finding your brothers; we’ll see you later.”

And then Karai walks out, following the ninja that had come to retrieve them. April starts to follow, but glances back once more. Her expression isn’t one Leo can’t read properly; showing no hint of what she’s thinking at the moment.

“April,” Leo says, hurt creeping into his chest.

April ducks her head, turning her back on him. “I’m sorry, Leo,” She says stiffly. “but I have to go.”

April walks away, following the same dark hallway Karai had disappeared into. Leo is left alone in the armory, by himself and short yet another two members of his family.

Leo spends all of evening ten searching for his brothers.

If they won’t contact him, and Leatherhead won’t give him any information, then Leo will just go find them himself.

It’s easier to just keep running all night, over rooftops and subdued streets, than it is to think. First his brothers, then Leatherhead, and now April…

They’re all slipping out of his control, and it makes Leo feel like he’s slipping, too.

He’s supposed to be their leader, their Sensei- and none of them are respecting his authority at all. Maybe Leatherhead isn’t technically under his direct command, but the Mutanimals have always been a backup to Leo’s team. The rebellion is sudden and unexpected, and Leo has to bite down harder and harder on his frustration with the other mutants.

April, too. He’d never expected her to just- go off. Ditch them all and join a completely different team. He’s angry with her for doing that, and for refusing to take back her choice.

The only spot of good in that snarl right there, is that at least Leo knows she hasn’t been hiding his brothers from him. If April is still searching for Donnie and Mikey, than she didn’t have any hand in them disappearing. It’s a slim comfort, that.

Leo finds no suitable spots for his brothers to live. Most buildings are too likely to be intruded in, and he can’t find any traces of an underground lair entrance. And when he goes underground to double check, the sewer tunnels offer no better trails to follow; just damp corridors.

He’s circling outwards from the lair’s location; combing the city for his brothers. Despite the steady search pattern, and the long, long few hours he spends going everything with an intent eye- he finds absolutely nothing.

He’s worried. He’s angry. He’s really starting to get close to being truly furious.

After everything they’ve been through together, after everything he did to make this team work- his brothers and April ditch him.

He’s their leader. Their Sensei. They shouldn’t be able to do this.

Leo goes home to a mostly empty house, tired and aching in his legs. None of his messages have been answered, and Raph is only present for a moment; side-eyeing Leo only once before he locks himself in his room, and starts up a racket with his drum kit.

Leo takes his turmoil of frustrations and goes to the dojo.

His swords slice through the air fast as he can push himself. His knee complains, the tender healed muscles protesting under the long hours of stress- but he pushes through the ignorable pain.

He loses track of time for a bit, narrowing his world to just the steady movements he knows so well. The thoughts of his family defying him, ignoring him, and abandoning him- they fade to a dull buzz on the edge of his mind. It gives Leo, for a time, space outside the growing anxieties in his chest.

He only stops once his arms have started to shake badly, exhaustion catching up with him completely. Leo’s sword tips scratch the mats as he lowers his weapons; breathing coming fast and harsh.

The clock on the wall reads nearly seven in the morning. He’s long past his routine bedtime.

That’s just one more part of his life that seems to be unraveling itself.

Leo doesn’t go to bed, so much as passes out as soon as he’s horizontal. It’s hardly any relief.

The second week passes, without a single sign of acknowledgement from Mikey or Donnie.

Leo hasn’t had good food in a while; he didn’t notice until Mikey left that his brother had taken over majority of the kitchen tasks. Nearly everything he and Raph scrounge up is either instant, burnt, or a combination of the two. It makes for a lot of sullen mealtimes, and more often than not leftovers no one really wants to eat.

The fridge is starting to make a weird clunking noise when the fan comes on. Either something is plugged, or slipped out of its spot, or who knows what. They could pull it out and take a look, but neither of them even knows what they would be looking at. The appliances were always something Donnie took care of.

Both the crap food and the crapping out electronics make the mealtimes unpleasant. Mostly for the reminders they represent.

The table has two too many chairs for its current occupants. It’s unsettling, both of those stools remaining empty for how long they have.

April is increasingly scarce in their social group; the only hint she’s still around at all comes through Casey, relaying that he’s seen her during the day, and brief glimpses of her in the church when Leo drops by. When April passes Leo by in these moments, her eyes linger on him with a look he can’t decipher.

He’s still bitter about her leaving them, abandoning the clan and team that made her a ninja, and Leo meets her eyes with a cold look whenever they enter the same spaces. He never gave her permission to leave them, not when they’re already missing two of their family members. This is the time when they should be banding together, searching for his brothers until they’re safe at home again. Not walking away from one of the most important things their first Sensei gave them.

April holds his cold gazes, and then looks away from them without a glance back. It makes Leo’s relationship with Karai tenser; his anger towards April bleeding into his and Karai’s conversations. She’s busy still, taking back the city and the power that the Foot lost. It’s not something Leo approves of in the least, and he makes it clear.

Karai brushes him off. Reminds him this is her clan, not his.

“The Foot might not have been my birth clan, but it’s the one that I’ll make my own regardless. I know you don’t like it, Leo, but this was always what I was going to do. I thought you knew that.”

“No,” Leo replies, and he knows his tone is lacking politeness. “I didn’t. And I thought you knew better than to follow in the Shredder’s footsteps.”

That remark gets him a sharp warning look from Karai. An even more so one from Shinigami, who is eyeing him from the sidelines of the throne room. The atmosphere cools to arctic levels, and Leo knows he’s overstepped his boundaries.

He doesn’t take it back. Because he’d thought Karai was better than this.

“…master Karai,” A tentative Foot ninja speaks up, from the doorway of the throne room. “I apologize for the interruption, but the Don is here to negotiate.”

Karai’s gold eyes leave Leo, and she turns her attention away from the slight. “Tell him to enter, if he can even fit in the elevator.” She doesn’t glance at Leo as she turns away, walking up the steps of her throne. “And see my brother out. Vizioso isn’t fond of mutants.”

Leo gives a narrow look after Karai, but leaves without responding. Better to leave before someone says something really over the line.

His phone remains full of unanswered texts, and the rooms in his home too empty. The argument with Karai makes those things all the harder to bear.

Two weeks and a half.

Raph joins Leo on and off for his searches. Leo’s started picking neighborhoods at random across the city; taking the Party Wagon to travel beyond their usual running grounds. He chooses places he thinks his brothers would want to be close to, whether for resources or the sights. None of the searches yield any results.

Sometimes they talk during the searches, but their conversations don’t stray from the modes they’ve started to fall into. Terse and clipped, or surly and touchy. Sometimes, they just fight. Pointless spats that don’t really have meaning or even connection to what they’re doing. About dinner and whose turn it is to cook, or the chores they can’t divide evenly between themselves, or any number of things that aren’t worth the energy it takes to fight about them.

Sometime they don’t speak at all during the searches. Tense silence without break or interruption. No one else is around to break the silence with an offhand joke or a long-winded explanation. It makes the empty spaces around them that much more obvious.

Leatherhead refuses to budge with his information, and Slash keeps telling them he can’t break the trust he has with the other mutant. At this point, it’s a stalemate none of them can break without doing real damage to their relationships.

Raph doesn’t yell at Slash anymore, his anger quieter and simmering rather than boiling and explosive. Leo’s own feelings and frustrations have done the same; without immediate or new antagonizing, he’s managed to form a steady baseline.

But that doesn’t mean the baseline is pleasant; hurt, anger, and confusion persisting in Leo’s mind even in quieter moments. It’s been days, and still no sign of their brothers. He doesn’t understand any more now than he did at the beginning why they’re doing this, or what’s causing them to hold out for so long.

Leo had thought his brothers would come home within a night or two. The end of the week comes, and they get no closer to finding out where their brothers have gone.

He’s less sure what to make of that than he’s ever been.

They see the first action they’ve seen in weeks, a few days into the third week of their brothers’ disappearance.

It’s just the Purple Dragons, causing trouble now that the Kraang and the Foot clan have moved elsewhere. Leo reached something of an agreement with Karai about the Foot’s criminal activities; if it was kept out of his territory, he’d turn a blind eye and stop fighting about it. He’s not sure if she did that because he asked her to, or if she did it simply to avoid dealing with his dislike of it.

The fight should be easy. It’s the A-team, with the addition of Casey, against four ordinary men. They’ve fought entire armies at this point; four humans shouldn’t be any trouble at all.

But, no one’s there to cover Leo’s left flank. Casey is unpredictable with where he places himself in a fight, and Raph is always on Leo’s striking right. There’s no one covering their shells or his left flank.

Leo gets a deep cut in his left shoulder, because he got careless and forgot Mikey is gone.

It’s not a bad injury. He’s had wounds ten times worse, and this one won’t take more than a few days to heal. It still hurts, though.

They beat up the Dragons, call it a night, and Leo has to do first aid on himself for the first time… a fair while.

Donnie’s not here to patch them up, so Leo has to clean and bandage the gash with one hand. It’s not as neat as it could be, but he gets the wide band-aid in place, and that’s all he really needs to do.

It’s a bit unsettling afterwards, realizing how many holes there were in their fight patterns. The whole of their group fighting style depends on having at least three components- they’re short half their team, which tripped Leo up, and Casey has never been an easy person to mesh with in a fight. At least not for Leo; Raph always did it with ease, and still does.

Leo faltered, because he’s too used to having someone there to cover for him.

The empty spots in their team are emptier than ever, coming down from the high of battle and finding the victory lacking. No one is cheering particularly loud, and what few injuries they received have to be tended to individually.

Leo misses his brothers with a striking bolt of emotion, and it’s followed quickly by the feeling of betrayal at their disappearance.

He’s angry with them. He’s missing them. He just wants them to at least tell him why they left.

Leo goes home with his remaining brother, and there are not nearly enough footsteps to echo their way there.

The Shredder looms in front of him, and Leo can’t even scream before the blades come down on him.

He feels his plastron split, long scores all the way down. The pain blinds him, and it sends his senses white with agony.

Another slash- to his knee cap- and a scream finally does work its way out of his throat.

He goes down, landing on his side and still screaming. It hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts-

Leo’s eyes roll wildly, pain blotting any thought from his mind except for wanting it to stop. He feels the icy slush of the ground mixing with the burning hot blood running out of him; it sticks to his scales and gives the effect of magma meeting the arctic waters across his body.

No one is here, no one is here and he’s alone. He’s alone and he barely has the strength to drag himself across the cold ground. Dirt and snow turn to mud under his arms as he crawls, gasping and retching as agony throbs through him.

A shadow falls across his vision, and Leo looks upwards with fear.

Splinter’s figure stands nearby, snow falling delicately on his robe.

“-Sensei,” Leo gasps. He’s saved. He’s saved. He raises a hand, reaching desperately for his father to take it, pick him off the construction site’s cold ground and stop the steady bleeding from his body.

Splinter doesn’t move, just staring down at him.

“Sensei-” Leo’s voice cracks as he tries to raise his hand higher. “Sensei, please.”

Splinter remains motionless.

Leo’s vision fills, blurring. Hot tears slide down his cheeks. “Father- I can’t- h-help me, it hurts, please father it- hurts-”

Why won’t his father take his hand? Why won’t he help him?

Twin blades are stabbed through Splinter’s stomach, and Leo screams.

Splinter falls, and reveals the hulking figure of Shredder behind him.

No, no no no-

His father lays motionless on the cold ground, red growing in a thick puddle all around him. His wide dead eyes stare up at the ashy clouds above them both, filled with smoke and snow. Leo can’t breathe, lungs hitching and failing to fill as he pulls himself to his father’s body.

His fingers grip the very edge of Splinter’s sleeve, the damp fabric offering no comfort as Leo sobs. Broken and bleeding on the ground, nearly as dead as Splinter is.

His father is dead. He’s dead and no one is coming to save him. No one was ever coming to save him. Leo failed.

He failed and he’s alone.

A rough grip turns him over, and Leo meets the eyes of the monster that’s come to kill him a second time.

He struggles, weakly clawing at the huge hand that’s holding him in place. He’s screaming. He’s screaming loud enough it hurts. For someone, anyone, to save him, please, please can’t someone save him-

The Shredder raises his blades, and tears open Leo’s throat.

Leo wakes, and claws at his throat as he tries to breathe.

Its pitch black in his room, and he throws off the covers as he forces himself upright. His scars and lungs burn; his nerves on fire as he re-experiences the sensations of his injuries.

Leo retches, coughing and struggling to fill his lungs. It’s painful, his vocal cords aching as he pants fast and shallow. He’s been screaming, he can already tell.

The Shredder and his father flash across his vision, and he nearly falls on the floor as he stumbles out of bed.

He knows where his weapons are, even in the dark, and he gets his hands on his swords fast as he can. Alone in his room, Leo clings to the best defense he has. His heart is beating loud in his ears, and the feeling of being cut into pieces plays over his body again and again.

He feels like he’s dying.

He feels like he’s still there, in that construction site.

He feels like he’s going to throw up.

Leo curls around his swords, huddled on the floor of his room, and sobs.

No one comes to see why. Anyone who might’ve heard is asleep, or has been gone for nearly four weeks.

He’s alone.

Come home, he texts Mikey on the second day of the fourth week. I don’t know why you left. What did we do? Why won’t you answer me?

Please, come back home. If you’d just stop being so stubborn, we could talk about it.

What did you tell Leatherhead? Why is he so angry with us?

Mikey, what did we do?

Answer me.

Please answer me.

Mikey.

This isn’t funny.

If this is some stupid, drawn out joke, I’m not laughing.

Come home.

You’re making Raph worry, you’re making our friends worry.

You’re making Me worry.

Can’t you at least call us?

Mikey

Mikey come on

Please.

Just come home already.

April stops taking their calls completely. Leo doesn’t see her at all in the Foot clan headquarters, and Karai will only tell him she doesn’t want to see him at the moment.

He can only muster the dull feeling of confusion that night. It’s been so long since his brothers disappeared, the way April is breaking herself off from their group is only painful in the faintest way.

He doesn’t understand why she’s doing this. He doesn’t understand why Leatherhead won’t even look at him anymore. He doesn’t understand his brothers left and won’t talk to him.

He doesn’t understand any of it, and it makes a hollow pit inside his stomach.

You’re making us all worry, he texts Donnie, almost five weeks into their disappearance. You ran away and left almost nothing to explain Why.

Answer me, Donnie.

At least give me a reason.

You should be here. Both of you. Not

Not running around like this. Ignoring me, Raph, everyone.

This isn’t like you.

You’re acting like a kid. You know better than to make us worry like this.

Donnie

Please answer me.

At least tell me WHY you won’t answer!

What did we even do to you guys?

Both of you should be ashamed of yourselves. We’re all worried about you two.

Donnie

Donnie please

At least answer me.

Let me know you’re okay.

Leo rips himself out of another nightmare, screaming as he does.

This time, he’d had to watch all his brothers and friends die before he watched Splinter be killed. And then he’d died, too.

The image of all of them laid out, snowflakes and ash falling on their torn up corpses, forces Leo to get out of bed.

It’s the middle of the day, barely past noon, but he can’t even imagine going back to sleep.

He goes to the dojo instead, the one place he still can find a semblance of calm. Or, where he’d used to be able to.

Now, the katas he runs through are sloppy. His steps falter and skip. He can’t find his internal metronome, and the sickening anger inside Leo is only fed by that.

It’s just him and his swords, nothing else in the world. But this time it doesn’t work. The solution to his nightmares and fears has always been routine, his steady and dependable routine even with all the chaos in his life.

But he doesn’t have his routine anymore.

His father is dead. His father has been dead for months and is never there to greet him in the evenings, up just as early and ready to move through tai-chi with Leo. His altar is the only way Leo can see his face anymore, and it sends lightning hot flashes of grief through him every time he looks at it.

His brothers are gone. Donnie and Mikey aren’t there to move in and out of Leo’s space, following their own haphazard routines as the evening begins. They’ve been gone for five weeks and it’s left a gaping hole in Leo’s life, nearly larger than the one their father did.

Raph sleeps late, every night now. They talk tersely or they don’t talk at all, they fight about everything, neither of them can find any common ground anymore. They used to have a balance between them, the A-team, the best fighters in their family. They can barely get through an evening without one of them storming out or causing a fight.

April won’t talk to them, Leatherhead won’t talk to them, Casey and Karai and Slash are no help.

Everything is falling apart.

All. Because. His brothers left.

Leo doesn’t know how long he’s been sparring with the air, but his knee screams at him as he moves without care.

He’s furious. He’s broken through the numbness and he’s furious.

How dare they leave. After everything they’ve done and lost and fought to regain- they just leave him?

This is their home, this is their family- Leo is their leader, their Sensei, their brother- and they still just left?

They didn’t even say goodbye. Donnie and Mikey just picked up and left him and Raph. They abandoned their family and didn’t look back. They turned Leatherhead on them, have probably turned April on them- who will they take next? Casey? Karai?

Leo nearly killed himself for them, over and over. He spent his whole life trying to be the leader of their family, struggling to make the hard decisions and make the right hard decisions- he put hours and hours of time in, training himself until he was exhausted. He studied battle tactics and acted responsibly whenever no one else would. He was the best older brother and leader he could be and they still just left.

Everything he did for them, everything they did together- his brothers threw it all away and abandoned him.

He’s moving fast and jaggedly; all of his movements spurred on by anger and hurt. Leo’s sides burn as he heaves in breaths, pushing his body to keep going even as his arms and legs try to give out.

Leo catches a family photo out of the corner of his eyes, hung on the wall of the dojo.

He yells wordlessly, and slashes at it.

The frame and glass splinter, and his sword slices the photo in half. It falls to the floor as it’s destroyed.

Leo stops, staring at the destroyed piece of memorabilia.

The picture is of him and his family. Leo and his siblings lined up in front of their father, young and proud of themselves.

He’s sliced the two sets of brothers in half; Leo and Raph on one half, and Donnie and Mikey on the other. The beaming smiles from their younger selves stare up at him accusingly.

Broken glass and wood litter the floor around the halved picture, and Leo stares back at the snapshot of their shared pasts.

Why did they leave?

What did he do wrong?

His eyes sting, and Leo sinks to his knees.

He feels hollow as he kneels; the center of his chest empty and painful. His katana make the glass shards clink as he lays the blades on them, eyes locked on what he’s gone and destroyed.

Their father, who had been directly center of the picture, is sliced in half. One side of Splinter with each set of siblings.

It’s ruined the smile his father had been wearing that day, the split picture.

Leo’s grip on his swords tightens, and he bites his lip. He feels his shoulders shake, and it’s not from physical exhaustion.

Leo lowers his head, vision blurring completely, and feels utterly alone.

Leo sleeps whenever he can. Night, day, in between- he’s lost his routine completely, and with it his internal balance. Nightmares get him if he sleeps too deeply, and there’s only so many times he can take watching his family die.

The fury dies slowly, turning into a painful smoulder in his chest; dead center of the emptiness. He’s angry with his brothers, with his friends- but more so, Leo just wants things to go back to normal.

Things were good. They were moving out of grieving, they were moving on. They’d started their training sessions with him as Sensei, run a few mock missions with total success. He was watching his family rebuild themselves around the gaping wound Splinter’s death left them all. They were fine.

Why did his brothers leave?

He’s been asking himself that, texting the question over and over, leaving voicemails anywhere from ten seconds to five minutes long asking just that- for six weeks, over six weeks, and he still doesn’t have an answer.

Leo doesn’t understand what he or Raph did to make their brothers so mad. He’s racking his brain even now for a recent fight or disagreement severe enough to cause this- and he’s getting nothing. As far as he can tell, everything between the A-team and the B-team was the same as it always was. Which was fine, they were all perfectly fine.

Did he miss something? Had something happen without him knowing? If so, why didn’t his brothers talk to him about it?

Why did they leave? Why won’t they answer him?

At this point, Leo just wants to understand.

He just wants his family to come home.

Leo comes out of a deep meditative state one night, after attempting to reach a state of clarity he can’t seem to achieve anymore, to find Casey shouting at Raph. And April, who is dressed in her Foot uniform still and trying to pull Casey away from where Raph lays on the floor, holding the side of his face.

“Fuck you!” Casey yells, straining against April’s grip on him. “You- you’re my best friend and you think that’s okay? Why the fuck- I thought you were- you were supposed to-”

“Casey!” April snaps, hauling him backwards. “You promised me-”

“You were supposed to prove me wrong! You were supposed to own up to it and- and-”

“Casey!!”

“Fuck you!” Casey yells again, red in the face and looking angrier than Leo’s ever seen him. “Fuck you for that shit you pulled! Fuck you for being an abusive dickwad and thinking its okay-”

“CASEY!” April shouts, and she finally pulls Casey away from Raph. “You promised me you’d let them handle this themselves. This is Donnie and Mikey’s fight- not yours.”

“He’s my best friend,” Casey fires back, and his angry expression cracks, becoming something hurt. “He’s my best friend, and I didn’t see shit.”

“It’s not our fight. It’s not our place.” April says those things, but it looks painful for her to do so. She pushes Casey further away from Raph, herding him out towards the exit. “Come on. Get some air.”

Casey shrugs of her hands. “Get off me, I can do it myself…”

“Guys?” Leo finally breaks in, drawing attention to himself. All eyes move to him; Casey and April’s defensive, Raph’s wide and shocked. “April? Casey? What’s-”

“And you-” Casey cuts him off, a snarl twisting his expression. “Fuck you, too. You’re just as- you pulled the exact same shit-”

April pushes him again. “Casey, out.”

Casey growls, and seems to physically rein himself in. “Fine, fine. Let go- let go of me.”

April lets go of him. Casey gives them one last dark, furious glare, and then storms out of the lair. April watches him go, and then turns back to Leo and Raph.

Leo is startled by how coldly angry her eyes are.

“…April, what’s going on?” He asks, feeling lost. “What did we do?”

Her expression turns bitterly sad, and she turns her back on them.

“Ask your brothers that.”

She walks out of the lair, following Casey’s steps, and is gone before Leo can manage another word.

Casey stops speaking to them. It has the effect Leo expects on Raph. Fury, aimless fury, and a deep set wound of betrayal.

Their calls and texts remain unanswered, even as Leo and Raph ask them pointedly what Casey’s comments meant.

Their social group loses another member, and then it’s just Leo and his brother, and Slash. Karai somewhat counts, but Leo sees her so rarely it doesn’t feel like it.

The lair feels like an echoing cavern; cold and hollow. There’s no hum of Donnie’s machines and constant work, no background racket as Mikey plays his radio, t-phone, and the television all at once-

Their rooms are empty of life, and their lack of presence is somehow oppressive.

The nightmares worsen, Leo sleeps even less, and he still can’t understand why any of this is happening.

Leo stares at the photo of his father, set on the altar.

He’s kneeling partially out of respect, partially out of exhaustion. The only way he can feel anything besides slow swallowing numbness anymore is to work himself to the bone. It gives him near black sleep, at least.

Leo stares at his father’s image, and wonders where he went wrong.

He’d just been doing what he was supposed to do, what he was taught to do, and his brothers left anyways. He’d been trying his best, every single night, and his friends still all turned on him. Leo had tried to be everything his father had wanted, known, him to be, and everything has fallen apart anyways.

If he was always destined to be a leader, if he was always destined to take the mantle of Sensei, if this is what he’d been born to do…

…then why has he failed so miserably?

His phone rings, some infinite amount of time later.

Leo picks it up, off the table to the side of the dojo where he left it.

Raph’s caller ID is displayed, bringing faint disappointment to Leo’s heart, and he answers it.

“Raph? Hello?”

“-h-hey, Leo,” Raph gasps over the line. “I think- I think I need s-some help here.”

Continuation. (pending.)

#These Days tag #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #leonardo #raphael #My writing #ladies gentlemen and those who are neither #i present to you Trauma Boy!#in all his messed up glory #*throws confetti*#wow is this kid ever fucked up #good job splinter #really nailed the parenting right here #:/#boy howdy this took a long-ass time to get out #leave me your reactions and go listen to that new playlist #i need you to do both so i can keep feeling like a valid writer #thanks

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starryburglar-archive · 6 years ago

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Kaoru Info

Full name: Kaoru Matsubara

Species: Human

Age: 13 - 18 ( verse dependant )

Sexuality: Heterosexual

FC(s): Kenna Yatsushiro ( Medaka Box ) || Hashimoto Ai

Bio: Kaoru is the second child in a family of five and the only female besides their mother. She grew up in a male environment, with a big and young brother, and a father who is also a boxer. Since she grew up in an environment like this, Kaoru got used to play a lot of sports, get dirty and do stuff usually aimed at boys. It didn't help that her hair is so short that for years she got her gender mixed up by strangers -- not that she cares that much. Kaoru is not especially girly either, wearing usually baggy clothes and loathing the idea of mini skirts.

Her normal life changed at the age of twelve when a light ray struck her -- as she protected a small child from sad ray -- which gave her unbelievable strength and other cool superpowers. And since she wasn't the only one, coincidentally two other girls from her school were in the same scenario, the mayor of Tokyo, along with the local professor Utonium, decided that they should make a super team. Thus, the Powerpuff Girls were born.

Note: Strictly anime based.

[ MAIN || INBOX || HEADCANONS || VISAGE || MUSINGS ]

-----------------------------------------------

V001: Powered Buttercup

Default main verse. Kaoru lives a double life, balancing being a normal girl who plays a lot of sports (particularly soccer) and every couple of days she transforms to Powered Buttercup, one of the three Powerpuff Girls which are a group of superheroines who have been protecting Tokyo for a couple of years now.

NOTE: While her canon age is of a preteen (so 13) I leave it open to all her years of High School so it can be more interesting to me. So the age range can go up to 18, and her FC for her teen/young adult self is Kenna Yatsushiro from Medaka Box.

V002: Powerless but Still Feisty

Alternative main verse. What if Kaoru Matsubara never got hit with the white Z ray? This is basically an AU in which Kaoru never got superpowers and thus never became Powered Buttercup and a member of the Powerpuff Girls Z. Kaoru just lives her daily life as normal as she can manage with the occasional monster attacking Tokyo, not like she cares about that stuff. Having so much free times on her hands she and her family can manage to travel because of her father’s job as a boxer – so there’s a chance that the Matsubara siblings become transfer students every so often.

V003: Unsure About the Future

A young adult | college verse. Unlike her friends Momoko and Miyako, Kaoru never knew what to do with her life after High School, and even after graduating she lacked any clear answers. To not feel like a waste of space to her family, however, she searched for jobs and found one of her likings. At the local gym, she’s a trainee or assistant to the official teachers and helps the little kids (and sometimes adults) around with all kinds of sports – at least the pay is good.

NOTE: Age range between 19 - 21

V004: Aspiring Warrior

A fantasy or medieval verse. Coming from a large lineage of soldiers and warriors, it’s no surprise that all three children of Captain Matsubara would want to grow up and be just like their father – even his only daughter, Kaoru, wanted to be a warrior. It did concern both parents at first since women weren’t usually seen doing battle but as the years went by and the more determined she seemed to train and fight, they stopped doubting and began to trust their daughter.

V005: Butch Girls can Just Dance too

An idol verse. Kaoru Matsubara, the biggest tomboy known in her school, would be the last person to be found getting scouted to become an idol. But it happened. It’s real. And she’s just as confused as any other would be. How did it even happen? Well, it’s all thanks to an old friend of her mother who has worked on the idol industry for years, and suggested that despite not being all that feminine, there’s a market for butch or tomboy idols out there. Kaoru only said yes to shut him up, not realizing that sealed her fate.

Now, as a member of an idol group of three, herself going as Buttercup for her stage name, and with Momoko and Miyako as partners, who ported the stage names of Blossom and Bubbles, they became the Powerpuff Girls.

NOTE: The age range is of 15 - 18.

V006: Guitar Hero

A rock band verse. Music has always been a part of Kaoru’s life. Sure, she’s still the tomboy sports girl who kicks butt, gets angry very easily, and is more comfortable around boys, but another way of channeling her anger (and overall feelings) is by playing the guitar. She never saw herself forming a band, much less with two of her classmates, much less with two girls such as Momoko and Miyako, but it turned out to be a great partnership (and eventually, friendship). Now she gets to kick ass not only out in the field playing football or tennis, or by fighting back idiots, but by also rocking out with her guitar.

NOTE: The age range is of 15 - 18.

V007: I Am Thou

A Persona 5 verse.

Kaoru’s family had moved to Shibuya while she was still very young, in context, her little brother was still one-year-old. But Shibuya gave them a lot more opportunities in life, especially to her and her brothers. Still living in an apartment complex but with enough space for a family of five, and with enough kids on the neighborhood for the Matsubara children to play with.

During the beginning of her High School years, Kaoru was one of the most promising talents of the volleyball team, being able to hold her ground against girls and boys from Shujin Academy. That all changed, however, once Kamoshida entered the picture. She couldn’t pinpoint what irked her about the guy, as he seemed like a cool teacher, but decided to take no chances and stood her ground. It didn’t last for long, as she herself decided to quit the volleyball after one week with Kamoshida as the new coach.

Much time later is when she would find herself by accident in the Metaverse, soon to discover Sakamoto Ryuji and the new student with a weird looking cat and strange outfits. But most importantly, the surprise on her face at seeing the school as a medieval palace, and Kamoshida as his worst self, compared to no other. Learning what happened behind the scenes no much longer after she parted the volleyball team, the abuse of her classmates, what actually happened to the track team, the truth behind Sakamoto’s injury… it filled her with rage.

And then, she heard a voice coming from deep within her heart. It hurt like hell, like going crazy with madness, but it spoke clearly and with conviction. That voice knew what Kaoru wanted, what she wanted to do for so long ever since she laid her green eyes upon the shifty coach. A pact was made, a mask ripped off, and her true self finally blossomed. With a new outfit, a flashy mask, and a very large hammer, Buttercup the Phantom Thief was born alongside her Persona: Anne Bonny.

[ PHANTOM THIEF OUTFIT ] // [ MASK ] // [ ARCANA: CHARIOT ]

V008: Explosive Fighter

A My Hero Academia verse. No matter if it’s the strength of her father of the speed of her mother, Kaoru cannot use both at the same time. However, her stubbornness and anger make her continue to try to use both. It isn’t completely impossible to dominate both quirks and use them without much drawback, but she’s still young. Currently, she’s a first-year, struggling to keep her emotions in check when fighting.

Quirk: Lightning Bolt. Her parents had different quirks – her father having super strength while her mother was as fast as lightning. Unlike both of her siblings, who only inherited one of the quirks, Kaoru developed both. First, it was the super strength, which they discovered when she was able to lift the sofa with one arm, while both of her parents were sitting on it, at the age of four; the lightning speed cropped up one year later.

V009: Shugo Chara

to be developed better later but some important notes

no, she doesn’t have powers in this verse.

her wish, as much as she will deny it to the world, is for people, especially boys, to not forget she’s still a girl. that as embarrassed she may feel, kaoru does want to be treated nicely, to receive kind gestures, to be seen as someone desirable in a romantic way. but again, very stubborn about it.

her egg is, of course, green. well, the base is green with some different shades of it around it, but there are also some details in yellow, like the flowers spread around the egg.

her chara, after the egg hatched, is a female wearing a white dress and a flower crown on her head ( think of megurine luka’s white dress in “Just be Friends”). the hair, color green, reached past her shoulders. her name is Hana

-----------------------------------------------

CONNECTIONS

The Powerpuff Girls Z :: [ Tammy ]

:: Kaoru ♣ One of a kind friendship ( PPGZ ) ::

:: Kaoru ♣ Extroverted leader ( Momoko : Blossom ) ::

:: Kaoru ♣ Kind fashionista ( Miyako : Bubbles ) ::

Butch :: [ Tammy ]

:: Kaoru ♠ Mean green bastard ( Butch ) ::

Leonardo Hamato :: [ Michi ]

:: Kaoru ♥ How do we rewrite the stars [ Leo ( xsunflowerr ) ] ::

Ryuji Sakamoto :: [ Josie ]

:: Kaoru ♥ Thunder and lightning;; it's getting exciting [ Ryuji ( galaxyveind ) ] ::

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holbeins · 7 years ago

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@humanschallenge - Week 2, Day 2: College/High School AU

“Nissy! Help me stretch, will you?” Mia shouted as she came down the stairs, her high ponytail bouncing with every step. Her sister was occupied in the kitchen with her notebooks, mindmaps, textbooks and laptop spread out all over their kitchen table.

“I’m busy, Mia,” Niska said without lifting her eyes from the screen of her laptop.

“Oh come on, you haven’t taken a single break from writing that philosophy paper since like Wednesday.” It was true; whenever her sister was working on something, she always worked hard. Too hard.

“Yeah, and it’s due tomorrow.”

“Exactly, and how much can you really improve in one night?”

Her sister turned to glare at her through her bangs, then rolled her eyes and sighed in surrender. Mia grinned and leaned against the wall, offering her leg to her sister who grabbed a hold around her ankle, pushing the leg all the way up to her head, toes touching the wall.

“Hester heard from Coach Hawkins that there’ll be scouts in the audience tonight,” she said and held on to her sister’s shoulders, “and not only for the basketball players, but for cheerleaders too. Both she and I could be up for scholarships tonight.”

“Fuck Hester,” Niska muttered.

“Yes, I know she’s the worst but you need to be nice to her –“

“I am nice!”

“- If she does get herself a scholarship, or she’ll notice and she’ll take it out on Leo.”

Niska sighed. “He really needs a new girlfriend.”

“Totally,” she gestured for her sister to let go of her ankle to stretch the other leg. “He should have stuck with Coach Hawkins’s daughter.”

“She was kind of young, though.”

“But obviously mature for her age since she managed to get into college already at sixteen.”

“True. Anyway, I’m not going to go to the game. Like I said, my paper is due tomorrow.”

“But come on, Nis,” Mia whined. “It’s the final game of the season!”

“Philosophy. Paper. Due. Tomorrow. Millican is going to kill me if I hand it in late.”

“You know he adores you, Niska. He’d let you get away with anything.”

“He would not!” She gave another glare as she let go of her sister’s ankle, allowing her to glide down into a perfect front split.

Mia leaned forward and held on to her toes, Niska placed her hands on her back and pressed down and when a realization hit her. “Astrid is playing tonight,” she said and just like she had expected, she felt her sister freeze above her.

“Astrid who?”

“Astrid Schaeffer, the German exchange student from Fred’s class?”

“Oh. Right” she continued pressing her back down, obviously trying to play it cool. “So what?”

“What do you mean ‘so what’?! You totally have a thing for her! Don’t think I don’t notice you checking her out every time she plays.”

“She’s the best player!” Her sister’s voice cracked at ‘player’ and Mia knew for sure that she was blushing.

“Don’t let Hester hear you say that,” she teased.

“Whatever, I’m done helping you,” Niska muttered and left to sit down by her laptop again.

Mia grinned to herself as she stretched her arms towards her toes; her sister could play unbothered all she wanted, Mia knew she’d won again.

“I really shouldn’t be here,” Niska muttered as she watched her sister piggyback ride some tall, blond, broad-shouldered football player, all biceps and quadriceps and whatever-iceps, into the enormous three-story villa that was their oldest brother’s girlfriend’s home. The game had been victorious, 103 to 81, and Hester always threw parties after she won. The guy’s name was Ted or Ed or something like that, Mia had been talking about him non-stop for weeks.

“Well, you are here,” Leo said. “It’ll be good for you to meet some new people, have a bit of fun and make some friends.”

“I have friends,” she snapped.

“Nietzsche and Dr Millican do not count as friends, Niska.”

“Whatever.”

“Tell you what,” he said and reached inside his jacket, plucked out a joint and tucked it behind her ear. “Have one the house. It might even help you with your philosophizing.”

“Leo–“

“No need to thank me, Niska. Just go and have a smoke, relax, chill out, have a nice time, drag a girl ho-“

“Does Hester know you’re dealing?” She interrupted. She was not about to listen to her brother go on about her dragging girls home like he did whenever he was single. It was completely ridiculous, and totally none of his business! Her question succeeded in shutting him up, he didn’t say anything but scraped his foot against the gravel of the driveway which was answer enough. “I’m just saying, this is what broke your last relationship up.“

“I’m very well aware of that, thank you very much.”

“Good. Look, I’m not judging you, I know you need the money. I just remember what a total wreck you were when Mattie dumped you and I don’t want you to ever go through that again.”

“Well, I don’t need a lot more so I only have a few more nights to sell and then I’ll be done, I’ll never need to do it again and Hester won’t need to find out, okay?”

“Okay,” she sighed.

“I appreciate you caring though,” a corner of his mouth tilted upwards a little. “Now go and enjoy yourself.”

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes and began to follow her sister. There had to be at least one quiet spot somewhere in the gigantic backyard where people wouldn’t bother her.

“Hey, Leo,” a familiar voice said behind them.

“Fuck,” she heard her brother whisper.

“So…” Leo exhaled, looking at anywhere but her, fingers tapping the armrest of the couch. A nervous habit, one Mattie knew very well. He was trying to hide it too, she could tell, otherwise his knee would be bouncing as well. “Your new boyfriend seems nice.”

“Odi? Yeah, he’s the sweetest.”

“How did you guys meet?”

“Tinder, actually. One of the better guys on that otherwise crazy app, and one of the nicer jocks at that football university of his. We met up for coffee and just got along really well so we exchanged numbers and now we’re here.”

“And how long have you been dating now?”

“Four months next week.”

Leo took a swig of his beer. “Well, I’m happy for you, Mattie. Really.”

“Thank you, Leo. It really means a lot.” She put her hand over his wrapped around the brown glass bottle, stopping his tapping and making him look her right in the eye for the first time in months. “But enough about me, what about you? Hester seems tough. At least that’s what mom’s told me about her from practice and stuff.”

“Oh yeah, she is. Definitely tough,” He laughed a little. “She might seem little cold at first but once you get to know her she’s great.”

“Well, I’m glad she’s good to you. Mom says she has a bright future in front of her, so…” she paused, hesitating a little before she continued, “hold on to her.”

He smiled, that sad little half-smile where only one corner of his mouth tilted upwards, and opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by her boyfriend approaching with two red solo cups in his hands.

“Sorry I took so long, babe,” he leaned down to peck her lips. “Your brother tried to challenge me to a game of beer pong.”

“Oh my god,” Mattie rolled her eyes and took her drink. “He’s way too cocky for someone who gets drunk after only two beers.”

“Don’t worry, I told him you wouldn’t approve,” he laughed then turned to Leo. “I’m Odi, by the way, Odi Millican.”

“Leo Elster.”

Scheiße, was this party packed with people. And man, was everyone at this party already fucking hammered? She was only thirty minutes late, Jesus Christus.

“Hey, Astrid!” Someone yelled. Astrid turned around and saw her coach’s daughter waving her over from where she was sitting on the porch in between two guys, one of which she recognized her team captain’s boyfriend.

“Hey, Mattie,” She said.

“I just wanted to say congratulations to another incredible game, you did amazing.”

“Aw thanks, but it’s all your mom’s work. I wouldn’t be anything without her as my coach, no one on the team would be.” She threw a glance at the black haired guy next to Mattie. “Or without Hester as our captain, of course.”

“You’re the German, right?” He asked. “She talks a lot about you.”

“Astrid Schaeffer,” she said and shook his hand. “All bad I suppose? She yells at me quite a bit.”

“Nah, she likes you. She’s just hard on anyone that could be a threat to her career, and I guess she sees you as one. Like Mattie said, you’re good.”

“Thanks guys,” she said. “Where is she, anyway? Our infamous team captain.”

“Indoors, being a hostess and making sure no one breaks anything. Go inside and she’ll give you something to drink, everything’s free for her team mates tonight.”

Astrid laughed. “Will do!” Hester might act like she’s the only player on the field, but off the field she was more than generous and while drunk she could actually be kind of nice.

And sure enough, the infamous team captain threw her arms around her neck as soon as she walked through the door, ignoring the fact that she spilled half of her glass of red wine on the floor. “Schaeffer!” She squealed. “Oh my goood, what a game! We were fantastic, totally better than ever!”

“Totally” she gave her a few awkward pats on the back. “You were great, Hester.”

“Aw, thank you, sweetie. Here, have a beer! Or, you know what? Take two, I heard there are some pretty cheerleaders outside,” she winked and gestured towards the crate of Heineken, and a second later she had strutted away somewhere into the house without another word before Astrid had any time to accept or decline

And once you are awake, you shall remain awake eternally.

Niska smiled as she – for the fourth time – reached the page with her favorite quote from the book she was assigned by her philosophy teacher a month ago.

Genius, she thought. Both Nietzsche and Dr Millican.

“This seat taken?” Somebody asked, and Niska had to close her eyes not to roll them in annoyance. She had picked this spot by the little stone fire pit because she was sure no one would hang out there for many hours more, when they were worn out from dancing or simply too drunk to remain standing and then she’d head home where she could finish reading. The sitting bench was several meters long too, there was a lot of space, why were they even asking?

“No,” she said without bothering to look up. She’d finish the chapter, then she would head home. Although she tried he best to ignore it, she felt the person sit down next to her, way to close. She narrowed her eyes as she stared into the book, trying to regain her focus. Please don’t talk to me.

“So…” the person began and Niska sighed. Her siblings could call her boring and asocial and whatever, she was going home and she was never going to go to another party for the rest of her life. “You come here often?”

Jesus, what a jerk. Niska slammed her book shut and was prepared to leave without a single word when she saw who it was that had sat down next to her, in a varsity jacket in the schools signature greenish blue colors and in her own signature hairstyle of having half her long brown hair put up into a messy bun, smiling kindly at her. Niska nearly dropped her book. “Oh,” she pushed her glasses up her nose. “Um, not really.”

“Me neither, American house parties are crazy,” the girl said. “I’m Astrid, German exchange student.”

“I know,” Niska blurted before she could stop herself. “I mean– uh, you’re in my brother’s class. Fred?”

“Yeah, I know Fred! He’s cool. He’s your brother?”

“Foster brother.”

“Oh cool, so are you Mia or Niska? He talks about you all quite a bit.”

“I’m Niska. Mia’s the cheer captain.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Niska,” she stretched her hand out, offering her a glass bottle. Her nails were painted black and she wore rings on every other finger. “Beer?”

“No thanks, I don’t drink.”

“But you do smoke?”

“Huh? Oh right…” she had forgotten the joint were still safely tucked behind her ear after her brother put it there. “Occasionally.”

“Is tonight an occasion?”

“Huh?” Niska squeaked. Was it the fire or was it getting really hot? She could feel her glasses gliding.

“How about you and I light that thing up, then we could go somewhere more calm and quiet?” The fire made her eyes glowed like ambers and a mischievous grin spread across her face.

“S-sure,” she stuttered, pushing her glasses up again and she hoped the light of the fire was hiding how deep she was blushing.

#this is like all dialogue but it took such a long time to write wtf #i haven't watched a single highschool drama for like five years #this would be nice to develop into like a miniseries #i wanted to write like 300 things from 300 perspectives #but here's the deal #alsoan au where people vare abourt girls playing sports #mia is a popular cheerleader #niska is a lonely nerd who reads a lot and has no friends #fred's in the school band #mattie and leo study computer science at college #athena is their teacher #odi is a sweet fotball player who loves mattie a lot #astrid is a really good basketball player who came to america to get even better #and also hester is the team captain??? hester + basketball = a combination i guess #i also feel like i need to say that i do not hate hester she's like my 2nd fave #but it makes sense that no one likes her so #AND LAURA IS THEIR COACH like imagine that #karen is the principle #leo sells weed because he needs the money for something i don't know yet #max is a theatre nerd #mia elster #niska elster #laura hawkins #mattie hawkins #odi #astrid schaeffer #nistrid #leo elster #hester

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pendulumprince · 8 years ago

Note

Looking at your blog has me speculating arc v, and I just realized some shit. Did Kaiba not have any idea of what was happening at Academia? Does he ever find out? How do you think the series would've gone if he was involved?

Interesting question!

The one thing that we should probably always keep in mind is that KaibaCorp was the main force behind the development of duel holograms (season 1 of DM) and later, duel disks (DM through 5Ds). Just as we can’t the separate the contemporary card game from Pegasus, dueling technology can’t be separated from Kaiba. He and his company created the foundation on which every other dueling-related technological advancement stems from.

Which means that no matter what universe we’re talking about, Kaiba had to have existed in it. His life and his work is a ‘fixed point’, so to speak. And we know that although the meat of his story was told in DM, that he had a presence in both 5Ds (through the Momentum Generator) and GX (through Academia). Even in Zexal, the fact that duel gazers existence can be taken as proof that Kaiba was once alive.

Arc V’s version of Academia would not exist without Kaiba. But in order to fully answer this question, we’d have to look at the timeline of the five spinoffs and see how they connect.

@astraldirectrix and I were just talking about this recently, and we came up with a tentative theory. There are some vague points just because there isn’t any canon evidence either to support or refute the theory (though if anyone can think of anything, by all means, jump in). But stick with me, I have a method to my madness.

We know that DM-5Ds was one continuous timeline, but that things started getting dicey in the Zexal era. Unlike the first three, Zexal took place not in some incarnation of Domino City, but in an entirely new setting—Heartland. There were instances of people using Advanced, Fusion, and I thiiiiink even Ritual summoning, but not a word on Synchro. D Wheels were also never mentioned.

It’s almost as though… Zexal is what the world would have become, had Zero Reverse never happened.

Old theory, I know. But again, no matter the timeline, Kaiba exists. Zero Reverse was caused directly by the overload of Momentum, a form of energy developed by the MIDS group… founded and funded by KaibaCorp. So working on the assumption that 5Ds and Zexal are two completely different timelines: Zexal is specifically a version of the world where KaibaCorp never went into developing Momentum.

I know you asked about Kaiba and Academia. Don’t worry, I’m getting there!

Now, we know that one of Kaiba’s main, defining character traits is ambition. He’s a risk taker; the threat of disaster doesn’t deter him if he considers the goal to be worth it. So what would stop him from pursuing the development of Momentum?

We can theorize that in what would become the Zexal timeline, something happened to Kaiba towards the end of GX/the beginning of 5Ds’ backstory. Frankly, the only thing I could picture stopping Kaiba from running his company is death, so let’s go with that. Kaiba dies. Mokuba takes over. He continues to conduct research into dueling technology, but does not pursue Momentum energy. Thus, the development of D Gazers, the absence of D Wheels, XYZ instead of Synchro, ect.

So 5Ds and Zexal take in concert with one another, on alternative timelines. They happen, they end, that’s it.

Remember, DM and GX took place before all of this.

Then… something happens to merge the two timelines back together, thus creating the Original Dimension. The only thing I can think of is the creation of solid vision—a momentous occasion that would give duel monster spirits a physical host in the corporal world. We can theorize that it happened at once, in both timelines, allowing the worlds to merge.

And it’s necessary for this to happen, because both the history of 5Ds and Zexal would need to be present in the Original Dimension—because this is the only way both Synchro and XYZ monsters to exist at the same time.

And then, we all know what happened: Zarc goes wild, Ray stops him, the Original Dimension splits up into 4.

Because of this, the timeline is reset. The events of DM, GX, 5Ds and Zexal never happen. Several characters are reborn/remade to fit this new reality (Asuka, Jack, Crow, Kaito, possibly others). Everything is given a clean slate.

One of my favorite Arc V theories is the one stating that Zarc somehow took out our previous 4 protags, and replaced them with his own reincarnations. He would want to minimize the chances that his revival would be stopped, right? And if he couldn’t take out Ray specifically, then the least he could do was take out 4 proven, capable heroes.

And this is supported by the fact that the boys are all foils to the protags who correspond with their main summoning method. Yuya foils Yugi; Yuri foils Judai; Yugo foils Yusei; Yuto foils Yuma.

Back to Kaiba and Arc V’s Academia: Kaiba became the character we all know and love largely though his interactions with Yugi and Yami. Think back all the way to DM’s first episode: Kaiba attacks Grandpa, Yami duels and defeats him… and as a result, is able to exorcise the evil in Kaiba’s heart.

But in Arc V’s time, Yami isn’t around to do that, because Yugi isn’t there to finish the puzzle. So Kaiba stays just as he was in DM’s first episode, with every ounce of vitriolic evil that comes with it. And because everything happening in the four dimensions is happening in concert, there is no time for him to go through character development by any other means. Evil!Kaiba develops duel holograms, develops duel disks; Leo comes in with solid vision. The Fusion Dimension is morally decayed as a result.

I also believe that evil!Kaiba would have been the founder of Academia—whether or not he intended it to be a military school is unlikely, because even at his worst, he never wanted to be like Gozaboro. He founds it to operate as part duel school, part orphanage (seeing as Serena, Yuri, and possibly Sora were all born and raised there).

He runs the school from afar for a few years. Then Leo, in Standard, regains his memories, and for some reason chooses the Fusion Dimension as his base of operations.

And it’s here that we enter the realm of pure speculation. I… don’t see Kaiba willingly selling the school—evil or not, we know because of his history that he wouldn’t want it to be a place churning out child soldiers. I also don’t see Leo successfully deceiving Kaiba with what his intentions for Academia are, nor would he have been able to con Kaiba out of ownership.

You see where I’m headed, right? Leo likely took Academia from Kaiba by force. There’s no evidence that they were ever in any sort of partnership, and knowing them, they wouldn’t have worked well together anyway. There was probably a duel. Kaiba likely lost that duel. Leo, if he had the technology for it already developed, would have carded Kaiba to keep him out of the way.

So to answer your first two questions: Kaiba likely would have had an idea of what Leo’s plans were. He likely didn’t live long enough to stop them.

Now, for your last question: how would the series have gone had he been involved? Remember, Kaiba is still his early DM (possibly even season 0) self. He’s evil. He may not care for child soldiers or war, but that doesn’t make him a good guy. I could see him entering a partnership with Leo, all the while making plans to dispose of him at the right moment.

Would Leo tell Kaiba about Ray, and what his true plans were? Depends: would Leo know about Mokuba? Would this, their only true source of common ground, be something these two villains would ‘bond’ over?

Keeping in mind that here, Kaiba is evil—as opposed to Leo the anti-villain—I don’t think Kaiba would be sympathetic at all. He would regard Leo as laughably weak for not being able to protect his daughter, or his original home. I think he’d also be one of the few to see plain as day that all Leo’s plans are really doing is accelerating Zarc’s revival.

So things would have been different in that Academia’s internal structure would have been disorganized. There would be staff loyal to Kaiba, and staff loyal to Leo. Leo would have to deploy his troops behind Kaiba’s back. Kaiba, again, would be working constantly to get rid of Leo—because this is his home, his school, his students, his legacy, his domain. To Kaiba, Leo is an interloper who has to go, ASAP.

And let’s say he does get rid of Leo? If it’s before the invasion of Heartland, then fine. Leo’s gone, things go back to normal. Kaiba rules the Fusion D with an iron fist but doesn’t wage total war on a defenseless population—mostly because he’d have no reason to.

But if he isn’t able to do away with Leo until after the invasion? Especially if he’s already taken Ruri and Rin? Then shit just got real—because now the boys know when and how to find each other.

What he’d likely do is stop the invasion and send the girls back home, but… the boys still know how to find each other. Yuri has tasted enough power—and Yuto and Yugo, enough grief—for Zarc to awaken and influence them towards each other. So Zarc will be coming; it’ll just take longer. And by the time it does happen, Kaiba likely won’t intervene (seeing it as not being his problem) until it’s too late and the Supreme Dragon King is destroying Academia proper.

Above all, Kaiba would not be a hero here. He’d only be heroic in that he’d oppose Leo; and he’d only oppose Leo because their goals and values wouldn’t have much overlap.

As for Kaiba’s presence in Standard, the Sycnhro D, and the XYZ D? Kaiba could’ve been the one behind The City’s toxic capitalism-gone-wild political structure. Perhaps Standard is only as good as it is because of Yusho’s influence. We don’t know enough about the XYZ D to say why it’s a utopia, but… well, Zexal is the one world where Kaiba, presumably, wasn’t around to see himself. So maybe that could explain it.

#yugioh dm #yugioh gx #yugioh 5ds #yugioh zexal #yugioh arc v #seto kaiba #yugi mutou #yami yugi #leo akaba #my replies #pinkocean316

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The 100 Books Every Man Should Read

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The 100 Books Every Man Should Read

Groucho Marx once said: “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” We’re not quite sure what he meant either, but what we do know is that books are an essential for any man.

So, whether you’re heading off abroad and need a page-turner, or just want to have something other than Harry Kane’s ankle injury to talk about on a Tinder date next week, here are the 100 books that’ll broaden your horizons (and bulk out your bookshelf).

Classics

Men Without Women – Ernest Hemingway

Best For: Understanding Women Classic Hemingway subjects – bullfighting, war, women, more war – in a collection of short stories proving that masculinity lacking a softer touch is a dangerous thing. If you’ve been dumped, or you’re just missing your mum, then you need this.

A Picture of Dorian Grey – Oscar Wilde

Best For: When You’ve Found Another Grey Hair A handsome, innocent young man sells his soul to keep his dashing good looks – and of course it all goes pear-shaped. It’ll make you feel better about the march of time and skipping the gym, plus it’s full of classic Wilde quips you can fire off at the dinner table.

Slaughterhouse-Five – Kurt Vonnegut

Best For: Reaffirming War Is Good For Absolutely Nothing Prisoner of war, optometrist, father, time-traveller, plane-crash survivor: Billy Pilgrim is all these and more in a miraculously moving, bitter and blackly hilarious story of innocence faced with apocalypse.

The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Best For: The DiCaprio Nod Leo rarely puts a foot wrong, but even he couldn’t capture the magnetic Jay Gatsby as well as Fitzgerald did on page. Set in the summer of 1922, with the Roaring Twenties in full swing, this is a terrific unpicking of decadence, social change and excess.

A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess

Best For: Bratchnys A merciless satire of state control, in which Burgess imagined a dystopian future of ultraviolence decades before it became a sci-fi standard. Much of it is written in the slang spoken by teen hero, Alex; ‘bratchnys’ are bastards (and so are Alex and his murderous crew.)

Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov

Best For: Intense Moral Conundrum There’s no sugar-coating this one: a man obsessed with the 12-year-old daughter of his landlady and so marries the mother to be near her. From there, the ground only gets dodgier. The most controversial book on this list is a literary hot potato that will never cool down.

Brighton Rock – Graham Greene

Best For: Seaside Sins Brighton wasn’t always cocktail bars and vintage shops. In 1938, a gang war is raging, and ruthless Pinkie has just killed his first victim. In trying to cover his tracks, he only digs himself into a deeper hole.

1984 – George Orwell

Best For: A Jolt Of Future Shock No list of great books would be complete without this influential masterpiece, which gets more prescient year by year. Winston Smith rewrites the past to suit the needs of the ruling party, who run a totalitarian society under the watchful eye of Big Brother.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love – Raymond Carver

Best For: Toasting Don Draper A collection of brilliant short stories about the lonely men and women of the American Midwest who drink, fish and play cards to ease the passing of time. Along with fellow US short-story master John Cheever, Carver’s words inspired Mad Men.

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest – Ken Kesey

Best For: Breaking The Rules You’ve probably seen the film, but this really is a case of ‘the book is better’. Evil Nurse Ratched rules an Oregon mental institution with an iron fist until new arrival McMurphy, who faked madness to dodge hard labour in the joint, brings chaos and hope to his fellow inmates.

The Catcher In The Rye – J.D.Salinger

Best For: Angst In Your Pants Any book about the harshness of teenage life will resonate with anyone who is or has been a teen, but the misadventures of Holden Caulfield have become the set text, and rightly so. He is cynical, jaded, dickishly rebellious. And we have, in ways big and small, all been there.

Meditations – Marcus Aurelius

Best For: Getting Things Done The innermost thoughts of the Roman Emperor from 161-180AD are a genuinely practical and insightful guide to life almost 1,900 years later. Silicon Valley billionaires and their teams love this book and its ideas for the way it helps them to accept the world as it is, then rule it.

The Go-Between – L.P. Hartley

Best For: Keeping Secrets They say “the past is a foreign country”. Well, that’s because it’s the famous opening line of this novel, in which an old man recalls the summer he spent aged 13 at his friend’s country house, as he shipped illicit messages between his chum’s engaged sister and a local farmer.

Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury

Best For: Page-Turning And Page-Burning In the America of the future, people are addicted to watching soap-opera-style shows on giant screens in their homes. Books are banned, firemen hunt down illicit volumes and burn them. A book about the magic of reading and how we must never let it fade away.

The Odyssey – Homer

Best For: Original Adventure The original homecoming tale – a king’s decade-long slog home after the Trojan War – contains: witches, monsters, betrayal, drugs, cannibals, disguises, a bit of war and quite a lot of slaughter. Every man-on-a-quest story and road movie owes a debt to this remarkable tale.

Bleak House – Charles Dickens

Best For: Epic Shenanigans To be fair, the Dickens pick on this list could have been one of a dozen. But this Victorian doorstop, with its massive cast (including the murky London underworld), is the most impressive and entertaining. A legal tussle over a will plays havoc with the lives of the potential beneficiaries and those around them.

Heart Of Darkness – Joseph Conrad

Best For: “The Horror, The Horror!” In 1890, the author captained a steamboat up the Congo River. A decade later, his novel about something very similar became a sensation. In 1979 it was very freely adapted into the epic Vietnam movie Apocalypse Now. Also, at less than 100 pages, you have no excuses not to finish it.

Frankenstein – Mary Shelley

Best For: The Sum Of Its Parts Yes, everybody now knows that the monster isn’t Frankenstein; that’s the mad scientist who makes him. But did you know that science-fiction was basically invented with this book, written by an 18-year-old girl challenged to come up with a ghost story? Still creepy and relevant despite being 200 years old.

The Long Goodbye – Raymond Chandler

Best For: Prime Pulp Fiction “The girl gave him a look which ought to have stuck at least four inches out of his back.” “He was a guy who talked with commas, like a heavy novel.” “A dead man is the best fall guy in the world. He never talks back.” Just a sample of the hardboiled genius on display in this truly great detective yarn.

The Lord of The Rings – JRR Tolkien

Best For: Hobbit-Forming When it comes to fantasy, there is one story to rule them all. The massive success of the film trilogy based on it does not dim the power of the source material. Amazon is spending $1bn making the TV version. For many, though, the original remains the masterpiece.

Moby Dick – Herman Melville

Best For: A Whale Of A Time Sperm whale eats sailor’s lower leg; sailor tricks other sailors into crewing his revenge mission; it doesn’t go well. A tale of obsession, adventure, maritime manliness and beast-slaying that does not get old as it ages.

Modern

Norwegian Wood – Haruki Murakami

Best For: Brutal Beatlemania When he hears her favourite Beatles song, Toru Watanabe recalls his first love Naoko, the girlfriend of his best friend, Kizuki. Delving into his student years in Tokyo, Toru dabbles in uneasy friendships, casual sex, passion, loss and desire.

Money: A Suicide Note – Martin Amis

Best For: Learning Restraint Wealthy transatlantic movie executive John Self allows himself whatever he wants whenever he wants it: alcohol, tobacco, pills, pornography, a mountain of junk food. It’s never going to end well, is it? A cautionary tale of a life lived without boundaries.

The Road – Cormac McCarthy

Best For: Going Hungry Of the many, many recent stories of survival in a post-apocalyptic dystopian future, this one is the toughest, smartest and the one which stays with you the longest. A father and son contrive to survive in the face of cannibalism, starvation and brutality.

The Sportswriter – Richard Ford

Best For: Knowing The Grass Isn’t Greener Frank Bascombe, it seems, is living the dream: a younger girlfriend and a job as a sports writer. But his inner turmoil and private tragedies show all is not always as it seems, even for those who seem to have it all.

The 25th Hour – David Benioff

Best For: Clock Watching Facing a seven-year stretch for dealing, Monty Brogan sets out to make the most of his last night of freedom. His dad wants him to do a runner, his drug-lord boss wants to know if he squealed, his girlfriend is confused and his friends are trying to prepare him for the worst. It’s a lot to fit in.

We Need To Talk About Kevin – Lionel Shriver

Best For: Questioning Yourself The story of Eva, mother of Kevin, who murdered seven of his fellow high-school students and two members of staff. She’s coming to terms with the fact that her maternal instincts could have driven him off the rails. It’s made worse by the fact that he survived and she can’t help visiting him in prison.

American Pastoral – Philip Roth

Best For: Bursting The American Dream The Sixties was a time for sex, drugs, rock’n’roll and, erm, political mayhem. Swede Levov is living the American dream until his daughter Merry becomes involved in political terrorism that drags the family into the underbelly of society. Totally rad.

American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis

Best For: Career Killers The film is a contemporary masterpiece, but Patrick Bateman is even more evil on paper than he is on screen. An outright psychopath partly made by life on Wall Street, this bitterly black comedy is a classic that’ll keep you in line should you become a desk drone.

The Secret History – Donna Tartt

Best For: Murder Most Moral A group of eccentric misfits at a New England college discover a unique way of thinking thanks to their classics professor, which forces them to contemplate how easy it can be to kill someone if they cross you.

The Watchmen – Alan Moore

Best For: Picturing The Scene The most lauded graphic novel of all time concerns a team of superheroes called the Crimebusters, and a plot to kill and discredit them. Packed with symbolism and intelligent political and social commentary, with artwork as brilliant as the text.

The Corrections – Jonathan Franzen

Best For: Mother’s Day Appreciation After 50 years as a wife and mother, Enid wants to have some fun. But as her husband Alfred is losing his grip on reality, and their children have left the nest, she sets her heart on one last family Christmas. Virtue, sexual inhibition, outdated mental healthcare and globalised greed are all under the tree.

A Brief History of Seven Killings – Marlon James

Best For: Shadowy Thrills One evening in December 1976, gunmen burst into Bob Marley’s house in Jamaica, having shot his wife on the driveway, and shot Bob and his manager multiple times. No arrests were made. True story. James imagines what happens to the perpetrators, with appearances by the CIA and a ghost.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay – Michael Chabon

Best For: Nerd Nirvana The greatest superhero story ever told isn’t about costumed men, but the men who create them. Kavalier & Clay create The Escapist, at the start of comic books’ Golden Age in Thirties New York. He is super-popular; K&C miss out on the big money but can’t avoid the pitfalls of love and war.

Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie

Best For: Magical Realism The tots of the title are all born in the first hour of India’s independence – midnight til 1am on August 15, 1947 – and they all have superpowers. One of them, a telepath, tries to find out why while reaching out to the others. Won the Booker Prize, and twice won Booker best-of votes on anniversaries of the award.

Robert Harris – Fatherland

Best For: Wondering What-If A most chillingly plausible alternate history, in which Germany won World War II (Oxford University is an SS Academy, and the Germans are winning the space race) and senior Nazi party officials are being offed in Sixties Berlin. Turns out there’s a conspiracy to silence the ultimate conspiracy…

The Stand – Stephen King

Best For: Good vs Evil The modern master of genre fiction’s magnum opus is the 1990 Complete and Uncut version of his 1978 novel. A virus has all but wiped out humanity. American survivors gravitate to either Las Vegas (the bad lot) or Boulder, Colorado (the goodies), then the two tribes ready for the showdown.

High-Rise – J.G. Ballard

Best For: Block Party Politics When the residents of a posh tower block find their sweet set-up falling apart, the response is feral. Minor social differences lead to floor-versus-floor violence. The well-to-do become savages, and what that nice Dr Laing does with his neighbour’s dog is decidedly un-vegan.

A Perfect Spy – John Le Carré

Best For: The Secret Life David Cornwell worked as a British intelligence officer for almost nine years before adopting the pen name of John Le Carré and quitting spookery. Of his 23 spy novels, this is the best, perhaps because it’s the most autobiographical, although the made-up secret-service bits are first-rate too.

White Teeth – Zadie Smith

Best For: The Modern World A cross-generational saga of North London life rooted in the British immigrant experience that’s much funnier than the first half of this sentence makes out. The dentistry of the title is what everyone here – Bangladeshi, Jamaican, white British or otherwise – have in common.

Spies – Michael Frayn

Best For: Playing Detective You’re trying to get through a wartime summer in London, but you find out your mum is a German spy. You bring one of your classmates in on the surveillance, but, without your knowledge, she enlists him in her mysterious deeds. Not a ‘whodunit’, more an outstandingly original ‘whoisit’?

American Tabloid – James Ellroy

Best For: Solving JFK’s Murder In the messed-up mind of Ellroy, crime fiction’s self-proclaimed demon dog, the CIA, FBI, Mafia and Hollywood are all involved in the assassination of “Bad-Back Jack”. The rat-a-tat-tat of Ellroy’s short, slang-centric sentences boosts what would still be a fine secret-history yarn to be something powerful and electric.

Style, Fitness & Mind-Enhancement

ABC of Men’s Fashion – Hardy Amies

Best For: Wardrobe Rules Classic style is forever – which is 99 per cent true in the case of this pocket encyclopaedia written in 1964 by a Savile Row legend. When you get to ‘B’, you can be amused by 150 words on ‘Bowler Hats’, but skip ‘Beachwear’ at your peril: “A plain navy blue shirt with white linen trousers will always outshine any patterned job.”

Men of Style – Josh Sims

Best For: Brushing Up Style guides can often be more decorative than useful, but this one, by the venerable fashion journalist Sims, profiles the best-dressed men of the past century so that you can steal for your look the things that make them so undeniably well-dressed.

Men and Style – David Coggins

Best For: Excavating Your True Look It is hard to be stylish if you haven’t grasped what ‘style’ means for you. Coggins understands that it stretches beyond clothes (although they are mightily important) to the influence of your father – yes, him! – your school days, your surroundings and more.

Thinking, Fast And Slow – Daniel Kahneman

Best For: Mind Games Why is there more chance we’ll believe something if it’s in a bold typeface? Why do we assume a good-looking person will be more competent? The answer lies in the two ways we make choices: fast, intuitive thinking, and slow, rational thinking. This book has practical techniques for slower, smarter thinking, so you can make better decisions at work, home and life in general.

How Not To Be Wrong – Jordan Ellenberg

Best For: Number Crunching If the maths you learned in school has slipped your mind, there’s something to be said for this book helping you to re-grasp numbers: a powerful commodity in a post-truth world. You’ll learn to how to analyse important situations at work and at play – and how early you actually need to get to the airport.

Happiness By Design – Paul Dolan

Best For: Living The Good Life As figures prove, we’re all stretched and stressed. So how can we make it easier to be happy? Using the latest cutting-edge research, Dolan, a professor of behavioural science, reveals that wellbeing isn’t about how we think, it’s about what we do.

The Chimp Paradox – Steve Peters

Best For: Retraining Your Brain Peters helped British Cycling, Ronnie O’Sullivan, and other pro sports stars win more. He says our brains are emotional (the chimp bit), logical (human) and automatically instinctive (like a computer). We can’t shut off the monkey, but with work, the other two parts can control it. Reading this won’t make you World Snooker Champion, but you will be empowered to make more successful choices in life.

Reasons To Stay Alive – Matt Haig

Best For: Mental Wellbeing Aged 24, Haig was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression and contemplating suicide. His memoir of coming back from the brink is an honest, moving and funny exploration of triumph over failing mental health that almost destroyed him.

The World’s Fittest Book – Ross Edgley

Best For: Getting Into The Right Shape Quite the claim in the title there, but ‘fitness adventurer’ Edgley backs it up with straightforward and achievable ways to lose weight, tone up and get shredded. Less about following fitness plans (result) and more about applying basic concepts so you can exercise in the right way.

Feet In The Clouds – Richard Askwith

Best For: Running On Empty If you love exercising, you’ll love this dispatch from the world of fell running. If you don’t, then reading about the people who commit to running up and down mountains will help you understand why they love it, and maybe some of their motivation will rub off on you.

Real Fast Food – Nigel Slater

Best For: Cooking IRL Encouragement to eat out of the pan, ingredients in tins and the secret to a perfect bacon sandwich: Slater has over 350 recipes that take less than 30 minutes and don’t require much cheffing, written so any fool can follow them. His take on bacon? Smoked streaky, nearly crisp, untoasted white bread dipped in the bacon fat, no sauce.

Five Quarters – Rachel Roddy

Best For: Pasta Perfection Italian food done simply and totally authentically. The author moved to Rome from the UK on a whim in 2005 and taught herself how to cook like an Italian nonna. Veggies will find a lot to love in this one, too.

Roast Chicken And Other Stories – Simon Hopkinson

Best For: English Classics A book beloved by chefs and food writers, for good reason: Hopkinson makes everything, even the offal, sound absolutely delicious. He picks 40 ingredients, explains why they’re essential, then gives a few recipes for each. Cooking, he says, is about making food you like to eat, not showing off.

Made In India: Cooked In Britain – Meera Sodha

Best For: Takeaway At Home Totally debunking the ‘it’s too hard to make good curries’ myth, this splendid work also has pictures showing important stages of recipes, not just a food-porn shot of the final dish. Also tons of delicious things even curry-house connoisseurs might not have heard of.

Why We Sleep – Matthew Walker

Best For: Ruling The Land Of Nod Everyone knows that they should get more, better sleep, but actually trying to do so can be stressful enough to cause lack of sleep. This bestseller unpicks exactly what happens when your head hits the pillow. More importantly, it explains why and how to get your head right beforehand.

How To Be A Woman – Caitlin Moran

Best For: Opposite Sex Education Since this is the book that “every woman should read”, according to one of its many, many amazing reviews, then surely every man would benefit from reading it, too? A feminist manifesto disguised as a hilarious memoir (or is it vice versa?) from one of the UK’s funniest writers.

The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle

Best For: Spiritual Enlightenment The author was approaching 30 and borderline suicidal, when he had an epiphany, separating what made him happy real from what was, mostly, the bullshit dragging him down. Years trying to understand how he saw the light meant he can explain it, better than the others who have tried, so you can do the same, too.

Sit Down and Be Quiet – Michael James Wong

Best For: Boosting Body And Mind The genius of this yoga and mindfulness manual for the modern man is in the way it presents those two practices as things you already do in some ways (habits from childhood and sport, mainly). Then, the ways you’re not doing them – physical and mental techniques – are put forth in a non-preachy manner.

Knowledge

A Short History of Nearly Everything – Bill Bryson

Best For: Well, Nearly Everything We could have put this in the science section, given it is a scientific history ranging from the Big Bang to mankind. Anyway: now think of your best-ever teacher. Bryson is like that – curious, witty, in love with his subject – and learning along with him is a pleasure.

Sapiens – Yuval Noah Harari

Best For: A Selfie Of Ourselves Humans came to rule the world, according to this global bestseller, because we mastered fire, gossip, agriculture, mythology, money, contradictions and science. Harari himself is a master of distilling big ideas and concepts, and his book full of them will make your smarter.

Prisoners Of Geography – Tim Marshall

Best For: Mapping It All Out How and why countries do stuff to other countries because of the landscape, the climate, the culture and the natural resources available: that’s geopolitics. And to get a grip on why the world is how it is – no more important time to do that than right now – you read this.

Stasiland – Anna Funder

Best For: Cold War Stories In East Germany, the Stasi was the state security apparatus, which investigated the country’s citizens to an astonishing degree. A few years after the Berlin Wall fell, Funder met with former spies, handlers and resistance operatives, all with incredible tales.

The Plantagenets – Dan Jones

Best For: Past Glory One of the breed of young historians making history TV must-see again, Jones also writes big, juicy, novelistic books. This is the one that takes in 280 years of England and its kings from 1120, including Crusades, Black Death, civil war, war with France, heroes, legends, sacking of cities and all the rest of it. Truly stirring stuff.

Life 3.0 – Max Tegmark

Best For: AI, OK? Artificial intelligence is going to change humanity perhaps more than any other technology, so you kind of owe it to yourself to know what’s coming down the pipe. Tegmark smartly and succinctly puts forward all the arguments for and against the rise of the robots – because rise they will.

Seven Brief Lessons on Physics – Carlo Rovelli

Best For: Demystifying The World, Quickly As it says on the tin: between six and eight short essays about life, the universe and everything, which will tease and enlarge your brain, not tie it in knots. Perfectly formed into 96 pages that deliver a masterclass in relativity, quantum mechanics and mankind’s place in time in space.

The Sixth Extinction – Elizabeth Kolbert

Best For: Reaching The End Times No prizes for guessing that number six on the list of mass extinction events is happening now, as humankind reduces species diversity on Earth like nothing since the asteroid that finished off the dinosaurs 65 million years ago. This book, grippingly, reports on what’s happening now, and those times before.

Behave – Robert Sapolsky

Best For: Why We Do What Do Every one of us is a student of human behaviour, so a book that gives you a distinct advantage over our classmates can only be A Good Thing. That it’s written by a scientist with a sense of humour nailing his mission to demystify complex science is a massive bonus also.

The Making Of The Atomic Bomb – Richard Rhodes

Best For: Explosive Insight An epic recollection of how mankind came to harness, then unleash, the power of the atom. From the first nuclear fission to the bombs that dropped on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, Rhodes marshals a huge cast of scientists (and spies) and leaves no stone unturned.

Inspiration

Long Walk To Freedom – Nelson Mandela

Best For: Genuine Inspiration The short version of Mandela’s life is widely known, but his detailed and moving autobiography, published in 1994, the year he became president of South Africa, is a never-to-be-forgotten account of his fight against apartheid.

I Am Zlatan – Zlatan Ibrahimovich

Best For: Ego Boosts And Footy Boots He is, by his own account, one of the greatest footballers of the modern age. Whether or not you agree, his life story is fascinating, and he gets stuck in on the page as on the pitch. “If Mourinho lights up a room, Guardiola draws the curtains.”

H Is For Hawk – Helen Macdonald

Best For: Grasping Nature’s Power This multi-award winning memoir has a most unusual premise. The author, when “a kind of madness set in” after the death of her father, drives up to Scotland from Cambridge to buy a goshawk for £800 and spends a year training it.

Do No Harm – Henry Marsh

Best For: Surgical Precision Marsh is a consultant neurosurgeon and this, his first volume of memoirs, is a glimpse inside his mind and, indeed, those of his patients. He has little time for NHS middle management, and is as precise with (literally) cutting remarks and insightful asides as he is with his scalpel.

Touching The Void – Joe Simpson

Best For: Life Or Death Scenarios Picture the scene (it starts on page 68 of this adventure classic, if you need some help): you are up a mountain, in difficult conditions, when you slip and fall. You are hanging from the rope tied to your companion, but he has to decide: if he doesn’t cut the rope, you likely both die. What would you do? A real-life version plays out in this astonishing story.

Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas – Hunter S Thompson

Best For: Madness And Mayhem The inventor of gonzo journalism recalls – lord only knows how – a drugs binge to Vegas with his attorney. In lesser hands, this would have been boring, because reading about other people being high is almost always dull. With Thompson in charge, this trippy travelogue fizzles with mad energy.

Unreasonable Behaviour – Don McCullin

Best For: Life Behind A Lens As life stories go, this one takes some beating. A 15-year-old with no qualifications ends up as one of the great war photographers, taking in Vietnam, Africa and the Middle East. He also takes a bullet in the camera and is pushed to physical and emotional extremes in the theatres of conflict.

Fever Pitch – Nick Hornby

Best For: The Fannish Inquisition The best book ever written about what it’s like to be a football fan, despite the glut of titles that has followed it since it was published in 1992. Hornby’s Arsenal addiction can be mapped onto any club, and his insight and honesty ring so very true.

The Story Of The Streets – Mike Skinner

Best For: Rapper’s Delight It will come as no surprise to anyone who has paid attention to lyrics by The Streets that the book written by the man behind them displays both a love of words and a refreshingly honest look at the world. Part guide to the highs and lows of fame, part unpicking of hip-hop as an art form, all good.

How Not To Be A Boy – Robert Webb

Best For: The Male Comedians’ memoirs are ten-a-penny, but this one stands out because the star of Peep Show goes deep into the difficulties of being ‘different’ as a boy in the 1970s and 1980s, his complicated early family life and what it means to be a man in today’s world. Of course, it’s very funny, too.

Steve Jobs – Walter Isaacson

Best For: Getting To Apple’s Core As well as the amazing tale of the rise, fall and rise again of Apple, and the stories behind its iconic products, Issacson’s official biog of geek god Jobs does one thing few official biogs do: print the negative stuff. Jobs could be, often, a douchebag, and learning that along with the positives makes this a must-read.

Fast Company – Jon Bradshaw

Best For: Taking A Punt Six profiles of legendary gamblers and chancers, including pool legend Minnesota Fats, tennis hustler Bobby Riggs and poker players Pug Pearson and Johnny Moss. “Money won is twice as sweet as money earned,” says Paul Newman as Eddie Felson in The Color Of Money. Here’s proof.

Killing Pablo – Mark Bowden

Best For: Crowning The Kingpin Even if you have watched Narcos on Netflix, this biography of Pablo Escobar will still make your jaw drop. That TV show, as good as it is, only scratched the surface. Bowden, a newspaper reporter, interviewed dozens of sources, allowing him to piece together Escobar’s remarkable ascent and descent.

The Right Stuff – Tom Wolfe

Best For: Reaching For The Stars “This book grew out of some ordinary curiosity,” said its author in 1983, four years after it was published. Yet there is nothing ordinary about it. Wolfe wondered what made a man want to sit on top of a giant tube of fuel and be hurtled into space. In the lives of US Navy test pilots and the Mercury astronauts, he found the answers, and with them wrote an all-time great non-fiction book.

The Lost City of Z – David Grann

Best For: Exploring Your Options One of the reviews called this “the best story in the world, told perfectly” and that’s fair enough, really. In 1925, British explorer Colonel Percy Fawcett went missing in Brazil while searching for a mythical settlement. This book investigates why, and the author embarks on his own Amazonian quest.

Outliers: The Story of Success – Malcolm Gladwell

Best For: Secrets Of Success Gladwell is most well known for The Tipping Point, but this book about what high achievers have in common is a more in-depth and engaging read. A big part of what makes people make it big is the hard yards: doing something for 20 hours a week for a decade, or about 10,000 hours. Start tomorrow? Why not?

Hit Makers – Derek Thompson

Best For: Being In With The In Crowd If you want to know why Star Wars is so popular, and why nothing ever really goes viral, then Thompson is your man. His study of pop culture’s most beloved items ranges from Game Of Thrones and Taylor Swift to Pokémon Go and Spotify.

Factfulness – Hans Rosling, Ola Rosling, Anna Rosling Rönnlund

Best For: Rebooting Your World Knowledge Bill Gates has a website on which he posts book recommendations, and liked this one so much he paid for every US college graduate in 2018 to get the ebook version. You might want to join those four million ex-students and be delighted to have much of what you know about the world put right by fascinating hard facts.

Bad Blood – John Carreyou

Best For: Fraud Or Flawed? It’s the story of the age: 19-year-old founds a medical start-up; raises $700m on the promise of a blood-testing machine that never really exists; her $10bn company collapses, with $600m of investors’ money gone. Was it just Silicon Valley hot air or a massive, deliberate fraud?

Doughnut Economics – Kate Raworth

Best For: The Future Of Your Money Experts are divided about Raworth’s ring-shaped model of how economics should be – the flow of money and trade keeping humans and Earth in good shape – but they are all talking about it. She recognises systems and effects, such as climate change and social movements, which standard economics ignore. Her argument is powerful.

Distraction

Me Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris

Best For: First-Person Hilarity The best of several collections of brilliant essays from the American humourist deals partly with his moving to Normandy in France, and partly with his life before that, in rural America and New York City. One of these every morning on the way to work would banish commuter blues immediately.

How To Lose Friends & Alienate People – Toby Young

Best For: Tragic Tragicomedy Young is now a right-leaning columnist and social media ‘star’. In a previous life, he got a job on the American magazine Vanity Fair, and dropped the ball spectacularly. Anyone who’s ever felt like a square peg in a workplace round hole (so, that’ll be everyone, then) will find much to laugh at here.

Our Dumb Century – The Onion

Best For: Mocking The Decades In terms of jokes-that-work-per-page hit rate, this is probably the funniest book in the world. Before social media, The Onion’s parody news site was the funniest thing online (they still do pretty good). This special project magnificently takes the Michael out of news and newspapers from 1900 to 1999. In today’s fake news era, this has become even more hilarious.

Spoiled Brats – Simon Rich

Best For: Eye-Watering Laughs Rich writes the sort of charming and amusing essays that Steve Martin and Woody Allen used to do, and there are a dozen in this volume. But it’s the novella Sell Out that makes this a must-read. A Brooklyn pickle-maker falls into the brine and is fished out 100 years later, to face the hipsters who have taken over his town. Your correspondent cried with laughter.

I, Partridge – Steve Coogan

Best For: Pitch-Perfect Parody A spot-on mocking of celebrity autobiography and a celebration of Britain’s best-loved failed chat-show host and digital radio DJ. Even better than reading this with Partridge’s voice in your head is listening to the audiobook, with Coogan-Partridge in absolutely magnificent form.

The Photo Ark – Joel Sartore

Best For: All Creatures Great And Small As ambitions go, it’s lofty and admirable: take a picture of all 12,000 species living in the world’s wildlife sanctuaries and zoos before an increasing number of them become extinct. As of May 2018, 12 years in, Sartore was two-thirds of the way there. This book covers the first 6,000 species.

Essential Elements – Edward Burtynsky

Best For: Seeing The World Through New Eyes Burtynsky is a Canadian photographer who uses a large camera to take vast-scale images of our changing planet, from seemingly endless rows of workers in Chinese factories to aerial views of oil fields in California. He makes the sort of images you can spend hours finding new things in.

Greatest Of All Time: A Tribute To Muhammad Ali – various

Best For: Knockout Storytelling Anyone saying “print is dead” hasn’t encountered this beautiful object, which has collector’s editions at £11,000 and a regular version 110 times cheaper yet almost as powerful. Ali is still sport’s most celebrated story, and the words and pictures on the 652 foot-square pages here tell that tale in the absolute best possible way.

Kenneth Grange: Making Britain Modern – various

Best For: Design Classics, UK Style A hero of industrial design as good as his more famous peers at Apple or Braun, Grange devised dozens of iconic products including Kodak cameras, Anglepoise lamps, Wilkinson Sword razors, parking meters and the Intercity 125 train. This catalogue of his career is a beautifully designed book full of beautifully designed things.

The Classic Car Book – Giles Chapman

Best For: Four-Wheeled Nirvana Quite simply a treasure trove of thousands of photos of awesome automobiles from the 1940s to the 1980s, with nerdy spec data and potted histories of cars, marques and makers.

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michaelaccw04-blog · 7 years ago

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Music In Our Institutions Month ® (MIOSM).

Join us in commemorating Popular music In Our Universities Month (MIOSM)! August 21: Sun-Uranus trine Leave worry behind and only nobly say just what's in your soul. Difficulty Times: August 2-January 2, 2018: Uranus retrograde Unpredictable Uranus creates its own annual five-month backspin with your twelfth residence of closing, healing as well as impressions. To recognize Trump is also to recognize his charm as an aspirational brand to the worst individuals in the United States. The Planet's Largest Concert and also MIOSM get to additional pupils and also educators through making the WLC important credit ratings readily accessible by means of the Web via a relationship with Sibelius Music, enabling the improved participation from senior high school bands and orchestras. Communicator Mercury switches retrograde (- retrograde) off August 12 till September 5, which can disrupt traveling, communication and also modern technology. Rocketeers on the station generally hit it off, irrespective of race. On August 25, structured Saturn finishes a five-month retrograde with Sagittarius and also your specialist tenth residence. August 21: Sun-Uranus trine Kindred feelings unite! Scott Kelly and also Tim Kopra are standing next on a steel system in July, furnished in NASA space suits. If you loved this short article and you would certainly like to get more information pertaining to welltipos.info kindly visit our own internet site. You may possess placed the wheels moving on July 23 at the very first Leo brand-new moon. The grand finale arrives on August 21, when the second from a set from rare Leo new moons shines the spotlight on you-- once more! Problem Days: August 4: Jupiter-Pluto square A task is actually removaling quickly, but you might feel out from management, doubtful whether to tromp the brake or allow factors spiral right into the unknown. It's the sequel to the February 10 Leo lunar eclipse, therefore do not be surprised if tasks, conversations or people off 6 months ago suddenly resurface.

A burst of self-worth comes in the nick of time on August 7, when the Aquarius moon shines the limelight on your conversational 3rd house, paving the way for appealing relationships. The month ends with organized Solar system completing a five-month retrograde in Sagittarius and also your eleventh home from unity.

Ten Tips To Stay clear of Failing In gel.

Much more than one in five college students which dealt with sponsored study at eight Huge Ten colleges studied by Ohio State economist Bruce Weinberg, featuring Indiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Purdue, and also Ohio State, kept in the condition where they went to university-- THIRTEEN percent from all of them within fifty miles from the campus. While you'll delight in the interest (#Leo), possessing both worlds in your very first home of personal means falling in love with YOUR lifestyle again. As an alternative, that is the Republican politician Celebration-- in the form of Our lawmakers and traditional institutions-- that seems to be primarily to become accountable, and also Trump which is being tamed.

How To Have gel Completely free.

While nearly half of all university student today are grownups, no nationwide publication has actually ever before placed colleges based upon which serve grown-up pupils most effectively-- previously To create its unique position of the most ideal two-year as well as four-year colleges for adult learners, the Washington Monthly assembled reams of records on which colleges most ideal comply with these trainees' unique needs, like plenty of weekend break, evening, and also online lessons to accommodate occupied job schedules.

gel Is actually So Famous, Yet Why?

Virtually anybody you chat along with about the market value of the Space Station eventually begins talking about Mars. MIOSM is actually a possibility for music educators to bring their music plans to the focus of the area and also the school, and also to present the advantages that coach popular music gives pupils of any ages.

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years ago

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The 100 Books Every Man Should Read

http://fashion-trendin.com/the-100-books-every-man-should-read/

The 100 Books Every Man Should Read

Classics

Men Without Women – Ernest Hemingway

A Picture of Dorian Grey – Oscar Wilde

Slaughterhouse-Five – Kurt Vonnegut

The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald

A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess

Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov

Brighton Rock – Graham Greene

1984 – George Orwell

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love – Raymond Carver

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest – Ken Kesey

The Catcher In The Rye – J.D.Salinger

Meditations – Marcus Aurelius

The Go-Between – L.P. Hartley

Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury

The Odyssey – Homer

Bleak House – Charles Dickens

Heart Of Darkness – Joseph Conrad

Frankenstein – Mary Shelley

The Long Goodbye – Raymond Chandler

The Lord of The Rings – JRR Tolkien

Moby Dick – Herman Melville

Modern

Norwegian Wood – Haruki Murakami

Money: A Suicide Note – Martin Amis

The Road – Cormac McCarthy

The Sportswriter – Richard Ford

The 25th Hour – David Benioff

We Need To Talk About Kevin – Lionel Shriver

American Pastoral – Philip Roth

American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis

The Secret History – Donna Tartt

The Watchmen – Alan Moore

The Corrections – Jonathan Franzen

A Brief History of Seven Killings – Marlon James

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay – Michael Chabon

Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie

Robert Harris – Fatherland

The Stand – Stephen King

High-Rise – J.G. Ballard

A Perfect Spy – John Le Carré

White Teeth – Zadie Smith

Spies – Michael Frayn

American Tabloid – James Ellroy

Style, Fitness & Mind-Enhancement

ABC of Men’s Fashion – Hardy Amies

Men of Style – Josh Sims

Men and Style – David Coggins

Thinking, Fast And Slow – Daniel Kahneman

How Not To Be Wrong – Jordan Ellenberg

Happiness By Design – Paul Dolan

The Chimp Paradox – Steve Peters

Reasons To Stay Alive – Matt Haig

The World’s Fittest Book – Ross Edgley

Feet In The Clouds – Richard Askwith

Real Fast Food – Nigel Slater

Five Quarters – Rachel Roddy

Roast Chicken And Other Stories – Simon Hopkinson

Made In India: Cooked In Britain – Meera Sodha

Why We Sleep – Matthew Walker

How To Be A Woman – Caitlin Moran

The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle

Sit Down and Be Quiet – Michael James Wong

Knowledge

A Short History of Nearly Everything – Bill Bryson

Sapiens – Yuval Noah Harari

Prisoners Of Geography – Tim Marshall

Stasiland – Anna Funder

The Plantagenets – Dan Jones

Life 3.0 – Max Tegmark

Seven Brief Lessons on Physics – Carlo Rovelli

The Sixth Extinction – Elizabeth Kolbert

Behave – Robert Sapolsky

The Making Of The Atomic Bomb – Richard Rhodes

Inspiration

Long Walk To Freedom – Nelson Mandela

I Am Zlatan – Zlatan Ibrahimovich

H Is For Hawk – Helen Macdonald

Do No Harm – Henry Marsh

Touching The Void – Joe Simpson

Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas – Hunter S Thompson

Unreasonable Behaviour – Don McCullin

Fever Pitch – Nick Hornby

The Story Of The Streets – Mike Skinner

How Not To Be A Boy – Robert Webb

Steve Jobs – Walter Isaacson

Fast Company – Jon Bradshaw

Killing Pablo – Mark Bowden

The Right Stuff – Tom Wolfe

The Lost City of Z – David Grann

Outliers: The Story of Success – Malcolm Gladwell

Hit Makers – Derek Thompson

Factfulness – Hans Rosling, Ola Rosling, Anna Rosling Rönnlund

Bad Blood – John Carreyou

Doughnut Economics – Kate Raworth

Distraction

Me Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris

How To Lose Friends & Alienate People – Toby Young

Our Dumb Century – The Onion

Spoiled Brats – Simon Rich

I, Partridge – Steve Coogan

The Photo Ark – Joel Sartore

Essential Elements – Edward Burtynsky

Greatest Of All Time: A Tribute To Muhammad Ali – various

Kenneth Grange: Making Britain Modern – various

The Classic Car Book – Giles Chapman

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