#and lacking the energy for anything
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BESTIES!
#i am not infact dead#im just.... overestimated and depressed and overall exhausted rn#and lacking the energy for anything#my job is kicking my ass and i have to prep for exams on top of doing 12 hr shifts and im not eating well and my brain is being a jerk...#its a lot#promise ill be back tho!!#i have so many hotch fics in my drafts ready to read and unleash feral tags!!#but im !! just!! not!! coping!! rn!!#im sorrrrrry#its just... A Time rn#raven in her flop era#raven rambles#raven misses all of you so much#esp my darling angel fay#and my chaotic trash goblin partner in crime
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the brainrot won
#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without-#distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just-#super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff#i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i-#read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :(#SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!!#but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little-#break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think#ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for-#designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much...#WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to#umm. tags.#new life smp#smallishbeans#mythical sausage#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#inthelittlewood#my art#sketch
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sometimes ill indulge myself and draw things a little bit silly
#blood cw#iovitus rainbreak#my art#charr#gw2 charr#guild wars charr#gw2#gw2 art#gw2 ocs#gw2 oc#gw2 fan submission#guildwars2#guild wars 2#guild wars art#guild wars oc#sorry for lack of posting ive had like no energy to do anything
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Just watched Final Fantasy VII Advent Children (found the whole thing on YouTube) :) going to gush a tiny bit about the remnants now because we love them way more than before now
We expected Kadaj to be our favorite and he is our favorite appearance-wise, we love his design, but we think Yazoo's character won us over XD Yazoo's a freaking gremlin sometimes and we love him for it. He's enjoying himself. And throwing it in there that we like Yazoo's laugh. We like Yazoo, maybe we'll just leave it at that lmao. Also, Loz telling Yazoo not to cry and immediately crying not even 10 seconds later will never not be funny to us-
Overall, we had fun watching it! Was fun to actually get to see it and not just random little clips. Yazoo's definitely our overall favorite remnant now XD
We also can't be the only ones who think Reno and Yazoo would be perfect for each other if they weren't enemies, right? They match each other's energy surprisingly well-
#final fantasy vii#ff7#final fantasy vii advent children#remnants of sephiroth#kadaj ff7#yazoo ff7#loz ff7#This ended up being a little more about Yazoo than the other two XD#What can we see? He won us over with his gremlin energy#All the remnants are little gremlin children but Yazoo's probably the most gremlin of the three#We've said gremlin too much... It doesn't look like a word anymore-#A random post about some blorbos of ours. Just wanted to talk about them because we love them :)#If we could draw humans we would totally draw them but our ability to draw anything other than dragons is lacking#Will probably just draw them as dragons or something when we get the free time
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I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL OF YOU ‼️‼️‼️
#blog#i wish i didnt suck so baaaaad at talking#and i wish i had the energy to socialize#man if this is how drained i am when unemployed/not in school imagine if i actually fucking did anything#id just be dead#can someone just make a discord server so i can join it and talk to you all#even then though i suck so bad at keeping up with those [broken heart emoji] (my emoji button isnt working)#i mute them once and then bc of my lack of object permanence i just forget they even exist and the cycle continues....#still it would be a godsend if i could have a server to talk with u all in....................
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rolls around on the floor........ so anyway, i failed my attempt to fix my sleep schedule... now i'm just gonna try waking up a bit earlier every day until i feel at least somewhat like a human being ashjfgds
#went to take the zzzquil last night.... then had the thought 'oh i should make sure this doesn't have interactions with any of my meds'#turns out there is a (rare) interaction so i backed out :x#still managed to sleep a little earlier!! and wake up a little earlier!!!#.......but i'm really bad at forcing myself to get up with an alarm so it wasn't nearly as early as i wanted#and then my brain was really smelly about doing anything... so i did my laundry went for a walk and played my dumb hyperfixation games#(i am still playing my hyperfixation games it is actually a fucking problem at this point)#but yeah!! i just!!!! idfk#i'm gonna stop saying i'm gonna do anything on a certain day bc that just adds pressure to my weenie brain and makes me wanna do it less#gonna just see how i feel and do things as i feel like/as i have motivation and/or energy#it's v hard to work urself back into a structured schedule when u've lived a very unstructured life for like a decade...........#(i did this to myself)#(but i blame my autistic burnout for being the thing that's fucked me up over and over for 2 entire decades akjsfhds)#(.........i'm drunk. ignore me i just. feel bad for the absence/lack of dm replies so i wanted to make a note idk idk jklashfds)#(now i'm just crying over all ur sweet tags on my promo 🥺🥺)#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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ive started to really despise self help posts because all they do for me is illustrate just how apparently fucked i am compared to most other people
#vent#bloody hell#like gods this shit works for you??#such bullshit#i know its not good to be mad at other people for being happier than you#but fuck dude why cant i ever get a win bigger than ''fine i guess i dont wanna kill myself''#like thats great and all but im still in the exact same hole as before!#ive never even needed self help posts in the first place- all i need is to pull myself together and fix things#... no thats a lie. i havent been able to do that in years.#call it lack of energy or motivation or willpower or whatever#nowadays even when people like my brother try to help me as much as they know how#i just cant manage to try#i tried so hard for years and where did that get me? burnout 2 electric boogaloo#i can try to light the spark like i used to as much as i want#never gonna catch if theres nothing left to burn#cant even slow down#because i know that wont fix anything#ill be just as exhausted as before because my energy levels are perpetually at 0 i guess.#''just try harder'' WHY???#WHY ARE YOU TRYING IN THE FIRST PLACE??#what is giving you the motivation to keep pushing on like that??#what could possibly be so important to you that its worth ALL OF THIS!??#i dont understand#i remember i used to push on despite everything#but there was no reason. i was fighting cause what else could i do?#but as soon as i realized that i ran out of steam. not quite the same when you realize youre ruining yourself for literally no reason#because you never considered doing anything else#what a fucking joke
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Getting reused to drawing him is hard...
#licorice cookie#i dont have anything too big rn i just have little doodles😭#my art#i love u licorice cookie... also dont mind the unfinished comic i just liked how it came out#sorry for the lack of good stuff ive been depressed like crazy🙄 im fine im just super low energy with no ideas#also ive been into mha and. shigaraki. so i went a while without drawing my baby#😕sorry wife
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love when i feel skinny bc i had a decent eating day just to look in the mirror and be met with reality 🤪
#one day#one day i'll have the energy to work out even if its only for 5min#bc this lack of sleep and being a single mom means my focus is solely on keeping baby alive. i have 0 energy for anything else#(besides work & errands & things. thats basically a given that i cant/wont/dont ignore em)#i do stretch daily but thats as much as i can do rn
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毎日 | Kenshi Yonezu
あなただけ側にいてレイディー 焦げるまで組み合ってグルービー 日々共に生き尽くすには また永遠も半ばを過ぎるのに 駆けるだけ駆け出してブリージング 少しだけ祈ろうぜベイビー 転がるほどに願うなら 七色の魔法も使えるのに
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Lady, just stay by my side Combine until we burn, groovy To live through each day together Even halfway through eternity Just keep running and breezing, baby Let's pray a little, baby If we wish enough as we roll We can even use a seven-colored magic
#毎日#every day#米津玄師#kenshi yonezu#lost corner#音楽#gif#my gifs#when i tell you that i've wanted to gif this mv since it's release !#just like the lyrics tho#毎日 毎日 毎日 毎日 僕は僕なりに頑張ってきたのに！！！！#i felt this so much during the job search & feel it even more right now#being so drained after work that there's basically no time or energy for creative pursuits has been unbelievably frustrating#so it's nice to have a song which acknowledges those feelings#and is also like 'you must persist regardless!'#so here we are months later >.<#despite the obvious tension in the lyrics i love how upbeat this song is#the parts where he goes ぢっ！ and ハイホー！ハイホー！#🤸🚀🗓️💡#very interesting that this song was largely inspired by the creative process (and all the struggles it entails)#bc i think it goes hand in hand with the themes of post human & the commentary kenshi yonezu made about ai#how ai lacks that most crucial element#that the process is centered around joy more than anything and will continue to be
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balls deep in the worst depressive episode i've had since i was a teenager
#is tbis what my 20s are gonna be like like im just going to be a depressed loser whos afraid of being seen outside#like not to be alarming or anything bc i lack the energy to do much of anything but my minds been going really dark places 😄#um anyways we stay silly or whatever#dl
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working on a gifset and can i just say phia saban the ACTRESS THAT YOU ARE:
the sharp fucking turn when he's like wubuwbwu its a lieeee, the withering looks she gave him. it was excellent.
#tbd#anti helaemond#i guess sorry lol#full offence but i would just throw myself into the godseye if helaena looked at me like that#anyway listen the show is trash and yeah x sucks and y sucks but like i know she channelled all the energy for this one#l'm so bitter about like the lack of helaegon and even saltier bc tom and phia tried to get scenes#they fucked like the worst moment of these two chars lives and didn't even let them share in a loss that only the two of them could fathom#but man i felt it here she was channelling it here ok that's all i can say#it was sooooo you come onto my balcony after you tried to kill my husband and now u try to lie to meee????#will anything come of this? no because condom and hiss are trash but like i am sorryyyyy for enjoying this but i'm not#it's all nonsense but i'm willing to take my CRUMB!!!#but yeah like to be clear: it's frustrating that she's relegated to this no taste for flying shit and i hate it so much#genuinely a disgusting thing to throw in there for a char who canonically loved nothing more than flying on her fucking dragon#bc if they are so determined for her to not wanna burn people there is literally everything to gain and nothing to lose#by having her fly around on dreamfyre just as a show of strength or scouting or anything#and faux feminist sara piss i'll never forgive you for your gross writing#like fucking hate show clownmond so much but like yeah she is his only option i agree#but i'm just going to enjoy this in isolation bc it was so cathartic after rr and a*mond continued to torture a fucking bedridden aegon#and an entire season of his fam treating him like shit#hotd spoilers
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small doodle
#im seriously lacking energy to draw but i kinda want to finish anything#this month has been ass#ghetsis#pokemon#art#doodle#this is based on the hazbin/helluva boss style btw#im trying to learn it a bit for another piece
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do me a favour, the next time you see a post that basically equates to trans men dont have any issues, or trans mens issues are miniscule in comparison to more important queer people, go to op's blog and count how many posts there are that are positive towards trans men.
#charlie.txt#i saw TWO this morning#one of them is that stupid fkn scale of nice to mean queer people headcanons#cant remember the other#but its like. not hard to spot when ppl are minimising trans men.#theres a certain breed of trans person and i mean any kind of trans person and i do mean trans person specifically#that REALLY cannot deal with trans men being oppressed without adding any qualifiers to that#and its because their brains are small and they lack the ability to see in anything but black and white#and i want to be clear#if you think like this#i dont want you or your rancid fucking energy anywhere near me#in this house we support and love and listen to all trans people of any gender#but you goofy bitches with tme and tma in your bios need to get a grip far away from ne#(all trans people as a class btw. supporting and loving and listening to all trans ppl does not become put up with alex ● 26 ● white ● tme#shitty gender essentialism takes)
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge�� differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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T E M P E S T
#game: ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#middie#ch: desdemona#this is prob one of my fav things i’ve done recently#plus i’m lacking energy to gpose anything new rn
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