#and kind of feat. r&r crew

[wishing-stones]

Nightmare! What is your favorite thing about your guys and your least favorite thing?

(this one is a doozy, so I'm not writing it up to take a screenshot. You get quotation marks)

"Well, there certainly is much to consider, isn't there? Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses, both in character and in combat. It is only natural for a leader to notice the drawbacks and perks of the people he leads.

With all of that in mind... Perhaps I ought to start with the traits and behaviors that I am not as fond of.

I will start with Killer, since he thinks himself so important. He lets his pride get the better of him more often than I would like. He is easy to rile if his sizable ego is injured in any way, and takes far too much far too personally. Pride cometh before the fall, and when he falls, he falls far, hard, and fast.

Dust is unpredictable and has difficulties with his own emotions. He tries to keep himself in a state of neutrality, but it does not take very much for it to boil over in a fit of very dangerous rage. He tries to emulate Killer in that he pretends that nothing he's done bothers him, but he lets that guilt and self-loathing gnaw at him until he breaks down, and all but refuses help up until the point that he does. Stubborn to a fault, if I were to sum it up.

I am very mindful of Axe's condition when considering his shortcomings. That being said, when he is provoked, he gets unnervingly aggressive. He occasionally still has issues with being territorial and resource guarding, although it is more around those he cares about now, and less about food. I suppose that could be seen as a good thing, but it makes it very difficult for negotiations sometimes.

Cross, like Killer, is far too proud. Beyond that, he keeps his issues to himself, even if it is permissible to share them. He torments himself, allows his own past mistakes to haunt him and hurt him, and refuses to let anyone near for fear of being hurt again. It was understandable at first, but as time has worn on, it has become... problematic.

From the time I've spent around doctor Baggs, His own pursuit of science blinds him to his own needs, and the needs of others around him. If someone is looking out for him, it is slightly better. If he is on his own... It becomes a greater issue. He is also an incredibly proud creature, slow to trust and difficult to read, even for me. I hope this aspect will get better with time. It seems to be.

Ren... Is eager. They are perhaps too eager, and while it is understandable, they must also recognize that progress is not achieved overnight. Certainly, they have become an invaluable asset and talented with a sword and shield, but this alone will not be enough to protect them from unfortunate circumstance. They learned that the hard way. From what I can sense, they feel beholden to be as good as any one of my other subordinates insofar as combat and magic is concerned, else they become a burden. It would be beneficial to them if they spoke these concerns aloud rather than trying to tamp them down.

With all of that being said...

Killer is clever and quick, and is my right-hand man for a reason. He's excellent at strategizing, a magnificent team leader, brilliant in the field, and knows when it is time to play and when it is time to be serious. He is also loyal, and once that loyalty is earned, it is earned for good. Aside from that... he is alarmingly intuitive.

So is Dust, for that matter-- he appears to have a sixth sense for if someone else is not perhaps in the best of moods, or too deep in thoughts they ought not to be in. He's an attentive listener, offers fairly sound advice if it is wanted or needed, and offers no judgement if things are told to him in confidence or in moments of weakness. He cares more than perhaps he would like others to think, but that is a good thing. It means that everyone has at least one other person looking out for their well being.

Axe is surprisingly gentle and kind. He is a good listener, good at comfort, and will do all he can to try and remedy whatever might ail an ally. One might think that these are traits that I would frown upon-- on the contrary, it makes for a stronger team dynamic. It means that he can be trusted, and without trust, we are nothing. Despite his condition, he is eerily skilled at remembering the finer details of those around him, doubly so if it involves food.

Cross is loyal and unmoving. His resolve is iron-clad, and he works every day to better himself. He might not trust everyone as much as I think he ought to, but that does not mean he will not go to every length possible to protect them. He is also a very strong team leader, and an incredibly skilled warrior in his own right. He is masterful at making decisions in the thick of a battle.

Baggs is unwilling to tolerate anyone's pettiness or feed into their attempts to get a rise out of him. He shuts down any malicious tomfoolery with an almost enviable amount of skill. He is not, however, unkind. Despite some of the disagreements he has stepped in to stop, or any hostility shown towards him, he is a patient doctor who leaves all of that at the door to his lab. He treats all with the professional air and carefulness I hand-selected him for. He is good for the team. It is refreshing to have stern backup.

Ren is astonishingly skilled, and surprises me more every day. They have learned quickly and trained quickly. Their dedication is inspiring, and it makes me immeasurably proud that they have shown such loyalty and willingness to become more than they were for the sake of the team and I. They will be very dangerous indeed once they have a finer grasp on their skill and strategy.

I imagine that the rest of my team has their own opinions on what they like and dislike about one another, but so long as we recognize these faults and exalt these strengths, we may continue to grow better as a collective. Unity is necessary when so much is at stake. Even when the pressing conflict is over, we must continue to work tirelessly at becoming the best that we can be."

[rainsmediaradio]

Chocolate City - Cypher Lyrics feat Blaqbonez, A-Q, Loose Kaynon, Ice Prince, Jesse Jagz, MI Abaga

Today in the history of music, the most dominating pure Hip-Hop record label in Nigeria and Africa, Chocolate City, popularly called Choc City by fans celebrated its golden jubilee by doing what they know how to do best. In a single titled Chocolate City - City Cypher Lyrics we see all the rap gods of Chocolate City, Blaqbonez, A-Q, Loose Kaynon, Ice Prince, Jesse Jagz, and MI Abaga rise to the mic, dropping bars on bars and leaving fans with nothing but a scream of wow! Take it or leave it, rap is not dead Hip-Hop is alive!

Chocolate City Chairman, staff and the amazing rappers.

Chocolate City - Cypher Lyrics feat Blaqbonez, A-Q, Loose Kaynon, Ice Prince, Jesse Jagz, MI Abaga

Chocolate City - Cypher Lyrics feat Blaqbonez, A-Q, Loose Kaynon, Ice Prince, Jesse Jagz, MI Abaga Chocolate City - Cypher Lyrics Chocolate City - Cypher Lyrics : Blaqbonez yeah yeah riding for my door from a start this basic principal rest of y'all pitiful Hush Puppy I'm interpol talking to you Twitter trolls I'm not trying to be condescending my I'm just speaking from the Pinnacle every second is billable a ship is Unsinkable 2023 whip the evidence is clear but yours is inadmissible I'm a 6ft skinny boy I'm and ... can get physical better than black that's fictional who lied to you that's kind of typical of yes man's delusional me and stupid not mixable all my niggas got something upstairs another Bungalow every single move is another play for the envelope never settle for less I'm not trying to stay afloat I'm really trying to buy a boat Jeff Bezos in 6 months that's a slender hope if you're not feeling me that you take away your right to vote the disrespect man it's forgivable Jesus said turn your left cheek y know it's biblical that's what I told your girl last week when we was frictional I don't do back and forth with no chick unless Arena though I could lose every point but you know I'm going serve the charm is irresistible couple bags no fundable and make a must shine not tribalistic it's traditional social engineering got me feeling like I'm back in school Mr Gbadebo look at me I'm unapproachable I this rapper for like 5 years don't get no ideas go conversation I will be there that's what you guys fear y'all niggas want hits It's really go to a Miss I'm way to versatile quietly making hella moves they gave me an in universe that's hella rude my only celebrity crush is Mega good I'm kidding there's a ton of beauts, ton of bad bitches sh bad niggas A-Q Hip hop is 50 that's golden I'm still here it's Gods engineering I got two here three coming Rose from the concrete in September I shed a few tears I've been blessed forever before I grew beards they too scared back in C City I was the bag boy for a few years now this City Boys is at the helm of affairs it's a new year running hip up fuck your rap link I'm on some soft thighs she's nasty, nastier than Nasty C's top five I see the greatest is debated if it's not I, what a surprise I'm someway on the beach watching the sunrise tell me what's the upside when publishing is sinking us diamond in the rough but sharp enough to get your princess cut study my prophecies, my lyrics are now my doctrines young soldier of the Lord, the YSL is on my stock jeans truly humble under God this young thug is going to judge him turn the Gunna in your crew to a gunner like the sports team shots ring, hands all over you like a touch screen from dust you came from dust back to the dust bin you rappers are disgusting tell me something more compelling than walking up to me hands open like Jude Bellingham don't let them gas you I'm Noble but I'm unstable out of my elements still shaking up periodic tables created the system you're just files in the folder and when I feel like folding I hold my composure that's pep talk Lexus came with police escorts standing on business if it's business homey let's talk anything else don't get a response I just press pause why the fuck am I here I got meetings with investors I'm ghost Loose Kaynon look red s like Bigfoot here's another one stand cool like an island so I don't bother none do business by the cold I treat my niggas like my mother son they want to get the team back together go on another run now I'm living different a babysit in the whip an accountant on the team he's babysit in the splits you can catch me on the beach chair lazy sip in the sprits but don't boost me the call I'm crazy spitting this shit so here goes you bunch of weirdos look the part Bo you some scarecrow cosplaying a giant this niggas wear stos I don't do verbals just pay attention homie There's levels I stay behind the scene pulling the strings I'm shapedo you rocking shit in the same spot but you got motion I laugh it off cuz I know better Yeah you need promotion you ain't fooling nobody plus you ain't pulling no bodies All that killing niggas in your verse we ain't see no bodies Every day I leave my enemies pipe dream i bet Your favorite rapper sell his soul so just to switch places I'm still spitting pen flooded with ring my pockets favors pounds over naira Is a bit racist so what we have here A bunch of wannabe;s I the Rolly on my re so you want one of these don't you jump out the window Wony you I know my smile provoke you go ahead now stop on Faking I take them shots why don't you My OG told me you ain't easy to like so they pretend to be your friend Cuz you ain't easy to fight it's all right see heavy is the head and my neck hurts You focus on the best first I'm trying to flip my network aiming higher than messages P then to man built like me rarer than Le is ours It's lyrical genius how pressure this vows turn them to Diamonds Yeah you welcome the pleasure is ours Ice Prince Ah when I first test the mic I was in jss1 mind me records from Heavy D and krs1 Doctors call me a rapper from the day I was born I came Mo my mama wom talking like j electron I mean cold blood with a mean face had this rappers ate like a girl with a thin waist Swimming with the shars don't know how to sedem taste me I grew up in the city where you know the machines blaz cock you with it niggas your back I ain't stopping it when I caught the trigger I'm on my Fire and Ice they call me Godzilla I do all my albums with no fucking fillers I just tell the truth Nothing made up no concealers so tell them that we back in the booth when CHOC boys commute You know the beat is in soup i mean I got to keep props to choc City since 2007 the family stuck with me Jesse Jagz no need to introduce myself First I choose myself then I used myself two decades ago I reproduced myself choc city was the keys but I produced myself hip hop is the build and I am the foundations Communications caught off online around stations choc boys fully prepared the crown station Jesus has returned Skies open the ground shaking I levitate on ink niggas think I'm a ghost Stay a mile from the shore we let them swim for the boat Now this is a toast to the king of the coast now niggas fuck the script we never sing to the notes Big up truck city IC niggas that's where the science be extraordinary leader a legend in my Society Finally my niggas is pumped fuck sobriety looking for something higher see something that will inspire me Blessing to the nation the patience the dedication all my people is here for celebration I show you the beginning and end the Revelation these are the 48 Laws to preparation Oh my niggas we bought the Federation the lyricism will inform a generation 20 something years in the game that shit ain't new to me I walk through the game with that diplomatic Community MI Abaga rest in peace mohbad welcome back all ours back all ours i squat for road like make i do the shit for the streets reported live and correct for be like white journalist i be the highest night you know how high dollar is pound for p still the mj 100% check the roots of this shit i'm the kunta kente check the genesis i'm adam i'm the block i'm the new dekembe root flow i spit some rudimentary i spit that shit that hit you hard and get you to comprende i seen it all ain't nothing new to sensei the hip hop superintending eventually transcended to a god a lot of done it really well but ain't no niggas been this hard lyric ma grande like maryland and odumodu men dey you too weak for this walk you be like 10 days my spirit pure getting better i'm mature like some whiskey in a glen case wo and this is how it sounds when you the template when god gave me this flow he said forget about the return date nowadays i'm working so jtown can reach miami and taraba reach gidali we go get that gradu that's on god's name i know i wear ghost but i'm into technic niggas camp there and show dem i'm doing large things yep things i never even post you say seeing is believing you you dey see the holy ghost the hater is negligable to see through hip-hop music is the voice of got to lead the people many evil sons of achan are hating and they follow shatan go check in joshua chapter 7 i'm acting brand new might time to mavin but ch c ins still the haven 20 years later and it's like he did something amazing this for jeremiah gang who laid the paving for jimmy jags ice bal price noah for dice milly ck lamber ruby vicky koka for young john black bonez dj k street billy and candy bleaks ruby loose critical classic major asia aniq and this for everybody rapping i pray you all be topping and shots with the tracks you dro and popping like you sh poppy and any rapper chopping come to the hip hop event we got you we believe you die we know they doubt you we sef dey plug artist to we did share palliative over here and the vibe is so native over here everybody is a king making loot how the six best rappers from the same fucking crew what you niggas going to do my nigga this a legacy this was all built on rap let's not forget to say hip hop we thank you for being a foundation from chocolate city to all of our fans you are amazing thank you yo so abi chi made the call he know we don't want to do ciphers no more but we had to do this one for history 50 years of hip-hop 20 years of chocolate city the indomitable indestructible force we love you to our fans we love you to our haters Read more about Chocolate City on Wikipedia Read the full article

[cyarskaren52]

Slick Rick is still The Ruler. 

The rapper once known as "MC Ricky D" has built a legacy on 35 years of lyricism, style and artistry. Yes, he's arguably rap's greatest storyteller; a style icon and dropped one of the greatest debut albums in the history of debut albums. But when one considers how much of his career was put on hold, when one considers just how immaculate his flow remained even as his style evolved and times changed; Rick's run is truly remarkable. 

He burst out the gate with the uber-classic Great Adventures Of Slick Rick, an album that boasted at least four bonafide all-time great songs, and a platinum-seller that cemented him as a star on Def Jam. His life would take a dramatic turn soon afterwards, and Rick found himself headed to prison in 1991, the same year he dropped The Ruler's Back. That album was followed by 1994s Behind Bars, completed on work furlough. Rick would see release in late 1996, and he dropped his fourth album, The Art Of Storytelling in early 1999. It was Rick's first album since his debut not recorded under duress, and critics hailed it as his creative and commercial comeback. 

So that's the short version of Slick Rick's story. We decided to rank our favorite 25 cuts from the legendary MC Ricky D. 

#26

"I LIKE" - MONTELL JORDAN FEAT. SLICK RICK [BONUS SONG]

Our BONUS SONG pick is a celebrated classic guest spot! The R&B star and The Ruler team up on this hit from the "Nutty Professor" soundtrack. 

#25

"CAN'T SHAKE US" FEAT. SPECIAL K

With this rare mixtape track from 2002, Rick teams up with former Treacherous Three legend Special K to kick bars over a sparse beat. 

#24

"WHY, WHY, WHY"

Slick Rick has always had a knack for off-color songs about relationships; and this laid-back groover is Rick once again chastising a woman for her wandering eye--and admitting his own infidelity. 

#23

"A LOVE THAT'S TRUE, PT. 1"

Speaking of that whole "chastising..." thing. With a beat that echoes his production on "Hey Young World" years earlier, Rick once again dogs out a trifling woman...or two...or three. 

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#22

"CAN'T DANCE TO A TRACK THAT AIN'T GOT NO SOUL"

Slick Rick dropped two singles in 2019 that let the world know the Ruler was still the Ruler. One was this kinetic P-Funk sampling track that was produced by the man himself. 

#21

"TREAT HER LIKE A PROSTITUTE"

Not a song that fits neatly into 2022 sensibilities, but it was Slick Rick's first solo single after his days as MC Ricky D. He debuted the track as a solo star in 1988s "Tougher Than Leather" movie. 

#20

"IMPRESS THE KID"

Produced by S&S, this track originally appeared on the "Rush Hour" soundtrack, as Rick gets wreck over a bass-heavy groove that sounds so perfectly late 90s you should have to rock a FUBU jersey to listen to it. 

#19

"MIDAS TOUCH"

After some years focused more on performing and brand partnerships, Ricky D returned! And he did so in impressive fashion, showcasing his rapid-fire flow on this groovy single, released alongside "Can't Dance To A Track..."

#18

"RUNAWAY"

On what sounds like a spiritual successor to "Mona Lisa," Slick Rick's knack for hooks is kind of an underrated skill in his arsenal. That beat is so chill. 

#17

"LICK THE BALLS"

The vulgarity of the hook might make it seem like 2 Live Crew-like raunch here; but no--this is just a good, old fashioned lyrical showcase. Rick blacks out here. 

#16

"UNIFY/BE ALRIGHT/LOUD AND CLEAR" - KID CAPRI W/SLICK RICK, MR. CHEEKS, JERMAINE DUPRI, CAM'RON

The album cut features a killer Snoop guest spot; the video version is a medley of tracks tied together by Kid Capri. As usual, Rick does his thing. 

#15

"FROZEN" FEAT. RAEKWON

"Even this so-so beat, I make MONSTROUS." If you need a class on lyricism, this song should be on the syllabus. You've got two of the illest of all time, spitting on a track from "The Art Of Storytelling."

#14

"SITTIN' IN MY CAR" (REMIX)

Jermaine Dupri swooped in to remix this single from Rick's 1994 album "Behind Bars." The video would be one of Rick's most popular during his prison stint in the mid-1990s. 

#13

"WHO ROTTEN 'EM"

Nod's beat gives Slick Rick chance to flex his parodic British accent again. 

#12

"THE RULER'S BACK"

With production credited to the late, great Jam-Master Jay, Rick opened his debut album with an anthem that's as good as any of his hit singles. Jay-Z would famously interpolate the track in 2001. 

#11

"IT'S A BOY" (REMIX)

Large Professor worked his magic on this track that originally appeared on 1991s "The Ruler Is Back," but found new life as a banger on 1994s "Behind Bars."

#10

"I RUN THIS"

On "Da Art of Storytelling," Slick Rick returned at the top of his game and one of the best lyrical showcases he ever put to wax is this hotter-than-hell showcase of his skills. Produced by none other than Rev. Run.

#9

"MISTAKES OF A WOMAN IN LOVE WITH OTHER MEN"

No one should need any convincing that Slick Rick is one of the greatest storytellers ever; and this is one of his most poignant looks at dysfunctional relationships. 

#8

"THE MOMENT I FEARED"

A song that suddenly became infamous after his 1990 arrest, Rick documents a tailspin of fictional events that would eventually land him in jail. 

#7

"STREET TALKIN'" FEAT. OUTKAST

Big Boi has always sounded like a spiritual successor to MC Ricky D, and their chemistry is potent on this classic Jazze Pha-produced single from 1999s "The Art Of Storytelling"

#6

"TEENAGE LOVE"

One of Rick's most iconic songs and one of the Bomb Squad's most R&B-friendly production. It's Rick recounting the trials of being young and thinking you're "in love."

#5

"BEHIND BARS" (DUM DITTY DUM REMIX) FEAT. WARREN G

Warren G brought his uniquely G-Funk styled production to Rick's harrowing-and-hilarious tale of life while incarcerated. This is a master clinic on storytelling. 

#4

"MONA LISA"

It's hard to believe one of Slick Rick's most beloved tracks was never even a single; Rick's tale about meeting a shorty at a pizza parlor would become surprisingly influential. 

#3

"I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT"

One of Rick's greatest gifts is his knack for taking a story that sounds lighthearted and taking a sharp turn into a dark place. This is one of his best. 

#2

"HEY YOUNG WORLD"

Rick produced this impeccable classic himself, a topical look at society that also encourages youth to make good decisions. There are a handful of songs that truly deserve being called "perfect" and this is one. 

#1

"CHILDREN'S STORY" 

If you documented the greatest rap tracks of all time, this uber-classic would most definitely on the short list. Rick tells a story that's darker than you think; about a triggerhappy teen who goes on a crime spree with tragic results. You know every word. Everybody does.

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[tillidontneedfantasy]

A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 9th Studio Album: ‘evermore’

“My collaborators and I are proud to announce that my 9th studio album and folklore’s sister record is here. It’s called evermore,” is how Taylor Swift introduces us to this album in its foreword. One might assume a “sister record” would entail b-sides, or tracks that didn’t quite make the cut for folklore, despite Taylor’s explanation that “we just couldn’t stop writing songs.” evermore’s release came at a strange time, upon the heels of the Folklore: Long Pond Studio Sessions film on Disney+, as well as 5 Grammy nominations for folklore. The world still captivated by folklore, it’s understandable why one might not consume evermore as critically. Even as a die-hard fan, I felt some whiplash by this announcement; I am still processing folklore! Hell, I’m still processing reputation!

If this was the Taylor from two years ago, this may have been a big enough fear of hers to hold off on releasing evermore. But as she explained upon folklore’s surprise release, life is too unpredictable now, and there are zero givens or guarantees. So she followed the same path this time (although making sure it fell in line with her birthday weekend). But it’s not just the strategic timing of the release that she’s thrown out the window for now, but also her mindset whilst making records. As she explains in the evermore album foreword,

“I’ve never done this before. In the past I’ve always treated albums as one-off eras and moved onto planning the next one as soon as an album was released. There was something different with folklore. In making it, I felt less like I was departing and more like I was returning. I loved the escapism I found in these imaginary/not imaginary tales. I loved the ways you welcomed the dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found. So I just kept writing them.”

This is a revelation for Swift, to let the music lead her into artistic freedom, which is what makes evermore such a triumphant return. Truly folklore’s sister record, Taylor wrote evermore with the same creative team: Aaron Dessner of The National (Swift’s favorite band), long-time pal and collaborator Jack Antonoff, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, and William Bowery aka Swift’s boyfriend, Joe Alwyn (as officially revealed in the Long Pond Studio Sessions). Additionally, former 1989 tour openers and close friends of Taylor, the HAIM sisters, join the crew, along with Marcus Mumford for some dreamy backup vocals.

The production is just as wistful and mesmerizing as it was on folklore, yet the storytelling on evermore is kicked up a notch, expanding on the topics and worldbuilding established in its sister record, with even sharper lyrics and an effective and elaborate use of alliteration. The best thing about Taylor is that no matter what she does, her masterful lyricism is always at the heart of her art, and somehow, she keeps getting better. Once again, I wanted to explore the rich stories she’s crafted in this woodsy universe. This is how I’ve interpreted the album, but I hope you find your own meaning in the songs as well.

1. willow It is fitting that the opening track to folklore’s sister album, where we wade further into the forest that is Taylor Swift’s imagination and storytelling, would center on the type of tree that is a symbol of hope, belonging, safety, stability, and healing. “willow,” one of the few more obviously autobiographical tracks on the album, is a hymn of gratitude for her man (as she wants you to know, yes, thirteen times), Joe Alwyn, and how the invisible string tethering them together pulled her to him in a time when everyone else was counting her out. Though not as present on many of the other songs later to come on this record, you can feel the lightness in her heart on this song as she embraces the way in which the willow has bent, wrecking her plans, throwing her into the water and leaving her happily lost and afloat in his current. The downward key modulation throughout the last two repetitions of the chorus is beautiful and very fitting for Swift vocally, but also sounds like the feeling of finding your comfort and settling into it, basking it in while you wait for the next place the wind pulls you. Best lyric: “Now this is an open/shut case / I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face / Every bait and switch was a work of art.”

2. champagne problems On the second track of the album, Taylor dives back into the fictional worldbuilding she began to explore on folklore. While on folklore high school relationships and dramatics took center-stage, evermore graduates from adolescence to young adulthood, not that it is any easier emotionally on the listener’s heart. “champagne problems” chronicles a rejected marriage proposal between two college sweethearts at their old dorm building. Taylor sings as the narrator, a reflective, self-deprecating young woman who jokes about belonging in a madhouse and dismisses all her turmoil as champagne problems. The term ‘champagne problems’ itself could have various meanings here: their trivial concerns, the fact that their “sister splashed out on the bottle” of champagne that they will not be using to celebrate as they had hoped, or perhaps it could even hint that excessive drinking is a piece of all the ways the narrator is “fucked in the head,” as they said. Although the person she is singing to is the one who got hurt in the story, the hurt in the narrator’s heart is just as palpable and relatable, because you only have yourself to blame when you self-destruct. Best lyric: “’She would’ve made such a lovely bride, / what a shame she’s fucked in the head,’ they said / but you’ll find the real thing instead / she’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.”

3. gold rush On her YouTube live chat prior to the album’s release, Taylor explained that this song “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.” The daydream consists of a love story so pure that the town had never seen such a thing; it could only happen in a fantasy for the narrator. How could she possibly have the gall to call them out on their contrarian shit, or end up with her Eagles t-shirt hanging from their door, when they are so coveted by all, and when she cannot withstand the thought of even competing? She sings, “My mind turns your life into folklore / I can’t dare to dream about you anymore,” a sweet little connecting piece to this album’s older sister, effectively convincing herself out of the idea of jumping into the chaos of the gold rush because even inside her own imagination it’s too dangerous. Best lyric: “I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush.”

4. ‘tis the damn season According to Aaron Dessner, Taylor had written the lyrics for “’tis the damn season” in the middle of the night amidst their Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions recording after a long night of chatting and drinking with their co-conspirator, Jack Antonoff. The lyrics perfectly encapsulate the guttural ache the track evokes. It is a tale of two people who always find their way back to one another in their hometown, which acts as the ever-returning fork in the road. The path taken, back to L.A. in pursuit of her dreams, is the one she chose and continues to choose, but whenever she returns home, she takes a ride down the road not taken, just to get a taste of what could have been, even if just for the weekend. What starts off as an icy homecoming always transforms into the warmest intimacy. The success of this track is aligned with the success of Taylor’s entire career; even with such specific details, it feels so deeply personal to the listener. You know the street you’d drive along late at night laughing, the spot you’d park the car, the person who stars in every what-if. You will never really know if the road not taken is as good as it seems, but that might be ok; sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality, anyway. Best lyric: “It’s the kind of cold / fogs up windshield glass, but I felt it when I passed you / There’s an ache in you / put there by the ache in me.”

5. tolerate it Inspired by the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, “tolerate it” is an agonizing track from the perspective of a devoted wife who polishes plates and paints portraits and waits by the door for her husband with a battle hero’s welcome, who at best tolerates all her adoration. There are few things as painful as idolization being met with indifference, when you have all this love to give to someone who just leaves it there untouched. “tolerate it” captures that desperation for the approval you know will never arrive, but you sit and watch, waiting for it just in case you’re wrong, but you know you’re not. Best lyric: “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life / drawing hearts in the byline”

6. no body, no crime feat. HAIM “no body, no crime,” the one evermore song solo-written by Taylor, has the clearest plot from beginning to end. In the same vein as the female powerhouse country classic “Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks, Taylor is out for blood to avenge her friend, Este (named for one of the HAIM sisters). The story goes as such: Este’s husband kills her for calling him out on his infidelity, and then Taylor kills the husband and frames his mistress. The HAIM girls, who are long-time friends of Taylor’s and former touring mates, lend their vocals to reinforce the accusation on the husband and to provide Taylor’s alibi. “no body, no crime” is so far the closest we’ve gotten to a return to “country Taylor,” proving that she is still the master of a killer country tune (yes, pun intended, it had to be done I’m sorry). Best lyric: “Good thing Este’s sister’s gonna swear she was with me / (she was with me, dude) / Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy”

7. happiness Written a week before the album’s release, “happiness” is one of Swift’s strongest and most reflective breakup songs. Although she writes it as though it is recent, there’s a lot of power in knowing that she’s been happily in love for four years, and that she is even better now at doing the thing that has always been best at. She is finally “above the trees,” as she sings, and is able to see it all for what it is, but her character is still in the heat of it all, trying to navigate the stages of grief when a relationship ends. We see the narrator grapple with many of those stages throughout the song. Most striking is the anger displayed in the second verse when she sings: “I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you / No, I didn’t mean that, / sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury.” That section is jarring and feels like one of the most honest moments in a Taylor song, the insanely difficult emotional balancing act when we are grieving a relationship. The devastation of loss can distort our perception, and a part of that is the difficulty of understanding how multiple seemingly opposing things can co-exist in our hearts, such as happiness because of someone and happiness after them. But when you leave it all behind and finally find your place above the trees, you can find happiness after someone and also look back and appreciate the happiness they once provided. Both of these things can be true. Best lyric: “Showed you all of my hiding spots / I was dancing when the music stopped.”

8. dorothea Taylor Swift has the uncanny ability to create such developed and well-rounded characters with such little information, which is what makes her storytelling so compelling. In “dorothea,” we learn much about the title character through the narrator’s eyes, and the relationship they once had. The lyric “skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes” alone tells an entire story in itself. “dorothea” is also the companion song to “’tis the damn season,” just from the other person’s perspective, which helps shine even more light on the story. The narrator of “dorothea” reveres her but wonders if she’s still the same soul in L.A. as she was back in their never-changing town. Whatever the answer, they’re still willing to support her no matter where she is, but she’s always welcome back in Tupelo by her hometown love’s side if she ever just wants to be herself rather than someone known for who they know. Besides, they’re the only soul who can tell which smiles she’s faking. And you can always return to the road not taken. Best lyric: “They all wanna be ya / but are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? / Well, I guess I’ll never know / and you’ll go on with the show.”

9. coney island feat. The National What really started the folklore / evermore journey was Taylor’s love for The National. Taylor has cited them as one of her favorite bands for many years, and as we know, this led to her beautiful new collaborative relationship with Aaron Dessner. So it would make sense for the track written with the intention of this duet to be so well executed; you can feel the love and care Taylor put into writing this song. In her press for these sister albums, she has spoken about trying to channel frontman Matt Berninger’s writing style. But what actually happened was she just produced her own signature lyricism at its sharpest. “We were like the mall before the internet, it was the one place to be / the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams / sorry for not winning you an arcade ring over and over,” is a hall of famer Swift-ian lyric. “coney island” explores the confusion, hurt, and self-reflection when a passionate affair burns out fast because you did not prioritize that person. And to top it off, Swift and Berninger’s harmonies are achingly beautiful, transporting you right there in the story, on the bench, wondering, over and over. Best lyric: “Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? / Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

10. ivy Leave it to Taylor Swift to make a song about an affair sound so romantic, and so sympathetic to the narrator, that you’re rooting for adultery. “ivy” tells the tale of a woman in a lifeless marriage, likening her home with him to the tombstone that the widow in town visits each day. I like to think this is the same wife whose husband was out there building other worlds without her in “tolerate it,” because then that means she found someone who celebrates her love, who holds her pain for her, who blooms all over her; they started it, but she’s fighting for it all the way to the end, nonetheless. “ivy” showcases Swift’s gorgeous vocals and her sharp lyrics, with a melody so infectious it is bound to permanently plant its roots in your dreamland. Best lyric: “Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland / my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”

11. cowboy like me With the beautifully blended backing vocals of Marcus Mumford, “cowboy like me” is an entrancing love story of two con artists who lost at their own game and got conned into forever with each other. She’d gone from swindling old men for their money and fancy cars to falling victim to the danger of dancing with someone who only has eyes full of stars, and she knows she’ll pay for it. “cowboy like me” is one of the most romantic tracks on the record, proving that life never plays out quite as we plan. Best lyric: “Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon / with your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con.”

12. long story short One of the more pop-sounding tracks on evermore, “long story short” is pretty much a summary of the long story behind reputation (2017). The song is filled with various metaphors for her reputation crumbling around her, and then finally putting her defenses down to be with her lover, someone as “rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky.” It is a sweet ode to her boyfriend, and a gentle comfort to her past self that it will all work out. But it is also an oddly relatable example of how we shrug off our struggles and minimize them to just a “bad time,” when the time she is singing about was obviously something that deeply affected her (as will be further explored in the title track); but sometimes it actually feels good to just shrug it off as just a blip in your life, because at the end of the day, you survived, and that’s what counts- even if you’re not keeping score anymore. Best lyric: “Pushed from the precipice / clung to the nearest lips / long story short, it was the wrong guy. / Now I’m all about you.”

13. marjorie Whereas track 13 on folklore was a tribute to Swift’s paternal grandfather, evermore’s track 13 is a tribute to her maternal grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who was an opera singer in the 50s, and passed away in 2003 when Taylor was 13 years old. “marjorie” is quite possibly the most touching track Taylor has ever written thus far in her career. Grief is one of the most difficult topics to tackle in a song; the genius of “marjorie” is that it is simple, yet not understated. Swift reflects on the profound lessons she learned from her grandmother, about the difficult balances of kindness and cleverness, and politeness and power. She curses herself for not cherishing the moments she had with her, for complaining rather than understanding in the moment how admirable her spirit was, for all the amber skies she’d love but will never see. The chorus, blunt and hard-hitting, reminds us that someone does not have to be living to be alive, to be all around, to be with us. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing to me now,” Taylor sings towards the end of the song, right before you hear a sample of Finlay’s opera singing in the background, a truly eye-swelling moment. It is clear that Finlay played a pivotal role in Swift’s own ambitions, as she sings, “all your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me.” Marjorie knew she was leaving them in good hands. If you haven’t yet, check out the moving lyric video for the song, where you can see photos and video clips of Marjorie, both throughout her career and in her time with Taylor. Best lyric: “Never be so polite you forget your power, / never wield such power you forget to be polite.”

14. closure On the most experimental track musically on the record, Taylor writes off her need for closure from a relationship of some sort, whether it be romantic or platonic or business, all of which can cause hurt of equal intensity. The subject of the song is trying to make nice with Taylor, and she is just not having it, as it is not coming from a genuine place, but rather to ensure that their life remains picture perfect, or to clear their guilty conscience, or to preserve their own ego. This is a deeply relatable sentiment; as valuable as forgiveness can be, sometimes the person who hurt you just doesn’t deserve it, and all you can do is forgive yourself for blocking their number or shredding their letters. Best lyric: “I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life / staying friends would iron it out so nice.”

15. evermore feat. Bon Iver To close out the standard edition of the album, Taylor joins forces once again with Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, with whom she collaborated on the Grammy-nominated duet, “exile” for folklore. However, Swift leads most of the track this time, lamenting the difficult time she went through in 2016. The piano and Swift’s vocals are haunting, particularly when she describes this time in her life as “catching my death,” consumed by a pain that she feels will never end. If you’ve ever been depressed, you know what that feels like, and the dark places it leads you. Although she is singing about a time four years prior, it sounds so present, and it is heartbreaking to hear her in such a state. When Bon Iver comes in, the tempo of the song picks up, the piano riff becomes more erratic, like a winter storm hitting you in the face, and he voices all the anxieties of the cost of such a downfall. But through those anxieties, Taylor finds not a cure, but an anchor in love, and then the tempo slows back down. By the end of the song, Taylor has the foresight to understand that although it may not feel like it now, the pain she is experiencing is not permanent (a sentiment my therapist has been trying to instill in me for years). In her Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, Taylor explained how the lyrics parallel the times we are in currently, and so it feels really special to have the album end with someone who knows how it feels to be imprisoned by your pain gently comfort us with the wisdom that “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.” I hope one day soon, as we leave 2020 far behind, we can all truly believe her. Best lyric: “I was catching my breath / barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death.”

16. right where you left me (bonus track) The first bonus track on evermore, “right where you left me,” captures a moment so earth-crushing, a piece of you is trapped in it forever. In this song specifically, the narrator finds herself stuck in the same corner of a restaurant where she was told by someone she loved that they had met someone else. “Glass shattered on the white cloth, everybody moved on,” she sings in mourning. We have all experienced those moments that we could teleport back to if we just closed our eyes; the scenery, what you wore, the smell and taste of the season, the very point in your body where it felt like your insides were collapsing. Or that one particular person, who is long-gone from your life but seeing them is like time-travelling back to that person you once were, ready to pick up where you left off. But as much as you want to stay in that moment forever, just in case it changes in your favor, the cold reality is that the world stops for no one. Best lyric: “If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me.”

17. it’s time to go (bonus track) “right where you left me” was Taylor’s cry for help to get out of restaurant, and “it’s time to go” is the answer to the call, as she sings in the first line, “when the dinner gets cold, and the chatter gets old / you ask for the tab.” This song is about gathering the strength to leave situations and relationships behind that no longer serve you. She grieves the betrayal of someone she thought to be a twin from her dreams (almost definitely referring to former friend, Karlie Kloss), acknowledges that keeping a marriage together for the sake of the kids often actually has the opposite intended effect (possibly- but not certainly- something she and her brother experienced), and recounts attempting to bargain with someone consumed by greed, only able to leave with herself (absolutely referring to the end of her fifteen-year long business relationship with Scott Borchetta, her former record-label owner). But as painful as leaving all of those situations was, Taylor has gained the wisdom to understand that walking away sometimes takes as much strength as persevering. You can’t stay at the restaurant, or at the mercy of someone else forever; you have to forge your own path, even if it’s in the opposite direction of what you envisioned for so long. And even with all her past success behind her, as folklore and evermore have proved, there is so much more ahead of her. Best lyric: “That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it’s time to go.”

In a time where we are all trapped in our homes and in our heads, the folklore/evermore experience has been the sweetest escape. If anything, the creation of these wonderful sister records has taught me that our most powerful tool in times of distress is our own imagination. Even just the ability to close my eyes while listening to one of these tracks and feel the character’s story is a gift. The way I’ve always been able to pick up Harry Potter and escape to Hogwarts when I’ve felt alone and friendless, I can listen to folklore and evermore when I feel scared or hopeless and escape into this enchanted forest Taylor has built, where I can climb above the trees and see it all for what it is. I feel so lucky to watch Taylor’s imaginative world unravel around me. I can’t wait to see what she creates next.

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I would literally die for this bitch.  

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Man’s Best Friend.”

Try not to bee too mad at me guys :) Sorry about the angst. 

It is a more than well known anomaly that humans will social bond with any species. This is not barring their danger levels, or factors of perceived cuteness; no matter the cost, humans will pack bond with any animal. They have even been known to bond with inanimate objects and houseplants. However, one of the greatest bonds man has ever created, is their bond with dogs. Thousands of years ago a man shared his food and his fire with a wolf: another social pack species. After years and years of careful breeding selection manipulated by humans, they ‘created’ an animal that protects loyally, forgives quickly, and loves unconditionally.

In my study of humans, I have found that the emotional bond with a dog can run deeper than an emotional bond with humans.  I am not entirely sure why a human would find it more displeasing to watch a movie where a dog dies than to watch a movie where a human dies, but I have some suspicion that it has to do with the innocence and unconditional friendship that dog has given man, a quality that man has never given himself.

***

Waffles: a 75lb 34kilo german shepherd shoved her head into an alien bush nose working furiously as she pawed through the strange purple plant. She came back up a moment later and sneezed violently sending up a cloud of delicate yellow polin.

Admiral Vir laughed and whistled, and turning on her heel she bounded back to him over open ground her ears straight up, her tail wagging furiously. She ran up to him and touched her nose to his hand as if tagging base before bounding off again to sniff the path before them.

Krill and Sunny walked with him, Krill staring at the brightly colored alien landscape with buzzing antenna.

Waffles leaped through another patch of wild blue grass sending up more white spores into the air, stopping only to sneeze again before continuing.

Sunny went up to walk beside the Admiral, “She looks happy.”

Adam nodded, “Yeah, I like bringing her down on occasion to get some fresh air. I know she does pretty well on the ship, but I feel bad keeping her cooped up so much.”

With another bound Waffles plowed through a shallow stream sending up droplets of water.

This planet was one the GA had been studying for some time, and, as it seemed, it was a relatively nice, habitable planet that they were readying for colonization for the Finnari, or perhaps, humans, or even both permitting everything went well.

Krill watched the dog as she plowed through the grass, rolling in the  weeds like she was having the time of her life.

Predators used to scare him, but the dog had proven herself to be docile at the Admiral’s command, and he could at least tolerate her if not like her…. Just a little.

Adam Grinned at his dog’s antics and charged into the grass after her.

The dog dropped her front paws, but and tail sticking up in the air, a nonverbal invitation for her master to play with her. He didn’t reject her offer and raced forward to play chasing her around the field, their legs swishing over the grass. She barked happily as they did.

Adam had now ran far ahead of the others towards another nearby forest path. Waffles was behind him just a little ways as he pulled to a halt panting.

It was then that he heard it, a sudden rustling of foliage turning into a swirling thunder of air.

He turned on the spot eyes wide in shock and surprise.

Surprise at the ravening beast charging directly towards him, its purple fur and white tusks glittering in the sun. he leapt out of the way, but the beast was quick, about waist height and angry. He was so startled he couldn't even scream his only reaction to try to kick at the creature and keep it back.

It squared off against him, and he tried backing away, but it charged again.

There was a sudden snarling noise, and waffles charged into the fight snarling and snapping.

She bit the creature hard on it’s back leg.

“WAFFLES!” Adam shouted 

The creature turned violently and whipped it’s tusks at waffles, who didn’t heed them as she charged in again, snapping at its face and throat forcing herself between Adam and his attacker.

It thrashed and she yelped in pain, but charged forward again, grabbing it by the leg and holding on for dear life as  it trampled into the bush dragging her along with it.

Another yelp came from the forest, high pitched and painful.

“WAFFLES!” It didn’t take a moment before Adam was chagrin into the bush after them pulling his sidearm as he did. He followed the sound just in time to see the creature whip it’s head around and catch waffles hard in the side picking her up and tossing her to the ground. Blood drenched her fur, while green icor drenched her muzzle.

He screamed in anger instead of fear this time as he leveled his sidearm and emptied his magazine at the creature. He wasn’t sure how many hit, but the creature was tough enough that it staggered off itne bush yowling. He ignored it for the time and ran, throwing himself to his knees at the side of waffles, who was lying on the ground breathing shallowly.

Sunny roared into the clearing just behind them, her spear raised, but the creature was already gone.

Adam reached out his hands which were trembling so badly he could barely function, “Waffles, waffles no no no no.”

He rested a hand on her side and she whimpered in pain, her muzzle resting on the ground her eyes half hooded.

A choked sob broke from his throat, “No. no…. You’re g-gonna be o-ok.” 

His hands fluttered uselessly over her body, covered in blood.

“KRILL! PLEASE Someone… h-help.”

Sunny stood back in shock and fear as Adam clawed at his hair, tears rolling down his face in uncontrolled streams.

Krill scuttled in not far after.

Adam turned to look at him his face twisted into a snarl, “Help her!” His voice cracked on demand and he turned back hands still shaking not knowing what to do. Being a doctor krill was well aware that the human’s anger was displaced and did not take it personally as he moved forward and took a look at the injured animal.

He lifted her front paw, and she whimpered piteously.

Off to the side Adam was still inconsolable, his hands in his hair threatening to rip out fistfulls with his clutching fingers. His agitations was actually getting in the way of Krill working.

“Adam, Adam just hold her head ok, help her stay calm.”

He nodded following orders stiffly, crawling over the ground to sit her head in his lap and tell her she was such a good girl and that she was going to be ok. Streams of continual tears rolled down his cheeks and onto her fur. Waffles licked his hand lethargically.

Sunny knelt next to him, hand on his shaking shoulder powerless as for what to do.

She had never seen him like this, ever.

Not that Adam was one to conceal his emotions completely, but he generally subscribed to silent tears if there were any at all. This, this was different, no holds barred uncontrollably sobbing, the kind where the human loses all functioning, eyes, nose, mouth and racking sobs that shook the body in aggressive, violent spasms.

Krill rolled waffles a little further onto her side spotting a deep gash from her chest and abdomen. He couldn't tell how deep it was, and didn’t want to look in this sort of environment.

“Sunny, call the shuttle!”

The urgency in his voice only served to secure Adam’s worst fears, “No… no, ou’re going to be o.”

“Adam, give me your jacket.”

He did without hesitation, ripping it off his body and offering it to krill as if it was the thing that was going to save her life.

Krill got Adam to help lift her onto the jacket and wrap her up, while he used some thing from his medical kit to staunch the bleeding. Waffles was still conscious, through her eyes were half lidded.

“Please be ok.” Adam begged, and despite all her injuries, her tail thudded against the ground at the sound of his voice and the touch of his hand. This only started his tears flowing even harder.

Overhead the sound of engines whirred, and touched down on the grass not far away.

“Ok, lift her gently.”

He did as ordered hugging her to his chest and practically racing towards the shuttle as it descended.

When the doors opened he practically bowled past the waiting marine who looked on in shock.

He gently lay Waffles on one of the seats all but yellin at one of the marines to make sure she stayed there before racing to the ront of the craft.

“Admiral are you sure…” The copilot began.

“Get out o my fucking way!” he snarled, and the ire in his voice was so that the man quickly leaped from his seat as Adam slid into the pilot’s seat. Krill was worried that the human was going to kill them all trying to pilot in that state, but what he witnessed next was a feat of pure talent and skill as he maneuvered them up through the clouds faster and steadier than krill would have thought possible.

Waffles whimpered softly in the background, held tight in Sunny’s arms now.

Their copilot sent out a medial call as soon as was feasible and very prudent.

By the time they made it inside, a crew was waiting with a stretcher.

Didn’t matter that it was waffles, but they treated her as they might any human with krill tagging long beside.

Adam ran after them until the doors to the med bay shut in his face and he was told to stay outside.

***

Sunny made her way quietly down the hall footsteps no more than a whisper over the metal floor. It was dark on the ship, the lights having been dimmed for the night. Up ahead she could see light filtering out into the hallway, and the rim lighting of a figure sitting in the dark.

She moved forward, and the mass of shadow coalesced from the darkness. Adam sat on the floor, knees pulled to his chest, head in his hands. Three pairs of bright yellow eyes looked up at her from the darkness. And Sunny tilted her head in surprise to see three Finnari curled up around Adam. One leaned against his left side, one leaned against his right side, and one rested against his legs.

The others raised their heads, though Adam remained curled up with his head in his hands.

Sunny nodded to them, “I can take it from here.” She said quietly

The Finnari looked between each other and then waddled to their feet. One of them patted Adam’s hair before joining the group and waddling off down the hall. Sunny knelt and then slowly sat next to Adam resting a hand on his back.They sat in the dark in silence for a long while before he looked up at her.

His cheeks were still wet, and she had no idea how he was still producing any, sure he would have dehydrated hours ago.

In response, she pulled the human closer using all four of her arms until he was curled up against her head resting against her chest.

“I….I can’t l-lose her s-sunny…. I I don’t know what I-I’d do.”

She rubbed his back gently with one of her lower hands, feeling as his body continued to spasm rhythmically with the beat of his grief. He covered his eyes with his right hand turning into her chest as if trying to hide his face. His teeth were gritted against quiet sobs.

But despite his attempts to stay quiet, he couldn’t.

It killed Sunny to watch.

He was completely debilitated. She had seen a human like this maybe once before under different circumstances. Neither war, nor kidnapping, or injury in the time she had known him had ever brought this man to his knees, and if it had it had been silently and alone where he dealt with it himself.

This was different.

He had snapped, broken right in half.

It surprised her almost how fragile humans were, after everything he could have gone through, and after everything he did, this is what hurt him.

His grief came in waves, one moment she thought he had finally calmed down, and then the next moment he was escalating again just as bad as before. It was exhausting to watch, and she had no idea what to do other than keep him company in the dimness of the hallway.

They were there for hours.

And then the door hissed open.

Adam shot to his feet as krill stepped out into the hall.

His hair was disheveled -- even more so than usual-- his face was red and puffy, his eyes were ringed in bright red. The collar of his shirt was damp. 

Sunny rose to her feat as well.

“Is she-” he couldn't finish, choking up again.

“She’s alright, we were just waiting for her to wake up to make sure. But she’s going to be ok.”

This time the sound he made was a sob of relief rather than grief, “Can I see her?”

Krill paused but then nodded, motioning him back. He hurried after into the med bay.

At the end of the room, waffles lay curled up on one of the beds.

She was wrapped in bandages and an IV was held into her right front leg with pink gauze. Someone had managed to fashion a makeshift cone out of plastic shielding.

Adam rushed over.

Waffles blinked slowly at him, too tired to lift her head, but her tail began to whap happily against the covers of the bed. He smiled rubbing his hands through the soft fur of her face and ears, “Good girl…. You’re such a good girl.” tears were leaking down his face again, but he was smiling.

With great effort, waffles lifted her head, licking at his face with her long pink tongue, whipping the tears from his face the only way she knew how.

Krill walked over and paused by them, “She should be up and about by tomorrow, but she definitely needs to rest and recover.”

Adam looked up at Krill, “Can I stay here…. With her?”

Krill looked at him unsure, but the look on the human’s face was one the little alien certainly couldn't say no to , and he sighed, “Alright, you can stay.”

When Sunny left the room Adam was curled up on the bed with the dog resting with her back to his chest, the two of them fast asleep.

Thank the spirits Waffles was ok.

***

Ask a human, the vast majority of them find the sadness of grief or pain of a dog to be more poignant than that of a human -- unless the human is one they know--. This is why movies often employ dogs for emotional factors. Perhaps you cannot get an audience to cry for the pain of a human, but if you get a dog to wait at its owner's owners grave than you can have an entire audience in tears. As I said earlier. It's hard to watch the pain of someone who doesn't deserve that pain and never will.

Dogs are a reflection of the best parts of man 

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Kiro’s R&S - Stunning Young Idol (Eng Translation)

🍒This R&S (惊艳的少年偶像领军人物) was part of the Dream Heart Lake event which will unlikely come to EN🍒

Context: An article in a Japanese magazine

Cancelled Kiro R&S:

> top experimental subject (by another user)

> stunning young idol ♡

> youthhood

> heaven’s home for children (by another user)

[ Chapter 1 ] 

Our interview with Kiro went very pleasantly. No one who attended the interview disliked him. Even our photographer, who has always been averse to young male idols, was full of praise.

Come to think of it, it’s no easy feat for this child to maintain such a transparent and innocent heart in an industry where crooks mix with honest folks. Readers who know him are definitely aware that he debuted in France at the age of six.

Back then, he accepted an interview in Paris for a television program. His tiny frame was seated in the large sofa, his legs not long enough to touch the floor, and were dangling in the air.

Many people were afraid that we wouldn’t be able to find this precious video clip. It was only through the recording Agent Savin sent that we could obtain this young and tender moment of Kiro.

Although the video clip has already been kept by Kiro’s agency and not accessible to the public, I can disclose it slightly through this interview.

The person who interviewed Kiro was Eva Saidel, a French female singer who was tremendously popular for a time. The beautiful Eva had asked Kiro if he could perform a song for her. Young Kiro nodded, obedient and filled with a gentlemanly demeanour as he responded, “Yes ma’am.”

-

[ Chapter 2 ]

Kiro performed Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata”. It wasn’t surprising that he liked Beethoven - all pianists definitely like Beethoven.

Saidel asked if he knew how to play other instruments. He replied by saying he also knew the violin, but was afraid that his neck would become crooked if he kept practising it. Everyone at the scene started laughing. Ms Saidel laughed excessively as well, and it was evident that she liked this child very much.

At the time, Kiro was wearing an adorable checkered shirt and a small, adorable hat. He even wore an official-looking tie. His cute appearance was sure to attract the attention of many.

A large proportion of Europeans knew of a mixed-race child who spoke fluent French, and would occasionally appear on the television to sing for them, or play classical pieces. They also gradually knew that his name was “Kiro” - this was a stage name he called himself when he debuted.

Eva Saidel, who had once interviewed him, liked him very much. Kiro said that he would always remember Ms Saidel’s luxurious and spotlessly white mansion. He would sit on the sofa in the mansion and listen to the old albums played by Ms Saidel.

Saidel also hired an incredibly renowned celloist from France to teach Kiro how to play the cello. I think many people don't know about this period from his past.

As of today, Saidel is already in her sunset years, and still remains in contact with Kiro.

When Kiro held a concert in Paris last month, the first person he invited as a guest was Saidel. He also played the song “Träumerei” using the cello she gave him.

“Back then, it was as though I returned to my childhood years. Ms Saidel is very kind, like a mother. She is extremely giving towards me.”

-

[ Chapter 3 ]

After junior high school in France, Kiro listened to Ms Saidel’s advice and studied in a high school in California. The intelligent Ms Saidel predicted everything - Kiro’s talent would be discovered very quickly.

After one performance, he was signed on with the renowned Warner Music Company. At the time, he was in Year Three, but never forgot his homework, and even entered Berkeley University with stellar results.

By the time he was in Year 4 (in contrast to Japan, high school in America spans four years, while elementary school spans five), he had already formed a band and was touring in various places. Warner Music is an experienced company with incredible foresight, and they allowed Kiro to return to France to begin his music career.

The number of fans Kiro had in Europe was astounding. The women in Europe found his mixed-race looks and his breathtaking voice unforgettable. Their concerts drew large crowds, and it would sometimes be difficult to obtain tickets. 90% of the females were there for Kiro. Such attractive force was rarely seen.

Actually, when we were interviewing Kiro, we could also feel the charisma he exuded. It’s a kind of magic which renders people unable to resist.

With just a smile, he easily won our hearts.

We have no idea why that’s the case. Perhaps it’s because he’s Kiro. 

-

On the topic of whether he gleaned anything from his four years in Berkeley University, Kiro spoke without reservation and commented that he felt a lot of stress as there were many elite students. Hence, he had to fork out even more effort than usual to face each examination.

When he was in Year Three, Kiro continued touring with the band. He disclosed that he used to do his homework on the plane. When his band was touring the entirety of Europe, his band members would spend their spare time exploring the picturesque towns while Kiro would be holding his books and revising in the hotel.

When we asked why he was so hardworking, he replied by saying that he didn’t want his professors to stop liking him because of a drop in his grades.

In reality, every teacher who has met him like him very much. But because of this, Kiro always remained in fear. From beginning to end, he felt that the love and care from people was akin to smoke - surging at first, but dissipates gradually.

-

[ Chapter 4 ] 

Kiro told us that he had felt very scared when he made the sudden decision to return to China after graduating from university. After all, there were many excellent artistes in China, and he was afraid that he wouldn’t receive love from fans.

But reality is always unexpected. His act of returning to China to develop was extremely correct. It allowed people in Asia to notice his radiant light. The artiste from China that the media in Korea likes reporting on the most is Kiro. Every now and then, he would cause a sensation there, but they would be for issues that aren’t important.

In Japan, he truly stirred a sensation through “Three Kingdoms”, a movie he was in half a year ago. He played the role of Sun Ce.

“The History of the Three Kingdoms” enjoyed widespread popularity in Japan.

This movie adaptation of “Three Kingdoms” was incredibly well received in Japan, and everyone was enthusiastic about the contents of the movie.

Even now, Kiro can recall how life was like with the cast and crew. in order to play the role of Sun Ce, he had to dye his golden coloured hair black, wear headgear, don extremely thick armour, and he had to put on brown contact lenses. His headgear was very cumbersome and heavy. If it hadn’t fit, it would have squeezed and pressed on his head, turning him into a “Flat Kiro”.

In the process of filming “Three Kingdoms”, his favourite scenes were the ones where he was on a horse, because the horse could help share the weight of his armour, and the horse would always end up gasping for air. His most deeply etched memory was when he didn’t control the amount of pressure when riding the horse, causing it to toss him onto the ground. His chest was almost trampled by the horse, and he almost lost his life.

He rarely shares this incident with others. “It’d be so embarrassing if other people knew about it,” he laughed while telling this to us. Even now, I can still remember his brilliant smile. “The agent gave me a scolding after he found out about it. The director and assistant director also said that I had angered the horse, which is why it took revenge on me.”

Afterwards, the crew and cast from “Three Kingdoms” specially came to Japan to promote the movie. During that time, “Three Kingdoms” ranked number one in the box-office ratings. And this was even though Kiro didn’t have many scenes in the movie - he only made an appearance for ten minutes.

But because of this short opportunity, movie fans in Japan started to know of Kiro. Looks like our meeting with Kiro was also destined.

He said he could never forget the image of how numerous fans rushed to Haneda Airport to receive him when the crew and cast just arrived in Tokyo.

Kiro confessed that he had never thought that he’d receive such a large fanbase in a foreign country.

The enthusiasm of the fans in Japan caused him to feel extremely flattered. And his trip to Japan this time was no exception. There were even more fans who received him at the airport than before.

Precisely because of this astounding attractive force, Kiro became a superstar who could perform in the Tokyo Dome. 

-

[ Chapter 5 ]

At this point, I think everyone has some basic understanding of this adorable boy. He isn’t just a pretty face (even though there are many such artistes nowadays).

I highly recommend his latest single, “Ash”, which has a somewhat heavy metal rock music style. But he has recently started shifting towards pop music, and has clearly stated that he would spend even more time on music, and would temporarily reject a few invitations to variety shows or television dramas.

This means that for now, we might not see an invigorated Kiro on television screens. Fans will definitely grieve over this, but there’s no need to be too upset, because Kiro will bring a new album to us. During the interview, he revealed that the first song in his new album would be a heavy bomb!

The composer who was involved in producing this song also noted that this song could potentially alter what “popular music” is in Asia.

So, let’s look forward to the surprises this youth will bring us, and letting us know from this interview --

That we should never underestimate this youth.

The concert at the Tokyo Dome will commence a week later. Although tickets have already been swept up, there’s no need to feel discouraged. This magazine still has a lucky draw activity for fans. We will select three lucky readers and give out three front-row tickets to the concert at the Tokyo Dome. More information can be found on our official website.

-

Other cancelled R&S: here

[the-wanted-man]

Comrades-in-Arms .II

Warnings: Potential 5.x spoilers regarding Garlemald. Part [1] Imperial Garlemald | Levi’s Theme

“The whole damn country’s gone to hell in a hand-basket, boys. Now, I don’t, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, say this to be an alarmist but...just look at the facts. Losing royalty left and right. People disappearing in the dead of night. I mean I love this country as much as any true son but we’re eating ourselves from the inside out, and it doesn’t seem to matter what side you’re on anymore.  I know you can feel it. The noose tightening in around the neck. The cross-hairs on the back. We’re coming up to the point of no return. Loyalist...or otherwise.”

The windstorm comes on much quicker than they’d anticipated and it makes those last few malms a miserable journey for the small unit. Even fully suited the harsh winds cut through the layers of their like phantom swords and moving became a matter of necessity to keep the chill at bay. Even silver-spoon Leviticus found it necessary to walk eventually.

Companionable moods from even minutes before seemed to lessen at the same rate their visibility did. The snowy haze of the blizzard made seeing more than five fulms ahead a near impossible feat after a time and were it not for the pulsing red light of the old guard tower beacon ahead they might’ve surely been lost to the white.

Eventually, they came upon an impenetrable wall of steel that seemed to simply rise up out of the snow. It wasn’t exactly the kind of sight that most would consider welcoming with its clinically grey exterior, and structured lighting that barely seemed to shine through the thick coat of hoarfrost that had built upon its metal surface. What bliss it would be to leave this place behind.

“Now, talk of insurrection is on the winds...and I’m not saying I support it but I DO understand it. You’re kidding yourself too, if you think I’m the only one who sees how this is going to get. Everyone’s thinking it, even if no one’s out right saying it. I mean...civil war...When its neighbor against neighbor....friend against friend...Brother against brother...It’s only a matter of time before you have to -really- start asking yourself -- Well, who can you really trust?”

A kind of tense silence seems to sweep over the convoy by the time the magitek vehicle rolls to a halt in front of the castellum gates. It starts as the usual routine first: the declaration of ranks, unit and business into a blue screen that takes their information. .

Albina quo Silvius. XIth Auxilliary. Supply drop.

The terminal flashes, and then beeps in acceptance of the credentials provided. With an almighty, groaning, screech of moving metal, the barricade begins to lower itself. Sinking into the earth like some kind of retreating monolith.The ice along its frame spider-webs and cracks, before falling away.

They are waved through, just past the barricades where two armed guards walk forward to greet them. Little more than a skeleton crew was necessary to keep the checkpoint appearing operational. Papers were exchanged and one guard points something out to verify it with the other. They nod, and then the first guard lifts his rifle up to Bastille’s chest, and fires twice.

“Times like this, might SEEM like you can’t trust anyone at all. Like you got to keep your guard up to keep the knife from sticking in your back. Like its all you can do to keep it from twisting... You might even feel like you’re alone. Like the whole world is pitted against you. Well, I’m here to tell you that you are NOT alone. There’s people you can trust. ”

It was absolute chaos.

Gunfire erupts from behind them and the team scatters. Albina shoves Quintus just as the second guard opens a volley of fire where he’d previously been sitting. Her weapon is drawn, and she cuts down one of the soldiers before he can fire again.

Tatius tackles one of the castellum guards as two more flank them from the gates. Cicero dives for cover, taking Levi with him as he goes. He screams for Crispus to radio for help while they’re pinned down by fire. Leviticus thanks the man by flossing the space between his ears with a bullet.

His unit starts to fall, one by one. Tatius manged to take on with him before he is pulled into a chokehold and he struggles until he doesn’t. Everything happens so fast, Albina barely has time to process as she pulls her blade from the body of an imperial soldier. It begins to dawn on her though, as she turns to her treacherous fiance.

“What did you do?”

“Matter fact, they’re right here in this very room. Take a look around boys, to the left, and to the right of you. Ahead and behind. Look around and witness them - your family! Us who’ve slept together. Who’ve bled together...Killed together.  -Trust- in them. Your fellow brothers-in-arms. Trust...in me.”

She knows before they’re even at each others throats. She knows the man she’d intended to marry so well she empowers him in moments and backs him blade tip first into the caravan. She knows that somehow this is his fault and doesn’t understand how she could have been so blind.

Leviticus only answers with a shameless smirk, but she catches the flick of his silver eyes and turns in time to be impaled by Crispus. He had always been quiet, and she had thought, dependable. She realized now, just not to her. Albina slumps to the ground. The battle is over and the damage done as quickly and as suddenly as a lightning strike.

The world starts to muffle and fade into black. Albina hears her fiance say “Took your sweet time.” As he brushes off his uniform and looks to the two remaining guards. He steps over her body, pausing long enough to tell her “Consider this an end to our engagement, darling. It’s not that its me, it’s just that it’s you. Quintus -- you can come out from hiding now.”

Harsher blows couldn’t be dealt as the young medic crawls out from the mud and snow, shivering as he stands and looks Albina in the eyes as they close. “R-really, Levi. Sh-she was your fiance.”

“I know! What was I thinking? Marriage never would have suited me.” 

“You see, commitment is important. How long have we been at this -game-, Family? Four years? Five? Because that’s what it comes down to. Our lives, are a -game- to...to these people! Heartless, and arrogant leaders who care more about their image than those who make them -look- good...Who are so quick to kill their own loyal brothers and sisters, if it makes them look good. Greedy, selfish leaders. That’s what they are.”

“Load those supply crates in that freighter there. We’ll need all the money we can get across the border and these weapons will flip for a pretty gil piece there. Especially now.” 

Equipment is quickly  transferred and stored within the cargo hold of a small airship, none of which Levi lifted so much as a finger for. The ship itself was weaponless luxury class and couldn’t pass for militaristic if it tried. Too spacious. Too comfortable. Being royalty had its perks, and no one said escaping couldn’t be done in style.

“Did we really have to...do all this?”  Leviticus looked over to Quintus, who stood anxiously over the body of Bastille. He seemed like he was having second thoughts, and Levi couldn’t have that.

“Having doubts, are we? You know they never would have hesitated for us. Even my loving fiance was too committed to the country for us to ever work. It still hurt me, having to do this to them. Him though...I never liked Bastille. It might be terrible but..It’s true. He always acted like he was...better than all of us. Better than you.”  Bastille croaks and Levi considers it the definition of a corpse turning in its grave.

“I...oh jeez, I think he’s still alive..?”

Leviticus passes the young man a knife. “You said you could kill for a bath, right? Well, how bad did you want it?”

"Was it those officers starving in the cold beside us while they shouted orders from the back lines? Hm? Was it them? Huddling in the trenches, never knowing if  they’d see the light of day? Do you think they care? What about the people. We serve citizens that don’t even care for the sacrifices we make. Who spit on us when we marched in the cities. They don’t know what we had to do, to survive. What we -will- do.”

They staged the scene, positioning the bodies of their fellows more deliberately. Stripped the castellum of its valuable supplies and spilled a trail of ceruleum around the encampment with whatever excess they could find.

A more immediate guess once discovered might lead the assumption of an encounter with savages and he relied on the fact that resources would be stretched too thin to make an in-depth investigation. It wasn’t perfect but it would do.

The four loaded themselves onto the new convoy, an airship no bigger than standard fare civilian transport and luggage but it was enough for them and  their haul. At the hatch, Leviticus turned to look behind him. Struck a match off his chest, and tossed it into the shimmering pool of oil. Blue fire spreads like spilled ink over thin cloth. Leviticus leaves brimstone in his wake, and it makes him feel divine.

If he can do this, he can do anything.

“The hand that claims to feed, has only ever taken away. Everything we did, we did for nothing. But I promise you...if you follow me...if you trust me...trust the man on your left, and on your right...Nothing, is what’s going to stand in our way.

The ship full of defectors takes off from a blazing outpost and veers off into the distant sky.

                                            To be continued...                                                    

[thanks--for--listening]

figments of the dark

yes i read all the grishaverse books after watching the show yes i’ve now written kanej fic yes they’re my dream couple no i’m not okay mentally. SPOILERS FOR CROOKED KINGDOM this fic takes place right after it. 

(also on ao3)

~~

She kept pace with him initially. Walking down to the harbor, he watched as the Suli couple moved closer and closer, the details of their appearance materializing with each step. The gray of the man’s hair creeping in at the edges. The woman’s long braid lying gracefully over her shoulder. Their hands clasped together, tugging each other along as the distance between them and their daughter disappeared. Inej was nearly jumping out of her own skin, but she stayed by his side, only breaking into a sprint when there was nothing but a few feet separating them. It was the most impressive feat of strength he’d seen from her. From anyone, if he was being honest. 

They swallowed her whole. Neither were particularly tall, but they towered over her nonetheless, their arms wrapping effortlessly around her delicate frame. As he stepped closer, he could hear them amidst the sobs, the prayers usually whispered under Inej’s breath now spoken loudly and without reservation. Their foreignness was familiar. Kaz might not have cared for gods or saints, for myths and legends, but the sound of their devotion still soothed his racing heart.

He stood back as they held one another. A feeling deep in his gut ignited softly, a spark burning in isolation: not strong enough to turn into a flame, but with enough heat to leave a scar. It wasn’t resentment — he would have given anything for her to have this moment, would have let the rest of the world crumble around them if that’s what it cost — but an aftertaste of something else lingered as he watched them. No matter how often he won, how deft defying the odds or complicated the scheme, he’d never have anyone waiting for him when the dust settled. Not like Inej did. Not like Jesper did. His victories had long been celebrated in solitude, and he’d come to terms with that years ago. 

Still, the feeling seemed to whisper, a voice in his head that sounded like someone he knew. Still.

“Kaz!” He blinked the thoughts away, straightened his back as they walked toward him. “Mama, Papa, this is Kaz Brekker. He’s saved my life more times than I can count.”

“Your daughter paints me in a better light than I deserve.” He looked at her as he added, “No one has ever protected me the way she has.”

Their eyes were locked, and he saw it again. One of the first lessons Ketterdam had taught him was to read faces as if they were words on a page. Any hand could be won, any man could be manipulated, if one could learn to see beneath the surface. Nobody could hide forever. Their hearts would give them away every time. 

Now he was grateful for the lesson. Not for the victories it had led to, or the money he’d won, but for the undeniable truth of what he saw. Adoration. When Inej looked at him, it was as if the entire harbor floated away, and all that was left were the tears in her eye and the smile on her face. It didn’t matter that the real joy had come from her parents; he would use any excuse to be on the other end of that look, regardless of whether he deserved it.

Kaz didn’t even notice her father until Inej stuck her arm out, spoke in quick and hushed Suli. He didn’t have to know the language to understand — Mr. Ghafa had moved to embrace him, until Inej stood in the way. Kaz had been lost in the endless depths of her eyes, drawn to them like a sailor to a siren, so fixated he would have drowned rather than tear his gaze away. Inej, his better in every way that mattered and every way that didn’t, had never lost sight of the world around them. Even now, when the threat came in the form of a grateful father, when her focus should have been at its weakest, she was still protecting him. 

He wanted to tell her that he would take it. The touch, and the revulsion that came with it. The gratitude he’d done nothing to earn. He would suffer any pain, subject himself to all kinds of agony, play whatever character she wanted, even the farm boy he knew had died in that river. He would hunt the world for her wretched saints and construct an altar of his own, if it kept that smile on her face. 

“Thank you,” her mother said, the words still muddled by the tears that had yet to stop. “Thank you for keeping her safe.”

Safety didn’t exist in Ketterdam, and it certainly wasn’t what he’d given her when he’d taken her out of that Menagerie, but he kept his mouth shut, nodded curtly. That wasn’t his story to tell. 

“Every day, we searched,” her father said. “They told us to give up. They said you were lost, that those who took you would never let you go. They said you wouldn’t make it no matter where you’d gone, but we said no. Our Inej has angels on her shoulders and wings on her back. She can survive anything.”

If she hadn’t been before, Inej was crying now. With every passing moment, Kaz felt more and more like an intruder. He wondered if it was some sort of retribution for each time he’d sent her to creep in through someone’s window, to become the audience they weren’t aware of. How much had he learned from her being privy to moments like this, so intimate and exposed? What had it cost her to push back the guilt that came with the encroachment?

“I can,” she said. “But I didn’t have to do it alone.”

He listened half-heartedly as she told them about Wylan and Jesper and Nina. The house she was staying in, with a staff and a view and a life that was much more palatable to those unfamiliar with the stench of the Barrel. Painting over their history was effortless with those kinds of tools. The only question was how long it could last. 

As they began walking, he forced his face into neutrality, buried any evidence of the thoughts that ran through his mind. They would have to find out eventually. Perhaps not all of it, and ideally not all at once, but in due time the truth would become unavoidable. They spoke of survival as if it was an honorable thing, but where that ship had taken Inej, only those with the sharpest of claws and malleable of morals made it out alive. Dirtyhands may have become his title, but nobody around here could claim cleanliness. Not even the dead.

The path made itself clear, the flip of the final card coming to him with striking clarity. A death blow delivered by the river, turning a winning hand into a losing one in a single fluid motion. They had been looking for their lost child, for a little girl who only ever pushed the limits in a performance. But the secret to the Dregs was that everyone was already dead. They may have called themselves Crows, but like phoenixes born from the ashes of their old lives, rebirth was an entry level requirement. Whoever they’d gone searching for, the Ghafa’s had found someone else. He didn’t know when they’d realize it, when they’d look at their daughter and see a stranger in her place, but he knew the moment would come. And for the first time in his short and miserable life, Kaz longed to be wrong. 

Tuning back into the conversation, he caught the tail end of a list of relatives, each one having done their own part in trying to find her. Inej stood in between them as they walked. Kaz let himself fall back just slightly, a pace behind theirs. It was as much privacy as he could give out on the street. Things may have improved for the Dregs in the past few weeks, but that didn’t mean people weren’t still watching, waiting to find them in a moment of weakness, waiting for their chance to steal the throne Kaz and his crew had built from nothing. 

“We’ll send a letter as soon as we make it to your friends’ home. Nobody knew what to believe when the messenger came to us with news about you. Half the family were convinced this was all a scam, a ruse to kidnap us as well.”

“Your aunts will start planning the celebration before we even board the ship home,” her mother said with a smile. The tears had eased up, replaced with effortless joy and comfort. “Preparing the food will take half the length of the trip, at least.”

Inej let out a moan. “Nobody in Ketterdam knows how to cook properly.”

Her mother’s smile grew, something he hadn’t thought was possible. “Anything you want, I’ll make. Saints willing, I’ll be cooking for you for the rest of my life.”

“You’re in for a treat,” her father added. “Ever since the circus ended, your mother has been cooking non-stop. Everything will be better than you remember.”

“Wait,” her eyebrows scrunched together. “What do you mean, the circus ended?”

The smiles faded. “We tried,” he said, his voice tainted with the somber weight of grief that grew heavier over time. “But how could we go on without our star? How could we look to the sky and see someone else walking amongst the clouds?”

“It wasn’t fair,” her mother said softly. “To the family. They needed the performances to survive, but we…we needed every moment to search for you. We needed you to survive.”

They’d slowed their pace, and even though he slowed with them, they now stood nearly side by side. Kaz left a gap the size of a person between him and her father in a pathetic and slightly selfish attempt at disappearing. He’d have pulled an Inej and evaporated altogether, had she not asked him to stay. 

“I’m sorry,” Inej said, and he couldn’t see her face clearly but he could hear the tears in her voice. 

“For what, zheji?”

“For being the reason you stopped. Performing was our lives. It was everything you’d worked toward.”

“Inej, you are our lives. You are more important than any stage or crowd. You are worth more than any money in the world.” Her mother stopped walking, grabbed hold of her face as she said, “I would walk away from the circus a thousand times if it meant you were safe.”

Inej just nodded. The feeling snuck in again, quick and quiet and sharp; he forced it back down as they started walking again. He refused to let his pitiful, despicable nature ruin any part of this moment for her. 

“And who knows?” Her father said, the cheer in his voice somehow both authentic and artificial. “Once you come home, maybe we can put the show back on the road. Perform as a family again.”

Oh. So this was the moment. He’d known it was a possibility when he’d made the deal, but his mind had refused to accept it. The life he led required foresight, examining every outcome for every choice, but he hadn’t found the strength to prepare for this ending: the moment she left.

His step staggered ever so slightly. It shouldn’t have been noticeable, shouldn’t have disrupted the rhythm of their walk, but like a conductor trained to spot the lone instrument out of tune, Inej turned. She stared first at the ground in front of him, then brought her gaze up. Met his. An inquisitive look flashed across her face, as if she was searching for the disruption. Or perhaps she was searching for something else. 

He tried to school his features into something legible, to show her the answer she was looking for. The permission, although it wasn’t his to give. The forgiveness, although there was no guilt to absolve. Even when he wanted to fall onto his hands and knees and beg her to stay; even when the thought of her living across the true sea made the air around him grow thicker and his lungs smaller, made breathing a painful, labored thing. He nodded his head slightly even when every nerve in his body fought against it, because if there was anyone who deserved to turn their back on Ketterdam and leave it all behind, it was her. If leaving was what made her happy, he’d send her off without a single word of protest. If she wanted to fly on her own land, on her own accord, who was he to ground her, to tie her wings for the sake of his own spoiled heart?

Inej didn’t say anything, but the look on her face…Kaz wasn’t one to cling to hope, but he grasped desperately to her reluctance, to the way she bit her lip and kept her eyes away from her parents. Even if she also kept them away from him.

— 

Jesper had a thousand questions. 

He’d spent half of dinner begging the Ghafas for stories about Inej as a child, and the other half endlessly praising Mrs. Ghafa’s cooking. Kaz couldn’t fault him for the latter — Inej and her mother had spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen, and what they’d come out with was quite easily the best meal he’d ever had. The way they managed to extract flavors he’d never tasted before from the ingredients he’d had at his disposal for years was an art form in itself, one that rivaled even his own general resourcefulness. And the smell. Envy reared its ugly head at the thought of Wylan and Jesper getting to enjoy the lingering scent long after the meal had been devoured.

“We had a guest faint during one of her performances.” Her father was telling the story with the same enthusiasm as he had with every one that came before. Where Inej was silent and still, her father was big and bold, every move exaggerated and every word announced rather than spoken. Kaz wondered whether it had always been her nature, or whether he was witnessing what Inej might have been had she not been forced into the shadows. 

“Faint? Because of Inej?”

“Oh, yes. You see, we realized that we couldn’t make it look too easy. Not that it was easy, of course, but when Inej walks that rope, it looks effortless. So we staged a wobble, a moment for her to pretend to lose her balance. Oh, the way people panicked! They’d hold their breaths and try to hide their eyes, but none of them could ever look away, not until she made it to the other side.”

“Was the woman who passed out okay?” Wylan asked.

Her father shook his head. “You misunderstand. Women never looked away. They stared with intensity, as if their eyes could carry her to safety. The poor man collapsed right there in the front row.”

“He didn’t even see the rest of my act,” Inej added. “That’s the real travesty.”

“Maybe he’ll come back and see how it ends once you’re home.” Kaz saw it again, the feeling streaking across her face like a runaway star. Only this time, it wasn’t reluctance: it was guilt. 

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what, zheji?”

The first words had come out softly, but when Inej looked up at her father, she spoke with the determination that Kaz had grown used to. “I can’t stay. I can’t rejoin the circus.”

“So you’re out of practice. It’s nothing a little time can’t fix! You have magic in you, Inej. That doesn’t just go away.”

“No,” she said. “I can’t rejoin the circus because I have to come back. Here, to Ketterdam.”

Her mother reached across the table, put her hands in her own. “They took you against your will. Against our will. Whoever stole you can’t stop us from taking you home. Nobody can keep you here anymore.”

“No,” she said, “you’re not hearing me. I want to go home. I want to see the family, to spend time with you. But I also want to come back.”

“I don’t understand,” her father said, and Kaz could hear the desperation creeping into his voice. “What could a place like this possibly have that would be worth leaving your family? Leaving your home?”

“Papa, it’s not about leaving you.” Jesper was practically bouncing out of his own skin, and Wylan’s eyes scoured the room in search of anything else to look at, but Kaz kept his gaze fixed on the table in front of them. A part of him knew the noble thing, the polite thing, would be to silently excuse himself, to give the Ghafas this moment alone. But Inej had started it with them there, and Kaz didn’t have the willpower to walk away before he heard her answer. 

“Then what is it about?”

“It’s about everyone else.” Inej spoke with fervor, impassioned with purpose and righteousness. It fit her better than being a spider ever had. “There are hundreds of little girls and boys going through exactly what I did. Only they don’t get rescued. They don’t have anyone looking out for them.” She spared a quick glance his way; he pretended not to notice. “I can’t go home while they suffer.”

“So it is us who should suffer, then?”

Inej groaned. “Mama, that isn’t fair and you know it.”

“Life isn’t fair,” her father said. “The world is full of terrible people, Inej. You can’t—“

“Trust me when I say I know the terrors of both men and women alike.” Venom had slipped into her voice. Kaz watched the shock slowly register across her parents’ faces, watched as they blinked at the girl who had replaced their daring but soft-spoken daughter. He wondered when they’d truly process her words. Back in Ravka? On the boat home? Maybe it would come while they lay awake tonight, dreams poisoned by the realization that some version of their worst nightmare had come true. That even though she stood in front of them now, seemingly all in one piece, Ketterdam had still taken something from her, and nothing they ever did could give it back.

“I only meant to say,” her father continued, his tone shifting into something gentler, “that this battle is one you’ll likely never win. There’s no end to greed. Not in this lifetime. Perhaps not even in the next. Every enemy you defeat, every man you force into accountability, will only be replaced by two more looking to use his failure as a stepping stone.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to adjust my aim. Target the root and not the weeds.”

“Why?” Her mother groaned, frustration and terror written all over her face. “Why does it have to be you? Someone else can save the world. Someone else’s daughter can play the hero. Why can’t you just come home?”

“Who, Mama? Who’s gonna save them if not me? Who’s going to watch out for them when their families are told they’re dead and nobody else comes looking?” She turned toward her father. “I know it’s a losing hand. But I’m not the same person I was before. I know how to win with anything now, how to bend the rules so they work in my favor.”

“But you don’t have to,” he begged. 

“If nobody ever tries, nothing gets better. I have to try, Papa. I owe them at least that much. I owe myself that much.”

The silence spread quickly. He knew there was nothing in the air, but the tension felt like a gas leak, like one spark could set the whole house ablaze. Kaz watched the way they stared across the table, each waiting for the other to break first but neither one wanting to watch them burn. Even if he hadn’t been a betting man, he would have known who to back in this fight of wills. Whether on the ground or in the air, Inej would hold steady. If nothing else, he could count on that.

Jesper clapped his hands, the sound echoing across the room that felt both overwhelmingly big and suffocatingly small. “So! Who’s up for a little music?”

—

Kaz found her exactly where he expected to. The sound of Wylan’s piano faded as he cracked open the window, pulling himself up onto the roof even when his leg throbbed in protest. 

Inej didn’t move, didn’t do anything to acknowledge his presence. She didn’t have to — she always knew where he was, just as he did her. Climbing up to her perch, he let the sounds of the city surround them. It never mattered what time of day it was: someone in Ketterdam was always awake, and therefore, no one was ever truly alone.

“They don’t believe me,” she said softly. He fought the urge to turn toward her; he knew that some words were more easily spoken to something rather than someone. “They think that the minute I get home, I’ll just forget about everything here.”

“Unfortunately, I think Jesper’s singing is going to be permanently ingrained in all our minds.”

He spared a quick glance, caught the corners of her mouth creeping upward. “Who needs to remember? I’m positive the sound will carry all the way across the true sea and into Ravka.”

“We should be grateful for their diminished armies, then. If they had the means, I’m positive this performance would be a worthy cause to go to war.”

She laughed then, just once, but saints the sound was enough to send electricity through his entire body. He’d start a war himself for that sound. He’d crawl into the Ice Court with nothing but his own two hands. He’d try and heal the shattered bits inside himself if it meant he got to hear her at her happiest, if he got to be the one to make her feel that way in the first place. 

Kaz wanted to stay like this, to poke fun and let the future disappear, to laugh and let the hard words hide beneath the sound, but he’d never had a habit of doing what was good for him. The dead of night exposed questions that cowered in the light of day, and for all his strength, he couldn’t resist knowing the answers. “Would it be so bad? To forget this place?”

“I could never do that. Not even if I wanted to.”

“You don’t know if that’s true. Time away, back with your family, it could help. It could…heal.”

Inej finally turned toward him, the daggers in her eyes as accurate and deadly as the ones strapped to her wrists. “Do you really think you could just leave and pretend like none of this ever happened?”

Part of him wanted to lie, wanted to believe in a world where the past stayed locked in history and the future could be its own thing entirely. If not for himself, then for her. But while the sentiment may have been foreign to her parents, Kaz and Inej spoke the language of the Dregs. There was a reason people got tattooed when they joined: being a Crow wasn’t something you could ever leave behind. 

“No,” he said. “I don’t.”

“Exactly.” She turned forward again, stared at the city as if it could give her whatever answer she was looking for. “All night, I could feel my parents looking for a ghost. They remember a girl whose only dream in life was to walk across air, but there are other things that matter more to me than the fucking applause.” She leaned back without losing her balance. “I don’t think they’re ready to see the person I’ve become.”

“Then they’re missing out on the strongest, bravest, and most honorable person in all of Ketterdam.”

Inej raised an eyebrow at him. There was curiosity in her eyes, and behind it, something more. Something he hadn’t seen on her yet, despite spending a considerable amount of time stealing glances, soaking in the sight of her whenever he could afford to. He couldn’t be sure, but it almost looked like pride. “Since when do you care for honor?”

“Since you watched me at my weakest and my worst, and still deemed me a worthy cause for devotion.” He kept his eyes on her now, emboldened by the light of the moon and the truth of his words. “You look to your saints for guidance, but I look to you. So long as you stand by me, I know I haven’t strayed too far.”

As he spoke, he carefully slipped his hand out of his glove; when the only sound left was the echo of his words around them, he reached for her hand, let his own slide into place within it. Immediately the rush came, the concoction of emotions all tangled up and twisted. He squeezed, let the pressure of her reciprocation ground him in the present and on dry land. 

Pain would always come first. No matter how much time passed, no matter who he was with, Kaz wasn’t sure that would ever change. For so long the agony had held a chokehold on anything else that might come with it, suppressing desire until it was all but nonexistent. The longer they held onto one another, though, the stronger it became. Inej dulled the anguish until it was no sharper than a blunt knife, until he could feel everything else without being blinded by the blade. 

Eventually, she let go, only to shift and drop her head onto his shoulder. She rested largely on his jacket, but there was a sliver, right by his neck, where their skin came together. It set his pulse on fire. It felt like exhaling. Like holding something so delicate in his hands he didn’t dare breathe and risk disturbing it. The weight of her against him sent all his senses up into disarray, and he wondered for half a second if this was what the rush of parem felt like, because with Inej leaning against him. he swore he could see, hear, feel everything. The pain all but evaporated. The world came gloriously into tune, and now that he’d heard the sweet sound it could make, Kaz wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to tolerate a sour note. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, the sound nearly blending into the ambiance provided by the sky above and ground below, nearly drowned by the synchronous beats of their hearts. “Thank you for bringing them back to me.”

“Anything,” he responded just as quietly. “No matter the cost nor the reason. If you ask, I’ll do anything.”

“Why?” The question was so genuine, and he wasn’t sure he had an answer. How could he possibly put into words the feeling of needing her happiness as much as he needed air to breathe? What could he give her that could show just how deeply he craved her, and how terrifying and exhilarating and all-encompassing that desire was? 

“You asked me earlier about my tell,” he said after a moment. His eyes were fixed on the city in front of him, but he could feel her gaze. This time, it was he who couldn’t say the words to her face. “I gave you a half-truth. My tell, my true vulnerability, the thing that gives me away every time, is you. When you’re by my side, no one else matters. Not the rest of the team, not the job. Nothing.”

“Is that why you…?” She didn’t have to finish her thought. He knew what moments she thought of, the constant battle inside himself she became victim to. The back and forth, longing turning to avoidance that never managed to last. A cycle he had yet to fully break out of. 

He nodded, just enough for her to see it. “Van Eck knew. That day he…when he threatened to kill everyone else, he set the trap that I walked right into. In the moment when we were all in peril, he followed my gaze and saw who I couldn’t afford to lose.”

“That’s funny,” she said, and he stared down at her, the confusion written all over his face. She tilted her head back slightly, just enough to look at him without breaking the contact. “Had he turned his eyes to me, he would have seen the same thing. I guess we damned each other that day.”

“It’s not funny.” He desperately tried to keep the edge out of his voice, but control was a fantasy when his mind went back to that night, to the days he spent in fear of Inej being tortured or killed or worse. “I vowed to never let anyone hurt you like that again because of me. Because of what you hurting would do to me.”

The quiet settled back in, as if it had never left, as if their conversation had already dissolved into oblivion. Her head shifted slightly, eyes turned back to the city in front of them. He longed to watch her, to search in her face for the thoughts running through her mind, but she still rested against his shoulder, and he would rather throw himself off the roof than disrupt the comfort she seemed to find there. Patience was something he’d once considered a virtue, but now it was practically nonexistent. 

“We can’t control the rest of the world,” she finally said. “Nor can we stop people from coming after us. Torturing yourself to stop someone else from doing it for you doesn’t solve anything; it only guarantees pain.”

“I’m no stranger to suffering. I’d rather withstand self-inflicting wounds. Those I can control.”

“It's not just you who suffers at your own hand.” She broke apart from him, shifted her body until they were face to face. A chill settled in where her head had been. 

When Inej was walking above him, traversing through territory only few could manage, he’d allowed himself to pretend she was safe. That her perch protected her from the terrors that struck on the ground. But now, sitting above the rest of the world, all he felt was exposed. He was not Inej. He had no control here; be it to the elements or his enemies, or the one who held his heart in her hands. Every part of him was vulnerable. 

“When you hurt yourself, when you consign your life to misery on the basis that it’s coming anyway, you hurt me as well. When you keep your distance, I’m the one who ends up untethered. You want to protect me from suffering on your behalf, but all you're doing is delivering the death blow yourself.”

“I…I never meant—“

“I know,” she said, her voice gentle and calm and everything he’d never deserved. “But I refuse to accept that pain any longer. I can’t love you if you spend all your time demolishing yourself. I’ll go down with this ship, but I can’t stay if you’re the one poking holes in the deck.”

“You won’t have to.” He’d never been one for vows, but he spoke them now, wondered if any of her beloved saints could hear him. If they would even dare listen to someone as depraved as he. “I can’t promise a miracle. I won’t lie to you and spew falsities about changes in morality that I know are nothing more than a cheap trick of the light. You deserve better than that. You deserve better than me. So every moment you choose to stay by my side is one I’ll devote to earning it.”

A crash from below sent them both to their weapons, before the sound of raucous laughter eased their grip. Kaz wondered if they’d ever stop anticipating the fight, if that instinct normally developed at childhood’s end, or if it was simply another consequence of living in Ketterdam. 

“I should probably go rescue my parents. We’ve left Jesper and Wylan to their own devices for too long.” He watched as she floated down the roof, as if the surface itself was flat and level, as if the force pulling them down to the ground was only optional. When she got to the windowsill, he expected her to disappear, but instead she stopped, hands gripping the edge of the roof. “You deserve better, too,” she told him. “Better than you’ve got. Better than you’re going to get. One day I’ll make you believe it.”

Kaz didn’t say anything, didn’t so much as breathe, not until she dropped through the window and out of sight. He stared at the spot she’d left behind. There was no trace of her, nothing he could point to to prove she was there. Only the catch in his breath and the chill on his skin. 

—

It was something he’d almost gotten used to by now. The smell. Saltwater had been one of the first things he’d learned to endure. Success and revenge both relied on the seas, so he’d spent as much time by the water as he could, until he could tolerate the scent without having to empty the contents of his stomach after so much as a whiff. It had been a lesson, he’d told himself. Every time served as a reminder that in order to beat Rollins, he’d need to leave the broken child behind. He’d need to become something better. Someone new. 

He didn’t know if it was the smell now that was nauseating, or the sight of the boat anchored on the harbor carrying Ravka’s double eagle flag. Inej’s parents had already begun making their way to the dock. Jesper and Wylan had given their heartfelt goodbyes back at the house; Kaz had said nothing, but followed a step behind them, just as he had upon their arrival. Inej never stopped him. He took her silence as an invitation. 

They’d passed The Wraith on their walk, and now his eyes kept trying to drag him back to it. Her ship turned his body and mind into a contradiction, elicited responses that shouldn’t have coexisted. Pride and fear, joy and sorrow, guilt and righteousness. It tempted him like a puzzle he wasn’t clever enough to solve, made him think that if he just kept looking, he might be able to sort it all out. To find an answer to a question he couldn’t ever ask. 

“You’ll watch over it when I’m gone?” He turned to face her, unsurprised that she followed his gaze even when the boat lay out of view. 

“Of course. I don’t abandon my investments.”

“Tell Specht he can start trying to put together a potential crew while I’m away. And that he’s got the job as my first mate if he wants it.”

“I’ll pass the word along.”

“Tell him to look into the girls first. The ones from the Menagerie.” 

“They may be hard to find,” he said casually. “Now that Heleen is shut down, most are scattered to the wind.”

“Then it’s a good thing he’ll have you.” Kaz raised an eyebrow at her, and she rolled her eyes. “I know you’ve kept tabs on them. Offered a place in the Slat, a new name and fresh start. Offered them a ticket home, too, if they have one.”

“I work for The Wraith,” he said in response. “She expects me to rid the world of evil women and men. Can’t do that if the girls have nowhere else to go.”

“What a formidable employer.”

Kaz smirked. “Rumor has it she’s got heartsick fools wrapped around her pinky, and slavers and scum crushed beneath her fist.”

“Is that so?”

“If the whispers are to be believed.”

“Sounds like a handful.”

“Only for the scum.”

“And for the heartsick fools?”

Sincerity slipped back in and he let it, forgoed the smirk and the sarcasm entirely. “For them, it’s an honor.”

Her own smile faded, and he wondered if he’d made a mistake. If the price of genuity was her laughter and lack of tension in her shoulders, he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to pay it. “When I return — and I will, no matter what my parents tell themselves — who am I going to find?”

He wanted to tell her that he’d be the same person she left behind. That she could dock her ship and they could walk besides one another the way they have before, that nothing had to change if they didn’t want it to. But that wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. And maybe, despite his own internal protests, that wasn’t the truth, either. 

For as long as Kaz Brekker had been alive, he’d had one singular purpose. Every choice and decision, every move he made, was done in service of that goal, the heist within all the heists. Brick by brick required time and diligence, so much so that it hadn’t left room for an after. It didn’t matter what name he used; the dominance, the relevance, the very existence of Pekka Rollins was never going to survive. Until the dust settled and he was still standing, Kaz didn’t think he would, either. 

But here he stood. And here she stood. The waves crashed against the harbor behind her, each one with a different incentive: the threat of drowning, the promise of infinite possibilities, the rueful fate awaiting any who would seek to control them. The sea dragged out what was left inside the infamous Kaz Brekker as easily as it pulled in the tide. In its wake, a rare type of tranquility remained. He had no plan, no scheme. There was only one thing left to give.

“I’m not sure,” he told her. He prayed she could hear the truth in his words. “But I know that each time you traverse the seas, I’ll be here on the shore. And whenever and wherever you decide to land, I’ll be there. Anything you need — support, supplies, a place to lie your head — you’ll have. What’s mine is yours. It always was. It always will be.”

Inej stared at him. If they were other people, he knew this would be the time for desperate hugs, for clinging to one another in some last ditch effort to fight off the sands of time. But they weren’t other people. They were Kaz and Inej. Products of the Barrel. Broken in all the same places. And he wasn’t sure he could handle holding onto her just to let her go. 

So they watched. Her eyes held the kind of radiance that the poets preached about. The wind pushed her braid back just slightly, as if it was trying to pull her toward the sea. The hilts of her knives glistened in the sun, peeking out only in places where he knew to look. If he was a religious man, he’d tell her she looked like a goddess, a deity escaped from whatever world lay beyond their own. If he followed the faith, he’d tell her that no saint, not even the one blessed with sunlight, could possibly outshine her. If he wasn’t a coward, he’d confess that he had already begun to pray for her, to beg the water to bend to her will, to keep her ship and her mission and her body and soul all in one piece. 

Years of walls crumbled under the weight of her gaze, and he let them with no resistance. He wasn’t sure what she saw when she looked at him, but he hoped she could hear the words he could not say. And the selfish, undeserving part of him wished she’d feel the same. 

The blaring horn from the ship fractured the moment. Neither of them flinched, but he watched her turn back, glance behind her at the vessel waiting to take her home. 

“I should probably go,” she said, but her feet stayed planted, her eyes already back on him. 

Courage came in the form of fear, his desperation to keep her in front of him shoving out words he hadn’t planned on saying. “When you return, who am I going to find?”

“I’m not sure.” She spoke slowly, and he wondered whether admitting it came with the same distress, the same relief, as it did for him. “But no matter what happens, I can promise you that I’ll come back. Not just to Ketterdam, or my ship. I’ll come back to you.”

“Why?” He felt sliced open just asking. No one else had ever had so many chances to destroy him without taking a single one. Part of him wondered when the shoe would drop, when the inevitable would happen and she’d turn her knife against him. How would her face look when she had his life in her hands? How long would it take her to realize he would welcome death with open arms rather than resist her? Kaz could think of no better way to die, no better way to live, than at her mercy. 

“A shadow,” Inej answered with a smile, “can only stray so far before the sun pulls it back where it belongs.”

He shook his head. “I’m the shadow; you’re the one who deserves to walk freely of me.”

She stepped closer, and his breath caught in his chest, sat right above his heart in glorious, agonizing anticipation. “Then every night I’ll pray for shade, so us figments of the dark can disappear together.”

Inej reached up, and it was only then that he noticed the gloves on her hands, thin and sleek, the same color black as his own. Despite the barrier, his heart still fluttered when she brought her hand up to his chin. She stood like that for a minute, her eyes searching for permission, and Kaz didn’t know what she was asking for but the answer would always be yes, yes, yes. 

Leaning toward him, she turned his head slightly, brought her lips to his cheek. They only touched for a second, maybe two, but it was enough to elicit another internal vow. He would find a way to fix as many of his jagged, shattered parts as he could, because the next time she brought her lips to his skin, he wanted to feel euphoria unburdened by anything else.

“I know I’ve said it before,” she whispered, “but thank you. For all of it.”

Whatever words, whatever courage he might have had, evaporated as quickly as it had come. The ship horn blared again but he kept his gaze steady, stole one last look, memorized the moment before it could fade. Inej lingered, as if she was doing the same, before she took a breath and turned around. 

Kaz watched. He watched her board the ship side by side with her parents. He watched her turn back as it began to pull away, the lone traveler facing Ketterdam rather than the endless sea. He watched until the ship disappeared into the horizon, the sight of it swallowed up by the glare of the sun. And even when it was gone, he watched for just a little bit longer, as if his eyes could carry her across the sea and into the safety that only existed in dreams and on a stage.

Turning around still hurt. Part of him longed to stay anchored to the harbor, to wait for her in the very spot she’d left him. But instead, he pulled his watch out of his pocket and began walking toward the Barrel. There was no time for standing around and waiting patiently. Not when he worked for The Wraith. She expected him to scrub their dirty home clean, and despite all his failings, Kaz Brekker refused to disappoint. 

[renouncingtoska]

Do you ever have one of those realizations that you're surrounded by your kind of people? It's rare for me, but it happened tonight. I'm part of a small invite-only yoga group every Tuesday at the local brewery where I spend a lot of time. Tonight, as we were enjoying our post-yoga beers, I learned the following about my friends there. Behind the counter I spotted a cylindrical mesh enclosement and I said to E, the co-owner of the brewery, "I was about to ask if there's a caterpillar in there but then I realized that sounds kind of insane," to which she replied that there was in fact a caterpillar in there. We laughed. Apparently she spotted the caterpillar on the road while driving—an amazing feat in and of itself—and scooped it up to take care of it until it emerges into what will evidently be a rosy maple moth. She took it out and let it crawl around on the bar, explaining that the hardness in the back part of its body indicates that it's about to pupate. (What a great fucking word.) I asked her if this is a thing she does and she admitted that it's somewhat of a hobby. I joked that it was some real Buffalo Bill shit and everyone laughed, including her, she's like me and can totally take a joke. But then I told her, sincerely, that I think that's so weird and cool that she has a caterpillar hobby and that I fucking love it. And I do. I really, really do love it. Then R—the oldest of the crew, probably in his early 50s—brought up the comet, and how he looked for it last night at 3:00 a.m. I asked if he's usually awake at that hour and he told me about how he stays up late to bake at midnight because he loves baking at night. Again, just a hobby. And then after he bakes, he hits the road on foot and takes long walks around town in the middle of the night, wearing a bright yellow vest for safety. He sees deer, foxes and bears regularly. He just loves being outside walking around town at night. I realized that I was surrounded by weird and interesting people, the kind of people I want to put my energy into. The kind of people who have hobbies that they don't try to monetize. Hobbies for the sake of hobbies. The kind of people who collect caterpillars on the side of the road and stay up all night to bake and bear witness to the town in the dead of night. I didn't share a weird hobby with them tonight, although there are plenty of weird things about me. I did tell them about Microcosmos, that nature documentary from the 90s with that transcendental scene of snails mating in slow-motion to classical music. But most importantly, I think, I bore witness to their weird hobbies and accepted with genuine interest and enthusiasm these quirky things about them that maybe a lot of people in their life don't understand or even really care about. It made me think of the times in my life when I've been at parties or gatherings and brought something up in conversation that I felt was really fascinating that went over like a lead balloon, like how the astronauts who landed on the moon experienced lifelong depression because nothing that happened in their lives from that point forward would ever compare. I know how good it feels to be accepted for who you are, to have your weirdness not just tolerated but celebrated. And it feels just as good to find your people. Or, in some cases, your person. I'm at a point in my life right now where I have both. It's the kind of thing where, when you find it, like E with her caterpillars, you hold onto it and nurture it and sustain it.

[wishing-stones]

Oh I saw a question about the boys handling kids of some sort of relatives of Ren or a stranger, but what are their thoughts on having kids? Or it Ren ever gets pregnant? (Assuming both parties are alright with it and Ren can produce a child?)

This is a great hypothetical, and I get to talk about human x monster (and monster x monster) reproduction here too!

Popping this under a readmore for potentially sensitive content, PLEASE read the tags before reading more.

So, generally, in order to make a new life, monsters have to make a new soul, which takes expenditure of soul magic. This oftentimes has to be done consciously, but may be more subconscious if they're in heat or caught up in their feelings.

Still, it takes two, so accidental pregnancies are incredibly rare, and indicate that both parties were thinking about it enough to want it to happen anyway.

This applies to human partners as well-- a human partner must also want that to happen, and with human souls and the magic surrounding them, it's a little more difficult and requires a bit more of a conscious effort.

Since monsters are born from magic, either parent can carry them. Monsters are born from soul magic, so they are carried in the soul until their body begins to form, at which point they are born. Soul gestation takes roughly the same time as human gestation takes, but it does vary from species to species.

With a human involved, a physical body must form. It's easiest for a partner with female reproductive parts to be able to carry the baby, but it can be that their monster partner could also carry the new life. The process is largely the same-- the soul is gestated within the carrying parent's own soul, but it matures a little faster, eventually migrating to where the body is forming, and merging with it. From that point, the pregnancy carries on as a fairly normal one. There are still risks and complications that can happen to the carrying parent, but most pregnancies and births are aided by magic and go fairly smoothly.

Human x monster unions create mages every single time. Mages are generally human in appearance but may bear some monstrous traits-- ears, a tail, scales, different eyes or teeth-- or even none at all. Mages are born with an innate ability to use magic, but the kinds of magic they can use largely depend on the monster parent, and the mage offspring's soul type. A soul of patience might find magic revolving around cold and ice more readily available, while a soul of justice might find ease in commanding electricity. They also might find utilizing the type of magic their monster parent has at their beck and call fairly easy-- so most of the boys' offspring would be able to use blue magic, and potentially have access to bone bullets, or blasters when they are much, much older.

Having covered all of that, let's get into the boys' thoughts on the matter.

Since we've covered that Ren is AFAB, they could carry if they wanted to. If they didn't, one of the boys could, and I'll cover those opinions as well.

Killer would like to have a kid of his own eventually. He doesn't think he's in a place right now to be able to have one, or that he'd make a very good father, anyway. It's kind of a pipe dream for him-- he wants one, but... he's not really fit to be a parent. He's more than happy to be "Uncle Killer," though. Killer would rather not carry, but could be convinced. He'd ham it the fuck up, though, so that's a bit of a double-edged sword. Dust similarly thinks he'd be an unfit parent. He's really unstable, dangerous, and unpredictable, even to those close to him. He'd love a kid someday, but he doesn't feel like that day will ever come. He doesn't much care for kids, but he's great with babies. Especially newborns. But despite that, Dust would not carry under any circumstance. He's too dangerous and unstable to bear that responsibility. Axe wants a big family. Several kids, and if Paps ever finds someone to settle with, several nieces and nephews. Since he's a little more stable nowadays and isn't struggling so hard, he'd probably be the one to entertain the thought the most. He's a lot anxious that he'd accidentally hurt such a fragile life, but he's unbelievably gentle with babies. Also the most prone to baby naps. He'd be worried about his magic getting wonky, but he'd absolutely carry if he needed to. Cross is hesitant to have a kid right now, but he does want to be a father, if for no other reason than to be better than his. He also wants to be a dad because he wants to, but... those feelings are a little harder for him to wrestle with. More than one kid, eventually, but not right now. He's... got a lot to contend with at the moment. Cross would rather not carry, but he'd step up if he had to. Baggs is difficult to answer this for. He's not in a spot where he'd be comfortable with a child right now. Too much going on, too many other responsibilities he'd have to bear. Perhaps one day, he'd make a fantastic father. Right now... he can't. And he won't. He also won't carry. He'd be too worried about stress effecting the soul, and that would stress him out even more. Plus, he isn't sure his magical system and body could handle the diversion of energy it would take-- he runs on fumes as it is. Nightmare would love children. More than two, if he could swing it. He wants to be able to raise a child better than he and his brother were raised. It's almost a form of redemption for him, but despite his tendency to project, he'd be amazing as a dad. Still... at the moment, he's not prepared for them. He'd like a little more secure stability, and to make sure any and all threats to his get would be eliminated before they're even conceived. Ren feels... conflicted. A pregnancy would slow them down for a while, and we all know how they feel about being benched or not useful by this point. Maybe later. They might get a little anxious about carrying the child, but would more than likely tough it out like they always do when faced with a challenge. They aren't too sure about being a parent, either, but... with the boys, it would be raising the kid as a unit, so it isn't just on them and whoever the other parent is.

Additionally, since the boys would carry the baby in an ecto body, when it's time for them to be born, the ecto would just... vanish, and poof! Baby. Carrying might have various unpleasant effects, but the birth, at least, is a complete non-issue.

(This might not be something that's popular with a lot of people, but I've sat on this headcanon for a long while. The entire mpreg aspect is completely not there for the sake of being there, it's part of the relationship and responsibility of bringing a new life into the multiverse. It's just something that's there and an option.)

[a-student-out-of-time]

April Fools Special Review: Part 5

Twisted Metal

Of course, Session 2 hasn’t ended but even this session had a lot of growth for Hibiki. While she has more or less accepted the true nature of her sister, and has decided to payback the kindness and support she got into helping others, there is still doubt and regret within her mind. Though Hibiki’s career is currently over, she still wants to get back into music eventually once things die down but now on her terms and not what Kanade decided, and there is still a part of Hibiki that loves Kanade like a sister. We also see that people who brush off music like a certain 11037, earn her ire as seeing him low key seeing music as a ‘easy route’ irritated her enough to confront the Future Ultimate Baseball Star himself on the matter. Despite the serious risk of exposure that she could have had, Hibiki might have been wearing a disguise at the time but there was already a scare in Session 1 when a date between her and Hajime was interrupted by a /r/niceguy fan, Leon wouldn’t have been into Hibiki’s genre of music so he didn’t realise he was actually talking to Hibiki Otonokoji. However, he was appreciative of Hibiki’s advice on the matter, and given that Sayaka would be in his class, someone who Hibiki has great respect for, she would be able to set him straight on the matter. When Hajime and co go back to school for their second semester, Hibiki, living alone in Hajime’s house decides to make an announcement on Twitter.com that she is still alive and is busy trying to sort her life out, but will go back into music eventually. The response she got was overwhelming positive as all her fans are pleased to see her alive, some apologising to her for any mean comments they might have made about her in the past, and others said they were worried that Kanade might have killed her. This brought Hibiki to tears as it’s not just the love she gets from her friends and lovers, she’s also got support from her fanbase. Her new emotional maturity is put to the test when Hajime loses his second life because a certain controversial Neurologist decides to test his time travel theory by killing him and Umeko, and of course the pain and trauma that comes from seeing a beloved friend’s dead body and himself getting stabbed. I don’t think the old Hibiki would have been able to comfort Hajime but this new and improved Hibiki was definitely able to comfort and calm him down. She’s not 100% mature yet as at one point she offers to lose her virginity to him, and despite certain lemony Anons wanting to see some spicy action, Hajime was like ‘No, just no’ and stated that no sexual matters will take place until they become 18, which in Japan is the legal age of sexual consent, and protection will be used.

Hibiki’s new fighting prowess had two intense trials throughout Session 2. The first is in Hide and Seek when she had to fight against Monaca’s robots. While she had the option of either joining Chiaki’s group in stopping Monaca from aging herself to death, or joining Hajime’s group in taking down Genocider Syo, she decided that she didn’t want to take on another serial killer, especially after being told that unlike her sister, Genocider Syo actually has some teeth to her and not just that one sprite of hers, and besides, Monaca is hellbent on making herself a adult and given her prowess in robotics, the likelihood of Team Monaca having to fend off robots are high and that group didn’t have a lot of fighters on them. She was able to seriously do a number on the robots, seeing as Chiaki and Emma get seriously injured at various points, Sora is more or less nullified due to the Anti A.I. Black boxes and Kyoji isn’t really a fighter, making her the main fighter on the team. Though like everyone, she is angry that they failed and Monaca is now a biological teenager, though thankfully not that deformed or dead, and that Emma’s and Chiaki’s injuries were for nothing. This again also showed how much she matured as while angry about it, especially about the fact that the aged-up Monaca is again taller than her, cursing her to always be the shortest female, she didn’t get too angry about it as Monaca clearly regrets her decisions and it’s a product of being in a very unhealthy environment and now that she is under Kyoji’s care, it’s not going to happen anymore.

But of course, the biggest test for her was in Twisted Sister, when Kanade was released from prison by Juu and via the aid of a mysterious person who might be a time traveller but one with darker goals then Hajime and co, was giving serious weaponry, technology and combat prowess. With this she was able to tear a bloody path through the Hope’s Peak halls and decimate any Hope’s Peak people who gets in her way. Upon finding out that her sister has broken free from prison and is on her way to ‘reclaim’ her, Hibiki’s first thoughts was to get some armour and then charge in to attack Kanade and just in time as she managed to incapacitate a grief stricken and enraged Nikei, and had just recharged herself with some Red Bull X. Not only is Kanade her own twin sister who she has zigzagged between being utterly terrified of to blaming herself for the monster she turned out to be, but thanks to the upgrades she became an equal match to Hibiki. In addition, this also says a lot about Hibiki herself because Kanade had advanced weaponry, dosed up on an addictive that could kill sleep for a week, advanced armour AND was able to defeat Sonia, Akane, Nekomaru AND Peko who all ganged on her with little to no effort, and yes she had been weakened by Nikei beforehand but said addictive rendered most of his attacks moot point, and despite ALL of that, Hibiki was able to equal with her and eventually with the help of Hajime, finally defeat her. And I didn’t mention the ‘puppet state’ because she never not even once regressed back into that, more or less confirming that is dead. Then again, the ‘puppet state’ may have not that hard to break as Kanade’s main motive for killing Setsuka in SDRA2 is that she could have reversed all the damage that Kanade had done to Hibiki and years of hard work, gone within a few weeks or so. And our lovely ronin sword-wielding vocalist had about 3 months to break the ‘puppet state’. While Kanade’s rampage was eradicated thanks to the third reset, the first one done on purpose, even in the current timeline when Kanade gets beaten deathless, Hibiki was able to knock a gun from Kanade’s hand, throw tear gas in to blind her and direct the rest of Class 77-B, and Juzo, into piling on Kanade and knocking her out, this being the last time we see old Kanade.

But despite all the carnage and pain that Kanade dealt her, there is still a part of Hibiki that cares for her like a sister and wishes for the Kanade she thought she knew back. And she got her chance when Yasuke offered to mindwipe Kanade and turn her into a gentlehearted girl. While the QC were deeply divided on the issue, when Hibiki was offered her input, she said that she was conflicted. Part of her wanted her sister back and Yasuke could quite literally grant her deepest desire at that point, but she is also aware that this is a form of execution, as while physically Kanade is still alive the Kanade that had existed prior to this is dead and never coming back, hopefully. As she isn’t a thinker like some of the QC members and understands the deep moral and ethical divides between them, she decides to hold a vote and whatever wins is the one they go for. Of course, the readers voted for Kanade to be mindwiped, and thus Yasuke got to work remaking Kanade while Hibiki helped to round up the other criminals that got out. I’m not dwelling too much on this as we’ve seen Hibiki’s greatest physical feat already and if she could take out swabs of armed headmen to some traffickers, escaped convicts shouldn’t be hard to deal with. Once the carnage dies down and we move into the Twisted Sister Aftermath Arc, Hibiki is hit with immense guilt. While she is grateful for that the sister she thought she had is back, she also knows what had to be done to ensure this occurs. But now that Kanade is back, she could make amendments as she was a rotten sister to Kanade beforehand and now she could try to reconnect with her, preventing her monstrous self from resurfacing itself. Of course, she has to juggle being with Kanade with also being a member of the Cuddle Puddle and general hero work, but life is never dull when you are with the Quantum Crew.

[cyarskaren52]

Over the course of his career, Heavy D was one of the most consistent hitmakers of his generation. Heavy D & The Boyz made their debut with 1987s Livin' Large, and the crew (which featured DJ Eddie F alongside dancers G-Whiz and the late Trouble T-Roy) would go on a remarkable seven year of gold and platinum hits. T-Roy's death in 1991 shook the group to it's core, but they responded with the platinum-selling Peaceful Journey and refocused for 1992s Blue Funk and 1994s smash Nuttin' But Love. 

In the mid-90s, Heavy began flexing his muscle as a producer, manager and mogul; crafting R&B hits for Soul IV Real and Monifah, while also running Uptown Records and signing seminal Hip-Hop acts like Lost Boyz. And the Heavster dropped his first solo album, the stellar Waterbed Hev, in 1997. 

Heavy D was both beloved everyman and Hip-Hop unicorn; a chart-topping rapper, a brilliant producer, an actor, a labelhead. He was comfortable with Hip-Hop, R&B, reggae and rock—he did it all in his career. He worked with everyone from Flavor Flav to Jay-Z, and helped put Mt. Vernon on the Hip-Hop map. He's been gone since 2011, and Hip-Hop will forever miss the late, great Dwight Myers. Here are 25 of Heavy D's dopest songs. 

#26

"CANDY RAIN" [REMIX] - SOUL IV REAL FEAT. HEAVY D [BONUS SONG]

Our BONUS SONG pick is a celebrated classic guest spot! In addition to exec producing the hit quartet, Heavy D co-produced and showed up to kick a verse on this remix.

#25

"WHO'S THE MAN?"

The standout track from 1992s BLUE FUNK is considered one of Heavy's more hardcore entries, as he kicks shit over a sample of Steve Miller Band's "Fly Like an Eagle."

#24

"YOU KNOW" FEAT. CEE-LO GREEN

Mt. Vernon and the ATL come together, as Heavy D and Cee-Lo team up for this kinetic, percolating track from 1999s HEAVY. The bouncy flow highlights the two stars' unexpected chemistry and Cee-Lo's distinct croon inspires Heavy to get some vocalizing in.

#23

"PEACEFUL JOURNEY"

The title track from 1991s multiplatinum seller features Heavy opening up about the death of Boyz member Trouble T-Roy, as the group salutes their fallen comrade while also bemoaning the state of the world. 

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#22

"MONEY EARNIN' MT. VERNON"

Heavy D & The Boyz broke out of Westchester in the late 1980s and put Mt. Vernon, N.Y. on the map. And they reached back to show love to the hometown that made them on this classic early track. 

#21

"ON POINT" FEAT. EIGHTBALL AND BIG PUN

You may have forgotten that Heavy did a track with the Bronx legend and the icon from Orange Mound; but WE didn't. The obvious overweight gimmick aside, this is one of the coolest, strangest team-ups of the late 90s.

#20

"NO MATTER WHAT"

If there is an overlooked element to Heavy D's legacy, it's how comfortable he was crossing into a myriad of genres. In 2008, the Jamaican son dropped his first and only reggae album. This breezy slice of heaven is a highlight.

#19

"DANCIN' IN THE NIGHT"

Again, Heavy D did his fair share of genre-hopping. On this album cut from 1999s HEAVY, he goes full on into somber, sinister rap-rock. It's the kind of song that wouldn't sound out of place at a seedy strip club in the middle of nowhere. We mean that in a good way.

#18

"A BUNCHA NIGGAS" FEAT. GANG STARR, 3RD EYE, THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G., BUSTA RHYMES AND ROB-O

The title is straightforward and very apropos. A handful of legendary muhfuckas catch wreck on this closing track from 1992s BLUE FUNK. And that's Biggie's first major appearance. How's that for Hip-Hop history?

#17

"TRUTHFUL"

An underrated single from BLUE FUNK, Heavy D & The Boyz sound right at home over the boom-bap production courtesy of Heavy's cousin, Pete Rock. And that's a young Kim Porter in the classic music video.

#16

"GYRLZ, THEY LOVE ME"

Heavy D had no shortage of charm and charisma, and this hit single was another one of the songs that established that persona for the world. BIG TYME saw Heavy & The Boyz sharpen and polish their slick, infectious approach.

#15

"YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT I CAN SEE"

This b-side from Heavy's PEACEFUL JOURNEY era was one of his grimiest at the time, and the guest spot from Flavor Flav (quoting P.E.'s "She Watch Channel Zero?!!?") is the perfect complement. 

#14

"LOVE IN A BOTTLE"

On this underrated track from his final album, 2011's LOVE OPUS, Heavy gets uncomfortably close to the edge; wallowing in as much heartache, pain and alcoholism as an old country singer. 

#13

"KEEP IT COMIN'"

The Gap Band flip is a winner, as Heavy D's WATERBED HEV era is in full force. After a decade in the game, Heavy was still delivering slick radio hits, and Heavy was still Heavy. 

#12

"BLUE FUNK"

When it dropped in 1992, BLUE FUNK was dismissed in some corners as Heavy D's attempt at "going gangsta." it's more truthfully Heavy D & The Boyz delving headfirst into jazzy boom bap; like this classic title track, courtesy of producer Pete Rock.

#11

"GOT ME WAITING" 

Over a stellar flip of the Luther Vandross classic "Don't You Know," Heavy D & The Boyz deliver one of their best 90s singles. Heavy feels like the Hip-Hop descendent of Luther's big loverman spirit, and here, he chides a would-be boo for taking him for granted. 

#10

"MR. BIG STUFF"

His first theme song. Heavy D & The Boyz broke through big in 1987 with catchy hooks, radio-friendly beats, fleet-footed dance moves, and the charisma of their superstar frontman. 

#9

"BIG DADDY"

Heavy D's first solo album showcased his slick, mature approach to loverman rap; and this single was one of his biggest all-time hits. Heavy slid into the shiny suit era staying true to what he did well; and reminding everyone that he pretty much invented smooth R&B-flavored rap hits. 

#8

"BLACK COFFEE"

On this standout from NUTTIN' BUT LOVE, Heavy D & The Boyz offer up a stellar salute to the Black woman. It's one of Heavy's all time best singles and a classic of the mid-1990s.

#7

"NOW THAT WE FOUND LOVE"

When it was released in 1991, the smash hit from PEACEFUL JOURNEY sounded like a cathartic bit of joyful release for a group that had just endured a painful loss. Reworking Third World's classic with Aaron Hall on the hook, Heavy offered everyone a chance to dance thru the grief. 

#6

"DON'T CURSE" FEAT. Q-TIP, BIG DADDY KANE, KOOL G RAP AND PETE ROCK & CL SMOOTH

One of the all-time greatest posse cuts finds Heavy ironically acknowledging his own K-Mart-friendly image while also giving the finger to the idea of censorship. It's sly and inventive—oh, and it features a small cadre of elite rappers going off.

#5

"SOMEBODY FOR ME" FEAT. AL B. SURE

Al B. Sure was at his absolute height when he teamed up with his fellow Mt. Vernon product for this new jack classic. Heavy D & The Boyz were able to secure a place on R&B-dominated urban radio with immaculate hits like this.

#4

"NUTTIN' BUT LOVE"

The title track from Heavy D & The Boyz best-selling (and final) album is a great example of a hitmaker at the peak of his powers. The video is one of the best of the 1990s, as Heavy's charm and a bevy of models guarantee a fun time.

#3

"IS IT GOOD TO YOU" FEAT. TAMMY LUCAS

Heavy D and Teddy Riley made magic together, and this hit from 1991s PEACEFUL JOURNEY is one of the finest examples. Tammy Lucas shines on the hook, as Teddy flips Junior's "Mama Used To Say" in genius fashion, with Heavy slick talking over the smooth groove.

#2

"OVERWEIGHT LOVER'S IN THE HOUSE"

If Heavy D has a theme song, this would be it. The bouncy production courtesy of Marley Marl gives the icon from Mt. Vernon the perfect backdrop to announce himself. A star-making turn for Heavy D & The Boyz.

#1

"WE GOT OUR OWN THANG"

That Teddy Riley groove. That iconic "diddlee-dee" chant. It's a quintessential hit from the Heavster and a timeless slice of late 80s radio rap perfection. Nobody did infectious better than Heavy D & The Boyz, and when they paired with the king of new jack swing, they crafted a smash that encapsulates the era.

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[varsitycult]

Shapeshifting: Solaris and True Alienation

          In Stanislaw Lem’s 1961 novel of the same name, Solaris is an alien planet that “materializes physical simulacra”— any members aboard the space station slowly circling the planet will begin to have interactions with figures from their pasts, those figures that left the greatest impact on their psyches. The ocean itself manifests many forms that fall under different categorization, such as mimoids, symmetriads, etc., which arise mostly as singular architectural feats and ever-evolving foamy, stretchy-then-solid, growing-and-shrinking structures that can be many miles in dimension; those that study these phenomena are called solaricists.            The study of Solaris developed from a more esoteric theorization of what the ocean actually “is”:

“For some time one popular view, eagerly disseminated by the press, was that the thinking ocean covering the whole of Solaris was a gigantic brain more advanced by millions of years than our own civilization, that it was some kind of “cosmic yogi,” a sage, omniscience incarnate, which had long ago grasped the futility of all action and for this reason was simply maintaining a categorical silence towards us.” (Lem)

          This evolved into a decidedly scientific investigation of how Solaris ‘works,’but no matter how many studies were done and how much a desire for First Contact might’ve been present aboard, the ocean didn't attempt to reveal anything about itself — to the crew, it seemingly only sought to essentially conduct psychological experiments on them by creating “empty” doppelgängers of critical figures from their pasts who cannot die.

          The book centers around Kris Kelvin, an at times neurotic, at times deeply detached psychologist. In his youth, he knew and was in a relationship with a young woman named Harey, who ultimately ended up killing herself after Kris ended their relationship and implied she was weak. Once Kris begins seeing, speaking and interacting with the simulacra of Harey, he questions his own sanity, and conducts experiments to prove to himself that he is sane — and when in the lab, realizes the other crew members have done the same. We never learn the details of the other crews simulacras beyond an interaction in the beginning of Kris’ stay, and fleeting glimpses of identifiers — but it is implied that they’re haunting enough to drive the crew to madness and suicide, such as in the case of Gibarian, a former professor of Kris’ and fellow crew member who committed suicide right before Kris arrived on the station.

           Harey is Kris’ appointed simulacra, or shapeshifter, if you will. What is a shapeshifter? Basically an entity with the ability to change into a different shape or form; It can be the act of a human turning into an animal (commonly seen in creatures such as werewolves, vampires and the like); an animal shapeshifting into a person; a person into a plant or object; and on, including gods turning into clouds, gods turning other gods into any myriad of animals or objects, etc. Shapeshifting is key in shamanic practice and totemism, and entails transformation into a different  f o r m, precipitated by an altered state of consciousness within the shaman, aided by substances, rhythmic driving, and the like:

“[S]hamanism and hypnosis … use … the same dissociative state of consciousness, which in shamanism is referred to as the shamanic journey, or ecstatic flight, and in hypnosis is called the hypnotic trance, or simply trance. Neurophysiological and empirical evidence support the view that the shamanic journey achieved without the use of hallucinogenic substances, that is, with the aid of musical instrumentation, chanting, and similar phenomena, elicits the same EEG profile as the hypnotic trance state. In addition, experiential phenomena characteristic of the shaman’s ecstatic flight, such as shapeshifting, contact with imaginal agents, and the like, can likewise be achieved in hypnotic trance” (Walter).

         
 For this entry, shapeshifting is one conscious entity shifting into another entity who is, by necessity, conscious to some degree. We find shapeshifters from stories that span the world and millennia — such as the character of Merlin from Arthurian Legend:

“In the Arthurian cycle, the wizard Merlin enchanted Uther Pendragon, making him look like the husband of Igraine so that she would gladly sleep with him. Merlin knew through augury that this mating would conceive the child who would later become King Arthur. One tool for accomplishing such shapeshifting was the spell known as fith-fath, used to transform one object into another and also to confer invisibility.” (472, Walter)

(I just really enjoy the word fith-fath)

          In the Cherokee tradition, there’s the story of the “Stone Coat,” a monster covered with scaly armor from head to toe who could take human form; Stone Coat ate the livers of his victims while in the shape of an old woman, after puncturing their skulls with a crooked finger (136, Young). Stone Coat took the form of an orphan, who then ate other children’s livers, and was subsequently banned from town. Knowing Stone Coat is approaching, 7 menstruating women lay along the path in wait — he vomits blood crossing them, and, knowing he is dying, asks the people to build a fire and burn him. As he burned, he sang songs, songs that eventually became traditional Cherokee songs; “His death, he said, would unleash disease in the world, but the songs he taught them would cure it.”

          In the case of Old Norse, with regards to Berserkers, shapeshifting more closely approximates a shared state of consciousness generated among animal cultists, leading to murder and rape under the influence of rage:

“It is proposed by some authors that the berserkers drew their power from the bear and were devoted to the bear cult, which was once widespread across the northern hemisphere … To "go berserk" was to "hamask", which translates as "change form", in this case, as with the sense "enter a state of wild fury.”

          In Asia, the kitsune (🇯🇵), huli jing (🇨🇳), or kumiho (🇰🇷) are mythical foxes with 9 tails, that are at least 1,000-years old and have attained the boon of shapeshifting. These creatures are known for turning into young women who eat the hearts or livers of young men. In Korea, the kumiho is always malignant, while the Japanese and Chinese variants are morally ambiguous. Across cultures, if a kitsune can last 1,000 days without killing or eating a human, they can become fully human.

          There are myriad reasons why Solaris is a unique shapeshifter experience, considering shapeshifting so often relies on either mythical entities with mythical powers, or altered states. With Solaris, we have an “entity” who can never be perceived directly, and we never learn how Solaris does what it does — Lem intentionally chose an ocean as to avoid personification and thus satisfaction of “First Contact.” Solaris creates an experience of True Alienation — because Solaris can “[see] into the deepest recesses of human minds and then [bring] their dreams to life,” but the observer knows that wish-fulfillment is impossible, making the experience of Solaris a deeply disturbing one which highlights the limits of our physical systems and of our human comprehension.

          We never come to understand the intent of the manifestations that haunt the crew observing Solaris, though later in the book, Kris ventures out onto the planet itself for the first time ever, after Harey has finally died indefinitely of her own accord; This experience changes his perception of the planet itself, realizing it is actually slightly timid, if not a bit naive, observing and reacting to new information, interacting momentarily with Kris’ hand. In the absence of understanding, there was forgiveness of the planet itself, and the psychological torment endured by Kris and the simulacras.

          Often, whether in literature about shamanic rituals or on galaxy-🧠 backwater forums, you will find discussion of shapeshifting paired with possession. Shapeshifting and possession are parallel phenomena, though possession is internal. Harey is both real and not real simultaneously; Harey knows she is and knows she isn’t; and Harey can never be far away from Kris, at least in the beginning. If Kris is not visible to Harey, she will enter a fugue state until she is reunited with Kris again, at times causing herself fatal physical harm to remove obstacles to him — this possession “reveals” Harey to truly be Solaris itself, her body receiving a hard reset via near-death experiences.

          In the beginning of the novel, Harey has a truly amnesiac response to notions of “the past” — she quickly creates an excuse for her behavior or her origins whenever she materializes on the station. As time goes on, Harey noticeably becomes perturbed by her inability to know herself and comes to realize that she is not “Harey”at all. As opposed to following the natural progression of a developing consciousness, arguably going from tabula rasa “nothing” to “something,” Harey goes from believing she is “something” to knowing she is “nothing,” a figment created by the parsed memories of another living being, in a way mirroring terrestrial Harey’s timeline.

          Solaris functions as the embodiment of what Rudolf Otto called the Mysterium Tremendum et Fascinans; the numinous, the unknown. Under electron microscope examination, blood samples from simulacras are devoid of electrons, instead being composed of neutrinos, and a specialized machine is ultimately needed to kill Harey at the end of the book because of this. Nothing like Solaris has ever been seen before, let alone conceived of by human minds, and when 106 members of the space station die in one freak accident while exploring a spontaneous formation on Solaris long before Kris ever arrives, humans subject it to nukes in “retaliation”. Humans had a stronger desire to destroy the unknown than to allow the unknown to exist at all. But Solaris was seemingly unscathed, and afterwards, public interest in Solaris waned, and the simulacras began to appear onboard the station.

           What makes the unknown of Solaris more exaggerated is its observation, even experimentation, on the crew. It is always learning about You — You cannot learn about It. And we can never know if it is learning from its experimenting, if its experimenting is leading to something, some conclusion, at all. It becomes a true black mirror, reflecting back at the crew that which has psychically harmed or affected them the most to try to understand that hurt, because hurt sticks the most :’ ).

           Very often in shapeshifter stories, the concluding action is to kill the shapeshifter because it is deemed malevolent. Shapeshifting is obscure, it is dark, and it is unknowable except to those shapeshifters with access to it. Shapeshifting physicalizes the Shadow, and conceptualizes the existential chicken-and-egg of knowing decay, death and rebirth are inevitable, just maybe not in the ways we’d hoped — bask in the Shadow and temper the compulsion to kill the darkness.

Bibliography:

Lem, Stanisław. “Solaris,” Walker, 1964.

Walter, Mariko, and Eva Jane Neumann. “Shamanism: An Encyclopedia of World Beliefs, Practices, and Culture,” ABC-CLIO, 2004.

Young, William A. “Quest for Harmony: Native American Spiritual Traditions,” Hackett Pub. Co., 2006.

& Wikipedia lul

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 03/04/2021 (Lil Nas X’s “MONTERO”, Mimi Webb, Russ Millions & Tion Wayne)

So, we have a #1 debut, and that’s pretty much the only story here in the UK Top 75 as we get a filler week before Demi Lovato, Olivia Rodrigo and Lil Tjay run in and cause havoc. As for now, “Wellerman” is replaced at the top by Lil Nas X’s controversial “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)”, spending its first week at #1 after making pretty sudden gains assisted by the video and alternate versions – the mid-week projection had this at #15. Elsewhere, we just see the fall-out from Bieber. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

It’s a quiet week – only seven new entries, and none from Rod Wave, 24kGoldn or AJR as I had predicted. That doesn’t mean there isn’t some stuff to talk about within the chart, or particularly off of the chart, as we have a fair few drop-outs switching their places with returning entries. In particular, we have Justin Bieber’s “As I Am” featuring Khalid being swapped out for “Anyone” at #25, as well as drop-outs for “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence – slightly premature, I’d think – and all of Lana Del Rey’s songs from last week. We also “Anxious” by AJ Tracey, “Heat” by Paul Woodford and Amber Mark and “Toxic” by Digga D exit the chart, but the only real notable loss was “34+35” by Ariana Grande ending its 21-week run on the chart. Returning to the Top 75 in its place – which I cover – we have “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers of course at #73, as well as “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #72, “You’ve Done Enough” by Gorgon City and DRAMA at #70 (really hope this one becomes a hit) and “Don’t You Worry About Me” by Bad Boy Chiller Crew at #66. In terms of climbers and fallers, we do have some notable gains and losses. For songs travelling down the chart, we have “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G tanking a sharp drop in its third week to #18, “Streets” by Doja Cat shaking off the video gains at #22, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo continuing to collapse at #27, another sharp drop for HVME’s remix of Travis Scott’s “Goosebumps” down to #34 probably due to ACR, which was probably the fate for “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #46. The same probably can’t be said for Drake’s losses, as “What’s Next” is at #40, “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” featuring Rick Ross is at #41 and “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby stalls at #55. We also see falls for “Money Talks” by Fredo and Dave at #50, “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey at #51, “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix on its way out at #57, “Headshot” by Lil Tjay featuring Polo G and Fivio Foreign down to #61 off the debut (although it’ll rebound thanks to the album as soon as the next week rolls around), “Ready” by Fredo featuring Summer Walker at #62, “You’re Mines Still” by Yung Bleu featuring Drake at #63 and “Day in the Life” by Central Cee at #69. Where it gets interesting are our gains, such as outside the top 40 with “What Other People Say” by Demi Lovato and Sam Fischer which could very well get even higher next week thanks to the album. We also have “Track Star” by Mooski at #53 off of the debut and a couple of tracks entering the top 40 for the first time, those being “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Giveon at #39 and Majestic’s remix of “Rasputin” by Boney M. at #38. Elsewhere in the top 40, we have “Let’s Go Home Together” by Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan at #13 and two songs marking their first week in the top 10, those being “Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan at #10, a song continuing to sour on me, and “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S, an EDM song at #8 that I initially mocked for its soulless repackaging but has honestly got me pretty hooked since. I’m excited to see how this one does. For now, however, let’s get on with our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#64 – “Cloud 9” – Beach Bunny

Produced by Joe Reinhart

Beach Bunny is a power pop band who last year released their album Honeymoon on Mom+Pop and it’s basically a modern r/indieheads staple in that it’s an accessible, airy pop-rock record fronted by a woman. It’s not anything unique, really, or different if you look further into it but that’s fine because there’s a lot of vaguely “indie” or music snob releases pushed out every year that miss the charts entirely. It’s a different story, however, when a year later, it gets viral on TikTok and streams its way onto the chart. In that case, we have “Cloud 9” by Beach Bunny, a pretty simple but sweet love song about a guy who just makes her feel a lot better about herself in times where she can’t pick herself up from the rut she’s in. Again, it’s a simple track but enhanced by the wonderful and unique vocal performance from front-woman Lili Trifilo and some pretty great production making sure no guitar lick is missed in this mix, especially in that chorus which is such an ethereal blend of the electric guitar dubs. I would argue that this actually should end at that second chorus even if it ends feeling abrupt as the transition to the final chorus feels a lot less cathartic than it does awkward, especially if the bridge is going to be a simplistic, quirky instrumental meander that doesn’t go far enough to be a guitar solo and hence feels kind of like a worthless addition. As is, this is a pretty great song still, just not the most fully realised once it loses that initial tight surf groove, though I’ll let it pass if we’re going to get rock this good on the charts again. I know this won’t really get more traction for Beach Bunny – or power pop for that matter – but more of this, please.

#52 – “You All Over Me” (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault) (Remix) (feat. DaBaby) (Part 2) (Radio Edit) – Taylor Swift featuring Maren Morris

Produced by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner

Sadly, this does not feature DaBaby and is not the remix, radio edit or sequel to any previously released song. Jokes aside, I guess brackets are the next big comeback for pop music, which goes hand-in-hands with remixes and re-releases, hence why Taylor Swift is dusting off this leaked Fearless-era cut for a new recording with country singer Maren Morris, who you probably know from her contributions to Zedd’s “The Middle”. Now whilst Swift is a great songwriter, I do often find myself frustrated by how she treads common ground all too frequently without establishing much different with how a song is structured or how it emotionally connects. This is true not just lyrically but especially sonically as of recent, as despite being written in 2008, it has too much in common with the less interesting cuts off of folklore for me to really care that much. That’s especially if Taylor’s going to undercut the clean acoustic guitars with flourishes of harmonica and crow sound effects, showing some genuine intrigue here before refusing to let any of that develop past a couple stray melodies or notes further back in the mix. I’m trying really hard to be compelled by these re-recordings and re-releases of her back catalogue as I do consider myself a fan, but it’s tough to pay attention when any new compositions we get sound like folklore leftovers with Maren Morris only put to use as decoration, much like HAIM on “no body, no crime” – and we already got an album full of folklore leftovers. I’m not a fan of this, sorry – I can see the appeal, and I do think this has enough of a country tinge to it to make it at least somewhat interesting – but this goes in one ear and immediately out of the other.

#48 – “Tonight” – Ghost Killer Track featuring OBOY and D-Block Europe

Produced by Ghost Killer Track and Kenzy

Screw the formalities and screw the analysis because D-Block Europe are back to add another D-Block to their EU collection – and since they’re Londoners, their only – and that’s Paris, and contrary to the British nature, we’ve let French rap chart in the top 50 out of the fact that they collaborated with two of the most comical rappers in British history. They’ve also linked up with producer Ghost Killer Track, also from France, as this is ostensibly his song even if he intends not to prove himself with this dull piano-based beat and oddly-mastered bass and percussion, which are really just DBE staples. Unfortunately, past the initial comedy of that first line in the chorus, neither Young Adz or Dirtbike LB deliver any stupid lyrics or funny inflections, instead just resorting to being as boring as they can in their constant flexing as possible. I guess the French guy here, OBOY, commands a higher energy in his verse if only through his comical “no, no, no” ad-libs, but he’s the only French speaker in an otherwise basic British trap song that I just cannot see the appeal in when we’ve had song after song from these guys for three years now. This won’t be the last we see of cookie-cutter UK rap this week though so brace yourselves for that.

#47 – “Last Time” – Becky Hill

Produced by LOSTBOY

It’s almost as if the charts are trying to send me off to sleep as here we have Becky Hill, a singer hedging the line between a non-presence and mildly annoying, which is arguably more frustrating than downright infuriating as her slightly smokier voice does not sound bad, just lacking in texture in every way, especially if the multi-tracking is going to be this minimal on a royalty-free deep-house beat produced by Getty Images with a pretty worthless drop, a generic and simple melody of piano stabs for major chords, and a whole bunch of reverb on the vocal take... but it still ends up feeling dry as there’s nothing here to quench that thirst for a tighter, bass-heavy house banger or even a more ethereal, dreamy trance track, deciding to stick to a healthy medium of boring and utter garbage. Yes, that was a singular sentence. I’m not awake enough to form a cohesive sentence less than 40 words long, and this new Becky Hill track is just worsening that if anything. Speaking of...

#21 – “Body” – Russ Millions and Tion Wayne

Produced by Gotcha Bxtch

Who’s Russ Millions? He’s Russ. No, not that Russ. British Russ – or Russ Splash, stylised as Russ splash on Spotify and nowhere else. This confusingly-named fellow appeared on the charts a couple times and possibly most famously with “Keisha & Becky”, a song also featuring Tion Wayne that is referenced on this very track. Sigh, I usually like Tion Wayne but even he can’t be bothered to delivery his usual brand of suave charm or sinister menace, instead opting for a more growling but ultimately completely monotone cadence that doesn’t flatter him or Russ, who one of my friends described as sounding like one of the aliens from Toy Story. This is a pretty by-the-numbers drill beat too, and it’s pretty safe to say that neither Russ or Tion Wayne here are going to bother with wordplay, even when they start pretty smoothly trading bars and Tion Wayne goes for a more unique chopper flow in the second verse. This is just not of any note. Once again, speaking of...

#17 – “Good Without” – Mimi Webb                        

Produced by Freedo

I assumed Mimi Webb debuted this high because of a talent show she won or something because I’d never heard her name but instead, she just happened to have a major label deal before her unreleased song just happened to go viral on TikTok and just happened to be supported by one of the women who just happened to be the biggest creator on the platform. Yeah, and this song just happened to be garbage, suffering from every possible millennial pop trope and then some, from the mix dressed rather too overtly in reverb, the ugly guitar pluck, a generic indie-girl voice that you swear you’ve heard before in one of those dreadful piano covers of popular songs they use in adverts, as well as this ballad being undercut by badly-programmed trap percussion. I can tell this label is trying to create somewhat of an Olivia Rodrigo phenomenon from this and I for one am terrified of the Poundland knock-offs to come. Screw this.

#1 – “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” – Lil Nas X

Produced by Roy Lenzo, Omar Fedi and Take a Daytrip

At least Lil Nas X will bring some passion into this chart week? Well, not really, as when I hear this I recall that Pitchfork review of his EP, a much-maligned critique that featured the ever-so pretentious questioning if Lil Nas X really enjoyed making and listening to music. It reminds me because I think I now fully get it – at least when Lil Nas X was making slap-dash pop rock with Travis Barker or meme-worthy country rap with Billy Ray Cyrus for less than two minutes apiece, there was something invigorating in the execution or at least in concept. That 7 EP is still not a bad debut at all, but this new single “MONTERO”, a long-anticipated record that went from constantly-teased demo to Super Bowl commercial to Satanic-panicked videos of Lil Nas giving Satan a lap-dance to own the conservatives, has the same remote dreariness to it as “HOLIDAY” did late last year. The acoustic, Latin-flavoured guitar loop reminds me of his much better track “Rodeo” from that aforementioned EP that used its energy for similarly lighthearted subject matter but with some genuine energy, a Cardi B feature and a lot less subtle moombahton creeping in. With that said, I can’t say Lil Nas X didn’t try, as his vocal performance, whilst largely insufferable and strained, gives some energy to an otherwise aggravatingly stunted beat, and makes it a lot more infectious than it has any right to be. Content-wise, the song is essentially about a full circle where Lil Nas X becomes increasingly desperate for a man who starts off lonely and in a bad place, and the irony is that Lil Nas gets more explicitly sexual and crazed due to a combination of the LA life-style surrounding him and the fact that he’s simply, for lack of a better term, “down bad”, despite the fact that this guy doesn’t seem particularly desirable. Lil Nas knows this, though, and acknowledges it in the pre-chorus where he outright says that this guy is living the cocaine-addled celebrity life, but not living it right without Mr. Bullriding and Boobies in his life. I’m happy about the video and the outrage it seems to cause not just within conservative spaces but also amongst the hip-hop community, particularly Joyner Lucas, and I’m pretty happy with how out and proud Lil Nas X is about his sexuality, even if it leads to lines like “Shoot a child in your mouth while I’m ridin’”. I’m just really not a fan of this song past its content, which could really be interesting but falls flat with this plucking production that wastes time in barely two minutes with humming interludes. It’s not bad at all, just not for me.

Conclusion

And that concludes our week, and wow, what a bad week this was for new arrivals. Admittedly, it’s a filler week so only “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” will probably last – or at least we can hope as even if I don’t like the song, I still have to give out an Honourable Mention to someone, and it may as well be Lil Nas X trying to put the effort in. Best of the Week easily goes to Beach Bunny for “Cloud 9”, far and away the only good song here, with Worst of the Week also going out pretty easily to Mimi Webb’s “Good Without”, which is the type of soulless, unmemorable garbage that makes pop music look uninspired, and as a person who writes about the charts constantly, it’s a misconception I don’t want proven or revisited. Dishonourable Mention is a toss-up but I guess I’ll give it to Russ Millions and Tion Wayne for that sprinkle of drill disappointment that is “Body”, and that’ll be it for this week. I predict some impact from Demi Lovato, Lil Tjay and especially Olivia Rodrigo next week, but for now, here’s our top 10:

Thank you for reading – sorry for the grouchiness on this one – and I’ll see you next week!

[argent-vulpine]

The Queen’s Scheme(r)s

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Rating: G

Characters: Yuri/F!Byleth/Claude, feat. Judith, Lorenz/Leonie

Chapter Four: The Progress Begins

Read it on AO3

Claude had needed to return to Almyra, leaving Byleth and Yuri in Fódlan to keep on top of things there. He had only been gone a week and she missed him terribly; even Yuri seemed to be moping about a little bit. But, she had a country to run and a church to reform. Sitting idle was not something that she could afford.

“How are repairs to the township progressing?” she asked Seteth on their morning walk around the monastery. Yuri trailed along behind them, ever watchful.

“Hmm… all of the common buildings have been restored. The bathhouse is operational again.” He shuffled a few papers, frowning down at them until he found the one he wanted. “The tavern owner says that he’s stable enough to open back up, and he can use the income to repair the rest. Same with the inn-keep. We’ve employed at least one member from every willing household and are providing them a stipend that is… sizable enough to assist with reparations to their homes.”

She nodded, glancing behind her to see Yuri’s smirk. That had been his idea; Abyss had grown a bit more crowded due to lack of housing in the above. He’d reasoned a lot of them would return home if they had a home to go back to. And if meant getting them solid work? All the better.

Not, of course, that he would ever admit to being that kind of soft.

Rubble from the war had been cleared out, finally, the largest pieces being reused for the streets or buildings where possible. The fields were flourishing, the waters brimming with fish. Things at Garreg Mach, at least, were going smoothly.

“Yuri and I will be going on a progress of Fódlan,” she said almost absently, biting back her smile when Seteth nearly choked. “I trust you to keep matters here going smoothly, and we’ll of course give you our planned route. But I want to see how the rest of the country is faring, make sure that reparations are going as smoothly elsewhere.”

“You have people overseeing that…”

“I do, but I want to see for myself.” She stopped, causing him to, as well. Yuri came up behind her, silent reinforcement. “Seteth, I will not be the same kind of Archbishop that Rhea was. I’ll not be locked away behind these walls. The people of Fódlan need to see me. I am their queen, not just their Archbishop.”

“Besides, how can I make policies for the good of all Fódlan if I’m not out there seeing what people really need? What they want?”

There was a long silence before he sighed, bowing his head slightly in defeat. “You’re right, of course. Rhea… was trying to control the people to prevent another Zanado, but in the process…”

“We’ll do better. We have to do better.”

He nodded. “As long as I have your itinerary. When are you leaving?”

Yuri gave a polite cough behind her; Byleth grinned broadly, over-sweet. “Tomorrow.”

Seteth was a good friend, but he was also so, so easy to tease.

Their first stop, as it turned out, was Derdriu and the former Leicester Alliance. Judith met them on the steps of the von Riegan estate, having been warned of their arrival some days ago. She grinned broadly upon seeing the pair, ushering them inside. “Nader had to go back to Almyra, what with being Claude’s official Almyran retainer or something,” she said by way of greeting. “So it’s been just me and the staff for the last week or so, until yesterday when the first of your guests arrived.”

Honestly, Byleth didn’t even need to be told who it was. She already suspected.

And, upon turning the corner into the sitting room, her suspicions turned out to be correct. At least there were enough cups for everyone.

“Don’t you dare address me by any titles when we’re in my own home,” she began, waving him to silence as he stood.

Lorenz spluttered for a moment, looking affronted. His noble upbringing was at odds with her command, but ultimately, Byleth won out. She was queen (and archbishop) after all. He settled for giving her a perfunctory bow, instead. “I hope your travels were easy, You-… uh… Byleth.”

“Easy enough, at any rate. I see tea has already been prepared. Your doing, Lorenz?” she asked with a smile, gratefully accepting assistance from one of the staff as they helped her shrug out of her traveling coat. It was whisked off to who-knew-where as she approached the table.

Five settings. “Oh, what’s this? Is Leonie joining us, then?” Lorenz gave an embarrassed cough, a flush spreading across his cheeks.

“I’ll go meet her at the door,” announced Judith. “Can’t have that lot of hers getting rowdy on the front stoop, can we?”

Yuri took over for the maidservant, pulling out Byleth’s seat for her and ignoring the fond eyeroll she gave him as he took his own chair. “I’m gonna have to tell Balthus he owes me 50 gold,” he said with a sly grin. “He thought for sure it would be another year.”

That set Lorenz off to spluttering even more, the two exchanging thinly veiled and oddly friendly barbs at each other.

“Here she is!” came Judith’s call, echoing a little through the halls. “Just this way, Leonie,” she was saying, directing the younger woman through the house.

“Oh, Byleth! Sorry I’m late, we were farther afield than I expected to be.” She came into the room, stopping long enough to give the tiniest of bows just so that the servants wouldn’t have anything to gossip about. Not that they weren’t already used to Claude.

For her part, Byleth had to hide her grin behind her hand when Leonie marched over to Lorenz and gave him a very sound kiss.

“I hope you weren’t waiting too long,” the red-head said after, waving off Lorenz’s attempts to stand in order to pull out her chair. The gesture called attention to the ring on her finger.

“Dear, you’d better tell Balthus he owes you double.”

“Ooh, what did you bet on?!” Leonie asked excitedly, leaning forward in her seat. Beside her, Lorenz gave a pitiable groan.

Yuri laughed outright, and began explaining the details of the bet, much to Lorenz’s chagrin and Leonie’s absolute delight. That conversation took them through the steeping of the tea, when things calmed down and they turned their conversation to more serious matters, such as the state of the former Alliance, how the nobles were settling into their new roles, and how restorations were going.

It turned out that Leonie had accepted Lorenz’s proposal – which had been something of a surprise even to him – but had point blank informed him that she would be taking over Jeralt’s old mercenary band. They’d accepted her into their ranks easily, giving way to her leadership without a hitch. For her part, she’d turned them into something of a bandit-hunting unit, dealing with vagabonds and thieves.

Some of the people they’d dealt with had elected to join the group, bolstering the ranks.

The fact that Lorenz hadn’t made much of a fuss showed how much he really had changed. Byleth hid her smile behind her teacup, glancing over at a smirking Yuri. She’d made a good decision, then, forcing his father to abdicate in his favor.

Not that Lorenz would ever need to know that’s what had happened.

“We’ll be spending a week here, making sure everything is going smoothly. I’ll have a day in Derdriu specifically for petitions from the people. Lorenz, I’m trusting you to get that organized. I don’t want nine different audiences for the same exact petition,” she said with a groan. “Make sure they’re all grouped together. Have them pick out a spokesperson, if possible.”

“Leonie, if you don’t mind, I’d like to hire the crew as extra security. I know there’s already criers in the city announcing the forum. Ah, and before I forget, you’re both formally requested at Garreg Mach in three months’ time. The invitations are in my bag; I’ll get them to you later today.”

If only all her meetings could be as relaxed as this. The conversation shifted again, away from official business. Leonie and Judith began exchanging stories from the battlefield, with Yuri and Byleth and even Lorenz occasionally piping up with stories of their own.

Eventually, Lorenz and Leonie excused themselves, promising to rejoin them later in the evening for supper. Judith also took her leave, having correspondence she needed to see to, which left Yuri and Byleth finally alone (alone enough, at least) so that they could unpack their things and freshen up for the evening.

They knew to take their moments of peace when they could; the next few weeks would be rough in many ways.

[blackkudos]

Melle Mel

Melvin Glover (born May 15, 1961), better known by his stage name Melle Mel and Grandmaster Melle Mel, is an American hip hop recording artist who was the lead vocalist and songwriter of Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five.

Early life

Melvin Glover was born in The Bronx, New York City, New York.

Career

Glover began performing in the late 1970s. He may have been the first rapper to call himself MC (master of ceremonies). Other Furious Five members included his brother The Kidd Creole (Nathaniel Glover), Scorpio (Eddie Morris), Rahiem (Guy Todd Williams) and Cowboy (Keith Wiggins). While a member of the group, Cowboy created the term hip-hop while teasing a friend who had just joined the US Army, by scat singing the words "hip/hop/hip/hop" in a way that mimicked the rhythmic cadence of marching soldiers.

Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five began recording for Enjoy Records and released "Superrappin'" in 1979. They later moved on to Sugar Hill Records and were popular on the R&B charts with party songs like "Freedom" and "The Birthday Party". They released numerous singles, gaining a gold disc for "Freedom," and touring. In 1982 Melle Mel began to turn to more socially-aware subject matter, in particular the Reagan administration's economic (Reaganomics) and drug policies, and their effect on the black community.

A song "The Message" became an instant classic and one of the first glimmers of conscious hip-hop. Mel recorded a rap over session musician Duke Bootee's instrumental track "The Jungle". Some of Mel's lyrics on "The Message" were taken directly from "Superrappin'". Other than Melle Mel, no members of Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five actually appear on the record. Bootee also contributed vocals (Rahiem was to later lip sync Bootee's parts in the music video).

"The Message" went platinum in less than a month and would later be the first hip-hop record ever to be added to the United States National Archive of Historic Recordings and the first Hip Hop record inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame. Mel would also go on to write songs about struggling life in New York City ("New York, New York"), and making it through life in general ("Survival (The Message 2)"). Grandmaster Flash split from the group after contract disputes between Melle Mel and their promoter Sylvia Robinson in regard to royalties for "The Message". When Flash filed a lawsuit against Sugar Hill Records, the factions of The Furious Five parted.

Mel became known as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the leader of the Furious Five. The group went on to produce the anti-drug song "White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)". An unofficial music video starred up-and-coming actor Laurence Fishburne and was directed by then-unknown film student Spike Lee). The record was falsely credited to "Grandmaster + Melle Mel" by Sugar Hill Records in order to fool the public into thinking Grandmaster Flash had participated on the record.

Mel gained greater fame and success after appearing in the movie Beat Street, with a song based on the movie's title. He performed a memorable rap on Chaka Khan's smash hit song "I Feel for You" which introduced hip hop to a wider and more mainstream R&B audience. Grandmaster Melle Mel & The Furious Five had further hits with "Step Off", "Pump Me Up", "King of the Streets", "Jesse", and "Vice", the latter being released on the soundtrack to the TV show Miami Vice. "Jesse" was a highly political song which urged people to vote for then presidential candidate Jesse Jackson.

In 1988, after an almost 4-year layoff, Mel and Flash reunited and released the album On The Strength, but with up-and-coming new school artists such as Eric B. & Rakim, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Public Enemy, Boogie Down Productions, and Big Daddy Kane dominating the hip-hop market, the album failed miserably. Mel performed with The King Dream Chorus and Holiday Crew on "King Holiday" aimed at having Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday declared a national holiday. Mel also performed with Artists United Against Apartheid on the anti-apartheid song "Sun City" which was aimed at discouraging other artists from performing in South Africa until its government ended its policy of apartheid. Mel ended the decade by winning two Grammy Awards for his work on Quincy Jones' Back On The Block and Q – The Autobiography of Quincy Jones albums.

In 1996, Mel contributed vocals to the US edition of Cher's hit "One By One". Their version is only available on the maxi CD format.

In 1997, Melle Mel signed to Straight Game Records and released Right Now, an album which features Scorpio (from the Furious Five) and Rondo. This album took more of a harder rap style. It barely sold at all in the US and the UK.

In 2001, under the name Die Hard, he released the song "On Lock" with Rondo on the soundtrack of the movie Blazin. Die Hard released an album of the same name in 2002 on 7PRecords.

On November 14, 2006, Mel collaborated with author Cricket Casey and released the children's book The Portal In The Park, which comes with a bonus CD of his rapped narration. It also features two songs, "World Family Tree" and "The Fountain of Truth", by a then unknown Lady Gaga performing with Mel. The book was re-released in 2010. Also in 2006, Melle Mel attended professional wrestling school. In 2007 (at age 45), he stated in an interview with allhiphop.com that "I'm going to try to take some of John Cena's money and get with WWE and do my thing".

On January 30, 2007, Mel released his first ever solo album, Muscles. The first single and music video was "M3 – The New Message". On March 12, 2007, Melle Mel and The Furious Five (joined by DJ Grandmaster Flash) became the first rap group ever inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In his acceptance speech, Mel implored the recording industry members in attendance to do more to restore hip hop to the culture of music and art that it once was, rather than the culture of violence that it has become. He added, "I've never been shot, I've never been arrested, and I've been doing hip hop all my life. I can't change things all by myself. We need everybody's help, so let's do it and get this thing done."

On October 10, 2008, Mel appeared on Bronx-based culinary adventure show Bronx Flavor alongside host Baron Ambrosia. In the episode "Night at the Bodega", he appears as a spiritual mentor to sway the Baron from his over-indulgent ways and get him on the right path to success.

In April 2011, it was revealed that he would take part in a new hip hop/pro wrestling collaboration, the Urban Wrestling Federation. Its first bout "First Blood" was recorded in June 2011.

Mel also appeared in Ice-T's 2012 hip hop documentary Something from Nothing: The Art of Rap.

In August 2015, Mel appeared with Kool Moe Dee and Grandmaster Caz in Macklemore and Ryan Lewis's song and music video "Downtown".

In May 2016, Mel and Scorpio, performing as Grandmaster's Furious Five ft. Melle Mel & Scorpio, released their single "Some Kind of Sorry".

Discography

Albums

1982 The Message (with Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1984 Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five (a.k.a. Work Party)

1985 Stepping Off (as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five)

1988 On the Strength (with Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1989 Piano (as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five)

1997 Right Now (as Grandmaster Mele-Mel & Scorpio)

2001 On Lock (Grandmaster Melle Mel & Rondo as Die Hard)

2006 The Portal In The Park (as Grandmaster Mele Mel with appearances by Lady Gaga)

2007 Muscles (as Grandmaster Mele Mel)

2009 Hip Hop Anniversary Europe Tour (as Grandmaster Melle Mel)

Singles

1979 "We Rap More Mellow" (as The Younger Generation)

1979 "Flash to the Beat (as Flash and the Furious 5)

1979 "Superrappin'" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1980 "Freedom" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1980 "The Birthday Party" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1981 "Showdown" (as The Furious Five Meets The Sugarhill Gang)

1981 "It's Nasty (Genius of Love)" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1981 "Scorpio" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1981 "The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1982 "The Message" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1982 "Message II (Survival)" (as Melle Mel & Duke Bootee)

1983 "New York New York" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1983 "White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)" (as Grandmaster & Melle Mel / Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five / Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel)

1984 "Continuous White Lines" (Remix – as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five)

1984 "Jesse" (as Grandmaster Melle Mel)

1984 "Beat Street Breakdown" a.k.a. "Beat Street" (as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five)

1984 "Step Off" (as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five)

1984 "We Don't Work for Free" (as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five)

1984 "World War III" (as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five / Grandmaster Melle Mel)

1985 "King Of the Streets" (as Grandmaster Melle Mel)

1985 "Pump Me Up" (as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five)

1985 "Vice" (as Grandmaster Melle Mel)

1985 "The Mega-Melle Mix" (as Melle Mel)

1988 "Gold" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1988 "Magic Carpet Ride" (as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1994 "Sun Don't Shine in the Hood" (Split 12" single with "Da Original" as The Furious Five)

1995 "The Message 95" (Remix – as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five

1997 "The Message" (Remix – as Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)

1997 "Mama" (as Grandmaster Mele-Mel & Scorpio)

1997 "Mr. Big Stuff" (as Grandmaster Mele-Mel & Scorpio)

2003 "Where Ya At?" (as Melle Mel)

2007 "M-3" (as Grandmaster Mele Mel)

2011 "Markus Schulz Presents Dakota feat. Grandmaster Mele Mel & Scorpio" – Sleepwalkers

2016 "Some Kind of Sorry" (as Grandmaster's Furious Five Ft. Mele Mel & Scorpio)

Collaborations

1984 "I Feel for You" by Chaka Khan

1986 "MC Story" by MC Chill and Emanon (The Baby Beatbox)

1986 "Susie" by Emanon

1986/87 "Who Do You Think You're Funkin' With" — collaborating with Afrika Bambaataa

1989 "What's the Matter with Your World?" (with Van Silk)

1996 "What Order" (with Keith LeBlanc)

2005 "RSVP" (with Nikkole)

2008 "Hip Hop Fantasy" by Chutzpah - for the track Bizness.

2009 "Electro Soul Satisfaction" — collaborating with Mic Murphy of The System