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iicarused · 9 months ago

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More on that whole Alastor having a spouse thing (spoilers for ep5).

A dynamic I've had rotating in my mind is of Alastor having a partner who died and went to hell with him. They represent the stereotypical couple from their time and all around are just happy, despite being in hell. Before they died Al's darling helped him cover up his crimes. Being his alibi, lying to people and cleaning up any messes he might have accidentally left behind. Even on occasions helping him cook or even back using the meat he hunted for. And when they both eventually kicked the bucket they held those values as they did when they were alive.

From an onlookers perspective they come off as a couple who's madly in love with one another, still holding that adoration towards each other through the decades they've been together. They dance together, they hold hands, they kiss… But it's not love. Ok, let me rephrase that for you. They gouge out other people's eyes out of jealousy, they pick their next victims together, they have eachothers back through thick and thin. It's not love, it's deeper.

The thing about those two is that no one can really understand them, as cheesy as that sounds. It gives them a sense of solidarity, that there is no one else for them because there is no one else like them. They are the only ones they would consider… Equals. Heh, one of the reasons why they're so intertwined with each other is because they're both just so terrible. His darling spouse just seems more negotiable, but their passiveness is a ruse. Coming of as motherly/fatherly (whatever the gender neutral term is) easily reeling in any weak minded sinners. Their diabolical antis have Alastor weak. HAH, the demon/angel, whoever has Alastor on contract wishes they had this amount of power over him because he, is, whipped.

Oh, and we can't forget the hotel's residents finding out about Al's little darling doe. Either it was Alastor who mentioned them or Mimzy did through her retelling of how Al rose to power. Or they already meet them (Husker, Niffty), but nevertheless the crew has only heard good things about you. Much to their surprise considering how self centered the dear demon is, while Vaggie is weirded out by this her girlfriend is happy and wishes to meet them someday/night. And when they do meat? They weren't very surprised, they kinda already had an image of who they were due to Alastor's ramblings.

Holding you close he kisses your neck where the burn marks are most visible. You can feel his everlasting smile tugging into a frown against your skin, the mere thought of you taking your own life still makes him sick. How afraid you must have been without him. You lean back cupping his cheek with your hand looking deep into his sorrowful eyes. An unfamiliar look for the usually dapper man, it didn't suit him.

“There's no need to get so worked up over old scars dear, I don't, so why should you? Besides, I'm here now aren't i?”

At your words the radio demon saged and let out a content sigh, his lovely smile returning.

“Your right” he said, kissing the inside of your palm before returning back to snuggling with his lover.

…

I can't imagine the reader not having a twang to their voice, their own vibe, not radio per say but something like from this youtube clip. It probably wouldn't make sense for them to sound like that but I couldn't get it out of my head.

If there's one thing I love , it's when others explore the relationship between the two individuals before they went six feet down under. And one of those versions that i quite enjoy is Deer Dolly by ohproserpine check em out. And also, Where do I begin? on ao3 (be warned, for there is implication of SA in it, nothing too graphic but still, protective Alastro being protective, love it).

I think the appeal of Alastor was how different he was (except for in the creepy ass twink department, we've got plenty of those). Mainly in the way he was presented. “a show made independently, and the voice actors are making streams talking in their characters voices? Ö”. And everyone just ran with what they had, we were given just enough to fall for the colorful cast, enough to make fan content before the pilot was out. Like the dad jokes, fan animations, Alastor saying darling~ and the many accounts of them flustering Ashley, among other things :) (all the letters are links, haven't seen some of these in years dafuq). I'm surprised that not many people use what they said in the streams in their writings, I'd wish to see more of that. There's some real gold in there to be utilized.

But anyways, back to the topic at hand. There's always been one song I've associated Alastor with, since I was like 15 to16 years old, and it's something has to happen. Can't help but imagine a chase sequence whenever I listen to it, and I recently found some more inspiration in the form of this! and that.

He could smell the fear radiating from his prey, they ran with haste, trying to put distance between them and their pursuer. The demon chuckled to himself at their persistence. Such a lively prey they were, truly, he couldn't wait to hold them close to his chest, to trap them in the grip of his teeth, tearing tissue and bones in his jaws. Oh He loves them, he hunts them.

…

Man, I remember back in the day there were so many stories revolving around Alastor appearing in the living world to torment his darling, or to make a meaningful connection with them. But I've never seen one where his darling is his accomplice, helping him spread his “curse” onto unsuspecting victims. I got this idea from this piece of artwork by lanveril.

i remember the days of that too! it was such a great time of alastor and obsession fics yknow, but also small??? since it was just the pilot and we had a lot to toy around with. but you are so right about him and his s/o being a cheesy couple.

the sweetest couple on the block who seem very normal and overall a prime example of love. “darling, i have the meat!” and you would beckon him in the kitchen with a sweet smile so you could prepare it.

i think he would be a cliche husband, but also one who enjoys a little rough housing form time to time.

i had to gatekeep this ask for awhile mb LMFAOO i loved it so much😭

#★*#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader

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trapastrology · 3 months ago

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Venus-North Node Synastry

~Using Jamie and Landon from "A Walk To Remember"~

Song that corresponds- Teach Me by Musiq Soulchild

Venus-North Node synastry is without a doubt one of my most favorite synastry placements. Especially when it’s sextile! Jamie and Landon show how this synastry plays out very well. Jamie is Venus while Landon is North Node. As we can see they come from two different worlds, have 2 different mindsets, morals etc. Jamie is still in his South node when he meets Jamie so he exhibits those traits. In the beginning of this synastry the venus person is unknowingly helping the north node person get closer to where they need to be simply by saying/doing things that they normally do. At first, the NN person is pulling back a lot. Like him not wanting to be seen with her, calling her interests stupid, and hanging with the popular crowd etc. But that soon changes the more her venus influences his NN. Venus unconsciously inspires the NN person to want to be a better them and often pick up a lot of hobbies/interests that Venus is interested in. Venus exposes them to new things that they never knew of that’s a part of Venus's daily life. North Node becomes more artistic and peaceful, less stubborn, improving oneself and realizing that they have someone they can be vulnerable with. Venus has the natural ability to put NN at ease, they’re like the breath of fresh air that nn so desperately needed. They’re like the missing component to life that nn didn’t even know they were missing. As a result of Venus’s presence, NN person now has more self-confidence and believes in themselves and what they can do. A creative bug they’ve never had suddenly won’t stop biting them. Usually picking up the exact same or similar hobby that venus has and loves. Their life that once had no direction becomes very clear now and Venus is usually in the center of it. There’s mutual support, great communication, shared values (that were once very different), personal growth and great conflict resolution. Here the North Node person and The Venus person evolve together! The Node Node is usually more drastic and apparent to others. However, Venus’s perspective on love and relationships changes a lot here and they feel very fulfilled by the person the NN has changed into. This is a love that stands the test of time more often than not. I’d say their Venus & NN was in earth signs being that they both brought each other a sense of comfy stability and helped each other complete their life's goals.

Quotes from the Movie that are true to this synastry…

~~~~~~~

“Landon, look, I thought i saw something in you, something good, but i was very wrong” -Jamie This is usually how the Venus person feels when the NN person isn’t accepting but instead afraid of the change they feel venus invoking. Causing them to act out in many ways then hurting the venus person.

“You don’t know what you want” -Jamie In the beginning the NN person actually is clueless as to what they want in life and the direction they're going to take.

“She makes me want to be different, better” -Landon Venus, without trying, inspires the NN person in many ways to want to be better and improve themselves. They may also look up to the Venus person in some way or want to know that they are proud of them and who they’ve become.

“Maybe you inspire me” -Landon

“She’s the best person I’ve ever known” - Landon More often than not and depending on other aspects, the north node person feels this way.

“Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead.”- Landon

“I hadn't done any of the things that I normally did with girls, yet somehow I'd fallen in love.”-Landon This is very common in this synastry. Even down to venus not being NN’s type. Yet somehow the north node feels things for this person they’ve never felt with anyone before.

“Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t treated Jamie the way I should’ve. She deserves more than that. I’m just asking you for the same thing that you teach us every day in church. And that’s faith.” -Landon The response I wrote for the first quote applies here. As well as NN realizing their mistakes and wrong doings from embodying their SN and doing the best they can to do right by the Venus person.

Thank you for reading, if you’d like to book a reading, join my Patreon or know more about my e-book, “Written in the Cosmos” check my pinned post!

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openphrase123 · 3 months ago

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so i've got three fics that are in what i call "long outline" stage, where a couple chapters are written and the rest is all/mostly plotted out. when i'm done with curtain call i'll probably wait a month or so and then start posting one of them but i Cannot Decide which one to start with. i want to write all of these at some point but i need a Starting Point. please advise. i have decision fatigue

i elaborate on all the options below so if you need to be Sold on any of these keep scrolling. but also if you want maximum chaos and surprise just vote without expanding >:3

no nuance button no chef's choice button. if the chef had a choice he would have choosened it by now. i'm Indecisive please help

propaganda for all the options under the cut

the 20 years later fic is so messy i can't overstate it. i mean that in a good way. very popcorn drama. siffrin and loop haven't seen each other in 20 years but they need to figure out who in the family is harboring a secret regret that's trapping them in a new loop. everyone's over their problems from canon but i give them all NEW problems like osteoporosis and work-life imbalances. bonnie's the only one who ever went to real therapy in two decades and it Shows

the isabeau timeloop fic is probably the most angst out of the three of these??? but it's not a walking sadfest i know how to balance the vibes. it's not Primarily a romance fic but let's face it gamers. this is an isabeau pov. it's like 40% gay longing and you know this. the other 60% tries to solve the question of "would siffrin still be trapped in the loops if they told literally anyone about them at any time" and with the power of miscommunication and self sabotage. i'm pleased to say that answer is YES

the loop one is very prince-and-the-pauper to me. it's set in 1hat in a playthrough of isat that ended on a low loop number. this is both the healthiest and most toxic way for loop to heal postcanon in my heart. siffrin is not here this is NOT about him. he's fine though. it's just that i categorically don't think loop could heal and move on from the loops if siffrin's right over their shoulder being like "hiii do you want to Talk" no you have to TRAP loop into therapy

if you're reading this and going "all of these sound absolutely insane what are you doing" i'm doing My Best <3 all of them have the same general tone as my other fics so if you're like "i like that idea but that sounds too depressing" FEAR NOT. it's the exact same amount of depressing as curtain call and/or inutile

#i also realize that there are now THREE fics where i've hit a ship with a beam that makes them act like a divorced couple #but also in 2020 i was very invested in the idea of tom nook and redd being divorced in animal crossing so maybe this is just My Thing #also really funny how loop has a pretty prominent role in all of these after i put them in baby jail for curtain call #posting this Before the cc chapter today so i can link it in the author's notes

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bestworstcase · 7 months ago

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Thanks for your response ala Ruby & Yang, great stuff!

Idle aside, but do you have any thoughts on Yang's role as the sort of black sheep of the family by dint of Raven associations?

Cos like, Tai overtly favors Ruby, projects Raven onto Yang, resents Raven being rough up and is bad enough about reminders of her Yang feels she has to apologize for his negative reactions. Let alone his... Everything else.

Then there's Qrow who doesn't seem to interact with Yang over much at all and one of if not their most major interaction. Involves him straight up saying he thinks she's either a liar hurting people for fun or "crazy".

I recall someone I was chatting with wondering: Imagine doing everything you can to keep your family from breaking apart & being compared to the woman who left you when you were a baby?

Cos I do wonder how Yang feels about all that given she seems to downplay and or try to work around her family's issues when she can. Let alone what it says about the adults in the room.

smth i think about a lot is the way yang’s narrative about her childhood shifts between v2 to v5

’cause in v2 it’s: “it was tough. ruby was really torn up, my dad kind of shut down. it wasn’t long before i learned why…” all to provide context for this anecdote about putting ruby in a wagon and running away to find her mother. and then her conclusion is “my stubbornness should have gotten us killed that night.”

and while there is a degree here of yang framing the story to emphasize the point she wants blake to understand, it’s also very obvious in her delivery that the emotional reality of this memory for yang is “the time my stupidity and stubbornness almost got me and ruby eaten by grimm”—when she was [checks notes] like five, six years old, and regularly left at home unsupervised.

but in v5, it’s: “my mom left me. ruby’s mom left too. tai was always busy with school, and ruby couldn’t even talk yet; i had to pick up the pieces. i had to pick up the pieces. alone.”

aside from the telling slip (tai, not dad)—yang centers her own feelings and the harm this situation did to her this time. which is something she’s always felt but i don’t think she could have brought herself to say it out loud to anyone during the beacon arc, because it was pressed down under the guilt on display in burning the candle, the feeling of having been inadequate and too stubborn and too selfish and and and–

coughs quietly. “my stubbornness should have gotten us killed that night.” / “you were predictable. and… stubborn. and maybe a little boneheaded.” yang’s narrative about the wagon incident—which happened when she was five or six!—pinning the blame on the thing tai imagines to be her fatal flaw is…probably not coincidental. yang in v4 after a year of being loved by her team and supported by mentors like glynda / oobleck / port has the perspective to know that tai doesn’t know what he’s talking about; but as a small child who’d just had a terrifying near-death experience with her baby sister… 😶

it definitely had a big impact on the way yang sees herself

BUT i do read qrow's talk with yang in 3.8 pretty differently ->

because the context is: yang saw mercury attack her and struck back in self defense, then had like a dozen synthetic soldiers point guns in her face, then looked up and saw the replay footage of herself walking over to shoot a boy who was just kneeling on the ground. and some of the most powerful authority figures in the world are pushing this narrative that stress and adrenaline "clouded her judgment."

like this would make anyone doubt their sanity. bc holy shit.

yang, though...a couple weeks ago, yang after being knocked unconscious woke up and blearily saw someone she thought was her mother walk away from her and disappear in a flash of red light. she hasn't mentioned it to anyone, because it's just so bizarre—yang doesn't know about raven's semblance yet—she must have just been seeing things. right?

aside from raven (who isn't here) and yang (who believes she hallucinated), the only other person who knows that yang saw her mom on the train is qrow, because raven told him about it. he also knows that:

tai insisted on not telling yang ANYTHING about her mother, and qrow respected that up until now; so yang doesn't know about raven's semblance and can't make sense of what she saw.

salem's infiltrators are the same people who attacked amber, and qrow didn't get a good look at them because they seemingly vanished into thin air—pretty damn good chance that one of them has a semblance that manipulates what you see.

ozpin wants #2 kept secret, so yang has some very powerful people actively trying to convince her that she's crazy. ironwood is straight up gaslighting her.

qrow also—based on the first thing he says, which is "why'd you do it?"—seems to consider it a possibility that it is what it looked like but yang did have a good reason, and i actually do not think that is an outrageous thing for qrow specifically to think. because qrow was emotionally abused as a child, and he knows yang, and in the event that yang really did suddenly turn around and punch a guy who was kneeling on the ground, why would she do it?

glances at shay d. mann. well. maybe this kid has been harassing her? maybe he said something horrible or threatening to her and in the heat of the moment she just snapped? maybe "he attacked me, i saw him attack me" isn't really a lie per se, she's just scared that "he's been picking on me ever since he got here and he made a disgusting remark and i just couldn't take it anymore" won't be taken seriously? as in, he did attack her—verbally/emotionally.

it's probably worth asking, at least!

so, qrow leads with "why'd you do it?" in case there is some invisible reason justifying the apparent action. yang says "you know why." qrow goes okay, well, i only know what i saw, so you're either lying (i.e., yang had a reason she now isn't telling) or crazy (i.e., yang saw something different from reality that was very real to her).

she says "i'm not lying." qrow believes her: "crazy, got it."

at this point, he knows the most probable explanation is that one of salem's infiltrators fucked with her head. the inner circle's gaslighting doesn't sit right with him; he's not going to buck ozpin by telling her the truth outright, but he wants to make sure yang knows she isn't losing her mind. he also has all the info needed to guess that yang is actually really really scared that she might be crazy.

which is why he kicks off the wall and begins to pace around. the language he uses sounds dismissive, but his tone is mild and his body language implies "let's talk about it, let's figure this out."

leading to:

YANG: Who knows? Maybe I am. QROW: And here I thought your dark-haired friend was the emo one. YANG: I saw my mom. …I- I was in a lot of trouble, took a pretty hard hit. But when I came to, the person attacking me was gone, and I thought I saw… her. Her sword. Like the one in you and dad’s old picture. QROW: You’re not crazy, Yang. That was your mom, alright. Let me guess—she didn’t say a word, did she? YANG: How did you know that? QROW: I don't see my sister very often, but she does try to keep in touch... whenever it suits her. YANG: Wait—you mean you talk to her? That was real!? QROW: Yeah, she found me. Had a tip from my most recent assignment and wanted me to give you a message.

it's really telling that yang responds to him this way. 'cause we've seen how yang acts when she feels dismissed or belittled:

TAI: Well, "normal" is what you make of it. YANG: What is that supposed to mean? Do you want me to just pretend like nothing happened? I lost a part of me. A piece of me is gone. And it's never coming back. TAI: You're right. It's not coming back. But that doesn't have to stop you from becoming who you wanna be. You're Yang Xiao Long, my sunny little dragon. You can do whatever you put your mind to. So whenever you're ready to stop moping, and get back out there? I'll be there for you. YANG: I– I...

she freezes and shuts down! her teachers have to come to her rescue!—but when qrow goes "crazy, got it" and suggests she's being "emo," yang blurts out her big secret. i saw my mom. to me that suggests a level of trust and understanding that isn't there with tai: qrow says stuff like "okay, so you're crazy" and "here i thought your friend was the emo one" but what he means is "hey, i know something's really bugging you, tell me about it," and yang picks up what he's putting down.

it's akin to how ruby goes "did you miss me? DID YOU MISS ME??" and qrow's like "nope" and they both laugh. or the back-and-forth ribbing between him and the girls in 3.4. there's this layer of mild ironic meanness in the way qrow converses with his nieces that all of them are fluent in, and in this scene he's using that mode to signal that "crazy" is not off-limits, that it's okay to talk about openly.

crucially, there's a code-switch in the middle of the conversation: as soon as yang gets real and says "i saw my mom," qrow reflects that seriousness back to her. you're not crazy, that was your mom, she found me afterward and told me about it. it was real. you're okay. qrow's ability to do that—to shift into a more serious mode when irony isn't appropriate—is why yang can have this rapport with him that she doesn't have with tai, because tai isn't... being ironic when he says mean or dismissive things to her.

anyway, qrow passes on raven's terrible message and then kind of annotates it: "raven's got an interesting way of looking at the world that i don't particularly agree with, and she's dangerous." (which is a very diplomatic way of saying he thinks raven is full of shit. lol.) but then he connects this whole conversation about raven back to what happened after the match: "you're a tough egg, kiddo. don't let this tournament thing getcha down. you had a slip-up; sometimes bad things just happen."

implicitly: yang isn't crazy. what she saw on the train was real, a product of raven's personality and her semblance. sometimes bad things just happen. qrow believes that yang had the experience she says she did when she punched mercury. he doesn't know why she had that experience—yang doesn't either!—but he knows she isn't just "crazy." sometimes things that seem crazy are actually real.

remember what he tells the girls in 3.4? "you may be acting like huntresses, but you're not thinking like one." same thing here. he's telling yang, hey, you're not crazy, you know what you saw, but you don't know what or who caused you to see it. "you cut off the head of the king taijitu, but now the second head's calling the shots."

hint, hint.

it's subtler than the hints qrow drops for ruby in 3.12, but very much in the same vein, and yang is plenty smart enough to figure it out. she might... not have? in the couple of hours between this conversation and everything going to straight to hell, but if they'd had literally just one more day, just long enough for the wheels turning in yang's head to click together with what ruby heard from velvet about coco hallucinating during her and yatsu's 2v2 against emerald and mercury, she would've had it.

more... generally, i've never gotten the sense that qrow projects raven's flaws onto yang in the way that tai does; qrow is definitely a lot closer with ruby than yang, but i think that has less to do with favoritism on qrow's part than it does ruby thinking he's like the COOLEST uncle ever and wanting to use a scythe like he does.

'cause like, qrow isn't their parent, he doesn't live with them, he's not responsible for raising these kids like their dad is, so while he obviously did contribute to fucking them both up because: alcoholic, ultimately there just isn't the same degree of betrayal or emotional abandonment; he's not their dad. both times yang talks in detail about her childhood, it's "my mom left, ruby's mom left, tai wasn't really around, ruby couldn't even talk, i was alone"—she doesn't mention qrow. there isn't that deep hurt, that feeling that qrow is someone who left.

when he isn't drunk, yang seems to feel pretty okay around him, and qrow likewise treats her... honestly a lot better than tai does:

he stops by their dorm in v3 to hang out with both his nieces; yang is fully in sister mode—cheers for ruby to beat him until ruby loses, immediately shoves her out of the way like "my turn!! >:D"—and qrow ribs them both, takes ribbing from both of them in good humor, tells both of them "you two are gonna go far."

qrow nicknames to show affection; ruby is "pipsqueak," yang gets "firecracker."

we only see qrow's goodbye to ruby, but in 5.4 yang indicates that qrow came to talk to her before he left, too. she also has complete trust that he's keeping the promise he made to look after ruby.

yang, as noted, opens up to him about seeing her mom; she's also shocked that he's still in contact with raven and indignant that he didn't tell her sooner, but—unlike with tai—she doesn't seem surprised that qrow is willing to talk about raven in general.

which tracks with what tai says in 4.11: "despite asking him numerous times not to, i know qrow told you where you're mother's been at these days"—meaning, this was a point of contention between him and qrow. behind the scenes, while tai refused to discuss raven at all, qrow was going okay well, let me tell her then, she deserves to know. and then ultimately he just bit the bullet and told her behind tai's back. i wouldn't be surprised if it turned out qrow had been straight with yang that her dad wanted to be the one to tell her the important stuff, and he wanted to be respectful of that, but raven wasn't an off-limits topic.

general contrast between yang-tai and yang-qrow dynamics; for example both of them say almost verbatim "you've got a long way to go before you're ready for the real world" (3.4/4.4). from tai it's belittling, he's insulting her; from qrow, it's meant to encourage, it's "remember you're still new to this, you'll make mistakes, just keep learning, keep trying." (rwby does stuff like this all the time, refracting an idea in different directions to highlight contrasts between characters; ozpin's advice to ruby vs port's advice to weiss is another example.)

a lot of qrow's resentment toward raven is centered on her abandonment of yang: "did you know yang lost her arm? [...] rhetorical question, i know you know. it's just obnoxious that you'd bring up family and then carry on like your own daughter doesn't exist. [raven: "i saved her."] once. because that was your rule, right? real mom of the year material, sis." like he is PISSED on yang's behalf that raven won't even try.

my impression is that qrow—although a) often away on long missions in far away places and b) an alcoholic who sometimes got blind drunk and became a burden yang and ruby needed to take care of—when he did manage to be there, made a serious effort to connect with both of them. he ended up being closer to ruby bc she wanted to learn scythe-wielding, but i do think qrow would've trained yang too (or instead) if the girls had different combat interests.

and while his relationship with ruby has a mentorish aspect, i don't get the sense either of the girls see him as a parental figure: he wasn't part of their household, he traveled a lot, his alcoholism in combination with tai's neglect eroded the adult-child boundaries because they had to be responsible for him as often as the reverse. he's a friend who also happens to be related to them. and that's especially true for yang, because he wasn't her teacher.

(i know it's a... pretty common headcanon / fanon that qrow lived with them, but i really don't think that's supported by the text? whenever ruby or yang look back on their childhoods, the family unit is always them + tai, and qrow isolates himself out of fear that his semblance will injure those he cares about. plus ozpin sending him all over the place as the one member of team strq still active. it makes way more sense to think he lived alone, and visited when he had the chance. which is the main reason i'm WAY softer on him than on tai, 'cause qrow wasn't in a caretaker/parent role; at most he was an occasional babysitter. so while his incidents of turning up drunk on the doorstep contributed to the harm... it's like, it would absolutely have been better for them if qrow were sober, but that wouldn't have changed anything about their home life. they'd just have somewhat easier relationships with qrow.)

TO WRAP THIS BACK AROUND TO THE QUESTION, tai is unfairly judgmental and harsh with yang bc he projects his idea of her mom onto her; yang also has a better relationship with her mom's brother than she does with her dad. how do these two dynamics interact? how does yang feel about hearing from tai that she's too branwen, so to speak, while also getting along better with the branwen side of her family? how might that fuel her desire to find raven?

if her uncle treats her better than tai does, then... maybe her mom would too, if only yang could reach her?—obviously it's not rational, but like. i don't think five year old yang put her baby sister in a wagon and ran away to find her mom because she thought she would ask "why did you leave me?" and then get her answer and go home. as yang grew older and developed a more realistic perspective it shifted to "i just need to know why she left" and she projects that backward onto herself as a child, but at the time what she wanted, what she was looking for, was someone who would take care of them.

#never-ending heap of yang thoughts

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merriclo · 1 month ago

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A Quick Analysis of the Tanizaki Siblings

With the release of chapter 118, it’s been officially confirmed that Naomi and Jun’ichirō are not blood-related, seemingly shifting their entire dynamic. this has, of course, resulted in many different opinions and stances within the fandom, and i wanted to share my own thoughts on it.

this post will briefly go over each of their characters and their relationship with each other. later on, i will be making a video essay going even deeper into it, because,, i genuinely can’t stop thinking about this.

content warning for discussions of incest and sexual assault, harassment, and abuse. please please please don’t read if these topics are too heavy for you. take care of yourself. this is also a repost, as the original post didn’t show up in any tags. you can read the original post, alongside a great addition, here!

in order to fully understand them together, we need to establish who they are apart. so, part one of this will be an analysis on Jun’ichirō’s character, part two of Naomi’s, and part three of their relationship.

Part One — Jun’ichirō Tanizaki

(i’ve already discussed a bit of Jun’ichirō’s character in one of my earlier posts, but i wanted to take the time to further elaborate on a few points i made. i wasn’t able to fit some other points in, though, due simply to them not being very relevant, so if you’re curious, go check that one out too!!)

Jun’ichirō is an incredibly fascinating character for multiple reasons. he thinks of himself as incredibly average. I’d like to call attention to this quote in particular. a fact exemplified by this quote:

“…Tanizaki felt he was mediocre at his job, held mediocre principles, and had a mediocre sense of justice, which made him a mediocre human being. He didn’t have the courage to talk back to or stand up to Dazai. Put simply, he was incredibly passive.”

this is found in A Day at the Detective Agency on page 42, a short story detailing how the Armed Detective Agency decided what Atsushi’s entrance exam would be, told through the third person perspective of Jun’ichirō.

these words, these claims of mediocrity, are his own. he truly believes himself to be an average, unassuming member of the agency. in other parts of the story, he calls himself timid (pg 37) and an ordinary guy (pg 54), and says that his smile always lacks self-confidence (pg26.) his genuine opinion of himself is that he’s nothing special.

despite this, we see time and time again that he is a trusted and valued member of the Agency. in the Cannibalism arc, he was left to face the entirety of the Black Lizard all by himself, and prevailed. Even Hirotsu, a veteran of the Port Mafia and leader of the Black Lizard—a man who spends his days surrounded by the most skilled assassins Yokohama has to offer—said that Jun’ichirō was terrifying, and perfectly suited for assassination. this is only exemplified by the fact that he almost succeeded in killing Mori, thwarted only by Kōyō at the last second.

in A Day at the Detective Agency, it’s said that Kunikida needed the help of the best of the best, meaning Him and Naomi (pg 42.) but Jun’ichirō brushes this off, saying that Kunikida only wanted Naomi’s help, but the siblings had become a kind of package deal, and that’s why he was also recruited to help him.

this boy’s esteem is horrifically low, and he refuses to see his own worth, making every excuse there is just to call himself normal. (this is the reason why i honestly view him in A Day at the Detective Agency as a a bit of an unreliable narrator: his own self-perception leads to many false statements, all primarily centered around himself.)

however, we as the audience know that Jun’ichirō is not at all normal. the moment someone he cares for is put in harms way, a switch flips in his mind and he becomes an incredibly dangerous person who will stop at nothing to try and save them. we see this first in chapter four when Higuchi shoots Naomi.

this is also the mindset that he was in when he battled the Black Lizard and attempted to assassinate Mori in the Cannibalism arc, as well as when he faced off against John Steinbeck and H.P. Lovecraft. most recently, this is shown in chapter 117 when Jun’ichirō threatens to rip an actual God (Ame-no-gozen) limb from limb. (i’d add photos of the panels but i have a very limited amount of pictures that i can add!! sorry (′︿‵｡) )

this willingness to abandon any and all morals should his loved ones be put in harms way is a cornerstone of his entire character. So long as it preserves the lives of the members of the Agency, he will do anything. and that isn’t limited to just killing someone, either. without hesitation, he volunteered himself to be the one traded off to the Port Mafia the moment the possibility of Yosano going there was mentioned.

furthermore, in a Bungo Stray Dogs exhibition, Asagiri claimed that Jun’ichirō is the closest to “evil” out of everybody in the ADA (exhibition translation found here!!) (also, it’s so interesting that the translator put sister in quotations. there really has been hints all along!!) this excerpt discusses the scene where Jun’ichirō faced off against John Steinbeck and H.P. Lovecraft, and tricked an innocent trucker into hitting his enemy using his ability Light Snow, causing a crash that the trucker would not be able to escape from unharmed. he did all of this just to ensure the safety of Naomi.

in summary: Jun’ichirō views himself as an incredibly mediocre, insignificant person, and he will do absolutely anything if it means saving his loved ones.

Part Two — Naomi Tanizaki

(warning this analysis is not the kindest to Naomi. if you don’t wanna read that, stop now!!)

Naomi is based off of the main female lead of the irl Tanizaki’s work Naomi—a story where a man tries to turn 15 year old Naomi into a Westernized woman, but ends up getting manipulated by her instead when she changes the power dynamic between them. (there’s.. many aspects of Naomi that i believe impact BSD, but ahajjdkdka that’s for another post.)

Naomi is introduced as Jun’ichirō’s obsessed sister. she is shown to be all over him, touching him inappropriately in public and singing his praises. she’s clingy, and doesn’t leave his side once.

but, there’s a lot more to her if you look closely.

firstly, she is incredibly intelligent. In A Day at the Detective Agency, she conspired with Dazai to cheat her way into being the hostage and Jun’ichirō being the bomber during Atsushi’s entrance exam.

“Startled, [Jun’ichirō] looked over at Naomi, who gazed back at him teary-eyed.

“I just…”

[Jun’ichirō] could see the hearts pulsating in his sister’s eyes. She covered her slightly crimson cheeks with her long, delicate fingers, then said, “I just wanted…to be your hostage so you could tie me up and threaten me, my dear, sweet brother…”” (pg 51.)

then, in the main series, she nearly caught on to the significance of Haruno’s cat, Mii-chan.

keep in mind, she is not one of the detectives. she doesn’t have an ability, and she hasn’t been trailed by Natsume for years like Fukuzawa and Dazai have. despite all of this, she picked up on this weird correlation before even Haruno, his owner, did. and let’s not forget how surprised both Fukuzawa and Mori were at the reveal of Natsume being Mii-chan.

furthermore, in chapter 23, in which Steinbeck and Lovecraft hunt Haruno and Naomi down, it’s shown that she remembered exactly what Dazai told her in regards to how she should act in an emergency situation.

not only did she execute this advice near-perfectly, but she planned ahead in order to do so. in fact, if it weren’t for Steinbeck’s ability, they would have easily gotten away.

Haruno says that she would bet on Naomi outclassing Jun’ichirō as a detective, and i have to agree with her. in A Day at the Detective Agency, Naomi’s little plan that i mentioned earlier went off without a hitch. granted, it was likely Dazai who laid out all the steps, but she executed it without error and fooled both her brother and Kunikida.

Naomi is also a highly trusted employee, despite only working part-time (A Day at the Detective Agency, pg 25.) she’s very close with Fukuzawa, and i’d go so far as to say that she acts as a kind of personal assistant for him sometimes. in chapter 15, she is the only Agency employee present alongside Fukuzawa for the between the ADA and The Guild, a very high-stakes and confidential meeting. she is also the only person to think of getting Fukuzawa in chapter 10 when the rest of the employees are bickering about whether or not they can save Atsushi.

(manga panels provided by the amazing @shin--soukoku !! i wasn’t able to access the English translations of this chapter, and they came to my rescue. thank you!!! <3 go follow them they’re so cool and smart and correct about everything.)

in summary: Naomi is freakishly intelligent, and she’s not afraid to use her wits to manipulate a situation to her advantage. she’s well-respected in the Agency, and has the connections to influence others.

Part Three — Their Relationship

(in this part, i will be discussing topics like incest and sexual assault, harassment, and abuse. if that is at all too heavy or triggering for you, please stop reading immediately. take care of yourself, and stay safe <3)

alright, first things first, let’s establish something: these two are siblings. i’ve seen many people that they are not, but i have to disagree.

not only do they commonly refer to each other as brother and sister, but it’s also up in the air as to whether or not Naomi is even aware of their lack of blood-relation. furthermore, two siblings not sharing any DNA doesn’t make them not siblings. fostered, adopted, and step-siblings are still siblings, and as such i will continue to view the Tanizaki’s as siblings. they see each other as brother and sister, and so that is what they are. their relationship is incestuous.

it is also not consensual.

it is stately clearly several times that Jun’ichirō does not enjoy what Naomi does to him, especially when they are in public. here are just a few examples, taken from the A Day at the Detective Agency short story:

“To make matters worse, [Naomi] always tried to have some sort of physical contact with her brother, regardless of location or who was around…. [Jun’ichirō] would start acting self-conscious every time, and his eyes would wander, but Naomi even seemed to enjoy her brother’s reactions.” (pg 26)

“Naomi softly traced [Jun’ichirō]’s collarbone with her fingernail…. [Jun’ichirō] turned red and blinked uncomfortably.” (pg 26)

“[Naomi had] also taken that as an opportunity to try to force herself on [Jun’ichirō], but he managed to escape.” pg. 33

to clarify, the first two quotes take place in front of several of the other detectives, and the third when the two are alone. when it’s said that Jun’ichirō’s eyes were wandering, it was later specified that he was looking at anything but her (pg 27.)

throughout the manga, Jun’ichirō also expresses that he’s uncomfortable with her advances in public. however, whenever he tries to stop her, she threatens or embarrasses him. this is an example of that as seen in chapter 4.

Jun’ichirō, for lack of a better term, resigns himself to this. despite the severe discomfort of himself and everyone who bares witness to them, he makes very few moves to stop her.

the reason for this is stated clearly on page 54 of, you guessed it, A Day at the Detective Agency.

“The only thing [Jun’ichirō] really even wished for was his little sister’s happiness.”

he will do anything if it means making her happy.

Naomi and Jun’ichirō relationship is very realistic in the sense that one person leverages the other’s love against them, as is the case in many instances of incestuous sexual abuse. it’s an incredibly common manipulation tactic, and it results in the abuse lasting for extremely long periods of time.

Jun’ichirō’s willingness to do whatever it takes to make Naomi happy is the very thing she uses against him, weaponizing the love they have for each other so that she can do whatever she would like to him.

and i do think that the love they have for each other is real, to a degree. in my opinion, Jun’ichirō does not see her in either a romantic or sexual light, but he does love her. meanwhile, Naomi absolutely views Jun’ichirō in a sexual way.

in addition to this, i think there’s also a kind of limerence going on between both of them. limerence is when someone has an obsessive, unrequited attachment towards somebody, often surfacing as a romantic or sexual fixation on them, or as pedestalizing them.

Jun’ichirō’s seems to surface as the latter, as seen here in chapter 24.

he’s surpassed just placing her on a pedestal, he’s placed her on the same level as the divine, hence his continued willingness to let her assault and harass him time and time again, despite his own displeasure.

(i would like to further emphasize that the fact that Jun’ichirō loves and idolizes her does not make what she does to him okay. what we see within the manga and light novels can be defined as sexual harassment/assault. furthermore, it’s implied several times that they’ve had intercourse. due to Jun’ichirō’s own blatant discomfort, and the reoccurrences of her manipulating and using threats against him, and how it’s said that Naomi forces herself on him and forces him into doing things, i’m not afraid to call it rape. i just wanted to make it extra clear that despite exploring their characters, i am not excusing anything she does. Naomi is an abuser, and Jun’ichirō is her victim.)

the Tanizaki siblings’ relationship can be summed up as this: Jun’ichirō will let Naomi do anything, so long as it makes her happy, and Naomi takes continuous advantage of this facts.

a very common theme in Bungo Stray Dogs is that the cycle of abuse is not without love, and that you can harm someone you love without intending to, and that you can love someone who has harmed you. Dazai cared for Akutagawa, the Headmaster cared for Atsushi, both Kōyō and Akutagawa cared for Kyōka, and Verlaine cared for Chūya. each of these relationships explore different kinds of abuse—mentor-mentee, mother-daughter, father-son, brother-brother—and the love that is often trapped inside of them. it’s one of my favorite things about this entire series.

this is a topic i will dissect much deeper in my video essay (of which’s release date i am still unsure of at the moment,) but i wanted to mention it here at the end here because i think the Tanizaki siblings are a very good representation of this.

that’s all i have to stay about the siblings at the moment. i’m sorry if some points seem under-supported, i had to leave out a lot to bend around tumblr’s image-limit and to keep this shorter than i originally intended. also my bad for any and all spelling or grammar mistakes, i tried to fix everything but i usually miss some stuff!

thank you so so much for reading all of my rambling thoughts about the Tanizaki’s, and i highly encourage you to add on your own thoughts (agreeing or disagreeing, i’m open to all conversations!!) in either the reblogs, the notes, or my askbox!! i only ask that you be respectful about it, as this is just an analysis i did for fun in my own spare time（⌒▽⌒ゞ thank you all so much again for reading, i know this was a bit of a long one <3

#take a shot every time i mention A Day at the Detective Agency ahajjdkdka #i’m so normal about jun’ichirō #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd tanizaki #bsd junichiro #bsd junichiro tanizaki #bsd naomi #bsd naomi tanizaki #bungo stray dogs analysis #bsd analysis

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fairuzfan · 9 months ago

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It's the zionist concern anon again. I will say for now that with what you said about prioritizing Palestinians I do agree. The people going through a genocide are a bigger priority than people who are not going through a genocide. I just fear that due to the fact I am neither Palestinian or Jewish that I may end up embracing stances that I do not actually understand and that innocent people may suffer because of it. I do not want to be irresponsible. I am also someone who lives in a country built on stolen land, so that does to some sort of extent influence my feelings on Isreal as I imagine many people in Isreal share my thoughts on the fact we have lived our entire lives on stolen land. As I said before, I also do not know any Palestinians personally so I find it hard to know who I can ask about the history, Hamas, technical details of politics, etc without risking being taught the wrong things. On a much more selfish note, I also struggle with debilitating mental health issues that make it very difficult to navigate moral issues especially if the moral issues do not impact me on a personal level. So if I am being honest, my questions are not entirely selfless as I have very self-centered fears on if I am actually a horrible person. I thank you again for being so understanding, but I figure the right thing to do here is admit I am likely not as pure intentioned in my questions as I should be when a large factor to why I worked up the courage to ask is in hope I am worrying too much about my quality of moral character from a selfish perspective. Again, I thank you for being so understanding and willing to answer these asks instead of just brushing me off as a horrible zionist.

I don't think you're a horrible person at all I just think everyone has underlying zionist biases because it's a product of the society we live in.

And I do understand where you're coming from, honestly. Something that always helps me is remembering something that my parents taught me as a kid: always stand on the side of the oppressed. Now as I grew up I realized you have to define what oppression means and I think exploring that will also help you get a better understanding of how to combat other forms of racism/antisemitism/transphobia/etc.

If you do want to learn about hamas tho, I would suggest taking a look at Tareq Baconi, he has a lot of writings about the history of Hamas and he's Palestinian. There are also Palestinian podcasts and social media accounts. I understand that not knowing a palestinian personally to help you guide yourself through these things is daunting, but there are plenty of resources to help! It's why I'm here on this blog honestly, I don't mind you reaching out to me for questions or anything.

A good principle to remind ourselves with is "how can I ensure that justice can be had?" And to find the answer to that you need to look into multiple types of antizionist thought. Some blogs I like to check out for a diverse antizionist opinion are @el-shab-hussein and @bringmemyrocks as a couple of examples. Plus I'd look to Black American thinkers on antiracism (like Angela Davis and James Baldwin and Kwame Ture) because they do a good job of showing you how to examine your internal biases which we are all subject to.

I don't think this selfish to want to be a good person. I have the same worries. I actually do get worried that sometimes I'm *actually* a bad person secretly without me realizing and I reach out to friends and family to talk it out. Something that helps me through this is realizing that you have to forgive yourself for previous beliefs you've had and promise yourself to do better because at the end of the day youre human and you make mistakes.

But really my biggest advice is to read and listen to a variety of schools of thought and if you can, interact with local communities dedicated to antiracism. Even if theyre digital communities! That will help a lot with identifying any problem points.

Again, feel free to reach out with any questions. I don't think you're a zionist at all! Please don't worry and thanks for reaching out :)

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thebluestbluewords · 5 months ago

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Audrey’s Diary

I’m reading through Audrey’s diary, and I have to say…out of all the descendants tie-in books, this one has been my least favorite so far. There’s some fun moments, but overall it’s rehashing the events of the movies that we’ve already seen, and only adds a little bit of additional Audrey perspective. Compared to Mal’s Spellbook, or Evie’s Fashion Book, there’s not a lot of additional content that we don’t already see in the movies.

That being said, there’s some really fun moments of Audrey POV that help expand on her relationship with her parents, her grandmother, her godmothers, and even some of her Auradon friends. It’s not my favorite tie-in book, but it’s still fun to read.

This page is fun for a couple of reasons- we get to hear about Sir Choppington’s, which is apparently in East Riding, near King George Town. (I’m collecting a list of Auradon town names. Who King George is doesn’t matter here. He’s got a town named after him!!)

Either Jane doesn’t look up salon reviews before she gets her hair cut….or her mom made the decision for her, which feels like a strong possibility considering Jane’s relationship with her mom in the first movie. Audrey’s mom isn’t even present in the movie, so it’s not surprising that she wouldn’t consider Jane’s mom telling her where to go as an option in this bad haircut saga.

I know that this book is supposed to make Audrey feel more sympathetic, but honestly I just feel bad for her. Judging your friend’s haircuts is a time honored tradition, but the focus on how Jane ignored Audrey’s advice really does feel like something a self-centered teenager would write. It certainly doesn’t feel very sympathetic to poor Jane….which might be an indication of how their friendship falls apart later on.

Speaking of hair, here’s another page where we get a more detailed view of Audrey’s opinions on other people’s hair. This page is basically her line from the movie, not quite word for word….but pretty close. I was a little disappointed that we dont get anything else about why Audrey dislikes magic- her mother fell under a magic spell, but she also had a magic color changing dress that’s pretty iconic. Magic for beauty feels like a slippery slope for teenagers who are unhappy with their bodies, sure, but Audrey bby….you go to a salon to change your hair layer in this book. Changing your appearance is only bad when you’re doing it with magic, not dye or extensions?

I’m impressed with how well the Auradon Prep sixth grade Gateway Magic seminar seems to have preached magical abstinence-only education. Kudos to Fairy Godmother on ensuring that her students both hate and don’t understand magic. The nods to Auradon Prep classes are one of my favorite things in this book.

#descendants #I’m not a huge fan of Audrey but I do feel for her #she’s raised in a certain princess environment and she was NOT PREPARED for that to change

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lacrimosathedark · 4 months ago

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Hellaverse Aces Headcanons

We have THREE whole confirmed asexuals in the Hellaverse and one more kind of implied, so as an ace-spec person myself, I thought it'd be fun to do headcanons on where they stand.

Mammon

100% asexual, sex averse but not repulsed. Or rather, he isn't super bothered being exposed to it (especially if it's making him money) but he DOES NOT want to be involved. Like, he has those two Fizzie Bots to give off the appearance that he has bitches, but he has no bitches and I don't think he wants them.

Probably aromantic. He doesn't seem to understand love and certainly doesn't care for it. His first love is money and nothing will come between him and that bag. Also, man dresses like an aro flag on the daily.

The other three are much longer so under the cut we go!

Octavia Goetia

Mildly sex-repulsed asexual. She might be demi, but it's hard to say without her having many peers in the show thus far. But on the whole, she gives off totally ace vibes. I don't think she was just embarrassed by her dad's public flirting, but genuinely uncomfy with the subject matter. Blitzø's openness on the subject might be part of why she dislikes him so much.

It's hard to stay with her limited screen time, but I also think she's greyromantic. She doesn't seem to understand love. That is probably partly from how she was raised; her parents are far from a good model for a loving relationship. But she also just has disinterested vibes to me. It feels like she doesn't even really think about it.

She's made a connection with Loona, and it feels so solidly sisterly. I mean, it would be a little bit weird if it skewed romantic with the potential for being future step-siblings, but weirder things happen in HB. Via just seems to have a quick solid sisterly bond with her and it's adorable.

She puts a lot of value in platonic relationships. She is so deeply heartbroken by her parents divorce even if they hate each other because they're both good to her (or at least I presume Stella is usually good to Via or else she'd probably be less upset or upset about different things in the divorce). Her biggest fear is that Stolas will leave her behind.

We know Stolas loves her more than anything (heehee) and is just a bit too self-centered and wrapped in his own head to be as attentive to her as they'd like. And as upset as she gets with him, Via always forgives Stolas for being stupid. He means the world to her and vice versa.

If she were to ever get married, it would literally be her best friend and she would say that no one should expect an heir from her. I feel like she would be happiest with a queerplatonic partner who would cuddle her and maybe kiss her cheek and forehead, but nothing "more" than that so to speak.

Alastor

Honestly will admit that my perspective here may be tainted by my adoration of Radioapple.

Demi or greysexual, but basically 99% asexual. By which I mean it's more literally a one in a million chance that he'd find any interest in someone. His attraction is very particular. Like, never being attracted to anyone until meeting The One. (For clarity, I don't believe in fate and finding someone he's miraculously attracted to doesn't "fix" him so let's shut that shit down. You can be attracted to literally one person and if you feel no attraction for anyone else, that's still ace. It doesn't disqualify you from asexuality.)

Sex averse in general, and generally repulsed at the idea of self-involvement. Outside of That One Person, sex disgusts him, and even then it's still hit or miss whether he's into it or not. He's alright enough with it that he can casually walk the streets of Pentagram City unbothered, but he otherwise wouldn't willingly expose himself to it ex. being very notably absent on Show and Tell day.

It involves far too much physical contact for his liking, and being friends with someone like Mimzy in life, he likely has seen much of the darker side of it. I wouldn't be surprised if so-called predators were his prey in life.

Some people think of him as repulsed by the body fluid stuff (I certainly am) but I don't think that's a factor for him. Man eats demons whole. He gets everything that is inside them. Including their digestive systems. I don't think other body fluids are gonna be an issue lol

He knows sexual attraction could be used to manipulate someone, but he is disgusted by the concept, maybe because he saw that happen too much when he was alive, or he considers it pathetic, debasing yourself for someone else. Man also covers up from the neck down, he could have an issue being bare around someone else.

Homo-greyromantic. I can't imagine this man romantically attracted to a woman, if only because I feel like if he were, he would be married to Rosie by now because they seem like a perfect fit. If they were alive, they would be the type to be married for tax benefits (or the benefit of not having to testify against each other in court HA).

LOOK AT THEM. He's so comfy and genuinely happy with her it's so cute! He do a little squeak aaaaaa If Alastor understood the concept of asexuality he and Rosie would be qpps and you can never convince me otherwise. It is a hill I would die on.

And him only being attracted to men would make a lot of sense why he'd never found someone, because he has a general disdain for men that is actually pretty common in people attracted to men, women especially. Men are trash is his baseline, why would he give them a chance, especially in Hell where they're almost guaranteed to be awful? No thanks. Not worth it. He has better things to do. Like murder!

Plus, he's so fucking fruity sometimes lol

I mean, come on.

(also, sidenote, bitch GET YOUR SHOES OFF THE BED)

It also would make Radiostatic/silence more tragic imo. Like, maybe Alastor felt some kind of romantic about him, but Vox wanted something sexual too and Alastor just wasn't interested. Vox is a pretty sexual guy. If "dating" a pimp running a porn studio isn't enough, this is.

I'm so Velvette in this scene lol stfu Vox calm down

But if Vox wanted sex and Alastor flat-out rejected it, Vox might not have understood the complexities of Alastor's attraction and assumed he was lacking something, that Alastor didn't actually like him, and took it personally and lashed out.

We know Vox is obsessed with Alastor, and there's certainly mutual disdain, but isn't it more tragic if Alastor felt betrayed too? He lost a friend, or maybe something more intimate, all because said friend wanted to fuck him. That's so relatable tbh.

Striker

Yes I'm including him.

I'm gonna guess he's actually autosexual and otherwise sex-repulsed. Every time sex is brought up, he's visibly uncomfortable and even angry. That could be for any number of reasons, but I'm going with this lol. The only reason I'm not "sure" he's sex-repulsed ace is that fucking statue of his.

I mean, Stolas does comment about him wanting to suck his own dick sooooooo

But he does also use Blitzø's attraction against him, so not repulsed enough to not use others' attraction against them as a means to an end.

He doesn't give off aro vibes to me, but he could be maybe? To me he just feels like whatever drives him comes first. Whatever happened that made him hate royalty with such a passion supersedes anything else he might feel, and who needs attachments if he's just gonna lose them again?

Aces are shockingly well-fed in the Hellaverse huh? Especially considering our general absence anywhere else, and the crumbs we get are hugely stereotyped and wrong. Like, look at that, only one of them is heartless and none of them are passionless robots! And their sexuality isn't their defining personality trait, just some more color! Wow!

Mainstream media take fuckin notes.

#My rambles #Hellaverse #Helluva Boss #Hazbin Hotel #Mammon (Helluva Boss)#Octavia Goetia #Alastor the Radio Demon #Striker (Helluva Boss)

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simonalkenmayer · 6 months ago

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this is so random but I dunno, you seem wise. If you don’t have any response or advice, then that’s quite alright, it’s not like this is your responsibility.

I’m in a dilemma where I am so attracted to this girl(I say girl not woman because we’re both teenagers) but I don’t know if I could have any kind of intimate relationship with her that wouldn’t be me using her. As in, even if she consented, I think she might just be too vulnerable and I’m not.

Because I believe that that wouldn’t be right, because I don’t think it would be ethical, I’ve decided I shouldn’t proposition her. But how should I move forward with these feelings? They’ve been hard to cope with. She’s so cute and I’m just someone that feels emotions intensely. How should I let go and just be friends with her?

Don’t worry, I’ll also consult a therapist about it soon.

Thank you.

Wisdom? Ha. I am not so stupid as to claim wisdom. Perspective? Age? Those I will claim.

Here is my reply.

Why do you have the right to decide what she is allowed to experience? That’s very self-centered, don’t you think? Doesn’t seem like you actually have a high opinion of her, if you think somehow you’re entitled to determine whether or not she is “being used”. Seems as if you think you’re smarter/more capable/more knowledgeable, and speak of her as if she’s fragile or weak, compared to your machinations or whatnot. No idea what sex you are, but that’s the kind of thing men tend to do to women that vexes them most.

My reply sounds harsh to you? Well, good, because hopefully it will show you how silly the above situation is.

It is perfectly fine to ask someone if they’d prefer to have only a physical relationship, with extra features to that, friendship and so forth, to be added as desired. There isn’t one type of relationship. There are many. And you can build one that suits you both. You could have a conversation about your mutual thoughts and make a decision together instead of deciding you ought to choose for her.

Don’t decide things for her, because that tells her you don’t respect her agency.

Or…could it be you’re making that choice so that you never have to face actually walking up to the girl and telling her how much you admire her. Terrifying, but one of the only experiences humans seem to feel with any intensity. Don’t deprive yourself of that emotional rollercoaster. I hear it’s one of humanity’s chief delights.

If she has a vulnerability you can see, then simply don’t exploit it, but instead make her aware of it and strengthen her. That, my friend is the active form of “love” such as humans feel it. By helping her tackle those things that make her vulnerable without exploiting them, you prove you are the sort who truly does have what it takes to be a safe place for her.

Do yourself a favor. Tell her you like her and end the debate. If she says no, you move on. Because now the question is moot. If she’s interested, well then you get the fun of establishing your boundaries and deciding what sort of relationship would be equitable. With her input, since she is a thinking feeling person and not an object.

Humans waste so much time agonizing rather than just solving. To hell with fear or nerves. Just do the thing and enjoy the next phase of existence.

I advise forthright honesty in all things. Yes it can make you vulnerable to others, but it’s also something that can provide you with incredible strength further down the road. being vulnerable with someone shows them you trust them and is the basis of a relationship.

Do the thing. Then agonize, if such is required.

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cr0cutacr0cuta · 2 years ago

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Loving Darius Deamonne: A LONG tumblr essay about my favorite character from The Owl House, and why I think his potential was missed but hinted at.

Hey heres an edit: forgot that Gus existed, my bad. :sob: I love him too just not as much.

Darius Deamonne is a great character and you should love him too and here's why.

It goes beyond me just loving him for being black and pretty obviously gay (at least some sort of mlm) in my eyes. Which is good! He's black and somewhat feminine and it's never played for laughs. He's still treated like a threat and like a very powerful and influential person. Which I wholeheartedly appreciate it.

Which is the first thing I wanna touch on I guess?

I also want to say that some of this is based off of interviews that Dana Terrace has done for the show, as well as piecing theories together based on the information we DO know about Darius.

And no I won't proofread this because I have anxiety about re-reading anything I write, so sorry for the typos in advanced. :,)

I was going to do this in parts but everything is bleeding together so much that I can't. I'll sum up all the most important things in bullet points at the end!

This will probably be my shortest section here. Darius is very reminiscent of effeminate Disney Villains such as Scar or Gaston. He's very into fashion and self pampering. He even has a menacing sounding French/Greek roots last name that DOES invoke demons. Even if that's not the true meaning behind the name, but we'll get back to that later in this section.

Darius is first hinted at in Season 1 Episode 13, "The First Day". His simplified visage appearing on the Abomination Coven banner.

Man, look at how sinister and mysterious they made him look. He also appears to MAYBE be wearing a different outfit than he does in the rest of the series proper. There's not a lot to say or analyze here, I just think his banner is super neat.

The second time we see Darius is in the flashback segment of "Young Blood, Old Souls". We see his younger design first before we even get a glimpse of his present one. I just really like that detail and the implication that Darius was a character that was very heavily on the writer's mind from the jump.

Now his real, first proper appearance is very wild. Very important. I don't know too much about cinematography and framing, but I do know a little bit of the basics.

Let's look at his first true appearance in Season 2 Episode 6, "Hunting Pailsmen".

We do see his shadow in the shot before this, but I just want to point out that Darius is straight up the first coven head we see in the introduction to all of them. (We do see Mason in an earlier episode but it was in a more comedic role and he doesn't speak.)

This framing putting Darius front and center doesn't stop here.

In the first proper serious group shot of the coven heads, Darius is in the middle. Firstly, the perspective frames Darius as the biggest person in the shot. Maybe besides Hettie, but she's also pretty tall and scaled down because of the perspective. He's also the one in the center of the shot, in the center of some of the most powerful people and most influental people in the isles.

This does imply importance.

It even goes further in the next shot.

Darius is at the side here, sure. But he's put next to Mason who probably has the plainest design out of all the coven heads. (I'm sure he's fine.) But it almost feels like he was put next to Darius to make Darius' framing look more important. With the rest of the more uniquely designed coven heads smaller, at the back, and rendered in less color because of the light from the cauldron (?) in the shot.

Even in the storyboard, Darius seems ot have a bit more detail than everyone else. And if not that, his expression is more clear and intense than the other's.

This makes me wonder how important Darius was to the narrative before the show got canceled. Like yes, Raine ended up being the most important person here in the end. Rightfully so. I still just wondered what was there intention with the compositions of these scenes. Was Darius meant to be more important, or was this a misdirect?

He's in such a unique spot in the story, that I doubt it was unintentional. Darius was supposed to be explored much more according to Dana.

Snippet of the interview from TV Tropes.

So we know Darius was supposed to be explored more as a character in a hypothetical, fully realized season 3. I really would have done anything to see that, honestly.

That's all I have to really say for this section. I'm just bummed that all this foreshadowing and planning was destroyed because of Disney's mismanagement of the show. It also sucks that the main black character we see in the show is one of the biggest causalities from it. Moving on.

So back to Darius being like renaissance era Disney villains...He's vain, he's powerful, and quite possibly...He's manipulative. Mainly, it seems, towards the other coven heads.

Remember what Hunter says in "Any Sport in a Storm" about the coven heads...

This is very much speculation on my part. But I think Darius has been in the rebellion game for a while. I can't say he's a direct leader and I can't say he has an entire group behind him until Raine comes along. But I wouldn't put it above him to use mind games to help slow Belos' progress. I think Darius may have been purposely sowing discourse between the other coven heads.

Mind you, a lot of them are already conniving on their own. But I don't put it past him to stoke the flames to cause chaos for Belos' plans.

This does beg the question, how long has Darius been at this? How long has he been TRYING to dismantle the Emperor's hold on the Isles?

Again, speculation warning, but I do think Darius may have been at least skeptical of Belos and looking into what he was doing since his mentor died.

Imagine, your mentor is the leader of the Emperor's Coven. The Emperor's personal right hand man. Then he just...dies one day. And since Belos says that all the previous guards had in fact, betrayed him, what's to say that the previous Golden Guard didn't tell Darius he was going to betray Belos?

Like yes, he could have not told Darius in an attempt to protect him. Darius obviously meant a lot to him and he obviously meant a lot to Darius. Though I also think that he would want to save Darius and everyone else. And if he couldn't, he would want Darius to save himself and everyone else. I can't prove that Darius was told anything, but I wouldn't be surprised.

So Darius may have just...Straight up been in the trenches for years at this point. He does say that he rebelled because he found "The Day of Unity suspicious"...But Darius has exaggerated on screen before. He's also been straight up lying to a lot of peers for possibly years. He can be an unreliable narrator here.

This also means he is a stereotypical renaissance villain turned on it's head. He looks very evil, but my mans is just semi goth, loves fashion, and is an anarchist. He's not a villain, just an anti-hero.

With that said, let's talk about his relationship with Hunter, which seems to be pretty complicated.

Darius starts out seemingly looking at Hunter with distain. I think about what Dana says about Darius' main motivations not only being to help people, but to care about the ones that he loves. The implications that Darius' main driving force is love, not only for people personally in his life, but for his community, the people of the isles, seems pretty significant.

I think love maybe Darius' main, true character trait.

Love, especially when it ties into grief, can really make people lash out. Not everyone reacts this way, but we've already established that Darius can be pretty full of wrath when he wants to be.

To me it's very clear that Darius is projecting the anger he feels from his grief onto Hunter. Which yes, is messed up. There's no excuse for it. He eventually seems to grow and change at least, and that's good.

I can definitely see WHY he would feel the way he does towards Hunter at first though. Your mentor is murdered one day and you get little explanation, he also may have hinted at something deeper and darker happening within the leadership of your community before he does. Then he's replaced by some kid that, probably to you, came out of nowhere. He's the emperor's nephew. Didn't his family die a long time ago? Did his mentor have a child that he didn't even mention?

Which does beg the question...Does Darius know that Hunter is a grimwalker? I don't know? I don't think so. I think he's very suspicious of the whole situation at the very least. You're also frustrated with the kid about being a follower, about not looking at the bigger picture, about just being a soldier and not his own person. Because you're sure that being a follower, being subservient, is what lost your mentor his life.

Darius definitely could have handled this better. He could have not projected his grief onto Hunter. He could have been more open about what he wanted him to do. He could have told him to go be a kid and make friends. But he let his grief get in the way of it all. He's flawed, and that's relatable.

Seeing Hunter make friends and show some sort of autonomy seemingly broke him from seeing Hunter as just a replacement. He started seeing Hunter as his own person as Hunter did. I think that's a very important step in their growth together. I find that super interesting and very poetic.

There's also the fact that Darius probably couldn't tell Hunter about the scope of everything because he wanted to protect him from it all. I don't think Darius ever wanted Hunter to get hurt. Even if he was cruel to him initially. He was so upset in "Hollow Mind" that he shoves Raine out of the way when hears about Hunter being stuck in Belos' mind.

He also may have been scared of what Hunter would see if he had known that the Emperor had something to do with his mentor's death.

Also I guess I should mention it here because of it all tying into Darius being part of the rebellion but...There's a scene in "Eda's Requiem" where Darius is more angry about his clothes getting messed up than the fact that Raine has committed treason...Which is great foreshadowing, actually. I love the fact that Eberwolf has to remind him of the treason part so their cover doesn't get blown, probably.

Let's keep the ball rolling on the most important relationships in Darius' life.

We've covered Hunter and his mentor, so let's move onto Eberwolf.

Eberwolf is pretty heavily implied to be like a sibling to Darius. There's a lot of unexplored territory here and it makes me really sad. So this'll probably be the most sparsely talked about relationship here despite the fact that Darius and Eberwolf spend almost all of their screen time together.

I think the thing I want to point out was that Darius was not willing to let Eberwolf harmed or possibly killed during their fight with other coven heads on the day of unity. I feel like this may elude to a few things.

Darius cannot bare to lose someone in his life again. Or can't bare to see it, possibly again. He backs off immediately and the fear in his eyes is real.

Which shout out the animators for making that very apparent.

It's also very apparent in Eberwolf's expression as well. The expressions just say so much and tell so much of the story between the two that we don't get to see. We get shown and not told...Even if we weren't shown in a more direct way.

Saw this in another post but the scenes following where Eberwolf and Darius appear, also imply pretty heavily that when the spell started working, Eberwolf wanted to run to Darius. But he was in too much pain himself to make it over to him.

Darius knew they were all going to die if he didn't do anything but he chose not to anyway because the pain of losing Eberwolf right in front of him in such a terrible way stopped him. Darius let his fear of loss of someone he really cared about potential damn everyone on the isles. Another flaw, but another important note to tack onto his character.

Like yes, he would have saved everyone else but he probably would have caused him more heartache that he couldn't handle. He'd already been through a lot losing his mentor (and his best friend/possible love interest, but oh we will get to you, Alador Blight.), and this kind of implies that he probably couldn't do it again.

Though Darius acts smart and kind of logical, he's very driven by his emotions, his love and grief in particular, seemingly.

That being said, let's move on from Eberwolf. We're going to skip the obvious for now, and go onto why Darius is probably the best coven head or at least in the running next to Raine.

I'd like to let you all know that the abomination coven is pretty consistently stacked. Not only do they have Principal Bump, who has been shown to be a powerful which in his own right from his debut episode, but Alador, who's Darius' rival yes...But it's pretty lightly implied that Darius and Alador had shared their innovations and interests in abominations when they were younger. Alador probably knows some of what he knows from Darius. Though you could probably say the same the other way around, Alador didn't end up becoming the coven head. Darius is obviously the more skilled abomination user of the two.

Then you have up and coming prospects like Amity who's consistently been shown to be pretty powerful.

Willow even says in "I Was A Teenager Abomination":

"There are better opportunities on this track." when referring to the abomination tract at school.

Now don't get me wrong, coven system = bad. But I don't think the sense of community the coven system provides for witches is ALL bad.

I think the implication here, though subtle, is that Darius is fostering probably the most powerful coven in the entire system.

He's investing and nurturing new prospects. He's providing opportunities for witches in his coven that other covens are not. Darius truly cares about his community. He truly cares about his craft and furthering it through communal growth. He even wrote a book to show his knowledge with the people of the isles.

Darius has been shown to be on of the few characters who can change his form. He does this at will (seemingly) without the help of a curse of any kind. Darius is just powerful enough to change into an abomination monster and he's the only character who can do it. Which is impressive considering how stacked the rest of the abomination users in the show are.

Even Alador has made pretty rad innovations to the craft, even if Darius doesn't completely agree with them.

I also want to say that this points to Darius maybe being a engineer like Alador...but to contrast Alador being a mechanical one he's a genetic engineer, and that might be what's going on with his form. But that's again, pure speculation just from his seemingly opposite theming to Alador.

So it seems like Darius is also a good leader. One with a sense of duty and nurturing towards his community.

Now last but not least...

Let's fucking talk about.

AlaDarius.

Man I have so much to fucking say about these two HOLY SHIT.

They are literally only on screen together like 4 times and it's in the epilogue but just the implications we get from the little breadcrumbs we do have...Oh man.

So Darius and Alador were friends. We can prove that. They seemed to be on good teams in "Thems the Breaks, Kid." Alador talking to Darius and laughing once he flicks some abomination goo onto his face. With Odalia observing, unfortunately.

There's a lot that can be inferred by this. I don't think Odalia was always like she is now. But power, and maybe the prospect of it, corrupts. There's a lot that could have happened between these three.

Some theories:

It's possible that Odalia didn't have as many prospects as Darius or Alador coming up. Which might be why she pursued Alador in the first place. Alador's family has money, Odalia has a manipulative business sense, Alador is socially awkward and probably can't conduct business as well so that maybe got her in good with his family.

Maybe she even manipulated Alador into loving her over Darius by whispering lies in his ears and fueling the rivalry between them. Maybe she got Alador to push Darius away.

There's also the prospect that Alador's marriage to Odalia was arranged for whatever reason. Maybe his parents also told him to push Darius away because of that because they knew Alador and Darius were catching feelings for each other. Alador could have thought that this was normal and had a sense of duty to his family that he put over his love for Darius.

This could also be why he was okay with Odalia telling Amity to cut ties with Willow. Alador may have been forced to do the exact same thing.

And we've already established that when Darius cares about someone, he cares about them very hard. He loves and he loves deep. He already lashed out at Hunter because he loved his mentor so deeply, so why wouldn't he lash out at Alador for essentially abandoning him?

I think it's very clear that Darius loved Alador. Maybe he still does after all these years considering how he acted in the epilogue.

I mean look at him.

He shakes Alador in excitement and pride and pulls away all embarrassed. Pretending he still doesn't have feelings. He even like, touches his chest it's insane and insanely cute. Alador not knowing how to feel is also funny because he probably thinks Darius had either let go of his feelings or he's just surprised that he'd show him any kind of affection after everything.

I also have a theory that Darius possibly been wanting to reconnect with Alador for years. I think the rebellion and wanting to protect Alador from possibly getting threatened if he himself got caught might be a reason. It also might be anxiety. Maybe he's scared Alador might find a reason to abandon him again. Maybe he's actually actively traumatized by that prospect and he has work through it (god I wish this show had more time). Maybe it's all habit at this point too. He's just used to pushing Alador away at this point. Hell, maybe he even thinks that Alador should just be focusing on his children considering their mother is no longer in the picture and they're all healing as a family and he feels like that has nothing to do with him.

There's a lot of speculation.

I'm willing to bet SOME of this is right.

I also don't think this should be downplayed considering that Darius never mentions Odalia when seeing the abomaton in "Eda's Requiem." He didn't have to say anything at all but he's so hurt and so petty about being hurt by Alador SPECIFICALLY that he tells Kikimora to tell him that he's a hack.

There's something going on and I want to know what it is and I'm 80% sure that it's romantic.

I also want to also point out that we see Alador and Darius standing together in the very last shot of the show.

Like they do genuinely look like a family unite here and I truly appreciate it. It might take some time but but that's alright. I think they can figure it out. I think they genuinely can mend their relationship with each other since Darius was able to mend his with Hunter and Alador with his children.

They're both so flawed and had to grow in similar aspects. They're both so different but have these little bridges that truly connect them. Their love for abominations. How they both weren't the best father figures at first but learned to be better for their kids.

There's a lot of undertones with this relationship I truly enjoy.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT HIS DESIGN.

I've been writing this essay for over 3 hours so I'm going to try to make this fast.

I won't go into how Darius is very effeminate Disney villain again, so I'll jump straight into his color palette.

Darius has 5 basic colors/shades in his design.

Black: Black invokes a few things. They all kind of pertain to Darius. Black can mean mystery. His past is very mysterious. He's basically a spy, which are mysterious. Black can also mean elegance and power. He loves fancy clothes and is very powerful.

Purple: Darius has a few shades of purple on him. This can be a nod to his craft as the abomination coven head. Purple also invokes regality which might be a nod to his influence in the witch community at large. Though not a ruler, he does have a presence that does seem almost like royalty. It's also the color of imagination. The abominations are somewhat like living sculptures, like art, eluding to imagination. He also sews, probably making his own outfits, which is a very creative endeavor. Purple also invokes compassion, enlightenment, and encouragement. It's also attached to those who are emotional and sensitive and sometimes immature.

Green: Green is a fantastic contrast to purple. I'm guessing this is why Darius' eyes were changed from purple to green. It made more sense with his design and gave it a bit more pop. While green is the color of envy (possibly eluding to his possibly jealousy of Odalia and Alador's relationship), it's also the color of judgement (again, looking at Alador) and materialism (my man loves his clothes). The positive side to this is green representing healing and growth as well. They represent things that Darius needs to let go and things that he actually needs.

Gold: Gold represents luxury, success, triumph, and loyalty. I feel like that's all pretty self explanatory considering all I've discussed so far. Darius studied hard under the olden guard to be successful, he triumphant and became the coven head, he's loyal to everyone he loves and his community. And he does enjoy a bit of luxury, too. :)

White: White actually means a lot of things. The ones I think pertain to Darius most are actually cleanliness, coldness, and purity believe it or not. Obviously he likes to be clean. Coldness because of how distant he starts towards Hunter, and how he maybe pushing away certain people because he doesn't want them getting hurt if he gets found out in the rebellion. This cold also be why his gloves are white. They're a symbol of his coldness over his hands. His coldness keeps him from touching other's, literally. It keeps him distant. Now purity maybe the surprising one here, but it's most so about his intentions, and his sense of duty, and his need to protect. Those things all come from a pure place, a pure good. Even if he himself isn't pure good. It's still in him. Also shout out to perfection as a meaning too but it's not confirmed but he seems like the type who would be a perfectionist.

Overall, his palette actually tells you everything you need to know about him. His silhouette is also pretty memorable. You can look at just that and know, yeah THAT'S Darius Deamonne. You can also tell little things about him from his silhouette through his posture and shapes of his clothes.

I'll also briefly mention his name.

Darius is a name of Persian/Greek/Latin Origin. It means "possessing goodness". And man that feels like a dead giveaway for him not being a bad guy once I type it now. The name can also mean "rich/king like" which...TRUE. And also it can mean "he who holds firm to good". Which is also true. It's also a very popular name among Black folks in the US.

Deamonne is... A little more complicated. It's both French and Greek oddly enough. There's not a lot about this name out there, honestly. Usually when you look it up on google most of the results pertain to well...Darius himself.

Deamonne might be a reference to the word daemon, itself a previous form of the word "demon"...But Daemons themselves are pretty different. The Greek meaning of the word seems to be "A divinity who or supernatural being of a nature between gods and humans." I wonder if MAYBE it's a nod to his status of being able to transform into abomination matter, making him maybe a hybrid or somewhere between being a witch or abomination? Who knows? Hard to say with this one.

I guess that's it! Maybe I'll reblog with an update if I can think of more. But this is my genuine exploration of why Darius means so much to me and why he deserved way better than he got.

These are all breadcrumbs really, and that's what makes his story so, so alluring. Because if they could tell this much with this little, I wonder what the could have showed us if he had even just a full episode to himself.

Here's the tl;dr with all the important points:

Darius probably had a bigger part to play in the Owl House's plot that got cut because of it's cancelation.

Darius' main driving emotion and motivation seems to be love.

Darius may have been planning to betray Belos for longer than we thought.

Darius is probably very scared of losing someone he loves again.

Darius come off as a little cold and distant because of those fears.

He'd lay down his life for people he loves.

He might be the best coven head in terms in leadership.

His color scheme and name lay out his character pretty bare.

I'm sure there's more here but thanks for reading. Sorry this ran long. I actually probably forgot some things in the summery above because I've been writing this for hours.

Have a good day and remember:

I'd give my soul and all my money for a Darius Deamonne spin off.

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languageshead · 1 year ago

Text

People saying they are "higher needs" when you point out harmful and misinformation that they are spreading about higher needs autism.

I have noticed this quite often, it is definitely not uncommon. When you are being called out about misinformation it's much easier to say that you are a part of that community as a "free pass" to validate anything you say than come forward that you were wrong and maybe reflect a little bit about what you have said.

Whenever people say "levels are ableist", "levels are stereotyping us" and I point out that this perspective is very low needs centered and it's usually late-diagnosed, low needs people that spread this kind of information that is incorrect and harmful people always, always end up saying "I am higher needs too", "I am level 2/3" and this makes me so incredibly upset.

First, if the person is being honest about their level, which honestly you just have to believe they are and hope for the best, since a lot of people seem to be self-diagnosing with "higher needs", which I absolutely do not agree with, that doesn't make them exempt from having typically "low needs/late-diagnosed actions". Being higher needs does not make you immune to saying bullshit and to ignoring other higher needs autistics. Being autistic also doesn't exempt you from being ableist, from being an Aspie Supremacist, being part of a community does not make you immune to being ableist to your own community. The biggest example of this is how often gay men are homophobic towards their own LGBTQ+ community, how often they can be transphobic, lesbophobic etc.

So, if someone is pointing out that what you are saying goes against the majority of the higher needs autism community, you do not get to say "I am higher needs" to validate what you are saying. I never, ever assume someone's needs over the internet and to call you out for harmful misinformation about levels and the general higher needs autistic activism is not assuming your level. If I tell you that what you are saying goes against what the majority of higher needs autistics talk about, I am not assuming you aren't higher needs. I am simply pointing out that you are being harmful to higher needs autistics, whether you are or not one of us.

Second, I am honestly very surprised to see people claiming they are higher needs while clearly not participating in higher needs activism and discussions. It's clear to all of us here, as far as I am aware, that levels are needed and that they are not ableist. All of my online "friends" (I call you all friends, because I remember your usernames and always check to see what you've been posting, even if we don't really interact) are fighting to get low needs/late-diagnosed people to understand our perspective and to understand that some of us do have more needs than others and that's fine. And very honestly, if one of us, who truly knows what we go through in the autistic community, keeps spreading this type of misinformation, this makes me so incredibly sad and I honestly am unable to understand why they would do that.

And I honestly assume (I know it's not really okay to assume, but be patient with me, we're all trying our bests and a lot of us are just tired with the backlash from the mainstream autistic community), by the things these people usually say that they really do not engage in our activism and do not truly understand what we try to fight for within the autistic community. So I do not know if they are late-diagnosed higher needs and therefore do not know about us, if they aren't higher needs, if they are higher needs yet refuse to participate in our activism, if they self-diagnosed higher needs... I don't know. Anyways, in any of these cases, telling you to keep up with actual higher needs activism (like what we do here, over at Reddit etc) is not, in any way, assuming you are not higher needs. It's telling you that you are clearly not listening to higher needs autism activism.

I always try to be nice and end up being blocked because people within the autistic community cannot take any criticism, ever. Just happened right now. I put so much effort into my words (which is much harder when you have a language impairment) to try to educate people, to be nice and let them know what they are saying is incorrect and people just assume I am either attacking them, being "ableist" or any other kind of misinterpretation of my words. Sometimes I think I will lose my mind over activism. I feel so left out, I feel like I am screaming at no one. I am so done with mainstream autism activism and I am so done being ignored. I think sometimes that I need to distance myself from activism because this is so hard to cope with emotionally. But at the same time I cannot because I cannot see misinformation and ignore, misinformation makes me furious, injustice against people like me and my friends here makes me absolutely mad. I cannot ignore. Maybe this is a symptom of my own autism, I don't know, if anyone does feel free to let me know. I can't ignore this. Anyways, this post was a vent. I am always very opened to criticism and civil discussions as long as long don't keep your arguments to impact phrases(+) everyone is done listening and as long as you don't block me when I am trying to have a civil discussion.

+ I am not sure if "impact phrases" is the correct word to what I am saying, I had to google this on translator because I don't know how to say this in English. By "impact phrases" I mean very used things without any meaningful thought like "levels are ableist", "levels divide us", "levels are new functioning labels". If you actually believe these things, I am also opened to explain why I (and a lot of higher needs and allies) think this is incorrect.

#autism level 2 #autism #autism spectrum disorder #actually autistic #autistic #higher needs autism #autism levels #autistic activism #autism activism

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