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a-lil-perspective · 4 years ago

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70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

#writers #fanfiction writers #writing encouragement #writer appreciation #writer support #writer struggles #writing motivation #writers tips #for writers #omg am I struggling.#hope these help you beautiful people #my writing #it’s a lil thing

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hotwings0203 · 4 years ago

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Decided to do a part 2 (due courtesy of @an-ambivalent and @definitetrashlord for motivating me to even continue this series HEHE💖)

Pt. 1

Tw: manipulation, dubcon, language

It isn’t the cum that slides down your legs continuously, nor the black and blue marks that so obviously covers the expanse of your neck at all times, no.

It’s the constant surveillance you’re under, it’s the lack of conversation you get from your comrades, it’s the way you mold and shift for however he wants you to be that solidifies his hold on you.

The attack from three weeks ago feels like yesterday, the way he held your head up by your hair after he was done ruining you and crooned in your ear that you were his now, and you’d be suicidal if you continued to lash out on his godsent decision plays like a broken record in your head.

You can’t look him in the eyes now, only meekly staring at his feet when he orders you to stand in front of him. Sometimes he’ll circle you and invade in your personal space, standing behind you and leaning in close behind your ear, simply inhaling you and saying nothing. Other times when no one’s around he’ll lounge back on the couch with a beer in his hand, spreading his knees wide while he lazily orders you to dance for him, slowly stripping away your self esteem and clothes simultaneously.

He doesn’t seem to outwardly mind the silence that seeps from you anymore, now that he has your body and attention focused solely on him.

Even Tomura has stopped talking to you just for fun. He’ll try and make a snipe at you, fruitlessly expecting your once-usual comebacks, but all you can do is blearily smile at him.

It makes everyone uneasy how quickly you’ve been reduced to nothing.

You couldn’t leave even if you tried to. Your medical skills were too valuable to be rejected, and Dabi’s scrutinizing tabs on you wouldn’t allow for even a foot stepped outside if not for Shigaraki’s missions.

Even your meals are meager at best, mainly consisting of copious amounts of alcohol and shitty ambiguous burnt food that pops up on the counters randomly.

You feel dirty, like a disease-infested rat. No amount is showering from the dingy stalls, no amount of cheap soap bars wittled down on your body erases the feeling of being used.

Dabi has never been in more love than he has now.

He hopes you like the food he makes, secretly placing it on the bar counter seconds before you sit down. Sure, the food might be a little burnt, but it’s still your favorite right?

It doesn’t matter how expensive the shower products are, he thinks they smell nice and that they’d smell even better on you. Shigaraki can fuck off, he’s not spending too much revenue on his girl, it’s the bare minimum he can do to show you how much he appreciates you playing by his rules...even if he can never say it out loud.

And his favorite part at the end of every day is putting his surely-misplaced words of affection into action, where he can scream with his body against yours how long he’s wanted you for, how thankful he is to any deity that exists that you’ve been placed in his care.

Dabi might be in love, but he’s not stupid though.

He sees the way your body becomes more and more deteriorated, notices the small change of you hesitation to answer him, the way you can never truly look at him, how you retreat to his room more and more(your room has just become a guest room now after he burned all your belongings, rendering you completely dependent on him to supply you with scratchy clothes and feminine products, no matter how embarrassing it is for you). It’s so frustrating to him- you’re not actually doing anything wrong, but you’re not doing it right either. How long does he have to keep threatening you for? Why can’t you just be happy with him? At least pretend like he’s not the villain for once.

He just feels so passionately for you, a word he never thought would be used in his vocabulary. It all bottles up, and sometimes he feels like he isn’t expressing his feelings of love, jealousy at you not giving him enough attention at times, concern over your quiet demeanor, and wanting of you enough.

You’ve never been more broken than you are now.

If it wasn’t bad enough that you bend at his every beck and call, he expects you to understand his body language and cravings without him even saying anything, which is more so often than not. He just stares at you for so, so long. You originally tried to get up and leave after he dragged you over to the couch and plopped you down, but immediately stilled after smoke began curling from his wrists.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing.”

You look at him incredulously, but his lids are lowered at you as he smokes a blunt. And so you exhale in annoyance and run a hand through your hair, closing your eyes to avoid looking into his unnerving glacial eyes.

It’s too bad you don’t see the big red hearts in them that break when you turn away from him.

You’re just so pretty, how can you expect him not to stare?

He tries to get you to do weird things too when you guys are alone and he’s not plowing you into the mattress.

Once on a cool winter night a majority of the League was out hunting for recruits. Dabi, you, and Spinner had done your quotas already-or,rather, Dabi had yanked you by your wrist alongside him through the dark alleyways, growling at you to “Keep your mouth shut and let me do the talking. If I see you looking at any one of these trash kindlings I’ll burn the whole alley up and force you to watch”.

And so while the rest of the party was out, Spinner had mumbled something about needing to take a piss with a pointed glare from Dabi and you were left alone again with your...boyfriend?

He sits down on the crumbling leather and gives you a once over, not saying anything.

You fidget in place, thinking he was going to make you give him another slutty show.

Moments pass, and he snaps, “Well?”

“W-well what?”

“Are you just gonna stand there like some braindead bitch? Sit down.” He leers at you.

You drop into the loveseat at the other end, looking down at your lap. You can’t see his expression, but he scoffs in disbelief.

“Are you actually slow? Get the fuck over here, it’s cold as shit.”

And so you scooch over to him regrettably, knees touching with his as you squirm.

He leans forward and turns to face you, reaching out a hand to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. He notices you trembling and squeezing your eyes shut, so he stops midway.

He sits back again and as soon as you feel his presence retreat you let out our breath.

It hurts his heart to hear it.

You solely turn to face him when he doesn’t say anything, and he points to one of the grimy blankets strewn over the side of the tv. He grunts, and you catch his drift.

You get up to retrieve it, and hear his gravelly voice. “Get the remote too.”

When both items are brought back, Dabi snatches the blanket from you and drapes it over himself contentedly.

What am I, an errand girl?

He tosses the remote at you to your surprise, and you look at him with raised eyebrows.

He props his cheek against a fist and stares briefly at the tv.

You take your chances and press the on button on the remote.

The ancient monitor comes to life, and it takes a few minutes of scrolling through the channels and glancing at Dabi’s face to decide the appropriate one to watch. You settle on some old slasher finally after seeing the scowl on his face lessen at the sight of a rusted blade chopping through some guy’s shoulders.

It’s weird to be sitting there with your bully-turned-beau, watching a horror flick as if your relationship with him was normal. You’re surprised he hasn’t jumped your bones yet, it’s what he always wants to do these days as if you’re planning on leaving and it’s his last dying wish to fuck you.

But he does nothing except for sit there, gazing at the screen with unblinking eyes, bouncing his knee.

He wants you near him.

What, does he have to spell it out for you? Why do you think he even sat you next to him with a blanket and a shitty movie?

Dabi expected you to snuggle up to him the moment you say back down. It’s rather insulting that you haven’t so far, if he’s being honest. Why would a fire user like him need a blanket to keep warm? That was for you.

And the horror movie? The only reason he allowed you to put it on is because he wanted you to jump, scream, flinch-hell, do something so he can put an arm around you and tease you for being scared!

But you just sit there. Stock-still, like a deer caught in headlights. Hands in your lap, back straight up, it bothers him that you’re not relaxing around him.

“Aren’t you cold?” You jump at the break in silence.

Indeed it is cold, the chilly winter draft seeping through the crumbling foundations of the old bar. But you’d resist, not wanting to know where he was going with this.

“Uh, no, I’m good thanks.”

He looks at you like you’re crazy. “You’re literally shaking cold, doll. Come here.”

You turn to him beseechingly, very much not wanting to prolong this. “Dabi...”

You’re met with an icy glare.

And so you begrudgingly scoot closer to him, barely a few inches away. Gingerly picking up the corner of the blanket, you place it over your lap in a faux effort to warm yourself.

Dabi rolls his eyes when he sees this, and pulls you by your arms to fall against his chest.

You gasp lightly at how warm his torso is, and can’t help the shiver that passes over you.

Unable to stop yourself from chasing the warmth amidst the cold night, you huddle closer to him, pressing your palms against his chest to feel more of his heat.

He looks down at your head and gives the slightest twitch of his lips.

His heart swells, and he hopes you don’t hear how embarrassingly loud it’s pounding against your hands.

You slowly start melting in his hold, shifting your leg up adjoining his to seek out more heat, and it makes his cock twitch slightly. He likes you like this: pliant, easy, comfortable. He just wishes you’d talk more, and with less of that apprehension and fear in your eyes

Some minutes pass, the slasher fic having been ended and changing to a rom-com. Dabi doesn’t remember the last time he saw one of those. It must have been back when he was Touya, back when his mom would bake his favorite cookies and him and Fuyumi-chan and Natsu would chase each other around-

You stir in his arms, mumbling a bit from dozing off. Dabi gazes at you, wondering when the day would be when you bake him his favorite meals, when he gets to chase you around and make you giggle instead of chasing you like prey and making you scream.

He rubs up and down you arms soothingly with hot palms as you murmur and begin to wake up. You sit up from his chest and rub your eyes, yawning widely all the while.

It’s only when you focus on him smirking down at you that you jump back as if you’ve been electrocuted.

His smile drops at that.

You scowl at his proximity, mentally face-palming at how you could’ve been lulled to sleep so easily by this dickhead. It wasn’t even that cold, how could you have warmed up so easily to him?

A blast of icy air seemingly coming from nowhere settled over your bones and you shivered violently, rubbing your arms that were warm a minute ago.

Okay, maybe it was a bit cold. But you’d be damned if you willingly became vulnerable for him any more than you had to.

“Is someone tired?” He teased, his white teeth gleaming with his sickening grin.

“Whatever, I’m going to bed,” you mutter and avert your eyes, getting up to go upstairs.

“Good idea, I think I’ll come too.” You don’t need to turn around to hear the smug laughter in his voice, knowing full well that he was making fun of you.

You grumble and stalk upstairs with him right at your heels. At one point he lifts his gaze just to see your cute ass sashaying side-to-side with every step you took up.

He can’t help himself when he reaches a hand out and squeezes the flesh there, causing you to yelp and shoot up the stairs even faster.

Dabi shakes his head and snickers to himself, beelining after you to his quarters.

It’s a medium size-room, not meant for two people but that doesn’t stop him from cramming you in here every night.

You’re already glowering at his sheets, yanking them back and getting ready to dive in when a sudden thought strikes him.

“Have you eaten yet?” He leans against the door, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“Yes.” Comes your muddled answer from beneath the comforter.

You did not, in fact, eat anything for almost a day and a half. You couldn’t do it, your stomach was constantly in knots from his presence.

“Don’t lie to me,” his nostrils flare and he glares at you.

“I said I ate already.”

“Yeah? When exactly? ‘Cause if I remember right, i haven’t seen you leave my sight for almost 36 hours now, and none of that time includes when you ate.”

You stay silent, fuming underneath the covers. Why the hell was he so concerned about you? It pisses you off that he’s putting up a fake act of caring about you, just so that he feels less guilty about raping you.

He sighs and shifts to open the door. “Stop being such a bratty little shit. You were doing so well earlier, so keep it that way unless you wanna piss me off.”

Dabi turns the knob and takes a step out of the room. “I’ll ask you one last time before I choose myself- what do you wanna eat?”

“Eat shit.”

It’s so faint and muffled, but he hears it. His eyes widen marginally, his jaw clenches and the brass knob under his inflamed palm starts to steam and bubble.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“I said eat shit!” You throw the covers off and glare at him full on. “Stop pretending like you actually like me, or that you care about me. You’re a crazy fucking rapist, you’re not my father for gods’ sake, so stop trying to be this fake good person!”

The only sound around the room is your soft panting and the squeaking of bubbling metal. Then, it stop.

He steps forward, and speaks softly. “You want me to be the villain so bad?”

Another step forward, and you instinctively retract your legs from the edge of the bed.

“Fine. We’ll play your little game. You’re not leaving this room until I say so, or eating until I give you permission, since that’s what you wanted anyways. Wanna act like a stone cold bitch? Be my guest.”

His posture immediately relaxes, and his smug smile returns as he crosses the room to flip onto the bed.

You look at him in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?”

He turns over and scrolls through his phone.

There’s no way he’s serious. Is he actually planning on keeping you in this room? You’re already limited to the base as it is with him breathing down your back, no way in hell you’d tolerate even more confinement.

Just to check his bluff, you slowly slip off the bed and pad towards the door, one eye over your shoulder to check that he hadn’t turned around. But the second your hand outreaches for the disfigured blob of cooling metal on the door, a massive wave of blue flames lash out mere inches from your hand and between the knob.

You scream and clutch your hand, leaping backwards.

“What the fuck, Dabi?!”

He says nothing, but continues to smirk at his phone.

You take a deep breath and are about to try to open it again his his raspy voice calls out, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. My nursing skills aren’t as good as yours. And even if you do manage to sever your hand and try again, if you leave then I’ll personally make sure Shigaraki withdraws all your missions here on out.”

You pause at that, cursing under your breath. As much as you knew he’d never admit it to your face, your leader needed Dabi for long distance combat. He was the second most powerful member in the group, so his word was scripture after Shigaraki’s himself. He would do anything Dabi would say if it meant keeping him in the League. You, however, were expendable at the end of the day.

Sighing, you trudge your way back to the rickety bed, grumbling under your breath. He says nothing, simply continuing to scroll through his phone as if he didn’t blast hellfire at you seconds before.

Sleep did not come easily. Even after Dabi put his phone away, he didn’t press up against you like he usually did at night. The empty space behind you was growing colder and harder to ignore.

You tossed and turned for a couple minutes, contemplating what to do. Apparently he was serious when he said he wouldn’t let you leave the room until he said so. So when was he gonna give you the all-clear?

Your stomach rumbled loudly, and you winced clutching it. Damn it. If only you had taken up his offer instead of throwing a tantrum.

Finally, after an excruciating 10 minutes more of deafening silence save for your weeping stomach, you cave in.

“Dabi.”

Silence.

“Dabi, you awake?” You prop yourself up on an elbow and peek over his shoulder. His eyes are closed, but his chest is moving too fast for a slumber.

“Look, I’m...I’m sorry I didn’t listen, okay? I should’ve eaten when you told me to.”

Nothing again.

“Hey.” You lightly shake his shoulder, but no response comes from him.

You sigh in frustration, tapping your fingers on the pillowcase. Suddenly, an idea comes to you, but it makes your stomach recoil in disgust and quiet down its grumbling. Desperation is a bitch.

“Can I make it up to you...?”

And finally, he turns around to face you, one cheek propped against his palm, a lazy grin complimenting his salacious gaze.

“Well, why didn’t you just say so earlier doll?”

You grimace in disgust, mixed emotions at your plan working.

“So what exactly did you have in mind, hmm?” He pouts condescendingly down at you, and you grit your teeth before letting him in on it.

“Um, well..I thought maybe I could...um, y’know, like..I wanna, um...” Oh god. This was more embarrassing than you thought. How are you supposed to ask your captor if you can suck his dick? Usually he just took you fighting tooth and nail, you never fully submitted like this before.

And he knows it too, based on the way his eyes gleam in the silver moonlight and shadows of lust cross his face while looking at your wide eyes and bitten bottom lip, your fidgeting fingers showing nothing but needing pure guidance.

But this isn’t supposed to be easy, he doesn’t want you to feel comfortable, he wants you to feel bad and make it up to him.

To give you a little push, however, he gives toga slight hint as he sits up and leans back against the rickety bedrest, folding his arms behind his head.

“So, what’s it gonna be sweetheart? ‘Gonna stare at me like that all night or are you gonna tell me how you’re gonna make this up to me?”

You look up at him, conflicted for a moment before solidifying your resolve. You shyly reach out a hand and touch the outside of his thigh, slowly rubbing and moving it closer up to the tent in his pelvis.

Oh, this is precious.

“What?” He sneers. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. You were pushing me away earlier, but now you wanna suck my dick? Make up your mind, babe.”

You wince and continue, not backing down from his mean comment. You knew he wanted this, he expected this from you. That’s why even though he’s spitting venom from his lips, his hips are bucking up into your hand as you stroke over his member.

Your fingers move nimbly up and down, around and under his thighs and dick, with him softly cursing in the background as he grows harder and harder.

“Stop being a tease and get to sucking. It’s what you were made for, anyways,” Dabi’s low voice comes out from in between little moans.

Your hand shakes a little bit as you fumble with the drawstrings on his pj’s, and he snickers at your inexperience. When you finally free his length, it bounces out like its on fucking hydraulics, precum beading up at the tip, his shaft coated with an intimidation Jacob’s Ladder.

He watches you lick your lips and he groans under his breath. You’re nervous and scared, but he’s wondering whose heart is beating faster right now. The hand which you use to hesitantly start pumping him is so much softer than his own, and even though he’s gotten fairly accustomed to your body and the feel of it, the sensations multiply tenfold when you do it willingly for him.

Dabi has half a mind to shove your head down onto his shaft when he feels like you’re stalling with your hands, however good they feel. He wants to see you sloppy with saliva dribbling down your chin like a baby.

But he waits. As excruciatingly painful as it is, he wants to see what you’re like when you do things at your own pace, and at your own...comfort? If you can even call it that.

Finally, finally after caving in from his silent flower you get the idea to put it in your mouth.

Your face contorts in disgust as you slowly lower your head and latch your lips onto the slippery bulb, hollowing your cheeks out and sucking hard at the tip.

Dabi hisses and juts his hips up into your mouth, furiously chewing at his burnt lower lip as he holds back a pornographic moan. He knows you’d be startled and embarrassed by it, so he refrains...for now.

That doesn’t mean he’s not gonna tell you what to do, though.

“Yeah, just like that. Suck it like an ice-pop. No, don’t use your teeth idiot. And fondle my balls while you’re at it, too.”

Instructions pour into your ears, one after another as you fumble around trying to satiate his needs. You’re clumsy, which makes it even messier and hotter for him. Various fluids coat your hand and the lower half of your face as you work on him, doing exactly what he says. Sucking and kitten-licking the tip, even going so far as to dip your tongue into the crevice of his tiny hole and rapidly lick up the massive amounts of pre bubbling up after doing so, spiraling your tongue down the piercings and on his shaft until you circle around his balls. Your spit helps as lube to slick up his dick as you pump your hand while nursing on his plush balls.

Dabi, of course, has a hand woven through your hair and randomly jerks down on your head when you hit a good spot. You can tell he’s trying his best to hold back from his way his body and arms shake in self restraint, so you know it’s time to finish things up before his control snaps.

You start stroking him even faster, squeezing a little harder when you move up on his tip and massaging his balls. The soft schlick schlick sounds echo throughout the quiet room, the rustling of his sheets as his legs move to their own accord mute the thudding of both your hearts.

You can tell his orgasm is about to come from the way his cheeks puff up and his chest heaves. Pulling away is futile, as the second he sees recognition in your eyes he finally does what he’s been wanting to do, and slams your head all the way down his length.

He starts actually face-fucking you now, all 7 1/2 inches tightly cramming in your throat. You retch and cry out around his dick, trying to pull your head back but he’s not having it; he pounds the back of your canal and you swear you’ll wake up with a bruised esophagus in the morning.

“Fuck, fuckfuckfuck yes doll, fuck, just a little more, you’re doing so good, my little cumdump huh? You love me, yeah? Of course you do, of course you love your daddy, you’re never gonna leave me you’re gonna stay right here under me like the good little girl you are-“

Filth pours from his mouth as white ropes leave his cock, your already-filled throat flooding with his seed and leaking out of your strained mouth.

You squeeze your eyes shut as he waits for a moment or two, calming his breath down by taking deep inhales in place of his rapid panting. His breath deepens after a minute or two, but he still has an iron grip on the back of your head sealed so tight that the cum is trapped on the inside of your stretched lips.

“Mmmfh!” You cry out and beat at his knee. He finally looks down at focuses on you, squinting and laughing at your predicament.

“Aww what’s wrong, don’t wanna gargle my kids? Would you rather have them someplace else?” He shakes your head back and forth on his softening cock and more seed spills out over your mouth and around his groin.

You painfully pull your head up, and Dabi revels in how you look.

Teary-eyed, your hair a mess, cum and spit coating your mouth like a fucking whore.

You’ve never looked more beautiful to him than you have at that moment.

“Come on, clean me up,” he gestures to the mess on his body, and you grimace.

“Do I have to? I just did what you wanted me to-“

“I thought you were trying to make it up to me?” He raises an eyebrow and looks you up and down.

You sigh and try to do it quickly, ingesting the vile contents and avoiding his cruel grin.

After what seemed like a lifetime, you finish him off and flop down in bed, catching your breath.

“So, was that good enough? Can I go outside now?”

“It’s the middle of the night, where the hell would you go right now?” He fluffs up his pillow and pulls his pants back up, getting ready to actually sleep this time.

“Well, I mean yeah, but...you know what I mean, in the morning you’ll let me go out, right?”

He rolls over to face you, and you can’t decipher what emotion crosses his face as his position blocks out the moonlight. From his body rolled over, the light reflecting off the side of his head would almost make it seem like he had white hair.

“Who said anything about letting you go out?”

You gape at him for a moment, then chuckle nervously. “Come on, don’t freak me out like that. You said that if I made it up to you-“

“I said make it up to me, as in apologize for your bitchy attitude. I didn’t say anything about you leaving. You’re gonna have to do more than a shitty blowjob if you wanna leave this room.”

“Dabi!”

“What? I’m just complying with what you wanted. You didn’t wanna go with me, right? So, I’m playing by your rules.” He says simply, shrugging as if it’s no big deal.

Tears brim up in your eyes. “You’re an asshole.”

“Exactly. Which is why you’re not leaving until I say so.”

You turn over and scoot away from him, ignoring his scoff. But you suppose you couldn’t be too mad, after all.

You don’t know what you were expecting from a villain anyways.

#bnha #dabi smut #tw:dubcon #mha Dabi #dabi oneshot #touya todoroki #touya #bnha dabi #yandere dabi x reader #Dabi #dabi x reader

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junko-and-riri-domain · 3 years ago

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behind closed doors, away from your eyes | ot7

— pairing: enhypen ot7 x reader — genre: angst, headcannon (kinda?), scenarios — warnings: general mentions of deteriorating health conditions, a mention of lost of appetite (in jay’s), it’s all angst — w/c: idk — request: hello! could i request headcanons for enhypen with a gn!chronically ill s/o? like they have low stamina and chronic pain. thank you!! — requested by: anon — a/n:

lowercase intended + this isn’t really proofread. i kind of changed things up a bit and it’s more along the lines of enhypen after seeing reader “differently”

this has been in my drafts and i decided to post it today bc idk if posted a fic this week lol

i’ll be responding to asks later (or tomorrow) !! i’m dog sitting today :)

lee heeseung

a man who can do it all. “ace” has always been the persona attached to lee heeseung’s name. yet as he enters his apartment with the memories of your date still fresh in your mind, he can’t help but slam his fists against the door knowing that you were in so much pain yet there was nothing he could do to help you. he noticed the way you slowed down earlier when the two of you walked in the park, he noticed the way your hands shakily held his, and he noticed the way you are out of breath quicker than usual. he wanted nothing more than to take away your pain, to be the one feeling it instead of you, to be the one in your place. but no matter what he did, how many nights he stayed by your side, and however many times he held your hand, he just couldn’t. his phone ringing brings him out of his thoughts, quickly he answers your FaceTime call with a smile.

lee heeseung, a man who can do it all — even faking a smile in front of the one he loves the most.

rest of the boys under the cut !!

park jongseong / jay

as the life of the party, being with you was no different. jay liked the way you rolled your eyes before laughing at one of his jokes or your eyes shone before you smiled at his attempts to do aegyo. but earlier today,

“jay, i'm just not hungry right now,” you said with a frown. you were thankful for his efforts but despite all the food in front of you that jay had cooked, you didn’t feel like eating.

“where does it hurt? can i give you a massage?” he offered. you shook your head no,

“can you just take me home please?”

after taking you home and heading back to his own, jay threw out the food, sighing as he did so. he didn’t know what to do anymore, he knew that there wasn’t anything he really could do aside from being a part of your support system but the days that he felt you slipping away with him, he wished you’d take him with you, into the depths of your mind just as how you were in his. instead, all he could do was be there in the ways that you’d allow him to.

park jay, the life of the party — even if it was a party of one.

sim jaeyun / jake

saturdays were the days you and jake went on a walking layla date but today, he was doing it alone. you were in bed and told him to take layla and not wanting to press you on any further, he simply kissed the top of your head and told you that breakfast was waiting on the counter whenever you ready for it, jake knew you never liked it when he saw you in pain, you were stubborn and tried to hide it from him.

sim jake has always been known as the icon of growth — yet how can a relationship grow when both parties continue to run?

park sunghoon

sunghoon entered his apartment, eyes nearly brimming to tears as he ran his hands through his hair. he could get over many things and act indifferent towards other people but when it came to you things were different. he knew he had to keep himself under control, couldn’t lose his composure around you, but it was hard especially after seeing your eyes nearly lifeless, exhaustion written all over your face.

you had asked him to spend the night sleeping over but he left after dinner with you and your parents. he knew that he should’ve stayed but staying would’ve resulted in him admitting feelings he wasn’t quite ready to yet so he left instead.

park sunghoon, indifferent and a man made of ice — but that ice was starting to melt by the heat of reality.

kim sunoo

as the sunshine to thousands if not millions of people things were different with you. because with you kim sunoo didn’t need to be bright and bubbly, he could just be himself plain and simple. you were the reason he smiled, the reason he laughed, and the reason he enjoyed life.

yet after seeing you in the hospital tonight, it was another side that he hadn’t quite realized its impacts. despite your tiredness, you still smiled at him, you still told your corny little jokes in an attempt to get him to laugh, and you had made him realized just how short life could be. there was no tine like the present yet he asked himself, would you two still continue to be able to enjoy the privilege of the present?

yang jungwon

as someone who became the leader at such a young age, it’s safe to say that yang jungwon has faced a lot of pressure in his life. yet nothing could compare to the pressure he felt when you nearly collapsed on him while cooking curry in the kitchen and he brought you to your room. he was completely and utterly 100% lost as to what to do. he followed your instructions the best that he could but it wasn’t until your parents came back home that he was finally relieved.

yet despite the brief relief that washed over him, when he got back to his own home his mind was wracked with thoughts and questions as to what to do and how to help you. and he wondered, could he handle it?

nishimura riki / ni-ki

you had told ni-ki of your illness from the start but he had never really seen the way it truly affected you until your date today. you two had gone to festival to take pictures and eat street food together but when you weren’t feeling well and pain started to attack, you two had to leave early. so he took you home, made you some tea the way jay had taught him, made you laugh a little, and stayed until you finally fell asleep.

if anything, ni-ki couldn’t quite comprehend how this had happened, his mind trying to wrap itself around the situation and the differences. the sight of your once smiling face turning into one of discomfort and pain was a sight he never wanted to see and wanted to prevent in all the ways that he could. he didn’t quite know how to deal, unsure as to how to sort out his feelings because he was still so young.

❦ written by riri ( @enhykkul ) | main blog masterlist | blog navi

↬ taglist: @markleepooh | @sunshineshouchan | @cha-raena | @changmin-wrlds (permanent taglist open)

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pitubea1910 · 4 years ago

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Ready

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Featuring: Avengers

Word count: 5k

Warning: some swearing, alcohol, mention of sex, a bit of teasing.

Tags: -

Request: -

Notes: -

Masterlist

A few months ago, you and nine other recruits received a phone call saying to be at the training facilities first time in the morning. Once you got there, you were told that you would be receiving extra training, long hours and double effort. Whenever you asked why, they just said it was classified.

After two months of training ten hours per day, seven days a week, being put through several trials and tests, you were called to the office of Maria Hill –the head of all the recruitment process-. To your surprise, she wasn’t alone when you got there: Nick Fury was there.

You had never met him in person, although you had heard many stories about him. And his presence was as intimidating as you imagined. Or even more. He had a deep voice that shook to your core, a way of talking that let you know he was someone not to mess with, he owned S.H.I.E.L.D and he knew it.

“Agent (Y/L/N)”, Hill started as soon as you took a seat after recovering from the surprise of finding Nick Fury in the room. “Let me introduce you to Nicholas Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Yeah, I know who… he is”, you said with a small smile. There was no one around the facility who didn’t know who this man was. Maria Hill smiled too.

“Nice to meet you, Agent (Y/L/N)”, Fury said. “I have been following your training for the last two months quite closely.”

Your felt your mouth go dry. He had been following your training?

“And I have to say it is quite impressive”, he added. He took a tablet from Hill’s desk and swiped the screen a couple of times. “When it comes to strategy there’s no one who can beat you, you’re strong, fast, your combat skills could be a match for Black Widow’s… definitely impressive.”

“Thank you, sir”, was all you could say. You knew you were good, but you never thought you would be good enough to hear it from Nick Fury himself. He was a legend.

“As you know, these last two months we have been testing you on a daily basis”, Hill said and you nodded. Of course you knew. You could feel it in every bone and muscle in your body. “What you don’t know is why.”

“And I guess you’re going to tell me?” You asked, looking at the two of them.

Fury put the tablet back on the desk without taking his eye off you. You would be lying if you said he didn’t make you nervous, but you had the feeling that looking away wouldn’t help you there, so you were determined to hold his eye. After a few minutes, you thought you could see a hint of smile on Fury’s lips, but you probably just imagined it.

“The Avengers have requested a new member for their team”, he simply said.

If you had been drinking something, you would have choked on it or spitted out for sure. Out of all the things you thought this meeting was about, the last thing you expected was something like this.

“The Avengers?” You asked. “As in… Captain America, Black Widow and Iron Man?”

“Are there any other Avengers that we don’t know of?” Fury asked with a teasing tone.

“Fair enough”, you mumbled.

“We chose 10 candidates and we have been putting you through tests and trials without telling you why”, Hill said now taking the tablet and showing you some graphics. “All of you started off with enthusiasm, showing the best results you had got since you got recruited. However, as the weeks passed, most of your colleagues’ performance started to deteriorate.”

“We had meetings with them”, Fury said. “We asked if there was something wrong, why this change when they had proven to be among the best of their class. They said that they were tired. That they didn’t know what was going on, what was the point of all this suffering.”

“I never got any meeting”, you said.

“Because your performance only got better”, Hill said, showing you a graphic with your name on it. “You have been the only one who, despite not having a purpose, a goal, not knowing what was going on, kept on working as hard as you did on the first day.”

“And that, Agent (Y/L/N)”, Fury said, “is exactly what we need. Someone who won’t fail, who won’t slow down, who will be there every day no matter what, with the same spirit as the first day. However, as much as we thought you are the perfect candidate, we are not the ones who have the final say.”

“Then?” You asked confused.

“We sent all of your files to The Avengers, with all the progress of the last two months. And they have made a decision. They want you, Agent (Y/L/N).”

A week later you packed all of your belongings in a suitcase and left the S.H.I.E.L.D HQ in a black SUV to move into The Avengers Headquarters in Upstate New York. Their welcome had been incredible. Since the very first moment you walked in the residential quarters of the huge compound, you were warmly welcomed by the team.

It took you a time to get used to your new life. You still had to train every day and soon you found out that it was a harder training than the one you did as a simple recruit. Obviously, they didn’t hold their punches. At first, you ended up at the infirmary most of the days, but eventually you started getting stronger and getting used to this new way of fighting. There was less theory and more instinct. And, soon enough, you started going on missions.

At first, they would be recon missions, nothing major. However, in a few months you proved yourself to be able to do more. You would never forget your first mission with Steve, Tony, Bucky and Natasha. It was the most exciting, exhausting and hard day of your life and, despite coming back injured, everyone kept on telling you how amazed they were by you, your work and your skills.

They took care of you, visited you every day until you got better, helped with your recovery and to get back on your feet in no time. You had found a family in them and it looked like they saw you as one of them now.

“You know what day is it tomorrow?” You asked when you walked into the kitchen.

You had just finished your training and had walked into the kitchen to have a smoothie. As usual, since you had the same training hours scheduled, Bucky was there as well.

Since the beginning, you had started training with Bucky as your mentor. You didn’t really fight against him, since he could knock you out without even trying, but he was there to observe and correct, give you advice, put more weight on your weights and push your limits.

When you first started training with him, he wouldn’t talk much. But, eventually, he started opening up and you gladly discovered that underneath all that sulking attitude was a really funny, easy going, teasing and loving kind of guy.

You spent so much time together that soon you found yourself looking around for him every time you walked into a room, sitting in front of him in every meal, next to him every time you would watch a movie, spending hours in his room just talking or playing videogames. You just couldn’t picture your life without him in it anymore.

“Saturday?” He said, throwing a bottle of water at you, which you caught without problem.

“Something else?” You asked, unscrewing the cap. Bucky thought for a moment and shook his head. “Really? I should be offended. A year ago, your life changed.”

“Did it?” He asked, a smirk forming on his lips. You narrowed your eyes and threw the cap of the bottle at him. He laughed and dodged it. “I know, I know. It will be a year since the most annoying person in the world walked through those doors with that lost puppy look on her face.”

“I wasn’t lost!” You exclaimed.

“So you’re annoying?” He teased.

“Not as much as you are”, you said and stuck your tongue out. “Maybe we should celebrate.”

“Why?”

“When was the last time someone put up with you for so long?” This time, he was the one narrowing his eyes at you, which made you laugh. “But seriously, it doesn’t have to be a party. But we could have a drink all together or something.”

“Ask Tony”, Bucky said. “He will organise anything in the next 45 minutes.”

“Good point”, you said nodding your head. “I’ll talk to him.”

You were about to walk out of the kitchen, fully intending to talk to Tony as soon as possible, when Bucky called your name. You turned around to find him walking over you.

“Yes?” You asked.

Once he was standing in front of you, he sighed and moved some hair that had flown out of your ponytail and put it behind your ear. He caressed your cheek and looked into your eyes, making your heart beat louder and faster. You took a deep breath, trying not to look down at his lips.

“A year ago, I met the most important person in my life”, he said. “She’s strong, funny, annoying as hell and incredibly oblivious. But I wouldn’t change her for anything.”

He leaned in and kissed your cheek softly before winking an eye at you and walking out of the kitchen, leaving you flustered, confused and on the edge of fainting.

***

Just like Bucky had said, as soon as you said to Tony that you would like to have a little celebration, he took out his phone and started organising a little party. You made it clear that you didn’t want or need anything big, but once Tony started organising a party there was no way of knowing the size of it until you were in it.

“I thought you didn’t want anything big”, Bucky said when you stepped into the main living room of the residential quarters the following evening.

Looking around, you barely knew anyone. You had no idea how Tony had managed to pull this out in such short notice. There was people everywhere, food, alcohol music and banners everywhere saying ‘Happy Avengesary (Y/N)’. It was incredible.

“This is what happens when you leave Tony in charge”, Steve, who walked in after you two, said.

“I’m not complaining”, Natasha said with a huge smile as she looked around. “See you later guys.”

“Where is she going?” You asked, looking at her as she got lost in the crowd.

“She has seen that IT guy she likes”, Steve said with a chuckle.

“I say we make the best out of this and get a drink”, Sam said.

“And that’s the most intelligent idea I have heard so far”, you said and took Sam’s hand to follow him through the crowd.

The bartenders that Tony had hired knew exactly who you were and the reason you were having this celebration. So the moment they saw you, they made sure you had a drink in your hand without even asking for it. It looked like Tony had told them what you liked.

The next couple of hours went by in a blur. Despite not knowing most of the people in the party, it was obvious that they knew who you were and many kept on stopping you to congratulate you on the work you had been doing the past year or just to take a photo with you. Definitely, that was something you would never get used to: being a public figure.

When you finally managed to sit down on the couch, next to Bucky, you didn’t even know how many hands you had shaken, how many photos you had taken and how many hugs you had given. But your mind was buzzing.

“How you doing, superstar?” Bucky smiled when you let yourself fall on the couch.

“Exhausted”, you admitted.

“It will wear off, don’t worry”, Sam said, patting your shoulder. “Once they get used to you, they won’t pay much attention.”

“Unless you’re Captain America or Thor, of course”, Clint winked.

“Shut up”, Steve rolled his eyes.

“It took us an hour to get some milk from the grocery store”, Clint said. “An hour because people kept on asking Steve for photos and autographs.”

“One would think that after a century, no one would be impressed by Captain America right?” Sam laughed.

“It’s not Captain America”, you said. “It’s… you.”

“What?” Steve asked confused, which made you laugh.

“Are you really that oblivious?” Wanda laughed as well.

“You’re a specimen, man”, Sam winked playfully, making you all laugh.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that”, Steve said as you could all see him blushing.

“Oh, trust me. It is”, you said. “Everyone has a crush on Captain America”, you added.

“Do you?” Bucky asked, his arm casually over the back of the couch and your shoulders.

“Don’t you?” You asked back with a laugh.

“I saw him putting newspaper in his shoes to look taller”, Bucky shrugged. “It’s kind of a turn off.”

“So that means that there is a turn on?” Clint asked wiggling his eyebrows.

“There’s always at least one turn on”, you smirked.

“Oh really?” Bucky smirked. “What turns you on, (Y/L/N)?”

“Right back at you, Barnes”, you said, looking at him with a playful smile.

“Okay, this just gave me an idea!” Sam said.

You forced yourself to look away from Bucky, whose eyes were burning through yours. You had felt that electricity running between you two many times before, but you had never felt the heat you felt at the moment. So you needed to focus on something else beside the warmth of his body next to yours.

“Please, enlighten us”, Natasha said.

“What about an old good game of Truth or Dare?” He suggested. You laughed out loud, just like Wanda and Natasha.

“Are we 16 now?” Steve said, although he didn’t look like he rejected the idea completely.

“Afraid of airing your dirty laundry, Rogers?” Clint asked.

“I have no dirty laundry to air”, the alluded said with an innocent smile.

“Yeah right”, Natasha laughed. “Okay, let’s do this”, she said.

“Seriously?” You asked.

“Why not?” Natasha shrugged. “It’s always fun to get to know each other in different ways”, she winked.

You sighed and shrugged. It looked like you didn’t have a choice. As soon as you all agreed, Sam asked a waiter to bring a couple of bottles of tequila, shot glasses for everyone and an empty bottle. In addition, Bucky he asked for a bottle of the Asgardian liquor Steve and Bucky used to drink in these situations.

“It’s no fun if two of us can’t get drunk”, he explained once they brought the small bottle and everything was settled.

“Fair enough”, you laughed. “Okay, who goes first?” You asked.

“You’re the honouree, so…” Sam said.

“Okay”, you laughed and spun the bottle that stopped pointing at Sam, who smiled widely at you. “Truth or dare?”

“Let’s start with a truth”, Sam said.

“Have you ever practised kissing in a mirror?” You smiled.

“First, that’s a lame question. Second… yes”, he admitted, making you all laugh. “I was 10, okay? And I was nervous about a potential first kiss”, he shrugged.

“That’s cute”, you admitted still laughing.

“Okay, here we go”, Sam spun the bottle and this time it landed on Bucky.

“Truth”, Bucky quickly said.

“Mmm…” Sam smirked after looking at you for a brief second. “Would you make out with someone in this group?”

Bucky looked at Sam like he wanted to kill him and you felt him tense up beside you. You looked up to him although his eyes were fixed on Sam, whose smiled only grew bigger.

“You can always drink. Although that will give us half an answer”, Sam shrugged.

“I would”, Bucky finally said. You raised both eyebrows and looked up again, surprised.

“With who?” You asked.

“That’s not part of the question, doll”, Bucky winked before spinning the bottle, which landed on Natasha. Yet, you didn’t stop thinking about it.

“Dare, of course”, she shrugged.

“I dare you to go to that IT guy and ask him out”, Bucky smiled.

“You know I don’t ask out”, Natasha said.

“Is Black Widow backing off a dare?” Clint smiled.

Natasha narrowed her eyes, her pride obviously taken the best of her. Immediately, she got up and you all looked at her while she walked up to the IT guy. It was a quick conversation and, by the end of it, the guy looked like was about to marry her while she came back with her face as red as her hair.

“I’ll get back at you, Barnes”, she said, spinning the bottle.

There were all kind of dares and questions. The more you drank, the juicier they got without even realising it. At some point, Steve was playing without his shirt –to the delight of many of the guests-, Clint was speaking only with the vowel E, Wanda was wearing Natasha’s clothes and viceversa and you were on your pyjamas.

“Okay, let’s go”, Natasha said when it was her turn to spin the bottle after reading out loud the last text she had sent –Rated X-. “Finally!” She said when it landed on Bucky. “Barnes?”

All along, every time it was Bucky’s turn, there had been numerous hints of him liking someone, someone he would sleep with, his crush, but no name had come out of his mouth. You didn’t even know Bucky liked someone, which was strange since you spent so much time together, and to say you were curious was a misunderstanding.

“Truth”, he said.

“Playing it safe, huh?” Natasha smiled.

“You’re a dangerous woman, Romanoff”, Bucky said, his fingers brushing your shoulder absently.

“Fine. Have it your way”, she said. “Is (Y/N) the one you’ve been talking about all along? The one you would make out with, sleep with, have a crush on?”

Bucky’s whole body tensed up, just like yours, with that question. It was obvious she had been saving it for quite a long time and it looked like everyone was waiting for someone to drop the bomb. They all looked at Bucky smiling a little, as if they knew something you ignored, waiting.

“Damn you, Natasha”, Bucky finally chuckled.

“Would you prefer a dare?” She smiled widely.

“I don’t trust your dares”, Bucky said.

“Then… answer or drink. Although… drinking would be an answer itself”, she innocently shrugged and winked an eye at him.

You saw Bucky biting his lower lip without looking at you, his eyes fixed on Nat, as he was deliberately trying not to look at you. Your heart was pounding in your ears and you swore you would explode if he didn’t say something soon.

“Yes”, he finally said, taking your breath away. “She is”

And he spun the bottle.

***

The game was finished in no time after that moment. Although you didn’t pay any attention to it anymore. All you could do was look at Bucky, waiting for him to look at you and explain what he had just said. However, all he did was smirking whenever he felt his eyes on you.

“Okay, come here”, he said once everyone had scattered around.

He took your hand and took you through the crowd. You didn’t know where he would take you until he scanned his finger print on the door that lead to Tony’s office. He let you walked in first and looked around to make sure no one was looking before closing the door.

“What was that?” You finally asked after a few moments.

“Do I really need to explain?” He smiled, getting closer to you which only made you nervous.

“I think? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” You asked.

“When would I say anything? When I was kicking your ass during training?” He asked.

“You don’t kick my ass”, you said. “We never even fight against each other because you’re too afraid of me kicking your ass”, you added, crossing your arms.

“You’re so damn blind”, he laughed shaking his head. “I don’t fight you because I would never forgive myself if I ever hurt you. Even if it happened during training.”

You blinked a few times and looked away, trying so hard not to blush and failing completely. He was now so close that you could even feel his breath on you. It wasn’t the first time he was this close, but it was the first time it made you so nervous.

“That’s just another way of saying it”, you mumbled.

Bucky placed his index finger on your chin to make you look up at him and to his eyes before rubbing your cheek softly. His eyes moved down to your lips, just like yours to his, just in time to see him biting his bottom lip. Your breath got caught in your throat and an urgent need to kiss him overcame you.

“You drive me insane in every possible way, (Y/L/N)”, he said leaning in. You closed your eyes instinctively but his kiss never came. “But you’re not ready for it yet.”

You opened your eyes to see him slowly walking backwards, with a smirk on his face.

“What…? What are you doing?” You asked breathless.

“I could kiss you right now and make you realise that you feel the same way about me”, he said, a hand on the doorknob. “But I have decided that, if I have waited a year, I can wait a few more days and make you want it, drive you crazy just like you do with me.”

“Don’t walk away, James. Don’t you dare”, you said.

“See you later, doll”, he said.

Before you could even take a step forward, he opened the door and walked out the office, leaving you with your mouth open and your brain completely melted.

What the hell had just happened?

You had to take some time before you went back out to the party. Your heart had never beat like this. It felt like it would jump out of your chest at any given time and getting it back to ‘normal’ wasn’t easy.

When you finally made your way back out, you spotted Bucky at the bar, talking to Steve. When he saw you, his eyes were on you for a moment, while his lips formed a smug smirk, and then looked back at his friend to continue the conversation. All you wanted to do was go and punch him in that perfect face to kiss him afterwards. Or maybe kiss him first and punch later. You were confused.

The rest of the night you were completely unfocused. It felt like you couldn’t hold a single conversation, like you were zooming in and out all the time, looking around for Bucky and imagining his lips, hands, body on yours. In the end, you decided to leave the party earlier than expected. It wasn’t like anyone would notice, since most of the guests were too drunk to pay any more attention to you.

Once in your room and in your pyjamas –an oversize t-shirt and your underwear-, you laid on your bed and looked at the ceiling, thinking about what the hell had happened and trying to process how you felt about it.

It would be a huge lie to say that you didn’t have feelings for Bucky. You knew they had always been there, but you had always considered them platonic. He was one of the most attractive men you ever met and he was also kind, funny, witty, smart and incredibly thoughtful. You would have never thought he felt the same way about you. You thought all those times he flirted with you, it was just a game to him. Maybe you had been wrong.

You didn’t even know when you had fallen asleep, but when you opened your eyes, you heard the rain against the huge window of your room. You sighed and rubbed your eyes, your mind immediately racing as memories from last night flooded your head. Damn James Buchanan Barnes.

When you heard the buzzing of your phone, you sighed and picked it up from the bedside table to find a text message from the man himself.

“Training in 10 minutes”, the text said. He had to be kidding you. It was Sunday.

And did he really think he could just act like nothing?

“Sorry. As someone said to me last night: I’m not ready yet”, you texted back.

He read the text immediately, but it took him a little while to reply.

“If you’re not in the training room in 10 minutes, I’ll drag you there myself”, you shivered, knowing he fully intended to act on his threat. But you weren’t going to just do as he told you.

“Didn’t you say I drive you insane? Then good luck, babe”, you texted, smirking to yourself as you pictured the look on his face.

You knew what was going to happen. Maybe you were pushing him a bit, but you weren’t going to let him dictate what to do or when to get up. Especially after how flustered and frustrated he had left you the previous night.

Yes, you were dying to kiss him. That was all you could think about since last night. But, unless you were mistaken, he wanted that kiss as much as you did and you were going to get it, even if you had to drive him insane.

At first, you thought he would go to your room immediately, but it looked like he really waited those 10 minutes in case you showed up. Or maybe he was just waiting outside of your room, because exactly 11 minutes later, there was a knock on your room. You smiled to yourself and stretched out still in bed, but didn’t move.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you please tell him that I am not training today?” You said to the A.I.

“You know I can hear you, right?” You heard Bucky’s voice on the other side of the room.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you please ask Tony to make the rooms soundproof? That would be extremely useful for certain people”, you said.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, open (Y/N)’s door, please”, Bucky said.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Each room has its own personal protocols and can only be lifted with the permission of said owner”, the A.I said, which made you smile.

“Too bad, soldier”, you said.

“You know I can just kick him in, right?”

You narrowed your eyes, looking at the ceiling. You knew he could, but did you want to push him until that point? It could be fun, but you didn’t want to deal with Tony afterwards. You knew how much he hated when doors got kicked in –something that happened surprisingly often in the compound-.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, unlock the door, please”, you finally said.

The A.I. obeyed and unlocked the door. In a second, Bucky walked in and closed behind him. You looked at him from the bed, still not moving, and smiled. He was wearing his usual training gear –black sweatpants and a black t-shirt- and was looking at you with an eyebrow raised, waiting.

“Do you need anything?” You asked.

“You were supposed to be in the gym 5 minutes ago”, he said with his arms crossed.

“Yeah, well…” you stretched out again, making sure your t-shirt went up a few inches, enough to let him see your underwear and belly. “I’m kind of having a lazy day”, you said with a smile as you saw his eyes on your exposed skin.

“I know what you’re doing”, he said. You raised both eyebrows.

“And what is it?” You asked innocently.

“Pushing me”, he said.

“Don’t be so egocentric, Barnes”, you said. “Not everything is around you.”

“Oh really?” He said.

Slowly, he walked around the bed, taking a seat just next to you. You got nervous when he leaned in, placing one hand around you to support himself as he got closer. You looked at his lips and then his eyes, which hide the smile he forced himself not to show.

“Tell me you haven’t been thinking about kissing me since last night”, he said in a low voice.

“I…” you mumbled, your eyes moving down to his lips, which finally curved up into a small smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Are you going to tell me that if I kissed you right now…” he said, almost brushing your lips with his, “you wouldn’t melt against me?”

You took a deep breath through your nose, trying to control your heart rate, which felt close to impossible. All about him was overwhelming and you had no idea how to manage his closeness. You just wanted to grab him by the neck and kiss him. However, it looked as if he was reading your mind. Just when you were about to move your hands, he moved his and pinned your wrists against the bed.

“Gym. 5 minutes”, he whispered so close that you thought you would die if he didn’t kiss you.

Then, he just let go, got up and walked to the door. You couldn’t believe this was the second time in less than twelve hours that he was going to leave you like this. You looked at the door to see him smirking before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed, punching the mattress.

Five minutes later, you walked through the doors of the gym, still sulking and flustered. You had been quickly to put some leggings and a training top. If Bucky wasn’t going to give in or let you kiss him, you needed some other way to let your frustration out. Fighting.

“Maybe today we can try something different”, you said to Bucky, acting as if nothing had happened, as if your mind wasn’t full of imaged of him kissing your whole body.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” Bucky asked while he adjusted the punching bag.

“Why don’t we fight?” You asked. Bucky laughed quietly and shook his head. “What?”

“Have you warmed up?” He asked.

“I’m warm enough, thank you” you said making him smile. Anyway, you started stretching since you didn’t want to pull any muscle or cause any injury. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“You know I’m not going to fight you, doll”, he said, taking the bandages from the floor. “I could hurt you.”

Your eyes went to his hand as he started wrapping the bandages around it, wrapping it tightly. You had always loved watching that routine. There was something about the way he moved his hands, how he wrapped the bandages around them that was hypnotizing.

“You won’t”, you said, coming out of your little trance.

“How do you know it?” He asked.

“Because I trust you”, you shrugged. He looked at you for a moment and smiled.

“You just want an excuse to hit me because you’re frustrated”, he said.

“That’s just a bonus”, you shrugged and took the other pair of bandages from the floor when you finished stretching. “I really think it would be helpful to fight against an actual person and not just a bag.”

“You have fought against Natasha, Wanda, Peter, Scott and Clint many times”, he said.

You sighed while you wrapped the bandage around your left hand. You knew him well enough to know he wasn’t going to change his mind. It wasn’t the first time you had this conversation and you understood his fear of hurting you, but you really wanted to punch him. Maybe if you caught him by surprise?

When you finished wrapping your hands, you looked at him. He was checking his own bandages and looked kind of focused on it. Without even taking a minute to consider your next move, you quickly took a step forward and threw your leg up to his stomach. To your surprise, your kick caught him completely off guard. Unfortunately, you weren’t strong enough to make him fall, but he took a few steps back with a hand against his stomach.

“What was that?” He asked with an amused smile.

“If you don’t want to fight me, okay”, you shrugged. “I’ll fight you.”

“Stop before you get hurt”, he said.

“Stop patronising me”, you said through gritted teeth.

Quickly, you launched against him, but he just took your arm before it came in contact with him and pushed you aside as if you were a mundane annoying fly. You groaned to yourself and turned to look at him. He looked at you smiling, which only infuriated you even more.

“It’s just facts, doll”, he shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes but decided to launch again. This time, you went for his face, but he grabbed your arm and twisted so your back was against his chest. You took a deep breath at the contact when his lips were on your cheek.

“Stop”, he whispered and nibbled your neck.

With a grunt, you stomped your heel against his feet. He hissed, which was enough for you to drive your elbow against his ribs and your fist against his nose when he leaned down breathless. You hooked your arms around his neck and used your weight to bring him down, straddling his waist and pinning his arms to the ground.

You knew how easily he could just turn the situation around, but maybe he didn’t expect to find himself like this so easily and all he did was looking at you with a smile playing on his lips.

“What are you going to do now, (Y/L/N)?” He asked.

If you were honest to yourself, you just wanted to tease him like he had teased you. But you also knew you weren’t strong enough, not after last night and that morning. You bite your lip and leaned down, wondering if this time he would finally give in. He didn’t move, but his eyes turned a bit darker as his eyes moved down to your lips.

“I should just leave you wanting it”, you whispered against his lips. He chuckled a little.

“You wouldn’t make it to the door”, he warned you. You knew it was true.

You let go of one of his hands, which quickly moved to your hair, moving it out of the way. You took a deep breath, enjoying the moment, before finally closing the distance between your lips.

The moment your lips touched, you let go of his other hand. Immediately, Bucky flipped you around to have you pinned under him and kiss you deeply. You wrapped your legs around his waist in an attempt to bring him impossibly close to you. A moan escaped his throat, making you smirk against his lips while your hands sneaked under his t-shirt and brushed his warm skin.

You wanted him. Badly. But, of course, he wasn’t going to give you everything in just a moment, let alone on the gym floor. Instead, he pulled away after a few minutes and looked at you.

“You always get your way, huh?” He whispered, gently brushing your nose with his, a gesture you never saw coming from the big and fiery Winter Soldier.

“I have my skills”, you smiled.

With a smile, Bucky got up and helped you up as well, although he didn’t move away from you. He caressed your cheek and kissed your forehead.

“What now?” You asked a bit nervous.

“Maybe we should start with breakfast?” He suggested.

You laughed nervously and nodded, letting him take your hand and lead you out of the gym while all you could think about was kissing him all over again. Maybe over breakfast.

421 notes · View notes

serasvictoria · 3 years ago

Text

Stupid Games - Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: Ubbe x Reader, Hvitserk x Reader, Hvitserk x Reader x Ubbe

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Double penetration (it was kind of unavoidable I think?)

Word Count: 12.846 total

Summary: You used to live next to the Lothbroks when you were younger, but you moved away and haven't seen them since. A wedding brings you back to town after many years and during a bachelorette party you run into the brothers again.

Notes: Part two! What else can I say? More smut.

The movie that I mention in one paragraph is Y tu mamá también which is an excellent movie that I cannot recommend enough.

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three (Part 1)

Screencap provided by @underragingwaves. Other images from Pinterest.

Tagging @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @ritual-unions-gotme @vikingstrash @pomegranates-and-blood @quantumlocked310 @adrille88 @actual-queen-of-hell @youbloodymadgenius @punkrocknpearls @zuxiezendler

*****

You woke up wedged between two bodies the next morning. Ubbe was on his back and your head was resting on his chest, your leg shoved in between his thighs and your hand draped around his waist. Hvitserk lay sprawled out on top of you, head pressed against your shoulder and you could feel him drooling all over you. He had his leg over your hip and when you looked down, you saw that it was also wrapped over his older brother’s thigh.

If you didn’t know them so well, you might find this entire sleeping arrangement odd, but the relationship that they had with each other had always been overly familiar. Even as teenagers, seeing Hvitserk and Ubbe pressed closely against each other’s side during movie nights had been fairly normal. They also constantly pressed their foreheads together and they never cared who saw them do it either.

They were very comfortable around each other so why should you feel otherwise? And that knowledge combined with what had happened last night, made you wonder how often they had done something like this before.

For some reason you thought about a movie that you had seen once, which centered around the friendship between two Mexican boys and a road trip that they have with an older woman. The movie was incredibly sexy and very sad at the same time. The relationship between the boys deteriorated throughout the movie with jealousy and betrayal at the heart of it all, but at the end, fueled by alcohol, all three of them end up in bed together and after a kiss between the two male leads, it is very much left up to the imagination of the viewer what actually happened. Odd that you would think of such a sad movie at a time like this, while laying in between these two.

Ubbe shifted underneath you and you heard a low chuckle before his hand shot out, connecting sharply with skin. Only it wasn’t your skin...

“Serk!” Ubbe groaned and you felt Hvitserk move. “Get off of her.”

“No.” Hvitserk’s voice sounded sluggish, his lips moving over your shoulder blade as he spoke. Then his hips jerked up against your ass, his growing erection pressed in between the tops of your thighs and you felt his lips creep up into a smile. “Why’d you hit me?”

“Thought it was sleeping beauty over here.” Ubbe tickled your side and made you snort with laughter. “Didn’t know you were on top of her.”

“You didn’t notice that I was a lot heavier than I was last night?” you asked him. “I know that your brother isn’t exactly a heavy weight, but the weight of us combined should have told you that it wasn’t just me that was on top of you.”

“It’s still early.”

“You’re an idiot, Ubbe.” Hvitserk started laughing uncontrollably and you could feel him shift as he started kissing a trail from your shoulder up to your neck. “All bulk and no brain. Sad really.”

“You did not just say that.” Ubbe’s arm reached around you to shove Hvitserk off of you and seconds later you were on your back as Ubbe pinned you underneath him. “Anything else you wanted to say?”

“At least you’re easy on the eye so you’ve got that going for you.” You squealed with laughter when his lips descended on your shoulder and he started biting you. “Stop!”

“No.” Ubbe tried to make his voice sound low and threatening, but you could hear the obvious amusement in his tone. “You deserve this. Bad girls need to be taught a lesson.”

“I didn’t lie. I just thought that you deserved to be told the truth,” you replied defiantly, only for your words to grow higher pitched the harder he bit you. “Are you marking me?”

“He is.” When you turned your head in the direction of Hvitserk’s voice, you saw him lying on his side next to you, head propped up with his arm and his other hand lazily stroking his cock. “You’re such a child, brother.”

“Takes one to know one.” Ubbe’s words sounded muffled because he hadn’t pulled his mouth away from your neck yet. “Do you yield?”

“I don’t know. I think I got this one in the bag.” One of his hands connected with your thigh sharply and you yelped. “I can still win this thing, big guy.”

Ubbe pulled away from you and flipped you on your stomach in a flash. His palm came down on your right ass cheek almost instantly. Then his hand connected with the other cheek and the sound of him spanking you started echoing through the room. You pushed your hips up off the bed to provide him better access and pressed your face into a pillow to muffle your cries.

There was another hand on your arm, belonging to Hvitserk, his caress comforting. His gentle touch combined with what his older brother was doing to your behind was giving you a delicious mix of sensations. Hvitserk shoved his hand underneath your chest suddenly, fingers seeking out the nipple closest to him and his fingernails dug into your pliant flesh.

Twisting your head to the side, you cried out, “Enough with the foreplay! Someone fuck me already!”

There was one final slap on your ass, harder than the ones that had preceded it, and then Ubbe’s hand slipped between your thighs to cup your sex. You pressed back against his hand, low moan escaping from your lips when he found you sufficiently wet and then he was gone.

“You’re ready,” he grunted from your side and you sat up on your knees to see him lying next to you, settled on his back with his arms folded behind his head. “Come on then.”

“Lazy bastard.” Your eyes flicked down to his groin and his cock was already proudly standing at attention. “What happens if I refuse?” Ubbe shot up, wrapped his hand around your upper arm and fixed you with such a powerful stare that you stopped breathing. It also made all your heart rate increase so much that you thought that your heart might burst out of your chest at any second. “Damn, Ubbe,” you finally breathed. “Was that supposed to intimidate me or turn me on more?”

“Both,” he replied with a self-satisfied smile. He gave you a quick kiss and lay back down. “Now get on top of me.”

You turned your attention to Hvitserk before complying with Ubbe’s request. Hvitserk was still laying there and seemed content to just watch for now. His eyes sparkled with mischief when you moved your hand in between your legs, the pad of your finger lazily rubbing up and down between your folds. It was almost like he knew what was coming next.

When your finger was coated in your own juices, you moved it towards his lips and he opened his mouth wide for you. Since he had a thing for your taste and was going to have to wait his turn, it felt like you were offering him an appetizer. He grabbed your wrist, sucking on your finger greedily. You winked at him when he released you and moved back to Ubbe who still had that same smug expression on his face as before.

Ubbe grinned up at you when you straddled him and you gave his cock a few strokes before guiding him into you. You sat back slowly, taking him in inch by inch until he was completely inside you. You kept your movements languid and unhurried. It was too early to ride him like a cowgirl might ride a wild bull and the way that Ubbe was gazing up at you told you that he didn’t necessarily mind taking it slow. You’d grind down, getting as much friction out of it as possible, while he’d lazily push up.

“You are so fucking sexy, baby,” Hvitserk groaned next to you and your eyes briefly flitted over to meet his. The second you looked away, Ubbe pinched your thigh, a silent reminder to make sure you kept all your attention focused on him. “So jealous, brother.”

“Fuck you.”

“Now boys, no fighting.” You threw your head back and moaned loudly when Ubbe thrust up once with more force. “Plenty of me to go round.”

Those words seemed to spur Hvitserk on for some reason. He pushed himself up suddenly and seconds later, he was sitting behind you, in between his brother’s legs. Ubbe’s hands were already on your hips and Hvitserk covered them with his own. You felt Hvitserk give his brother’s hands an almost comforting squeeze and Ubbe chuckled lowly in reply. You got the feeling that they were silently communicating with each other, having grown so in tune over the years that they didn’t even need words at times.

“Fuck off, Serk.” There was one final tap on the back of Ubbe’s hands before Hvitserk settled his hands on your ass. “And ask first.”

“Ask me what?”

Hvitserk started kissing your neck and didn’t say anything. The longer the silence dragged on, the more curious you were getting. When he slid his thumbs in between the cleft of your ass though, you could practically guess at what his true intent was.

His hands followed the curve of your ass first, fingers caressing and exploring, squeezing occasionally. One of his thumbs brushed up against your other hole once, his touch so light that it could be thought of as accidental, but it soon grew more insistent. He still hadn’t asked you anything, but the way that he was massaging you down there, applying more pressure with every push of his finger, made you think that he was probably giving you an opportunity to tell him off. When you didn’t say anything, he groaned against your shoulder and moved one hand up to your chin so he could tilt your head back.

His lips brushed against the shell of your ear, his voice husky when he spoke. “You gonna let me fuck your ass, sexy?” Hvitserk had talked just loud enough for Ubbe to hear. It was immediately clear that Ubbe was more than into this as well, because he thrust his hips up hard and fast into you a couple of times. “While my brother fills up your pussy?”

“Just be…” Your sentence was cut short when Ubbe pushed up harshly, tearing a sudden gasp from your throat. Hvitserk’s teeth were on your shoulder, biting you in the same spot where Ubbe had marked you earlier. “It’s been a while…”

“I can be gentle,” Hvitserk breathed against your skin. “Make sure you’re ready for me first.” You rocked your hips back and forth just to give Ubbe some of the movement that he sought so much before pushing your ass back against Hvitserk’s hand. “What do you say?”

If your mouth could form words, you would have replied, but try as you might nothing but harsh gasps and moans were coming out. When Hvitserk’s palm connected with your behind sharply, you were pulled out of your daze and moaned a low “yes”. He pressed his forehead against the base of your neck and whispered your name once. His voice sounded almost grateful that you had given him your consent and then he pulled away abruptly.

Hvitserk got off the bed completely and you could hear him rummaging around in one of the bedside cabinets. The thought of what was about to happen was almost too much and you threw your head back to move your hips a bit more forcefully against Ubbe. He groaned underneath you and thrust up, hitting the right spot within you every single time.

The bed dipped when Hvitserk got back on it and you looked over to him so you could see his excited grin before he took up his position behind you again. He put a hand on your shoulder and urged you to stop moving which you did with a sigh that was meant to convey your annoyance.

His long fingers brushed down your spine, following the line until they dipped down low enough. His touch was brief and lasted mere seconds. When you heard something plasticy behind you, a bottle being popped open, that just made it all the more real. This was actually going to happen. You had stopped moving all together now and then you felt his hand in between your shoulder blades, pressing you forward. Your face was inches from Ubbe and your eyes were firmly focused on each other, your breathing already coming in quick and short gasps in anticipation.

Hvitserk’s lubed finger started working on you gently, pressing inside at an unhurried pace. You gasped and from the way that Ubbe’s face twitched told you that you must have inadvertently clenched your walls around him. You’d apologise if you were able to, but the sensation of a finger slowly moving in and out of you while Ubbe’s cock was filling up your pussy to the brim was quite unlike anything that you had experienced ever before.

You shifted your hips, moaning while Hvitserk added another finger as Ubbe kept staring up at you in amazement. You kept squeezing your eyes shut because of this continued assault on your senses, but every time that you opened them Ubbe was looking straight at you. His bright blue eyes never once left your face and it gave you the feeling like he was studying your facial expression, as if to constantly make sure that you genuinely wanted to go through with this.

You flashed him what you hoped was a confident smile and it wasn’t until he smiled back that you were pleased that you had been able to convey your willingness. Closing the distance, your lips met his and despite what was happening, Ubbe’s hips gently moving underneath you and Hvitserk’s fingers working you open, the kiss was surprisingly tender and sweet.

“Think you’re ready for me.” The spell was broken when Hvitserk spoke and you briefly looked at him over your shoulder, making sure he saw the same smile that Ubbe had seen just now.

Hvitserk’s fingers shoved up roughly one last time, his control fast slipping, before removing them entirely. His hand suddenly came back at the top of your spine, pushing you further down still so he could get the right angle to enter you from. You pressed your chin on Ubbe’s broad shoulder. His movements underneath you are kept to a bare minimum, just enough to remind you that he’s still there. As if you could forget that when his cock had been keeping your pussy nice and full this entire time.

One final firm slap against your ass and then Hvitserk slowly started easing the tip of his cock into you. A string of expletives started tumbling from your lips as Hvitserk pressed himself into you at a snail’s pace and you worked so hard to stay relaxed, but without Ubbe’s comforting eyes on you, it was so hard.

As if sensing this, he moved his hands up from your hips to wrap them around your back, his touch instantly comforting you. The amount of pleasure that you felt almost overtook you and you already knew that you weren’t going to last long. The boys had ceased moving and you suddenly realised that Hvitserk was fully inside of you.

Two sets of hands grabbed your hips then, covering each other like before, squeezing you this time to silently let you know what a good job you were doing without saying anything. They gave you a short moment to get used to this new sensation, but that was all that you were getting. You let out a low moan when Ubbe tilted his hips up tentatively and when you shifted, you inadvertently pushed back against Hvitserk behind you, making your next moan sound more like a whine.

“I-I’m not g-gonna last,” you gasped when Hvitserk moved his hips back and forth. As soon as he stopped moving, Ubbe took over. “Fuck!” you cried out. “T-that feels so good…”

It didn’t take them long to find their rhythm, moving in tandem as they kept you impossibly full from both sides. You had no control over the sounds that you were making and the only thing that you hoped was that you weren’t drooling all over Ubbe’s shoulder at this point.

They were wrecking you. There was no other word for it.

Losing his control once more, Hvitserk started thrusting in and out of you harder and faster, to the point where it was simply impossible for Ubbe to keep up with the pace that he was now setting. Somewhere in between his gruelling movements, you felt your walls tighten, screaming through your teeth right into Ubbe’s ear as your climax tore through you. There was no chance to come down though, because every time that one of them moved, a new wave engulfed you and pulled you back down into the depths.

They had taken everything out of you. There was nothing left to give. You let out a shaky breath, your arms shook as you moved them because your muscles wouldn’t stop spasming. Moving together, you felt Ubbe’s lips on your clavicle and Hvitserk kissed you on the other side, on your shoulder. You realised that they were probably able to look at one another and briefly wondered what kind of silent communication was going on between them at the moment.

“Just a bit longer, hot stuff.” Those words reminded you that they weren’t done yet and you gritted your teeth when Hvitserk started pounding your ass in earnest to push himself over the edge. He was relentless, pushing you to lengths that you hadn’t thought possible before this. You were grateful when his rhythm finally faltered and he pulled out suddenly. You were so far gone at that point that you barely noticed that he painted your back with streaks of his cum. “Fuuuuuuuuck…”

The second that Hvitserk had pulled away, Ubbe grabbed handfuls of your ass and flipped you over with a growl. You yelped when your back connected with the mattress, but your noises were quickly silenced when he pressed his lips down on yours in a fiery kiss. Silencing your cries, he buried himself inside of you again in one quick thrust and started snapping his hips against yours hard and fast as he sought his own release.

Your nails scratched at his skin like you were some wild animal that was caught in the final death throes as some predator tried to rip its throat out. You wailed as Ubbe drove himself into you deeper and deeper, your whole body burning up as he managed to pull yet another climax out of you. His body dropped down on yours, his arms unable to hold him up anymore and your name was one long drawn out moan on his lips when he finally spilled his seed deep inside of you.

“Fuck.” He was taking deep gulps of air into his lungs, just as out of breath as you were. Your hands were still lazily wrapped around him and you slid them up to his head now so you could scratch at his shaved sides with your fingernails. He chuckled and then said, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” You sounded so hoarse that your throat was burning with every word that came out of your mouth. “That was incredible.”

“Laying on top of you.” He pressed his hips against yours one last time before rolling off of you. When his already softening cock slipped out of your pussy, you could feel a trail of fluid trickling out. “Didn’t break you, did I?”

“Just my voice, big guy.”

“Good,” he replied with a smirk. “Wouldn’t want to break that sweet pussy of yours.”

“You’re such a sweet talker,” you replied with a giggle. “I don’t think I can walk anymore.”

“Mission accomplished, brother,” Hvitserk said from your other side. He reached out and started running his hand up and down your torso lazily, his fingers edging down lower with every pass. You pushed his hand away several times, but he would not be deterred. He propped himself up with his arm so he could look you in the eye. “I wanna eat you out.”

“Serk… I can’t...” “You can take it,” he said before you could finish your sentence. “Last one. I promise.”

“But Ubbe just…”

“So?” Before you could protest any more, he’d pushed himself up on his knees and moved to sit in between your legs. He loomed over you, his hands settling on your neck and then skimmed them down your chest. Your muscles spasmed in protest, but he ignored it. “Brother.”

Ubbe pushed himself up into a sitting position and pulled you against his chest. His big hands cupped your breasts, fingers playing with your nipples lazily. Hvitserk settled down on his stomach and pushed your thighs further apart. He blew hot air on your overworked pussy first then he dipped his head down and covered your swollen lips with his mouth. Hvitserk moaned against your core when he caught a taste of your juices mixed in with his older brother’s seed.

“Christ,” you said breathlessly, your hips coming off the mattress to push up against his face. “I can’t take this…”

“Shhh,” Ubbe crooned in your ear, his tone encouraging. “You’re a little trooper, you can handle anything.” The corner of your mouth twitched up and you bit your lower lip to stop yourself from crying out loudly. “Told you that he loves doing this… might as well let him...”

*****

Unsurprisingly, you had fallen asleep again afterwards.

When you woke up again, you lay between them once more, enveloped in their warmth. Ubbe’s chest was pressed against your back, his breathing slow and steady. Hvitserk was in front of you, his hand lazily rubbing up and down your side. He wasn’t aware that you had woken up until you craned your head to look at the window and tried to figure out what time it was. There was a lot more light streaming through the curtains than there was when you first woke up. But it was practically impossible to determine whether that meant that it was morning or midday.

Before you could check if there was a clock hanging on one of the walls, Hvitserk had already cupped your face and pulled your head back down so he could kiss you. “Morning.” You caught sight of his beautiful smile before he moved back in again.

“Still morning then?”

“Think so.” He kept kissing you while the two of you talked. “Why? You got somewhere else you need to be?”

“I’d like to get out of bed at one point or another.”

“I won’t let you.” He started grinning against your lips and then he slid his tongue into your mouth when you meant to talk again. “We can stay here all day if you want to.”

“If either of you fucks me again, I might be forced to do just that.” Hvitserk seemed to think that you had meant that and one of his hands slid down your body a bit too quickly, like he was in a rush. You willingly opened your thighs for him and he nipped at your bottom lip when he found out that you were already getting aroused. “That was not an invitation.”

“You opened your legs for me,” he retorted. “I’d say that was an invitation.”

His fingers worked to get you more wet by the second and soon you were so soaked that you could hear his digits move as he slid them up and down. But you also were fully awake by now and somehow determined not to make it easy on him. You slammed your legs shut suddenly, trapping his hand between them. When he tried to twist his hand away, you clenched down harder and started giggling when he huffed in frustration.

“You are such a little tease.” He tried to sound annoyed, but you could feel him grinning against your skin when he ran his lips over your jaw. He used the same words back when the two of you were younger. He was constantly telling you how much you teased him, even over things that had not even remotely been meant to provoke a reaction from him. Somehow he managed to pull his hand free and he surged his hips forward so his erection was pressing against the top of your thigh. “Open up for me, baby.”

“No.” It was difficult to keep this up when you wanted it just as badly as he did, but you tried to fight the urge just a little bit longer. Making him work for it had always been very arousing to you and it still seemed to affect you now. Hvitserk had been quite prone to losing his cool and you always took some odd kind of satisfaction out of being the one that tipped him over the edge. “I think I want to get out of bed now.”

“Like hell you are,” he grumbled. Suddenly, he grabbed your hands which had been pressed against his chest, pulled you away from Ubbe and pushed you on your back. He caged you in his arms, his loose hair tickling your face, and he flashed you a grin before he descended on your neck. You couldn’t help but moan when he started sucking marks on the column of your throat which he then swiped his tongue over. “Still like pushing me.”

“Uh-huh.” He rammed his knee in between your thighs and pried them open. “You always act like some wild animal when I hold out on you.”

He barked out a laugh. Reaching down suddenly to grab one of your thighs forcefully, he pulled it to the side so he could move his narrow hips in between the opening that he had just created. His cock brushed up against your wet folds and he ran it over them teasingly a few times. He dipped his head down further and dragged his lips over your sternum. When he turned his mouth to the side, he started sucking on your skin and when he pulled away to look at what he had done, you saw that a red mark was already forming on the top of your breast.

“I want you so bad,” he whispered and he reached down so he could line himself up. “Always wanted you.” He didn’t allow you any time to prepare, because he plunged himself into you with one quick slam of his hips. “Fuck, baby. I’m not gonna last.”

“Me neither.” His movements were hurried and when you let out a loud moan, Ubbe stirred next to you and your eyes darted over to him for a split second. “Won’t he…”

“Not unless you start screaming,” he managed to get out in between grunts. “And you’re gonna have to be loud.”

“So make me,” you countered.

There was another laugh and he pulled out just so he could thrust back inside. “Fuck. Your. Pussy. Is. So. Fucking. Needy.” Every single one of his words was punctuated by a thrust. You wrapped your legs around his narrow waist and dug your heels into his ass in an attempt to guide his movements a little. It only made him pound into you all the harder.

Hvitserk really seemed to be taking your comment about not being able to leave the bed if someone fucked you again quite seriously. For he seemed very determined to make sure that you would never be able to walk again. Every time that he tore a louder moan from your throat, he laughed breathlessly, pulled out completely for a few short seconds before continuing his onslaught. You could feel your body start to burn, a combination of your impending orgasm and from your muscles having been worked to within an inch of their lives.

You cupped his face with your hands and pulled him down so you could press an open-mouthed kiss on his lips. It was more sloppy than anything else, but you hoped that he also caught on to how it was meant to be received as a loving gesture. He attempted to deepen the kiss, but it was an entirely futile effort. You were both panting too hard to be able to do anything else other than just share each other’s hot breath. Frustrated that what he wanted to do wasn’t exactly working, he growled once and pressed his forehead against yours instead.

Since you didn’t have to hold his face in place anymore, you slid your hands through his hair. When you twisted your fingers in a few strands and gave a light tug, you noticed that a few muscles in his face twitched and that his eyes fluttered shut momentarily. Hvitserk obviously liked having his hair pulled. You wouldn’t be entirely surprised if that was the main reason why he kept it long to begin with.

The muscles in your thighs spasmed, tightening around him as your climax started to build. You made a noise that was halfway between a sob and a moan and despite somehow knowing that your combined noises had woken up Ubbe a while ago, you were still surprised when a hand suddenly shoved itself in between your bodies, a single long finger finding your swollen clit with ease and swirling around it in hurried movements.

It took everything you had in you not to scream your release straight into Hvitserk’s face, though knowing him, he probably would have loved that. Instead, you bit your lower lip hard enough so that you could taste the metallic tang of your own blood. Your orgasm burned through you in the same manner that a fire would rush through a forest if there was a strong wind to make it spread faster, burning everything in its path. Hvitserk in turn was unable to keep looking at you and dropped his head down to your neck. He repeated your name over and over again, his hips managing just a few more tiny thrusts before he finished.

You were vaguely aware of Ubbe moving next to you, mumbling something about breakfast before he disappeared altogether and left you alone with Hvitserk.

Hvitserk’s breath was still coming hard and fast. It took you a while before you were able to move again and every muscle in your body burned like you’d just run a marathon. For no reason at all, you poked a finger in his side lazily and when he laughed, you laughed along with him. It was that infectious. But when he suddenly stopped laughing and went quiet, you ran your hands up and down his back. You got the feeling that he was building up to something and waited patiently for him to vocalise it.

“Is this…” You could feel his Adam's apple moving when he swallowed hard to moisten his throat. “Is this real?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Dunno.” He suddenly pushed himself up with his arms so he could look you in the eye as his face hovered over yours. “Could be dreaming.”

“Are you implying that I’m just a figment of your imagination? Hm? Is that what I am?”

“Maybe.” He sounded slightly unsure of himself for some unfathomable reason. “Who knows what you are.”

“Serk.” You cupped his face very much like you did earlier and simply held him while you peered deeply into his hazel eyes. “I’m just me. Same as I’ve always been.” Lifting your head off the pillow, you gave him a light kiss. “You’re acting funny.”

“Am I?” He tried to turn his head to look away, but you firmly kept him in place. Something was up, but you didn’t know what was wrong since he was being evasive for some reason. “You know something…”

“Hmm?” He kissed you this time and since you weren’t panting messes at the moment, he could deepen the kiss. Your mouths moved together with ease, like this was how it was supposed to be. You hummed contently when he broke the kiss and started leaving light kisses all over your face instead. “What were you gonna say?”

“What?” You just caught sight of his radiant smile before he left alternating kisses on your eyelids. “Wasn’t going to say anything.”

“You were.” His movements got more urgent and you pinched his side. “Don’t distract me.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Later.” When you looked less than impressed, he sighed deeply and nuzzled his nose against your neck to leave gentle kisses in a place where he wouldn’t be able to see your facial expression. “I promise.” He dipped his head down lower so he could drag his lips over your clavicles. “I just… it feels like I’ll ruin everything if I say it.”

“You know you’re only making me more curious, right?”

“I’m sorry.” He halted his movements and laid his head on your chest. You wrapped one arm around his shoulders and placed the other one on the top of his head. “Can we just lay here for a bit longer?”

“If that’s what you want.”

What Hvitserk had wanted to tell you was still a complete mystery by the time that he released you and pulled you along with him to get out of bed, but it was pretty clear that he was slowly building up to that so you decided not to pressure him.

He would tell you in his own time...

#vikings #vikings au #hvitserk lothbrok #ubbe lothbrok #hvitserk x reader #ubbe x reader #smutty smut smut #mar writes #mar moodboards

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nevertheless-moving · 4 years ago

Text

Suicidal Misunderstanding XIII

Part I - - - - - - Part II - - - - - - - - - - - - Part XI - - - - - - Part XII

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Cody waited impatiently in the entrance room to the hall of healing, ignoring the surprising number of Jedi who drifted by aimlessly.

As far as he could tell they were coming in just to stare at him, make meaningless small chat with the tight lipped receptionist, glance around, approach as if almost to talk with him, then drift out again without having accomplished anything.

Embarrassingly, it took him several minutes to realize why they were behaving so oddly. In his defense, a) he didn’t have much of a baseline for Jedi behavior in temple.

And b) when numerous vod had approached him today to try and find out ‘why the General had missed last night’s conference,’ and ‘why Cody had been unreachable for large chunks of time, that was seriously unlike him,’ and ‘why had Cody gone to the Jedi Temple and stayed there for hours upon hours yesterday morning,’ and ‘why haven’t you taken your bucket off today,’ and ‘why has no one gotten a comm reply from General Kenobi since Ghost Company went drinking,’ and ‘why isn’t Skywalker answering comms,’ and ‘why do the Jedi seem so riled up today,’ and ‘why are you and Rex so tense,’ and, ‘are you going to the temple now,’ and ‘what the kriff happened to my desk,’ well.

They just asked directly.

He had grown so inured to unfamiliar Jedi silently willing him to answer their own jedi-variations on ‘What the fuck is going on with Obi-Wan’ that he almost didn’t notice when Windu came to stand next to him.

“Here as a visitor?” He asked the Master stiffly. He was almost feeling wound-up enough to fight for his place in line.

“No, I’m waiting to speak with Skywalker,” he replied, temporarily placating the Commander.

An unfamiliar Jedi Cadet with a short braid on the side of their head walked in, attempting to look casual and failing miserably. The small furred padawan stared nervously at Cody and Mace, and actually managed to open their mouth. Windu raised a brow. They immediately snapped their jaw shut, bowed, and scurried out.

Cody watched through the window as they joined a group of even tinier Jedi. After a brief conversation with lots of waving limbs from all parties, the group turned in unison to make eye contact with Cody’s visor. Cody inclined his head slightly. They all ran off, practically tripping over their robes.

“Wasn’t sure if the eyebrow would work,” Mace muttered. “It’s been 50/50 today.”

“I’ve just been hiding whenever I can,” Cody confessed.

Mace winced. “My apologies for the delay in putting out a statement. We’re still trying to work out - an adequate substitute. At least for the upcoming campaign.”

Cody nodded, “I assumed as much."

“I assure you, we’ve taken your thoughts into consideration. You’ll receive a notice of the Council’s final decision before we send out a mass bulletin.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Fortunately, finally, Anakin stomped into the atrium, followed closely behind by the Nautolan soul healer.

“Ah, Knight Skywalker, do you have a moment? I’d like to have a word with you.”

Anakin startled at Mace’s words, but recovered quickly when he noticed the slow moving crowd just outside the door. “Of course, Master Windu,” he said with a bow.

“Commander Cody, would you care to follow me?” Aerdo said with a smile.

Cody and Anakin exchanged grim nods as they passed one another, following the Masters in opposite directions.

- - - - -

“The situation in the expansion region is deteriorating rapidly. We had already intended to send the 212th to moderate the situation after Umbara’s latest declaration. But increasing separatist activity in the sector means that we cannot afford to delay or under-commit. The hyperlanes are being taken, and with them, republic control over crucial supply lines is now threatened. We must deploy the third system army, the day after tomorrow at the very latest. They’re our best equipped force for the situation, not to mention the only uncommitted division large enough to make a meaningful impact. There is no viable alternative.”

Anakin nodded at Mace uncertainly. He had been keeping up with troop movements before everything, and, trying to keep himself sane, had even checked the news in between cutting off the Chancellor and visiting Obi-Wan only to find him unresponsive again. But...why exactly was the Master of the Order telling him this?

“You’re not seriously thinking of sending Obi-Wan? I mean even if he miraculously wakes up tomorrow...”

Master Windu sighed. “No, of course not. Which is why I’ve asked you here.”

“You...can’t be asking me to lead them?” Anakin asked, feeling lightheaded.

“I admit, the council did consider it. You are the one of our most successful Generals. Not to mention the one most familiar with Obi-Wan’s troops. Between the fact that the 501st is also needed on Umbara and every other Jedi’s unwillingness to step in to the position, your name came up multiple times.” Mace pinched the bridge of his nose while Anakin stared uncertainly.

“No, I have not brought you here for a promotion. I want to speak with you about your opinions on candidates for the 212th...as well as to ask if you believe yourself capable of leading the 501st without...losing yourself. I’ve finished reviewing your civilian casualties and consider your observed losses- tolerable, at least.”

Windu looked exhausted at having to say that out-loud and Anakin fidgeted, biting his tongue.

“As long as you are under the supervision of another Master, and if you swear to me on Obi-Wan’s life that you will report yourself if you find yourself slipping- I leave the command of the 501st up to you.”

Anakin felt queasy. How could he help Obi-Wan if he was half a galaxy away, on what sounded like a long, protracted campaign. If he refused to go, that would leave both the 501st and the the 212th without their generals. Or...was this how he could help? Carry one of his burdens for him? He was more than ready to lead! Probably! He had been leading! Part of him longed to charge into battle immediately- wash off his helplessness with blood. Anakin didn’t know how to fix Obi-Wan mind, but he was good at fighting, good at war.

And that thought brought back the ever-lingering cold. How could he trust himself? His...violence... it might have driven Obi-Wan to suicide. He still didn’t know! And if he left he wouldn’t know for months! He promised Obi-Wan not to kill again- how the kark was he supposed to do that while being a General?! Did ordering people to kill count, or was that worse?

“I need to think about the 501st ,” Anakin whispered.

Master Windu nodded. “I appreciate that. You have until dawn tomorrow to decide- in the mean time, let’s discuss the 212th.”

“Who’s the top choice?”

“Master Pong Krell. He’s actually our only choice that wouldn’t require reorganizing other assignments significantly.”

“He’s...a good duelist.” Anakin said, trying to think about what he knew of the Besalisk, “What division does he command?”

Windu grimaced. “That’s actually why he’s the best choice... Of the troops he’s had direct command over since the start of the war, over 85% are dead. He’s never lost a battle but...”

Anakin closed his eyes, “Right.”

Plenty of excellent fighters among the Jedi made terrible generals. He’d have to look over the Besalisk’s military record- it could just be terrible luck. Plo Koon had lost an entire division to the Malevolence, but he still was one of the best.

“When you say he’s the only choice...”

“Most Masters I’ve breached the subject with were extremely reluctant at the thought- I don’t want to force anyone into a position beyond what they’re willing to handle.”

“I guess that makes sense...but it seems...off?” Anakin trying to articulate his uneasiness.

“Our method of ‘promotion’ has a tendency to elevate those who should perhaps not be taking on more responsibilities.” Mace acknowledged grimly.

“Because... good Jedi aren’t really ok with war. And you’re only promoting Generals who are fine with the whole thing?” he said thinking of himself. “Or can’t say no?” he added bitterly, thinking of Obi-Wan.

“It’s not an ideal situation” Mace agreed, lines around his eyes growing.

Anakin scrubbed a hand to his face. He had been doing more thinking about the ‘concept’ of war and violence in the last two days than he had the last two years of actual fighting. There hadn’t been much point before, war was happening regardless of his feelings. Not to mention the fact that there wasn’t time to quibble over these sorts of things in the field. As much as he was desperate not to disappoint Obi-Wan again, he didn’t really enjoying being forced to consider this stuff now. It made him...itchy.

“Have you considered just putting Cody in charge of everything?” Anakin finally asked.

“Of course, but the Senate would never approve...”

- - - - -

“...With those few exceptions, the only major thing left to restock is perishables. But that’s more your department than mine, sir.”

Cody finished his report.

Obi-Wan continued to lay still, looking frail in the large medi-bed. The restraints made the image that much worse.

“Fuck.”

Cody swore and, for the first time since crawling out of bed that morning, yanked off his helmet.

“General. General Kenobi. Obi-Wan can you hear me.” he said hoarsely, leaning over the bed.

The General didn’t move.

“Obi-Wan if you can hear me- try and shift around a little bit. Blink. Do anything. It’s me- Commander Cody. I- please, sir. Just do anything, they said you- you did this on purpose so please confirm you’re in there. I’m- shipping off soon and, I- I just need to know that you’re going to be ok. Please. Anything.”

Cody hovered absolutely motionless, watching for any sign of response. But Obi-Wan continued as he had been, lifeless but for his slow and steady breaths.

Cody collapsed to his knees, vision spotty. Gasping for air, he rested his head on the side of the bed, desperately trying to pull himself together.

After several long moments he pulled of a glove, tentatively reaching for Obi-Wan’s hand. It felt cold.

“General, if this is some sort of- dark force attack twitch your hand, ok? Please. We’re trying to understand- we’re here for you, just clench your hand if you’re under attack and someone will come to help.”

Cody paced his breaths to Obi-Wan’s, pulse slowing down to match the wrist in his grasp.

“Obi-Wan, why are you doing this? I don’t understand.” Cody rasped.

“You- you told me I was one of your best friends. You- I don’t know why you think so highly of me but please you have to know I think the universe of you. We all do, but I really do. You don’t have to fight anymore if you don’t want to, we’ll protect you, you know that. You have to know that. But I can’t- I can’t imagine the rest of the war without knowing you’re alright somewhere.”

Cody pressed Obi-Wan’s hand to his forehead, choking back a sob.

“You said you had a ‘last mission.‘ I don’t know what that means. You’ve talked about after the war- I don’t get why your life has to end with a mission. I'm not sure if I understood anything you said, but I’m right here and I would never hurt you. I don’t know what you saw but I would die first, ok? I want you to know that I would gladly die before hurting you so- so you don’t have to worry about whatever vision you had. Just wake up and tell me what I have to do and I’ll do it.”

Cody sat on the floor, clinging to Obi-Wan’s hand and continuing to breathe.

Eventually, the door clicked open behind him.

“Commander Cody? I’m terribly sorry but it’s been an hour...” Healer Aerdo’s voice came trickling in.

“I understand- is there time for me to say goodbye?” Cody rasped, not looking back.

“Of course.”

The door clicked shut and Cody stood jerkily.

“Goodbye, General Kenobi. Obi-Wan. I’ll take care of the men for you while you’re- resting. Please, I know I say this a lot but take care of yourself, ok?”

Cody pressed Obi-Wan’s hand to his forehead one last time before reverently resting it on the bed. Pulling his helmet on roughly, he turned sharply and marched out the door.

Obi-Wan remained determinedly still.

Next: XIV

#star wars #my au #suicidal misunderstanding au #star wars au no 27 #potentially triggering #suicide discussed #self-harm referenced #starwars #made myself cry a little whoops #fanfiction #codywan #star wars fanfiction #angst #pong krell is his own warning

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lostforysbth · 2 years ago

Text

yeonjun found love in soobin long after they both began working, long after he'd expected to settle down if he was being honest. he had no one to blame but himself on that, though, too into his work to notice his social and love lives were deteriorating. due to his colleagues' insistence, he'd attended a party that led to him meeting the love of his life.

yeonjun's job had always been taxing. it had only grown more taxing the longer he stayed at the company. but thanks to that, he got to come home to soobin.

he got to witness soobin's attempts to cook dinner, soobin passed out on the couch mid-game covered in snacks, soobin bawling from the numerous dramas and animes he tortured himself with.

it was nothing but it was everything to yeonjun. the more he saw these moments of soobin, the deeper he fell into him. but the bigger his love grew, so did his guilt.

the guilt of rarely being there due to his busy schedule. guilt of having to leave soobin every time there was an emergency at work. guilt of wanting to be with soobin but not giving much in return.

he tried to compensate with extra cuddles on the weekends, when they mainly just stayed in bed until one of their stomachs started to grumble. on weekends, yeonjun appointed himself as the household chef and, while he was on kitchen duty, soobin would watch him like the lovestruck fool that he was.

throughout the cooking process and over their meals, they would talk about going out and doing all the fun things they did and thought they'd do while still in their youths.

at one point, yeonjun reminisced his senior prom and wished he had it with soobin instead. at the time, he had spent it alone in a corner, simply watching his friends mess around with their dates. but then soobin confessed that he dropped out of high school, so he didnt have any experience to speak of at all.

at that, yeonjun insisted that they changed it immediately, made soobin change into his one good suit for wedding events while he cleared up the living room, sofa and coffee table to the wall, and vacuumed any crumbs from all the snacks they inhaled over the past weeks.

while yeonjun was putting on his own suit, soobin was watching him from their bed full of curiosity and amusement, not knowing what yeonjun was planning exactly but endeared by his passion all the same.

when yeonjun held soobin's hand and walked him out of their shared bedroom, soobin finally noticed the space in the middle of their living room, the closed curtains, and the flower petals all over the floor (he found the bald flower stalks in the kitchen trash can later that night).

after finding a playlist of slow songs to dance to, yeonjun threw his phone to the sofa and extended his hand to soobin.

"shall we dance?"

skip a couple months into the future, yeonjun had asked soobin if he wanted to adopt a pet. he always hated the idea of leaving soobin alone at home and soobin always gushed about how cute hueningkai's puppies were and how adorable this raccoon he found on youtube was and how he wanted to pet anything and everything fluffy.

but to his surprise, soobin asked if they could adopt a kid instead. by the end of the process, they had an adorable kid in their care who shared soobin's eyesmile and yeonjun's sass.

weekends at home were never this chaotic and fun and lively before, but yeonjun wished for nothing more than to keep his little family happy.

#txt au #yeonjun #soobin #yeonbin #domestic boyfriends idk #lostforysbth

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koolkat9 · 3 years ago

Text

HetaFamily Week Day 7

@hetafamilyweek

Prompt: Free Day/ Birthday

Family/Pairing: Alfred and Arthur (with a little bit of GerEng)

Word Count: 1095

Author’s Note: Sorry this was a little late. I ended up getting busy with work and then I left for vacation and only had a little time to actually work on it. I felt like I made Arthur too nice, but then I remembered when he’s sick he tends to be nicer so I guess it's not too ooc

A Pretty Good Birthday

Arthur never showed up for his birthday. At first, Alfred had assumed he was still butthurt about the Revolutionary war, but when the Brit finally did come, barely able to stand and blood trickling from his mouth, Alfred realized that there was more to it. He didn’t fully understand why Arthur’s health deteriorated so much on the 4th of July and he never had the heart to ask. Still, every year he had hoped Arthur would accept his invitation, even if he only popped in to say ‘happy birthday' a day before. If he had it his way, Alfred would have all his friends and family at his party which included Arthur, but the world didn’t work like that.

He hadn’t expected Arthur this year since he only came once in a blue moon and had popped in the day before last year. So when he saw Arthur, entering the garden, holding onto Ludwig’s arm to support himself, Alfred was more than a little shocked. He was delighted too, but mainly shocked. He tried to remain cool, gliding over to the two to greet them.

“Yo, Arthur, Lud, glad you two could make it,” Alfred greeted with a big smile.

Arthur let out a small groan. “Could you maybe tone it down?”

“Oh yeah...Sorry dude, I’m just so pumped, we got so much planned. There’s the barbeque, the backyard games, oooh the fireworks-”

“That all sounds nice Alfred,” Ludwig interjected, “but could we maybe continue this conversation sitting down? Arthur may be here but he’s still not feeling too good.”

“I’m fine love really.” As soon as Arthur said those words he brought his handkerchief to his mouth, coughing into it.

“Ja and I hate dogs. Now about that chair.”

Alfred’s smile faltered slightly as he noticed the new red patch on the piece of fabric. “Oh y-yeah, of course, this way,” he said, guiding them over to a bench that sat in the middle of the garden. After a little more conversing, the American eventually wandered off to another group of party-goers.

He spent the rest of the evening and night talking to all his guests, playing a few games, and eating all his favorite foods. It was a fun time and he had almost forgotten all about Arthur. Once things began to slow down and the sky grew darker, Alfred figured it was best he go check on him.

He found Arthur on the same bench he last left him at, but this time, he was alone. Being the good host that he was, Alfred went over. “Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked, taking a seat beside Arthur.

“Like crap, but I’ve dealt with worse, and to be fair, I think it's getting better every year.”

“Good...Good…How are you liking the party?”

“It's nice to be outside. The garden is just as beautiful as I remember it from my last visit."

"Yeah. It's not really my thing - gardening I mean- But I do like being surrounded by plants and flowers."

Arthur nodded. "I take it there will be fireworks?" he questioned after a moment.

"Heck yeah dude! Always."

Arthur grimaced. "Oh...lovely."

"You alright?"

"Just splendid.”

Alfred couldn’t shake the feeling something else was wrong, but he didn’t want to push and get into an argument. Normally he didn’t mind it and spoke whatever came to his mind, but at least for today, he didn’t want to lose this nicer, calmer Arthur. It reminded him of how Arthur once was when he himself was younger and under the care of the Englishman. Sometimes he missed those days, but at the same time, he didn’t regret becoming independent or breaking away from Arthur. It was a weird mix that not even he understood.

Alfred was pulled out of his thoughts by Arthur coughing into his handkerchief. After the fit subsided, the Brit slumped against the bench. “You know you and Lud can stay over tonight if you aren’t feeling good to travel,” Alfred suggested.

“I-I’m fine. I’ve dealt with this for over two centuries.”

“But Artie, you need to rest if you’re not feeling well.” That’s what you always told me was what he wanted to add, but he didn’t, not wanting to bring up any painful memories. After a pleading look, Arthur finally cracked and agreed to stay for the night. “Okay...Okay...If I’m going to stay, would it be alright for me to head in?”

“Of course. Here let me help you.” Alfred went to support him until Arthur swatted his hand away.

“I’m fine,” Arthur hissed. So much for that nice streak. But the Brit wasn’t fine and as he got up he almost fell right back down. After a few more failed attempts, he finally accepted Alfred’s help. The American guided Arthur to the guest room where he sat the man down on the bed. “Okay...so...I’m going to go get Ludwig and let him know you’re staying. There are some spare Pjs in the closet if you want. Fireworks are in fifteen minutes or so.” Alfred looked around the room before concluding, “and that should be everything.”

“Ah yes...seems like everything is under control. Um...I guess a thanks is in order.”

“Don’t mention it, dude. I’m the hero after all and heroes help people.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Arthur sighed, laying back onto the bed.

Though there was not really anything to say, Alfred lingered a little bit longer before slowly making his way to the door. He didn’t fully understand why, but he felt...disappointed? Like something was missing. He may have not been one to read the atmosphere but it almost felt like things were being left unsaid. Actually, all his conversations with Arthur that evening seemed to be left like that.

“Alfred?” Arthur called as the American reached the door. He heard the Brit take a deep breath. “I don’t think I’ve told you this yet, but...happy birthday. A-And I don’t say this enough, but each year, despite how bad I feel, I’m reminded of how proud of you I am and who’ve you become.”

Alfred swallowed hard before turning back towards Arthur. He never realized until now, how much he needed to hear those words from him. A wide grin spread across his face. “Thanks, dude...I’m glad you could make it this year.” He turned back towards the door, but before leaving he added, “Also I’ll make sure to save you some cake for tomorrow when you're feeling better. After all, Mattie made it!”

Before he closed the door, Alfred heard Arthur chuckle slightly. It turned out to be a pretty good birthday.

Thanks @hetafamilyweek for putting this event together. It was a lot of fun even though I didn’t have enough motivation to do it every day’s prompt. That’s what I get for doing events back to back lol.

#hetafamilyweek2021 #hetalia #hws #hws england #hws america #hws germany #gereng #engger #geruk #fluff #a bit of hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #birthday #fanfiction #hetalia fanfiction

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ververa · 4 years ago

Text

“Who is in control?”

A/N: Would you believe me if I tell you this was an accident? I did not plan on writing it, because I never felt like anyone could top Wilhemina Venable, but then I had this idea and oh well...

Wilhemina Venable x reader

Words count: ~4,000

Wilhemina Venable had never been a people person. The truth was she didn't like people at all, the same as she didn't like surprises. Especially if they were attractive, successful, witty and bossy. She wouldn’t know that if it hadn’t been for you. Because you, Y/N Y/L/N a new investor and a future partner of The Cooperative happened to display all of those features.

It’s not like you did anything specific to make the redhead rage. Just your presence itself was enough. You seemed so perfect, both inside and outside. Beautiful, smart, compassionate, empathetic. And she hated it. You were just too good. Too good to be real. But you were. You were real, well and alive and right there, approaching her desk on your way to Matt and Jeff, as you did every morning for the past week or so.

“Good morning, Ms Venable” you greeted, that melodious voice of yours and that charming smile plastered to your face made her go crazy

“Good morning” she said, straightening in her chair

She hated you. How could anyone be so perfect? She wondered looking you up and down as you were standing there, going over some papers.

“Are you alright, Ms Venable?” you asked, interrupting her thoughts

“Of course. What makes you think I’m not, Ms Y/L/N?”

“I don’t know, maybe the fact you’re starring and practically drooling like those cute dogs in videos” you raised your eyebrow, challengingly

“Very pawky for such a frippet like you. Felicitations, Ms Y/L/N!”

“Did that impress you?”

“Do I look as if I was impressed?”

“It’s hard to say actually”

“Well… I’m not. As a matter of fact I’m rather disturbed by your fulsome indecorum. Now, I’d like to confabulate some more, but I have work to do”

You laughed. You loved teasing her like that. That hint of satisfaction on her face whenever you let her come down on you made your day complete.

“It was nice to see you too, Ms Venable” and just like that you left, as if nothing happened, as if you hadn’t just made Wilhemina flustered.

It was yet another thing about you that she despised. The fact you were so eloquent. Yet still she had to admit, it was nice to finally have a worthy opponent. But you didn’t have to make her feel all the things she felt when you were around. Nervous, shy even. With you she felt small, faulty, not even half as good as she wished she was.

You, with all the power and glory you carried, confidence hidden inside you, all the money and fame, made her, Wilhemina Venable feel intimidated. And that’s why she hated you. Or she claimed so. She hated you, because no one could ever measure up to her, at least on the intellectual level. And then you appeared. You managed to change it during your first meeting. It was less than a minute, maybe half a minute, but it changed everything. You swept her off her feet within seconds, because somehow you could equal her or maybe, actually, outmaster her. And that, the fact you seemed so flawless made her mad. It annoyed her, because the truth was no one could equal you. No one compared to you. Wilhemina would never admit it, but she was jealous. Jealous of you.

And yet she couldn’t hate you to the fullest, simply because you never caused any harm. In fact, you were the only one who displayed some basic knowledge of etiquette and refinement. And that was a remarkable part of you. The part that struck her in the first place. Something that impressed her. Of course, she would never admit it, because that would indicate she liked you. And she did not. She didn't like anyone, and you weren't an exception. That's what she decided. The decision was final and there was nothing more to be said. But as the time passed, Wilhemina found herself being less and less sure of it.

One part of her wanted to be you, but then there was that piece, a little tad of her that wanted to be with you. She desired you like she had never ever desired anything or anyone before. And that was confusing. It made her feel weak. It made her lose control. And so she decided not to like you, because it was easier than allowing her desires to win. Than admitting she wasn't all that cold and heartless as she wanted people to think she was.

But you could see through her. You knew better than anyone, because you noticed everything.

You knew that all she desired was to be wanted. What she craved and feared the most was intimacy. Being vulnerable. Being close with another person. That was the major reason for her acting the way she did. For her pretending to be so indifferent.

From the very beginning you realized the two of you were actually pretty alike. Two individuals. Two strong, independent people. So indifferent and unimpressed by the world. Bored. Stone-cold, yet still able to be warmed up. There just had to be that certain kind of spark. The right type of person with particular qualities that the process required.

And you were dead sure you felt that spark with Wilhemina. That's what made you want to give it a try. Though convincing Wilhemina to take a chance on you wasn't all that easy. She was stubborn, but so were you.

You had got your mind set on her and you kept persisting. You always got what you wanted and it wasn't going to be any different this time.

You knew she was warming up more and more with each passing day. With every little conversation and playful, witty argument the two of you shared. She was caving in to you. Slowly and reluctantly, but she was. Even if she didn't like it, she couldn't resist you no matter how hard she'd try.

But you gave her time, so that she could figure it out on her own. So that she would admit she wanted you. And you knew for a fact that she would, eventually. And if she wouldn't, you were ready to help her with that. The costs didn't matter. You were going to make the one and only Wilhemina Venable spit it out no matter what.

You were well aware of what you were doing. The same as you knew you could allow yourself to do it. Nothing and no one could make you stop. You realized it wasn't necessarily right. You might have been bad, in fact, but, the truth was - you were good at it. What's more, you liked it and you knew she did too.

And that thrill the desire brought you. The rush of adrenaline. The warmth filling your body. It was worth the effort. She was worth the effort. There was no way you'd turn back.

"So, Ms Venable, are you going to the party tonight?" you asked

Wilhemina's eyes shifted from her laptop to your form. You were standing there, so close to her, basically in her space, as you were leaning against her desk. You were the one, who could ever do something like that. Got so close and remained completely unbothered, being so confident at the same time. And made her feel weak. And hot. And mad. And annoyed. You gave her so many intensive feelings. What was she supposed to do? Was there any rescue?

"No" she said emotionlessly. If only you knew how much it cost her.

"What do you mean 'no'? You have to"

"Who says so?"

"I do" you answered confidently

Wilhemina looked up at your face, your eyes met. You gave her that wicked smile she couldn't stand. It was as if you were telling her "I'm in control. You're playing my game". Where did that confidence about your superiority come from? Or what made you believe that you could actually make her comply? The redhead wondered, as she looked you in the eye. Completely cool. Composed. Indifferent on the outside. Burning from inside.

She was well aware that you were the one shuffling the cards of the game. She allowed you to. Why? She didn't know. All she knew, she was waiting in vain for your final move, for you to play your ace. But you were taking it slow. Torturing her. Making her deteriorated into nothing but insanity. Keeping your intentions to yourself. So enigmatic. But mysteries were exciting after all.

"I'm not sure if you could tell, but I'm not exactly a people person"

"Ahh. Yes. As always reserved and ungetatable. But I think you're not as dark and cold as you want people to think. So, could you just once embrace joy? Be my guest. I can guarantee you won't regret it" you offered her a small smile

"I already do"

"Well, does that mean yes?"

"That better be good"

"Oh, it'll be. Have some faith in me, Ms Venable" you winked

Wilhemina rolled her eyes.

"The chauffeur will pick you up at 7" was the last thing you said before disappearing in the elevator.

Wilhemina shook her head. How did it come to that? How come she went from accidental mistaking you for an incompetent secretary to, actually, secretly admiring you as the boss? The redhead sighed as the memories overfilled her mind. And why would she still remember that, when she didn't give a toss about you? Well, maybe she did. In fact, after giving it a second thought, very reluctantly and cautiously, she must admit she did care. Sort of. Just a tiny bit, but not too much. You weren't a deific creature after all. You weren't anything special… and yet you turned everything upside down. It felt as if she was on a carousel and you, you were the music that dictated the tempo. The kind of tempo she hadn't known before. Exhilarating.

Wilhemina may have tried all she wanted to keep telling you and everyone else that she didn't like parties and didn't want to go. She could argue, but you knew it wasn't honest. Deep inside she was curious. Curious about the fancy reception. Curious about your house. But what she was interested in the most was you.

And still Wilhemina wouldn't admit it. Not in her everyday stamping ground. Not at work. Not when there still was an oddment of dignity, sense of superiority and control coming from within her.

But it was all gone when you were near. When you stood too close to her, she couldn't be strong. She couldn't defeat you. She couldn't fight it. Whenever she looked into your eyes, she lost control and she didn't know how to stop it. You were unstoppable. I can't go. She told herself. She knew she'd be completely lost if she went. There would be no grounding, nothing that could rescue her. Nothing to stop her from falling.

"Ms Venable? What have I done to deserve your visit?" you asked, as you let her into your office.

Wilhemina looked at you, but she averted her eyes almost immediately. You looked too good. And those glasses you wore while working… it was too much to handle for her. Too much to contain herself. She chid herself. She moved forward. Proud, dignified.

"I came, because on second thought, I'll not be able to squire your party"

You stopped on your way to the desk. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You had been giving in to all her mood swings, allowing her to decide, giving her the illusion of power. But you were done. You couldn't keep holding it back. That's where you drew a line. You had your limits too.

"You don't come off as a creature of whims or caprices, so where does this change come from?" you turned to face her, your hands in the pockets of your jeans, thumbs sticking out of them

"I'm busy this Friday"

"What, are you having a headache planned in advance?"

"No... I have no desire to spend time with stupid people"

"Neither do I" you said, taking off your glasses and putting them down on your desk "That's why I want you to come" you continued, resting one hand on your hip.

Wilhemina's eyes widened. She did not expect that. She was sure it'd go smoothly, but, of course, you had to complicate it. Why was she surprised? You always did that. You always made things harder for her.

"One hour. That's all I ask for. And if you won't like it, you'll be free to go"

It didn't sound too bad. One hour didn't seem that long. Perhaps, she could do that.

"Fine" she said, both hands clutching the top of her cane

"Wonderful!" you smirked with satisfaction "I'm glad we reached a compromise"

How she hated you. You were so overconfident. So cocky. So alluring. So hard to resist.

Wilhemina couldn't focus on her work. Not when you were still there. Not after your conversation. She just sat there, at her desk, blankly staring at her laptop. Of course, that was until you appeared. At times she wondered if you were doing it on purpose. If torturing her was giving you satisfaction. Or if driving her insane was your aim.

"It's time for me" you stated "But I decided I'll call by your desk first"

"What for?" Wilhemina asked and only then did she notice a giant box in your hands

"Well, I figured you may come up with another excuse to get away with the party" you carefully placed the box on her desk "Now" you tapped on top of it "You have no plausible excuse. Remember 7pm. Don't be late"

"I'm never late"

"Good. See you then" you winked, before putting on your sunglasses and leaving.

Wilhemina waited for you to disappear. Only then did she bring herself to open the box. Inside, neatly packed in wrapping paper was a dress. Fancy, long, purple dress. It was exactly her type. There was no label, but by the high quality of material Wilhemina could say it was expensive. She carefully touched it. She must say it was beautiful and she liked it, even though it was a gift from you. And then she noticed a little piece of paper. A note from you.

Wilhemina huffed as she read "It's a date" written in your perfect handwriting.

~~~

Never late. You rolled your eyes as you looked at your watch. It was past 7 and Wilhemina still wasn't there. Your house was full of people - businessmen, investors, different companies' directors and you. Was it possible that she stand you up? You wondered, stuck in some boring conversation. You were done. You needed a drink.

You excused yourself, giving your interlocutors a small smile. You made it to one of the tables and took a glass of champagne. That's when you heard her.

Wilhemina cleared her throat and hit her cane on the wooden floor, announcing her presence You smiled to yourself. What a relief.

"You're late" you said, composing yourself, before you turned round. You stopped in your tracks as your eyes set on her. "You're stunning" you complimented looking her up and down "You're forgiven"

"How generously of you, Ms Y/L/N" she tried not to smile

"May I give you a tour?" you asked offering her your hand

Wilhemina nodded, but didn't take your hand.

"Let's go then"

You led her through the mansion. Occasionally making some comments about the interior or decorations. Doing your best to avoid getting into any kind of interaction with other guests, who kept greeting you or waving or smiling at you, as you led Wilhemina forward. That was until you reached that one room - the library. You let Wilhemina in and then closed the door, sighing in relief as you did so.

The redhead looked around. Antique furniture, exquisite vases, first edition books. That's what surrounded you.

"Must be really nice to just snap your fingers and get whatever you want" she commented

"My money is the least impressive thing about me babe" you shrugged, approaching her

"Don't ever call me babe!" Wilhemina stopped and turned to face you

"Why not?" you asked innocently, too innocently

"Don't tempt me"

"I wouldn't dare to" you gave her a sly smile

"You're infuriating" Wilhemina closed her eyes

"Am I?" you raised your eyebrow playfully

"I hate you" she growled

"No, you don't. You're being ridiculous right now. You love it. You live for it. For me teasing you. And you're dying to see where it goes. Just admit I'm right"

"No"

"Why?"

"You don't get to tell me what to do" she crossed her arms across her chest, protecting herself

"Of course I do" you stepped closer

"No. No, you don't. No one gets to control me"

"Oh, but I do" you smirked

"No one tops me"

"Is that so?" you put your hands on hers

"Y-yes" she stuttered at the sudden physical contact

"You're so much fun to tease" you gently uncrossed her arms and moved closer. She took a step back. You followed her. She wanted to move again, but there was no more space. Her back pressed against a wall. You smiled, taking her hands and throwing them around your neck.

Wilhemina's heart was beating faster and faster as you were getting closer. Inch by inch.

"Not so fast" she stopped you "I-it's not that easy with me…"

"Don't worry. I've got time" you smiled and leaned in. Your lips touched hers. At first they barely brushed against hers. You didn't want to overwhelm her after all. You kept things slow. Devoured her.

At first Wilhemina tensed up. She wasn't used to people being so close to her. Being so intimate. Making her feel weak. Vulnerable. Hesitant. Reluctant.

"It's okay" you soothed. She closed her eyes.

"Do you have any idea of how long I've wanted to do it?" you said against her lips

"No…" she said. Her eyes still closed. Her breathing shallow.

"From the day I saw you in my office for the first time" you continued and kissed her again. This time more passionately. Your hands rested on the wall, on both sides of her body. You pulled away, but then almost immediately began kissing down her neck. It didn't take long before you found her pulse point and began sucking on it.

Wilhemina moaned. The sound came off as a surprise. It was embarrassing. Intimidation took over her. She didn't realize… she didn't mean to... Her eyes snapped open, wide in horror, but you were there to sooth her.

"Don't. Don't shy away"

Your lips collided again. Gently. Carefully. Slowly exploring the parts of her that probably no one ever had. She let you. She relaxed. She gave in.

"No one can top you, huh?" you teased, using your foot to part her legs, before pressing your thigh to her core

Wilhemina moaned again.

"That's it, darling" you kisses her jaw "I can top whoever I want to" you moved to her neck again "Whenever I want to"

You moved your hands to her waist. Then began rolling up her dress, carefully, so as not to destroy it. Not now, when she'd have to go back to the party. Your hands slid under the material.

"Y/N…" she stopped you, using your name for the very first time.

"What?" you looked at her

"Y-you want to do it here?"

"Yes" you nodded, at that point you were sure it was rather obvious

"Now? W-what about the guests?" she questioned

"Isn't the thrill of getting caught half of the fun?" you pecked her lips, before attaching your mouth to her neck again. Wilhemina gasped at the sensation.

"Now, tell me. Who is in control?"

"You"

"Louder" you demanded, moving your thigh

The redhead inhaled sharply.

"You! You are, Y/N"

"That's it. Good girl" you kissed her forehead, before pulling away. Wilhemina opened her eyes, confused. Suddenly missing your warmth. Missing the sensation of your hands on her. Missing the feeling of your thigh between her legs.

You straightened your suit. Wilhemina examined your face, searching for answers.

"My assistant is coming" you stated as if it was something obvious. Wilhemina frowned and suddenly the door opened.

"Ms Y/L/N!" a young man called you "Mr-" he was about to say something, but you cut him off

"George, how many times do I have to tell you that you're supposed to knock? What if I was here with Ms Venable half naked and on her knees? That would be a very awkward situation, wouldn't it?"

Wilhemina's eyes widened at your words. Her cheeks turning red as the boy nodded.

"We wouldn't want it, would we?"

"No, Ms Y/L/N"

"Then learn how to knock for fuck's sake!"

"Yes, ma'am" he said, leaving and closing the door

You turned to look at Wilhemina again. Your features softened immediately. You were about to move towards her again, but a knock interrupted you.

"What?!" you asked, taking a deep breath to calm down

George opened the door again.

"Mr Johnson wants to talk about the-"

"I'm coming. I'll be there in a sec"

He nodded and left, at which you sighed. Wilhemina watched you intently.

"It won't take long. You can wait here, because I assume you changed your mind and you'll stay"

"I will"

"Good" you pulled her in for one more kiss

Wilhemina placed her hands on your arms, dragging her nails up and down.

"I scratch and bit" she said against your lips, before doing as she said and biting your lower lip

You smirked. "You'll beg and crawl too" you winked at her, as you pulled away "I'll see you, Ms Venable" you said, handing Wilhemina her cane that landed on the floor at some point of your making out.

She smiled and nodded, thinking that maybe you weren't all that bad after all. Because, although, despite… she didn't hate you that much. Maybe she, in fact, could like you. Yes. Perhaps she could. No, she did. Yes. She did. She decided she liked you.

Tag list: @midnight-lestrange, @natasha-danvers, @stopkillinglilyrabe, @welshdragonrawr, @saucy-sapphic, @yang12e, @xixxiixx

#wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #AHS #ahs imagine #ahs apocalypse #ahs fanfiction #sarah paulson imagine #sarah paulson #american horror story

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thatshithurted8 · 4 years ago

Text

July

Summary: Watching who you thought was the love of your life change into a completely different person because of drugs was heartbreaking, but everyone reaches their breaking point eventually.

Inspired by the song July by Noah Cyrus.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mention of emotional and mental abuse, gas lighting, manipulation and drug use.

It’s to be expected that every relationship has their ups and downs. But during the first year of yours and Rafe’s relationship you two had more ups than downs, which you were extremely grateful for. However, a lot of people had strong opinions about Ward Cameron’s infamous son, Rafe and his actions.

These labels and assumptions about your relationship and boyfriend bothered you at first, but then you came to a realization that no one knows Rafe the way you do and they’re only judging him off of what he portrays to the world.

However, you noticed a shift in your relationship right after your one year anniversary. You don’t know how it started exactly, but you remembered Rafe calling you to pick him up from parties. Of course you obliged, leaving your school work scattered on your desk to be the designated driver for your boyfriend. But when you would pick him up you would notice him sniffling continuously all the while acting differently than he normally does when he’s drunk.

Your suspicions of what your boyfriend was doing finally came to light when you saw Rafe snort a line of coke with your own eyes. This only started a fight and the beginning of the end of your relationship.

I've been holding my breath I've been counting to ten Over something you said I've been holding back tears While you're throwing back beers I'm alone in bed

Friday nights were reserved date nights for you and Rafe. All of yours and Rafe’s friends knew that so you were extremely annoyed when Rafe walked into the living room with a keg while you were setting up the movies you two were going to watch.

“Uh what’s that for?”

“My dad and Rose are out of town for a stupid business thing so I thought we should have a party.” Rafe says, his eyes frantically scanning his surroundings. His eyes were dilated and you could tell that he was already high off of the white substance you despised.

“Aren’t you forgetting that it’s date night?” You ask raising a brow at him.

Rafe simply rolls his eyes. “We do the same shit every date night and it’s not fun anymore. They cause more stress than good.” He says stumbling over his words.

Taken aback from your boyfriends words you set the tv remote on the couch before walking to Rafe’s room with tears in your eyes, leaving the snacks you prepared out on the coffee table. Rafe doesn’t seem phased by you walking away from him, seemingly hurt. Instead he walks into the large kitchen in search for red solo cups.

As the music down stairs boomed throughout the house you laid in Rafe’s bed. His comment earlier was really taking a toll on you even though you knew it was the drugs talking. Even though you tried to ease your racing mind you had to continuously count to ten while taking deep breaths and holding back tears. The chatter of teenagers and music made you want to scream, but instead you stayed put laying motionless in Rafe’s bed that smelt like him.

Rafe snorts another line of the white substance on the coffee table before grabbing the bowl of potato chips that you set out for your movie night. As he stuffs his mouth with the salty snack, laughing at something Kelce said tears finally escaped your eyes.

You know I, I'm afraid of change Guess that's why we stay the same

As you grew up you associated change as a negative thing. It seemed as if every bad thing that has happened in your life was a result of some sort of change. So that was why you liked routine and Rafe was understanding of that.

However, the change within Rafe was slow and unexpected. It crept up on you like a cheetah prowling for their prey. When you finally realized that your relationship with Rafe drastically changed you felt as if it was too late. In reality it wasn’t too late Rafe just made you feel like it was.

So tell me to leave, I'll pack my bags, get on the road Find someone that loves you better than I do, darling, I know 'Cause you remind me every day, I'm not enough, but I still stay

The boy you claimed to love made you feel as if you would never find anyone better than him and that you were always in the wrong, no matter the situation. During your now frequent arguments Rafe would blame you for his drug problem, saying that you were stressing him out and shit.

He would also make you believe that you were the one to change and that you don’t love him anymore. You two have had countless fights about Rafe claiming you don’t love him, resulting in you leaving his house in a hurry to go to yours. Some fights have gotten so out of hand that you wanted to skip town all together.

Despite all of the shit Rafe has put you through you truly believed that you still loved him. And at times you wished and hoped and even craved for the old Rafe. The Rafe before drugs. The Rafe that you only saw. Every now and then that side would come out, making you hopeful that staying with him despite the mental turmoil he has put you through was the right decision.

You so desperately wanted Rafe to go back to the boy you feel in love with. Although he seemingly reminded you every day while he was high as to why you weren’t enough for him and anyone else, you still stayed. You knew you should’ve left a long time ago, but you chased after the glimpses of the old Rafe you would see in between his highs.

Feels like a lifetime Just tryna get by While we're dying inside I've done a lot of things wrong Loving you being one But I can't move on

Every day that went by while you continued to stay with Rafe dragged on and on. He was weighing you down and there was nothing you’d rather do than sleep. Rafe has torn down your self esteem so much that you barely had any left if at all.

When you laid in bed at night after days worth of physically draining work at the charity you volunteered at for your college applications your mind would drift. It would drift and make you question as to what things have you done in your life that were wrong.

You realized that loving Rafe was something you did wrong, which causes you to allow yourself to cry for the first time in weeks. Over the past few weeks you could feel your optimism and happiness deteriorating and it was all thanks to your boyfriend who supposedly loved you.

And once again, despite all of this you still found yourself madly in love with Rafe.

So tell me to leave, I'll pack my bags

At some point everyone eventually reaches their breaking point. The straw that broke the camels back was Rafe failing to show up to your two year anniversary dinner. Instead he opted out to party with his friends and get high on the substance that he loved more than you.

The embarrassment of being stood up by your boyfriend at one of the most prestigious restaurants in town made your skin crawl. You remember the sad glances and whispers you received from the other guests enjoying their meals.

Deciding to go home after an hour and a half of waiting you saw all over snapchat where Rafe was and what he was too busy doing to show up to your anniversary dinner. At that point you didn’t know what you expected. Rafe promised you while he was sober that he was going to come and it was going to be the best date you’ve ever been on. However, you were let down again.

A few days went by and Rafe hasn’t even bothered to text you. He was probably too busy on a bender or getting high while sleeping on Toppers couch.

As you sat in your bed you looked around your room and at the pictures that scattered your walls. The pictures of you and Rafe used to bring you so much happiness, but now you felt nothing. Your eyes continue to scan your baby blue walls and they eventually land on the acceptance letters to the universities you applied to that your mom made you frame.

You were supposed to stay in the Outer Banks and go to the university in the town over. That way you could see Rafe on a daily basis, in fact it was his idea. But that’s not what you wanted anymore. Letting out a huff you start to pack your bags knowing that your decision was going to potentially alter your life forever.

Watching Rafe turn into a different person all the while you tried to help him was draining and heart breaking. Everything you’ve been through the past year has piled up and you were finally done.

It was your time to leave.

Question of the day: Whats your biggest relationship deal breaker and why?

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mor-beck-more-problems · 3 years ago

Text

Death Rings Twice || Morgan and Eilidh

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @braindeacl @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: While searching for answers, Morgan and Eilidh realize the situation is worse than they realized.

CONTAINS: conversations with dead people

They came and went in waves. The first time, only the first time, Eilidh believed them to be just a part of being a ghost. James had done so many times—go in and out of view like the watts on a bulb. But those changes had been consensual, come upon by his own will, and he never truly left. Not like she had, and did, and still do. Moments of nothingness. Blink and she was gone, truly and ultimately gone. Blink and she was back, not even left with a memory. Just a faint recollection, a faint feeling of a blank. Like trying to recall a blackout. You knew it was there, you felt it too—pages torn from a book. But you also didn’t, couldn’t, for nothingness was all that remained. Nothingness that seemed to be her destination. Those blinks got longer, longer, longer. With no sign of slowing.

Eilidh knew Morgan was facing her own bouts of strangeness. Maybe they were connected. Morgan believed them to be—magic set loose like a wildfire, with them in its path. Consumed in its flames, would it burn them all the way to the ground? Or would they come out the other side, for the better? This curiosity, and a gnawing worry, compelled her forward, right into Morgan’s residence. She ventured through those great and winding halls, as if she already haunted the place. She ought to haunt at least one. Before it became too late. Passing by an open door, that familiar face was finally seen. Eilidh stopped, stared. Felt that nothingness threatening to claim her again. Visage flickered—like a light on its dying breath. But the feeling passed, leaving her there, shining on. The motion, or her very presence, must’ve caused a stir. The two women met each other’s eyes.

“Boo.”

Morgan just needed to find the right book. Zombies had been around for ages and so even if whatever was happening to her was obviously very rare, it must have happened to someone else before. And that someone must have wanted to write it down. Because magic directly affecting a zombie body at all was worth writing about; doing so in this cruel, backwards way defied everything she understood about magic and living matter. So, Morgan sat on the floor in the library, swimming through a large haul from the scriberary, searching. When Macleod appeared behind the volume she was holding, calling boo, Morgan yelped with surprise.

“Oh! Stars! That was--” she laughed uneasily. “That was something alright.” She sat back and looked at the other woman. She had believed everything Macleod had told her but seeing her friend, so wild and earthbound, so connected to her flesh, floating and transparent was uncanny in a way her mind struggled to process. “I wish I had good news on the funky magic boogaloo front, but there’s just lots of dead ends so far. But that can wait. Are you...okay? At least, relative to our situation?

Good-hearted chuckle lept out of Eilidh—breaking the illusion of the spooky ghost in the corner. She closed the distance between the two, eyes curiously scanning the cover and pages of the book nestled in Morgan’s lap. More were strewn across the room, circling Morgan in a protective barrier, or perhaps a tomb—either for future study or determined unsuited. Where one group ended and the other began, she wasn’t sure. Mouth parted to offer assistance, her hands and mind well-versed to such a skill, but the words quickly died just as her flesh had. Wouldn’t be much use when turning a page was a difficult endeavor. She had learned that fact rather quickly.

When attentions were placed on her, Eilidh perked. “Aye. Convinced this guy his cereal was sentient. And some lady she could control plants.” Snort of delight shot out her nose as their faces returned to memory. But as the chuckles faded, so too did this delight. That lingering worry remained. A hand brushed her lips, seemingly in thought. “Also…” In absence of external stimuli, she bit on a knuckle. But where a prick of sensation, a prick of life, would usually awaken her hand, only a mere acknowledgement greeted her. Fucking hell, how has James not gone mad by now? A low growl rumbled, and at least it felt nice in her chest. Familiar. “Been going in and out. Kinda like blinking. If you did that with a soul. James says it isn’t normal. And they’re getting longer.” Another knuckle met her teeth; that same hollow impact replayed. “Guess it’s soon time.” Her eyes scanned Morgan, transferring the focus back to the other woman. Wandering gaze found the darkness under her friend’s eyes. “What ‘bout you?”

For what seemed like a long time, Morgan could only stare at her friend. Or rather, through her friend. She could see every title on the shelf behind her if she concentrated enough, because Macleod, despite speaking and smiling and grinning and mischief-ing as much as she had ever done, was incorporeal and transparent. Like a ghost. A baby undead ghost. Which wasn’t supposed to exist. “..Blinking? What? Uh, that sounds bad. And weird. I’ve never heard of ghosts doing that before. They cross over, and they have some kind of teleportation thing, but they don’t play peek-a-boo with a whole plane of existence. That’s…” Another very strange, logic defying twist of magic.

Morgan cleared her head and tried to answer Macleod’s questions. “I woke up at the beginning of the week able to feel again. All my physical senses that went dull were back. It took some adjusting, but I think it was more or less how they were when I was alive. But then my body started decaying even when I was full, or more than full, and healing was fading and now it’s basically gone! So I’m basically rotting away for no discernable reason, and I get to be super physically aware of all of it. Also, I smell, so maybe it’s a good thing you don’t have any senses right now. When did your stuff start? I mean, none of this should be happening at all, because the undead are immune to spellcasting magic that engages with our body’s energy, as far as I can tell, and we’re immune to most drugs and toxins, and I haven’t found anyone else in town being effected like this, so it’s not the big cosmic town bullshit--but if we can get a timeline, maybe that will tell us...something.” She sighed and closed the book in her lap, staring off into anywhere but Macleod’s face. The whole world was slipping through their fingers, just when she’d thought it really did want them after all.

Curt laugh escaped Eilidh. “Yeah. You’re telling me.” Just her luck to be subjected to the worst game of peek-a-boo in existence. Maybe her soul truly did want to pass over, but this supposed magic was keeping her here? Maybe the universe was trying to remedy the fact she shouldn’t have remained—at least not in this form—but the magic tried to go against the very will of the cosmos? Thoughts followed that tangent until it caused a dizziness. Bah, there’s too many maybes and what-ifs. She snapped a finger, sharp noise bringing her back to the present. Mind focused on Morgan’s words, her own story. As such a tale unfolded, her face fell, allowing that worry bubbling inside to find itself in her eyes, her parted mouth. Just as quickly, her eyes tightened, mouth closed, jaws tightened. Resolve overcame the worry, gave her goal new fire. “Aye. That is real bad.” Especially when it started so promising—the worst kind. “Best we hop to it prompto, then. Know anything I can look over? Double-check? Triple-check?” The ways of magic, the ways others shifted the energies of the world to their will, was not a strong subject of hers. But perhaps there were other pieces of the puzzle her ever inquisitive eyes could find. She needed that hunt, after all. Needed something to do—when all things physical brought boredom at best, her mind frequently rushed into restlessness.

Eilidh recalled the start of this plight. “I died beginning of this week.” The same as Morgan’s own unfortunes; a fact that did not escape her. “Or alchemied this way. Or some other magic.” At this point, she wasn’t sure which was true. Death was more reasonable to her. Familiarity always felt more reasonable, and she was very familiar with death. But Morgan seemed convinced its cause was magically induced and, well, she was the expert in that regard. Not Eilidh. “Blinked out the first time a few days later. Didn’t think too much of it. ‘Til a few more days later when it kept happening.” How much longer would this affliction let her speak with Morgan? Would it rip her away mid-sentence, as it had with Milo? Sharp snap of fingers returned. Temptation to bite the nagging thoughts away surfaced—to subject another knuckle to her teeth. But the snap sufficed. For now.

Morgan sat back, thinking. The town had already been shifted in the cosmos by the time she and Macleod were affected. And no one else she spoke to, dead or undead, was feeling anything strange in their body. So why them? And how? It didn’t seem right that the universe should literally change its rules just to be cruel to them. And if an alchemy break-through was responsible for Macleod, it didn’t explain her progressive deterioration. She would have to be confined to a circle in order for that to be the case, and the energy required to continually re-write her body would be outrageous.

She looked over at Macleod, aching to give her an answer. “I only have a few general compendiums on the stuff, but maybe there’s some kind of sickness, or some kind of critter that can affect people like us. Like, bookwyrms and brain biters mess with people’s brains, and there’s plenty of necrophages out there maybe…” Some magic, universe defying critter happened to chomp on both of them without their noticing on the exact same night? Morgan could hardly stand to hope for the idea, it sounded ridiculous enough in her head. But she had to try. If she stopped trying, this thing would take her. “Maybe there’s one that can explain this. Weird abilities that make people incorporeal or mess with their magic composition. Um, it’s those thick ones back there--” She pointed. “Or you could check out the area, see if anything unusual is sniffing around. Every critter’s gotta eat and sleep somewhere.” She smiled feebly. “We’ll figure this out before it’s too late. We’ve got too much to live for, right?”

“Critters!” The word shot out like a bullet. That was more Eilidh’s forte. A hand returned thoughtfully to her lips, though a bite did not come. Her mind was moving far too fast to focus on anything physical. Feet began to pace without her knowledge, beating against the air as if they contributed to her movements anymore. “Those bees cause hallucinations…” What were they called again? Those dick-hive bees. She had still yet to encounter them personally—such a treat will have to wait when she finally visits… that woman. Knowledge was acquired specifically for said venture, so she really should remember… “Eintykara.” But as research came tumbling back into her mind, so did an issue. “No. Cold.” Such weathers would cause them to grow sluggish—springing into action now would make no sense. “Hm. Caballi?” Her encounter with one had been very brief, but James’ was much more intimate. And she had certainly heard stories that mimicked their own. Of ghosts being attacked by them. Or more accurately, being fed upon by them. Could be the cause of their deterioration, those astral feedings. Perhaps they can affect zombies too? “But never saw…” They weren’t exactly invisible, to people like them. But much of them was left unknown, on this world at least. Could be a special sort?

More ideas flowed into Eilidh’s mind. And just easily flowed back out—conflictions and contradictions found in every sort. Though the universe was vast and wide and full of exceptions. Hardly anything could be said with certainty. And hardly everything was stored in her mind—that vastness refusing to be contained in just one thing. Or even in one world; creatures not found in any book had laid just beyond those cracks in the air. One, or two, or more could’ve slipped through. “You could be onto something.” Her feet stilled, and it was only then she realized she had been on the move at all. But they already missed that constant motion. Focus turned to the mentioned books, causing a chuckle to stir. “Would. But these guys do whatever the hell they want.�� She wiggled her fingers and they blended and meddled together, like waves crashing into each other. “I’ll look ‘round. You focus on the books. We’ll see this through.” There was an attempt to turn and leave, but something held her there just a moment longer. Those hints of decay sprinkled on Morgan’s form—some grown worse over the course of their conversation. “Think you’ll manage?” The question spanning far beyond just Morgan’s research capability.

With the way Macleod lit up at the suggestion, Morgan could actually start to believe they were onto something. The world was full of strange things and there was so much they didn’t know. Of course if it wasn’t someone it had to be something. Maybe even a creature from another dimension. Some of the critters in those portals had probably gotten stuck on this side when Adam closed them, too, and maybe that was why they couldn’t understand the rules this infection worked on.

Morgan met Macleod’s eyes bravely. They were looking for a needle in a haystack. It might take weeks to comb through all of White Crest and identify the exact creatures they were looking for, especially if they turned out to be beyond sapient record on this world. But they would figure it out, wouldn’t they?

Somewhere beyond them, bewildered geese flapped their way to the sky and called to each other for safety, snow crunched under tired feet, a wind blew through the hollow tunnels of the world. Morgan took it all in, staring through the frosted windows. This was a world that buried its secrets better than its dead, but it was also one where life persisted in the most bitter cold. If anyone was proof of that, surely it was her and Macleod. And Morgan had a future to get to; Macleod probably did too, and if she didn’t, she deserved to stick around long enough to come up with one. So she had to be okay. There wasn’t room in this scenario for her not to be.

Morgan summoned her best smile and hoped with all she had that Macleod believed it and let some of the warmth rub off on her. “I’ve got this. And so do you. Death cut us a break once, right? Twice should be just as easy.”

That smile filled the air, found its way on Eilidh’s face, lifting her spirits in turn. Hell yeah. They had this. That implication hung in the air, threatened to bring it all back down. The one where she died. This soul she carried certainly had—will again. And technically death had touched her a few days prior. But the implication ran deeper than that, tied her to an assumption she kept getting chained to. But she did not let that weight touch her; only a twitch of a brow, a tighten of lips, betrayed these thoughts. Resolve kept her steady—kept them both just the same. Fate may try to give them a losing hand, but she’ll keep playing until a full house. And if not, well, seems she’s had her time then. Her soul will enjoy more, if these pesky blinks didn’t consume her in totality. For fate was hungry this week—eating away at her very soul, at Morgan’s very flesh. Was it feeding on others? How far did this hunger spread? She had no mind, no time to worry about passerbyers on the street. Those teeth readied to pierce again, steal more of them away. But she’ll try her hand at dentistry and rip them out before all was taken. “Good to hear! Let’s give this a–”

She vanished.

#wr eilidh #wr chatzy #wr eilidh chatzy #death rings twice

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cpd5021 · 4 years ago

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Birthday

Happy Wednesday!!!!!! One week closer!!! I can’t believe we’re this close, I can’t wait!! This is a short little fic based on the prompt:

“Hailey's birthday but she hasn't told anyone and then Jay finds out.”

The work day starts off like any other, Jay brings Hailey a cup of coffee from her favorite shop, they meet in the parking lot at the district, and they banter all the way up the stairs leading into the bullpen. Except something’s off. There’s a slight edge to Hailey that only Jay picks up on. He tries to question her about it gently, but she brushes him off with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. They settle into their desks, barely having the time to power on their computers, before they catch a case. Hailey perks up at the mention of a long day with a slow case and Jay realizes she’s viewing this as a distraction. From what? He doesn’t know. Jay keeps a watchful eye on her as they head out to begin the investigation, hoping for any indication as to what might be wrong with her.

About an hour later, they’re climbing back into his truck, ready to head back to the 21st when Jay catches a glimpse of the somber look in her eyes. She’s done everything in her power today to avoid eye contact with him and he’s beginning to worry. He starts the truck, letting the loud grumble of his engine fill the cab as he decides how to proceed.

“Ready for some lunch?”

He asks, starting with a light topic and one he figures is safe. She sends him a quick smile but shakes her head no before gluing her eyes out the window in front of her.

“Not even some Bartoli’s?”

He bribes, hoping to win her over. Once again she shakes her head, not looking at him this time.

“I’m good Jay.”

And the way she says it has him thinking there’s a double meaning behind it and she’s subtly letting him know not to push it. He nods, letting out a quick sigh as he pulls them out onto the street and heads back toward the district.

They settle back into their desks, working away at their individual tasks at hand. The case is proving to be time consuming, something that annoys Jay but seems to make Hailey relax just a little. A few more hours pass before they catch a lead and are headed back out to his truck, Hailey walking slowly behind Jay, hands shoved into her coat pockets and head tucked low against her chest. She climbs in beside him, the silence between them nearly deafening and putting Jay even more on edge. He knows she’ll open up to him eventually, but the wait is killing him. He just wants to help.

The pair finishes up at the location, after another two hours has passed and Jay’s stomach is audibly protesting his lack of food today. He doesn’t ask this time and instead points them to a little sandwich shop nearby, one he knows Hailey loves. He parks and jumps out, happy when he notices her doing the same. He orders first, moving along the line until he reaches the cashier, nodding that he’ll get Hailey’s too. Hailey shoots him a look, feigning annoyance with an eye roll as she flashes her membership card in front of him. Of course she has a punch card here, it’s somewhere she frequents. He’s happy for the almost banter the little exchange provides him, seeing just a glimpse of the usual Hailey back even if it’s just a few seconds. He hands the girl behind the counter some cash and Hailey hands the card over. The girl smiles at Jay when she hands him the change and then turns to Hailey with an even bigger smile after she quickly glances at the screen.

“Happy birthday! Have a good day you guys.”

No sooner do the words leave the girls mouth is Hailey rushing back out the front door, leaving Jay to grab the sandwiches feeling confused. His brain catches up quickly as he puts two and two together, racing out the door behind her. She’s already in the truck when he finally reaches her so he climbs in and passes her bag over. He can tell by the slight flush to her cheeks and the way she’s definitely avoiding looking at him that she’s fighting back some emotions. He decides to let her be, not wanting to push her over the edge, but tucking away the new information he’s just unintentionally learned. Today was Hailey’s birthday. Jay chides himself internally over the fact he didn’t already know this, but resigns to the fact that Hailey isn’t very open about her personal life. They eat in silence before Jay drives them back to the district, both eager to finish out this day.

After what feels like the longest day ever, their shift is finally done. Hailey has spent the remainder of the day avoiding him, even going so far as to take Kim with her when she had to go back out to question someone. Jay does his best to let her be, but decides he’s not letting her leave without talking to him. He finds her in the locker room, hurriedly gathering her things from her locker. She jumps when she notices him, something that leaves a slight ache in his heart. He catches a brief glimpse into her eyes again and hates what he sees there. She tries to send him a smile but it falls flat as she attempts to rush past him. He steps out, halting her movements and she lets out a huff of air, eyes still glued to the ground.

“Wanna grab a beer?”

It’s a peace offering he hopes she’ll accept but she doesn’t. Head tucked even lower, she steps around him, close enough that her shoulder brushes against his chest. He watches her leave and his mouth is speaking before he can stop himself.

“Happy birthday.”

It’s so quiet it almost comes out as a whisper but she hears him and it stops her in her tracks. He watches as her back stiffens, her shoulders tightening up in an almost defensive manner. She doesn’t move and he instantly regrets saying it as the silence lingers between them. He doesn’t want to be the first to speak, but she makes no attempt to start. She hasn’t moved an inch and if she wasn’t standing he’d be worried if she was even breathing. He takes a step closer, then another, before he’s standing right next to her. Jay looks down at her face, only getting her side profile from his position, but he see’s wetness trailing down her cheek and it freezes him to his core.

“Hey…”

He says softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. She jumps at the contact and he instantly pulls away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything..”

He trails off, panic rising within him as more tears travel down her face.

“It’s not your fault.”

She whispers her reply, her voice coming out hoarse from her held back emotion. She wipes at her face with her sleeve, giving him a sad smile through bloodshot eyes. He tries to smile back but the worry over what she’s going through is too much to handle. She nods towards the door and he grabs his things to quickly follow her. They make it out to his truck and she wordlessly climbs inside, sheltering them from the cool weather and any eavesdroppers that might be lurking in the parking lot. He shuts his door and angles himself to look at her, her frame seeming even more tiny in the dim light of his truck, her eyes still red with tears.

“I’ll take it you’re not a fan of birthdays?”

He asks lightly when she doesn’t start. Hailey laughs at his statement, but it's a cold one filled with everything but humor.

“When I was ten, my mom wanted to throw me a special birthday party because she thought it was a significant age. My dad wouldn’t let her invite anyone but she still tried to make the best of it. She spent all day baking this cake and it honestly looked amazing. When it came time for cake, my brother wanted to cut it. My dad was already drunk and his mood was deteriorating quickly. Well my brother came running out of the kitchen with this big knife and my dad flipped, snatched him up and shoved him towards the table I was standing next to. It wasn’t my brother's fault but the knife hit me in the abdomen and of course all hell broke loose.”

She paused for a moment, carefully lifting up her shirt just enough so a tiny scar was visible just above her belt line. Jay wanted to reach out and trace it, to let her know that it was okay, but kept his hands to himself.

“Then it was somehow my fault for standing there so I got it right after he did. The worst part is I remember the cake getting knocked off the table in the commotion and my mom on the floor crying as she cleaned it up. So yeah, I guess you could say I’m not a fan of birthdays…”

Hailey trailed off, wiping new tears from her face and letting out a nervous chuckle. Jay felt sick hearing her story and the things she went through but was happy she opened up to him.

“Hailey…”

He started, wanting to apologize for her childhood but she stopped him with a raise of her hand.

“Don’t say it. I’m okay, I promise. It just sneaks up on me every now and then, even twenty years later.”

She gave him another small smile and he returned it.

“Well, I say we should go get that Bartoli’s and maybe some dessert afterwards. It’s not every day we crack a case like the one we did today.”

He teased and she laughed wholeheartedly this time. She nodded, wiping her face one more time and then buckling herself into the seat.

“I suppose that doesn’t sound so bad, as long as you’re going.”

Jay couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face at her words.

“Well obviously, my presence is the present.”

Jay winked, pretending to flinch when she punched his arm softly.

“Shut up.”

Hailey said through a chuckle. Jay started the truck and drove off, hoping to change her mind about birthdays and making a promise to himself that she would never have a bad one again.

#chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #halstead and upton #jay halstead #hailey upton #halstead #jay x hailey #upstead #upton

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barbasbodaciousbeard · 4 years ago

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IF You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Part 5

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordam. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character,

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

March 2015

“You’ll see me two times in three weeks,” Victoria smiled, wine in hand as she settled in the seat beside Sonny. It was Tommy and Bella’s engagement party, which Gianni was treating as a bridal shower. The whole engagement would only have been three months, and it seemed the two younger Carisis had cost her the months of parties and planning Gina and Teresa had given her. At least Sonny and Victoria had gotten married in a church a year after they eloped. Tommy and Bella would be getting married outdoors, while she was pregnant. Everyone pretended not to notice the slightest bit of a bump, easily confused for weight gain if you didn’t know, when Gianna was around before fussing over Bella the minute she left.

“I’m a lucky bastard.”

“I hope you told your squad.”

“We’re all going out the Saturday before. I’m doing it then.”

“Really pushed it off, huh?” she asked, and he didn’t like the hurt she was trying to hide.

“The cases got heavy during the holidays. And then we busted up a sex ring and I was undercover. That also felt like a weird time. I kinda realized there wasn’t going to be a good one.”

“Yeah. Tommy and Bella inviting them kinda twisted your arm, huh?”

“Yeah. But it’s good. The last step.”

“They all coming?”

“Olivia for sure. I think Rollins and Amaro are coming together, and then honestly? Barba will when he finds out there’s gossip. He’s kind of a dick, but an amazing attorney. I really wanna shadow him sometime, but I’m too green to ask, y’know?”

“Yeah. I’m sure it’ll be nice when the time comes. And I think it’ll make Bella and Tommy happy. If it weren’t for them, it coulda been bad.”

“I got brother brain instead of cop brain, so yeah. I still can’t believe she’s having a baby.”

“It’s wild. And I know you don’t like Tommy, but he’s got a good heart.”

“And got locked up.”

“Everyone has their own problems.”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Same deal as Gina’s wedding? No marriage problems talk. Just have fun and be sentimental.”

“Deal. Though if your squad asks, I’m not ignoring it.”

“Fair. But also tell the cute stories.”

“I’ll bring the photo albums.” He laughed, arm settled around her shoulders. When they’d moved out, she’d taken to collecting all the pictures of them and adding them to a photo album. She’d gotten copies of dozens of pictures from his mom, who had always kept them organized by year in boxes. When she left, Victoria took them, and he missed being able to thumb through the pages. There were multiple volumes at this point. The pages got harder to find. She didn’t scrapbook. Instead, she used the pages with four slots each, keeping them up as time went on. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were pictures from Gina’s wedding in the most recent. Maybe there were even pictures of them separate from each other to bridge the gap.

“Please don’t give Rollins and Barba that ammo. They’ll steal the really bad ones.”

“I like the ones from prom the best. Could we look any more 2004?”

“We looked damn good.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not super dated.”

“True. It’s okay. We got the pictures from Gina’s wedding. We don’t look like we’re separated in them.”

“True. You got the dimples on full display.”

“I seen the dresses Bella picked. I know you hate it. You won’t like this one so much.”

“I love it.” He raised a brow at the feigned enthusiasm. “Dom, that pink is gonna be so bad on a pale red head.”

“I like you in pink.”

“You like me in anything.”

“Because you look good in anything. Dark green’s my favorite though.”

“Mine too. Thank God for Gina. I’ll wear that dress again.”

“I’m sure I’ll have to go to some fundraising thing…”

“You asking me to be your date before you even know?”

“You’re always who I ask to be my date.”

“I better be. We’re married.”

“Gettin’ awful territorial, Mrs. Carisi.”

“You put your ring on your hand today.”

“And you put them both on the right finger.”

“It’s almost like we’re making progress.”

“I want to tell you. I’m ready. But not until after the wedding.”

“Why then?”

“In case you don’t look at me all happy anymore.”

“Literally nothing you could tell me could make me not want to work on it. Unless you cheated on me.”

“You’re the first, last, and only.”

“You are too.”

“We oughta stop being sappy. People are coming and we got put with people we don’t know.”

“Gross. It’s like ma is mad at me.”

“I’m just glad she knew better than to try and make us sit apart. I’m sittin’ with my wife.”

“You two aren’t even pretending to be awkward,” Bella teased, leaning to hug Victoria and then her brother. “This nonsense almost over?”

“Butt out,” Sonny warned, but he was still smiling. “Strictly married talk.”

“Two weeks and ya can’t use that excuse.”

“Then it’ll be strictly talks with my wife.”

“Stop, Dom,” Victoria laughed. “You look beautiful, Bella. How you feeling?”

“Kid’s making me tired as hell. I’m excited though. Tommy talks to her every night. It’s been hard, after what that bitch did. But he’s doing so good.”

“I can tell. I’m just glad you’re so happy.”

“I really am, T.”

“You look beautiful. I like this dress a lot.”

“Thanks. I like feeling all bridal.” Sonny was content to watch Bella and Victoria catch up. Over the last year, he’d come to realize every time they talked came around to when Victoria was taking him back. He probably hadn’t helped that any, constantly acting like he didn’t know why she’d gone. Thanksgiving had changed that. He stood up to his mom more, told her he was in therapy, and openly defended Victoria. The last part wasn’t new, but this time it was specific to her decision to leave. He’d told his family in no uncertain terms that, while he thought she should’ve told him earlier instead of letting the hurt fester, he had done something wrong and he was trying to fix that so they could start over. His mom and dad didn’t like that. Generationally, bottling up feelings was more acceptable to them. His sisters, on the other hand, hugged him tight and told him they were proud of him.

Their table filled up quickly as guests arrived, and Sonny was happy to help Victoria keep conversation moving until his parents spoke. That was the plan for tonight. Appetizers, speeches from the bride and groom’s parents, dinner, dessert, and finally dancing and cocktails. It was quickly apparent all the family’s required-but-barely-liked invites went to the table they’d put Victoria and Sonny at, a sure sign Gianna was over dealing with their drama. He was thankful his sister wouldn’t be having assigned seating at the reception for anyone, the bridal party included, though the thought of having Victoria joining his squad at a table made him nervous.

“I thought they’d never go dance,” she said softly against his ear, and Sonny smiled more from the closeness than the sentiment. Damn, it felt good to have her on his team. She wasn’t there day in and out, so these events felt more valuable to him now.

“Right? He’s from dad’s work. Known each other forever. I don’t know why the hell they invited him.” Her hair tickled his cheek as they gossiped, watching the people around the room and nursing their drinks. He decided they didn’t have a heavy case, so he’d tell the squad the next day, that way the giddiness of the evening would still be fresh. When they’d both finished their drinks, he took her hand, pulling her towards the floor.

“I was comfy,” she protested half heartedly before she realized he’d pulled her up for Sinatra. One hand on his shoulder and the other in his, she let him lead the few moves they’d learned in a ballroom class they’d taken. It had only been a couple years into their marriage, and they took it because it made them feel older and less like imposters. Now, all either could really remember was a boxstep, and their frame was terrible. That didn’t matter though. What did matter was Sonny resting his temple against hers to sing softly against her ear. When one swing tune melted into another, she was grateful Gianna had picked the music for this wedding event.

“Looks like we get to dance all slow again,” he teased, giving her a spin before holding her close.

“For someone getting mad when we get along, your ma worked real hard for us to get along.”

“She’s just mad it isn’t like when we were kids. If we fought in middle school, she’d give us a pizza, and we’d be over it.”

“Very true,” she grinned, looking up at him. He looked handsome, and after what came out to two years of seeing him deteriorate, she was grateful he was actually getting back to himself. She wasn’t sure if therapy, the job, or the slow progress they were making was the reason, but he was her Sonny again. He kept his hair cropped, face shaved, and smile present.

“You’re staring,” he teased before tightening his grip to dip her.

“You look good. Like not just handsome. Happy.”

“Thanks,” he smiled softly when he pulled her up again. “I’m learning to process stuff better.”

“That’s good.”

“It sounds messed up, but thank you for leaving. It made me go to therapy. I really wasn’t being good to you, Tor. And I’m sorry for that.”

“I forgive you, Dom. I wasn’t doing a good job talking to you about it. I’m sorry for not pressing until we hit the point of no return.”

“It’s okay,” he said, forehead resting on hers. “I think we’re gonna be okay.”

“Me too.”

“Can we get somebody to take pictures of us?”

“Bella got a photographer, and he has definitely taken several.”

“This camera shy Sonny or detective Sonny noticing?”

“It’s Sonny seeing Gina tell him to.”

“You ever feel like the kids are trying to get us back together?”

“All the time, doll. You know how often Gina or Teresa go after me? Then Bella meddles. But Mia? She’s 17 and bound and determined she’s going to be the one to talk sense into me. And she kind of is. She actually talked to me about therapy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t know why but knows my brain shuts down when I try to open up. Heard me tellin Teresa. Said it’s toxic masculinity makin’ me feel like talking about feelings is girly and I gotta get over that if I wanna stay married and making you happy.”

“I ever tell you Mia’s my favorite?”

“She’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“How long until we can run away and go to a bar?”

“Anybody else left yet?”

“Your cousin Lauren and some of Bella’s friends.”

“What bar you thinking? Because you look too pretty to not take to some classy wine bar.”

“That works for me.”

“Then let’s go tell Bella and Tommy bye.”

“What about Gianna?”

“It’s not her engagement.” Victoria almost felt like they were back in high school and cutting class as they said their goodbyes and got their coats. Why the hell his sister was getting married outdoors in winter was beyond Victoria, but she was grateful for the fact they’d probably end up rained out and inside for the ceremony. Sonny hailed a cab, waving when he saw his mother watching them from a window.

“She’s pissed, Dom.”

“Too bad. Taking you to a nice wine bar. Ordering a cheese board.”

“You’re making it sound like a date.”

“I been shit and ain’t taken you on one in two years. Can it be?”

“I’d like that.” She was nervous, but it had become apparent he was trying. From what he said, in a couple weeks he’d be willing to open up. He was also communicating with her as it was. Maybe treating the next two weeks as a trial run could be good. Ease into the heavy discussion. He’d mentioned being afraid how she’d react. Maybe if she was always there again, he’d realize she wasn’t leaving.

“C’mon, whatcha thinking Tor?”

“Just that I’m happy we’re making progress,” she fibbed, lacing their fingers. He looked to their hands and smiled, squeezing her fingers gently.

“Me too.” Soon enough they were settled at the bar, and Sonny, true to his word, had ordered a bottle of wine and a cheese board. She was turned to face him, legs carefully crossed. He had the leg towards the room on the footrest around the base of her stool. She was boxed in, but it felt reassuring when paired with his hand on her leg.

“So what’s this new squad like?” Sonny had never quite settled in anywhere since he’d become a detective, and he seemed smitten with his spot in Manhattan.

“So Barba is the ADA. Covered him. Liv is Lieutenant. Nobody ever really gave me a shot before. Apparently I can be abrasive.” He threw the hand not on her leg up in mock affront, and she laughed.

“You? Never.”

“I know,” he said, ignoring her sarcasm. “Rollins is cool. She’s been through a lot. She’s from Georgia though. I know you mostly grew up here, but you get that same Southern catty as her. Means it doesn’t get to me, because I know the secret. That she doesn't really mean it. Amaro is cool too. Had some problems too. Come to think of it, I don’t know why I’m acting like they won’t understand or accept our marriage. Fin’s been there longest, other than Lieu.”

“They treating you well?”

“They are. I think I’m finally not just a newbie. Barba gets mean. He’s not southern snarky though, so I think he means it.”

“I’ll fight him.”

“You’d win. He’s got a big mouth, but I don’t think he’d be scrappy.”

“I’m just real proud of you.”

“That means a lot to me, Tor.”

“You worked real hard. I watched that. And you’re going to be an amazing attorney.”

“I think I wanna try for the DA’s office if I pass the bar next year.”

“You’ll pass the bar.”

He rolled his eyes, pouring her another glass of wine as he topped off his own. When the night was over, he walked her to her door, kissing her goodnight and going to his own apartment. Sonny had decided that if it was going to be a date, he’d be a gentleman. Things were still delicate, and he had to leave early when she had a day off. He did text her the next morning to say he’d enjoyed their date, not wanting to have the wedding be the next time they talked. When he arrived at the precinct, he went to Olivia’s door, knocking.

“What’s going on, Carisi?”

“Since the squad’s coming to my sister’s weddin’ now, I felt like I gotta tell everybody I’m married and it’s really confusing.”

“Since you hadn’t mentioned it, I assumed you were getting a divorce.”

“You knew?”

“I did get sent your file when you started here. You know, I do read those.”

“I messed up bad, y’know? She’s a baker, right? And I’ve known her since I was five. Got married when we were eighteen. It was all good until I got to homicide.” Oliva gave him a sympathetic, knowing smile. “What I told you guys? How the women got to me? I was scared if I told her, I’d, like, tarnish her. Make her see all the bad stuff we see. It’s amazing talking to her, Lieu. She never stopped seeing the best in people. And I stopped acting like her husband because I thought just being close to me would transfer all of it. She left me, but we’re in a weird limbo. She’s in the wedding, and we act married when we see each other. This’ll only be the sixth time in a year and a half. But I don’t want her to meet everyone and they’re all like who the hell are you.”

“This job can make that part of life incredibly difficult, Carisi. I feel the same way sometimes about Noah. What if they take him? What if I’m so paranoid he grows up paranoid? Or god forbid he sees pictures? I try to refocus it. I think about how he can make light in those bad times. I don’t know much about her, but I’m guessing she does too?”

“She does.”

“Tell her, Carisi. If she knows something is wrong, she’ll be able to get through it.”

“I’m telling her after the wedding. My therapist said it might make it less stressful. I’ve been afraid she’ll change her mind when I tell her.”

“It’ll work out. It is a smart idea to make sure everyone knows. Barba’s coming with me, so I’ll make sure he knows and keep him in line.”

“Thanks Lieu. For this whole talk, but also giving me a shot.”

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