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yourdeepestfathoms · 5 years ago

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A Little Piece Of Heaven (part one)

[Tour!verse]

TW: Surprisingly not many...I guess mockery of religion, specifically Christianity and anything in that branch. Very minor mentions of self harm (like one time- if you blink you’ll miss it). But mainly this fic is just psychological.

———————

Lord of The Flies

Let’s get something clear really quickly: Joan Meutas was not religious. Did she used to be? Unfortunately, yes, but after seeing the world for what it really was, after getting an axe to her vagina from her beloved husband, she has realized that there was no merciful God who would save lost souls. It was all a hoax by crazy old folk from wherever Jerusalem was to herd people into one belief, thinking that it may make them more humane and friendly. But religion has done more harm than good- Christianity damns all non CIS heterosexuals to hell, Jews got murdered by the thousands, that one branch literally won’t eat anything besides fucking grain or some shit, Catholics are just rude as all hell, those fasting things literally cause people to STARVE TO DEATH, and for what? To appease some higher being? Do they truly think they will be saved? If God was so merciful and wonderful and kindhearted, why would he make things like murder and cancer and rape and torture?

Joan even once heard that the Bible stated that when a woman was on her period she had to leave her village and wasn’t allowed to come back UNLESS she had a turtle dove. She’s never read the Good Book before, so she doesn’t know if that was true or not, but it doesn’t sound unlikely given all the stupid rules she’s heard about.

So, no, Joan was not religious.

It’s strange, she thinks, how offended people get when she says it or simply hints at it. Their eyes will practically bug out of their skull and they probably pray for her “lost soul”, maybe even do that weird cross gesture on their chest when they think she isn’t looking. They look at her as if she was actually a demon spy loosed from hell and not just someone who has enough common sense to realize that an “all powerful father” was complete and utter bullshit.

That’s the thing- it’s like the word “atheist” was purposely made to seem like the most evil string of letters to ever be created. You know the words- those synonyms that just sound much worse than the actual root phrase (molest, slaughter, moist). Atheist just has this dark shade to it. Or so religious people say.

But enough of that! There’s a reason why such a taboo subject is being brought up.

Joan was going to contact Death.

As they say, desperate times calls for desperate measures. And desperate Joan was.

You see, her queen- Jane Seymour- used to be quite the woman. Sharp, beautiful, powerful, but also warm behind the closed court doors. Joan was very lucky to see this side of her as her youngest lady in waiting, often getting called gentle pet names and sometimes pats on her head if she was particularly lucky that day. As a touch-starved orphan servant, this was like a pot of gold to Joan- love and affection is something she’s craved long before reincarnation in the modern world. And, speaking of the resurrection, Joan thought she would get even more of Jane’s “Mum Treatment” since they had more time on their hands, but she was very, very wrong.

Jane...Jane was different. She changed. No longer was she the motherly, caring, strong woman from the past, but instead coming back as some reduced version of herself- slightly younger (24, 25, maybe even 23), more awkward and timid, and much less maternal. The way she now looked at Joan wasn’t with compassion, rather...plain curiosity, sometimes even aversion. Her memory of her young lady in waiting has waned- it was as if she didn’t remember that Joan had been at her side the whole time when she was bedridden after giving birth to Edward! Like she couldn’t conjure up the remembrance of a teenager literally watching her rot away and slowly die for days!

To say the least, Joan was not happy. Add in trauma, insomnia, hate on social media, constant stress and pressure from her profession, and a severe lack of friends and you can probably see why Joan was going to such extreme measures.

Now, she knew about the stories. She’s read The Monkey’s Paw. She knows about the consequences of one’s actions. Joan wasn’t going into this completely stupid- have some faith, will you?

Gambling with Death was a risk. A huge risk that could very well end with her soul being ripped out of her mouth or her flesh being worn by a supernatural being that then goes on to commit atrocities under her identity. And not only was it a massive risk to take, it was also very, very stupid.

If I have to spell it out for you, listen closely: Death knows things. A lot of things. They don’t call him the “Lord of The Flies” for nothing. Which is why he loves to play games for those desperate enough to contact him because he knows he is much smarter than whatever pathetic, miserable piece of useless garbage comes clawing at a mirror, begging him to reveal himself. And unless you have every secret of the universe, you’re probably going to get ass-blasted back to Tuesday.

Oh, what am I saying? You won’t get a second chance.

You’ll be long gone by then.

And whatever state the cops find your body in the next morning depends on whatever mood the beast was in.

However, in Joan’s case here, she is desperate and stupid enough to take the risk. In her eyes, she doesn’t have much to live for. She’s a slave to SIX- day and night she’s working endlessly over musical paperwork and the same songs over and over and OVER again. It doesn’t help that she isn’t the closest to the rest of the cast and is often left alone when everyone else goes out and has fun. The scars on her wrists are evident of how many nights she’s been alone.

Without Jane, she has nothing to live for. She needed her.

And that’s exactly why she was sitting on the floor in front of a mirror propped against the wall in the dark theater surrounded by candles and a semicircle of salt.

Joan has done a lot of studying up to this point. She knows she has everything correctly, now she just has to get Death to appear...and hope he doesn’t immediately pull her small intestines out from her throat for bothering him.

Joan stares into the mirror as hard as she can, closes her eyes, then counted to ten. Her eyelids lingered shut for longer than she would like to admit after she hit the number one, but she eventually pried them open.

It was not her reflection staring back at her.

To be honest, Joan wasn’t exactly sure of what she was expecting to see. Some parts of her believed nothing would happen, other parts convinced itself that a grim reaper-like figure or a horned, goat-legged demon would be kneeling on the other side of the glass wielding a scythe or pitchfork. However, a suit-wearing young man was not really something that crossed her mind in her theories.

If Joan wasn’t a lesbian, she might have found him attractive, but he definitely was at a straight woman’s perspective. Perfect smile, the most amazing cheekbone structure, unflawed olive skin, neatly combed brown-blonde hair, a broad chest, phenomenal shape- if it weren’t for his yellow eyes with slit pupils, he might have been the perfect lady’s man (although, knowing straight women, they probably wouldn’t care for his demon eyes- after all, you don’t need to see someone’s peepers to suck cock!).

Joan sat completely bewildered, all of her confidence draining and being replaced with dread that drenches her like a thick, dark oil spill. She can feel her hands, which are lying in her lap, starting to tremble and clenching her fingers doesn’t help at all. The ability to form a coherent sentence slips from her mind, so Death speaks first.

“Hello, Joan Meutas.”

This guy is the real deal. He pronounced her last name correctly!

Joan opens and closes her mouth like a fish out of water and Death is thoroughly amused by her sardine impression. He watches her through the glass, waiting patiently for her to learn how to enunciate again.

“H-h-hello-”

“Yes, yes, h-h-hello to you to,” Death laughed. He wasn’t directly trying to be cruel, but Joan’s self esteem was far enough into the ground to hear his jibe as a mockery of her understanding of the English language. “If I let you speak the whole time we are going to get nowhere! Pull yourself together, kid. You should see the look on your face! You look like you just got caught making out with the family goat!”

Joan’s expression remained one of fright.

“What? Didn’t you own a goat back in- god, what year were you born? 1517 or 1525? Historians paint it as both! But I thought a family farm animal was the big rave back then! I apologize- I need to catch up on the modern slang. Say, would you be considered a ‘boomer’? Because I have been DYING to use that phrase on someone who contacts me. Could you imagine it?” He warps his voice into one of a pruny old woman, “‘I wish for great fortune!’ ‘Okay Boomer.’” Death bursts into fits of maniacal laughter that sounded as if a thousand lost souls were chortling together at once.

Joan is still silent, but during Death’s monologue she was able to wire her brain back to functionality. She sits up a little bit straighter and Death notices, so he containers himself instantly, also fixing his posture.

“Ready to talk now?” He asked.

“Yes.” Joan answered.

“Wonderful,” There’s a glint in his piercing yellow eyes, “What is it that you desire of me?”

Joan gathers up all her courage, sits up a little taller, and says, “I desire to challenge you to a game of question-and-answer.”

The glint flares into a blaze of confidence. If Joan stares hard enough, she swore she could almost see the fires of Hell burning in his eyes.

“How fun,” The words ooze out from Death’s pale lips, soaked in liquid menace. “Shall I go over the rules?”

Joan nodded. She knew them, she knew she did, but it would be good to hear them one last time.

“Very well,” Death said. He cleared his throat and began speaking as if he were reading off of a manual, “Death’s Gambit: A two-player game between the Lord of The Flies himself and a human. After being conjured- just gonna skip over that process, you’ve clearly got it down, kid- and initiating the game, both parties will have sixty-six minutes and six seconds to answer as many questions correctly as possible. Anything can be asked- trivia, personal inquiries, riddles, even dares, as long as the salt circle is not exited. The catch of the whole thing is this: The Prince of Darkness is obligated to tell the truth only if the human answers correctly to his question or does a requested dare or the human manages to stump him. However, if he answers correctly or the human answers incorrectly to HIS question, he may lie about whichever question he wants. The score will not be revealed until the very end once the time is over. If the human wins, the Keeper of Souls MUST grant any one wish they have. If He-Who-Lies wins, the human will be the victim to whatever losing punishment he comes up with. Remaining rules include: The salt circle cannot be left- you may find yourself no longer in your dimension-, the game cannot be quit until the time is over, items like watches or phones are not permitted to be used to look up answers or keep track of the time. Good luck and Beelzebub be with you.”

Despite knowing this all already, hearing it out loud, spoken by the beast himself, made it all hit home for Joan. She was really doing this; she was gambling with Death.

She had to be the stupidest fuck to ever grace God’s green earth.

“Are you ready to begin?�� Death asked.

Joan took a deep death and answered, “Yes.”

A wicked smile curled on Death’s lips. The candles around Joan blaze.

“The game is on.”

A dark feeling weighed down on Joan after that was spoken. The air around her seemed to shift. Her gut was screaming at her to run away, to hide, to do something other than just sit there, but she couldn’t move. Not from fear, but from sheer will. She couldn’t be stupid. Who knows what lurked outside her thin salt circle....

As he usually did, Death initiates the game and asked his first question.

“What was the name of Catherine Parr’s true love?”

Like that, a cold stone drops deep into the pit of Joan’s stomach. Of all the questions she expected him to start off with, Tudor history was not one of them. It startles her, takes her by surprise, and she realizes very quickly that that’s exactly why Death asked it. He’s trying to disorientate her right off the bat and weaken her before she has the chance to get some points in.

She could not let that happen.

It’s just that- she didn’t know Tudor history outside of knowledge on her queen and whatever is said in the show. The others certainly did talk about their past lives, but Joan- she-

It stung, to say the least, when she realized that Death knew about her nonexistence friendships with the queens. And that he was targeting that.

“Thomas Seymour.” Joan finally said.

She was pretty sure that was the right answer...but not completely positive. And, because of that, her worried mind began to scream doubts inside of her brain.

Was that a trick question? He’s supposed to be the embodiment of pure evil- wouldn’t he think Henry is Parr’s true love? Was Henry the right answer?

“Your turn.” Death said, not reacting to Joan’s answer, which scares her even more.

“What’s- why did you choose to show up in that body?”

“Oooh, you’re starting with a personal inquiry!” Death said, laughing, “How fun! And I hope you’re not flattering yourself, Joan- I don’t look like this to make your pussy wet. Trust me, I could look way more attractive, but I know you.” Those three words slither into Joan’s ears and made her shudder. “Isn’t the whole point of being a lesbian to not be attracted to men?” Death laughed again, “But I look like this because I want to. I can take whatever shape I want! Remember that one time I was a snake? That was weird. Although, peeping at a naked chick was pretty damn fun. As a lesbian, you could probably appreciate the sight.”

For just a moment, the image of Death disappears, the mirror hazes to white, and Eve appears. Not the paintings you always see- THE Eve, bare breasts and vagina and all, and if Joan weren’t also asexual, her own genitals may have been burning with desperate pleasure.

“She was a sight.” Death said, returning to view. He chuckles, then immediately goes to his next question, “What was the exact height of Mount Everest in the year 1666?”

Joan’s heart just about stopped.

How in the holy hell was she supposed to know that? Then again, that was probably the point of asking such a thing.

“Three...hundred feet?” It came out as a question, but it’s taken as an answer and Death doesn’t react except for a slight twitch of his nose. “What...is the hardest piece to learn on the piano?”

“Liszt.” Death answered smoothly. “What animal can see the most amount of colors?”

“A...dolphin.” Joan physically cringed at her answer. “Who wrote Liszt?”

Is this what she was going to be doing the whole time? Asking the King of Hell fucking piano trivia?

“La Campanella.” Death once again answered perfectly. “What is the full chemical name for the antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication, Zoloft?”

Wasn’t that the medicine Joan was supposed to take for her anxiety?

“I- I don’t know.”

Death just hummed and awaited his next question. He didn’t laugh at her like she expected him to, which slightly lightened the blow of her stupidity.

“What’s my favorite song in SIX?”

“None of them. Why did you stop taking your Zoloft pills?”

The answer followed by such a question felt like Joan was just punched in the stomach with a spiked gauntlet. She swore she was winded by some unseen force (probably shock). Her breath hitched in her throat and she seemed like a little kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“I-” She hunched her shoulders around her neck. Death is giving her a curious look, which was at least better than worry or concern. “They- they weren’t helping me...so I didn’t think there was a point taking them if they weren’t going to fix me.”

Death hummed once more, this time louder and more enthusiastic. He clearly liked her answer.

“Interesting,” He mused, then quiets himself for the next question.

“What’s standing behind me?”

Ever since the game began, Joan picked up on the presence of something staring at the back of her head. She could feel their eyes burning into her skull, sometimes even breathing on the back of her neck.

Death smiled. “See for yourself.”

Joan saw nothing in the reflection, just darkness beyond the candles and Death, and she was not about to go and look away. She was scared about what would happen if she turned her gaze away from the mirror for even a second.

When Death realized Joan wasn’t going to fall for his tricks that easily, he quirked an impressed eyebrow and moved on.

“Will you greet the worker who just came in?”

Joan glanced fearfully to the corner of the room. A figure is hunched there. The glow from the candles just barely licks at their claws.

“What was their name? Terrance?” Death said, “Doesn’t he work in lightning?”

“That’s not Terrance,” Joan murmured.

Death took it as an answer, it seems. He leans in close to the glass and when he whispers, his hushed tone is right at the back of Joan’s ear.

“You don’t want to know what he really is.”

Joan can feel a panic attack rising in her chest. Death is trying to scare her, stray her from answering coherently or correctly and get her to waste time by freaking out. She had to steer the game back into calmness.

Or, rather, however calm a Devil game could get.

“What do I have in my pocket right now?”

Death seems a little bothered that the cryptic theme was interrupted, but he gets over it.

“One black pen that’s almost out of ink, a granola bar you promised yourself you would eat, and a rosary you stole from Aragon.” He said, “Oh and, by the way, that isn’t going to protect you from me. So return it as soon as possible or Aragon is gonna be PISSED!” He laughed, imagining the storm the golden queen would cause if she caught Joan with such a precious belonging.

Joan swallowed thickly. She didn’t want to check her pockets. She didn’t want to know that he was right.

“What is the color of the sky?”

It seemed like an easy enough question, but Joan, believe it or not, knew better than to fall for such a simple trick. She wracked her brain for a moment, then answered, “Black.”

Death doesn’t react aside from licking over his dried lips. His tongue is too pointy. Joan moves on.

“Does Jane care about me?”

Honestly, the question kind of surprised her. It bubbled up from her throat from out of nowhere- yes, she had been wanting to ask it so badly, but she didn’t actually expect it to come out.

“Yes.” Says Death.

For a moment, joy bursts through Joan, but the metaphorical, celebratory confetti is sucked up by the vacuum of doubt.

Is he lying? Is he giving me false hope? Or is he telling the truth?

“What’s your blood type?” Death asked.

“A...AB.”

Like Joan fucking knew that.

“What’s my favorite color?”

“Blue.” Death smiled, “Because the blue sky would always remind you of opportunities for a better life.”

A shiver runs down Joan’s spine. She didn’t like how he knew that.

“What’s something that you can’t eat for lunch or dinner?”

He’s asking a riddle. Joan bit the inside of her cheek, thinking.

It couldn’t be a food. That was too easy.

Think, Joan, think!

“...Breakfast.”

Death chuckles. Joan doesn’t know what to think of that.

Twenty minutes pass by in a blur. Cold sweat soaks Joan’s brow, dripping down her face, but she’s too scared to move from her stiff position. Her back muscles hurt from sitting like a statue for so long- how the hell does Death look so relaxed? Then again, he doesn’t really have much to worry about.

He doesn’t have to worry about the possibility of being mutilated or dragged to Hell or that that figure in the corner has been getting closer and closer as the minutes passed by.

“Do you think every human deserves to live?”

The question came out of nowhere, really. Death had been asking mostly trivia up until that point. He tittered at Joan’s stunned expression, then raised his eyebrows as if to say, “Well?”

“No.”

Joan didn’t hesitate because she knew it was the truth. Not everyone deserved to live. Rapists, pedophiles, serial killers, racists, homophobes, terrorists, abusers- they didn’t deserve life. People like them deserved to die.

And anyone who doesn’t believe that is a fucking idiot.

“Do YOU think every human deserves to live?”

Death scoffed. “Of course not.” He peered at Joan, really analyzing her for the first time. His yellow slit eyes raked over the girl, making her feel uncomfortable and violated. “You know, you and I think a lot alike. Not many humans give ‘no’ as their answer. They think optimism will make them seem like a good person. It’s pathetic.”

Joan just nodded silently.

“Now...where were we? Oh, yes.” Death leaned in, “Which queen suffered the most?”

Joan furrowed her eyebrows. The whole point of the show was to not compare, especially traumas, but...

“Katherine Howard.”

Come on- clearly K Howard had it the worst. The girl was violated by four different men before she was an adult! None of the other five stories combined could possibly rank to the fifth queen’s suffering.

“Honestly, I think the same!” Death said, “I mean- what is UP with the whole ‘one of a kind, no category’ gimmick? How stupid! Last time I checked, being a victim of sexual abuse doesn’t make you ‘one of a kind.’ Why would you even think of it that way?“

Joan nodded slowly.

“I agree,” She said, “Um- here’s my next question: Is this question false?”

Death raised his eyebrows and cooed in obvious interest.

“True.” He said, smirking. “My turn. Do you resent the queens?”

Joan actually recoils. Death laughed.

“I-”

Did she? Did she resent the queens? Surely she didn’t... She couldn’t! The queens were perfect! How could anyone ever hate them?

“No.”

Death almost looks disappointed.

“What’s worse than death?”

“You’re living it.”

Cold sweat drips down Joan’s face. It stings her eyes and is salty on her tongue. She hears noises all around her, but doesn’t dare to look. She already knows “Terrance” is on his knees beside the salt circle and his leaning his face in right next to hers. She can smell the rot on him.

“Have you ever wanted to hurt the queens?”

Death’s questions are definitely ramping up in darkness. Was the time close to ending? Is that why he’s getting deeper?

Joan shut her eyes tightly for a moment, but opened them quickly when the fear of losing sight of Death nagged at the back of her mind. Before her, on the other side of the mirror, the being is waiting patiently, eagerly for her answer.

“Sometimes,” Joan breathed, “Yes.”

Death smiles a wicked smile.

“How interesting,” He purred, then gestured for Joan to ask her question.

“Does God exist?”

“Unfortunately.” Death groaned, then laughed. He inspected Joan again. “How would you hurt the queens?”

Joan felt her stomach ache. She didn’t like that question. She didn’t want to think about actually hurting the queens, even if she’s considered it one or two times before.

“I- I haven’t really given it any thought.” She answered, then quickly sputtered out her next question before Death could comment, “Does the Bible speak the truth?”

“Of course not.” Death said. “My next question is this: If I were to give you a task, would you do it?”

“Depends,” Joan said, “What would the task be?”

Death held up both arms in a shrugging motion. “I don’t know! Pick up my dry cleaning? It depends! Don’t put me on the spot like that!” He then laughed that horrible laugh again. Once he contains himself, he says, “Time is ticking. The game is almost over. I want to switch things up before we end. I have a dare for you.”

Joan nods.

“Stab yourself in the hand.”

That flush of icy cold dread floods through Joan’s system again. Every part of her being screamed at her to refuse, there will be other offers or questions she could make up for, but she knew that was just false hope. Like Death said: time was almost up. She couldn’t risk refusing and docking more points (if she isn’t in the negatives already, that is).

“Fine.” She forced out through her teeth.

She reached for the pen in her pocket, but Death held up a hand.

“Don’t use that inky thing,” He said. “It won’t get the job done. Please- allow me.”

He flicked his wrist and a large carving knife appears out of thin air and clatters to the floor in front of Joan. She stares at it for a moment, then picked it up, setting her left hand down in its place. She took a deep breath, screwed her eyes shut, and plunged the blade down.

Joan couldn’t choke back the scream that burst from her lips. She cried at the pain, sobbing in horror when she looked down to see the knife practically pinning her hand to the floor. Dark red blood pools around her fingers, gushing and spurting like spigot from the wound when she pulls the blade free. She cradled her wounded hand close to her chest, weeping weakly.

“Very good,” Death cooed, clapping.

Joan raised her eyes slowly and Death smirked at how lit up they were, almost like hot coals.

“I have a dare for you.” Joan growled, her voice low and dangerous.

“I accept.”

“Change your eye color to blue.”

For a moment, Joan swore she saw the slightly twitch on Death’s features. She watched him close his eyes, sit their silently for a moment, then open them again.

They were still yellow and slit.

“I cannot.” He said. However, he wasn’t angry or irritated at being stumped, rather amused. “Next...what is the flying speed of a swallow?”

Joan ripped off of a strip of her shirt and wrapped it around her bloody hand, hoping it would be a good enough substitute for real bandages for now.

“African or European?”

Death grinned. And that grin only grew wider as the candles around Joan went out until only the one behind her remained lit.

"̸̡̢̢̣͓͚͖̪̼̪͑͊̈́͋̀́̾͗͘ͅT̷̼̺͈̮̜͔̙͂̋̉͋͛̈̿̀̕͜͠͝i̸̢̹̙̼̠͓͚̖̗͔̮̔̌͂̓̐̊̈́̔̃̕m̸̡̓̅͌̉̀̈́̐̄͒̌̕͘͝��̤̱͙͎̦̱͙̪̻e̸̟̳͒'̸̗͎̞̙̋̎̓́́͑̉͐͑̈́s̷̰̬̙͖̲̩͚̥͈̝̩̻̻̮̭͂̀̐̓̑̓͌̓̀́̐̐ ̷̡̳͍̗͉̝͔̃̑͛̀͊͌͆̌̒̃̔͘̚͠ͅû̵̞̠̣͉̻̖̅̓̄̏͝p̷̛͖͎̮̖͇̬̮͉̥̲͈̟͊̃́̃̏̇̇͛͗̅̕͘,̷̢̧̧̹͈̗̝͙̪͉̖̆̈́ͅ ̸̲̩̥̇͂̓͌̀̋͗̀͛̚J̵̼̣̋ö̴̡͕̺̪̠͓̹͔̂͝ą̶̡̜̭̤͖̭̫̝̘̆̂̾̐͊̾̒̂̏n̶̛̛̬̦̥̠̮̐̓̃̋̍̒̂͐̂̽ͅ.̴̪̰̩̀͊̑̐́̂͗̍̐̈́̚"̴͍͆͛́̈́̈́̍͆̀͗͘͝͝

It was almost impossible to breathe. Joan can barely hold herself together- the tears are flowing freely and she can’t get them to stop. She would say a prayer for her damned soul if it weren’t for the whole atheist thing, and she worried that Death would get angry at her for it, even if it was said in her mind, which he couldn’t possible read (or, at least, she hoped he couldn’t).

Still, she bowed at the waist and thanked Death for the game.

“Let’s tally up the score, shall we?”

Joan first saw blood start to spread across Death’s midsection, then a sharp sting struck her in the stomach. She hissed in pain and lifted her shirt slightly, as did Death, and they both saw tally marks upon their flesh.

Death had twenty-three.

And Joan watched in shock as a twenty-fourth tally carved down through her skin right before her eyes.

“Congratulations, Joan Meutas,” Death says, “You’ve won. What is it that you wish for?”

#six the musical #six the musical tour #six uk tour #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six fanfiction #six fanfic #six fic #six ff #tour jane seymour #jane seymour #tour joan on the keys #joan on the keys #tw: religion

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bluejay-boy · 5 years ago

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lgbtqia+ representation: books + authors edition

books by lgbtqia+ authors with lgbtqia+ themes and/or characters

You Could Be Mine, Sara Farizan (she/her)

About a Girl, Sarah McCarry (she/her)

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Storied of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages, Saundra Mitchell (she/they)

Amateur, Thomas Page McBee (he/him)

Anger is a Gift, Mark Oshiro (they/them)

Annie on My Mind, Nancy Garden (she/her)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz (he/him)

Ash, Malinda Lo (she/her)

At Swim, Two Boys, Jamie O’Neill (he/him)

At the Edge of the Universe, Shaun David Hutchinson (he/him)

Blue is the Warmest Color, Julie Maroh (she/her)

The Brightsiders, Jen Wilde (she/her)

Caroline’s Heart, Austin Chant (he/him)

Changers, T Cooper (he/him) + Allison Glock-Cooper (she/her)

Chelsea Girls, Eileen Myles (they/them)

The Color Purple, Alice Walker (she/her)

Confessions of a Mask, Yukio Mishima (he/him)

Confessions of the Fox, Jordy Rosenberg (he/him)

The Danielle Cain Series, Margaret Killjoy (she/her)

Darius the Great Is Not Okay, Adib Khorram (he/him)

Dear Rachel Maddow, Adrienne Kisner (she/her)

The Difference Between You and Me, Madeleine George (she/her)

Drag Teen, Jeffery Self (he/him)

Eminent Outlaws, Christopher Bram (he/him)

Everything Leads to You, Nina LaCour (she/her)

Fat Angie, E.E. Charlton-Trujillo (she/her)

Fingersmith, Sarah Waters (she/her)

For Today I Am a Boy, Kim Fu (she/her)

Fun Home, Alison Bechdel (she/her)

Funeral Rites, Jean Genet (he/him)

Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit, Jaye Robin Brown (she/her)

Get it Together, Delilah, Erin Gough (she/her)

Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson (she/her)

Girl Made of Stars, Ashley Herring Blake (she/her)

Girl Mans Up, M.E. Girard (she/her)

Gracefully Grayson, Ami Polonsky (she/her)

The Gravity Between Us, Kristen Zimmer (she/her)

The Great American Whatever, Tim Federle (he/him)

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers (she/her)

Her Name in the Sky, Kelly Quindlen (she/her)

History is All You Left Me, Adam Silvera (he/him)

Hunter’s Way, Gerri Hill (she/her)

I Wish You All the Best, Mason Deaver (they/them)

If I Was Your Girl, Meredith Russo (she/her)

If You Could Be Mine, Sara Farizan (she/her)

Juliet Takes a Breath, Gabby Rivera (she/her)

Keeping You a Secret, Julie Anne Peters (she/her)

Leaving L.A., Kate Christie (she/her)

Let’s Talk About Love, Claire Kann (she/her)

Little Fish, Casey Plett (she/her)

Love Beyond Body, Space and Time (anthology)

Magic for Liars, Sarah Gailey (they/them)

Maiden, Mother, Crone: Fantastical Trans Femmes (anthology)

Me and You and Daisies, Lily R. Mason (she/her)

Meanwhile, Elsewhere: Science and Fiction from Transgender Writers (anthology)

The Mechanical Universe, E.E. Ottoman (they/he)

The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror, Daniel M. Lavery (he/him)

The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Emily M. Danforth (she/her)

Money Boy, Paul Yee (he/him)

Moon at Nine, Deborah Ellis (she/her)

Nameless Woman (anthology)

Nimona, Noelle Stevenson (she/her)

Not Otherwise Specified, Hannah Moskowitz (she/her)

Of Fire and Stars, Audrey Coulthurst (she/they)

Once and Future, Cory McCarthy (they/them)

One Man Guy, Michael Barakiva (he/him)

Openly Straight, Bill Konigsberg (he/him)

Patience and Sarah, Isabel Miller (she/her)

People in Trouble, Sarah Schulman (she/her)

Pet, Akwaeke Emezi (they/them)

Peter Darling, Austin Chant (he/him)

The Porcupine of Truth, Bill Konigsberg (he/him)

The Price of Salt, Patricia Highsmith (she/her)

Puddin’, Julie Murphy (she/they)

The Queen of Cups, Ren Basel (they/them)

Ramona Blue, Julie Murphy (she/they)

Resilience (anthology)

The Rest of Us Just Live Here, Patrick Ness (he/him)

Ruby-Fruit Jungle, Rita Mae Brown (she/her)

The Shape of My Name, Nino Cipri (they/them)

She’s My Ride Home, Jackie Bushore (she/her)

Small Beauty, Jia Qing Wilson-Yang (she/her)

So Many Ways To Sleep Badly, Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore (she/her)

The Summer of Jordi Perez, Amy Spalding (she/her)

The Summer Prince, Alaya Dawn Johnson (she/her)

The Swimming Pool Library, Alan Hollinghurst (he/him)

Taking the Long Way, Lily R. Mason (she/her)

Tash Hearts Tolstoy, K. E. Ormsbee (she/her)

Tell Me How a Crush Should Feel, Sara Farizan (she/her)

The Tensorate Series, JY Yang (they/them)

They Both Die at the End, Adam Silvera (he/him)

This Book is Gay, Juno Dawson (she/her)

Tipping the Velvet, Sarah Waters (she/her)

Trans Power, Juno Roche (she/they)

True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, Gerard Way (he/him)

Two Boys Kissing, David Levithan (he/him)

Two Serious Ladies, Jane Bowles (she/her)

Unburied Fables, several authors

An Unkindness of Ghosts, Rivers Solomon (they/them)

Valencia, Michelle Tea (she/her)

We the Animals, Justin Torres (he/him)

What If It’s Us, Becky Albertalli (she/her, cis straight) + Adam Silvera (he/him, gay)

Wildthorn, Jane Eagland (she/her)

Will Grayson Will Grayson, John Green (he/him, cis straight) + David Levithan (he/him, gay)

The World Unseen, Shamim Sarif (she/her)

The Year of Ice, Brian Malloy (he/him)

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mymarvelbunch · 5 years ago

Text

Be Your Own Hero - Steve Rogers x Reader (part 6)

Masterlist

Summary: You’ve lost all your family and most friends in The Decimation. Refusing to believe their deaths are permanent, you dedicate years to find a way to reverse it. Upon finding something that might help, you search for the Avengers’ help. It’s Steve Rogers x Reader, but in reality it’s mostly Badass!Reader. Also, Non-American!Reader.

Warnings: none!

Note: Y/Co = your country. Y/Ci = your city; Y/N/L = your native language.

Previously: “As I was saying... Tony and his new team managed to build that time machine.” You and Steve exchanged glances and smiled wide. From your side, you heard Danvers say, “Let’s get it started, then.”

Part Six

Two days later

Everything was surreal. You were surrounded by heroes: Iron Man, War Machine, the Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Captain America, Thor, Captain Marvel, Valkyrie, Nebula, Rocket, Ant-Man... And you were among them. Part of the team, with a Quantum Suit and everything. Almost an Avenger yourself.

You took a couple deep breaths and brought yourself back to reality. The team was discussing how they’d get the Stones.

“Okay”, Natasha began, paper and pencil in hand. “First Stone, Space. The Tesseract. Let’s list all occasions in which one of us came in contact with it.”

“1945″, Steve said. “It was in Red Skull’s possession. I don’t remember if it was in the plane when I crashed it, though.”

“1995″, Danvers added. “My... mentor had kind of stolen it, and a reactor with the Stone inside exploded. My powers come from the it actually. And then Goose - an alien cat, if anyone’s wondering - swallowed it.”

“Well, your cat must have puked the thing, because Loki was after it in 2012, and it was back in SHIELD’s possession″, Barton said, seemingly undisturbed by an alien cat eating an Infinity Stone. “Then Thor took it to Asgard.”

Thor nodded. He already looked a lot better than when they found him. “It remained in Odin’s vault until we fled Asgard. Loki took it for some reason and... died trying to protect it from Thanos.”

A couple ‘I’m sorry’s were heard. “I don’t know when or how dad found it in the ocean”, Stark said eventually, “but I’m 90% sure it was already in SHIELD’s hand in the 70s.”

Natasha nodded slowly. “So, 1945, the 70s, 1995, 2012 and any time period between 2013 and 2017. Anything else?” Silence. “Okay, next Stone, Time.”

“Easy”, Stark said. “Strange.”

“Not always”, you replied. “He only became its guardian in mid-2016. It belonged to a woman before then. She lived in the same New York Sanctum, though, I think.”

“So we have pre-2016 and post-2016, same place, different guardians”, Natasha said. “Reality Stone?”

Thor adjusted himself in his chair. “It possessed Jane Foster in 2013. We took her to Asgard, so if we pick a place it’s probably the safest. Lady Sif was the one responsible for getting the Stone away from Asgard after that, since the Tesseract was already in our hands. Sadly, she only told its location to Loki, and both are gone.” He glanced at Rocket.

“Thanos took from Knowhere, from the Collector, I think.”

“Asgard in 2013 and Knowhere after that, then”, Natasha said. “Next, Mind Stone.”

“Loki’s scepter from 2012 to 2015, when it was put in Vision’s head”, Stark summarized.

“That scepter was in HYDRA’s hands for quite some time, though”, Steve added. “It was how Wanda and Pietro got their powers.”

Natasha nodded. “Power Stone.”

“Morag, 2014″, Rocket said. “That’s when Quill stole it. Then we left it in Xandar for safety. Didn’t end up so well, but the Stone can be found there until... well, I wouldn’t risk 2018, so 2017.”

“Anything else? Nebula? Carol?” Both women shook their heads. “Okay. Soul Stone.”

“Vormir”, Nebula said. “It was supposedly a mystery, but Gamora somehow found out and told Thanos so he’d stop torturing me.” Her robotic face let her guilt clear.

“Thanos killed Gamora, though”, Stark added. “Didn’t he? Isn’t that why Quill punched him back in Titan?”

Nebula nodded. “Yes. Thanos took Gamora to Vormir. Came back with the Stone, without her. The Stone had been there until then.”

Natasha nodded. “Guys, I think we have a plan. There are three Stones in New York in 2012: Time, Space and Mind. Three Stones in other planets in 2014: Power in Morag, Reality in Knowhere, Soul in Vormir. Alternatively, we can travel to 2013 to get Reality instead. What do you think, guys?”

Everyone began to nod, much to your surprise. There was a fatal flaw in that plan. “Guys? Aren’t we forgetting something here? Thanos killed his daughter in Vormir and came back with the Soul Stone. Doesn’t that ring any bells?”

Rocket snorted. “Thanos didn’t care for any lives aside his own. He probably killed Gamora so she’d never tell anyone else about Vormir.”

Nebula shook her head. “Y/N has a point. Gamora was Thanos’ favorite. He never killed me, who he always despised and saw as inferior. He wouldn’t kill my sister if he didn’t deem it absolutely necessary.”

“He did say he was forced to kill her in Titan”, Stark added.

“See?”, you said. “Besides, the Stone’s named Soul. What if you need a soul to get it? That would explain all the secrecy behind its location.” You stood up. “No, there must be another way to get that one. A way that doesn’t risk lives. That’s what you said, right, Stark? We won’t risk lives.”

Stark nodded and stood up too. “Yes. I agree with Y/N. However, the only other times any of us has seen the Soul Stone are after Thanos gets it. Nebula and I saw it in Titan... that’s it!”

Everyone turned to Stark, who turned to Nebula. “Nebula, remember when we almost took the Gauntlet off Thanos’ arm?” She nodded. “If we manage to go to that specific point, we can at least get our hands on the Soul Stone, if not on the whole Gauntlet. And Strange was still in possession of the Time Stone, meaning we could just ask him. That way we don’t have to find out if getting the Soul Stone in Vormir requires sacrifice or not.”

Smiles could be seen all over the room. Banner was the first to speak after it: “Well, we shouldn’t send Stark and Nebula there, though. It might be confusing, and we can’t afford wasting time with that.”

“That’s an easy choice, honestly’, you said. “Send Danvers, Thor, Valkyrie and you there. You four have more than enough power to help the guys.”

“Lady Y/N is right”, Thor said, standing up. “I may not be in my best condition, but with Stormbreaker I can help stopping Thanos. I know exactly what to do this time.”

Valkyrie and Danvers agreed. Banner asked to stay away from the fight, and everyone conceded. The trio suited up. Stark and Nebula set the timer and described the scene they’d find. “Remember”, Stark said, “you have to get at least the Soul Stone. All the others can be safely found in other timelines, though it would save us a lot of work if you managed to get more. If possible, try to ask Strange for the Time Stone. He surely knows what we want to do with it.”

“Be safe”, you added.

“Look out for one another”, Steve added as well. You two exchanged glances.

They nodded, and Banner activated the time machine. “3... 2... 1...”, and they disappeared. After a minute, they came back, puffing. It was Danvers who spoke up first, excitedly. “We got two of them! Soul and and Reality!”

Valkyrie spoke second, huffing. “There was no way to ask the wizard for the Time Stone. Everything was a mess.”

Along with Thor, they told how they didn’t reach Quill in time to stop him punching Thanos, so it was a tough fight to get close to him. It was Danvers who got hold of the Soul Stone, while Thor grabbed the Reality Stone. Valkyrie managed to knock Thanos unconscious, allowing them to adjust their timers to get back. Strange was busy using the Time Stone to fight, so they weren’t able to get it from him.

“Well, we avoided the most complicated ones”, Natasha said. “No potential sacrifice to get the Soul Stone and no attacking Jane Foster to get the Reality Stone.”

“Damn, that one would have been awkward”, Rhodes commented. “Okay, now we need to get Space, Mind, Time and Power Stones. Do we stick to the original plan?”, he asked, looking at you.

“I don’t see why not”, you replied. “Like Natasha said, the worst part is over. By the way, Thor, Valkyrie, Danvers, you can rest. It should be easy from now on.”

Oh, how naïve you were.

Since they planned on getting the Space and Mind Stones mid-Battle of New York, it would be best to send the original Avengers, who knew where and when to be. Banner was voted out, thanks to his new looks, and Thor was left to rest. Natasha, Steve and Clint would go, along with Scott, whose powers could be useful. Stark and Rhodes would head to 2017 to negotiate the Time Stone with Strange, since no one knew how the previous guardian would react to them. You and Nebula would head to 2014 Morag to retrieve the Power Stone.

“I mean, when else will you be able to go to space?”, Steve said, making you smile wide. You were so excited Nebula asked for a delay for you to calm down.

Banner and Rocket would stay behind to coordinate everything. Rocket didn’t want to travel in time again, after being the one to test the machine. After a minute, you managed to get yourself back together. The eight of you gathered around the platform. Steve was responsible for the pep talk:

“Three years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends. We lost family. We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn't mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we're going to win. Whatever it takes. Good luck.”

You and Natasha smiled at him. Scott praised him, and Barton laughed for the first time since you’ve met him. “See you all in a minute”, Natasha said, excitement clear in her voice and body language.

You felt dizzy as you spiraled inside the Quantum Realm, but, before you could blink, you were already out. You found yourself in a purple desert planet, with no sign of life except for a temple-like building. It was a disappointing sight, so you simply turned to Nebula and asked, “Is the Power Stone inside that place?”

She nodded and you followed her. She pulled you to hide behind some sort of ruin. Confused, you followed her gaze to find a masked human-like being singing and dancing around with a gun.

“Do you know who he is?”, you asked. The song sounded familiar.

“Peter Quill”, she answered in a whisper. “Half-human, half-something I can’t remember. He’s the one Tony said to have punched Thanos when we heard he killed Gamora.”

“Oh”, you said. “Okay.” You kept watching. “He needs to take some dancing classes.”

“He’s an idiot”, she deadpanned.

“Oh c’mon, he’s not that bad. And his taste in music is good.”

Nebula rolled her eyes at you and stood up. “We can’t wait on him forever.” That said, she shot him in the head. “He’s going to be unconscious for an hour. Let’s go.”

Relieved that the poor guy wasn’t dead, you followed her inside the building. The Power Stone was in the center, covered by an orb-thing, on some sort of alter, with no protection whatsoever. “Are you sure we’re not walking into a trap?”

“Quill took the Stone effortlessly. All he had to face was some Krees.” As she said that, Nebula walked straight to the altar and extended her hand to grab the orb. Her cibenetic arm burned, but she managed to grab the orb before it fell apart. You two looked at each other in the eye. “I wasn’t always like this”, she offered, as if the sight of her arm was something to fear.

“We live with what we’ve got, I guess”, you replied, smiling. “I hope you didn’t feel pain, at least.”

“Pain distracts you from battle”, she said. “Thanos only allowed me to feel pain if he was the one inflicting it, so... no, I didn’t feel pain.”

“Sounds like a comfort to me.”

She didn’t answer, but you could see a ghost of a smile in her lips. She placed the orb in her pocket and you two suited up again. “Okay”, you said, “3... 2-”

You interrupted yourself as Nebula fell on ground, looking like she was convulsing. You heard the Pym Particle bottle from her suit break. “Nebula!”, you shouted as you reached her, kneeling before your teammate. “Are you okay?”

As if answering your question, her cibernetic eye projected something. It was Nebula herself, standing by Thanos’ side, with another female-like alien. “Gamora”, you heard your Nebula say.

The conversation between the three was clear: they knew Future Nebula was there and had time traveled. Also that she wasn’t on Thanos side anymore. They wanted to get her.

“This is not a live projection”, Nebula said, standing up. You stood up as well. “They must be already on their way here.”

“Then switch your timer with mine”, you replied. Nebula turned to you with wide eyes. “You can’t be taken, Nebula. What if they send past you to fool our friends? If anyone is kidnapped, it’s got to be me.”

“I can’t let you fall into his hands. You will die.”

“So will you!”, you shouted. “My mission is done, Nebula. I did everything I could to bring my family back. But yours isn’t. Go back with the Stone and make our wish.” A huge noise was heard. “They’re here, aren’t they?” Nebula nodded. You took your timer off and gave it to her. “Go!”

Reluctantly, she took it and gave her broken timer to you. “I’ll come back for you, Y/N. We don’t risk lives.”

“Bring everyone back first”, you screamed, trying to be heard in the midst of the noise. Someone was entering the temple. “Only then you come back for me. Now go!”

With no hesitation this time, Nebula left. Still suited up, you grabbed a knife Natasha gave you and stabbed your new timer. It was the last thing you did before everything went black.

----------------------------------------------

Cliffhanger! You thought everything would be easy? hahahahahaha

I had thought of this part long before I started writing this imagine, and it was the one I was looking forward too the most, due to the major changes made.

Part 7 won’t be told from the reader’s POV, but from Steve’s (and probably Nebula’s). We go back to reader’s POV on part 8!

Edit: I fixed a small detail on parts 6 and 7. Originally I had the Mind Stone being collected in Titan, but it was the last Stone Thanos got, on Earth. I made minor corrections so it would fit movie canon in this aspect.

Taglist (open!): @autobotgirl15-blog @starstrucknature @cheeseburgersstuff @aamzter2013

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #captain america x reader #captain america #captain america x you #captain america x y/n #marvel imagine #marvel #natasha romanoff #nebula #avengers: endgame

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illlogicals · 5 years ago

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☆ﾟ*・ﾟWOAH is that DENINA SLOAN ? i’ve heard they’re a CAMBION working here as a COMBAT 101 PROFESSOR. they came here because THEY HEARD A POSITION OPENED UP and they’ve been working here for 0 years. as a 265 / 34 year-old, i’m sure they’re skilled. someone told me they’re FICKLE & STOIC but i think they’re PRAGMATIC & CLEVER. i can’t help but think of AGED WINE, KNIVES IN A SATIN GARTER-BAND, A CRACK IN THE MARBLE when i look at them. ( olivia munn, cis-female, she/her )

alert the media. I have another trash intro posted. / PINTEREST

+; there’s a small TLDR at the bottom bc I’m really just pulling this shit together out of thin air as we go. we love improvisation. and I know the intro isn’t too long I’m just lazy so I know ppl are too.

- also a general tw for death mentions -

*throw confetti* ok u may proceed.

MEET DENINA

denina ( or dina, if you prefer ) is your sweet kiddo’s newest n’ nicest combat 101 professor. she snagged the job shortly after alexis left the game and she’s very impressed with herself about it since this is pretty much her retirement plan from her real job.

you see, denina worked as something similar to a cross-roads demon cambion for yearssss for a very, very old vampire who notoriously went around naming himself as The Butcher. he was her boss and the way his business worked was that people, desperate ones both supernatural and mortal alike, would seek out deals to better their lives. to give them their desires whatever they may be. he’d review the offer and send one of his little henchmen out to go work the details with a contract of sorts. something to show that this was their deal and to seal with a debt that could be owed at any moment. and while denina is obviously in no real position to send anyone to dark fiery places or collect their souls or whatever the hell it is they do in show supernatural bc this isn’t the lore we’re doing, there’s other ways her little work team handles these business transitions. denina made the deals her boss approved, denina went to go collect. and if they didn’t comply ... then let’s just say denina didn’t get the position of combat 101 just because she’s pretty and can wield a weapon better than G.I. Jane.

so she’s a murderer. a contract killer. big deal. you try coming into the paths of a psychotic vampire who’s very adamant in his business of considering him a king among humans and you try telling him you’d rather light yourself with hot ass hell-fire than work for him. see how far that gets ya.

okay so yeah, denina worked for The Butcher for years. years !! she’s very used to the business and while she’s not happy about it, the job did give her a lot of ... hands on experience. it also showed her that people were stupid no what generation shes in and they’d always do anything to gain wealth or find romance or be famous ( the 1940s/50s was a mess.. everyone wanted to make it to hollywood and no one ever wanted to pay up in the end. tragic how quickly budding celebrities just drop dead right before their big break ). she once had to, you know, kill a guy because he wanted to own more land to impress a wealthier woman in his town and then when denina came to collect ( it was a simple request of someone else in the neighboring town who wanted to make a deal. they wanted to become mayor and there’s was voting. all denina needed was for the guy she was collecting a debt from now to go there and rig the whole thing so they could win. simple. ) the man refused !! rude !! told her that he had already got what he wanted and that if she wanted to fulfill the other’s deal that she should just do it herself. suddenly those became his famous last words. *finger guns* pow pow. did I mention she has very little patience for people ? they’re like so stupid.

ANYWAYS. she was doing this for a couple of years ( roughly over two-hundred. she’s v seasoned ). but now she’s here teaching combat to students who, from what she can tell, aren’t prepared for anything. “ no wonder so many people die here. ” - denina sloan

TLDR ; denina used to work for a vampire who would give out promises of fulfilling desires to humans / other supernatural people in exchange for them owing him a debt somewhere down the line of their ( potentially short ) life. a very lucrative business. her boss would send her and other people who worked for him out to help finalize / fulfill these desires and then have collect when needed. if the person who signed the contact didn’t do what was being asked of them in the end then denina would kill them or bring them back to the base of whatever city they were in depending on how large of a debt the person owed ( the bigger the deal the tighter the contract ). but she’s fresh out the game to come and teach here. and by fresh out the game, I mean she dipped through the night once she found out that her boss and his band of burly bodyguards were brutally murdered. lit on fire and found with their body dismembered across the flat of a presidential suite in las vegas during this years mardi gras. she didn’t know what the hell was happening and she wasn’t complaining. she grabbed money that was in the safe her boss had hidden in the room, the keys to his bmw, and the gold pinky ring he wore ( along with several things off his guards ) and just left. now she’s in new york with the intentions of living the rest of days out as a normal cambion who got so fed up with her regular life she decided to become a teacher.

PLOTS ( uh sort of )

so since denina’s old boss was in the business of giving out favors, I would love for denina to run into someone she used to have to come around like an annoying little fly so she could collect a debt from them. I’m just spit-balling ideas but I’m gunna say that her boss before he kicked the bucket used make deals with supernaturals to further his business. he probably used witches to cast spells for him, shifters to get information from faes, and vampires to get into his other dirty work business of processing his own brand of blood-bags. sooo if you’re interested in your character possible have been cornered by denina at some point in their life, hit me up on discord. I’ve got tons of ideas ranging from minor if you want things to taste vanilla to extreme if you want that real seasoned kick of adobo spice.

she’ll need co-worker connections obvi. and while I’m down for platonic friendship plots, I’m also really interested in someone kind of giving her shit for being here? maybe someone who knows her and doesn’t really want her here. basically an enemies plot. give vic what she wants 2020

ok yeah that’s all I have for the moment bye

#elysium:intro #‘ 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐍 ∕ 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 #/ more work from your local trash panda

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zapgraptrash · 5 years ago

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Yeehawgust Day 20 - Wild Night On The Town

god i finally finished this one

BONUS PANEL (NOT SAFE 4 WORK!!!)

Are you ready to fuckin' tear this place up?

>WITHIN REASON. WE DON’T WANT TO GET KICKED OUT OF ANOTHER CASINO. Grappler: We won't get kicked out of this one. Zapper: WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE? WE ALREADY GOT BOOTED FROM TWO. Grappler: Yeah well Ultra Luxe is for fancy assholes, and The Tops just sucks. This is where the REAL party's at. Trust me. Zapper: OK FINE WHATEVER YOU SAY.

>[Confirmed Bachelor] IS IT ME, OR DOES THIS PLACE LOOK A LITTLE... STRAIGHT? Grappler: Nah dude there's tonnes of gay guys here. We gotta go down to the lower level to find em all. Zapper: IF THIS PLACE CATERS TO US THEN WHY DO THEY GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO APPEAR HETEROSEXUAL? I GOT ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT IN THE NCR. Grappler: Eh I dunno. I met some lady out here who's trying to buy this place though, she'll definitely make it more obviosuly gay friendly. Hell she'll probably ban the cishets from even coming anymore. That'd be cool. Zapper: SIS-WHAT? Grappler: I told you before, cis means not trans, keep up, geez.

>FUCK YEAH!!! Grappler: Fuck yeah!!!

** <Hooting and Hollering> **

>[Perception 6] Dude, is that weed? (Success) Zapper: NO, THIS IS POT. Grappler: That's the same thing. Zapper: IT ISN'T! Grappler: It fuckin' is, it has tons of names. Weed, pot, cannabis, marajuana, mary-jane, dope- Zapper: YOU ARE SO MAKING THAT UP. Grappler: I am not!!

>[Medicine 60] You won’t drink but you’ll do chems... you know they’re just as addictive, right? (Success) Zapper: WELL NO SHIT DOCTOR, WHAT OTHER PEARLS OF WISDOM DO YOU WANT TO BESTOW ON ME? DON'T GET EXPLOSIONS IN THE FACE? DON'T EAT GECKO SHIT? Grappler: I'm just saying, kinda odd that you'll do one but not the other. Zapper: I QUIT DRINKING YEARS AGO, AND IT WAS REALLY GODDAMN DIFFICULT, AND I VERY RARELY EVEN GET HIGH. I KNOW WHEN THERE'S A PROBLEM. Grappler: Ok it's cool, I don't want to ruin the mood. Oh man, usually people get wasted on the same type of stuff, this is gonna be fun if we're wacked out on two totally different types of shit. Zapper: IF YOU FALL INTO A SEWER I'M NOT HELPING YOU.

>You gotta share some of that shit. Zapper: THIS WAS PRETTY PRICEY Y'KNOW. Grappler: You're really gonna make me pay for it? Zapper: NAH I'M JUST PULLING YOUR LEG, HERE. Grappler: Makes you wonder how people get past the godawful smell. Zapper: I BARELY SMELL IT. Grappler: How many of your senses actually work fully? Zapper: GIVE IT TWENTY YEARS AND YOU'LL BE THE SAME. Grappler: Oh fuck no.

>Put more caps in! Zapper: <Frustrated grumbling>

>Damn you suck ASS at this! Zapper: <Even more frustrated grumbling>

>Hold up, I got an idea that's GUARANTEED good payout. >` >player.modav Luck 10 >player.additem 000000f 9999 >[Luck changed to 10/10] [9999 Bottle caps added]

><Throw NCR $5 bills> <Crowd follows suit, Grappler keeps doing his thing, stumbling a bit.>

><Throw NCR $100 bills> <Crow follows suit, Grappler amps it up to 11. The crowd goes wild. He falls off the stage.>

><Throw bottle caps> Grappler: HEY!!!!!!! Those hurt!

#yeehawgust tag #zapper tag #grappler tag

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heroesmusings · 5 years ago

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FULL NAME: Thor Odinson

MEANING: Thunder

NICKNAME: Pointbreak

MEANING: It’s what Tony calls him

AGE APPEARANCE: Appears 36, actually over 1000

BIRTHDAY: Unknown

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Unknown

SPECIES: Asgardian God

GENDER: Cis male

ALLERGIES: None

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Pansexual

THEME SONG(S): Thunder by Imagine Dragons, Sunlight by Hozier, Lover of the Light by Mumford and Sons, Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR: Dark Blonde

HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: At times it can be long to shoulder length but also can be buzzed on the side with a little more on top

EYES COLOR: Blue

EYESIGHT: 20/20 he’s a gOD

HEIGHT: 6″6′

WEIGHT: 235 lbs

OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Usually he wears his Asgardian get up but when he dresses down he wears jeans and a hoodie

ABNORMALITIES: Missing an eye

DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Many battle scars cover his body

SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Sometimes sports a beard

FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: He looks big and intimidating but he’s actually super friendly once spoken to

SKIN COLOR: White to tan

BODY TYPE/BUILD: He’s built like a goddamn GOD, there is no way to explain it.. He’s big and made of pure muscle

DEFAULT EXPRESSION: He tends to look serious just because he was raised a prince

POSTURE: Thor has perfect posture he was PRINCE OKAY

PIERCINGS: None

DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Thor’s voice is deep, with a bit of a forgien accent and when angry his voice carries like thunder

RELATIONS:

MOM: Frigga

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor was so close to his mother, he adored her with all his heart and misses her every day

DAD: Odin

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor has mixed feelings when it comes to his father. He used to think of him as a good man but as things came to light and realized some things Thor has slowly come to realize that Odin was never a good father

SIBLINGS: Hela, Loki

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor loves his brother, sees the good in him but Loki doesn’t like him and neither did Hela…. So not well.

CHILDREN: N/A

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A

OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: N/A

PAST LOVER(S): Many one night stands, Jane Foster (ex-girlfriend)

CURRENT LOVER: Bruce Banner

REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: He likes making friends he’s really a sweet guy

ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: Thor is very easy to work with and loves to work with people

HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Thor is vERY sociable he loves going out and being around people

FRIENDS: Hemidall, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Carol Danvers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton and literally anyone else

PETS: None

LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Anyone who thinks they can take advantage of meeker people

PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Playful and Protective

FAVORITE PEOPLE: Bruce, Steve, Bucky and Hemidall

LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: The Dark Elves, Thaons,

PERSONALITY:

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: He looks regal from a distance but he’s very warm and friendly

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Teasing, Excitable, Gentle

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Gruff, Cold, Confrontational

FAVORITE COLOR: Silver

FAVORITE FOOD: a stew his mother would make

FAVORITE ANIMAL: ALL ANIMALS, but he’s partial to snakes

FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: ALL OF THEM?

FAVORITE ELEMENT: Fire

LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: White

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Weird midgard foods

LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: NONE HE LOVES THEM ALL

LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: None?

LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Water

HOBBIES: training, video games, learning anything he can about earth

USUAL MOOD: Usually in a good mood

DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Drinks socially

DARK VERSION OF SELF: Thor would be the perfect weapon, powerful and unforgiving, the realms would tremble at his feet

LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: close to what he is now, happy and unworried

HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: IF the situation is a tense one he’s very serious but other than that he’s rather joyful

BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Yes and no?? He can connect to the allfather but that’s it

(IN)DEPENDANT: Thor thinks himself rather independent but he’s not. He’s very connected to everyone he loves

SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: Talking about any of his family, when people try to threaten the avengers, people hating Hulk

OPINION ON SWEARING: He’s rather clean spoken just because he's a prince

DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: oooh daredevil

MUSIC TYPE: he leans towards what Steve tends to play, he also loves classical music and typical asgardian music

MOVIE TYPE: Anything ANYTHING

BOOK TYPE: Again Thor loves to learn so anything

GAME TYPE: If it’s Asgardian games, it’s anything that has to do with brute strength or drinking -- human ones he doesn’t really care about

COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Thor likes it a little on the cooler side

SLEEPING PATTERN: When Thor is out HE’S FUCKING OUT, he’s a rock its impossible to move him.

CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Thor is used to being cleaned up after but he is polite so he keeps it as clean as he can

DESIRED PET: ALL PETS EVER

HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Helping rebuild Asgard

BIGGEST SECRET: I don’t know if Thor really has any secrets? He’s an open book anyone can ask him anything

HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: His mother, Frigga

WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: the biggest puppy dog on eaRTH

FEARS: Bruce getting hurt, anything happening to the avengers, and losing Asgard again

COMFORTS: Being around the avengers, spending alone time with Bruce and training

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE:

SAD: Thor is a prince, he has always been told to hide negative emotions, so Thor bottles it up, he puts on a brave face because he is a warrior and royal. So for a long time no one knows he’s sad until he starts pulling away and secluding himself

HAPPY: Thor is like a ray of sunshine, he talks fast, and tends to just want to touch and laugh

ANGRY: ……………………...AN ANGRY GOD IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT. It’s pure rage, the sky turns black -- a storm swirls above him and he’s lit up with lightning. He’s brutal and will not show mercy

AFRAID: Thor doesn’t really fear? He’s never been allowed to fear. He’s a god and he knows his powers but when he is he tries to face it head on, take it by the horns and conquer it.

LOVE SOMEONE: Gentle, and understanding -- he cares deeply about them and checks up on them often. He’s always around and is expressing his admiration for them

HATE SOMEONE: He’s cold, which is a VERY rare thing for thor. He doesn’t hate many but its an angry hate, so if he hates you, then you’ve done something so wrong

WANT SOMETHING: He asks permission.. That is what he was taught to do, so he’s polite as he requests whatever it is.

CONFUSED: He wants it explained to him he loves learning okay

HOW DO THEY REACT TO:

DANGER: THOR LOVES DANGER, but he’s protective if it involves people he loves

SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: I’m sorry if but Thor hate you you are dead no way around it so YOU CANT HAVE A CRUSH

PROPOSAL TO MARRY: Thor would be ????? so confused. He would have not expected such a thing but he’d of course say yes and would want a human and an asgardian wedding

DEATH OF LOVED ONE: He interlizes it, he hasn’t ever had a proper way to express his mourning.. He’s still recovering from the death of his family.

DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: He’d try the best he can, and usually he figures it out

INJURY: ...he’s a god so he’d just take it as a badge of honor

SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: He would want to squish thank you

LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: Thor doesn’t LOSE hours of work okay he’s always wanted on missions

KNOWLEDGE:

LANGUAGES: Thor has allspeak so literally everything

SCHOOLING LEVEL: Graduated from formal Asgardian education and warrior school

FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Ya know… fighting

INTERESTED CAREERS: Valkyrie until he realized it was for women only

EXPERTISE: asgardian physiology, weather manipulation, flight, electric manipulation, combat

PUZZLES: Thor would rather hand them off to someone else so he can do other things

CHEMISTRY: for human, not so great at that because he’s not from earth but asgardian chemistry he excelled in it

MATH: Again, human math? Not so great but Asgard? Expert

ENGLISH: HE didn’t HAVE ENGLISH

GEOGRAPHY: he knows how to get to realm to realm

POLITICS/LAW: Given he’s a prince he had to be very involved in all of it

ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: Again a prince so its his job

COOKING: Nope not at all, he’s always had things cooked for him

SEWING: Medical sewing he’s okay at

MECHANICS: This is just way over Thor’s head all of it

BOTANY (FLOWERS): Not really interested in all of that

MYTHOLOGY: HE IS THE MYTH

DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): Not for him, for Loki maybe

READING LEVEL: Proficient in all languages

HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: somewhat? He did have to do battle strategies

ROMANCE:

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Yes ALL THE TIME, he’s so touch

HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): He’s fairly forward honestly

GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: A GENTLEMAN HE’S PRINCE

GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: With people before Bruce? He usually just jumped right in but he likes taking it slow with Bruce

PROTECTIVE: uh hell yeah

ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Both

WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Thor likes bringing Bruce all sorts of things from Asgard honestly, anything that he thinks Bruce will like he brings

TYPE OF KISSER: Surprisingly, Thor is a very soft and gentle lover. So his kisses are the same, gentle but VERY through

DO THEY WANT KIDS: i don’t…. Know. i actually don’t think it’s crossed his mind?

DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: YES YES

MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Uh both, but he likes to think he’s got good intentions

ARE THEY ROMANTIC: yes OF COURSE

HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Thor’s a god.. And he’s very well versed so sleeping with Thor is truly otherworldly

GET JEALOUS EASY: Actually no, not really

WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: NEVER

MARRY FOR MONEY: LMAO NO NOT AT ALL

FAVORITE POSITION: oh my god.. he for sure likes to top.. Really any position he just likes intimacy

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: DATE ON ASGARD, he wants to treat Bruce to a perfect evening on asgard filled with food and magic and science and watch the sunset over the water

OPINION ON SEX: Sex is almost a ritual to him? It’s a very important and meaningful thing.. He never takes having sex lightly. Its meant to be a celebration of intimacy.

#thor ;; bio

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chvrrybaby · 6 years ago

Text

*itzy vc* hey hey hey ! ( i see that i’m icy ) what’s up, i’m diana, i’m nineteen, and i’m ur resident girl group stan. i reside in the est timezone & go by the pronouns she/her. now, finally introducing ... loona !! jk, her name is blair & u can learn abt her under the cut ! my discord is lana del rey is coming <3#5522 ( stream her new album august 30th ), so feel free to message me there or through tumblr im’s if u prefer that ! otherwise, i’ll come to u <3

— kim doyeon. she/her. cis female. | was that blair ryu i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the nineteen year old spends most of their time working as a sugar baby/studying classic literature and women’s studies, but i’ve always just seen them writing in her dream journal. they live in 5A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of loosely curled hair, cherry lip gloss, the lingering scent of vanilla in the air.

( 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫. )

born on october 5th, 1999 ( this is literally a day before my bday ooc but anyway ajkdhsjdh ) in rochester, new york, blair’s first impression of the world was a crisp autumn day

she was her parents first and only child. her mother was an elementary school teacher, while her father worked at a nearby power plant in ontario

the family never made too much money, but they were able to get by, at least at first

she had a fairly happy childhood, though it was a lonely one. her father was always working odd hours, and with her mother gone during the day, she spent most of her time with a babysitter and the family golden retriever

eventually, she herself started going to school. she immediately excelled in the english department and fell in love with reading. blair realized early on how much she enjoyed escaping reality with a novel, immersing herself in a story so exciting compared to her dull life

almost everything was fine until her high school years. aside from the fact that she never had a present father figure, she was closer to her mom and still loved by both of her parents. however, when her high school years came around, her father lost his job

her father was the families main provider, and her mothers salary alone would not be enough to take care of the entire family. while he searched for another job, they had to give away the family golden retriever to one of blair’s aunts because they couldn’t afford the extra cost :(

on top of losing her beloved pet, the loss of her father’s job prompting the family to pick up and move their entire life

already in the midst of high school, blair had to leave her life as she knew it behind. the family moved to statesboro, georgia, and her father found a job at the nearby power plant

the transition to life in georgia was not easy for blair. though she didn’t exactly have trouble making friends, she didn’t feel like she could truly connect with anyone

once again, blair turned to losing herself in a book to pass the time

shortly after the move to georgia, her parents experienced some difficulties within their marriage. they ended up separating, and blair spent the remainder of her high school years living with each of them for half of the time

she did not mind her parents separating, as she knew it was for the best. however, her father found a girlfriend fairly quickly, and blair would eventually find out her father had been having an affair

her father spent most of his free time with his new girlfriend and her family. blair was upset at how he prioritized his the new people in his life over her when he was barely ever around for her growing up

meanwhile, her mother was having trouble adjusting to being alone, so she moved back to new york to live with her sister

blair stayed behind in georgia to finish high school, but knew she wanted to go elsewhere for college. she wanted to get as far away from her father and his new life as possible

once blair turned eighteen, she began to sell pictures for money. she wanted to earn as much as possible so she could afford to go away for university. she created an alias and began to sell pictures and videos of her feet. eventually, she expanded her horizons once she realized how much money she could earn

she never went as far as sleeping with her clients, but she would go on dates with them and spend the days with them to earn more money ( kind of like ludovica/chiara in the italian show baby on netflix minus sleeping w them )

she dated a few people throughout her high school years, and began to more “seriously” date a guy during her senior year in high school, though she knew the relationship wouldn’t last. despite appearing as a more serious relationship, to her, it wasn’t really anything of the sort, and she mostly wanted a relationship for senior prom and other trivialities

after senior year ended and she had accepted admission into uni in seattle, she basically cut ties with everyone in georgia aksdjskdjh she said good bye forever ! rip poor unnamed boyfriend he didn’t see it coming ...

her father also did not see it coming because she didn’t even tell him where she applied. but at the same time, did he ask ? no :/

once she left for uni, her relationship with her father became very very estranged. she still speaks to her mom on a pretty regular basis, but even then, she has a whole secret life and doesn’t feel particular close to either of them sjkdfhskdjh

and that’s that for background !

( 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀. )

blair is a libra sun leo moon ( rising sign & other placements tbd )

she is definitely a friendly/sociable person. she can be pretty outgoing and loves to be around people. idk her mbti yet but she is def an extrovert ! ( she does tend to keep her feelings to herself tho )

despite her friendly demeanor, she does have a fiery spirit. if u wrong her she will hold a grudge against u until it gets settled/sorted. she can be more on the mean side when she’s upset, but even then she does not have a bad heart at all

when it comes to relationships, blair is all over the place. she can be very flirty/charismatic and is constantly hopping from one relationship to the next. she hasn’t quite been able to settle down, but it is possible. she kind of thinks being in a real relationship means losing her freedom, because that’s kind of what she saw happen with her parents, so she doesn’t really want to be tied down to someone in fear of losing herself in a way. does this make sense ? maybe ? ok !

blair has a fairly strong sense of self, but she’s still very young so she’s still growing and changing. she is the type of person to know what she wants and go after it ( yes, even with ppl ! ). she will stop at nothinggg to get what she wants ( oop ). u could say she loves the chase, but kind of gets bored afterwards unless u have more to offer !

omg she literally loves 2 be the center of attention. i mean, who doesn’t love attention ? but blair takes it 2 another level. she gets all :( if she’s being ignored or isn’t receiving enough attention

kind of bouncing off the whole attention thing, blair loves a good party ! she’s young and here for a good time. she def loves to drink at parties and stuff even tho she isn’t legal here in the us, why should that stop her am i right ? when it comes to drugs, she’s a veryyy casual user and doesn’t do anything crazy. a social weed smoker n will do pills here and there

being a libra sun with a leo moon, i think it’s safe to say she can be a bit dramatic at times ( i mean, as a libra sun with a leo venus i am not one 2 judge xx ). she reads 2 much and watches 2 many movies like ajkdhsjkhd life rly isn’t that serious but she can b a lil overdramatic sometimes whew ! we told u this was melodrama ... lorde stans make some noise !

blair’s fav books are anything by jane austen and les liaisons dangereuses by pierre choderlos de laclos, aka the book cruel intentions was based on ( which happens 2 be one of her fav movies )

shows she loves: gossip girl ( she shares a name w blair so she probably used 2 call herself queen b in high school or something ), desperate housewives ( no wonder this binch is so dramatic ), big little lies, pretty little liars ( the early seasons only ), the netflix show baby, and buffy the vampire slayer

movies she loves: clueless, almost famous, thoroughbreds, moulin rouge, palo alto, marie antoinette, coyote ugly, american beauty, cruel intentions, and valley of the dolls ( to name a few )

her fav colors are pink, red, and white !

u can find her pinterest board here.

she is bisexual babey !!

( 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺. )

party buddies - this is pretty basic and self explanatory, but someone blair can go out and have fun with. their friendship might be more surface level, or started that way at least, but it’s possible they’re closer friends ( maybe she opened up under the influence and it brought them closer aksdhsdjh drunk blair def would )

ex-fling/gf/bf - blair relationship hops, so she could have quite a few of these. we can plot it however, there can b feelings there, they can hate each other, of they can be just friends now, u name it !

unrequited crush - ur character could have feelings for blair, but maybe she doesn’t feel them back or is unaware that they like her. this could develop into her eventually having feelings for ur muse or not, whatever we want ! OR blair could def have a crush on someone who does not like her back. maybe that person is super non-committal, or they simply do not like her back. we could plot this out however <3

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension!!! they started out hating each other, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways !

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs. being an only child and not really close to her parents, blair would love a friend that she could basically call family !

dynamic duo - basically like her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other

take care - someone who kind of looks after her ?? maybe when she parties a lil too hard and drinks a lil too much, someone who kind of takes care of her n makes sure shes ok ! they would be someone she trusts a lottttt

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they hate each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. i love a good enemies plot. they can just b nasty to each other !!! maybe they bring out a really bad side to blair that most ppl dont see. someone who makes her act like blair waldorf ( i’m def kidding abt the blair waldorf part )

bad influence - blair isn’t a goody-two-shoes by any means, but doesn’t really do anything crazy, so i’d luvv for someone to kind of influence her to do shit she normally wouldn’t on her own

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll prob make a plots page later on and add more stuff !

so this is everything !! this has taken me longer than it should have but i’m finally done whew,,, cheers 2 me <3 anyway i would absolutely luv to plot, so feel free to hit me up on discord or tumblr im’s, or i can also come to u ! i’m so excited to get started <333 i’m gonna b logging off now most likely, since it’s 3 am my time, but i’ll be back in the morning

#hide.intro #✧.° ░ 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒂 ╱ ooc.#i finally did it !!!!#pls someone tell me ur proud of me... <3

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lex1nat0r · 6 years ago

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Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka

Hi, I’m Lex and I love to pour boiling garbage into my gaping maw.

First off, here’s my friend Jane writing about this show. I’m sure she can write about it a lot better than I’m about to.

Two words of the title of Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka are a lie and you already know which two. This is not a show about magical girls. It is not about girls overcoming their problems and exploring their friendships. This is a show about trauma and how much it can gleefully show you, the viewer. It’s a lot more interested in telling a lukewarm political thriller featuring high school girls with PTSD using magical girl elements as window dressing. Did I enjoy it? Maybe, but probably not in the way it was intended. I found myself watching in a removed state, less engrossed in the story and more interested in how deep a hole it was intent on digging for itself.

Spoilers and discussion of some uncomfortable content below the thing.

I think the most illustrative example of what kind of nonsense Asuka (the show) gets up to is that over its twelve episodes three different named characters each have an arm severed. That’s probably the highest limb-removal-to-episodes ratio I’ve seen. I’m pretty sure that for all three it’s the left arm. What’s more, the arm always ends up reattached and fully functional so the injury itself isn’t actually used as character development or anything, it’s just a cheap shortcut to have these anime girls injured (yes the ones who have their arms cut off are all girls, why would you expect differently). That’s the show in a nutshell, really.

Another point as to why this isn’t actually a magical girl show: there’s no female characters to help mentor the girls or look up to in any way. It’s all just tuff army dudes.

Let’s take a step back. The premise of the show is that a number of years ago the Earth made contact with or was contacted by a generic magical world that I’m sure is meant to be a parody of or at least evoke the kind of magical realm that sometimes exists in magical girl stories. They tell Earth’s governments that they’re being attacked by evil monsters or whatever and so they choose Earth girls to become magical girls. The show takes place after the war, with the five surviving magical girls from the original team at high school age and living in a world that’s had to adapt to the existence of magic and dealing with the new wave of terrorism enabled by having magical teleportation drugs etc..That’s a premise that has a lot of potential and what originally brought me to the show. It’s a shame it turned out the way it did (and I feel that I must stress: it’s very deliberately terrible).

Also enjoy this side character who committed warcrimes, I guess.

Now, Asuka seems to care less about its characters and more about showing off an array of mannequins to torment but there are two that are worth discussing: Kurumi, one of the surviving magical girls and single-handedly responsible for the worst excesses of the show, and Asuka herself.

She literally has BLOOD on her HANDS, get it?

Let’s start with Asuka (the character) because there’s something I want to bring up that’s darkly hilarious to me. In the very first episode we’re shown that during the war with the whatevers, Asuka (the character)’s parents were kidnapped by the chaos thingers and mailed back to her in pieces. Which is both over the top enough to be chuckle-worthy and something that should have left a major impression on Asuka. What actually happens is that this is explained in episode one, and then not even referenced until episode ten when it’s just briefly shown as part of a montage, then never brought up again. I find that hilarious. Though aside from her overwrought trauma, Asuka (the character) doesn’t have a whole lot going on in general. At best she can be described as generic. Her arc basically just amounts to her joining Japan’s special anti-magic force and seeing the other magical girls again.

Kurumi (whose magical girl codename is ‘War Nurse’ and I can’t help but feel she got the short end of the stick there) is the single worst thing about the show. The actions the story has her take truly elevate Asuka (the show) from merely bad to reprehensible. Just like pretty much every other character in this show, Kurumi has an excessively traumatic backstory involving being bullied until Asuka chose her to be a magical girl. She also enjoys fucked-up BDSM torture! Twice we half-see Kurumi sexually torture ‘evil’ magical girls in order to make them ‘atone for their crimes’. The second time involves Kurumi leading the girl from the first time around on a leash in some doggy roleplay. We’re later shown both torture victims happily serving Kurumi and friends in a maid cafe (that’s actually a cover operation for the anti-magic squad, it’s that kind of show). It’s just bad. Kurumi is also the one responsible for reattaching those arms after they get severed.

That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works. This show would have been better off just being a hentai.

There are other characters in the show, of course, though hilariously the last of the original five surviving magical girls doesn’t show up until the last episode doing something completely unrelated to the rest of the cast. There are the main villains who just kind of disappear for about four episodes, then show up in the last episode to talk about how they aren’t going to just destroy the main cast because reasons. The writing of this show does not strike me as ‘good’, is what I’m trying to say.

This is Chitose. She has another terribly overdone backstory, an abusive father and a mother who was killed in a car accident specifically engineered by the bad guys to traumatize her so they could make her into a magical girl. Then she becomes Kurumi’s second victim.

The Russian magical girl is under this delusion that one of the magical beasts is her sister. This is revealed in the last episode and this is pretty much the only shot we get on that.

Weirdly, the show seems to like parodying Cardcaptor Sakura specifically. See, here’s this shot of a freshly-traumatized child clutching what looks to me like a knockoff cardcaptor wand.

And occasionally the mascot does these ‘trivia’ bits that remind me of the post-episode bits of the Cardcaptor anime.

I guess the author just has a specific beef with Cardcaptor. Then again, maybe there are other digs at specific magical girl shows I’m not picking up on, I wouldn’t be surprised. See, it’s never explained why magical girls in particular. There’s no reason why these magical soldiers had to be young girls in the first place. Surely it would make more sense to choose existing top-tier operational operators to get this magical power. The show never explains why this is. I’d be willing to overlook this point in a better show, a more compassionate show, a more fantastical show. But Asuka (the show)’s attempts at realism make this omission stick out more. And, if I were to give the writing probably more credit than it deserves, I’d say that’s to make a point. To make you, the viewer, question why magical girls. There’s this line from episode ten:

There is no answer to this line in Asuka (the show). I can only conclude that it’s for us, the audience, to think about. Really, that just kind of feels like an insult to the concept of magical girls in general. Like it’s asking why shows where teenage girls have to fight for themselves exist. Now, I’m just a cis guy, but I don’t think I’d be out of line in saying that it’s important for girls to have shows where they are shown as powerful enough to overcome their problems. Just as long as those shows aren’t anything like this one.

In closing: this hateful sludge is the show, and all it wants to do is drown you.

We get flashbacks to the original squad of magical girls just so we can see them die horribly.

I only regret that I don’t have the energy to go on more about the show’s shortcomings. But, because I’m me, there’s one last thing I need to go on about. Over the course of the show we’re introduced to five ‘classes’ of monster. They are, in order: Halloween, Voorhees, Greed, Cenobite, and Gremlin. Four of them are references to horror movies, three are named after the monster itself, and two are named after the franchise (Gremlin counts as both monster and franchise). I have questions. Why not stick to just monster (Myers, Voorhees, Cenobite, Gremlin) or franchise (Halloween, Friday, Hellraiser, Gremlin)? And what the hell is ‘greed’ doing there? Could they not pick a system and stick with it? This whole monster-naming debacle is just another example of the mess that is Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka.

Why are the Cenobite-class magical artillery, what are you doing, show!?

#consumed media

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thepriceisrizzoli · 7 years ago

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six of diamonds

Maura finds a pack of playing cards in the supply room.

Nothing about this is very professional, like the Chief Medical Examiner ought to be. Not poised, like an Isles ought to be. Not sociable, like a regular person ought to be.

She could label it “gathering her composure”. In reality the word for it is “hiding”.

But what she does with her break time is her own business.

Around the corner from the morgue and down the corridor a bit, is a supply room filled with rows of metal shelving units, a library of chemicals and containers and cardboard boxes. Two short rows of cabinets with counter tops extend perpendicularly out into the room - the farther of which, if one sits behind it, conceals one from view of anyone standing in the doorway or even halfway inside. If one lays down a spare lab coat on the linoleum tile floor, one’s dress won’t get dirty.

Almost a month as Chief ME and this is still where Maura has been spending the majority of her down time at work, despite having her own office with blinds on the windows and a lock on the door. And her name on a plaque on that door, which makes her feel like a zoological exhibit in a labelled cage. Thanks to that plaque, people know where to knock.

People. Dead ones are predictable. Safe.

Live ones, not at all. Live ones are all phrases she doesn’t understand, jokes she isn’t in on, motives she can’t decipher. She can’t remember the last verbal exchange she had in this building that didn’t end with a flush of anxiety.

She just needs this time to sit alone and breathe.

In front of her subordinates - and she tries to think of them that way, hoping it will bolster her confidence - she’s got her act down. Somewhat. She thinks of her mother, of control, of self-assurance. Sometimes she overshoots; an impression of her is growing as a cold, morbid, astringent person, good at her job but at the expense of a soul. But the end result is still as desirable, she supposes. To be respected by all but liked by none means being left alone as much as possible.

If one of them ever catches her hiding in a supply room like some scared intern, she wonders if it will humanize her at all in their minds, or just add “pathetic” to her list of descriptors. She really should just stay in her office.

That little rectangle is still on the bottom shelf of the nearest shelving unit, in reach of the corner where she sits. She's half-noticed it the last several times, but today her eyes settle deliberately on it, because she can’t figure out what lab supply would come packaged like that.

Her chest flashes with outrage for the moment when she thinks it’s a pack of cigarettes, because no smoking is allowed in here. It’s not cigarettes. It’s a pack of playing cards.

She frowns. How that would’ve gotten here, she can’t even hypothesize. There’s probably a lost-and-found department somewhere in this building. Maybe she should take them there. That would probably require talking to someone.

With seventeen minutes left on her timer, she decides there’s no harm in having a little amusement. Slipping the cards out of the little box, she tries to remember any games that can be played alone. Games designed to be played alone, that is. Not playing two hands of multi-player games alternately, like she did as a child.

Solitaire. It’s all in the name.

The alarm on her phone rings quietly. It’s time to go be Dr. Isles.

Curiosity creases her brow.

Yesterday, she had tucked that little box snugly into the back corner of the shelf. She’s sure, even though she lacks the definite memory. It wouldn’t be like her to leave it askew, out in the open like it is now. She’s more comfortable when things are parallel, symmetrical, angles fitted into corners.

They’ve been moved.

She can’t win the game before it’s time to go back. Back into the little box the cards go, and back into the corner goes the box.

She sinks with a thud onto the speckled floor, setting a thirty minute timer on her phone before closing her eyes and rubbing them until she sees stars.

Her hands ache, still a little pink in the middle. She thought about wearing gloves, but that would just draw more attention and become a whole... thing. The scars would be there forever. She would just have to own them.

After working as patiently as she could pretend to be with that insufferable shrink, all Jane had wanted was to get back to work. And now that she finally is, it’s so much more of a struggle than she expected. Just like they warned her, but she can’t admit that now. Hell no.

She still loves the job itself - it’s just the being around people part that sucks. Not any particular person (except her mother, but that’s nothing new), just people. She’s sick of catching the ends of glances, the hiss of whispers just beyond earshot. Sick of people she’s never seen before, shoving recorders in her face and asking her about things she’s still having nightmares of. Sick of people she sees every day wanting to ask the same questions so much that she can feel them struggling not to.

She hates that everybody knows her and she doesn’t know them. It makes her feel exposed.

Both of her requests, for a night shift and a new partner, had been granted. As long as sleeping nights is hopeless, she might as well spend them working.

Her new partner is okay. Nice guy, bright, young. A little green, but so had she been once. In the back of her mind, she knows she should be nicer to him, take the time to get to know him, but she just doesn’t have the emotional energy for that right now. What she likes best about him is that she thinks he gets that. When she needs him there, he is. When she doesn’t, he isn’t.

Nights at BPD are better, for now. Anybody there at 3AM is just there to work. Nights on the street are better, too, in a way. The roaches come out at night, easy to step on.

She slides the cards out of the box.

Spotting the cards in definitely a different spot from the one she’d mentally noted gives Maura an indecipherable jolt in her chest.

She is not the only one with the idea to come here. Somebody else, at some point, is sitting here and using these cards. They aren’t a forgotten artifact, here by chance. They belong to somebody. This other person isn’t the interloper; she is.

She wonders who they are. She wonders if they notice her.

Counting the cards explains at last why her games keep getting stuck. The six of diamonds is missing.

They’re stuck. Dead lady, husband didn’t do it. They’re not even sure it’s a murder. Autopsy report just says suspicious death. Those cases suck, when there might not even be a needle in the haystack.

The more interesting case right now is who’s screwing with these cards.

Somebody’s coming in here, just like she is. Sitting here long enough to play cards. Hiding… no, she’s hiding. What would anybody else have to hide from? It’s probably just somebody with nowhere better to go on their break. Who is it? A depressed janitor? Some evidence tech? Multiple people?

It wouldn’t be somebody who works on this floor. She isn’t hiding out on her own floor, and anybody else would have the sense not to, too. If somebody walked in here to get more test tubes or whatever, it’d be embarrassing, but at least it wouldn’t be somebody from her own department. The news might not travel.

No matter how she leaves her cards, she finds them in precisely the same spot every time, pressed into the corner of the shelf.

Even on nights when she doesn’t play with the cards, or doesn’t take her break at all, she still makes a point to go in there just to move that box. It’s too perfect and it bothers her, and she wants to bother them back. After a few times, it becomes a little bit of a game.

They do notice her - they must. She finds the little box differently each day. Sometimes flat. Sometimes standing on its end, sometimes a few inches off from its usual spot. It almost strikes her as playful, but that would be reading too much into it.

The day she’s sure it’s playful is the day she actually has to search to see them - standing up on end, tucked almost behind a cardboard box on the usual shelf. Like a tiny little person peeking out from behind a corner.

She reins her expression back to neutral after hearing herself giggle out loud like a delighted baby playing peek-a-boo. How pathetic. Or is it? She’s interacting with another person, kind of, and why shouldn’t she let that make her happy? She warms a little again and picks up the box.

Before leaving that day, she spends several minutes deciding on a fitting reply to the stranger’s placement. She tucks their cards underneath that cardboard box, spine noticeable only to eyes that are looking.

Well well well. They’ve got some fun in them after all.

When she smiles, she realizes it’s for possibly the first time in something like 48 hours.

It’s not like she loooves solitaire, but it’s the only solo game she knows, and it’s become a habit. It helps clear her head.

Handling the cards is still annoying. Her fingers still fumble at separating one from the next. She tells herself this is the fine motor practice that Dr. Klein said she should be doing.

It’s weird that one card would stick out from the others. It’s the six of diamonds.

Which is really odd, because this is the deck from which she gave her CI the six of diamonds as a signal two years ago. It’s the only reason she had it in her desk drawer.

But here’s a six of diamonds. Too rigid, too glossy, standing out against the worn edges of the others. The pattern on the back doesn’t match.

This... either surprisingly thoughtful or unbelievably anal person has put a brand new six of diamonds in this deck.

The cards don’t want to fall out of the box today.

Maura pinches her fingers and extracts a piece of paper, folded and fat. Without it, the cards slide easily.

It’s a half piece of paper, torn. On the center rectangle of its folds, a single word is written in ink. “HEY”. Block letters. Paper otherwise blank.

Would it be presumptuous to think this is addressed to her? It must be.

Are they angry that she touched their property? Should she not have made her presence known? Was this stupid? Was there some important reason that card was missing, like maybe seeing a six of diamonds card is some kind of trigger for them and she’s done a terrible thing?? Should she drop the cards, leave the room, and never spend another break here, maybe look back into that job offer in Connecticut???

She takes a deep breath. Just because it’s in capital letters doesn’t mean it’s confrontational. It’s just a greeting.

After staring at it in silence for most of her break, as if it can see her, she finds a pen. Knowing full well that soon she’s going to think better of it, and be tempted to pause mid-autopsy with brain matter on her gloves and dash back in here and grab away this little piece of paper, she still does it.

She adds, right under the HEY, in her own neat cursive.

Hey.

#rizzoli & isles #ficlet #thanks to yodrdeath for totally stolen idea #sixofdiamonds #does either of them really have a designated break period? probably not #especially not maura but i figure she can make her own rules somewhat and jane well whatever it's pretend #part 1 of 2 maybe #maybe not #my stuff

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the-queer-look · 4 years ago

Text

Nothing Rhymes With David

Name: David James Age: 30 Location: Wollongong Occupation: freelance music journalist/podcaster Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Gender: Cis Male

Without the hair and the beard I look like Augustus Gloop in Wonka’s chocolate factory, so as soon as I was able, I started growing all this out. I haven’t had a hair cut in eight years, and the beard really does it for me, so I’m set like this. Of course now I’m getting grey streaks and thats a whole thing to deal with, but I’m thirty, I can just deal with that. I have well over a hundred band shirts, five pairs of shoes, and three pairs of pants, so some variation of this is what you’ll see on me from day to day, just a constant rotation of band and wrestling shirts. Like Kevin Smith said “If you’re fat, you wear black, and you wear layers.” and he was right. I’ve never gone for his jorts, but I respect his dedication to the craft. Over time they seemed to get wider and wider until it got real distracting. Kevin Smith has as many and varied hockey jerseys as I have band shirts, and I respect that hustle.

I realised I was bisexual when I was fifteen, it was the video for “Make Damn Sure” by “Taking Back Sunday” and I remember Adam Lazzara being cute as hell. At first I thought that I thought he was just really cool and I wanted to be like him, but I then realised “Oh no this is more of an infatuation sort of thing like when I was watching Angeline Jolie or whatever” and I just sort of put two and two together and realised that there must be a thing for that. Basically when I find out something new about myself I just add it to the list of things I know about me; Like realising that I was a bit straight edge, once I had the words to describe it, it just became a part of who I was. Having the words to be able to describe myself like that is very comforting y’know? Like I was diagnosed with Aspergers’ as a kid, but didn’t get told about it until I was a teen, and finding out just made a lot of things make sense. There was no change in the way I presented myself, I was fifteen, Mum mum bought my clothes for me!

I don’t know what being queer means to me, I’ve never felt that I really fit in with all that. You know when you’re a kid and see those signs saying “you must be this tall to ride?” I feel like when I look at queer stuff that if I want to be involved I’m going to see a sign saying “you must be this queer to enter” and I don’t know if I’d measure up. I just feel like I’m caught in the middle, and I’m just not cool enough or queer enough to be included in those conversations. Being queer is as much a part of my life as being right handed or left handed, its one part of the puzzle that makes up me.

I don’t think that anyone in my community, and in my scene knew any any trans people before Laura Jane Grace. To the best of my knowledge that had never happened in such a public way in the modern punk or hardcore scene. There were a few gay people - we were kids when Rob Haldford came out and he was in his mid forties when he finally came out in 1998, long after people had stopped caring about Judas Priest, and frankly that’s what brought them back into the mainstream. So there was a few queer people in the heavy music scene, but Laura Jane Grace was the first time that we learnt about trans people and transitioning, and learning about proper pronouns, and seeing it all happen very publicly. It was a huge thing to see, and the closest we’d come to was fictionalised stuff like Hedwig and the Angry Inch, or the Crying Game or something, we’d never seen it be so real and so open. They weren’t the first trans punk person, but they were the first big name performer in the punk scene to do this. On a smaller scale? there’s a musician from Newcastle called Rachel Maria Cox who came out as Non Binary a few years ago, and we’d never heard of that stuff. I grew up in Nowra, I didn’t know about this stuff, I didn’t meet another openly queer person until I was nineteen and came up to Sydney for a show, and even then in terms of people who weren’t Cis I wouldn’t be able to tell you shit. To find out what non binary was, and what transitioning was, it was incredible for me. That opened up a whole spectrum where people were way more comfortable explaining who they were, and no I have a whole load of non binary friends. That dialogue has become so much more open, and I attribute that to people like Rachel, and Laura who really blazed the trail really.

I feel like we need more positivity for larger men. When it comes to a positive role model for a fat guy like me I get… DJ Khaled? No thanks really. There aren’t really any fat, queer dude that you can look to and see as an aesthetic role model. Which is a problem inherent to queer society as well, is this big push of these gorgeous, slimmer people. As much as there’s this push for body positivity, especially for women, I so rarely see larger men being held up as positive examples of queer masculine aesthetic.

you can follow David on:

davidjamesyoung.com

Podcasts:

all my friends are in bar bands hottest 100s & 1000s The big show show show

David’s band

“Nothing Rhymes with David”

Instagram:

@DJYWrites @notforprintpods @XNRWD @hottest100s

full interview on facebook

please contact us if you would like to be involved

#the queer look #queer #bi #bisexual #bi boy #fashion #identity #culture #photography #portrait #lgbt #lgbtqiaplus

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marblegreens · 8 years ago

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all of them :D

…Well, I guess this’ll save some people the trouble of deciding on a question.

1) if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?That’s a pretty broad choice. Um…I guess they’d have to read Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh and Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen, watch South Park, and listen to J-Rock or Nightcore.

2) have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?My professor. We’re both actually more or less on the same wavelength in terms of how we do things and how we view life in general. The only difference is I like writing fiction (and nonfiction, to a degree) and she specializes in poetry.

3) list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.We’re gonna be here all damn day if that’s the case, but I guess one fandom would be Carmilla, and I can relate to Carmilla quite a bit. Also, Bob from Bob’s Burgers. He and I say “Oh my God” pretty much the same way.

4) do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better?I like it enough. I think it suits my personality. I just kind of wish it was one syllable because my siblings have one syllable names.

5) do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?I think those two terms can overlap with each other. Humans are capable of doing so many things that it just gets to the point that there really is no reason to debate whether or not something is human behavior or just an outlier. I think human beings are just living creatures that do their own things and that’s what makes them human. I hope that’s understandable.

6) are you religious/spiritual?To a degree. I do believe in my religion’s teachings and philosophies and try my best to abide by them, but I don’t regularly pray or attend sermons and stuff, mainly because I don’t have the patience for it.

7) do you care about your ethnicity?Yes, because it’s a part of who I am. I think it’s important to know where you come from. By understanding your ethnic background, you gain an understanding of yourself as a person, why your circumstances are the way they are, and why you turned out the way you did. This, in turn, allows you to figure out more about who you are and to progress with personal growth.

8) what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?I don’t really pay attention to that; I often just listen to the artist’s songs and think, “Hey, this is pretty good” and move on. As a result, I have a lot of songs that I connect to, but not artists.

9) are you an artist?I think writing counts as an art form, so yeah, I guess I am.

10) do you have a creed?Life sucks and people are terrible, but that gives it all the more reason to try not to be an asshole. Just do your thing, be as nice and respectful as you can be, and don’t take bullshit if it actually is bullshit.

11) describe your ideal day.I get the whole room or house all to myself, get some work done, run some errands, play some video games, and eat my favorite foods.

12) dog person or cat person?Dogs. I can tolerate cats and will try to be friendly, but the thing is, dogs tend to be more willing to receive my hellos, you know what I mean?

13) inside or outdoors?Depends on my mood, but most of the time, indoors.

14) are you a musician?I used to play flute, but I stopped that a while ago.

15) five most influential books over your lifetime.1) The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky2) Epicoene by Ben Jonson (it’s actually a play, but it’s still considered literature)3) Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn4) Lord of the Flies by William Golding5) Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

16) if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?Well, it depends on what kind of different environment. But if you’re talking about the different environment that I’ve always wanted, then yes, I would be, but not by much. I think I would just be more emotionally expressive and adjusted and actually know how to channel my negative emotions in a healthy way.

17) would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?Like…maybe only 70%? I think it’s fair if I keep some secrets. Although, I will say that this is a space where I do feel more expressive than I am in real life.

18) what’s your patronus?I took the official quiz a while ago, and I think I was a lynx.

19) which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?Once again, took the official quiz. I got Hufflepuff, which I’m very proud of, thank you very much.

20) would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?They all sound dangerous as Hell, so I wouldn’t really want to be in any of those. Honestly, I’d like to be in the world of Binbougami ga! Gods and blessed humans constantly fighting and snark-yelling at each other? I’d like to see what goes on with that!

21) do you love easily?You mean romantic love or love in general? Either way, the answer is no. I can care about someone, but loving takes a very long time. I learned a long time ago that if you just give love away willy-nilly, people won’t reciprocate or, worse, they’ll take advantage of it. Writing that out, it sounds very emo and cynical, but it’s what I experienced.

22) list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.1) Working on schoolwork or job hunting2) Watching Let’s Plays3) Writing4) Reading5) Pondering about life and my life choices and circumstances

23) how often would you want to see your family every year?Only during the holidays and/or special days. So, like, maybe 3-7 times a year? I love them to death, but they’re all difficult to deal with and just produce unnecessary stress for me.

24) have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?No clue what that is, but if it’s something like being on the same wavelength or thought process as someone, then yes. It was probably one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life.

25) could you live as a hermit?Nah. As much as I don’t like dealing with people, I still need to at least be around them. I don’t necessarily have to talk to them, but having a few people around does make a difference.

26) how would you describe your gender/sexuality?I won’t disclose my gender because I want to keep some privacy on that, but I will say that I identify as cis.

As for sexuality, I’m demi-bisexual. Yeah, I may have forgotten to tell you guys that I actually realized I like both guys and girls. Which would explain a lot. Specifically, it would explain a lot on this blog. And I’m pretty sure some of you out there are going, “I fucking knew it!” right now. So yeah…there’s that. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner; I wanted to prepare myself and took the longest time to do so, but I guess with this question being in here, it was a sign saying that I should just say it already.

But I do want to emphasize that I’m still demi-sexual. Literally do not experience anything unless I’m really close to the person.

27) do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?Pretty much. I’m fairly minimalist with how I dress and do my hair and stuff, so people are more or less seeing the real me when they do.

28) on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?With 10 being the easiest? 9.

29) three songs that you connect with right now.1) King by Lauren Aquilina2) Odyssey by Televisor feat. Danyka Nadeau3) Chasing the Sunrise by Archie (there are no words, but the song for some reason has been really speaking to me these days)

30) pick one of your favorite quotes.“Whatever is not yours: let go of it. Your letting go of it will be for your long-term happiness and benefit.” - The Buddha.

(I should explain this one. I’m a believer of things happening for a reason. For example, if you really want a certain job, but for some reason, you can’t manage to land one, then that’s a sign that it’s not the job you’re meant to have. So let it go and find something else. You’re probably going to be really frustrated because you believe it to be your dream job, but it probably isn’t. You’re probably meant to do something else).

#anon #ask #jesus this took so long

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