#and jet being like WELL im gonna beat your ass next time just you wait SONIC THE HEDGEHOG and sonic being like Ok 👍

[sonknuxadow]

im watching the sonic free riders cutscenes for the first time because idk im bored and im probably never gonna play this game properly and umm . some of the dialogue and characterization in here . It sure is something alright !

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Hello! 👋 I love your work, especially your Pietro Maximoff stuff. He deserves more recognition and writers like you do an amazing job providing it. If you’re doing requests, what would you think of Pietro x Stark!daughter in AOU; enemies to lovers HCs or one shot? They meet when HYDRA is infiltrated & struggle w/ their growing attraction to each other. Maybe she takes a bullet for Pietro in Sokovia and he stays by her side as she recovers. It’s up to you. Take care!

hii!! thank you sm :(( I did hcs, hope that’s okay, im having writers block, and anything other than hcs breaks my brain. thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌

ACROSS ENEMY LINE (headcanons)

pietro maximoff x stark!daughter reader. 667

— I think tony and the rest of the team would be apprehensive about you going out into the field - wanting you to wait in the quinjet while they did their thing (the opening of AOU) 

— but while you're in the jet, you can see the people on the radar thing (im talking out my ass, but basically seeing wanda and pietro) so you're able to see them before the team - so you try using comms to give them a heads up, but the signal is lost

— so you'd do as you were instructed NOT TO DO - leave the jet. you make your way towards clint first, and then that's when you see pietro (he knocked you over as well as clint) so he's talking down to you too - he makes a quick snarky comment. maybe he says, "you didn't see that coming," to you instead (ik sorry canon) 

— im gonna say it and I hate it bc it makes me cringe, but maybe time stands still (guess that works for pietro bc he moves so fast he can slow down a singular moment???) anyway, you'd both be looking at each other (obviously communicating with eyes) until he speeds away, maybe nat tries to blast him, so she can help clint

— then all the usual movie plot happens. you regroup, offering to help - but tony kinda shuns you for not doing as asked

— then more movie stuff happens until you meet pietro again when they try to stop vision being born ?? (haven't watched it in a little while, but I think that's when they're all together next) maybe you exchange a few questioning glances, bc you're both once again on opposite sides

— while everyone is trying to stop each other - he and you do the same. he's focused on stopping you, like you him, but bc of his speed, he practically runs circles around you. then he repeats the comment to you again. or maybe he's keeping you occupied so you don't get hurt by being caught up in the middle

— vision is born and that's when you all truce - trying to find a way to stop ultron

— on the quinjet, you and pietro are seated next to each other, and it's kinda icy (maybe you're butt hurt about him beating you twice) he tries to call it even saying, "you know, we're on the same side now. you have to like me,"

— maybe you make a "mhm," sound - unamused. but he tries again, saying his name and extending a hand, "sorry for earlier... when I beat you... twice," but he's joking and laughing, not actually serious about a truce (your loss kinda thing)

— you don't talk for the rest of journey to sokovia

— rest of the movie stuff happens (but instead of ulton with the flying gun thing, one of the bots is after pietro who is protecting clint and that kid)

— you get shot in the shoulder when you basically become a shield (instead of pietro - sorry I had to say it)

— pietro helps you to the helicarrier - wanting you to get medical attention. he's all panicked, in shock of what just happened. he'd curse you out saying that was stupid and you shouldn't have done that but he's glad you're not dead

— he won't leave your side when you get stitched up, offering to hold your hand if it hurts. he'd have sympathy pains and would be encouraging (bc you literally just saved his life) !! after you're sorted he'd ask why you did it, maybe you say "you didn't see it coming," haha get it? bc it's switched over? he laughs, and it silently creates a truce between you. then you say the actual reason, something about not leaving someone behind, or it's what your dad would do

— maybe you're about to have a little moment, but you both brush it off - wanting to save it for when the adrenaline wears off 

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

[takoyakitenchou]

masquerade ch.10

im back (fr this time)

“I always knew you were weird,” Akira muttered when they got onto the skydeck turned landing pad. He and Hisako had just graduated from their respective colleges and now they, Souma, and the Denmark Nakiris were gathered on top of the Copenhagen penthouse for some quality catching up. There was no doubt that the day would end in another round of shokugekis.

“Rude!” Alice pouted as she set down a large blanket and a few red Solo cups in the shade of Ryo’s new helicopter. “I just happened to buy my amazing husband a gift! Besides, he has a license now and having a charter plane is fun.”

“You talk as if your family doesn’t own three private jets,” Akira pointed out, pouring draft beer from a two-liter pitcher.

Alice waved this off with an annoyed flap of her hand. “Hayama, when are you and Hishoko gonna get married?”

“We’re twenty-two,” Hisako pointed out dully. “And don’t call me Hishoko.”

“I’m not, Hishoko. However, as the official matchmaker of the Nakiri Faction, I must insist that you get the hell on with it already.”

“Nakiri Faction?” Akira inquired.

“Yes! You’ve been an honorary member since you assisted my booth at the festival in first year.”

“You mean Jun’s—”

“And you and Hishoko are going to get married in like… two days, so she’s automatically a part of the faction as well now!”

Souma laughed as he took out a few boxes neatly packed with onigiri. “Yo, Arato, did you buy Hayama a helicopter yet?”

Hisako raised an eyebrow. “No,” she smiled with a teasing air. “But he bought us a company.”

The red-haired chef spat out his Lagunitas IPA. “What!?”

“Yeah, I bought Habui,” Akira said casually, as if he were talking about bargain eggs.

“Holy shit! Is that why you were on the front cover of Forbes!?”

“It’s been the only thing on the news for the last week, Yukihira,” he replied drily.

Alice added, “It was definitely a shock at first, though.”

True—it took her a full hour of staring at the magazine to properly process the fact that twirling his Phi Beta Kappa key around his finger and still wearing his graduation gown, the fresh Columbia graduate had dethroned the Sendawara sisters with a phrase that would become legend—“My nose can make better curry than your hands.” How he’d made that much bank as a college student was up to debate, but nobody questioned the fact that he was the new CEO of Habui. 

“Tokyo will be our home base,” Hisako said, staring speculatively into her cup. “I’m starting med school at Johns Hopkins in the fall but after Innlausn opens next month Akira will probably be moving back to Japan.”

Souma’s eyes widened. “Wait! I just had an idea. Why don’t you guys stay at my place in Evanston for the startup period?”

“You’re only saying that because you want us to be indebted to you so we don’t run your ass out of Illinois,” Akira scoffed.

“Cruel,” Souma retorted, feigning hurt. “I’m just being nice. Right, Arato?”

“I mean, I’ll take you up on it,” Hisako grinned, and she and Souma exchanged a fist bump. “We owe you one.”

“No, we do not! Don’t say things like that to him!”

Alice smirked at this. “Oh, yeah? You only got your Chicago floorspace because Yukihira’s journalist girlfriend pulled strings with the contractors.” She paused for a second, then whirled on Souma. “By the way, Yukihira. You’re getting pretty serious with Erina again, aren’t you? What a fuckboy. Two girls at once?”

A vein pulsed in Souma’s temple. “Oh, shut the fuck up. I’m single and Erina doesn’t like me like that anymore.”

“Baseless assumption!” Ryo bellowed.

They all laughed at this — the story of the spontaneous kiss after Origin’s opening night had circulated among the friend group and now they were placing bets as to when the former first and second seats of the Elite Ten would finally quit beating around the damn bush. Souma, who had been too embarrassed to call Erina since the debut, had chosen to aggressively not participate.

Within moments, they were all rolling up their sleeves and getting their hair out of the way to crack down on each other in a shokugeki themed “obscenely expensive”. They had just raided Alice and Ryo’s apartment-sized kitchen, making vulgar comments on how Akira had only bought Habui because he was still salty about Sendawara Natsume hitting on him during the Elections and talking general shit like they hadn’t already earned each other’s highest respect, when Hisako’s phone rang.

Everyone leaned over the doctor-restaurateur’s shoulder to see just who the hell would dare interrupt their shokugeki episode.

Incoming FaceTime call from: Nakiri Erina

Before Hisako could even answer the call, Souma dropped his knife and bolted for the door. His flight was cut short by Ryo, who grabbed his collar and yanked him backwards. “The fuck you going?”

“F-finland,” Souma squeaked, his arms and legs in frantic motion.

“Oh no you are not,” Akira snapped, shoving Souma back over to Hisako, who was greeting Erina over FT. “Take responsibility for your dumbassery.”

The blonde chef dropped her phone when Souma entered the frame. “Y-yukihira!?”

“Um… yo…? Nakiri? Sup?”

Erina was already blushing, but she managed to say, “Nothing much. You?”

Hisako passed the phone to Souma with an expression of amusement, who nervously combed his fingers through his hair and started moving around to find better lighting. “I’m uh… not doing anything either. Where you at?”

“I’m in Tokyo,” Erina said. “At dinner with—”

“Yukihira!” Asahi grinned, popping into view.

Erina looked a little disgruntled as the two proceeded to treat each other like the brothers-in-law they were probably going to be (hahah the foreshadowing). 

The rest of the Nakiri family greeted Souma and asked him if he knew where the hell Jou had disappeared to this time, and obviously Souma had no clue, but it really did seem like things would work out between the two families after all. Once it was just Erina watching him silently through the screen, Souma gave a slow smile and said, “Good seeing you again, Nakiri. I guess I’ll…”

Erina asked hesitantly, “Are you free later? Maybe around midnight my time?”

Shrugging, Souma answered, “Should be. Why?”

“N-no, it’s nothing. Never mind. Goodbye.”

“I’ll call you,” Souma offered. 

Erina’s ears turned red. “If you insist, I will pick up your call.”

“Sounds great.” Souma passed the phone back to Hisako and sat down grinning like a foolish idiot. 

Alice had been watching the whole interaction with mild amusement, and now she tapped the kitchen counter for attention, first dibs on the truffle oil long forgotten.

“So, Yukihira. You still think she doesn’t like you?”

[cryptidbutchh]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[rapperkookz]

ironman!namjoon

a/n wow ok so this is the start of my avengers!bts headcanons and yuh they all have set in stone story lines but im gonna shake it up a lil bit xD

word count: 2.3k

____________________

kim namjoon

you see

the kim namjoon is a smart kid

child genius if i say so myself

and boy he knew it

no eleven year old chooses to write a paper about hubble’s law of cosmic expansion for a science project instead of making a trifold and using liquid cement

no, namjoon writes a 4-page paper in apa style with a magnificent abstract

he got an A on it of course

his brilliance only goes up from there

and with his rich parents, he has the opportunity-

to which yoongi and seokjin would say “privilege”

but let’s just say “opportunity”

to do incredible research and studies and experiments

his dad has a science lab built just for him in their house

by nineteen, namjoon has taken over a good percentage of his parents’ business

kim enterprises

growing up, namjoon had an idea that his parents’ business was pretty expansive and were involved in many areas

but it wasn’t until he was placed in board meetings at eighteen when he absorbed how powerful his family really was

and sure the business aspect of him was aight, but he loved his lab and would rather leave the negotiating to his mom and dad

you grew up with namjoon, you were also from a wealthy family

your fathers were childhood friends and they grew their businesses together

although kim enterprises surpassed your family’s wealth easily, the bond between your families were still tight

namjoon was stubborn and a smartass

but he wasn’t a jerk, just...very selective with his true self

he’s also a bit spoiled, but with his parents who gave into his every wish, it just turned out that way

at 21, namjoon’s parents got into a plane crash on the way to a meeting in london and it unfortunately claimed their lives

namjoon became the sole CEO and heir of kim enterprises

he asked you for help because damn he couldn’t run a whole business by himself??

and you weren’t needed yet to run your own family business

so you didn’t mind helping out your friend

things were running okay with little kinks in the road, but the business was still thriving and so namjoon was okay with that

until one day when you and namjoon were hanging out in his family mansion and it was broken into

in a crazy haze, you were captured and abducted

namjoon knew they were after him and not you and for the first time in his life:

he had absolutely no idea what to do

he had to find you of course but he didn’t know where to start

namjoon couldn’t tell your parents because they would absolutely kill him for not protecting you

and honestly he wanted to beat himself up too for that fact

thanks to his brilliant mind, he managed to track wherever the fuck you were being held captive

he took his private jet out to a nearby place and did the rest by foot

this was basically a suicide mission and he knew it, but to hell with it

namjoon would exchange his life for yours, you’ve been with him since birth

back to you

you were being held in a cell

your captors needed namjoon to build something for them, but since you weren’t him, you were useless to them

you thought they were going to kill you

but instead they just locked you up

you didn’t expect to see namjoon being pushed into your cell with you

“joon what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I uh...I found you.”

you thought he would have told your dad and then like officers would come and find you

not namjoon, alone.

“did you expect to just walk in and sweet talk them into letting me go?”

he scratched the back of his neck

“for a genius, you’re fucking stupid.”

“okay, truthfully, i thought I could turn myself in and that would convince them to let you go, but i guess they just took both of us haha.”

for weeks you two were held prisoner, your captors taking namjoon in the morning and returning with him at night

you were just stuck in there

but whenever joon came back, he had a new injury to him

your heart hurt whenever you saw him come back, pain all over his face

you would do your best into aiding him, but you didn’t really have much options in the small cell

it was one night when he didn’t come back and your mind automatically assumed that he was dead

you started sobbing in the cell, god you were going crazy

you needed to get out of there

and then when you heard some whimpering and cries of pain, your drive only got bigger bc you knew it was namjoon

you started clanging on the cell and screaming for them to let you go

and then from the corner of your eye, you spotted joon crawling to you, all bloodied up

you gasped spotting the large wound on his chest

but before you could start losing your mind about your best friend was going to die, he calmly started instructing you to build a generator for him

you: joon! I’m not as smart as you, this thing is going to fucking blow up

joon: y/n, calm down and listen to me. you can do this, i believe in you

also joon: connect that wire to the plug...black long thing to red square.

as the hours went on into the night, namjoon sounded weaker and weaker, making you urgent into finishing his little generator

you started holding his hand

“joon, it’s done, okay? it’s done.”

“this is going to hurt like a bitch, but put that generator in my wound. and shove my shirt in my mouth, shut me up with it or we’ll get caught.”

“w-what?”

“just do it y/n!”

you shoved the triangle thing you made (with his help) into his chest and shut your eyes as you basically gagged joon quiet

within minutes he started to get better and you felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders

the last thing you remember before crashing was joon saying “thank you, y/n, now go rest.”

you were awaken by a huge bang

lo and behold, namjoon’s in a tin suit and he blasted your cell open

you could barely register namjoon breaking the roof of your cell and grasping you by the waist and flying you out of there

his tin suit failed him within minutes, the thrusters he built at his feet giving in

but the important thing was that you two made it out and crashlanded in a lake

the place where you were held captive burst into flames

you were founded by your father’s men

(he had some great influence in the army)

and fuck you and joon suffered from one hell of a ptsd

for a while, joon became distant

i mean, could you blame him? y’all got kidnapped and almost died

you tried to reach out but his house security kept denying you

cute side note: namjoon’s jarvis is called moni

“god dammit moni, i just wanna talk to him”

“my apologies miss/sir y/n, master kim doesn’t want any visitors at the moment.”

:(

the next time joon talked to you was months after you two were found, he invited you over to his house and his security system led you straight to his lab

you walked in to see your best friend in a golden technological suit, the triangle generator you helped him make glowing on the torso of his suit

“joon, what the fuck are you doing?”

he sat you down and explained how after your whole kidnapping, he realized that he had a gift 

and he could either be sitting around waiting to be kidnapped again for his mind to be used for the worst

or he could be doing something for the greater good

you honestly couldn’t follow, couldn’t he just use his wealth to donate to charities or something?

but no, he wanted to be proactive and idk be some kind of superhero

“why are you telling me all this?”

“well, not only are you my best friend and we have suffered through hell together...if I happen to die out there, I’m leaving you in charge of kim enterprises.”

“huh die out where? joon you’re not going back there.”

he then told you how he was forced to build weapons while you were kidnapped and how his parents dealt with underground business with terrible people and now it’s come to bite him and kim enterprises in the ass

“i’m going back. If you want, you can stay here and monitor me. moni has complete access to my suit, it is my eyes and ears.”

“god, just...come back, don’t die on me, please.”

you end up watching him complete whatever mission he had for himself

but also how he got his ass beat

you almost missed a pair of boys save him from where he was

they were quick to the eye, dressed all in black, you just remember one with a bow and arrow

fast forward another couple months

joon was safe, thank god, and just doing insane upgrades on his suit and what not

you called him golden boy, but he said that name just didn’t suit him

you see that pun i put there ;)

the two of you were discussing the art exhibit he needed to attend when moni alerted him of visitors

surprise surprise it was the same two boys that you remember saving him, except they were dressed casually this time

“you must be y/n, namjoon hyung’s better half.”

namjoon glared at the boy, “shut up, jimin.”

the other one spoke, “we need you both to come to headquarters.”

“omg I’m not being kidnapped again, am i?”

the three of them laughed

you were told that jimin and the other boy, taehyung, were agents under BTS, a protection initiative created by their boss, Mr. Bang

and now, namjoon was being recruited to be part of that initiative

BTS is a specialized sub-unit to the larger Avengers motion

it put your mind at ease knowing that namjoon wasn’t alone in his whole fighting crime and saving lives ordeal

the media deemed namjoon’s golden suit as “iron man”

and although you personally liked your “golden boy” name better

joon had a complete liking to the other name

you witnessed when they recruited more agents to BTS

namjoon began to have a nice bond with the other boys

and it made you happy, of course, knowing that he had others by his side

but sometimes you couldn’t help but feel as if you were being replaced as his best friend

especially when he and the wakandan king, jung hoseok, became rather close

namjoon first realized his feelings for you when kim seokjin, aka the god of thunder, was flirting with you during one of joon’s house parties

he almost had a fist fight with him

but the other boys held them back from beating each other up

a supersuit vs a god with insane powers? that wasn’t going to end well at all

and so namjoon secretly pined for you

you were still doing business together, but it was mostly you because he was busy now with world saving duties

you were the one to convince him to recruit their youngest and final member to BTS

the spider kid, jeon jungkook

namjoon becomes jungkook’s mentor

and it’s quite endearing

but jk’s also the one to spill to you that namjoon has had the hugest crush on you for the longest time

kid just can’t keep his mouth shut sometimes

all the boys knew that namjoon was basically in love with you

they even helped him come up with this elaborate event of confessing to you

...which all went to hell bc yoongi got triggered and smashed everything

yoongi felt so bad afterwards

but all ended well bc of course you loved namjoon back

he was your best friend and your #1 since day 1

namjoon ends up revealing himself as iron man probably a year after the whole BTS unit was solidified

the press was hell for kim enterprises

which you had to mainly contain :/

but you know he’s a charmer in front of the camera

your parents were a bit iffy when they found out you were dating iron man

but if anyone could take care of you, they knew it would be namjoon

aw im emo

dating your best friend/business partner is a rollercoaster

you’ve had your fair share of heart attack moments, waiting for him after a battle or a mission

namjoon has put his life in danger and will continue to put his life in danger and you’re just going to have to deal with that

he hates that he also puts your life in danger just by association, but you have a lot of protection, courtesy of Mr. Bang

you wear his suit sometimes and try to fly it for fun

he finds you cute

builds you a suit, yourself, but you don’t wear it often

mostly bc you know there’s some weapons included for safety and that scares you a bit

you end up merging businesses with kim enterprises

and run the whole rodeo bc he’s too busy saving the world

but you always keep him updated on what’s happening

he’s become less arrogant after being with the boys and after dating you

but he’s still a smartass

uses kim enterprises’ wealth and resources for the improvement of BTS

it’s pretty useful if you ask me

namjoon becomes the spokesperson for BTS ;)

he and his boys save the world on the regular

but he wouldn’t be saving the world if you didn’t save his world first

u fucking wu

that last part was cheesy but am i sorry about it?

nah

7-6-19

[fandomdragon20]

The Princess and the Pea-ist oFF PAPERBAG THATS WHAT (part 3)

So the group went into the dinning hall to continue dinner, after Flug threw the disaster of a dress into the fire outside, with their new guest, both Demencia and Flug engrossed in his story.

Black Hat however kept quiet. Skeptical about the man, who explained he was a noble of the kingdom and how his family was rich thanks to their line of works in the engineering field, however Flug was sort of the black sheep of the family who was close to only his brother. (I wonder who it could be?? Owowowowwowó) Cut away from the family name by his own choice, Flug started his own kind of "unauthorized" work with his share of wealth. Flug was an inventor at heart so he knew a thing or two about technology. Flug would sell confidential information to the black market, hack a few of the major banks, and post some fake news that would go viral on Facebook.

Black Hat merely scoffed, a lesser villain with the ability of technology and hacking, something Black Hat himself would never stoop so low to do.

"So what happened with," Demencia gestured outside where 505 was beating the fire down with a pine tree, "...all that?"

"Oh, well...The police managed to track my computer on my recent "heist" and so I had to make a run for it." Flug explained

Black Hat laughed bitterly, so the man failed to be a lesser villain at that. Weakling.

Flug continued, "So I made my way into town, where some crowd of people where having a wedding celebration. While being hunted by the cops, I didn't really blend in the crowd with the paper bag and all, so I had to hide in the dressing rooms. Apparently the bride left the ceremony early leaving her wedding dress and vail behind. No one else knew so I-"

"uh..."

Now both Demencia and Black Hat were laughing

"It hid my face well, alright?!" Flug said trying to justify himself,

"Anyway, I went through half the ceremony." he continued with Demencia laughing on the floor just imagining the situation, "Unfortunately my cover was blown and the police were back on my tail so I took out my plasma ray and shot at the wedding cake for a distraction as I ran out to the parking lot, thank god they had a private jet waiting outside with a "Just Married" painted on the tail wing, the nerve of those rich bastards..." As he muttered that last insult, Demencia interrupted with an enthusiastic wave of her hand,

"Wait, wait, wait" she commanded for a pause, "you said you had a plasma ray?"

"Yeah...for emergencies...doesn't everyone??"

"Where did you get it from?"

"Oh," said Flug, "I made it myself. It's one of my successful inventions. Being part of the digital black market you got to be prepared, buying weapons was too risky, so I make my own security..."

Demencia wides her eyes at Black Hat as in 'Holy Christ of Cow on a Shit Stick' where Black Hat shot back a glance that said, 'What Get your Glances straight, I can't Understand You?!' Demencia then stared back, 'Eagle is in the Nest!!' In which Black Hat raised his long ass eyebrows in a 'wHAT DOES THAT MEAN??' face, to which Demencia replied, 'GOOSE IN THE EGG' glance jabbing her head at the guest sitting blissfully unaware of their silent conversation at the end of the table babbling about mechanical claws and some alien-DNA-changing-Gucci-watch from space or something. Then Flug began to wrap up his tale,

"I mean I've never been to space, personally, but that's what I would do...Anyway, um, got a bit carried a away there... so I made it to the plane but was intercepted by one of the guards of the ceremony. So, from what you can guess with the blood and shoe, it's safe to say I made a pretty sloppy escape into a storm...and here I am!"

That made Demencia interrupt again, "Woah, how many times did you stomp him in the ground, five times?"

"More like twelve,"

"How can you tell??"

"From the number of holes in his skull..."

The table went silent and Black Hat grinned, a disgusting one at that, and Demencia only grinned back at Black Hat. Flug became a little uncomfortable under the gazes of his hosts, despite KILLING a man not even an HOUR ago??

Then Demencia broke the silence, loudly,

"IM GOING TO EXCUSE MYSELF TO THE KITCHEN, UH FLUG IT LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED SOME UTENSILS, riGHT??"

"Um....yeah, actually, uh, paper bag...and all..." Flug timidly replied, pointed at his mask

"OH good! Black Hat if you could 'help' me find the utensils in the kitchen?" She said through gritted teeth, trying to keep her excitement discreet,

"Can't you just give him yours?" questioned Black Hat,

Demencia threw her knife and fork into the kitchen,

"yEAH well, they're dirty and so are yours, that's no way to treat our guest!" She bravely grabbed Black Hat's sleeve and hoisted him from his seat, "Now into the kitchen and to the silverware we go!" Demencia chanted before disappearing into the kitchen with her boss.

Black Hat grew claws and snarled his teeth, "Touch. Me. Again, and I will swing you by your bush of a hairstyle!"

"Ooo, a new threat that one, but that's not the point! Don't you see?? We got a good catch!"

"What? For my company?? Please, all I see is a dimwit in a lunch bag that crashes planes into other people's fields! Honestly the fact that he is still alive in my presence is most shocking about him..." said Black Hat,

"He is what we need isn't he? And more! He's an weapon inventor who single handedly escape tax fraud while getting away with murder on a plane in a storm!" explained the demented witch hybrid, "and he's sitting right in front of you, quite literally, on a silver plate...! which I don't know why you don't just use the paper plates we bought?"

"It's less class! And we are not jumping into hiring just aNYbody! If he is an inventor, he has to prove himself worthy to even be sitting in my house! My company needs someone with perfectionist detail and character, he has shown a risky past in villainy, but what of his inventions? How do I know he will make them to my standards?" explained the dark master,

You're standards are a fucking roulette wheel,

Said the invisible narrator that nobody heard

Ok, even if this Flug WERE evil enough to work for the most powerful villain in the known universe, he had to be a perfectionist...but how to tell?

A wicked thought flashed through his monocle and the dark lord grinned,

"Demencia?" He asked quietly formulating his plan in his mind, "do you remember that take-out you brought from a few week's prior?"

The witch replied with confused hesitance, "Yeah? I think I might've left it in the back of the fridge,"

Black Hat teleported to the kitchen's cooler (the fridge, past me, being all "whimsical" and shit) and searched for a scruffy small take-out box next to some Red Bull and tinfoil wrapped dill pickles.

After finding what he needed, Black Hat pounded his fist on the box, crushing the cemented contents inside. Instead of opening it like a normal person would, but lacking anything humanly characteristics, it was expected. So whatever. Rice clumps spilled from the sides of the box and, with clawed fingers, Black Hat fished through the old leftovers to find a once steam wrinkled pea now tough and tainted yellow with age.

The dark top hat held the pea between the tips of his claws, inspecting it through his monocle as the Evil Queen would hold the poisoned apple thinking of her potential victim.

"Demencia," said the top hat demon with sly, "how many spare mattresses do we have in the guest rooms?"

"Oh damn...are we gonna finally build that Ultimate Pillow Fort of Doom?! That's great! I just bought (stole) enough mattresses to build a whole castle-!"

Black Hat cut her off,

"We are not building a damn Fortnite!" Clearly missing the use of youth culture reference,

"I have a plan, you go out there and distract our "guest" while I get everything into place."

Demencia, while suspicious of Black Hat's new scheme, went along with it and went back to the dinning room with a pair of chopsticks for utensils having forgotten that they were having pizza,

"Here you are! If you don't know how to use them, just stab the slice as if it where your enemy's liver!"

"Normally I'd go for the spinal column to draw out a painful death, but thank you anyways." Replied the paper bag wearing Hannibal Lector apparently,

Black Hat grinned, not once admitting he had high hopes to hire the strange visitor, and continued to the "guest" room.

<< Previous Next>>

[neuropathicgypsy]

More knocking today

Two different people.i figured out they were messing with the air conditioner.

The dude just here said he couldn't budge it. It was jammed stuck in there

Since Gordito was warning me that he was going to kill me, I assume he was a big strong guy cause Gordito says he was all fired up.

So the next guy down the row is all "I send the weaker guys do and i tell them if they can't do it I'll do it myself and beat them in the ass, too"

So I had 15 minutes to move the air conditioner, by myself because that's what I have to do because I'm an adult.

So this dude is all with his hidden camera on my front door and he's all "oh my God my guy said he could not move that air conditioner and it would not budge for anything and she pulled that out with one arm! One arm! Oh my God, she what she means when she says "bring it" she meant it!!!"

And he's going on and on about my one arm.

I told him "I used two, don't be so dramatic"

But I did. Yesterday my daughter and I brought the wagon full of groceries up the stairs and into the house. I was looking at the goods still in it to see what we could use as weapons... luckiest chance will be he will stop to eat.

Worst case is that I run out of Chips Ahoy cereal and there was only one box so someone has to explain that.

But this dude is all scared now.

Im a very big girl with lots fat on my ass, stomach, thighs and arms oh and my quad chin. But not so far under that is muscle.

It didn't bother me at all to pull it out

Had to move the (unwrapped) presents and Christmas tree so I could fit then I had to pull out the metal machine then the window was stuck and I only had 15 minutes and that 15 can go quick so I was pulling hard as hell to get it straight locked.

He is screaming the whole time with this little electronic gadgets at his side all "oh my God I can't believe she did that! She's all "ic can't move it hurts so bad wah wah and she does this with on hand to the air conditioner"

Genius, radio frequency ablation or not. I'm not fucking gonna sit there with some dude trying to get in the easy way no mother fucker. Hell no that's lazy as fuck. I had to break into my own house because I Locked my keys in. No. You are gonna have a more difficult time to get into my house than I do.

#gofuckyourself

This mother fucker claims to see the light after promising all his little buddies that he's gonna kill me. He's now gonna break all them promises cause for Jesus sakes.

That's cool. I won't hold it against him.

Got all my windows and doors blocked. Break it and get in and you're gonna be all fuck i just rolled into Home Alone 2020.

I am not kidding. Still waiting to make sure that dude is gone and my daughter is breaking bottles in her room. No shit. The Starbucks. thick glass bottles.

It's home alone, man.

Some dude is being paid pennies or promised by a liar as deep as him. Seriously. He balks at me just pulling out the air conditioner. The fuck?

That's nothing.

That promise that so and so is gonna get money if they kill me. It's paperwork that can be overridden by my own or the FBI's. Or jail time. You can't get money if you're hired to murder

Dude is running around with a contract that he's gonna take to a lawyer for a pay out. "Hi, I promised Jesse I would kill sabrina and I did, so where's my money Mr Lawyer?"

I mean I could tell him the lawyer is FBI but then he didn't believe I would defend myself or my daughter alone. By myself. Because that's how I handle things

So at this point. He's either not going to do it cause he's scared or he's gonna be dumb and for real expect some money

Regardless there's a beautiful paper trail. So they may let him think he's gonna get and book a flight to paradise. Actually load the plane and land in paradise for the cops to smile and take him right back on.

Imagine it. All the money you ever dreamed of in your life. Ever. You can own the world. Just kill a fat bitch that's been in bed for two years. Easy. Easy. Moneh. So easy. Mmmm..I can smell the money. Oh yeah. Ohhh rub it on my fat tummy, hide stacks in my fat roll.

Hide that shit and hold up my fat so my back don't have to carry the load and I load up in a crane to get in my private jet.

Paradise. On my way. Staring out the window so so so so happy

I'm on top the world. Nothing gonna stop my smile. A little pain. Just rub a $100 bill on it.. mmmm so so so so good.

Okay so maybe you're not fat. Read it again and add yourself in it. Maybe your dick is so hard you need help to make it look more like "BoxErs' or you're all mmm new titties, stack some money up there and see what I look like STACKED as fuck!!!!

(I seriously got yelled at cause I was for real in the zone. And laughed at. It's ok)

I think you get the picture.

It doesn't matter how much pain I have. The emotional and mental pain will last so much longer than a little back pain added to my already pain. I have alot of pain all the time. I can block it out but it takes alot of energy

Let's #science for a minute. Adrenaline knocks out all pain. You hear all the time people getting shot and not knowing till they see the blood cause they're all amped up.

So to decide to hurt someone who is already in pain #science the person knows what pain is and is in pain constantly so it doesn't matter how much pain someone causes them. Because for them it's nothing.

Let's do a mini study:

You take someone with years of pain

And someone that works out alot so they have some stretchy pain. Sore muscles etc. I get tinnitus like a bitch in both elbows and wrists cause I go all crazy like straight from bed to carrying air conditioners. (That is what happened) but most people that work out regularly have very little pain.

So high pain tolerance vs average pain tolerance

Same as a Snoop Dogg Weed Smoker vs a first timer smoker.

Same as a hot dog eating champion vs someone constantly on a diet.

Same as an alcoholic vs someone never drank but a few sips when they daddy's back turned (in my case my mom's)

So. Seriously. I have a very high pain tolerance

And unfortunately for some (possibly) i did have successful radio frequency ablation. So I'm doing amazing things like standing for 5 whole entire minutes. Yesterday we carried up the wagon full of groceries. Not a shallow Radio Flyer. A deep one. Very deep. I was on the bottom so I had to balance and lift. It was difficult.

Then we reached the top. I couldn't get to the door so I handed my daughter the key. She was messing around laughing all "I tried to use the car key" I had to stop my mouth. It was crazy. I was about to tell her, (because I've been telling her the truth about my pain and so I try to explain to her what's going on so she understands that sometimes I'm not socially normal. And it is okay to be all I have pain. It's not a weakness. Of course tell a hired hit man, that and you gotta haul out an air conditioner which he still insits was with one hand) so my hips you know... I had to settle my body square but realized I was okay and could stand without pain.

Like for real. It was so awesome. I didn't have nay back pain. I felt great. I was gonna tell her "hurry up, my back hurts" but I didn't have to. I didn't need to. Because I had no pain.

Sure I need my pelvis and my neck done but so what. It's actually better in my neck... or was... yesterday wasn't so kind to it.

What was cool was the FBI was surprised and amazed. I'm gonna cry. Because they have been such a huge support for me. My doctor checking on me constantly answering the lamest and most unintelligent questions over and over. He's so kind. The FBI asks questions about the pain I had from the procedures. Asking how to avoid things and how to do others and making sure that I would be pain free. It's amazing. I'm so so lucky they referred me there and I got treatment. It has been a very long process taking 3 months but finally we finished and I'm so lucky

My pain started suddenly. Out of the blue. And just got worse and worse. My regular doctor wouldn't give me stronger pain medication and wouldn't help me. So the FBI did. They would tell me about other people that got it done to help me understand and feel better. It hurt. Alot. Alot alot alot. But they were always there just making sure I was okay. Making sure I wouldn't have problems and my doctor, he would do it on his own because he's awesome but the FBI just dragging him along, what's this and what's that and she feels this and that is that normal? We're lucky he didn't get a restraining order! They sent other guys and girls in the FBI to be treated by my doctor so they knew what was normal in the office and they could see what happens. Of course they double, triple and annoyingly checked. Just for me. I help alot of people.

And today I had 2 different guys try to kill me and the third on the fence. So as you can imagine add in Denise and all the others i complain about, it's quite overwhelming of negativity. Mental and emotional strain and pain. And a heart condition causes physical problems as well.

So I'm not gonna say i couldn't handle it on my own because I made the decision to try it, full throttle all the way. Even if I had to lie --- which I didnt. Thank god it worked. The first day I had pain in my side. I studied it and memorized it to the point I was severely anti social. And after despite insane pain from needles and lidocaine injections and my back already being swollen clear across my entire upper ass region. The pain I studied was gone. I knew for a fact.

But I decided if I had to, I would lie. Because I didn't have a choice. I couldn't walk just to the bathroom sometimes. I can't have back surgery. I'm a mean bitch (they say I just say I'm aomtim bitch but whatever) and I can stand up to billionaires and people trying to kill me, swat teams, guns in front of idiot ass holes, kidnappers. All sorts of the craziest shit that sometimes doesn't even seem real. But I'm scared to death of back surgery. I've heard so many times it doesn't work and just makes shit worse. It's like chemo. Two things I never want to do and may elect not to, even if my life will be over sooner.

I suppose if I got in a fight with some dude trying to kill me, I would end up with needing it. But that's like an award. A battle scar. It's different. It's all yeah I kicked his ass and saved mine. It sounds so fucking awesome to me. It's uplifting because I survived but yeah of course I had to work really really super hard at it because I hurt myself to the point of surgery. So it's like a feeling. God says he's sorry and so he's gonna not let me suffer anymore and allow the surgery to be 100% successful.

I mean at that point. Maybe I need some metal in my back, to deflect bullets and be all bulletproof.

So yeah. I'm not a liar. That's the point. I don't have to lie.

Sometimes being late for work or taking my daughter to work I'll think of all these fantastic lies that I could say to make my being late super important. By the end, i get there and I'm all "Man we were fucking asleep" not fucking tho. Just sleeping. Truth sounds human. Normal. We all fuck up. Sometimes more than enough nut we do and it's better to tell the truth that you were sleeping than to try to keep all your lies straight. Because when your boss wants to fire you and looks at your file and you're all "I over slept so I was an hour late" "I had a hangover and I killed my alarm and didn't know what it was" they're gonna be all... on one hand they're always late on the other hand they're completely honest

So I just tell the truth. What? I fuck up. Punish me if you want but I'm real. I'm a real human being. And I'm not gonna lie to you.

Honesty is so important. My mother is a master we manipulator and brain washer. So fuck it. Be honest

Then you'll have an idiot marvel at how you can move an air conditioner in less than ten seconds that a weight lifter couldn't. I don't have a reason to lie. I don't like lying. I don't mind tricks so much. Like implying I had Matt's baby when really it was my cousin's and it was a girl not a boy. Or implying I was at Matt's hide away house when really i was at my aunt's. Those are different. Sometimes you have ro test the waters. And I Never said a lie. I allowed you to lead yourself to believe something you wanted to believe or not believe if you think I can be yours. And you wanted to have an anger fit. Or be happy for me.

You know, honestly in was wishing. I was wishing that it was true so there was a deep make believe in the story. But it was all make believe which just now that term just totally made a different sense to me. Make believe = believing something someone made you think. I always thought make believe was imagination. Not some twisted Hitler Denise shit. But yeah. That's all Denise. It's horrible. Like finding out a sing along song is about the plague.

I've had a rather shocking day and so has my hit man so I'll be quiet for awhile. See if I can get my dropped jaw to stop letting all the humidity out my mouth.

So Mr Hitman, Reporter fool. If you get bored think about how you will defend yourself against an air conditioner being used as a weapon.... on your drive done to see me.

Or just put yourself to bed. All your friends are in jail. I don't think they will mind that you weaked out and broke your promises to them.

Of course you would probably need to hide from them when they find you chickened out. So then you would need paradise money. But then the FBI is just gonna arrest you if you do or if you dont.

The FBI thinks you should turn yourself in.

I'm not licensed to do this so let's entertain ourselves for a moment before I go:

The Hitman is an adrenaline junkie, he thinks he's strongest and wisest and must send the weaker out before him. And it's true, he did.

Yet he believes what he wants to, mostly lies he tells himself. Like I'm a liar. He's gonna get paid. There's no FBI protecting me.

If I was him and really believe myself but saw the light but still wanted freedom. Personally I would run. No GPS. In woods. Swamps, water. Making myself as cold as possible so the heat lamps wouldn't find me. But I'm a loner and kinda crazy.

So this guy will probably go hide out at a friend's house and then get their house raided so then he has even more enemies.

The FBI tells me he has no way out and he should turn himself in.

So that or go Rambo.

I guess go to the Casino, try that fantasy on the plane trick, if you can win.

I guess also, if it were me. I would go all out. Night on the town like you wouldn't believe. Remember when you get arrested that's the shit you leave jail in. If you get that opportunity. So definitely arrest me in heels and the most sparkled soft beautiful dress you can imagine. So when I finally get out. I look like a Million bucks. So that my outside space resembles my inside space. That final freedom.

Then pick up where I left off that night I got arrested. Out. Drinking. Smoking. Fucking. Whatever i want as my last harrauh.

If you turn yourself in then you still can dress it up. Maybe something a little tight you haven't worn on awhile cause you plan to do them push ups all kinds while in the pen. So when you get out its it's a double celebration.

Anyways. That's me. Either I'm all Rambo style in the mud in the dead of winter or I'm in a ball gown. It's so difficult to decide.

Ball gown is so much calmer. Plus after getting out Rambo clothes are gonna be dirty. They don't let you wash them before you go home. So.

I would probably ask for 5 hours on the town and then arrest me.. me. You would have to arrest, I'll be honest. Fuck that turning myself in bullshit. Yet on the other hand, cops are less rough when you're all "okay. I know it's time. Hi"

And the cops they laugh cause they're so surprised. They're all the fuck?? You make their day. And even if your day sucks for you, it's a nice feeling to make someone else's a little awesome.

[awritesfanfics]

Not Your Fight Pt. 1

Here’s one of my longer fics, probably gonna split it in two parts (yep) bc I ramble so so much but that’s because I need to connect things, and that means describing more settings and explaining more actions and ahhh if you don’t like when I do this let me know!! But I think it just adds to the story :)

So I wrote this after watching Homecoming but a lot of it is based back in civil war, if you have homecoming-centered requests just let me knoww!!

(part 1 is basically just a bunch of filler tbh, a link to pt 2 is at the bottom!)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: (im sorry im on mobile and I cant deal w this formatting rn, it's around 2,000 words thanks)

Warnings: Violence, Cursing

Tags:  @yourgayonlinemom

———————————————————————————————————–Ding

“Notre Dame.”

“Correct.”

Ding

“Tel Aviv.”

“Correct.”

Ding

“Luncheon of the boating party.”

“Okay, how? Can I ask how? Because there’s actually no way for you to know this stuff.” Flash sat back in his chair in disbelief.

“Are you being serious? Or are you just jealous that i beat your time again? Because I can do this all day, I don’t have a problem,” you challenged, leaning closer. Michelle giggled.

“She had to have studied the answers before, even I didn’t know half that stuff! Me, not knowing something.”

“Excuse me, isn’t that why I’m on this team? Because I’m smart? And if everyone knew the same things, we wouldn’t get anywhere,” you snapped. “By the way, if you haven’t noticed by now, there are -” you counted the people in the room out loud. “- 7 other people here that are valuable members of the decathlon team. Maybe if you stopped kissing your own ass so much you would notice them.”

Michelle almost fell out of her chair. Flash was too shocked to even respond.

“Woah, okay I think that’s a good place to stop for the day,” Mr. Harrington said, finally intervening. “Same time tomorrow. Don’t forget permission slips.”

“Yea, call me if he ever comes up for air.” You nodded towards flash. “I’d love to introduce him to everyone on the team.” You stood, tossed your backpack over your left shoulder, and picked up your books from the table.

“Thank you, Miss (Y/L/N), that’s enough. See you tomorrow.”

You nodded and smiled at him, then at Flash, who was still recovering on the other side of the room. You could hear Michelle and Liz picking at him as you turned to leave.

Peter collected his things and sprinted over to catch up with you.

“Where the hell did all of that come from?!” He laughed.

“What do you mean? I’ve never liked flash. He’s always been full of himself, I couldn’t take it anymore.”

He looked at you and shook his head, giggling.

“Oh, hey, that reminds me!” You stopped and turned to face him. “I got a call about the Stark Internship, I think I’m in! They want me to go in for an interview in a few hours,” you squealed.

He cocked his head slightly, and seemed to hesitate. You took the question right from his lips.

“Don’t worry, Spidey, I’m not going to steal your thunder as the new friendly neighborhood superhero. From what I read, it sounds like it’s just a logistics position,” you shrugged. “Somewhere in the background.”

“No, no I’m not worried about that. It’s just, things can get pretty intense out there. Gotta be ready for anything.”

“I think I can handle it.”

He didn’t look convinced.

“So um, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Or, tonight, if you’ll be there too.”

“Yea, maybe, I’ll see what happens. See ya.”

You smiled, but as he walked away your smile disappeared.

What isn’t he telling me about this? Why is he so worried? Your mind reeled with unasked questions. You never considered yourself a fighter, but you could hold your own against everyone that’s come after you in the past. You were a teenage girl from Queens, you had to learn to defend yourself at a young age. And you certainly had the brains for anything Tony stark wanted to throw at you.

I’ll be fine. I have to stop overthinking this. Just gotta get through the interview.

As you stepped outside the gym, a tired looking man in a clean cut suit standing in front of a black Escalade greeted you.

“Good afternoon Miss (Y/L/N).” The man held open the door for you.

“Good afternoon. I don’t believe we’ve met, formally. You are?” You offered your hand for a handshake, but he ignored it.

“I was sent by Mr. Stark to bring you to work. You start today.” He looked at his watch. “Well, in a few hours.”

“Work? I was under the impression that it was just a job interview. I don’t have the right outfit, I mean, these are just my school clothes. And my mom, I told her-”

“Well, there’s been a change of plans. Everything you need is right in the back seat.”

You stuck your head in to check. A women’s two-piece suit hung on hangers by the other door, a silver suitcase rested below the seat, and a microphone earpiece sat on top of your passport, which was placed carefully on the back seat.

“How did you get all this stuff? Is that suit for me?” Your phone started vibrating, and you excused yourself to take the call. “Hello?”

“Hey (Y/N), it’s Tony, yea plans for the uhh, whatever, the thing we had later-”

“The interview?”

“Right, the interview, yea plans have changed. I sent Happy over there with your stuff, your mom packed it for you, such a nice woman. Hope your ready for some on the job training today.”

“Yea, I mean-”

He hung up. You took a deep breath and put your phone back in your pocket.

“So you’re Happy?”

“Yes, but if we wait any longer, I’ll be Impatient. We’re on a schedule, let’s go.”

With a nudge, you got into the back seat and shut the door behind you. “Am I supposed to change into this right now?”

“No, you can change in the plane.” He answered.

Plane? Where the hell am I going?

-

You watched out the window the entire flight. In the small bathroom you got changed into the perfectly-tailored navy suit. The material was strong, but breathable. You could move around very well in it, but you could tell it was resistant to some degree of tearing.  You slipped the earpiece into your ear and looked at yourself in the mirror.

Oh God, you said to yourself. This is really happening. Holy shit.

As the plane landed you could finally tell where you were. Germany, at the Leipzig/Halle airport. Happy led you through an airfield, with passenger jets and shipping containers waiting to be piloted into the tall hangars that stood scattered nearby. You took an elevator up to the observation tower of one of the hangars.

“This is amazing.” You stepped out of the elevator, taking everything in. Happy clicked the ‘door close’ button behind you. “Wait! What’s my job?”

“Make yourself at home, find something to do.”

You looked around. No one even noticed you’d walked in. You figured you’d start by introducing yourself. Maybe they’d have been expecting you.

“Hi! My name is-”

“Tall decaf, extra cream, no sugar.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not an intern, I’m-”

“I get it. You’re an ‘executive assistant’ or something, right?”

“No, I was hired by Mr. Stark to-”

“Look, I know you mean well, but we have work to do. Please,” he handed you $5 and shooed you away.

“Excuse me, sir, but Tony Stark personally sent for me-”

The man turned around and rolled his eyes. “We didn’t get any word from a ‘Tony Stark’. I don’t know why you’re here, and frankly, I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. So I’d you could just get the coffee orders from everyone else and be on your way sweetheart, I’d appreciate it.”

Suddenly, you took him by the neck and slammed his face on the desk next to you. He fell to the floor, groaning, and in shock.

“I got my associates degree in bioelectrical engineering freshman year of high school. I was sent here to do a job. I’m not here to buy your coffee, ‘sweetheart,’” You said, tucking the $5 bill back into his pocket and smoothing out your blazer.

All eyes were on you now. You still had no idea what you were meant to do, but you went along with it anyway.

Fake it till you make it, right?

You took a seat at an empty desk overlooking the airfield.

A voice came in through the loudspeakers.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Well, I’m not your captain, officially, my friend (Y/N) here is. Wave to the people (Y/N). So as you’ve figured out by now, she will be in charge of every move you make for the rest of- you know you’ll be able to figure out when it’s over. So yea, just listen to her, fasten your seat belts, and get ready for a bumpy ride.”

You nodded matter-of-factly.

Tony’s voice came through on your personal mic next.

“You ready for this?”

“Well I don’t exactly know what ‘this’ is,” you whispered.

“We need you in air traffic control. Keep an eye out for anything that might get us killed. You’ll know it when you see it.”

“Fair enough.”

A different voice now boomed over the loudspeaker in German, followed by a blaring siren.

“What do I do? They’re evacuating the airport,” you asked.

“You speak German now to? That’s so cool.”

“Yea my grandma- look, now’s not the time. What do I do?”

“Tell them they have to watch to make sure everyone is out safely.”

You repeated the message to the group. “We must continue our day as we normally would, and keep an eye out for the unauthorized use of ballistic missiles and report it to me.”

A small panic arose. “There is nothing to be worried about. Just monitor the use. If anything gets out of hand, we simply intervene. Back to work.”

You sat down and tuned your earpiece to pick up Tony’s conversation. In the distance, you could see people walking towards each other. He was arguing with Steve. You watched as more of the Avengers joined them, picking sides, before they split into two groups and fanned out.

“It’s showtime. You ready up there?” He asked.

“Copy.”

You watched as Tony and Rhodes countered Clint’s arrows, Wanda’s bursts of light, and Steve’s shield. More than half the fight was airborne. You navigated the battlefield for Tony, Natasha, Peter, warning them of every blow, counterattack, and predictable outcome of their individual physical matches. You watched as the flyers took to the air, with Tony circling the tower you occupied.

“Tony, you got a bandit on your six. I’m turning him into a glider.” You heard Rhodes over the earpiece. You watched as both Iron soldiers sandwiched the observation tower, with Falcon and 17 civilians caught in the crosshairs.

“Stop! Stop stop stop! There are civilians in this control tower, I repeat, civilians in the control tower!!” Your trembling voice echoed across the sound waves. “Abort strike, abor-”

The missile misfired at the last second, crashing into the side of the hangar and taking out the elevator shaft. Suddenly, the channel went silent. A fire began to spread around the sight of the impact. Within minutes, the whole tower would collapse in flames.

Both sides froze, unsure of what to do.

“Wait wait wait, what was that?” Peter stuck his head up from behind a shipping crate and turned to Tony.

“Tony, who was that?! Karen, get me a visual on that hangar. How many people are in there?”

“17. Records of past voice analysis data indicates that the voice that called out for a ceasefire belonged to a Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Shit!” He yelled, sending his fist into the nearby shipping crate. “Tony! You brought her here?!”

“This isn’t your fight, kid. Stay here.”

But it was too late. Peter shot webbing onto the nose of a 747 and swung, then caught the nose of another, and another. The building was up ahead, a fire just beginning to break out near the site of the explosion. People working on the ground gathered around the exit, eagerly watching the entrance for more survivors.

The people in the tower began to panic again, this time for good reason. You knew you had to get the group under control, or no one would make it out.

“Everything is going to be fine. We all just have to keep walking. File into the staircase. There is a doorway right at the bottom. Once we get through it, you’ll be able to see the exit, and you can run, but I ask you to please not run here,” you ordered calmly. It took all the strength in your body to keep your voice steady. “If we start running in here, someone may trip or get hurt. The exit is very close, and you’ll all be fine, I promise.” You cracked a worried smile as you ushered the group down the remainder of the narrow stairwell. You pushed the doors and held one side open for the workers. With the light of the exit door in view, they fell into a dead sprint, as if they were racing not the time before the fire engulfed the hanger, but each other.

“If everyone out? Can anyone tell me if everyone got out?”

No answer. You took a deep breath and looked up the stairwell.

I can’t risk it. You shook your head and pushed away from the door, skipping steps as you sped back up to the fourth-story office space.  

The once bustling room was now filled with emergency lights and smoke. You stayed low, calling out for any remaining workers before turning to leave. One final visual sweep of the floor settled your nerves; you were the only one left. Suddenly, you started to hear the loud creaking of twisting metal. The floor shook beneath you and began to tilt. The observation tower was falling.

You threw yourself down as many stairs as you could manage before the tower hit the ground.

The closer I am to the ground, maybe the closer I am to a solid foundation. 

Within an instant, the entire building was leveled.

-

Part 2!