#and jaskier doesnt want to think about it doesnt want it to be real doesnt want any of it. wants to ignore it

[fangirleaconmigo]

Yennskier to Geraskefer concept (Yennefer x Jaskier with some + Geralt at the end)

Ok so what if the very first time Yen and Jaskier ever defend each other, it is a complete shock to both of them and happens (of all places) in front of his parents?

(TW: Yen is in disguise so some of the flirting could be read as dubcon but no bards were hurt in the making of this fic, I promise)

So when they first meet, Yen and Jaskier snipe at each other relentlessly, right?

Scheming, devious, calamitous witch.

Useless cock for brains.

Geralt has taken to tuning them out completely.

By complete random bad luck, Yen learns one night in tavern gossip that Jaskier isn’t his real name. She becomes suspicious of his intentions. She brings her concerns to Geralt.

“They said that his true name is Viscount Julian Alfred Pankratz. Is that true?” she asks Geralt.

“His name is Jaskier,” Geralt answers, sounding exhausted.

She pushes. “I know that family. They are well connected, prominent, and bigoted. Your bard could very possibly be asked to turn Ciri in to curry their favor.”

"This is insane, Yen." Geralt drops his head and looks miserably into his tankard. “You two need to start getting along, or I’m going to age at least a century before winter.”

"That's not what this is about!"

She gives up on him. He will never think clearly in these matters. She suspects he has romantic feelings for the bard, which she wouldn't mind, she isn't much for monogamy herself, but oh god, the bard??? That smarmy, whorish little bastard? Unthinkable.

She decides to pay Jaskier’s parents a visit just to reassure herself that they aren’t interested in her daughter.

She disguises herself with a glamour and gets herself on the guest list of one of their fancy parties. She is playing the part of a voluptuous blonde wife of an absent Duke.

Jaskier is supposed to be back at Oxenfurt. That’s what he told Geralt, anyway. But she walks in the door and there he is, holding court at the party in his well fitted satin, with his glinting charming smile, and his flushed cheeks and…and…well…other things that Yen would never admit to noticing.

But what was he doing there?

Why did he lie about being at Oxenfurt? Could he already be colluding with his parents?

At the thought, she expects to feel rage. But an entirely different feeling wells up in her.

Disappointment. Hurt.

She shakes it off. Stupid. She's used too much magic for her glamour. It's making her weak. She takes a seat directly across from him at dinner.

He introduces himself to her and kisses her hand. Julian Alfred Pankratz.

His lips brush the top of her hand and in response she acts like one of his tarts. Only because she has to get him to trust her, obviously. Yen smiles and flutters her eyes at him. His smile is charming. So is his admiration of her form. When his gaze drops ever so briefly to her cleavage she feels something else unexpected.

Warmth.

She shakes that off too.

His parents sit on either side of him. Yen doesn’t waste much time. By the time the second course is served she brings up Ciri and the war.

She doesn’t expect Jaskier’s mom to immediately bring up the horrid witch who is hiding the child. The slut who doesn’t know her place. The evil women who schemes and plots and who gets what she wants by manipulating men with her whoredom.

Yen is used to being called these things by conservative wives. But she finds her eyes flick to Jaskier, and her heart leaps to her throat. It makes her so, so angry that she cares what he will say.

He has always seemed like an enemy? But here? Behind actual enemy lines? He feels like a friend.

Fuck.

But Jaskier averts his eyes. He stares at his plate. He isn’t going to join in, but he isn’t going to defend her either. Obviously.

She DOESNT care godsdamnit. She’s just caught up in the moment. She DOES NOT CARE.

So it is entirely incidental that she experiences immense, sweet relief when he smiles softly to himself before he replies.

“Oh mother,” he says genially, “but I know you. It is simple envy that moves you to such crude accusations.”

His mother splutters. “Do you think I covet her false beauty—“

“Not her beauty.” Jaskier says, still calm. Still affable. “She is beautiful of course, but nothing like that. It’s just that you and father are so small minded and so constantly desperate for the approval of other, equally small minded people, that when you see someone who has a soul and who lives in a free spirited manner, that you ache with envy and impotent rage. And that is why you use such uncharacteristically crude and low language to describe her. That is why you yearn to oppress her and control her. That is why you want to put her in her place.”

Jaskier smiles genially and takes another bite of his lobster.

His parents turn so pink with rage that they look purple.

Yen hasn't felt such satisfaction in so very long. She also isn't used to people taking up for her. Not in places like this.

His father is the first to regain his composure. He smiles and looks around the table at the nervous nobles who are trying their best to ignore the awkwardness.

He smiles around the table. “You have to excuse my son. Instead of accepting the position at Oxenfurt he roams the earth thinking with nothing but his base impulses. He knows nothing of the real world. He is young, idealistic, and completely useless.”

There are nervous chuckles around the table when Yennefer speaks up.

“Actually,” she says in between sips of champagne, “I have heard of your son. Jaskier is that right?”

Jaskier looks at her, surprised and deeply pleased.

His parents smile tight lipped.

“Ridiculous name,” his mother says.

“Well,” says Yen, “you’re probably right. The vaunted thinkers and academics who laud his poetry coast to coast are probably incorrect. The soldiers who offer their undying gratitude that he has documented their deeds are wrong. The traumatized war orphans who cry and say that he has saved their lives with his art are surely absurd. It is you who are correct, I’m sure. Of all the ways you can spend your life, comforting and inspiring people does sound like an utter waste of time.”

She primly sips her drink and the grateful, genuine smile that spreads on Jaskier’s face like the sunrise rockets straight to her soul.

The rest of the dinner is tense, but Yennefer is having a wonderful time. Conversing with a Jaskier like this---he is adoring and attentive--it is addictive. She never knew it could feel like this with him.

And after dinner, when he finds her outside the privy and steps incredibly close to her, his hand sliding around her waist, she is shocked into silence by her desire. She doesn't find her voice until he has kissed her ever so softly and tenderly that she almost melts onto his parents stone floors.

"J-j-askier," she manages to mumble.

"Yes, love. Marina, is it?" he murmurs into her ear, his nimble fingers trailing from her neck down, down down. "Beautiful name. Beautiful woman."

She steps back and lets his arms fall heavily to the side.

"I must tell you something. And you will regret what you just did."

It could have sounded like a threat. She meant it to sound like a threat. But it just sounds sad. The glamour falls from her and his face transforms into shock.

She swallows the lump in her throat as he steps back so hard, he hits the wall and covers his mouth with his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he demands. He looks white as a sheet. Terrified.

"I just did!"

"Earlier!"

"Because!" Yen squeaks. (She never squeaks) "I was...flummoxed. I--oh a pox on it, Jaskier, I liked it. Is that what you want to hear? You asshole? You bastard?"

His hand falls slowly from his face. Then a soft, tiny, smug little smile begins to form.

"Ha. I knew it."

He did not know it.

She smacks him. He laughs.

Then he remembers something and falls back against the wall againt groaning. "Oh, Geralt. Geralt. I'm a terrible friend. I will have to run off, to never return--"

She smacks him again. "Ow, what?"

"Calm down. Let's go see him together. I have a feeling he is going to like what we have to say."

The next time they kiss, it is in front of a roaring fire in her home in Vengerberg, with Geralt caressing them both, and watching with fondness.

"If I had known that it was this easy to shut the two of you up, I would have insisted on it a long time ago."

[roughentumble]

wait wait wait, thinking about Jaskier and Geralt happening to bump into each other at some festival or whatever and they're wearing masks but immediately recognize each other but they kinda jokingly pretend they don't and don't call each other by name

and maybe they kinda end up flirting or something or maybe it's a fertility festival so sex is a theme and things kinda happen til they find themselves falling into bed together and as Jaskier straddles Geralt's hips to ride him, Geralt finally says Jaskier's name and starts reaching up, softly asking him to take off his mask

Jaskier says no because taking it off will make things real and he's worried it'll ruin everything but Geralt just assures him it's already real and it won't ruin anything, that he's wanted him for so long, beyond just a roll in the hay

OBSESSED WITH THIS........

"no," he croaks, hands flying to his mask, "i cant. because... because then it'll be real." and if it's real, it would change everything, and what if geralt doesnt want him? what if this is just meant to be a one night stand? if its their personas, he can treasure the memory while still pretending, still going back to normal when it's all done. but...

"it's okay," geralt says, places a hand on his to gently push it away. "i want it to be real."

[jask-jaskier-jaskiest]

May I have an AU where Jaskier is just literally an alien. Like he hides his alien body in a human suit and does his best to understand humans and he loooooves human culture but everything he does is just not quite right you know (a little bit too much to the left). He also knows a lot of stuff about space and can talk about it during hours and it’s very complicated but like what the heck is money

[all-hail-the-witcher]

witcher as characters in john mulaney specials

-jaskier: joasiah, the man who proposed building a gazebo during the middle of the civil war

-stregobor: the “expert” on horses in hospitals who once saw a bird in the airport

-tissaia: the principal who wanted to talk about what happened yesterday 

-valdo marx: the kid at the sleepover who says you watched beetlejuice last night because “its tomorrow now”

-tavern owner 673: detective who wants to mop up a pool of the killers blood

-lil bleater: petunia sitting in the stroller breathing like chris christie when people lean in to see the baby because “shes sick”

-roach: the operator, who is a real person that you have to be nice to, putting the wires in holes to move the voices around, because it is the 40s

-lambert: the guy who calls his friend asking is he wants to get very dressed up (including hats!), and wave to a cruise ship as it leaves the port

-yennefer: the lady standing by the laser printers because her husband is being an idiot trying to please everyone by buying an hdmi cable and asking about a best buy rewards card

-vesemir: dads in church shoving away the jackets to look for the pamphlet and singing loudly to get their kids to sing

-mousesack: the guy on snl announcing “salt. and pEPPAHHHHHH”

-the sorceresses of the lodge: a group of people deciding to order fries as a little ~adventure~

-blaviken: delta airlines, delaying a flight, giving a meal voucher that doesnt work, taking off without a passenger, and framing someone for murder

-renfri: the kid who stole old antique photographs from house parties in high school because its the one thing you can't replace

-the dude who's wagon geralt ends up in at the end of ep 8: the nurse at the clinic with far too much energy who had a batman sticker on his stethoscope who says “pshhh you’re not gonna faint!”

-fringilla: the friend who said to go to the clinic for a regular visit and then get a xanax prescription by saying that you get nervous on airplanes

-that mayor of the town in ep 5: the dude running around taking milk from cows and then leaving because theres no proof of purchase

-all the people at pavettas betrothal party when duny comes in: the alterboy at the wedding who says “awwww shes ugly!”

-triss: the dog trainer who walked in like she was doing a paranormal investigation and said “you need to show dominance over your puppy!”

-aiden: the real estate agent who takes her clients to a house with no toilets, suggested an on fire garbage can could be a nursery and didnt like paved back yards for the imaginary kids

-ciri: the kid getting partial credit in college for saying “i think emily dickinson is a lesbian!” 

-geralt’s mother: the lady in the supermarket who says “nooooo!” when kids walk in to her store

-eskel: the people at plymouth chrysler who can give your minivan a belt by putting a saucy strip of wood around it

-dara: the kid who had a bra planted in his sweatshirt by cirque du soleil and then immediately wanted to die of embarrassment

-pavetta: the lady who had a phone call that consisted only of “hello? HUSH”

-the doppler: the bad guy in the film who holds a joint in a way that no one ever holds a joint

-istredd: bill clinton standing outside the library asking to walk people home

-calanthe: the lady on the street who gives the advice of “eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs”

-chireadan: john mulaneys mom melting when bill clinton said hi to her in the middle of a ballroom in chicago after she pushed back a whole bunch of secret service

-geralt: john mulaneys dad reading angry under one light like “mmmahhh” and saying that “you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair”

[freudensteins-monster]

Remember that post about the woman who promised her first born child to two different witches, and then the two witches ended up having to coparent the kid and fell in love?

Well how about a younger Pavetta seeks out the powerful freelance sorceress Yennifer for help dealing with a horrible man in her life (cruel father, sleazy noble...) And for payment Yennifer demands her first born child. Pavetta, not with Duny yet/not thinking about children at that time/plain desperate, agrees.

Flash forward x years, Geralt saves Duny and claims the law of surprise, which is quickly revealed to be Pavetta's first born child.

In this djinn free au, Yennifer and Geralt aren't bound by a wish but a child. Yennifer desperately wants to be a good mother, Geralt doesnt want anything to do with destiny but can't escape his role as the child's father - they hate each other but are both very much in over their heads. Thank goodness for Jaskier, who acts as their mediator and, as the only one of them who's had any real dealings with children this century, babysitter extraordinaire.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Ground Rules

Geralt lays down the law with the help of yennefer after catching the reader haveing a bit of me time in the bath.

Masterlist

Ok this took all day as i couldnt stop tweaking it and i got to the point iv just got to step back and throw it out there or im gonna scream.Any way this is to go along with pastry negotiations its based after that one so could be considered part two? can be read stand alone tho in all honesty these modern reader inserts are gonna jump about in timeline cos my plot bunnys are twats. Im basing my Ciri on a mix of mature netflix Ciri and slightly mischievous witcher 3 Ciri. Any way i hope you enjoy this one im pretty pleased with it xx 

WARNING: Adult Themes, Smut, DubCon Swearing MxFxF 18+

Dont like it dont read it.

Geralt snaps when you take matters into your own hands.

The Ground Rules

"Well someone is excited" Jaskier drolled as he watched your form slowly creating distance between you as you marched ahead.

As the small rickety town came into veiw you cried out a victorious and dramatic "still alive" causing eye rolls and chuckles in the group. Honestly this was the first real town you'd come to since being here and you were thrilled. Sure you'd passed a tiny smattering of houses four or so days ago where you'd traded for some bread, tiny amount of dried meat and a few other essentials oh! and yenn had managed to replace your pastry to the amusment of the resident witcher. They'd both been more open with you since the whole pastry incident-which you thought was an off handed comment on yennefers part but she and geralt had since indicated otherwise.

The people in the village had mentioned of a near by town that was rumoured to have a contract out on a nest of some monster thingamajigs that you hadn't botherd to remeber the name of .You looked down the verge towards the town with immediate thoughts of eat, bathe and sleep- on a bed, a real fucking bed ,ok so it wont be a temper mattress but you could live with that-oh my fucking god hot water,a nice loooong soak you moaned in your throat the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. You walked ahead trying to usher the group.

And maybe you could have your own room. Honestly sharing a bed with the couple was becoming an issue for you,your crush on them was definatly getting out of control now constantly blushing under their heated glances and they are becoming more touchy feely, Hands lingering longer than nesscasary or leaning in so close so thier breath tickled the hairs on your neck basically doing anything to get you flustered and you swear to god yesterday yennefer copped a feel whilst helping you threw a small steam which you didn't need help with;not that she listened. Bottom line you were becoming sexualy frustrated pretty much staying in a constant state of arousal a night away from them to take care of business would be very much appreciated. 

"Come ooooonnnn guys keep up" you turned looking back at them drawing out your whine befor resuming towards the town

"Someone should catch up with her she looks like a girl on a mission" Yennefer commented 

"Yes. Ciri would you keep her near the main gate and out of trouble while we settle roach in the stables ,here take her this she should cover up befor anyone gets any ideas" geralt grunted as your form began to dissapear down the brow of the hill ,ciri looked between the two before shrugging grabbing his offered cloak then ran to catch up with you.

You glanced to the side as you heard footsteps noticing Ciri fall in step with you she held out his cloak.

"Here geralt said to cover up before people get any ideas" you sighed it wasnt your fault his shirt hung off of you showing a large amount of shoulder and chest luckily when the hoover portal of doom sucked you in you were in fleece lined black leggings that had been durable enough to survive the last 3 weeks on the road(your stitch t shirt hadn't survived your initial fall) because you doubt he'd have anything your hips would get in to. Rolling your eyes you pulled the heavy fabric across your shoulders repostioning it so that it wasnt draging on the floor to much but was still sheilding your body. 

"He's such a dad" Ciri giggled nodding in agreement befor reciting what esle geralt had requested ordered. You scoffed shaking your head

"So he doesnt even trust me to walk through a town, he does realise im an adult right? That i can do things with out causing trouble. i mean for god sake im not jaskier" she snorted 

"I think its more like he doesnt want other men trying to sleep with you" you did a double take 

"The hell you know about that sort of shit? has Jaskier been corrupting you?"

 A knowing smirk crossed her face as she held her hands up coming to a halt facing you just inside the wooden gates of the town.

"You think i havent noticed whats going on by myself, Geralt likes you so does yenn jaskiers noticed to, think he's going to write a song" 

"He better bloody not and anyway maybe i want to find a companion for the night." You announced tersely crossing your arms only to freeze as you heard a growl from behind you.

"Oh yes, i may have forgot to mention that witchers are senses are really sensetive" she smiled sweetly, you gaped why were you only being told this now. Looking between her and the others approaching.

"Wh-what how the fuck you leave that out? d-do you think he heard us? from back there" She nodded 

"Most definitely" you gulped feeling yourself shrink into Geralts cloak a little at the looks you received from Geralt and Yennefer as he spoke to her telling her what youd just said.oh fuck.

"when you say senses you mean all of 'em? Not just one or two?" hoping beyond hope that something had been lost in translation.

"Nope all of them sight, smell, hearing the whole lot" she replied watching the colour drain from your horror sticken face. You'd been getting wet over the past few days. And the realisation that he probably knew embarrassed the shit out of you. Geralt smirked obviously he heard.You were so fucked.he knew and if he knew then she knew.oh my god. You were sooo fucked.'whelp there goes my dignity' you thought. He strode past you to the mediocre stables with roach in toe ready to hitch her for the night.Jaskier and yenn followed pulling some of the bags off of the horse then passing them out to their respective owners. Geralt then stood before you all giving you all the 'game plan' as you call it.

"we will find an inn and eat after that you get settled in for the night whist i see about this contract."

"don't bother about me tonight im going to catch myself a young fair maiden for the night" you scoffed at Jaskier's announcement drawing his attention

"Sounding like a creeper there Jask, what? you gonna do throw a net in the tavern? don't think they'd take to kindly to that" he huffed through his nose aggravated. 

"No im going to sing in the tavern and lure a beauty to my side for the night" you played along widening your eyes in false realization

"oohh so your gonna go pay for it, how does it work exactly is it by hour or-" Geralt quickly intervened covering your mouth one to stop the inevitable spat and two before you could corrupt Ciri any further Jaskier deadpanned giving you a flat look.

"you're welcome to come find out for yourself im sure your just Itching  to get some relief-"

"JASKIER! you go ahead at least try to keep a bit of coin back this time" Jaskier 1 Y/n 0.

You glowered behind Geralt's hand as he dismissed the smirking bard who turned on his heel prancing off quite pleased with himself. You smacked Geralt's hand away wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before slowly making your way down the street into town.It had taken nearly half an hour to find a decent inn that had room for the four of you. A room with two double beds that had a heavy curtain to split the room into two it was usually rented by traveling families. You groaned as you walked in, now you really couldn't take care of business, you followed Ciri as she placed her bag on the bed on the left following suit you placed yours on the other half of it only to have Yennefer quickly relocated it to her side of the other bed. Ciri snorted giving you a knowing look.you sighed then stomped across the room. Knowing all to well that it was futile to argue with the sorceress ,the witcher was stubborn but she was something else. Geralt handed a small pouch of coin to Yennefer.

"This is for the new clothes Ciri needs a thicker cloak preferably fur lined maybe new boots to not sure how long those will last in the mountains." yennefer hummed as she pocketed the money. 

"And the clothes for Y/n as well?" 

"Yes, should be enough there for what we discussed if not i'v got a bit more saved" you raised your brows blinking at them.

"err what was discussed? guys? what did you talk about? was it about me? helloooo" you waved as they ignored you.Yennefer pulled off her cloak leaving it on her side of the bed. you and Ciri followed their lead only for Geralt the tug yours back across you giving a sharp look as you rolled your eyes.The group made its way down into the quiet main room of the family run inn where you were served a meal of roast beef with vegetable trimmings ,before you knew it Geralt had left to find out about the contract with a final 'Behave' thrown in your direction.To which you grunted in response,too full to even tell him to 'jog on' - a phrase that still frustrated the witcher as he didn't know the meaning-. Yennefer had asked for a bath before your meal which you were just informed was ready leaving you alone with the sorceress. You had all decided Ciri would have the bath first then you, yennefer and finally geralt if he was back before it got cold.

"I cant breath" yennefer laughed out loud you rubbed your tummy closing your eyes

"I mean honestly, I think theres food in my lungs" groaning leaning back against the chair she gave a sympathetic smile

"Well you did inhale your food, maybe next time take it easy."

"Can you blame me, been the first meat iv recognized since i got here" It was true so far you'd been living on meats that you wouldn't have necessarily chose to eat back home rabbit,mutton venison ect.

"After we've bathed we will rest for the day but tomorrow we have to run over to the seamstress and get your new clothes, not sure how long we will be here and might have to order some or have them taken up,you are a little thing.Might have to have some leather work done too." you squinted pointing an accusing finger at her

"You calling me a midget? we going for shots now are we?" she smiled sheepishly

"No .no shots?. i just meant your petite don't worry its very cute. Anyway we are only picking up the basics a few day dresses ,Riding clothes boots that sort of thing" you blinked owlishly flushing as she called you cute. 

"Riding clothes yes. Dresses no thank you" she stared unblinking at you for a few moments making you squirm at the calm expectant gaze that was getting heavier by the second, it was like the eyes of a mother when you'd been caught doing some dumb shit you knew you shouldn't be doing.

"Stop it....Yenn no... cant i just get something like Geralt has..please... i'd be much more comfortable...even Jaskier i mean im not one for the puffy bits but 'd make do....."

she blinked slowly

"Oh fine but only one or two no more and your not getting rid of these leggings either" you gave in, her gaze was to unnerving and it did things to you. Her face lit up. She was looking forward to seeing you in feminine gown instead of a her and Geralt's shirts not that she minded but it'd be a nice change to your strange stetchy leggings (not that she minded you in the form fitting bottoms) She moved leaning in to your side hand on your thigh patting it lightly.

"Thank you, don't be so worried i will take good care of everything" you gulped as you felt the flushed skin of your face grow hotter,your core clenching and warming at her sultry reply you closed your eyes trying to regain a bit of control. Suddenly her attention was drawn to a pink skinned Ciri who had finished her bath and changed Yenn nodded and released your thigh. You bolted upstairs hearing a chuckle as you did.

Once in the room you sighed in relief, making your way towards the screened off section that held a large oval tub full of steaming water. Discarding your clothes as you all but melted into the hot water.You submerged yourself getting your hair wet scratching tentatively at your scalp that had begun to ache under the grime. Spotting a small stool with what you'd consider toiletries, a bar of hard sweet smelling soap and a few vials.You grabbed the soap, opting for using it for your hair as well unsure what vials did what and went where.After scrubbing all the built up sweat and dirt you you closed your eyes lounging back against the slanted end tub you relaxed a few moments it wasn't long before you were feeling much better ,tired muscles succumbing to the soothing hot water.your body hummed. 'no one would have to know' as your summarized that this was the perfect opportunity to relieve yourself of other tensions, 

'its not like geralt could smell you under water, i mean i dont think dogs can thats why criminals cross rivers when their being hunted on tv isn't it?' biting your lip you peaked an eye open and listened out carefully feeling naughty when you began moving your hand to the apex of your thighs gasping as your finger ghosted over your hardened bundle of nerves .Fuck. Your clit was sensitive not surprising when Geralt and Yennefer had practically edged you for nearly a week. You whined quietly as you began a fast rhythm on your clit ,other hand slinking down to your opening rubbing your fingers up and down the warm weeping hole. You bit off a groan as your hips gyrated against your roaming hands. Stomach tensing as you drove yourself faster and faster to the edge.Almost there.Fuck almost-you jumped hissing 'shit' ,ripping your hands away from yourself , sitting up fast enough to make your head spin splashing a wave of water over the floor when you heard the door open slamming the wall beside it.

"err theres some one in here!" you called out loudly, angry at who ever just interrupted you.You got nervous as the heavy steps quickly made their way towards you.Realizing who ever it was didn't care for your modesty as they were coming your way you slung your top half out of the tub to grasp the towel screaming because before you could grasp it and cover yourself a large calloused hand enveloped your shoulder shoving you back into the water.

"WH-GERALT THE FUCK? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME." you shouted at him as he released you then you looked down slapping your hands down to cover your self as he raised his eyebrows and gave a lop sided grin.He defiantly looked like the big bad wolf in that moment eyes ablaze with a hunger you wasn't sure you wanted to explore or not. Collecting yourself swallowing dryly before scolding him in a voice that seemed to become smaller with each word.

"hey! get the fuck out im trying to bathe you prick" you heard the door open and close again in a less violent fashion. And suprize suprize yennefer glided into view behind the .

"Thats not all you were doing tho was it? i can fucking smell you" was growled at you as geralt wet his lips you squeaked. 

"huh? b-but.. i thought..w-water" you stuttered out as your brain malfunctioned on on an epic scale. Yennefer gave out a loud laugh.

"so thats why he tore threw the inn like that.honestly Geralt i thought something was wrong" she continued laughing as she replayed the way geralt had all but vaulted the tables to get to the stairs. you pouted throughly humiliated

"something is wrong" he ground out before kneeling beside you .Shifting you tired to create some distance from him. He was having none of that wasting no time thrusting his hands into the water tugging away your shielding hand the other forcing its way between your legs. You slammed back against the tub gasping trying to get away. All you'd achieved was his hand pinning your hips to the back of the bath by your pussy

"GERALT WHA-"  

"Lets lay down some ground rules" He squeezed your throbbing heat in his hand curling his fingers dangerously close to your opening you bucked moaning breathlessly .Your eyes searched Yennefer's for help but she wore a similar hungry look that he had. Another slow squeeze brought your attention back to the brooding alpha male in the room.

"This is ours.ours to lick,suck and fuck as we see fit, to do what we please with and is off limits to your wandering little hands we clear on that?" You groaned out as he emphasized certain words with teasing brushes of fingers and a slow rub of his palm. Realizing that he might actually be serious.You nodded quickly babbling as he rocked his hand back and forth igniting the heat that you had built alone.

"C-crystal-please Geralt PLease" You threw your head back as his hand moved deliberate and teasing.

"You think you deserve it? after being caught up here playing with yourself?" You nodded then shook your head confused, unable to really concentrate on anything apart from his magnificent hand ,half lidded eyes and clenching your fingers tight around the thumb he was using it to control your movements as your body whithered under his ministrations.

"Really?" He said smirking as he held completely still you sucked through your teeth biting back curses.He chuckled smug bastard. moving trying to get some friction to no avail.

"Well we have been teasing the poor thing ,of course shes going to try sorting herself out the first chance she gets .Honestly Geralt what did you expect? i did tell you" yennefer reasoned as she stood behind you combing threw your wet hair you before grasping your free hand pulling it up out of the way kissing your palm before ghosting her nose down your neck pressing soft kisses along it you mewled at her and tried to coax geralt to continue again by rolling your hips.

"I suppose we could let her off this time" His voice was pure sex as he glanced down before giving into pushing two thick fingers up into you. his breach of your walls had an initial sting but was incredible as your needy walls tried sucking him deeper greedy to be filled.

"oh-oh fuck Ger-please" you arched your back pushing down onto his hand clutching onto Yennefer's wrist. you were so hot .fuck.he was gonna make you cum too quick. You panted throwing your head side to side as your legs tensed then raised up towards your torso, your pussy wrapped tight around Geralts fingers as he held them deep every few thrusts making you feel just how your walls rippled around him. he alternated between fast and shallow then slow and deep trying to build you up slowly he wasn't going to rush you, he was skilled enough to walk you up to the edge and throw you off whenever he damn well pleased. You'd never been this desperate in your life . Yenn's cool fingers delicately teased out your nipples pinching and flicking them until they stood out provocatively. You rocked against the both of them as Geralt made sure to start dragging your clit up and down with his palm as he finger fucked you curling his fingers searching for that small spot that'd send your mind reeling. Yenn had leaned down kissing your cheek and begun whispering lowly into your ear.

"He knows what he's doing doesn't he?Iit wont take him long to find every single spot you have, thats the thing with bedding a witcher they are much more observant then regular men. I have no doubt he will know when your going to orgasm before you do.He has the ability to force them out of nowhere when ever he pleases.. He is quite cruel like that" you moaned out loud snapping your head back high pitched and vulgar sounds tore from your throat as Geralts invading fingers began rubbing furiously back and forth on a soft spot inside of you.Unable to control yourself as your legs and tummy spasmed erratically as your tearfull moans and pleas filled the room

"Thats it oh i think iv found it~" he boasted as he moved his elbow pinning a knee to the side of the tub leaving your clit cruelly exposed for Yennefer,they shared a look as she moved her hand down to join Geralts taking over to rub small firm circles on your exposed clit.

"oh-OH fuck noNOno i cant please i ca-UGh to-Too much please FUCK" Yennefer was quick to swallow your moans in a kiss of clashing teeth and tongues before any one could hear ,tears streamed down your face as your body ached your pussy contracting painfully around his swiping digits. Pulling back for air the sorceress placed open mouthed kisses over your shoulders leaving red marks with her teeth and sucking bites.

"Good girl your being sooo good you don't have to ask this time" she praised as she reached your ear befor sucking harshly below your jaw. you were quickly becoming putty in their hands Geralt growled as he picked up the begining tremors of your orgasm.

"Look at me" you obeyed instantly moaning as you watched the white wolf pull his lip up in a snarl that would have scared you any other time.

"This is what you were made for, your ours, we own you, mind body and soul we own every whimper ,every tear ,every orgasm and hole they are ours for the taking when ever we choose,from now only ecstasy you will know is what we give you" You'd never have guessed how filthy his mouth could be but it seemed to have the desired effect as a sudden rush of heat was your only warning before rearing up screaming out, not sure if you'd shut your eyes or blacked out for a moment as you gushed into the bath water.Geralt pressed into you persistent while Yennefer's hand continued the tight circles efficiently drawing out the best orgasm your ever had.Finally their movements ceased and your body went limp wracked trembling in the aftermath as your orgasm ebbed away slowly. After giving you a few moments to come down and catch your breath Geralt removed his fingers you whimpered inside's still so sensitive after your orgasm, sucking on them he moaned deep and feral before plucking your clenched fingers off his thumb. Yennefer quickly wiped your pussy gently clearing the cum from between your swollen lips. Making you twitched as the cloth ran over you.Pulling you from the bath was a joint effort as they rested you on the bed and began patting you dry with the towel.Moaning in protest as your arms waved loosely trying to take over only having your hand smacked away as they finished.Lying back looking up at them bleary eyed trying to stay awake you felt like jelly, giving up fighting you rolled over yawning tucking your arms below your head Yennefer tilted her head stroking your hair sending you into a relaxed sleep.

"Poor dear ,Oh look at her geralt shes all fucked out and we haven't even fucked her yet" 

"hmm she'll be ok we just need to work on her stamina" he replied patting your bottom as he pulled the cover over your washed out form.Geralt panicked

"Shit wheres Ciri?"

"well when you came charging in down stairs i told her to go find Jaskier and stay there until one of us came to get her" Yennefer said with a sly grin he shook his head and scooped her up kissing her passionately. As he took a few steps to the now vacant bath

"well the bath is still warm care to join me?"

"with pleasure lets try not to wake her tho"

.

See you soon xxx

[starlightfaltershere]

Geraskier - android Jaskier

@sirencipher and I came up with something wonderful today and thought we gotta share. (they're wonderful ya’ll please give them all your love)

- a post-apocalypse AU, in which jasiker dies. Geralt, heartbroken, and unable to tell their family and friends that Jaskier had passed; builds a droid Jaskier out of desperation (and desolation.)  ‘no one can take the anguish of losing anyone else’ he thinks. ‘but, they can assume this is the real Jaskier.’ Geralt, employing magic, pulls Jaskiers memories from his physical form, and stores them into the droid Jaskier. and for all the droid Jaskier knows, they’re real, alive. 

- it’s a profoundly morbid creation, a hollow thing, ‘but it keeps Jaskiers memory alive’. and for now, that’s enough for Geralt. 

- Geralt covers up that the droid is not real, just until everyone is ready to lose Jaskier he reflects, just a ‘little while’. 

- and droid Jaskier cannot die on Geralt, which offers some consolation. 

- but looking at them makes him feel as if he has betrayed original Jaskier, but somehow he can’t let it go.

- in some moments, it’s easy to forget they aren’t the real Jaskier. he always fails in the times the droid is with other people, they look so real. but droid Jaskier isn’t the same when they are alone; it’s like having Jaskier there, but any time Geralt moves to touch, he dissolves into dandelion fuzz. Geralt could program how Jaskier felt about anybody else. but, Jaskier had never confided how he truly felt about Geralt. “Jaskier had tried as he laid dying, but the bullet had gone straight into his throat. the sole thing that graced his lips was blood and ocean waves.” the part of Jaskier he needs desperately is missing. was rinsed away in the sea’s salt.

-  Geralt had used as many of the memories he could pluck from Jaskier. but himself and the droid could not work out how the memories had threaded together to make up Jaskier. Jasker had always confounded the Witcher, now Geralt desperately wished he had made more of an effort to understand the man.  he’ll never wholly know now, with Jaskier - his Jaskier, his lark - changing into the larkspur flowers he adored so much in a small unmarked grave Geralt had dug him. 

- but Geralt fears that if he dies before he can admit to everybody about Jaskiers death, Jaskier grave will be lost to everyone. he’ll be forgotten. but he cannot risk putting a name to the unmarked grave, he can’t risk everyone finding out.

- ‘but when is their ever a right time to reveal to everyone of the crime he committed out of his own desperation?’

- he doesn’t know, so he vows to himself he will confess to them when he’s moved on. but it’s inconceivable, because everyday he wakes to almost Jaskiers face; it’s almost like the oil paintings in the museum’s Jaskier used to drag him too before the war. all the portraits of beautiful individuals, those individuals who were created perfect by other people. Jaskier was born perfect, and Geralt replication of him has far too many imperfections. it was all wrong.

- the droid stays for a long time. too long. 

- Geralt realises this was a terrible, terrible mistake. a lapse in his judgement - Jaskier caused a lot of those for him -but Geralt knew better. 

- one day he will shut the android down; Jaskier will die a second time. kill the ghost of his love, and that will weigh on his conscience until he’s back again with Jaskier. maybe even after that. 

- he questions why he really did this, did he honestly do this to save Ciri from losing another parent? no. it was a pitiful excuse for being selfish, this is the time Geralt had chosen to be selfish? he just could’nt handle remaining in a world where all his love could do is die. love is now a spear of larkspur, will someone rob him of that too? 

Geralt is pissed at himself for the situation he got himself into. how will he explain the droids death? its disappearance without hurting everyone? without hurting Ciri?

-he’s on a bed of knives, and any move will hurt himself and everyone else. he’s fucked himself. and he knows real Jaskier would be equally pissed as we as find the whole predicament hilarious.

- he can hear Jaskiers response just thinking of it.  “come on Geralt, what we’re thinking? that’s right, you weren’t thinking at all.”

- and perhaps the worse of all, he’s hurt the last remnants of the bard. he’s done a great evil against the android. lying to him about who he is and telling him will burst their mechanical heart. if they have one

- Geralt has gotten himself into a house of mirrors, not matter where he swings it’s going to hurt. he will not escape with no guilt. but it must end, maybe even soon. 'but not today’ he thinks.

- at some point, he finds himself sitting in Jaskiers room, surrounded by the parts of the real Jaskier that were left behind. Geralt had taken up caring for Jaskiers things. the droid couldn’t manage such a task. and they need to keep up appearances. 

- you see, real Jaskier is a fiddler, a tinker. he always had something in his hands. it’s one thing Geralt missed most. he always found broken lute strings tied in shapes and pulled apart pens and things around the house. he was constantly doing something. but all the android can do is hold them. blink at them slowly. they have no recollection of what to do with them.

- so Geralt decides that the droid will never see or touch another thing made by Jaskier hands. 

- the droid can’t even create any new songs, none that sound right. the soul just isn’t there. Geralt wonders why no one has noticed how pale the world is now. there are so many things amiss with android Jaskier. his eyes are the wrong shade of blue. his hair is wrong. passable. but wrong, and no matter how hard Geralt tried he couldn’t replicate Jaskiers smile. and worse, Jaskier sing-song voice. it seemed as if Geralt had hacked the soul from Jaskier. 

- a big part of him is furious that no one has realised the ruse, but they think Jaskier is just under the weather, maybe even heartbroken for the loss of the old world.

-but how could they imagine Geralt doing such a thing like building a fake Jaskier? great isn’t a liar. never. he was renowned for being ruthlessly honest. no one would think him capable of such a thing. but they forget he’s good at pretending. he did it around Jaskier for a long time. everyone. 

- Geralt eventually has a break down over android Jaskier not being enough, about what a piss poor copy he made of the man. Geralt questions if he even really knew the bard.

- he didn’t. and it will torment him until he dies. so he looks through Jaskiers notebooks, in hopes to touch some unexplored part of him. he finds songs, notes of Jaskiers thoughts

- he finally cries. 

- he cries when he sees Jaskiers drawings. he didn’t know the bard could draw. Geralt finds lots of doodles and pictures of him mingled amongst love songs and stories of Geralts heroism. 

- there are unsent love letters, years worths of them. unsent letters addressed to Geralt are tucked amongst the pages. some are sealed, ready to send. others not even finished. Geralt wants to read them, truly. but is it right for him to read them? Jaskier isn’t here to say no and none of this really matters. it doesn’t matter, he’s already surpassed considering morality. so he reads them. 

- It’s all too painful, and the realisation has been a creeping thing, and it hits him like a freight train. And here he is, sitting in the ashes of a man’s life, responsible for a fraudulent version of him.

 And Geralt decides then and there to get rid of the android. But it won’t be easy now, is it? it’s been weeks, months? And there’s so much he must explain. Even to the android. He may not be Jaskier. But he still wears his face.

- but he has to. so like every other night, he helps the droid to bed. but this one will be different. Geralt can’t help but take the droids to face in his hands - cradle Jaskiers face in his hands for the first and last time. and tell them the truth.

- the droid cannot cry, but if they could he know it would be. Geralt tells them he’s so fucking sorry. love - love makes you do stupid things. horrible things. but it won’t hurt, he swears, it’s just like going to sleep, you’ve gone to sleep so many times

-  Geralt slowly raises the droids shirt. pries its chest open - where Jaskiers heart should be. ha, Geralt thinks, this is not the first time he’s ripped Jaskiers heart open, he’s read the bards poems, songs, about how the Witchers hands had dug into jaskiers soul and tore it into two. but this isn’t Jaskier. with tears, Geralt pulls out wires and wheels that made up the droids heart. 

- the droid leaves him with the image of Jaskiers face permanently frozen half afraid, half sad look. not too much different from how the real Jaskier looked. just lacked the sea water and blood.

- Geralt catches the droid as it fell. something he wished he could have done for Jaskier. he sets them on the bed. makes it look as if Jaskier had passed peacefully. for his own sake and for their families sake. it’s what he deserved. 

I no one really asked what happened. a great many of the things could have happened. Jaskier finally gets a funeral. one he deserves. but Geralt asks to bury him alone. he dismantles the droid. and marks Jaskiers grave; it lays facing the ocean. 

[roughentumble]

fuck wait now I'm thinking about Geralt getting a contract for a ghost or something and it's the ghost of another witcher bc "witchers don't retire" and the ghost is just this twisted mess of anger and pain and misery bc even in death this poor witcher can't rest, is still trying to protect people

it leaves both Geralt and Jaskier extremely shaken bc what if that happens to Geralt?

!!!!!!!

RIGHT OH MY GOD

[roughentumble]

had a dream that renfri was somehow alive and was helping jaskier as a spy, like she used her status as a person who everyone knows is dead to be a ghost for their spy network, but during one of their rendezvous geralt sees her. of course, geralt is stricken, chases after her, but he cant catch her before she vanishes. jaskier cant compromise her, so he lies... but specifically in his panic, he says that he didnt see /anyone/ there at all. geralt trusts him... geralt thinks he has started hallucinating renfri. though, he's conflicted-- he was so sure of what he saw...

it happens a few more times, and each time jaskier falls back on the same lie. then, something happens-- renfri is injured somehow i think, they seemed to not have anywhere else to go? they're in kaer morhen's infirmary. when geralt first sees her, he has to reach out and grab eskel's arm, eyes locked onto where she sits, and ask "is this real?" because he isnt sure if she's actually sitting there, or if his "hallucinations" have gotten that bad.

jaskier tries to lay a hand on his shoulder, to comfort, to explain, but geralt wont let jaskier touch him. and when geralt goes in to talk to her, when halfway through he starts to panic just from the sheer stress of so much in one day, he still wont let jaskier near. literally throws up quen to keep him away, only dropping it when eskel steps between them to calm geralt instead.

when geralt leaves the room and jaskier confronts him, he tries to explain about his spywork and compromising her and all that, but geralt just... doesnt care. he refuses to listen, or see any other perspective about it

from geralt's perspective, not only did he hide /renfri/ from geralt, and therefore geralt's chance to understand and to confront one of the most pivotal moments of grief in his life, but he made geralt feel like he was crazy. he took away geralt's faith in his senses, one of the absolute only things a witcher truly owns in his life. the one thing a witcher must be able to trust above all else. and he used geralt's trust to take it away.

geralt's response is, essentially, we are broken. there's no fixing this. and i dont care why you did it. you can both stay the winter, and we'll take care of renfri, but dont speak to me, dont touch me, and when the pass clears you're walking down on your own.

and jaskier, who had been stuck between two impossible decisions, who hadnt wanted to put renfri or the network in danger, realizes that in the process he's broken something he didnt realize was breakable.

[roughentumble]

I'm almost afraid to ask...

What are your werewolf au ideas?

GSHBDKSND oh its not horny or anything its just like. kind of angsty, but like, in that way where sometimes angsty daydreams are fun, you know?? like

ok its like a geraskier thing cuz im a one trick pony, but basically geralt gets cursed, three nights a month he goes all wolfy. he's an intelligent werewolf with pretty great self control, BUT he's like, ridiculously worried that he's gonna snap and hurt people. (he's not, but, you know, he's had to put down werewolves for that before, and he's not a man with a lot of faith in himself, So.)

uhhhh i cant remember how jaskier finds out tbqh, but after traveling together a while, it comes to light, and jaskier is of course very "its just you, im not scared, and im not judging you." they hang out, they figure things out, and geralt starts to relax.

so all the time he's been cursed, he hasnt gone back to kaer morhen-- its only been a year or two, but still. he feels like they'd know right away, he's worried they'd just put him down, he doesnt think they should get used to "monsters in the keep", he just feels Real Bad about it, but jaskier convinces him that this is his family, they'd understand, and they must miss him.

geralt agrees, eventually, goes up to kaer morhen with jaskier in tow.

but once they get there, he just... totally refuses to explain anything. none of the other witchers have sussed out that something's wrong(other than jaskier's hushed whispering about how geralt should "just tell them, they'd understand")

geralt's genius solution is, he'll just sleep outside three nights a month, he'll bring blankets and his fur will protect him. jaskier doesnt like it, but he's not about to tell geralt's secret, and he cant bodily drag a werewolf inside, so. his only condition is that he gets to sit outside with geralt for a bit, cuddle with him n' such. their excuse is that theyre gross love birds who are going out for moonlight picnics. everyone buys this, partially because its sort of true, partially cuz no one wants to walk in(or out) on them fucking.

it actually works the first trio of nights, to jaskier's surprise, but the 4th night they try they arent so lucky-- they forget something inside(a bottle of wine, a blanket, who knows) and eskel is like "i'll fall on my sword, be the one to bring it out to the happy couple". he steps outside, and what does he see?

a gigantic werewolf pinning jaskier to the ground.

bit of a frenzy after that, eskel attacking and shouting for backup, trying to keep the werewolf in sight while also looking for geralt, getting between the monster and jaskier while jaskier shouts-- eventually jaskier gets through to him though. thats geralt, dont hurt him, its geralt.

geralt isnt saying anything though(despite the fact he's perfectly capable of it, even transformed), and eskel sortve misunderstands. doesnt really get that this has been a long-term affliction, and assumes this is the first transformation. so with geralt not responding, eskel says "not right now it isnt," and gets his hands on one of the training blades they keep in the courtyard.

more chaos-- everyone's outside now, jaskier is absolutely not having any of it but also three grown witchers versus one bard isnt much of a fight, no one's listening to him, and geralt's just pinning himself against the wall like a prey animal and not saying anything.

jaskier proves just enough of a distraction that geralt manages to hop a wall, takes off into the woods. jaskier is calling after him, while the three remaining witchers each make a gameplan(STILL not listening to jask). after a moment, jaskier darts and weaves and makes it just out of their grasp, so they've got a werewolf AND a bard loose in the woods in the dead of both night and winter, which. Bad.

eskel goes after geralt, vesemir stays behind because they need someone in the keep, and lambert's on bard wrangling duty. lambert doesnt have much trouble finding jaskier, but he does have trouble keeping a hold on him, because he's worried about breaking his tiny human limbs(and also he's wearing a lot of thick layers, which he has no compunctions about ripping to shreds to get out of lambert's grip.) he loses a boot and a sleeve to the ongoing tussle, as he keeps slipping out and darting away. lambert even tries axii, but the biggest trick to getting out of axii is just training a lot to resist it, so geralt and him'd run through that a long time ago, so his response is to go fake-limp, then kick lambert in the dick and run off into the night with one shoe.

lambert is extremely annoyed. its not jaskier's best plan.

he finds the cave that geralt had backed himself into by some miracle, and also because eskel'd made no efforts to hide his tracks and there are currently shouts coming from the cave. jaskier gets himself inbetween the two of them and refuses to budge. geralt's still pulling the silent routine, ears pinned back, looking like a kicked dog, and eskel's trying to coax jaskier away from the "monster".

lambert comes bursting in as well, pissed and sore, but stays near the entrance, the four of them locked in a sort of stalemate. the three of them argue about what to do, but jaskier is shivering because of his wrecked coat. eventually geralt breaks his silence to rumble out a worried "yourrr fingerrrs..."

(werewolves roll their 'r's in tw3. dont ask me why, just go with it.)

eskel and lambert are stunned into silence, and jaskier is immediately turning towards geralt, letting him fret and dote on him. slips his arm inside his jacket so his fingers dont fall off-- lets geralt wrap a giant, warm paw around his foot to get some heat back into it.

lambert's like "wait, so you CAN fucking talk?????"

it all got escalated way out of hand, partially because of eskel's reaction, but also because geralt was too ashamed to stand up for himself-- thought maybe they were a little bit right. was basically just going to curl up and let it happen, which he admits with some gentle prodding, and leaves eskel looking sick.

jaskier, though, is absolutely nuclear levels of pissed, because he was explaining everything, even how he'd known for months, and that geralt was perfectly safe to be around, but all the non werewolf witchers were just tuning him out. and geralt nearly died because of it. so he's, like-- he's unspeakably angry at all three of them.

eventually, they do all four make their way back to the keep(geralt carrying jaskier cuz he's still missing a boot), and explain everything one more time for vesemir. everyone looks pretty ragged, because it was a lot of drama very suddenly late at night.

geralt still hesitates in the doorway of the main hall, says he'll make the keep smell like monsters, that it's dangerous, but jaskier just gently encourages him inside and they curl up together in front of the hearth, nice and warm.

from there its little bits and pieces of geralt showing his werewolfy-er side, like dragging in a deer one night to devour raw by the fire. (he looks bashful about it, but jaskier insists its a part of their routine on the road, helps geralt clean his muzzle afterword.) and jaskier slowly encouraging geralt to relax, come deeper into the keep, curl up in a real bed.

jaskier gets less mad, but never quite gets over the fact that geralt's family proved his fears right. geralt gets less ashamed, but never fully sheds his anxieties about being allowed inside. everyone else gets less tense, but never quite sheds the shame of nearly killing their brother in arms while he was fully cognizant-- or quite comfortable with a "monster in the keep". it's still their first winter, tho, so with any luck things will someday get smoothed out.

[the porny ending is that geralt knots all three of them and this wildly smooths over any remaining tensions, but thats just a little fun off-shoot, not the Official Daydream Ending]

[afterhoursfic]

So in sense8, you can take control over people also in your cluster, so just imagine Eskel getting a glimpse of Jaskier through someone elses eyes and he wants.

Thankfully the other person is a bit weak willed and doesnt stop him from taking control, even as he grabs hold of Jaskier and drags him into an alley. When he pins him up against an alley wall and lowers his pants below the seat of his seat with nothing but spit for lube thats when there's some resistance.

Its easy enough to keep control over the mans mind, he just regrets not actually being there to press him against the wall with his broad chest and truly make hin feel trapped.

He ignores the protests of the man in his head whos body he's using, his mind just focused on getting his cock into Jaskiers ass right fucking now.

Its dirty and quick and good enouvh thats its easy to edge himself into getting hard again, feeling Jaskiers struggles against him get weaker and lets himself get fucked. He's almost sad it has to end, because Jaskiers teary eyes and swollen lips are almost enough to shove him onto his knees to suck his cock. Maybe another time.

And the fact that he can't be caught, that its not his body just adds to the thrill and he's already thinking about doing it again, although the temptation to really do it eats away at him. Well he knows where Jaskier is now, he could just use a few holiday days and pay him a visit for real and actually get to feel that pretty mouth around his cock.

Just a quick aside from the witcher, I don't know if any of you know the show sense8 but thats prime real estate for non-con/mind control/manipulation stuff 👀👀

All Im saying is what if Eskel then had acess to pretty little Jaskier, who screams so pretty under him

[roughentumble]

oh!!! in case anyone was wondering, i did finish that AU that was half-formed as i was falling asleep last night. i dont think anything ever came of it haha-- its basically just misao. not so much in the "little girl gets sexually assaulted and brutally murdered at school" sense, but more like an overarcing "some people enter a haunted building and are locked inside, forced to learn its violent secrets" sort of thing. the ghost-- the "misao"-- in this equation is geralt. he's been missing for a long time, and when they find the house and physically see him as an apparition, that's confirmation on what's become of him.

he's twisted, and violent, and his features look... wrong. innocent people who'd wandered into the house long before any of geralt's friends found it, all lay dead beneath the floorboards. but it is, despite everything, very clearly him.

jaskier is the one who agrees to stay with him(the "aki", if you know the true ending of misao), to abate his loneliness. despite everyone's pleas, he steps forward into geralt's arms, and then the two of them vanish.

it's a bright, sunny day outside. birds chirp. the front door hangs open on its hinges... and jaskier and geralt are gone. their remaining friends take a moment to huddle together and mourn...

and then, miraculously, a few moments later, out of nothing falls geralt and jaskier.

now, what they'd learned along the way, somehow or another, is that the reason geralt is such a strong and dangerous apparition despite not actually being dead that long is because he didnt die normally. he was trying to reason with a mage, it had come to blows, and in his dying moments the mage had been angry. vengeful. "if im to die here, you'll be trapped here too. alone." sort of thing. those feelings, a giant explosion of magic, and the next thing geralt knows he's trapped. not just within the four walls of the building, but he fades in an out, in a sort of... pocket dimension. time passes differently in there, he's been trapped for longer than a few months, or a handful of years, and it's broken him on top of amplifying whatever power he'd have as a specter.

but the two key factors are that he was never actually dead-dead despite what everyone thought, and when jaskier agreed to stay he was no longer actually alone, breaking one of the stipulations of the mage's dying curse.

its obvious, though, despite the brief amount of real time passed, neither is alright. even jaskier shrinks back from the light, clings to geralt wordlessly. it's been far longer for them. (let's say a year for simplicity's sake, but you can make up whatever amount of time works to you.)

that's basically the conclusion, then the epilogue is them healing. jaskier gets better, mostly, but geralt's problems are life-long. it takes a LOT of help, and healing, and magic, to get him anywhere near functioning, and he can't return to the Path. he has a panic attack if he's alone in a room for too long, and he and jaskier are codependant, completely attached at the hip.

to my mind they probably take up residence in oxenfurt. jaskier is offered a position teaching, and even though it's a LOT of people(which is hard for geralt to handle) it's safer than life on the road, and they never have to be apart for any particular reason. geralt sits in with him for his lectures, finds himself comforted by jaskier's voice. no more excitement, or contracts, or daring adventures, but they manage to carve out a life for themselves that's happy enough, make peace with the more painful parts of their past.

im not sure how to make a story of it, or even if i'd want to make a story of it, but it was fun to think about. and you can definitely feel my aversion to major character death, lmao, it'd honestly be simpler to just have them both die, but i do think there's something appealing(for lack of a better word) about there being something so terrible that even the famous white wolf cant come back from it. the isolation was too much, and no matter how much he heals, geralt cant be who he was, but he can become someone who's happy where he is.

of course, there is the supernatural problem-- if you make "passage of time in the void" a direct 1-to-1 to some regular unit of time, then geralt very quickly becomes trapped and tortured with solitude for an unreasonable and frankly goofy amount of time(see dean winchester getting tortured for decades. its not a comprehensible amount of time. that's not a thing a person can endure.) you can either lean into that, and give it the feel of A Ghost Story(numbers arent as important as a proper atmosphere in this case), or you leave the numbers intentionally vague so it doesnt get goofy.

now, you could make an argument for any match-up you like-- instead of jaskier choosing to walk beside him and follow him as he always has, it's yennefer in a clever play on "you've condemned yourself to me". now she's condemning herself to him. or perhaps eskel, two drops of water, it's always been the two of them, and now it will always be just the two of them. lambert, who knows loss and loneliness and agony and decides he cant leave geralt to that fate, even if its reckless to jump into the abyss with him. regis, who's lived a long life and decides the best way to end it is in comforting an old friend. any manner of ship(or gen) works perfectly well-- i choose jaskier because i'm a one trick pony, but i'd honestly read any of these other matches, it all depends on what an author wants to write. and if anyone for some reason feels inspired by my spiel, feel free to write it, as long as you send me a link to the finished product! (and perhaps credit me for inspo? thats not required tho it'd just be nice.)

[oh-for-fic-sake]

It All Worked Out In The End

When the parents are away the kids will play... or fight one of the two.

I am genuinely have a too much fun with these imagines.

Masterlist

Warninngs: Swearing ,Mentions of fighting ,Hinting at Drugging and Rape (nothing explicit)

Jaskier stood befor you in your rented room dunking the bloodied rag into a jug of cool water before wringing it out then lightly dabbing your eye brow and angry claw marks on your face. Ciri stood off to the side apprehensive watching the bard tend to the wound.

"Got her good tho didnt i?" He smirked at that trying so hard to be disappointed in you but he really couldnt. 

"Yes I even won a bit of coin, lets just hope the other two dont come back until this has gone down we can explain the black eye and cut but not the scratches."

"Yeah ... I still have all my teeth tho!" Cheerful in your victory utterly pleased with yourself Ciri shook her head at this then spoke up in disbelief.

"Where did that even come from?" You grinned wincing again as it hurt the bruises that were forming on your cheek and jaw.

"Well my sweet Cirilla a few years of pent up anger can do wonders for your right hook or in my case bitch slap" She snorted relaxing as she saw that you were to all intents and purposes unharmed. She wandered over to the bags on the chair by the bed.

"Wait Jask did you say coin? You put coin down?" Jaskier shrugged in response to your question dipping the rag in to the water again.

"Hey they started taking bets at the bar, I wasnt gonna join in but then looked at you , there was no way you werent gonna put her down ,your face looked a lot like Geralts growley face"  He swiped over your face one last time there was a pregnant pause.

"So you gonna split the coin?"

"Nope" He said popping the p dropping the now pink cloth with a wet slap on the table. Your younger sister from another mister walked back over to you with a small vial. Poppy milk or better known to you as morphine.

"Yennefer left us some poppy milk for emergencies, you should take some now before you really start feeling it.How are we going to keep this from them?" Waving a hand motioning to your damaged face as Jaskier prepaird the medicine. If you were honest you didnt think that far ahead at the time you just needed to ko that Bitch -which you did thank you very much- but you knew what Ciri was getting at Geralt and Yennefer were a couple of mother hens... allbeit slightly more intimidating... and dangerous... and volatile. 

"Not sure we can" You replied nodding greatfully at Jaskier who offered cup of water that held a dose of the pain killer. Knocking it back before pulling faces at the bitter taste.

"Oh god! Ugh no" you shook your head befor quickly eating a cube of cheese from the small platter in front of you. The singer shrugged ignoring your outbust looking between the both of you.

"All i do know is that your going to be in trouble when they do find out" He said in a sing song voice you slumped back in the chair grunting.

"Oh yer how'd you figure its just me in shit Jask" Sputtering he glared at you

"Maybe because your the one who decided to turn savage and attack a whore! You even bit her bit" You tapped a pointing finger on the table

"Ok fisrt things first she hit me first got a strict rule never throw the fisrt punch but allways throw the last and second yeah fair enough i bit her but she was fighting dirty. And you could have pulled me off her, you also placed a bet on me which was encouraging it.If im going down your coming with me." He gaped at you in disbelief.

"What about her she didn't intervene either?" 

"She also didn't bet on me."

"I don't think Geralt himself could have dragged y/n off her" Ciri quipped from the side lines you nodded at her continuing.

"Not only that im pretty sure they left you in charge bard so really when you think about it its all your fault" He pailed as you and Ciri high fived.

"I need to lie down" Wobbling to the bed flopping on it face first.You and Ciri shared a look after a few beats of silence befor being asked the enevitable question 

"So how did it start anyway?" 

"Thats what id like to know" Came from the bed as Jaskier sat up.

"Not really sure she was just running her mouth i geuss" You lied patting her head befor freighning tirednes making your way to the other bed deciding that she never has to know the real reason to you cat fighting with a whore. A few days later after the scratches and swelling had faded the others returned they hastily made their way up to the room. Geralt started speaking as he stormed through the door.

"Can some one explain to me why iv just had to pay for a whores loss of earnings And medical costs?" You balked

"Loss of earnings I knocked out her teeth surely shes making double on blowies" Jaskier snorted into his mug

"What the fuck happened?" Geralt growled out not finding your comment amusing in the slightest as he saw the clawed bruised cheek, blackened eye and cut on your brow he quickly gave Ciri and Jaskier the once over fearing youd all been attacked, relife flooded him when he saw they were ok . Yennefer gasped striding past the seething witcher stopping in front of you placing a soothing hand on you uninjured cheek.

"Who did this?" She whispered you beamed at her nuzzling into her palm.

"Dont worry I dealt with it. Besides I got off lightly you should see my opponent" Ciri nodded in agreement befor breifly explaining.

"Y/n had a fight with a whore, beat her into the ground actually then knocked her out with a single back hander. Was quite immpressive to watch"

"Made a satisfying sound to" Jaskier added Geralt looked between the three of you.

"So Y/n had a cat fight with a whore?" You all nodded

"And did enough damage to not only knock out teeth but keep her out of work for a few days?" The three of you shared a look and nodded the hunter sighed a deep breath crossing him arms.

"Do i want to know what started it?" 

"Probably not" was you offered choosing once again to keep the fact it was for Ciri's sake to yourself, trying to trick you in to selling yourself for a night was one thing but planning to drug and sell Ciri was a completely different ball game. She was family.No one was getting away with that not on your watch its lucky you caught on to the hushed conversation. You dont want to think about what could have happend if you hadnt been paying attention. Geralt threw his hand up looking towards Yennefer when it was clear none of you were going to elaborate any more then that. Aproaching he droped his swords and bag taking Yenns place tilting your face to inspect your wounds.

"Well they didnt do much damage or manage to fracture anything ,even your nose which is good." He leaned in kissing your forhead chasetly. As yenn preceeded to pull you over to where her bag was on the bed with a healing balm in hand stippling it over the cut on your face.

"Fighting a whore honestly, can't leave you alone for a few days with out you getting into trouble. I hope you know your in trouble missy" She muttered as she flitted threw her bag then began fussing over your split knuckles applying a different ointment.

"And the money we had to give her for this whole incident is comming out of your allowance starting today" Geralt grunted from the table Jaskier and Ciri watched in peels of laughter as you tried squirming away from the sorceress pleading with the unimpressed white haired male you continued protesting at Geralt's decision until he pinned you with a stern look that shut you up. Yeah he wasnt a happy camper.

"And your grounded from singing bard" Jaskier stopped laughing 

"What?"

"you were told to take care of them and it doesnt take an idiot to guess why this is considerably heavier you dont make this much from singing alone" he growled out lifting up jaskiers bulging coin pouch .All in all the couple took it better than any of you thought they would, you were relieved they didnt push the issue as if they knew what had kicked it off they probaly would have burnt that whore house to the ground, whores and all... Jaskier did share his winnings tho so it all worked out in the end,Jaskier made a weeks worth of coin in a night, you saved Ciri ,let out some pent up aggression and Geralt didnt have kill anyone.

[roughentumble]

@doyawitchering said my last post was like a harpoon to the chest fkjdfbjk so im gonna write a bit on how things get fixed to hopefully put some salve on the wound

like, of course, jaskier eventually fixes the situation. there are a million routes to reconciliation from there, but lets just say that uhhhh....

they had been sharing a room, but when geralt found out, jaskier was summarily put in the proverbial dog house(more literally, just another. separate room), and after trying to explain(didnt go very well) and giving geralt space(lots and lots of.... he hesitates to call it “moping” because it’s so justified, but if he calls it anything more serious he gets a case of The Sads, so it’s moping), and explaining the whole situation to eskel and lambert(they think he’s so fucking stupid, but lambert is like “as much as i hate this at least something is Happening, so there have at least been more boring winters”, and they agree to help him), jaskier gets a bunch of things together and sets up a table and candles and dinner up in geralt’s room(he’s. kind of been eating dinner alone in there anyway. he’s trying not to think about how sad that is)

geralt walks in, and is immediately like “what the fuck is this”

and jaskier is like “ok so we kind of did this way out of order, and got a lot of things messed up along the way,”

and geralt is like. extremely doesnt want to hear him out, but jaskier explains everything just like he did to eskel and lambert, and tells him he absolutely does love him, and that he wants to marry him, but REALLY marry him, because the first time even if it had been sincere it was rushed and they didnt even get each other rings, and he wants to do it right so it’s a good memory, but first he’d really, really like it if they could actually have a real first date, so he could get the chance to like. actually be with geralt, and give him kisses and be good to him n’ such, and geralt Loves Him and Is A Sap, and also was very much involved in the “not completely communicating” thing, and so he caves and they have a lovely first date

[roughentumble]

#And maybe that sparks some emotional confessions!!!

oooo, yessss, because at first this fixes everything and geralt gets to actually feel good after sex!!! and the stress slips right off him and he wakes in such a good mood! but then it slowly starts getting worse again as it takes its emotional toll on him, because he's waking up in bed after amazing sex with the man he's in love with and great post-coital cuddling, but they're not together!! and it's such a weight on him, to be so close to what he wants and yet so far, he feels so drained by it

but of course when he goes to break it off, he cant explain all that without revealing his feelings, so he keeps it curt and short. but that just sparks jaskier's concern, and he tries to have a conversation about it. because it feels so out of nowhere to jaskier! and his heart is aching, and he's terrified this will mean a more permanent goodbye! and when geralt confesses he wakes up feeling terrible, of course jaskier is instantly like "oh no, im so sorry, just tell me what i did wrong and i'll fix it, i had no idea i was hurting you," and the next thing geralt knows another confession is pouring out of him, "its because it's not /real/!"

and then they're both staring at each other in shock because-- because geralt just admitted the most important part. that he doesnt actually want less, he wants MORE, but he doesnt think he'll get it.

only half a thought so its not much yet but. something something geralt kind of needs the afterglow and the pillowtalk after sex, even if he ends up falling asleep quickly or something, or he ends up feeling really cold and empty, kind of like dropping without aftercare. but also the majority of the time, his hook up doesnt have an interest in just laying around holding him, so that becomes the norm for him, satisfying the physical urge when it gets too much, and then walking away feeling hollowed and emptied out.

next part is fuzzy but, perhaps jaskier notices sometime? he sees geralt come back, sullen and withdrawn, and cajoles him into talking, and when it all comes out... jaskier opens his arms. offers to hold him. and geralt almost refuses, but his chest ACHES, so he just... gives himself over to it. lets jaskier hold him in his arms, and speak to him in hushed tones, and slowly some of the coldness starts to receed

[roughentumble]

@hale-of-stiles-heart​

ok no wait i think i thought of a way to dig myself out of the angsty hole. im a little bit(a lot bit) stealing some of this from a fic i read(not linking the author solely because. i have no idea if they’d want to be associated w/ this back and forth?? idk. but if they read this and want me to i’ll totally @ them, respectfully :3)its wish fulfillment-y, but bear with me

jaskier caves. the entire trip to oxenfurt is like a death march, and even the cat can tell something’s wrong(though that doesnt make it warm up to geralt any further). he signs on as a lecturer, but only for the year, instead of a longer engagement like the faculty wants from him. prolonging the inevitable, geralt thinks to himself. jaskier isnt ready to admit it might be longer-term than that.

jaskier locks the cat in another room to say goodbye to geralt, so he can give him a proper hug. makes him swear he’ll come back and visit often. fists his hands in geralt’s shirt, shaking him slightly as he speaks. “and i dont mean promise like you promise a child, or something casual you say so you can beg someone off, i mean a real, actual oath! because if i go more than a year without seeing you, i swear– and truly, actually swear, on my grandmothers grave i swear– i’ll set out on the road looking for you, i’ll die on some seedy backroad, and it will be your fault, and you’ll carry that guilt for the rest of your life! i will die on purpose just to haunt you, geralt of rivia, dont test me!”

geralt places a hand gently on jaskier’s. thumbs away some of jaskier’s tears with his other hand. “i’ll visit.”

it’s a sad parting, but as soon as geralt’s left the city, jaskier is filled with determination, with a singular goal; get mittens to stop being such a prick.

he asks around everywhere he can, tries to find anyone who might be some sort of expert on cat behavior. such a thing doesnt exist in the city(none that he can find, anyway), but he does find a cat lover who was so good with them that they’d taught their cats tricks, like you might a dog, so he figures their advice is the best he’s going to get.

no one he talks to is able to come up with an explanation why cats might hate witchers. but he learns how to make a cat warm up to someone it doesnt like, and he figures that’s as good a place to start as any.

he sends geralt a letter, praying that he ended up in the town he said he was heading to, with some coin tucked inside. in it jaskier says he desperately misses his friend already, and that he would appreciate something of geralt’s that he could hold, like a handkerchief he keeps on his person often, and that the enclosed coin should be enough to replace what he sends and cover shipping.

he gets back a sock in tatters and unwearable, and a rather brief and obviously confused letter hoping it would suffice. not very romantic, and in fact it sortve smells, but he’d needed something that smells like geralt, so it should do.

the cat reacts as badly to the sock as it does to geralt in the flesh, so some factor MUST be the way he smells– or at the very least, mittens has associated the smell with the fear. either way, it gives jaskier something to work with, and he sets about acclimating mittens to the smell. every interaction on the road had always led to fear, which would feed into the cycle of distrust, and jaskier is certain if he can just break that cycle, get one or two good associations, everything will be fixed.

(mittens hates every moment of it. tries to attack the sock whenever it sees it, hissing and spitting and running away. the acclimatization sessions its owner is so set on are easily the most stressful part of its now rather cushy life)

eventually, though, something… something seems to give.

not quite so much terror. hair not so raised. the hissing and spitting gets quieter. jaskier sets the sock in his lap, and makes himself as small and nonthreatening as possible. waits with baited breath, until… mittens climbs into his lap right on top of the offending cloth.

he’d shout with joy, if he didnt think it’d undo all his hard work.

mittens is still stiff, some part of its little animal brain still afraid, but he’s CERTAIN he can train it out, now he’s seen that progress can be made.

geralt does come to visit, like he promised.

jaskier is overjoyed, spends the whole day with him, dragging him across campus, showing him around. when evening comes and they retire to jaskier’s room, he’s still buzzing with nervous energy, and he pleads with geralt to “please, just– i just want to try something. please trust me.”

he gets geralt seated on the floor, head bowed and eyes closed, like he might when he meditates. one hand in his lap, and the other outstretched, palm up, flat on the floor. as nonthreatening as they could get his posture. jaskier opens the door to his bedroom, where he’d kept mittens locked up during geralt’s visit. geralt sighs, his chest aching for what is sure to be a disaster, but… jaskier had asked, so still he stays.

jaskier walks over, presses something into geralt’s open palm– a treat, he thinks– and he can tell jaskier is shaking a bit. he sits down near geralt, so close their knees press together. and then they wait.

after what feels like an eternity, geralt feels… whiskers. on his palm. not attacking, not biting, just… carefully picking up the treat. it’s gone just as quick, darting back to eat, giving geralt a wide berth. but it doesnt attack. it’s skittish, but it’s not blindly panicking. geralt can’t help but lift his head, watching it eat with breathless fascination. “how did you…?”

“ive been working on it all year.” jaskier says proudly. “i used the sock, so it could get used to you in baby steps, instead of all at once.” he’s vibrating with excitement, but he manages to keep his voice contained, if only barely. “i think– i think that the biggest problem before is that getting used to all of you at once was too much too fast.”

“but–” geralt says weakly, still staring at the cat. “but cats hate witchers.”

jaskier moves slow, so as not to startle. slides his arms around geralt’s neck and pulls him into a tight hug. mittens stiffens… but stays put. no onslaught of claws.

geralt hugs him back just as tight

Jaskier finds a cat while he and Geralt aren't currently traveling together and immediately adopts it so now he's a wandering bard with a loyal kitty who follows him all over the Continent

then when he runs into Geralt and they start traveling together, it immediately becomes apparent that cats don't particularly like witchers and the cat is rather possessive of its bard

like they'll be hanging out by the fire and Jaskier will shiver and Geralt's ready to curl an arm around his shoulders to keep him warm when the cat runs over to curl up in Jaskier's lap of the cat will cuddle up to Jaskier when he goes to bed so Geralt can't

oh noooooo oh god i know you probably meant for fluffy hijinks but gods help me all i can think of is angst/whump ;A;

at first jaskier thinks its funny, but the cat(with some adorably glib name like Mittens, of course) shows no signs of warming up to geralt, and the gulf between them grows wider now that jaskier's personal bubble has been extended to about a foot and is rigidly enforced by teeth and claw. jaskier feels a pit open up in his stomach everytime geralt sets up his bedroll on the other side of the fire, where before they'd taken to sleeping side-by-side.

all his hard-won battles to get geralt used to physical affection go up in smoke, because it doesn't matter who initiates. mittens attacks either way.

"we should stop traveling together." is said in a random room at a random inn after months of build-up. they only had money for one bed, and geralt's bedroll is spread out on the floor, because they cant share anymore. he doesnt look angry, or even sad, his face arranged into the carefully blank voice of reason.

jaskier is devastated, tries to deny it, but geralt just places a hand on his shoulder(only allowed because the cat is currently, by some miracle, sleeping). "there's no way to get a cat used to me. it's instinctual. and it isnt good for your cat to spend its life terrified. i know oxenfurt wants you as a professor. it'd be a good life."

jaskier recoils at the suggestion. "what? so-- so now you're asking me to choose between you and my cat, is that it?"

"no. im telling you to pick the cat." jaskier's face crumples, and for a moment it looks like geralt might hug him, but jaskier steps forward to meet him in the middle, and the floorboard creaks. his cat wakes up, and is instantly racked with terror, throwing itself bodily between jaskier and geralt.

geralt lets out a heavy, longsuffering sigh, and crouches down with hand outstretched. "no, geralt, wait," jaskier says, but there's no time because the cat attacks instantly and without remorse, fangs sinking heavily into the meat of his palm, feet kicking out to attack his wrist. it's little chest heaves with effort and fear.

he lifts it into the air with gently hands, and carefully places it in jaskier's palms, showing him where to hold it so he wont get scratched. geralt has to pry its jaws open to get it to release him, and when it does he dutifully walks away to lean against the wall, give it as much space as possible. jaskier hugs it to his chest-- its the only hug he's getting now.

"how are you talking about this so calmly, don't you even care?" he asks bitterly.

"because i always knew you were going to leave someday." geralt responds simply, and it feels like a bolt to jaskier's chest.

"no, i wasnt-- i wasnt-- i never intended--!"

geralt looks-- resigned. pitying. "yeah. i know you didnt."

there's silence for a moment, tears rolling down jaskier's cheeks as he searches his mind for a solution that would let him stay.

"i'll sleep in the hall, so mittens can calm down." geralt says gently, ignoring jaskier's protests. "we'll set out for oxenfurt first thing in the morning."

"no, i wont go! you couldnt get rid of me first time, witcher, what makes you think you can do it now?"

geniune sadness finally manages to break through geralt's mask, brows drawn together and lips pressed into a thin line. "you'll find," he says quietly, "that i was never actually trying to lose you. if i truly wanted to be gone, you wouldnt be able to keep up."

jaskier sucks in a breath-- the knowledge that geralt never actually wanted him gone, now of all times, almost too much to bear.

"im sorry." he says quietly, and shuffles past jaskier to gather up his bed roll.

"but i just wanted... i wasnt trying to-- i just wanted--!" jaskier cant seem to get his thoughts straight, speaking through sobs.

"i know." geralt says, though he doesnt reach out to provide comfort. they dont do that anymore.