#and ive read LOTS of mediocre and bad ones

[the-gayest-show]

My current thoughts on House MD as someone who is binging it madly

House is such a guy. He's so down bad and miserable FEED ME MORE!!! I NEED MROE OF HIM!!!!!!

Today I found out bro was British like WHAAAAAAAAAA bro wasn't straight American the accent was so spot on???????????

It has been 2. 2 days. since this show has begun its takeover of my soul. I... need help. I'm 1 more episode from the s1 finale, my current fav is the "3 Stories" episode for its brilliant writing, and I just found the fandom so uh apparently Wilson/House is a ship?? not a bad ship just not visible in s1

I keep forgetting abt shows in 2004 being a little bit homophobic like dammmmnn no slurs rn but I see that attitude, random patient. I see it. but hey. if my fav is the guy the show is named after the writers have done something right

i don't even have a 2nd favorite which is weird bc I like every single other character equally? like Cameron, Foreman, Chase, Cuddy, and Wilson are on the same level to me, though I wonder how deep Wilson's and House's relationship goes if he knows about house's ex.

Anyways uh go watch the show it's surprisingly calming and my new favorite time eater

[vampirebiter]

its so hard being an extreme horror fan because a lot of it is just. more or less edgy for the sake of being edgy and kinda ass and most of the ones that get popular so they get recommended are also kinda ass

[ritzcuit]

ppl who follow me are tired of me saying this, but if i could address the aa fandom directly... i rly would just ask that people like, stop being mean about dd and soj. like thats all i want.

im not even IN the fandom anymore, so i have no reach. i draw fanart and make my little ship posts but thats all. and thats bc the wider fandom ... is so fucking mean sometimes. omg. like its just not fun!!

but really, specifically, its about the dd and soj thing. the "play ace attorney we have so many games and [MOST OF THEM] are good!" thing. like, its fine if you dont LIKE dd and soj, obviously!! im not saying you HAVE to!

but "i dont like these games" and "these games are objectively bad and no one likes them" are entirely different statements.

plenty of people like dd and soj, even have them as their favorite games. i know this bc my soj fanart gets notes 😭 i have ppl in my tags excited and happy when i draw dhurke and datz. bc we like these characters!! and like to think about them and the story they come from!

...just bc YOU dont like soj, doesnt mean a lot of ppl dont like soj! so i really dont understand the drive to constantly talk down and insult these games?! like ... why be negative. u could be nicer. its possible and easy and then doesnt drive ppl away from the fandom bc their favorite games are being trashtalked all the time.

a lot of ppl find the space family dd interesting! they LIKE the phantom and his concept as a character! they LIKE soj and all of the political settings! it doesnt rly matter that they are, by and large, A Little Flop, bc people still LIKE them and like making content for them and thinking abt them and playing in the space and...!! like. why hate that? why constantly put us down for enjoying smth you didnt?

just dont need to constantly make slights at how "bad" and supposedly unenjoyable dd and soj are. cus not only is it mean, and makes the fandom hostile, but its literally untrue. i dont even consider myself in the fandom anymore bc all the fun is taken out of it when i have to brace myself for shitty comments like this whenever i read a post abt the series!

and i rly wish i could just Not Care what other ppl say. a lot of my friends dont care. but soj is like.....ive spent the past 5 years loving that stupid ass mediocre game. like its deeply important to me. and i just feel like a lot of ppl would have some fun with it if they werent constantly told how bad and skippable it is. im sure dd fans feel the same way.

its very cliquey. its very "the popular opinion is correct and if you dont agree, you dont get to play with us". it just sucksssss

[timmie-p]

Ivan Interview translation

Ivan, the Next CF Star

Just two months after his debut, Ivan was selected as an ambassador for the famous luxury brand Q. Ivan is the first non-native 'pet human' to become an ambassador for Q. "Ivan's stoic yet playful visuals are perfect for capturing the diverse appeal of Q," said Q's chief designer.

Ivan, who recently topped the Alien Stage live voting, is being touted as the next big CF star after Luca. He's been inundated with requests from designers all over the world who want to put ads on his outfits. He has already collaborated with nine brands, all of them big brands. The public's attention is focused on how his growing popularity will affect the Alien stage.

Interview

Since the third round aired, it’s become very popular. Are you feeling the buzz?

Alien Stage is growing in popularity every day. Did the crew recognise me during the CF shoot? It's funny because at the beginning of the show, there weren't many people in the world who recognized me, and now there are so many people that I can't get through the streets by myself. (Laughs)

You’re currently ranked #78, at this rate top 20 is possible, isn’t it?

Thank you for your kind words. I'd love to keep the momentum going and make it to the top 20, but I'll leave the choice up to the masses.

You have a lot of titles that describe you, right? Do you have a favourite?

My favorite is "Blocell's #1 Brand Reputation" from a recent article. It makes me feel like all those days of photo shoots and commercials weren't in vain.

What do you think makes you unique?

I can think of more bad things than good (laughs), but, um… I think the thing that fans talk about a lot is my partial fang. I think I have a normal face, but there are many people who remember me for my fang.

What’s your secret to getting the best shots?

The day before my schedule, I study the brand I'm going to shoot for so that I can clearly understand the directions on set. Knowing the brand in detail is fundamental as a model. I also think it's important to make it a habit to take care of my body.

What is your ideal girlfriend? Lots of girls around the world want to know!

I don’t have a specific dream girl, I’ve never really thought about it. If I were to choose one…. No, I don’t have one. (Laughs)

Are you close with Till?

What’s your definition of “close”? (Laughs)

We’re just okay. Mediocre at best.

Let me ask you straight up. Do you think you can beat Till?

I don’t know… If you could perform as wildly as him, you might win too, right?

Say something to Till, your next opponent!

…..Keep it up?

read it for your own here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/ivan-interview-99972496

also i’m sure an official english version will be out soon i just like doing these lol

okay!!! i feel like vivinos is dropping red flags here but idk 🥺 ive already been theorising that ivan will be the one to lose and the audience here seems to support him too much..

i translated “힘내” previously as “Come on” in the snippet where till punched ivan but i think it makes more sense here to translate it as “Keep it up” (it’s just generally words of uplifting encouragement)

also for the part about his fang my translator translated that as “false teeth” and boy when i tell you i was confused 💀

also following up the question abt his dream girl immediately with a question about his relationship with till.. real subtle there… kinda makes me go uueeugguh tho

[fujobritta]

community has a lot of lessons to teach but one that i think has always resonated with me is this journey to not specifically accepting being average, but accepting that no one is better than anyone else . just this whole group of people who have some reason to believe theyre better than the people around them who have to come to terms with the fact that theyre just as bad as the people around them . and the character who struggles with this the most is jeff .

in beginner pottery, we see a flashback of jeff and his mother -- with her telling him that hes special and amazing . and because of this, he's so fragile about being worse than someone at something that he genuinely goes fucking insane over it . jeff has this crazy reluctance to accept that rich is just a great guy so bad that that he spends so much of his time researching pottery, trying to find some sort of thing that could make him go "ha HA!" at rich . and the only way he managed to get over it in this episode is by finally accepting that he isn't any better than anyone, imagining his mother now correcting herself and telling him that he is just a perfectly normal guy, who is good at some things and bad at others .

as someone who not only grew up as a gifted kid, but also a chinese person in a white-majority country, i had it drilled into my brain from a young age that i had to be special . im not a chinese standup comedian -- im not going to say that my parents never told me they were proud in me, because thats not true . in fact, its honestly the opposite . ever since i was a kid, i had to deal with being told that i was smarter or more talented; and thats really what drags you down, because now that the expectations in place for you are so high, when you realize that you arent actually much better, it hurts so much worse . thats what pushes you to stay up all night reading the entire encyclopedia of pottery and going crazy .

i think that learning to be average is harder than any acedemic stunt ive ever tried to pull . jeff went from being a lawyer who had italian faucets and got almond facial scrub shipped in from finland to a student at a community college with a study group consisting of a bunch of weird people . and his struggle throughout the entire series revolves around his superiority complex and his very slow acceptance that, yeah, he really is just as bad as all the people around him . despite taking three steps forward, then two steps back on his journey towards accepting mediocrity, in the end its alright -- because thats what change is about .

ive said this a million times but with every series theres characters that i kin that are dissimilar enough to me that i can actually like them . and then theres characters that i kin so hard that my dormant self hatred kicks in and i want to rip them into bits . jeff is the latter . i hate him so much

[thatgirlwithasquid]

ive been thinking about witch!steve nonstop since reading this so @intothedysphoria this is dedicated to you for giving me brain worms :)

-

Magic is a sensory nightmare.

That's something they never dwell on in the books, and the TV series, and the movies. It's always this amazing, beautiful thing that, sure, takes a lot of effort but is just so rewarding when mastered. And in all the media magic is cutesy and sweet...

That's not what magic is like, though, and Steve hates it. He hates it because all of his friends wish they were witches, or that they could join a coven for the found family vibes they see in their shows. But that's not what it's like! At least not from Steve's perspective.

"That's bullshit," Steve scoffs, scowling at the screen of whatever today's rom-com is called.

Carol loves a good rom-com, or a bad one, or a mediocre one. He's not even sure if it's ironic, or if it's maybe just to wind him up. But he's so often popped down on her sofa, watching a witch who was definitely not written by an actual magic user stumble through their little meet-cute. Because it's always witches, and it always has been since Carol bought herself a set of tarot cards when they were twelve to see if she had some psychic abilities because 'you don't know that I wasn't adopted and am secretly the long lost daughter of a powerful witch'.

She wasn't, she isn't, and Steve thinks magic-centred rom-coms are the worst thing to ever be invented.

Carol just shushes him, eyes glued to the screen like this is the most interesting thing she's ever seen. And maybe objectively this isn't the worst movie she's forced him to sit through, but it's still grinding his gears.

"But it is! It's bullshit. Messing up a spell doesn't do that."

"Shut up, Steve. It's because she's thinking about Mick, so her subconscious is making the spell pull him towards her."

"But that's not how magic works. A spell doesn't suddenly just turn someone into a magnet because they're thinking about someone else."

Carol lets out a frustrated groan.

Fine, maybe Steve is ruining Carol's fun a bit but it's just so infuriating. Because magic is a sensory nightmare, and fucking up spells is a pain rather than a metaphorical (or sometimes literal; and if Carol ever tries to make him rewatch 'The Valentine's Spell' again he will never talk to her again) cupids arrow come to match them up with their apparent soulmate.

Casting a spell has always been one of Steve's least favourite things. The feeling starts in his hands (because, no, Carol, wands are never a real thing witches use and that's frankly an offensive stereotype that he could infodump the whole history of) as the magic starts to build. Before long the feeling is tingling along his whole arms, taking over their feeling with the force of the spell. And, depending on what spell is being cast, they might go hot, or cold, or heavy, or numb, or shaky. None of those are fun sensations, and therefor casting a spell is not fun and cute and rom-com worthy.

That's without touching on the power building up in his chest, making his heartbeat loud in his ears. And then if one messes a spell up, that energy might burst out potentially dangerously (if the spell is a big one) or simply burrow itself beneath his skin leaving him antsy and stressed and horribly overstimulated and understimulated at the same time.

Really, the fact that the whole ordeal of casting a spell is so unpleasant is the main reason that Steve is such a spectacularly bad witch. He point blank refused to go to any lessons when younger and turned away all his mom's attempts at teaching him herself. He just hated the way it felt. That's the reason he only uses his magic for simple things, and only to prevent a power buildup that a more magically inclined witch may find favourable but that to him just gives the feeling of bugs creeping under his skin.

When he next goes to open his mouth, though, Carol kicks him from her place sprawled on the other side of the sofa. He takes that as his cue that it's time to shut up and just lets Carol watch her garbage.

The movie doesn't get any better.

By the time it's finally over, Steve's impatient scowls at the television had gotten bad enough that Carol just dumped him outside of her place with a harsh goodbye. It's dramatic enough to make him scoff, even though he knows it's 80% an act on Carol's part. She not-so-secretly loves making him suffer through these things, and must find his annoyed commentary at least a little bit amusing to keep dragging him around to watch these things the way she does.

Lost in thought, Steve his halfway home by the time he realises his keys aren't in his pocket.

"Shit," he hisses under his breath.

Great. That’s just great. His parents are off on a business trip again, which is just his luck. Those things are pretty infrequent so of course they’d be out the one time he loses his keys.

And they are lost because Steve had made a panicked grab for them as Carol shoved him out, realising the woman was not going to wait for him to put on his shoes, let alone come back inside to get them. So, he had them when he began the trek home. But they’re not in his pocket now; ergo, he lost them on the way.

With a despondent sigh, Steve turns around and resigns himself to the search for them. It was about time he actually practiced a spell, anyway, he reasons to himself as he begins tracing symbols on the back of his hands and watching the skin there glow. And… there it is. The tingling and the warmth starts up and Steve has to grit his teeth to ignore the way he wants to never touch anything again.

The numbness has crept up to his wrists and his basic tracking spell is almost complete when he collides with the chest. Magic pounds in his chest and the sound of his heartbeat echoes that with a rush of blood in his ears. With a snap, the spell breaks away from him and bursts out, fuelled by the sparking reserves of magic that had built up in him over the last few weeks of refusing to conjure so much as a flicker of light.

Well, shit.

He feels it, when his magic finds something else supernatural to twine itself with, coaxed on my the half-formed potential of a tracking spell. It’s like it hits something solid and forces itself into any cracks and crevices it can find, getting itself stuck there.

When the energy dissipates and Steve can breathe again, he looks up into the glowing golden eyes of the werewolf he slammed face first into. That’s when Steve thinks he might owe Carol and her shitty witch movies an apology, because it turns out maybe magic can turn someone into something like a magnet. It seems like he’s magically tied himself to none other than Billy Hargrove.

-

might expand on this in the future. for now i just needed to get something out lol. witch!steve, werewolf!billy and forced proximity yay

[annabelle--cane]

if we're sharing deh opinions i think the character dynamics are so interesting & i wish ppl would see that bc theres a lot of potential there but unfortunately the mass online hate towards the deh movie (which was a mediocre to bad adaptation anyway) has probably driven away a lot of ppl . & maybe this is just me but i think the hate towards ben platt during that time was way overboard , & a good chunk of what i saw veered into antisemitism & bodyshaming . criticizing him is fine but the ppl who constantly went after his looks were just unnecessarily rude. ben platt honestly didnt even look like , as old as ppl were saying he does. i saw a tiktoker saying his age is "ancient" & like jesus christ at the time he was like in his late 20s.

i feel like ppl think teenagers look a lot younger than they actually do. im in high school right now & ive seen sophomore boys with full beards who look like they could be adults & no one bats an eye. nik dodani looked about the same age as ben in the movie but no one went after him. i feel like a lot of it was just dumb ppl wanting to jump on a bandwagon to make fun of someone on the internet regardless of who it is or how much they know or care about dear evan hansen

personally i think if they had just released a proshot the response wouldve gone on better & mightve even attracted more new fans but we'll never know now i guess. feel free to ignore this i tend to ramble when deh is brought up

big agree, there was plenty wrong with the movie but honestly I stopped noticing the age thing after the first school scene, evan just reads as one of those unfortunate high school boys whom puberty hit like a truck a little too hard.

[yeehanfrf]

Week 3 Recs: Right on Time

This week's Yeehan recs were all modern/contemporary AUs. Those fics set in our world and time (or roughly thereabouts) that still include the OTP. Check out the recs gathered from the Yeehan community below, organized by rating then alphabetically by title.

Not Rated

Rootbound by wyntera [WIP; 67,484 words] Reccer comment: "Flower shop au bc yes"

Every plant is unique. They need love and care in the right environment to grow. Give them what they need, and they will flourish.

McCree and Hanzo are a lot like plants. Big, stubborn, root bound plants.

General Audiences

Conflict of Interest by orphan_account [28,222 words] Reccer comment: "Superhero au with a Lois Lane type beat"

“You know, I’ve been wanting to get an interview with you,” Jesse says as Hanzo happens upon another malfunctioning elevator shaft. How is it at all likely that more than one elevator is out of service? When Hanzo levels Jesse with a hard glare, the man keeps talking.   “I’m a reporter.”

Or, the one where Hazno and Genji fight crime, Jesse is a cigar-smoking Lois Lane, and everyone else wonders why they’ve been trapped in a bad comic book.

Teen and Up

Climbing the Walls by robocryptid [22,669 words] Reccer comment: "a social-distancing yeehan fic"

Hanzo and Cole are neighbors who have never met until social distancing forces them to stay in their homes. Neither can see the other's face, but that doesn't stop them from getting to know each other.

Da Capo al Signo by midgetnazgul & temporalSilence [75,482 words] Reccer comment: "an incredibly moving fic featuring musician Hanzo and rancher Cassidy falling in loooove"

In music, da capo al signo tells the performer to start over until they see the sign to move on. Life has its movements, too. Even when we must begin again, signs will appear to remind us that just because we feel we are repeating ourselves, we will not necessarily end in the same terrible place we were before.

It's 2018 and Jesse and Hanzo are both living in Tucson, AZ on second chances. Hanzo is on the cusp of recognition as a musician after his life in Japan is run aground by a devastating accident, and Jesse has chiseled out a life of purpose and achievement after a rough childhood. Together, they will come to understand how misfortune and loneliness can end, giving gifts they would never have found any other way.

Flowers for Assholes by HappyLeech [10,552 words]

Hanzo just wants to close up shop for the night. Jesse just wants to tell his boss where to stick it and quit his job.

Of the Pickle Persuasion by Byacolate and mywordsflyup [14,813 words] Reccer comment: "My favorite food truck au"

Hanzo is convinced that his bento wagon is locked in a corporate deathmatch with the taco truck down the street. Genji just wants to flirt with the produce vendor.

Searching for Game... by AsheRhyder [10,792 words] Reccer comment: "Cute, cute, cute, with fun meta jokes about the game, characters, and community."

Genji wants Cassidy to play the new game he helped develop: Overwatch.

Cassidy just wants his hot upstairs neighbor to stop throwing food at him every time he says "hello".

Shimada Dreams of Sushi by delicaterosebud [24,344 words] Reccer comment: "It's silly, but has the right amount of drama, angst and extremely uncomfortable situations."

As the owner of a mediocre taco shack with tanking reviews and multiple health violations, the last thing that Jesse McCree needs is competition - competition, specifically, from a sushi bar so popular that it drove every other restaurant in the neighborhood out of business.

From the very day that Shimada sushi opened its doors, Jesse had hated that restaurant with a burning passion. ...So how does he end up working for the man who runs it?

To the Great Deep He Goes by westerncibee [53,288 words] Reccer comment: "its been a hot second since ive read this but i remember enjoying this one"

Hanzo accompanies Genji to their new college, and of course Genji would want to room with his friend--leaving Hanzo to deal with a god-forsaken cowboy whose only goal that year was to be Hanzo's friend. And as the cowboy said, "You're stuck with me for the rest of the year." - and a lot can happen in a year.

Mature

The Cooking Cowboy by SadakoTetsuwan [WIP; 79,662 words]

It had started simple—he just needed a good recipe for matcha cake to surprise Genji on his birthday, and so he’d started clicking around for tutorials on YouTube.

But now Hanzo is in deep, and is officially part of ‘The Chuckwagon’; the mostly middle-aged, mostly female fan following of YouTube cooking sensation Jesse McCree, the Cooking Cowboy.

How had his life come to this?

Explicit

School Nights by rebeccastceir [WIP; 45,484 words] Reccer comment: "School teacher au and romance~"

Jesse got so flustered he forgot what he was doing and stuck his hand out. “Jesse. McCree. Jesse McCree. I’m -”

“Hana’s teacher, of course,” Hanzo smiled at him, shaking hands, holding on for a split second longer than necessary. He held his head cocked down, almost shy, but kept looking up from under his long lashes, pretty lips teasing in a grin, and ohhh, Jesse was in so much trouble he ached with it.

“Sorry. You knew that,” Jesse mumbled. Was he red? He felt like he was flaming red. __________

It's the fluffiest, smuttiest, romcom-iest, parent-teacher au we all need and deserve

Shear Bliss by wyntera [12,725 words] Reccer comment: "I think about the way Hanzo's hair is described in this fic all the time"

Sometimes you can't help falling for a handsome face...even if they are holding very sharp objects near your head.

And that's a wrap on Week 3! Thank you to everyone who sent in a recommendation! Keep an eye out for next week's theme: "The Rivalmance," or fics all about the rivals to lovers, enemies to lovers, competitive assholes to lovers of it all.

In the meantime, you can also check out the Week 2 recs here or see the list of past and future themes here!

[fratboykate]

Whether it’s already written or just an idea in your head, what would be the work of art that you want to be remembered by? Like if you went down into industry history, what do you want it to be for. Or maybe those are two different things

this is complicated because with the exception of VERY few cases people aren't remembered for ONE thing. it's typically a body of work. or at least a few highlights from a full body of work. that's my opinion at least.

for example, scorsese is not one of my favorite directors but i think it's undoubtable that he's an icon of cinema who will never be forgotten. but he won't be remembered because of one project. it'll be because he's scorsese and that legacy comes with both the good and the bad he's made. he'll also be remembered because he's become a champion and a voice of reason in terms of what cinema should be and stand for (truly...fuuuuuuuuuck marvel) in a time where a lot of filmmakers are afraid to say what they think to not rock the boat. i think the people who "go down in history" make work that is memorable and stand for something. they're more than the sums of their parts.

if i were to choose what i wanted to be remembered for it would be for my incessant fight for better latino/afro-latino rep in media and my desire to bring authentic queer stories into the genre space. im tired of sci-fi being a primarily white and straight medium being down by white and straight people. we're overdue for a takeover. if i can be part of the group that finally breaks through and am able to get a massive world-building show with a queer afro-latina lead out there then i'd be happy as hell with what i did with my life and this difficult career i chose. BUT - and i've been telling y'all this for a while - the more i see the industry devolve the more doubtful i become of that happening.

this article came out this week and truly, it's bleak out here. it's going to get a lot worse before it MAYBE gets better.

the straight white men in charge are going to systematically erase us because we're not "cool" anymore. diversity was trendy for a few years but now diversity is "controversial". they're going to greenlight fifty more "yellowstones" and ignore stories about minorities because the industry has now decided they want to cater to "middle america". whatever the fuck that means. i personally heard the shift in every meeting i took this year and it got progressively worse as the strike approached. it's not like non-bigots are the majority. they've simply decided we don't matter anymore. the diversity "fad" is over. they're going to go for straight and white because that's safe. they might hire actors of color to be the face of a show here and there but the shows are still going to be written by white people and it's going to be a white character but in the body of a person of color. or they're going to hire the rare creator of color to still appear like they're diverse but then gut their work. studios have done that to shows i've sold them more than once. they sanitize the ideas to the point where characters end up being shadows of what they once were. i write shows for people of color with women of color as the driving force. they turn those shows into series for white people that just happen to have a bastardization of a women of color as a lead.

92% of execs in this industry are white. they're the people killing the quality of all the shows. im digging up one of the best threads i've read during the strike because it communicates how shows these days aren't bad because of writers. they're bad because execs rule now and the vast majority of them are mediocre white people who are terrible at their fucking jobs. y'all have NO IDEA the shit we deal with every day.

true story: im a queer afro-latina woman. every show or film ive ever sold has a queer afro-latina woman as a lead. MORE THAN ONCE...truly soooo many times...have i sat in a notes meeting with 5-7 straight white execs staring back at me and telling me that my characters aren't "authentic enough". then they start giving notes that make everything literally worse. straight white people have, hand on fucking heart, given me notes on how to make a queer latina "better". with a straight face. fuck off and get out of my way. but they don't. they insist you make the changes, ruin your shit, and two years of free work later kill your project before it ever sees the light of day. that's the reality of being in this business and wanting to make content about queer people or people of color. its not that we're "out of ideas" it's that they're ruining the ideas and then not buying them after they string us along for the ride for a few years of development.

so...im going to keep fighting the fight in hopes that i'll someday get to make something i can even be remembered for. but those hopes dwindle every day because the industry has no desire to make what i want to make anymore. for the next few years they're going to produce more average white people shit like "yellowstone", "virgin river", "jack ryan", and "emily in paris" and expect all of you to tune in. and you will. so nothing will change. they'll have no incentive to change it.

[iratusmus]

ive been sitting on this for like . months. i know this is like target audience: ME . but i dont care im subjecting the rest of you to it too.

should be noted that this is for an incredibly stupid au that im not going to bother explaining here . a total of like three people probably know what im talking but basically iykyk. will be happy to elaborate though if you ask. anyways fiona/scourge/finitevus/lien-da riichi mahjong nights headcanons

the whole stupid thing starts because fiona watches this dumb anime [knock-off of the legend of koizumi]. the premise is, amongst an... indescribable amount of stupidity, world politics basically runs on mahjong (riichi mahjong, specifically). lots of idiocy devolves from this. i think scourge would probably not enjoy it as much because 1) this requires some knowledge of current. ACTUALLY WAIT FUNNIEST POSSIBLE DIRECTION. legend of koizumi but with famous echidnaopolis/albion figures. okay so 1) this requires some knowledge of echidna history but scourge slept through all of the history lessons so he hasnt the faintest clue who any of these people are 2) following along with the game (while not necessary, you can still get enjoyment out of it without knowing anything abt mahjong through the stupidity of the people playing, but again the problem remains that he doesnt know who ANY of these people are) is borderline impossible and he's mostly just confused the whole time and 3) not enough violence. like yeah people die but thats after they sit and place tiles in orders he doesnt understand for reasons he also doesnt understand dramatically. fiona, though, who put in marginally more effort into her history lessons and is open to picking up new skills decides that she wants to learn how to play riichi mahjong.

so she introduces it to finitevus, who is. okay because on one hand he doesnt respect like almost anybody in this stupid show because they're all arrogant self-important morons, but on the other hand its also kind of offensive. like really offensive. like appallingly offensive. i... honestly i dont know how he would react. also its just really stupid like its so stupid. it has absolutely nothing meaningful or significant to say. its not like. the worst he's ever been forced to sit through (real housewives of mobotropolis was . a lot) but its still pretty bad. either way somehow fiona convinces him to pick mahjong up (after she forces him to sit through a few episodes) because its like um a strategy game and itll like totally . make them smarter, or something. its education right

somehow lien-da gets roped into this (blackmail, maybe?) and they play on the weekends

playing styles:

scourge: incredibly aggressive. "the best defense is a good offense. or even a mediocre offense. or any offense at all." is more or less his motto. cant be bothered to attempt with strategy, doesnt even look at anybody else's discards outside of seeing if he can pick them up to add to his own hand. should be noted that the only reason he doesnt cheat is because it requires too much paying attention to whats going on in the game. usually skirts by through winning before anybody else can. looks for the easiest & most convenient hand and will always try to win as opposed to cutting his losses (after an attempt to score big falls through). often deals into other people's hands. has a stupid amount of luck and has definitely gotten more yakuman than the rest of the group combined. usually ends up with an open hand, doesnt care at all. VERY easy to read, negative poker face.

fiona: tends to lean more on defensive but will sometimes go for a more aggressive style depending on how she's feeling. relatively new to mahjong strategy so mostly just trying to juggle betaori/suji/kabe and doing a mediocre job of it most of the time. on occasion if she gets frustrated or overconfident, she'll just drop the whole thing and only put a minimal focus on defense. doesn't deal into other people's hands too often but when she does its usually into finitevus'. she's picking up tricks from him though and is getting progressively harder to read. prefers a closed hand but if its convenient she's fine with an open one. has a good poker face.

finitevus: very defensive and exclusively aims for really good hands. perfectly fine with cutting his losses in the short run to focus on not dealing in. oftentimes will swoop in in the last few rounds with a crushing defeat for everybody else. really good at reading other people & their hands. can and will use suji to trip other people up. could not be more disgusted that 90% of scourge's wins come via pure luck as opposed to anything else. prefers to keep his hand closed if at all possible. perfect poker face, very hard to read. [+ designated score calculator. calculates it all in his head]

lien-da: generally tries to go for a more defensive/strategic style at first but usually gets overconfident and throws caution to the wind, getting progressively more aggressive (esp when she has a good hand). by the end she still keeps an eye on everybody else's discards for furiten, but not much more than that - other defensive strategies are too time consuming and require too much effort on her part. tries really hard to have a closed hand at the beginning of the game but usually gives up by the end. relatively easy to read, sporting a very mediocre to bad poker face.

win rankings go as follows: finitevus, fiona, scourge (PURELY through luck. keeps randomly getting yakuman to the chagrin of literally everybody else. they are all so mad about this because he doesnt deserve it not even a little bit), lien-da

[khodorkovskaya]

20.05.23

my stepdad's mad at me bc he wanted to watch the cannes festival on tv but i don't know anyone there. like okay there's 10 old white guys in bowties on the red carpet. good for them i guess. i don't care about cinema, im sorry. and so we got into an argument about how instead of watching ~films~, i watch dumb shit on social media. which is like okay true. but also ~films~ are boring idk. if i want to relax, i'll look at memes on my phone. if i want to learn something, i'll read a book, listen to a podcast or watch a video essay. but watching movies or shows is just like not my thing idk, i don't enjoy watching things 🤷🏻‍♀️ (and caring about actors is on a whole different level like i can't even imagine)

so anyway i was a bit frustrated bc at the end of the argument it felt like my stepdad was dismissing all of my interests. like whatever he enjoyed and cared about was objectively good and worth your time, but my interests are stupid and immature and lowbrow or whatever. but anyway, no big deal, it was just typical family bickering and "young people be on their phones" kinda stuff.

but then i started thinking about how it's frustrating that not a lot of people find things i find interesting interesting. like B never cared about anything i liked. he mocked my music taste, would roll his eyes whenever id tell him about sth i found funny, never showed any interest in taking part in my hobbies... it was the worst. like am i that lame? because i take pleasure in a lot of things but nobody ever cares.

so i was v angry when i went to bed. and i had the worst dream ever about B!!!

in my dream i bumped into him on the street and it was dark out and i was like "omg ive been meaning to contact you! how are you let's get a drink". and so we took a walk together and it turned out that he was selling my nudes for bitcoin! and i was like woah what the fuck. and he spammed my phone with unflattering pictures of me sucking his dick and he was like "yeah that's how i make money, there's nothing you can do, the pictures are mine".

and i was so beyond disgusted. i was like fuck man, how am i supposed to have any good memories of the relationship left? like i had already come to terms with the fact that it wasn't magical or romantic or whatever and it was painful enough to realise that the relationship was mediocre at best. and that our trip to sarajevo or to the mountains or whatever was just bad. and now he's selling these pictures of me as if our relationship meant nothing?

anyway i woke up feeling horrible. and had to reassure myself that the only sexy picture B has of me is the one of me sleeping with my tittie out. and that's not like blackmail material. but yeah no, that dream really ruined my day today.

[shkspr]

You want asks? Then can I ask for some Tim Stoker headcanons pls? :3c

most of these are things ive mentioned on here and/or incorporated into my fics but:

his lesbian moms. their names are lilith and suzanne

pisces sun/aries moon/gemini rising

he was the only person allowed to call his brother danny. and dan was the only person in the world allowed to call him timmy<3

he is literally SUCH. a femme king to me.

nip piercings:)

he loves to cook. cooking for people is his loudest love langage

his middle name is jeremiah

hes jewish. obviously

he cant fight but he really really thinks he can

he likes to go on early morning walks and the occasional early morning run

he cant be stopped from debating debate bros. and he always wins

hes an artsy guy but he cant pick a medium to get good at so hes happily mediocre in painting, sketching, sculpting, etc

i have a post in my drafts about how we dont discuss our blorbos having their own blorbos nearly as much as we should bc i deeply believe in my heart that tim has read an abundance of kira nerys/jadzia dax fanfiction. if i were ever the sort of person to seek out creator validation for my headcanons then this is the one i would ask jonny to confirm or deny bc im so right about it

before he was a man he was a lesbian bc he loves men but only in a gay way. it was a whole journey ofc

hes got bad knees and hips. but that doesnt stop him

big fan of spicy food

also a beer connoisseur

#1 prizewinner at the calling your friends pet names competition

i might think of more and come back to this later. i have a lot of thoughts about tim

[the-gayest-show]

bro ive learned so much geronimo lore in the past few weeks is insane. recently i've learned there is a cartoon adaptation (apparently it's more interpretation?) and it's... alright (not bad just very mediocre) but THE BEST PART IS THERE IS A MUSICAL. MULTIPLE. MUSICALS.

they made a kingdom of fantasy musical and i found some album in another language (italian i think?) that goes INSANE. it is SO GOOD

link if you want to Know, it's so catchy <333

-

also ive just been reading kingdom of fantasy books left and right along with the normal ones

he's basically a giant nervous wreck and i love him sm

and also kingdom of fantasy books have wayyyy too much lore like why are there like 50000 mini kingdoms inside this bigger kingdom. and so many methods of magic from magic objects to wizards to dragons. and then there's all the OTHER spinoffs which i haven't even touched yet because there's like. a LOT.

the newer books (releasedhave this really neat style (a change from the older one) which i think is a welcome change. a very specific charm about it that i enjoy in its own way!

anyways yeah geronimo stilton remains to be peak even in 2024

Me showing my mutuals from one fandom a blorbo from another fandom knowing damn well they dgaf:

[soupdeewoop]

🚨RANT🚨RANT🚨

this isnt like very triggering (i think, its just a talk about my emotions) so like if ur gonna read read ig

and hopefully no ones gonna come to me being like ���well whyd you put ur personal thoughts on the internet” well let me tell you one thing to one knows me here and wuite frankly ppl on tumblr are very kind. that being said if you know me in real life dont read 😭🙏

but yeah i hope it isnt triggering if anyone does read tell me im tryna be cautious

i think the thing about me is that i will start crying in public if i have to. idrc at that point bc when emotion come to me they come to me, and they typically dont come that easily. i dont feel much of anything like its all a mediocre feeling like im sad but not SAD. like i have to breakdown crying its whats healthly for me but i cant do it. so if i need to cry i will cry at that moment. or else i cst. process it. like i watch these sad shows and read sad stuff and listen to sad songs and ya a lot of times i do read enjoyable stuff but other times i have to or else i wont cry or get angry or whatnot. like theres not much in real life for me to feel from. i dont rlly go outside cause my friends dont live near me and nobody really know how i would love to bike to my friends house to get there. and ironically my dad has been trying to force me to go outsiede and exercise and bike. anyways. so emotions like i cant feel them to the extent i feel them at that particular moment or it will go away. my ex girlfriend texted me saying we need to break up and the thing is we had been dating for seven months but my parents are homophobic so they dont even know that i long distance dated someone so like at that particular moment i was suing my computer on the couch and my parents were around the house cleaning so i cant break doen crying in that moment so i did go to the bsthroom. but my parents get mad if im in the bathroom for too long they think im doing something bad (?) so like i cry for teo minutes, come out, go in again but its not it. i need to sob. like its been months and i forgive her (wells there wasnt anything to forgive i understand completely why she did so it still hurts yk) but i dont rlly think ive had that like breakup breakdown moment and thats not good. if i had just been in the situation where i was aloowed to do so i feel like there wouldnt be much lingering in my heart anymore. and idc if anyone will say im so depressed or mentally unstable for crying in public or showing emotion cause for me thats all im going to get thats all ill ever see cause thats all i have. anyways. idk i was just thinking how many ppl say theyll be v embarrassed to cry in public (and this rant is not to say i wont be like i will but for my personal mental health ig i thinks its ok) and like it just lead me to think abt the times i have cried in public. i think public isnt a very good word so just like around other ppl basically.

anyways idk what else to rlly say i dont think anyone will read until here but if you have heres some love ❤️❤️❤️

[eviedreams8]

I’m uploading everything i have in a doc. Ive written this while drunk high sober. There’s a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes, I dont read often and when it comes to writing like this i can care less about how it sounds just that it exits my mind immediately. It brings me peace in a brain then never shuts up and cycles through the same horrid thoughts. I doubt someone will read this but i want this blog so that i can write on here and not on my docs i do want to be a writer and so im seeing if i have the courage to share these. So read on.

Here starts the doc v

I have this idea of what my future may look like and it scares me. Because it is me still living here and having a mediocre job and not doing anything basically the safe route. It feels as if what i want in life can be attained but i don't try to have. which is why im giving myself no other options in where to go to college because I know what I want but I also know myself and i know that i will somehow chicken out and go the safe route. Is it stupid to force my self to do something i may not be successful out in hopes that i will somehow finally come out of my shell and be the person i truly want to be just because i am in a diffrent state but sadly your mind does not change when you leave  no matter what you will always be you and your stuck with it.

I want to be “granola Girl” ive accepted the title think it has the best form in music, its 100% voice and instruments and i hope it stays the same and doesn't fall into the social music norms of electronic music sounds. Real music is real talent. I have the tattoo for the granola lifestyle too hence why i got it. I think when I was little I always knew this is what i wanted ever since the dream  the van with driving onto a log with mountains and a waterfall. I loved that dream and I would draw it all the time. In a way it is just like my tattoo. I've also loved the idea of earth and nature, I want this, it's what I want , now that i know for sure I am ready for it. I don't want money I could give two shits about that i just want someone who wants me and who gets me and all we will ever need is one another. I want what the couple in sleep on the floor has  because that is all i need 

There is something in women that when they look pretty or feel like they look pretty they become productive or its just me. I watch videos of girl being productive but the start of the video is of them looking cute. II need to start looking cute so i can be productive. I think the prettiest I’ve ever been was when i was in wyoming at school.. i wish I knew that back then cause looking back it’s painful to be like ya io was feeling myself but she didnt feel like i thought she would. It was still me. Insecure in some ]ways not as bad as i am now but still insecure. I do miss it immensely intensely but at the end it wasn’t me or was it. I was completely different i was like big sister protect like carry a knife by them alch9olo its not who i am here and i wish he was able to see Me ou there cause that’s the me i think he’d love the most. I stood heard as my friend stole the sangria im not the friend that steals the sangria and im, ok with that. But im also the friend to invite the friend to the wildlife meeting int the Rocky Mountains and 8im the one to talk to most of the our group to learn more about what we are doing. I’m the one to veer off enough to find the deer tooth. I was different I thrived and i think I wasn’t officals to move out and i wish i didnt fail all my classes and i wish i could i have moved in with Kylie but i pushed against it. 

I wish I could’ve been lucky enough to have perfect teeth show when i smile. No matter who i see on my phone i study there faces. I see there eyes their smile their lines on their faces the way the react to any scenario and im like wow if only i could react in that way and look the way they do because they are beautiful and i am well me. I get drunk because most of my life drunk people have reacted  to me in a way that i seem beautiful idk if it’s cause thats when i gain confidence or their judgment is drunk opossibly i am only beautiful when someone’s vision is a little distorted. My boyfriend still believes im beautiful even on days i feel ugly. I really love him when i think about him i feel a pull on my heart   

This brain of mine is getting awfully hard to stay friends with it. And its kinda strange to think that i have no control of that but i stand watch as my life burns around me people i hurt promises broken. That’s not me i swear thats that thing thats taken over it wears my skin and clothes it but its not me. I look in the mirror and she’s a stranger god how many times has a human put that down on paper. Why when i speak to myself constantly all day its a little less cliche then when im typing. This body has become fat and her hair frizzy. Skin bad. She’s disgusting. She’s ruining all of my relationships and i am too much of a coward to apologize for it. What’s the point of getting myself back on track when as pattern has shown i will inevitably fuck it up and it crashes and burn and i crash and burn once again. When in have it all i eventually don’t want any of it. And so i discard it and discard the people involved. Or I hid from it. I wanna live in a ditch. Never to be bothered again. And the only thing i can think of is gosh doesnt a dom and sub relationship sound like the best situation to be into. And hey if thats not your thing more power to you ladies im not saying thats how every women should live. But for me its heaven. Ever watch fleabag? That wonderful quote “i want someone to tell me how to dress tell me when to eat etc. god knows i cant take care of myself and well i dont think I’ve formed into a total grown up just yet so until that happens the adult relationship for that would be dom and sub. How embarrassing if thats what i become i grew up in a powerful women family and i do not carry that torch. So far one thing has been clear. I do not want to lose him. My goodness gracious he is an angel. 

There’s nights that haunt my mind. Many of my daily life decisions haunt me too. Everything haunts me. My past is a ghost who is mean. And it likes to act like a pop up book from hell (Gilmore girl quote). Throughout the day everyday pop an image of a past mistake. I think most definitely my problem is me. Most of the things i regret was me just causally living my life thinking I was sane. Looking back now im like hellooo why would you choose that high school schedule. If your reading this and think wow she’s thinking she’s insane because of something as silly as a high school schedule she really may be crazy. There’s other examples stupid things like that me being an idiot. Basically my schedule really showed me that learning was never really my goal. I didnt take any ap science classes but hey that is what i wanted to go into so maybe a bio and chem would be a good idea. So that leaves me thinking what the fuck do i want. I want to be constantly drunk and i want to be left the hell alone and i want to be fucked and i want to be thin i want to be in the good graces of everyone i fuck over .. Is there a place in this world for a girl like me. I hope to find it. I

not having morals and a strong sense of self can really destroy a persons entire mind. Believing in yourself and the way you chose to spend each passing second without an ounce of doubt is the best thing you can do for yourself. You are marinating waiting to bloom feeling out the waters just waiting for the day to come. Some would say just jump but gosh im 22 i have my whole life to swim just let me dip my toes in for a while i know that im setting myself up to tread water all my life instead of putting on a life jacket while im young and on land. That’s my choice. Having belief in oneself can really be beneficial. Words, judgements, and opinions and suggestions from others may seriously drown a person. It can send you down a path that you’ve never even wanted and therefore derailing the whole reality you’ve created for yourself so when you start off at square one again you get those same critics again. The understanding of this has helped me be able to not spiral out. I dont know what divine intervention was with me when i did have this experience but it talked to me in a way that I’ve never talked to my self before. The conversation went something like this. 

What if me and him aren’t actually in love we are young and dont know what love should look or feel like since neither of us really expirnced it growing up. 

Well thats not true. (Ok so I don’t remeber exactly how the conversation went ) 

you two have actively sought each other out and chose one another. That is love. 

then something about how Wyoming was my life the same way he is my life it happened the way it did because it was supposed to happen that way i was suppposed to go only for a year and we were supposed to end up together 

the spirit also told me that hurting myself was not in the plan it isn’t the reason your together now you would’ve ended up together if it happened or not. But it was sorry that it did. 

The light in his bedroom was bluish and bright and my eyes were open most of the  

time for this conversation. It was a soft eloquent voice and it thought me to slow down the conversations i have with myself. That i didnt have to be so fast in my head. 

It changed me. I feel different. Lighter so thank you spirit. 

i like rewatching the things I watched as a child young impressionable wondering if who i became is becasue of the things i did for entertainment. Or becasue it was dest8ined to be that way. When i watch Hannah Montana or pretty little liars i see things that coincide with the choices I’ve made. But gosh it can be my little selfs fault for all that can it. My parents didnt force me to watch not cable and so therefore im sentenced to a life of lust and sloth and all the other seven deadly sins. I wasn’t given internet restrictions but god only knows what i was up top on those late nights as a ten year old. I love to say it but it really did ruin my life. It made me I also I find myself studying the faces of the girls in the shows i watch or those I see on social media . Just so i can compare them to my own see what makes them attractive and the differences between mine and theirs when you feel unattractive its easy to compare to your self to your family first and knowing that you find the women in your family beautiful its easy to belive you yourself  is beautiful and when you compare famous women to your facial similarities then you feel even better about yourself. I guess my comparisons would be Lucy hale and etc. . . .]

I believe god is a form of love everything on earth that’s embodies love is god. 

Self love, love for a person and community   Which is why I also belive that the upper class is all satirist they don’t belive in god they believe in the devil which is why our society is so blinldy following their lead. It’s why chiridasntutn is so diminanixyed too. 

Why does the world think it has a claim on my soul why must i feel like i owe the world my presence. Why do i have a pull to see it. Why cant i just be happy here. Why cant i be at peace here. Why does it have to be my job to go out and live and visit and see as much as i can. Live in another world in the southern hemisphere. Why cant i just love the man and be friends with the people here. Why cant i force myself to fit here. With my family loved ones. Why must they expect so much from me why do i feel like im responsible to be the one to get away. Why can i not have my life here. One foot here one foot out the door thats how I’ve always felt. I tell a joke ill just leave by train bus train plane ill be gone. Its just a joke i dont know how to actually leave by myself. I need someone to pus me into the void of somewhere new. Come with me.

The call is as talking about above has called again. I must see more, do more I have dreams and i dont work towards them. I talk about it, I feel it inside me, I can picture how it looks. Now it is time to achieve. A work for it. Work, DO DO DO DO DO DO DO. DO More. Follow that passion and hope for happiness i know it can happen. Every thing could be different in a years time if you just apply yourself every day for a year to make that change. Things are worked for things happen when you do them not just think it. You have to go sought after your life not just watch others achieve what you want. You’ve done that your whole high school days and now its been four years since and your still trying to inspire that spark into you to get you moving when its already been sparked this whole time. Get out of your head and into your life.  

[mallowmaenad]

im unemployed and smell bad. im slightly addicted to thc, i couldn't get passed undead burg in dark souls 1, I have manic depression, bpd, ptsd, autism and something like schizophrenia, i suck ass at most physical activities, I make microwave quesadillas at 3am, i eat pepperonies straight out of the bag, I can easily be pushed into a spiral of panic and sadness if you use a harsh enough tone with me, I drink to get drunk, all of my previous friend groups have abandoned me for my rancid vibes and mental illness, I have opinions on hentai, ny favorite streaming service is tubi, when i was a kid i would always get into the flash in the pan comeptitor to pokemon that would inevitably fail, i have completely silent orgasms, i sometimes go two or three days without changing clothes and sometimes don't shower for several days. I am still touch starved even though I have a girlfriend (im polyamorous but i dont think anyone else wants to hit at this point) I can't drive, I dropped out of community college, I have a fear of rain, I have given up on leaving my house to socialize, my favorite video game series of all time is Borderlands, I liked the live action super mario brothers movie, I go too far when it comes to kinning fictional characters, doing the dishes makes me really sad, I have such a specific hair color that it is hard to accurately render it in a piccrew. ive been on tumblr since 2013. I think homestuck is good. im a lesbian but id fuck big the cat. i feel bad about exerting authority in any of the like three discord servers I administrate. I kind of like the newest limp bizkit album and playsation 1 y2k liquid dnb jungle compilation playlists on youtube. I have just the right cocktail of adhd, memory loss, DID and chronic pain to make me seem like a lazy inconsiderate asshole. I dont care that the designs in dragon's crown are sexist. I have not listened to any presently relevant music other than Kendrick Lamar's diss tracks and struggle to recognize artists and celebrities by name, most of my skirts are so short that they're slightly inappropriate to wear in public and im not conventionally sexy enough to pull it off, my tits are small but are just large enough that they dont appeal to people who like small tits, I unintentionally put random affects on my voice, I want to learn japanese one day for nerd reasons but probably wont. I liked Rogue One, I suck at reading books, I hate going to places with a lot of people that play loud music, I hate 21st century pop a lot, I feel disconnected from the lgbt community despite being a transgender lesbian, I crave intimacy and pleasure but hate sex, im extremely easy to misunderstand in drastic ways, i think i might be a demon no i cant do any cool demon magic, i havent made music in several months and what i have made isnt very good and is technically incompetent because i dont have any actual training in any instruments, I think Pinkerton was a mediocre at best album, I like taco bell and don't care how much it fucks up my stomach, im a germaphobe with a piss fetish and yeah that makes it just about as conflicting and complicated as you may think it is, ive been kicked from age regressor discords, when I was early into my transition i modeled my fashion after vriska serket, i used to live off of shoplifted protein bars, ive barely ever paid rent on time when i was still paying rent, at multiple jobs ive worked at management has made it clear that everyone working there hates me. i play weird and obscure races in dnd. I do not like most of the final fantasy games released after final fantasy 9, I get sniffly and congested embarrassingly often, my dick is too short to be attractive to people that like long girldick and too long to be attractive to people that like short girldick, I like that cheap hot sauce is 70% vinegar. im like if tomoko kuroki was too large, too masculine and just old enough to no longer be moe anymore. anyway my dms are open

there is literally nothing in this world more endearing than a girl who is an absolute loser