#taken from a message i posted in the community discord server rant channel

[fujobritta]

community has a lot of lessons to teach but one that i think has always resonated with me is this journey to not specifically accepting being average, but accepting that no one is better than anyone else . just this whole group of people who have some reason to believe theyre better than the people around them who have to come to terms with the fact that theyre just as bad as the people around them . and the character who struggles with this the most is jeff .

in beginner pottery, we see a flashback of jeff and his mother -- with her telling him that hes special and amazing . and because of this, he's so fragile about being worse than someone at something that he genuinely goes fucking insane over it . jeff has this crazy reluctance to accept that rich is just a great guy so bad that that he spends so much of his time researching pottery, trying to find some sort of thing that could make him go "ha HA!" at rich . and the only way he managed to get over it in this episode is by finally accepting that he isn't any better than anyone, imagining his mother now correcting herself and telling him that he is just a perfectly normal guy, who is good at some things and bad at others .

as someone who not only grew up as a gifted kid, but also a chinese person in a white-majority country, i had it drilled into my brain from a young age that i had to be special . im not a chinese standup comedian -- im not going to say that my parents never told me they were proud in me, because thats not true . in fact, its honestly the opposite . ever since i was a kid, i had to deal with being told that i was smarter or more talented; and thats really what drags you down, because now that the expectations in place for you are so high, when you realize that you arent actually much better, it hurts so much worse . thats what pushes you to stay up all night reading the entire encyclopedia of pottery and going crazy .

i think that learning to be average is harder than any acedemic stunt ive ever tried to pull . jeff went from being a lawyer who had italian faucets and got almond facial scrub shipped in from finland to a student at a community college with a study group consisting of a bunch of weird people . and his struggle throughout the entire series revolves around his superiority complex and his very slow acceptance that, yeah, he really is just as bad as all the people around him . despite taking three steps forward, then two steps back on his journey towards accepting mediocrity, in the end its alright -- because thats what change is about .

ive said this a million times but with every series theres characters that i kin that are dissimilar enough to me that i can actually like them . and then theres characters that i kin so hard that my dormant self hatred kicks in and i want to rip them into bits . jeff is the latter . i hate him so much

[emeraldskulblaka]

Regarding the whole Robert Hallow and the Holy Men incident: I have received a number of asks from anons attempting to explain what happened. I decided to publish them under a “read more” to avoid clogging up people’s dashes.

tl;dr: I feel like everyone overreacted. The whole situation hasn’t been handled sensibly and I can only repeat what I’ve said before: set and respect boundaries, especially when it comes to celebrities of any kind.

Make sure to check the reblog(s) for more, and do not send me any more asks concerning this whole issue. I'm not part of any Discord group and didn't ask to be involved in any of this.

The post responsible for my involvement (check notes) x

Previous asks: x x x

Ask #1

The tad/rhathm discords dont have the exact same mods but theyre all part of the mod/inner circle clique on the tad server and are 'high up' in their social circles. I've seen several occasions where they've pressured others not in the clique to delete tweets @'ing the band in incredibly innocuous things and actively discouraging people tweeting asking abt Ruin in the name of "joey has anxiety" "dont pressure the band" "respect what you get from them". And yet they were deep in Robert's dm's the whole time 🧐 and follow anyone related to the band on ig including Joey's sister?? I honestly can't say I'm surprised it came to this because they clearly thought they were exempt from whatever boundaries they over-enforced with everyone else irt communicating with the band and its members and got upset when those boundaries got put back in place. (Sorry for the rant lol it all just seems so shady).

Ah, thank you for the clarification regarding the mods! While I don’t think following people on Insta is inherently bad, it’s important to respect rules you expect others to follow as well, no double standards. And in general, artists need to know how to deal with pressure from fans. Obviously, fans should respect boundaries, but a certain degree of professionalism can and must be expected (especially from Joey, who is the biggest “celebrity” of all of them. So yes, don’t bully people, guys, and don’t talk over them.

Ask #2

Re -RH the mods for the Discords aren't the same [I am in both].

Re - the TAD discord 'gaslighting' a small number of fans were told off for trying to dm the band directly when changes were made on the discord -

The change was removing a cursed channel that made people uncomfortable

A group then kicked off that it wasn't fair they couldn't post what they wanted and the word gaslighting was thrown around.

I dont participate in either because of all this mess

Gaslighting seems to be people’s favourite word atm even though nobody knows what it actually means -.- yeah, it’s a mess.

Ask #3

I was in the rhathm server and what happened was at some point someone came to the mods with accusations of gaslighting and manipulation and abuse. The mods decided they were uncomfortable with him being there and kicked him out and decided to close the server. They put up a message (which he couldn’t see, he was gone by then) saying they were closing the server and said they wouldn’t give details on what happened based on respect for the victim and the victim’s safety. Then Robert posted the crying video. And then he posted another video where he publicly outed the full first and last name of the victim who was trying to remain anonymous. Which was taken down by instagram pretty quick because a bunch of people reported it because of that. Which is when he made the “my side of the story” post. An artist then came to forward in the discord with stuff about him taking advantage of and not paying artists the way he should. There wasn’t really hate in his insta comments and he didn’t have access to anything in the discord since before the message that it was closing went out. There wasn’t any hate for him before either, everyone in the discord loved him. So i don’t know if there was a lot of hate in his insta dms or something but probably not? I don’t know where he was seeing all the hate he talked about. No one was telling him to delete everything or to stop making music or stopping anyone from making another discord. He just went and deleted everything of his own accord. This was just the discord closing and he blew everything way out proportion imo. And yeah it does look kind of bad from outside the server because all anyone else has seen is that everything is deleted and maybe what Robert said about his side of the story and him crying. But unless the victim herself decides to come forward and publicly tell her side of the story, which she shouldn’t be forced to do, then that’s all there is really is for the moment. (he does have someone there with him btw, his fiancee, so he’s not alone if you’re concerned for him)

Oh damn, they really did overreact, huh? I wasn’t aware of the video in which they outed that person, but that’s horrible and extremely unprofessional. I didn’t see hate geared towards them anywhere either, that’s why I was so confused yesterday afternoon - it all seemed to come out of nowhere. So thank you for the input - I have no clue about anything, so I’ll leave it at that. And yeah, I noticed another person present in one of their Insta videos, so I wasn’t overly concerned ;)

[kswhateverspace]

The Ruby and Christina Discord Drama

To my followers who have no idea what this is about, feel free to ignore this if you’d like. This is a long post showing everything that went down with the kicking of 3 members in a discord I’m a member and Admin of. I will share a bit, and then the rest will be under a cut. 

Jaye (hernameisjaye/ @reneesgoldsberry​) and I didn’t feel it necessary to address the kicks of the server publicly and just thought things would die down and people would move on. That doesn’t seem to be the case and so while I don’t want to give any attention to Krow (grimreich666), the continued attack of Dandybear has made this post necessary. On December 9th, 2020, 1 member was kicked from the discord. Michele (kerozenangel). She was kicked specifically because of this post she made

It was incredibly rude to all the writers in the discord and also @/everyone about it. The removal at this time was specifically to protect the mental well being of the writers who occupied the discord. In addition, for being continually antagonistic in discussions with other members.

Jaye and I are not big on public warnings in regards to someone’s character and the way one thinks. The only thing we correct is off topic discussion and only if it gets out of hand. Behind the scenes we talk a lot if certain members are acting up, and mentally keep track on how many instances are occurring, if behavior seems to be improving etc. You don’t see it, but when issues arise it is discussed, usually in length, and then we decide how to proceed. We also don’t publicly report when a complaint is sent to one of us about a member, but we have been sent them and they are taken into consideration.

On December 11th 2020, 2 members were kicked from the discord. Krow (grimreich666) and RVCBard (eshusplayground)

There is quite a bit to unpack here, but I am first going to address the tumblr post Krow made. I never planned on replying, just letting it go. But Krow continues to antagonize a member (dandybear) of the discord who had NO involvement in her removal from the Discord and it’s time all sides are put out for those who are not aware, or those who don’t have the full story to judge. I will be addressing the youtube video at the very end of this post.

I’m going to address the tumblr post in question in sections.

“So it has come to my attention that we cannot have a civil conversation in the Ruby and Chirstina Fandom. Nearly a month ago I gave up my own small Ruby and Chirstina Discord to join another manged by Kswhateverspace.”

Civil discussions are had all the time, what occurred began as a civil discussion until Krow made it personal by telling Jaye to learn her own black history. That was the reason for the kick. Personal attack. I will post screenshots of the entire encounter at the end. As for managed by me, I am just an admin, and did not start out that way. I offered to help organize the discord and tried to create events to make things a bit easier to navigate and more fun. I originally invited Krow to this discord after seeing people asking for links on tumblr to it.

No one was asked to give up any server, it was simply an open invitation.

“I thought that the community would be a good place to vibe with other members of the Ruby and Chirstina community. At first it was welcoming until I started writing my own Fan Fic for the Ruby and Chirstina ship. It had been users by the name of Dandybear and Agent Sheryl and a few others started to bury the work I posted and they would shade me, barely would I get comments on my work because they would fill the submission page with there personal conversations.Now I’ve written two novels professionally and I am working on a third and out of my 15 years of writing I can safely assess when somebody is trying to blackball or bury someone’s work because there work isn’t meeting up to snuff. And as for me I always supported their work because Christina and Ruby content benefits everyone, now I didn’t get into AO3 for the comments I did it because I love Chrisby.”

This is completely not true. There is a channel I created dedicated to posting work only, exactly to prevent the burying of work. Krow would actually break the rule from time to time of that channel, which is that it’s for links to works only, not discussion of said works. There is a separate channel to discuss. Despite the breaking of the rule, I never actually removed her creator role and instead just let it slide. Also, “Shading” never occurred.

“Yet it was only a week ago that me and a few others we noticed the mean girls clique right away as it consisted of Danybear, Frankie, Kswhateverspace and Agent Sheryl, who had came from my server to join.”

I want to address this on a personal level. I have literally spoken to Krow on a voice call, for 2 hours, with Frankie also in attendance, as well as Agent Sheryl. We had been doing the drop a random pin on the map game and it was a pretty fun time. Prior to this instance, I didn’t have the most favorable view of Krow as she tended to not have a filter when posting and I wasn’t always comfortable by what that was, however, I take my role as admin seriously, and in particular being a white woman in a predominantly black server, I never wished to step on anyone’s toes or out of line. Any worries or concerns I ever had or have, I always defer and clear with Jaye. After this game, I became more comfortable in general with her presence in the discord, but she continued to post fairly unfiltered views that would generally derail a discussion etc. and overall behavior within the discord did not make for a very comfortable place a lot of the time. I say this as myself, and from fellow members at the time of instances. I was at war with myself on this a lot of the time because I was the one who invited Krow, but no one can predict how people will be or mesh.

At this part of the post I will address Krow’s accusation that Dandybear “shaded her”. The screencap Krow uses at the end of her post.

In case it isn’t clear, You is a tv show and not literally @ Krow in case that’s what was thought.

“The egregious abuse of power there Admin and Owner Hernameisjaye is sickening; as her rampage all started on Thursday when Jaye went on a rant saying that Christina was racist. And to me and another black female members acknowledged her opinion but we disagreed with it as we had watched the show several times and understood the premise of the timeline within the Jim Crow Era. Not wanting to fight we had calmly stated our disagreement to her baseless claim and yet she still would not let up even after we have both took the high road as mature adults to leave the conversation.”

I will let screenshots of the entire discussion speak for themselves. I will preface the screenshots with the rules of the discord, which were last edited on December first.

I’ll speak on rule 6 here.

“In the event that we decide to kick/ban a specific user, that individual will receive a message from the admin team notifying them of the final decision.”

At then end of the day, Jaye and I decided to not inform those who were kicked the reason. It wouldn’t have changed the result and in all honesty, we were tired. If an issue wants to be taken up with that, it’s valid. However, no result would’ve been undone.

In most channels on the server, there are pinned messages about what a channel is for as well. This channel was always intended to be a difficult discussion channel, and those that enter are agreeing to engage in difficult discussions as it relates to the show. Krow broke rule 2 by making it personal. You can see the whole chain below. As for RVC, she made it clear she was no longer comfortable in the server and didn’t trust the admins, and decided to turn a situation that didn’t directly involve her to be about her.

After this, RVCBard was kicked. Throughout the life of the discord RVC was consistently combative and antagonistic towards members who’s views or opinions she didn’t agree with. Or if someone disagreed with her. It was an issue that would flare up often, but looked past because we wanted the server to be inclusive even at the detriment to the overall health of the server. We received multiple complaints from different members about RVC with the average complaint being that she made the user uncomfortable due to her approach to different discussions in varying channels. All of the above was taken into consideration that night, and was essentially the final straw.

And despite not being comfortable with approaching mods, she sent me the following after all this went down.

For clarification, I was not present at the time and woke up to multiple messages and had to catch up on my own. 

In the past, RVCBard had contacted me with an issue she saw in the server.

I talked it over with Jaye, and it was decided thirsting channels would be created to help address the problem. I show this as an example of good faith that when issues are brought to our attention, we look into it and do something about it if we’re able.

“It wasn’t long ago nearly 48 hours after I lost a family member that was dear to me that this mess ensued, I didnt carry my personal issues into conversation as I enjoy Christina and Ruby as a get away. Yet it is damn near sickening how an Admin can kick someone without warning because your losing an arguement. This isn’t an after-school special and it’s sad that this show that delivers it’s take on Black History and pain cannot be understood even by the simplest of minds, as they are too busy oversexualizing and insulting the Ruby and Chirstina Ship to understand that we see Christina and her flaws as well. I own 2 Discords myself and NEVER would I go out my way to make somebody feel uncomfortable like the way they did me.”

I was offline and asleep for the majority of this night. And this was the reaction to the news of her family member.

While the loss of her family member is tragic, and I sympathize with the loss, it is not a free pass. The kick happened because of hostility and personal attack. With a history of problematic behavior.

I wish to highlight this part from that paragraph

“as they are too busy oversexualizing and insulting the Ruby and Chirstina Ship”

I honestly have no idea who this is supposed to even be at. The entire discord is dedicated to Ruby and Christina. Oversexualizing? Really? Acknowledging Christina’s racism, in whatever form it presented itself in, is in fact seeing Christina and her flaws.

It is at this point I’d like to share the message Krow sent me after her removal and my response.

Now onto the video that was posted Jan 1st, 2021 that has resparked the drama. Which, the video is actually the worst offense done so far. I will address particularly awful points with timestamps that you can reference for yourself. Credit to @femeivor​ for helping with grabbing timestamps as I’ve stayed up incredibly late writing this all up.

To highlight the targeting that is going on in this video, I would first like to present the controversy surrounding LITTD chapter 5. Dandybear upon receiving valid criticism of her story replied with the following, which Krow decided to piggyback on.

With that shown, let's get onto the video titled “Dear AO3 Fanfic Writers”

1:41 - "there was this whole thing where they couldn't have a mature conversation as adults and decided to kick me and several other group members out for not feeling that way"

- If you’ve made it this far, you know how exaggerated this is.

2:10 - Says a couple of writers from the server are "abyssmal and you know it comes from their fucking area"

- Spoiler alert, at the end of this video she says her discord is a place to not be judged.

6:54 - huge rant about people having Christina be William in their fics even though that's canon compliant

- For this I shall simply copy and paste her own fic’s summary:

- When Ruby get's the chance of a lifetime to change her life working under Tic's strange yet introvert distant cousin Christina, she gets more than she bargained for. As Christina a well known lawyer struggles to free herself from her fathers abusive shadow after the death of her brother William and her elder brother Caleb; she seeks to gain control over the lodge her father has denied her as his only heir. Yet first Christina must clear her father and lodge members names a task that seems all to impossible under the watchful eye of her fathers righthand-man; yet such a task is proving itself to be difficult as she is taken by her new P.A. As Ruby finds out how to read the strange yet alluring Christina, a waiting William comes to make her dreams come true yet are all dreams true; yet she is sucked into into a world of wizards and dangerous turns. Can love come at such a time, or will the half-truths threaten to rip the two apart?

- I will also add here my OWN comment on said story

https://archiveofourown.org/comments/357964615

8:00 - straight up calling out Davenports, just not by name.

8:30 - says it's "disgusting" to have Christina spend a lot of time as William which is, again, canon compliant

11:00 - calls some fanfics "crap" and "torture porn for the soul"

11:14 - "I'm not trying to stifle creativity!"

- *stares into the camera like I’m in the Office *

11:33 - calls out a fic for including attempted rape when she has previously praised a fic that included CSA

11:50 - "you don't really understand these characters, you don't really understand her at all"

- Christina is not given some EPIC backstory in the show and literally no one knows that much about her. Only what we can perceive and deduce. Aka, tons of headcanons from everyone.

13:00 - now telling people what they should be writing instead

13:34 - mockingly calling out Dandybear again, this time with more than one fic

14:10 - once again telling people what they should be writing

14:30 - mocking people for writing smut then says “I don’t caaare - I mean I like that - I love smut….is that it?”

14:55 - "and I notice that some of you guys start out so great in your fics and then it goes down hill!"

- Is this encouragement or stifling creativity?

15:13 - calling out another fic

- I’m tired, are you tired?

15:33 - "Who the fuck writes this shit? Oh my fucking god! Are you guys just dumb? Are you guys stupid?"

16:00 - "Some of you wanna tag and say 'this is a Ruby and Christina Discord server [mocking noises] and if you don't agree with us we're gonna kick you out for no fucking reason!' You know? Shut the fuck up!"

- And if you’re THIS far, you very well know the reason and it definitely wasn’t NONE

16:16 - "you obviously don't know what Ruby and Christina mean to real fucking die hard fans"

- I personally love a classic gatekeep.

17:06 - "But for some of y'all to write these disturbing, disgusting fanfictions"

17:54 - calling writers racist for including racist characters in their fanfics for a show that included a lot of racism.

18:41 - says people are wasting her time because they're writing fics that she doesn't want to read.

18:49 - "This isn't for all fanfic writers. This is only for a couple of 'em. You know who the fuck some of y'all are. And shame on you for even doing this and writing this and trying to fucking push this kind of fanfic and this garbage off."

- If you’re gonna keep beating a dead horse and bringing up drama that you created again and again, start saying people’s names instead of hiding behind blanket statements.

19:07 - "And that's the whole problem why I decided to do Krows Korner. Because I'm so sick of these fandoms and even some of these professional writers running their ass around here, delivering garbage and people being a bunch of sheeple to say that this shit is the greatest shit ever. Honey, it's either you have dyslexia or a reading complex because I'm not really fucking seeing what you thought was so great about this fic." 

20:20 - "Join my Discord server if you wanna know the full, TRUE story about what happened at the other Discord server and how these people supposedly claim that they love Ruby and Christina but they support a racist fanfic writer who clearly does not understand about black relations, but lies and decides to be a dick every-damn-where"

- The clearest target at Dandybear herself is in this rant here. Which you can recall above from the screenshots I posted, that when confronted with valid criticism, aims to do better because we all have room for growth. Including racists characters can always be tough because they are uncomfortable characters as they are meant to be, but run the possibility of being too much. However they are not a direct reflection of an author’s view.

20:52 - "If you wanna join a fandom on Discord that doesn't judge you for liking what you like as Ruby and Christina, and even if we disagree, you know, still not have fear of being kicked out because you disagree, come join my shit. It's not even worth the headache, sweetie."

- Interesting take after making a whole video attacking writers/people you hate from your previous discord after you were removed for breaking rules aka personal attack. “doesn't judge you for liking what you like”

21:30 - "I don't care any fucking more. The drama is done, it's settled"

- Considering you have brought this drama up again, after your removal on the 11th of December 2020, I think you might still care.

21:33 - "I figure I would clear a record, basically, to what happened. And, you know, signify the issue that these motherfuckers is crazy. They're crazy as hell."

Everyone at the server had moved on and enjoyed the holidays, but this video has reopened a closed case due to the clear targeting of a writer who happens to be popular. Almost this whole video is an entire disguised attack towards her.

I sincerely hope this clears the air on everything that happened and continues to happen. You have the full story and can judge for yourself whether or not the kicks were justified. If you feel they weren’t, that’s fine and you can now join a new discord server of more like minded people. This continued targeting of Dandybear is unacceptable, and those of you in contact with Krow should not be allowing this to continue. Dandy is a real person like all of us, and if you have a valid criticism of her fic, you can do it in a rational manner. Or stop reading. Like every person ever has done in every fandom ever. Dandybear had no involvement whatsoever with the kicks of the server, they are simply a member and a writer in the fandom and this has gone too far.

If you feel like this server isn't the place for you anymore, I encourage you to find a new place to express yourself in the best way you'd like. We all came here to love Ruby and Christina and have a place to do so in an organized fashion. If you don't like the rules, or consider this place unsafe, I hope you find a community that aligns more with your interests and world view.

[no-whump-on-main]

My Experiences and Safety Concerns on the Whumper Gathering and Niji  Discord Servers

      A content warning for this post: I am discussing a real case involving sexualization of a minor and predatory behavior by an adult. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to these issues. I remain as vague as I can be throughout the post while still accurately describing what happened and capturing the gravity of the situation.

     I want to start this out by saying I hate cancel culture. I hate it, I hate witch hunts, I hate call out posts, I hate bitching about people on the internet for no good reason.

     But I draw the line when there is a reason. I draw the line where other people, especially minors, are legitimately at risk.

     There have been many posts on the topic of the Whumper Gathering server. Two that explain the situation well are this one and this one. I won’t pick the server itself apart piece by piece here, as I only intend on sharing my own experience there and why I am so concerned for everyone still in the server, and for those who interact with its’ owner, Yume.

     I first joined the Whumper Gathering server in November of 2019. Back then, it was a welcoming place, serving as a hub of roleplay and character discussion. There were a few bumps along the road, but they were routine server issues that Yume handled delicately. Everything was fine. I made close friends there.

     The issues involving me began around the end of January. Yume approached me on the 31st asking if I’d like to be a moderator of the server. I accepted quickly, overjoyed to be a bigger part of the community that I loved so much.

     Unfortunately, that conversation was when everything started to go downhill. The first instance where I felt incredibly unnerved by Yume’s behavior toward me was when she asked this incredibly off-handed question right after I agreed to be a moderator:

     I am a minor. At the time that this conversation occurred, I was thirteen. Yume was completely aware of this, she knew it from my introduction in the server, yet she still somehow considered it appropriate to ask me a question with romantic implications.

     I was extremely confused and taken aback in the moment. I just laughed it off because I didn’t know what else to do.

     Yume’s conduct toward me did not stop or change after that. If anything, it worsened. After I made one joke in the server implying that I wanted to go to college to be a trophy wife, she gripped onto the name for months, and called me HER trophy wife hundreds of times despite the original joke having nothing to do with her. I was too afraid to call her out on how inappropriate it was for her to talk to me like that when she was an adult and I was, by every definition, a child. I tried to drop hints that I was uncomfortable, and while it isn’t her fault for not being able to read between my lines, even when I did finally gain the courage to flat out say I was uncomfortable, she completely brushed me off. A few examples of this behavior are below, the last being her excusing her behavior after I finally told her I didn’t want to be called her trophy wife. *Please note that the names and profile pictures of others involved in the conversations have been crossed out, because they did not consent to being involved with this post in any way, and did not do anything wrong.

    These are just a FEW examples. Again, I don’t want this to be a witch hunt, so I am only providing necessary examples and not leaving unnecessary screenshots to gawk at. Also, there is a 10 image limit per post and I’m trying to fit everything.

     More rather disturbing screenshots that go further than the “trophy wife” deal:

     The first: Completely unpromtedly implying/saying that she wanted to cuddle with me, at the time a 13 year old. I just wanted to talk about bringing my blanket to school.

     The second: Calling me the “titty police” and going on to talk about me in relation to breasts further. 

     This is just what happened in public chats.

     One of the scariest instances of her conduct toward me happened in a moderator chat. I do not have any screenshot evidence for this, because Yume deleted the entire moderator chat after people began to call her out for her behaviors, but I do have the word of the other former moderators who witnessed this happen.

     Soon after I was appointed as a moderator, we had a situation with a user making inappropriate sexual comments/requests in our roleplay channels. This person by all means could’ve been considered a predator. Yume quickly decided that this person needed to be addressed. There were 3 adult moderators at the time, as well as myself and another minor moderator. We all banded together to figure out a message to send to this person as an immediate warning to stop their behaviors.

     Everything went well until it came to who had to send the message. By now, only Yume and Kekune, Yume’s best friend, were online, along with myself. Yume immediately said that her anxiety was too bad to send it, and said it wasn’t a possibility. Kekune also counted herself out on the grounds of simply not wanting to. That left me, a minor, to go privately DM an adult who was breaking rules in an NSFW manner. I was clearly uncomfortable with the situation, but was pressured into it by both Yume and Kekune and guilted about Yume’s anxiety until I gave in.

     Later into my time as a staff member, when I was a promoted to a co-admin, Yume refused to turn off the “administrator” permission for my role. This meant that I could see all of the server’s NSFW channels. I immediately muted and collapsed them, and told her that I was uncomfortable even being able to view them, but she refused to change the permission for weeks because she preferred to just click administrator and it was anxiety inducing for her to do the permissions individually.

     Yume has also engaged in multiple explicit NSFW roleplays in main roleplay chats and refused to move them to a section where minors could not view them, but I will not elaborate because though I was there and witnessed it, it was not a personal matter to me.

     After I finally left the server in July, Yume proceeded to gossip about me privately with other adults and spread misinformation to the members in her server. I have had multiple adult acquaintances tell me they had to shut Yume down from ranting about me to them on many occasions, and rationally, I can assume there’s many more people Yume talked to about me who did not tell me. Below is a screenshot of Yume spreading blatant misinformation about me in the main chat of Whumper Gathering, saying I sent her hate anons when I could not have possibly done so, since she blocked me.

     Again, I want to reiterate this is the surface level of things. There have been many, many more instances of Yume behaving inappropriately toward me or speaking about me in an inappropriate way. 

     What makes this worse is Yume and some members of her new staff team’s responses.

     Yume adamantly denies any wrongdoing and mongers people around her to agree with her by guilting them with her anxiety, triggers, and sex repulsion. She repeatedly tries to use her asexuality to excuse her actions, or to say that she couldn’t possibly be a predator because of her trauma. She denies every aspect of this situation and blames me.

     She blatantly lies about stopping calling me her trophy wife, as the nickname usage did not stop until I left the server and had no further contact with her. She also completely makes up me implying all asexual people are predators. That never happened. She calls my statements contradictory and tries to explain away her actions, taking no personal responsibility for the situation. She tries to use her sex repulsion as an excuse, and does not own up to being at fault for any part of the situation.

     This is just one of her many, many “apologies”/public statements.

     I rejoined both Whumper Gathering and Niji in July with the intention of shedding light on how dangerous of a person Yume was. Niji was originally an RWBY fandom project, but quickly devolved into Yume’s side server and personal venting space.

     I was met with the support of many members, both in Niji and Whumper Gathering, but Yume’s new mod team (not any of the mods I worked with, there was a mass walk out shortly before I rejoined; this is a newly hired set) had some particularly disgusting responses to me. I was attacked, called a liar, and demeaned, particularly by Kekune. Kekune, who is also an adult, said extremely nasty things to me and completely defended Yume and her actions while also flat out attacking me. She blamed me for everything in relation to Yume while trying to garner support from other server members.

     As you can see, Kekune not only excuses Yume’s behavior, but lies about the facts of the situation, and blames me, the literal child in the situation, for every aspect and states that I should‘ve prevented myself from being sexualized by an adult. “She didn’t mean it like that” is just one of many excuses made during this conversation.

     This entire situation has been extremely emotionally and physically exhausting for me. I’ve put off making this post out of fear of backlash, but at this point, I am more concerned about general and minor safety of the whump community than about whatever hate I may receive. There are many, many other horrible behaviors and things Yume has done in the WG and Niji servers; these are just my own personal experiences, as I think the posts I linked above do plenty of explaining, and I don’t need to beat a dead horse.

     My message and point with sharing this is simple. Do Not Interact, particularly if you are a minor. If you are still in WG or Niji, leave. Yume is a dangerous individual, as are many of her mods.

     Yume has over a hundred side blogs. The ones I know she uses most are @/whump-dream and @/midian-alexandra. I urge EVERYONE, particularly minors, not to interact with her or either of her servers. It is not safe. You could end up gaslit, manipulated, and/or verbally abused. It’s not worth being there for entertainment or to “watch the drama.”

     All of the above words are mine and mine only. No one else edited this, or even saw it before I posted it publicly. You are welcome to reblog for signal boost if you’d like, but I ask that you please do not add any comments and message me privately with any concerns, because I do not want this to turn into a witch hunt or a flame war against Yume or her staff, and again, this post is 100% from me. Please be safe, friends. The whump community is meant to be safe and welcoming and individuals like this prevent that from being the case.

-Sara (nowhumponmain)

[faranae]

Rant Incoming

Those of you who have been here a while know me. I’d prefer to not say anything at all, or at the very least I encourage folks to do their own research when combative topics arise. However, I’m a literal mother and I can not have this sort of accusation just sitting out there without being addressed. Last time I had accusations like this thrown my way in a community I got doxxed over it despite the initial accuser admitting their mistake. People threatened my kid. This kind of thing can literally ruin lives if you let it.

If posting this gets me removed from the @ladystuck2020​ gift exchange then so be it, but I will not stand idly by while my character is called into question in a space where I cannot defend myself.  Edit: I’m contacting the event staff to be removed from the event. I was very excited to take part, but being removed from the community while also being expected to still take part in/draw art for the exchange is a bit... Ridiculous, really. 

I actually gained a fair number of followers from their Discord server today. That server has since thrown baseless accusations at me I feel like I should really defend myself against. I can’t clear things up in-server as my access has been removed. The last thing I need is some exchange of “Where’d Fara go? Oh, banned for being a p*do.” to happen out there and have someone actually believe it. Since most of today’s new folk seem to be from that server, I feel I really need to offer up my side of things. 

TL;DR: 

Said I thought an anime character was funny, got ganged up on and accused of being a p*dophile apologist because of it, now banned from event server (but not the event!) while the folks who started the trouble and egged it on are still kickin’. Yes, I’m aware that being accused of p*dophilia apologism over thinking an anime character is quirky sounds stupid. That’s because it is.  

That’s the post. If you’re on desktop, click through the readmore for details and logs if you care for my side of things. If not, I hope your day is going considerably better than mine and that it keeps bein’ awesome.

Be kind. :)

(Oh, and for all the Ladystuck folks who followed today? I’m not in the exchange any more but feel free to throw a prompt or two my way for funsies. I’ll happily draw for you!)

Whole post: 

More than a little concerned that I’ve been soft-banned from the @ladystuck2020​ event server after having serious accusations thrown at me and trying to defend myself. I didn’t even start the conversations in question, but since I was the eldest member of the group at the time apparently it was ban-worthy for myself and not the others (my age was repeatedly brought up by the mod informing me of the decision).

What led to the ban:

Group convo decided amongst themselves that because I think Mineta from BNHA is funny I’m a p*dophile/apologist; 

Saying said implications were serious and shouldn’t be thrown around so casually was apparently making the minors in the 13+ server feel unsafe, despite fighting my own anxiety attack at the time over having some pretty serious accusations thrown at me for no reason;

 As an adult, I “must be aware of the power dynamics at play and should not have continued engaging in the conversation after multiple people expressed discomfort”, despite trying multiple times to exit the conversation civilly before said accusations were thrown and only re-joining the conversation in an attempt to clear my name afterwards.

I stand by thinking BNHA is an interesting show that utilizes many pre-existing tropes, and just because I happen to like the little purple gremlin I did not deserve to have accusations/implications of p*dophilia thrown at me. You can like a character without condoning their flaws. I tried multiple times to back out of the conversation gracefully. 

Later on in the day, I’m contacted by a mod stating I’ve been soft-banned from the server for defending p*dophilia and sexualizing minors. The mod was kind enough to give me channel access long enough to backup the logs, at the very least, and after reading through them a few times I personally don’t see it. They’re below, if you have a second opinion or can give me some clarity here.

I’m admittedly a touch salty over having my character called into question, being accused of defending p*dophilia, and being called names repeatedly... As well as being the only one with action taken against them as far as I’m aware. Just checked. The users who were egging it on and namecalling/throwing baseless accusations at me all still have full access as of this writing. 

I’m not going to air usernames but I do want to put some context out there. Anyone still in the server can easily look them up and see what was said by whom, but I’m editing out the names and avatars of other parties because I’m not about that drama shit. All I want here is to put the log out there for anyone wondering why I’ve disappeared, and anyone following up on the accusations thrown at me in the chat.

Sorry again for the drama post, but again I say I really can’t just let an accusation like this stand.

Disclaimer: I am not American. 

I think this is the part where my take of “It’s a superhero outfit, which are known for copious amounts of spandex and latex, how can you blame one guy for an entire culture” might’ve been misconstrued as an intent to defend/sexualize minors? 

Every author or script writer who has ever written anything clearly problematic into their stories is, by extension, also problematic. /s

Also, I think this might be a case of the younger generation not knowing what pedophilia actually is. Again.

The chat then proceeded to talk about the invisibility character whose name I can’t remember because I don’t watch the show being naked at all times, which I did not comment on at all or interact with because even I think that shit’s whack. I, however, was still typing on the previous train of conversation: Some of boys in the class being shitlords. Yes I forgot Mineta’s name for a spell, don’t @ me. 

Fara attempts to leave the convo gracefully count: 2

I’m starting to think none of these people have seen any anime made before the 2010s, especially after the reaction to my pointing out that the Hot tub/hot spring trope has been a thing for decades. My point here is still pretty clearly “You can’t demonize this entire thing for using common practices”. This is a Homestuck server. Homestuck. Do you know how much problematic shit there is in Homestuck? 

Either way, I fully intended that to be my last message on the matter. 

Until someone decides to step forward and get outright hostile: 

Fara attempts to leave the convo gracefully count: 3

Aaaand then they bring out the P word. Let the mob mentality begin. 

It’s at this point where my anger finally overrides my anxiety, thank God:

Fara attempts to leave the convo gracefully count: 4

That’s it. That’s the logs. I get dogpiled and I’m the only one with action taken. 

I’m not even going to deny that I’m a bit salty, but really? How in the hell is this behaviour ever okay? And why am I the one getting shit on over it? 

Sigh.

/endrant