#and its like derealizing and shit

[unknownanomoly]

MAN am i doing like fifty things at a time!

Like geez dudes and dudettes, earlier i was gonna finish (or at least get more then two) of the lost experiment aus sprunkis done and then i started working on fanart cause my god is the reanimated sprunki au and songville characters so precious to draw!!! they are so fun to draw! oinctsv y ut svi vhmho rs Dudes, I need help, why can't i focus on the one thing I wanted to do!! Also I didn't realize how far along I already was on the reanimated au fanart... like when did that happen? Listening to rock music is a jam tho when drawing this was random :p I won't apologize

[v-iv-rusty]

tbh I ask myself 'why am I so tired' a lot but I feel like having to constantly fight 15 different kinds of anxiety at all times probably has some kind of. Effect

[wanderingpeonies]

why is my brain . like this

[faedotexe]

for a moment i thought this was a regular artwork about "those episodes where they go on a bender and have to figure out what happened to them"

then i remembered those episodes didn't exist three days ago and aren't in the anime actually

just wanted to call to say i love you

[chickenfriedawesome]

more Monoma because it is what he deserves

we kind of see this with Eri, but i imagine that Monoma would actually do great with kids, much to the surprise of literally everyone around him. he is 100% the type to come up with really elaborate stories about knights and princesses and dragons that younger audiences would absolutely adore

every time Monoma is portrayed as sexist in some piece of fanwork, an angel loses its wings. Monoma couldn't give a FUCK about gender roles. Monoma has girls night with Pony where they wear face masks and paint each other's nails. he gossips about the hottest boys in school and act affronted when he isn't everyone's #1 pick. he has cried at a romcom before, and he will do it again. (real talk though, he was canonically one of like three people to treat Uraraka seriously in her fight with Bakugo. miss him with the sexism allegations).

Monoma is fluent in Japanese, English, and talking shit. passable in German and French.

Monoma is stupidly good at strategy games. once, Vlad King walked into the class B common room to find Monoma playing four separate games of Battleship on other students' laptops while they cheered him on. (he won all 4 games. Tetsutetsu was so moved that he cried).

Monoma only ever faces mild drawbacks from using other's quirks because (1) his body does a great job adapting to them, and (2) he only has a limited amount of time with each; (for example, he gets mildly queasy after using Uraraka's quirk as opposed to completely sick); however, Copy has a pretty bad drawback of its own: if he doesn't use it to copy a quirk for a while, Monoma is left feeling empty and dull (shoutout @coldlandstarlight for this banger of an idea)

in contrast, if Monoma uses Copy too much, he gets hit with some pretty bad depersonalization/derealization, like he can't figure out what is purely "Monoma" and what is just a simulacrum of the people around him. this is part of the reason that he doesn't mind being perceived as so extra; he'd rather be criticized for being "too much" than be accused of being a copy of someone else

[thaltro]

this ask is a free pass to talk abt did/osdd as much as you want 👍

I love these free passes..thank you..please give me more 🫶🏽

Spending my pass on a rant about the online perception of DID/OSDD

One thing I find interesting is the concept of fake claiming and how that’s affected the community. In 2020 there was a large increase in mental health “awareness” online- mass vague posting of common symptoms and connecting it to larger disorders. This eventually lead to a lot of people misdiagnosing themselves with DID/OSDD. And Contrary to popular belief, I actually think most misdiagnosing was in good faith- younger teens for the first time connecting to disassociation, maladaptive day dreaming, emotional swings, PTSD, and derealization- and genuinely believing they had it. It’s more likely they had more common disorders like maybe Bpd, DDD, depression, psychosis- because there is a huge overlap in symptoms. (It’s also important to note it was also a huge awakening for actual systems too- because I’m definitely not saying everyone who had did/osdd in 2020 was misdiagnosed, in a lot of cases people were right!)

Buttttt

The internets reaction to this wasn’t with reeducation or kindness or even respectful criticism- it created a whole list of “faking signs”. I personally think the people who misdiagnosed themselves harmed the community much less then the people pushing for constant fakeclaiming. And now these arbitrary concepts plague actual systems pushing them into a deeper denial and opening them up to waves of unwanted harassment. Like ok, here’s some common misconceptions you’ll see (all the ones I’m listing are just bullshit and are contradicted with actual medical research)

-Systems can’t have fictives

-Systems can’t unmask

-Systems can’t have littles

-Systems can’t have factives

-Systems can’t have internal relationships

-Systems can’t have high amnesia

-Systems can’t have rapid switches

-Systems can’t have faceclaims or go by different genders/sexualities

ALL OF THIS IS BULLSHIT! None of these actually are backed up with medical research! And the worst part is I see groups of people just harass normal systems who show these normal symptoms and constantly fakeclaim them. I see cringe compilations, r/fake disorder cringe, tik toks, and video essays just spewing this nonsensical shit and it genuinely hurts. (It’s SO ANNOYING when they say shit like “people who do this hurt actual systems” YOUR HURTING ACTUAL SYSTEMS SHUT UP 😭) but Yes I do think there are people out their who do fake this disorder and use it to hurt and manipulate people. But I don’t think that’s the majority of misdiagnosed people. Even if someone was wrong I think it’s safer to just ignore them then to spread misinformation about DID/OSDD and encourage the possible harm onto genuine systems. (Also being wrong and admitting you are wrong is fine)

But yeah I’ll end my rant by saying If you support this weird online fakeclaiming witch hunts then I don’t want to associate with you. And to the self diagnosed systems or suspecting systems, it’s incredibly hard being in that position- harassment is almost guaranteed online and that sucks. Self diagnosis is valid especially if you can’t afford DID specialists- however with that statement If you do self diagnosis its necessary to do research. Don’t look at plural pedia or random websites- I recommend reading the DSM and The haunted self (it explains the fundamentals of structural dissociation)

PDF for the actual book ^^ (it’s also good for self diagnosed systems because it can help you weed out any other possible disorder overlap with BPD and PTSD)

But yeah 🙁 sorry for the rant I’m just really frustrated with the current climate of the internet especially for systems.

[brainjvice]

Yapping about Kaiser (again)

No because I was thinking about Kaiser's narcissistic traits and how fucking SPOT ON they are its insane.

The hierarchy. The fact kaiser thinks in hierarchies. And its shown pretty explicitly via that one panel of noa and isagi on the stairs and Kaiser looking at them from below after his delusions got shattered.

That + him perceiving(!) Ness as a dog because he is inferior in his hierarchy scale.

And this is such a dismissed trait yet it's The most important when it comes to how narcissistic people navigate interpersonal relationships.

There's always someone inferior. There may be someone superior, too. Unless you're delusional enough. Then you're actually God.

And to think Ness is the main enabler* of those "delusions", esp when it comes to grandiosity, another narcissistic trait Kaiser displays.

*specifying i am not victim blaming Ness

Without Kaiser taking advantage of his fragility, without Ness grabbing onto the single spark that Kaiser had shown him (via... calling him a loser? Lmfao), the kaiser-centric system in bm would not exist.

So Kaiser went from being dismissed by the whole team due to his antisocial behavior/inability to navigate the "human" world to being praised non-stop and considered the fundamental player in their team.

Considering how Kaiser has never received love or recognition beforehand, he got lost in it and got greedy. Kaiser pre chara development is just your local feral stray cat who you adopted and now believes he is the king of the house. I seriously do not blame him for that ngl.

(Esp since he Is a good player. So his delusions werent actually that delusional yk.)

He does think he is The shit though, except at the time he was a v static player. He got too comfortable in the security of ness' passes, too dependent on it, which made his game more predictable and didn't let him evolve to reach his full potential.

I think, with time, his grandiosity may fade a bit, since to me it was strictly linked to Ness and the kaiser-centric system used by BM. That + it is a double edged sword, since it actually slows you down into becoming your better self. If you alreadythibk you're the greatest, there's not much room left for development.

And Kaiser is smart and is actually quite self conscious enough to not fall in past mistakes, not now that he has finally gotten the grasps of how to become a better player. He is a pro when it comes to survival, after all.

So yeah, grandiosity is def not Kaiser's main trait imo. The hierarchy, his callousness and his sadism (his malice) are probably more "pronounced" in his personality, although neither callousness nor sadism are inherently linked to narcissism.

Now, as I just said, sadism is common in people who display narcissistic behaviour but its not inherently narcissistic. It may be linked to antisociality, as well as trauma or repressed rage.

Kaiser, who's been unable to react to his father's abuse for YEARS, has, in fact, more than a decade worth of repressed rage. Except – once again – he does not rebel to whom he considers stronger/superior in his hierarchy.

In this case he sorta acts like your typical bully. Can't react towards an "authority" so he picks on weaker/inferior people. Kaiser feasts on them. But of course, there's no satisfaction into crushing npcs, yk. Hence all that disney villain type of monologue about how Isagi was finally big enough to devour (gay methinks, but thats not the point). Again. Big enough to get the sadistic satisfaction of crushing him but not too big, at least in Kaiser's mind.

(Except karma is a bitch and so is Isagi.)

Also. Can I say that I love how when Kaiser is not masking, he is the literal definition of the person standing emoji. Which is kinda funny but its actually so fucking real. Whoever has experienced dissociation, depersonalisation or derealization knows the drill. And dissociative disorders are sooo so common when it comes to trauma, esp when it comes to physical abuse. Kaiser's perception of his own body is probably so messed up. He got beat up till he bled like almost every day. Kaiser's body was for his father to use as a punching ball for YEARS. Since he was a CHILD.

So, of course, the second kaiser got actual autonomy on his body (for the first time ever!!!) he asked for a tattoo. Because now he gets to customise it as a way to make it his own.

It's his body now.

Also, his lack of empathy/callousness absolutely comes from trauma. Living in a violent environment, being forced to use your reptilian brain 24/7 does not do well to a child, and definitely doesn't help the correct development of certain parts of your brain when it comes to emotions. And Kaiser is still on survival mode.

Tbh. Kaiser's cptsd is severe and deeply intertwined in his personality and how he acts and lives. Even the hierarchy trait is strictly linked to his childhood: eat or get eaten. His father treated him like an extension of himself, a worthless object.

His ability to read people and to recognise Ness as easy prey probably comes from when he used to steal from people. You know, you need to learn quickly how to spot certain patterns and find the perfect victim to rob. He is used to analyse and read people. He just lacked the ability to manipulate since his experiences with people were limited.

I'm gonna be honest he would be a difficult patient to properly diagnose, considering his backstory. C-ptsd is the only thing I'm certain of.

((I think if his mental state ever becomes a nuisance in Kaiser's plan to become his best version, he would resort to therapy.))

((Much to think about but now im tired so i will end this here))

[convoy-system]

i dont want to keep posting about this, but rat made some very serious allegations against me and i feel the need to address them because this isnt just me being bullied, these are serious fucking accusations to be posting about me without any proof.

1. i addressed the racism allegations with my bait blog when i apologized for both it and my diss-misinfo blog. the racism allegations were about me roleplaying as a hispanic alter, a quackity introject. key note: I AM HISPANIC, and all of the race-related jokes id roleplay the alter making were the same jokes the real life quackity makes about himself, a hispanic person.

2. i do believe organized abuse is real. i had some really shitty and fakeclaim-y views on organized abuse and the ramcoa community when i was running diss-misinfo, but again, i addressed that briefly in my diss-misinfo apology post. its in my pinned.

3. again with bringing up the bait blog. ive addressed this already.

4. this one is what made me make this post. i want to make it crystal fucking clear, i do not abuse animals. im not fond of animals due to allergies and sensory issues, as well as trauma, but i do not fucking abuse them. i believe rat is falsely extrapolating this accusation from me discussing how, AS A CHILD, i was forced to care for multiple large breed untrained dogs that i could not handle. this was an abusive tactic from my mother. i was not abusing the dogs, i was BEING abused by having their care placed in my hands as a child whose extremely averse to dogs. i simply wasnt able to keep up with their care, and i lived in pet waste for many years growing up.

5. i was in a severe derealization episode when i told someone that they werent real. i was in active crisis and didnt believe anyone was real. i had to ask my roommate to tell me where i was and what year it was before i could even begin to ground. i also apologized privately to the person who i said wasnt real for the incident.

6. i have no fucking idea who this is about. thats fucking horrific. i, and i hope this is obvious, DO NOT SUPPORT SEXUAL ASSAULT??? im not friends with anyone from my old anti endo group, so whoever the fuck youre on about, i most likely dont talk to them anymore.

7. the slur was tranny. im transgender. i use it for myself.

8. the rest of the post is just the same shit i dont feel the need to address too deeply. me interacting with blogs that commonly syscourse while i was running my zain-syscourse blog is not a crazy thing for me to do.

stop trying to paint me as some supervillain. i was a hurt kid who was lashing out via syscourse, but im not evil. im not on some mastermind plan now to dupe all the endos, ive just changed and i want to exist in peace. if you wanna bully me then fine, your group can tag me in "hawk tuah" posts all day long. but do NOT accuse me of serious fucking crimes like animal abuse, especially because we BOTH know theres no evidence.

- nick

[duckduckgoosebutitsinatrench]

Ok so I've started writing a fic but here's the thing.

Everything I write turns into angst, and I ended up with a long ass outline to an angsty horror fic that explores shit like derealization, captivity, memory loss, paranoia, guilt, and question morality, among many other things.

It's much less of a silly goofy internet celebrity ship fic and more like an uncovering of a very large conspiracy that both the characters and the internet people have to try and grapple with.

So here's a poll. I could write the fic Conspiracy Theory, which is what I just described, or I could write MalleYuu Breaks the Internet, which is the very lighthearted crack fic that was the original post.

That being said, if I do end up writing CT, it will be much much longer of a series, the first chapter is planned to be around 11,000 words but with the way it's going its probably going to be more than that, and for what I've planned so far, the entire thing will probably be around 35-40,000 words in total. Vs MYBtI which will only be around 10,000 words in total.

[curseweb-www]

Hi, its Sakkakuu version i dont give a fuck point zero, now re-branded as Momo. can i fucking help you or will you give me your money for free

the basics

Sakkakuu/ Momo/ Rena-san/ Ashton

8teen

he/him/it/doll (IF YOU USE SHE IM GOING TO KILL YOU HERRSCHERR OF THE VOID STYLE)

system of a bunch of dead people, they'll pop in and around and be gay on main who knows. (you can always ask who's fronting)

I like .flow ALOT. why isnt sabitsuki in my head. /silly I also like p much every other game on the YNO website so talk to me abt them. I also like BSD, HNK, Nexpo's videos, Curseweb/Yabujin core, obscure utau music, DCMK, hyv games , trigun , and uh more will come if my brain brings it

ummmmm tag your posts people. dni if you're a MAP (thats a fucking pedophile for those who like it blunt), an isnotreal suppourter, or likes to force derealization on unsuspecting individuals by spamming their inboxes with shit like that (targeted) (targeted) (targeted) (i see you you fucking bastard if you fucking do it again I'll fucking

im nice (?) but dense and dont know what consequences my actions have. ask me to tag/delete/back off from certain topics if u want

anyway. uh . OH uh. hi jadie <3 thats our wife (she's so beautiful guys)

throws my cluttered strawpage at you

[kygerbearr]

does anyone know if the jury is out on whether or not your experiences can shape your gender and sexuality and that that shit isn't just static from its initial creation

i get if people dont want to say it does bc that leads to the idea that you can make someone gay or reinforce the idea that you can turn someone straight or whatever, but I really cannot shake the feeling that it's actually pretty important to think about what led you to be who you are, including those things.

like. i honestly don't feel like I would have been asexual if I was brought up differently. I do think that mental illness has contributed to my gender identity, and I do think that I wouldn't be aromantic if it weren't for how I was abused

I think that constantly dissociating and frequently dealing with derealization absolutely had an impact on my identity and is the biggest reason I ended up identifying as agender. I feel like all of this is extremely important to who I am and I'm not just who I am, I am everything that led to me becoming who I am, and it's belittling to boil it down to the outcome of it all

I don't know what other people think about the topic but I do get the feeling that most people don't agree and that this post will be seen as anti-LGBTQ somehow but fuck you anyways because this shit matters to me

[mortuary-maggots]

HIYA SO THIS IS KASPER (ik its spelled diff in the pics i only changed it recently :sob:) he's my creepypasta oc :D usually he wears like average blue jeans and a brown/green shtriped turtleneck like in the last image kinda ? and green converse with like beads or drawings on them :D personality: Hates physical contact unless he initiates or very much trusts you, in which case he's always finding little ways to have contact; brushing their hand, tail wrapped around their wrist, hand on shoulder, bumping shoulders, ect. he cant get enough of it. Also just generally dislikes people (that he doesnt know/isnt comfy with) but can mask his hate pretty well and gives respect (with a side of sarcasm) where respect is due. Harsh and truthful, will not be afraid to get in your face and tell you how shit is as he sees it or just straight up insult you. If he's chill with you, he'll be pretty playful or sarcastic but can be ticked off or triggered somewhat easily. When he's on his own he's usually pretty relaxed and creative, a lot less prickly than when he's around people. he's pretty energetic and a bit of a trickster, a huge fan of pranks, he's a sarcasm lord and honestly pretty fun to be around if you can match his energy and keep up with his quips and jokes. if not, you're bound to get tired of him quick. he CAN be serious, but mostly only if he's in a fight and losing or if he's pissed off about something, in which he tends to lash out and say literally whatever he's thinking, be it brutal honesty about how he feels in the moment, how he thinks of someone or just random phrases and words that fly across his mind. any other time would be if he was comforting someone, in which case he turns into a big ole lovebug and does whatever he can to make them feel better. despite being such a yapper all the time he's a great listener too, and gives some pretty solid advice when he can. he canonically has a whole slew of issues including ptsd, anxiety, depression, autism, AND derealization/dissociation, coupled along with experiencing hallucinations, which is part of the reason that before he joined the mansion he was extremely wary of slenderman, less so because he was SLENDERMAN but moreso because he thought he was simply another hallucination. his backstory is located here , and while i need to adjust the writing bc i did it when i was like half sleep deprived its still accurate to his character. he is a cannibal and experiences blackouts if he goes too long without feeding, which send him into a basically unreachable state of rage and hunger. he's.. basically decimated a town or two thanks to this, because when he first realised he had to eat human meat to sustain himself he really didnt want to all that much and tried to avoid it until he realised just how dangerous that was. ANYWAYS YEAH i hope this wasnt too much to read and I HOPE YOU LIKE HIM i made him like right after i joined the fandom and hes probably not all that great in the grand scheme of things but i like him and hes my son and resides in a snowglobe where i shake him around for fun sometimes THATS ALL I HOPE UR DAYS GOING SUPER GOOD

I hope I did him justice!!!

[gorbo-longstocking]

HI AGAINNN!!! i was the anon who asked u abt the possibility of oneshots in the DNBTS universe (completely understand it btw like same) AND I READ CHAP 6 AND ITS SOOO FIREEEE.. like well obv the dissociation was not "fire" but oh my goddd you wrote that shit so WELL!! i litrally gasped irl when i saw the update..

all of it feels so familiar and its a hard read but its morbidly beautiful? idk its a wonderful chapter and its so full of layers and oh my goddd im swimming in it!!

i love caracalla im so fond of him even though hes so mean and violent i just want to wring him in my hands!! and also geta.. u better stick w ur promise that he'll have smth big soon hes feeling a little left out!! (like literally why is bro always late to the party)

ANDDD also idk if this is weird but i also love ur little notes at the end 😭 its honestly so cute how u describe and share ur thoughts on certain aspects and parts of the story (but also its like i feel so proud of myself bcs i read ur notes and im like hell yea i was right w my observations) but anw.. CARACALLA HAVING A CRUSH OHHHH HES SO CUTIEFULLL

anyway this has gotten so long dont mind me rambling TLDR i LOVED chap 6!! cant wait for another!! take care :p

OMG HI AGAIN TO YOU TOO!!! [grabs you] i’m so glad you liked chapter six, dude. morbidly beautiful is like…. i’m going to start floating like im possessed. as i said in the authors note, i pulled from my own experience with dissociation for chapter six and im soooooo happy it worked out well. derealization and depersonalization is so hard to capture in writing, this is NOOOT the first time ive tried, but i think its the first time i really did it justice

AND GOD CARROTCALLA!!!! hes so self-centered, and yet hes trying so hard to ‘fix’ alga because seeing them like this makes him feel gross. i do think in the back of his mind, he was lowkey thinking they look pretty when they cry. he examines that thought later. in depth.

and yes!!!! i have plans for geta in chapter seven. his own feelings towards alga are complex right now, he doesn’t exactly know how to feel about them. usually, geta meets someone and forms an opinion instantly, then sticks with that opinion for the rest of his life. first impressions with geta are very important. however, alga broke that rule, and he’s content (and somewhat paranoid) with watching them from afar until he can form a new opinion about them.

if you want a hint of what the geta scene is have planned for chapter seven is. picture a horse. then listen to joyride by kesha.

AND THANK YOUUUU IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY OBSCENELY LONG AUTHORS NOTES!!! i will keep doing them >:] thank you for your ask, dear anon, stay frosty!!

[kalcifers-blog]

IRIS FILES - ROBBIE THE ZOMBIE

CW - Physical/Mental Deterioration, Derealization, Rotting Alive, Zombification, Bugs/Insects, Medical Horror

Word Count: 994

Character Count: 4,271

CLASSIFICATION: ALTR 181502

ALTR AGE: 24 YRS OLD

ALTR HEIGHT: 5 “5

ALTR SEX: X

ALTR STATUS: UNSTABLE

ALTR INFO: 18152 contracted an unknown illness after an encounter with ALTR 114209. He was advised to keep track of his symptoms in the form of a journal; IRIS Researchers have secured the journal to track 18152's both physical and mental development.

08/09/2016

“Not been great lately, I've had cold or flu symptoms for the past two weeks, really has been messing with my focus, not great for when I'm trying to study or play as well as I usually can but I've been pushing through it!

I'm still a bit shaken up from that creepy ass guy from last month- it messed with me. I'm glad IRIS is here to help out with my case tho, hopefully they catch the freak. I keep getting all fidgety and anxious whenever I'm out in public. I mean I guess that's normal after something like that but still, doesn't make it easier. I would hang out with friends to make me feel safer but I don't wanna get them sick, hopefully this'll pass

-R”

15/09/2016

“God my head will not stop pounding, I got my headache about 2 days ago, it started off only occasionally but god it just keeps flaring up and more often. My flu hasn't gotten any better. It makes it hard to do anything, I keep getting by, slowly but surely.

-R”

22/09/2016

“Been bed ridden this week- I thought rest would probably help but, every time I sleep I keep dreaming of that guy- I don't remember it fully and it's probably just some weird trauma thing but he keeps.. I don't really know how to describe it? He keeps warping. I don't know its probably just some dream shit”

29/09/2016

“haven't been able to eat properly.. keep feeling this itch on my neck, its not bad just annoying mostly. My phone hurts my eyes. Keep dreaming of creeper.im sure he didn't actually look like that. Sorry for the bad handwriting, I'm so tired nd my hands hurt. Might try sleeping again”

30/09/2016

“woke up and puked, pretty badly too- dreaming of that guy hurts my head”

05/10/2016

“Really should call a doctor I think. I did call IRIS, I'm sure I did, they said they'd send someone over. No one came- my body hurts, everywhere it's just this dull ache. I might try

and shower or something. I don't know what to do at this point- no ones coming I've waited and waited and no one showed. The itching got worse, I don't know what's wrong with me I just need someone to come help”

“Why is no one answering my calls???”

12/10/2016

“Tried to shower, clumps of my hair just- came out. I just cried something is wrong with me I called IRIS again I told them it was urgent and I need help. The creeper answered me. It couldn't have been real- but it made me throw my phone accidentally. It broke and I can't get it to work again. I can't keep going on like this. The itching keeps spreading too- it now feels like things are crawling in my organs. I can't scratch there”

“Threw up again, mostly blood- it was clumpy, I think it was bits of my throat. It hurts my throat to breathe let alone talk”

16/10/2016

“The man in my room can't be here- I didn't let anyone in, he shouldn't be here”

23/10/2016

“I found out why I feel like there things crawling in me. I threw up a dead bug. The itching keeps going. I think I need to leave”

“I left my apartment. The air stung and I felt everyone's eyes on me. I don't care i just need help”

“IRIS won't let me in. Or near anyone.”

30/10/2016

“They're keeping me here. They keep giving me things. They poked IVs in me- the skin just teared away. It hurt so much, it feels good to actually be given medication. It's not kicked in yet but I think it should soon. The nurse gave me a funny look when I described my creep to him. I don't know, I just wanna sleep”

IRIS Supplemental:

ALTR 181502, previously known as Robert “Robbie” James, was announced as clinically dead to the public on 05/11/2016. Within the IRIS Foundation however it should be known that ALTR 181502, while maintaining a “corpse-like” appearance, is very much alive. IRIS researchers and medics have been working on a plausible theory on the rapid and alarming decline in ATLR 181502’s health after an apparent encounter with ALTR 114209. This variation of effects with 114209 seems to be an outlier. But until a working theory has been confirmed, the containment is highly necessary for both ALTR 181502 and for the wider public. Some IRIS staff have left due to unknown illnesses after contact with ALTR 181502. Their symptoms are yet to be examined but they are all in highly secure quarantine zones until they are confirmed to not be carrying a “Zombie Virus” as the research staff seem to be calling it.

As for ALTR 181502- exact details of his initial encounter with ALTR 114209 are documented in his original report to IRIS. His condition remains unpleasant. And it seems the best we can hope for is to keep him in containment until we understand what's going on.

The journal, as well as the remainder of ALTR 181502's belongings have been quarantined or burned. We managed to digitise his IRIS issued journal for the research sake. In said journal we believe the figure he describes is ALTR 114209- as it is within it's behaviour to torment it's victims while they are in mental distress.

It was discovered, by one such medic, after attempting an autopsy on ALTR 181502, that he is very much no longer human. If the hive of moth larvae that has eaten away at all of his organs have anything to say about it at least. How he still is living, albeit not pleasantly, is about as good a guess as yours as it is mine.

End Supplemental.

[vegantinatalist]

May i ask why youre anti furry/therian? Im not either of those things, just curious lol

Glad you asked, i have a lot to say about it, skip to the end for a tldr Viewing animals as concepts and visuals that you can make a persona out of contributes to the perception of animals (and others in general) being commodities. It derealizes animals and anthropomorphizes them, it is not a way to respect or portray animals, its the opposite.

I dislike therians for the same reasons and also because its a delusion like any other, and no different from religion, gender ideology, or trans race believers. Its furry taken even further into full blown delusion. They both also often buy leather and real fur and shit for their stupid costumes, especially if they go to ren fairs. i hate that theres more art of anthropomorphized endangered species than there are members of those endangered species. i hate that cows are sexually exploited while people are making "strawberry milk cowsonas uwu" with giant boobs and straw hats and shirts that say "milk!" Need i even mention all the zoophilia coded art. Ive worked as a freelance artist for over a decade, the massive number of furries that request zoophilia porn (art of getting penetrated by or raping animals), sometimes of their real pets which they would send me (normal) images of, made me no longer care that supposedly most furries "only like sfw furry art" (i call absolute bullshit and even if true idc) or "only like anthro furry porn" (thats still zoophilia in my eyes, no im not sorry, it literally is, especially if you cant get off without the animal imagery or you prefer it over human imagery). everytime someone requested a "sfw full body nude ref" they never gave their character human genitals. Always animal genitals. like bruh you literally want animal penis/vagina, you just (supposedly) wouldnt touch a real animal on principle. Buuuut youll also totally kill and eat animals daily, and youre fine with sticking instruments up their cervixes to force impregnate them and shocking their anuses to collect their semen? and you really think everyone is just like "yeah rape for profit is a-okay but raping them for pleasure is unthinkable"? you really think no people ever are like "yeah raping them for pleasure is fine too"? as an animal rescuer let me tell you- youre dead fucking wrong. animal prostitution and bestiality is a real issue, an estimate 2 percent of the population (and thats just whats reported, we all know animals cannot communicate their abuse) are offenders. from cases i myself have seen personally, the offenders were young men, autistic, and guess what else...ding ding ding. again this is of course not the majority of furries but my point is that i dont trust anybodies morals when it comes to the perception and treatment of others, especially those weaker and unable to speak. i have known a shocking amount of "normal" men who admitted to attempting or successfully raping an animal as a teen.

The sfw art often is extremely self indulgent and very objectifying of animals, drawing them like toys and little fairies that exist solely to bring them joy. i just never liked that kind of thing. i dont like that so many companies even get away with turning that shit into full on dopamine farm gambling addictions for kids. think like, webkins.

My parents used to give me animals like they were toys when i was young. They did not care what happened to them. All the media i was surrounded with as a kid reinforced this idea that animals are toys, toys that exist for self indulgent dopamine farming, even if i never would have said that, even if i would have gotten mad at anyone who outright said it. even if i thought this media made me an animal lover. it did not. and as a result, i saw many animals terribly die. yes, huge blame on my parents of course, but we dont live in a world that respects or cares about animals as it is and this type of content just doesnt help like people think it does. it doesnt teach you respect for animals. it teaches you to love animals the way you love candy. something you play with, and consume. its bad.

I want people to create sonas without using animal body parts as a way to convey tropes and archetypes that harmfully or just incorrectly skew peoples perception of real animals. i want to see animal characters that are neither anthro nor "feral" (toony animal body but anthro behaviors and thoughts) but are instead just written and portrayed like real animals and respected. i am not opposed to anime because while most of it is creepy, depicting toddler faced girls on childrens sexualized bodies, this disturbing objectification element isnt inherent to the style or subject matter and there are plenty of anime that depict people more normally. furry on the other hand is inherently objectifying and i wish drawing furry art was not so socially acceptable. its not like i think everyone should only draw animals exactly the way they look in reality, but you can stylize them in countless ways that arent anthropomorphizing.

i also hate fiction where theres a race of animal people and still a subclass of non anthro animals that are being exploited. it just furthers this idea that real animals dont matter, you can even pretend to be them while you kill and eat them if you want. i just really hate all of it. ive never seen any piece of furry media that doesnt disrespect animals and i think it inherently cannot be respectful to them.

mythical animal characters are a bit of a gray area. if they are depicted like real animals, just different (like a dragon that is clearly cat coded) that doesnt bother me really. the ones that are human coded with no animal parts based on real animals are usually fine too. its the grody and often sexualized blending of human and nonhuman animal that i dont like.

this is a very long and rambly rant but tldr:

-sexual furry art is zoophilia

-sfw furry art is still gratification based in objectification of others (and sfw art still can arouse people which is why its important to be mindful of subject matter no matter how youre drawing it, not a victim blaming thing, just saying accountability as a creator is important)

-therians are the same + delusion (and i oppose all delusions)

-i want to see respectful art/stories that portrays nonhuman animals as the complicated individuals they are, not as a humans costume, sidekick/toy, or human allegory -im sick of artists having 0 accountability in general and im sick of their actually braindead apologist fans (looking at you made in abyss season 2 enjoyers) and i have 0 tolerance for iffy material anymore, we need to start opposing fictional content with more intensity, the world of art has become like 50 percent soft cp and soft zoophilia and i for one hate that

[ghoodles]

A bunch of noir headcanons because im normal i promise

- Either really sensory avoidant or seeking, it depends on the day

- Either way he's still pretty affectionate, on the avoidant days its usually just words of affirmation but otherwise he's the type of person to like pat someone on the back or something (there's actual movie scenes in itsv that supports this)

- The strongest sense of justice you'll see. He sees an injustice and soon enough he's interfering

- He will find a way to get information out of you if you have it, he used to work for the press, and is a private eye, and he was damn good at BOTH

- The color of his webs depends on how long its been since his last revival. Darker usually means its been less time, and it usually lasts for like a month or two before it becomes white again

- Intrusive thoughts about violence that he's just slowly become desensitized to

- Used to be all bark no bite before he got his powers, would get his ass kicked a LOT, but now, i mean, he still gets his ass kicked sometimes, but he's more capable of holding his own

- He has fangs and claws, because, come on, he's literally been revived like multiple times by the spider-god, she's had to replace something

- Speaking on that, a lot of his blood is significantly darker than his natural color, because of the god having to replace it

- Actually figured out how to use futuristic technology pretty quickly

- In shattered dimensions, he definitely thought Madame Web's voice was the spider-god talking to him before he was like "hold on she doesnt sound like that, who the fuck are you?"

- Swears like a sailor, but doesnt like younger people doing it

- Probably screamed in agony at seeing all the colors for the first time, especially in brooklyn during the night, thats gotta cause so much eye strain, especially in a black and white world

- Actually could see color in his world, but they were pretty dull colors, almost monochrome, but not

- Most people cant see the difference though

- Has met Miguel before (shattered dimensions) and was absolutely just in shock by the change

- A god at cooking, shit at baking, he tried to make cookies and almost burnt down the house

- Sometimes just feels like a puppet for the spider-gods entertainment

- Religious trauma is strong with this man, i can tell

- Derealization episodes where it feels like he's just not there anymore

- Back to his blood being darker the more he loses it, he has a full on breakdown over it once he realizes it, because he percieves it as a sort of indicator that he isnt human anymore

- The most unintentionally father figure acting person you'll ever see, he doesnt realize how many people see him as a dad, and if he does he's just extremely confused

- Had his gun with him the entire time in ITSV, just didnt want to accidentally scare someone with it

- Has a pretty good relationship with the other spiders in Shattered dimensions, but ends up getting a little iffy about Miguel once he brings up the canon events

- He almost fought him after Miguel brought up his uncle Benjamin and all his other canon events (ive only read like two issues of the comics im SORRY)

- The most vibrant color he saw in his world was the color of his spider-sense; a red

- For this reason, he can point out red really quickly

- Increased senses, to the point where it can become a hindrance

- Constantly on alert, checks so many things to make sure that he's not being followed

- Despite being naturally weaker than all the spiders, he can punch clean through walls

- He'd be bruised and a bit scraped by it but otherwise he's perfectly fine