#and its just occured to me that i could actually

[nrc-asteryn-crew]

Seeing how close Casimir was to reaching back out to him, only to hesitate, and draw back, Mace couldn't help but frown. A little more, a little further, and he could have convinced himself it was but an indulgence, an action he couldn't avoid. His gaze lingered, but eventually was captured by what was being spoken.

He huffed a soft laugh, one that captured the slightest hints of a somber mood. Casimir shouldn't even be considering a wish for something like that. Not without knowing what kind of person he really was, that he could never escape from being.

"The past is the past, all that matters now is that we look into the future. There's plenty of hope out there for you." He mumbled softly, allowing Casimir the quiet environment to think with no inturruptions, so he could truely express his desires and his determination through these penned words.

Leaning forward slightly to watch the writing of the letter, the smooth glide of the pen across the page, he stayed sat in silence, fighting the urges to bolt and also sink into the ground simultaneously.

Mace felt his face grow warmer at all of the affirmations being directed at him. First, Casimir was saying that Mace was a 'dear friend' to him, and now that he was 'glad to have met him', and 'lucky to consider him a friend'? ...Just what had he allowed himself to do?

On the surface, he was flustered by the sweet notions, looking away with a light red hue over his cheeks, not quite knowing how to handle them, but deep down, he was scared. He wanted to voice reciprocation, try and decieve Casimir for a little longer, that he surely wouldn't ever regret meeting him, letting him in, but the words were stuck in his throat, they wouldn't budge.

He stared at the sealed envelope, and all it held, what it meant, then glanced at Casimir. ...Surely, just for a little while, he could be selfish. Until this sense of forboding went away, he told himself. Once Casimir had finished addressing it, Mace slumped against Casimir's side, leaning onto him, resting his head on his shoulder, eyes fluttering closed. Even if a little uncomfortable for him, it felt... nice. Warm.

Despite Casimir's words from earlier, he felt an unbridled urge to apologise suddenly wash over him. Apologise for all the misfortune he brings and is involved with, apologise for being so out of touch, so stuck in his own thoughts and feelings, apologise for not knowing quite how to express anything meaningfully personal quite right, apologise for having even having made himself a part of Casimir's life, despite how much Mace seems to mean to him.

A breathless 'sorry' under his breath would have to do. One that could be interpreted countless ways, had it even been heard. No one but him would understand the true meaning those five letters held, their crushing weight.

(...open!!!! Idk if anyone has any kind of interest in this arc as it slowly plays out but.)

A tall, elegant seeming young man wandered through the halls of Diasomnia, clearly on a mission. He seemed to take in his surroundings with a sense of wonder and fascination glimmering in his eyes, but said nothing as he observed.

Eventually, he seemed to take a turn down the first year wing, an odd sight for someone who was clearly a young adult.

He stopped by a room at the end of the hall, checking the number on the door before knocking.

"Casimir. Would you be so kind as to open the door?" The man asked in a monotonous voice, his expression devoid of any sort of emotion.

[transgenderer]

I like the theory that fertility decline in the US is largely a result of "high standards" in childrearing that are not really meaningful for the actual welfare of the kids and are more about weird parental status stuff. But I don't like how unempirical it is. Like idk how you would make it empirical. possible: long term study, you ask a bunch of childless 25 year oldsbtheir conception of what is obligatory for a child, and see if the ones with lower standards have more children in 10 years. Altho i think a lot of the weird cultural stuff comes from after you have the first kid, from within "parent culture". Maybe you ask every couple of years, see how the answers change with number of kids, and how that affects later number of kids

Anyway, in the absence of strong empirical evidence its interesting but kind of vacuous: it's not hard to come up with equally plausible arguments for other explanations, and without evidence to distinguish them, it seems pointless to dicuss. A graph that is maybe helpful, in being hard to explain

Thee fertility falling faster at the extremes, and slower at the already low middle, is kind of weird. Maybe there's a floor effect. Or maybe it's like exponential decay, change proportional to current value. The actually weird thing to me is how relatively uniform the change is. If it was just money, it seems you wouldn't see large decreases for the very rich. I guess parental expectations could have this very even effect, if you expect American culture to be basically uniform across income brackets. Also, worth remembering the population is concentrated in the left half of this graph, so that's where actual populafion effects are occurring

[nebrasska-alasska]

okay so ive spent the past three days excessively reading your fics and only this afternoon did i stop physically reacting every time i thought abt them because theyre SO FREAKING GOOODDDDDD!!!!! i actually cannot think straight bc of those gay ass hedgehogs omllll

i genuinely love your writing style like i can see and hear everything happening so clearly that it doesnt even occur to me im just reading????? everything seems so in character for everyone which is amazingggggg, also i love how long some chapters are, no pressure to keep it up but its just like a gift that never ends and i feel so sustained after?? the flow is incredible and it fills a hole in my soul i didnt know was there

i could ramble for yonks tbh but ill leave this here, just wanted to shoot over a token of praise for your incredible works!!!!! °*☆٩(◕ᗜ◕)و☆*°

AHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOOUUUUUUUU I'm so happy that you have been enjoying my fics! They have been so much fun to write, so it's lovely to know that they have been fun for you to read!!! <3

And I'm glad you enjoy the long chapters! They kind of happen whether I want them to or not HAHAHA you can literally see me go through the five stages of grief about how long they can get in the author notes of 'Silly Hats and Party Favors.' So yeah, I used to be super self-conscious about them, but I've grown to accept it and I am really grateful for your kind words of appreciation!

Thank you again for this lovely message!!! It really made my day :D

[falling-star-cygnus]

watching gay detectives and ballerinas isn't enough anymore, i gotta write gay time sleuths while doing it

Kisses for GuangGuang ao3 fic: here where Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi show their appreciation for their hardworking introvert, as well as one other

Cheek Kisses

"Qiao Ling-jie."

Lu Guang rounds the corner, a brown package held delicately between his palms. Her package. Probably.

"You really should have these delivered to your own address."

Yeah, her package.

Qiao Ling hops up from the couch, a little giggle tittering out of her chest. Ah, where did Cheng Xiaoshi find such a helpful best friend? How did he keep him?

She loves her brother, truly, but... well. He couldn't be called tidy by any sense of the word. Maybe that's why the two worked so well together..

A slob and a neat freak.

Talk about a match forged in hell.

"Why would I do that?" Qiao Ling asks, taking the package over to where her boys kept their scissors, "You always bring them right to me this way."

Huh.. where were they? She could've sworn they kept them- oh! Lu Guang slides them into her hand, prepared as he always is. Considerate as he always is.

"Because Cheng Xiaoshi broke the last one." he reminds her, standing snug by her side to peek at what she bought.

"....fair point."

Boo.

"Still not changing it though."

He sighs in defeat.

Hah.

Qiao Ling giggles triumphantly and rifles through packing peanuts to find her prize. Three weeks, it took three weeks for these to get here- can you believe?

Three weeks all for some ruffle socks.

Really, really cute ruffle socks though..

So it was worth it, actually. Mhm.

Before Lu Guang can slink away, probably to steal the couch in all its sunlit glory, she catches his sleeve. He always bruised so easily, like a peach..

"Thank you for bringing it in, Guangguang," let it always be known Qiao Ling knew her manners.

But she was still a big sister, and he was still her family by proxy [or in-laws], so~ she pulls him down to her level- shifting her grip to his chin.

MWAH

And leaves a big kiss on his cheek!

"aCK- do you have to do this every time!?" Lu Guang complains, honestly not fighting her all that hard.

At least, not as hard as he could. He bats at her shoulders and wrist and pushes at her with about as much strength as a newborn kitten, so so careful not to hurt her.

Or maybe he actually enjoys the affection.

Qiao Ling presses a few more pecks into his criminally soft cheek for good measure, leaving a bright pink gloss in her wake- strawberry flavored.

When she finally lets him go, the fair boy is flushed a bright embarrassed red. Like a cherry.

snap!

He goes stock still, startled by the shutter of her phone, before somehow getting even more flustered, "Delete that!"

The landlady dances out of the way as he lunges for her phone, already opening a chat to Cheng Xiaoshi.

"Qiao Ling!"

Hehe.

Neck Kisses

Xia Fei should really stop getting drunk at public functions.

Like actually. 

Laoban was going to kill him for it one of these days. 

Though, of course, that would only occur to him later. Of course it would never occur to him in the moment, no, that- you know, hanging off a near complete stranger was a bad idea! Especially when said stranger was prickly enough to put cacti to shame, and especially when you were supposed to be spying on his- his…

...friend..?

Boyfriend? Partner?

Secret third thing? 

Whatever.

Whatever Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi were was uniquely just.. that. Just- them. 

…huh.

Anyway-

Why couldn’t his shame work proactively? It always seemed to hit full force after the deed was done, and never ever before. It wasn’t fair, actually, shame should not operate on ‘hindsight is 20/20’ rules.

Fuckin’ hell- he didn’t even have 20/20 sight! Which really makes contacts a lifesaver in his line of work, all things considered.. 

As it stands, all Xia Fei can really do is thread through his memories- and try to gauge just how badly he’d messed everything up. 

It was late, he remembers that much, maybe… maybe just after the shoot with those two? Afternoon probably. Did that count as late? It should. 

All of them had gone for celebratory drinks, which Cheng Xiaoshi had been ecstatic about- Lu Guang less so- and… that’s where it started to get blurry.

Xia Fei had downed one… two.. four shots? Maybe more?

God please let it be more, he wouldn’t be able to handle it if he got shit-faced off four shots. 

But what happened after that?

How had he ended up koala'd around Lu Guang? And why did Cheng Xiaoshi look like he wanted to punch him?

There hadn't been a surplus of seats, not like there'd been when they'd met, so Cheng Xiaoshi and Xia Fei had gotten the last two available- with the fair featured man left leaning against his.. secret third thing.

Last two might've been a stretch, considering it was one weirdly thick booth that they had to sit thigh to thigh on to even marginally make it work.

"I got it at the shoot earlier. Take it." "Ehhh? But Guangguang-" "Sit. Down."

And that was that.

Until Xiaoshi had gotten up to get them more drinks.

Oh.

Oh no.

Now he remembers. He remembers pulling Lu Guang down to sit next to him, remembers throwing his arms around him and nuzzling at soft soft cheeks while blubbering out praises.

Oh god.

"No- no one's ever stood up for me beforeee! Lu Guang, you're a good guy!" "You're welcome, now get off me-" "Has anyone ever told you that you have really- hic- really soft skin?" "You're drunk, Xia Fei."

MWAH

He'd meant to kiss his cheek, his cheek! It wouldn't of been any more appropriate, sure, but it was easily explainable as friendly! So Xia Fei was a clingy drunk, so what!?

Easily explainable and apologized for.

Bu his mouth had landed on Lu Guang's neck.

Right under the hinge of jaw, closer to his ear than anything, but still undeniably HIS NECK.

The pale haired boy jolted under his arms, with a bitten off squeak! that would've been adorable in a different context, and addictive in a romantic one. Especially when his fingers subconsiciously clenched down on the fabric of Xia Fei's jacket.

If, you know, if he was the model's type.

Which he wasn't.

Not that he was bad-looking, of course! The fair haired man was unfairly pretty, downright ethereal even- but.. well..

Back on track-

All he remembers after that is nearly face planting onto the sticky floor... which- you know would've been deserved, considering Cheng Xiaoshi had chosen that exact moment to reappear.

He'd easily pulled Lu Guang into his own arms, away from Xia Fei's affections, and tucked him away. Tucked him right into his chest, with his own body between the two.

For a terrifying moment, one that very nearly sobered Xia Fei right then and there, there was something sinister in Cheng Xiaoshi usually friendly eyes.

Something cold.

And then it's gone, nearly, survived only by the slight thread of tension in his tone:

"I think you've had a bit too much to drink.. let's get you back to your home, yeah?"

Xia Fei, the one tucked into bed with a raging hangover, buries his aching head into his hands. Reaches for his phone.

He had some apologies to make.

Forehead Kisses

Lu Guang's alcohol tolerance should really be studied.

With his fair appearance, his delicate disposition, you'd think it'd only take a few drinks to get him three sheets to the wind. But no.

Nooo.

Cheng Xiaoshi was beginning to think it was impossible.

Like- maybe his fair friend had some Russian DNA somewhere in him, specifically in the part that processes liquor, and that's why he could down three beers and not even come out flushed.

It'd explain his fair skin too..

Hm.

He'll ask later. When Lu Guang wakes up.

Which... hopefully wouldn't be anytime soon. Cheng Xiaoshi sits down on their shared mattress, at his friend's back, as a heavy sigh swooshes from his lungs.

His best friend had curled toward the center, like a cat in a sun beam or a pillbug. Maybe they'd wake up in a cuddle.. if he was lucky.

They'd have to leave early tomorrow, though, before the sun would even begin to rise and probably before he could even enjoy it. That wouldn't be fun for anybody, morning person as he is, but especially not for someone like Lu Guang- who wasn't even lucid before 10am on a good day.

He'd been so stressed lately too...

Dark shadows lined the thin flesh under his friend's eyes, stark against his paleness. Darker than they'd been in months.

Unbidden, Cheng Xiaoshi's hand reaches out for Lu Guang's shoulder.

It's thin as ever, maybe a little more than normal, but familiar as he smooths the tension out of the limb- motions as known to him as his own name.

What's not known or common or usual is the way Cheng Xiaoshi finds himself levering his torso over his friend's sleeping frame- using that same hand on his shoulder to guide him to his back.

His breath ruffles fluffy white hair, fans over slightly parted lips.

chu..

And his kiss lands on the soft, soft skin of Lu Guang's forehead.

"Sleep tight.. Lu Guang. We'll be home before you know it."

[wemlygust]

To be honest I think most of my memory of that game is vibes. It's atmosphere, and little details, and the feeling of it. I loved the game, but I truly don't know which part of the plot you're referring to. I remember whodunit and how at the end, and I remember the political situation, and the union, and the racism everywhere, and the cryptid hunters, but I think I've forgotten a lot of the details of the "main" mystery plot (especially the middle of it) because that wasn't what I was playing the game for, really. The murder mystery was a motivator, but I was busy reading every book and getting encyclopaedia history dumps from the little encyclopaedia voice in his head (I don't remember what skill it was that gave that, but yeah), do a million side quests, and talking to everyone and their dog. Plus so many times the voices in his head would argue, and I'd be thinking about whatever that topic was. I do remember that the world was sexist but... Compared to the politics and the racism and substance abuse, that never felt like the overall focus, to me. It felt famililar to me, from all the times I've seen that kind of sexism depicted in just that kind of setting, and, apart from one character, I don't remember feeling like the game was dwelling on that or getting into details about it. It was familiar just becauseI'm used to seeing sexism depicted like this, but I'm less used to the other things that game depicted, especially to the extent that it did, so I was far more interested in all those other aspects. And the women in the game felt like real people to me (something I do remember and appreciate); the sexism felt like a part of the world, depicted in all its ugliness alongside all the other ugliness of human society, and not like it was sexism belonging to the narrative or to the creators, so I was steamed at the creators in a way that would make me remember either. I do remember feeling like there weren't enough women vs. the number of men to be realistic/well balanced, but, well. I'm unfortunately just used to putting up with that in games. That's a whole other bucket of worms though. If you had asked me to describe the game and its themes in my own words, I don't think it would have even occurred to me to mention sexism. Even though I am a person who tends to notice and mention sexism first thing, when I'm reviewing a game or a book or a movie. It's certainly ruined many a story for me before. I've loved media that explored it well before, too. This one just... didn't do that for me. It is a game that allows a shocking amount of variability between playthroughs, though. I only have played it once, so it's possible I just happened to miss a lot of the things you encountered and remember from the game? Just, the sheer volume of different dialogue and mental voice arguments you can get depending just on the stats you pick and the choices you make is bonkers. So maybe if you play one way, you can find a lot of mysogyny themes that I just didn't run into because I played a different way? But I felt like I understood the murder mystery plot fully, and I don't remember it as being something that happened because of mysogyny. Major spoilers under the break. For anyone who hasn't played the game, please don't read after this point.

In my playthrough, I remember there was a moment where I could have pinned the murder on a woman (the first one you encounter in the game) who was a red herring, rather than the actual murderer (the sad communist sniper); is it possible to do that, conclude she was the murderer, and have the game end on that note? I guess it must be? If someone ended the game thinking she was the murderer, then I could for sure see why that would be what you would be left thinking about after the credits roll. But I also wouldn't be surprised if the explanation for our different experiences is something else/different choices and dialogue/description seen through the game instead. Granted... If this is a game that genuinely lets you pin the blame for a murder on a woman who didn't do it, and let's you be wrong... Just the fact that the world setup creates that situation that allows that to happen supports your argument re. the importance of mysogyny in the game. To be clear I'm not saying people would be mysogynist for getting that ending, what I mean is that the game in that case could arguably be saying something about how hard it is to extract yourself from your own culture/society that is mysogynist. The characters can have the best of intentions, but still draw the wrong conclusions because their entire society is set up to push blame on the women, or to villainize women, and they can only manage to see outside the box if they happen to have the right combo of skills and choices at a crucial moment. Maybe? This is literally the first time I am having this thought about this game, though, so. Unbaked hot take disclaimer here. I also feel like I'm not explaining what I mean very well. And I'm not even 100% sure if the game even DOES allow the player to end with blaming the wrong person; I never looked up if there were alternative endings.

Anyways... Perhaps I'll try another playthrough soon, and see how different it ends up.

literally what is it about disco elysium that inspires so much genderbend art. there are many women and girls who are important to the narrative. there are canonical gay women. the story falls apart if harry is a cis woman. the entire murder mystery—the objective of the game—happens largely because of misogyny. what is going on

[acearohippo]

I love fandoms, especially witnessing what fans take away from source material and how fans interpret it based on their experiences. Not to mention the stark difference of interaction between new fans, casual fans, experienced fans, and long-term fans.

I say this because the SVSSS fandom has continuously fascinated me in insisting in discussions that there are parallels between Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe (tell don't show), but in their fanworks, I just see parallels between Luo Binghe and Yue Qingyuan (show don't tell).

And it's not even (fully) a case where they're blending character personalities because they want what the other dynamic has, it's just how the characters are based on canon in two different timelines.

All of this to say, perhaps original draft PIDW (NOT original!PIDW nor pre!SY PIDW which are completely different) was supposed to revolve around the dynamic between SJ and YQY vs SJ and LBH. Perhaps YQY was to be the last hour mastermind, the true foil to LBH.

And fandom is just circling this idea without realising it because, once again, the unreliable narrator that is SY has already convinced this fandom that any version of SJ has to be a/the villain, regardless if it's through his own actions or baseless rumours.

Warning, run-on sentence ahead.

I don't know, mans, but it's gotta mean something that LBH and YQY have such similar life beats of being orphaned and having a tough life but remaining kind/compassionate because they had someone to live for until they didn't which left them empty until they found (or refound in YQY's case) one (1) man to obsess over in an uncomfortably intrusive way with no regards for his feelings and rejections, eventually reaching a position as the most powerful being in existence with a huge caveat that their sword is 83% of that power and is slowly killing them which did nothing to soften said man of their obsession's into showing them kindness leading to the ultimate confrontation between the two in which only one could survive and keep their obsession, not that it mattered because neither of them got to experience his feelings reciprocated, except in another timeline where the same things are happening until their obsession suddenly stops rejecting their (still intrusive) advances even if he is acting a bit silly, but hey take advantage while you can and take advantage they did because now they have that reciprocated feeling (except one still "won" as he gets to keep him for himself) and be thankful that all it took was, in their perspective, a near death fever that drastically changed his personality and most likely left him crippled in some other way, preventing their obsession from not NOT needing them anymore, all-in-all fulfilling their desire to be relied upon again, hooray! 😋😁✌🏽

In all seriousness, at the end of the day people are going to draw connections between characters that fit whatever narrative they understood from the story. SVSSS fandom just seems to be trying to convince others of one narrative while believing on a deeper level of another narrative. It's amusing and makes following the fandom fun.

[rmbunnie]

I'm reading A Lonely Place of Dying and Alfred latching immediately onto Tim is NASTY work. Tim shows up and is like "I never aimed to be Robin! I mean I did karate my whole life to emulate Robin and just so happen to have sought you out and grabbed this costume in my size out from that case and really you should be calling me Robin just for now and let me come with you as Robin but I never dreamed it would specifically be ME being Robin. You have a lovely house and home btw :) Now go back to being 10." And Dick's understandably like "No I am a grown man now who are you" and Bruce is not here for this one, but later on is like "You aren't Robin, you're some kid dressed up like my dead son." But Alfred?

IMMEDIATELY Alfred is implying Dick was trying to subtly ask Tim to be Robin (simply not true in in NTT 61, when the implication is made, although he changes his mind in Batman 442) and that Bruce should be grateful for this young man's profound bravery and immense natural skill and maybe show him a few pointers or something idk we'll see :) Like let's be clear, the idea that Tim didn't want to be Robin is simply not part of this story outside of like two lines of dialogue where he's like "oh I didn't consider it could be me!" after which he immediately goes "Wow so you ARE gonna let me be Robin right?" the second he sees the opportunity. The guy essentially makes himself Robin once Dick makes it clear he isn't gonna be. Dick tells Tim nobody should be at first (until he changes his mind) but is ignored because Tim doesn't get why and goes with what he understands, his own stance.

I'm of the opinion that the whole "Tim understands that being Robin is an arduous task full of suffering from the start and chooses to bravely yet sadly martyr himself for the cause" thing I see sometimes is strongly disproven, at least in the beginning of his Robin career, by his "Batman NEEDS a Robin (to love and care for and to watch out for him in return :) )" line of reasoning, his subsequent willingness for Anybody to be Robin whether or not it was him (unless he was consciously okay with other children suffering for his benefit which I find really hard to believe,) and his active glee at anything involving being Robin and persistent smiling pursuit of Doing So against Batman's strong disapproval, because he hasn't officially said no (he did several times, but you can't blame a kid for being excited.) Like, I think he said he never dreamed of being Robin just because having a kid come in begging to replace Batman's dead son because it was a personal aspiration would be extraordinarily rude and arrogant and they wanted people to like this one. He was NOT in any way adverse they just couldn't make him THAT presumptuous, and he is by nature of what he's doing already moderately so.

But say it was true, that Tim was actively opposed to being Robin? Alfred would be pushing this shit HARD onto this thirteen year old kid like what the fuck bro. And "From what Master Richard said, he follows your orders." is HEINOUS but let's not get into that.

[beatcroc]

really really old sketch i still like enough to post, from that fleeting month of insanity in 2017 when i thought i would try to do commissions sometime [i didnt. i never have.]

[badnewswhatsleft]

listening to the none of this rocks audiobook and joe's inflection choices are . quizzical

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 24: FFS (Things I Won't Get)

I have something terrible to confess, which is that at first I was not much of an FFS fan, at all. I actually actively DISLIKED most of what I've know from them at that point, which was what the Spotify algorithm seemed very content to throw at me whenever possible until it eventually forgot about it. Well, nothing wrong with that I guess, but I also want to think that most of my initial aversion to this project came from how I was still pretty, uh, close-minded in a sense when it comes to music at the time (and I'm saying all this as though FFS is even THAT much of a departure from Sparks, which it's really not? But maybe I just I saw it differently back then, which I guess is also fair).

But yeah anyway, I had a huge change of heart a couple months later, decided that all these songs are incredibly cool actually and I'm a huge fan now. This is a very solid collaboration and album and I'm so glad this happened. Like, it really is among my very favourite things from Sparks that I barely ever think about in such terms for some reason. Because I've noticed that I treat FFS more like a compliation than an album maybe? Cause yeah I'm pretty sure this is the only album where I have 30-40+ plays on several songs and only around 5 or so on a couple others. And I'm not super attached to the order of the tracklist either, and I'm mostly saying this because I've been a 100% albums over playlists type of person for the longest time. I will listen to the whole album start to end even if I don't like everything on it. It's like, well, if I like the whole thing enough to revisit it, then too bad, I'm sitting through it all until I can enjoy everything on it to at least some extent.

Overall, to me this album embodies that mid-2010s electro pop / indie rock energy that I love very deeply, in the sense that it feels appropriate to think, had I known about it back in the day, I feel like I would have LOVED it and it would have been my personal soundtrack of those early middle-school years of my life (or even earlier, I have this one note of me saying that "FFS is so primary school-core it hurts", so. While it didn't exist in the world yet at that time it still FEELS like that time, and I absolutely love it when music reminds me of a period in my life from around its release even if I was absolutely not aware of it yet at that point. It's like this source of free nostalgia that you didn't know would be attainable from this particular place.)

Also I will just say that it's ENTIRELY because of FFS that I eventually decided to give FF a go as well, and now I'd consider them one of my favourite bands, so, well, heck yeah to that!!

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Johnny Delusional: oh yeah, I think it's important to note that it was especially THIS song that I found annoying as heck in the beginning. I thought it got very schematic and predictable at points (the long pause after the bridge especially I found to be so.... ahhhh come on, I could see this coming from a mile away!!) All of, which... well, maybe that was still a valid point in a way, but who cares since I love this song now, absolutely and completely and it's just soooo replayable. Every day is a good day to listen to Johnny Delusional a dozen of times

Call Girl: huge huge fan of the intro on this one and that whole wobbly synth sound it has

Dictator's Son: I really like that little guitar riff moment during the bridge

Police Encounters: notably the only FFS song among those early ones for me that I really liked from the start. And it's the ultimate jam, it's incredible how instantly happy and energized this song always makes me feel even after so many listens

Save Me From Myself

So Desu Ne: maybe the biggest offender (positively) when it comes to that "primary school-core" sound. Those cutesy synths are so important to me personally

The Man Without A Tan: realized quite regrettably late how much of a banger this is

Things I Won't Get: you know how it is with me and Russell's falsetto

So Many Bridges

[viviwoofs]

It's crazy how much I want and crave sex but then when sex happens it's like. Uhm. Nvm can I just blow you instead.

[robotpanties]

uuuuuhhh no reason just wanna see the robot get preggers because nobody is really taking advantage of the narrative consequences of the robots of ULTRAKILL having fleshy bits inside them (in my humble opinion hahahaha...hahaha....hah....). Anywhosen also a sucker for general Bad End especially when it involves a psycho-sexual (breeding) binding to a greater entity but also I wanna see the murder-robot get knocked up. And the galaxy brain bit of this is instead of calming down they just get Worse.

YEAH NO ONE REALLY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THAT. and well i mostly assumed a very small percentage of people actually want to breed the robots like that which is why.

also i don't think this as a bad end, but a bad path that can lead to some other.. inch resting things (my stupid ass is trying to craft a plot with horror and drama from this path and how it'd change the story slightly despite knowing I will never get around to writing it in fic form except tiny excerpt ideas and art)

also i have so much to say abt the 'it doesn't calm down it just gets worse' bc its So true

[asthedeathoflight]

Had a dream last night i was wrong about what my tumblr url was. I thought it was asthedeathoflight but then i was looking closer as my tumblr and it was actually something else. It was as the (something) of light and i dont remember what the word was but it certainly wasnt death. And then i was humiliated because all my mutuals had been watching me refer to myself as asthedeathoflight and that wasnt even actually my url but everyone was too polite to question it.

[joelletwo]

FUCKED UP: i can muddle my way thru reading 80% of hiragana by memory now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

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