#and its a role i love ngl

[arisingonmorningsinnocent]

the way i just spent all morning mentally preparing myself for a project kickoff meeting on zoom that ended up Literally taking 4 and a half minutes... incredible, great job team. but the meeting's over now! and i have a new paid internship!

[impossible-rat-babies]

my squishiest most specialist lil guy

[mangotelevision]

In my diaries rewrite Katelyn and Lucinda's stories are tied to each other a little more, and it's something that as an audience we can see and understand but the characters fail to recognize until the very last possible moments.

I'm rewatching diaries rn so I might come back to this if it conflicts with preexisting lore from the later seasons.

- rewrite under cut because it's long sorry

In my heart I want Katelyn to get the menphia relic but I know logically it's fucking Lucinda's so in my rewrite I'm trying to sort of make it both?? Because I can't let go of Katelyn with the relic- menphia was literally based off of and designed from Katelyn so like I want her to have the relic so bad 😔

So Lucinda has the relic by blood, she's a descendant of menphia and it's not that distant because her mother is hyria who (in my rewrite) is menphias daughter. It's the whole reason why hyria and Irene have their little bonding thing because hyria is like the last thing she has left of the divine warriors.

But Katelyn was made for the relic. Elizabeth is in my rewrite because she's too interesting of a character to leave out ngl. So Elizabeth was trained by Hyria, she's a witch and a powerful one and was a student under the daughter of a divine. It was assumed she was going to be gifted the relic once her training was complete, because Hyria already said she didn't want it, relics only brought trouble. But Elizabeth was getting caught up in the wrong crowds, learning magic hyria refused to teach her from other sources (the demon warlock), and Elizabeth is very much a "magic doesn't have morality" kind of person. Hyria refused to give her the relic it was a whole thing- big fight it was crazy, ended with the demon warlock banished and Elizabeth basically in magic jail by the elves for a long ass time because they deemed her too dangerous to be kept free.

Eventually she gets out because of course she does, I haven't decided if I want Zoey to be involved with this or not because I like the idea of the reason she got exiled in the first place being the fact that she played a part in Elizabeth being set free but I have to play around with that idea a little more. Something that ties back to her barrier magic and her displeasure of using it.

Elizabeth is free and she's like well if I can't get the relic I'll make someone that can. So she finds Eric who's from tu'la and has fire magic given to him from wyverns, the same type as menphias magic (it's the whole reason he's a good black smith he's basically fireproof) and whatever other box he checked and just has a like six kids with him because one of them has got to have both of their magic. And Katelyn does! So she trains her to be a relic wielder, just trains the fuck out of her until the elves catch wind of it and Elizabeth basically bails and Katelyn gets sent to Okhasis to fill the role of Juror by Zane, he needs those knowledgeable in relics, she is useful, she is a weapon after all.

Katelyn was created to fill a role, she's the perfect vessel of a divine and yet the relic will always pick the blood relation. The relic will always go to Lucinda.

[nudelherz]

well at least the terrible fear of being to needy and attention seeking keeps me in check. at least i got that going for me. coolio baboolio.

[agayconcept]

.

[puppyeared]

this guy is HOMOSEXUAL

[skitskatdacat63]

Not be screaming Insanely to you about strollonso again but I have thots. Thinkings. And yeah.

So like I love how everyone expected them to not get well w each other yk like people THOUGHT they would be on each others throats, and nando would commit warcrimes against lance etc etc(Especially after last years Austin incident yeahh....)WHILE they were actually ALREADY on good terms in 2021(the recent gifs that showed lance being like a teenager w crush ykyky)(plus I do remember photos of them interacting just casually) and before that yk when nando congratulated lance on his first podium in baku(which I'll never get out of my head gladly)

And like NOW they are also so well w each other ESPECIALLY now that they are teammates. And its NICE and they are COMFY plus WHAT HAPPENED IM BAHRAIN OFC. And now wih nando casually making lance photos..they are so comfortable. Like aughh.

Thats all I guess please add anything you have in mind aswell 😭😭

Well I think it's funny because, as you mentioned, one of the only pre-2023 moments of strollonso I remember distinctly is when they had the collision during the US gp 😭 and I feel like everyone saw that and were like "oh god Nando is gonna kill him when they're teammates", and then a similar situation kinda happened again at the very first gp when Lance hit the back of Nando but when Nando found out, he's just like "okay :)"

I wonder though sometimes what they'd be like if the AMR23 was like the prev one. Because I do think Nando does actually like Lance, but also I don't think you can deny that Nando's podiums are indeed a buffer. Kinda like him being like "anything you can do to me is literally nothing because I have a great car and I'm doing better than I have in years", like bro is on top of the world after so long, and it feels like he's gotten a second wind where nothing can really touch him or bother him.

I hate how everyone uses that "Lance is the owner's son, so of course Fernando will treat him nicely" argument. Like yeah that's a factor, but I feel like I see it more as Nando appreciating Lance bcs he factors into why Nando has a good car and a good team in the first place. I think tho my fav strollonso plot line is Nando being like "ugh ill put up w him I guess", but then he ends up having such a good car and finds out in the process that Lance is more than he ever considered(like in this fic ) And also the narrative of Nando being a very different, supportive teammate as compared to most other Lance has had. I like that they probably came into being teammates with certain assumptions, but now look at how comfy they are with each other!! Enough to tease each other is such public ways, like Lance saying certain things in interviews and Nando with his socmed. It's very fun!

BUT YEAH OH MY GOD THAT CLIP OF THEM WITH LANCE BEING SO TOUCHY AND SHOVEY WITH HIM!!!! people need to look back at older clips like that and the others you mentioned before they make assumptions about why they are the way they are >:(

[inutaffy]

i'm going to bite you. hard. not in a kinky way but in the animal that's excited or scared way. also your opinions on queer discourse are always correct and your posts of things that i'm not in a fandom for are very lovely i love seeing that uh. girl with the guy with ears and white hair...i watched like one episode of that in anime club in middle school (yeah) . um anyways pretty cool and strange in a good way

EXCITED OR SCARED WAY

[todayisafridaynight]

#i genuinely do think he's naturally one of the cutest dudes on earth he just has a face like that yk#was very funny watching kinpika and seeing him play this serious character and He Did An EPIC Job Dont Get It Twisted but still...#what are you doing here... you should be off somewhere being silly...

FUNNIEST POSSIBLE TAGS BECAUSE AT THE TIME I WAS STARTING THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE TRAVEL NURSE. AND. PLEASE WITNESS MY JOURNEY

I've redacted things so as to not spoil ENTIRELY just in case but. Literally Arakawa Nurse AU TO ME I'm SORRY it's how you start off thinking he's just gonna be this cute silly old man but As It Turns Out he's kind of a sicko [affectionate] with an incredibly strong morals... not TOO much of a sicko just enough to be chilling... and no one gets what the fuck he's trying to do up until he explains it and then it's like Oh Okay You're Insane... But It Worked Out So I Guess It's All Good... And also tell me this is not an Arakawa And Ichiban Type Interaction...

Perfect role for Nakai I sweaaar 'cause he gets to be cute And serious And a weirdo And--

Also just fun because I've mentioned how Tsutsumi would want to be a lumberjack if he could switch jobs on a whim like in Y:LAD, but Nakai said he'd want to be a doctor so he could help people more tangibly than he can as an actor... it's like that bit in The Deer King when Van chops wood yk it just makes me smile...

So anyway... first show I'll be subbing myself since I'm very much hooked and the only option right now is to machine-translate subs to English...

ALL OF THAT ASIIIIIDE very very very excited for the Ikumi fic :]]]]]] WHICHEVER COMES FIRST, THAT OR MY NEXT ASK... SEE YOU THEN...

CRYINNGGGG HES PERFECT..... ALSO WEEPING AT THE DR KANZAKI BIT WHY IS HE LITERALLY JUST

ABSOLUTELY EXCITED to see this if you share the subs..... im making grabby hands........

[lemonsourcrisis]

OMG I WISH I WATCHED SOMETHING WITH LUKE IN SOONER DJDHDJDJSKSJDBD

[qoldenskies]

I know you said you are a Donnie enjoyer yeah he’s awesome I love him. I love all the guys actually it’s just the sunset duo are my favs. What’s your opinion on the sunset duo I mean Raph and Mikey as individuals or as a duo

I AM VERY MUCH A SUNSET DUO ENJOYER THEYRE GREAT!!!!! i have a sep!au fully plotted out that centers them as one of the Big Dynamics (ive been waiting for an excuse to ramble about it so maybe later. wears button that says Please Ask Me About My Work),,, i dont have a ton to say but i feel bad for people who favor them because this is a very disaster twins centered fanbase from what i've observed LMAO. raph and mikey enjoyers you deserve more food i am so sorry......

(more in the tags because that accidentally happened and im not transferring it over to here LMAO)

[papasmistakeria]

No because now I can't watch Chowder without constantly seeing Barclay everytime Mung speaks and vice versa

[imoncloud7]

suna rintaro headcanons

general:

has a meme folder in his phone with over 2000 pics & videos and uses them as reaction photos frequently

some are even of the twins LOL

has a google drive of all the school fight videos and charges people for them

hes actually really smart but chooses not to try in school?

suuuper close with his little sister

she calls him all the time when hes away at school (since hes not from hyogo)

they play roblox together every night

they play those princess roleplay games (fantasia) and a lot of dress to impress

hes literally a top model by now

he really like indie films esp horror movies

has never picked up a book in his life

he owns wired apple headphone for the "aesthetic"

the twins clown him for them and flex their airpods

hes an avid wearer of the uniqlo airism tee

has a silver chain he never takes off

lowkey would be a stalker and have burner ig and tiktok accounts

nonchalant king

literally hes so mysterious and girls looove that

he ran an anonymous account on instagram rating all the water fountains at school

had a lot of followers ngl

he takes his bed very seriously

like weighted blanket, silk sheets, the weighted dino stuffed animal from target, fresh water by his bed, magnesium and melatonin at night

doesn't let anyone sit in it with outside clothes on

neevvverrrr lets the twins sit in it

definitely uses "yh" when hes texting (absolutely tf not)

as a boyfriend:

he was plottin on you since the start

but bc hes nonchalant af you had no idea

hes really perceptive so he could kinda tell you reciprocated those feelings

so he took that as his sign and he confessed first

he was super casual about it

you guys were walking back to the dorms after his practice one day and he just kinda dropped it on you

"yo can i tell you something"

LMAOOOO

he was kindddd of awkward about it

but its ok!! now youre dating!!!

his love language is def physical touch

this man takes his cuddling time SERIOUSLY

youre one of the only people he frequently lets in his bed

you guys stay up till 2 am cuddling and giggling with one another about stupid shit

so many sneaky sleepovers (the dorms dont usually allow opposite genders in the same room)

yall r one of those couples that sit in the corner and talk shit about everyone in the room like whispering in each others ears and laughing

esp about the twins

you two have a very long streak of word hunt going back and forth

you guys also send a lot of voice memos ranting back and forth

his sister loves you!! she doesn't have an older sister, so you fill that role. only so much that suna can do for her

she texts you a lot too lol

you join them in playing roblox every night

so many 2 am convenience store runs

[angel-eyes05]

to leave the warmest bed i've ever known

pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 

summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office

warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death

word count:  4.1k

notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.

You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.

Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.

Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.

You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.

When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 

How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.

Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.

The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.

The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.

Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.

That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.

“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.

“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.

“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.

The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.

“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.

“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”

Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.

He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”

He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.

“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”

You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”

He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 

“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.

Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.

First though, you had to find Gwen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao

NEXT CHAPTER

[omgthatdress]

Barbie made her debut in 1959. The way she was sold then is a little different than the way she's sold now. These days, individual Barbies come with their own unique looks & usually some kind of unique function or accessories. You can buy clothes separately, but those looks are still secondary to the expectation of buying a lot of Barbies. Back in the day, you bought the one Barbie and then bought her clothes separately. This is why back then Barbie came with a bunch of friends and always came wearing a swimsuit.

The oft-memed origin story for the classic Barbie is that she was modeled on a German sex doll named Lili, which is only partially true. In the 50s, most dolls available for girls were baby dolls that primed girls for being a wife and mother. Fashion dolls were a thing but they were generally more reserved for adults.

Ruth Handler, who co-founded Mattel with her husband and served as its president from 1945-1973 (#girlboss much?), got the idea of making an adult doll for girls when she'd see her daughters playing with paper dolls. Instead of playing with babies, they chose teen-aged and adult paper dolls and played fantasized versions of adulthood. Then, on a trip to Germany, Ruth saw a Lili doll in a store, and asked her daughters what they'd think of playing with a doll like that. Apparently, they liked the idea.

Lili the doll wasn't an inflatable fuck doll. She was based on a popular comic strip character Lili created by Reinhard Beuthien and published in the Hamburg-based Bild Zeitung. Lili was a buxom gold-digger seducing her way through the wealthy men of post-war West Germany.

The comic was definitely adult-oriented, and the doll it created was a popular bachelor party gag gift.

The introduction of a doll with breasts did cause *some* controversy, but it was more pearl-clutching rather than tremendous cultural outrage. Barbie was actually an immediate hit. She fit in very well to late 50s ideals of femininity. I've heard it said before that parents liked her because she helped little girls get into the beauty, fashion, and level of grooming that she would need to catch a husband. IDK if that was intentional, but it seems to fit very well.

I don't want to get into whether or not Barbie is this huge feminist icon or not because, well, she's a toy. I think Ruth Handler was an incredibly smart businesswoman who saw a market demand and met it. Barbie is about the power of fantasy and imagination, and anything that people see in her are the things they want to see in her.

In her incredible multitude of careers, she also holds up an impossible and toxic standard of beauty. Mattel has always been very aware of Barbie's image. I'm pretty sure that the reason Mattel hated "Barbie Girl" so much wasn't because it was wink-wink sexual, but because it nailed the popular stereotype of the time that Barbie was this fake, plastic bimbo who was an unhealthy role model for girls (go listen to Aquarium, now!).

The recent years of Barbie taking on a more empowering, feminist, and diverse lean is because Mattel is simply correcting course and keeping up with the times. Honestly, they've done a very good job of it, but I'm not going to kid myself into thinking they're doing anything other than maximizing profits.

I love me some Barbie but I was always an AG girl, ngl. However, I think Barbie and her cultural context are still incredibly fascinating and worth taking a look at.

[katiesyellowcardcollection]

i’ll drive, i’ll drive all night - part 3

katie McCabe x teen!McCabe

(young sister)

pt1, pt2

social media

Trigger warnings: lots of talk on sexual assault, minor self harm and suicidal thoughts references, poor mental health, please don’t read if you’re not in the correct headspace for it.

AN: Again not the best writing more of a trauma dumb ngl, unedited.

you became aware of Katie’s hands running through your hair, then you hear the soft mumbling of katie and caitlin, talking about you, probably. you don’t want to open your eyes and face the aftermath of what you told Katie, but you do.

Noticing your eyes slowly fluttering open she smiles up at you, giving your resting shoulder a squeeze.

“hiya darling, you alright?”

not wanting to speak just yet you nod, you and katie both know your lying, your not actually okay, it weird now that she knows now that she knows your lying now that she knows how unhappy you truly are, You used to be happy, you used to wake up with a smile, you used to enjoy school, you used to be excited for the day ahead of you but now as you wake up laying on Katie you hate it, you’ve hated it for awhile now, waking up. you don’t want to carry on with the day, you don’t want to talk about your feelings, you want to sleep and you don’t really want to wake up again.

“shall we get some lunch? we can go to nando’s if you’d like? me, you and cait? or we can stay here you pick sweetheart.”

come to think of it you were hungry, you hadn’t since yesterday morning and you wanted to spend time with both Katie and caitlin.

“can we go to nandos please?”

your answer causes Katie to break into a massive smile, your not to sure why your simple answer makes her so happy but your glad nevertheless having been the cause of tears just hours ago.

~~~~

“Do you really have a black card for nandos?”

This causes Katie to break out into yet another of fit of giggles this time caitlin joining in with her.

“YES, i have literally shown you it five hundred times it’s real im a nando’s celebrity y/n!”

she lets out enthusiastically looking at caitlin to back her up.

You laugh at her, really laugh then not a fake laugh but a real belly laugh for a moment you feel glimpses of the old you coming back, the happy carefree you.

“who would’ve fought that the girl cooking the chicken 10 years ago gets it for free now”

She nods happily “it’s mad when you think about it”

“i’m really proud of you kats” you tell her honestly, you were, you were so incredibly proud of your big sister and what she’s made for herself, its hard to even put it in to words, not only the incredible footballer and role model she is for young girls but also for who she is as a person, you couldn’t ask for a better big sister.

“and i’m proud of you y/n”

This causes you to smile at her again, you loved it when people said they were proud of you, especially your sister, it was kind of like a drug to you, you’d always crave the praise of your sister even as a little 5 year old girl you wanted her praise.

That journey to St albans Nando’s was a memorable one, full of laughter, pure real laughter, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d laughed that much, for the 20 minutes there you felt happy, truly happy.

Eventually you pull into the car park, getting out the car caitlin immediately hatches onto you, swinging your arms around making you both giggle as she does so, whilst Katie trails behind moaning about being cold.

“what you gonna get then kiddo” caitlin asks as you both sit down into the booth.

“i know what she wants she’ll have a chicken wrap Cait” Katie’s says overhearing the conversation.

“hm nah i don’t want that.” you tell her seriously, this causes Katie to frown “but you’ve had since you were like 5” she lets out dramatically causing you to break out into another fit of giggles “I’m just kidding obviously i want that.”

~~~

besides the morning you had had a good day, a day full of laughter and messing around and being yourself, it was weird but it felt good, laughing being happy like your usual self.

Getting yourself into bed you heard a knock at your door knowing it was most likely Katie you call her in.

“hey kiddo you all good? did you have a nice afternoon” she asks you coming to sit next you on the bed.

“yeah it was fun” you smile up at her honestly, she smiles at your words, tucking a loose hair behind your ear.

“i’m glad you had some fun, we still need to talk though, i need to know what happened at school and what happened in the bathroom last night kid.” she lets out studying your face for a reaction, you don’t give one you knew she would have to ask eventually.

“the school isn’t really that deep honest these boys were just making fun of me about erm what i told you i don’t know how they know but anyways my teacher got mad at me when i tried to explain so i just ran off im sorry” you tell her a look of sincerity written all over your face, “ they made me so angry and mam was angry at me for leaving so i don’t know i just like i saw red and i was so mad i don’t even remember getting on a flight its like it’s blocked out from my memory I’m really sorry katie.”

Katie just nods in understanding, wrapping her arms round your shoulders pulling you into her side.

“you don’t need to apologise sweetheart, i understand now why you reacted in the way you did and i’m not mad anymore, ill never be mad at you for that, we can get you help now thy you told me, i’m really proud of you for opening up to me y/n i know that took a lot of courage” she tells you softly before continuing “i understand what your going through is incredibly tough on you and i don’t blame you for the way you’ve been trying to cope with it, i get why you’ve been acting out and i promise you i’ll be here every step off the way to get you back happy again.”

For the first time since it happened, since you had started spiralling downwards you felt understood, like someone finally got you, it made you feel warm inside, it made you feel loved again, you’d hadn’t felt loved in a while, you knew you were loved but it hadn’t been shown recently with the way you had been behaving.

“there’s um something else i need to tell you.” you tell her deciding that if you wanted to get better, if you wanted to be your old self you need to start being honest with her “ in the bathroom yesterday i wanted to um well recently when things have been really bad or like when the memories wouldn’t go away i hurt myself it makes everything stop, i want everything to stop Katie please don’t be angry” you sob out looking down at the floor scared of her reaction, her disappointment in you.

“hey hey kidda look at me, breathe your alright, it’s okay darling i understand it’s difficult to go through all the emotions of what happened to you alone im not angry ill never be mad at you for trying to cope with what happened, never.” she says gently that familiar irish accent thick as ever, gently rubbing your back as she says so.

“it’s just sometimes all i can’t feel, hear and see is him and it’s the only thing that stops it i-i just need to feel in control again and not his control.”

You think your sister cries at your confession, you can’t be entirely sure because she wraps you up even tighter then before your head on her shoulder and your own tears are clouding your vision but your fairly certain she’s crying, you feel bad then, you’ve made your sister who rarely cries, cry multiple times in the past 24 hours because of you.

“M’ really sorry kat, i didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“look at me y/n”

slowly you move away from your sisters tight grasp and look up to her to prove your listening.

“you don’t ever have to apologise for how you chose to cope, you did what you could in the situation you were put it in, i’m angry and upset at the world thats put baby sisters through so much, but you never have to apologise to me, i promise you it’s not your fault.”

She sounded so genuine, so caring and so patient that you couldn’t help but start to believe her words, you think that you’ve been needing that reassurance, someone to tell you that you didn’t choose for this to happen, to remind you that your doing your best.

“thank you Katie.” is all you can whisper out, still feeling fairly overwhelmed from your entire day, talking about your feelings wasn’t something you were used to.

“get some sleep y/n, i’ve got you, we’re all right behind you me, cait, mam, da, your siblings, my teammates we’ve got you alright we’re going to help you, i love you so much goodnight sweetheart.” she says softly getting up of the bed and going to turn the light off before turning around quickly “and if you need me you come and get me okay? i’m right next door.” you nod in agreement, not really sure yourself if you’ll get help when you actually need it.

“Goodnight Katie tell caitlin i said goodnight to please.”

She nods before closing your bedroom door and walking back down the stairs.

~~~

As your lay there in the dark, Katie and caitlin long gone to bed, you can’t help but go back to that night, the memories seem more vivid this time, more real like it was happening again, like you were that vulnerable girl in the bathroom that night all over again, truth to be told you were terrified, your entire body was shaking from head to toe, you were loosing consciousness of your surroundings, you were back in that tiled bathroom, back where everything went wrong.

your scratching at your eyes, at your face and at your ears anything to make it stop, make it stop seeming so real.

You can hear the rip of your dress his zipper everything all over again, you can’t hear katie’s words trying to get through to you, you hear caitlin talking to Katie, your just stuck there back there, until someone grabs your shaking body, forcing you to open your eyes and look at them.

“Y/n hey listen to me it’s me, your not there your at Katie’s house your sister Katie with caitlin, your in london not dublin, breathe for me darling”

Katie’s sudden actions and thick accent pulls you out, bringing you back to the bedroom.

you pull your legs up to your arms, your small body still shaking with fear.

“can i touch you y/n?”

you want to say yes, you so desperately want her hug, want her familiarity and comfort but you can’t bring yourself to speak, instead you decide on a simple nod.

you’d hadn’t previously noticed Caitlin’s presence, only realising she’s there when

she leaves the room, leaving the door ajar.

You don’t say anything and Katie doesn’t say anything she just holds you, she holds you tight kissing your head as she does whispering words into your ears.

Caitlin walks back into the room awhile later, a glass of water, tissue and paracetamol in hand.

“i’ll leave this here for you kidda, i wasn’t sure if you’d have a after so i brung some paracetamol for you.” she tells you before turning to katie “i’ll go back to our room love, i love you both so much” she says before turning around and back out the door.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Katie asks you sweetly.

you think that you do, you know it will help to let it out and tell Katie how you were feeling.

“i don’t know what happened it’s l-l-like i was right there and it was happening all over again it was so scary Katie i’m so scared.”

“it’s okay sweetheart, take a deep breathe for me, copy my breathing” she tells you sensing your breathing becoming more rapid again.

You watch her chest like you did last time, following as it moves up and down slowly, feeling your breathing pattern return to normal again you look back up to Katie

“ you need help kiddo, professional help would you give it ago?”

your hesitant, you don’t want help but you also do help, you think the part of talking about your feelings and what happened to a professional is what scares you, but you don’t want to feel like this forever, you think know talking helps so you very hesitantly agree.

“i’m so proud of you y/n, shall we try fall back to sleep? i’ll stay right here with you yeah?”

nodding slowly, you get back down under the covers, katie wraps her arms around you before giving you a kiss on the head.

“i love you sweetheart.”

as you lay there hearing katie’s soft snores you think that maybe you could be happy, maybe eventually you could be your old self again, you could kick a ball around and love school again, your fairly certain that with Katie’s help and a professional you could get there again and be that carefree little girl who ran wild with a mischievous grin, eventually.