#and it's so fucking lonely
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#every time a character does the whole “talk softly and reassure the dangerous person” thing while also walking ominously towards them ughh#it drives me absolutely nuts. like. you're trying to talk them down from paranoia while you're threateningly walking towards them?#someone does that to me and I'm shooting them at least in the leg or stabbing with whatever makeshift spear I've manufactured#anyway. criminal minds is getting real annoying with the whole pathologizing of people.#like. guy shows signs of being very good at torturing people and they go “ah yes.. a pure sadist” or whatever the fuck#I get that it's shitty crime drama stuff but still. ugh.#I just. I fucking hate when people take the obviously wrong route when talking to mentally destabilized people.#like. people are shit at talking to suicidal people. are shit at talking down irrational fears. people are shit at talking down paranoia.#I hate how people don't fucking know how to interact with freaks I hate how people don't know how to interact with me#everyone acts on their own level without understanding what it's like in any way#and so everyone just projects their own reality onto you without performing any sort of empathy or exercising any sort of understanding#and I want to scream so fucking loud#you're all living in a cotton candy world and your words disintegrate in my humidity#and it's so fucking lonely#and my mind has been clear this past week. the autistic need for pressure satisfied by this prescription pushing on my brain#and I can feel the cogs turning. the wheels and pins and linked gear trains and drive shafts and traction band motors.#all the parts of my brain churning around and I can't get close because the heat from my motor makes my hood hot to the touch.#I burn your hand as you try and press your palm against my flanks.#only think saddle and tack make contact. strict guidelines and harsh rules to govern me.#when I am free I buck and I shift gait and I drag you under too-low branches#also. compared to Hannibal I can basically listen to criminal minds as a podcast. none of the visuals really contribute anything to the show#like. feels very shallow
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Sketching while streaming s5...
Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)
Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:
(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)
#yes I realize Jon and Martin are in different fucking art styles let me live#do not accuse me of being AI this difficulty drawing hands is all natural I worked hard drawing for years just to fucking suck at it#update I listened to 170 I heard it was devastating but my ass was LAUGHING#poor martin but omg me and my buddy had everywhere at the end of time in the background and shit was so funny#he forgor 😭💀#it was emotionally devastating at the end tho Jon suggesting he stay there um btich NO?!#Jon the literal Lonely is not worse tham being around you get a fucking grip#helen continues to be the best character her showing up for the juicy gossip is so fucking real#anyagays#tma#tma podcast#the magnus pod#tma fanart#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#my art#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma jmart#tma season 5#tma spoilers#i have to make a diagram for my jon and martin designs for s5 SO bad#if only i could draw jon.... >:(#i need u guys to know that my martin loves plaid and jon is wearing a plaid shirt thats too big in s5... inchresting....
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“i love being aromantic” i say as i feel my chest cavity rotting from the inside at the unquenchable desire for love in a way that is truly a secret third thing but its not a secret i want to keep it is a secret nobody is willing to listen to and im trapped in a state of isolation of my own making because no matter how much love i have to give it will never be enough. it will never be enough. it will never be enough.
#space.txt#aromantic#its like something gnawing on my bones!!!#i am who i am but who i am is somebody nobody else wants#and do i want to be wanted?#im trapped in a world that will never give me the dignity to be truly happy by myself#financially and culturally! im doomed by the narrative#i look forward and there will be friendships but they will never be enough i feel like a fucking ALIEN#i need to meet another aroace person irl so bad its so fucking lonely how do people deal with this#1k#all the notes on this.. WE WIL BE OKAY!!!#2k
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i think he would like to hear your voice.
#heartstopperedit#heartstopper#narlieedit#narlie#nick x charlie#nick nelson#charlie spring#mine#feel like the only one who gets absolutely teary eyed at that voiceover by tara#nick felt so fucking lonely
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one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.
the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.
like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.
but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.
so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.
i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?
but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?
sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?
and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.
nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.
the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!
and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.
#spilled ink#writeblr#i hope it is clear here that i actually very much care about equatorial countries#and that's part of what makes me so angry bc im like. climate refugees exist.#they've existed for a while!!!#and the reply is almost always ''should have thought about that before living on an island"#like fuck dude. do you need to like how people vote before ur like#your entire house shouldn't burn down each summer????#so many of these people make it their life to mock california that they think it's FUNNY#and im like. girl you should be fucking trembling. TEXAS??? ARE YOU LISTENING??#this is one of those times that like. i need to stress how fucking stupid it would be#to let trump win. bc he could have “reached across the aisle.” covid could have been#a MASSIVE commercial success. he has such a huge and bigoted and brainwashed following.#literally just a PR campaign called COWBOY UP and it's pictures of cowboys in bandanas#trump reinvisioned as the lone ranger fighting for the american people against covid. EASY SELL#and instead. companies bought him. it became political. it was not ''oh shit this is 1 enemy let's all be human''#it was ''you deserve to die.''#climate change should be GLOBAL. it should be like ''yeah i hate u but. we do all live here''#i don't have to LIKE my group members to do well on a team project bc we are ALL getting graded.#is that simple enough of an under-explaination lol
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valentines newsletter ???? ?? HELLO ???????? ?????? ? ????
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#queen#queenkaard#art#doodles#comic#dude hes so fucking lonely and desperate oh my god. why is that becoming less and less of a joke#SIR this is a WENDYS#LOSER BOY !!!!!!!! LOSER. i lov you. you are so fucked up and strange and unhinged. what is wrong with you#i need ch3 and 4 right now i need to see if they love and or hate each other. i need to see more of whatever is happening here#yeah queens has personalized pens that have her face on them. what ruler doesn't#anyway#go in there#go in the dark#i mean the box
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I have been in the solavellan fandom for...A While. (do not count the years, i beg) and everyone has their tropes and themes re: wolves/halla and hunter/prey and the New Herald being worshiped/the Old God nearly forgotten, and tbh I like bits and pieces of all of them, but like...
For me, the most compelling story is that Lavellan is just Some Guy (gn).
They meet Solas and accept that he is like them. He's an elf. One of The People. You are like me. I am like you. We are The Same People. And because of that, I will protect you with whatever power the humans around us have given me, because I know this is not the safest place for either of us.
And it just fucking... gets him, right? Because that's his whole deal. The world is broken because the people aren't People. He's not like them. They're not like him.
I just love the idea that this impossibly old, incredibly powerful sort-of-god, trips into a hole and nearly throws his entire game away because a regular person (albeit one who was thrust into extraordinary circumstances) decided to be kind. Offered him protection and friendship. Asked him to tell them stories. Grieved with him when he lost one of his oldest friends.
He could not deny that they were a person, because they treated him like a person.
I love how ordinary that is. How simple. How devastating.
'You're real, and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything, but it can't.'
#Solavellan#solas x lavellan#dragon age#like it's such 'in another life i think i'd have really loved doing laundry and taxes with you' vibes#like to live an extraordinarily long and devastatingly bloody and ultimately lonely life#and then be offered love simply and honestly with no strings or caveats from a person who genuinely just...likes being with you?#RIP buddy i think I'd have gone a bit feral myself#I think this is probably why I am still foaming at the mouth over them a decade later#i have never wanted 2 people to Catch a Fucking Break so badly in my LIFE#let them have their life with laundry and taxes ;_;
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we as a collective do Not talk about this line delivery nearly enough and for good fucking reason, i'll kill bradley james for this one line alone. he's just a little boy :'((
#sami rambles#like. he's still the same little kid who didn't really know what it was to be looked after/cared for/doted on#at the heart of him he's still just that lonely young boy who always had to earn people's attention#or just take whatever he got for the simple fact of being the king's son :/#even after so long he's still not used to merlin's love. and now. now he can't see what he's ever done to deserve it#seeing everything all at once and he just. he needs answers before he goes.#he's just a little boy asking 'why' to prolong his bedtime a few moments more#oh fuck. just caused irreparable damage to myself with that last one ahaha#merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#merthur#bradley james
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Suspirium - Thom York
#this is my very favorite song and i think ive been wanting to make this for abt a year#when i was at my most compulsivly unwell i would be focusing so hard and sleeping so little that i would feel physically sick#like the world was tilting around me and i would think: all is well as long as i keep spinning#bc i would stop moving and suddenly id be in pieces on the floor. but now i think my favorite lines are: when i arrive will u come and find#me? or in a croud be one of them? bc its such a profoundly lonely idea. i dont believe in a life after death. i think when ur gone ur gone#your brain stops and the thing that made you you is gone forever. but if i imagined an afterlife image getting off a train onto a crowded#platform and searching for my mom through all the chaos. when i arrive will u come and find me? would our connect extend past a lifetime?#or would u be in a crowed one of them? would i stand alone in a sea of people waiting for someone who was never coming?#its a very upsetting thought#im glad i waited to make this bc i feel the song more deeply after the death of my mom. it feels more sad and more ethereal.#there r like 2 different versions of the lyrics bc thom york is so fucking hard to understand#so i use the version i like better#original art
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Dream’s room within Nightmare’s castle
This comic takes place after Nightmare’s theoretical death that I discussed before >:)
A bit of context under readmore
#realizing how that tiny part of your brother really cared while you were conditioned to believe he hates you down to the core time#mixed with how Nightmare made such a room to feel less lonely as Dream is his only family#all while denying that vulnerability within him to even exist#i’m so bad at environmental art don’t mind the very badly made room#I really wanted to explore this regardless cause fuck art skill i can do whatever the fuck i want and nothing can stop me#anothers art#dreamtale#dream#dream sans#dream!sans#dreamtale dream
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True Loves Kiss ( when kissing the messiah/the anti-christ please be cautious. though it may draw you out of the lonely it could also lead to severe facial scarring, but hey, you score either way!)
#jonmartin kissed in the lonely to me btw#im normal :)#jon braid agenda#also i think of jon kissing martin almost as cpr which is why martin is so despondent#my guy was GONE#lost in the sauce(the lonely)#dont like the JM one that much but i dont wanna look at it anymore :)#so fuck it we ball#need to stop posting stuff i dont like but if i dont do that ill never post anything ever and i quite like posting#im a poster#catch me posting#sorry im drunk time for real tags#tma#spork art#jonmartin#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#agnes montague#jack barnabas#i bet agnes and jack have a ship name but i dont know it#the magnus archives#thats it i think#anyways im gonna go to bed and wakeup with a hangover#gonna queue this actually#dont want notifications till i am OUT
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911 lone star -> tk & jonah in 5.08
#911 lone star#911lsedit#tk strand#911 lone star spoilers#jonah morgan de la costa strand reyes#tk is so good with him i cant#this man WOULD figure it out 100%#and im sorry but he would do it better than most people#curse this show for making me like a child honestly lmao this is against my nature but hes too fucking cute#my gifs
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it's impossible to convince people to read scum villain unless you know them like the back of your hand because how do you tell a stranger that the ml holding the mc's corpse hostage and keeping it as lively as possible with qi is actually very heartwarming and tragic within the context of the story. you sound crazy
#sqq really was like. my poor sweet baby he was so lonely i can't take it :(#they're so . weird#they were made for each other in some cosmically fucked up weird way. they have to be together so no one else has to date either of them#t#svsss#f
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Mattheo and the Ranking Kisses Trend
Mattheo Riddle, who picks you up from your closing shift at the little bookstore in hogsmeade, with two cups of hot chocolate.
Mattheo Riddle, who makes you stand there whilst he bundles a scarf around your neck, not wanting you to get ill as you walk back in the snow.
Mattheo Riddle, who listens to you ramble about your day, gazing at you like an absolutely lovestruck fool.
Mattheo Riddle, who can’t say no when you flop down on his bed next to him and ask him to film the trend where you rank the kisses generated by the filter.
Mattheo Riddle, who holds his phone up as this song begins playing in the background. He grins when the first kiss, a forehead kiss, pops up and you shuffle over to press a sweet kiss to his forehead.
Mattheo Riddle, who ranks it second best because it reminds him of all the times he’s fallen asleep next to you, finally feeling safe as you press a gentle kiss to his forehead.
Mattheo Riddle, who’s a little too excited when a neck kiss comes up and you press a slightly too long kiss to the underside of his jaw. (You’re going to pick up from where you finished off the second you stop recording.)
Mattheo Riddle, who can’t help but grin with delight when french kiss is the last one. He’s got lipstick kisses on his cheek, nose, forehead and neck.
Mattheo Riddle, who all but pulls you into his lap. His phone drops onto the bed sheets, still recording. You squeal his name with a giggle as he drags you over, and his laugh echoes throughout the room as he pulls you in for the sweetest kiss.
Mattheo Riddle, who’s bruised-knuckled hands tenderly cup your head as he kisses you. It’s all love and little laughs slipping into the kiss, Mattheo holding onto you like he can’t get enough.
Mattheo Riddle, who’s found his forever person.
#in my heart of hearts this man is a softie#gosh i’m so fucking lonely#this trend makes me physically sick everytime i see it#is this too hard to ask for?#slytherin#slytherin boys#tom riddle#harry potter#theodore nott#draco malfoy#lorenzo berkshire#slytherin boys fic#blaise zabini#pansy parkinson#mattheo riddle drabble#Spotify
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Bit of a weird question, but what is your overall least favorite thing about MLP? 
Sparity.
#magicalgrimm#ask me#there’s a later season episode (post spike getting wings) that Tulli and I could not finish because it was so awful#where rarity’s feeling lonely without spike who’s grown up and moved on from his crush on her#so she gets extremely clingy and manipulatey to get this. teenage boy to pay attention and worship her again#and rarity gets visibly jealous of spike spending time with another teenage dragon girl#it’s extremely extremely creepy. by FAR rarity’s absolute worst rock bottom moment#actual textbook groomer behavior#and even worse the episode kinda shits on rarijack where rarity tried to replace spike with applejack in helping her#but aj fails and fucks things up and isn’t right for the job. so the episode implies spike is a better match with rarity than applejack#it’s just all sorts of wrong eugh.#sparity just sucks so bad I can’t believe a good chunk of bronies still ship them or consider them a viable ship#I’m fine with spike having a kid crush on rarity it happens with kids#but the more the writers just kept teasing and toying and baiting it. overstayed its welcome#especially because they have no chemistry. spike doesn’t have a reason for liking rarity other than “hot woman in her mid-20s’
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I like that Charon's new shop theme in Hades 2 has the strings sound so forceful and it has that undercurrent of electronic beat similar to his Hades 1 battle theme. His oar's got a silver blade with moon decor, signifying his alliance to the Unseen, and now the ornaments are on both edges instead of one. The man seems chill but you could definitely see he is BIG MAD right now.
His little brothers, one asleep for literal decades at this point and the other imprisoned with his mother; his sisters taken and banished; his darling professional associate has not returned from the war and he's lonely; to top it all off, Chronos ruined his obol monopoly and the entire dying cycle so he's out of business.
I wouldn't be surprised when Olympus update gets released and we find out there's a new assist character in the third/fourth surface region, it's just Charon shelling the entire mountainside from his flagship.
#ksatalks#finding out charon owns an entire fucking BATTLESHIP has been one of the biggest highlights of this game ngl#also i like how invested hermes is in making sure mel chats with charon often so he's less lonely#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#charon#charon hades
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