#and it's okay reply when you want to!!
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Good morning 🙏🏼
I want to thank everyone their support with reblogging my stuff over the years and reblogging some of the context of the situation.
Tumblr and Instagram is filled with the most supportive people I’ve ever had the chance of meeting. The last time something like this happened, I didn’t have much support, not even from people I thought were close to me. It took me a year or two to be okay with being perceived again in fandoms. So I’m very grateful for everything.
I just wanted to post that I appreciate all of the asks and I’ve been reading all of them. I actually get anxious I’m spamming everyone too much so I probably won’t reply to everything. Please don’t feel pressured to support me financially, there’s is a free option on patreon to follow. I’ll post future project plans and occasional updates because I still love comics and I still love DC/Marvel. I do enjoy having people following along for my art/reading journey so I would always be okay with people just following for free. My brain is telling me this post is too long now so I will go 🙏🏼😭
#my brain to me: what in the retired YouTuber ass type post.. (screams) ok#I just received a lot of anons about the situation and I wanted to clarify it’s okay!!#I know the usd conversion rate is crazy… so I’ll try to wrangle my head to post some stuff publicly. I had a friend who supported me from#brazil.. I was like what! ily but if it’s breaking bank please don’t do it!!!#I also didn’t want people sending me asks thinking I didn’t read it.. listen I’ve been a fandom lurker for a while. yes I do get sad when#people don’t reply to my asks… because I’m like I want to know your answer so bad#sorry I’m not doing a very good job replying 😔 I’ve actually never had a fandom blog of this level#I’ve never gotten more than 5 asks over the 3+ years of tumblr usage..#I’m also an ultra perfectionist where I’ll reread what I wrote 2–5 times before posting. yeah it’s a bit crazy! if you send me a list of#recommended comics before I will probably read every single one and then reply 7+ months later…#😭😭😭#let me not ramble more 👍🏼#going to go get breakfast
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I just start a new account, doing the archon quest again, And I FINALLY See it.
Xiao x Traveler?
Yes.
I SAW THE WAY XIAO LOOK AT THE TRAVELER.
I'M ON THE BOAT NOW, I'M ON THE TRAVELER X XIAO SHIP!
YES !!!! 😭😭😭 there are so wholesome i love them sm
#reply#xiaotraveler#i kind of enjoy the trope when Traveler is just being themself during the whole game and doesn't live any romance#and there is some character like Xiao who discover the feeling of “romantic love” but it is one sided and he is okay w that#the game is not abt romance after all but that's why I do not mind seeing traveler ship !! i enjoy them a lot#and xiao interaction are the SWEETEST.....#it is definitively a slow burn#we can see how he was just “intriguate by traveler” at first and now traveler becomes his sweet dreams#and every events when he appears !!! bro is always here for traveler OMG.#his love language in the end of one of lantern rite “plz talk me abt your journey I'll gladly listen”#dUDE ?!?!? 😔😔😔😔 U R SO SWEET#when introvert w social akward life and no skill in social thing SAY : “plz talk i want to hear you”
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You know, for all the accusations that jews essentially do blood quantum to exclude everyone and Be Superior, antisemites are some of the first to use blood quantum if it means they can hate jews...
#jumblr#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#personal thoughts tag#i have never been so excluded as i've been from non-jews#'it's okay when we do blood quantum so long as we can pretend that ALL of you do and attack you based on that! hope that's cool! :)'#a certain political movement would be VERY interested in hearing what y'all (jew haters) have to think about the Jewish Race i think#something something 'never believe antisemites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies'#but i still want to kvetch about it
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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It’s wild how shipping culture has changed so drastically over time on the internet.
In the old days people shipped characters who either had only one line of dialogue with each other, never even met, or not even from the same piece of media. It was the wild west and sure some ships were uncomfortable but people had the mindset to just block the tag and stay away from ships they didn’t enjoy.
Nowadays? It’s more like people have to clarify that their ship isn’t canon compliant, character adjacent, and story irrelevant otherwise they get a flood of comments saying “but this character isn’t like this in canon” and some people legitimately get angry if you’re not following the canon.
Like- shipping and fandom culture from what I understand it is about engaging with media in a way that caters to you. And if you don’t like a ship or show just… block the relevant tags and don’t engage in the ships? The internet isn’t supposed to cater to us- we have to cater ourselves to our internet environment. And no matter how many times people may harass others over a fandom or ship they don’t like, those ships are not gonna disappear.
The internet has just been getting worse when people have decided to place morality in their opinions by saying things like “if you enjoy the ship then you support (insert horrible thing here that’s usually completely unrelated to the ship itself)” when it used to be “eh, not my thing” and people just moved on.
And for the record this isn’t about a specific ship or anything- just an observation of how fandom has evolved (and regressed) over the years and I find it fascinating from a sociological perspective cause we still don’t know how having the internet from birth affects the development of kids and how that affects how they interact with others- isn’t that scary?
I know that’s slightly unrelated but the way people engage in media has been changing over they years and that also involves fandom and the maturity level thereof in the internet space and someone smarter than me could probably write a whole thesis paper about fandom culture and how the internet has hindered the social development of people and how that affects community specifically from a fandom lens.
Just- for your sanity younger internet children: it’s not worth harassing others over something as trivial as ‘it’s not canon that this character kisses another character.’ Just find ships you like. Block ships you don’t. And just enjoy your time doing what you like!
You can’t control the internet but you can nurture your little corner of it.
#shipping#canon ship#non canon ships#reader x character#self ship#I get so tired of seeing shipping posts and the comments or reply tweets are nothing but ‘but this isn’t canon tho!!!’#sonny when I was your age we shipped characters who never even met in canon!#even with ships I don’t like- I get exhausted seeing people get bombarded by fourteen year olds who haven’t developed critical thinking yet#every day I agree more that people under 18 shouldn’t have access to the internet#this can also apply to people who act like ‘if you dont reblog or boost this post (insert social issue here) then you’re a bad person!!’#like… no#you don’t have to apply moriality to a stinkin’ reblog button!#sure informing people is important but you don’t have to take the responsibility of the world’s issues#we’re all doing the best we can and you don’t have to prove your morality to be a good person#it’s okay to not engage with those kinds of posts if it makes you uncomfortable- that doesn’t affect your morality in any way#For example: I’m never gonna reblog gory posts showing battle zones#does that mean I support war? absolutely not!#I’m just protecting my mental health! and you need to as well#the internet is yours to make it how you want and if you want it to be an escape from the horrors of the world that’s okay#protect your happiness fam
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Y'know I used to always say I liked kids in person but not in theory (reverse from my feelings towards dogs) but I think I finally realised how to word it more accurately. I like kids as people, but not as a responsibility. I do not trust my ability to take care of a kid even temporarily if there's no well-adjusted adult nearby I can ask stuff and call if anything happens, but I love the passion children have for their interests, their fearlessness wrt breaking societal rules they haven't been forced to learn yet and their curiosity about almost anything that's even remotely interesting. I like children, I just don't like being given responsibilities I'm not equipped to handle
#personal#mine#not intended to be reblogged but i don't think i'd mind#and tbh basically any child that can communicate in any way (so... any child i think) is fun to hang with. babies will be so fascinated if#you show them cool things. and lbr the grabby thing is adorable. was even back when i had long hair lol#you know that 'i want a baby' texts meme where one of the partners replied 'just to hang out with?' that was for me. i don't like being#given responsibility for children but i love to just hang with them lol#i mean obviously i'll take basic responsibilities like making sure they don't fall off the balcony but ykwim#back in the place i lived temporarily for a bit there was a kid (didn't ask how old but she was in the middle of her teeth exchange) and sh#was so funny and creative. great kid to hang with! very energetic tho lol i'm glad i didn't have to race her#and tbh hanging with kids like her gives me hope for the future too. we'll be okay actually. like as a species
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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MC: Please, Dazai, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Dazai: I’m sorry MC. MC: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. Dazai: It has to be done. MC: Dazai: MC: Dazai: *Places +4* Uno.
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp incorrect quotes#ikevamp dazai#ikevamp mc#okay but rereading dazai's route in english has been a hell of a ride#i love how the game is like 'be warned if you try to date one of the other jpn guys. they will meme.'#and tbh? i think that's fking brilliant good show everyone#like on the one hand yes i think its very sweet they care about her comfort so far away from home#and how they bond over having a similar homeland#but then they just straight up get so chaotic at points and i wheeze laugh#i will never forget doing one of sebas' bday stories and mc is like#'take those clothes off'#vital context: mc didnt want him to wear work clothes on their bday date--she wanted him to wear 'we're on a date clothes'#but sebas just replies 'but i don't wanna go to work naked 😔'#and she's just like 'AKIHIKO I S2G'#and to this day every single time i remember i become monsieur de wahaha actually#i find it hysterically funny how pissy sebas gets about dazai's silly goose antics#meanwhile gilligan's cut to sebas being absolutely out of pocket when left unsupervised#the duality of man that these two manage to carry#you know it just occurred to me that perhaps sebas gets mad bc dazai is so averse to letting anyone help or care about him in return#and that's really sweet if that's the case (although I suspect it is also partially that he makes more work for him kalhdgkhsfsjhk)#godspeed dazai doors are the oppressor windows are freedom#don't let the establishment fool you
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Forcing myself to get off this app for a while, I've got a lot of shit going on rn so if any of you find me lurking here shoo me away before I make this my escape and diversion from facing real life. I'd hate myself for doing that, dawg. This is one the actual rare times when I'm on the verge of losing my shit irl, so like yeah 🙏🏻
I'm not ignoring any of you I'm just bad at replying on time. Just gon' be a little less active for a while I swear I'm not dead/in jail/depressed/hiding a body or anything 😂✨
Until I come back, Adios ✨😌
#Miss me okay?#Because I'm very much miss worthy :>#Keep tagging me in posts I love it when people do that. I'll reply when I'm back.#I just wanted to say “bye you weaboo shits” and disappear but like 😂 that'd freak y'all out so nope.
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hello why is kaishin more popular than shinkai or what i mean is why bottom shinichi is like the most widely believed one? lol not really in the fandom just vaguely familiar with the anime from childhood it's just my mutuals likes this ship. i'd thought shinichi being the top would be more popular given his personality.
anon sorry for the late answer!!
imma be real honest with you, anon, i've loved the kidco dynamic since i was conan-sized but i only realized kaishin should be making out around 2021 so i don't know if i'm the best person to answer this question LOL BUT, i'll give you an answer!
tbh, i think for fandom shipping in general, the main character more often than not is the chosen bottom and whoever else is the other party is topping them. in japanese media especially, the ship names are mostly born from putting the kanji of their names together wherein the order of which indicates the seme and uke. since this happens early on, we kinda get stuck with that as the popular ship name whether you prefer the other way later on.
perhaps kaishin is more popular but not entirely by a lot compared to other ships where it's completely skewed to one side. i see a lot of shinkai too. ofc there are people who prefer one way over the other exclusively and that's completely fine!
personally, i think confining them into seme and uke or top and bottom does a great disservice to the kaishin dynamic because to me we should be looking at their sub-dom dynamic more and why they're actually peak switch sub and dom!!!!
that's fucking right kaishin is actually peak switch and i will die on this fucking hill!!!!!!!!!!
when you say shinichi would be the "obvious top," i'd like to assume in your heart you actually meant "the obvious dom" (LOL) but i think that could also apply to kaito.
i think the appeal of kaishin is the push and pull between them. the give and take. they're always trying to one-up each other. sometimes one pushes and the other gives way, sometimes it's the other way around.
i will be honest, perhaps switch pairings might just be my preference but I have never encountered a pairing that felt this completely equal in the switch department more than kaishin. like for other ships i'd sometimes be like, "yeah they switch but A is 70% more dom than B." But for kaishin I'm like, "oKAY THEY'RE 50/50 THEY'RE EQUALS THEY'RE PERFECT HALVES RAAAAAHHHH"
now how does this answer your question? well, i have no proof and im going off of vibes and like i said im no veteran in this ship fandom but, i think a lot of people do enjoy the other way around as you think it would've been. it's just that...it's something that can just be filed under the kaishin tag too. because it's basically the same sometimes. the only different thing is who's topping and bottoming. like sometimes i'm scrolling through twitter and i'd see art that's giving shinkai but it's tagged as kaishin and vice versa lol.
also personally i prefer calling them kaishin because i love the letter k and i associate the name shinkai more with makoto shinkai so every time i see people refer to kaishin as shinkai, my mind just conjures up an image of kaito, shinichi, and makoto shinkai together and i know that's fucking hilariously weird but it sometimes happens!!!! LMAO so even if i'm thinking about shinkai stuff, i still prefer using the name kaishin lol.
(but having the kaishin/shinkai distinction is definitely still useful especially for people who want to filter through one way or the other so fuck yeah to the ship name shinkai you're here to stay!!!)
anyway in conclusion, top shinichi is popular too dw lol, or maybe i should say bottom kaito is popular too lol i see yalls
also sorry that this answer is not only late but also a whole essay that doesn't even straightforwardly answer your question lol my bad anon
#replies#dc prattles#anon if you're out there.....im sorry this is late af lol it was hard to gather my thoughts#ALSO KAISHIN PEAK SWITCH BABEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#also didnt mean to dunk on seme uke and top bottom but like im tireeeeed of it!!!!! like yeah it's fun dont get me wrong and sometimes it's#easier to just put characters into easy boxes like these#but!!!!!!!!!!!!#kaishin is much too complex for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#their very appeal is how they're both opposites but similar!!!!#they are not a linear contrast they are a juxtaposition in a loop!!!!!! i love them too much to not explore their nuances and intricacies!!#also i wanted to say another thing about the main character being the bottom frequently but i have no facts to back it up just vibes LOL#but i think since main characters are mostly designed for us to like them#we do end up liking them so much so that we just want to sometimes hug and comfort them#and idk i feel like being taken care of and comforted is mostly associated with people who bottom#(which btw i rly think sometimes people mean sub when they say bottom lol)#ANYWAYS i have no proof of that tho just vibes so take it with a grain of salt#also anon.....when you ask why the majority prefers a specific character to bottom.....sometimes there's no deep reason ngl like#sometimes they just want their faves to get fucked and that's okay too LMAO#btw guys i do enjoy shinkai i just like calling it kaishin anyways lmaooooo im sorry i know im ruining the archiving of kaishin but i just!#makoto shinkai existed in my mind before gay thief and detective kissing each other im sorry!!!!!!#5cm per second destroyed me okay!!!!!!#yeah also im not tagging this with ksn/snk i dont want to be perceived that much by people who will disagree lol i said i'd fight yall#for peak switch kaishin but like who tf cares honestly as long ur having fun with whatever version of kaishin you want kaishin to be then#you're good to go#anon
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don't reupload or else 🐥🔪
#zeenunew#zee pruk#nunew chawarin#the next prince#domundi#thai bl actors#and then nunew's dad replied to zee's twt like Dear you sang it all wrong let me teach you lmao#and when net replied wanting to tease him zee ofc went I KNOW OKAY THE SONG'S OLD#domundi is entirely made of dorks 😂#bella and the blorbos#local woman harps on about znn
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hi what do you think abt t4t kakayama (it's canon to me tbh)
:) hi ty for the question. i will do two sweet pictures of them being intimate and then under the cut there's going to be a longer very unsweet and more technical response
so i'm usually not a very shippy person! but that said i am also on the record as an occasional kakayama + kakayamagai enjoyer
i do hc them both as trans and in different ways w/ different experiences of transition and identity! i have no interest in proving my view as canon, but i do regard my reading of the text (text here including the anime) as a valid interpretation of yamato's experience of identity
yamato, for example, imo, doesnt have any real lived experience of being raised as a child of any gender. he was an experimental subject, and then he was Danzō's weapon/vessel for the mokuton, and then he was in anbu.
in a fun little word game which should not be taken seriously: it'd almost be more fitting to describe him as "adgender" rather than "transgender" since the prefix "trans" implies moving across where the prefix "cis" means to stand still, but the prefix "ad" means "to move towards" and i headcanon him as somebody who was degendered as a child, not in a cool nonbinary way, but instead in a dehumanizing, objectifying way, so his experience of creating his identity and his gender along with it is one of moving toward the concept of gender this word doesn't and wont exist, but bc of the way english works it would probably be simplified to be spelled precisely the same as "agender" in the same way that "aggression" came from latin "aggredi" which came from "ad" (meaning to/toward) and and latin "gradus" (meaning step) (essentially the combination means "to step to" [in a threatening manner]) the only diferences is where agender (meaning no gender) is pronounced ay-gender, the agender that comes from adgender would be prounounced more like "uhgender" in the same way that agressive isnt pronounced like "ay-gressive" but instead like "uhgressive"
and then...as for kakashi? i just decided on vibes. i didn't think hard about it.
i guess i should also say that, while i draw kakayama very infrequently, when i do draw it i usually try to be very apparent about the transness in the artwork if i can? especially if i'm drawing anything more intimate than a peck on the cheek. it's no secret that shipping is often times the most energized part of fandom, and i kind of don't want to produce romantic or sexual artwork which will be enjoyed by people who don't think trans people can be attractive? or who find that trans headcanons make a character uninteresting to them? or worse, "ruin" a depiction of a character to them?
often i think about in terms of. IF there are people that follow me that love my work (usually) and think that kakashi or yamato are hot (usually) and love kakayama (usually) but get frustrated or even uncomfortable out when i draw them as explicitly trans? then i'm drawing all intimate artwork of them as explicitly trans.
it's a little like...nobody gets to love my work if transgender characters are a turnoff for them. that's the bar for entry, is the way i think of it, but really its more like putting onions in a dish. if you want to eat the dish you have to eat the onions. if you don't want to eat the onions, don't eat the dish. all the meals i make contain onions. i'll never compromise on my intention to put onions in every dish i make. that's my ninja way, as the kids say.
especially in the climate we're in right now.
i don't know. i have a lot of feelings about how most fandoms tend to view trans men, especially in terms of romantic and sexual relationships. I'm doing a bad job of expressing the depth of how much seeing how fandom treats trans male identity and transmasculine bodies impacts the way that i draw + write kakayama, but genuinely it's something i think about every single time i create content about them.
#yamswers#danova#often even when there r trans characters/trans hcs of characters the m/m pairings are usually trans + cis#+ i wanna emphasize: there's nothing wrong with that. trans+cis relationships are as beautiful and valid as t4t#but...in fiction...there's like. expectations. of how a trans guy will act in a relationship with a cis guy#literally every transmasc person knows exactly what im fucking talking about lol#i'm trying to keep this conversation PG bc naruto is not an adult show—so. anyway#the presence of t4t depictions is basically essential in offering an alternative image of relationships + intimacy for trans individuals#a view of trans bodies which is not designed for the pleasure of cis consumption+assumption#a view of trans bodies not couched in an artist statement saying ''this is a trans body. this is how you interact with a body like it.''#sometimes even stuff made by trans people will cater to explaining transness to cis people + thats fine and okay and—#—can be cathartic to create. esp as a trans person since so many of us are Surrounded by cis people irl#but. as a singular consumer. i get tired of that. i don't want it—at least not in the way that fandom frequently produces#i'm sorry this was probably an ask that expected a reply full of trans love and just got a bunch of technical stuff back#but to be fair this IS how i feel about t4t kakayama
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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I worry quite often that if I don't find someone else who's a romantic ace like I am...I'll be a disappointment to them and I'll fall out of favor with them-
Like I wanna date so badly but I think especially in HS nobody will ever want me
Idk sometimes I worry that maybe I'm not even good enough and I'm a waste of space like it's gotten to the point this summer where Im afraid of time passing and I've developed some suicidal ideations I wont lie-
(Dunno if this is too much for your confession box my apologies)
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#Not too much. Not too much at all. This is a common feeling for people who are “missing” a part of allo attraction#It's not missing. It's different. You are whole#But I'm going to say I have similar things and hangup about my identity. And I'm going to tell you#That when I put my aromantic and asexual nominators on a dating app#I had people the same as me reply#Granted I didn't hit it off with them because I was busy and shouldn't have been looking or making that commitment#But they EXIST and they are AROUND YOU. And if it's something you want you will find them. Because they are looking too. They feel just lik#You. They feel alone and they're not because you exist. You will be okay.#Not to mention allo/ace relations DO work and they HAVE worked.#And even if you just aren't compatible that way and it's their hangup. That should not stop you from dating if it's what you want.#You don't need to have sex to get asked out or to have a date with someone you like. Don't keep yourself from those experiences#If it's something YOU want. It's not important to everyone. It doesn't make you whole. But of you want it then you OWN it. I love you anon#Ask again if you need or want to. We're here. We're a community.#aask#Asexual#Mod Aby#Asexuality#Alloromantic ace#grey ace#Tw suicidal ideation mention#Tw suicidal ideation#Tw suicide mention#Tw suicide
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Season Finale
Sick and tired of reading about people say that Dazai knowing about the plan beforehand somehow takes away from the genuineness of the skk moments
You mean you WANT Dazai to choose to kill Chuuya for the greater good and then not give a shit immediately after?? Ignoring the speech for a second, the reason he was able to be so carefree after “killing” Chuuya is because he KNEW Chuuya was gonna be okay.
First of all, Dazai knowing Chuuya wasn’t gonna die doesn’t take away from his speech. He replayed all those memories for himself, nobody else was seeing what was happening in his head. He was GENUINELY upset at the idea of losing Chuuya and having to put Chuuya through that, DESPITE knowing Chuuya would be okay. He was STILL upset. That’s way better than him thinking he just killed Chuuya, sparing him a thought, not even crying (bc no that wasn’t a tear) and then just moving on being silly as if nothing happened.
And then the other speech him saying that they’re destined to - do you seriously think he’d just make that up for shits and giggles? He was being serious. If he was gonna play it up for Fyodor’s sake he would’ve said the most emotional out of pocket line to ever be written, which to them would be related to him leaving Chuuya behind. But no he just said they’re destined to do something.
Dazai talks a lot about the past to Chuuya (Chuuya does not participate) but those two are clearly emotionally constipated bc they never have a conversation about what they mean to each other (which I think is bc Asagiri is not ready to reveal that yet). This was clearly Dazai taking his opportunity to say what he REALLY thinks / feels forcing Chuuya to listen without the commitment. Bc if anyone gets the ick later he can use the convenient excuse of “oh I didn’t mean that” which is bullshit.
And I do think an element of this idea that it’s worse that Dazai had everything planned comes from the misunderstanding that Dazai has completely changed since he was in the port mafia. Dazai just tends to make “better” (as in more objectively good) choices, but he very much still puts on a front. You guys do realize that his silly persona is just that right? A persona? He’s literally being fake every time he’s silly. That’s not his real personality. He’s a morally gray character. He never became a purely good person and he never will. It makes MUCH more sense that he planned everything out with Chuuya beforehand.
He met up with Akutagawa before getting arrested, he probably did the same with Chuuya.
And yes, this means he DID use and manipulate Sigma the entire time. Why wouldn’t he? Sigma has an ability Dazai needed. I’m sure Dazai planned for sigma to not die bc in his role as a detective it’s part of his job to mitigate losses of innocent lives, he knows this, but also bc Dazai needs to know what sigma learned. I genuinely hope there isn’t anyone out there thinking Dazai wouldn’t manipulate sigma bc he cares about him? He just met him. He has no personal investment in him. But he WILL make sure sigma is alive bc of the aforementioned reasons.
#soukoku#skk#bsd skk#yes I did just make a new side blog to post this lol#I just read something and it made me angry so this probably sounds really aggressive 🥴#I swear I’m usually more chill#I also can’t explain how angry and heartbroken I was when I saw in the manga that Dazai didn’t care he just killed Chuuya#and started just messing around with sigma#I genuinely can’t fathom why you guys want that to have happened#I can look back at those scenes and breathe now knowing Dazai knew Chuuya was gonna be okay#I will probably be less angry if anyone replies in a few hours and will be able to have a civil discussion if anyone disagrees lol#tho pls be aware since this IS a side blog I can’t reply directly bc it forces me to reply with my main blog#and I don’t really want anyone to see my main blog#so I’ll have to reblog and then @ most likely#unless this has been fixed??#if I can reply with a sideblog pls lmk#also pls don’t be rude I’ll reply if you respectfully disagree that’s fine but not if you’re just gonna yell at me#I know a lot of this is probably a hot take#but I’m feeling brave what can I say
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UGH SHE'S SO FUNNY AND SWEET, BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL ACTUALLY, WOULD LIKE TO KISS HER THANKS
#max rambles a lot#🐈⬛🌈🩵#genuinely tho idk if she's feeling the same way or she's just really friendly and also just like platonically into me if that makes sense??#like??? how do people do this???#how do humans???#because she calls me buddy and bestie a lot#and there was a little tee hee joke in the gc long before this crush even developed about a mutual friend setting us up#where she was like 'oh you're great just not the gender i'm attracted to!' which is so fair#AND YET#she says things like 'i want to be around for a long time because you make me feel wanted' when i told her she had to take care of herself#because she's had a really bad cold all week and i said i wanted her around for a long time#and also 'bestie don't worry about it okay i will be coming home to you in any way we both can'#after i apologised for being behind with replies for somethin we were doing together#WHEN I TELL YOU I MELTED.#anyway help me idk what is happening to me or where i stand i'm a mess and i really like this girl#can't wait to scream at my best friends about this on thursday lmao
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