#and it's not working and it won't work and idk what to do about it!
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Custom Hualian dolls
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
I started this project in February 2022. I originally made a Puqi Shrine diorama out of an old cardboard box. I still have it and I'll post it soon after I make some minor alterations. I just really wanted to share these 2 since I spent so much effort on them.
Back then, I purchased 2 Obitsu 11cm dolls. I bought them on Aliexpress but judging by the packaging and the fact they were around $15 each I'm pretty sure they're legit.
In this blog I'll talk a bit about the process for those unfamiliar with doll customizing and everyone else who is interested in the process. I'm a doll collector but my customizing skills are very rudimentary and mostly rely on winging it and hoping for the best.
And my motto during this process was "nobody's gonna see the back."
I made the prototype clothes back in 2022 and the stitching was ass. And it took me until last week to gather enough courage to start working on the wigs. I originally purchased very cheap doll hair but it refused to cooperate and I decided to use felt instead.
. ₊ ⊹ . ₊˖ . ₊ . 𓇢𓆸
⋆。˚ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
His clothes were already basically done when I started over. I added the red ribbon details, added the flower nail charm, the red string and I made the wig, of course.
These outfits are by no means historically or cannonically accurate. I had to modify them to accommodate the scale and my subpar sewing skills. I've gotten much better at sewing since then so don't look at those shoulder seams...
And I still don't know what's going on with the back of his red robes. I think I ran out of fabric :-|
The braid is made using a string of black yarn. The vambraces are actually fake adjustable ear cuffs.
I'll show the wig making process more in Xie Lian's section since Hua Cheng's was easier to make. I just slapped a bunch of felt pieces on the wigcap with glue and voilà!
And E'Ming was made using pencils and gel polish on a piece of cardboard and Xie Lian's butterfly was made with the help of a nail sticker and magnetic cat eye polish. In the finished photo you can see a red gem sticker on E'Ming's eye. I don't know how I feel about it. Do your prefer the design without it? I can easily take it off.
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°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・.˚⊹.
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Xie Lian's outfit and hair was a bit of a challenge but it was fun. I was inspired by several designs and decided to just wing it and make my own outfit instead of recreating an existing one in its entirety.
Also, as you can tell, these dolls have many articulation points that allow for so much posability. I sewed the clothes onto them to keep it in place so they have limited range of movement, especially Hua Cheng, but I'm fine with it. They can still pose nicely.
Instead of making inner and outer robes I decided to make one pair of robes and the second pair that's folded over the shoulders stops at the waist and is hidden by the belt/sash(?) idk English forgive me.
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I tried to make the "main robes" fold over at the waist but I misplaced the rest of that white fabric 2 years ago so I just extended the edges on 3 sides with the sheer fabric from an old curtain and hoped for the best.
Oh, and the shoes are also from Aliexpress. I try not to purchase often from them but I could not find any alternatives...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ˚。𔓘
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The wig making process was... Interesting. I won't show the entire wigcap by itself to spare your eyes so here's balding Xie Lian lol.
The bun was made by rolling felt into a little roll. I then stuck two bigger felt circles onto one side and glued the edges after I cut the outer edges like you would cut a pizza. Does this make sense? Probably not.
Basically, make a rose type thing.
And if you're wondering, the wigs are removable and kind of posable as well.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
And that's basically it <3
I wanted to include better quality pics but it won't allow me to post more than 10 at once so I had to stuff them into collages.
Forgot to mute the video so if you hear my cat wreaking havoc in the background no you didn't.
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I may or may not be working on another project centered around Beefleaf...
When I was a kid, I couldn't afford good quality dolls so I played with small doll-like keychains that had knitted dresses, arms and legs made of string, heads made of painted wooden beads and little beanies on their heads.
I have similar beads laying around so I plan to make similar keychains that look like fem Beefleaf.
Of course, I gotta finish that damn Puqi Shrine and hope my cat doesn't cause it to collapse. Maybe one day I'll make keychain versions of other TGCF characters as well!
ଓ༉‧.⭒ֶָ֢⋆.
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Paradoxes Nothing in the world is as soft, as weak, as water; nothing else can wear away the hard, the strong, and remain unaltered. Soft overcomes hard, weak overcomes strong. Everybody knows it, nobody uses the knowledge. So the wise say: By bearing common defilements you become a sacrificer at the altar of earth; by bearing common evils you become a lord of the world. Right words sound wrong. [Ch. 78 of Tao Te Ching, ascribed to Lao Tzu; English version by Ursual K. Le Guin]
I'm water like how raging rivers are water, so I also find solace and praxis in Ch. 63 (excerpted from the same English version as above):
Consider Beginnings Do without doing. Act without action. Savor the flavorless. Treat the small as large, the few as many. Meet injury with the power of goodness. Study the hard while it's easy. Do big things while they're small. The hardest jobs in the world start out easy, the great affairs of the world start small. So the wise soul, by never dealing with great things, gets great things done. Now, since taking things too lightly makes them worthless, and taking things too easy makes them hard, the wise soul, by treating the easy as hard, doesn't find anything hard.
I'd recommend the entire Tao Te Ching, actually, for self cultivating mettle, but if nothing else, the above is presently, as ever, salient.
If you'd like something more literally applicable, however —
Living With Change When the government's dull and confused, the people are placid. When the government's sharp and keen, the people are discontented. Alas! misery lies under happiness, and happiness sits on misery, alas! Who knows where it will end? Nothing is certain. The normal changes into the monstrous, the fortunate into the unfortunate, and our bewilderment goes on and on. And so the wise shape without cutting, square without sawing, true without forcing. They are the light that does not shine.
(In other words, according to Ursula K. Le Guin's footnote to the above Ch. 58, Taoists gain their ends without the use of means.)
I won't promise it'll be okay, regardless of what happens over the next few days, but I can promise the outcome is navigable.
#tao te ching#idk if it's ever really helpful to just post excerpts of works like the tao te ching#especially in non native languages#like the chapters make more sense when read together and when used to elucidate each other#which requires great footnotes to catch where phrases are terms of art if you're reading in a language other than literary chinese#and even then like.#it helps to know the context of its compilation and arrangement (which is likely v different from its original form)#and if you're western you need to dissect your cultural backbone to identify and recognize inapplicable foundations#if you haven't already. otherwise you're going to hit walls with eastern philosophy like you wouldn't believe.#i was raised in a multicultural east meets west framework and I studied western civ & politics extensively#and it was still a massive lift to scrape the surface of enough china culture & philosophy to feel capable of interpreting my danmei faves#and even then it's like a fraction of comprehension#I'm not arrogant or silly enough to think I could ever like sparknotes thousands of years of cultural history the vast majority of which#I'm not capable of accessing at all#i don't have to feel this way about aristotle because so much of my world is built on his thought and theory and research#that like. my comprehension is involuntarily. his bonemeal is mixed into the concrete forming my existential foundation.#so much of what we think is innate is learned#we just process information without regard for provenance because we are finite creatures with finite attention#all of which is to say#this feels gaudy and shallow and like i'm conflating a smear of fat with the whole boar#but i'm not qualified to teach most of the shit i'm learning from so I just sprinkle enough that those who might similarly enjoy themselves#or find grit and meaning in similar or the same kinds of things as me#can latch onto what catches their eye#and do with it what they will#me and mine. i will do my silly little firm tasks that I've been putting off.#i will take a shower and reread the tao te ching.#i will read a chapter of frankenstein.#i will wake up tomorrow and continue to yearn and think and wonder#while tending to my survival and performing my obligations and conducting the petty rituals that afford me a life i can live with#the means may change but the end won't.
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okay listen. I get the urge to talk about my favorite life series ship like it's Canon in every season...BUT. THAT HAS NEVER ONCE BEEN THE CASE.
Yes, Jimmy would be upset if Tango canaried (technical scientific term for that). Everyone would be- even I would be, and I've never watched a single one of his videos. Canarying sucks, and it hurts. Of course I would be upset. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I THINK JIMMY WOULD BREAK DOWN SOBBING FROM A CHARACTER STAND POINT. They have had only like... THREE on screen interactions. One is Tango murdering a man infront of Jimmy and another is Tango cheerfully burning down something one of Jimmy's teammates worked very hard on. WildLifeChara!Jimmy has more reason to hate or be afraid of WildLifeChara!Tango than to be madly in love with him.
I promise you, if Tango had offered Jimmy a life instead of Ren, people wouldn't shut up about for MONTHS. But, because it's Ren, somehow the interaction isn't NEARLY as homoerotic??? I understand having NOTP's, but the Jimmy/Ren ship doesn't even show up ONCE on ao3. Zero fics. ZE-RO. There's no reason to hate something that doesn't even exist.
This same concept applies for Flower Husbands as well- not just in Wild Life, and Secret Life and Limited Life and Last Life and Real Life though- in Empires.
I have no clue about Empires Season 1, but they barely interacted in Empires Season 2- and yet the amount of ship art I sift through on a weekly basis for my side blog is actually insane. Yeah, the few interactions WERE important, but I think Scott only flirted (in video) with Jimmy maaybbeeee three times. I have no idea what the count of that for streaming is, but I swear it is not enough to keep that number so inflated.
Although, honestly, this problem might just be affecting me because of my personal view on shipping- if it's in a context where it doesn't make sense for the characters to be romantically engaged, I won't read it or write it.
For example, my beloved Solidwood! I mostly get their vibes or read their fics from the following series: Evo, Last Life, New Life, Empires2, Secret Life. That's because those settings make sense! They are active, they are engaged, they have near constant interactions or very close base locations. It makes SENSE for them to be shipped. However, if you showed me art or fic of them in, say, Limited Life, I'd furrow my brow and tilt my head and say "no, that doesn't do anything for me." BECAUSE THEY HAVE ZERO REASON TO BE INVESTED ROMANTICALLY IN ONE ANOTHER THERE, AS A STAND ALONE SETTING.
Most of the major Jimmy ships, though, don't follow this rule. I can understand loving a ship so much you want to see it everywhere- but, I promise you, stepping back and looking at which characters actually have chemistry regarding the new setting and social system will do wonders... you won't have to think of new Au's to insert your favorite ship into a new setting... all ships will be your favorite ship (unless they give you the ick). Join the multishiper hivemind /j
No but honestly it's gotten to the point where I will like or dislike a creator/character of theirs by what ship is their most popular given the context of the setting. Like, Tango in Double Life? Awww the sweetie!! I love him :) and then Tango in Empires2 sets off alarm bells in my brain screaming at me. He is NOT meant to be here bringing that ship here, this is NOT its territory. Same problem for Scott in nearly damn near every SMP both Jimmy and him are in... except Wild Life because he's actually been pretty nice and not condescending or forcing on Jimmy. I guess also power imbalances in how fans view them is a major no-go for me...
Idk if you read this whole thing thanks I guess... for anymore needed context I am a Jimmy rarepair obsessed multishiper.
TLDR; Lots of popular ships are inserted into settings without a thought for what that would mean for the setting and any changes in the established social connections, which gives OP the ick. I'm also not policing ships I'm just begging people to please either understand more ships using in setting context or list their AU details in the summaries of the fics. This goes hand in hand with misinterpreting characters in writing also... the more ships you like the more characters you will get to get good at writing!!!!
#Realized why the reason some creators leave a bad taste in my mouth is because their main ship's fanbase#Shoves that ship into everything. Even places it shouldn't be. For example a crazy amount of the Jimmy empires fics#Are au's of Esmp1 where Tango rules a kingdom in the Nether. Yeah its a fun idea but if it dominates HALF of the tags its...#It's just kinda spam at that point. He's not even in that smp and I'll bet Tango is tagged more than one of the Canon emperors#And the nearly the other half of Jimmy Empires fics are god damn FLOWER HUSBANDS. YOU CANT ESCAPE THEM#And also Scott even shoves the ship on Jimmy. Did you not SEE THEIR INTERACTION IN REAL LIFE???#JUST REALIZES THATS WHY I WAS ABLE TO READ A FLOWER HUSBANDS FIC ONCE.BEVAUSE THE WRITER MADE THEM SEEM LIKE EQUALS#fandom discourse#fandom discussion#shipping discourse#shipping discussion#creacheurspeacher#ship and let ship#life series#life smp#trafficblr#solidaritygaming#jimmy solidarity#traffic smp#scott smajor#smajor1995#tangotek#wildlife smp#trafficshipping#long post#rant post#shipping rant#flower husbands#the ranchers#solidwood
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Therians are indeed, people who feel a very spiritual connection with a certain animal! They can't choose which animal it is though, they just feel it. Some of them make masks of this animal to feel a bit more connected, and then there's...THOSE therians (with all due respect because i'm a therian too and no one deserves to be disrespected) who eats food for animals (for example cat food, dog food) and/or runs away from their home because their family doesn't accept they are therians...
I'm sorry for my own community but like being a therian isn't TRYING TO BE that animal you feel connected to 😭 we're still humans, we're always gonna be humans- we don't TRY to be that animal, we just feel connected with them...I'm sorry but I find it a bit funny when they get to that point, though it's concerning when they start eating dog or cat food like please don't do that you could get seriously sick
Anyway that's therians for you! :3
Ohhhh thank you for this Anon! I was kinda right yaaay
Though I don't think I'm allowed to say this since idk much about it, it is a bit weird thinking you are FULLY an animal I guess? But then again I won't make judgement, but also, DON'T EAT DOG/CAT/ANY FOOD FOR ANIMALS YOU'LL DIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THINK ABOUT YOUR TUMMIESSSSSSS
- from someone who ate dog chow religiously as a child and is insane now
Edit: turning off reblogs for this post because apparently this is starting some discourse within this community. With all due respect; I am NOT a therian, nor am I aware of how things work for you guys. I just know basic knowledge, and if the anon is wrong, then that's fine. Someone actually corrected me on it, which is FINE. But for the love of god, please do not pull ME into your discourse. The origins of this was someone asking me what my opinion of therians is, and my statement remains; I don't care what you do, if you're not a bad person then do what makes you happy, I am not going to judge you. Someone said it isn't just a spiritual connection and it's actually feeling like the animal, and that's FINE. I still think it's weird but I also know this is from my OWN ignorance, so please stop coming to yap at me about this rudely, because you're only giving me the impression that you guys are rude. I'm not going to pretend I know anything, and if you wish to disagree with Anon, do so POLITELY. Otherwise, please stop interacting with the post. Calling the anon out on misinformation is fine, but again, do not bring ME into this. As far as I'm aware, I'm watching different sets of people who are stating what they know of therians from their own experience. 🧍 It's fine that you wanna point out misinfo but also. Be nice. Because it feels like you guys are yelling at me and it's not nice
#ㅤㅤㅤໂ♥︎̼̻𓈒ིུ𖥨᩠ׄ݁ field of flowers 🌸#anon#therian#for legal reasons that last bit is a joke I don't think dog food made me insane#but also you shouldn't eat animal food bc their stomachs are different from yours#ALSO also#i know it's difficult when people won't accept you but I don't think running away from home is a good thing esp if you're a kid and have no#-one else to turn too#just...hang on until you're all grown up!#I don't think i should comment about 'those' therians cause i don't wanna seem mean ;-;#fhwhwudirur
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{ 05.11.24 } · { 50 days of routine } · { day 7 }
I was never “popular” at school. Not that I ever cared to be. I don't have the personality for it. And I don't really care to have the personality for it either. I'm not and never will be That Girl™ material, a “high-value woman”, or whatever feminine persona is trendy on TikTok these days (and i'm not even ON TikTok, but ofc the trends spread everywhere like wildfire) because I don't look the part (nor do I want to...i quite like my personal style) or think or speak or act the way she would if it goes against my values and/or it won't actually improve my wellbeing. I say I don't care. And I really truly don't because a lot of it and what it leads to is straight-up problematic for my personal case, running counter to the life I want to live and all my reasons why. But as with anything, being yourself has its pros and cons.
Sometimes I still feel like it's hard to truly belong anywhere...even the places I make for myself like this blog... Sometimes when I feel like this, I feel like the only place I most belong is in my head. It's not good. That's not where I need to be, nor do I need to be much concerned about trends on social media and what drives people to follow them. And I certainly don't need to compare myself to anyone else. I need to be in the real world and focused on my work only because I think it's worth it and because I think I'm worth it as I am.
I'm not sure why I felt like saying this.
~~~Friendly PSA: STOP 🖐🏻 scrolling social media of any kind when feeling low in self-esteem.~~~
got up at 7, continued filling in the CBT workbook then decided to move my answers elsewhere because the annotating feature in the ebook app is getting annoying, started my day at 8 with the usual minimalist morning routine
10/30 mins of the same beginner pilates workout i did a few days ago except i forgot to breathe and ended up so light-headed i couldn't go anymore...
filling in CBT workbook because i can't get the reflection questions out of my head until i answer them... 😣 so far, nothing new has been revealed to me, but in the busy-ness of the day-to-day, i tend to neglect ALL the other dimensions of my life and then forget that that's why i feel so shitty and the problem is the self-prompted reflection i tend to do at this time carries a lot of negativity and pessimism and comparison and judgment and it's not very organized, it's actually not organized at all, it's always just a word vomit. but when i do it now, with the tone of the categorized prompts not being judgy at all, i'm able to look at my problems more objectively and holistically and like "oh okay, i'm not doing as bad in this dimension as i thought and the REAL problem is this other dimension of life and all the specific things you mention are lacking here" and idk, sometimes i think it's weird that my brain works this way, it's like i was looking at the same picture the entire time and all i had to do was turn it a bit to the left for it to make sense. is this how brains normally work? 😅
finished last week's microbio module
researching for global health assignment...will begin writing tmr 😅👍
finished section 1/2 of last week's immunology module and started the loooong second section 🥴👍
🎧 some nights – fun.
@zzzzzestforlife tagged me to do this picrew! it was fun. and it's so coincidental that i've been thinking about ghosts lately! the past versions of us that we follow without question when they tell us what to do, what not to do, and what we should aspire for... ☁️ sometimes those ghosts are right...and sometimes they're just plain toxic.
tagging @whenmemoriesfrost @chemblrish @ecologie-txt @winryrockbellwannabe @obakanosandoitchi if you want to :)
#idk sometimes navigating social media feels like navigating another school playground 🤷🏻♀️#studyblr#studyspo#study aesthetic#mental health#study motivation#study inspiration#late night thoughts#popularity#becoming that girl#pilates girl#pilates princess#wonyoungism#that girl#it girl#clean girl#astudentslifebuoy#high value woman#heydilli#heyfrithams#studyingwithmila#100dop#therapy#mental wellness#mental health matters#cognitive behavioral therapy#100 days of productivity#100 days of studying#100 days of self discipline#50 days of routine
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#gonna be depressing in the tags for a moment#pls excuse me#but whenevery i see a pair of friends that are like soulmates together#who laugh and scream about what they love and have so many things in common#i always become the personification of ''i want what they have''#ever since i was a child i would pray (you heard that right lol) to get a best friend who shared my interests and passions#(and who was gay but that's included in interests and passions lol tho i didn't know it at the time)#i dream with the sitcom worthy friendships with the you get the key to my house and you can come in whenever#we just spend days sitting together and not even talking just being there#or the next best thing. find it online!#but that will never happen and i need to accept that#not even for lack of trying... i even went to a hobby class for a whole month trying to make friends irl#but it's impossible for the simplest reason... i don't enjoy it!#every time i try to do something new and out of my comfort zone i fail misserably because it's literal hell to me#how can i make a friend if i cannot talk to people?#online or whatever?!#i can't even talk to the people i know from school or whatever#i put in so much fucking effort and freak myself out!#and it's not working and it won't work and idk what to do about it!#so yeah i don't think i'm capable of having meaningful relationships actually#and i need to really accept that cause otherwise i will forever dream with it#like i need to stop trying to chase after it it's just not gonna happen#i guess people have these feelings about romantic partners? well not me lol#anyways...#angel talks#personal
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I've seen a lot of different takes on Fear Toxin/other fear causing stuff (Yellow Lanterns Ring or something)(later just called Fear Toxin cause I'm lazy) but here is another one.
Danny seems like he isn't affected by Fear Toxin because his biggest fear is that his accident changed him so much he is no longer human, he can no longer truly experience human things.
So when he gets lungful of fear Toxin, he feels normal. He was antsy before, because c'mon, it's a rogue attack but it's not worse. Or so he thought. Because the anxiety lingers. Not enough to register as abnormal just this slight hypervigilance that makes you see things about yourself and your surroundings that you'd never realize otherwise. He'd realize he doesn't blink as often. He'd realize that if he doesn't consciously focus, he sometimes seems to not touch the ground. Forgets to breathe. He can't feel his own pulse at time. He'd realize people will miss him when he's walking down the street as if he was invisible (people just don't care about everyone they pass by). When he'd look straight into his reflection, he'd look slightly to the left. Not enough to actually name anything that was wrong but just stretched enough to fall on the wrong side of the uncanny valley. If he just caught his reflection in the peripheral vision, it'd be vaguely shadowy creature with glowing green eyes and white smoke instead of hair. Overall he'd be just wrong enough to be distinctly not human.
For everyone else, he'd be just a dude. Literally couldn't find more normal dude than this dude. Will pass as absolutely normal human unless someone is specifically looking for ecto-ghost stuff. Even most magic users wouldn't clock him at the glance
Tldr: Fear Toxin makes Danny perceive himself as some sort of eldritch horror but not enough to make him believe he'd actually be affected, while from outside perspective he's Just A Dude™
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#fear toxin#please no Ghost King#nothing against this au but i don't think it'll mesh well woth this idea#probably works best with danny soon after accident#maybe still believing all of his parents anti-ghost propaganda#that'd add to angst for sure#idk why he is somewhere where he could be affected#idk who would realize something is wrong#up to whoever wants to do expand on this prompt#he'd cry when someone tells him he's been in fact affected by fear causing thing#because this means he *is* human and while he was fundamentally changed by his death#it didn't fully get rid of his humanity#but he won't tell that too busy being relieved so whoever delivered the news would be in for the ride#actually it'd be cool if it was someone who has superpowers but they showed up later in their life#parallels y'know#... i may still not be normal about “i wonder what could lie beyond infinity” by Numinous_Scribe on ao3...#top notch fic go read it great Clark characterization#anyway because plot kinda escaped me#hope this idea scratches someone's creative braincell or something#im curious what y'all will make out of it#yellow lantern#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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I thought i escaped sims 4 but it's dragged my dumbass back again.
I hate this game. I need so many mods just to be able to just to fix it so i can play without being frustrated. but no matter how frustrated i get, i keep coming back : /
Anyways! Like my new little me? (i forgot what they're called. Avatar? *Shrug*) I'll put some more stuff (and doodles) about them under the cut
They're a candle! The body and oversize hoodie are all the wax and the undercut ponytail is the little flame (like Ember from Danny Phantom lol). Her feet are kinda goopy and her hands never show b/c the sleeves of the hoodie drip over them (sometimes driping off completely.)
i got kinda bored with my old one (drawing me but purple) so they got a little upgrade for my silly little personal doodles.
That is all : )
#random stuff#my doodles#idk what to call this#i will answer asks tomorrow#i started to do so today#but ran out of words halfway through#unfortunately i discovered the ultimate decades challenge in sims 4#which is fasinating me atm b/c it adds dice rolls to see if your sims live into each lifestage#and also the whole keeping track of how many years pass#i might keep this style of gameplay b/c i really like seeing how much time passes#and beign able to use my dice to add some randomness to my game is fantastic#it's been about 35 years in my game so far (with every 4 sim days being an approximate year)#my starting sim is now an exhausted 47 yo man#he had recently handed off his 'head of family' title to his only surviving son#but then the son died so he had to take it back#(i'm really hoping his grandson makes it to adulthood or i won't have an heir)#i'm pretty excited for the life and death expansion coming out soon#it goes well with this game since i'm gonna need those funerals lol#(also saw that your sims can have a baby with the grim reaper and that certainly has my attention : ) )#(that was one of the first things i tried to do when i first got the game)#(and i was so mad that it didn't work lol!)
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coming on here to post techza then dipping for a day or two 💪 this one even has my mother's approval
#this is actually a redraw#if you look waaay down my account you'll find the og#please don't#it's bad#also when my mother said “oh let's see what you're doing” i just about shit myself#but she was supportive in the end so it's okay!#fanart#art#drawing#mcyt#mcyt fanart#traditional art#techza#traditional drawing#decided i won't tag t3ch and ph1l for the common courtesy of it idk if that's how that works here anymore#dream smp#cc not c#dsmp
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I hate Thoma from Tokyo debunker
Don't know why but I just hate him not as much as I hate leo but you get it and I needed to get it off my chest
That's it
Thank you for reading my bullshit
Unfortunately, I am in love with him TᴖT I want him so bad it is unfunny, pathetic even. He would laugh, degrade me, and I would fall further because I find that hot for reasons I might want to bring up with my therapist.
I have mentioned I think Tohma might have someone outside of Darkwick he is trying to work towards a better world for. I like to think it's a sibling, maybe a younger sister because I have been reading Tokyo Revengers again- idk I just know he's got some softness in there. He likes taking walks in nature and that's the one thing we know about him. I want to give him flowers-
I am so sorry anon please forgive me for simping
#<3 asks#tokyo debunker#tdb#tohma ishibashi#because i make everything about future kid aus i had this stupid idea of like#mc who has a kid from a hook up w delinquent tohma but when he became a ghoul darkwick erased her memories#so like tohma has to sit and seethe over how the matches don't work on her now but did back when he was ruining his life#he has questions he can't ask#he has to watch rui and haku hit on his child's mom and he's not able to do anything about it#... and then someone shows up and starts messing with ghouls missions trying to protect the mc#idk i need to go back to sleep#(to be clear that's not what i had in mind for the actual au I'm working on it was just a lame idea i won't do anything with)#(idk i just like love triangles with tohma i think he works well with them)
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How to Super Boop & evil Boop on desktop.
Super Boop:
Hold down/hover over the boop paw button or the boop back prompt for at least one rotation cycle of the text or paw.
Evil Boop:
Hold down/hover over the boop paw button or the boop back prompt for at least three rotation cycles of the text or paw.
I hit post limit so apologies if I can't post this guide in time. 😩💜
#that's how you do it; I wonder if anyone's found any secret other ways to boop people#maybe six rotations for a super evil boop or 9 idk#these from what i've seen also won't increase your boop meter by any means; just adds 1 more boop#it will however make you stand out in the person's boop notifications as their own notification rather than being grouped in#wonder what would happen if like 100 or 45 people all evil boop or super boop at the same time#would it group them up in notifications then or would it still have them be separate??#more behind the scenes stuff about this update I guess via this how to guide#if anyone has any insight into how it works on mobile or even mobile browsers like safari please let me know!#mine#op#april fool's day#boop o meter#evil boop#super boop
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thank you for the tag, @sasheneskywalker!!!
rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.
favorite color: it changes regularly, but currently, a dusty/greyish purple
last song: Maps by The Front Bottoms
currently reading:
Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver is my current fiction read and i *hate* it with my entire being. don't read it.
Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets through Capital, Labor, & Power by Alice Sparkly Kat is my current non-fiction read and so far, it's very good
i'm reading a lot of comics at the moment, but my main read is Manhunter (2004) which so far, is very good, i highly recommend. i'm also planning to read Midnighter (2007) and Black Widow (2014).
currently watching:
The Acolyte has been my most recent fixation so that's just on loop rewatching over and over in the background. a lot
i've been watching Pennyworth which is far better than i expected it to be, i'm really enjoying it
i also started Invincible, which i've been enjoying
idk if it counts but i've rewatched Madame Web a concerning number of times in the past few days.
currently craving: i'd kill for an Italian Cream Soda from tea2go rn
coffee or tea: tea. i used to be a big coffee person in my teens but my chronic illness doesn't like caffeine and it *really* doesn't like coffee so i just drink tea now, but i do love tea
hobby to try: the unrealistic hobby i'd like to get into a fanfiction binding, but that takes materials and resources i do *not* currently have. i think a more realistic answer is i've been meaning to get into marvel comics more.
current au: tbh the main AU i'm working on is a Lance Brunner-centric Post-Crisis fic where i'm completely rewriting his origins to make his death as Robin more significant but still something no one talks about, leading to the ressurection of Jason also reviving Lance and Jason going on his little spree, having no idea he's not the only dead Robin. i've figured out all of the backstory and how i want to characterize Lance, but the actual plot of the fic i'm still working out. i'm leaning toward Lance/Dick as a ship, but i haven't decided. i have so many notes and ideas though and i think it's funny to take a random one-off character from a random 60s comic and actually turn him into something substantial and how he'd shape the Batfamily. trust me i'm so close to infodumping about it here everyday.
i'm also working on a *really* messed up unhealthy Damian/Tim fic, where Damian purposefully breaks the timeline so Tim was never Robin and Damian was the third Robin instead. but when Bruce "dies" Damian realizes he has no idea where to start with finding Bruce so he has to go to a civilian!Tim for help, who has no idea the timeline was changed or that he was ever Robin in a different world. it's gonna be fun and fucked up and full of Damian's jealousy complex over Tim.
i don't know if i can come up with nine whole people to tag for this since i'm still new here but i can try: @searchforahero @divine-dominion @kevin-day-is-bi @kerakeriza @deepwithintheabyss
@maryshellyswife @alicemaem @justmyshittyspace @sandmanwhore and yeah that's all i got.just tagging some mutuals/ppl i see on my posts a lot!!!
#necrotic ramblings#tag game#!!!! ty sm for tagging me in this aaaaa i love tag games#also sashene the omegaverse worldbuilding thing you're working on sounds so cool.#i *love* well built omegaverse worlds so much that consider real world dynamics and mechanics. cannot wait#sorry tagging random ppl is awkward i rlly don't have many mutuals yet#but i see all the lil ppl who mass like/reblog my stuff at once and i love all of you.#i do recognize who consistently interacts with my stuff. i see it all.#idk how to be cool mutual friends with ppl tho. socialization isn't my forte#which is weird bc it *used* to be. idk what happpened.#i had to text my groupchat for their tumblr handles so i could make it to nine whole ppl#ty alice ronnie and skye for being my sacrifices <3 y'all have to suffer with knowing my batcest blog now.#the lance brunner idea is plaguing me though i think it's really funny#i've had it in my head since i read the comic he's in. bc there's only one. after seeing posts about him#he's fucking ridiculous but. i see potential i won't lie#this was delightful tho i miss doing tag games. 10/10.
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I have seen you talking about Dick & Dami's relationship and Dick & Tim as well,but what are your takes on Dick and Jason actually?
Like how you wish their relationship should be portrayed today and where are them missing when it comes to making those two acting like siblings?
Do you think in the past their dynamic was better?
How Dick views Jason and how Jason views Dick?
This is difficult to answer because there are like 8 different stages to Dick and Jason's relationship with various dynamics. They also view each other a bit differently depending on which stage we're talking about.
The way I would like their relationship to be portrayed today isn’t necessarily possible thanks to Jason’s integration into the family and acceptance of the no killing moral code. For me, their ideal dynamic is portrayed in Outsiders #44-46. And I know people are gonna find that regressive as hell but, tbh, that dynamic is far more interesting than the kinda awkward thing they have going on now.
Although, I don't mind that they acknowledge their brotherhood in a serious manner now. Like before they'd kinda be like, "Eh... I mean... we were adopted from the same guy but... brothers? Eh..." And now they're more firmly in the, "We're brothers," camp. So that development is interesting.
Character progression wise, it wouldn't feel right for for them to be super close in the way that, say, Dick and Tim are (unless we saw a lot of trust and relationship building between them), but at the same time, there is part of me that kind of wants them to have that older sibling bond (except Jason is closer in age to Tim than he is to Dick sooo actually let's just leave older sibling things to Dick and Cass... not that Cass is much older than Jason though so LOL this is why Dick has to lone the oldest sibling thing by himself... which is funny because Dick is technically no longer the oldest sibling, he's a baby brother now... except Dick and Melinda's relationship really hasn't progressed much sooo you could say they share blood but don't consider each other family yet, in which case, Dick is still the oldest... I mean, regardless, Dick is the oldest sibling of the Waynes... god why did they have to make all of this so difficult 😫).
#jason's like blerghhh dad always loved you best. but also hey we should work together bc you're a killer like me#and then jason's also like hey dick you were the most amazing thing i've ever seen and idk you're cool but i won't say that to you#and then he's also like hey dick i've got girl advice for you and i also need your opinion on my hair. oh now bane is trying to kill us#and then he's also like oh you got amnesia? i don't give a fuck about you and maybe i'll kill you#and he's also like oh you trust me? okay well... we're brothers and i'm gonna save you#and then dick's like oh hey kid call me if you need me. oh you died? i am literally devastated i'm so sorry#and he's also like wow you're very good at what you do but i don't trust you... okay but i trust the intel you're giving me sooo....#and then he's like why the fuck are you dressing like me and killing people?? quit doing stupid shit!!#and then he's like jason what the fuck are you doing--let me help you!!#and then he's like kinda indifferent to jason but jason is still Ugh this family is stupid why am i here#and then dick's like ofc i'm gonna come help you if you need me but also this is awkward af and things are weird between us so bye#except not bye because i'm staying here to help you and your team#and then dick's like i'm being controlled by joker so i'm gonna kill yoooou#and then he's like eh i trust you and i'm gonna help you bc we're brothers but you literally wrecked bruce's car you numbskull#and then he's like you're doing dumb shit and i have to take you down but oh thanks for not letting the train kill me#and then they're both like meh we're doing shit w the batfam even though neither of us should be here rn#and yeah that's how it goes. that's. literally it. writers cannot keep their relationship consistent in the long term#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#relationship analysis#anon
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Kinda gross? personal things under cut
Got an appointment for next Friday where someone comes to my home to assess my care level, basically if I'm in need of some help in everyday life. I do hope that this gets approved, because I'm barely able to do some cooking for myself, bare minimum of washing and the dishes and the utter bare minimum of other housekeeping stuff... but that's about it. I can't even take showers every day like I used to, I take a full bath once a week and other than that have to make do with brushing teeth and washing my face every day. I definitely need someone to help with groceries especially since my sister won't be able to take care of that for me forever. I need help physically getting to doctor's appointments and such, since I'm not able to drive myself nor use public transport anymore. And tbh, it would be nice to have a cleaner apartment 😅 I do spot clean here and there if it's really necessary and I'm a rather organized person so my apartment doesn't look, like, totally run down or anything, but I can't do a normal cleaning routine regularly anymore (like your usual once a week vacuuming/ mopping, changing sheets every month and stuff like that). I can do these things myself like 2-3 times a year max. Sure it won't kill me or anything and the cleaning is honestly the least of my concerns, but it would be beneficial to my mental health too to live in cleaner surroundings.
Ugh. Keep your fingers crossed for me! 🙈
#random stuff#sorry that's a little gross 🙈#but I hope they will conclude that I do need a little bit of help#idk what I'm gonna do if they deny that#if my sister starts her new work she likely won't have time to drive me around anymore#chronic illness#me/cfs#disability#I am effing nervous about this#I've been procrastinating this for a loooong time because of the stress it brings with it#and the fear that they'll laugh at me and brush all of this off#and all the stress was for nothing in the end#also I don't really want strangers in my apartment regularly 😣#what if they're assholes#or if they bring strong odors with them like perfume#or weird energy#I'm very sensitive to all of this and if it wasn't for the mobility issues I probably wouldn't even have applied#buuuut if it was a normal helpful non-smelling person it would improve my situation very much honestly 😅#ah well#well see what happens#wait and see now
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?
so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!
#this is *only* for starstruck and is not general requests! i'm just trying to figure out how i feel about this 😳#obviously no guarantees that i will be confident enough to draw any of these or that i'll enjoy them all but i just... am considering it?#idk idk idk is this stupid....#hope i won't regret this or won't get genuinely weirdass things.#just to be transparent this is sfw exclusively tho implied flirting is a-okay. please don't be weird....? i'm trusting folks to be nice!!#i would also happily take little prompts if you have thoughts about how it would work or whichever! like if you're a character Understander#if you have an idea how it would Work or what it might Be Like that would also help me to get a concept on how i feel about it!!#also i would.. consider ocs (only from their creator) if you... wanna??? character+artist *must* be an adult. starstruck is in her early 30#also with ocs preferably from folks who i've at least interacted with before and like.. not just bc u want art ;;;#like... do u geniunely think they could have a cute dynamic? i'm just wondering if she could be Cute w someone. AUUghhGHHHH#again no promises and also for now i need this all done on the assumption it's just for fun!! just funsies. i'm just... thinking i guess!#want to try and figure out what it might be like if she WAS involved in a little ship/romo space...? as a treat? auughghhggghGHGLLG#also fair warning i may just get super embarrassed/nervous about this all and delete!! but i'm.. yknow. trying!#also i figure you can kind of tell my faves and who i hardly know much about. might not have lots of feelings about most side chars!#delete later#probably#wheeeeeEEEEeeahahahah okay;;; just post it. just post it starflung. just do it. hit the button hit the button hit the b
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