#and it's not like im very social anyways
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Someone please talk Zelda at me. It's all that's been on my mind and I have no one to talk to about it rn. 😥
#i have a coworker at my new job#who apparently is really into zelda#but we only shared lunch once#and im such a bad conversationalist#we didn't really talk#but i have wanted to pick is brain about zelda#im not really looking for friends rn#but there are a lot of teenagers on this job#and they already have their own little clicks i just don't vibe with#so im so so so bored on breaks and stuff#and it's not like im very social anyways#but to build a familiarity with SOMEONE would be nice#i just don't want it to be the kids#lol#its just awkward being the new guy#but even so when you're bad at being around people#i just don't connect well with others
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Two former military elites taking merc jobs perform absolutely hellish battle tactics together.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#estinien wyrmblood#adventurer zenos#I will always adore this duo conceptually#because like- socially theyre that aragorn-geralt brooding in a corner of a tavern meme#but in combat they are absolutely terrifying#the azure dragoon and the super soldier legatus are here to fuck up a poachers day#aka zenos is about to crossmap someone's airship cause he knows estinien cant make himself jump that far#why have him try to jump when he can just Olympic-level javelin toss this man#also guys#my dudes#all this time I've been working on adven!zenos being a tank#I... have realized I just write him like a warrior who isnt carrying a weapon- sturdy unkillableness and countering and all#I am only a little bit of a dumbass but orogeny just seems to live in my head rent free#it also gave me the terrifying concept of- after spending time with the scions and after the ultimatum-#of him trying to learn more about dynamis- and zenos being zenos starts learning eventually how to harness it#local calm apathetic man can berserk on command because he's a lot angrier/more expressive inwardly than most people expect#depending on how I look into it- it might be how he fuels most of his shinryu transformations but I'll have to work on it more#but ANYWAYS#I love the thought of these two hunting and working together#and estinien being tossed being turned into a tactic#especially with proper form#this is something ive wanted to draw for a very long time and im very happy I actually have the skill to do so now
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You know I probably would have figured out something was up with me genderwise sooner if people assigned female at birth were not conditioned from a young age to absolutely loathe their bodies in order to sell beauty products and diets and unattainable standards
#spitblaze says things#very hard to recognize that the background radiation in ur life is dysphoria under the unrelenting pressure of societal misogyny!!!#like i understand where some people are coming from when they say that transmascs are only transitioning to escape misogyny#which like. fuckin hell i WISH that worked. this shit is inescapable#but also we arent transitioning because of misogyny. were transitioning in spite of it#the entire point of misogyny is to keep Those Who Are Not Men in line#im not 'escaping misogyny' any more than the lesbians who refuse to style themselves to heteronormative tastes#'yeah but passing trans men get male privilege' yea maybe socially. and its not like im fuckin asking for it. i dont want this shit#you think i asked for that shit?? you think stealth and passing transmascs dont push back against misogyny and patriarchy???#weve been on the other side. we know what its like#obvs theres gonna be shitty individuals but if ur letting like three or four dudes shape ur perception of a whole group thats another issue#got off track there but i suppose thats what the notes are for#anyway te/-rfs. die. womanhood is not defined by suffering and you’re all defeatest reactionary shitheads
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i have this really stupid idea in my head that im frankly a little obsessed with and the idea is this: trent crimm doing a drunk history episode on ted lasso's first tenure at richmond. is that how drunk history works? i don't think so. do i care? absolutely not. it's a special episode who cares because this image is not only hysterical to me but treasured. i treasure this image. i hold it close in my heart and also laugh and laugh and laugh.
#ted is played by what is very visibly a butch lesbian in a huge fake mustache.#roy is inexplicably played by himself in a wig.#ternt drunkenly and passionately explaining this whole thing. he says his own line and the trent actor (who also has a wig) gets to act it#trent waving his hands as he's explaining all this. the host being like 'not very often we get to have someone include the part where They#come into the story' and trents like [dorkiest finger guns]#also yes i said first tenure bc this scenario lives in post canon fantasy fix it land where ambiguously ted comes back to richmond#at some point. and also both bc my tedependent heart is obsessed and bc it's really funny#marries trent. just bc i want this to end with trent--hammered and pleased as punch--being like AND THEN I MARRIED HIM!!!!!#[falls back on couch happily] :)#also in the line of that great 5+1 social media fic#by jessjessthebest. a sequel thats just like a youtube video like#'we made ted lasso and trent crimm watch that episode of drunk history about them' and trent is just. head in hands the whole time.#ted is DELIGHTED.#anyway i rotate this in my brain fucking DAILY. it's so goddamn funny to me.#ted lasso#tedependent#tedtrent#trent crimm#the line in question being 'is this a fucking joke' i just realized i did not clarify that#no but really im obsessed with this it's so fucking funny#also any image trent had left of being a ruthless ex journalist is thoroughly ruined#all of his former colleagues have seen him and drunk and giggling and fully admitting what he was thinking at the time and oh boy#hes a disaster <3#gertspeak
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explaining to a coworker I don't socialize out of work bc of The Anxiety. then later explaining why i have gray in my hair.... it's... still The Anxieties...... goin' gray since my early 20s........
#man its rough when people who dont have anxiety have to ask a million questions that the answer is just The Anxiety#like im sorry i dont socialize or want to have a conversation while three other people are in the room talking#its just a lot of overstimulation ok im just suffering please stop asking me things...#i get the loop of im failing a social interaction in my brain which makes it harder to win at a conversation#like every normal person would consider conversations as something you can lose or fail or win (?)#had another coworker who ive only really seen ? but he argues with the one asking me about my hobbies n social life#and so i saw him today and he was i think probably training or showing another guy around#and he was real quick to say no to helping me and im lik e???? i didnt ask for help?#and the other guy was like is that a constant thing? and he said no not me yet but he had to assert dominance#and i looked at him and told him very plainly#i am a pushover with anxiety you dont have to assert dominance at all i promise#and he actually looked kind of taken aback and guilty for snapping on me for no reason so then im like#oh great just me saying i hope to not cause problems caused a problem#anyway ........ i wanted to draw a halloween thing but i just dont have the spoons rn
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i do not anticipate being on here much in november but just know i miss you all and i love you 🤍
#please take care of yourselves <3 and be kind to yourself and those around you !!!#im deleting all socials including discord so#if i don’t respond to you for a while i apologize pls know i’m not ignoring u :(#i think i’ve been spending too much time saying i’m gonna do this and do that and then i don’t do anything . so#i’m going to attempt to do some good for myself the last couple months of the year 🤍#and if im being honest i don’t think i’ll do any writing … but if i do i’ll post on ao3 just so u know#also ik i have a lot of unread asks but i just don’t have the energy to go through them like i planned :( so i’m very sorry#anyway that’s all i got. i’ll see u when i see u <3
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Not to be rude, but I just read your bio, and did you not draw Chasriel nsfw? I checked and it seems as though you've gotten it taken off of e621 in the last few months, which is good, but I'm a little curious if you're hypocritical now and just trying to hide it, or you've stopped drawing such things entirely.
WTFFF BRUHHH I HAVE NEVER MADE NSFW IN MY LIFE!!! BUT ALSO CHASRIEL IS FUCKING GROSS!!!!! EWWW THOSE ARE SIBLINGS AND ALSO KIDS,,,,, WITH WHO TF ARE YOU CONFUSING ME WITH TOO???HUHH??? AND WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS e621????
ALSO WHY ARE YOU CALLED LIKE THAT, IM NOT TURNING EVER ANON BACK ON IF IM GOING TO GET THINGS LIKE THIS LMAO
#like huhhhh#i think my art style is also like unique enough so im so confused on who are you even confusing me with#are you blind?#no way someone has a close enough art style to mine to get confused like thatttt#but also ewwwwwww ugh#this annoys me to hell bro#I HATE THE PEOPLE THAT DRAW THINGS LIKE THAT#ask#FUCK YOU ANON ALSO DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE CALLING ME THESE THINGS EW EW EW#edit:#okay anon said that they saw that drawing very quickly and instead focused on the name it was credited for#aparently it was credited to me for whatever reason and aparently is no longer up#which is good never credit me wrongly me in weird shit like that ew i hope the worst to whoever did that shit#i still think anon should have asked me personally instead of straight up assuming i would make something like that#anyways#i hope this does not happen again and also just as a reminder i would NEVER make weirdo shit i truly hate that stuff so much#oh and also i only post in the socials in my carrd i still have no fucking idea where anon saw that art that supposedly was credited to me
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"Uh- I'm Arnold. Bennett. It's profoundly difficult to get your lifes works and studies accepted if your name isn't... yes, oh! Are you a fan of moths, sir?"
NEW RDR2 OC!! a reclusive, clumsy entomologist and bug collector; cooped up in his study of uniformed clutter
#i drew him on such a tiny file 😭😭DIDNT THINK ABT IT im so used to drawing less detailed big headed trolls BWHAHA#I'm still figuring out where he's from and his lore!#he's definitely from south asia... I'm leaning towards him originally being from Sri Lanka#which I BELIEVE was called Ceylon at the time under british rule#im looking forward to spending some time on researching this further before coming to any conclusions. for now his backstory isss vague#and practically nonexistant#he now lives in Saint Denis! if he was in game his study would be accessible#likely through a greenhouse similar to Algernon's encounters yknow!!#some stained glass windowss lots of lamps and dark academia inspo... also agitha twilight princess inspired#he's very socially awkward and clumsy#used to being a recluse and submitting his findings and works semi-anonymously through his name but without a face#so when he encounters arthur or john OR the player if in online he's VERY surprised and even clumsier#but extremely enthusiastic to share his passions#LISTEN I'm playing rdr2 for hours almost every day but I can't tell if insects are studyable#IF it was a feature THIS MAN!!! would be the one to send you on missions related to it ESPECIALLY online#ANYWAY!!!! these r things that have instantly come to mind for him!! I hope I can develop him a little more with time and research#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption#rdr2#rdr#OC#original character#protagonist ocs#I NEVER POST MY OCS ON HERE i need 2 start posting them again#OH AND OBVIOUSLY he changed his name at least professionally... idk if it was legally or he just went around signing off as a different nam#unless someone asks for his original name he probably won't give it#i need 2 adjust his sideburns because theyr meant to be all white with some line definition but i forgot abt it 💀
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tumblr kww fandom was formed seperately from most other social media corners of the fandom. and that leads to silly things like the commonly used name "kww collab" and kenfies vs kenifies. and probably more. cedar if theres any more im forgetting that u know of say them pls
(in response to this confession)
#confessions#series: kww collab#very true! i have not interacted w ANY other part of the fandom myself#but. it fascinates me deeply#i think that like. the kww collab fandom on tumblr is innately based off the original theorisers? maybe???#like. i was the one who came up w calling it kww collab bcs we needed a tag to group all our theories! thats the origin of the name!#ship name kenfies MIGHTT have come from this blog? i have a discord message of me coming up w it on jul 1 bcs there was a confession abtthe#and kenfies is what i went with. thats the best explanation i have (the funniest part is me not even shipping them)#(an alternative was wifen (as proposed by nia))#this fandom was just innately started differently and in isolation#and its really fucking interesting#tumblr users often not using any other social media plays into it too i think ?#but. yeah i cant think of any other examples that would showcase this difference bcs as mentioned i am just not on other places LMAO#ao3 ofen being heavily associated w tumblr as WELL AS saiint havng posted a Lot of kww fanfic is also the reson why kww collab is usedon ao#anyway yep you are right. i am deeply fascinated#yet another long ramble in the tags#(yk i just realised that this sounds like im tooting my own horn and trust me chat im not sorry if it came off that way sadfhslgk.#i just SOMEHOW was vaguely important in this fandom i guess)
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nm just a girl freaking out about going to college and having to share a living space with people like actual humans-
#scarlet rambles#college life#coming of age#growing up#I AM NOT READY FOR THIS#i-#most of the hostels have 2 to 4 people living in the same room wtf#ALSO COMMUNAL BATHROOM?#like what if i have to go in the middle of the night#imma have to leave the room?#also sharing with maybe 3 people i can manage but-#THE ENTIRE FLOOR??#also the stalls are so tiny-#and i cannot imagine eating mess food-#just kill me#what if i get a college far away and i cannot speak the language they speak#like sure they can speak english but theyll prefer their mother tongue right#also im gonna have to SOCIALISE?#AND MAKE FRIENDS?#I CAN NOT#I AM IN INTROVERT#ALL THE FRIENDS I HAVE ARE THOSE THAT ADOPTED ME#INTO THEIR FRIEND GROUPS#what is the etiquette anyway#someone give me the guide of having roommates#i am very much out as bi to my friends and on social media but im scared about having to do that all over again in college#and if i get a college in some small town then coming out wont even be safe#i dunno
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inside every bg3 adult is a da2 child
#da2#dragon age 2#fun fact. i was so obsessed w da2 as a child i started speaking w a british accent bc of it.#so lucky i didnt have social media as a middle schooler i wouldve been getting into full on verbal fistfights w fandom adults over this gam#ANYWAY. i heart anders . double bipolar+borderline king...hes just like me fr#this is all a very dumb way of saying im getting back into da and will probs make art for it atsome point teehee
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the au revives for a moment....more arranged marriage au stuff with asmo and reader! Last thing I posted was this. This new scenario def happens once Asmo starts to actual warm up to MC, hence why MC is acting the way they are.
but yea this ones pretty short but i think its worth sharing since i wrote most of it already!
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"Asmodeus can you please get out of my closet?"
He currently eyes one of your casual wears in his hand. "I'm almost done! I just wanted to see what you usually wear..."
Several maids also stood in your room, holding up different outfits you would wear on a day to day basis. Asmodeus kept handing them off to them as he kept going in and out of your closet.
You sigh at the unnecessary work he was giving the staff but they surprisingly seemed to be having fun talking among themselves and with him. Actually it shouldn't really be surprising at all. This was most definitely the norm for them.
You hold back an annoyed groan. "Okay well when you're done make sure everything is put back. I'm leaving."
"Ah! Wait come here. I need you actually! I want to see how these outfits actually look on you."
You stare at him and he stares right back. "......I'm not changing in and out of all these clothes. Asmodeus why exactly are you looking through my stuff anyways?"
"I'm obviously going to revitalize your whole wardrobe. You're welcome."
"You really don't need to do that." You immediately start worrying about the type of clothes Asmodeus would pick out. You had these clothes specifically cause they were comfortable for you appearance and physical wise.
You walk up to him a take your outfit out of his hands. "I like my clothes as they are thank you." You turn towards the maids, "Everyone please put everything back."
"Everyone stay."
The maids stand in place unsure of what to do with conflicting commands. However, they were technically were Asmodeus's maids first and yours second.
"MC I'm trying to do something nice for you?"
"I understand that but I like these clothes..."
You did not understand and didn't really consider it nice.
"I'm not going to get rid of what you have silly! I'm adding to it."
Oh. Well that didn't sound as bad...
"Still that's not really necessary. I'll probably just stick to what I already have."
Asmodeus lets out an over the top sigh. "It's bad to reject a gift dear. Trust me on this, ill pick things that fit you well. Now can you try on the outfit in your hand? It shouldn't be too hard to put on your own."
...Dear?
#asmodeus x reader#obey me asmodeus#obey me nightbringer#what if i said i forgot this was in my notes pretty much finished and i forgot about it🎤🎶#okay this is the last one i have done tho fr#i want to do one more scenario cause it would be cute#but not promising anything cause i have to write it out oof#and i make fan stuff very sparingly now#but i just wanna go back and post old stuff i have sitting around#so the work i did finish doesnt go to waste!#i have one other asmo fic unrelated to this im gonna post cause....it was a bday fic for him from over a year ago#im sorry asmo ahhhh#idk if anyone else is like this#where posting on socials is so tedious u dont wanna do it lol#ANYWAYS#thanks to the ppl who supported this au#its niche but knowing that even one other person liked it made me wanna keep exploring it#even if for a short while
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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yonny pikmin 4 🫵👍my head in going to explode !!!!🫵💥💥💥💥💥
#i juuuust love him#i wish i wish people gave him more credit for his charisma and genuine social adept-ness#because naturally what you expect of the “unethical doctor” archetype is a recluse. never very popular. introverted tendencies etc etc#buuuut i dont think hes like that#he's got a lighthearted demeanor that makes him seem easy to be around#and i really dont think hes socially awkward by any means. and hes certainly never been anxious lol lol#so probably hes always had an easy and even enjoyable time making friends and networking and all#and chose to befriend the cowardly loner dingo because..idk he likes a challenge#what was i talking about. Hm#if i don t talk about fictional characters the words all stay in my head and i get sick#not art#but i will be working on art so beware 🫵🫵(and alos i have some i've yet to post i just remembered !)#pikmin#pikmin 4#<- is it Presumptuous to place the main “fandom tags” on such a flippant post. well i dont care im evil#this is a meat-sweaty summary of whats been dinging around my inadequate skull anyways.
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veep dad comfort art
#veep dad :]#i have Not been well mentally tbh the second im with friends i DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE anyways ill be VENTING A TINY BIT HERE#i need excitement in my life but im like#has no social life#oopsies...!#so i thought yknow what would make me happy rn. My Veep Dad#yea thats it#also ive been struggling with motivations to play ttcc and draw so....#apologies for being in the game less. especially as im in the post game with almost everything done#im usually kinda really goal oriented in games and yeah having no tasks or close friends to play with#im just kinda THERE and getting that initial push to do stuff is very hard#my motivation has just been at an all time zero (again) and it upsets me bc i do wanna do stuff...not bc ohh productivity but bc#i just wanna HAVE FUNNNN#anyways erm.... thanks for listening to my little rant here again. i dont know where else to express this sort of stuff. feels wrong to dum#it on strangers who i know are there for my art but. whatever. yknow#just wish i was more motivated in general but my life is Just Kinda Sad and im an Antisocial Anxious Wreck Dear Cog#senior vice president#sr vp#veep dad#personal tag if i dont wanna main tag....#doodles#traditional art#guz art#toontown
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I DID IT look at him ong
#about to start making gifs of every video ive ever seen of him that felt like the creation of jesus#anyway whatever have this and use it whenever you want because LOOK AT HIM#cannot stop watching this#matty healy#the 1975#do i tag this properly or not im embarrassed ong social anxiety when i fucking catch you#bfiafl#being funny in a foreign language#atvb#the 1975 atvb#satvb#the 1975 satvb#still at their very best
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