#and it's nice but also WOW okay sure this is happening i guess

[astonmartinii]

day six: not so home for christmas | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem reader

oscar and y/n are having their first christmas in monaco because of a snow storm, unfortunately this also means they're now hosting most of the grid as well.

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 137,094 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: thanks a lot snow storm :( i guess it's our first ever christmas here in monaco

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user1: yall global warming might just be real

user2: you're only just realising it now ?

charles_leclerc: you kids and your complaining - a white christmas in monaco, what more could you want?

yourusername: a christmas at home with our families?

charles_leclerc: families? when you're in your adopted father-in-law's home city, i'd watch your tone if i were you

oscarpiastri: if you think of your kids as often as you say then you should be worried that your aussie son is going to FREEZE to death :(

charles_leclerc: if it's the bbq you crave, you can still do that?

yourusername: it's snowing? and he is NOT bringing our bbq inside

charles_leclerc: okay jeez, not much christmas spirit here i see

oscarpiastri: we miss our families, sue us

user3: wait... if they couldn't get out of nice... who else couldn't

user4: the storm kicked in like a day ago right?

user5: based on instagram activity, my guess is that max, lando, ollie (idk why he was in monaco anyway), kimi (i think he's attached to ollie), alex (and lily) and george

user6: i know it would never happen but wouldn't it be so cute if we got a grid christmas dinner

yourusername: please don't give them any ideas

oscarpiastri: i only just got rid of them 😩

landonorris: so, just out of interest, is y/n still free to maybe wrap my presents for me?

yourusername: do i look like the christmas fairy to you?

landonorris: well i know for a fact that oscar's ass was not wrapping those presents

oscarpiastri: well y/n actually likes doing things for me soooooo

landonorris: PLEASE Y/N I'LL HAVE TO RESORT TO USING TIN FOIL

yourusername: tin foil... please you are a 25 year old man

landonorris: does it look like i'm a man who has sellotape in his house?

yourusername: no.

user7: y/n is like a full time mum to a load of men all older than her

user8: she better get ready to cook for them at christmas because none of these men can cook for themselves

oscarpiastri

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 692,108 others

tagged: yourusername & landonorris

oscarpiastri: i'm not sure how this went from our lonely christmas away from both of our families to babysitting half of the grid but what the hell, sure

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user10: i personally blame all of you for this

user11: and what??? i'm so excited

user12: i hope they post nothing more just to spite your ass

charles_leclerc: i’m kinda offended no one thought of coming to mine :/

maxverstappen1: you’re shit at cooking

charles_leclerc: how would you know?

maxverstappen1: i saw it in your vlog

charles_leclerc: you watch my vlogs???

maxverstappen1: NO?

yourusername: okay queens stop flirting and get back to your stations in the kitchen

charles_leclerc: can we flirt there?

yourusername: if you're still peeling - knock yourselves out

user13: y/n basically confirming lestappen? wow christmas DID come early this year

user14: the real question is why she would let those menaces in the kitchen?

yourusername: i have seen how much these people eat, i need help even from the useless

yourusername: also if they want certain dishes from home they have to help

maxverstappen1: i am CORING AS MANY APPLES AS I CAN I PROMISE THE APPLE BEIGNETS WILL BE WORTH IT

oscarpiastri: i know they will be, y/n is making them

maxverstappen1: okay buddy, i don't see you helping

oscarpiastri: i am keeping everyone else in line, that's a full time job as well

user15: who made the youngest couple in charge of these fools?

user16: a comedic genius

yourusername: they're annoying but i'll deal with them for you

oscarpiastri: you make such sacrifices for me, i love you

yourusername: i love you more

alexalbon: we're really not that bad you guys are being dramatic

yourusername: george walked up to our mantle piece, pointed at my baby picture and said "ugly. my condolences" ?

alexalbon: that's george ? he's mean to everyone

yourusername: HE'S IN THAT BABY'S HOUSE

olliebearman

liked by charles_leclerc, estebanocon and 418,934 others

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri & kimiantonelli

olliebearman: first christmas with my big brother :))))

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user17: yall be on oscar about him holding onto the leclerc family joke but the real enemy is ollie

olliebearman: i think it's cute

olliebearman: and it's NOT a joke

user18: you know what? yeah i'd also keep going with the joke i need to get in that leclerc family

olliebearman: the real catch here is y/n she's going to teach me to crochet :)

yourusername: we can make little bear mans !!!

user19: the grid dad stuff was cringey... but grid brother well that's hitting like crack i fear

charles_leclerc: grid dads are cringey ??? count your days

user19: sorry?

charles_leclerc: i (and my family) will NOT tolerate sebastian vettel slander. not now not EVER

fernandoalo_oficial: and me?

charles_leclerc: i couldn't give a fuck about you old man

fernandoalo_oficial: excuse me

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll have you know i am just as much oscar's father as you are

charles_leclerc: and how have you come to that OBVIOUSLY WRONG conclusion

fernandoalo_oficial: WELL i don't know maybe his REAL grid dad is actually mark webber who i have a well documented homoerotic relationship with and therefore oscar and most importantly Y/N are my children

charles_leclerc: what a load of bullshit

charles_leclerc: if grid children were based on homoerotic tension then i'd be father to all of the red bull juniors and max would have custody of the FDA

maxverstappen1: well....

pepemarti: hi !!!

dinobeganovic: hey.....

yourusername: what happened to the original plot of the movie

user20: i think the cabin fever is getting to them

lilymunhe: no they're like this all of the time it's exhausting

yourusername: tell me about it

olliebearman: but not me :(

yourusername: no we love you

oscarpiastri: you are the least annoying one

olliebearman: omg thank you :3

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 163,207 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc & landonorris

yourusername: not so home for christmas but with family nonetheless

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user22: what was the dress code here?

landonorris: what we had left? all the dry cleaners are closed because of the storm

yourusername: you take ALL of your clothes to the dry cleaners?

landonorris: why wouldn't i do that...

yourusername: yk what, whatever !

user23: omg of course leo was there as well

yourusername: we only invited charles for him

charles_leclerc: excuse me?

landonorris: he was invited ????

oscarpiastri: well he was staying in monaco anyway and you guys all invoked your squatters rights in my house so what was one more

landonorris: i am not squatting? my ass is already big enough as it is

yourusername: i know your ass is big because YOU'RE ALWAYS SAT ON IT

oscarpiastri: god i love you

yourusername: i love you even more

oscarpiastri: nuh uh not possible

yourusername: i love you so much i'm not even that angry about half of the grid crashing our christmas

oscarpiastri: i love you so much that i personally barged a child out of the way to get you your eras tour merch

yourusername: i do love my merch.... but not as much as i love you

oscarpiastri: you're so romantic

georgerussell63: right that's it, i am SICK of you people pretending you are not enjoying our presence

yourusername: did i or did i not say family ???

oscarpiastri: george i'd appreciate if you didn't talk to y/n this way

maxverstappen1: yeah back the fuck off

georgerussell63: why is max here?

maxverstappen1: ummmm y/n busted her ass to make apple beignets for me so i had some netherlands with me at christmas so i would die for her. i am somwhat fond of oscar as well

maxverstappen1: so fuck with them, you fuck with me

maxverstappen1: and you seem to like doing that recently

yourusername: awwww thanks max!

oscarpiastri: we are fond of you too buddy

georgerussell63: how did i lose this?

user24: max out here getting wags on his side

maxverstappen1: that's my ma

maxverstappen1: wait that makes my homoerotic tension with charles incest

maxverstappen1: that's my home girl

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, jackdoohan and 1,094,577 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: y/n absolutely smashed our makeshift grid christmas and she said she'll accept thanks in qualifying tows or easy passes on track 👍

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user25: oh they want me dead

user26: i would do questionable things to get a slice of that cake

user27: drop the recipe please xxx

yourusername: oh babe i be following the tiktoks like the rest of yall - i'll repost it

user28: woman of the people

yourusername: babe i don't really remember saying those exact words...

oscarpiastri: PLEASE ! they don't say no to you now you've filled their stomachs

landonorris: he's not wrong

maxverstappen1: you're in my will now

charles_leclerc: you're now my favourite daughter in law

yourusername: i'm your only daughter in law?

charles_leclerc: idk kimi and ollie are pretty attached with their weird tension

landonorris: like father like son

charles_leclerc: huh?

landonorris: huh?

oscarpiastri: ^^ see !!!! y/n please !!!

yourusername: fine.

yourusername: thank you all for coming, i hope you enjoyed dinner and your time with us. i loved spending time with you all but if you wish, i will be accepting thanks in the form of qualifying tows and easy passes for oscar or pornstar martinis from any hospitality

yourusername: happy?

oscarpiastri: yes

oscarpiastri: YOU HEARD THE WOMAN GUYS

maxverstappen1: oh i love y/n but i'd rather put you in the wall than let that ugly orange car past without a fight

georgerussell63: @fia i told yall

yourusername: are you ever gonna give that up ?

georgerussell63: no? and i KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO SAT ME NEXT TO HIM AT DINNER

yourusername: you'll never prove it :P

user29: oscar is such a sassy man

yourusername: he gets it from his momma

oscarpiastri: and you :)

yourusername: i will say your ability to watch my reality tv with you is a big factor in how much i love you

landonorris: is that why oscar once woke me up the night before a race by shouting "get her ass lisa" ???

oscarpiastri: we watch real housewives together on facetime :)

charles_leclerc

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tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

charles_leclerc: i made the right choice in son and most importantly daughter in law

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user31: okay the cinnamon buns have thrown me over the edge now

user32: i NEED to know who asked for them

alexalbon: guilty 💅 and they slapped thanks y/m

oscarpiastri: we've been dating for years? like when i was still in f3?

charles_leclerc: semantics

oscarpiastri: no i met and charmed y/n all on my own thank you very much

charles_leclerc: because she saw the future and the potential of our prosperous family !!!

oscarpiastri: at this point, whatever you wanna hear old man

charles_leclerc: relegated below ollie

olliebearman: score !!!

user33: oh these people are never letting this joke die are they

user34: i think we're stuck with it

charles_leclerc: are you people sick of whimsy ???

charles_leclerc: i am ALLOWED to flex my son's amazing choice in women, especially a woman who will make me a swiss roll on demand

yourusername: he does have amazing taste

oscarpiastri: thank you :3

yourusername: as much as you guys were somewhat annoying, we had an amazing christmas xx

oscarpiastri: please do not bother us until march

charles_leclerc: fine. but we're still on for the double date in melbourne?

charles_leclerc: (maybe triple? idk ollie can just bring kimi)

kimiantonelli: score !!!

yourusername: we would love to !

oscarpiastri: i guess you could meet my actual family ?

charles_leclerc: not now oscar, let me enjoy chritmas with you all before you remind me of that

oscarpiastri: okay?

user35: y/n and oscar actually have the patience of saints because if these clowns crashed my christmas i'd be on the news

yourusername: any christmas is perfect with him

oscarpiastri: with y/n, i can get through even the most annoying people

user35: okay yall didn't have to flex on me that hard damn

fin.

note: here's day six! i'm not sure if you guys saw my update post but this series won't be done by christmas day but will stretch to NYE because unfortunately my cat has to be put down :( i've had him for nearly 19 years and it's really hard to think about him being gone so i'm just spending as much time as possible with him atm. anyway, i hope you enjoyed !! xx

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) what if chase. what if chase cautiously introduced himself to house and wilson's pup as her (their first pup is a girl) big brother. he barely glances up to see house's reaction for fear of ridicule but house just snorts. "you're an idiot" he says but he doesn't correct chase either.

[monstersflashlight]

Day 2. Monster-kinktober: Artificial intelligence + Handjobs/Temperature play

A/N: This is a prequel piece of this one that nobody asked for but I wanted to write. Also, I took handjob in the literal way, so we have fingering as handjob here. Enjoy!

Robot x fem!reader || dirty talk (kinda), fingering, temperature play, semi-public sex (technically)

When you started working in the factory, you were mesmerized by the robots. You were the only human in your floor and thought they would be more… mechanical. But they weren’t. They looked very much robot-like, but they were great at conversation. They were nice in a very human way, and that only made them even more appealing for you. They were interesting, and weird looking, and a bit androgynous in the best way possible. So nobody would blame you when you say you fell in love with one of them.

It all started in a slow Wednesday afternoon. You had a couple hours until the end of your shift but there wasn’t much to do, so you were just filling some paperwork and trying to look busy without being too obvious about the fact that you were only moving papers around. And then someone knocked on the door of your office. You thought it would be one of the humans of other floors, looking for something and being too stupid to ask the robots. Some humans didn’t like the fact that the company was mainly robot oriented.

But it wasn’t a human. It was your favorite robot looking as weird and mechanic as always, and making your pulse skip a beat as he showed his silver bald head. “Hi! What can I do for you?” You asked cheerfully.

“I have a question,” he said in his monotonous tone, eyes unblinking. At first it was unsettling that they didn’t blink, but you got used to it and now it was a bit exhilarating to be the focus of attention of a robot, they didn’t miss a single movement you did and that called to you in a weird way.

“Okay. What kind of question?” You questioned, looking at him in the most professional way you could muster, but probably failing because he was robotically hot. In a way that made your pussy a little bit wet every time you talked to him.

He didn’t wait more than two seconds before shooting at you: “Do humans like robots?”

“Wow, that’s a big question right there.” You thought about it for a few seconds, trying to organize your thoughts to explain human-supremacy groups to a robot. “Some humans like robots just fine, but other humans think they are inferior to humanity so they…”

He cut you. “No, no. I understand that, I mean if humans like like robots,” he clarified.

And for a moment you were speechless, was he really asking if human and robots could have some kind of romantic or sexual connection? Was that even a possibility? You’d thought about it (a lot), but you never knew robots could feel that way about humans, you weren’t even sure they felt. You knew artificial intelligence was great nowadays, but you weren’t sure and thought it would be rude to ask. Good luck they weren’t scared to ask anything and were always truthful.

“Oh. Oh. I don’t know… Yeah, I guess so. Why not?” You answered, trying to sound neutral about it.

He looked at you for a few more seconds before asking: “Do you like robots? Do you like me?” He caught you completely unprepared for that question.

“What?” You squealed.

“I like you.” You just discovered they could like humans, and your brain was trying to process a thousand little movements and interactions at the same time, trying to figure out if he meant what you thought he meant.

“What do you like about me?” You asked, still confused about what was happening. Was your robot crush really telling you he wanted to have his way with you, too? That wasn’t possible, was it?

“You treat me like an equal, and you are always nice to all robots. Also you look squeeze and I want to touch you.” You choked on a laugh at that part. “Do you like me?” He repeated.

You thought about it for half a second, thinking about the naughty fantasies you had all alone in your house. You thought about all the extra time you spent in his area just to chat with him for a bit. You did have a crush on him. “Yes,” you finally let out, a spark of hope inside your chest.

“Good,” he accepted, his head bobbing up and down in a very non-human way that made you want to smile. “Are you my girlfriend now?” He said, making you giggle.

“Aren’t you going to take me out first?” You joked.

He looked panicked for a second. “Yes. Yes. Human records said we need to go to dinner and to the movies. But I don’t eat, and I’m not allowed into cinemas. But we can skip that and do the fucking, that’s third date as the internet explained,” he deadpanned, making you choke on air and start coughing really hard.

“We can do what?” You choked out, eyes as big as plates as you looked at him.

“The fucking. The internet said human partners used their genitals together to get pleasure. I don’t have genitals, but I can create some,” he explained in his toneless voice, making it sound serious and ridiculous at the same time. He continued: “different shapes, different colors, they can attach. I have them on my desk. I’ll bring them. Wait here,” he ordered.

“Wait!” But he was already gone.

He came back a couple minutes late, carrying a big box full of various dicks of different colors, shapes and even textures. You were looking into the box trying to decipher when your life became so surreal and how did your boring Wednesday end up with a robot boyfriend and a box full of attachable dildos.

“We can try them now,” he announced, reaching to grab one when you stopped him.

“No! We are working.”

“But I want to touch you and I have no job right now. You don’t either. You’ve been moving papers around all day.” You didn’t even have time to process the fact that he was aware of your every moment before he was talking again. “Let me touch you, please.” His voice sounded mechanical and had zero tone to it, but at the same time it sounded like a plea and you found yourself accepting with a soft “okay”.

He approached you and lowered his bald robot head until he was a couple centimeters away from your face, he stared without blinking until you looked away, red blush covering your cheeks. “I like that you can change colors,” he said, making you smile. “Can I see your tits? The internet said human women liked them played with.” His change of behaviour from cute to horny robot made you want to laugh maniacally.

“Some human women do, some don’t,” you explained.

“Do you? Do you like your boobs being played with?” He asked, his head tilted to the side in a very puppy-like gesture that made your heart skip a beat. He was looking at your covered boobs like they held the answers to all his questions. He reached for your buttons and you didn’t stop him.

“Ye- yes,” you stuttered, suddenly nervous as he unbuttoned your shirt and stared at your lacy bra. He lowered it down, exposing your tits to the cold air of the office and making your body shiver.

“Why are they hard?” He asked at the same time he pinched one of your nipples with a bit too much force. You let out a gasp and he released it, just to do it again. You liked that he was playful, it was refreshing.

“It’s cold and they are sensitive,” you let out between heavy breaths.

“They turn hard when cold?” You nodded, and then cried out when his fingers suddenly became as cold as ice as he rubbed your nipples with them, making your back arch on your chair. “Oh. And what happens if it’s hot?” He asked as you felt his hands became scalding hot and you cried out again.

He did it a couple more times, pinching and rubbing and making you lose your mind with just his fingers. You were almost at the edge of a good orgasm when his hands traveled down, popping the button of your pants and rubbing your covered mound.

“The internet said this was the best place to give pleasure. Is that true?” He asked, his hand slipped lower, rubbing over your dripping center. You nodded frantically, grabbing onto the sides of the chair like your life depended on it. “It’s wet and soft,” he noted. You flushed redder, your face flaming hot as he explored the inside of your pants. He pushed your panties to the side and touched right over your aching pussy, making you cry out again, your eyes rolling back into your head. “Do you like that?” You nodded, your teeth biting down on your lips so hard you tasted blood.

He rubbed up and down your pussy for a while, not doing anything crazy, just two fingers collecting your wetness and exploring your most vulnerable place. He hummed every once in a while, looking at you unblinkingly as you squirmed on the seat. And then he found your clit, his fingers rubbing over it with such precision you saw starts and had to cover your mouth.

“I wonder what happens if I apply cold here,” he said out loud as you felt his fingers turning ice cold and your body shivered, more juices dripping from your pussy.

He turned his fingers scorching hot, rubbing your clit, and then cold when he rubbed them over your entrance. You were on edge, but he wasn’t even trying to get you off. You were desperate, wanting to do something, to come, but you wanted to let him explore you some more… It was exhilarating to have him pay such attention to you.

And then he surprised you pushing two fingers inside as he rubbed his thumb over your clit. The combination making your body jerk as he gave you the robot equivalent of a smirk, which looked like a weirdly creepy grin that made your pulse race and your pussy wetter. He crocked his fingers and found your G-spot, faster than any human ever had, and you screamed under your palm. He looked at you and did it again, rubbing your clit and sweet spot at the same time. Your orgasm was so close you could feel it at the tip of your consciousness, but he stopped then. Just for a few seconds, but enough to make you release your hold on the chair and grab his bald metallic head.

“Make me cum,” you pleaded.

He didn’t answer, he just grabbed one of your boobs with his free hand and started rubbing ice cold fingers over your nipple. At the same time the hand in your pants got hotter and hotter, almost too hot, but so, so good. He thrust inside of you a couple times, his thumb rubbing over your clit… and that was it. You screamed as your back arched and your body fell into the most intense orgasm of your life as he stared at your contorted face.

You were coming down from the high when he said: “I liked that. Next time we should try the dildos,” he stated, voice monotonous.

“Yeah… Whatever you want,” you told him, too tired to argue, and too excited to try.

[bachiras-toaster]

dazai teaches you how to suck dick : ̗̀➛

OSAMU DAZAI x f!reader

cw. nsfw virgin!reader, dick sucking, hand job, alcohol consumption

wc. 2.9k

When the two of you arrived at Dazai’s apartment to hang out after a long evening at the Agency, you had already made yourself comfortable on his couch as he placed the pizza boxes he had ordered on the coffee table in front of you.

"Nice!-" You beamed, taking a slice before your best friend even had the chance to sit down.

"Hey, don't get too comfortable there without me." The scruffy-haired man smirked slightly as he took a seat on the other end of the sofa, looking at you over the pizza; also putting a bottle of sake down. "You might want to sit closer." He teased lightly before taking a bite of his own slice.

"Alcohol? I like your way of thinking." You giggled, already having grabbed it by the handle to pour yourself a mix into the cup you had preparedly set in front of you.

Dazai laughed slightly, holding his pizza up in challenge as he watched you pour your drink from beyond his bites.

"You can't resist a drink, can you?" He hummed lightly, pouring his own glass once you had finished. "I knew you’d be all over the bottle as soon as I put it down.”

"You know me so well." You beamed brightly at him, clinking your cups together when he had finished pouring.

“Cheers." He exclaimed with a small smirk before taking a sip from his cup, watching intently as you did the same. Your willingness to drink with him had always amused him, and he couldn’t help but smirk as he felt the need to take advantage of the situation with the spark of an interesting conversation. "So to pass the time... Let's play twenty questions."

"Twenty questions? Alright." You giggled, already beginning to tap your chin thoughtfully. "Well, I've known you for quite a while, so there aren't a lot of questions I could ask, so I'm gonna try to be reall obscure about what I say..." A lightbulb seemed to flicker in your mind. "Aha! What's the worst thing you've been told off for during your school days?"

The man just chuckled lightly at your query before taking another bite of his pizza, considering the question deeply.

"Oh, well, there's been quite a few times I’ve been in trouble. Usually, it's just for something small like talking in class or not turning in an assignment on time." He grinned, taking another sip of his sake. "...But the worst thing I got into trouble for was sneaking a girl into my dorm room. The dean wasn't very happy about it."

"Seriously?!" You chuckled brightly. "Oh my god, you would do that, wouldn't you?" You asked rhetorically with an amused smile. "Okay. now your turn to ask me a question."

Dazai questioned almost immediately, like he had such a question simmering in the corner of his mind for so long.

“What's the one thing you want to do but are too afraid to try?" He asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

You giggled a little, trying to cover your laughs by sipping your drink over your own words.

"Oh, god. This is an embarrassing one..." You mumbled out, hesitant to respond- but figuring you didn’t have a lot to hide from one of your closest colleagues at the Agency. "...I guess probably giving someone a blowjob." She shrugged lightly, bringing her legs up onto the couch to cross them as she drank more.

"Wow— I really expect that from someone who's a virgin." Dazai’s eyes widen slightly in surprise before he quickly recovered and chuckled, trying to keep his expression neutral. "I'm not sure why you’d think that's embarrassing. It's just something you haven't done before." He jabbed, leaning back on the couch slightly. "Don't be afraid to try it. You never know if you'll like it until you do." He teased lightly, enjoying the playful banter between you two.

"Okay, haha, very funny." You feigned an amused expression, rolling your eyes at his virgin comment. "I get it. I'm a virgin and you're a massive playboy."

"Hey, I didn't say I was a massive playboy! I just happen to be a little popular with the ladies.” Dazai grinned, his eyes twinkling with pride. "I have more experience than you, that's all." He leaned forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

"...Have you ever gotten a blowjob?" You asked curiously, but you quickly felt like retracting your statement when you realised what kind of question you had just asked- and to your best friend too! "—Nevermind! Forget I asked that—"

"Well, it is twenty questions. If you're going to ask, you might as well know." Dazai shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. "Yeah, I have. Feels good." He smiled slightly, trying not to look too smug about it. "If you ask me, it's nothing you should be scared about trying."

"It's just scary because I'm a—... I haven’t done it before." You grumbled, hiding your lips behind your cup. "Like— I wouldn't even know what to do. And if the guy I lost my v-card to turned out to be an asshole, it'd ruin my whole experience."

“Then you'll just have to find someone who knows what they're doing, then." He winked playfully, his smirk turning slightly teasing. "Or you could always practice on something else beforehand." He casually took another sip of his drink, watching you carefully.

"Oh yeah? And who the hell would be willing to let me practise giving them a blowjob?" You scoffed at his suggestion, only for them to respond in all seriousness.

"I could always volunteer, you know. You know I'd be more than happy to help you out, even if it's just practice."

You froze for a moment, staring blankly at him. You didn't seem to believe that he was being anything but sarcastic in what he was saying, and you just let out a chuckle in order to match what you thought was his playful intention.

"You're funny."

"I try." Dazai chuckled, putting his cup down onto the coffee table to focus his entire attention on you; he couldn't help but grin. "So, are you gonna take me up on my offer or what?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Are you being serious?" You asked plainly.

"Of course I'm serious." He couldn't help but tease you a little bit, enjoying the atmosphere between you two. "You know I'd never lie to you." He added. "But then again... Maybe you're to innocent for that." He commented with a grin as he looked away for a second, knowing that it would get a rise out of you.

"I am not innocent!" You put your cup down on the table, your face flushing as you looked sort of offended at the remark.

“Oh, come on, (Y/n)." Dazai chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "You know you are. But that's what makes you so damn cute." He leaned forward, his nose scrunching with an adorable smile.

But you simply furrowed your brows, gnawing your her bottom lip as you seemed to be deep in thought at his abrupt offer.

“…You'd really help me?"

"Of course I would!" He smiled, taking your hand in his. "I'd do anything for you." He leaned back in, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "It'll be our little secret, okay? Just between us. I just know you’d be embarrassed falling into the same palm of mine that so many women have fallen into before.” He boasted, to your reluctant agreement.

"Okay..." You said, watching as he reclined comfortable against the sofa before you began inching closer towards him. "But— I don't know what I'm doing." You gulped, abruptly freezing at the realisation.

“That's what practice is for." Dazai smiled, pulling you closer to him. "Don’t worry! We’ll take it slow, and I'll teach you everything you need to know." He ran his fingers through your hair, savouring the feeling of you sat so meekly opposite him. "I'm actually glad you agreed to this. You have no idea how much I've imagined you in front of me like this."

"What—?" Your face immediately felt warm when he said that.

"Don't pretend like you didn't know." He teased, smirking at you. He leaned in close, his lips close to your ear, whispering softly. "And don't pretend that I'm the only one with such thoughts… You seriously thought I couldn’t hear you the nights you’d let me crash on your couch?”

"What are you talking about?" You asked, reluctant to crawl any further towards him.

"Oh, come on," He chuckled, his eyes sparkling with playful amusement. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." He leaned back against the sofa, patting the spot in front of him. "I've heard you… And it wasn't just the occasional moan," he whispered, his hand stroking along your jaw as he leaned in close. "I'm always getting hard listening to you. Fuckin' my own fist and pretending it's you."

"You— What?" You gulped, your face blushing profusely. You admitted, you did find him a attractive as hell, but never had you thought that he'd have such lewd thoughts about you.

"You were always whispering sexy things in your sleep, about wanting someone to fuck you hard." The man smirked, his hand running gently down your arm before lifting his thumb to trace your collarbone. "It only made me want you more… The fact that you’d be so bold to make those noises while I’m here."

He reached out to take your hand to place it on his crotch, which already seemed to have a tent formed in it due to his erection. You gulped as he forced you to feel his hard-on, and you looked up at him, sweating a little.

"You could... Hear that? I didn't realise I spoke in my sleep..."

“Well, now you know." Your friend smirked, still holding your hand firmly against his crotch. "You were really anything but quiet. But truly. Your voice was like music to my ears." Dazai whispered, holding a smug grin. "I couldn't get enough of it." He leaned in close to your ear, his breath hot against your neck. "And I still can't."

You felt like you couldn’t say anything. You just remained seated where you were, hesitant to crawl further towards him; but your hand was still confidently placed on his pants, which you could feel was growing tighter by the second.

"(Y/n)..." Dazai moaned softly, his hand moving to your thigh. "You're making this so fuckin’ hard for me..!" He chuckled gravelly. "How about this, sweet..." He purred, his fingers lacing with yours as he began to guide you to the space between his legs, his other hand moving down your thigh to tease at you. "If you like the feel of this..." He trailed off, his thumb brushing against your clothed cunt. "Maybe you could return the favor? Come on. I’ll talk you through how to suck dick well.”

After a moment, you just nodded, feeling as if you were complying completely.

“Okay… As long as you tell me what to do…” You sat on your knees between his thighs on the couch, loosening the bands of his sweatpants so you could pull it down— He had helped you with that.

“Atta girl." Dazai murmured, his voice rough with desire as he watched you undress him. He had even leaned back against the couch, giving you plenty of room to work. "Just take your time and pay attention to how I react." He purred, his hand reaching down to guide your hand to his base. "…C’mon... Touch it. Take it all in your hand. Feel how hard it is for you."

As he fished his cock out of his pants, you seemed a little intimidated by how big he was— you started to understand what women saw in him… Had this been the first time you had actually seen a dick in person? You took his length into your palms, trying to adjust yourself to the feeling before looking up at him and awaiting further command.

“Good." Dazai praised softly, his voice hoarse with need. "Now, slowly, start to stroke up and down." He instructed, watching as your hand began to move in time with his words. "Don't worry about being gentle. I like it when you're firm."

You started firmly stroking your hand up and down the length of his cock, interested in how warm he felt in your palm.

"That's it." He encouraged, his hips starting to roll slightly in time with your strokes. "You're doing great." He murmured, reaching down to run a finger lightly over your lower lip. "Tell me... do you like touching me like this?"

“It… Feels okay…” You said softly, continuing to run your hand up and down his cock.

"Just okay?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow playfully. "To me, I'd say it looks pretty fucking hot seeing you touch me like this." He leaned back against the sofa, leaving you more space to work with. “Now, I want you to use your tongue.”

“My—?” You stammered, not stopping your hand movement. “Like… What do I do? Do I just— Do I need to put it all in my mouth?”

"No, not yet." He reassured you. "Just tease me with with your tongue; run it along the underside of my cock." He watched as you complied, his member twitching slightly at your touch.

You leaned down forward a bit so you could run your tongue up the length of his dick. You seemed a little surprised with the surface of how it felt, but you let your taste travel the entire length before you got to the tip, where you swiped a lick over the slit of it.

“Fuck." He hissed, his hips jerking up slightly. "That feels so good." He groaned, his hand sliding into your hair to grip gently. "Keep going, (Y/n)." He encouraged, his voice thick with lust.

You kitten-licked his cock, your tongue licking stripes up his dick like it was some piece of candy. The view of you from above only aroused Dazai more- Which you could tell by the way he subtly attempted to lush your head down.

"Oh god—“ He groaned, unable to get the words out fast enough. "You feel fucking incredible." His hips jerked up, his cock twitching almost painfully against your mouth. "Suck on it, (Y/n), suck me off. Take the tip into your mouth first.” He demanded, his grip on your scalp tightening.

You followed his command, finding the tip of his cock and planting a soft kiss onto it before you took it into your mouth. Once the tip was settled between your wet lips, you began licking at it from the inside of your mouth.

“Oh, fuck." He shakily breathed out, his hand sliding from your hair down to your neck, gripping it lightly. "You're doing so good, baby." He praised, his voice rough with need. "Don't stop, just keep going. Take more of me down as you go.”

You nodded, holding the base of his cock with your hand as you gradually began taking more of his dick inside of your mouth as you sucked on him. Your tongue swirled from his tip down to the veins of his length, your saliva coating his cock.

"Shit." Soft groans were heard from his lips, his eyes closing as he leaned his head back against the couch cushions. His voice was thick with lewd noises, almost hoarse from the sound of it. "(Y/n)— Fuck, that feels so good." Dazai moaned, thrusting his hips forward slightly. "Don't stop, baby. Come on—" He encouraged, sliding his hand down to your cheek to rub lightly.

Your head bobbed up and down on his cock, and you quickly realised that the parts that you couldn’t reach with your tongue, you could just stroke with your palm. Your slurping became more aggressive as you found your rhythm, and the pace in which you sucked him off became more steady.

“Fu-uck—" You could vividly hear his panting, hands gripping the couch behind him. He could feel himself getting close, his hips starting to buck forward more forcefully as he gave in to the pleasure you were giving him. "Your mouth is so fucking amazing, you sure you’re not a virgin?”

You continued, feeling fuelled by his praise and wanting to suck him off more simply because of how much he seemed to enjoy it. You also seemed to get off to how much his muscles tensed at your tongue. Dazai moaned— Almost a little too needily— hips jerking up forcefully. His head was thrown back, eyes closed tight as he tried to get closer.

"Don't stop, don’t stop, don’t stop—“ He whined out. “(Y/n). I'm about to cum. Fuck. Fuck." Dazai’s breathing hitched as he watched you, his fingers tangling in your hair lightly. He could feel his climax building fast, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. "Fuck...”

You kept at the pace you were going at, but your sucking became more desperate as you wanted to know how it would feel to make a guy cum— And partially because of how nice Dazai sounded when he whimpered.

“(Y/n), open your mouth." He ordered, voice low and demanding. He knew he couldn't hold out much longer, and he didn't want to cum in your mouth without permission.

Though thankfully, he didn’t have to. You did as you were told quite obediently, and immediately opened your mouth wide to him, your tongue laid flatly as you let him in. Dazai looked down at your opened mouth, eyes dark with lust. He could feel his climax rushing up fast, his cock throbbing against your soft inside.

"Swallow, (Y/n)." He warned.

As his reddened tip spurt his seed into your wet mouth, you didn’t even need to be told twice before you swallowed it almost immediately without a second thought. Your face seemed to contort a little as you hadn’t expect the cum to taste so salty, nor did you expect it to have such an odd consistency, but you swallowed nevertheless.

Dazai let out a shaky breath, his hips jerking back against the couch.

“Fuck." He panted, unable to believe how good that felt. He looked down, eyes soft and smouldering. "I really shouldn't have let you do that." He sighed as he felt your warmth envelop his cock, swallowing him down. He groaned deeply, his body shuddering from the intense release. "Shit, (Y/n)..."

“Why not…?” You queried innocently, swiping off the cum that dropped from the corner of your lips to swallow in your mouth.

"Because now I want more." He had confessed, running his fingers through her your gently. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. "And I know you're not ready for what I really want." He whispered, his voice low and rough.

[under-the-stars-au]

How are you feeling now, Bon?

Yeah don't worry, they're fine now, when your tummy is full you can't be mad, that's just science fact

________________

Okay ! Lots of stuff to say here ! There were some details I wasn't sure of about the lore of this mixed UT/ISAT universe, but recently I made myself a little memo of everything and I'm more sure of my stuff. So I made it clear in this one : Chara is here ! And they are here to help....maybe.

Siffrin thoughts and Chara's narration are kinda here at the same time...which must be super confusing to live honestly, but you can still see the difference. I will not develop here why Chara is with Siffrin instead of Frisk, but if you want a small explanation, their wishes mixed together

I personally think that there's a lot of ISAT stuff in this AU and not enough UT, so the next one (the one I really wanted to make for a while) will be more about UT, and it will be out...tomorrow ! Yep, I already started it before I decided to make that one first, so you'll have another answer really soon, whoo oh !

I hope you like this one for now though ! See you soon !

(Also did you notice the new brush I used this time ? I love it honestly, it looks super cool, I think I'll keep it)

_________________

DIALOGUES IN CASE YOU CAN'T READ MY HANDWRITING

1 :

Bonnie : Mh.........

2 :

Odile : Bonniface, I get that you are upset, but can you please be faster ? Even I don't walk that slow

Bonnie : I'm as fast as I can 'dile !...

3 :

Isabeau : Hey, Sif ? Sorry to bother ya but, huh... Could you talk to Bonbon ? I think they might need it...

Siffrin : Huh ? Why ? I'm not really the feelings person of the group

4 :

Isabeau : Listen buddy, I... I don't think I'm the good person to tell you about it. Just...talk to them, okay ? They'll tell you...eventually

Siffrin : Huh... Okay ? I'll go do that...

5 :

Mirabelle : Huh ? Why did we stop ? Siffrin ?

6 :

Siffrin : Heya Bonnie

Bonnie : ...Siffrin. What d'you want ?

7 :

Chara (internally): Oof, wow, such a sweet kid. They even "Siffried" you

Siffrin : It seems that you're still angry since you flee earlier, and that it's...kinda my fault ? I'm not sure to really understand, but huh, I'm sorry, for whatever happened. I didn't wanted to upset you.

8 :

Bonnie : Huh uh. Yeah, sure. I forgive you

Siffrin (internally) : It doesn't sound like they do though...

9 :

Chara (internally) : Stars, that kid sure is difficult ! Just continue okay, they are not worth it

Siffrin : ...

10 :

Siffrin : Hey Bonnie ?

Bonnie : Hum ?

Siffrin (internally) : No, no don't say that. They'll ALWAYS be worth it

11 :

Siffrin : What if I tell you that I still have a piece of Toriel's pie in my secret pockets. What d'you say ?

Siffrin (internally) : In every loop, every fun changes, you party will always be more important. If you have to proceed, it will be with them

12 :

Bonnie : ...Well. First, I say that it sounds super gross to keep pie in your pockets just like that

13 :

Bonnie : ...And then I say that I want it

14 :

Siffrin : There you go !

Bonnie : Thanks...

15 :

Siffrin (internally) : ...You know, it's nice to have new interactions with them. They almost became actual persons again, you even remember their names !

16 :

Bonnie : What ? WHAT ?! Why are you laughing ?! You makin' fun of me ?!!

17 :

Siffrin : No no, just thought you look like a bunny when you eat, a "Bonny" hehe. That's cute

Bonnie : GAASP. So you are makin' fun of me !

18 :

Bonnie : But huh, actually, I'm not mad at you somehow, guess it's because of the pie

Siffrin : Oh ? Really ?

Bonnie : Yeah, it's just that good

Siffrin : Huh, good to know

19 :

Bonnie : Yeah yeah, just go back to your place now. And stop being an idiot !

Siffrin (internally) : I guess they are okay now ?

Siffrin : Haha, okay okay

[adrienneleclerc]

We’re on a world tour (like beyonces renaissance tour) and it’s opening night in London. Charles being with Arthur Pierre and kika and their reaction + them being in the pit. Also, Charles and our oldest daughter coming out to dance on stage like how blue Ivy did with bey. And the grids’ reactions + other celebrities being there for opening night!!!😅❤️

What happened to “hello”? “How are you?” “My name is”? I’m kidding. ANYWAY, sorry it took me so long so I really hope you liked it and I am so sorry if you didn’t. Since you said “oldest daughter”, Charles and Y/N have 3 kids.

World Tour

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Singer! Reader

Summary: Y/N starts her world tour in London and kicks off the tour with a huge surprise

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors

A/N: mix of social media and written fic, because of the ages of the kids, we could make it so charles and Y/N got married at 18 and started their family at 19 so charles is still 26, OR married at 21, family at 22 so he’s 29, completely up to you. So this could take place in 2027 or 2024, it doesn’t matter. Also, her performance photos/video outfits are not consistent, sadly.

Y/N was backstage doing her makeup when her daughter, Juliana, who everyone calls ‘Jules’, walks in with a hairbrush in her hand

“Mami, Can you brush my hair?” Jules asked. Y/N turned to her and smiled.

“Sure, baby. How many knots are in your hair?” Y/N asked, taking the brush from Juliana’s hand

“A lot, I can’t get them out.” Jules said. Y/N got a detangling spray from her vanity to spray in her daughter’s hair.

“It should be easier to get it out now. You excited to dance with me, princesa?” Y/N asked.

“I’m nervous. What if I mess up the routine to ‘Arranca’ and I get booed?” Jules asked. Y/N spun her around so they were facing each other.

“Mi amor, you won’t get booed. Besides, you are 7 years old, no one expects you to be perfect. And guess what, you are still going to sing a song with me.” Y/N said.

“Can we sing ‘como la flor’, mami?” Jules asked and Y/N smiled.

“Any song you want, baby.” Y/N said and kissed her forehead.

Charles was sitting with his 4 year old son, Santiago, who’s nickname is “Santi”, his brother Arthur, Pierre, and Kika.

“Where’s sissy?” Santi asked.

“She’s with your maman, mon coeur.” Charles replied.

“I can’t believe you brought him to the concert, Charles.” Arthur said.

“It would be unfair to leave him in the hotel room with Dot’s (Dorothea) nanny while Jules gets to be here with us.” Charles said.

“I think it’s cute that Charles brought Santi.” Kika said. “How old is Dot now by the way?”

“She is 8 months old now.” Charles said and Kika cooed.

“You took him to the bathroom, right?” Pierre asked,

“Of course I did, I’m not an idiot, mate.” Charles said.

“Why is Jules with Y/N?” Arthur asked.

“I Don’t know, Jules asked if she could go backstage with Y/N and Y/N said she was okay with it.” Charles said.

“Yeah, she had the right idea, do you see how packed it is?” Kika asked. Charles stood up, holding Santi’s hand the entire time.

“Yeah, my Y/N has a lot of fans from all over the world.” Charles commented the lights turned off and the crowd started screaming, Charles saw Santi put his hands over his ears so he got out Santi’s headphones from his backpack and put them on him, carrying him so he will be able to see his mom.

Y/N came out on stage with her first performance outfit.

“Ah, she looks so good!” Kika fangirled.

“Yeah, she does.” Charles smiled fondly.

“How we doing tonight, London?” Y/N asked the crowd and they cheered. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m starting my world tour here. It seems insane to me but it’s also the same weekend as the British Grand Prix so of course it makes sense to start here.” The crowd cheered, clearly having an overlap of F1 fans and Y/N fans. “If you have been a fan of mine for years and have been to my concerts before, hi, it’s so nice to have you come back. If you’re a long term fan but haven’t been to my concert, I am so glad that you are finally able to come. Lastly, if you’re a new fan or your sibling, bestie, partner, child, or even parent dragged you here tonight, welcome! You are going to have a fun time, I promise.” Y/N said and the soundboard person started the instrumental track of her song ‘Fulanito’

“If y’all know this song, sing along, mis amores!” Y/N said. “Que manera, como él consigue de mí lo que quería, quedé partía desde la primera, haciendo lo que no hace cualquiera, y no sale tan bien…” Y/N started singing. Her backup dancers joined her on stage for the performance and they finished that song. There was a ton of applause. “All right, before we start this next song, I’m pretty sure everyone knows I’m married.” Y/N said, putting her hand up to show off the ring Charles bought her once he started making good money in Formula 1 and the crowd cheered. “We have a little family, 3 children to be exact, and my daughter’s dream is to be a performer like me. So everyone clap your hands together for my daughter, Juliana!”

“Sissy!” Santi said, perking his head up.

“Yeah, It’s You’re sister, Santi.” Charles said, they all clapped and Charles saw Jules walk on stage and hugged her mom before standing next to one of the dancers before the music of ‘Arranca’ started playing, Jules was following the dance exactly and she looked like she was having a great time. Charles took out his phone to record his little girl dancing with his wife, when the song ended, Jules hugged Y/N and Y/N squatted down to give Jules’s a kiss on her forehead.

“Give it up for my daughter, everyone! Before my baby goes, she wanted to sing a song with me so I gotta do it.” Y/N sat down on the edge of the stage, Jules following her and the soundboard guy started playing the music of “como la flor” by Selena Quintanilla. Charles took photos of that too.

The concert ended an hour and a half later.

“Hey guys, thank you for coming with me.” Charles told Pierre and Kika, carrying Santi who is sleeping.

“No problem, we had a fun time.” Pierre said.

“Yes! Please ask Y/N if she’ll let me borrow the outfit she wore when she sung Sin Pijama, it’s so cute.” Kika said. Charles laughed.

“Sure Kika, I’ll ask her.” Charles said. Pierre and Kika left and Charles walked with Arthur backstage. When they entered, they saw Jules practicing her dance.

“Papi!” Jules said, hugging Charles. “Did you like my dance? I practiced with Daniela (dancer).”

“You were amazing, sweetie, but call me papa.” Charles said. Jules let go,

“I like papi better.” Jules said before hugging Arthur. “Tio, you liked how I sung?”

“You did really well, and it’s oncle.” Arthur said.

“Fine, oncle.” Jules said and she sat down on the couch. Y/N came out in short and a hoodie.

“Muñeco, Arturito, is Santi sleeping?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah, He’s a little tired, but he was dancing to most of your set, you were amazing out there, Mon coeur.” Charles said, kissing her.

“Yes, you were great, didn’t know you were such a great dancer.” Arthur said.

“Yeah, i took classes when I was younger. Let’s go back to the hotel so we could Santi in bed.” Y/N said, rubbing Santi’s back.

“Yeah, Let’s go.” Charles said.

They go to their hotel, Arthur goes to a different room, charles Charles enters their shared hotel room to get Santi ready for bed while Y/N went to the nanny’s hotel room to get Dot. When Y/N enters their hotel room, Jules and Santi are in their pajamas, he’s sleeping and she’s brushing her teeth.

“Mami, Can we go to iHop tomorrow?” Jules asked.

“Do we have time for breakfast before going to your race?” Y/N asked Charles while putting Dot in her portable crib.

“Yeah we have time, we justa have to wake up early.” Charles said.

“I’m okay with that.” Jules said, she got into bed and fell asleep.

“Thank you for coming to my concert tonight.” Y/N said.

“Yeah, Pierre and Kika loved it, she loved your last outfit by the way, she wants to borrow it by the way.” Charles said, changing into his pajamas

“Yeah, she can borrow it after the tour.” Y/N said

“I am so proud of you, you know. We’re both in a really good place in our careers” Charles said.

“Thank you, i love you.” Y/N said.

“I love you too.” Charles said, kissing Y/N.

liked by tomholland2013 and others

charles_leclerc My princess and my queen singing and dancing together, what more could mask for? The Y/N Leclerc concert was a blast, Santi enjoyed it, my brother enjoyed it, what a great way to have fun before the Grand Prix

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y/n_leclerc love you, muñeco! Glad you had a good time

valeinallcaps yes! F1 driver supporter his Latina Queen, love to see it

maxverstappen1 Kelly and P loved her too! P won’t stop singing “Shower” on the way back from the concert

georgerussell63 Carmen had to tell me what the lyrics meant and I think she sang “MAMIII” a little too hard

danielricciardo she had me dancing in the mirror and singing in the shower this morning, best concert ever!

pierregasly Kika has her tickets for the Paris show, she’s obsessed.

oscarpiastri Lily really wanted to go but it was sold out 😢

charles_leclerc im sure Y/N will have another show in London soon

User32 NO WAY!!! I was there too!

User12 him going to her concert is iconic

User28 the grid going to her concert is iconic

liked by zendaya and others

y/n_leclerc Thank you so much London, you guys were absolutely amazing, thank you for making Jules’s first performance special. Next stop is Dublin!

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sabrinacarpenter loved your performance outfits, they’re so you! We need to collab!

selenagomez never been happier to be in London than last night!

mileycyrus you have such an amazing stage presence

dualipa whenever you’re in LA…

joejonas 100/10 concert right there!

reneerapp that’s mother right there

sukiwaterhouse it was such a great show, loved that you brought your daughter out

liked by y/n_leclerc and others

francisca.cgomes she is an iconic, a legend, and she is the moment. But bestie, where did you get that outfit?!?

view all comments

y/n_leclerc its custom made, babe, you could borrow it after the tour!

User31 she’s so real for that

The End

I really hope y’all liked it!

[riordanness]

pick up lines - [p.jackson]

pairing: percy jackson x reader

wordcount: 1.4K

warnings: none

I hated waking up.

Not that sleeping was particularly amazing, being a demigod and all, but waking up really sucked. I'd been resting peacefully (not), when I was rudely shaken from my sleep by the breakfast bell.

Unfortunately, I had never been an early riser, so most mornings, there was a mad rush, involving a lot of mess, losing everything I needed, and desperately trying, (and failing) to clean up my cabin before inspection, which was right after breakfast.

I was generally the one who had the messiest cabin during inspection.

I finally was dressed in jeans and an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt, with my h/c hair pulled away from my face. Then, I ran to the dining pavilion.

I was a daughter of Demeter, the plant goddess. Yeah, I'm sure most of you are thinking: Oh, wow, plants... But seriously, it's kinda cool. I do have some pretty sweet powers. I can grow any plants from practically nothing, control plants and stuff, and sense things in the earth. I can even use plants to travel instantly from one place to another, by just hopping through the trees, or seeds, or flowers, or weeds, or . . . whatever.

I slipped into my seat next to Katie Gardner, my elder sister. She was the counsellor for Cabin Demeter. Katie was super nice, but she was always busy at the moment, mostly hanging out with her new boyfriend, Travis Stoll, Son of Hermes.

"You slept in again," Katie whispered to me, trying, and failing epically, to hide her laughter. "We thought it was best not to try and wake you."

That was probably smart. If someone woke me up, they'd most likely leave that situation with a black eye and seeds growing in their skin. I can be fairly lethal when I want to be.

"I stated up too late again last night," I said back, my voice also low. I didn't like when other kids were listening in on my conversations, especially those Hermes kids.

"Doing what?" Katie smirked, like she knew something I didn't.

"Um..." What was I doing? Hanging out with my best friend of course. Who also happened to be the cutest and most popular guy at camp. The only current Son of Posiedon. Percy Jackson.

"I was with Percy, at the beach. We were finding lost starfish and chucking them back in the water..." My voice faltered. I wasn't good at lying. 'At the beach' was accurate. We'd been laying on a picnic blanket, watching the stars, and just talking about everything and anything, for hours. We did that almost every night. It was the best feeling in the world, just being with him.

"Uh huh." Katie turned back to her food. "He likes you, y/n, I'm sure of it. Just as much as you like him, I bet."

"Katie!" I hissed, my face beet red, but the words pleased me. I'd had a crush on Percy Jackson since the first day he arrived at Camp Half-Blood, tired and bruised and scratched from fighting the Minotaur. He'd limped into camp, stole my heart, and became the coolest guy at camp within a month.

And yes, I was in love with him. We'd been best friends for years, and we hung out all the time. How could I possibly not fall for him, with his stupid trouble-maker grin, his dark, messy hair, his sparkling sea-green baby-seal eyes, and his voice. He was, at least in my eyes, perfect.

***

Later, I was practicing my sword-fighting in the arena, hacking arms and legs and heads off the stuffed straw dummies. I'd never been the best fighter, but I felt like I was getting the hang of my sword.

"Are you a child of Hermes?" a joking voice rang out from behind me. I spun around, and came face to face with one of the Hephestus kids. Leo Valdez, maybe?

I blew my hair out of my face, breathing hard. "Um, no? Demeter, actually. Why?"

The boy, Leo, cracked a grin. "Because you stole my heart."

I blinked, not sure what to say. I never really spoke to any of the kids from Hephestus cabin, especially not this one.

"Uh, okay... thanks, I guess?"

Leo grinned again, then ran off without saying anything else. Okay... that was pretty weird.

I decided to go for a walk, to cool down and to stretch my legs a bit, so I headed for the basketball courts, where a bunch of kids were playing a really aggressive game.

I plopped down on the grass a few meters back from the courts, and watched the game. It looked like Ares and Apollo (a strange match), against Athena, Dionysus, and a couple other kids, like Jason Grace, Nico Di Angelo, and Percy.

I found myself watching Percy more than the other players, but snapped my eyes away from him once I realised. I didn't want anyone seeing me staring at my best friend.

After a while, the players called for a break, and Jason Grace approached me. "Oh, hey (Y/N)," he smiled at me, sitting beside me and taking a swig of water from a drink bottle.

"Hey," I said back. Again, I was surprised at why Jason was talking to me. He didn't usually. Demeter kids were looked over quite a bit, and Jason was one of the big shots - a child of Zeus. Of course, Percy was a son of Posiedon, and he talked to me, but that was different. I'd known Percy for years, even before we came here at twelve years old. I'd know him since he was seven.

"Are you a child of Hades?" Jason asked suddenly.

I frowned at him. "No. Demeter, actually. Why does everyone keep-?"

I was cut off by Jason grinning and saying: "Because I'm dying to call you mine."

I swallowed. "Um..."

Jason got up and walked away, heading back to his game. I was totally confused, so I stood up, brushed off my jean shorts, and decided to go to the strawberry fields, where I usually spent most of my time, among the plants. Plants always calmed me down, and this random guys telling me pick-up lines were a little stressful. I wasn't the kind of girl who normally got guys, anyway.

After a few minutes of walking up and down the strawberry aisles, I ran into Nico di Angelo. Nico wasn't usually the sort of person you ran into in the strawberry fields, so I was surprised.

"Oh, hi, Nico," I said cheerily, waving at him. Nico and I were actually pretty good friends, so I was glad to see him. We got along surprisingly well, considering our parents' rivalry. You know, the whole Persephone getting kidnapped thing.

"Are you a child of Hephestus?" Nico stammered, blushing with embarrassment.

At this point, I was utterly confused.

"No!" I said, frowning. "I'm a daughter of Demeter, and I know you know that, Nico. And why does everyone keep trying these stupid pick-up lines on me? Besides... you like guys, don't you?"

"Well, um..." Nico shrugged and ran off, leaving me in a state of helpless confusion.

I sank to my knees in the soft grass, picking at it with my fingers. "What's happening with me today?" I wondered aloud.

"Hey, are you Aphrodite?" a familiar voice asked. "Because you're divinely gorgeous."

I glanced up, meeting the sea-green eyes of my best friend. "Percy?" I asked. "You too? What's-?"

Percy stopped me, sitting down cross-legged beside me. "Hey, I've- I've liked you for ages, but I never told you because I was scared you'd not feel the same and so we'd lose our awesome friendship, but the guys found out and so they were trying to make me jealous enough to admit me feelings today, by trying out pick-up lines on you, so, well, I- I decided that I should just tell you.”

I sucked in a breath. "Oh my gods," I managed. "You stupid son of Posiedon."

"What?" Percy chuckled nervously.

"Are you a child of the Sea God?" I asked softly. "Because I'm drowning in your beautiful eyes."

Gathering all my courage, I leaned forward and pressed my mouth against Percy's, feeling him smile against my lips, and I couldn't have wished for anything more.

[ladyloveandjustice]

I know most of the fandom is into Matoba bc he is the bishonen edgelord who swoops around being vaguely threatening and can also have toxic yaoi with Natori. I get it and if he was a girl maaaybe it would work on me? unfortunately i am a lesbian who's not into that so he's just a weirdo who won't stop harrassing a 15-16 year old boy to me. (jk he is a good character i don't like him but when he's involved it's usually interesting)

but he's also like. so incompetent at his goal of recruiting Natsume it's hilarious

Natsume is pretty easy to win over. Natori was shady as hell to him in their first couple meetings and Natsume was still willing to be friends. If you're nice to him, he'll just immediately be like "oh you're good I like you ride or die". It also takes a lot for Natsume to actively dislike you! It would probably be pretty easy to get him at least on good terms if you wanted to manipulate him....if you have even an ounce of chill and subtlety.

(Actually manipulating him would be a lot harder, because Natsume's better at reading people than he gives himself credit for and is very principled and strict about the lines he won't cross. But working up to it and making him sympathize with you would be pretty easy)

But no. Matoba's like. Hmm. I'll try kidnapping him let's see if that works. ok well what if I shoot his cat yokai that he seems to consider family with an arrow for no real reason, poisoning that kitty so he's sick for several days. I'm sure this will make him receptive. Wow he's still not over that, he doesn't like me? kid really holds a grudge.

Okay I'm really going to try hard now how and reveal i've been invading his privacy by extensively researching his childhood history and I'm not going to list his traumas out and tell him his family might not want him if they knew the truth. oh he actually got up and tried to leave maybe that was a little over the top?

Maybe if I act like a creep and whisper in his ear. ok no he doesn't like that.

okay well what if I try to hurt his cat again and try to convince him his cat doesn't love him! man why is he still trying to protect the cat didn't he hear me???

okay just throw him in a jail cell I guess. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do at this point.

oh I have a good idea this time. I'm going to blackmail him. Just straight up threaten to out him to his family. Tell him I'm going to let his family know all the terrible things he's been through and that they can't stop these bad things from happening to him. cool yeah now he has to come along with me. But for some reason he still says he doesn't want to join my emo clan...but why???

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – Quiz Night

Description: When Swerve is exploring Earth in his holoform, he finds a movie quiz where he meets you and quickly falls in love. Set in a Transformers Prime AU wherein Swerve went to Earth with the Autobots. LIGHT SMUT BELOW THE CUT.

A/N – Okay, so every fortnight, I go to my local cinema’s movie quiz and I’ve had this scenario in my head since I started going to that. I just wanted to write this for me to try and get back into writing on my days off from teaching.

Also, there is a Steve who wins every week. I am determined to beat him just once.

Warnings – MILD SMUT / NSFW.

Rating – M

Swerve looked around the small café, wringing his hands anxiously. He felt all too aware of his holoform, sure that any minute now, every human in the room would see him for what he really was and that his life would turn into a B-Movie wherein the FBI and CIA would chase him down, shooting everything they could at him until he was captured and tortured for information. And why not?

Something similar had happened to Bumblebee before he met Charlie. Why not Swerve too? Then again, the Autobots had a base on Earth now, and Swerve was confident in the use of his holoform… though this was the first time he’d tried it outside his hab-suite in the base.

Then there was the other thing. If Optimus knew that Swerve was wasting precious energon to maintain his holoform all because he just had to get out and see some humans up close- Well, sufficed to say, the big guy would be pissed.

But it was just one night. Surely, Swerve could justify that. Even Cinderella got one night out. Alright. For tonight he would be Cinder-Fella. Or at least he would be if he could find somewhere to sit.

Honestly, when Swerve jumped into the little cinema on the promenade, he hadn’t expected much, he’d just wanted to see it. Then, he headed upstairs and saw that they were setting up a movie quiz, and he just couldn’t resist entering. It was only a dollar to enter and he’d found the occasional bit of cash on the street, so why the hell not?

Yet, as Swerve looked around the café on the second floor, he realised that he was not a part of this community. There were several friend groups, most of who seemed to be regulars and who were riling up the other teams obviously used to the atmosphere, and there were no empty tables, just a few spare seats.

Gathering up his courage, Swerve loped towards your table, seeing that you were the only person on it.

“Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here? I sorta came here on impulse and well- Y’know,” He gestured around at the lack of available tables.

“Oh, sure,” You said agreeably, putting your phone down. “I’m (Y/N).”

“Swerve,” He introduced himself, feeling less shy at your friendly demeanour.

“Huh, unusual name,” You commented, not unfriendly in tone.

“Oh, y-yeah. Unconventional parents.”

“So, no team, Swerve?” You asked, changing the subject to make him more comfortable.

“No, uh, first time. I didn’t even know there was a quiz till I got here. How about you?”

“I had a teammate but she just texted that she can’t make it. So, I guess I’m on my own tonight unless you wanna team up.”

Swerve stared blankly at you. He couldn’t believe that you were being so nice. Then again, you barely knew him. He was certain once you got to know him, you would find him as annoying as the other Autobots did.

Seeing his hesitation, you held up your hand kin a Scout’s promise, “I promise to share any prizes we win.”

Swerve felt his human obsession taking hold and his energon pump thrummed excitedly, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

When the quiz started, you thought you were good at movie trivia, but Swerve shot you out the water. He was even better than the quiz champion Steve, who generally won every week. The only thing Swerve seemed to struggle with was the years movies came out, though that was because Cybertronians measured time differently, and you did well enough at those, getting most right.

“Wow,” You chuckled at the first break between rounds. “You’re insanely good at this. You’re even beating Steve.”

“Steve?” Swerve asked, worried that he was someone you were interested in, even though he had no reasonable claim to be jealous.

“Yeah, he’s the old guy by the counter. He wins a lot, but he’s a good guy. Always shares his prizes. I think he’s just in it for the social aspect, y’know? A lot of people here are. It’s a nice little community. Plus, this is the only thing we have against the big cinema… There’s no heart in that place.”

“No kidding,” Swerve hummed, fascinated by you and your energy. “So, (Y/N), tell me about yourself.”

You smiled, thinking about how comfortable you felt around Swerve. He seemed like a nice guy. You filled him in on a few details of your day-to-day life. In return, he responded with a few facts about himself, though he was sometimes vague, unable to tell you the truth behind his Cybertronian life.

He told you that he was a scientist in a government base; this wasn’t a massive stretch from the truth since he was a metallurgist, using his skills to help the Autobots against the Decepticons, though he stayed far from any battles, generally being a house-mouse.

You were impressed with his work, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the high-status job. Then, the next round of the quiz began and the two of you were back on the same wavelength as teammates.

The quiz questions were set in a bingo card formation, giving everyone a fair shot at winning, so despite Swerve’s movie prowess the two of you didn’t win anything until the third round, wherein you were awarded two cinema tickets, free to use for any film.

At the end of the night, standing outside the cinema, you held the tickets out to Swerve, “Here, you can take these. You answered all the hard questions.”

“No, no. I can’t take them. I mean, it was your table and you helped a lot, and you come here all the time and I’m just-” Swerve began nervously babbling and you grinned, finding him cute.

You grabbed his hand, handing him one of the tickets, “Alright, fifty-fifty split. But hey, if you’re not doing anything next week, I was gonna come and see the seven O’clock showing of the new fantasy flick. You could join me for that if you wanted.”

Swerve nodded dumbly, thinking how warm your hands felt atop his.

“Great, it’s a date. See you then.”

You walked away with a bounce in your step. Meanwhile, Swerve stayed there, unable to move while he wondered whether you meant a date as in a real, romantic date or whether it was just a turn of phrase. Either way, for the rest of the week, he was quiet and distracted, unable to get you out of his processor.

When Swerve next snuck away from the base, using his holoform once again to meet you he fell in love. This was not the first time he had fallen in love, since he formed attachments quickly, but it was the hardest he had ever fallen, fascinated as he was by your world and species.

The two of you sat down to the film, and Swerve felt his brain freeze when you rested your head on his shoulder halfway through the film, grabbing his hand and entwining your fingers with his. It took him a few seconds before he stiffly let his cheek rest against your hair which was so, so soft.

“I had a really good time with you tonight,” You said quietly as the two of you filed out into the cool night air.

“Me too,” Swerve replied almost giddily as he drank in the sight of you.

You pulled a slip of paper from your pocket, offering it to Swerve, “Here, call me.”

Swerve unfolded the paper, finding your number with a little heart doodled next to it. He flushed red, becoming even more flustered when you pecked his cheek, lingering for a second before you said goodnight and left him there again.   From there, you and Swerve went on several more dates, though he always avoided dinner dates, being unable to eat, and then things between the two of you got serious.

Swerve knew this was wrong. When you’d asked him back to your place, he should have said no. He should have never started any kind of relationship with you in the first place, but now things were getting serious and beneath all the excitement, he was ashamed of himself. What would you do if you knew who he really was? What he really was? Yet that didn’t stop him from sloppily kissing you, listening to you gasp when his erection pressed against your thigh. He was addicted to you and he was being selfish. Worse, as the intimacy built and you gave yourself to him completely, Swerve couldn’t stop himself from saying, “I love you,” repeating the phrase as he kissed your neck, and again when your body was pressed against his, and again as the two of you cuddled afterwards. He held your body against him during the night, stroking your exposed skin while you slept. He loved you. He loved the idea of a relationship with you. He loved that you had said the words back to him that very night. But ultimately, love wasn’t enough. Yes, he loved you in a million ways, but he couldn’t trust you. He wanted so badly to, but after he had betrayed your trust so thoughtlessly, he was too scared that if you found out what he was all of your love for him would evaporate. In the twilight hours, nearing early morning, Swerve received a communication from Prime, demanding his presence back at the base. Swerve sighed. First and foremost, all Cybertronians had a duty to their faction, and though Swerve wanted to put you first, he had to go back. If he stayed out any longer, he would have to explain his many long absences. He was a scientist and his duty was to the Autobots. He kissed the back of your shoulder, took a minute to find a paper and a pen, then left a note on his pillow stating that he wished he could stay but an emergency at work had come up. Then, glancing longingly at you before leaving, Swerve felt one last flush of shame and disgust at himself. No matter how much he loved you, he was using you to make himself feel better, and he knew he wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t.

[moonydustx]

So I have this thing...

I need more Law x Reader fics pleeeaassee (；ＴДＴ)

Anyway...

May I ask a reader (up to you what gender) reacting to law proposing to her? Which I doubt canon law would even do but I guess since it's fanfiction, who cares if it's Canon, right???

OMG, this is incredible, hold my hand and I'm with you on this, thank you so much for the request. In my HCs on the Law (I will still post them) I think if it was important for him to do it without even blinking. Surely it would be something more discreet, a small ceremony between just two? I don't know, I might be rambling too much.

Apologies because I didn't have much time to review and maybe I got carried away writing it. I hope you enjoy!

Important: italics are for flashbacks and character readings aloud.

The proposal - favorite moment (part 01)

Part 02 - Part 03

Law counted the minutes until night arrived, it was one of his favorite moments. That was when you would sneak around the submarine and end up knocking on the door on it. In most of these situations, you didn't get out anytime soon. He's not much of a follower on the calendar, celebrating each month together - and come to think of it, everything happened so naturally that it was decided on which day it started to be difficult for you to be a boyfriend.

Like so many other nights, you found yourself doing what was one of the only things Law could name as a hobby. You were nestled between his legs, your body resting on his chest as you attentively read another book. He found himself leaning against the wall, one of his hands resting on his body while with the other he tried to leaf through one of the new editions of Sora comics that he had picked up on the last island he visited.

He had already lost count of how many times the two of you had wasted hours tangled up in his bed reading and something else he was used to hearing you sniffle at something, like you were doing this time. His eyes looked away from the painting and went straight to where you were reading, just out of curiosity. The other times you were sniffling, he had found you reading about some character who died, some reunion, some couple who got together. This time, from what he could see, it was a marriage proposal.

He already knew it was an important topic for you. He also knew that if he had to choose to spend his entire life with someone, it would be you. Law had thought about the hypothesis a few times and when reading the small excerpt from the book, he let himself think about the idea.

"Wow." your feet were planted in front of an immense showcase. Dresses were stacked side by side in various sizes and textures, some with huge trains and others full of silk.

"Don't tell me you're one of those marriage freaks." Ikkaku planted himself next to you, next to Bepo.

"They are beautiful." the bear confirmed, touching the glass.

"Not freak…" you tried to find the words, you really didn't want to sound like a crazy person. "I mean, marriages are two people coming out in love to the world, to the government, to whatever god they may believe in or to no god at all, as if nothing could intervene or separate them."

"Okay, insane then." Shachi appeared behind you, mumbling.

"Actually, that's a nice way of thinking." Ikkaku replied to him, watching you just shrug. "And I won't deny it, they are beautiful dresses."

"Time to go." The captain's voice echoed closer than you imagined, as if he had been there the whole time listening.

Seeing the crew members move forward, agreeing to the captain's request, Law took a few seconds to evaluate the display that had distracted everyone. He could just be daydreaming, but one day you would look incredible wearing a dress like that along with the new name you would carry. Ms. Trafalgar.

From that day on, the idea of ​​proposing to you never left his mind, Law just needed to find the perfect opportunity and it appeared before his eyes.

"Okay…" your choked voice took him out of his reverie. "That's enough tears for today and I'm getting sleepy." you closed the book, turning towards him and snuggling even closer against Law's body.

"Do you mind if I keep reading some more?" he asked and you just mumbled no. His hand got tangled in your strands of hair and it didn't take long for unconsciousness to take you away.

Law gave himself a week to put the plan into practice. The small room at Polar Tang was tidier than usual however you could notice Law more tense than usual behind his back.

"Everything is fine?" you asked, quickly turning to face him. Law seemed distracted from the book in his hands.

"Everything amazing." his lips quickly touched the top of your head. It was now. All the other battles he had faced had not even come close to the anxiety he felt at that moment. "That book you were reading last week?"

"Ah, it's this one. I'm almost done. It's a period romance, princess, knight and all the little things that involves." you laughed, knowing that from your description he would hate the book. "There's no point trying to convince me to read Sora, this one is much cooler."

"So cool you were crying the last time you read it." he said in a teasing tone.

In a casually planned way, even if it went unnoticed in your eyes, he placed the comic he was reading on the bed.

"It's because he was so sweet to her, made an amazing statement."

"Really? Let me see." He moved even closer to your back, looking for space on your shoulder to follow the written words and find the perfect cue.

"Here. Can I read it?"

"Please." he asked, feeling his hands sweat cold.

"Of all the countries I've visited, I don't think I've ever found a home except in you. You've been my home, my safe haven." You started reading, already feeling yourself melting with those words. At the same time, Law took out a small box hidden behind one of the pillows. "So let me be the sword that protects you, the heart that loves you infinitely. I thought happiness would only find me in the next life until I found myself lost in you. What do you mean by that, my love? So, the The knight fell to his knees, the wounds of the battle he faced seemed not to bother him, not when Annya's eyes rested on him. Annya then heard the four words that carried a lifetime of promises…"

"Would you marry me?" Law's voice echoed alongside yours.

Before you could ask what he thought, a small black box appeared in your field of vision. Inside it, a golden ring with a small heart symbol glittered. The book fell from your hands, finding your lap, as you turned to your boyfriend.

"Law?" at that moment, your voice was not the most reliable. As shaky as she was, your vision was blurred by what you suspected were tears. Your hands covered your lips, still not believing what you were seeing.

"Maybe my sword heals you more than defends you, but that doesn't mean I'll let anyone hurt you in this world. You're my home, my safe haven and I can't wait for you to be my wife. I'd even kneel, but It's a little complicated." he smiled, seeing you still paralyzed on top of him. "So, would you marry me?"

"Yes." the first time came out as a whisper. "Yes Yes Yes!" with each new time the word left your lips, you allowed euphoria to take over your body.

Law took your hand, placing a small kiss before putting on the ring and repeating the gesture, as soon as the jewel was in the place where it belonged. His hands pulled you so your legs were around his waist.

"That's…" you even tried to speak, but it was impossible to put everything you felt at the moment into so few words. You saw him pull out a ring that was the same color as yours, without all the details. "Let me do it."

Before he could put it on his own finger, you took it from his hand and repeated the same thing he had done to you. He placed a small kiss between the tattooed fingers and let the jewelry take its rightful place.

"I don't believe." You looked at your hand and then at him. "Law, that was so amazing."

"You're incredible. I can't wait to see you become Mrs. Trafalgar. My beautiful, smart, a little crybaby…" he wiped away your tears, bringing a laugh from your lips. "My dear wife."

"I love you so much." you cupped his face, taking his lips to yours.

Even though it was full of emotions and promises, it was a calm kiss. Law, like you, wanted to record every second of that moment, every inch of skin kissed, every touch.

In the end, Law was also a marriage nut - just with his dear Lady Trafalgar.

----

Little extra:

Law was never a big fan of public displays of affection, but that morning he had made an exception. Seeing you happy, showing off your new ring and the promise of marriage, ideas of what to do on the date, honeymoon suggestions. He couldn’t deny it, it was amazing to see how happy you were with the whole situation.

His happiness was short-lived when he saw three sullen faces - one of them looking like a bear - sitting in front of him.

"So Law, my friend." Penguin began.

"Shut up, it's me."

"But I'm his best friend." Bepo grumbled.

"What do you want?" he asked, trying to understand what the three were discussing so much

"Which of the three of us will be the best man?" Shachi warned and Law watched the three in front of him cross their arms and wait for a response.

Before he could respond, Law felt two arms slide and lock around him.

"We haven't decided that yet guys. We can talk about it later." you asked and watched them begin to argue among themselves who would be what.

"Thanks." Law muttered, making you laugh. You bent down to his ear level.

"And you, I'll be waiting for you in the room. I got someone to cover my duties today, now I want to continue feeling what my dear fiancé can do for me." In contrast to the whispered and sexy voice that left your lips, you left a chaste kiss on Law's cheek and left towards the dorms.

[exyrpf]

Do I even want to know what happened in the last 24 hours 😭 I'm almost afraid to ask but I'm also insanely curious

You probably don't want to know but I'll tell you because you have no choice. This will be long and...awful. But there are sources so that's fun! Please keep in mind that this was all released within 24 hours on Thursday, September 20th, 2024 and that, unfortunately, I haven't mentioned everything.

But! The GOP was certainly having a wild one yesterday.

To start things off:

The first 'Big News' to break was about Mark Robinson.

For those saying 'who the fuck is Mark Robinson', he's the current (R) Lt. Gov of North Carolina that is running for Gov. Before yesterday, he was best known for openly hating LGBT+ and Jewish folks, being a Holocaust denier, being (forcefully) anti abortion, saying it was better when women couldn't vote, anti immigrant, hating the civil rights movement, etc, just being a hateful Evangelical nasty fascist. MAGA to his core. Trump has endorsed him, saying he should be cherished and calling him "MLK on steroids". (Robinson is Black).

So, yeah, that's bad enough right? Yesterday it got even worse. CNN released a report about some comments he made on a porn site forum 12 years ago, the most prominent being 'i'm a black NAZI'. He also commented that he wished slavery was legal and that he'd own a few, and called himself a 'perv' that used to 'peep' on women in public locker rooms when he was a teenager.

Also the tale as old as time that I'm sure you could guess when I mentioned 'GOP' 'loudly transphobic' and 'porn site scandal' - trans porn was a favourite of his. Because of course.

Also of course - the GOP hasn't taken him off the ticket, and he will continue to be the nominee for governor in North Carolina!

Read the article, there's more about him and the situation in general. Mind the warnings.

-

Now on to our favourite worm brained bear eating anti vaxxer conspiracy theorist, Robert F. Kennedy Junior! I'm putting this under a read more now.

The first thing to drop about him yesterday was the news of an investigation after he allegedly cut off the head of a dead whale and took it home 20 years ago. Now I bet you're thinking, wow that's bad! Unfortunately for RFK Jr yesterday got worse. It was then revealed that he (70) was having an affair with right wing journalist Olivia Nuzzi (31) after New York Magazine suspended her.

Everything I learn about RFK Jr I learn against my own will.

-

Saying goodbye to RFK for now, let's move on to Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida! This Matt Gaetz, with the botox if you didn't recognise him.

Scary lookin, right?

This isn't a completely new story (here's an article about how he alledgedly paid for sex with a minor) but new court filings were released yesterday alledging that he attended a drug-fueled sex party in 2017 with the 17-year-old girl at the center of the alleged sex trafficking scandal.

Sure is great to have such trustworthy men representing this country!

OKAY, on to the next.

-

This wasn't really breaking news because this is just Trump being Trump but he gave a speech at an ANTI ANTISEMITISM EVENT where he preemptively blamed the Jews for being the reason he'll lose this election, telling them they need to get their head checked if they vote for Harris (that's pretty much part of his stump speech by now though) and saying he'll reinstate his Muslim ban. White fascist blaming Jews? Wow, I did Nazi that coming.

-

I genuinely could go on, I really truly could.

Oh! Kamala Harris went on Oprah and it was really nice and not at all insane and she talked to the family of the first known victim of Trump's abortion ban and it was very touching. Trump's official social media then posted a clip of her talking about her gun and saying 'If somebody breaks into my house, they're getting shot' like it was a snatch when in reality Republicans in the comments are saying 'actually, this would make me vote for her'. Thanks, Trump Team for the free advertising!

Misc:

Chris Rufo (known racist and anti immigration right wing activist) got revealed to have an illegal immigrant wife, and then got revealed to be a user of Ashley Madison (database where people go to cheat on their partners)(Robinson was also on Ashley Madison).

Jasmine Crockett during her thing and ripping white republicans to shreds. (idk this was just fun to me)

Actually Republicans and Project 2025 got ripped to shreds and shut down in general by multiple Congress members.

GOP is on the brink of causing a government shutdown, because of COURSE they are.

Cards Against Humanity sues SpaceX over “invasion” of land on US/Mexico border.

Anyway there's actually MORE believe it or not but I can't remember if it happened yesterday. Thank you for reading, I'm always open to discussing current events. I don't think it's a well known fact that I'm into politics because I don't talk about it on tumblr because people are kinda stupid. Anyway!

[smittywing]

WIP Wednesday: Marriage 101 (Part 3)

It's been a DAY on my side, so enjoy some fic.

Earlier parts here: | 1 | 2 |

From last time...

“Okay, yeah,” Jason conceded. “I guess I’ll have to stop by for my mail now and then.”

“You’d better,” Tim told him. “If Gotham U sends you a ginormous envelope, you have exactly one hour to get over here and open it or I’m doing it for you.”

Jason dropped his head back and laughed. If Tim watched the ripple of his throat, well, he was married to the man. “Fair,” he allowed with a grin. “So, uh, see you around, I guess?”

“Yeah,” said Tim. “See you around.”

And that was that. 

$

Tim didn't tell anyone. He was aware that Jason had some kind of conversation with Alfred that resulted in a hell of a lot of side-eye, but no commentary. 

Patrol happened. School happened. The occasional global crisis happened. Tim saw Jason maybe three times. 

Then, the envelope came. 

ONE HOUR, he texted. 

Jason showed up on his motorcycle, in his civvies, in fourteen minutes. 

“Where were you?” Tim asked as Jason took the envelope out of his hands and tore the flap. 

“Close,” Jason answered and yanked out a sheaf of paper. “Holy shit.”

“You're in,” Tim said, so confident that it didn't need to be a question. 

“I’m in,” Jason breathed. 

“Yeah!” Tim grabbed Jason’s shoulders and shook him hard. “You’re in!”

“I'm in!” Jason whooped. He wrapped Tim in a bear hug that might have cracked a rib of a less sturdy person. It tipped him off his feet and he let Jason whip him around in a half circle before releasing him. “Wow.” Jason said, straightening awkwardly. He ran a hand through the front of his hair and then settled both hands on his hips. “I wasn’t sure this was actually going to work,” he admitted.

“I was,” Tim said confidently. “Want to see your room?”

“I have a room?” Jason asked, his eyes meeting Tim’s. “Of my very own?”

“Yeah, we’re that modern kind of married where we each have our own space,” Tim joked. “C’mon.” He led Jason upstairs to the third floor where four bedrooms filled the corners of the narrow townhouse.

It was the second best bedroom in the place, with an en suite bathroom and a pair of windows that led to a fire escape. The walls were painted a warm white but it was neither as big nor as elegant as one of Bruce’s penthouse rooms would have been. The king-sized bed had a blue comforter and the dresser and nightstands were cherry wood.

“The closet has a false back for your suits and the wifi password is on the desk,” he said. There was a laptop on the desk, too, a low-end Wayne Tech one appropriate for a college student with a pre-loaded search history and secure messaging platforms hidden in a second operating system.

“Pretty sweet base,” Jason commented. “This mine?” he asked, tapping the computer.

“Already loaded with everything college student Jason Peterson could need,” Tim told him, “and a few extras.”

“Nice. Mind if I leave a few books up here?”

“What, no, you can leave yourself if you want,” Tim said. “I’m all by myself here and you’re supposed to be my husband, so you know, move in already.”

“Yeah, but.” Jason looked thoughtful. “It’s nice and close to campus. You don’t mind a roommate? For real?”

“For real,” Tim swore. “I mean, also it would look weird if you didn’t have some stuff here, right?”

“Right,” Jason said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll bring some stuff ‘round. So does this place have a kitchen?”

$

Since he wasn’t living on campus, Tim hadn’t planned to attend any of the freshman orientation events. This wasn’t high school. His plan was to get in, ace his classes, score his degree, and move on to Wayne Enterprises full-time. 

He had not accounted for Jason’s plan.

“The English department is having a sundae party,” Jason said, leaning in the doorway of the kitchen. It was a good lean, the kind that made his shoulders look extra big and his waist look extra narrow. “Come with me in case I don’t know anyone.”

“Of course you don’t know anyone,” Tim said, looking up from his case file. “It’s freshman orientation. The whole point is to meet people you don’t know.”

“Are you unfamiliar with the concept of wingman?” Jason asked. “C’mon. It’s ice cream. And toppings. You’re not going to get a better offer today.”

Jason had a point.

$

Banana Karenina. James and the Giant Peaches & Cream. One Flew Over the Coco’s Nut.

“They don’t have neapolitan,” Jason complained, studying the long table of thematic flavors. 

“No one could come up with a good pun,” said one of the grad students standing behind the table with a scoop. “Skor and Peace?”

Jason shook his head. “I’ll go with the Crazy Rum Raisin,” he decided.

Tim edged down the table looking for something…else. He wasn’t sure what but he was staying far away from the Grape Gatsby float, which was vanilla ice cream floating in a vat of grape soda. He paused in front of something called, The Coffet.

“Is this coffee?” he asked. 

“What book is that?” Jason asked, leaning up behind him.

“The Prophet!” the grad student said, already scooping out a serving for Tim. “By Khalil Gibran! Get it!?”

Tim did not get it.

But he did want coffee ice cream. 

“That’s a stretch, my dude,” Jason said, but Tim was already making off with his cup to top it with hot fudge.

With Tim as his wingman (or emotional support sidekick, Tim figured), Jason met some of the grad students and talked about the different classes they were assisting. Tim ate his ice cream and nodded at appropriate points. He was a tiny bit antsy about the reading he had to do for the first day of classes but he was a fast reader and watching Jason talk about the female authors in the 1800s was pretty amazing. After his dish of The Coff-et, he got a scoop of something called Parable of the (Elder)Flower and sprawled under a tree next to Jason who had withdrawn to try Banana Karenina.

“I’m surprised you wanted to come to this stuff,” Tim admitted. “I thought you would find it…” Tim considered the right word. “Frivolous.”

“Oh, it definitely is,” Jason agreed. He tilted his head to the side and ate a spoonful of ice cream. “But it’s nice, pretending I’m a real boy sometimes, you know?”

Tim snuck a peek over at Jason’s face. Jason was smiling a little and he looked young and - 

Jason was only two years older than Tim. It was easy to forget that sometimes when he was acting like an edgelord hatched from a Lazarus Pit. Tim had been a precocious kid, but he’d been a kid, with school and chores, and hobbies, even if those hobbies had included stalking Batman and Robin. Jason’s hobbies had included stealing tires so he could eat and dying at the hands of the Joker.

“Yeah,” Tim said. “It is.”

$

“You have actual food in your refrigerator,” Stephanie accused. 

“Ooh,” Tim said, abandoning the radio receiver he was dismantling and going to peer over her shoulder. “Anything good?”

“Somehow it makes me feel better that you don’t even know what kind of food you have,” Steph said. “I think those are deviled eggs?” 

“Oh, yeah, get them, and some of the spinach dip,” Tim advised. 

“There’s spinach dip? With actual spinach?”

“There’s chips on the top of the fridge.” Tim pried a transistor loose and said, “I told you Jason was staying here, right? For school?”

“Yeah, for school, and for cooking you amazing shit,” Steph said. “Speaking of, did you get your schedule?”

“Got it this morning,” Tim said, sliding a whole deviled egg into his mouth and meeting Steph’s fist-bump.

By “this morning” he meant the early hours of the previous day, hacking into the registrar’s office and rearranging his classes into a more ideal schedule as he munched on some post-patrol cereal and ran an upgrade on his phone. For the most part, he had received the engineering classes he had selected earlier in the summer, skipping over the courses he had taken while he was in high school. However, Gotham U had freshman requirements and one of them was an English class. Technically, Tim had tested out of that but it occurred to him that Jason would not have tested out of anything. So, he had hacked into Jason Peterson’s registration and committed to memory the course and section numbers of the two literature classes Jason had picked. One of them fit nicely in his schedule. It would be good to have a class with Jason. 

For…reasons.

$

Reasons he couldn’t necessarily remember when he slid into that particular class thirty seconds before the bell.  Jason was sitting in the front row, dwarfing the kids sitting around him, and holding court on the works of Jane Austen.

“Tim!” he waved. Tim made it a policy never to sit in the front row because it was too obvious when he inevitably had to skip out of class for crime fighting, but he slipped into a seat in the row behind Jason, which worked out because Jason was sitting sideways in his seat. “Guys, this is my husband, Tim,” he told the others.

Tim widened his eyes at Jason. He hadn’t expected they’d be introducing themselves as a married couple to the other students. Or to the professors. Jason widened his eyes in response and then *winked* at Tim. 

“This is Greg, Daniel, and Rebecca,” he introduced his - Jason had *friends* already? “They’re in my Classical Lit class that met yesterday. Greg, Daniel, and Rebecca murmured hellos to Tim, who murmured something back but was saved from further socialization by the arrival of the professor. 

She was a tall woman with pale hair swept back in a French twist and pince nez glasses perched on her nose, who introduced herself as Professor Worthington. She seemed a little formal compared to professors in Tim’s advanced engineering class, but Tim assumed riding herd on a required freshman English course did that to a person.

“When I call your name,” she instructed, “answer with your hometown and your favorite author.”

What. Tim didn’t have a favorite author. At least he didn’t think he did. He tried to remember reading for fun but that was something that happened pre-Robin. Next, he scanned back for required school reading and what was the least tedious to read. 

“Timothy Drake?”

“Uh. I’m from Gotham and uh, my favorite author is - “  Crap on a stick. “Sun Tzu?”

“Interesting choice,” Professor Worthington said skeptically. She squinted through her glasses at Tim for a moment. “Are you a chess player, Mr. Drake?”

“When I have time,” he said. He so rarely did have time, but yes, he saw the connection. He let out the breath he’d been holding as quietly as possible. Sun Tzu was a good choice. He’d only written one book, it was short, and Tim had read it. 

Professor Worthington nodded and moved on. There were about a hundred and twenty students in the class so it took her a while to get to Jason. Long enough for about a dozen Austens, a few Orwells, some Bronte’s, a handful of Vonneguts, and one Stephen King, which earned that student a general snicker.

“The best novels are those we can engage with,” Professor Worthington said mildly in his defense.  “Jason Peterson.”

“Gotham born and bred,” Jason said. “And Mary Oliver.”

“Mary Oliver,” Professor Worthington said thoughtfully. “The Night Traveler?”

“Wild Geese,” Jason countered.

Tim, who had never heard of Mary Oliver, tried to Google her work on his laptop without moving his hands very much. He had seen Jason read Austen and Bronte, was she in that era?

“‘You do not have to be good,” Jason said and wow this was poetry. His voice was deep and mellow and curled around the words in a way Tim had never heard. “You do not have to walk on your knees; for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body; love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile, the world goes on.’”

“And you’re Mr. Drake’s husband,” Professor Worthington said dryly. “Interesting pairing, you two.”’

She moved on but Tim felt the words of the poem, in Jason’s voice, jammed up in his head.  He kicked the back of Jason’s chair and mouthed, “That was great,” when Jason turned around.

Jason flushed across the bridge of his nose and the highest part of his cheeks, summer freckles popping into view. “Don’t you dare tell anyone,” he hissed in return.

Tim shook his head no. He wasn’t going to tell anyone. This was too perfect, too precious, to share.

$

[delusionaldaydreamz]

snickers | m.s.

W/C- 1474 | x reader/ y/n

in which y/n accidentally flusters Matt and decides to take it a bit farther

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• “What the fuck?” I muttered to myself as I unwrapped my candy bar. “Yooo, look at this snickers.” I chuckled holding up the abnormally thick snickers to show the triplets as we lounged around their couch waiting for our movie to start. The guys all chuckled at me, Nick giving a slightly suggestive eyebrow raise. “That’s oddly familiar.” He joked making me cringe. “Ew,” I chuckled. “Why don’t you elaborate?” I teased, staring directly into his eyes as I slowly took a bite, making him cringe now. “You know exactly what I meant.” He rolled his eyes, turning to the tv but I could still feel eyes on me. 

        I glanced at both Chris and Matt to see who was watching our banter, and unfortunately it happened to be Matt. Once we made eye contact he shifted uncomfortably, turning to the tv as he crossed his leg over his knee. After a moment, I saw Matt adjust his jeans out of the corner of my eye. He kept his eyes on the tv screen, his brows furrowed slightly as he tried to focus on the movie but he looked pretty distracted. I noticed that he had now pulled a pillow over the top of his lap. 

        I’d managed to forget Matt’s odd behavior after a little while, but it was brought back to my mind when I took another bite of my snickers bar and noticed him staring again. I could see his head turned toward me out of the corner of my eye, but I kept my gaze on the tv, deciding to mess with him a little. 

        I took another bite, a little slower this time allowing my lips to wrap around the bar in a suggestive way, even chewing a little slower now. I tried to make it look unintentional, but it was definitely turning Matt on. I saw him shift again, adjusting the pillow over his lap once more. 

      “We need blankets.” Matt spoke up. “Yeah that would be nice.” I agreed, rubbing a hand over my arm as if I were cold, a devious plan to tease Matt in the back of my mind. Nick let out a sigh. “And I’m guessing your lazy ass isn’t gonna get them.” He stared at Matt for a moment before mindlessly walking over to their linen cabinet and pulling out a couple small blankets. 

        “Here.” He tossed them over to us, unfolding one for himself as he returned to his seat on the couch. “Wow you didn’t grab one for me?” Chris acted offended. 

       “Here,” I innocently handed him mine. “We can just share or I can share with Matt or something.” I suggested since I was sitting between Matt and Chris. I knew sharing with Chris right now would make Matt jealous, but I knew sharing with matt would make him nervous and maybe even a little more turned on, so either way it’s a win. 

         “I’m not sharing my blankey.” Chris said making me chuckle while Nick cringed dramatically at him and his word choice. “I’ll just share with Matt then.” I acted as if I knew nothing of Matt’s situation happening in his pants, scooting closer to him. “Oh, okay- I guess.” He shrugged, almost fumbling over his words. “Unless you don’t want to?” I innocently raised an eyebrow at him. “No no it’s okay..” he trailed, reluctantly lifting the blanket. I scooted even further, just to tease him, and slipped under the blanket. My thigh nonchalantly brushed against his, and I felt him tense up a bit causing me to look over at him. He looked guilty, but when he turned to look down at me he flashed a small, unconvincing smile. “You okay?” I leaned in super close to his ear to whisper, my breath probably hitting his neck. He just nodded, sitting up a little straighter and staring directly at the tv screen. 

      I considered my next course of action carefully. For a moment I thought of maybe going to the bathroom and taking a risky pic to send him but that would be too left field for sure. I also considered resting my hand on his thigh and just full on teasing him, but that also felt like too much. I settled on taking another seductive bite of my candy bar. The most innocent way I could think to tease him. 

       I heard a breath escape his lips, almost sounding like a sigh. “Are you sure?” I asked quietly, resting my head on his shoulder and letting my hand slip under the blanket, onto his thigh as innocently as I could. This made him fully stiffen, scooting away a bit. “Yeah no I-I’m good.” He stuttered making me smirk. 

        Matt has never really hit on me or anything before so the situation was really surprising but kind of flattering at the same time. I would’ve expected it from Chris more than Matt to be honest. 

      “Is this okay?” I lightly tapped where my hand had been rubbing little circles into his thigh. “Why wouldn’t it be?” He shifted again. I noticed him tugging at his jeans a bit even though he tried to make it not obvious. “I don’t know, you seem tense.” I said, adding more pressure to my touch and slowly running my hand up and down. I tried to pass it off as innocent, like I was trying to massage the area or something to help him relax but he glared down at me, his hand grabbing my wrist the second it brushed against his bulge. 

        Before he could speak Nick did. “Would you guys stop whispering?” “Oh please like to can hear shit.” Matt snapped with an eye roll, clearly taking his frustration with me out on his brother. “I can hear your dumb little pss pss pss back and forth! Zip it.” Nick said. I chuckled shaking my head at him, beginning to rub my hand on Matt’s leg again since his grip had loosened when Nick snapped him out of it. His grip tightened around my wrist again, pulling my hand out of the blanket nonchalantly as he glanced at his brothers to make sure they weren’t looking. “Enough.” He said firmly, but quietly so they wouldn’t catch it. That alone was enough to soak me. 

           I sighed at his words, or word I guess, crossing my arms over my chest with a pout. Matt shook his head at me, trying to focus on the movie. He was getting more frustrated by the second at this point. I had been completely lost about the movie by now, Hadn’t paid attention to anything and genuinely had no idea what was going on. All I was trying to do was figure out how to rile up Matt even more, enough to make him do something about it now that he had fully turned me on. 

       I decided to leave him alone for a bit, keeping my hands to myself and just staring blankly at the tv screen. My mind was definitely filled with Matt though, I still hadn’t managed to process most of what was going on in the movie. Once I could feel Matt start to relax again, I rested my head on his shoulder. Something I’ve done many times before. 

        “I’m serious y/n.” Matt warned in a low tone. “I’m just resting.” I said defensively. “You know what you’re doing.” I rolled my eyes at his words leaning back into the sofa with another pout. God you’d think after getting a boner from seeing a girl eat a snickers bar you’d be thrilled to have her giving you some attention. 

       As the movie came to an end, Matt went to his room without a word, leaving the three of us on the couch. After sitting and talking to Nick and Chris for a bit I excused myself to use the restroom. 

     Luckily, that was right beside Matt’s room. I shut the bathroom door so it looked like I was in there, but I quickly slipped into Matt’s room instead. His head shot up from his bed, watching me enter his room and quietly shut the door behind me. “What are you doing?” He stared up at me with frustration still evident in his voice. “I don’t know yet.” I shrugged sauntering over to his bed. “What do you want me to do?” I asked lowly, crawling on top of him. I sat in his lap,  staring down at him 

      He narrowed his eyes, staring up at me for a moment. “I think you already know the answer to that.” I giggled at his words, placing my hands on either side of his neck as I grind down against his bulge. “Fuck,” he let out, flipping us around so he was hovering over me. “You shouldn’t have teased me, y/n.”  ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• A/N- I kinda wanna finish this/ make a part too but ???? I’m scared to write smut?? 😂😭

[arielburrow]

Jealous Joe!!

Hit and Quit

smut + LSU Joe

Tiger land was once again lit up following LSU’s win over Auburn. Beer and sweat lingered throughout the air, especially in this particular bar where most of the players were. You were excited to come out and celebrate with all your friends. LSU home games were like nothing you’d ever seen, especially with this season, as they are currently undefeated.

Grabbing drinks with your friends, you all find a place to stand and attempt to talk through the blasting music. Most of them gushing over the fact that the team was across the room. Your friend Abigail grabs your hand and pulls you toward the dance floor.

“So you ever gonna tell them?” she yells over the music as you both squeeze between people. “Neh, it’s not even important. Besides, I went on a date the other night,” You smirk. “With Joe!?” Her eyes widened and you roll your eyes. “No. Not with Joe, with Anthony.” You lean in close to make sure she can hear you. “WOW, his friend? How was it? I mean i’m sure it wasn’t better than sex with Joe Burrow,” She rambles. You nudge her a bit, “It was good…I mean, definitely not my type, but we had a nice dinner together and we went out for drinks.” You shrug. “But your right, not at all better than my hookup with Joe.” You whisper loudly with a wink and she laughs.

You and Joe met a few months ago and there was always so much tension, everyone could sense it. A few weeks ago he finally made a move and you some how found yourself in Joe Burrow’s sheets the next morning, but of course, he was already gone for practice. Obviously you expected this, this was what he was know for doing all across campus, yet girls continued to flock to his apartment. For whatever the reason is, you were a little disappointed. I mean, prior to just a few weeks ago, you and Joe were actually becoming close as friends and it was kind of fun. You obviously thought he was cute, and besides the cockiness, he really was a funny, genuine guy. He hadn’t reached out to you or anything, so you decided to try to push it to the back of your mind and distract yourself with Anthony.

After a while of dancing and shots, Abby pulls you to the bathroom line which of course was practically out the door. “Okay so, do you think your mastermind plan will work?” Abby says turning to you in line. You roll your eyes at her comment, “Abby.” You shoot her a look, “for the last time, there is no “mastermind plan”, Joe just wanted a hookup and it was mutual, Anthony just happens to be a friend of Joe’s,” You finish that last part with a slight smirk that Abby doesn’t necessarily pick up on. “Oh please, It’s so obvious you have a thing for him and he clearly has a thing for you, I just wish he could swallow is ego and admit it,” she says. “No I mean i get it, you know, like it was just a hookup. But i guess i’ve just never had one like that before, there was so much connection to it, it felt different you know?” Abby just gives you a look that tells you she can see right through you. “Whatever, all I know is his eyes have been glued to you all night.” She says turning back to enter the bathroom. You smile to yourself at the thought. It’s not like you were trying to make Joe jealous, I mean he probably won’t even find out about you and Anthony.

Walking out of the hall, you pass the large table where the players were seated, you both try to pass quickly but a hand reaches out to stop you. “y/n!” Anthony smiles. “Hey!” you turn to him. Abby is also greeted by one of the guys. “How’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in a minute,” He says loudly over the music. You lean down to get closer so it’s easier for you two to make conversation. “I’m really good.” you smile and continue to talk with him, oblivious of the pair of eyes staring daggers into the two of you.

More girls have found their way to the table and the whole section of the bar was a mob scene of people. You’re deep in a conversation with Anthony, leaned in very close to his face to be able to hear him when suddenly he’s interrupted, “Anthony man i don’t know what drink you ordered but i’m gonna need two more, could you go grab some?” Joe says standing next to you now. “Yeah man no problem” he responds. You watch Anthony as he gets up, careful to avoid acknowledging Joe, but that is forced to come to an end when he sits in front of you where Anthony was and pulls you forward to sit next to him.

He doesn’t say anything, just scans your face for a moment causing you to raise you’re eyebrows. “Can I help you Joe?” You smirk a little, but his face stays stoic, almost angry looking. “Didn’t know you were close with Anthony,” he says. “Yeah he’s my friend.” You say, causing a laugh out of Joe. “what?” you question. “Well, i mean, I didn’t know you went on dates and made out with your friends.” He replies sharply. “Ohhh” you reply, watching as Anthony gathers the drinks from the bar, but Joe reaches up and turns your face back towards him. You bit your lip to suppress the smile from Joes action. “I don’t get why it matters what I do or who I do it with,” You say. “Besides, Anthony’s a really cool guy, I see why you’re good friends with him.” You smile as you take a sip of your drink. “I’m not really good friends with him, I just think it’s stupid that you have to go after my friends cause you’re mad.” he says loudly over the music. You shoot him a look, “I’m not mad Joe, I don’t care that you wanted to hit and quit, so stop being a little bitch and acting like you care what I do with your friends.” You put your glass down and stand up to meet Anthony half way as he brings back the drinks.

After placing them down, the guys all scamper to grab one, but Joe remains in his position, staring at you as you grab Anthony’s hand. You pull him to the dance floor and see Abby shoots you a look that told you she knew exactly what you were doing. The two of you get lost in the large crowd, his hands all over you in an instant. The loud music, the crowd, Anthony’s hands, the thought of Joe; all gave you a high that brought a smile to your face. You knew Joe was mad, you also knew he wouldn’t admit it, but it was still fun to get him going.

After what felt like hours of dancing, a very drunk Anthony hung onto you as you made your way through the crowd. Walking back to your original table, you accidentally lock eyes with the pair that had been watching you all night. You watch as he turns to a few of the guys and says something to them. Soon after two of them head over to your table. “Hey y/n, we got Anthony, he’s too shit faced to make his way home, we’ll get an uber with him,”Justin says. “Are you sure? I mean I was planning on heading out anyway, I could call one,” you ask. “Nah, it’s all good he’s our neighbor we got it. See ya around.” He says as he and the other guy pull Anthony along out of the bar.

You finally decide it’s time to go as the bar was mostly drunks and most of your friends had left, you texted Abby that you were waiting outside, given you didn’t want to go back over to Joe’s table to get her.

You were about to request an uber, when you felt a hand on your back. You turn around to find Joe with a face you had never seen before. You’ve seen him at his most ecstatic point, his cockiest, and even his angriest, but never like this. He looked almost defeated. “Joe-” he cuts you off. “I hate seeing you with him, hate it.” he says flat out. “The way he touches you, the way he looks at you, I hated every second of what I couldn’t take my eyes off of in there.” He says moving inches away from you. You’re forced to look up at him now and you can feel that familiar sensation in your stomach. “What are you talking about Joe, stop acting like you wanted something to come out of the other night. I know you and I know how you work, you don’t want anything but sex.” you reply rolling your eyes at him. He grabs your hand and you try to yank it away but he holds on. “I know, I know, and I don’t know where this is coming from, but I just don’t want you with anyone else okay?” his face holds some kind of sincerity you’ve never seen before. “Joe Burrow…” you smile, “are you…jealous?” you raise your eyebrows waiting for an answer. He just stares at you as you continue to smile, until he finally breaks. He crashes his lips into yours and before you can think, your hands are cupping his cheeks. His hands move across your whole body as he holds you close. When you pull away you smile, but his face stays stoic. “Maybe I am jealous y/n…” he starts moving so that his lips are inches from yours, “cause I don’t want anyone to touch you the way I do.”

You feel yourself hit the wall as your back makes its way through Joe’s apartment. He moves from your lips to your neck, sucking hard to get a moan out of you. He pulls you into his bedroom, slamming the door behind you both.

Pushing you on the bed, he goes to undo his belt but you stop him, replacing his hands with yours. He pulls your shorts down instead and practically rips you’re flimsy “LSU” tank top off your chest. You finally get his pants to hit the floor and push him onto the bed so the two of you can switch spots. You make him move up so you can position yourself perfectly between his legs. You take his cock in hand and start to stroke him, earning an immediate moan from him. You were surprised he was letting you do this, his whole claim to fame is his constant dominance in the bedroom, but you weren’t complaining whatsoever.

Taking him into your mouth, you gag as he hits the back of your throat. “Yes baby, like that” he says as you start to bob your head. “that feels so good y/n.” you moan against his cock and continue to work him until he insists he’s about to fall over edge. You replace your mouth with your hands and stroke him quickly, not daring to lose eye contact. “cum joey” you lick his tip one last time before he lets go and his orgasm hits, you clean him dry of every last drop.

“fuck” he moans out as he lies there for a moment. He looks down to find you smiling, and you could swear you saw something switch is his eyes. He pulls you on top of him, only to flip positions to put you beneath him. He sets you on all fours and puts himself right behind you. “You like being put in place huh?” he says, you only moan in return feeling him slide your panties to the side and run a finger along your pussy.

“Joe, please i need you,” you beg as he continues to toy with you. You feel him lick along your center and let out a moan as he removes his tongue. Deciding to make this a little more fun, you bring your hand down to your center and start to play with yourself. “Joe, I swear to god, i’ll do this myself if you don’t want to help me,” you moan out as you feel his body stiffen behind you. He pushes your hand away and replaces it with his, causing you to gasp. Suddenly you feel him push into you and you can hold back the sound that escapes your lips. You rock into him desperate for movement. “No.” he says, “stop being needy and let me fuck you how I want to.” he demands as he begins to rock into you.

“Joe, oh my god.” you shake out, you have felt him before, but you don’t think you could ever get used to this. “I know baby.” He thrusts harder and faster each time and you can’t do anything but melt beneath him. Both of you moan at the feeling of one another and you feel that familiar feeling arise in your stomach.

“Joe, i’m gonna cum.” you moan out. He continues to thrust into you while wrapping a hand around you to meet your center. He rubs at your clit, causing you to scream out to him. “Come on baby, cum for me.” and that was all it took to send you over edge. He does the same just seconds after finishing with a few last thrusts before you both collapse onto the bed.

“Wow” was all you could say. He laughs in return and pulls you into him. You nuzzle against his chest and look up to him, “did i find Joe Burrow’s soft spot?” you giggle. “hmmm maybe.” he says smiling down to you. The two of you drift off to sleep and you’re pleasantly surprised to find him beside you the next morning.

Thank you for the requests everyone, I promise i’m making my way through them 🫶

[borathae]

"Spending time with Yoongi will always make your day better."

Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Witch!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Slice of Life Fluff

Warnings: love and being in love and loving each other, they're cooking together and they're happy and in love!!!, also they hug each other and LOVE each other 😭, also their teamwork in all parts of life just breaks me apart, they're the one true couple, i apologise i love them so much

Wordcount: 2.4k

a/n: i hope that this can cheer you guys up a little. now i'm crying because i don't want my forever seven to leave and love this couple so much :(

Sometimes days aren’t good, but describing them as a bad day doesn’t fit either. You can feel that something was off, but you also can’t describe what exactly it is that is off. You just know that something is wrong. It makes you restless and uneasy, yet at the same time hinders you from doing anything at all. It once again, must be brought to attention that it isn’t enough for it to be a bad day. You know how paralysis because of mental struggles feels like and this isn’t that. You simply feel restless and unable to do anything against it.

You tried to fight the feeling come the later hours of the afternoon, but not even reading helped. As a matter of fact, you managed to read half a page and then you lost interest again. Taking care of your plants entertained you for an hour before you felt too exhausted to continue and you gave up.

Which leads us to the current moment in the estate’s main kitchen. It is empty, safe for you and you are currently trying to entertain yourself by making tea. You let out a loud sigh, sagging your shoulders. You feel so weird. You don’t like feeling this way. Not one bit.

“Hey princess”, Yoongi enters the kitchen.

You turn, studying him from head to toe. He is walking to you, rolling his head as he does to get the stiffness out of his neck.

“Hey, love. How did it go?”

“Good. Meredith and I finally finished the spell to close the gateway”, he says and gives you a kiss on your cheek, “we can get rid of the leak tomorrow.”

Meredith’s coven struggles with a dark magic leak not far from their place and Yoongi has been in magical connection with Meredith all day, working in the library whilst she worked in her own. Together they constructed a spell which will hopefully close the leak for good.

“That’s amazing news. You guys are so cool”, you say and turn back to the kettle. The water finished boiling and you need to fill your mug. 

“Yeah, hopefully it’ll work ‘cause otherwise we need to think of something else.”

“No matter the outcome, I’m sure you guys will be successful in the end. I believe in you.”

“Thank you, princess. That motivates me”, he says and closes the distance so he could drape his arm around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder, rubbing your side softly, “how was your day?”

“Wow Yoongi”, you say and let out a loud sigh, “thank you so much for asking because I literally can’t take it anymore. Today’s such a poopy day and I don’t even know why.” 

“Really? What happened?” he asks worriedly, hugging you.

You shrug your shoulders.

“Nothing happened, that’s the thing. It’s not even a bad day and I don’t feel sad or anything, but it’s not a good day either.”

“That’s okay. You can have neutral days.”

“But it’s not a neutral day. It’s a…a...I guess it’s an uncomfortable day, but not uncomfortable enough to be upset about it. I just constantly dislike what is happening to me. Even your hug makes me feel weird.”

“Sorry”, Yoongi says and gives you space instantly.

“Don’t apologise. It was a nice hug, but today I just constantly feel murgh”, you make the sound, “like that sound. Murgh.”

“Did you do something, which could have triggered it?”

“No, I just lied around until I felt uneasy, I tried to read and garden but even that felt weird. Now I’m here. Making tea and feeling murgh.”

“Maybe you’re just bored.”

“Bored?”

Yoongi nods his head, “I know I feel weird when I lie around and do nothing. I get bored and weirdly stressed out for not achieving anything.”

“Yes exactly. Thank you. This is exactly how I feel. It’s so late already and I haven’t done anything productive today. Now I feel like I need to do something or else I’d have wasted this day, but nothing interests me.”

“Mhm, I understand. I’m sorry you feel this way, princess. I don’t think you wasted your day. You just did some resting. That’s already enough.”

“I guess”, you say and sign, “I know how you mean it and I know it’s enough to just do nothing sometimes, but I really wanted today to be productive.” 

“I understand. Maybe we could still do something productive?”

“No, it’s okay. You already did so much with Meredith today. I don’t wanna take cozy time away from you just ‘cause I can’t get to rest today.”

“I wouldn’t mind. We could do one of those murder mystery games together. We still gotta solve the case with the glovebox. You know the one where you fell asleep on my lap last time?”

You laugh, nodding your head. You were three hours into the game when sleepiness dragged you down and you fell asleep with your head on his lap as he read you one of the clues. It wasn’t your fault, Yoongi played with your hair and it knocked you out.

“That’s cozy enough for me. We could continue the game”, Yoongi says.

You glance at him. Yoongi grins.

“I know that look. You wanna do a murder mystery together, don’t you?”

“Yeah maybe”, you confess, “that game is so much fun.”

“Yeah, it’s really fun”, he agrees and opens the fridge to hand you the milk.

“Thanks.”

“Mhm”, he hums and studies the contents of the fridge, “did you have dinner already?”

“No, that’s the next thing which overwhelms me. No food sounds good, but I’m starving. I literally ate raw noodles for a snack.”

Yoongi scrunches his nose in distaste.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t eat raw pasta.”

“But the crunch and the blandness of them. It just satisfies something in me”, you argue in a whine.

“Okay, if you say so”, Yoongi murmurs and bends down to inspect the lower levels, “do you want curry? I make a very yummy Korean style curry.”

“Oh I actually love curries.”

“Good. Then it’s decided. My indecisive princess is gonna eat curry tonight”, he says and straightens up. He takes out some of the ingredients, giving you a smile.

“You’re cute, you know?” you say.

“Mhm, you keep saying that yeah.”

“Because I mean it”, you close the distance so you can hug his waist, “you’re cute.”

Yoongi leans in for a smooch to his cheek. He hides his giddiness with a faint touch to his own neck. 

“Can you get me the cutting board?” he asks.

“Yeah sure”, you say and spring into action instantly. Weirdly enough, you don’t feel that uncomfortably bored anymore ever since Yoongi entered the kitchen. Even cooking, which once sounded too exhausting to do, feels easy. Yoongi is cutting the vegetables while you prepare a pot with some water. It feels so easy to do now that you can do it with Yoongi.

“I want music. Is it okay for you if I turn the radio on?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Nice”, you say, turning on the radio with a snap of your fingers. The CD which you listened to last night plays from the beginning.

“Mhm, that’s making it so much more fun”, Yoongi says and then begins humming to the song as he cuts up the potato for the curry. 

“It does. Even music felt exhausting, but I don’t think so right now”, you say and swing your hips to the music. 

“Mhm I get it. Do you want meat in the curry?”

“No, it’s not necessary. I’ll start on the rice, okay?”

“Yeah okay”, Yoongi says and sings his next words to the melody of the song, “she wants no meat in the curry. Hmhm.”

You glance at him. He is so lovely without even trying. You enjoy the smile he brings to the surface until it naturally dies down again and leaves a warm flicker in your chest. Then you look at the rice cooker, lowering yourself so you could read the different settings better. You turn it on to check for the water levels. There is still enough inside, which means you can wash the rice.

You have to get to where Yoongi is standing for it, passing him with a swing in your hips and your right hand dancing along his lower back. He looks at you.

“Do you need to get inside?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

He steps aside so you could get the bowl.

“Thank you”, you say, stealing a little cheek kiss for which Yoongi leans in naturally.

“Mhm”, he hums while you dance back to the rice cooker. You take out the rice from the cupboard.

“Do you want to eat something as well?”

“Yes, I feel like it tonight. I haven’t had curry in ages.”

“Okie dokie”, you say and then sing the next words, “rice for my Boongie so he can grow big and strong.”

Yoongi chuckles and meets your eyes as you look at him with a snicker crinkling your features. He shakes his head and breaks the eye contact, the chuckle still remains on his lips. Feeling very warm in your chest, you begin washing two portions of rice until the water is clear. You put it into the rice cooker and turn it on. It starts with a short jingle.

Now that you have time and nothing to do, you dance back to Yoongi. You hug him from behind, sliding your hands under his yellow sweater to caress his tummy gently. You rest your cheek against his back. He leans into the hug, swaying from side to side as you control the slow dance. Goosebumps cover his skin instantly, amazing shivers run down his spine. This is such a simple connection, but it feels so comforting to both of you.

“I think I want meat in mine”, Yoongi says. He is almost finished with the vegetables, slowing down his cutting for the sole reason of enjoying the hug a little longer.

“Yeah? I could grill it for you”, you offer as you bask in the feeling of him with closed eyes. His tummy is so soft and his skin so tender. He is also so, so warm.

“Yes, I would like that”, he says.

“Okay okay”, you say and kiss his back. You give him a little squeeze and then slip away from him again.

Yoongi glances at you, missing your hug now that it is gone.

“Thank you”, he says.

“Of course”, you answer him as you stir the boiling water, “how long do we have to cook the curry?”

“It should be done in twenty minutes”, he tells you, carrying the cutting board to the stove, “careful, love”, he warns so you could step aside and he can scoop the vegetables into the boiling water. 

“I’ll start with the grilling after ten minutes I think”, you say.

“Yeah, sounds good to me. Could you please bring me some bay leaves and a cinnamon stick?”

“Coming right up”, you say, hurrying to the spice rack, “will we put cinnamon into the curry?”

“Yeah, just for a short time. It adds a lot of warmth to the taste. It goes well with the season.”

He is seasoning the curry as you and he are talking.

“I like that. Warm food tastes so much better in the colder months. Wow Yoongi, yesterday was such a nice day. The weather was so cold and gloomy. I was really happy.”

“Mhm yeah, yesterday was nice.”

“I need to finally put leaves on the vegetable beds. Otherwise it’ll get too cold for it.”

“Yeah, right. Do you need help with it?”

“No, I can manage but thank you so much.”

“Of course. If you change your mind, you can tell me.”

“I will, thank you love.”

You return to Yoongi with the rest of the spices, inhaling deeply. 

“Mhhhm this already smells amazing, wow”, you hum, moving in closer to waft the steam into your face for another whiff, “mhhm.”

“Yeah, it should taste good. You’ll like it.” 

“Is it a special recipe?” 

“No, not really. I thought of it myself. Put the spices in.”

You follow his order, watching them sink into the rich coloured liquid. Yoongi stirs it three times then places the spoon aside.

“I’m sure that it’ll taste amazing. Your recipes are always the best”, you say.

“Yeah uhm”, Yoongi doesn’t say anything else. Instead he walks to the sink to wash his hands. 

You follow him, attacking him with a back hug so passionately, Yoongi stumbles from side to side. He laughs, pressing back into you while his hands find support by grasping the edge of the sink. 

“You’re such a Boongie”, you mumble into his sweater, squeezing him tightly, “mhm Yoongi, I wanna squish you.”

“Okay, okay I get it”, Yoongi laughs and turns in your arms, “release me before I die of asphyxiation.”

“Asphyxiation the man says as if I have enough strength to choke you to death”, you say in a cackle.

“Hm no, you don’t”, Yoongi agrees and lifts his right hand to flick droplets of water into your face.

“Ah! Hey! Don’t do that”, you squeak, laughing loudly as you wipe your face dry by rubbing it into his sweater.

Yoongi chuckles, “sorry, the opportunity was too tempting not to take it. Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not. I was attacked”, you joke, making him laugh. 

“Sorry”, he says and rests his cheek on your shoulder, closing his eyes as he does. He always closes his eyes when you and he hug. It’s like an instinct to him. 

“It’s okay, don’t worry. Mhm Yoongi, my love”, you say, snuggling into him as your arms tighten around him once again, “you’re so Boongie.”

“What even is a Boongie?”

“What do you mean? A Boongie is exactly how you are. Sweet and cute and full of love and so, so squishable. Yeah, that’s a Boongie.”

Yoongi chuckles, “okay, if you say so. I feel honoured then.”

You nod your head, lifting it a second later so you could meet his eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask him.

“Yeah please”, he allows you with his sparkly eyes flitting to your lips.

You close in for a kiss, meeting Yoongi in the middle because he will always lean in for kisses. 

“Mhm”, he hums, cupping your cheek while his right arm closes around your waist. 

“Hm”, you answer him, hooking your fingers behind his neck.

You and he lose yourselves in the moment while the curry boils on the stove happily and the radio sings its songs.

Sometimes days aren’t good, but that doesn’t mean that with the right company they can’t turn into good days.

[tgmsunmontue]

Season to Taste - 22/? WIP

Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another. Heading into this little world.

PROLOGUE/ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FORTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN NINETEEN TWENTY TWENTYONE

CHAPTER TWENTYTWO

                Sleep is a rare and precious commodity, one he cannot allow himself to luxuriate in while he works at finalizing the menu. While he sources vendors and suppliers and picks out flatware and tablecloths and what kind of light fittings will look the best. Leandro and Silvia arrive and take over for a bit and it feels so nice to just feel like he can take a breath. The fact that there is a film crew dogging his every step isn’t helping, but he also knows the publicity and exposure he’ll get will all be worth it.

                Leandro makes him make everything on the menu, then tastes it as he cooks and he refines it further. Listens as Leandro gives him further tips about what can be prepped in advance and what things must be done fresh. He goes through Bradley’s wine selection as well, pares them with different meals and makes Bradley do a blind taste test. He thought he’d learnt enough, but he’s quickly learning he’s got a lifetime of education in front of him.

                He okay with that.

…            …            …

                “Did you know you were Jake’s first kiss?”

                “Yeah, he did tell me that…” Leo says with a soft smile he directs Jake’s way and Jake pulls a face at Nicola, because of course she’d be the one to try and humiliate him the most.

                “Oh. Damn. I was hoping I could embarrass him.”

                “Well, at least you’re honest about your intentions,” Jake mutters.

                “Do you have photos of him as a kid or teenager? That’d work.”

                “No!” Jake yells, but both Nicola and Amanda are already running and his dad is laughing. So much for his dad helping keep his sisters under control. He should have known better. Leo’s arms are around him though, stopping him from going after his sisters, or just to hold him close, it doesn’t matter.

…            …            …

                “Try not to fuck him up okay?”

                “Yeah, no, of course not,” Bradley starts, not really sure if this is a threat or well wishes or what exactly. Then he gets a shoulder pat so hard he won’t be surprised if it bruises and decides it’s likely a bit of both.

…            …            …

                He leaves Leo in bed with a promise to return later and while he doubts it will happen he really hopes to find him still in bed when he gets back from helping his sisters at the farmers market. He gets to the lot where they set up and of course they’re already there, used to doing this without him but he still feels a little bad, quickly following directions and moving things to where they want them, calling out greetings to equally bleary-eyed people, although some are bright and cheerful and even after ten years in the Navy he still hates naturally early morning people a little.

                “Jake. Jake! Come on, where’s your head at?”

                He startles, and Nicola is looking at him with a mix of irritation and concern. He shakes his head and mumbles an apology under his breath.

                “I was going to ask what you were daydreaming about, but I don’t think I want to know…”

                “You don’t think it’s… going too fast?”

                “Oh. You’re head’s not here. And fast? You’ve never let a little speed scare you off before.”

                “I’m not scared,” Jake scoffs. “I agreed to… date him didn’t I?”

                “Yep, and now you’re second guessing your decision. Why?”

                “Just… what if I fuck it up?”

                “Oh. Oh Jake… what if he fucks it up?”

                “He won’t.”

                “Wow. So certain already. Look. I saw the two of you being very… sweet with each other last night. And it’s only been a week, I know that, but he seems to really like you. Like… really like you. Let him like you. Don’t invent problems or issues because you think it should be more difficult.”

                “Yeah.”

                “I know, easier said than done sometimes. But I know you can be a stubborn shit head when you put your mind to it.”

                “Thanks Nicky…”

                “Also he’s hot and really into you…”

                “Yeah well, that helps too,” Jake says with a smirk and Nicola rolls her eyes and slaps his arm to get him moving again.

…            …            …

                He spies him walking toward them, trays of coffee balanced in each hand and Jake lets his eye travel up Leo’s body, the long legs covered in light denim that Jake’s had wrapped around his hips. White tank making his skin look even more golden and warm in the increasing heat of the Texan summer morning. Then a muted Hawaiian shirt flapping as he strides toward them and yeah, it’s only been a few hours but he’s starting to feel like he’s getting a taste of what coming back from being deployed is going to be like.

                “Hey. Wasn’t expecting you. What are you doing here?”

                “To help. I got you guys all coffee from the coffee cart. I might not want to get up before five to help, but being here for the rush from eight is much more respectable time. Maria and Olivia said I’d be the most use then.”

                “Yeah. He can carry people’s things to their cars.”

                “Oh yeah, the church ladies like to see flexing muscles,” Jake says with a grin, and Leo’s answering smile is wide.

                “Ugh. Stop looking at each other like that. You’ll make the fudge jealous.”

                Jake blinks. Frowns.

                “What?”

                “Tooth rotting fluff,” she says, gesturing between them and he shrugs, because he’s not going to disagree.

…            …            …

                “Come back to my place.”

                “Your place?”

                “Yeah, my apartment I share with Nicola. It’s close.”

                “Close huh?”

                “Yeah. We can have a shower. Wash our clothes.”

                “And what will we do while our clothes get clean hmm?”

                “I’ve got a few ideas.”

                “I bet you do. Lead the way.”

…            …            …

                The rest of the weekend feels relaxed. He does end up making brunch for Maria, Olivia and Nicola on Sunday, much to Jake’s pretend annoyance. At least he thinks it’s pretend, and it might just be the fact that he left Jake alone in bed at his apartment and went back to his rental so he could cook. He finds having Jake in his working space, the kitchen, easy, despite the fact he usually hates having people hovering. If they’re in the kitchen they should be working, and he’s used to them working and moving around him. Jake doesn’t move; every time Bradley bumps or brushes against him he gets a kiss or hug for his efforts so he starts doing it on purpose. That, combined with the fact that Jake doesn’t seem at all interested in the food, isn’t going to critique his knife skills, and simply seems to want to be in the same space he’s in makes him want him there in return.

                Now, it’s Sunday afternoon and Jake has gone to spend some time with his nieces and nephew at Bradley’s encouragement; already feeling bad at monopolizing so much of Jake’s time the last week. He looks at the pounds of tomatoes in front of him and rubs his hands before rolling up his sleeves. He has an idea, and it might be a complete bust, but he can’t not try. He’d sort of alluded to on Friday night, when Olivia had talked about Jake’s mild obsession with ketchup. Or mayonnaise, depending. Sometimes Jake will mix the two, but there is always ketchup and he wonders what it is exactly about it that Jake likes so much. He’s determined to find out. Then he’s going to make a version so good Jake won’t ever want store bought again. He’d noticed all their eyes on him while Jake had been putting the sauce on his plate and he’d just been amused. He is not a snob when it comes to food, but he might be something of a perfectionist.

                He roasts the tomatoes first, enough to split the skin and give them a little blistering and char because he wants that depth of flavor. Then he has to peel them, and they’re fucking hot but he works with a paring knife and one glove, working quickly. He’s also roasted some garlic bulbs whole, squeezes them out as he sautés some onion in butter. All the texture will be lost of course, he knows he’s going to have to strain it through the finest mesh he can get his hands on, and most of his personal cooking equipment went back with the crew, except for his knives. That’s fine, he’s learnt to improvise.

                He separates the sauce into four smaller pots, leaves one untouched and then ponders what he can do to each one to hopefully make them taste different enough that Jake will be able to tell and not just nod and smile and say they all taste great. Of course, he doesn’t have any liquid smoke on hand, but he definitely wants to try making one more smoky and tangy, like a barbecue sauce while still being close to ketchup for Jake’s liking. He adds more sugar to one, although he’s already wondering if he could use stewed apple for the sweetness instead. To another he adds some of the salsa verde and hums appreciatively when he tastes it, because that adds a kick and the flavors have had time to intensify in the best way possible. Okay. Plain, spicy, sweet and hopefully smoky. That covers enough bases for now and gives him a decent starting point. He’ll see if he can source some liquid smoke tomorrow when the shops are open.

…            …            …

                “I’m going to go for a run. All this food has been great but I can’t slack off otherwise I won’t pass the pre-flight checks…”

                “Can’t you go later?” Bradley grumbles.

                “Leo, babe, it’s summer in Texas. I don’t have a death wish. It’s now or never baby…”

                “Ugh. Wait for me. I’ll come with you. I’ve been slacking off.”

                “You mean you don’t come by this naturally?” Jake asks playfully, reaching over and giving his ass a slap.

                “Got to work to look this good.”

                “Mmm. Well, your body is a temple and I’m but a humble worshipper…”

                He can go for a run later.

…            …            …

                “Blind taste test…”

                “You’re blind folding me? Kinky.”

                “I want you to try something… several somethings actually.”

                Jake groans.

                “No, no… it’s just fries in sauce okay? Homemade ketchup. I want you to tell me which is your favorite out of these four.”

                “It really bugs you that I add sauce to everything I eat huh?”

                “No. Well. Yeah, maybe a little. But… I just want you eating my sauce.”

                Jake smirks and Bradley flushes as he realizes the double entendre that could be inferred.

                “Just try the fucking sauce you pervert.”

                “Oh, I’m sure I could be a lot more perverted…”

                “I’m sure you could too, it’s not a very high bar. Come on…”

…            …            …

                “I’m really sorry to do this, but can you look into Houston and Austin and San Antonio?”

                “Wow…”

                “Shut up.”

                “Oh no. I am just going to sit here and tell you I told you so. Bask in being right, because you know I am…”

                “Can you do some site visits?”

                “Not in the next couple of weeks, I’ll have to do some considerable research considering these are three entirely new locations we haven’t done any market research for.”

                “Yeah, I know… just. Tell me if it’s a really fucking bad move okay? From a business point of view that is.”

                “Oh, you know I won’t hold back. I take it from this request that things are going well?”

                “Yeah, yeah, mucca curiosa… how much detail do you want huh?”

                “None. You sound happy. Relaxed. It’s good. Keep it up. Or not.”

                “You’re so gross.”

                “Your mind went there too!”

…            …            …

                Jake likes all the different sauces. He truly does, and he can tell the difference fuck you very much Maria. They’re different enough that he wouldn’t mind having a bottle of each, because the smoky one goes really well with burgers and hotdogs, but the spicy one is best with the Mexican food for some reason, then the sweet one is his favorite to have with fries. But the original is best for putting on eggs at breakfast and god, he really needs to go for a run.

CHAPTER TWENTYTHREE