#and it's just eating him up inside
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#Final Fantasy XIV#FFXIV#Dawntrail spoilers#Erenvahl#Erenville#X'vahl Tia#wolship#This is the one I was talking about#when I said I was taking gpose shots in shifts#the amount of times I had to go back into this dungeon#because of maintenance or just the timer threatening to run down in the middle of posing#and then I decided I wasn't happy with several shots so I went back in to completely retake them#but it was for the best because I think this version is leagues better than the first takes#I feel like Erenville would be just so full of anxiety at this point#since he knows about his mom#and is struggling with coming to terms with that#and also he's upset with himself that he didn't tell X'vahl what was actually going on#since he sort of fell back on withdrawing himself to deal with his personal issues instead of bringing them up#and of course he's worried for all of them#He's just got *so much* on his mind at this moment#and it's just eating him up inside#I knew I wanted to do this part during my very first run through MSQ#*solely* because of Erenville's 'well done' after that boss#anyway X'vahl coming to terms with learning something about himself here too.#or rather continuing to learn and accept something about himself that he first learned during that bit with the escaped punutiy...#Erenville: *having a personal crisis* X'vahl: Yay he said I did good. :3c#Cahciua: Oh okay yeah he's got it bad for my son.
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My angsty brain: So… Callum’s Dad died of some kind lung condition, eh? Sure would be a shame if that was hereditary
#listen I don’t write the parallels between Callum and Viren okay#canon does#but ooof#imagine THAT one#Callum and Rayla’s kiddo sick and dying#of a condition Callum is pretty sure he passed on somehow?#it would eat him up inside ok#soooo much angst potential#ok#I’m going to step away from my keyboard now#tdp#the dragon prince#snake boi callum#tdp spoilers#callum#tdp callum#not tagging ‘rayllum’ coz we’re doing good#not going to bring us down right now#apart from Katolis being destroyed that is#otherwise good#ignore the last few seconds of canon from the rayllum perspective#so callum doens’t know and is just a happy boy#woo got my gf and her awkward semi-nake dad#who killed my dad#but I’m cool#cool cool coool cool coool cool cool#giveusthesaga
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SO I got the rdr2 mod that includes size change and UHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'M GOING ABSOLUTELY FERAL RN Max height I can get him to is 5x before i run into Extreme Difficulties and Glitchfest But DAMN if I don't love me some good perspective. I have more pics willing to share if this gains enough traction
(p.s. sorry for not amazing graphics I promise do the best with what little RAM I have :))
#g/t#giant/tiny#macro/micro#rdr2 g/t#*eats the drywall*#big arthur is best arthur#'theres a good man inside you but he's wrestling a giant' WELL MARY maybe just make HIM the giant#even the playing field.#I'm going to be thinking about this nonstop for the next 24 hours. GOD#once I get finished with a couple missions hopefully I can do interactions with the crime dads too#I spent four hours fucking around and taking pics. I have not slept any#THE FACT THAT THEY ACTUALLY LOOK UP AT YOU iwas not prepared for#now I've got a serious case of the LOOMIES#might queue some more later#i'll see if I can make this into more high quality images for you guys#no guarantees sadly
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HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! To this elderly bapy boye!!! he...!!!
#cats#ghhbbb this is the first time I've genuinely considered tumblr blazing a post lol but no.. i shant.. I feel too weird putting financial#information into tumblr or whatever unless I made like a seperate bank account or something not associated with anyhting else lol#but I gave it serious contemplation which is really sayng something (the evil magical spell that all cats cast over u by their perfection)#ANYWAY.................... old man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's technically like march 8th but I did his party a little early. I have other pictures to post later maybe too..hrmm#The '1' candle is actually a '4' candle with the side part cut off because they didn't have any 1s#I went all out (like under $15 still lol) and got new birthday decorations for him instead of using the same old#ones from the past like 5 birthdays that I've done for the cats lol..#His theme was rainbows mostly in as light of colors as I could find#The legal age to drive a car in the US is 16 so.... honk honk beep beep.. I shall go out and buy him the most expensive car on the market#as soon as March 8th comes. then he can run little errands (probably mostly getting kibbles or chicken somewhere)#stealing the rotisserie chickens from walmart or something lol#AND they would let him have them. He would drive up and walk inside and they'd call the manager to come over#and they would be so moved by his presence and his big goofy stare that they would just be like..... okey.. have all the chicken in the#entire store. Actually. have the store. it's yours now. And This would continue all the way up the chain until he was handed#the entire walmart company. And every other company. a boy who owns everything. probably wouldnt use it for evil. he'd just abolish#everything and then focus on eating chickens.. ........ chibken son...
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no 'cause tony and ziva both going to somalia on separate suicide missions but finding each other instead. surviving instead. reuniting and continuing to live afterwards. like what the hell. the look on ziva's face when tony said he thought she was dead and it completely recontextualized "couldn't live without you, i guess." after everything, everything, they still have each other's backs. he was ready to die avenging her and she was ready to die trying to save him and actually i'm screaming crying throwing up what the hell is wrong with this show why would it do this to me.
#ncis#tiva#im like aggressively eating tiny cookies and staring at a wall rn truth or consequences broke something inside my brain#and they framed it as sort of humorous in the narrative bc it was tony telling it but ur just gonna say he went numb and stopped caring#and gave up on living after finding out ziva was supposedly dead??? you want me to be NORMAL about that?#and the way he totally blamed himself for it too bc if not for him she wouldnt have gone back to mossad and been sent on that missionnnnn#SICK AND ILL!!!!
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Do you have any more ideas about the dead dove vampire!dickxtim au you wrote a while ago? It's lived in my head ever since and I'd love to know more.
first of all thank you so much that's so sweet! second of all, i have SO many ideas you have no idea. that fic ate at my brain for like a month before i found the time to write it so i had plenty of ideas i didn't fully explore. i'm adding a read more just bc. that was one of my more fucked up fics so i don't want to subject anyone to a necro kink jumpscare
so one of the big ideas i've thought about with that fic is Tim dealing with the aftermath of it, right. bc he's of course going to hide it from everyone. the Batfam all just neds to hold onto the hope that they can save Dick somehow, and knowing what Dick did would kill any lingering hope that there's anything left of Dick Grayson in the walking husk that he's become. so Tim has to deal with the worst of it alone, probably not even mentioning he ran into Dick.
the fun part tho is that above everything else, Tim wouldn't be able to let go of Dick's comment about fantasizing about Tim before being a vampire. Tim knows the comment was made just to get in his head, but that doesn't stop it from working. he spends hours pouring over old footage of him and Dick training, hanging out, on patrol, anything he can find. just to like. try to find evidence of Dick's gaze lingering. it eats Tim alive not knowing one way or the other if it was a lie. if it's true, at least it makes it easier for Tim to move on from the memory of Dick. but not knowing is worse. and he never finds anything that satiates the question so like. that'd destroy Tim the most. (the real answer is that Dick genuinely didn't feel attraction to Tim before being a vampire, *but* Dick is convinced he did bc being a vampire fucked him up so badly that he's become his own unreliable narrator. so it's both true and untrue, and in the end, it doesn't matter either way bc Tim is fucked up by the thought of it and even if they "fixed" Dick by curing him, i think Dick's romantic feelings would linger in the horror of what he did.)
i'm really just. in love with Dick's feelings toward Tim in the fic. the most difficult part of the fic was figuring out how to end it, bc sure as a sexual fantasy Dick is obsessed with killing Tim, but he's also deeply in love with Tim, so it's difficult to follow through on. Dick wants to make Tim a vampire more than anything, but he is genuinely worried about how well it'd take for Tim. the fic doesn't really go into who's on Dick's side as a vampire, but i personally believe he's turned most of the Titans. probably some of his own rogues as well, i could see him turning Slade. i can't explain why, those are just the vibes.
it is important to me just how much of Dick's feelings for Tim are based in him not wanting Tim to live under Bruce's thumb. like the whole vampire brain has convinced Dick that Bruce is somehow the villain in this, and it was Bruce's control keeping Dick from being the person he wanted to be. it's a very warped reality and if i continued the fic i'd love for the second part to be from Dick's perspective just to have fun with the unreliable narrator of it.
back to the porn tho. Dick would seek TIm out again. probably in Tim's own apartment, just bc he wants to destroy every safe space Tim has. getting into Tim's head is an important part of breaking TIm down. the fear of Tim fighting back against being a vampire is one that Dick is trying to figure out how to manage and his current plan is to break Tim mentally. it's why he brings up wanting to sleep with TIm before being a vampire. he *knows* it's gonna fuck up Tim. and the more he puts these little cracks in Tim's psyche, the more he's sure he's breaking Tim down enough to be able to turn him. so going to Tim's apartment and proving that at any point, Dick can easily find Tim and fuck him. always holding the threat of killing Tim over his head. and Dick knows Tim didn't tell anyone when days pass after their first meeting and no Bat comes after him so like. Dick really just pushes the limits. i think he would brand Tim just bc he can. i also got a comment on the fic that mentioned Dick stabbing Tim and fucking the wound and i canNOT get that image out of my head either-
and the necro/snuff kink just. Dick playing the long game, so it takes maybe months of stalking Tim, going after him. sometimes he fucks Tim, sometimes he just fights and taunts him. and all the talk about killing Tim fucks with Tim's head a little bit. i think it'd be fun if it killed Tim's ability to have vanilla/normal sex with someone else, like Kon. it's hard for Tim to understand anyone being attracted to him in a way that doesn't involve him being a dead body. i don't think he develops the kink fully, but he does end up convincing himself being a corpse is the only way he's attractive bc of all the things Dick has said to him. it all plays into Dick psychologically breaking Tim.
i am a lover of fucked up/unhappy endings so. for me. the ending would be Dick following through on his plan to kill Tim and turn him. it'd take months for Dick to work up the courage bc TIm was absolutely right when he pointed out that Dick was too scared to actually follow through on his fantasy. Dick tries, multiple times. he convinces himself no less than five times that this is going to be the one. this'll be the time he really does it. but just as Tim starts to die, Dick panics. i think it's especially fun if once Dick even gives Tim CPR bc of his cold feet. so Tim does "die" for a second and has to brutally come back while Dick is buried inside of him.
but when Dick does it, his fears manifest in that Tim does *not* take being a vampire well. he's constantly trying to kill himself (in the time it takes for Dick to break Tim, Tim probably does figure out what poison can kill a vampire) and Dick ends up having to keep Tim locked up so Tim doesn't kill himself. would truly love to try to write Tim as mentally shattered as possible. part of him loves Dick, but he's fighting himself so hard he's not even sure if it's the vampire side that loves Dick or the human side. he's kept like a human pet, bc Dick is convinced he'll get Tim to accept it sooner or later. just a very fun, very fucked up sort of ending. i say this about all the fics i write but this one specifically i do *really* want to continue someday. i know exactly the direction i'd take it, and it could turn into a pretty long fic with a lot of fucked up porn, a lot of unrequited love, and an eventual mind break for Tim.
#necrotic answerings#kindly praise#your dream turned into a nightmare when i crawled inside it#batcest#dicktim#dead dove do not eat#seriously this is a VERY dead dove if you have not read the fic be warned about reading this post lkjhklkh#shock of shock. the person with necrotic in their username. likes necro shit in fanfic.#i might explore necro kink in other ships#i've got a fucked up ra's/tim brainworm where ra's kills tim and brings him back to life with the pit. over and over.#waiting until he 'perfects' tim#(all while fucking him. obviously.)#anyway yeah i coudl easily turn this fic into like. at least 50k of fucked up shit.#which is funny bc when i wrote it i was SO nervous about posting it#i genuinely almost didn't post it. my partner can attest to this.#but i'm delighted it found it's niche.#necro freaks unite#i should mark this post mature. i will not.#you can tell i have a LOT of thoughts. i thought so much of this fic out that didn't actually end up in the text#some of it was just bc i couldn't include it from tim's pov#and some of it i did want to leave up to the reader#such as whether you believe dick had a crush on tim beforehand#in my head the answer is no but i think it's also fun if you believe he did#so i welcome that interpretation
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One of my absolute favorite “cliche” tropes is amnesia fics where reader has been dating character for years, but they forget and then they can only remember dating their ex. So it’s like they go back to the ex because it’s all they’ve ever known, and their current love has to cope with seeing the love of their life in the arms of another guy.
I could read that trope a million times over and never get bored or think it’s too repetitive.
#bonus points with him trying to help you remember but not wanting to like scare you or freak you out???#and even better for like Sanemi when there’s no phones or cameras to show text messages???#or photographs#and he REGRETS not writing you letters so badly then sigh#or like Bakugou not giving up but like caring about your welfare so much that he just kinda watches you with your ex?#cause he’s seen you in the hospital for weeks/months and knows how shit it’s been for you? how sad and lonely you’ve been#and he missed seeing you happy— even if this time it’s at the hands of another man#but he subtly leaves you gifts like your favourite flowers???#like maybe it sparks something inside you? because you tell everyone your favourite flowers are roses#but you find fresh tulips on your bedside table each morning after he visits? and it like grabs at something at the back of your mind???#or he brings you coffee and he’s somehow the only one that gets it right??? but it’s something you’d never order?#like you ask for oat milk but he brings it with coconut milk and it just tastes better? and you’re like I didn’t even know I liked this???#and your ex is just like ‘she likes oat milk’ like MATE NO WE DO NOT#I WILL EAT THIS UP WITH A SPOON AND WOLF IT DOWN YOU HAVE NO IDEA
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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it’s been some time, but i’m thinking about the apocalypse au again……. i’ve written about the gender inequality and the bride/husband selections and expectations shouldered in order to restore the population! but i also need to write more about the overblot virus itself and what it does to those who are infected. >:) because a certain few (compound leaders) may just be infected hehehe. <3
#meraki mumbles#body horror here we come!!!!!#the blot making it near-impossible for zuzu to hide his tako features so the spell is just slowly wearing off#and he can’t do anything about it#until eventually he’s unable to keep up a human form#and the blot is just eating him from the inside >_<#and soon you won’t be able to recognize him#and his mind is so muddled and one-track but maybe you’re the only one he faintly remembers so he’s just always calling out to you#and it’s horrifying because that’s no longer your azul#at least not the healthy and safe azul you know…#WAAAAA OTL OTL i must write about it for each compound leader asap!!!!!!!
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Sims 2 CC Mega Post
I say 'mega' but there really isn't a whole lot, I just didn't wanna split it up. Anyway, yeah, I mostly and normally and prefer to make Sims 4 stuff, but I made some Sims 2 stuff for me last year and this and I figured, may as well share it. Most of these require outside meshes so keep that in mind, Sims 2 CC downloading is a bloody nightmare.
Alex Skin
So I made a custom skin with tattoos for Alex as it seemed simple enough to do. Ain't gonna look perfect, but it looks fine from a distance, same resources I used for my Sims 4 versions, so I did vector the rose and skull. I based the skin off these default replacements. You don't NEED these, but they make it so that everyone matches. Yes that site requires an account and login, it's NSFW, it has body hair and works with nudity. Because obviously I play with mods like that. I made the skin look right for Fit/Thin/Fat but I didn't bother with any age but adult nor did I bother with female, because, idc. I THINK this is Alex's hair mesh, but idfk, I have so many that look like this.
It also works in Castaway Stories, as does all of these, because I used them in it too. :> That made Alex the palest guy on the island as all the skin tones in Castaway Stories were shifted to one tone darker per. I manually put my replacement skin in that too, but I didn't have the darkest, so no body hair to them.
Streaked Jack Hair
You need this mesh to make this work. I made this for myself as I didn't really like anything else I had for him, and this is Sims 2, so I went with earlier hair, and I liked how this mesh looked. Loosely based on like this hair. I didn't bother with other ages beyond adult again. I would have if I decided to de-age him and send him to university, but I did that with Otto instead.
Again also works in Castaway Stories, as I used it, again. It's easy to import Sim's faces from 2 into the stories games.
Awsten Tricolor Hair
Awsten Red Hair
You need this mesh to make this work. The bright green in that is also great and I used that for him at first. These are his eyes too, or rather his right eye. No screenshots of the red hair, but it's just a bright plain red in case you prefer it. I made this hair as it looked okay with the colors kind of being randomly spread around the mesh. This is his outfit btw. Again only works with adult as far as I'm aware.
BONER Shirt
R&R Shirt
NoRegRetsShirt
JALEXShirt
BMTHShirt1
BMTHShirt2
BMTHShirt3
BMTHShirt4
You need this mesh to make these work. All of these are Everyday fashion only by account of only the Everyday category having the option for separates and these are all tops. Don't ask me what pants I use, I have so many downloaded, but these work with all of them.
As it turns out I didn't take screenshots of all of these ingame, but maybe these help with that.
PTV Hoodie
DropDead Hoodie
You need this mesh for the PTV hoodie. I don't THINK the DD hoodie needs anything external, I compared it to a vanilla mesh and it seemed to line up. I don't know, I made it last December and I didn't log everything I did. Like the shirts above, Everyday category only as they are tops.
As a bonus, here's some misc Sims 2 screenshots to hit the image limit, including this stuff and with no context to my game. I know most people on modern computers play with The Ultimate Collection, but I installed it via discs, and a few ISOs as I didn't feel like spending $30+ for a few missing stuff packs on eBay. :) Pretty sure those ISOs are why my game is British and I have to always manually set the clock and a few other small things every time I load it. Not a big deal to me, just felt I'd mention for clarity. Castaway Stories is from an ISO too as have you SEEN those prices on eBay?! I have Sims 3 on Disc too, 100%, never made any CC for it tho. I love how Sims 2 was out at the peak of, ahem, mid to late 2000s culture so a lot of CC for it is of it's time in the best possible way. I kept this theme going with adding in custom music that ONLY existed from before 2009 (so 2008 is my cut-off date) and it's fun only hearing music of the era ingame. :) I DID make stuff for Sims 1 too years ago but I don't know how I even really did it so idk how to make more and also I don't care that much. I wanted to try playing with Alex and Jack in Sims 1 too but I kept getting fucked up files that didn't work or look right and I didn't know what I needed to do to make it right and I didn't wanna waste more time than I already did trying to make their faces. I do have semi-not ugly faces and outfits for a couple others tho.
Oh yeah, all this stuff is made in the Body Shop and GIMP for textures.
Whole SimFileShare Folder
#sims 2#sims 2 cc#ts2#ts2cc#sims 2 download#sims 2 cas#alex gaskarth#awsten knight#jack barakat#bring me the horizon#pierce the veil#Sims 2 is chaos and drama and no one attracts chaos and drama in my game like Alex and Jack do#Their house is a haven for enemies to come by and steal their newspaper knock over their trash can and pick fights#So the yard is often a biohazard of trash and inside isn't much better as both of them are slobs and Jack is lazy#Also they're engaged to each other despite both their aspirations hating commitment go figure#Jack did it I didn't they just somehow decided to accept despite getting negative memories for it lmao#Alex is a crybaby who's hard to satisfy and Jack just wants to make out and woohoo he's a lot easier#But they both have a lot of enemies who they fight a lot especially Jack as it feels like no one like pranks in this game#And I use him to attack Sims who are mean to Alex a lot too as Alex gets a lot of shit from townies for some reason#Awsten likes them as he likes to eat trash and also he's a werewolf and he just doesn't seem to care about much of anything#I had a case where Rian kept coming over and inviting himself in to make out and woohoo with Alex while beating up Jack#Now I got Jack and Rian to kinda get along but Rian is grumpy and it doesn't take much from Jack to set him off#Otto also hates Alex and likes Jack but again drama drama drama#I totally get why Sims 2 was really popular with middle aged moms in its heyday its like a soap opera#Geoff exists too as a werewolf as he wanted to be one and I just used him to turn Awsten as well#I brought Awsten and Geoff on vacation with Alex and Jack as I wanted to meet Bigfoot and have Jack flirt with him#But I needed mods to do that grrr#Also Alex got pregnant on that vacation but we don't have to talk about that it made him very difficult to work with#But he kind of already is a little bitch all the time anyway#sims castaway stories
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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Why is it that people accept that someone can be certain they want to end up in a relationship, yet they can not accept the idea that a person can be certain don't want a relationship?
#asexual#aromantic#ace spectrum#aromantism#queer#lgbt#lgbt+#aroace#im just late night thinking about how my brother is always like#/maybe one day youll realise u want a relationship and thats okay/#any time i mention even the slightest thing thats barely even connected to being aroace#yet if i had told him i was bi or gay he would never say any of that#why can people be certain they want a relationship yet others can not be certain they dont#its bullshit#and im just fucking tired#i understand the whole amatonormativity#i get how our society and media has impacted our way of thinking and acting#i just need to scream this into the void#or it would eat my up inside till the shells started cracking
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Tomnyan nibbling on a brick
please I need my two comforts
i won't question it man
#art#yokai watch#yokai watch 3#shitpost#tomnyan#ask#imagine tomnyan bringing the deliciousticks out and opens them up#and for some reason there's a brick inside#and to everyone's horror he starts eating it anyway#he has teeth of steel and he just doesn't care#it's in the delicioustick wrapper so it's good enough for him
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thought tumblr might enjoy this fresh home cooked meme i made of my para
(i know dysphoria isn't always about genitalia but shhh this is funny)
#martk#im gonna post this on insta too which is why i watermarked it but tumblr you can have it first. you're special#anyway cicero has made a Resurgence in my brain bc he makes fun of how i have to eat soft shit bc wisdom teeth post op#he is so mean to me. i love him. whwuuwuwhw#also PLEASE ignore how i cant draw skeletons just pretend it's bc cicero is really fucked up inside (he is anyway)#maladaptive daydreaming#madd#immersive daydreaming#cicero*
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stumbled across this old pre-s5 post and it got me thinking about the differences between Claudia/Terry and Callum/Rayla in S5 specifically in regards to the "let's save your parents" angle
Now some of this on the surface difference is because all Claudia cares about is keeping her father alive and saving him ("That's the only thing that matters - keep moving!") whereas Rayla routinely puts her family on the back burner ("But I can't help you yet" / "Not yet, Callum") but like
Terry and Callum each prioritize their partner's needs. For Terry, that means putting Claudia above Viren ("Everyone needs rest, especially you") and then on the same level (finding a way for her to rest and for them to keep moving at the same time). For Callum, it means prioritizing Rayla's parents and what she wants even when she's telling him not to (5x04) even though it leads to more disastrous consequences because he doesn't have an 'off' switch.
#icarus callum can be so personal to me#clauderry#rayllum#trees to meet you#s5#parallels#5x02#5x04#tag ramble#i also think it's like. terry killing ibis was awful for him#but it's not something that actually eats claudia up inside? like she would've done it without flinching#she feels bad that terry feels bad#whereas callum's lack of an off switch is like.#whether soren would've wanted claudia to heal him with dark magic has some wiggle room#on the one hand he seemed to be processing well and didn't ask for it#on the other hand he's thrilled when he can move again#callum saving rayla with dark magic in 2x07 or esp 5x08 doesn't have that wiggle room#bc she wouldn't want that. she would 100% rather die to spare him having to do it#and he knows that. and does it anyway#just like in 5x04 all over again#bc he's insane and i love him
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THINKING in the ascended astarion x reformed oath shri'iia (unsure abt that name will workshop it but she basically gets her oath back) route that she does not love him exactly. she's simply pouring her previous worship and reverence for lolth onto him, and he's now the subject of her devotion but it's not exactly love. she does not love him the same way oathbreaker shri'iia loves spawn astarion where it's something personal and selfless, and loving him is a choice she is actively making. in this route she thinks there is no other choice but to worship him and with lolth gone she wants to feel that devotion again since it's her safety net. she thinks that's all she's made for, and in a route where she reforms her oath and rejects pursuing self freedom i think that idea will get validated over and over at the course of her journey hence why she comes into that conclusion. and i think that's where the resentment starts too, considering how ascended astarion is so insecure of himself that he's basically overcompensating his whole existence. like the subject of his affection not actually loving him despite the fact that they're bound together by blood, and that he's giving her himself and the entire world if she wanted but that in itself is not enough because she doesn't know how to love in a way that he wants her to. she doesn't know how to love him in a genuine way because she's never known such a thing, and he would not know how to love her in a selfless manner either when the basis of their relationship as spawn and master stems from his own selfishness of wanting to keep her forever. but i do think they'll enjoy each other for some time like maybe for a good amount of centuries, but it'll inevitably go up in flames once he starts getting bored of her and the insecurity of the fact that she doesn't love him will eat him inside. for shri'iia's part, she wants him to stay the way he is forever (and for their relationship to stay the same) but the moment that he changes, or look for someone new will inevitably set her off because that's not what he promised her, and she can't lose her source of devotion again because she's nothing without it. there's no room for change or growth for the both of them bc of the circumstances of their relationship and their vampiric selves (how they're in a permanent stasis as immortal beings) reflects that too
#that crimson peak quote where lucille was like this love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out#it is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all <- ascended hag romance to me#honestly i want to do this route some time bc i think it is so interesting. shri'iia in particular. like she'd love it sm if she gets to be#devoted to someone for an eternity and a day. in a route where her character regresses thats what she thinks shes made for and nothing else#but i think astarion will inevitably want change. and he'd want someone else bc he's the vampire ascendant so u cant tell him shit!! but#then SHE wouldn't like that. and HE wouldnt listen to her - who is she to tell him what to do? she gets demoted from eternal love to just#first spawn. and now shri'iia is without someone to worship and it's like when she lost her oath the first time and she remembers how#painful and miserable that feels and she does NOT want to go through that again. so she starts scheming. and killing and eating his lovers#bc he cant have anyone besides her that's what he promised her 🥰 shri'iia becomes her obsessed deranged self again#love that for her!!!#shut up about bg3.
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