#and it's gone to make it easier
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you ever think about how edwin got like. no warning, no time time to process, nothing, when he reappeared on earth faced with the fact that virtually everyone he knew in life is dead. his parents? probably died in the 1950s or so (at best) almost forty years prior to edwin’s return. if any of his classmates were still around, they’d have been elderly, possibly senile, and in a few years they’d all be gone– except, of course, edwin. nothing looks the same, cars look like spaceships, there actually are spaceships, he can no longer see the stars, and everyone he knew is dead.
#he may be dead too but he’s certainly not gone. he’s a lingering relic. something lost to time#that’s some existential dread on an incomprehensible level#like. he meets charles quite soon after returning from hell and it’s implied he’s pretty much just been haunting that schoolhouse in that#time right. so I seriously doubt he’d have visited– let alone even Found– his parents’ graves. I wonder if he ever did that with charles.#maybe charles providing him enough emotional support to feel like he could handle it.#I know that he wasn’t close to his parents in life– nor was he close with anyone that we know of– and yeah I think that’d definitely make#things a bit easier in certain ways; he never felt like he belonged in his time/place in life or amongst his family or peers#so being displaced from all that wouldn’t feel like losing very much#in a way#but… I mean still#and he inevitably would have those lingering thoughts of what could’ve been–#yes he could’ve died in the war and his life likely wouldn’t be very fulfilling considering he’d probably be forced into a marriage he#wouldn’t want or if he was found out he could’ve been imprisoned and ostracized and disowned. plenty of ways his life could’ve been awful if#but also what if his parents loosened up a little as the times did? as in- what if he actually got to know them? what if they tried to#have a relationship with him of some sort eventually? it’s not impossible#it’d have to eat at him. that and wondering if either of them felt guilty#or felt a loss. or anything#hoo boy. fun stuff#edwin#edwin payne#rambling#dead boy detectives
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Family for day 6 of SpeSilverWeek! Edition uuh found biological and crime I guess...
#this was the first one I completed tbh and I'm not vibing but it was rly good warmup and tbh working lineless is so much easier...#I get lazier and messier concerning anatomy esp and stuff but I have fun...#spesilverweek#pokespe silver#pokespe blue#pokespe#my art#the thing about this is. I have so many thoughts about this one very specific rocket au where they aren't dex holders but find Giovanni#instead but he still goes missing and they still kind of hate team rocket bc the whole mask of ice thing still happened so they try to fuck#shit up from within now that giovanni is gone even though they also rly just kinda want him to return and deal with stuff himself#and the admins have these rly fun roles of all being in disagreement on what to do#like the boss might be dead his kids should take over or we Must find the boss or lol no boss my team rocket now#and then the dex holders get mixed in too and it's Fun bc everyone is fighting everyone#also sorry Giovanni for making you look like that#it's like 5min til day 6 technically but my laptop is being a butt so in case it won't turn on tomorrow here it is now#I will not wait 5min for midnight I got a new pillow for christmas and I wanna SLeep on it noW! hell yeah !!#pokemon
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soapghost circus au
ghost’s an extreme motorcycle stunt performer - globe of death, riding on his back wheel along tightropes, that sort of thing
soap’s a fire breather/dancer. he’s a roaming performer; he just finds empty spaces or bored people and starts twirling
he pretends not to notice the way he always wanders towards a certain tent every night to watch a certain masked daredevil defy gravity. he thinks he's slick and that ghost won't notice him in the crowd, completely forgetting that he's carrying something that happens to be on fire
ghost couldn't miss him if he tried
one day off, soap's trialing fire whips; he loves the loud crack and the way the flame licks through the air and maybe he's a little too impatient to practice with non flaming whips first, even though he's never used one before
he's covered in soot and fine welts where the tip of the whip keeps flicking back up at him, cutting through his shirt and stinging his skin but he doesn't let that stop him. it starts to stick to him, damp with sweat and blood and he's quick to strip it off; throwing it to the side to keep practicing
when soap finally gets a few good cracks in a row and breaks to celebrate, he almost jumps out of his skin when he sees the masked rider leaning against a trailer watching him
of all the times he's wanted ghost to talk to him, this is not one of them
he wanted to impress him, dance for him with his flaming batons and be mesmerised by his fluidity and skill
not catch him filthy and struggling with something as basic as a whip
he's ready for ghost to ream him out for not having control over the whip - he's known throughout the circuit for expecting utter perfection in his routines - but when ghost finally does speak, it's only to ask if he's done for the day
soap falters for a moment. he wanted to get some consistency with the whip before he stopped, but he's starting to feel the hours of practice; muscles aching and skin blistered with minor burns
he says he is and ghost pushes off the trailer, nodding his head to make soap follow. he brings him back to his trailer and tells him to clean up then takes out his personal med kit to treat the grazes on soap's skin
soap's shocked; for all that he loves to watch ghost perform, they've never really talked before
part of why he joined the circus was so he wouldn't be a burden on anyone, the oldest in a family with too many mouths to feed and not even time to nurture, and here he is taking up ghost's valuable practice time bc he wasn't good enough to handle his own discipline. he tries to brush him off, downplaying the burns and tries to leave before half them can be treated but ghost just glares and orders him to sit back down
ghost does expect perfection from himself but it isn’t out of any malice or ego; it's bc he knows if he isn't perfect, he could very easily die. he’s picked a dangerous profession and he gives it the respect it deserves. there isn't any shame in being a novice or failing at something; he thinks there's a lot of beauty in having the courage to get back up again and again
so every day he watches soap practice and bullies him into his trailer to put him back together bc he knows he won't do it by himself
and every night soap wanders over to ghost's section of the fair grounds, in awe of his skill and wishing he could be worthy of the care he gives him
#have i posted this before? yes but it has an actual idea behind it now#anyway back on my ‘soap pushes himself too hard to meet expectations only he is holding him to’ bullshit#price is obviously the ring master and id say gaz is probably trapeze#ghost used to work for robas circus who kept pushing him to do more and more dangerous stunts with less and less safety measures in place#and for a long time he thought thats how it was supposed to be#he was supposed to court death every night. supposed to limp back to his trailer and take care of his own injuries#and its only when price comes to one of his shows to scope out roba as competition and confronts him afterwards abt the conditions#that he realises something might be wrong#so seeing his past staring back at him in the form of soap hurts something deep within him and he has to make it right#he doesnt want soap to have to live with the same deep pains that he does#injuries that couldve been avoided if hed just gone easier on himself#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#save post
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💒 pt. 2
prev | next
#I've never really gone over how'd they make up and tbh I think kiryu would be very content to just move on#not because it wouldn't bother him at all but it's just easier that way#especially if he thought nishiki had died at first and wouldn't wanna lose him again by dwelling on it#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#kiryu kazuma#nishikiyama akira#my art
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Homelander x Reader tampons?
Homelander is a child, you decide. He'd discovered a tampon poking out of your purse and plucked it out while you were otherwise engaged with your phone. Then for some ungodly reason he'd pulled it free of the wrapping and popped the absorbent core free of the applicator, letting it dangle by its string as he glances your way with raised brows. It wasn't as if Homelander didn't know you're currently on your period. Why in the world would he do that? The look you give him is incredulous. "Those are expensive. You're buying me a whole new box." "Don't get your panties in a twist, doll." He smirks back.
#/slow blink#anon I just want to talk#this could have gone so many ways#anon what direction were you hoping#anon I just wanna-#I mean I did ask for specifics and here we are#this is not how one baits me into writing smut#but fluff I can do#Homelander x AFAB Reader#anon ask#ask#drabble#canon x you#homelander#homelander x reader#homelander writing#woo boy I do have a lot of tags#but it makes finding MY OWN SHIT easier
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ok, enough wholesome dadson. time to sexualize terrible fathers. (cw for: dadson incest + FtM son POV + transphobia / misgendering / fetishizing / forcemasc)
transphobic dad: doesn't approve of you transitioning or taking T, but isn't stopping you and doesn't seem turned off by the changes, even after you pass consistently as a man. doesn't know how T even works, always lowkey curious about the changes. he does like that you're so much hornier on T and don't even have periods anymore. tugs at your facial hair (ow? wtf :/) and goes "huh? it's real? I thought you drew it on every morning!" with a hearty laugh. dad joke? he might have actually thought so. backhanded praise, mean jokes at your expense, and moments where he genders you correctly, by accident.
thought you would eventually change your mind and give up transitioning "when you realise that being a man is hard," as if he's not the one making it hard. he might actually think of you as a son at some point, but he was never taught to apologize, he's "always right," he's stubborn, so he will keep calling you a daughter because a father can't show weakness. wants to call you homophobic slurs sooo bad, but that would be admitting defeat.
gets angry when you bring up surgery bc he likes to squeeze your tits and fuck your pussy. won't do any anal because it's gay. and clearly, he's isn't, he says. definitely closeted.
trans boy chaser dad: for better or for worse, only took an interest in your life when he found out you're a trans guy, fixed his relationship with you by treating you more like a date than as his son.
excited, touchy-feely, even creepy. eager to please. just pathetically horny for the way your body's changing from T - he won't misgender you. you get aggressively reaffirmed to the point of it getting annoyingly patronizing actually. regardless, he fucks you hard, encouraging you to moan with your cracking voice, and is too horny to feel bad about the incest. it's a welcome change from the previous emotional distance, but you feel used, like he's taking advantage of your newly high libido.
fixated on your body and everything "clockable," would rather you didn't get any surgery... says you're already perfect as is, from just testosterone... it does feel nice that he takes some sort of pride in having a son now, fully embracing you, the way he finds even all the awkward changes (sparse facial hair, voice cracks etc) not just endearing, not just attractive, but really fucking hot. and it's a relief for your body which craves that release. but. dad might just completely lose interest a few years into T, if you pass consistently.
bisexual, he says. but of course not into cis men.
transmed dad: thinks he knows what's best for your body, forcemascs you in his own ideals, pushing you to work hard to speed up your transition, to become a "real" man. you were so happy that dad accepted you being a trans guy so wholeheartedly and proudly, but the acceptance seems to have turned into overbearing surveillance...
dad insists on doing your T injections himself, because he doesn't trust that you'll actually do them. "no son of mine will be a fucking embarrassing softboy pansy who never transitions for real, have some dignity, god damn it! either you transition fully or you don't transition at all!" ...he pushes you to consider top and bottom surgery asap, to become a "real man," regardless of what you might want. he very excitedly looks forward to the day you can top him with your real cock, like a son should. :)
he makes you like anal because that's how real men do it. you're absolutely not allowed to derive any pleasure from anywhere but your ass and T-dick, and the phantom sensation of a strapon. he's good at working your T-dick though, it's all almost worth it just for that...
love, validation, and praise only when you've "earned it." if you fail to live up to his strict expectations, the things he says fucking hurt. misgenders you as punishment and threatens to withhold your testosterone "since you want to stay a girl so bad."
......
so, all of these options leave you feeling unsatisfied and degraded in one way or another!! yippee! no, there's no option for a Normal About Trans Men And Masculinity Dad, this is the Terrible Fathers dadson poll. you must choose.
#dadson#dadcest#forcemasc#shipcest#cw for cringe kinks 😔#transphobia kink#ftm misgendering#toxic forcemasc#transmed kink#fauxcest#poll#can't decide if it's more fun for transmed dad to be cis or trans himself#cis transmed dad is like ''let a real man show you how it's done'' and tries to make you as close to a cis man as possible#trans transmed dad is more like ''I've gone through this. I know exactly what you need. I'll make it easier for you.''#I like inventing dads who kinda suck#boomer old men often hold terrible opinions and refuse to change#writing#transphobic dad#chaser dad#transmed dad#truscum dad#wanted to go all in on the personality and characteristics rather than physical attributes but um. duh. they're hot and exactly your type#for me? chubby-muscular with thick eyebrows and dark hair that's going silver. all over. feels comforting to the touch#even if they are anything BUT comforting#jerk. creep. cruel.#yea transphobic dad could be more violent but im not personally into physical violence or forcfem. just casual unceasing disrespect#although there IS nothing more manly than getting into a yelling match and then a physical scuffle with your shitty dad. rite of passage#long post#fic
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honestly happily surprised; I ran for 20mins straight ! I think that’s the longest continous stretch I’ve ran as an adult ever !! Like usually my warm up is 10mins straight so that was a double today!
#I think I could’ve gone longer but it’s leg day so didn’t wanna push it too far bc then the rest of the workout would suck#it was on the treadmill tho yeah so obv a lot easier than running outside#but still was nice#maybe being a little scared for ur safety truly is the best preworkout lmao#(I walked to the gym at around 4am & some (drunk) dude ahead of me kept stopping & turning to look at me and wait but I switched#to the other side of the street and I don’t think he noticed bc on the next time he turned he kept looking around like confused (dude was#out of it) so it was all good just a little bit like do I turn around or keep going situation)#(bc he might’ve just been on other things & paranoid tbh)#anyways not a big deal the point was that I got some adrenaline and boii did that make the running so easy#maybe I should always listen to some idk horror things before/while running#maybe that ’’zombies run’’ app was onto something#march 2024#2024
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i feel like it's pretty safe to assume the people who say Chaggie is toxic because of Vaggie's attachment to Charlie haven't really been deeply in love before, especially not in a situation where their partner literally saved their life.
Sure a dynamic like that could go sour if you become too overbearing/demanding or controlling out of fear of losing them, but Vaggie is very obviously not that?
I can't exactly put the feeling into words, it's sort of a situation you have to experience in order to understand. But when you owe someone your life, especially when it feels that person is also your soulmate, of course you dedicate the rest of it to making them happy and giving unyielding support. Of course you feel like you owe them the world, because they're your whole world and the only reason you're even still here.
Yes it can create a power imbalance and your partner could take advantage of the obsessive loyalty that level of dependency breeds, but Charlie chooses not to because shes not abusive and she respects and loves vaggie.
Charlie recognizes that Vaggie has self worth issues and places her value in how useful she is to her, and instead of making it into a toxic situation charlie takes the time to reassure vaggie that she doesn't need to be 'proving' herself and that she is loved and valued as she is.
#Idk chaggies dynamic mirrors me and my fiance of 10+ yrs so I'm biased and will b blocking ppl that say dumb shit probably lol#Yes it can become toxic very easily if either party chooses to make it that way but if you truly love your partner you simply#Don't? Take advantage of them?? And both parties of chaggie very clearly respect and love eachother.#And as time goes on it'll be easier for Vaggie to believe her worth outside of her relationship and accept herself#idk I see some of the discourse abt this and it's like. /SO/ clear you guys don't get it.#And that's fine bc it's really not something you can truly get if you haven't gone through it yourself#But idk how you can say with your whole chest that either Vaggie or Charlie are taking advantage of eachother#Tumblr is all for supporting ppl that are struggling until it comes down to people who actually heavily depend on that support
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volo feeling genuine sympathy for others but feeling the need to deny it and bury it in layers of protective coping mechanisms is like my favorite flavor of characterization for him. on the outside he’s super nice! for about three layers underneath that he’s like hehe i’m so evil 😈 i’m playing this poor sucker for a fool 😈😈 business as usual. and then the final layer at his core is like man this poor kid needs help. man these people seem genuinely happy and close. i can barely comprehend that. wait oops i almost let myself feel an emotion uh back to the evil. his exterior veneer isn’t entirely a veneer- it’s see-through in a couple places. some of them show the evil beneath but some of them show the genuine human deep beneath
YEAH YEAH YEAHHH THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. its a special kind of tragic that volo could have the life he wants now because he's around people that aren't terrible, but he just cannot see that, or refuses to because he's scared of betrayal happening again. if he was just genuine in what he does instead of justifying it with using people before they use him, he'd be fine. but no, he's gotta self-sabotage himself at every turn
#clai speaks#asks#he's all ''i dont care!'' but since he's trying so hard to make this new world where everything will be kinder to him--#--doesn't that Mean he cares? he wants to be happy but he just can't see himself being happy in this situation#like compared to cyrus who kinda just. gave up and wants emotions gone entirely so he doesn't have to feel how he feels ever again#volo wants things to be better but there are easier ways to do it that he just REFUSES TO DO
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I appreciate the dedication the writers of Adolescence of Utena had to still include Juris gay pining no matter what. Like yeah, we’re gonna have this insane story where Utena turns into a car, and we’re going to condense the entire plot of rgu into a borderline completely different story, but we absolutely cannot forget to include Juri and her crush on her friend who hates her. That’s what needs to be in this movie, no question we cannot change this part at all.
#like everything is differnt and then Juri is over there still stuck in pining hell for a straight girl#don’t worry girl your crush turning into a car and exploding might make it easier for you to get over her#just go hunt down utena and anthy and by the time you find them you’ll have gone through the 6 stages of grief and be good to go#revolutionary girl utena#juri arisugawa#rgu#adolescence of utena#I think Utena should have still beat Utena for funsies but to be fair Juri was hardcore trashtalking she kinda deserved that
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I hold so much love to the people for whom trauma has seeped away their perspective of time - warping and distorting it to where one can't feel time passing. Everything is moving simultaneously too slow and too fast - everything is a blur, and the only constant is the Trauma/s or trauma/s. You aren't just "you" anymore, but you are you and your trauma, and together, for better or worse, you walk as one.
I hope you are well, dear reader. May you find peace between yourself and the things that have happened. May you be permitted to feel everything you feel, for nothing is wrong with how you feel. I hope you grant yourself the space to be, that you may be able to do that because it's hard.
#mental health#mental health support#trauma#trauma tw#reflecting on some trauma feels right now#i feel it most accurate to say that i am not me but i am me and my traumatized self. it makes it easier to visualize#because i was too young to have gone through what i had and it just reminds me that it wasn't My Fault#so that last part in the first paragraph was kind of me recognizing that for the first time truly actually
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Something something S4 shows through Nancy how someone can be pressured into a relationship by well meaning people, how easy it is to project your significant other onto someone familiar when they're gone, something something Nancy only started giving Steve eyes during situations he reminded her of key moments in her relationship with Jonathan, how you could see all over her face that she was going to reject him, how the audiences emotions are lined up with Steve and not her and the fact that Steve wants a girlfriend so badly means the audience wants him to have a girlfriend too bc he deserves it ! He's grown so he can do better this time ! She CAN love him ! Look ! The people who just officially met them this week think they're true love ! But Nancy is in love with Jonathan. But Steve wants a white picket fence life at the end of a cul-de-sac with 6 children, which Nancy said herself is like her worst nightmare. But Steve was never the problem in their relationship. Nancy didn't love him. Nancy is not a prize. He doesn't deserve her for changing. And the people trying to matchmake them DO NOT KNOW BOTH PARTIES WELL. Robin JUST officially started talking to Nancy, all she really has to go off of is whatever Steve has told her and EDDIE met BOTH OF THEM officially like three days ago. All he knows is their reputations really, and that "act of true love" was entirely typical of Nancy's character and she would've done it for just about anyone she cares about, he doesn't know that though because he doesn't know her. And she ended the season in her bf's arms setting up their conflict in s5 while Steve ended the season alone but with his friends.
#ok draft go off#im actually reluctant to post this just bc now I'll only have 68 drafts#this post is about byler. plot twist !#i fear i have no more words. this doesnt usually happen to me#i am SO tired tho so cut me some slack i swear the next time i randomly post smthn the tags will go crazy 🤞 campers honor#stranger things#byler#jancy#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#steve harrington#will byers#mike wheeler#✋️🙄 pls#ok its the next day and i can think again. this post is abt byler. djbsbd#in the sense that mike was pressured into a relationship by well meaning people who thought they liked each other-#and el was so similar to will that it was easy to project him onto her and when he thought she was gone his relationship w will developed#and when SHE came back he started to recreate what he had with will with her to make it easier to be w her in general#and as she is becoming her own person with her own wants and needs- their relationship suffers for it#also 'you could see it all over their faces' ily speech and he ended the season with will setting up their plot in s5#and el ended it alone (with her family)
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Jazz's little. Her parents are super cool. They're ghost hunters! It sounds like something from a movie about future and scientists and supernatural beings and cool-looking tech. They have cool-looking tech at home. It's even cooler than tech in the movies.
Jazz also has a little brother. He's stupid but he's hers, and she will protect him from anything. Her brother is very small, he needs someone to protect him and teach him about the world.
She knows about the world. She understands their parents much better than him, and she can tell her brother when they shouldn't be distracted. She knows when they're upset and irritable, and she knows when they're too excited and being near them is dangerous because of all the inventions.
Jazz does a very good job keeping her little brother safe.
---
Jazz goes to school. Her teachers say that she's very smart, the best student in class, and very mature. Her parents are proud of her - when she manages to distract them from ghosts. Her brother is still kinda stupid and doesn't know how to properly fight food, but she's always there to protect him, because that's what older sisters do.
Her classmates seem to think that she's weird though. Some of them say mean things and call her a teacher's pet and a show-off. Jazz isn't sure why they think so because she's always trying to be friendly but maybe she's doing something wrong. She goes to the school library and finds a book about people and their communication.
It's a very interesting book.
---
Jazz is almost a teen. She's gotten better at communicating with people. The school library ran out of psychology books, and Jazz now has to go to the city library but that's fine. Human brain fascinates her.
She's been feeling like something is wrong about her though. She even thought that she was going crazy for a little bit. That probably wasn't true because she didn't match any symptoms but she was still worried.
Someone told her that being so good at lying and faking face expressions is not okay. That's probably not true, Jazz is pretty sure almost everyone can do that. Or maybe she's just being a prodigy again. It's a very good thing to be able to do after all. She can hide her emotions from her family when she's feeling sad. She wouldn't want to worry them, would she?
She'll have to research it.
---
Jazz is a teen. She now knows that her parents aren't actually that good. It's something that was really hard to accept but it did explain everything. Her parents are kinda bad at being parents, and they also don't really listen when she tries to explain it to them.
It's okay. She's almost an adult and Danny has her. She can take care of herself and her brother.
She learns everything she can about being a parent and a therapist and tries to use her knowledge. It's hard, but she's a Fenton, which means that she's very smart and determined. She pushes through, and trains on her classmates and herself.
In the evening she writes about her feelings in a journal. It's very important to be aware of her feelings because that's the first step to dealing with them.
She's experiencing sadness. And anger, actually, even though she doesn't like to admit that.
She writes "this family is a fucking mess" in her journal and then covers the paper with ink until the sentence is absolutely unreadable.
---
Jazz is sixteen, and her stupid parents opened the stupid portal, which means that they're even worse than usual. It's pretty much okay when they're just stuck in their stupid lab, making some stupid weapons. It's not that okay when they're out of the stupid lab, because they get their stupid inventions all over the stupid house, and stupid food comes to life, and she has to protect Danny from both their stupid weapons and stupid hotdogs, and oh god everything is so stupid.
She's experiencing anger.
She's also acting perfectly calm and almost cheerfully.
Jazz hates how perfect her fake smile is in the mirror.
---
Jazz is seventeen. She wants to put her headphones on and listen to some loud music. Jazz can't do that, because she gets anxious if she can't hear what's happening around her. She needs to be fully aware of her surroundings because she needs to be able to protect herself and her brother if weapons against ghosts become weapons against children again.
She thinks that it's not okay.
The house smells of ectoplasm, so she'll be extra careful when opening the fridge.
She thinks that she shouldn't know how ectoplasm smells.
Jazz should probably also warn Danny: her little brother's gotten better at fighting food but doesn't notice the smell of ectoplasm. Funny, considering his ghost sense.
Funny, considering that her brother is a half-ghost.
That her brother died.
That she failed at protecting him after all.
Jazz stops breathing to prevent herself from crying, and doesn't need oxygen for a few minutes too long.
Maybe she failed at protecting herself too.
---
Jazz is turning eighteen next month. Her parents are all of a sudden more attentive and caring, as if that can change their almost-absence during her whole life. She doesn't like their attention because she doesn't know how to deal with it. She doesn't even really think of them as parents anymore.
She thinks of them as a threat.
Once she's eighteen, she's gonna try to move out, and she's going to take Danny with her because it's not safe to leave him here. Maybe after she gets a good job and saves some money, she'll even get into therapy.
Jazz thinks that she needs therapy.
She's been having Bad Thoughts lately, and she doesn't write them down in her journal. Jazz stopped writing anything in there ever since she found out that Danny is a ghost. She just couldn't risk anyone finding that journal.
Jazz isn't sure if she should call those Bad Thoughts intrusive. They scare her, and they're Bad, but it could be just her normal thought process.
It's still definitely not normal.
---
Jazz is eighteen. Her parents are very excited, whispering to each other about how they found a perfect present for her, some surprise that she's gonna love.
She doesn't care.
Her little brother is late from school, and it's weird, because he was also super excited about giving her his present.
She's worried.
Her parents brush off her concern, say that Danny probably just got distracted talking with his friends. They don't listen when she says that Danny wouldn't get distracted like that on her birthday because he's not them, he actually cares about her, he doesn't forget her birthdays, and something has to be wrong for him to be that late.
They don't listen to her at all.
She's angry.
Her parents are excited and talk loudly about how they wanted to find a perfect gift for their favourite daughter, and how they managed to do it because they love her so much. She hates when they're excited. It only leads to problems.
They bring her to the lab because of course they do, why would they make a gift that is normal and isn't kept in the lab, right? They usher her in, so obviously proud of themselves.
She hates them.
And she hates them much, much more the next second, because the gift is her little brother in his ghost form, strapped to a table, unconscious and injured, and the smell of ectoplasm is strong in the lab because of his green blood dripping on the floor.
There's a cold part of her that analyses her feelings and tells her what emotions she's experiencing, and that part is very aware of thick black smoke of wrath twirling and twisting under her skin. It's suffocating, and she stops breathing as it invisibly fills her lungs, scared of letting it out.
There's a perfectly fake part of her that keeps the smile on her face as her parents gush about how hard it was to catch the ecto-scum, and what they can do to it - together with Jazz because they wanted to share this with their amazing daughter.
Jazz is black smoke of rage under perfect glass of calmness when she grabs Fenton anti-creep stick. The smile she learned to fake under any circumstances doesn't falter when Jazz brings the baseball bat down on her father's head. It grows a little bit wider when she hits her mother, because Jazz learned to smile brighter when she's hurt or sad or scared or angry - experiencing any "bad" emotion actually.
Jazz is angry when she grabs her weapon.
Jazz is furious when she kills her parents.
Jazz is worried when she checks her brother's wounds.
Jazz feels nothing when she rigs the portal to blow, walks out of the house and presses the button.
She is her parents' genius daughter after all, and she did listen when they were telling her about their inventions. Maybe it would have taken longer to do, but she had Bad Thoughts, and they probably weren't just intrusive after all, because she did what they told her and made it very easy to make a bomb out of a portal. Just in case. Her parents were a threat, and Jazz was smart enough to prepare to dealing with threats, and she was smart enough to make it look like the threats dealt with themselves.
She really hoped she wouldn't have to use that button though.
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Jazz is nineteen. Her sort-of-friends at uni offer to go to a restaurant, and she tells them that she doesn't celebrate her birthdays. There's a noise of all of them saying that maybe she should try, noise that she really should have expected, because humans are always so excited about any holidays, it's hard for them to understand that someone might not like them. It's not hard to stop that noise though. They shut up very quickly when Jazz says that she had "a very traumatic event" on her birthday.
Good. She doesn't like loud people.
Jazz goes home to her little brother. He's sad because his parents died in an awful explosion a year ago. He's still trying to smile because it's also her birthday, and Jazz is very happy that he's bad at faking a smile.
It means that he won't end up like her.
Jazz hugs her little brother, and he gives her a little present that she adores, and then they sit in silence and eat some takeout. It's very nice.
She never tells Danny that their parents died before the explosion, and that the explosion wasn't an accident, and that their ghosts did form after that because of all the ecto-contamination they had, but she made sure this wouldn't become a problem. She never tells him what she's done, because that would hurt her little brother, and she would never let anything hurt him.
Jazz will protect her little brother from anything.
#I was feeling kinda upset yesterday#and decided to make it everyone's problem#this just clawed its way out and why not put it on tumblr#it's not like many people will see it#I love when a mix of “bad parents” AU with “protective Jazz” AU turns into “Jazz kills her parents” AU#I've seen a few stories with this twist and apparently it wasn't enough for my brain#Jazz deserves to go a little crazy#also yes Jazz is liminal here because of the ecto-contamination#and she found where the ghosts of Fentons were starting to form and destroyed them#killed them twice#double double kill#protective murderous Jazz my love#make her brother upset and she will make sure you're gone *forever*#if it's not clear: the “Bad Thoughts” was her thinking “maybe I should kill my parents before they kill my brother”#and then she went and did something with the portal so that it would be one added detail and a press of a button away from exploding#in case she needs to run away from home with Danny and kill their parents#she didn't know if she would be able to kill them with her hands and not from away because it's hard both physically and psychologically#but she couldn't risk them doing something to Danny#and it was easier than she thought it would be#I've been thinking a lot about how Jazz could get interested in psychology because of her own problems#and how she definitely hides her emotions#if you see any mistakes please tell me because this is also kinda my way of learning English better#danny phantom#tw: murder#tw: death#tw: neglect#this is my first time doing this so please tell me what warnings I forgot and I will add them
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for no reason at aaaaall, cutest attribute a doll can have/thing a doll can do?
—🧷/(≧ ᆺ ≦)\
Sorry for the long delay:
As usual it depends amongst us and sometimes with our mood but, general we work the most often with combat dolls, but dolls in general that eagerness for tasks or to be helpful or supportive are all very adorable. Director: my favorite attribute comes a lot from combat dolls and my personal doll who's a medical research doll, the quiet devotion to their purpose and their task, and the often fanatically way they carry out their orders from their wielder are very endearing to me.
Engineer: Shes a fan of the kinda curious energy some dolls tend to have, she likes dolls who know thier place but are a bit friendlier then they probably should be for example.
Dollmaker: well this ones complicated, because his favorite things in a doll tend to come from before their a doll, there things he likes in a potential doll. He likes his dolls to make him work for it a bit, then he finds it adorable when they love being customized or updated after.
#dollposting#living dolls#staff speaks#the institute's research#doll making#combat dolls#the institute's director#combat dollposting#empty spaces#the doll staff answers#i could bully you a bit and say the most adorable thing a doll can do it come off anon#if im every gone for a while you can nudge me in dms#worst case i send you over to engineers blog who has easier access to communication
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hot take someone should slap nureyev. actually just whack him over the head. probably rita.
also someone shoudl blast loser, baby from hazbin hotel into his ears i think it would put some things into perspective for him
#in all seriousness i know he's going thru it#i'm not trying to make light of what he's gone through please don't come at me#but i feel like a huge part of the next episode is going to be him having to realise that like.#he's not special#tons of people have been conned just like him#perhaps even... sixteen tons— *gunshot*#his life would just be a whole lot easier if he stopped being all “woe is me”#and let his girlfriend fucking help him out for once#tpp#peter nureyev#the penumbra podcast
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Man y'all I am desperately restless and too sad & braindead to do anything but I KNOW I NEED TO but also I cannot and am sitting very unhappily on the couch not even managing to read or watch something or crochet or listen to anything just
nothing is possible & everything is terrible
#hyperbolic bad mood whee#jilly spam#I hate it so much#when the ability to can is this far gone#it does not help#that puppy!gizmo hurt himself#and I had to take him to the vet#like he will be fine!#but I feel very much like I fucked up#and now there are things I could do#to feel better and make tomorrow easier#and yet#I am not doing them
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