#and it's coming to a head once again
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#stress and anxiety is so intense right now#all i want to do is lay under a really heavy blanket and cry until my head is pounding#communicating is really tough for me and has only gotten worse over the years#and it's coming to a head once again#and i need to find another job and figure out my life bc i can't survive like this but i just don't know how. and i'm terrified#i don't want to be pigeonholed into or get stuck at a place like where i was for the last five years#i don't know what to do. i'm scared. i need help and guidance but i have no goddamn idea where to begin.#i look at other people and think about how i should have something established and some sort of success but i have zero#it's a lot and i'm really scared.
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it was always there, fill up the void with space
print available
#self indulgent jim once again#based on a fic that's been aching to come out of my head#my art#art#star trek#jim kirk#star trek aos#fanart#digital drawing#digital art#aos#space#void
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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from what I infer from some of his dialogue, my guess is that while lucanis hasn't had a proper relationship before he has had one night stands and short term flings. and -- listen, I know he's a dick and a menace and probably a hopeless case but please do still spare illario dellamorte a moment of your thoughts and pity for the role of incredulous yet intrepid wing man that he's all but certainly had to play on several occasions for that to happen. there are 100% people out there who were trying SO fucking hard to get no strings attached laid by this stupidly hot emotionally unavailable mysterious stranger who won't be in town for long without lucanis ever realizing it. people who would have remained tragically unlaid if illario weren't there to clue him in.
I'm just imagining Illario staring in pure dismay and disbelief at his dumbass of a cousin failing to pick up what someone isn't just putting down but scattering all over the floor like glittery confetti burning with a magnesium flame brightness to spell out 'SIR PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RAIL ME THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ENTHUSIASTIC INVITATION TO MY BED' and having to push him out the door after them like 'maker's breath sometimes i don't understand how you have the wits to grip the right end of a knife, lucanis, they were throwing themselves at you and you just stared at them in mild puzzlement until they gave up and went away go fucking GET THEM for the sake of my sanity if nothing else!!!'
#'oh was THAT what that was' lucanis realizes as illario all but throws him onto the person's lap and walks away shaking his head#once he was actually there and the stiuation and what's expected of him were understood I think he'd do wonderfully!#but provably he uh. takes some clueing in at times#illario 'cousin one day you will have fun even if it kills me' dellamorte (dramatic irony edition)#tfw your cousin-brother is SO hot. and so autistic.#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#every day I think about 'get that man to stop yelling at me'. illario snooze that guy for me please. their *Dynamic*.#i finished murder of crows last night and the way lucanis' 'not. now' is so out of proportion to what's actually happened.#he sounds mildly annoyed. like illario blunted one of his knives or something instead of shredded his soul. this family is. something#we never get how much of illario's 'that isn't even my cousin that's a demon' shit is real beneath the. general scarness of him lol#but you know what I call that? free narrative real estate. I'm going to go ahead and make myself so so sad about this for no reason <3#illario loves and hates this guy in ways even he himself doesn't understand. so annoying when abel gets back up again#and still wants you to come to family dinner tonight while your hands are dripping with his blood#if anyone had to listen to lucanis anxiously deciding what would be the best way to court the prickliest man in thedas#and deciding on one of the worst possible options. it was illario. again he sucks and he deserves this. but still. the mind boggles
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[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]
I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.
Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, it’s Raph who’s right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raph’s right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leo’s being strangled to near death, it’s a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, it’s Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.
Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.
I also think it’s interesting that during each of Leo’s near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal “I told you so” as Leo’s falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how “hero moves” are Raph’s style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.
On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then there’s Leo’s freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.
These two care about each other so much, and they’re way too much alike for their own good.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt leo#rise leo#honorable mention to the time Leo desperately tried throwing himself into harm’s way to get to Karai#and Raph is the one who has to pull him back#I also think that it’s interesting how both of them go about self sacrifice#because wow they both have problems with it#Raph’s tends to be immediate reactions not even thinking as he throws himself over his bros#Leo’s are often shown to be ‘for the greater good’ (said greater good often being his family)#once again I am saying that post movie these two would likely have codependency issues#considering Raph’s already present acute seperation anxiety and Leo’s immediate memory of Raph standing over him bleeding#another thing to mention is how Future Leo’s actual death still falls into the whole ‘morbidly lighthearted words’ category#I also wanna point out that in Many Unhappy Returns the trust that Leo wants so much does NOT come from Splinter but from RAPH#side note but in regard to the fighting that Raph and Leo were up to during the time between the shredder and the krang#I think it’s interesting that it’s NOT depicted as screaming matches - very blatantly not this actually#also also! I totally love how the movie parallels Oroku Saki and Karai with Raph and Leo respectively#there are so many parallels in general in this show+movie it makes me froth at the mouth#and because it breaks my heart - the beginning of the movie had Raph getting angry at Leo and lashing out at him#the end of the movie has the Krang very very angry at Leo and lashing out at him#both of these times has Leo ‘ruining’ a mission so…bad parallels#in the movie as well there’s a Krangified Raph who beats Leo senseless#so I have to wonder if Raph and Leo just…can’t roughhouse anymore#else Leo would flinch or Raph would be so scared to accidentally hurt Leo like he was already used to do before#then suddenly their usual dynamic of Raph never having to be softer with Leo is thrown on its head#worse is if they’re so terrified of this dynamic leaving that they power through their own sufferings to maintain it
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day 3: your life is mine
#fate grand order#fgo#fate/grand order#xu fu#yu meiren#xu fu fgo#xuyu#idk their ship name once again#minifemslashfeb2024#kiki draws#i dont know why i chose such an ambitious piece for a daily challenge but erhmmmm#scratches head !!#yuri!! yay! yuri!! waho!!! i love yuri!!!!#^_^_^_^_^#im really excited for xu fu coming out this summer yay
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照らすの夜の中 導いて、 君は
#okay so now I'm definitely hit the threshold of drawing furry smut lol LEVEL UP#ela mi amora eres una mala influencia#that's a spicy meatball#but once again COME AT ME TUNGLR FILTER THERE'S NO BITS#ROTTMNT#leosagi#leoichi#usagi yuki#leonardo#rise usagi#RRCU#don't ask questions about where they are or what they're sitting on because bro idk either#white highlighting on a dark canvas my new beloved#rhinociart#TMNT#me following canon shapes: you got a flat head. flathead
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@scimagic Uhhh made this because I just think they’re dynamic is neat. Also completely agree with the Puzzle headcanon super fun silly and very on point. As we speak he is clinging for his dear life :))
I really enjoy seeing the illustrated storyline you have unfolding between the two and figured it would be nice to see this motorcycle sequence in motion. So tadaa here it is! In animated form! Now your obligated to make a full length written novel in-depth about their relationship /j
Sincerely though thanks for the creative inspiration and keep on being a swagger artist 👍✨
#Whoops seems my hand slipped—silly me these aren’t my characters! Here’s your lovelies back sorry for abducting them momentarily :))#tagging people is scary I’m just going to hide under a rock after this gets posted jksjsksp#my brain goes ‘teehee my genius hidden evil scheme no one saw coming—yess I shall gift lovely artists fanart when they least expect it’ >:3#and then once it’s actally time to post my brain goes crisis mode and implodes#like why am I drawing attention to myself huh? why can’t I scutter off as a masked anonymous figure into the night#oh well at least we made a dope ass motorcycle animation hell yea. Hopefully you like it <3#honestly in retrospect kinda surprises me that Puzzles doesn’t have a helmet…pretty sure his screen is durable but not THAT durable#one oopsie woopsie and that thing will get cracked again <<#but then again where are you ever going to find a rectangle screen shaped helmet to fit his head jksjsksp#there’s simply no winning#oh uh also incase anyone wishes to know the logistics of making this….didn’t take too long just three days! Pretty speedy :3#ok now this is the part where I twiddle my hands and await results lol#…..also just occurred to me the motorcycle model should’ve been a Harley or Suzuki I’m just dumb and forgor#even tho it was specified in the tags of the initial post I referenced heavily#like I was staring at the art for reference + online material but that useful tidbit of tag information flew over my head :P#sorry all you get is the generic motorcycle model….mission failed better luck next time *dies*#hplonesome art#not my characters#gift for someone else#do I even need to specify that in tags NO CLUE I’M PARANOID/j
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hooo
#the fact that d20 official account posted the hold person short right now and i saw it right after posting#i am once again realizing ive made a hilarious moment overly serious but hey what’s new?#it’s just that i overly and uncomfortably relate to kipperlilly in some ways#and the song came on randomly and i had such a clear vision if i didn’t draw it i’d suffocate#and i feel like i’ve come very far to be able to draw what’s in my head like this. but i also feel there’s still a long way to go#and the continuous need to whip your lacking self into better form … always not quite there yet … always your own endless disappointment …#anyway. time for me to go back into hibernation until a new d20 season bewitches me heart and soul
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whether you’re team lando or team oscar, you’ve got to understand that mclaren made mistakes today that could definitely cost them the championship. while I understand that the constructors is their main priority, they are also in the battle for the drivers championship (perspective? but I think so) and it is cruel to both of the drivers to send them into a race with a “battle it out” kinda mindset. It does no one any good, and if they continue you like this it might even ruin the relationship between the their drivers (and I fear we all know how will end - tragically). lando, whether you like it or not, should be mclarens main priority right now. they have the chance to win both the constructors AND drivers championships (something which they haven’t done in over a decade) I just don’t understand where their minds are at. but who knows maybe I’m wrong and there is some weird method to the madness which I’m currently blinded from. sorry I’m just utterly flabbergasted right now…
#mclaren#silly#monza gp 2024#monza#lando norris#ln4#oscar piastri#op81#f1#formula 1#landoscar#why is mclaren being silly#mclaren f1#mclaren need to get their heads in the game#am I missing something#don’t come for me pookies I’m not even a mclaren fan I have no bias I promise I want them both to do well#just my silly little opinion#MCLAREN LANDO IS RIGHT THERE#stupid silly mclaren#why do i even care this much#i miss max dominance#bring back peak red bull racing#sorry for dragging this on#yapper#miscommunication once again
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Yukine's journey toward acceptance of the life that was robbed of him, this time with finality, exemplifies the emotional and beautifully rendered arc that has defined his character.
Yukine finally accepting the reality of his death. Yukine stepping out from the fridge that contained memories of what was once his life. Yukine freeing himself from the shackles of his trauma. Yukine running to protect the person who cherished him the most in the world. Yukine standing up to an abusive father. Yukine wholeheartedly apologizing. Yukine's growth, and Yato tearing up as he stretches his little arms to pull him for an embrace.
Yukine's gratitude for what Yato did for him is evident throughout the series. He was given a name more precious than any other. He was treated like a human--an ordinary teenage boy. And life after that was one exciting journey after another. Now, Yukine can no longer be entirely consumed by the horrors of his past because he knows that his reality with Yato is so much brighter. Far brighter.
Yukine could break out from that refrigerator because of the true, sincere, and nurturing love shown by the only father figure in his life. Yato has said multiple times throughout the series that Yukine was his priority above all else, and Yukine was the only person he swore to protect the most. Hell, he even went straight to hug him after Yukine apologized for turning into that form! Yato did not need to summon Yukine. Yukine came to protect Yato on his own decision. As he always did.
The journey to their healing will be painful, and this chapter shows that Yato and Yukine will face it together. No more secrets and no more miscommunications. They will help and be by each other's side as they always have, not only as god and shinki but, this time, as family.
"I will not let him die. Not Yato. No matter what happens... I swear I won't let anyone take him from me!" -Yukine, Noragami Vol. 17 Chapter 67.
#noragami manga#noragami 104.2#ah yes i've finally calmed down#i am still however sad as fuck but at the same time relieved#my boys have reconciled and i look forward to the yato and yukine duo once again :')#i was rereading my fave chapters and i missed seeing them in battle TOGETHER#hopefully we get that next chapter when they completely annihilate father <3#i love them so much and i love this series sm#i will never shut up abt them man. their father and son dynamic is one of the best and i will stand by this till the day i die#i remember a post i made abt hoping yukine's life w yato will outweigh the grief of his past#and it did :'))))) it really did. yukine realized that himself and now he is back with yato#he is back by yato's side. the place where he rightfully belongs#i'm so emotional rn holy shit i've had this chapter dominate my head for the whole day today#anw WAR IS OVER LADIES Yukine has come back home 😭🫶#noragami#noragami spoilers#yukine#yato#mine
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| Oh... the world's a strange place, Guinevere. Never underestimate the power of love. I've seen it change many things.
#gwen’s crown#and circlet#and circle of friends— who’d gladly go to die by her side if it meant they’d live in her Love too#the framing here is so stunning#and nearly knocked me to my knees when I noticed#in The Last Dragonlord she’s only daring to believe that her love for Arthur (and his love for her) could change everthing and anything—#hence the crown encircling her head#in the second#(Diamond of the Day)#Arthur’s gone.#and she’s left bereft with the crown he promised her#but without the all encompassing love that had her step into the role in the first place#that’s why Gaius has to remind her of those friendships#of the round table framed at her back— loyal to their queen immeasurably even after all that’s happened#he reminds her of the Love#which she was doubly crowned protector of as Arthur was crowned protector of the physical realm#and she accepts the role once more#knowinf without a doubt that a great change is (once again) underway#but this time#she’ll steward the people of camelot through#knowinf everything that’s at stake#and everything that will come to be.#guinevere pendragon#thoughts are being thunk#queen guinevere
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I love that weird two-headed alien thing in Anakt Garden so much and especially that pic of ivan resting in its jaw. I know the picture isn't intended to be cute but when I see it I just think of when mother crocodiles scoop up their babies in their mouths to carry them. Ivan was that things little buddy
I do too! It’s one of my favorite pieces of official art. They just look so cute!! I love that you called Ivan the wagyein’s little buddy ���
You’re right about mother crocodiles, I never thought of it that way before. Maybe the wagyein saw Ivan as its baby? Or rather, something that needed its protection?
Another thing I love is how there are so many ways to interpret what the picture means.
Perhaps we’re meant to focus on the similarities between the two: red eyes, prominent teeth/tooth, obedient, monstrous (the wagyein literally and Ivan metaphorically).
Or it could be Ivan symbolically surrendering to the ugly parts of his inner self.
I like to think the picture shows an understanding between them.
They are both odd and somewhat solitary creatures, misunderstood by others. There are ugly parts in each of them that they can’t hide. But they find comfort in one another.
Ivan, resting in the wagyein’s mouth surrounded by all of its teeth, is extremely vulnerable; which we rarely if ever see him be at any other time in the series. The wagyein is also vulnerable to any attack beyond its teeth, throat, etc.
The fact that Ivan isn’t afraid of getting torn to shreds by the beast and the wagyein let Ivan so close suggests that there’s a level of mutual trust as well.
I wonder how Ivan felt when he gained the wagyein’s trust.
We know he struggled to connect with his classmates. Did he feel further ostracized when he had an easier time connecting to some sort of alien creature than other humans?
Did he see too many of his own features in the wagyein (red eyes, sharp teeth, and so on) to even think he was as human as the other children?
Maybe that’s where the idea of Ivan as a monster came from.
I firmly believe the similarities between the two were intentional.
#i am once again yapping about ivan#i have so many thoughts about him and this creature#did he name the wagyein? did he see it often? did it ever come looking for him? is it still around somewhere?#does ivan feel a connection to all wagyeins or just this one specifically?#crack theory: was ivan subjected to experiments involving wagyeins in some way?#i think i should rotate ivan in my head a bit more#alien stage#alnst#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#ivan alien stage#ivan alnst#alnst round 6#alien stage round 6#ivanttakethis answers#ivanttakethis shut up about ivan challenge: impossible#ivanttakethis talks too much
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the hitch in van helsing's words when he says "i beseech you" im going to cry for real this time. it's not even simply that he knows how important it is that he gets arthur to trust him, that he's conscious of their duty to all living souls and lucy herself to do this to her and how difficult this will be physically and emotionally. it's that arthur now distrusts him, cries at him in anger - arthur, the man who looks like his lost son and whom he loves because of it. the man whose love and respect he may now never get back after suggesting mutilating lucy's corpse. he isn't just desperate for all the men in that room to trust him so they can give lucy peace and keep the living safe. that's the sacrifice of his father's heart splitting in two right there. wtf alan burgon.
#alan burgon owns my fucking life fr every time i think it can't get better and then he's on the next ep and it's like#*holding my heart in his hand* if i squeeze like this i can wring every single emotion you've ever experienced out of you all at once#i had to pause then relisten then pause again b4 continuing#of course arthur forgives him in the end! but vh doesn't know that while he's suggesting this!#he goes up to arthur and suggests cutting off the head of his fiancée and he has to completely depend on his powers of persuasion#(which are off the charts but that's neither here nor there)#what if arthur didn't want to come. he'd only be able to do to lucy what has to be done by dishonouring whatever trust arthur has left#and in any case arthur would always think him mad and awful and never forgive him for anything#i am back on my vh bullshit (i was never off it) yes im being overly dramatic abt it. don't care.#dracula#dracula daily#re: dracula
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With how often his portals screwed up in the beginning, there’s absolutely no way Leo didn’t end up in multiple scenarios where he was trapped in random places chasing after his odachi as it gets separated from him, causing him to have to chase after it as it somehow evades his grasp in increasingly comedic yet unlucky ways.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#like even more than canon shows#imagine seeing Leo chase after his sword as it gets transported via the back of an ice cream truck#and right before he reaches it#it falls off into a passing train#and then he gets THAT#holds it above his head#and it gets snagged by like#a yokai goose or something#props if this all happened because Leo once again just wanted rest and the universe said nah lmao#when Leo comes back to the lair Mikey turns toward him and asks ‘hey Leo how was your trip-‘#leo (covered in bruises and looking like a hot mess): *grins tightly* IT WAS GREAT.#for some reason he’s drenched in honey and covered with feathers and paint#Mikey chooses not to ask (for now)
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I just think they'd be really really funny about it
#triangle strategy#general avlora#maxwell trier#I've had this as a wip for forever because I didn't want to do the last panel set I had to do (her standing at the table)#but I was going through my files the other day and it made me laugh so I finished it up#working name was 'avwell meetcute.clip'#in my head this is a precursor to them spending the next 6 months both individually believing they're living out an#especially tragic rendition of the ghost + mrs. muir#and then at some point they realize they're both fully alive and they just. quietly pretend that never happened!#anyways thanks once again for coming to my increasingly insane avlora and maxwell ted talks. I appreciate your time!!!!!
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