#and it’s shit coffee at that
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i like how most of the cars fandom agrees tex can’t cook for shit 😭
he’s banned from the weathers kitchen entirely
he probably almost burned down his college dorms
also i really like how in most fics i read tex just kinda lives with the weathers 😭
he’s just there sitting on their couch like he owns it (he might tbh)
i love tex<3
he’s so silly
#tex dinoco#tex can make coffee and that’s it#and it’s shit coffee at that#strip bought him a mug that says ‘worlds worst cook’#it was a birthday present and tex fuckinv love the thing#pixar cars#cars fandom#cal weathers#bootleg cal weathers#cars#cars 3#cars 3 (2017)#dinoco#lightning mcqueen#strip weathers#lynda weathers
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miss ma’am I love u and ur horrid diet
#dragon age#neve gallus#dragon age veilguard#ryuunart#wip#just fried fish and shit coffee HEART EYES#datv
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amazing news everyone i have ascended to ‘protagonist’ status, the place i get my coffee before work now knows my face (and has gently encouraged me to get a loyalty card)
#ramble#i actually might i would rack up a lot of free shit#this is very unserious btw i promise i am not one of Those#the one on my commute stopped doing iced coffee so now i walk 8 minutes to the next one#and it’s run by a rotation of the nicest men Ever#honestly i shouldn’t be surprised bc i’m 5ft and ginger and always have giant eyeliner askfhfhfj#i’m so serious if you have nothing else then make friends with your regular coffee shop#it’s like a pocket of sunshine
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the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh
#lucanis is being SO cringe with that line right out there in public and I would die for him. it's just such a weird thing to say#tbf if anyone in the world is used to the insane things lucanis says and would go 'yes yes lucanis waxing poetic about coffee#in ways normal people reserve for trying to get in someone's pants (the roast won't fuck you lucanis)#we've all heard it' like it's all normal I suppose it would be illario. and also he's too busy with the 'shit fuck shit he's not dead#he's not dead of the family members 'supposed' to be dead we're at two definite failures out of two and woe me if the twain should meet#if that IS a demon in there it sure talks exactly in the same bizarre way only my cousin does#does that mean anything what the fuck do I do who do I kill about this' internal monologue I guess#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I mean he does very much say that to a non-romancing rook too which only makes it all the more delightfully odd#is it a very lucaniscore way of testing the waters. is it just how he always talks about coffee. many plausible approaches here#no one forced him to bring up kisses and 'you should try it' out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. he could have acted normal#(theoretically)#i feel there are reasons to read some stuff into it lol#lucanis when rye says he prefers tea: it's so over cautious overture I don't quite understand myself yet gently rebuffed#lucanis when rye takes him up on the 'so what should a first kiss be' theme: oh we're so back!!!! wait. what. what do I do now#what is this#it's kind of really sweet that rook answers with their own playfully florid beverage based barely hidden metaphor at the end too#matching freaks and having fun with it#as far as lucanis is concerned rye's only true flaws are 1) prefers tea to coffee (oh well. no one can be perfect. cross-cultural love#can conquer all even in this) and 2) weird taste in interior design (did we really HAVE to bring your 15 foot tall corpse statues#with us home rook. I can understand a tasteful skull here and there but this seems excessive. well if it makes you happy I guess)
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okay i just thought of the funniest fucking headcanon but what if the reason five cant find a decent cup of coffee is because he just doesnt like coffee
#like i doubt reggie wouldve let them have coffee growing up and i dont think wouldve found much in the apocalypse so??#i mean theres always the commission but tbh they give off shit coffee vibes#i just find it really funny if five hates all the coffee he drinks because he just doesnt like coffee and hasnt realized it yet#tua#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#five hargreeves#1k#fin speaks#2k
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ghost horses
GHORSES
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#ask#wei wuxian#a-yuan#What a post to have a-yuan make his PD-MDZS debut on!#You're so right...if WWX were to summon a horse it would be a ghorse (ghost horst).#If he gets to have a ghost girl posse then why not also let him have a stable of beautiful ghost horses?#Yiling Laozu rides into town with his haunted vegetables and ghostly steed and zombie vegetable seller.#Serving a look that they might call 'off-putting' and 'discomforting'. To the *weak*!#WWX probably would let A-yuan pet the Horsies but hear me out: this is for the funny punchline.#To be honest where he lies on the triangle of 'can we get mcdonkcles?' triangle really depends who's asking.#I think he leans more on the 'orders a black coffee for himself and leaves' but with a shit-eating grin for most people.#He seems like a goofy guy who'd love to eat Mack O'donnel in the middle of the night with his friends.#But WWX lives his life with the innate sense to be an agitator. He wouldn't miss the opportunity to pull a prank like that.#I think he'd only actually go to Mick Dick's if Yanli asked#Feel free to disagree of course! He has his layers!
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Jason “my family doesn’t know im alive” Todd and Danny “my family doesn’t know I’m dead” Fenton going alongside each of their plans my beloved. like Danny will absolutely go head-to-head with all of Gotham to support his new best friend on all his crime lord endeavors while he drags Jason to also attend collage with him. They are roommates and there never seems to a mention of family from either side. It’s an unspoken understanding they have. They met because Crime alley as a ghost lair thrummed with so much loneliness, it was at first the perfect place for Danny to hide his ecto signature in. But then he saw the dumbass whose lair it was lean his motorcycle just a tad too much when making a sharp turn to an alley, he sweeped the floor through a lifted chain link that passed his body but not his helmet. Yep that’s right the red thing got stuck. Danny who at the moment happened to be watching through his window snorted. Much to his horror because if not a ghost that dude could’ve gotten his head flung off.
Still, the scene was ridiculous.
On a whim he irrationally sees the police closing in on the guy and panicked at the thought of the guy using intangibility to free himself so Danny phased them both through his apartment wall and left the guy sprawled in his couch. Jason didn’t freak out but that’s normal when one’s got a concussion, one the guy immediately denied having as Danny laid out the medical supplies. The idiot proceeded to almost flatten four steps to the door with his stubbornness. He also said “I’m asexual” in the most deadpan voice as Danny dropped him back in the couch.
Danny sighed. Clearly though, he’d done so too early in the night because the guy kept trying to go, kept trying to knock Danny out, kept trying to slash him with knifes Danny didn’t know he had stashed. He’d only disarmed the guy from his guns. The visible ones apparently, cause at one point the guy did take out a gun and shoot until the ammo ran out and then teetered the thing like it was an art prop and hit his moon lamp.
Danny "yeah you aren’t officially my friend until you’ve tried to kill me" fenton my guys.
Anyways both keep having the same argument over if Danny technically kidnapped Jason or not. Danny holds the fact that the police at least didn’t see the guy make the ridicule. Jason argued that happened cause he was sporting a concussion. Danny argued he got that after.
Jason at first thinks the guy's a meta, but no. Danny introduces himself, sheepily now that he recognizes this is who the lair he invaded is from. He bandages him and tries to cook for him. If Danny didn’t have ice powers he most certainly would’ve burned the apartment. Jason then proceeds to kick him out of his own kitchen and make them both enchiladas. It’s the most normal both had in a while with another person and the air seems oddly settled. From then on, Jason constantly invited himself over, under the pretense that this was his territory and therefore he could drop in unannounced. Danny who has actual powers says he only allows this because Jason cooks very well.
Danny stays away from the crime fighting business unless his buddy is in deep shit he can’t get himself out. Also it’s Danny’s turn to cover for his vigilante friend which Sam and Tucker give him so much shit for. (but also advice)
And they were roommates. (omg) Danny effectively derails Jason’s big comeback plans by casually dropping ghost lore every two days. Like,
Jason, talking about how he doesn’t want Bats snooping on his territory:
Danny: Just don’t let them in
Jason: ??
Danny: yeah!! Hasn’t Batman died and got revived??? You can totally kick out death touched people you don’t want entering on your lair.
Jason: …I can?
Danny: Yep dude, your lair’s supposed to feel safe.
Jason: wait does that mean I can kick you out?
Danny: First this is my apartment. Second, im dead, not dead touched. Third, it’s too late to get rid of me. bitch.
Anyways Jason is super excited. You mean to tell him he can actually deny people over to his territory haunt?? (Yes it’s only to people who have died and came back but still!! The sample size is exactly the type of people he doesn’t want to see—!)
Joker my beloathed can’t step foot in Crime Alley.
(Jason’d feel a lot safer if the clown was dead but the possibility of his murderer turning into a ghost and their little loophole not applying on the clown is too scary to contemplate.)
Anyways, Jason loves experimenting with the power. It can go from simply making people shudder and not want to enter crime Alley to straight up not letting them enter like there’s an invisible wall blocking the way.
Jason because he’s hurt that Bruce never even patrols Crime Alley and also because he’s petty put B under the category of “invisible wall” blacklist. His reasoning is that the man doesn’t even attempt to enter Crime Alley. To him it’s surely just a place shadowed in tragedy. (anyways that’s it’s the place he met Jason)
Ironically, Jason totally forgets that Batman does venture into Crime Alley one day in the whole year. The day he met Jason.
Okay. He didn’t forget at first. The first year Jason remembers cause it was only a few months till then but then the next— Jason forgets that today’s the anniversary of the day’s Bruce’s parents died. He forgets to allow B in when he feels a slight tug and dismiss the feeling that prompts Bruce to investigate because he literally can’t enter Crime Alley. He starts the trialsTM, he scouts on the very edge and sees people the whole day enter and get out and cross with no problem but Bruce can’t.
It’s literally just Bruce.
Time to call Constantine, i guess.
#bat shenanigans ensue#JSJSJS okay so i dont have a well versed timeline of events but two years after utrh who HASNT died of the batfam#cause those are the ones who are gonna go undercover to find what shady shit is this: )#im going with timmy cass and duke#sorry steph i KNOW you have died#the others have plausible deniability from my part#the trio is gonna come down hard on this unsuspecting pair#let's just say constantine just had one spare magical rune for each of them so they'll be able to identify who was powerful enough to do it#and duke found civvie jason. cass found civvie danny and tim also found jason a la squared. in his red hood get up later that night#the only useful photos are from tim's side but anyways since they got three suspects (one suspected to be the other. so really-- two)#they decide to split each other up and tag one each (whoever doesn't get the correct guy loses)#tim calls dibs on the twink. cass rolls her eyes and narrows her eyes at the red hood and duke smirks when he gets to keep his guy#he's not cheating if he didn't protest to getting to have the guy he already saw the aura of. he's sure he is IT#coincidentally duke happens to be the only bat jason doesn't recognize (and vice versa)#meanwhile cass is gonna be the one shadowing red hood which at this point he doesn't kill that much since he has his rules verymuch enforce#he does kill tho#so at some point they're gonna clash but at the start of the investigation no#let them be siblings your honor#big sis cass and her little brother 6'4 jay#and tim finally is gonna be the one to smoothly get himself in the conversation with cryptid roommate civilian danny fenton#genius dumbasses protection club#their first meeting is of course arranged but no less meet cute coffee shop au#anyways jason wants to know why the fuck hes got a bat tagging along with him so out of the blue and also why can't he fucking chase her of#cass is curious about how the red hood's mood constantly changes within her range yet he never attacks her despite his hurt-longing-anger#the boy who doesn't make noise fucking screeches when she sneaks up to him#and duke fucking brings his hands to block the chernobyl reject glow stick sun that's stands next to tim#while tim looks like his whole system is rebooting cause that's jason todd#dp x dc#danny phantom#jason todd
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"You already know that I'm interested" is such a powerful line for me because it says so many things: I still like you, I never stopped liking you, I'm interested in seeing where this goes, I also want to know what that something with you could be, I'm actually taking this seriously.
Tommy is not dating just to date. This shit is for real.
#bucktommy#tommy kinard#when i say i live in The Coffee Date Scene™#i mean that shit#ivy.word#firebeast#✩
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Do you think that Danny would be mad that his lab accident was incredibly traumatizing and gave him superpowers whilst Jay Garrick’s (the first flash) lab accident that gave him his powers was breathing in hard water vapors after having a smoke and knocking over a beaker of hard water?
#hi this is bones here. as someone where hard water is the norm I WISH hard water gave me superpowers#I boil that shit all the time and stand next to the fumes while I wait to make tea and coffee#AND I STILL DONT HAVE SUPERPOWERS!!!! this is a tragedy and an absolutely wonderfully baffling bs superpower origin from the-#1940s era. truly a tragedy#bones prompts#dpxdc#danny phantom#dp x dc
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oh boy i sure do love waking up sick after sleeping through my alarm but you know what it's gonna be a good day- what? what are you saying to me right now... no... NO... JASON CALLED TIM "REPLACEMENT" IN CANON??? THEY SAID JASON TODD SLEEPS AROUND???? KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME-
#for reference the Replacement thing came from someone's fic and then a JAYTIM fic made it popular#so now i have to suffer#and now you're telling me they made it canon???#is tim gonna be drinking coffee like a lifeline next??#is jason gonna be called a playboy now???#im gonna merge my soul with the planet Jupiter#what the FUCK is going on#i hate it here#tim drake#jason todd#i kind of liked that damian was bonding with timbern but it was at a great cost#there's a fine line between me liking canon details and fanon details#like no tim didn't stalk the bats when he was like 9 years old in canon#but in fanon? that shit is hilarious#the replacement thing?? WHEN THAT WASN'T WHAT JASON WAS TRULY MAD ABOUT????? FUCK YOU#AND IT'S BEEN YEARS. THEY ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW. SHUT UPPPP#comic:#dc's lex and the city#DONT GET ME STARTED ON ARIANA#WHY DOES SHE KNOW TIM IS ROBIN???
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I... Cannot stop
#spider-man#coffee bean gang#peter parker#mary jane watson#gwen stacy#harry osborn#flash thompson#mj watson#art#my art#comic#comics#marvel#you may ask ‘bro how and why are you cranking shit out so fast’#the answer is the bees!#also theres something freeing about using a different brush than i do for my more traditional art thats just bery fun#i needed more harry and gwen in this one since i focused more on the others before#flash and peter still ended up with a double page feature anyways#pbs kids peter is canon just ask the sliding timescale#gwens little widows peak is very important to me#i know the bangs are the more well known style but i dont care!#peters hair also never going in the right direction is equally important#there will always be at least one chunk rebelling
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Finished this one. Monstrous fuckery about to go down, though the logistics are anyone's guess
#drawing#artists on tumblr#illustration#ink#colour pencil#posca pens#coffee#monster#monster fucker (aspirational)#idk man#my art#org4sale#shit i forgot to add the monster's blush back in#eugh. too lazy. please imagine it on your own
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saw au where everything is the same except hoffman isnt an apprentice hes just really fucking weird so strahm is stalking this regular ass guy
#saw franchise#peter strahm#mark hoffman#sawtism#coffinshipping#<- a little bit.#ive imagined this extensively its so stupid it gives me a good laugh#everyone else is used to marks vaguely menacing and ominous behavior#but strahm thinks hes connected the dots (he hasnt connected shit hes seeing dots that arent even there)#antics ensue. obviously#office coffee machine breaks one day and strahm is like “hey hoffman why dont you show off your engineering skills to everyone”#and hoffman has no fucking clue what this guys on about but tries to fix it anyway to impress him#mark thinks hes bewitched pete so good that hes following him around so he mows his lawn shirtless at night or some shit#hardcut to pete in his car gripping the steering wheel foaming at the mouth wondering why mark hasnt done anything illegal yet#this is so stupid sorry needed it out of my system ythough#rigby original
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friend and I came up with the sickest outfit we could think of. The stump is part of the outfit and so is the wonderbread.
#the first one is a reference to Luka from alien stage#that's also very important.#no I don't know what coffee thug means#art#anime#houseki no kuni#hnk fanart#land of the lustrous#hnk phos#phos#doodles#dumb shit
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Lover of the cursey words... 💜🖤✌️
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Just a small drabble. Kenma has a high maintenance girlfriend and has no idea (read: he doesn't care and thinks you're way too amazing for him). Song below makes me think of the dynamic
Warnings: Kenma x Fem!Reader, she/her pronouns used for reader, you're into your appearance and typical "feminine" things (by heteronormative standards) in this one, you are just mentioned in this, not actually in it. it's more of a conversation between kenma and kuroo, sorry. really short, i could expand the concept into a fic in the future.
Kuroo looks over Kenma's shoulder to see what's distracting him from Kuroo's riveting story of his last business trip and is surprised to see Kenma confirming an online order. "Buying a new game?" Kuroo asks with a grin.
Kenma rolls his eyes and leans away from him in response. "No. I ordered a new bag for ____ ." His tone suggests it's nothing out of the ordinary, and it isn't, but it still causes Kuroo to raise an eyebrow.
"She's kinda high maintenance, huh?" Kuroo comments his thoughts out loud.
Kenma scrunches his face up as he looks at Kuroo like he's stupid. "No."
Kuroo pauses for a moment and just blinks because Kenma is not naive or oblivious. In fact, he's able to read people almost freakishly well because of his anxious obsession of staying a head of people so they can't catch him off guard and humiliate him or something. There is no way Kenma is oblivious to your tendencies. "You're buying her another handbag..." Kuroo says slowly.
Kenma grunts in response and looks back at his phone. "A tote bag," He mutters the correction. "And I'm buying her it because she carries so much shit in her bag it hurts her shoulders. This is supposed to be internally padded without it being noticeable."
"And...you don't think that's...high maintenance?" Kuroo inquires as if speaking to a child.
Kenma huffs in annoyance and looks up at Kuroo again. "No. She's easier to please than my cat."
Now Kuroo is seriously confused. "What?"
Kenma looks at him like he's stupid again. Kuroo feels like he's on the outside of some inside joke. "I bought her a year's worth of nail sets for valentine's day and she was skipping places for the next week," Kenma tells him bluntly. "She's so easy to please, it's ridiculous."
Kuroo looks at him in bewilderment. "Kenma, she gets a new nail set every month and she hardly ever wears the same outfit twice. She gets embarrassed if someone sees her when she's not fully done up."
Kenma purses his lips. "Yeah. She likes when people admire her," He tells Kuroo as if it's obvious. Kuroo is genuinely so lost right now. "That's not high maintenance, it's easy to understand. If she was super complicated to read and clingy, and nothing pleased her then she'd be high maintenance. She's not any of that."
Huh, Kuroo never really thought about it like that, but he supposes it makes sense for a guy like Kenma. He likes things straightforward and he appreciates people who understand him and his need for solitude. You're straightforward in what you want, you don't expect Kenma to make himself uncomfortable to please you by demanding he takes you places or anything, and you're fine to give him alone time since you like alone time too. Kuroo supposes you being a little materialistic and into your appearance doesn't bother Kenma since it's simple and he seems to be able to understand it, which is all he cares about.
And, now that Kuroo thinks about it, it's not like you ask for Kenma to do any of the things he does. You were into fashion and being done up long before you met Kenma, to the point that Kenma didn't believe you were into him for a while because you seemed so out of his league. It's not like you sought Kenma out because you wanted a guy to pay for your nails. Ever since Kuroo has met you you've had a new nail set every month, happily showing it off. Now, Kenma pays for it though, and he almost looks as happy as you do when you show off your new set to him. Maybe that's what Kenma meant. You are pretty easy to please in that regard and maybe Kenma likes pleasing you, and seeing remnants of it whenever you wear something he bought you or have a new hair style he payed for. Kenma isn't good with words, but he's decent with actions. Maybe he likes that he can please you so easily with actions.
Kuroo smiles at his friend and chuckles to himself. "Well, whatever you say, Kynma. She's your girl."
Kenma scrunches up his nose and turns back to his phone. "Don't call me that."
#kenma loving buying you shit and you using it. he loves feeling like he's with you and making you happy even when he isn't there#also kenma just loves making you happy. period.#he knows he's not good with words and that he's so introverted that he needs alone time#so it makes him happy if he can make you happy by being interested in what your interested in (like how you do with his games)#and showing you he cares through giving and buying you things he knows you enjoy#he also loves buying you small things like a coffee or fast food when he knows you want it#kenma is acts of service and gift giver extraordinaire#anime#haikyuu#kenma x reader#kenma kozume#kenma x you#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu x reader#kozume kenma#kenma kozume x you#kenma kozume x reader#kenma fanfic#kenma drabble#kenma imagine#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu imagines#haikyu headcanons#kenma headcanons#kenma haikyuu#haikyuu kenma#kenma x fem!reader#kenma x y/n#kenma kozume x y/n#i could write a full fic on this
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