#and it’s not that I dislike him but like I feel like everything I know from him is told rather than shown
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1. Not really
2. Either A Link to the Past or the Oracle duology collectively.
3. Skyward Sword. I just love how she and Link are such good friends. Though Spirit Tracks is a very close second, since that's the game where Zelda has the most actual screentime.
4. That I've played? Probably Breath of the Wild. Unpopular opinion, I know. It's pretty and all, but there's only like eight unique items in the game (counting the Runes), and only like 12 unique enemies. It's a huge world that can be fun to explore, but everything just gets really samey after a while. Plus the story sucks.
5. Three-way tie between Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, and Wind Waker, with Ocarina of Time as a close second.
6. Adventure of Link. I've heard the horror stories.
7. Jabu-Jabu's Belly from OoT because it's just such a unique setting (the OoA version is technically the same, but it's both way more annoying and also doesn't feel as much like the actual insides of a creature); Stone Tower from MM because its main puzzle mechanic is just so creative; Goron Mines, Arbiter's Grounds, and Snowpeak Ruins from TP because they feel like actual locations with a specific in-universe purpose rather than just "random place full of monsters and treasure;" the Temple of the Ocean King and Tower of Spirits because I really like the "central superdungeon" idea (honestly don't know why TotOK is so hated; reach new item unlocks shortcuts, so it's not like you have to do the same thing every time); both of the timeshifted dungeons in SS (Lanayru Mining Facility and the Sandship) because I love that mechanic (and also for the same reason as the TP ones; Ancient Cistern from SS because I really like the sharp contrast between the bright and airy "upper world" and the dark, zombie-filled "underworld;" Sky Keep from SS because it ties together everything from all the other dungeons with a very challenging and fun puzzle mechanic. Basically I just think SS had top-tier dungeon design.
8. The Oracle duology, hands-down.
9. The postman from Twilight Princess. I don't know why everyone hates on Navi when this guy exists. WHY IN THE NAME OF DIN CAN'T I SKIP HIM?!!?!
10. Beetle from SS, Magnet Gloves from OoS, Bombchu and Hammer from PH, Ball and Chain from TP, and Double Clawshots from TP/SS.
11. Wind Waker. It's where he's got the most actual character.
12. Probably Twilight Princess. It's the first one I played through entirely on my own.
13. Overall? Much as I dislike the rest of BotW, I can't argue that its character design is top-notch. After that, it's a tie between Skyward Sword and Twilight Princess.
14. As in, which one do I prefer? That depends entirely on context. Design-wise, the Gilded Sword takes the cake, but Biggoron's Sword is probably the most satisfying given that it's the reward for such a difficult side quest, and the Master Sword of course has so much lore tied to it that it's practically another character…then Skyward Sword made that literally true.
15. If Skyloft counts, then that. Otherwise… hmm… the Temple of Time is cool, since it's one of the few constant locations that ties multiple games together.
16. Lorule because it answers the interesting worldbuilding question of "what happens if the Triforce is destroyed?"; the Great Sea because it's somehow exactly the right balance between full and empty to not be boring but still feel like a vast ocean; and New Hyrule because it's just so satisfying to ride the train around (plus that song slaps).
17. Probably Twilight Princess or Majora's Mask
18. Also Twilight Princess or Majora's Mask
19. Twilight Princess or Majora's Mask (three in a row!)
20. Too hard to pick. Not the Switch ones though… for the others, it just depends on which one I'm feeling nostalgic for at the moment.
21. Breath of the Wild
22. So hard to choose… OoT/MM is classic and has a spectacular three-game-spanning arc, but TP, SS, TWW/PH, and ST have so much more personality within their own games.
23. Spiritual Stones. They look the coolest.
24. Either A Link to the Past or A Link Between Worlds. Those had the biggest inventories. Though the Oracle games also both have a pretty unique lineup. TP's are cool but too many of them are sadly underused.
25. Tie between Midna and Spirit Zelda (ST) because they participate the most in the story and actively help Link out instead of just being lore dumps, with Ezlo in second and Tatl in third.
26. Oracle duology collectively, with TMC as a very close second.
27. Probably A Link Between Worlds.
28. The Wind Waker. We need more games where Link actually has a family.
29. Depends entirely on the game
30. That's a hard one… Ballad of the Goddess from SS and themes from both TWW and TP are all very good, but I'd probably go with TWW or SS since those themes are actually incorporated into the game itself instead of just being background music.
31. Jabu-Jabu's Belly from OoA, Sword and Shield Maze from OoS, Ganon's Tower from ALttP, or Eagle's Tower from LA. Those ones are brutal. Though I would say that Mermaid's Cave from OoA is the most annoying with constantly having to go in and out and no easy means of doing so.
32. Probably BotW/TotK. Much as I dislike their gameplay, the map design is top-notch and looks the most like an actual fleshed-out world.
33. Depends. I like when the two are mixed, like in SS.
34. Moldorm in ALttP. He appears in ALBW and LA as well, but is more reasonable in both. Other contenders are Ghirahim III and Demise from SS, Evil Eagle and Dodongo Snakes II from LA, Mothula and Ganon from ALttP, and Knucklemaster and Yuganon from ALBW.
35. Demise from SS, Ganon from ALttP, Yuganon from ALBW, Majora from MM (without the Fierce Deity Mask)
36. Skyward Sword. It filled in a lot of worldbuilding holes. Though LA was also pretty good with the whole dream world thing.
37. Assuming we're talking about normal enemies and not bosses/minibosses… Technoblins from SS are pretty annoying. So are the flying tiles from ALttP, especially in that one room where you can't just cheese them by staying in the doorway, but even with that, it's still really irritating to have to just stand there until they're finished.
38. Dead Hand from OoT
39. ALBW or SS. Maybe TWW.
40. The stupid motorcycle in BotW. And also the Sheikah Slate. Really just everything from there (and TotK) that looks like modern technology. It breaks the fantasy too hard.
41. Song of Healing because it's so moving, and Song of Storms and Saria's Song because I can play them.
42. Bunny Hood. It's the most useful one.
43. In original MM, Zora, because the swimming mechanics are so satisfying. In MM3D, I don't know… the Zora isn't as satisfying, but the other four (counting the Giant's Mask) are pretty much the same.
44. Biggoron's Sword trading sequence from OoT and Gratitude Crystals from SS. The latter is the only one I've never finished, thanks to that stupid harp minigame.
45. Also Biggoron's Sword from OoT, or Maiamais from ALBW. They have the most satisfying rewards and also aren't super annoying.
46. OoT 3D. The dungeon redesigns were AMAZING. It was like a whole entire new game.
47. Skyward Sword
48. I like all of them.
49. Depends on the game, they all have different stuff. Plus they all have different numbers of bottles, which makes the storage capacity more or less valuable of a commodity.
50. OoT Mirror Shield or SS Hylian Shield
🌟 TLOZ asks 🌟
1. Is there a Zelda game(s) that you associate with each season or time of year?
2. Favourite 2D title?
3. Favourite incarnation of Zelda?
4. Least favourite entry in the series?
5. Favourite LOZ soundtrack?
6. Is there a Zelda game that intimidates you/looks too hard?
7. Favourite dungeons?
8. Most underrated Zelda game?
9. Least favourite character in the series?
10. Favourite item?
11. Favourite Ganon characterization?
12. Which Zelda game has the most sentimental value to you?
13. What Zelda game, in your opinion, has the best character design?
14. Master Sword, the Four Sword, Great Fairy's Sword, the Koholint Sword, or the Biggoron Sword?
15. Favourite location within Hyrule?
16. Favourite location outside of/parallel to Hyrule (Termina, Lorule, Holodrum, Subrosia, the Dark World, Labrynna, the Great Sea, etc)?
17. Most atmospheric game?
18. Which Zelda game feels most mature to you?
19. Which Zelda game has the darkest story to you?
20. Favourite 3D title?
21. Prettiest Zelda game?
22. Favourite incarnation of Link?
23. The Pendants of Virtue, the Spiritual Stones, or the Goddess Pearls?
24. Game with most impressive/useful lineup of items?
25. Favourite companion (Midna, Ezlo, Navi, etc)?
26. Favourite handheld title?
27. Game with the best title (Breath of the Wild, Twilight Princess, Link's Awakening, etc)?
28. Most wholesome Zelda game?
29. Favourite item to use (aside from the sword & shield)?
30. Favourite title theme from a Zelda game?
31. Hardest dungeon played?
32. Game with the best map design?
33. Do you prefer puzzles or combat?
34. Game with the hardest boss?
35. Game with the hardest final boss?
36. Which game had the most engaging story, in your opinion?
37. Least favourite enemy?
38. Creepiest enemy?
39. Which Zelda game, in your opinion, had the most satisfying ending?
40. Most out-of-place thing in the series?
41. Favourite ocarina song?
42. Favourite non-transformation mask from Majora's Mask?
43. Favourite transformation mask from Majora's Mask?
44. Hardest sidequest in the series?
45. Best sidequest in the series?
46. Favourite remake/remaster (Ocarina of Time 3D, The Wind Waker HD, Link's Awakening for the Switch)?
47. Most fulfilling Zelda game?
48. Favourite graphical style within the games (cel-shading, realistic, 16-bit, etc)?
49. Favourite thing to keep in a bottle?
50. Favourite shield?
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Okay, I actually really like this. And I can say why.
"But Dana isn't it hypocritical to Like Lunar's 'villain arc' while disliking Nexus's?"
Not really. Because what Lunar is doing is consistent with his character. Which is, entirely selfish motivations as he has always had before, and I'll explain Lunar's motivations and why he makes a better compelling villain arc. And who knows, maybe Lunar will rush back and say he's sorry after one or two episodes when Nexus didn't.
But Nexus/N!Moon grieving over someone he loved, everyone assuming he's evil and them making a heel turn into 'irredeemable evil' I didn't like because it was contradictory to the past year we spent with N!Moon and unintentionally felt like it villainized grieving in an ugly way. And I've expressed the dislike of All of Nexus's worst fears coming true. He believes his family doesn't understand, they treat him like villain immediately. He thinks he's easily replaceable and not as talented as the Old Moon. Old Moon comes back, replaces him, is accepted immediately and was proven to be intellectually superior to N!Moon. He thinks he's broken that he's beyond repair and can't be fixed. Earth gave up on him really quickly despite being aware of his coping mechanisms (lashing out) (even before the "collateral damage" thing) Ruin lied and manipulated him and killed Solar. Nexus never wanted to be manipulated again.... D!Sun put the plans in place that he was the perfect pawn in an interdimensional sacrifice to get the outcome he wanted. Nexus wanted his family to join him and understand him. No one understood him and he died at the hands of his own brother.
Nexus died with all his worst fears and nightmares confirmed true. It's honestly tragic and horrible.
NOw.... Lunar. Getting into this little bean. Has a far more compelling reason to be corrupted by Negative star power. That is consistent with his character and just doesn't replace Lunar with... Lexus or something.
So Lunar was just told recently by Taurus and Gemini, that he has reached the precipice of his training and neither will train him anymore. With his mental block on his trauma and Eclipse and just apathetic to everything, he can't tap into his emotions or power. Understandably, Lunar is frustrated by this and feels no one is listening to him and feels his partner is being demeaning (they're not. And it's not about him. But Lunar is to selfish to get that.)
People often don't understand that Gemini does not try to be intentionally demeaning to Lunar. They do not have human emotions like we do, or even the animatronics do. They operate at a different level beyond our human comprehension, So I don't place Astrals into mortality boxes. And Lunar, is still a very childish and selfish character, and seems to not understand their partner. Even if they do like them a whole lot. They just don't understand them at a fundamental level. It's hard to have an emotional connection to someone who doesn't have human emotions, (or who is just starting to feel emotions in small doses but that's just a theory) and Lunar does not have the patience or emotional maturity to deal with someone who operates like that.
So Rez puts it out there for Lunar to get stronger then they are willing to train him and SO OF COURSE Lunar would jump at that because he feels infantilized and has felt that way by his partner for a long time. Keep it in mind, Gemini does not do this intentionally, and makes this clear to Lunar MANY TIMES over the entire course of the year they have been interacting.
Not to mention, Sun killing Nexus disturbed something across dimensions. It's as I said when Nexus first turned to the dark side. It's like all Moon's destiny is to inherently be doomed by ambition. Lunar included in that. Lunar following in Nexus's footsteps. Because those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it. And Lunar is the prime example. And this is horrible. Maybe it's hypocritical of me to like Lunar's heel turn into a Sasuke arc. But this is on a path of destiny that needs to break. And that's why I think I find it a bit more compelling from a character motivation and writing stand point. So. Yes. Lunar abandoning his family when they need him. Horray!!!
I think I just like it because it is consistent with all of Lunar's characterization up to this point. And because he did not care or know what was going on with Nexus, he will get corrupted by the NSP too. Who knows, maybe Lunar will gain a new found sympathy for Nexus knowing how Dark Star Power fucks with your head and insecurities.
#tsams#laes#full disclosure i was drinking when I typed this so the second half might sound less coherent then the first half#danachan's rants#Sun and Moon show#Lunar and Earth show
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! `'what I think mha boys would be like together'` !
Just some of my headcanons of what I think some mha boys would be like in a relationship with reader :3 (might do a girl vers of this) or a part 2 of this one
contains: Izuku x reader, Katsuki x reader, Kirishima x reader, Denki x reader, fluff
Izuku :
Izuku is definitely the one to compliment/ praise you over everything, oh you styled your hair different than usual? “You look so pretty/handsome” or you finally finished that book/game/drawing you’ve been trying to complete “that’s amazing Y/N!”. Mostly uses your first name but he does have some nicknames for you; mostly being shortened versions of your first name along with “My star, lovey, babe”, is anxious to make first moves on anything but if you initiate something (holding hands, a kiss, etc.) he’ll join in when you initiate it; though when he does get the confidence to initiate something it’s mostly holding hands or snaking his arm around your waist lightly grazing your hip. Loves giving you little head kisses, cheek kisses! Makes you little paper dolls of you two for special occasions <3
Katsuki :
He’d definitely not change much when he’s dating you, maybe more softer towards you than the others but other than that Katsuki is still the same ol’ Katsuki. Gets you gifts on special occasions (he knows exactly what you like and dislike cause he’s been sneakily analysing you so he could use it to an advantage) , helps you with choosing outfits, hairstyles etc. tries to sound less harsh when giving you advice but it can be sarcastic at times, only refers to you with your first name with the slight nicknames on cards or gifts but never from his lips, ruffles your hair and plays about with your hair (pleatting it, twirling it around his finger) doesn’t wait for you to initiate anything- will initiate holding hands, kisses, cuddles first, Katsuki will boast about you, he’ll just bring you up in every conversation like “My Y/N done that too though better than you” , “Yeah Y/N knows that too, they knew way before you did extra!” Isn’t one for showing PDA but shows a lot of affection privately in his words “It’s better being just the two of us than a crowd of extras” will not admit but he loves it when he lays on your lap and you play with his hair <3
Kirishima :
Kirishima would defo’s would be glued to your side helping you with anything, holding your hand and somewhat having his hand on you (shoulders, head, waist, nothing too intimate) asks you to join him when he’s working out, sometimes will ask you to even join in, non stop compliments- compliments are literally spilling from his lips he’s just so loving of you he can’t help not to tell you how beautiful/handsome you are. Matching clothes. He would love to wear those matching shirts that have the arrows pointing to left/right saying things like ‘I’m hers/his’ even if your not into that kinda stuff he’d even do things like matching pfp on socials! Kirishima would definitely listen to music with you, even if you both share different taste in music he wouldn’t care as long as he gets to do something with you and learn more about you he’d love it <3
Denki :
I feel if anything he’d just get more funnier when he’s around you, he wants to hear your laugh whenever he does something stupid, loves to play video games with you (if you like them ofc) if not he just likes to have you around him whenever he does play games, will say silly lines like “what’s cooking good looking” and other lines, loves to play with your hair, hold your hand and trace over your bones and veins, Loves to lay on your lap whenever you guys hang out at one another’s dorms. Will ask for your help with anything especially if it’s for tests, loves to talk to you about everything, literally everything there’s times he’ll ask questions that really make you think where it takes you weeks to finally answer and he’s sadly forgotten his question.
Hope you enjoyed this <3 I might do other parts to this one but I’m not sure yet ;-;.. but anyways I’m working on a lil project that might take a bit so I’m posting this just to not seem and inactive for long periods of time ⭐️
#izuku x reader#katsuki x reader#kirishima x reader#denki x reader#mha#headcanon#smolz’s posts#part 2?
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𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘜𝘴 ✄
Synopsis: You never thought a quiet new kid, who seemed so distant and out of place, could have such an impact on you, but somehow, his presence turned everything upside down.
genre/warnings: fluff to angst, Sunghoon is really shy, stalking, miscommunication, isolation, social anxiety, self doubt, rejection, drama | Wc: 5.1k
𝒎𝒂𝒓'𝒔 note: Everything that has been going on with me and my crush, who I called Thickie, served as the basis for this. It was really embarrassing, and I still find it hard to move on from it. Everything is still in progress, so I'll turn this into a series if anything more occurs. Legit every detail in here is from my true experience so enjoy! (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.゚
You put on a white shirt with a black skirt and mary janes. Your hair had gotten a lot longer in the summer, your bangs are finally starting to blend in with the rest of your hair length, making you feel more confident. Most people dislike you after an incident that happened in middle school, you were secretly dating the boy everyone liked and when they found out, they all ghosted you. Though you didn't care and knew that their hatred was pure jealousy. Even after everyone left you, everything was getting better, as you finally became best friends with your “friend crushes”, Rei and Tzuyu.
Because you didn't want the summer to end, you and your best friends stayed up all night yelling at each other to go to bed, saying "goodnight" several times, and then messaging again a few seconds later. It was your first day of school. Knowing that you would only be attending school today and departing on a three-day trip to Toronto the following day, however, made you glad.
You walk to school and find Rei outside the school, waving to you with a big smile greeting you.
"Hey!" Rei grins, pulling you into a hug. "Did you get any sleep at all last night?"
You laugh, shaking your head. "Maybe like an hour? You and Tzuyu kept sending 'one more message,' and I couldn't just leave you hanging."
Rei laughs, linking her arm with yours as you both start walking toward the school doors. "Right? I was wide awake until I wasn't. But at least we're suffering together."
As you make your way through the school hallway, you catch glimpses of your classmates, most of whom glance away when they see you. But the familiar sight doesn't bother you as much as it once did. With Rei and Tzuyu by your side, you feel more grounded, more confident.
"So, are you ready for the first day? You know, before you escape to Toronto?" Rei asks, nudging you playfully.
"Absolutely. Today’s just a warm-up before the trip," you reply, your excitement about the getaway shining through.
Rei's eyes sparkle, but she suddenly stops mid-step and lowers her voice. "Oh, did you hear about the new guy?"
You raise an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "Nope. What's the scoop?"
She leans in, lowering her voice to a dramatic whisper. "Apparently, Sohee saw him earlier, and she said he's exactly our type."
You feel a blush creep up on your cheeks, but you laugh it off. "Oh, really? Does he know my type that well?" Sohee was one of your old best friends, you and him were in a trio with another girl from 3rd grade until 8th grade when another girl joined the group and ruined everything. Although, you were never mad at Sohee for leaving you, knowing he was a really shy boy who followed whoever he was with, the second he got gaslighted by them.
Rei smirks. "Let's just say he has the 'mysterious and smart' vibe. Sohee practically dragged me over to the library just to sneak a peek."
Your eyes widen in amusement. "And you went along with it?"
"Of course! I’m a great friend," Rei jokes, tugging you gently in the direction of the library. "Come on, let’s go check him out. You know you’re curious."
You laugh and shake your head, but you can’t help but let Rei lead you there, the anticipation bubbling up as you both head toward the library.
As you and Rei reach the library, she glances around, scanning for the guy she’s been talking about. Finally, she spots him across the room, and at first, her face lights up with excitement, but it quickly fades as she takes a closer look.
“Really?” she mutters, wrinkling her nose slightly. “I thought he’d look… I don’t know, better? My old crush was way cuter.” She shrugs, clearly unimpressed.
You glance over at him, and while he’s definitely cute—with that relaxed, friendly vibe—you don’t feel the spark that Rei probably thought you would. You chuckle, nodding along. “Yeah, he’s alright,” you say with a smile.
The rest of the school day drifts by, and soon you’re heading home to get ready for your weekend trip to Toronto. The city is as vibrant as you’d imagined, with lights and people everywhere. You spend your time trying new foods, wandering through markets, and snapping photos of everything from the towering CN Tower to the small, hidden bookstore you find tucked away in a quiet alley. The trip feels like a whirlwind, and by the time you get back, you’re bursting with stories to tell Rei and Tzuyu.
The day after you return, you walk into school excited to catch up with your friends. Between classes, you tell Rei and Tzuyu all about Toronto—the food, the shops, the endless things to see—and they laugh as you share your favorite moments. The day flies by, filled with laughter and classes, and finally, the last bell rings.
As usual, you, Rei, and Tzuyu gather your things and start walking to the bus stop. Since the bus doesn’t come directly to school, you have to walk a few blocks to the station—a small routine you’re all used to by now.
You’re halfway there, laughing at something Tzuyu said, when you notice someone familiar standing at the bus stop ahead. It’s him—the guy from the library, earbuds in, looking just as relaxed as before.
“Wait, he’s here?” you ask, stopping in surprise as you look from Rei to Tzuyu.
Rei raises an eyebrow, giving you a knowing smile. “Yeah, he takes the same bus as us. He’s been taking it since the day you left for Toronto.”
You shake your head, laughing a little. “What a coincidence.”
Since then, you've been seeing him at the bus stop every day after school and at the library at lunch. You've been feeling a little something for him, even if you wouldn't admit it. He lets himself be the last person on the bus while you watch him wait for everyone else to board. It warmed your heart to watch him use his phone on the bus and then get up swiftly when he saw an older woman.
One problem, though, was that you didn't know his name, grade, identity, or anything else. You only knew that you followed him everywhere and that you had unintentionally managed to learn his whole routine. – Period 01: PE / Period 02: Local 218 / Period 03: Portable Class / Period 04: Local 214
You’re sitting in the back of French class, pretending to take notes but actually scribbling on a small piece of paper. Hi, you write, your pen hesitating as your heart races. I think you’re really cool, but i dont have the courage to ask for your socials :)
You look down at the note, wondering if you’re really about to do this. You've seen him on the bus almost every day, yet you don’t know his name or anything about him. But he’s got this quiet vibe, something that just makes you want to reach out.
Before you can change your mind, you fold up the note and slide it into your pocket.
You’re standing by the bus stop, heart pounding, clutching the tiny note in your hand. Just before the bus arrives, you check your reflection in your phone screen, quickly fluffing your hair and taking a shaky breath.
When the bus pulls up, it’s packed, and as you step on, you spot him—standing near the door, one hand holding the railing, looking a bit squished by the crowd. You can barely breathe, but this is your chance.
With the bus jolting along, you inch your way closer to him, your heart thudding louder with each step. Just as the bus nears your stop, you reach out, tap his shoulder gently, and he turns, startled, his eyes widening in surprise.
You don’t say a word. You just hand him the folded piece of paper. He takes it, still looking confused, and before he can react, you dart off the bus, practically running all the way home, feeling like you’re in a scene from a movie.
Back home, you collapse onto your bed, covering your face with your hands, replaying the moment in your mind. You can’t believe you actually did it!
It was clear that he was timid because you never saw him with friends or spoke with anyone. That's the main reason you couldn't find his socials, he was never with anyone for you to go and stalk their following to see if he has them as a mutual. Until one day, you saw him leave his physical education class one day with a classmate. You had never seen this man smile until that moment. Finally, some information that might be useful to you: he was with a boy who is two years older than you and whom you have seen around since starting high school, meaning that he could be in the yearbook of the previous years.
You sigh, glancing at Rei as you place the yearbook on the lunch table. “Rei, you don’t understand—I’ve searched everywhere for this! I’ve asked everyone in our grade for a yearbook. And now… finally, here it is!”
Rei grins, leaning closer as you take a huge bite of your sandwich, flipping through the pages, fingers smudging a bit from the crumbs. “Okay, let’s find him,” you say with a determined look, your eyes scanning the faces. You’re on a mission. The guy you like—the quiet, mysterious one you barely ever see talking to anyone—had left gym class one day with another boy. You never saw him smile until that moment. And that moment set you on a quest.
“Wait!” You stop, finger hovering over a face in the yearbook. You lean in closer. It’s him. The boy who was with the guy you like. “Jake… that’s his name! Rei, that’s him!”
Rei’s eyes widen as she stares at the picture. “So what now?” she whispers, excitement in her voice.
“Now, we find his Instagram.” You both huddle around your phone, searching Jake’s name. A few scrolls later, you find it, click on his profile, and go straight to his following list, fingers crossed, heart racing.
And then—there he is! The guy you’ve been trying to find for weeks, maybe months, is right there, grinning in his profile photo, holding a peace sign and doing aegyo. You and Rei scream, your excitement echoing across the cafeteria. Everyone’s staring, but you don’t care. After all this time, you’ve found him, you check his name, Park Sunghoon.
“Finally!” Rei laughs, clutching her stomach as she recovers. “He’s so cute! Look at how he's pouting in his picture awwwhhh!!!!!”
You nod, barely able to contain yourself. He’s always been so reserved and alone, never hanging out with anyone—until that day with Jake. And now you’ve got a way to find out more. This journey, all this searching, led you right to him. You can't believe you wrote that letter talking about how you're too shy to ask for his socials and there you are, finding it a week after handing him that letter.
You and Rei are on cloud nine. You both run to the school agora, barely containing yourselves, and collapse into seats, still grinning and squealing over every little detail.
Rei, not ready to stop, grins and pulls out her phone. “Let’s see if he has a TikTok!” she says, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
A few moments later, she gasps, grabbing your arm. “Oh. My. God.”
“What?” you whisper, leaning in as she clicks on his profile. And right there, at the top of his page, there’s a slideshow video, captioned “Top 1 ways to confess without making things awkward”—in Vietnamese(you both had to translate). You squint, heart pounding, as the first slide comes up.
It’s your letter. The one you slipped on the bus.“Oh my god,” you breathe, covering your mouth as you stare at your handwriting on his screen. There’s a photo of the tiny, folded paper you handed him, with his comment right above it. It’s almost surreal. “He kept it…”
Rei is shaking your arm, eyes wide, practically bursting with excitement. “This is insane! Look at what he wrote!”
You both scream, clutching each other as the full realization hits you. You’re laughing, squealing, and just completely overwhelmed by the moment. You’ve never felt so giddy, your heart racing as everyone in the agora turns to stare. But right now, you couldn’t care less. After all the mystery and excitement, it’s as if the universe gave you the ultimate reward: he noticed, he remembered, and he thought it was amazing.
After all the excitement, you decide to follow him on Instagram. You’re still riding that high from the video he made, and the confidence surge pushes you to hit Follow. Heart pounding, you quickly put your phone down, trying not to overthink it.
Over the next few days, it feels like you’re seeing him everywhere. You’re with your friend Tzuyu in the hallway, talking and laughing, and suddenly—you spot him across the hall. You glance away quickly, but somehow, you keep bumping into him between classes, catching each other’s eye at lunch, or passing by him after gym. It’s almost like the universe is playing matchmaker, making your paths cross just enough to keep you on edge.
After school one day, you’re finally relaxing at home, replaying everything in your mind, when you get a notification. Your heart skips a beat as you see his name on your screen: Park Sunghoon sent you a message.
You open it, holding your breath as you read:
Good evening. I’m sorry to bother you, but are you the girl who gave me a letter?
The formal tone makes you smile. It’s a simple message, polite and careful, but it feels like a small victory. You can hardly believe this is real—he remembers, and he wants to talk.
You stare at the message, fingers hovering over the keyboard, your heart racing as you think of what to say. The moment you’ve been dreaming of is finally here.
You stare at the message, heart pounding, before finally typing, "Yes, I’m sorry if I bothered you with that."
A moment later, he replies: "No, it’s okay. But I have a question…"
Your heart nearly stops. "Do you like me a little bit?" he asks.
Panic sets in. You’re suddenly hyper-aware of how often you’ve been bumping into him, following him on social media, and it feels like your crush is written all over you. But the fear of rejection kicks in, and you decide to play it safe.
“Oh, no! I just wanted to be friends,” you type, trying to sound casual.
After a pause, he replies, "Oh, okay, I’m sorry hahaha. I just wasn’t sure because… I’m not really looking to like anyone right now."
Relief washes over you. You’re grateful you didn’t confess outright—dodging that bullet just saved you from heartbreak. The tension fades, and you decide to keep the conversation going with some small talk, asking him how he’s finding things at your school since he’s new.
He replies with a few polite answers, mentioning how everything is still unfamiliar, but he’s trying to get used to it. He seems a little shy, but you’re both warming up to the conversation, and it’s nice to chat without feeling nervous.
Finally, you end with, “Well, I hope everything goes well for you here!”
He likes your message, and it feels like the perfect note to end on. You close the chat, feeling both relieved and excited—no awkward confessions, no heartbreak, just a friendly connection. It’s enough for now.
It’s been a while since you last messaged Sunghoon. You’ve seen him around here and there, but lately, he’s been a little less present in your day-to-day life, and you can’t help but feel that familiar flutter every time your paths cross. You’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, and the anxiety has been building up. You couldn’t take it anymore.
It’s 11 PM, and you’re lying in bed, staring at your phone, when you finally decide to send him a message:
“Hey, I have a question. Why did you follow me if you had a feeling I was the letter girl?”
You’re nervous, fingers hovering over the send button. You’re hoping for an answer, but you also don’t know if you’re ready for whatever might come next. You wait, your heart racing.
A few moments pass before he replies:
“Well, I saw you were following my friend Jake, and I guess I figured you might be the one who gave me the letter. I wasn’t sure, but I thought maybe it was worth a shot.”
You freeze for a second, remembering that yes, you did follow Jake after you found his account, thinking it might give you a better chance to get noticed by Sunghoon. You hadn’t mentioned that to him, but now it all makes sense. But before you can reply, your phone buzzes again.
“I’m sorry, but I think we should go back to being strangers again. It’s not your fault. I just, I’m really shy, and I’ve had people do this to me before back in my old country, and I just can’t handle it. You’ll find people who are better for you than I am, ive met alot of people at our school and I know there's better people. I hope we can unfollow each other and act like none of this happened.”
The message hits you like a punch in the gut. Your heart sinks, and you feel the sting of rejection, though he’s not exactly saying no. It’s more like he’s pushing you away for his own reasons—his own fears and insecurities.
Your mind races, unsure of how to respond, before you even go to unfollow as he said, he had already removed you. Part of you wants to reassure him, to tell him that it’s okay, that you understand. But another part of you feels hurt, confused, and unsure what to say next.
You hesitate, staring at his message for a while, before you try to gather your thoughts. But all you can think is that he’s shutting himself off, just like you feared. The shy, reserved guy who never really let anyone in—he’s doing it again. And you’re left wondering if it’s really about you… or if it’s about him. You sent him a few paragraphs back, making sure he understands that you're not upset (when you clearly were) and that you understand, you wished him a good year and that you hope he isn't mad at you for trying to become friends. You couldn't sleep that night, you weren't upset at what he did but rather at yourself, embarrassed how hard you were trying and how stupid you looked following and stalking him everywhere.
The next day, you’re in complete shock. You woke up still feeling the sting of his messages, the rejection lingering in your chest. It feels like a weight that won’t lift, and the emotions hit you all at once. Embarrassment, confusion, sadness, and even a sense of guilt for not understanding him better—it’s a whirlwind inside you. You can’t stop thinking about him and what he said. You wanted things to go differently. You never meant to make him feel uncomfortable.
By lunch, you're sitting with Rei, and she can see it on your face. She gives you a concerned look as you sit down, trying to keep it together.
“What happened?” she asks gently, sensing something’s off.
Without thinking, you just let it out, the floodgates opening. “I messaged him last night. I asked why he followed me when he already knew I was the letter girl, and... he just kind of shut me down. He said we should be strangers again and that he’s too shy and I’ll find better people than him. He made it sound like it was my fault, like I was doing something wrong.”
Rei’s eyes widen, and she immediately reaches over, pulling you into a hug. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That’s a lot to take in.”
You break down, tears filling your eyes as you cry into her shoulder. “I just… I don’t want to make him feel bad. I didn’t mean to push him. He’s so shy, and I don’t know how to help him without making him feel even worse.”
Rei rubs your back soothingly. “Hey, listen, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just being honest, and sometimes people are just too caught up in their own stuff to see things clearly. You didn’t know he felt that way. It’s not about you.”
You nod, but the guilt still eats at you. You can’t help but feel like maybe you pushed too hard or misread the situation, and now everything feels so awkward. You don’t want to make things worse for him, but you also don’t know how to fix it. He’s clearly struggling with his own fears and shyness, and that makes you feel bad for him, even if it hurts you too.
“I feel so embarrassed, Rei. I just… I thought I could talk to him. I thought maybe we could be friends, but now it’s like he’s pushing me away. I just wanted to know him better…” You sniffle, wiping your tears as if you were crying over someone you were in an actual relationship.
Rei looks at you with a reassuring smile, though it’s clear she feels for you too. “I get it. But you know what? You were brave enough to put yourself out there, and that’s something to be proud of. He’s just got his own stuff going on. It might take time, but if he sees that you’re not going anywhere, maybe he’ll come around. But for now, don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.”
You take a deep breath, nodding through your tears. “I guess... I just feel so bad for him. He’s probably struggling with so much, and I didn’t even know.”
Rei squeezes your hand. “Yeah, but he’s lucky to have someone like you who cares. You just have to give him time. Don’t give up on yourself or on him yet.”
You wipe away the last of your tears, feeling a little better after talking it out. *“Thanks, Rei. I needed that.”*
She grins and pats your back. “Always. And remember, you’ve got this. Whatever happens, don’t let this bring you down.”
You manage a small smile, knowing that it’s not the end. You don’t know what’s going to happen with Sunghoon, but for now, you’ll give him space and try not to overthink it. At least for today, you’re not alone in this.
The excitement you once felt is slowly turning into confusion. You had imagined that things would continue like a scene from a movie—something sweet, maybe a little awkward, but ultimately fun. But the way everything’s been unfolding lately doesn’t match the fantasy you’d built in your head.
You’ve realized that you haven’t seen Sunghoon like you used to. It started with small signs at first. He’d arrive late to the bus station, and you'd notice that the usual place you’d see him was empty. Then it got worse—he stopped coming altogether. You couldn’t help but notice his absence, a dull ache that replaced the excitement you once had when your paths crossed.
Things only got stranger from there. You’d see him around school, but it was like he was avoiding you. You’d catch glimpses of him, but he’d always take a longer route to class or find ways to avoid being near you. It was like he was deliberately keeping his distance.
And then one day, you saw him in the hall. He was walking toward you, and your heart leapt. You waited for the familiar glance, a smile, or even the awkward moment of eye contact you’d grown used to. But when your eyes met, it wasn’t what you expected. The second he realized it was you, his gaze quickly dropped to his phone. He didn’t even acknowledge you.
Confused, you looked back as he passed, and when you did, his head jerked up from his phone, as though he was trying to act like nothing had happened. The moment was awkward, uncomfortable, and it felt like everything you had hoped for was slipping away.
It’s hard to describe the feeling. Part of you wanted to scream, demand answers, but the other part of you felt embarrassed, unsure of how to act. Was he avoiding you? Did he regret ever following you back and having that conversation? You couldn’t understand why he was shutting you out so suddenly, especially because you both never spoke, only those small messages, he was doing too much.
Your mind raced as you tried to piece it together. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that everything had shifted. He’d been polite, distant, and you could feel the walls going up between you two, even though you hadn’t done anything to push him away. All the movie moments—the ones that had once made you feel like something magical was happening—had turned into something awkward, cold, and uncertain.
You wanted to believe this was just a misunderstanding, but deep down, you couldn’t help but feel like you were losing him. And no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that maybe he just needed space, a small part of you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
The air is crisp with the Halloween season, and the school is buzzing with excitement as the annual Halloweenogrammes are being sold—a fundraiser where you can send a small bag of candy to someone with a little handwritten note. It feels like a sweet gesture, one that lets you send good vibes without too much fanfare. You can’t help but think of Sunghoon. He’s still on your mind, still lingering in the back of your thoughts, despite everything that’s happened.
You buy one for him, feeling a little hesitant but deciding it’s worth it. You want him to know that it’s okay to be himself, no matter how shy or reserved he might be. You’ve seen how he apologizes for being quiet, how he pulls away because he’s not sure what to do with attention. So, you write the message:
"You should never apologize for being yourself."
You add the little note at the end: "From a stranger." You don’t want to make things awkward or give him any false hope, but you want him to know that someone cares, even if you're supposed to be strangers now.
You wait all week, anticipation building, as the day to distribute the Halloweenogrammes finally arrives. Your heart skips a beat when you hear his name called. You hold your breath, waiting for him to do something, anything. You imagine he’ll smile, or maybe at least acknowledge it. But he doesn’t. The bag of candy sits in his hands as he leaves school, and you get no message, no acknowledgement, not even a glance in your direction. The silence stings more than anything. You were hoping for something, a tiny moment, just to show that it wasn’t all for nothing.
As the days pass, you can’t help but feel the weight of everything. You start to wonder if you misread the situation completely. It feels like he's slipped even further away, and that distance between you is growing more impossible to bridge.
So, you decide to send him one last message. You need closure, or at least an explanation, so you text him:
"Hey, I’ve been noticing you’ve been hiding more, and I feel like I’m making you uncomfortable. The bus situation and the way you’ve been avoiding me, I can’t help but feel like I’m the problem. I just wanted to let you know that I won’t bother you anymore, I won’t go near you again."
Your heart races as you send it, hoping that this will give you some answers, or at least some peace of mind.
A few minutes pass, and then your phone buzzes. His message comes through, and you hold your breath as you open it:
"It's not like I'm taking another bus because it's faster and closer :)"
You blink, rereading his message, confused and unsure what to make of it. He doesn’t mention anything about what you said. No apology, no explanation, just a comment about the bus. And then he adds:
"Don’t think about it too much."
Your mind is spinning. Why now? Why had he suddenly started taking a different bus when it wasn’t necessary? Why hadn’t he just done that before, when things were simpler? Why, when everything between you two was happening, did he choose this route?
You know the answer, but it doesn’t make sense. He never gave you a reason to stop. It’s not like he suddenly found a quicker way home—he could have taken the same bus before. You knew the stop he would get off at, it was a popular stop which had its location written on other buses. So why, now, when everything with you was starting to build up, did he suddenly choose to go a different way?
It doesn’t make sense. And yet, in some painful way, it feels like the final piece to the puzzle. Everything between you and him—the shy smiles, the awkward moments, the fleeting hope that something could happen—had finally come to an end. He was telling you, in his own quiet way, that he couldn’t handle this anymore, that he couldn’t keep up the connection, not even on a simple bus ride.
His message, though polite, felt like the closing of a door. It wasn’t harsh or cruel, but it wasn’t warm either. It was just… a goodbye without the words.
You close your phone, feeling the weight of everything settle in your chest. It’s over now, and you’re left with the quiet, final reality of it all. The movie moments you imagined for so long were never going to happen. And the silence, the distance, the unanswered questions—they’ll be the things you carry with you from here on out.
💌 Comments and reblogs are apreciated! 💌
#sunghoon x y/n#sunghoon smau#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon#sunghoon smut#sunghoon enhypen#sunghoon park#enha ff#sunghoon ff#sunghoon fanfic#sunghoon fanfiction#enha smau#enha x reader#enha imagines#enha fluff#enha#enha scenarios#enha angst#sunghoon angst#enhypen smau#enhypen ff#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fluff#enhypen#enhypen angst#kpop#kpop ff#angst#smau#fanfiction
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Updated/continuation of “the lads as your cats” due to the new event coming up 💕
Xavier is a playful kitty during the day. Curious and fascinated by everything you show him. He gets wild once you show him a cat wand but gives up easily. Too tired to actually catch it. Plus he gets distracted by your smile and laughter and simply stares up at you with those shiny blue doe-eyes in appreciation.
Weekends are spend only with him- he expects you to be with him when you don’t work…because, why wouldn’t you, If you’re free? Even if he sleeps for hours - yes, he wants you to watch him.
He loves sitting with you on your soft couch. Watching you on film nights. His back draped over your stomach with his head nestled in your chest. His ears twitch and press flat against his head once you scratch his favorite spot. He loves your thighs a lot too. He would rub his neck and face against your soft thighs. Purring up a storm.🩵
Rafayel is easily embarrassed and pouts innocently when you catch him breaking the “don’t steal clothes from your closet” rule. His lilac eyes flickering from yours, to the wall and back. I swear he hides a pile of your clothes in some hidden place. (His safe space)
He needs closure so often. Every single day. He’d meow at the door until you get home. Waiting to be picked up to nuzzle into your chest while purring softly. Hiding his shy face in your chest. His butt wagging and tail swaying in interest and affection. Absolutely adore being in your arms.
When you tried to put his collar on, he evaded you and played around with you. Sneaking away and hiding from you to mess around. But once it was on, he was gone to proudly show it off to other strays around the neighborhood. (Because he is a house cat, yes Rafa, we get it.)💜
Sylus acts nonchalant and that may trick others into thinking he dislikes people - which, is probably true but he likes you. A lot, and he shows it often. Curling up in your embrace, shamelessly love biting your hands.
He doesn’t mind the collar at all. He actually likes it. He is very attentive of you and your feelings. Protecting you and listing closely for any threatening noises with his keen hearing and sharp ears. Stranger danger.
Loves cuddling, mostly at night though. The petting sometimes getting too much for him and he is stuck between passive aggression and defeat, which ends up turning into love bites. He loves being close to your chest when you two snuggle up together. The sensation of your heart beating steadily, always calms him down. Knowing that you are healthy and safe with him. 🩷
Zayne loves you so much it’s sometimes a little drowning. He expresses it every chance he gets with faint meows and attentive hazel eyes staring up at you. If he could follow you everywhere, he would be there.
He seeks out your attention and affection all the time. But acts like it doesn’t face him when you don’t have time or ignores his obvious requests. He is not shy to show affection but maybe a bit timid when it comes to asking for yours.
Releasing deep purrs when you feed him. Yes, he expects you to feed him directly from your hand - which, he licks clean after.
When you cuddle up together, he would constantly groom and lick you. Usually your hands or cheeks. Barely biting. Gently “hugging” your finger with his canines. Definitely convincing himself that he takes well care of you…💚
#love and deepspace#cats#pets#lads rafayel#lads sylus#lads zayne#lads xavier#wholesome#cute animals#cute cats#cute
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By Your Side Feet?
Nanami x GN! Reader
Summary: You're afraid of the dentist and your dutiful boyfriend finds a way to help
Words: 1387
Warnings: None! Just fluff, Nanami being the perfect sweetie he is
A/N: There's no specified gender, pronouns, race etc. The only thing specified is the fear of the dentist and how (I personally) feel about it, that's it! Just something super quick. I got inspired by @teddybeartoji (seriously go chek them out!! I love their fics) Toji dentist fic, made me think about how Nanami would look after you which I hope to remember next time I have to go to the dentist!
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“It’s still bothering you, isn’t it” came Kento’s warm voice. Tinged with concern and almost perceptible disapproval. You, however, were nervously smiling up at him, acting as if you hadn’t just been caught massaging your jaw, “no, no it stopped, don’t worry.” Of course, you both new you were lying, something the two of you agreed to never do with one another and had stuck to over the course of your 2 year relationship. So it would be reasonable for Nanami to be annoyed, angry, betrayed feeling, anything like that. However, you’re seemingly infinitely patient boyfriend, held nothing but worry in his eyes as he peered down at you. Letting out a soft sigh, he sat down beside you on the couch of your shared home, hand coming up to cup your cheek, “You need to go to the dentist my love, before it gets any worse.” The deep frown that settled across your lips as you shrunk away from his kind but determined gaze had Kento feeling bad, he knew you disliked the dentist, even he wasn’t a fan, but he also knew you were in agony. It had been 2 weeks now, chewing food on the other side, making pained expressions and tentatively rubbing at your jaw when you thought he wasn’t looking and worst of all was the way you had teared up as you brushed your teeth.
The nervous shake of your head as you spoke only made him frown more, “It’s fine, Ken, it’ll sort itself out.” “Love, please, the pain isn’t worth it to avoid the dentist, I’ll come with you if that’d help at all?” He coaxed gently, the other hand reaching out and gently curling around your wrist to pull you into him. As his fingers settled against your pulse, he realised your heart was racing, and now he had a matching frown, “You’re that afraid?” Tears were quick to flood your lash line as you ducked your head, a feeling of shame swirling in your gut as you whispered, “Yeah.” Nanami wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as he rested his chin atop your head with a soft sigh.
He held you for a little while, waiting until you relaxed completely into him before speaking again, “Can you tell me why? Perhaps I can find some solutions for you, to make it easier.” With a deep sigh of resignation you tugged his hand into your lap, playing with his fingers to as you began to explain, “I never really worry about the pain, it’s never that bad, but the sensation of everything and how loud it all is just makes me so sick and always gives me a headache. Plus you can’t really move or anything, everything happens so fast and I never have a chance to prepare myself and even if you try to get them to stop they don’t always, just saying to hold on a bit longer. Just all of that is so overwhelming and makes me panic. Feels like I’m being tortured and can’t even move to get away. I know it’s stupid, but the fear and panic once it starts is just so all-consuming.” As you spoke, Kento listened intently, free hand gently rubbing along your back.
“First of all, it’s not stupid. Secondly, I had no idea it felt that way for you, for me its just, uncomfortable, but for you it sounds awful love, I’m so sorry.” He pressed a sot kiss to your temple, hoping to bring a bit more comfort. “I can come with you and we can ask about booking a longer appointment that way they can take their time. I can make sure they stop if you need a break and we can ask them to talk you through things so it’s not so fast. How does that sound?” Chewing nervously on your lip as you contemplated if that would actually help or not, eyes flickering up to meet his and relaxing a little again, “That could help.”
You’d spent the next hour talking about ways to make the whole thing easier on you, with the goal to make it tolerable more so than to fix it all. After that, Nanami had made an appointment for the following day and taking the day off work so that he could be with you the whole time as well as look after you afterwards. Despite all the preparation and talking, you were now sat in the dentist office, leg bouncing as you picked at your nails, mind reeling as the panicky feeling slowly climbed. Kento had signed you in and had just sat down beside you, hand coming to pry yours apart and interlock your fingers. “Breathe for me dear, deep breath in and hold, then out slowly, ready?” and he did as he asked of you, encouraging you to copy which you did. Between his calm hazel eyes and large warm hand encompassing yours, you felt that panic begin to subside, easing into a more manageable bubble of anxiety instead. That was until your name was called and it all came rushing back in an instant.
Nanami held your hand as you walked into the room, only letting go once you’d settled into the waiting dentists chair. He checked with the dentist before moving a chair over to sit by your feet, hand coming to rest on your ankle as a physical reminder he was there. The appointment took a long time, however every time you started to get jittery, Kento’s hands were massaging along your ankles and calves, the occasional softly spoken “You’re doing so well love” a reminder you weren’t alone. A reminder you weren’t trapped, that you could make it through. When you motioned for breaks the dentist listened after the first time where he had hesitated and was met with the clearing of Nanami’s throat and cold, stern look. The image would stay with you forever of you’re doting boyfriend, staring down your dentist and you couldn't help the small smile that tugged at your lips in response.
The second you were out of the chair, Nanami was pulling you in to his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “You did great, I’m so proud of you love, I love you.” And if the dentist and assistant were looking at you both funny, neither of you cared enough to notice, no, instead you were tucking yourself into him with a muffled “thankyou, I love you so much Kento, thankyou.” You walked back out, hand in hand, to pay for the appointment before leaving and climbing into the car. “Now, as promised, lets get that drink you love so much. We’ll order your favorite for dinner rather than lunch seeing as you’ll be numb for a little while” He mused, ruffling your hair as he pulled out of the clinic parking lot. “Hey, Ken, thankyou, really. You didn’t make me feel silly or childish, it sucked but it wasn’t as bad as it usually is so, thankyou.” He smiled, eyes flickering over to you before taking your hand in his, entwining your fingers as he brought them up to kiss the back of your hand. “Of course, I love you, I’ll never treat your fears as silly or childish. I’m just glad I helped even a little bit.”
The rest of the day was spent doing things you loved while Kento babied you. Curled up in Kento’s arms on the couch with a comfort movie playing was a great way to spend your afternoon, it certainly helped the memory of the dentist fade quickly. So, as you curled up together in bed for the night, face peppered in kisses from Kento that had you giggling, you couldn’t help but feel nothing but love. Love for Kento Nanami, a man who would drop everything to make you feel better, who never once would belittle your fears, who thought you were simply the most beautiful human being ever and truly felt happy just to be in your presence. The love held for one another truly shone in times like this, where he knew everything that made you happy and comfy and where you felt safe and stronger with him by your side, or in this case, your feet.
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#sfw#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk nanami#jjk kento#kento x reader#kento x y/n#fluff
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What did Og!Cale sacrifice?
Genuine question...
Hear me out;
I'm reading the latest chapter of 'In an Instant' by Messy_haired_bum and something just clicked in my head.
See, I know that the Og!Cale is a fan favorite, something that I didn't really understand because we don't know a whole lot about the guy, but there's just something that's been stopping me from getting enamored with him via various fanfictions I've read even though they've made the Og!Cale very lovable, and I didn't really know what it was, for a long time, until now.
There are various posts circulating around saying that Og!Cale sacrificed himself greatly with the deal he made with the GoD, and at a time, I believed that. But... reading this chapter opened my eyes and made me think, what did Og!Cale sacrificed?
What did he sacrifice that he didn't already lose?
A lot of ppl say that Og!Cale lost everything to be KRS but the only thing he had left was his identity. That's... not a lot to be honest. Not enough, actually.
Now, I can hear y'all thinking "Current!Cale got his wealth, backing, and a family–", but so did Current!KRS.
Current!KRS also didn't need to deal with a world war involving a megalomaniac, entire enemy nations, and a literal divine being.
Og!Cale was a foot soldier for 40 years, most likely didn't help a lot against Arm and The White Star, and he died without any (known) great feats but he's given such an amazing opportunity to take over the body of someone that'll need to deal with all those problems? An opportunity of rebirth that even Lee Soo Hyuk wasn't given until he gave one up of his abilities to help seal a deity?
He knows he couldn't shoulder the burden of saving the world so he just... washed his hands off that responsibility... And then occupied the body of a high-ranking well-known individual to then go off and get a happy ending with his reincarnated mom.
As the excerpt above said, it's a win-win for him, he doesn't get soul-crushing responsibilities, he gets a high-ranking position that grants him power, he can deal with the learning curve due to being given Og!KRS's abilities and having an actual reliable guide, and he gets to be back with his mom.
And...
... If Current!Cale ever fails?
He can just shrug and say it's not his problem anymore.
He's got his new happy life now. (I'm not saying he will, I'm just saying he could, if he was a lesser man)
Current!Cale lost everything he had too, all the fruits of his labors, the results of him dealing with all sorts of issues and problems for years, just... taken away by a stranger in his body. You can say KRS!Cale wasn't really happy, that Og!Cale didn't know if the body he'll end up in would be okay, that he gambled with his life in taking over Og!KRS's life.
Life that... he was about to lose anyways.
It just wasn't fair...
If we ignore the fact the KRS!Cale is literally thriving and just look subjectively at the situation of the body switch, KRS!Cale got the short end of the bloody, hellish, rotting stick.
I can only get closure if I personally find out if Og!Cale ever gave a fuck about the uninvolved, innocent guy that he sent to deal with a 20 year war, and not in the 'Is he doing the saving he's supposed to?' typa way, I want to find out if he ever feels guilty of the responsibility that he gave the man, if he ever worries for KRS!Cale's personal safety and mental health, for putting an innocent man through war. An innocent man that couldn't just stand by, as the world he found himself in, burns around him.
I don't want to dislike the current KRS, I want to love him actually, but this is my current perspective on the matter and you guys are free to share yours so that I can broaden my mindset about Og!Cale (pls do, I wanna like the guy but I wanna know if he's a good guy first, I wanna know why ppl love him so I can love him as well)
#tcf#lcf#tcf cale#tcf cale henituse#original cale henituse#og cale henituse#lcf cale#trash of count's family#trash of the count's#trash of the counts family#trash of the duke's family#trash of the count's family#lout of the count's family#lout of the counts family#lout of the count’s family#lout of count's family#cale henituse
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there is a problem that too often is bruce’s and bruce’s alone, and she feels it in her heart sometimes, sees it without meaning to see it at all. his fear of his own brutality is something she witnesses loud and clear as though it’s her own quiet pain. she knows what it is.
she leaves claw marks on everything she gets her hands on. she’s given him enough scars to know that. but he still lays here intertwined with her, and he still chases away the nightmares, and his laugh doesn’t make her recoil like it almost always can. instead, it rises, drops him with its beautiful curves, and she’s cradled and safe in the clear-cut clarity of his laugh. he doesn’t hurt her because he doesn’t want to, and when he laughs she thinks maybe she can believe in something.
is it difficult to think it’s not the batman who brings something hopeful out of her, but bruce?
his gentle chiding makes her meekly shy, she admits, half-curling with a tiny nibble at her lip. she glances up at him in a gaze curtained by dark lashes that begs her forgiveness — she just has a tendency, after all, to dislike herself. she’s never spoken decently a day in her life. (she thinks he would’ve laughed at her if they were kids. of course he would’ve. she was a different species, belonged more in a kennel, she felt, than a house.)
she crawls against him, up him like the kitten she can be, coiling with her good ear patiently listening to the patient beat of his heart. her gaze takes in his as he speaks and she’s enchanted — boyish promise echoes in the halls of his syllables. she sees the wonderment he’d felt for his mother in his kind blue eyes.
“‘course she was magic. where do you think you got it from? holly doesn’t listen to anyone except me. but she listens to you. you’ve got a gift.”
she winds a leg through his and closes her eyes and it feels less like she’s too small, only like she’s just small enough. she smiles, can’t help it. she can see this image so clearly in her mind — she wonders if he has his mother’s swift feet or his father’s deft hands, or if he’s just lucky enough for both. she’s proud of him for a reason she can’t explain. so she just nudges softly against him with her nose, smothering a little smile.
she can’t help it. her heart is too full and it spills over just so. onto him, always.
“you remember them so much. doesn’t it hurt? or was it so happy the hurt doesn’t matter?”
she asks it openly, all too aware of how strange it must sound, how helpless and hopeless and childish all at the same time. she is the pitiful creature she is, always, but merely herself to the marrow of her bones for him.
“—i just want you to be happy.” cherry nails, bitten at their circles in tiny smudges of forgotten red and polish alike, trace the planes of his face. “but I’m not great at understanding that, so you gotta cut me a little bit of slack.”
she almost shrinks when his raw, exposed tenderness throbs like a nerve. she almost gets smaller and smaller when she becomes no one. nothing. she feels almost like she’s accidentally upset him by such a burgeoning thing — she begins to apologize — before he silently bestows upon her an immense affection that flushes her, too, a warm pink. her eyes close in a slow, slow blink — felines do as much when they’re comfortable, when they’re happy. when they’re safe. he returns to his space and she unfolds back into it, strangely careful. grateful hands (how long have they been shaking?) take the cup and she takes a sip carefully before setting it aside. her thank you is murmured with infinite warmth.
“not sure about that, you big flatterer.”
hand raises ever so carefully to capture in her fingertips, to withhold within those dainty fingers the soft, dark shape of his hair. she hums musically her contentment and it floats lovingly, longingly across his brow and falls its symphony there for him to possess always.
“i’m a real shitty influence, y’know? and if we knew each other as kids, i would’ve probably made you cry.”
it’s the closest to a sentiment she has almost ever expressed. it feels frightening, to imagine a shape she cannot fathom. not one like him. her mouth twitches, dimples immediately visible like the landscape of a prefect ridge. an imperceptible tremor shoots through that prior statement. —she makes a soft little ugh, dramatic in tone.
“don’t remind me. even if she only wants to go to gotham u. it’s gonna kill me. it kills me to think about it now.”
and actually… she’s not kidding. selina thrives when she’s close to others. she does well. and her daughter is the most perfectly precious person she always wants around. lacking her, losing her, the concept of not having her? terrifying. but it’s an inevitability in life.
“will you tell me about them? …if it doesn’t suck to talk about. don’t do it if it sucks. seriously.”
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Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)
#mediocre art#tokyo ghoul#On some level I think I should like Kaneki more than I do but there's this weird sense of detachment#I have not only from him but being able to perceive him as a character?#I don't even dislike him it's just that I can't feel any which way about him at all. He's a catalyst for events#feels more like the conch from Lord of the Flies or something rather than a fictional person.#He doesn't suffer and learn from the consequences#he just suffers and does what got him there again. It's arguable that the lack of punishment denies him the satisfaction#but if that's the case why does he end the story with everything working out perfectly for him?#Why do his friends oblige his flaws and accept his lack of change?#Is the problem my lack of understanding or his lack of good writing?#Is he well written?#Why do I like a certain character from a different anime who's a very similar person with very similar dynamics#but with a goal and acceptance by himself and those around him that his actions really are reprehensible and cannot truly be atoned for#not only more but to the point that he's actually one of my favorites?#Am I just sitting upon a throne of entitlement#because his thought process and experiences are not catered to be applicable to and understood by myself?#GOD IF I KNOW ANYMORE#I'm not pressuring myself to like him or anything I just don't understand anything about kaneki these days and I don't know why
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Okay okay fine
We’ll talk about Scott (1/18 traffic analysis)
I’m gonna start by saying if you’re a die hard Scott fan you probably won’t like this, I’m not the biggest fan of his. Please go look at my other posts or just ignore this.
I’m starting a new thing where I just don’t want to ruin something for someone but I am a little hater.
I’m also so incredibly biased and not in his favor.
Also just about characters!!
So with that out of the way……
Scott!!
Honestly I think people mischaracterize him a lot. Which who cares do whatever you want forever but for the sake of this you’re wrong <3
Let’s start with 3rd life!
I don’t like how he treats Jimmy. I’m so sorry flower husband fans I totally get the appeal!! It’s like yeah Jimmy is a goof and he’s bad at stuff but like Scott doesn’t think Jimmy can do anything right. He berates him and makes fun of him to other people. He’s nice to him only for the benefit of himself, so he won’t drag down their team.
He expects his death.
Isn’t that tragic? He makes a widow’s alliance like he can’t wait for him to die. Like it’s expected. Jimmy’s not cursed yet. It’s not likely he’s going to win or anything but you can’t believe in him at all? You have zero faith he can live past you?
It’s so demeaning. It comes across as him thinking he’s better than Jimmy and I think he does believe that.
Of course in the end Scott seems pretty heart broken but the reason he doesn’t go through with his new alliance is because Cleo died.
Then we have the home scene at the end which is sweet but doesn’t make Scott any less annoying to me.
Scott never gets overcome with bloodlust which is interesting because of how many kills he has. That’s all him, no revenge, very little red/boogy bloodlust, he kills because he can.
What is the bloodlust just not strong enough for you? Too good for that too?
Okay he teams up with Pearl in last life because he hopes she will give him a life. Just for teaming up with him? And she does of course.
At least Ren had something to offer undying loyalty and willingness to die for Lizzie.
Like that’s a deal worth taking.
Pearl at least is like you gotta prove your worth somehow?
Then again he’s trying to team up with Cleo like real shit I guess, I would too. it just feels shity to me. If I was teamed with Scott I’d question whether or not he really cared about me at all.
He just comes off as selfish in any situation he can. I should probably give him a little credit, he is in a death game.
It’s the way people portray him as this guy who’s very morally superior and doesn’t play dirty.
But he’s ALWAYS playing dirty.
He’s constantly manipulating everyone around him.
He’s such an asshole to me idk
He’s telling Scar that they’re friends and allies but he never does anything for Scar or spend any time with him. Ditching him when Cleo tries to stay aligned with him after they get a life from him.
He very easily lies to whoever he wants to and gets away with it. His actions never catch up to him. He’s never held accountable and he’s constantly being rewarded for lying and manipulating the people around him.
Anyway the start of my hated journey is double life because he’s the worst in this.
I don’t understand why Cleo and Scott are so butt hurt about not finding their soulmates, it was funny though so I’m not upset about that.
When Pearl comes and finds him, he expects her to grovel like Martyn does. They didn’t really do anything wrong though? They were both properly geared up and it’s not like they were the only people trying to get recourses?
It’s nonsensical after listening to their explanation to still be upset, but they don’t listen or hear them out they just want to be begged for forgiveness.
Pearl of course was not going to do that and she of course is not innocent and antagonized him after that.
He’s not forgiven by me for what he did to Pearl for letting her win. She should have killed him.
That is not Scott’s only sin, what kinda douche builds a ranch specifically so you can make one better than your friends? The ranch by the way was also created to break up other peoples relationships while gaslighting them about that very fact.
Cleo and Scott spend all of double life trying to manipulate the different soul bounds because they are unhappy in their own.
Scott’s defining characteristic is being petty.
Limited life we have all the sacrifices he does, overdone at this point.
He’s so cocky. I feel like people miss that. He antagonizes and tries to get people to want to kill him. Which is how Scott has killed Joel so many times.
Scott is annoying so Joel will want to kill him but he keeps getting him.
In limited life specifically it’s so jabansksjsjsj
Because Joel is just trying to stay in the game longer he’s getting desperate and a little deranged and Scott just keeps killing him. I don’t how many kills but it was over kill.
Ugh and how he acts around Jimmy, like respect his boundaries. MAYBE theirs a good reason he doesn’t want to be around you, FREAK.
Keep the stupid pufferfish to yourself he’s over you!!
I get the ick or whatever
Ahem
Then he lets Martyn kill him for time and then the win and like where’s the drama???
Scott frfr would had another basic bitch ending like thank you Martyn for being the one interesting guy here.
Secret life
All of his actions became unforgivable when he didn’t let western duo team up, genuinely wanted to strangle him.
God again with the thinking you have some authority with what Jimmy does and thinking you know better than these grown people.
MAYBE some people are here for a good time, a loyal time, a fun time! Not a long time, but YOU wouldn’t know anything about that.
I appreciate the growth this time the final self sacrifice kill did have drama, but it was mostly Gem sounding genuinely devastated about killing him. (Idk know why that’s devastating I’m still upset about Jimmy and Scar not teaming)
I honestly don’t remember anything about real life really don’t count any of that as canon besides Cleo being a winner and Joel getting motion sickness really easy.
My hatred might actually be mostly the Jimmy and Scar thing and the fandoms interpretation.
I feel like he’s either worse than you think or just as bad but in a different way???
Kill the twink in your head.
#I do appreciate how he hasn’t won and doesn’t try to then I might come to his house.#I’m a little hater#traffic analysis#traffic shipping#just in case#life series#traffic life smp#scott smajor#anti Scott smajor#jimmy solidarity#grian#pearlescentmoon#zombie cleo#character analysis#yapping#goodtimeswithscar#Scott smajor analysis#Scott character analysis#1/18#anti flower husbands#I feel like I dislike him so much because that’s a real person I know in real life and he’s also a twink#for the lols#I’m really out here#i’m frightened#don’t argue with me unless you’re cool#it’s hard to be respectful of other options in like an argumentative essay#my point doesn’t come across as well if I’m like it’s cool if you don’t agree after everything I say#I’m still scared anyway
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gang i have to share this P. G. Wodehouse quote with you all because ever since I found it I can't stop thinking about it. it's from a letter he wrote when he was 78 years old to his friend Guy Bolton (many thanks to P. G. Wodehouse: A Life in Letters)
I have been on the sick list myself, but am better now. Inflamed bladder or chill on the bladder or something, the symptoms being agony when I passed water, as the expression is. It brought back the brave old days when I used to get clap.
he really said "yeah the pain from my bladder issue reminds of the days when I used to have so much sex I repeatedly got venereal disease"
#red randomness#p. g. wodehouse#he was so known for not having sex with his beloved wife#that i truly didn't expect this at all#i feel like i see a lot of people saying with a great deal of confidence that he was sex-repulsed ace#especially due to the wife thing#but while he certainly may have been ace on some level#i feel like at the very least this casts some doubt on the sex-repulsed part lmao#i suppose it's possible he was lying but wouldn't this be such a specific and unnecessary lie in this context?#especially for a private letter to a friend he'd known and worked with for decades#because he really didn't even need to bring it up#of course i am open to evidence to the contrary#i just dislike seeing overconfident opinions broadly prevail#even when aspects of a real person's life suggest the possibility of otherwise#the study of history is meant to breed discussion!#and something that goes against the grain of past assumption is certainly worth discussing imo#also very grateful to the unpublished monograph by George Simmers about Honeysuckle Cottage#because that's how i found out about this letter in the first place!#great monograph mr. simmers please publish it someday#opened my third eye about the potential latent homosexuality in that story (among other things)#and at risk of having someone get mad at me or say i'm trying to like. diminish or slander the ace community by saying this#please don't assume that. that's why i've been afraid to share this before.#i'm not confidently stating wodehouse is anything. he's a real man who lived and i didn't know him#but by the same token neither does anyone else#i'm just as tired of people in history who have a fair amount of suggestion of being aroace being broadly assumed gay#despite evidence to the contrary#or people confidently assigning queerness to historical figures when evidence of them being queer in any way is ambiguous at best#everything in history is a maybe. we just collect facts and analyze them.#and my current analysis based on this line is that i'm not sure i think he was very sex-repulsed after all#(but like. i'm not going around insulting or fighting people about it in dms or something. and neither should you)
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I agree with you but there's only one thing that I disagree with and I dislike that people bought Nexus' lies about Sun..
But Sun didn't actually constantly compare Nexus to Moon..
Remembering something that Moon did is not a comparison..
Misremembering what Nexus did and what Moon did is not comparing them..
Sun saying "Moon would do x" when he saw Nexus not knowing what to do is not comparing Nexus to Moon..
That wasn't Sun's intention in any of these instances or it never came off as like that to me..
But I get it Nexus felt like that but again he was mistaken..
It's like a situation when you lost your close one and got someone else in their place and you said "x used to do y" - this is just a normal statement but Nexus read a tone that wasn't even there.. he thought Sun was comparing him to his abuser which is untrue..
Nexus is as much at fault for this as Sun is.. because Nexus was mistaken and he based his assumptions about Sun on these misunderstandings which he never cared to clarify with Sun..
So is it really that much that Sun was constantly comparing Nexus to Moon.. or maybe it's actually that Nexus assumed shit about Sun without talking with him about this..
I will never blame Sun for "constantly comparing Nexus to Moon" because that never happened..
The only thing that I'm certain that was Sun's fault and it was wrong of him to do was that he lied to Nexus.. that he hid from Nexus that he was conduit for star's power..
And he regretted that.. he apologized for that..
The rest is Nexus making things up in his head and getting mad about it..
His feelings are valid but the moment he started using it as justification for his awful actions and to be awful towards people who care about him he lost any credibility and sympathy..
Cause normally people try to talk things out and then try to work together through their issues..
But Nexus never tried to talk with Sun.. he only talked with Sun when everything went downhill..
Even though Sun wanted to talk but he respected that Nexus didn't want to talk..
So who's fault it is actually?
"or did you only started caring when everything went downhill?" (not exact same words) maybe you should ask this yourself, Nexus..
Or maybe Nexus actually was projecting onto Sun.. and to justify his hate he clinged onto Sun's slip ups and few mistakes to feel better about himself..
Cause "Sun is worse than me so I don't have to feel bad about myself. It's actually all his fault"..
I bet that's what Nexus was repeating to himself to feel better about himself..
I hope that you don't feel like I'm attacking you, friend 😭
Cause it's not my intention..
I'm just tired that many fans bought this false narration that Sun was constantly comparing Nexus to Moon..
Yes Nexus was compared to Moon..
But not by Sun..
I ask those who says that we should rewatch episodes with early Nexus to see that everyone was comparing Nexus to Moon to watch it again.. but more carefully..
Because maybe then they'll see that Sun wasn't constantly comparing Nexus to Moon..
It's just a total bs that Nexus was repeating to himself..
And people bought it because for some reason people believe in everything a villain say..
Even though often times their perspective is skewed and their beliefs are based on false assumptions..
And people then tend to say "hey that's how these villains feel and it's valid"..
Yeah it's valid but should we invalidate the harm they caused by their actions simply because their feelings are valid.. no
But I doubt that this fandom is ready for such discussions when all they do is to babify villains as if they could never do any wrong..
Bzbxbxbxnxbnxnxbbxbxbxb
I'm sorry friend.. don't take it as an attack on you because my frustration isn't aimed at you at all but at how popular this false narration became that Sun constantly compared Nexus to Moon..
TW RANT - I may come off as rude here so I'm sorry in advance but people being too mad at Sun for everything that happened to Nexus just start to annoy me a bit especially when they act as if Sun basically abused Nexus
Sun doesn't need any excuses for how things were with him and Nexus at the beginning cause for what reason?
Sun never compared Nexus to Moon..
Nexus felt this way but if he cared to listen to Sun he'd understand that he was mistaken..
Because all Sun tried to say is that he doesn't want Nexus to do everything by himself while he's sitting there doing nothing just like it was with Moon..
Because at the time when Sun decided to be conduit for star's power Nexus was already taking care of everything by himself while Sun was doing nothing..
Just like it was with Moon..
It wasn't okay for Sun to lie but it wasn't okay for Nexus to yell his head of at Sun and refuse to listen to him and refuse to understand why Sun did what he did..
I wish to say something about people who defend early Nexus but I'll refrain myself cause I don't want to start any drama..
"nothing can excuse Sun for mistreating Nexus" it's a hella weird hill to die on..
Because what mistreating? The one Nexus made up in his head? And he never even cared to communicate with Sun and by that I mean that he also let Sun speak up and only yell "Me, myself and I" because that's not how communication works..
And what excuse? What y'all on about?
Sun apologized every time for when Nexus expressed being hurt..
But Nexus didn't care..
Or oh wait no.. Nexus just is too much of a coward to admit that he was afraid that Sun will die..
Why he never try to talk with Sun about anything..
Because he was a coward..
And now he chose hate.. because hating is easier..
The only wrong thing that Sun did was that he lied to Nexus.. but ofc is so good to held one mistake over someone's head forever, right?
As if Nexus never did any mistakes..
And ofc Nexus was worried about Sun well-being but he also actively pushed him away and was neglectful towards him..
But no one cares how it made Sun feel because apparently only poor Nexus' feelings are the most important thing..
#tw rant#sun and moon show#sams#sams sun#it's a rant#and i'm sorry if i sound rude#so if you don't like reading mean things#sams nexus#or if you dont't want to get angry or don't want negativity#don't read it#i just needed to get it out of my chest#i'm sorry friend#i'm not angry at you at all#i'm tired of seeing that sun “constantly compared nexus to moon”#when that's not what happened
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The Nexus podcast episode was... Enlightening.
Yet also disappointing.
I dislike Solar ragging on Nexus for never telling anyone how he felt. But here's the problem, HE HAS. He told Sun he hated being compared to the old Moon, he told Earth in his two therapy sessions it's something he struggled with. He even said he'd be happy if he mediated a conversation between him and Sun.
He told Solar that he hates being compared to one of the dead ones. N!Moon legit told them at almost every opportunity and then he acted out when his needs weren't being met and left alone to grieve with no support.
Nexus also continued to honestly tell his family his issues even when he was corrupted, but everyone dismissed him as being manipulative or gaslighting. I feel like he was, no doubt, but he was also so desperately trying to be heard.
So I don't know where this "but you told nobody and had no one to blame but yourself" is coming from
Nexus is definitely made his own choices, but he was extremely manipulated and put in those situations by Dark Sun in the first place and it's not like the family lifted a finger to be there for him when he as N!Moon did everything to be there for them.
Yes. A lot of Nexus's pain is self inflicted... But not all of it was. And to say that Nexus never told anyone is disingenuous to the narrative.
Also Solar saying no at Nexus's desire to be his own person and calling Nexus's wants self pity????? WHAT.
Solar No??? NO? What do you mean No????? I think Nexus's desire to want time to learn who he is as a person is like... Fucking reasonable. I don't think it's realistic especially for what everyone was going through at the time. But like. Nexus just wanted a sense of identity and time to grow up. He just wanted to grow up. It's not a realistic want, but it's a reasonable and understandable one.
Do I think that a lot of what Nexus's pressure felt was self inflicted. Yes. Was it all self inflicted? No.
Like... I do agree that some of Nexus's pressure was self inflicted. But them saying it all was is very invalidating and infantalizing to him like... Saying his feelings don't matter. .....everyone's feelings are valid unless you're Nexus I guess.
#tsams#the sun and moon show#tsams Nexus#thoughts on nexus#danachan's rants#sorry im not even salty just sad
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Pan-Pan, Boléro, and Minkowski's different responses to loss
I want to compare two key lines of Minkowski's which indicate very different responses to grief:
In Ep29 Pan-Pan, Minkowski breaks down and says "Doug Eiffel is gone! There was nothing we could do to save him. It wasn't anyone's fault. It's horrible, and pointless, and it just happened."
In contrast, after arriving at the funeral in Ep46 Boléro, she says "[Lovelace, Hilbert and Maxwell are dead] to make the fact that we're not gone yet important. They're gone... so that we never forget how important it is that we're still here."
TL;DR: In Pan-Pan, Minkowski expresses her unprocessed grief through despair and hopelessness. Whereas in Boléro, she is able to find hope in the loss and lead her crew in trying to move forward. I suggest a significant reason of the difference is the presence of Eiffel to force Minkowski to confront and process the sense of loss.
Pan-Pan: "It's horrible, and pointless, and it just happened"
In Pan-Pan, the whole episode is full of anger and despair, but Minkowski speaking about the horrible pointlessness of losing Eiffel is one of the most painful and hopeless moments. It doesn't feel like she's really speaking to the others. She's focused on her internal despair (as suggested by the fact that she goes on to talk about the cracks, which Lovelace and Hilbert aren't supposed to know about).
The only potentially positive thing Minkowski says here is her recognition that "it wasn't anyone's fault". When Hera and Hilbert have been blaming Lovelace, and Minkowski has been blaming herself, it's significant that she acknowledges that sometimes a horrible thing just happens without there being anyone to blame.
But in this context, and in the tone of voice Minkowski uses, even the lack of blame doesn't really feel like a positive thing. If Eiffel becoming stranded was just pointless and random, if there was nothing any of them could have done to save him, then the next tragedy might be just as unpredictable and unpreventable. Minkowski strikes me as the kind of person who can sometimes fall into the trap of subconsciously wishing that the awful thing is her fault because then at least she'd have control over something. In her train of thought here, the lack of blame is followed by focusing on how horrible and pointless what happened to Eiffel was. The only conclusion she can draw is "it just happened". There's no sense of hope in those lines. Eiffel being stranded just happened, and so do the cracks, and the crew are at the whims of brutal fortune with no meaning to any of it.
Boléro: "They're gone... so that we never forget how important it is that we're still here"
In Boléro, Minkowski can't even say that the tragedy wasn't anyone's fault. For each of the deaths, someone pulled a trigger. There is blame, and some of it lies at her feet. She didn't want to come to the funeral because at first she didn't know what she could say about the deaths she feels responsible for.
Yet even so, this time she finds something reassuring she can say to her crew, a grain of hope she can provide without attempting to diminish the loss: "[they're gone] to make the fact that we're not gone yet important. They're gone... so that we never forget how important it is that we're still here."
In another show, or another context, this kind of line might have had an 'everything happens for a reason' tone, which is something I deeply dislike as a response to other people's loss. But it doesn't feel like that's what Minkowski is saying here at all. She isn't trying to make any grand philosophical statement about the ultimate beneficence of the universe, or about how mortality gives meaning to human life. What she says here is working on a much more personal level. It's more about finding something other than despair that the crew can take from what has happened. This tragedy may still be horrible, but it provides a reminder that they are still alive in a context where that's far from guaranteed. Minkowski emphasises that the fact the survivors are alive matters - her crew matters. I'd argue that this contrasts with the 'it just happened' outlook discussed above.
I don't know how much Minkowski fully feels the importance of them still being there in the moment, but it's something that she can offer her crew, something that she can say in a situation that words can't grasp. I think the moment when she joins the funeral is such a key moment of her leadership. In the end, despite her doubts and struggles, she's there for her crew. Eiffel brought them together for a funeral, but he doesn't know what to say when Hera asks why they have to be gone. Minkowski enters just at the right moment to support her crew and she provides an answer to Hera's question. It's not a perfect answer, but it allows the funeral to move forward. It allows the crew to move forward (even if that emotional movement is somewhat thrown off by a dramatic change in the circumstances). Minkowski starts off the eulogies; she leads her crew in the acknowledgement of what's been lost.
Why such a difference in responses?
There's lots of ways you could interpret the difference between the outlook of these two moments, and there's probably more to say about it though the lens of Minkowski's character development than I'm going to say here. But for me, the main difference between these moments is that, in Pan-Pan, it feels like no processing or recognition of grief has really occurred. When Minkowski says "Doug Eiffel is gone!", it almost feels like the first time that Minkowski has fully confronted and acknowledged the loss. Eiffel has been lost in space for 116 days, but it's only at the end of this episode that Minkowski brings herself to say in her distress calls that he is "presumed dead". Whereas in Boléro, she's already eulogising the dead and thinking about what can be learned from the loss, not even a full day after the mutiny.
Obviously there is much less ambiguity to a body bag (or least there would be, if not for alien interference). But I can't help thinking that the difference between the attitudes towards loss which Minkowski displays in these two quotes is less about the difference in the kind of loss, and more about a situation that prompted and enabled the processing of emotions in Boléro: namely, the funeral. After Eiffel was stranded in space, I think Minkowski probably went months without looking her grief in the eye. But after the deaths of Lovelace, Hilbert, and Maxwell, Eiffel's suggestion of a funeral forces Minkowski to confront her complicated emotions and provides a space in which she can offer direction to her grieving crew.
This is a good illustration of how I think Minkowski and Eiffel complement and support each other in a really valuable way. On his own, Eiffel couldn't provide the leadership that the crew needed for the funeral to work. But without Eiffel, and his determination to recognise the emotional weight of the three deaths, the funeral would never have happened and Minkowski would never have been in a position to provide hope and direction to her crew. When Eiffel was the one the Hephaestus crew were grieving, Minkowski couldn't offer much emotional direction to her crew beyond despair. But when Eiffel is beside her in the grief, saying that the grief deserves to be felt, then Minkowski can find a way for them to move forward emotionally. It's not the deaths that remind them how important it is that they are still here. It's the grief. It's the ability to confront that grief together.
#Wolf 359#w359#Renée Minkowski#Renee Minkowski#Doug Eiffel#I know that this is a lot to say about two short-ish quotes but I think they are symbolic / indicative of broader patterns#Also some of this probably contradicts things that I've said at other points#about how Minkowski dealt with Eiffel being stranded in space#But it's complicated. okay?#Sometimes I want to think about her grieving him and what that would look like#And sometimes I want to think about how in his absence she's much less able to process her emotions at all#Either way I'm emotional about them#This wasn't even initially meant to be a Minkowski & Eiffel post tbh#I just had this thought as I was writing this#It also wasn't meant to be 1000 words but these things just happen#Btw when I say I dislike the idea 'everything happens for a reason'#I fully respect if people find that a useful approach for their own personal misfortunes#but as soon as you start saying it to anyone else who is suffering#it feels distasteful to me#Maybe everything happens for a reason but sometimes the reason is shit etc#Eiffel & Minkowski#w359 spoilers#Wolf 359 spoilers#the empty man posteth#tw death#tw grief
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I feel like what hurts me most about Sparrow being all “I’m not proud of you” isn’t that he said it, cause I could already kinda guess that from the first scene.
It’s just that normal doesn’t seem to have had any inclination of it prior. Like, to him that’s just his dad being his dad. Not his dad trying to nudge him into being more normal.
And that’s exactly why Normal believes his dad hates him (at least in my mind). Cause as humans we are built to remember the bad as a way of survival, and normal probably can only think about the times he’s seen his dad cringe and how he’s so stupid for just thinking his dad was worried (even if he was worried and not in fact cringing.) like every memory gets corrupted with this new realization. When Teeny won the mascot contest was your dad actually smiling at how happy you were or was he just avoiding a scene, Did he actually enjoy watching those anime movies with you and hero when you were little or are you misremembering, was your uncle trying to warn you that you shouldn’t trust when your dad says he loves you, and so on and so on.
#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndaddies#normal oak swallows garcia#normal oak#sparrow oak swallows garcia#sparrow oak garcia#I mentioned lark and hero but I’m not gonna tag them cause it’s more father son focused#this is also coming from someone who overthinks everything#if this is confusing I’m sorry#like when Lincoln places together all the little sniper stuff his dad did#honestly that’s probably why part of me doesn’t like sparrow#y’know I love sparrow but I don’t want to show him off to people#I don’t even dislike him though#you think my therapist would let me figure out what I feel about sparrow in a session#another good example might be Nick getting all of his memories of Glenn back#you love your dad but you have an example of a father that is at least from what we know so much better#Honestly Nick and Normal might need to talk about looking back at memories with new knowledge
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Spoilers for Alan Wake/Control games and DLCs: one of the things I really like in Alan Wake 2 is the confirmation that, no, Alan can’t create something out of nothing. There were implications in-story that supported that, but it was good to have that be a big part in the sequel. The AWE control dlc easily made it seem like Alan himself had a role in the events of the game and the formation of the FBC, and, personally, seeing it through that lens cheapened a lot of the game and Jesse’s story. Instead, having his writing influence the Hiss and try to manipulate (even out of desperation) Jesse/the FBC to end Hartman and get help, fit right into plot and conflicts of Alan Wake 2, with Alan being sympathetic, but also an asshole for trying to change and control people’s lives in his writing.
#since the awe dlc dropped I was slightly worried that it was going the meta route of Alan writing everything in control#but since Alan wake 2 I’ve been. thank god that wasn’t the case 😭#this way makes everything more complicated and mysterious. which I appreciate. makes everything creepier#will say. it’s still wild how much Alan can influence the narrative.#light spoilers for the final draft but—> makes me think of the writers room video where he doesn’t know what he’ll be at the spirals end#like I don’t think he’ll be Evil or anything. but it’s unnerving#might delete#Alan Wake 2 my beloved#so many times in that game it could’ve gone a direction that would’ve lessened or soured the story but somehow it didn’t lmao#more game spoilers but for ex: Alice coming back at the end instead of leaving it with her demise in the documentary#when I first saw that it was devastating. but also wasn’t sure what to feel if that’s how she’s gone from the story#having her actually manipulate her photos. become art to make Alan think she died. go to the dark place and help him and saga#that last video left me Speechless it was so good.#esp after how much I disliked Control (spoilers here) for quickly ending with Dylan in a coma and not much else.#could not be happier with how the AW2 ending played out and the clear love for all its characters#REALLY hope that Control 2 ends in a good or interesting place. give dylan some focus!#not tagging this bc I’m just yelling my thoughts. but knowing tumblr it will somehow be seen on every tag 😵💫
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