#and it’s everyone from women who are grandmothers now to people who recently lost kids

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one of the most beautiful things is the comment section when someone talks about losing a baby because there are so many people of all ages going “don’t worry my child is up there too and they’ll play with her till you get there” or “my sister had two kids and passed away so she’ll take care of her in the mean time” or “my parent is up there so she’ll have a grandma/grandpa waiting for her”. genuinely sobbing over this

[joshjacksons]

Joshua Jackson interview with “Irish Independent”

It was during a childhood visit to his granny’s house in Dublin’s Ballyfermot that Joshua Jackson smoked his first cigarette.

“My memories of those visits to Ballyfermot are quite sweet really,” the Dawson’s Creek actor recalls. “I was always running around with the neighbourhood kids, getting into trouble. Not bad trouble, just little-kid trouble. Although, technically it’s where I smoked my first cigarette, so that in itself isn’t the sweetest memory.”

Jackson’s handsome face surges with deep laughter lines and quiet dimples at the mention of mum Fiona’s home turf. “She might prefer I’d say she was from Chapelizod”, he jokes, before proudly pinning his mum’s allegiance to “Ballyer”.

Was the young Canadian treated like a shiny, exotic object by the local kids? “I was a bit, but I became less exotic the older I got. Culturally, I was so far away from an Irish kid but in a little pack of children, everyone finds their level. It also helped that I had my own cousins, my own blood, around with us. I had that family connection so I never felt too exoticised.”

An entry on his IMDb profile suggests his late grandparents Rosemary and Patrick were opera singers in Dublin, indicating that performance runs in the genes. The actor seems unaware. “Mum tells me they used to sing to each other a lot. My grandparents lived in council housing with a little kitchen out the back, garden right outside, and they would sing to each other through the window as he was out pottering about while she was cooking.

“But he was known more as a snooker shark around Ballyfermot. And my grandmother, she was known as a sainted mother of seven.”

Having welcomed his first child, Janie, with his wife, the actor Jodie Turner-Smith, last year, it’s obvious family is paramount for 43-year-old Jackson, as he Zoom-calls from a rich hotel suite with dark wallpaper and plump cushions in the background. It stems from an evident bond with his mum, whose presence lovingly peppers our conversation. Just 16 when she left Dublin, Fiona Jackson travelled through Paris, Amsterdam and Geneva before embracing the vibrancy of London’s Swinging Sixties and ultimately making for Vancouver in her early twenties.

In an entry on her blog, she speaks of falling for “the spectacular beauty of snow-capped mountains and the Pacific Ocean” and ultimately scoring an entry-level position at a Canadian talent agency. It led to a career as a successful casting agent, working on film classics including Carnal Knowledge with Jack Nicholson and McCabe & Mrs Miller with Warren Beatty and Julie Christie.

She met and married Joshua’s father, John Carter, and the young family moved to Los Angeles. Sister Aisleagh was born shortly before John walked out on the family, leaving a profound effect.

“My father, unfortunately, was not a good father or husband and exited the scene,” the actor disclosed last year, before adding it’s something he “will never get over”.

Young infants in tow, Fiona returned to Vancouver and, having found early success in casting, helped contribute to the foundation of the burgeoning “Hollywood North” industry on the Canadian west coast.

Accompanying his mum on set, young Joshua’s interests were piqued. “She introduced me to this world and saw from a young age that I enjoyed performing in a way that kids do. She allowed me the opportunity to step into her work world, but it was also very clear that it was work.”

He appeared as an extra on MacGyver and as a child actor’s double in The Fly II, and Fiona could see her son’s talent and genuine desire to impress. So she allowed him to audition. However, permission came with strict caveats.

“I don’t think my mum would have ever put me anywhere near the entertainment industry if I didn’t have something to offer to it. And not just for myself; she’s a prideful woman and didn’t want to be embarrassed by her kid.”

Casting 1991 melodrama Crooked Hearts with ER’s Noah Wyle, Fiona gave Joshua a chance to shine. Impressing the filmmakers, the then-12-year-old secured the part, setting him not only on a path to stardom but away from the troubles of his teen years.

“My mother gave me the guard rails I needed at that time and also recognised, being a working single mum and with me a young boy, transitioning into a teenager, I needed structure in my life. I needed something that I was passionate about and had a respect for, because I was kind of a typical teenage disaster.

“I look back on those times in my life and the two parallel tracks I was running on. On the one hand, getting into all sorts of trouble and, on the other hand, my professional life, where I showed up and learned my lines and did my job in order to be respected by the adults I was around. If I hadn’t had that professional side of my life, the other side would have taken over, and Mum saw that. Who knows where I would have ended up?”

So Jackson was a full-on teen delinquent? “Yeah, I was, to a certain extent. It was relatively innocent — nobody died — but I was a teenage boy who didn’t have a father in the home, didn’t have a man to be scared of, frankly, and as a teenage boy, I think that helps. My mum had to work and she wasn’t always in the house so I learned to get into more and more trouble. I got into just enough trouble to have a good time and learn some lessons but if I hadn’t had my work life, I might have tipped over into the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.”

Three decades in and Jackson remains one of the hardest-working, most recognisable actors in the game. Hitting pay dirt at 18 as Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey Witter — the wisecracking, teacher-bedding antithesis to James Van Der Beek’s beleaguered titular drip — the actor was a revelation: the soul and bite of a seasoned character performer in the guise of relatable poster-boy idol.

Teens swooned, so did the industry, and alongside Van Der Beek, Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes, Jackson had Hollywood at his feet.

A string of popcorn offerings followed — Cruel Intentions, Gossip, Shutter, Cursed — some quality, others derivative, with the small screen ultimately best utilising his skills. A five-season run on sci-fi series Fringe was followed by an outstanding turn on Showtime’s The Affair. Last year, he maintained a brooding presence opposite Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington in Little Fires Everywhere. And this year, he takes on arguably his darkest work yet in Dr Death.

The new miniseries is based on the non-fiction podcast of the same name, and Jackson portrays Christopher Duntsch, a former spinal surgeon who maimed 33 patients owing to gross malpractice while operating in hospitals in Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas. Two of these patients lost their lives. Convicted in 2017, Duntsch is currently in prison and serving life imprisonment. He still maintains his innocence, with his defence arguing that he was merely a bad surgeon, not a criminal.

Exuding a simmering malevolence, the actor showcases Duntsch’s disturbing complexities and terrifying behaviour as a narcissist and sociopath with a keen insight. Did Jackson meet with Duntsch? “I wanted to, but that was going to be really difficult because he’s appealing his case and his lawyers would’ve advised against it. And as I got deeper into the materials and podcast, and got a better understanding of the man, I don’t think it would’ve helped because he still really believes he’s the victim of his own patients, and the lawyers and the legal system. I’m not sure asking a liar for the truth gets you any closer to the truth.”

When it came to the victims, Jackson wanted to maintain a respectful distance. “I didn’t need to drag them through those awful memories again and I’m always a little dubious about asking people to delve into the worst moments of their life just to satisfy my curiosity. The questions had already been asked thanks to the podcast.”

Dr Death came at the right time in the actor’s life. New baby daughter Janie offered a crucial respite from the intense, and often dark, six-month foray into Duntsch’s malignant psyche.

“Inhabiting Mr Duntsch was an ugly space to live in for six months. If I’d been coming home to an empty house every night, it would have been a pretty bleak existence. It was so much better to come back to a loving home. My one-year-old doesn’t give a damn what I was doing that day. She just wants to be loved and hugged and cuddled, and it was the perfect antidote when some days were particularly heavy.”

Recently Jackson confessed that the Dawson’s Creek cast won’t be returning for a retrospective reunion like the Friends stars did earlier this year. “If you put our mid-forties selves together on a couch now, with our creaking backs, it might shock people.”

Quizzed on an actual reboot of the drama, Joshua reckons he’s simply too old to replicate the iconic rapid exchanges of dialogue between the garrulous young characters. “We were like The West Wing for teenagers,” he laughs, referencing Aaron Sorkin’s hit political TV series, also infamous for speedy script delivery. “My 43-year-old brain couldn’t do a show at that pace. Back then, we were doing seven, 10 pages a day and, to deliver dialogue at that speed, you have to have a certain mental capacity for that, and I don’t have it anymore. That’s the real reason why we’re not doing a reunion — I’ve become too dumb to keep up with that script.”

He remains in touch with his DC co-stars, including Holmes, his one-time girlfriend of two years. There’s even a text chain. “It goes through spurts every once in a while. I’ll have a bunch of messages on it and then it’ll go dormant. We’re like college friends — there are moments we’re all in contact and then long, fallow periods as we get on with our lives.”

While maintaining a busy slate, Jackson’s overwhelming purpose continues to circle the women in his life. Turner-Smith is currently shooting a new movie with Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig, so he’s assuming full-time dad duties. It’s an equitable arrangement given the flexible needs of their individual commitments, and one he appears content with.

[trvelyans-archive]

i am on my hands and knees begging for u to tell me about lila and margot 🙏

jasmine.............. thank you for this gift

under the cut because i expect it’ll get very long <3 :) update after i finished writing: it is, in fact, very long and also took me over an hour. so. take that as whatever sort of warning you might want.

let’s start with margot !

she was born to a couple of really young parents who..... did not want to be parents. at all. they were still in the party-and-get-drunk phase of their life and didn’t want to have a kid to worry about, so a large part of her childhood was spent couch surfing between relatives, mostly her grandfather.

they were really close! he would help her with her homework, they would cook together, he would let her drink underage so that she was well-versed in beer by the time she was like. idk. 16 lol. but she felt closer to him than her own parents, who were good when they were around but. they mostly weren’t around <3

when she was 19, her grandpa starting showing pretty serious signs of memory loss and whatnot and eventually had to be moved into a home. she was living with him by that point, so she had to continue to spend a year or so of her adult life couchsurfing. it didn’t help that she was in school full-time to get an engineering degree of. some kind. i think mechanical engineering. idk. and didn’t have a job, so to pay back her roommates she took up a majority of the housework as well as picked up odd jobs on the weekend. her grandpa’s health continued to decline through this time so she didn’t actually mind being busy because then she. didn’t have to think about it at all <3

and then.............. when she was 20......... her boyfriend of a year  suggested that she not only move in with him but that they get married and margot, who has never had stability ever in her life, jumped at the opportunity !

after she graduated, she found it incredibly hard to find a career (even though they were in the same program and He had no trouble finding one), so she was back to not working but her husband didn’t mind and he supported her whole-heartedly. during this time she started running and then eventually started going to a gym with a couple of her female friends from their neighbourhood! she would also spend a lot of time at her grandpa’s but his health was still rapidly declining. eventually her now-husband said that she should probably stop visiting him and margot was like “.... ok i guess”

And then. :)

she kept spending time outside of the house and started taking self-defense classes with a few of her friends and her husband was started to get very antsy. he wanted her to be at home, told her that he didn’t like her going out at night or, eventually, at all, and would find ways to keep her home every night so she didn’t go out. during this time he also started getting. um. very manipulative. he was easily triggered into starting arguments. so she increased the frequency of her self-defense classes and, eventually, they became Very Useful in an argument with her husband. so. we hate him :)

after that she filed for a divorce, moved away and changed her name to her late grandmother’s last name. she started working at a gym in her new town and eventually decided to open her own ! she had gotten the building about 2-3 weeks before the outbreak hit and didn’t have any furniture or equipment of any kind, so she met up with 2 middle-aged women from her old gym and they travelled together until one of them was bitten in a fight with walkers and dragged into a big crowd of them to be eaten and the other one was bitten and margot had to shoot her when she got zombified and tried to attack. :(

that’s where i have left off for now but i am going to develop her More the more i watch the show !!!

okay. backstory over. now for the fun bits:

her faceclaim is mackenzie davis specifically in terminator (without the. lines on her arms and whatever idk what those are) and this picture is the most margot-vibe imaginable.

the haircut was an incredibly recent choice but it came in handy during the outbreak because she didn’t have to worry about keeping hair out of her face. girlboss !

she is 6′2 :) her and her husband were funnily enough the 2 tallest people in her graduating class

she spoke occasionally to her parents after graduating and moving away but they fell out of touch a year or so before the outbreak began and she......................... unsurprisingly doesn’t miss them at all

she has 1 keepsake and it’s an old keychain of her grandpa’s and if anything happens to it. she will kill everyone in any room and Then herself !!!

she likes to where tank tops to show off her big arms. is this very ergonomical in the apocalypse where zombie bites can kill you instantly ? nope! will she do it anyway to intimidate people ? yup!

she Cannot cook. at all. she lived off of take-out and microwavable meals for the first 20 years of her life and then she always had someone else making food for her until she moved away on her own when it was back to takeout.

on the topic of food :) her fave foods are mac and cheese with breadcrumbs and meatlover’s pizza !

she will do literally anything for a good beer. anything. she keeps an eye out for them every time she goes scavenging in buildings and will try to get at least 1 bottle per trip. girlboss !

she cannot sing. in fact she’s not just average, she’s Terrible. she can, however, play mad guitar because her grandpa taught her.

now onto miss lila :)

she was born in a town a couple over from rick’s and was the younger sister of 2 ! she had a really great family and a very very happy childhood :) her dad was a wildlife rehabilitator and her mom was a landscaper who took a lot of pride in their nice big backyard and garden and Land where they. you know. rehabiliated the wildlife and what not

she worked a lot with her dad and mom at their wildlife centre and also helped her mom garden a lot (their house was on the same property as the centre so it was a nice big plot of land). she took a lot of interest in rehabilitating animals and it sparked a very early childhood interest in Caring for things (namely little wild critters) which extended to her helping out little kids on the playground when they got scraped knees and things. she always had a package of bandaids in her backpack from second grade on. an angel <3

in her final year of high school she had a very quick fling with a boy from her high school that ended… poorly. and then she got pregnant! which she. Did not expect. nor want. nor need in her life because she was planning on moving to atlanta to go to medical school and kickstart her career. her sister, who had recently dropped out of school and lost her job, decided to Take One for the team and claim the baby as hers so lila could go to medical school and stuff. their parents promised to take good care of her and they all made a plan to hide lila’s pregnancy from their town (although i’m sure literally everyone knows anyway) and then she moved away in the summer after giving birth to go to school

she quickly finished up her nursing program but was out of job for a few years until she got a job offer to be the nurse at king county elementary school aka the school were one Carl Grimes goes to school. she moved there in may and one night, when her car Squealed to a stop in front of a dog who had run away from his home and was being chased by. Um. a certain sheriff’s deputy who was intending on bringing the puppy back home <3 they got to talking and. Well. the rest is history…..

she was a very beloved member of the staff and kids would often fake sick just to come to her office and get a sucker and she grew esp close to the grimes family :D after a couple of years living in king county she got a job to start working at some fancy prep school in atlanta and decided that actually she might want to. You know. start being a mom now that she was finished with school and had a career. so she moved away from king county at the end of the next school year and was unfortunately in atlanta when it was bombed by the government at the start of the outbreak so she and her daughter and sister all died :) and that’s that !

some fun facts because that was a very depressing end to her story:

she always has suckers in her office at school and her favourites are the watermelon ones.

she can often be found gardening in her backyard or watching the birds in the trees like a little nature baby !!!

she is very meticulous about planning. she Does have a daily agenda. she Will kill you if you touch it. shane likes to leave her little notes in it for her to find when she’s at school. sometimes they are not Just cute. she usually erases those.

she likes collecting ugly thrift store paintings of animals and hangs them up in her dining room and she Does think they are incredibly funny.

she is a vegetarian !!! very unwavering about it. shane finds it annoying because he’s good at cooking steak but she just has a salad and then they’re both perfectly happy <3

sends basically everyone she knows a Christmas/holiday card every year. even the teachers at the elementary school who don’t like her and or barely talk to her !!!

she is a terrible maker of tea and usually forgets about cups before she’s even halfway through them (thank god for her). makes everyone tea when they come over except shane (stupid ass) because he doesn’t like it and usually people just politely swallow it even though it’s too steeped or. sorry idk how tea works. she just Makes It Bad ok

she perpetually forgets to do laundry. Most of her non-scrubs have dirt stains or dressing stains or whatnot (except for her Really nice clothes) which is why she tries to buy a lot of patterns. makes things easier to hide <3

and that’s it for now !!! i have so much other lore for them but i will stop here for now :) thank you very much if you read this also i’m very sorry i have twd brainworms i cannot help it. anyway ok that’s it thanks love you bye

[prorevenge]

Depth form the grave, a story of money.

My grandma told me this story recently about how her brother got his ass kicked from the grave.

Sorry for the bad English, I do not write it very well and I have dislexia. So sorry if I butch the text.

So this is the scenario: My grandma comes from a family of 5, 4 girls, 1 boy.

My great-grandfather (Henk) was ecstatic with the boy, we will call him Jack.

One more important thing is that my great-grandfather ran a very successful company that made high-end clothing and bathroom silks/towels/bathrobes. He made a fortune with his company and made sure everyone who worked for the company got his fair share.

He also looked after the family, all his children got a education, all his children got the chance to get their driver's license. It was in the 1960s so it was a big deal back then, they were the first in my home time with a car, radio and tv.

My great-grandfather treated everyone equal , that changed when his first and only son was born, he already had 4 girls and now finally a son. The road map was laid out for him, he would be the heir to his company.

So began the upbringing of Jack, he was let's say a kid with a mouth. This wasn't bad perse, the thing was that his father allowed it. Jack got kicked from his first school, jack got caught for shoplifting, Jack got kicked from his second school, Jack got caught joyriding and so on and so on.

Henk did not sit Jack down and told him the severity of his actions but he would shrug it and tell his wife(great-grandmother) Anna that it were just childhood quirks. Anna tried to make something out of Jack but it was a lost cause.

Jack became 18 and Henk decided that it was the time too introduce him into the company, the company did better than ever and the whole family was involved.

Jack began at the bottom of the ladder and had to work his way up, this is were Jack began to "shine". With shine my grandmother meant that her brother was not a bright light at school but he was a hard worker and had a nose for business, not so much for people.

Jack was being a ass as per usual and got married to his first Karen, his first wife was a, Karen . She wanted to start her own company and her Father in law Henk wanted to retire. She pushed Jack to take over quickly and push the rest of the family out, Jack listent to her and talked to his father how he was ready and how his sisters and their husbands were tearing the company apart if they would stay in their leadership roles.

The thing was that only one daughter an son in law were involved in the company at this point(1980). My grandmother oversaw the seamstresses and the quality department , and my grandfather oversaw the financial and the supplier's. Karen wanted full control and started a little fire in the family, she spread a rumor that grandfather stole from the company.

I do not know what transpired but in the end my great-grandfather bought out all the family and Jack bought out great-grandfather. The company was Jack and Karen's company now and things went tits up pretty quickly. Seamstresses quited, bills were not paid and Jack had to take a loan from great-grandfather. The family company was barely scraping by and Karen left Jack because he could not provide for him. It became apparent that Jack could not make it work and was looking for a way out . After a while great-grandfather had seen enough and bought back the remnants of his company and sold it too a bigger company that wanted to expand. This made the wealth he amesed even bigger, he did set up different banking accounts for his children and said that if someone was in need they could take money form that account.

He told Jack his cut was smaller as he was the reason he sold the company and that he was let down by the carelessness his son had run his company into the ground. Jack was angry and told his father that he could had make it work if he had more time. It remained a sour point between the two of them

Things went well for a while but Jack married a second time with a women named Helen, Helen like Karen wanted her own business. Jack agreed and took money from the account in order to start Helens company. The business was a little barbershop and ran pretty well, they were spending their money on luxury and did not save anny money.

After a while my grandmother got a call from her little brother Jack if he could store some good in her garage. My grandfather did not trust Jack and told him No and grandmother did not agree but they agreed to it. A few weeks later Jack got caught for "possession of stolen goods and drugs smuggling". It was not a surprise but none the less a let down for my great-grandfather Henk, this time he would not help Jack and told him that he would no longer stand behind him.

After a few years Jack got out and was again a divorced men, he married again and divorce another 3 times and each time he gave these women a business and live lavishly, new cars, big House's, expensive vacations.

He drained his money and robbed his emergency bank account dry, he loaned a lot of money from great-grandfather and soo on.

In 2013 great-grandfather befell ill , it was clear that he was not gonna make it and took his final days in stride. At this time Jack became very buddy buddy and started to help great-grandfather sell some stuff, at some point my grandmother sat down with her father and asked him were the money went for the sold stuff and great-grandfather told her not to worry about it, he took care of it in his will.

After his 95 birthday he passed away quite and in peace.

After her funeral they all went too listen to the will of their father, all except Jack who had given a power of attorney to my grandmother to sign the will in his place. All the children get their fair share but at the end the notary public tells them to signe the papers and the inheritance is completely theirs.

At some point my grandma called my dad, she has inherited some collateral papers, all sorts of papers that stated that someone owned my great-grandfather money. My father said that she has to call a lawyers office to get the money from these papers.

A few days after this call to the lawyers office my grandmother gets a call from her brother, why was she taking his money from the inheritance. My grandmother tells him she has inherited some collateral papers and that she wants too get the money from them. Jack was furious and told her that that was illegal.

Jack was wrong, great-grandfather had documented every penny his son had loaned from him and constructed his will in such a way that the rest of his children could get that part of their money from there money drain of a brother. Also great-grandfather found out Jack stole from him. You see Jack was putting the money he made from the sold stuff on his own banking account instead of giving it to his Father.

After this ordeal Jack has not contacted my grandmother or his sisters, he has since then paid everything back and has never seen a penny from his inheritance. Great-grandfather has confided in a letter why he did this, he was done with his son, all the lying , the careless things he had done to his company, all the money he had blown and not taking any responsibility. He gave his final lesson to his son from the grave.

(source) story by (/u/IAmWeasel93)

[the-overgrowth]

Retrospective: “Faybane” #1

This is where it all started, on July 8th, 2016. Although probably a bit earlier than that, but this is the earliest thing I can find that’s actually written down, so that’s what counts. And back in the day I didn’t let ideas marinate the way I do now, I just started writing pretty much as soon as I got the idea.

Anyway, the document was created at this point in time according to Google Docs, and was last modified in October 3rd, 2016. It’s only 3 chapters long, plus one incomplete fourth chapter, and the whole thing is about 17k words.

Which is a lot for 3 chapters. I would say something about how I’m less wordy now, but the latest draft is like 107k words long, so, like, I will always struggle with shutting the fuck up, methinks.

Also, the reason this is called “Faybane” is because that was the working title I used, and the name of this document. I thought it’d be the proper title but like. It’s bad lmao.

Anywhomst, let’s get into it!

Some background info for those who are new or need a refresher: this WIP became a thing after I read and was disappointed by A Court of Thorns and Roses by SJM, as well as The Iron King by Julie Kagawa and some book by Holly Black, was it Tithe?

ACOTAR was the biggest culprit. I feel that this is important to keep in mind as we go through this mess.

We open on Sidra in the forest with a bunch of men she calls a hunting party. It’s clear she doesn’t want to be there, but since she’s the only decent hunter among them and it’s her sister’s wedding today, she has to make the kill to feed the people attending said wedding.

This is, as the kids say, big stupid, and seems like a very ill-prepared celebration? I guess it makes some sense for them to want fresh meat, but this fresh? What if they didn’t find anything? What if they didn’t manage to kill anything? Is the whole thing cancelled? Stupid.

We find out they’ve been hunting a boar and that this dude named Liam, our Gaston replacement, previously wounded the animal but didn’t kill it, causing it to flee and force the hunting party to follow. It’s up to Sidra to make the killing blow, which she does with an arrow straight into its head. This was back when Sidra was still YA Heroine Extraordinaire and the time period was Vaguely Medieval, I guess.

They begin taking their quarry back home and Sidra thinks about how she normally doesn’t hunt this close to the “Faewilds” because animals closer to the border are said to be bigger and more violent. There isn’t an actual border, people just had to rely on intuition and not wander too far into the forest.

She also mentions a girl named Wilda, who disappeared fairly recently and everyone suspects it was the fae. This isn’t relevant now, but Wilda will return in later drafts, I think.

Everybody, especially my family, knew that I was one of the best archers in town, whether I used a bow or a crossbow.

Shut up, Not!Feyre. Nobody likes you.

I should mention that at this point I didn’t bother googling how big wild boars get and just assumed they were the size of like, a thick medium dog. Which is, if you know how big boars are, very incorrect. Four men pulling the animal seems realistic enough, but then Liam just lifts it up on his own? Not buying it.

Sidra laments how much she hates Liam and we find out that he apparently tried to assault her and she stabbed him? And apparently she’s not happy about his marriage to Sinéad but can’t do anything about it because “Father’s word is law” and Sinéad herself laughed it off when Sidra tried to warn her?

Yeah, gonna call bullshit on that one. No idea why this was here or what purpose it serves, the reason Liam doesn’t exist in the latest draft is because I never figured out what his purpose was so I axed him entirely. 

Current!Sidra would just kill him the moment he showed an interest in Sinéad, and Current!Sinéad would 100% believe her sister about something like that.

Some bloke named Connor strikes up a conversation with Sidra, seemingly worried about being this far away from human civilization. Liam teases him about it and calls the fae “knife-ears”, because I still had brainrot back then and liked Dragon Age and had zero original ideas in my head.

The men make jokes about having sex with fae women and Sidra seems so disturbed by this that she nocks an arrow. This isn’t the first time she makes references to feeling unsafe around these men, I have no idea why I wrote it this way aside from being edgy, I guess.

My village was mostly populated by men, and even though I wasn’t one of the pretty girls there, I knew these men weren’t picky, even with all their talk about beautiful fae women. I’d heard that fae women would kill their men after sleeping with them. I had no way of know it was true, but a part of me hoped it was and that Liam would some day soon get “lucky” and encounter a female fae, so she could end his misery.

Edgy, dude.

They eventually arrive and Sidra goes inside her house, which is a simple cottage with three rooms. I think her family are all farmers? It’s kind of confusing. She goes into her and Sinéad’s bedroom, where Sinéad is preparing for her wedding. Also, she’s blonde.

“Sid! There you are!” she said cheerily. “Killed a boar, huh? Good on Liam for taking all the credit.”

If you know your man is trash, why are you marrying him?

Apparently Liam seduced Sinéad with sweets and baked goods. I mean ... fair enough. Considering how Sidra complains about being hungry and skinny and going without food if she doesn’t kill the boar because this year’s harvest was minimal, I’m assuming y’all are starving.

We find out Sinéad’s mother doesn’t let her do anything around the house or farm, to preserve her “soft and white” hands and pale complexion so she could be married off easily. This makes zero sense, you’d think these medieval men wouldn’t have the same beauty standards as Victorian England, plus having a mouth to feed that doesn’t even help feeding itself is just nuts. 

But remember, this isn’t Sidra, this is Not!Feyre. She needs to be sad and put-upon and a victim. She explains how she was never pretty to begin with and thus nobody considered her to be worthy of marrying off, which then meant she was put to work and became even less attractive because now she was so cool and badass that all the men were intimidated by her.

Yeah, in a village that already doesn’t have a lot of young women? I’m not buying this, lmao. But go off, Not!Feyre.

I’d been the one helping around, instead. Hunting, mostly. Sometimes I’d chop wood or work the farm. Marrying out of the house seemed impossible. Marrying up was practically a dream you forgot upon waking. Had I been pretty from the start there would’ve been a foundation to work from, but I was a lost cause even before my skin became tan and my hands grew veined and calloused. I had freckles which people mistook for mud and dull brown eyes, a long nose that had been broken one time too many and a mouth that made it look like I constantly felt a bad smell no matter what facial expression I made. I’d always been of rather short stature and had brown hair and thick eyebrows, which in combination with everything else made my parents call me their “little goblin”. The scar on my face didn’t help me either: men didn’t like it when their women were more battle-hardened than they were.

Oh god please, don’t go off! We don’t care! Stop going off!

Also what fucking parents call their poor kid a goblin? Yikes.

Sinéad convinces Sidra to get prettied up and Sidra is all “oh I bet all the men will just fall over themselves for my favor now huh” which is just the most annoying fucking thing, prompting Sinéad to respond:

“Well, winter is coming and game is scarce. If they want to survive, marrying the best hunter in the village might be a good bet.”

Yeah! This is correct! I refuse to believe people wouldn’t be into Sidra! Not only does everyone apparently know she’s the best hunter in town, but Sidra herself confirmed the men here outnumber the women and aren’t very picky.

This is fucking stupid. I’m glad I axed it. In my defense, I was very much trying to emulate the YA shit I’d read so far.

Sidra’s grandmother enters the stage. She’s very old in this draft, but otherwise unchanged.

She was a short and wrinkled old lady with extremely bad vision and an even worse grasp on reality. Or maybe an extremely acute grasp on reality, depending on whether you believed her stories or not.

Sidra changes out of the dress again to go out and help her father prepare the boar, all while sulking.

I didn’t envy Sinead, nor any other bride. Despite what most people thought of me, I wasn’t some poor ugly girl longing for the love of a man and the security of marriage. Did I enjoy the idea of having somebody care for me? Sure. But it wasn’t on my list of priorities. I was still trying to figure out what actually was on that list. Not that it mattered. The prospects for a poor village girl were very finite.

Womp womp.

We get some confusing and barely related stuff about Sidra possibly becoming a royal hunter for the king and also about where the village is located in relation to the Faewilds. She speculates that maybe the fae aren’t real, but the way she and everyone else talks about them makes it pretty obvious that they are? This was supposed to build mystery, I guess.

We skip forward to the wedding and Sidra is moping again.

“How are you feeling?” Father asked and squeezed my shoulder. 

I wasn’t sure why he was doing that. I assumed it had something to do with the wedding and the fact that despite there being fewer women than men here, I was still not asked to dance. Though this didn’t really bother me, so I just shrugged.

“It doesn’t bother me. Anyway I will continue to mope and feel bitter about this thing that doesn’t bother me.” Hunny ...

At least Current!Sidra has the self-awareness to admit she’s sad and lonely.

 [Father’s] marriage to Sinead’s mother was never out of love, more out of necessity. It was easier when you had a big family.

Except for when this “big family” is 3 people who work and 2 people who are just being fed, right? See, I knew back then that having a big family helps when you have a farm, but I also needed to make Sidra Special so Sinéad had to sit on her ass to highlight how pretty and feminine she was or whatnot.

Bleh.

They talk a bit about Sidra’s mother, who passed away five years ago, and Sidra reminisces about how she used to tell amazing stories. It’s all very ... whatever, and serves only to make this point for the hundredth time:

I wasn’t like Mother. I wasn’t full of life and spirit like her. I wasn’t loved and respected by the entire village like her. I was just her disappointing child whose existence they’d rather forget except when they wanted something killed.

Right after this there’s a really abrupt scene transition. Nothing about the wedding coming to an end, nothing about her going to bed, it’s just ... some while later?

Sidra’s father comes back home from ??? and tells Sidra he saw a stag somewhere, but it was hours ago so she better get a move on.

I’m not sure what either of them thinks this will accomplish? Like ... what is she gonna do with it when she kills it ... Carry it home? On her little boney ass? Hmm? I guess I didn’t think of that because I had meta knowledge that she wouldn’t get it home either way, so who cares about logic, right?

Sidra kills two rabbits while stalking the deer, and despite telling us earlier that she doesn’t venture far away from human civilization and the boar hunting being the farthest she’d been and that she wouldn’t go this far alone, she has no issue dwelling very deep into the forest this time.

Like. Henlo? Can we have one logic please and thanks you? Granted, she keeps stopping every now and then to Feel Things Out, but this really goes against how careful she was before and at no point do we get an explanation to her sudden boldness. Plot reasons, I guess.

She nearly stumbles into fae territories and finally decides to head back, except when she starts returning, she sees the stag she’s been tracking. It’s abnormally huge and has a “dark brown” coat that she finds odd, but of course she’s too stupid to connect the dots.

She sneaks up on it and honestly? This chapter ending still slaps.

A scream of pain left the creature and I saw it topple. But though my arrow hit a deer, a man fell to the ground.

DUN DUN DUN.

And yeah, the ACOTAR roots rear their ugly heads again. I liked the idea of the protagonist shooting a fae disguised as an animal, but I decided to cut out the middleman and just have her obliterate Val right in chapter one. Don’t worry, he doesn’t die.

[mwolf0epsilon]

((As kids)) the polks let Sammy live with them after being abandoned by his parents. At first he’s rude to them but then he gets straighten out. Maybe he helps around there farm/ work?

Reworked a few things here to fit the prompt considering Samuel Sr. wasn't the best person or parent, but he he wouldn't just abandon his child, and the fact my Norman is 20 years older than Sammy in the canon compliant verse.

Summary: Sammy was a weird kid. Norman thought he must have been a major brat to get thrown out, and the blond spitfire never tried to disprove it. Then he got wiser.

---

Everyone in their area knew the Polks. They were a quaint little family that owned an equally quaint little farm out near New Orleans. Nothing too fancy, just a few sugar cane plantations, and a bit of cotton on the side. Enough to get food on the table, pay for studies, and even support a few hobbies . It was a comfy lifestyle for a tight-knit family.

Those who were aware of the Polks also knew what they tended to do when not tending to their crops.

Despite a few shady (and sadly true) rumours about dear old Poppop Polk, the military background of a few of the Polk men, and the sheer physically intimidating bulk that they often grew into (even the women) due to years of hard work, the only hardened part of them were the muscles. In truth the Polks were the kindest most soft-hearted folk in Louisiana. As such they were suckers for a sad tale, second chances and what not. This tended to lead into them bringging in strays...

The most recent, much to a young Norman's displeasure, being a bit of a sour crumb.

Sammy Lawrence was this pale tiny boy with a shock of curly blond hair and eyes that weren't a color Norman couldn't quite name. Something in between a soft brown and a flicker of green.

He was a skinny sort, no more intimidating than a little fuzzy newborn chick, with knees marked by bruises and scratches (from climbing trees and skinning his knees on gravel) and unevenly cut nails that looked like they'd been bitten until they were short (a nervous tick).

But, most notably, the kid was a snake. One with venom in his eyes, and words that bit into flesh like a snapping turtle out for the kill.

Now Norman's mama always told him never to judge a book by its cover, but surely the saying couldn't apply if he judged the contents, right?

The kid was just... Mean-spirited...

Yelled, had tantrums like the devil himself made him whacky, and honestly watching his mama fret over him and try to make him more comfortable staying at the farm was like watching a trip for biscuits. Completely pointless.

Sammy was a weird kid. And Norman thought he must have been a major brat (because obviously he was) to get thrown out by his parents.

To his credit the blond spitfire never tried to disprove it or give any logical reason to be there. Instead he resorted to verbally attacking him and his older siblings at every chance he got.

Norman didn't much care for those wordy insults of his. The kid thought he was smarter than him, so fine let him believe that. But the moment he told his sister she looked like a little ugly ape, Norman's composure snapped like a twig.

"Yous thinks yous plenty rugged uh? Spoutin' all them nonsense fancy words like ta rest o' us don't get what yous sayin'?" He'd spat out twice as venomously, with a hint of fury over little Jolene's tears cutting his heart deep. "What sorta wet sock goes 'round throwin' crust at little girls?!"

"None of your business you slobbering cyclops!" The little shit had his fists balled like he thought he could take on someone who brawled with two much larger siblings. He may not be able to beat Franny and Carol in a fight but damn, Phineas couldn't tear them off him either and he was 16!

At 12 Norman wasn't stocky but he put up a fight. This 10 year old egg would go down easily. "She started it!

"She's 5! I bet this why you ended up here. So dang mean not even your parents could love yous!"

"Nomie!" Jolene protested, but the damage was done.

The little blond stared wide eyed with his mouth hanging open, before his face went red with rage. Like the devil possessed him.

Shrieking loudly the brat lunged and both he and Norman went rolling downhill into the creak.

On Jolene's account, both of them were in trouble for saying and doing bad things (his one regret was not biting the kid harder when he tried to go for his neck). She also got a light spanking for something she'd said.

Much to Norman's embarrassment, matters parteining his behavior were taken up to his Great Nanna. And boy did she look angry...

"Bárbara told me yous went and said some evil things to that poor boy." The burn of her gaze made his cheeks hot with shame. But also a little bit of resentment.

"Not like he a saint Nanna! He called Jolene a monkey, she was just playin'!"

"She also insulted him to his face, cuzz you boys drilled it into her head that it's fine ta go around making fun o' people you don't know as long as you ain't caught doin' so." Nanna pointed out. "Now why'd ya go an' tell him what yous did?"

"Ain't it obvious? Kids out here for SOME reason... And his attitude sure makes it seem like he gots thrown out with the rest o' the trash."

"NORMAN ELIAS POLK!"

Norman yelped in fright as his great grandmother pointed her long crooked finger at him and began laying down the law. You did NOT piss off Nanna.

"You do NOT get to say such evil things in this household! You don't know nothin' 'bout why that poor boy is out here, and goin' bout saying such booshwash will get your hide tanner than a leather belt!" She spat as she went, her toothless sneer a great sign of her displeasure. "That boy just 'bout went and lost his poor mother, and his father is in hospital sick as a dog, so you best go out and 'pologize to that frightened child before I get half a mind to drag you there by the ear and spank your butt in front o' the whole family 'til the only words comin' out that crude mouth a'yours are words a regret!"

"Y-yes Nanna!"

"Go on then! Git!" She pushed him out the door. "Apologize!"

His Nanna was crazy scary when she wanted to be. Her promises were also always kept.

He shakily apologized as soon as he caught sight of Sammy, and he must have well and truly looked shaken up because the kid took it without so much as putting up a fuss.

At dinner things simmered down, and the little blond didn't put up a fight about staying or eating "slop" like he'd his memaw's cooking before.

According to Phineas, their pops had sat the kid down and layed it out just as hard as Nanna had done to Norman.

Either behave or risk getting sent somewhere less friendly. His pops also called in for extra drills the next morning, as punishment for their bad influence on Jolene. Sammy would participate, as his father thought such exercise routines were good for later on in life.

You never know.

Through following the same routine as everyone else, Sammy seemed to overall mellow out. He was less aggressive towards everyone else, actually did a decent job, wasn't too bothered about the farm work (apparently his dad owned a cattle ranch), and he actually started playing with the other kids as well. It took time for him to get comfortable, but heck if he wasn't fun to brawl with! Least now Norman had a chance to win!

Sammy Lawrence's stay wasn't a long one though. A month and a half.

As soon as Mr. Lawrence got out of the hospital he'd practically floored it all the way down to their farm to get his boy as far away from the black folk (no wonder the kid was such a ball of bad manners, his old man was one of THOSE people) as quickly as possible.

Must of thought they'd tainted the kid or something...

No skin off Norman's nose. He may have been in the wrong about why Sammy lashed out the way he did, or about the kid being a crumb, but that didn't stop the little shit from being a weirdo.

Hopefully he'd grow out of the superiority complex.

[animeniacss]

What I Want- BadBoy!Taehyung x Reader - Chapter 1 - Up and Out

Synopsis:  You are an innocent, excitable new girl, moving all the way to Korea due to your dad’s new job. As you anxiously learn about the new world around you and how you’ll make your mark, you stumble into none other than bad boy Kim Taehyung and his band of six crazy friends. He seems to be bothered but you, something he doesn’t even understand. Will you be able to tolerate the shenanigans of Taehyung and his rowdy friends, or will you fall victim to his charms just like everyone else?

Featuring Jihyo and Dahyun (TWICE) as your friends, and BTS members as Taehyung’s group of friends.

Genre: Romance, BadBoy!V, BadBoy!BTS, High School Romance, Drama

Length: approx. 2.6k words

Chapter 1 - Up and Out 

           Being good was boring. Being good meant going to class on time, listening, and taking notes, studying! Yeah, no thanks. It was much more fun to be spontaneous, smoking behind the school campus during break hours, playing video games until midnight instead of scanning through a useless textbook, and yeah, starting the occasional food fight in the cafeteria when the teachers weren’t looking. Now that was fun, and it made things more exciting. That was exactly what Kim Taehyung was about, bringing more fun to his school other than those boring pep rallies, sporting games, and god awful school dances.  No, he was going to make school fun in a different way, his own way.

           You, being a bright-eyed new girl, had no idea about Taehyung and his god awful reputation. All you knew was that you were a bright-eyed, innocent girl who recently moved to Korea from your childhood home. At first, it bothered you, not wanting to leave your friends whose bonds were over 16 years in the making or your school that you were almost done with. Not only that, but you barely knew any Korean! Sure, your grandmother would speak to you in Korean when she would come to visit, but that was always very basic conversation and you always managed to reply in broken sentences and half-English remarks. But that wasn’t important, your dad had gotten a new and better job through his company, requiring you all to pack up your well-established lives and move across the globe. It was a bit unfair, yes, but as you began to learn the language with your mother, who was just as lost in the language as you were, you began to enjoy it. Not only that, but you tried to pique your interest more by watching some Korean dramas on Netflix, listening to Korean music, and learning whatever you could about your soon to be home. It was interesting, it was amazing! By the time you boarded the plane, you couldn’t wait to go!

           The trip to Korea was exhausting, but you spent the entire time chewing off your little brother’s ear, who was trying to ignore you and play his Switch, but you kept being persistent, all the way until you landed. You were guided off the plane, your father using his fluency in Korean to help guide your family into cars and to your new home. It was nice, something your father was able to negotiate with his boss in exchange for uprooting his family. You were eager to look inside and see what new memories would be made here! As you headed into the house, you and your brother raced to find your new bedrooms. Lucky for you, you ran track in middle school, so you were faster. This nabbed you the bigger of the two rooms.

           “No fair!” Your brother shouted in annoyance, but you smirked at him and closed the door in his face as your response. You looked around, seeing that the new furniture that was ordered had begun to arrive already, as your new bed and dresser were set up. All you had to do was wait a few days until your luggage from home arrived in the next few days and you would be able to set up. But what you did have, you put out. About a few days’ worth of clothes, a few pictures of friends and family, and letters covered in tear stains from the hour or crying you and your best friends did before you left. As you set things up, you hear a noise outside. It seemed someone had come by, as you heard indistinct chatter coming from underneath your window. Setting down the last of your things, you grab your belongings and head downstairs.

           There you see your mom, letting in a few different people, older women about her age. They’re greeting her, smiling as they try their absolute best to communicate, your mom giving broken greetings in Korean and the others giving broken responses in English, all leading up to a good laugh between them. Behind them were a few teens, two girls about your age. They seemed sweet.

“Honey! C’mere and meet our new neighbors.” Your mother said, glee in her voice. You made your way over to see two girls about your age standing beside one another. Both girls were very pretty, one with short and wavy brown hair and the other with long blonde hair. They smiled at you.

“Hi!” The brunette girl said in Korean. Despite your excitement, you were nervous about being judged for your Korean. You blushed, shyly saying hello in shaky Korean. “I’m Park Ji-soo, but you can call me Jihyo.” The other girl, the blonde, gave a grin as she held up a peace sign in front of her face.

“And I’m Kim Dahyun.” The other girl said. “What about you?” You responded, giving a smile. “Sorry my uh….my Korean isn’t very good still.”

“Good thing you have us to practice with.” Dahyun grinned. “We both live on the block, so we’ll be happy to help you out.” You were silent for a second, trying to process what she had said. Dahyun and Jihyo chuckled a bit watching your eyes move from side to side and your lips mouth what Dahyun had said to you before your eyes finally went bright and a smile formed on your lips. You got it.

“Thank you!” You replied happily. “Do you guys also go to high school?”

“Yeah, we do.” Jihyo smiled. “So we can help you get adjusted there too.” You smiled, glad to know that you made two friends who were so nice to help you out while you were adjusting. As the three of you sat in the living room, your mothers in the kitchen, they fill you in on what school was like, and what kind of kids to expect. You were listening, fortunate that they were speaking some English to you within all of the Korean to make understanding just a little bit easier. It was fun getting to know these girls, they were kind and respectful, and Dahyun was a riot when she got going with the crazy personality you learned she had.

By the time you girls knew it, it was time to go home to rest. You said your goodbyes, exchanged phone numbers and watched as they left with their mothers. Your mother closed the door and smiled.

“Well, that was nice. Seems we got lucky with some good neighbors, huh?” You nodded in agreement. “Alright, it’s pretty late Tell your brother to get to bed, you both have school first thing tomorrow and the last thing you need is to be late.” Agreeing, you headed upstairs to relay mom's message.

“But I’m not tired!” The ten-year-old shouted in annoyance.

“Well if you don’t go to sleep I’ll be sure to tell Mom and she’ll break your Switch.” You said simply. Your brother groaned, knowing you were a girl of your word.

“Goody-goody.” He muttered as he made his way into the bathroom to get ready for bed, and you did the same. Tossing on a pair of old pajamas, you slid onto your bed with your temporary blanket and covers. As you got ready to fall asleep, you heard a ding from your phone. Turning to look at it, you see it was from Dahyun. You had been put in a group chat with both her and Jihyo.

Dahyun: It was nice to meet you! :D Jihyo and I can meet you tomorrow morning so we can all go to school together! J

You: Okay! See you tomorrow! Goodnight!

Setting your phone down, you curled up in bed. On your door hung your new uniform for tomorrow, and it made your heart pound a bit. You were really excited to go to school tomorrow, despite all of your fears about it. As you thought about what the experience would be like, you fell asleep.

The next day, your alarm woke you up right on time. Groaning, you stretched in your bed and hoped desperately that it was a weekend and you could sleep in and rest. But nope, your parents were already up, making the same loud noise they always do, and your brother’s footsteps pounding up and down the hallway too. Groaning again, you eventually got up and made your way into your bathroom. Combing your hair, brushing your teeth, and putting on your makeup, you went back into your room and slipped into your new uniform. You had to admit, it looked pretty good on you, the skirt wasn’t too short, the blazer wasn’t too tight around the chest, and it flattered you well. I feel like I’m in a Korean drama. You thought to yourself, spinning around in your mirror once before you heard your mom calling your name. As you headed downstairs, you weren’t surprised to see Jihyo and Dahyun down there, standing in the kitchen with your mom. She was making some breakfast and offered the girls some fruit, which they both happily took, before turning to you.

“Hey.” You said happily, heading to the table and grabbing a piece of toast, than spreading some egg on it. “I’ll eat this on the way. Bye, Mom!” You waved to your mother, heading out the door with the girls, your brother trekking behind, as the elementary school was a stop on the way to your high school. After dropping your brother off, you and your friends made your way to the office of the high school. You introduced yourself to the principal, who spoke some English, so it made the conversation much easier on you. You got your ID badge, your schedule, and a map of the school before you were on your way.

The school was bustling, full of teenagers pushing, shoving, listening to music as they perched themselves up against a locker, muting out the rest of the world. Friends threw arms around one another, grinning as they spoke about teenage problems like homework and love. You could only hear pieces of information as you made your way to your classroom, which fortunately you shared with Jihyo, and found your locker, which was in the bottom row of the homeroom lockers. It was a bit weird, being in a school where nobody knew you, and you didn’t know anybody. For as long as you were in school, you were always the one eagerly welcoming the new kid, showing them around and helping them get adjusting to their new life, and here you were. Now you were in their shoes, and you could understand why some people were hesitant to open up to you at first. It’s intimidating. You stepped out into the hallway, where Dahyun was approaching from her classroom next door.

While you were finishing up with settling in and adjusting to the slight feeling of anxiousness within your body, someone else was entering the school grounds. Someone who, with every step, he took closer to the building, had more and more eyes staring in his direction. He was unsure if these looks were out of fear, or attraction, or both, but he honestly didn’t really care. Running a hand through his hair, he stepped into the building. As he was getting his bearings, he felt a hard slap on the back. It was another guy, a bit smaller than him, but with full lips and a grin on his face stretching from ear to ear.

“So you’re finally back, Taehyung? How was that three-day vacation?” He asked. Taehyung replied with a shrug as the duo made their way down the halls of the school.

“It was whatever. How were the three days here without me, Jimin? Did you all fall apart like last time?”

“No!” Jimin said quickly. Taehyung raises an eyebrow, and Jimin pouted. “Well…Namjoon-Hyung broke that really cool statue in our room.” Taehyung snickered a bit at the thought of his Hyung. Yeah, that sounded like something he would do.

“What else have I missed?” He asked curiously.

“Nothing. I think a new girl started in our year, though.” Jimin said. Taehyung pursed his lips together, grinning as they walked deeper into the school.

“Really?” he asked.

You watched as students slowly began to disperse into their classrooms, saying goodbye to friends and kissing lovers goodbye. You waved to Dahyun as she headed to her class, talking with another friend as well as they disappeared into their class. As you and Jihyo were about to do the same, a voice was heard at the end of the hallway.

“Oi!” You blinked, turning to Jihyo. Her face immediately dropped, a hand going over her face. She looked annoyed, her thumb and forefinger rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“What’s wrong?” you asked curiously.

“I thought he was suspended for the rest of the week.” She muttered.

“Wrong!” You heard that voice chime again. It was deep, sultry, and it surprised you a bit. Turning your head, you became face to face with a brunette, leaning over Jihyo with a hand on her shoulder. He was grinning, his gummy smile fitting with his face despite his hard and tough appearance. “Did you miss me, Jihyo~?” he cooed, smirking.

“God no. What do you want?” She asked.

“I just came to introduce myself to the new girl.” He cooed, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and his eyes fell immediately to you. You stayed still, not sure what to say. “Well, hello there, cutie.” He said. “What’s your name?” You hesitated, but before you could give it to him, Jihyo took your arm.

“Her name is none of your business. Now go away, don’t you have a class to skip?” She asked. Taehyung snickered, shrugging.

“Maybe.” He said. “Why? Want to join me and have some fun, Jihyo my dear~?” Jihyo scoffed in disgust.

“You’re absolutely disgusting. Let’s go.” She said to me, and she led me inside.  You glanced back at Taehyung, who snuck you a wink as he headed down the hallway, his friend following behind him. Jihyo sat in her seat up in the front of the room, and you stood in front of it, waiting for the teacher to come in and assign you a seat. “I swear, do not talk to him, okay?”

“Why?”

“He and his gaggle of friends may be super popular with the girls, but they’re all bad influences. They smoke, they skip school, and they get into fights…Just steer clear of them, okay?” You saw how serious she was being, and nodded.

“Okay. Okay, Jihyo, if you’re so sure, I trust you.” You smiled happily. Jihyo gave you a kind smile and leaned back in her seat. Just then, the door opened and the teacher walked in. He was an older man, a bit rounder and balding on the top of his head. He had glasses on, which he pushed up the bridge of his nose with his index finger. He approached you, and you introduced yourself to him, as well as your entire class. He sent you to your seat, two seats behind Jihyo. She turned to you and smiled a bit, before facing forward and listening to the lesson.

During the lesson, you did your best to pay attention to. However, it wasn’t long before your eyes started to wander. You were a decent student, but god was it hard for you to pay attention. Your eyes wandered to the window, where you could see some bits and pieces of the outside. From one of the corners, you saw a few figures of some boys. They were laughing, playfully shoving each other, and goofing off as they headed out of sight. Out of them, you noticed Taehyung, his head in a headlock from a taller boy, who had a piece of some kind of food in his mouth. From what you were witnessing, they didn’t seem like bad people.

But what something seems like isn’t always the same as reality. At least, that was something you were taught.  

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[ofaugusts]

* TITUS  › 𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐧.

sleepless nights and hollow hues. impish, lopsided grins that settle upon split lips. the fall of honeyed locks over hazel hues. nicotine stained fingertips. anger worn like an accessory. a full body dunk into ice cold water. the hour right before dusk turns to dawn. the deafening silence after fireworks. the flash of lightning before the thunder.

𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

wowowow okay first off sooo excited to be here ( totally not writing this at five in the morning just so i can have it ready to go ) ??  my name’s moosh, i’m 21+, and have no preference for pronouns. this got pretty long i’m super sorry i always try to keep it short n it never works sdfnskdjf ANYWAYS HERE’S MY BB i’m planning on plotting w every one of u but still like this post n i’ll come plot ♡

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

name: august reyn age: 22 / senior gender: cismale ( he/him ) major: business + econ minor orientation: heterosexual / heteroromantic mbti: estp house: gryffindor ( 60% ) / slytherin ( 40% ) alignment: chaotic neutral

𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨

i haven’t uhh gotten around to a bio but i’ll also try to keep this as simple n concise as possible ??

death due to birth tw. baby boy is born as august tenold in los angeles, no dad in sight and mother passed. spent three/four days in the hospital until his grandmother finally made it across the country from new york to take him home to brooklyn where he would spend the next SEVENTEEN years.

they weren’t very well off and by that i mean that they had to sometimes worry about heat, leaks when it rained too much, warm water, so forth, but they were lucky enough to be able to afford a two bedroom. 

BUT august never attended a public school once. before her death she had been promised the best education for their son, in place of a role in his life. grandma would take the train with august everyday, an hour and a half to school, and she luckily found a job near his school because the commute alone was a journey. three hour commute, five times a week, and by the time he was in fourth grade he could find his way to school himself.

it was at school that he saw such a stark difference in lifestyle. it only got worse as he got older and whatever they bought would only become more and more expensive. it was there he learned that there was power and influence in wealth when he would get detention for defending himself in a fight he didn’t start while the others got away with things because of family names.

after elementary school is when boarding school starts, where he only sees his grandmother during summer vacations because flights back home only to stay for winter break are too expensive. where he gets special permission to leave school grounds because he needs a job to earn some spending money.

grandma falls ill in the beginning of his sophomore year, but he’s so busy with school and they rarely see each other as it is ( only during the summers ), that he only finds out when he’s a junior becoming a senior. his entire summer is spent working to help pay rent for the apartment no one was living in, and then his nights at the hospital. the staff allow him a makeshift bed after he’s spent a week sleeping there, and as reluctant as he is, his grandmother tells him to go to school to continue his last year, and he obliges. she tells him she’ll be there for his graduation, and it becomes the last time he sees her.

she passes in the middle of his senior year and it’s quickly followed by news that he has a new guardian. his father, who can’t be older than thirty five years old, is geoffrey reyn, ceo of reyn enterprises ( think of wayne enterprises in that they literally have their hands in everything ). he’s come under some heavy fire recently and is not favored by the public, but what’s a better than a long lost son sob story to cover it up ??  

violence tw. literally shows up to school the next day and the energy is different because he’s for once at the top of the pyramid. the same people who had tormented him for years step on his toes and he fights back knowing he has a bite to match his bark now. the first time he feels that smug feeling of power is when he leaves the principal’s office for the first time with just a tissue.

he’s dragged around places by his dad during that summer, asked about his new life, how much better it is than living in the shabby two bedroom apartment in brooklyn and not once asked about his grandmother or if he got to attend her funeral ( which he did not ). hurriedly having applied to ashcroft, he got in, and soon he was shipped off elsewhere.

child abuse and violence tw. relationship with his dad was always very violent, but august never took hits sitting down. august wasn’t the grateful puppet geoffrey had needed, and his dad was not a savior. there’s still a lot of constraint and control he tries to place on his son, however, even though years of failure have only confirmed he can’t be controlled. the last few years, however, had been running smoothly. business and econ were finally taken up as majors and minors, their interactions less turbulent, and this was all due to one thing: octavia.

so let’s backtrack a lillll so august first meets octavia when he's 17 where he’s working off the books the job his granny has ( cleaning up after classes at a prestigious ballet studio ) due to her back acting up. he becomes infatuated with her, her lifestyle, and they quickly grow closer. she builds some sort of greed within him to want to be good enough for someone like her, or maybe just her. he swears it, and then his granny passes. the next time he meets her is two years down the line at some gala his dad would insist he attend, and they spend the night stowed away in an empty ballroom, a bottle of champagne in hand and a secret kiss shared behind closed doors. she tells him she’s thinking of applying to ashcroft and he insists that she must, that he’d wait for her. the following year, he’s there to greet her on campus, and immediately they’re an item. 

around all this time, his relationship with his dad is supperr rocky. every time they spoke they fought and when august hung up on him too much, he’d appear on campus ( an effective way of getting august not to hang up ). he’s met with octavia and her parents and he realizes the kind of status he has to uphold in order to date someone like her. he finally declares the major his father had chosen for him and understands it’s a choice he has to make to stay with her. he becomes much too obedient with his dad, knowing that the way to stay in favor with her parents would be to finally yield to what his dad wanted. so he becomes a proper heir, majoring in the correct field, taking his studies more seriously, acting and talking the right way. he falls in line to keep her, he gets along with everyone and it’s all because she dulls his sharp edges and he can lean on her. a lot of his life begins to warp around her, and that’s when his dad threatens to touch the thing that had been keeping the waters still.

geoffrey had been having complications in a business deal that octavia’s dad was refusing to agree to. with the knowledge of his crimes, getting rid of the other would be easy, and closing the deal even easier. not wanting to be tainted with such an image, he tells august to end things and even goes as far as to threaten her safety. there isn’t a doubt in august’s mind he’d follow through, knowing all the dirt on his new surname, and things with octavia come to an end, though they continue to keep seeing each other as she begins her new relationship.

has fallen into a bit of a depressive slump, even after the rest of the semester was given off to them. for the first few days afterwards, no one really sees him around. he spends his days locked up in his room, not touching his assignments and not answering to the house maids that knock on his door. he’s completely heartbroken because truly, he believed the rest of his life would be spent with octavia. then comes the anger almost immediately, because while alcohol and drugs allows him to ease the pain it doesn’t allow him to forget, and after coming to bail him out of jail three times, his father stops picking up the phone and cuts august off, taking his cards, cars, everything, unless there’s a promise to behave better. obviously his father is not someone he can come to lean on emotionally for this, and so he picks up other ways of easing the pain: alcohol, drugs, adrenaline, women.

her death is very heavily placed on him for an obvious reason ( she was the love of his life ) but it also comes with the struggle of finishing his degree. he’s so close to it, yet he feels like there’s really no reason for him to continue on with it. octavia had been the sole reason his relationship with his father had been steady. now that she’s out of the picture, there’s no need for a business degree, no need for a shining reputation, no need for whatever upper class bullshit. that’s the mindset that he’s in going into the last semester of college with, and whether he royally fucks up his future because of his grief or if he decides to push through because that’s what octavia would have wanted is up in the air. 

so as usual i’m better at describing bg rather than personality so bear with me.

getting to know august is easy, because he makes it easy. he’s amiable, playful, witty, sarcastic to a fault, but he’s also pessimistic. without octavia’s light to balance it out he’s kind of let himself sink into that cynical mindset that has always been overbearing. unlike his father, however, his anger is always quiet, still, and strikes when least expected. there’s never a scene because there’s never yelling ( unless it’s to his dad ), always low voices that drip with threats and cold eyes that warn of something worse to come if the line keeps being tread. how his knuckles become bloody is always a mystery, because you never heard about august reyn getting into a fight until another kid showed up the next day with a black eye. now, there isn’t much that can be done to bring that out in him, but that’s the dangerous part that people always tell you to look out for. it’s because he always seem so easy going that people don’t ever see the darkness until it’s too late.

i did not do a good job at explaining his personality bc i never do sdfkjsndkf BASICALLY he’s?? p chill. always seems to have that easy look on his face. always looking for trouble and getting into it with the principal, or any authority figure tbh bc fuck them. looking for a good time and is always the one to hype up the party if it feels like it’s dying. lives off of adrenaline and nicotine. will call you out on your ignorant bullshit. hates rich people even though he’s one of them and will drag anyone at ashcroft that he sees abusing their power, even though he uses his name to get away with so many things. is the first person called in his friend group if there’s a fight going down. is soooo overly sarcastic that at times it sounds like he’s being serious. has serious eye rolling problems. doesn’t yell during fights but will yell during debates and get really heated. 

[randomahsheadcanons]

Milkshake - Kit Walker x Jimmy Darling

So I basically wrote this because @americanhorrorhcs made me ship these two and @ahs-memes is the only one posting some quality content for this ship so I had to do something about it. But english is not my first language so this will probably suck. Enjoy

In the year of 1964, there was absolutely nothing about Kit Walker’s life that could have been considered normal in the slightest. Both of his wives, the only two women he had ever loved during his entire life, were dead. His children, Thomas and Julia, were “special” and now he had to raise them all by himself, as their mothers and the woman who was the closest they had to a grandmother, were dead.

Kit was a dedicated father who lived in constant fear. Fear of what could happen to his children if he left them, even for a second. His wife always spoke about the aliens as some sort of superior force, as if they were her religion. She claimed the children were a magical gift from them and they would return for them. That thought was what kept Kit laying in bed at night, trying to sleep but not being capable of erasing his own thoughts.

He imagined that his kids could be taken away from him at any moment.

Abducted.

Returned to the people that caused nothing but pain and suffering to Kit and his family, the monsters who fascinated his enthusiastic wife, Grace, but seemed to terrify his more cautious wife, Alma. The creatures that stole his life, his sleep, his sanity. The beings that psychologically scarred him for life and made him doubt himself uncountable times. Maybe, he thought after a particularly bad night, his children weren’t even his.

He knew there was something about them that made they special.

Grace and Alma both gave birth to them after having an encounter with the aliens.

It somehow made Kit realize that, if his kids were taken away from him, they would just return to the people they truly belonged with. The thought did nothing but make his anxiety and his fear of losing his kids worse. What if he couldn’t raise them? Would they leave him? They couldn’t. He was absolutely helpless without them. Something Kit never enjoyed, since he was a kid, was being alone. He couldn’t stand it.

In fact, that was the main reason why he wanted to marry Alma so soon. As soon as they met each other, Kit had a desire to move in with her and they got engaged in a short period of time, mostly because Kit could barely wait to have a life partner. He was always very fond of the idea of sharing your life with someone and spending all the good moments, the bad ones, everything, with them. He wanted to experience the whole thing.

It was hard coming back to an empty home, it made Kit wish Grace and Alma could have gotten along. And even though he liked imagining how his life could have been if his wives loved each other as much as he loved them, it wasn’t healthy to fantasize. Another woman Kit considered important in his life was his former roommate, Sister Jude, who had died recently and now Kit just wished the woman was in peace.

And now, to keep himself from losing his mind once again, Kit agreed to let Sister Mary Eunice move in with him.

Something about the ex nun seemed to change after she was possessed by the Devil. Her enthusiasm and sweet, kind nature was still a crucial part of her personality. Mary Eunice was just as lovable, gullible and innocent as he remembered but her faith didn’t survive the horrible events that took place in Briarcliff. The blonde was traumatized, horrified and had lost her obedience and faith in the Lord, just like Kit.

She refused to thank the “good Lord” for anything, recognizing she was the one who earned all she had. She had also promised to keep herself as far as she possibly could from religion and the sudden change was noticed by Kit and Lana. The journalist was having a hard time letting go of the past as she made it clear she wouldn’t let her friendship with Kit and Mary fade away with time. She wanted to have her story told, she needed it.

The truth was that Lana was almost obsessed with making people know and understand what happened to her.

What happened in Briarcliff.

Kit respected Mary Eunice’s rush and desperation to get past everything that happened just as he also could understand Lana’s need to mark it as part of her history.

Everyone had a different way to deal with it.

And Kit’s way of moving on involved accepting everything that happened to him and choosing to just let it all go. Unfortunately to Kit, the simple and close minded people who lived in the same small town in Massachusetts as him, couldn’t seem to let go anytime soon. The problem with a small town is that everybody knows each other, which seems to cause people to think they can all simultaneously judge the ones they considered “unholy”.

Mary Eunice herself was criticized for her experience, openly blamed and accused of sinning. Lana, as a lesbian who was practically forced to come out, had to get used to the slurs and the constant homophobic remarks. Kit, no matter how far that was from the truth, was still treated as a if he were a murderer. Before Briarcliff, people already had their differences with the man for his failed attempt to marry Alma.

It was something he had to deal with, being considered an outsider for wanting to “marry a nigger”.

Now it was worse, as the only people who didn’t think he was a murderer, still saw him as a schizo, a psycho or a maniac.

Kit’s bad reputation caused him to be feared, bullied or dismissed as “just another weirdo”. At first, he couldn’t care less. He was used to be the one people doubted the most and being mocked for always believing himself when no one else seemed to even try. But it soon became clear that it was way more serious than he thought. After Briarcliff, Kit managed to get back to working at the gas station but his payment decreased significantly.

At first he tried to ignore it, he wasn’t in a good position to complaint about it. Honestly, he was happy to have a job in the first place. But the real problem was that what he earned wasn’t enough to give him financial stability. He barely had enough for grocery shopping, most of what he earned had to be spent on all his bills and taxes. But the truth was that Kit wasn’t a stranger to poverty and hunger.

His family was far from wealthy, he had always been used to be mocked and considered “white trash”.

So he had no problem adjusting to his new condition.

However, no matter how willing he was to starve if it was necessary, it soon became clear that Kit wouldn’t be able to afford his simple house and take care of Thomas and Julia with what he currently earned. Mary Eunice herself was struggling to get a job and it was almost as hard for her as it was for Kit, although his bad reputation was way worse than the false rumors about the former nun, who was still adjusting to her new life.

When Kit realized that he couldn’t avoid his bad situation for long, it became more than necessary to get another job. But admitting he needed to get a job was way easier than actually finding someone who was willing to hire him. No matter how Kit pleaded and begged for a job, no one felt safe having him as an employee and he couldn’t bring himself to convince anyone that he was innocent.

The man had already lost all hope of finding a new job when he suddenly remembered he already knew a person who could be willing to help him.

Before Briarcliff, when Kit still lived a normal life, he couldn’t say he had many friends. Kit wasn’t good at making friends. He already knew most of the people who lived in the same small town as he did and he had a few childhood friends but he wasn’t exactly friends with them. The only people he once considered his friends disapproved of his marriage with Alma, which caused them to keep a distance.

However, one of the only people who never misjudged Kit or made racist remarks about his relationship with Alma, was Penny, a hard working woman who seemed to love Kit and his ex wife. Penny never said or did anything to judge Kit and even after Briarcliff, she still tried to give him emotional support, telling him how sorry she was for everything that happened to him. The kind woman even showed up at Alma’s funeral.

She was a true friend.

And as she owned one of the town’s best diners, at least in Kit’s humble opinion, the “Salt & Pepper Diner”, she could be the only person who would be willing to offer him a job.

Fortunately, Kit was right.

When he showed up at the “Salt & Pepper Diner”, Penny immediately pulled him into a tight hug. She asked him about the kids, about living with Mary Eunice and even comforted him when he mentioned how hard it was to live in a small town where people thought he was either a serial killer or a schizophrenic. Penny reassured him, making sure he knew she wasn’t suspicious of him at all and would never be.

Part of him already knew that. Penny was a sweetheart and she knew him by heart, but it felt extremely good to know for sure that someone was on his side for once in his life. Kit told her how hard it was to find a job and Penny immediately offered to help him. She said she trusted him enough to hire him as a waiter and he almost cried tears of joy and relief. He couldn’t stop thanking the generous woman.

A second job would be enough for Kit to be able to keep his house and buy everything Thomas and Julia needed. His shift started at 10:00 a.m and ended by 06:00 p.m, which meant he could keep working at the gas station. It was the first step to putting his life back together.

Poor Kit had never been so grateful in his entire life. Being deathly afraid of losing his job, he tried his best to be the best waiter he could possibly be. He told himself that mistakes would not be tolerated no matter how hard it was to do everything right, he tried to make everything as perfect as he could manage. It caused people to go easier on him, to treat him nicely for the first time since Kit was released from Briarcliff.

His cheerful attitude and politeness was enough to make people try to understand his side, it made them think about how hard it was for him and it made them realize they might have been mistreating Kit for no reason. Everything seemed to be going well for once and that’s why Kit should probably have been more careful, he knew things didn’t usually worked out well for him, at least not for long.

Kit had been working at the diner for a week when he made his first mistake.

It was an innocent, foolish accident.

It shouldn’t have been so important.

But it was important for Kit.

The man had a tendency to over think about meaningless things too much, a habit he seemed to have cultivated after Briarcliff. Everything seemed to make him anxious and he considered every single possibility of something bad happening to him, no matter how impossible it could be.

He overreacted.

Kit was serving at the bar when, as he handed a milkshake to a costumer, he got distracted by an impatient man, who practically shouted his order on Kit’s ear, and accidentally spilled the milkshake all over the counter. He immediately gasped and covered his mouth, his mind desperately trying to process what happened. Panic took over him and he felt a knot in his stomach as he heard the costumer swear.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” he gasped out, nervously glancing around and trying to find a napkin. “Okay, I’m so sorry. I’ll get you another one on the house, I-”

“Hey, calm down.”

The soothing voice helped Kit gain enough confidence to look up and face the costumer, although he was ashamed of what he just did and assumed the man was mad at him and ready to call his manager and have him fired. However, when he looked up he wasn’t faced with angry eyes and an outraged expression, what he saw instead was concerned, dark brown eyes and a reassuring smile.

His first thought was that the man was breathtakingly handsome.

He was light skinned and had short, dirty blonde hair. Attractive wasn’t enough to describe him, he was so much more. His gloved hands were resting on the counter and Kit had no idea why but he felt like he was floating as soon as he looked at his soft smile. The man wore a white shirt, a leather jacket and Kit couldn’t stop looking at it and imagining things that a straight man certainly shouldn’t be imagining.

He tried to figure out what was he planning on doing before he got lost in the man’s eyes.

Oh right, the napkins.

“I-I’ll be right with you, sir,” he said before leaving his side and frantically searching for napkins.

As he grabbed every napkin he could find, he tried to calm himself down. He felt nervous and good at the same time, his face was so warm it was probably entirely red at this point. He tried to think about something other than the way the handsome costumer licked his lips when Kit talked to him before leaving his side. When he felt like he had cooled down a little bit, he went back to the counter and started cleaning up the shake.

The man took the napkins from him and Kit looked up to him with a confused frown.

“Thanks, sugar, but you can go focus on getting that other milkshake, I can do this,” he explained, cleaning up the counter himself.

Kit was about to protest and insist he could do it himself since it was his job but the man looked up to him and winked.

He almost passed out.

Kit was having a hard time trying not to blush when suddenly the stranger took his gloves off and revealed his hands.

Kit couldn’t help but stare at them.

His thumb was apparently normal but his two other fingers seemed to be connected so it looked like he had three fingers, two of them being too long.

Eventually, the man noticed Kit was staring and buried his hands on his pockets.

“What? You think I’m a freak too, huh?”

Kit almost jumped in alarm, immediately shaking his head.

“NO, NO! I’M SORRY, I JUST… I’ve just never seen anything like it before,” he said, his voice getting gradually softer until it was barely above a whisper.

The man frowned, looking confused for a brief moment before smiling brightly, as if he was pleasantly surprised. His smile made Kit want to wrap his arms around him because it looked like he never met someone who didn’t consider him a freak. Kit would never judge anyone based on their appearance but the people of this small town would and he knew that better than anyone else. The stranger sticked out his hand and Kit looked at it.

“Name’s Jimmy.”

His accent was so lovely and it made Kit imagine things he probably shouldn’t have imagined. He shook his head, trying to ignore his crazy fantasies and glanced nervously at Jimmy’s hands, wondering if he should give him his name or not. He then realized that was a stupid thought, considering he had a name tag so he didn’t need to tell him his name. But his mouth worked faster than his mind.

“Hi, Kit. I’m Jimmy! Wait, fuck- I’m Kit… I guess,” he blurted out, mentally kicking himself for the embarrassment.

Jimmy seemed to find him cute as he chuckled and looked at Kit up and down, as if he was checking him out. Kit blushed and decided not to look into his dark brown eyes, fearing he might get lost on them again. He tried to focus on working, getting Jimmy another milkshake then successfully handing it to him, this time. He kept serving all the other costumers and trying to ignore the way Jimmy wouldn’t take his eyes off of him.

Jimmy spent the entire time admiring Kit, apparently forgetting about his milkshake, until he finally got up and put on his gloves again. He took his wallet and Kit stopped him by putting his hand on Jimmy’s hand.

“You don’t have to,” he said, smiling shyly. “It’s on the house.”

Jimmy smiled sweetly but shook his head, taking money out of his wallet and placing it on the counter.

“Thanks, baby, but it’s fine.”

“But I-I,” Kit stuttered. “I spilled your milkshake.”

Jimmy bit his lip and, once again, looked at Kit up and down and licked his lips.

“You can repay me for that,” he suggested.

“I don’t ha-”

“By going out with me tonight.”

Kit was speechless.

The most handsome man he has ever seen was asking him out on a date and he did nothing but spill his milkshake. He wanted to come up with an excuse, anything to make sure he wouldn’t need to go out with him and mess something up, just like he always did. He could argue that he wasn’t gay but even looking at Jimmy was enough to make him know that wasn’t entirely true. He couldn’t say anything, he had nothing to say.

Something told him he needed to decline it. He wasn’t enough, he could never be enough for Jimmy. He barely knew the man but there was something about him that… shined. It wasn’t hard to tell he deserved better because he was so understanding. His future was bright and now he was looking at Kit with hopeful eyes and a flirty grin. Kit couldn’t bring himself to say no.

“Come on, baby,” he smirked, encouragingly. “Why don’t we go out on a motorcycle ride after this?”

Kit opened his mouth but couldn’t say anything.

He nodded and Jimmy smiled brightly, looking almost relieved.

“I get off at 06:00 p.m,” it was all he managed to say.

Jimmy winked one last time before leaving and Kit could have died right there and he would have died happy.

It was too late when he finally realized he forgot to tell Jimmy he was deathly afraid of motorcycles.

[unfolded73]

Enough of Feeling Like This (7/7) *complete!*

Thank you so much to everyone who followed this story - I received some of the most lovely comments I’ve ever gotten on this fic. You’re all wonderful and I love you.

Summary: Many years after peace settles in Storybrooke, a struggle with drinking threatens Killian’s happy ending with his family.

This story includes depictions of alcoholism, alcohol abuse, binge drinking, you name it. Heed the trigger warnings if you need to.

Rated E. Beta’d by @j-philly-b, who pointed me toward some terrible pirate jokes in Reader’s Digest of all places, so she really went above and beyond the call on this one. Word count this chapter: 4.6k.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | meta on Killian’s drinking

Chapter 7

Killian was so lost in the mundane rhythm of patching a long tear in the mainsail, heavy needle and coarse thread weaving in and out, up and down, that he didn’t notice Snow White had boarded his ship until she was almost standing on top of him.

“Snow,” he said, looking up from his seat on the deck, shielding his eyes from the sun. “What brings you down to the harbor?”

“Emma said you’d be hard at work on the Jolly, and I thought you might need something to eat,” she said, lifting the basket she was carrying.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he demurred, but then he noticed that he was, in fact, a bit famished. “Although I do appreciate it.”

Snow surveyed his task with a raised eyebrow. The sail was partially spread out across the deck, which only began to give an impression of its true scale. “This is a huge job. Couldn’t Emma use magic to help you?”

He shrugged. “Perhaps, but for now, I don’t need to trouble her. Besides, there’s something soothing about the labor.” Gazing out over the prow, he added, “and I feel like it’s a debt I owe my ship.” He set aside the section of sail he was working on as Snow laid a stadium blanket on an empty spot and began unpacking her basket. It quickly became clear she’d brought enough food for twelve people.

Snow surveyed her banquet with a critical eye. “Yes, okay, I brought too much.”

“Especially given that I’m trying to drop a few pounds,” he said, patting his stomach as he seated himself next to her on the blanket.

“Oh please, you look better than you have in years,” Snow said. “None of us are as thin as we were when we were young.”

“Aye, but I was young for a very, very long time,” he said with a wink. Picking up a slice of cheese, he took a bite. “As to my looking better, a month without alcohol will do that.”

Snow smiled and reached out, gripping his hook as if he could feel the pressure of her fingers. “I’m so proud of you.”

Killian grimaced, looking down at her hand curled around the curved metal. “I don’t know if it’s anything to be proud of. I should have done it years ago.”

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is today, and every day from here on out. That’s all you can do, right? Take it day by day?”

Killian swallowed against a lump in his throat. “Aye. Thank you.”

Snow looked up at the ropes crisscrossing over their heads. “So what’s on your to-do list? What do you have to do to make her seaworthy?”

Chewing and swallowing a bite of apple, Killian let his head fall back to follow his mother-in-law’s gaze. “Replace much of the rigging with fresh rope, mend the sails, repaint… It’s a long list.”

“Well, David and I can give you a hand anytime you need it; all you have to do is ask. And I’m sure a lot of people in Storybrooke would be willing to pitch in.”

As if on cue, Maureen appeared at the top of the gangplank, hopping down onto the deck in an old t-shirt and cut-off shorts. Killian bit his tongue, remembering the lecture he’d gotten from Emma once when he’d scolded Maureen for showing off too much skin. After the earful he got from his wife about putting the blame for men’s behavior onto the way women choose to dress, he’d learned his lesson about saying anything on the topic.

“Oh my god, there’s food? I’d have gotten down here earlier if I’d known there was food!” Maureen bounced over and dropped onto the blanket next to her grandmother. She crossed her legs, shorts riding up higher on her thighs.

Killian glared. Not that it made being confronted with his daughter’s womanly appearance any easier to take. With a sigh, he averted his gaze from Maureen and focused on his lunch.

“So, I heard there’s been a breakthrough on what you’re wearing next weekend to the ball,” Snow said in an almost sing-songy voice.

Maureen took the nudging from Snow with surprising grace and only a small sigh. “Yeah, I found something to wear that isn’t completely awful.”

“I’m so glad!” her grandmother enthused. “Now we just have to see about getting your hair done.”

Killian looked up to see if that would get a rise out of his daughter, but she remained placid. “Yeah, I was thinking purple this time. What do you think, Grandma?”

Snow huffed. “I think your natural hair color is a lovely shade of brown not unlike my own once was, but you do what you want.”

When they were finished polishing off as much of the food as they could, Snow packed the leftovers up. “I’ve gotta run,” Snow said, her hand settling on Killian’s shoulder, “but will you call us to come help the next time you’re planning a day to work out here? We could make it a family project!”

Uncertain if he would prefer the controlled chaos of the whole Charming clan climbing all over his ship to the calming solitude of working alone, Killian summoned a smile. Perhaps in small doses, it would be nice. “I will.”

Snow kissed him on the cheek. “Take care.”

After he’d helped Snow down the gangplank, Killian returned to his daughter. “Can I pull down more of the old rigging?” she asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Aye, if you wear the safety harness.”

She rolled her eyes, but there was no malice behind it. “Yes, Dad.” Then her grin widened. “Hey, didn’t you notice?”

He was already gazing up, determining the best place for his daughter to begin her task. “Notice what?”

“This.”

Killian dropped his gaze and saw that Maureen was pointing to her nose, where she’d replaced the diamond stud with a small gold hoop.

“I thought you’d like it,” she said. “More piratey.”

Suddenly, Killian felt like he might cry. “I love it,” he said, his voice coming out raspy.

“Ugh, Dad, don’t get mushy about it, it’s just a nose ring.” Visibly discomfited by his reaction, she reached for the harness he required her to wear when she climbed up into the rigging of his ship.

“I know, but it’s…” He took a deep breath. “For a long time, I thought you were ashamed of my past. After you learned I’d been a villain, you didn’t seem to want much to do with this old girl anymore,” he said, patting his hand against the mast. “Which I could understand.”

Maureen gave him a stricken look. “No, god, it wasn’t that!” She gestured helplessly, her shoulders rising and falling. “It was just me being a stupid kid, sitting on my ass and playing video games instead of coming outside and doing stuff. Why didn’t you just say something?”

“That’s the thing about self-loathing, darling; you tend to assume that any negative feedback from another person is only what you deserve.”

Maureen raised an eyebrow. “You sound like a therapist.”

“Well, I’ve been spending a good bit of time in therapy lately, so…” He shrugged his shoulders.

She snorted, returning to untangling the harness. “Yeah.”

“I realized recently that I allowed us to drift apart these last couple of years because I feared you were better off without so much of me in your life.”

He could see a glassiness come into her eyes, lashes fluttering as she blinked back tears. “Well, that’s really stupid, Dad.”

“I know, love. Sometimes your dad can be very stupid.”

She laughed, a little gasped hiccup of a giggle, then she sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand before following his gaze up at the main mast. “Okay, then. Where do you want me to start?”

~*~

Emma clicked her tablet off and set it aside, turning off her bedside lamp. She closed her eyes, wiggling a little as she settled herself against the give of the mattress. Lately, she’d been wondering whether a new mattress would stop that pain in her lower back that she’d been waking up with, but she wasn’t sure if they needed a softer mattress or a firmer one. She rolled from one side over onto the other, shifting again to get comfortable.

“You all right, love?” Killian asked.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No.”

“I’m just having a hard time getting comfortable.”

Killian rolled over onto his back, holding his arm out to her, so she scooted over and snuggled into his side, slinging an arm over his chest. It was a little too warm to fall asleep this way, but it was nice having a cuddle since he was offering.

They settled into silence again. Using the stump of his left arm, he pressed up and down along the curve of her spine, soothing the ache in her back. It struck Emma suddenly to try to remember the point when Killian had gone from merely exposing his amputation to her to touching her with it. Somewhere over the course of all their years together, he’d stopped even thinking about whether she would find that kind of touch unpleasant, and of course she didn’t. She was so accustomed to his lack of a left hand — the way his stump or his hook felt against her skin, the tasks he’d be able to do without aid and the ones he might want her help with — she hadn’t given any real thought to his disability in ages.

“Do you think Philip would want to run for sheriff when my term is up?” Killian asked.

Emma lifted her head to look at him. “He’s awfully young.”

“My term won’t be up for a couple of years yet.”

“He’ll still be awfully young in a couple of years.”

Killian sighed. “I suppose.”

“You don’t want to be sheriff anymore, do you?” Emma asked.

“I’m content to complete the term for which I was elected.”

“Killian.”

He pinched her arm gently. “I am.”

Emma rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, babe. I feel like I must’ve pushed you into doing a job that you didn’t want.”

He was silent for a few moments, not denying her statement, which hurt a little. “I think I enjoyed it before because I was working with you, not because I had any particular passion for law enforcement. So now, I’m… at loose ends, I suppose. I don’t hate it, but I recently realized that don’t get much fulfillment from it.” He rubbed her back again. “And I’m starting to be rather keenly aware of the fact that I have a finite number of years left.”

“Wow, that’s a little morbid,” she said, scratching her nails through his chest hair.

“I just mean I’m pondering what we might do together after my term as sheriff is over. Maureen will be nearly grown, and you and I might think about doing more traveling.”

Emma lifted her head again, this time with a smile growing on her lips.

“An adventure at sea, maybe? You, me, the Jolly, and the open ocean?”

He reached up and slid his index finger down the slope of her nose. “Precisely, my love.”

“We could disappear for months at a time if we wanted to,” she said, warming to the topic. “Hop from tropical island to tropical island—”

“Clothing optional, of course.” Killian’s hand slid down, seeking under her shirt and cupping the side of her breast where it was pressed against his torso.

Emma snorted. “Yeah, that’s not the appealing prospect it once was.”

“Nonsense.” Killian rolled them onto their sides, nuzzling her neck, his warm breath making her shiver. “You’re beautiful.” His mouth came up to meet hers, and she welcomed his kiss. Slow and gentle presses of his lips shifted into something more, deep and wet and searching.

“So you’ll travel the world with me?” he whispered as he lifted her shirt up, mouth descending on her breast.

“I’d love to,” she said, gasping as he sucked on her nipple. “With how hard you’ve been working, that ship’s going to be in better shape than it was when you got it.” He raised his head, giving her sad smile, and Emma wondered what she’d said to kill the mood. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just… keeping busy makes it easier not to think about how badly I want a drink sometimes.”

Emma reached out to cup his cheek, uncertain how to respond. She didn’t think a vague platitude about being strong or taking it one day at a time would be helpful. “I’ll be here with you no matter what, you know that, right?”

He nodded, turning his head to kiss her palm. He seemed to be hesitating over telling her something else so Emma waited, resisting the urge to writhe against him, offering him a physical distraction from his thoughts.

“I called him the other day,” he finally said.

Emma wrinkled her brow. “Called who?”

“The other me. The one from the wish realm.”

Unable to keep the surprise off her face, Emma tried to read her husband’s expression in the dim moonlight. She hadn’t even known Killian had a way to contact his other self, much less that he’d want to.

“He’s been sober for years, and I thought… I don’t know. I thought he could tell me it would get easier.”

Emma continued to stroke his face. “And did he?”

He grimaced. “Not exactly. But it was helpful all the same.”

“I’m glad.” She rose up on the bed so that she could kiss him again. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you,” he said between kisses, his breath puffing out over her lips.

“Now,” Emma said, lying back down and pulling Killian over her, “what can I do to get this foreplay back on track?”

Killian chuckled, diving in for another kiss.

~*~

“Hey, looking sharp!” David called, ambling across the community center ballroom to join Killian. He appeared every inch the king that he would have been in his home realm.

Killian tried to put his hand in his pocket, but the Enchanted Forest-style breeches were too tight to be able to do such a thing. He looked down at his outfit and grimaced. “I would have preferred something more of the black and leather variety, but Emma insisted on this,” he said, running his hand down the front of his embroidered vest. “Said it reminded her of our adventure in the past all those years ago.”

David gave him a sympathetic smile. “Emma’s with Maureen and Snow, I assume?”

“Aye, and Ella and Lucy.” Henry and his family had been staying with Emma and Killian during their visit to Storybrooke. Killian tried to think of the most diplomatic thing to say about the chaos of hair products and makeup that seemed to have taken over his home. “I was a bit out of my depth with the ladies’ preparations for the ball.”

David just rolled his eyes. “Please. As if you haven’t always been the vainest man I know.”

Killian smirked and leaned closer. “Well, Dave, when you’ve got it…”

“Uh huh, whatever.” David searched the crowd. “Wasn’t Henry riding over with you?”

“He did, but he was waylaid by a group of old friends.”

They stood side by side, watching as Storybrooke’s residents moved around the room, munching on canapes and exclaiming at each others’ appearances in formalwear. A constant stream of people came over to greet them until Killian started to feel like he’d stumbled into an impromptu receiving line somehow.

When the music started to play and most people’s attention was drawn to the dance floor, Killian sighed heavily and scrubbed a hand over his face. “This is just the sort of event that a flask of rum made much more tolerable.”

David put a hand on his back and gestured over to the banquet table. “I know a glass of punch isn’t exactly the same thing, but I’d be happy to get you one.”

“Thanks, mate.”

Just as Dave disappeared into the crowd, Henry appeared out of it and made his way over. “I just heard from Ella — the ladies will be here momentarily.”

“Good.” Killian had been feeling a bit uncomfortable around his stepson since he arrived. He knew Emma had given Henry a head’s up about the fact that Killian wasn’t drinking before Henry and his family arrived in town, but he wasn’t sure exactly what she’d said.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Henry said, his eyes on the entranceway as he spoke. “That night you called me, several weeks ago… the night I thought you sounded sad… was that…?”

“Are you asking if that was related to my drinking problem?” Killian asked, saving Henry from his floundering. “Aye, I was looking for a distraction, something to convince me not to fall back into the bottle.” He stole a quick glance at his stepson. “I wasn’t successful, not that night.”

“I’m sorry, Killian, I wish I had known—”

“Don’t be silly, lad, how could you have known if I refused to tell you?”

“Still.” Henry met his gaze. “I hope you know you can call me anytime, day or night.”

“Thank you,” Killian replied.

“Hey, your daughter was asking me a lot of questions about other realms last night,” Henry continued. “Are you guys planning a trip I don’t know about?”

“No.” Killian was reassured that his daughter was actually talking with her older brother, someone she’d professed to resent, but he worried about her motives. “Although given that she expressed unhappiness with her ordinary, peaceful life recently, I worry what she might be contemplating.”

“Ordinary, peaceful life, huh?” Henry chuckled. “What a nightmare.”

Killian gave him a half-smile. “My daughter says that all the tales of magic and curses are unreal to her. She feels distant from us, like she’s not a part of our world. And I don’t know how to change that.”

Raising an eyebrow, Henry said, “Well, the obvious answer is take her to visit the Enchanted Forest yourself.” He crossed his arms. “How come you never have?”

“Because I want her to be safe. Storybrooke is safe, or at least it has been since the Final Battle. That realm may not be.” He sighed. “And what am I going to show her? The ports where I traded my stolen loot for gold? The taverns that I drank and whored my way through?”

Henry acknowledged that with a tilt of his head. “Okay, well I wouldn’t recommend that, no. But you still might want to consider a trip. You and mom can keep her safe. She deserves to see where she comes from, don’t you think?” He smirked. “And she deserves to experience first hand what living without modern plumbing is like so she’ll appreciate this place more.”

Killian chuckled at that as David rejoined them, carrying cups of punch.

The music stopped and Snow White stepped up onto the stage, which made Killian whirl around toward the door, looking for his wife and daughter.

“Can I have your attention please?” she said into a microphone, and the din in the room gradually quieted down as everyone turned to face their mayor. Killian stole a look at David, who was looking up at his wife in her elegant ball gown with the same lovestruck expression he’d had for as long as Killian known him.

“First, I wanted to say that the twentieth annual Storybrooke Fair has been the most successful one yet, and it’s due to the tireless efforts of so many of you, so give yourselves a round of applause!” She clapped her hands enthusiastically and everyone followed. Killian spotted his deputy across the room clapping as he leaned over and whispered to the lady on his arm. When Killian caught the man’s eye, he gave Philip a nod of approval. Philip had worked harder than anyone to help implement Snow’s grand vision for this fair. He’d make an excellent Sheriff when the time came. Storybrooke would be in good hands.

“Second, I want to say that you all clean up remarkably well!” Snow said, engendering a laugh from the crowd. “I have to admit, I didn’t just want to have this ball because I love getting dressed up and dancing, although I do.” There was another genuine laugh. Snow certainly knew how to wrap her audience around her finger, Killian thought.

“One of the things that the first dark curse caused me to miss was a formal debut for my own daughter, Emma.” David had moved over toward the stage, and at this point he joined his wife, taking her hand. “So when it occurred to me that we could introduce our granddaughter at a ball on the occasion of her fifteenth birthday, I couldn’t pass up the chance.

“Now, I’m sure Maureen doesn’t want me to stand up here and talk about how intelligent she is, or how talented, or how beautiful and kind-hearted, so I won’t say any of that. Nor will I say how much I’m enjoying watching her blossoming into a young woman who has great things in her future. Instead let me just introduce our princess, Maureen Swan-Jones!”

Snow gestured to the back of the room as the music started up again, and first he saw Emma, Ella, and Lucy come through the doorway. Emma wore a pale yellow gown that he’d caught a glimpse of as she’d brought it into the house a few weeks ago, but she’d quickly spirited it into a spare closet, scolding him for peeking at it. The beaded neckline accentuated her delicate collarbones, and Killian found himself impatient to dance with his wife, to put his hand on her waist and to breath in the scent of her skin.

Then his daughter appeared, and all thoughts of Emma momentarily fled his mind.

Her hair was close to the natural dark brown color that they shared, but with streaks of purple (which it turned out she hadn’t been joking about) woven through the brown. It was swept up on top of her head, and he thought he could make out sparking glitter in it as well.

The gown she wore matched the deep purple in her hair. With its simple lines dropping straight to the floor, it never would have been mistaken for a ball gown from his realm, but it was striking all the same. A memory arose in his mind suddenly, of the time Snow had given Maureen a little dress-up princess gown as a gift. Maureen must have been around seven years old, and while she had happily put the gown on, within an hour she’d ended up covered in mud, the costume entirely ruined.

With pink cheeks and what Killian could tell was a mostly fake smile, Maureen walked the path that her mother and sister-in-law had cleared toward the stage, where she greeted her grandparents with hugs and kisses on cheeks. As Killian watched Maureen, Emma slipped up beside him and took his hand.

“She looks good, right?” his wife whispered.

“Aye.” He swallowed. “I can’t believe she’s my daughter.”

Emma grinned. “I think those were your first words when you held her at the hospital.” The music changed, and Emma let go of his hand and gave him a push on the shoulder. “Go on; this dance is for you, Dad.”

He took a couple of steps and then turned back to Emma. “You’ll leave room for me on your dance card later?”

Emma winked. “Count on it, sailor.”

Killian made his way to the dance floor, where he met Maureen and held out his hook for her to hold. Her hand trembled slightly, but she took the dancing position she had reluctantly practiced with him in the days leading up to the ball.

“This is excruciating,” she murmured as he began to lead her around the dance floor.

“I know, love. Just a few more minutes and the worst of it will be over.” He could feel her start to step wrong, but his strong leading movements kept them with the rhythm of the music. “You look beautiful.”

“Ugh, don’t.”

“And I’m not just saying that because I’m your dad. You are beautiful.”

She grimaced. “I actually don’t hate the way my hair ended up. And the dress is okay.”

“I think your grandfather expected you to show up in a pantsuit.”

Maureen rolled her eyes. “He knows we aren’t all butch, right?”

“Well, in his defense, you’ve never been a particularly girly girl.”

His daughter shrugged, a hint of a smile on her face. “I figured I’d give it a try and see what it was like.”

“And?”

“My feet hurt and this lipstick tastes gross.”

Killian laughed. “I’m sorry, love.”

They made a quiet circuit around the room, and Killian watched his daughter’s gaze dart from place to place. He could feel the tension in her shoulders, no doubt a reaction to so many eyes being on her.

“Why did no one want to play cards with the pirate?” he said.

Maureen blinked, turning her attention to him. “What?”

“I said, why did no one want to play cards with the pirate?”

“Dad, no.”

“Because he was standing on the deck.”

She groaned, but she also relaxed a little bit.

“Why is pirating so addictive?”

“Dad.” She almost laughed, covering it with an exaggerated furrow of her brow.

“Because once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!” he replied in an exaggerated accent, jiggling her hand with the hook she was gripping.

“Oh my god.” This time she couldn’t stop herself from laughing, her eyes twinkling under the lights.

“I love you, my girl,” he said, giving her a wide smile. “Thank you for dancing with me.”

“Love you too, Dad.”

Killian continued to twirl his daughter around the dance floor, surrounded by friends and family, and he let the happiness of the moment settle into his heart.

Once, long ago, he’d defined his happy ending as being with Emma, and he had focused entirely on making himself into her perfect partner, regardless of his own identity. Then he became a father to Maureen, and the definition of his happy ending shifted. But even then, it hadn’t been about him, not really. He’d once told Maureen, cuddling her on his lap while she asked uncomfortable questions about the story of how he died, that Zeus must’ve brought him back to life because he’d needed to bring Maureen into the world. But that hadn’t been just comforting words for a distressed child; he’d believed it, because why else would a god care if a blackguard like himself lived or died? It was for Emma. It was for Maureen. Never for himself.

His happy ending was never an ending, nor was it the beginning of unending happiness as he’d once naively hoped. It was this, it was moments like this. Moments like tomorrow, when he’d be back at work on his ship with his family by his side. The burdens he carried would never truly be gone, but he had people to help shoulder them, and that made them bearable. And right now, in this community center dressed up to look like a ballroom, with this wonderful, awkward, fiery girl on the cusp of womanhood in his arms, he could finally accept that maybe he deserved this life. That the happiness he felt was earned, and that it belonged to him.

End

[mrsabbington-blog]

Farewell, my dear Watson: Amanda Abbington on Sherlock and her break-up with Martin Freeman

The actress’s career was going from strength to strength when her relationship with her co-star imploded. She tells Bryan Appleyard how she contained the fallout

Amanda Abbington — who, as Mary Morstan, took a bullet for Sherlock Holmes — has a new man whom she won’t name. “He’s lovely, we’re keeping it very much on the low down. We don’t want lots of people to know. We’ve been together for about a year now. He’s an actor and he’s delightful. He’s very mindful of my situation and I’m very mindful of his.”

She was with Holmes’s sidekick, Dr Watson — aka Martin Freeman — for 16 years. They have two children, Grace and Joe. They broke up in 2016 while they were both starring in Sherlock.

“We still get on really well, we still really both admire each other as actors … he’s a great guy, but we just couldn’t live with each other any more.”

Given that Sherlock was an international hit, and that Freeman achieved global superstardom as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, this was a high-profile break-up. She was papped, looking supposedly “disconsolate” while out shopping.

Trying to keep the new man a mystery is understandable. But it won’t be easy. Tabloids have recently been reporting that she and Northern Irish actor Jonjo O’Neill are an item. She is neither confirming nor denying this. The paps would have been after her anyway, because she is the star of Safe, a new Netflix series by the crime author Harlan Coben. The first strange thing about this show is her co-star Michael C Hall, who played the Miami serial killer Dexter and the gay undertaker David Fisher in Six Feet Under. Here, he is a dodgy English husband in a wealthy suburban enclave (in fact Manchester, but you’re not supposed to know that). The strange thing is his English accent, which is near perfect.

“He was really worried about that. English accents are hard for Americans to do. I don’t think he had a voice coach.”

Her voice has a slight southeastern working-class flavour. She talks quickly, eagerly and laughs a lot and, for some reason, she seems much prettier in the flesh than on TV. I am sure, however, there is something wrong with her tastebuds. We’re both having tuna salad at a studio in north London. The fish is perfectly inedible, but she eats it all.

To get back to Hall — he will always be Dexter to me, so I’m pretty sure he’s guilty of something other than the affair he’s having with Sophie, the detective sergeant played by Abbington, which is revealed in the first episode. Also revealed is the fact that Sophie’s ex-husband is living in a caravan in her front garden.

This is the second time she’s played a detective sergeant. The first was Jo Moffatt in the series Cuffs in 2015. The BBC cancelled that after one series. She was also Detective Chief Inspector Louise Munroe in Case Histories, another BBC series. Female police officers, we agree, have a long and distinguished screen history. “Prime Suspect,” I suggest. “Helen Mirren!”

“The Gentle Touch!” she replies. “Cagney and Lacey! Angie Dickinson! I loved Police Woman. I wanted to be Angie Dickinson when I was growing up.”

There’s a good reason she fantasised about being a strong woman with a gun. For three years at primary school she was badly bullied — her lunches were stolen and she was called ugly, stupid and smelly. Nobody would play with her.

“There was a group of girls who made my life miserable. I am now very, very aware of it when it happens anywhere. If it happens to my kids or on the street or on the internet I’ll wade in.”

She’s certainly an active and sweary anti-bullying and anti-general-nastiness campaigner on Twitter — she is @CHIMPSINSOCKS.

“I’ve never understood the c**** who abuse and hurt animals,” was her latest tweet as I was writing this. “Wonderful. Just wonderful. Let’s make older women feel even more f****** invisible and unattractive,” she tweeted about a story saying men preferred younger women.

She was brought up in Hertfordshire, her father was a taxi driver and her mother was tough: she finally found out about the bullies and went round to the house of one of them. “If your child does anything like that to my daughter again,” she said, “I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

Her mother’s fierceness and her grandmother’s advice seem to have prepared her for the perils of show business. When I ask her the inevitable Harvey Weinstein question, she says she’s never had a problem. “I always go on a film set as a mate of everybody. I set my stall out. I’m just going to be like the funny mate who hangs out with the sparks and the prop boys, and I make sure I am not someone you can take the piss out of or take advantage of. I learnt that from my nana — be strong, make them laugh and don’t take shit from anybody.”

Anyway, there she is in Hertfordshire worshipping Angie Dickinson and wanting to be on stage. Somehow this leads her into dancing. She studied dance from the age of five. Eventually she got auditions for Cats and Starlight Express, but she knew she wasn’t good enough. In any case, the decision was made for her when, aged 18, she did the splits and ripped the muscles in her groin.

“That ended my dancing career, but I would never have been a good dancer. Then a drama teacher told me that he thought my talent lay in acting and he was absolutely right. I’d always performed, always made up stories and done funny voices. I went to a tiny drama school in Hitchin and I felt like I’d come home.”

She picked up small parts — The Bill, Wycliffe, Casualty and so on. But there was no real breakthrough. Well, there was one: the Maltesers TV ads she made with Katherine Parkinson. Unlike almost every TV ad ever made anywhere, they are still worth watching.

At one point she went 18 months without any work, changing her agent half a dozen times in desperation. The first stirrings of a change in her fortunes came with ITV’s Mr Selfridge — she was Josie Mardle — which ran for four series between 2013 and 2016.

“My character was an amalgamation of quite a few women who worked within the top echelons of Selfridges. There was so much going on in those years — the suffragettes, the Titanic. It was a dream job.”

It was a success, but not huge and a bit middle-aged — it was not for geeks, millennials or snowflakes, so it could not really go, as we must say, viral. All that changed when the actor and screenwriter Mark Gatiss invited her and Freeman to sit in on a discussion on the third series of Sherlock. They wanted to bring in a new character from the books, Mary Morstan, who first appears in The Sign of Four. Abbington had a couple of ideas. “I said Nicola Walker, she would be amazing in it. Or Olivia Colman.”

It was a set-up, they were going to offer it to her all along. She burst into tears. Sherlock was the big TV show of the moment.

“People started to say hello to me in the street when Sherlock started. Mr Selfridge wasn’t iconic. Sherlock hit the ground running and everyone went mad about it.”

She did seven episodes in two series, then she saved the life of Holmes and sacrificed her own by taking the bullet; it’s an invented incident, Mary dies in the books, but the cause is unknown. I ask her why a mouthy, Estuary-accented working-class girl like her would take a bullet for a toff — Holmes being played by the old Harrovian Benedict Cumberbatch.

“I know! Why would she do that? I wouldn’t, I’d run the other way.”

Did being killed off upset her?

“No, it made sense. And, anyway, you never really leave Sherlock, there are always flashbacks. So if they ever do another one I’m hoping they’ll have me back.”

The strange thing about her role in Sherlock was not simply that it made her famous. Out there on the easily offended, lost-its-grip-on-reality internet it made her notorious as the scheming woman who came between the previously happy and — in the imaginations of some fans — gay relationship between Holmes and Watson.

“I made the mistake of talking about the fan art very early on. They used to do some beautiful work about Watson and Sherlock being together as a couple, and I made an off-the-cuff remark that I wasn’t entirely happy with this because my kids might see it. The fallout was terrible and I felt really bad. I wasn’t being disparaging about their work. It got out of hand and I managed to make a lot of enemies. I had to do a lot of damage limitation. It’s because they’re fiercely protective of the show and that’s brilliant! But it means you have to treat it with a lot of respect.”

Meanwhile, Freeman had to be away for years in New Zealand shooting The Hobbit. While away she had the children to look after and had a cancer scare — a lump in her breast that turned out to be harmless. She also landed herself in trouble with the taxman. She was declared bankrupt because of an unpaid £120,000 tax bill. “I didn’t pay enough over a period of years and it accumulated, but for the record I paid it all back with a huge amount of interest,” she says. “Because I’m an idiot and I didn’t put enough away. It was my biggest regret and now I make sure everything is in place where it can never happen again.”

On top of that, their relationship was in trouble and, in the midst of the Sherlock episodes that put them on screen together, they broke up. They kept it as quiet as they could. “When we broke up nobody knew, we didn’t tell anybody except for a few key people because they had to know, because of the logistics of hotels and stuff. It took six months for it to get out and a lot of that was while we were working on Sherlock.

“We were not children, we weren’t going to start throwing crap at each other. We were professional and we were going to get on and make a show and be civil to each other. That’s far more important than being angry and being sad.”

Safe could have her up there again. The first episode I saw looked very promising and Coben does seem to be associated with hits. We’ll see.

Abbington, meanwhile, is back in her home village of Little Heath, Hertfordshire, with her parents living down the road. She’s an only child, they’re close. She loved being an only child because it made it easier to get on with adults and she never had to put up with rows like those between her children.

“Please, Mummy, can I get an agent,” says Grace, who is nine. She wants to be an actor. Abbington thinks she has the talent and presence to succeed. But she’s cautious. Parts like Mary Morstan and Josie Mardle don’t grow on trees.

Safe launches on Netflix on May 10

[vrsdomx]

Cw: abuse, SA, r word, childhood trauma

My life makes me want to vomit. There was too many disgusting things done and said to me as a child and even now. It’s hard to be sober when I just have all their voices in my head - my abusive father, my emotionally manipulative and gaslighting mother, sexism and misogyny that came to play with a trad Mexican catholic family and their strong gender roles experienced since I was a child, the sexualizing of my body as a young female perceived person, the gaslighting of my siblings that “why I couldnt stay quiet and listen”. That I’m “making things harder for myself and everyone else”, and that I caused everything bad to my family. Being the evil in the family, the difficult child. The one that visually appeals to my family’s gaze with my light skin and colored eyes but shames me for not being their exact image of “beauty” and Obedience . One in relation to colonization and assimilation into white American culture as well as the culture of a “proper” catholic family with Mexican roots, aka colonization of mexica people and being the result of that. There was a lot at play. whiteness was the only thing I could give to them and I made sure to make an effort on making my skin whiter because to me that was desirable as a kid. I slowly start to feminize myself according to what a catholic traditional mexican women is supposed to be, not because I grew but because it was my last attempt to assimilate. I then quiet, distance, and cut them off, not to see them for years. no sabo. I don’t speak colonizer. I don’t speak ignorance and I don’t speak in binary context, I don’t speak to assimilate. I’m forever lost. Only to find that colonization is a bigger monster, one that constantly will take everything I have to offer and one that did its work to consume me. i just want community and family. All I got was trauma being passed down and it doesn’t stop w family. my exes broke me down constantly and it had a lot to do with their own trauma that they projected. My recent ex Janis that constantly physically assaulted me, as well as harassing and r***ing me, used me and threw me aside. one ex I grew up from high school who made me feel inferior and gaslighted me from being mentally ill because “Mexicans” are supposed to be hard working and optimistic and being mentally ill = whiteness to them and being sensitive. so of course he put me down for being a white Mexican (even tho he is too) and me“whitewashed” When really it was just him taking pride in being exploited and perhaps having a deeper insecurity that he needed to project to feel a part of society. I will never have some sort of pride knowing my grandmother came here at a young age and had to work for these rich white people as a maid and even took care of their kids when she had her own to take care of. That she raised her kids to assimilate into American culture to be successful and that was passed down to the next generation. There is no pride in that. There’s no pride in alcoholism that ruined my moms family and led to her being exposed to csa that leaves her feeling hopeless and helpless, with a narcissistic abusive husband and there is no pride in exploitation of her parents that left her alone in her childhood, just to pass down similar traumas to her kids. Feeling hopeless that people in our own community don’t care about harming their own. All the domestic abuse that has been recurrent in my life that all relates back to addiction and or poverty. not to invalidate anyone else because trauma is trauma at the end of it all but when it comes from your own it really hurts, especially when your people suffer - gets you down in another kind of way. Where’s the power if you have similar ideas of the colonizer and act on them with no shame? hurt people with no shame? If I’m not soft, you know why. I just want to cry and never be sober again. Accepting the things I cannot change and running with the things I can. Some people you have to leave behind in the past, some people just won’t be able to grow with you and need to be cut off for you to be healthy and strong.

….being sober has its charm tho. Being hopeful has its moments.

[longhornfabrays]

Headcanon #001 - Character Questions

Taken from here. Edited a bit.

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

Lucy Quinn Fabray

Where and when were you born?

Allen, Texas on May 28th, 1999

Who are/were your parents? 

Russel Fabray - Lawyer

Judy Fabray - Housewife

Do you have any siblings?

Frannie Fabray - Older sister - Housewife

Where do you live now, and with whom? 

Austin, Texas in an apartment on her own.

What is your occupation?

Student

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

5′5″, blonde hair, hazel eyes, Caucasian, shoulder length hair, cheerleader body, wears mainly dresses

To which social class do you belong?

Upper class

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

Allergic to dust

Are you right- or left-handed?

Left-handed

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

She stands very straight and can have a rest bitch face. She never cusses or takes the lords name in vain. She rarely uses emojis or texting language when typing, if she does it’s usually just lol. She is very straight forward and can come off as rude to some. 

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

Quinn had a difficult childhood. She was pressured to be more like her sister and bullied at school for being overweight. Because of this, she stayed in a lot and played video games to get her mind off everything. After losing the weight, she still felt the pressure to be like her sister, but her school days got better and even became popular once she joined the cheerleading squad. 

What is your earliest memory?

Staying the summers with her grandparents in Savannah, Georgia.

How much schooling have you had?

She has had from Kindergarten up to her junior year of university. She will be doing her senior year as well and possibly go on to get more education.

Did you enjoy school?

When she was younger, she did not. She often tried to get out of going to school. After things started getting better, she loved it. She loved her Queen B status and would go to every school event. She continues to love school.

While growing up, did you have any role models? 

She found most of her role models to be fictional including Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider series. She often wanted to be just like her, but her thoughts changed as she got older. She also looked up to her grandmother on her mom’s side of the family due to how she created her own path instead of following her family’s wishes for her.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

Quinn considers herself to be quite the Daddy’s girl, as he would dote on her and give her anything she wanted. He still does. She has always been at conflict with her mother and sister as they want her to be more like them. She got on with her grandparents, her Grandma Eleanor being her favorite. Now, she gets on great with her cousin of sorts by marriage, Sebastian, and considers him her favorite family member. She wants to get close to her niece and try to show her she doesn’t have to be like most of the women in the Fabray family.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Archaeologist and then a game developer

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

Playing video games, reading, and dancing

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

She wasn’t popular from K-6th grade, but after losing weight and joining the cheerleading team in 7th grade, she became popular and stayed that way the rest of her school years. She didn’t consider anyone her true friend, and didn’t get those until she started at UT.

When and with whom was your first kiss?

Kyle Stevens

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

She’s not. She lost her virginity to Kyle when she was 16.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Everything that happened between her 6th and 7th grade years.

Who has had the most influence on you?

Currently, it’s Brittany, Santana, Sebastian, and Finn. Her family also does to a point because she likes to do things that will upset her mother or sister.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Reaching her millions of followers on Twitch and YouTube as a gamer. However, as that’s a secret, she would say being the captain of the squad in high school.

What is your greatest regret?

Not being herself.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

Being mean to those not as popular as she was in high school.

When was the time you were the most frightened?

Recently when she had a little meltdown after not being sure what exactly she was doing with her life.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

Marley slapping her in front of everyone during karaoke, even though she knows she deserved it.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

Hiding her true self but to be popular.

What is your best memory?

Revealing everything to Brittany and having the girl still want to be with her.

What is your worst memory?

Not treating Finn the way he deserved to be treated.

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

She’s more of the type to be realistic, even if that means being pessimistic.

What is your greatest fear?

Her father being ashamed of her.

What are your religious views?

Christian

What are your political views?

Her family is more Democratic, but she has a more for the best of everyone. 

What are your views on sex?

She’s more opinionated about it when it comes to losing virginity than keep having sex. If you’re happy and completely sure you won’t regret it, go for it.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

She does.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

Being true to yourself and happy with who you are.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

She definitely hides a lot of herself, especially from people she doesn’t trust all the way. With those she does, she tries to be as honest as possible.

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Those she considers her closest friends, including Finn, Sebastian, Brittany, and Santana. Her niece she would do this for as well.

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

She tries to treat everyone nicely, but bluntly as well. Crossing her, though, would be a bad idea because she is good at tearing down people.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Her closest friends because they are definitely more like her family than her own family.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Her Grandma Eleanor because they are so much alike.

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? 

Sebastian, Finn, Brittany, Santana, Rachel, Marley, Sam. She considers Seb, Britt, and Finn her best friends.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? 

She is currently dating Brittany Pierce.

Have you ever been in love?

She was in love when she was with Kyle, but that was more for the popularity and what the relationship brought her. She is realizing she’s in love with Brittany.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? 

She has not, but she does want kids.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Sebastian, Finn, Brittany, and Santana.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? 

Yes. She trusts her best friends.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

She’s sure her family would make a huge deal out of it. She thinks her friends would be the ones to actually miss her.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Frannie because of how hard she tries to be Miss Perfect.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

She’s definitely the type to argue.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

Yes she does.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? 

She does.

Do you care what others think of you?

She used to, but not as much anymore.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Playing video games, reading, dancing, cheerleading.

What is your most treasured possession?

The bracelet her grandmother gave her.

What is your favorite color?

Blue

What is your favorite food?

Macarons

What, if anything, do you like to read?

She likes older novels compared to newer ones like Jane Austen and such.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

Reading, watching movies and TV, going to museums, taking hikes.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? 

She drinks more regularly than not. She does pot from time to time, but that’s rare. She has never smoked cigarettes or done harder drugs.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

Depends. She’s usually out having fun with her friends. Sometimes she has relaxing nights in.

What makes you laugh?

Her friends.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

She would either play a game, watch something, or read.

How do you deal with stress?

Plays video games or works out. Also drinking.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

Both. It depends what it is. She is more for having a plan, but she can be spontaneous.

What are your pet peeves?

Excessive talking or talking loudly, being late, using text language all the time or in real life, being upset for no reason, second hand smoke, being on your phone during conversations.

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

She usually wakes up early, eats while having coffee and checking her social media, works out, then does her classes, practice, and spends times with friends. She sleeps in more on weekends or in the summer. She doesn’t mind if it gets interrupted.

What is your greatest strength as a person?

Her charisma.

What is your greatest weakness?

Being unsure about herself.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Hiding who she is.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted.

Are you generally organized or messy?

Organized.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Good - Organizing, cheerleading, video games.

Bad - Conveying her feelings, drawing, staying calm.

Do you like yourself?

Kind of

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Be the top in what career she goes into.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Graduating from Yale (or what college she attends next), being married, possibly having a kid.

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)

Come out with who you are. It’s no good keeping your secrets.

[wongas--frank]

You saw NICK BRAUN in London recently? It was actually FRANK LONGBOTTOM, the two share a resemblance. Apparently HE is CURIOUS and KIND but can also be NAIVE and AWKWARD. They are TWENTY-THREE and were sorted into HUFFLEPUFF. The PUREBLOOD works as a CHEF-IN-TRAINING FOR THE LEAKY CAULDRON, lives in LONDON and is affiliated with NEITHER SIDE. (pat, 21+, pst, she/her).

rising croissants, flour-covered hands, wide bowls of dough, carefully iced cakes, caramelized sugar on a crème brûlée cracked by a small silver spoon, golden brown perfectly baked pastries

Full Name: Frank Seamus Longbottom – It’s a tradition to carry the name of a beloved who has passed and he was named after his grandfather, the famed Auror. The name Frank has been passed down several generations, and Frank Seamus is actually Frank Longbottom VI, but the regnal number isn’t that important… unless you’re Augusta. But Augusta didn’t have to do much to sell Neville on the name. As for his middle name, Seamus and Dean played a clean game of rock, paper, scissors; Neville can be seen teasing Harry and Ginny for taking the idea and naming Lily Luna after a family friend.

FC: Nick Braun

Age: 23

School: Hogwarts

House: Hufflepuff – Frank wasn’t disappointed; his mother Hannah Abbott was a proud Hufflepuff and he knew how to get into the kitchens before he was even on the train to Hogwarts. Of course, Cedric Diggory was one of the most famed Hufflepuffs in recent history, so his legacy left an imprint on Frank.  

Country of Origin: United Kingdom

Current Place of Residence: Leaky Cauldron, London. Because the Leaky Cauldron is the gate between magical and muggle worlds, Frank has been exposed to all sorts of new and interesting ideas growing up. He’s living (rent free) in the Leaky Cauldron since having to move back in with his mother. It’s not quite like living with them, but he does act a little ungrateful about it.

Please list any canon relatives: 

Father: Neville Longbottom

Mother: Hannah Abbott

Grandparents: Frank and Alice Longbottom, both at St. Mungo’s

Great-grandmother: Augusta Longbottom – because someone has to keep up Longbottom Estate, and that hat collection has to live somewhere

Career: 

Current: Frank’s definitely figured out what he wants to do already, he knows what he’s good at and what he’s passionate about. His potions marks are much better than his father’s and he’s built an arsenal of knowledge regarding the food industry and Herbology because of how he grew up. But Frank has wandered for a few years trying to live on his own and seeing how successful he could be without anyone’s help. Originally, Frank had lived in Hogsmeade and worked for Madame Puddifoot’s Tea Shop—so having to go back to living with his mother kind of feels like giving up.

Next steps: He doesn’t think of himself as a chef, but he would love to be one someday. He learned to make much more highbrow meals since his time out of school and he’ll do his own twists on them upon request. Call it the Leaky Cauldron’s  secret menu; just ask for Frankie’s special that day.

Eventual: Frank thinks Hannah wants him to take over the Leaky Cauldron someday, so he’s certainly got mixed feelings about being in that sort of leadership position. What his mom does sounds so boring; it’s all numbers and paperwork and having to deal with the customer whose chicken was too dry. Let’s be real, Frank doesn’t want to manage—he wants to invent! Of course, it’s his dream to be in charge of his own restaurant someday; I can see him stepping up to be more responsible in the future (or finally getting the guts to really move on), but for now he’s young and he’s happy—let him play around before he has to properly grow up!

Affiliation: (subject to change after discussion with relevant players) Frank is neutral. However…

Dumbledore’s what now? He may have been close with the Potter-Weasleys growing up (which will need to be discussed, especially with Alice and James), but having been sorted in Hufflepuff and off doing his own thing for a while in Hogsmeade, I can see him being generally out of the loop as far as Dumbledore’s Army. Maybe his sister will get him to join or one of the members makes a recommendation to James!

A possible target? As someone who’s purposely trying to mingle anything muggle to the magical community—even something out of a cookbook—definitely puts him in danger he’s probably not even aware of. And Neville has worked hard to make sure that his kids live in a world where they don’t have to worry about this. However, Frank can be rather lackadaisical as far as his own safety, not because he’s a risk-taker so much as he’s thoughtless with his actions.

Significant Other: Frank wishes he had a significant other; it does get lonely sometimes since it feels like everyone his age is either hooking up or getting married—hell, his sister even has kids! Frank’s not desperate or anything and he’s not the one to say that no one gets him, but it would be nice to make a connection that isn’t just a customer over the counter.

Sexuality: Frank thinks he’s a little of everything—he’s definitely pansexual, but he doesn’t like labels. He’s not a hopeless romantic, but he’s crushed a little on everyone at some point. He’s got a relatively steady history of dating and he takes breakups real hard. But he definitely knows how to take care of his partners in ways that aren’t just baking them morning croissants.

Any HC’s: l mean… here’s what I got… idk if these count and these will have to be updated as the game progresses!

Grind – to process solids by hand or mechanically to reduce them to tiny particles. Frank wasn’t sure when he started working at the Leaky Cauldron. Sure, Hannah and Neville had a small house elsewhere—but taking over ownership of the Leaky Cauldron meant that every day was ‘take your kid’ to work day. And it wasn’t like the wizarding world knew what child labor laws were.

Steep – to extract color, flavor, or other qualities from a substance by leaving it in water just below the boiling point. Frank was lucky that Neville had his own greenhouse; he had an early exposure to Herbology and received top marks in school. This slight advantage helped him in Potions, though Neville calls his son fortunate to not have learned potions under Severus Snape. And Frank learned all of the Leaky Cauldron’s classic recipes the longer he worked there; some of them were from Hannah but many were from previous chefs who didn’t mind that Frank was there—he was much less of a bother than his sister.

Lukewarm – neither cool nor warm; approximately body temperature. Neville and Hannah taught Frank to be nice to his sister, but sometimes he had better things to do, like exploring every nook and cranny of Diagon Alley. But it had become a bit of an issue when his sister could get her way with a bat of an eyelash. He’s not resentful of his sister so much as he’s not one of those people she can take advantage of.

Skim – to remove fat or foam from the surface of a liquid. The Leaky Cauldron has a broom closet with an extension charm on it, which functions as a room for Lost and Found. Usually when Frank was forced to clean for closing, he had to turn in whatever was left behind by the patrons; he wasn’t ever allowed to keep any of it and he was always required to handle everything with dragon hide gloves—who knows what kind of cursed objects people drop! But mostly what he found were muggle items—odds and ends that he asked patrons about when it wasn’t busy, especially those were much more attuned to the muggle world.

Flambe – to flame foods by dousing in some form of potable alcohol and setting alight. One object left behind that Frank never forgot about was a muggle cookbook. He had learned from watching and listening, but not out of a book. There wasn’t any wand waving involved, no incantations that Frank had to try to remember—rather, just instructions and words that no one was familiar with. Sure, it made it into the Lost and Found, but that didn’t mean Frank couldn’t borrow it like a library book to try to decipher it.

Mince – to cut or chop food into extremely small pieces. There was a significant unlearning of gender inequity involved coming to Hogwarts—the attitude that his parents never meant to teach him, but he learned anyway from how his sister was treated. Frank didn’t distrust women nor did he think of them as inherently lesser—but he was quick to box people into gender stereotypes until someone finally called him out on it. And continued to call him out on it. Understanding why certain jokes were sexist and why that was wrong was a difficult path, but Frank was willing to listen. He didn’t want to make someone feel bad and it wasn’t their fault for being offended. Even now he feels like he’s being hyperaware of what he’s saying, but he tries his best.

Grill – to cook on a grill over intense heat. With his high marks in Herbology and Potions, Frank could have been a healer. Instead those skills were used to bounce from café to café along Hogsmeade, never quite deciding where to work until Madam Puddifoot wanted to expand her menu. He had some creativity there, but the reality was that Frank couldn’t afford to live on his own with what the tea shop was willing to pay him; he had a hard decision to make between his dream job or his financial security, which was eventually made for him once the eviction notice was posted at his door.

Blend – to incorporate two or more ingredients thoroughly. Even if he is a little bitter about moving back with his Frank takes advantage of being part of the family business: he’s able to experiment with new menu items and recipes he tries from muggle cookbooks, with a full kitchen at his disposal—even if it’s during afterhours. Of course, there’s a bit of a learning curve going from muggle processes to magical means (what the hell does preheat to 200° mean?) but Frank knows what’s good and what isn’t. He’s not afraid to give a muggle twist on magical favorites (or vice versa).  He doesn’t announce his creations or anything (after all, he’s just an amateur!) but it does give him pride when someone pays attention to him talking about it and actually asks to try something he’s created.

Glaze – to cover with a thin, glossy icing. A part of him wants to give the Leaky Cauldron a bit of a culinary makeover; most of the classics, in his opinion, are old and tired. But he’s stuck—perhaps Frankie’s special is the best way to do that, especially since Hannah doesn’t know about this secret menu. Not that she wouldn’t be supportive, but she’s the type to stick with something tried, true, and traditional that Frank just wouldn’t want to go through the trouble of convincing her that the restaurant has needed an update since the 1800s. Besides, he dreams of owning his own restaurant, but he can’t quite imagine himself running the Leaky Cauldron—proposing a change like this would really nail the coffin closed.

[thefinalcinderella]

DIVE!! Book 2 Chapter 7-ONLY TWO

Full list of translations here

Previously on DIVE!!: Shibuki gets booty-called back to Tsugaru.

Tsugaru’s night was quiet, and he could hear the roar of the sea all the way from Kyouko’s house on a hilltop away from the sea. On this windy day, the sound of the waves overlapped the noisy rustling of the Japanese beeches, playing a duet with something wriggling in the abyss of night. The boundaries between night and day, light and shadow, were dazzling like the horizon on a sunny day. In that vivid contrast, he knew that Tokyo wasn’t a place for people to live in, but the difficulties of living in the countryside were soaked into Shibuki’s bones.

Since returning to Tsugaru, Shibuki spent the majority of his days viewing the ocean on the rocks. He didn’t think he’d wanted to meet anyone besides Kyouko, and he knew that even if he did he would just get tired of being met with sympathetic eyes, and being asked this-and-that.

In this village where there were fewer and fewer children year after year, the reason why only Shibuki’s classmates had a large number, and why most of them were born in August was because of the fall of 18 years ago, where there was a power outage that hit the village for twenty days. When he learned that, he had the feeling like resignation that “this village really is small,” but still, there was already displeasure in the eyes of the distrustful people with way too much free time about his homecoming.

In that respect, the sea was good. It didn’t try to interrogate him or read too much into him, and left Shibuki alone as much as he liked.

“Today I now understand why you don’t get tired of watching the ocean. Even though waves approach the shore regularly, at a certain point they suddenly make irregular movements. They slip away from the fixed movements, twist themselves up high, and scatter. That moment is captivating.”

At night, he listened to Kyouko, who rambled on and on about those kinds of things.

“But, aren’t those irregular moments actually happening regularly? Waves are formed and scattered after many rounds of swells. And waves that were formed too faraway would disappear before even hitting the shore.”

“If that’s the case, then the sea’s like a graveyard for those waves who never reached the shore.”

When he talked with Kyouko like this, Shibuki’s mind felt peaceful, and quietly satisfied. That feeling stayed as they proceeded onto the futon, and when their bodies heaved against each other beneath the dim light of the miniature light bulb, and Shibuki’s body felt satisfied as well. He didn’t believe that devoting himself to having sex day after day was healthy, but only devoting himself to diving day after day wasn’t necessarily healthy either. The important thing was balance, Shibuki thought. It was what I lacked the most.

In Tokyo, if he thought about the fact that he hardly called her, he’d fall down just like a seesaw with a bang, and suddenly sink into himself. Kyouko, who was two years older than him, received him generously. She seemed to be just simply happy that she was able to see him again so soon, three months after he had made up his mind to go to Tokyo.

Kyouko, who graduated from high school this year, was working at a supermarket on the coast while living with her grandmother, Aya-san. It had always just been the two of them ever since she could remember, and although the villagers swapped various rumors about her parents, whose whereabouts were unknown, she herself didn’t seem to have much interest in it. Because she behaved like that at least, Shibuki didn’t dare try to touch on it. In terms of amount of rumors, the Okitsu family was by no means inferior to Kyouko’s.

If someone saw Shibuki’s and Kyouko’s relationship, would they see it as something like “Minor’s disturbed nature! Half-cohabitation for three years?” Of course, that was just an exaggeration, and everything came about somehow, but since he started going out with Kyouko three years ago, it was true that Shibuki almost never returned home. It was because he didn’t want to see his mother fussing over his uncle, who had taken over the position of head fisherman.

After the deaths of his father and grandfather, his mother stopped Shibuki, who was willing to work instead of going to high school, and persuaded him that they would be able to make do with the insurance money and their savings. But in truth, it was obvious that their lives consisted of the assistance from his uncle, who lived in the same village. Shibuki could not make himself like that uncle no matter what, as he had declared Shiraha an embarrassment for the family for ending without returning to his hometown in glory.

“I took a little summer break.”

Even when Shibuki said that the other day as he suddenly came home, his mother welcomed him with an “Okay” without asking anything, but when he thought about the sarcastic things that his uncle would be saying behind his back (“See, I told you so”, “It’s the old man all over again”, etc.) he couldn’t settle into his family home, and ran away after only one day.

Aya-san cursed at that uncle, saying “He calls me by my name or ‘old woman’. Just a vulgar man (1).” Shibuki was very fortunate that she was his friend. Although she wasn’t such a radical thinker as to approve the free love between young people, but because she had painted an era where women married young, she didn’t say that Shibuki’s and Kyouko’s relationship was too early. Kyouko, who since middle school had brought many boys to her house, and repeatedly took up love affairs like throwing away fish she just caught without even tasting them, stopped doing all of that immediately once she met Shibuki, and treated him like she acknowledged that he got the better of her.

He woke up at the house on the hill, ate the toast and eggs that Aya-san made, and while Kyouko was standing at the register at the supermarket, he breathed in the scent of the seashore on the nearby rocks until he felt like he had to burp. As Shibuki did so, he felt like he was increasing the “fueru wakame (2)” as he went back to the person he was before going to Tokyo. Oh, I’m living here like this, and I believe I’ll continue to live like this in the future, he thought, as though it was someone else’s business.

Kayoko’s appearance was, so to speak, an unexpected incident. Just as his father and grandfather were swallowed by the stormy sea, Shibuki was also swallowed up by the waves of fate.

Will he dive into those waves again?

Even though he knew that the answer to that must be given by the new semester, Shibuki continued to put it off.

“Have sex with Kyouko every night, do fishing after graduating from high school, get married and officially live here, make babies, buy my own ship one day, make the tastiest fish I caught that day a souvenir for my family, everyone noisily eats it…I guess that kind of life is the best kind that I’ll never get tired of.”

When Shibuki sometimes spoke about his dream, Kyouko interrupted him with a question while smiling. “What about diving? Is it not going to appear in your future?”

“If I want to dive, the sea’s right there. I don’t want to spend all my life diving like Gramps.”

“If diving was your Gramps’ everything, then what are you here for? He went to Tokyo, devoted himself to diving, and after that fell in love and got married, had kids, and raised his grandson. But I think that he had the full course of life.”

“But he lost at the most critical moment. Even if it was because of the war, if he failed at that moment then he’d be the loser for all his life forever. At least, that’s what the people here think.”

Kyouko’s toes, which had been quickly progressing through the breakwater (3), stopped beneath a thunderhead (3) that resembled a splash blown up by a giant. It wasn’t a new thing that this kind of complaint came out of Shibuki’s mouth now. However, it was especially frequent during his recent homecoming, and Kyouko, who had ignored him placidly at first, couldn’t stand it any longer after two weeks.

“Hey, Shibuki.” Kyouko beat him to it before he could start on the story of the Ninomiya Kinjirou statue. “You always talk like Gramps is the victim. He left the village, because he was tempted by the scout from Tokyo. He ended without any awards to show for it, because of the war. But is that actually true? Are you seriously thinking like that? Aren’t you just putting some kind of blame on everything else by doing that?”

The salty sea breeze blew gently against the sea’s surface, causing Kyouko’s light purple camisole to flap. When Shibuki had first met Kyouko, who was the most sophisticated person in the village, on this beach, he had wondered if she was an actress on location for a shoot. However, if one saw the city which overflowed with well-dressed women, she and others looked simple in comparison, and he fell in love all over again with that inartificial beauty.

Even now when she revealed her anger, her face was truly lovely.

Shibuki spoke while being charmed by her. “Well then, whose fault was it? To this day people are still making noise about whether Gramps is a genius or something, and he finished his athletic career without leaving anything behind. What on earth is there to blame?”

“Yes, about that. I’ve been thinking about that a lot…” Kyouko said, like she’d been waiting for this moment. “It’s his back.”

“Back?”

“Gramps dived into this sea just like you when he was a child. You hurt your back, and maybe it’s not just you who had hurt their back.”

The waves that had been repeating regular undulations turned irregular suddenly beneath the eyes of the two.

Shibuki wanted to get swept away by those waves.

“That’s…impossible.”

“If so, then that means that Gramps isn’t a victim of the war like you said. He did only what he could do, until he couldn’t do it anymore, and stopped on his own. That’s why he trained you so carefully so that you wouldn’t make the same mistake. Don’t you think that’s possible?”

“Wait.”

Hey, wait a minute. Shibuki desperately tried to calm his confused head.

Okitsu Shiraha was not a victim of the war, and stopped himself because of his injured back. If what Kyouko said was true, then the foundation of what he had believed until now had been overturned.

“Hey, let’s find out.”

Kyouko had already turned on her heel.

“We can find out about Gramps’ athlete career.”

Kyouko didn’t have to tell him, since Shibuki had also tried to investigate Shiraha’s past once. What kind of athlete was Okitsu Shiraha? How did he dive, how did he live, and what did he think in faraway Tokyo? He badly wanted to know, and searched all over his house for clues. A picture was fine. A letter was fine. A diary was even better. But his grandfather had buried his glorious past. He completely erased all traces of himself as a competitive diver and died.

That’s why it’s useless to go search, but no matter how many times he told her that, she didn’t listen, and forcibly put Shibuki on the back of her motorcycle. They rushed along the bumpy hill road, heading for Shibuki’s house.

It was only the house of former head fisherman, and although it was old, Shibuki’s house was spacious. Immediately after he returned home for the first time in more than a week, without caring about the suspicious eyes of his mother at seeing her son suddenly vandalizing the house, Kyouko desperately hunted for Shiraha’s traces. Under the eaves. In the attic. Behind the butsudan (4). The cellar that had now been turned into a storage room. They were especially thorough with the room that Shiraha used, carefully searching from the bottom of the chest of drawers to the inside of the container that held his certificate of merit.

However, nothing turned up from the house that Shibuki had once spent many hours searching through.

“That’s why I told you. I’ve searched in all the likely places a long time ago.”

“But it never occurred to you to strip off the tatami mats afterwards, and to tear up the floorboards…”

“If we go that far and nothing’s there, even Mom would go berserk. And it will also develop problems between you as a daughter-in-law and her in the future.”

Kyouko, hit in a painful place, despondently turned back from the road that she came down reluctantly, although it looked like she still hadn’t given up on the inside yet.

The next morning Shibuki was forcibly put onto the back of her motorcycle again.

“What are we doing today?”

“We’re continuing from yesterday.”

“So, nothing?”

“Today we’re going to Urai-san’s place.”

“Urai-san?”

“He’s that old man who always picks up trash on the beach. When he was young, he was a good friend of Gramps. Aya-san said that he seemed to have watched Gramps’ competition in Tokyo. So, if that’s the case, Gramps might have left something with him, don’t you think?”

However, that hope was in vain. When the two of the visited the Urai house, although the old man admitted that he had went to see Shiraha’s competition, his memory was too unreliable. He clearly got it confused with a swimming race when he recounted excitedly how Shiraha was so wonderful, moving up steadily from the third course and reached the finish line faster than anyone else in the second half. Shibuki and Kyouko went along with the long story for a while, and then left the house in low spirits.

Even so, Kyouko still didn’t give up.

She, who did not speak a word after leaving Urai’s house, said “Hey” as she pulled on Shibuki’s arm after she parked her motorcycle in the garden of the hilltop home.

“Isn’t there an association that keeps all kinds of material about swimming and diving?”

“The JASF?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t they keep documents about Gramps there? Hey, let’s call and find out.”

“There’s no point.”

“Why?”

“I already called a long time ago.”

“…”

As expected, Kyouko’s eyes lost their strength as she was exhausted.

“It was around 1936 that Gramps went Tokyo and entered the diving world. The Japanese diving world seemed to have been at its peak at that time, but the records of that time were stored in Hachiouji and were burned up by US military air raids. Even though the JASF’s headquarters were located in the Marunouchi Building, the office workers back then were afraid of wartime damages and locked them up in the storehouses of their own homes, which backfired on them instead. It seems that the only thing that was found in the ruins of the fire was a Longines stopwatch.”

“What about the records after that?”

“After the war, Gramps was at the first Nationals in Hyougo in 1946, but he didn’t even leave a picture there. That was probably Gramps’ last official meet.”

Kyouko frustratingly chewed on her lip. When her heightened emotions reached their boiling point, she would always go on a rampage. She put on the helmet that she had just taken off, and while revving up the engine loudly, she started her motorcycle up, and all night long they did not return to where they had travelled for the whole day.

Although he was worrying endlessly about when they were going to go home, Shibuki fell asleep before he knew it. In the morning, when he woke and noticed Kyouko lying next to him as usual, he spontaneously hugged her shoulders with relief and repentance (I didn’t fall asleep. I…).

She wore a tank top and short shorts instead of pajamas when she crawled into the futon. But yesterday, perhaps because she was too tired, she was wearing nothing but her underwear, and the delicate skin of her chest peeked out from the towel blanket. Three years ago, when he had first touched that smooth skin, Shibuki had marvelled that there was such an attractive creature outside of the sea. That impression was still the same now. That’s why he confided everything to Kyouko. He even talked to her about his back problem that he never told anyone else about.

However, he had only hidden one thing from her.

“What is it?” She whispered to him with half-closed eyes, as he stroked her red hair.

“I was thinking.”

“About what?”

“About why you’re going so far to find out about Gramps.”

Kyouko pulled the milk-colored towel-blanket over her nose. Not to hide her skin, but to hide her inflamed eyes.

“I want to free you from your weird curse.”

“Curse?”

“You treat Gramps like a victim, and so you’re always tied to that pent-up grudge…I don’t want to see you like that. If you stay like this, I feel like you seem to be blaming your own issues, your back problems, and not going to Beijing, all on that one thing. Gramps’ life was no one’s fault, and he was the one who chose to live like that. I want to let you to admit that. That way…”

“That way?”

“You will be more invigorated, and would want to go back to Tokyo.”

The towel-blanket covered up to Kyouko’s forehead. It was to hide her tears.

When Shibuki decided to go to Tokyo to join the MDC, Kyouko had only cried a little bit once. This was the first time he saw her crying like this since then.

He got up, gently pushed away the towel-blanket, and kissed away her tears.

They were saltier than seawater.

“They said that all of the past records were burned up in the air raids, but…” Shibuki said, making up his mind. “Actually, it wasn’t all of them. Even the JASF doesn’t know this, but there’s a man who privately saved a 16mm footage of Gramps in his athlete years.”

Kyouko stopped crying.

“Who?”

“Mizuki Shinnosuke. The former president of Mizuki who established the MDC. He was also one of the divers that represented the Japanese diving world in the 1930s.”

“…”

“The day that his granddaughter, Asaki Kayoko, came to see me, she told me she found the 16mm film among the things Mizuki Shinnosuke left behind after his death. If…”

If you win the right to represent at next year’s Olympics, I will also show you what your grandfather left behind.

It was the 16mm film that projected his grandfather in his younger days. For anyone else it would be nothing, but for Shibuki it was the keepsake of a miracle. His grandfather was made much of in Tokyo as a child prodigy, and talked about behind his back in the village, so the truth with just his grandfather was there in that film. Shibuki wanted to know. What his grandfather thought when he went to Tokyo, what he thought when he went back home, and what he thought when he taught him, his grandson, to dive. He believed that something that was not told from the mouths of others dwelled in that film.

Okay, I’ll go to the Olympics. And in exchange, you will give me the 16mm when that time comes.

That was the contract between Shibuki and Kayoko—

“But, now that I think about it, me going to Tokyo like that was probably the fastest way to know about Gramps’ feelings. It was only for four months, but when I actually tried diving in a competition, I felt like I understood a little about Gramps. At least he wasn’t doing something boring. It’s annoying for those village bastards who don’t know anything to say all sorts of things, but maybe it’s good if I’m the only one who knows the truth.”

“Shibuki…”

“Because I understood that, I don’t need the 16mm anymore. My contract with Asaki Kayoko has expired anyways. It’s impossible for me to go to next year’s Olympics as I am now. I’m confident about that much.”

Shibuki’s confidence made Kyouko’s chest ache. The stubborn, competitive, unstoppable-once-he-gets-started Shibuki said it was impossible. It probably was impossible. Even before Kyouko came up with the idea to search, the thing that Shibuki had been pursuing for was indeed there since a long time ago.

“But, I really do want to see that 16mm film. Isn’t there any other way that it can be shown to us?”

“By lowering my head to Asaki Kayoko? I have my pride.”

“Is your pride really okay right now?”

“If it’s going to done well, then it won’t be me.”

“Well then, would you like me to do it? I don’t have pride.”

“This is between me and Asaki Kayoko.”

“So stubborn.”

Despite saying so, Kyouko hugged Shibuki’s hair in order to show her affection for that stubbornness, slowly lowering her hand to his nape to stroke it. Sex seemed to be quickest way to manage these feelings of mutual downheartedness, but when she thought about it, she felt bad for his back, and did not know what to do about her hand that had now descended to Shibuki’s stomach.

If they thought about it, ever since Shibuki came home, it felt like the two of them always didn’t know what to do with the time while embracing each other.

In this long summer, it was just the two of them.

From this night on, Kyouko stopped mentioning Shiraha’s name. The 16mm never came up, the two of them slept in each other’s embrace as before, ate the breakfast Aya-san made when morning came, Kyouko went out to the supermarket, and Shibuki inhaled the fragrance of the seashore until he choked on it as he wandered around the rocks until the sun went down. In the meantime, time passed, and people started to greet each other with statements like “the sun is setting earlier” and “it’s gotten a lot more comfortable,” but Shibuki didn’t feel any change in the seasons, and he felt like just Kyouko and him were still left in the humid shadow of summer.

This cocoon was pure white. He recalled those strange bugs that they were forced to raise in elementary school. They wrapped up their bodies in white silk and slept, and that moment, when they woke up and were rewarded with wings on their backs. However, there were also some who never woke up, and dried up completely inside of their cocoons.

He felt like he and Kyouko were quietly dying inside of the silk that they wrapped around themselves.

While he was aware that that cocoon was his own problem, and that Kyouko was only someone along with him for the ride, he needed her, and could not let her go.

At the end of summer, when rare, unexpected visitors suddenly arrived at the Okitsu house where Shibuki was absent, the two were already completely motionless.

Translation Notes

1. Kanji translates to “vulgar man” but furigana reads “udade” which means “unpleasant, disgusting” in Tsugaru dialect.

2. A type of edible dried brown seaweed. You can buy it online

3. A breakwater are structures that protect coasts. A thunderhead is a type of cloud seen during a thunderstorm.

Next time on DIVE!!: Gee I wonder who those visitors are

[vieuxnoyesrp]

  ⚜  One year since the inception of Vieux Noyés RP!  ⚜

In honor of a year of creativity, inspiration, and much, much love, we’d like to share with you a glimpse at how much VN has meant to us in the past year. Where we were then, and how far we’ve come, all thanks to you. ♥

- Rose -

To me, VN is the definition of a labour of love. First, it was a love of these characters and a desire to see them explored in a more intimate and, in my opinion, authentic way. To see them develop to their full potential without the hindrance of time, commercial appeal or tv budgets. At the same time it was a love of collaboration with the two beautiful and incredibly talented women I have at my side; Kailey and Rimsha. They were the ones who inspired me to pursue this idea, who told me that I could, even when I doubted it. Without them; without Kailey’s enthusiastic push and overconfidence in me, without Rimsha’s affectionate cheerleading, VN may very well not have happened. 

It wasn’t always smooth sailing though; VN came with a lot of hard work (both collaborative and independent), endless brainstorming sessions, and the occasional heated passionate debate - just to keep things interesting. Throughout easy days and not-so-easy days, we’ve stuck it out as a team. I have so much trust and respect for these ladies that I could go on for pages. But suffice it to say, given the chance to do it all again, I couldn’t and wouldn’t have chosen a more trusted team by my side.

Last but not least, VN to me, became a deep fondness and love for the roleplayers we’ve been fortunate enough to attract. Every day I read the dash and am awed to have such extraordinary talent in our group. I check into the OOC after a long day at work - and it feels like coming home. You support one another, laugh together, and pick each other up on the rough days. This, to me, is undoubtedly the best thing about VN. And I am so humbled and so grateful to each and every one of you for joining and bolstering this dream.

A year ago, I was coming out of a difficult period in my life. I had recently lost my grandmother, I was struggling with a job I disliked, and I was studying for take-two of the MCAT/medical school entry exam (0/10 would not recommend, would not do again). I was down on my self-esteem, uncertain of my future, and kept joking about how I’d hit a ’Quarter Life Crisis’. A year since, and I’m in a much happier place; accepted into medical school, content with the present and yet looking forward to the future. So many of you have helped support me through this process and encouraged me through the crappy days. Thank you. Thanks so much to each and every one of you for making the dream a reality and joining us on this wild ride! Here’s to many more anniversaries to come! Laissez les bons temps rouler! ♥ ⚜

Also if you read all this you’re a champ. You go, Glen Coco

- Rimsha -

It’s hard to believe that we’ve come full circle. I remember well how and when the idea of VN was conceived. A brilliant idea that bloomed in Rose’s mind and one for which she had a lot of devotion and determination to see it realized. Like Rose, I too was going through a bit of a rough patch in life at the time -- turmoil on the career and Academic front, even within my family unit. Once VN had taken flight, it had fueled me to spend time plotting, planning, tinkering and helping bring it to life. A place that would house our muses for the supernatural, TO, and TVD character portrayals. But boy has it turned out to be so much more than that. I think it's safe to say that it's has exceeded our expectations, and then some.

It has been an honour being on the admin team of this roleplay, an honour to meet and interact with such a talented roster of writers who’ve brought so much enthusiasm. The part that particularly makes me proud is that we've been able to build a community, nay, a family. It's an environment where everyone truly shares ideas, moments, and most importantly supports one another. I cannot count the amount of times we’ve practically gushed on our admin chat about how it makes our hearts swell to see all of your reaching out to one another. I love how literally everyone has taken to the "no one gets left behind " mentality that we advocated from the very beginning. Thank you so much guys for all that you do, and please keep up that stellar streak. You’ve played an immense role in helping VN come this far. 

Unlike my two kick-ass admins, this was my first shot at admining. But I can definitely say that I’ve learned a whole lot from them over the course of this year. I think both Kailey and Rose deserve a hell of a lot of credit for all the time and effort they’ve put into this roleplay, for remaining so determined, for being there to restore my own drive, and also for being a bottomless pool of inspiration. To you both, I just wanna say, thank you for including me in your vision, for guiding me, and showing me the ropes. I’m honoured to work along side the two of you. And cannot wait to hatch more great plans with you. 

But while we’ve come this far, this is still only the beginning. So here’s to making many more memories. Stay awesome VN Fam! <3

- Kailey - 

It’s hard for me to think back to this time last year, to remember what a different person I was, how different my life was from where I am now. A year ago, I was finishing off my first year of grad school, the year I thought would for sure be the hardest year of my life wrong. My baby, my dream, Lifelines RP, had died, and with it, it had felt like I had lost all of my creative movement. Any desire to write had been drained from me in a lethal combination of literary grief and end-of-term papers. And then came VN. 

I’ve been known for being a bit overenthusiastic when I’ve got a plot rolling through my mind, and the minute the idea of VN was put before me, well I have to admit I was relentless, obsessed, inspired. I maybe bullied Rose into believing she could do this, and I don’t regret it for a single moment. Between the three of us, with Rose’s unending patience and passion, Rimsha’s incredible talent for world-building, and my dogged bites at their heels, VN was born. VN became beautiful, right in front of our eyes. We were so nervous, to tell you guys the truth. There was so much we could, and did, get wrong on the way here. But we stuck it out, and then, came you. 

We had hoped that our OOC would be a comfortable place, where people felt free to chat and share about themselves, where they felt like they had friends to talk to. But this? You guys have blown us away. You’ve opened your hearts to us, and you’ve jumped full-throttle onto our crazy train, and taken us places we had never even hoped we could go. VN’s become my life, my hobby, my work, my pride. My supervisor wants to join, guys. I kid you not. VN’s become my second family, something I had no idea how much I would need this year. 

I haven’t been around as often as I’d like to be, but I’m with you all every day, marveling in the beauty of the space and the stories we share. A year ago, Rose lost her grandmother, and we didn’t have VN yet. With how devastated she was, I wasn’t sure we’d ever write together again. In its infinite cruelty, I’m on my way home tomorrow, to (hopefully) see my grandpa one more time before he passes. I’m not okay, to be honest, but I know I’ll have my family, both of them, with me the whole time. I can’t tell you how much you all mean to me, and how closely I carry you to my heart each and every single day. 

                With love from our hearts to yours, may we write many more stories together,                                                     your admins ♥ 

                       ⚜  Laissez les bons temps rouler! ⚜