#infant loss

[beausmom1214]

Today (December 14th, 2024) was your birthday, you would have been 5 yrs old today. It has been half a decade since God welcomed you into Heaven and made a special place there just for YOU, my sweet baby boy….and someday I hope you will be showing it all to me with nothing but excitement and joy, as I join you and all our loved ones in that special place. When the time is right I can’t wait to get there, wherever it is, simply bc it means I will finally get to meet you, little one. You are my first born son, the only child of mine that I’ve ever held in my arms and the only soul I’ve ever met that I’ve ever loved so much, even before I got to hold you. And saying goodbye (for now) was the single most difficult life experience I’ve ever, ever had. It was so devastating to lose you, to finally get to see you but knowing your gorgeous little eyes would never get to open and see me. It’s been 5 yrs and I still think about you every single day, son….i wonder about the little man you would be growing up to be, & dream of what your future on earth could have held in store for you. I know in my heart you would be making me so very proud, and would have lived your life to the fullest, & loved with all you had in your great big heart…and the world would have loved you so much. I know because I love you so much, more love than I’ve ever felt for anyone before, and my love for you is so strong and runs so deeply through me that I know I will love you with my whole heart for the rest of my entire life (and even after that, always and forever). I know that God made a special spot for you, and I am so proud to know without a doubt that my son is sitting right there beside Him and helping Him in any way he can. I know your heart, because I made it, & helped it grow, beat by beat, right here next to mine. I know how much love you have to offer the world, and I know you are using that love and intense passion to help others, even from the other side. I know you are making me so proud and helping others find happiness as much as you can bc it is what you would have loved to do. You have a heart of gold and are so blessed to be in the presence of God and all of his Grace, fulfilling your noble purpose right there amongst all of the angels. I miss you so much, every single day. Losing you left such a huge wake of emptiness and sorrow in my life. Everything would be so different if you were still here, my sweet boy. I hope you had the best 5th birthday today in Heaven that any little boy has ever known. I hope you are happy, and I hope you are looking forward to the day when we will finally be reunited as much as I am looking forward to it. I am so proud to be your Mom, and I love you with all my heart. Happy Birthday, Beau Maverick, my sweet little angel in Heaven. Take good care of Brown Doggie and Miss Gaia, and Rosie the snake. Love them with all your heart, and care for them as best you would care for any of God’s creatures, and they will love you immensely right back, and someday we can all be together again. I’ll be here waiting for that day.

[untouchablestarling]

I just want to scream to the world that you were here.

That you existed too.

That you were ours, and ours alone.

And that we loved you.

[realthoughtss]

after losing a baby, nothing will ever hurt you more than that.

[vyorei]

The agony these people are going through is beyond compare, the amount of people giving birth every day and the amount of children lost is heart-shattering, but the powers still refuse to call this a genocide.

[personifizierterelevanzz]

[fienin]

[justjudethoughts]

"When you're swept up in/ The ceaseless song of the seraphim/ Please remember me/ That my soul may touch/ The fire of love you dwell within." -Discovering Paradise, Danielle Rose

I grew up knowing that I have an older brother in heaven, but it wasn't until recent years that I began to realize how profondly he has shaped me. Looking back, it's a wonder I ever missed it — I certainly thought about him a lot. I remember being little and thinking about him during the Eucharistic prayer, when the priest said "our brothers and sisters who have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection." I took the word "brother" very literally.

The older I have gotten, the more profoundly I have seen his intercession in my life. He has set me longing for heaven in a way I never have before. He has changed the way I view the beauty of the natural world, a glimpse at what he sees. When Religious OCD scares me away from Mass, I feel a little stronger knowing I'll see my big brother in the Eucharist.

I like to think he had a hand in picking my best friend. She and I have always joked that she's "my big brother" because she plays that very protective role for me. Then we realized her name (Tricia) is the shortened form of the feminine for Patrick. So she shares his name and was born a month after him. I think Jesus meant for that one to happen, because through all of this processing she is the friend who has made me feel most seen. Cliché as it might sound, it really feels like my personal patron saint sent me a human guardian angel.

There are a lot of things I could say about him, but words do tend to fail when one tries to crack open her heart. I really, truly believe that God's abundant mercy and ability to bring good from evil is not cowed by the seemingly senseless loss of unborn infants. I think that maybe the greater good is the power of their intercession, those innocents in heaven who never knew fear, only the comfort of their mother's heartbeat. Perhaps their prayers are purer, their faith more childlike. I guess I won't know until I get there, but I believe this tale of sorrow ends in profound joy. And while I miss him down here, I know he's watching over me like older brothers do.

Happy 26 years in Heaven, Patrick. Save a place for me, bruv ♡

[talesfrommedinastation]

The next few chapters are going to be ROUGH.

(massive trigger warnings regarding pregnancy and loss)

The Belt was a dangerous place for the living, to say nothing for the unborn. Changes in gravitation, heightened cortisol, volatile organic compounds, cosmic radiation–all of them caused miscarriages and stillbirths, and that was just in the environment. That did not include the bodies that grew them.....

.....Only the dead can truly find peace in the Belt , Lyse often said to her daughters, her Ceres accent harsh compared to the soft Ganymede tone of their father, so many choose to be born that way. To be born dead is a blessing, for it is to be born without knowing suffering. 

'The Missing and the Murdered, Part 2' , To Guard Against Titans

-------------------------------------------------

It's National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day in my country.

So I figured if the elephant in the room was going to be addressed, it should be on this date.

Now, I love The Expanse. But the challenges with reproduction were not especially covered, which I have mentioned before.

As someone who has experienced pregnancy loss herself, this is a heavy topic for me to research, but one that I wanted, if not needed, to explore.

I view it not only as a personal journey, but as an epistemological one as well. I want to think about it, because thinking and researching is soothing to me. I hope it is for the reader as well.

I have no doubt in my mind that not only a lack of gravity, but especially radiation, would play a horrific role in reproduction.

Pregnant individuals are not allowed on rollercoasters - now think about gravity fluctuations on a space shuttle.

They are not allowed to have x-rays - now think about the radiation you might experience on a moon walk.

We worry about diet for expecting parents - how can you get enough folate and iron when you are stranded thousands of miles away from the nearest human settlement?

And this is even before a lack of medical access is discussed. Not just from a scientific standpoint, but a cultural one, too.

If you're seen as sub-human, why should the medical field care about you and your unborn child? Or when your child is born?

These are heavy and tragic questions I found myself asking as I envision life for a pregnant Belter and her unborn child (ren). Add a father who has different physiological and cultural backgrounds and yeah. Yeah. Heavy shit.

Some links for the curious:

Can We Even Have Babies in Space? Why We're Not Ready for Life Off-Planet | Scientific American

Making Babies In Space May Be A Terrible Idea (vice.com)

Earth’s first space gynaecologist explains how humans will reproduce in future | BBC Science Focus Magazine

Long-Term Space Nutrition: A Scoping Review - PMC (nih.gov)

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kid: ethical implications of pregnancy on missions to colonize other planets - PMC (nih.gov)

[maleficsin]

Left to wander, left to dissipate

Without you I will never be the same

Left to confide insecurity

When you disappeared you took a part of me

[animeroz]

Living without you is absolute torture and I wake up every day trying to come to terms with the fact that, for my entire life, I’ll never hold you again

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. I fucking loathe it. I can appreciate that awareness is important but it feels very in your face. Whether intentional or not I always feel pressured to share about something that I like to keep close to my chest, yet choosing to stay quiet makes me feel like a bad mom. It's a lose lose.

Today one of my old roommates who lost her daughter this year shared a post from a child loss account for a free giveaway. A fucking gift basket. What exactly are we giving away to parents whose kids died? I get everyone grieves differently and I don't judge but this made my blood boil. It feels like commercializing child loss. Maybe I'm cynical. Maybe I'm just cold and bitter in my grief. This just all feels slimy. My child died so let me enter into a contest to win a prize. Gross.

[untouchablestarling]

I just wish you lived to see today and everyday,

But we have no tomorrows, or sunrise mornings.

[realthoughtss]

when someone asks what i want for christmas but i can't say "i want my daughter back" so i just say "makeup" instead.

[personifizierterelevanzz]

[reasonsforhope]

“Bangladesh has achieved a huge success in reducing infant and maternal mortality rates in the last five decades, securing the top position in South Asia.

According to the World Bank's estimation, the current infant mortality rate for Bangladesh is 21 deaths per 1000 live births making 85% decline from 1971 as the rate was 141 deaths during Bangladesh's independence.

According to health experts, Bangladesh achieved unprecedented success in every health index in the last 50 years since independence...

According to Health and Family Welfare Ministry, Bangladesh maternal mortality rate was 269 per 100,000 live births in 2009. The ratio has reduced to 165 recently.

The government has set a target to reduce maternal mortality to less than 50 per 100,000 live births...

After the independence, the Bangladesh government had put emphasis on maternal health, family planning, child nutrition and so on.

Special importance was also given on different five-year plans, health policy and latest health, population and nutrition programme. Special allocation was also kept at annual development programme (ADP) on those issues.

Annual Global Childhood Report 2019 of the humanitarian organization "Save The Children" says child mortality rate has reduced to a great extent in Bangladesh, Bhutan, India and Nepal in the last two decades.

Among the four countries, Bangladesh has made the highest progress. The child mortality ratio declined 60% in Bhutan, 59% in Nepal, 57% in India, [and] 63% in Bangladesh in the last two decades...

Family Planning Directorate Assistant Director Matiur Rahman said that 3,364 union health and family welfare centres are providing maternal and child health facilities apart from family planning services across the county.

Of them, 2189 union health and family welfare centres are providing 24 hour safe delivery facilities every day.”

-via The Business Standard, 6/14/22