#and it’s been mostly successful 🤷‍♀️

[ifyouhappentoremember]

Are we able to use the audios you have generously gifted out for Trading purposes? If so, What Master name would I have you down as?

I will be honest, I don’t think too far ahead when it comes to gifting audios. Once I posted the link on tumblr I stopped thinking about it because I’m not in the trading world.

I’m not going to impose trading restrictions; if you want to use them to trade for other audios be my guest. That being said, please don’t label the audios as rare, that’s just a dick move.

If you would like to credit me, you can label the master as ifyouhappentoremember’s.

I appreciate you checking in and asking!

[brightlypainted]

I went completely bananas and wrote a full analysis of Joker Out and JO fandom stuff and situation... idk

Hi baby boos!

I’ve seen some confusion regarding JO’s latest announcements and social media activity (or lack thereof) so I've tried to analyze the current situation with a critical eye 🤓

I don't use Tumblr much so you're probably more familiar with my Twitter but I got suggested to post this here for easier reading (and... better audience in general 👀)

Long rant under the cut:

Before I begin I must point out that these are my opinions and theories. I have no idea how JO’s communication and management is being organized right now, I’m just making assumptions based on my perception as a fan 🤷‍♀️

(also I’m a communication graduate but my studies and current job cover this sector only tangentially so I may not know how some/most of this works…)

Let’s start with comparing last year’s situation to the current one: one year ago the boys were riding high on the wave of enthusiasm, having had a successful ESC (despite the ending placement) and having gained a lot of attention as fan favorite competitors ✨

A very high % of the growing fanbase, esp the international one, was coming directly or tangentially through ESC and how do you maintain that attention once the contest is over? you increase your social media presence and you start planning international concerts. which they did!

This constant exposure to content made the fandom flourish: we were all witnessing how easily people from everywhere could join and already feel at the very center of attention, both because JO’s communication was being very active and successful and also thanks to fanmade organizations like JokerOutSubs, group chats, old time Slovenian fans sharing juicy pre-ESC content, etc. I'll be grateful forever

We had a past year that could be divided into 2 halves in terms of communication: it all went extremely well until more or less the end of 2023 (last tour dates in Spain) and then started gradually becoming very odd and chaotic all through 2024 until last month’s complete draught

We know that they mostly tend to manage their online presence on their own, so ofc during breaks and during very busy times is harder for them to find good content to share. They had also been very clear about needing time off their phones all through the London era and the album recording in Hamburg, so that didn’t come as a surprise for fans 🤷‍♀️

But having very sensible, personal reasons to quit/decrease social media presence has unfortunately no meaning in communication, where the laws are very simple: once you stop sharing, you stop existing

I don’t want to criticize their choices, because they are entitled to their privacy and offline time. I’m just pointing out that this very long, hiccup-y period probably could have been avoided with better management and with the presence of a smm/pre-planned sm communication 🙃

It also unfortunately happened concurrently to the new ESC season, which was bound to “organically” erode part of the fandom anyway, and to an EU tour that, although successful, has still highlighted a lazy/bad management and yet again a communication that made little to no sense at times (es. the whole campaign that subtly asked people to go to more than one concert, which clearly made fans with less financial and logistical possibilities feel ‘lacking’ and ‘inferior’) 🙄

In their defense, the tour was to establish a fanbase more than gaining more fans and exposure, so pushing for getting more of a loyal than an occasional fanbase wasn’t completely wrong an idea… it just backfired

And it did because the greatest part of their international fanbase is made of very young people who aren’t financially independent and whose interests are bound to be fleeting and shifting ESPECIALLY when they aren’t constantly met with content production/consumption

Let’s also not forget that having completely shifted their attention to international waters at the expense of the Slovenian/regional fanbase has been very risky. We still can’t tell if the gamble was successful or not

It’s never a good idea to ignore/neglect your hardcore supporters, the very people that helped you raise to your current standards. it’s true they are the most loyal, but they are also very easily the ones that could feel more betrayed

I also think it’s very risky trying to shift the fans’ content consumption out of social media and into a (controlled, easier to manage, ofc) site like Openstage for two main reasons: as said before, complete disappearance from socials means communicational suicide and until now, the “dedicated content” directed toward fans on the site has been… too bland and generic (sorry)(they can learn how to improve that)

Openstage has other very interesting uses tho, firstly the early access to ticket sales and secondly the tracking of international fan presence, which was pretty clearly the main goal and reason why they opened the site in the first place... so it’s not ex ante a bad communication choice, just (until now) one that has yet to show its potential and usefulness

So what now? I think it’s time they make a few considerations and sensible choices to maintain what’s currently the status quo and in order to tackle festival season in the best way

They need to keep their international presence by opening their fanbase to a new kind of fans: festivals bring exposure to bands from a very specific type of fanbase, more interested in music than in contents. If they manage to capture the interest of Sziget people, for example, they could gather a new type of international fanbase less interested in the “social media” content consumption and more in the “I wanna see these guys play again, somewhere else, maybe a show of their own” way

(which, to be completely fair, could be the best choice to cure their current crazy/shifting/confusing fanbase state, giving them more peace of mind, more privacy and a more “normal” rock band experience than the one they had in the past year… that we can all agree has been pretty bad at times)

I personally think this summer season must go in the quantity direction (gaining more new fans) and at the same time in the quality direction (less shows, bigger stages) and this is why some of you are disappointed in seeing so little shows compared to last year or to the SYS tour... I get it

Many of us, me included, won’t be seeing JO live for the whole summer season, and I’m aware that is disappointing, but I hope this analysis has helped you put things into perspective and consider maybe one of the possible reasons why this next phase for Joker Out is being organized this way

I’m still hoping they’ll find a good compromise with their social media communication, because right now I really feel that being the main issue with the gradual but constant drop in traction (please boys hire a smm. i adore jan’s sad edits and the unhinged video and stories like the next person but serious work has to be done too)

Ending the rant on a note of hope: I wish to see you all enjoy the summer and the content to come and I hope for the boys to have a successful, fun season full of new experiences, new music, new people, fresh ideas for the future. I’m honestly very excited for what’s to come! 🌻

[sashi-ya]

Not again... not another ichiruki vs ichihime situation in Kaiju no. 8... 🫠 it's ok if you wanna ship Kikoru with Kafka, but think about the plot and the implications of such ship in the canon context. My personal opinion is that Kikoru sees Kafka as a big brother, it is probably cause he is everything she's been lacking since she was a little girl, she was never praised, never protected (in a way that she could tell). Kafka represents comfort and someone who believes in her. That's why most of us love him so much cause he is the definition of "comfort". A young girl can misinterpret the feelings, sure (i believe she is 18~ not 16 as some people say. I think she is around the age of Reno). She can even see him with eyes of love, but do you think Kafka is able to see her with romantic love? Or even lust in all its forms? Idk, I'm not Matsumoto ofc, but I don't think this man has such feelings for her as he has for Mina (especially regarding the last manga chapters as well as being Mina's memory who actually made him come back to his "humanity"). I think the Kikoru x Kafka ship might come from two or even three reasons (mostly for young cis hetero men) 1. People simply like them together cause it was "the first" deep hetero interaction and connection they saw in the animanga. 2. They simply simp for kikoru, and they identify as Kafka. 3. They are young and misinterpret Kafka's demeanor; most people I've seen think Kafka "acts" younger or immature for "his age". Guys... he is 32, that's exactly how we act at 32, we are youngsters inside bodies with knee pain. [This is why I like this manga so much; we finally have representation. The problems Kafka goes through are exactly what happens to us after 29; life does not end at 20. Life is not perfect. Dreams do come true at 20, at 30 or even at 80, but society likes to act as if that was a lie, as if not achieving something before 30 was bad. Guys, we've been programmed to be a slave of the productive chain, the younger you are "the useful" you are to make money. And that's not life. That's why some are soo worried about us not having "enough kids". They are literally saying it will bring an economic default. Wonder why 🤷‍♀️]

If you ask me, there is nothing I'd like more than these two ending up together. I don't want clichés to be broken, I just want it that exact way 🥹💕 Mina always waited for him, and I hope she is able to give that sweet dork all the love he deserves cause she knows, above all, how much he's been struggling to reach his own success. They deserve to be together, in calm and happiness 💕

[mysticsparklewings]

Karla Choupette, but make her Winx!

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It’s been so long since I posted art, I kinda forgot how to caption it 😅

So I’ll stick with facts: Exactly 1 year ago today, I brought home my very first Rainbow High doll, Karla Choupette. Shortly after, I wanted to draw her, and since I was on a roll with Winx-Club-Style art at the time, this is the result! 🤍

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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This won't be much of surprise to Sparklers that read my most recent Museletter, but to those that didn't: Hi! Longtime no art; How've you been? 👋 😅 If you're curious about how & where I've been, I'm going to direct you to that Museletter for the full details.

Also as you'll see in the Museletter, I had actually started on and mostly finished this piece right before my accidental half-year hiatus actually began (in December). There are many reasons (discussed at length in the Museletter) as to why I've held onto this piece for so long, but chief among them are 1. A lack of motivation to type this description and 2. Even months later, I was still not 100% sure about the background I originally picked out.

We'll talk more about the background in a bit. Firstly, especially for those that didn't read the Museletter, I should probably tell you who/what exactly this is and why you're staring at it. 😆

This lady, dear Sparklers, is one Karla Choupette of Shadow High, which is a...sub-line? I guess is the best way to put it? of the Rainbow High doll line. Except, per my usual art shenanigans, she's been drawn in the Winx Club art style. 😅

Karla is also known as: The Doll that Broke My (also unintentional) 5-6 year Doll Buying Hiatus. And in fact, that was the final key to me dusting off my typing fingers to finally bring this art to you Sparklers today.

I'll try and keep this story brief, but...Well, loyal Sparklers know how me and "brief" usually go, so I'll just apologize in advance for how very not-brief this actually will be...

In a way, this story starts in 2016 with the second generation of Monster High.

The first generation of Monster High was, pretty indisputably, my "true doll love" even though until it's beginning in 2010 I'd been raised on mostly Barbie and some Bratz. But the second generation was almost completely canned by the fan base, including me.

By 2018, most Monster High merchandise had disappeared from stores entirely. It all happened so fast for a franchise that had been such a lightning-in-a-bottle success before; It was depressing. (It's still depressing, to be completely honest, even with G3 now alive and well.)

And after that, for years the was really nothing for me in the doll space. With Monster High and Ever After High gone, Barbie's quality having taken a nosedive, Bratz's presence be wildly inconsistent...Whatever options were left either didn't appeal to me personally or didn't stick around long enough for that to matter.

So for the next few years, my attention in the toy aisle was pretty squarely on Shopkins, Num Noms, and the occassional other surprise toys that tempted me enough to try at least once. 🤷‍♀️

In 2020 (so I've been told by the internet—I couldn't have remembered the date if my life depended on it because that's how little attention I was paying to them at the time), Rainbow High dolls started appearing in store. And I do believe I remember seeing them in-store, possibly even an enclosed display. And I remember really not liking them at the time!

And I didn't like what I saw of Rainbow High for a considerably amount of time after that. But somehow, someway, I did very slowly start to come around to them. I think the biggest factor was when I started to understand that despite what sounded like a cutesy name to me, Rainbow High was not effectively a line of CareBears dressed as teenage girls.

Though, at this stage, when I say "come around to," I really mean I stopped viewing the line with active disdain. It would take a while longer of random images popping up on my Instagram and Pinterest feeds (mostly Instagram) before I started to think, "Oh well maybe I'd buy one if xyz..."

But I don't think it was too much longer after the "if xyz" phase that I was browsing around on Pinterest

And there, that was the moment—*Gasp*, Who is she? She looks like Ivy if Ivy were pink! She's so pretty!!

Karla Choupette had appeared.

And for the record, yes—I did and still do think Karla looks a lot like what I envision for my Winx OC Ivy aside from the pink coloring. So if in the future you see me draw Ivy and her outfit looks suspiciously familiar, now you'll know why!

But, to be fair, that's not the only thing about Karla's design that appeals to me. The stark contrast of colors is one for sure, as well as the slight contrast of the punk-ish boots with the more formal/business-like dress/top situation. And after I did (spoiler alert) bring Karla home, I realized she bears some resemblance to one of my favorite Monster High dolls of all-time, Zomby Gaga, so there was almost definitely some subconscious influence coming from that.

Anyway. It was a little bit of a slow burn, but eventually the desire to actually get a Karla doll was rattling around in my head so loudly it was was very nearly literally keeping me up at night.

I completely lucked out in the timeline that Karla had already been out for a while at that point and last year's Amazon Prime Day wasn't too far around the corner. Sure, I could have just bought her at any time, but considering I'd been out of the doll-buying game a while and my "first doll back" was going to be one completely unlike the rest of my collection [..and I use that term kind of loosely here], so I didn't want to put too much money on the line when it was fully possible I'd get her home and unboxed and decide I didn't actually like her all that much.

The funny thing is, the story could've even there. Or at least taken a significant detour. Because, sure enough, Amazon did mark Karla down for Prime Day at the time, but before I could go through with the purchase, she sold out. 🙃

On a whim though, I decided to check Walmart a little later in the day, and lo and behold—Apparently they really wanted to compete with Amazon for sales that week, so they'd dropped their price on Karla to match and actually still had her in stock!

I ordered her for local pickup to avoiding paying for shipping, and the next day—Exactly one year ago today!—Karla came home with me. [And you can see a picture of my exact Karla in that Museletter I mentioned before, for those curious!]

It would be another couple of days before I actually opened her; Both in the store when we picked her up and while I was opening her, I was honestly a little scared that physically being able to hold her would somehow break whatever magic hold this doll had had over me up until either point.

But as you can probably guess by the way I'm telling this story and the fact that this art exists—Nope! And even a year and 20 (...soon to be 21...) more Rainbow/Shadow High dolls later, Karla is still my favorite. She is, in fact, the only one I currently have 2 of, as I found an incomplete-but-in-great-shape Karla for cheap on eBay about a month later.

To be fair, I should back up a bit and clarify: If you're familiar with the doll space, you may be wondering why/how Karla was the buying-hiatus-breaker for me even though Monster High G3 started releasing new dolls in 2022.

Technically I suppose she wasn't because I did get some of the MH G3 dolls and Howliday Draculaura for Christmas 2022, but for space/storage related reasons, it would be much longer before I actually opened any of my new MH dolls, and there were various aspects that made G3 still feel kind of rocky and uncertain at the time.

Karla was the one that really sparked my excitement for dolls in general again, though the excitement manifested as a rolling snowball instead of a roaring fire—I started out, as many doll fans across all brands have, insisting Karla would be the "only" Rainbow High doll I wanted/needed.

And if you'll remember I quoted a collection of 20 Rainbow High dolls a few paragraphs ago, then you'll already know exactly how that well-intended insistence turned out. 😆 [And this isn't even touching on the fact that, as also mentioned in the Museletter, that Karla and the Rainbow High girls also ignited a "make things for the dolls from scratch" spark in me that I have felt in...Mm, probably not since the earliest days of Monster High, sometime before 2013.]

Some of you are also now probably doing the math on how we arrived at the concept for this artwork—This is very much not the first (or even second or third) time that I've used the Winx Club art style as a vessel to express my love for some other thing.

It's been a while since the idea began by now, but I remember I had inklings of wanting to draw Karla for a while—I think in particular I wanted to play with Karla's white eyelashes in illustrated form since it's both something I've never seen on a doll before and also white eyelashes in general are just a unique and interesting concept to me—And since I was sorta on a roll with the Winx Club stuff/style, it wasn't too long or too far of a leap in logic to decide this is the way it would be done.

Likewise, if you've seen any of my most-recent Winx art, you'll already be fairly familiar with my process for how the art comes together in the most literal senses. So because of that and because it has been long enough that I don't remember finer details like areas that were particularly tricky so well, I'm going to skip over a lot of that here.

However, I do remember and can tell you a few things that make Karla here a little different from some of those other attempts of mine, so I will now start rambling about that in whatever order things come to mind.

Firstly and possibly the most obvious, Karla you could say Karla's wasn't "Winx-fied" as intensely as Helena or The Nanny, which was a very purposeful choice. I love Karla's original design so much that I really didn't want to touch it too much, and so while a fairy form like those other two artworks can often be more fun, I opted to keep Karla "casual."

To that end, I followed what patterns and "rules" I've observed for the Winx's Season 2-3 "casual outfits" as best I could without making any serious alterations. [The linked screenshot isn't the best example of said patterns/rules—You kinda have to take in multiple screenshots to get the best feel for that—but it's a decent enough point of reference for which outfits I'm talking about.]

So the main thing you'll notice are the things I took away or simplified because I think thy pushed Winx Club's style "limits" a bit too far—Karla has her fan but it's missing the word "Shadow" across the front, the zippers on her shoes aren't well-defined, the charm/pin from her tie is missing, you can't see the pinstripes on her dress (though if this were meant to be the Seasons 2-3 promo art style and not true-to-show style, I would've left those in)...things like that.

I did make small exceptions for things I felt would take away too much if I left them out like the details on her belt, the buckles on her boots, giving her eyeshadow, etc. But I tried to balance it all out. The belt is probably still pushing it, but I genuinely wasn't sure how else to handle it and I think everything else worked out well enough.

Now, I did make the decision to approach the line work more so how Season 4 would do it—There are more colored lines here than is really typical for Season 3, especially when you count Karla's hair. This was mostly done to try and preserve some of Karla's own "feel" when you look at her, but also a little for contrast of the different elements/textures at play. [For example, I thought lining her hair in black would look too harsh.]

...I should also probably mention that while I still stand by Karla looking a lot like what I want for Ivy, I really was focused on trying to capture Karla as herself here—I can't say Ivy never entered my mind during the drawing process because that's kind of impossible given that she lives and dies entirely in my imagination, but I did not consciously at any point use Ivy as reason or justification for any changes made to Karla's design.

Oh, and if this pose feels a little familiar, much like with Fran, I opted to re-use a pose I'd already been working with around the time I started this project. It's hard to tell from my sketches in the linked image, but in this case I did decide to re-draw the arms to nearly the opposite position because it made figuring out what to do with her fan so much easier.

Ironically, this pose is not at all the best way to get a good look at her white eyelashes, but I worked with what I had to make something nice without it taking 2-3 (or more) times as long, so I'm not actually too upset about that.

You could say that's sorta what happened with the background—I can't say this is my most favorite background I've ever put together, but I really did not have any better ideas, so...🤷‍♀️

Maybe it's obvious, maybe it's not, but I decided to try combining a design formula that's been used in a lot of the Rainbow High boxes as a background (and sometimes in other promotional material) with some general ideas from promotional images/profiles you may have seen of the Winx before.

So if you thought you were seeing Alfea castle edited into a rainbow gradient back there, you would be absolutely right. 😉

This is also why Karla's name is just kinda randomly hanging out over there on a "true to show style"—It's a little more consistent with the Winx profiles/images and added a little extra something I felt was missing from the full package.

And while not my primary motivation, I did kind of like the idea that with a background situation like this, if I decide I ever want to draw more Winxify-ed Rainbow High girls, I can re-use it and have them all a little more visually united as a series.

I have no current plans to do that, but I like being able to leave the door open for it, y'know?

...I think those are all the main things I wanted to mention. This is the real trouble with not writing these descriptions as soon as I'm able—I forget too much! But there's not much to be done about it now, so oh well I guess.

In such case, the important thing really is that I'm still happy with how the art turned out. Or at least Karla and some of the other details. Even at this very moment I still have my quibbles and doubts with the image of Alfea hanging out back there, but at this point I really don't want to put off uploading this any longer solely because of that, of all things.

Since I did find it in me to scramble what was left of this description together though, coupled with things I mentioned in that last Museletter, I really hope this means I've finally turned some kind of internal corner and and that it won't be another block of months before you Sparklers see more art from me.

At the very least, I can now say I've tried this new submission portal from dA and...It's not my beloved Sta.sh, but...eh, it's okay I guess. I still miss my editing/formatting tools being more available like in a proper text editor, but in some ways I do think I like this better than the previous submission portal, if I'm going to be forced to type out my descriptions in here from now on.

I think at least knowing that—that I'm marginally more familiar with this new portal now—will be a step in the right direction.

One last thing before I leave you Sparklers for today—I plan to give this description a once-over before I submit, but I've written most of it late at night after a busy shopping day and may or may not have caught myself almost dozing off a couple of times, so on top of my faulty memory, if you notice any exceptionally weird mistakes, that's probably where those came from and I missed them on my second read-through. 😅

In any case, Sparklers, I thank you for still being here and being patient with me—Like I said before, I sincerely hope this is just the beginning of me finally being "back," at least for a while, but ultimately only time will tell if it is or not.

But if it is, then I expect to see you all again much sooner rather than later...😉

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Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings

Karla Choupette/Rainbow High © MgA Entertainment

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[ultimateaclrecovery]

Checking in on my 2023 goals!

23 things for 2023

1. buy 1 horse

Done!! Bought Luna!!!

2. Knit a pair of socks

I knit a sock, that I finished today. But I mostly decided I wanted to knit other things instead so this is fine

3. Three camping trips

went to mt of the holy cross, and New Mexico for two camping nights, plus a day hike in winter park. So technically no but pretty close!

4. Plant four pumpkins

…..no. I bought seeds and did nothing and I don’t feel that bad about it

5. Handstand (five fingers) press

Lol no. Did nothing for it. Never made a plan and so did not achieve

6. Kill side yard weeds (because weeds are the devil 666)

Success? I paid a Gardner to pull them all so yes! Feels like a failure because I didn’t really deal with them or the yard in general, but they are all gone now.

7. Go to Loyola social justice meeting (7th heaven)

I went to a meeting! And baked cookies for an event. (And then never went back oops)

8. Mail 8 letters to mates - birthday cards probably

Success! (Rebecca birthday, Sarah birthday, Clare get well card, Callie birthday, Alison birthday, clare birthday, Callie wedding, clare kt recipe card)

9. Research 9 hours of getting a cat (9 lives)

Decided a horse was enough so stopped researching 🤷‍♀️[ read complete guide to adopting a cat 3 hours]

10. Do ten full pull ups

Total yes, in a row like intended absolutely not. I can do like 2.5 in a row. Made haphazard progress, but now I have a pull up bar so hoping for better next year!

11. Buy 11 things off of my to buy eventually list

Success! This was easy and I did it! (air fryer, air mattress, nice soap dispensers, office mat, thermometer, fire extinguisher, white tank top, little plates, shower cleaner, plastic drain pipes, sheet pan organizer, bonus: back door light bulb, rainbow flag and holder, more bras)

12. Go on 12 dates

Success! I thought this would be really hard but then I just got my boyfriend by like February and it ended up being the easiest ny resolution ever. He even asked me out to start.

13. Run a half marathon 13.1 miles

Success! (Okay this was a gimme because I signed up for it and had a training plan in 2022 but still)

14. Hike a fourteener

Success! mt of the holy cross and it was terrifying and very long but we did it!

15. Read 30 (15x2) books

I read 27 and have three in various states of completion. I kind of wanted to power this one thru but it wouldn’t have been fun and then what’s the point. This one is hard because I abandoned so so many books this year. Like I made it at least one chapter into like 40 and a couple half way thru. So close but no cigar but I refuse to read things that aren’t fun just to hit a goal so I feel fine about it.

16. Host 8 things

Hosted 3, organized a couple others so partial credit. I would like to do better in the future. ( galentines, whimsy brunch, birthday, organized brunch at watercourse, organized lake day)

17. Go out dancing (must be more dancing than drinking, dance class counts.)(dancing queen only 17)

Nope. But also that’s fine.

18. Upgrade phone and deal with all photos. Upload belize to fb and save others. Data management

Mostly. I got an external storage for Christmas so I can finish when I get home. So solid partial credit. (uploaded some. Upgraded phone plus new battery, still need to get data off of it) emmapictures2222_2@gmail.com emmapictures2222@gmail.com

19. General contractor for house cracks plus install air conditioner

Success. Installed ac. Got the cracks looked at once and they were fine and then they got worse and now I’m getting foundation work done. So success I guess.

20. Get 20 layout ds

… I did not count. I def got some but probably not 20 so partial credit. (4 from leiout)

21. Go to frisbee Masters regionals

Success! Another bit of gimme but we went and qualified to nationals!)

22. Buy purple navel jewelry (I’m feeling 22)

Success! (And I love it)

23. volunteer for 23 hours

No and I feel bad about it. I need to find something to volunteer with. I feel like I should have the time/be able to make time but it also feels like I never have time and also never want to. But I think it’s important.

So overall full success on 11 of the goals, happy partial on 5, annoyed partial on 2, abandoned 4 and failed my last one and feel bad about it.

But overall pretty good success!

[greyias]

Fic writers' end-of-year roundup: 2022 edition!

Tagged by @elveny -- thank you for the tag! Tagging @queen-scribbles, @keldae, @storyknitter, and anyone who wants to grab it!

I would say 2022 was a mixed year as far as productivity goes! I was actually actively writing most of the year (with pockets of "too tired" draining me every now and then), but a lot of it was on a longfic that I waited until I had finished the first draft to start posting. But I think it was successful overall, as I was able to

Words written (published or not, WIPs included!): I'm probably just going to count published, as I have been working on some WIPs in the background, but that requires more math and thinking than I have in me right now, so we'll go with a little over 43k published, although it's a bit higher with some WIPs and other behind the scenes stuff.

Smut scenes: None published this year

New things I tried: Chance Encounters, which was my big experiment in a different method outlining/prewriting for long form fic. It took me a long time to get it into finished form, but considering the massiveness of the fic and the fact that it's complete, I think is a success in itself.

Fic I spent the most time on:  Without a doubt, Chance Encounters, my little 36k novella (that for some reason I thought would only be 10k 🤷‍♀️)

Fic I spent the least time on: I think this little ficlet, that was basically me bashing out a musing/headcanon in like maybe an afternoon.

Favourite thing I wrote: Once again, almost by default of taking up most of my year Chance Encounters, although I did have a lot of fun writing it. It's rather self-indulgent, and a fun, mostly lighthearted adventure. I think runner up is the Outlander!Theron fic I've picked back up on in the past week or so, considering I keep having to tell myself "No, you can't start posting yet. You haven't proofread anything beyond maybe the first chapter. You don't even have a title"

Favourite thing I read: @storyknitter's Medieval AU, which I have adored every little entry into. So much so, I slid into her DMs to see if she could get me a compiled version to load on my Kindle for a day at jury duty that got rescheduled for 2023. I wound up re-reading the whole thing in a couple of days.

Writing goals for next year: Finish the Outlander!Theron fic, and finally exorcise that beast from my mind. I've also got some other long, lingering WIPs that I'd like to try and tackle. I'm having enough fun with this pre-writing/writing I'm doing on the Outlander!Theron fic, that I'm hoping I can bottle that energy up and use it on some of my other unfinished babies. I also really want to write more in the Chancesverse, because I love that little AU so much. Also, I want to try to find a way to write more consistently, which is more driven by my energy levels. I also have this crazy urge to try and write on some original stuff, but we'll see where that lands. If I can get a good enough handle on fic progress, maybe I can bottle a genie and spread that magic to something I can get published.

[yume-x-hanabi]

5 for Gaius and 6 for Wingul and 15 for Xillia and 50 and 62 just because!

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

(I'm taking this as in how many wips do I have that are Gaius-centric; pls correct me if I'm wrong 😅)

Posted: Concubinage and Fractured Lives (though that one is alternating PoV)

WIPs in my documents:

some pre-game conquest of Auj Oule one-shot that I might have to revamp anyway (I had a whooooole thing planned out, with details about all the clans and stuff, but idk anymore)

another Concubinage-verse smutty one-shot (AU-ish). not sure I'll finish this one either XD

a previous Spicy Cocktail prompt fill I haven't finished but want to. Mostly Wingul pov but it's gonna alternate with Gaius a bit. Kinda darker/more fucked-up than my usual stuff honestly, but I like what I'd written so far

another Spicy Cocktail prompt fill I will probably give up on bc I'm not sure about the set-up anymore 😅

...and that's it actually. Turns out most of my fics are written from Wingul's pov 😂

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

(again, taking this as "Wingul-centric line")

I'm actually not sure, because I'm pretty sure the last Wingul-related wip I made progress in was Moonlight Tempest (my WinDist collab fic with @bibliophileemily), and since it's a collab fic I don't remember who wrote what line lol

I don't know which other Wingul-centric wip was the latest before that (it's been a while), but I found another incomplete sentence in my drafts so let's go with that 😂

Wingul was not one to give up easily. His own stubborn pride prevented him from

From chapter two of the reincarnation AU. I have... no idea where this was supposed to go orz

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Evening is when I'm the most productive writing-wise, even though I wish I could apply that to more convenient parts of the day.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

🤷‍♀️

(English is hard XD)

62. In [insert fic], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut?

Gonna answer for Concubinage.

I had a scene in the original version of chapter 26's smut scene (rewrote that one entirely from my original draft) where Lin called Arst "(my) dear" in Long Dau. Arst asked what he said and Lin got embarrassed and tried to deflect, while Arst tried to pester an answer out of him (without success). It was a cute scene, but it sadly didn't go with the flow of the revised version. Maybe I can try to repurpose it in another scene one day...

[omens-and-more]

Oh my god, I'm so tired of Poppy. It's been almost a year since that song they did came out.

The song is the most successful off of the OST so I se why they would want to still perform it. I don’t think it’s going away any time soon. At all. I don’t really mind that Poppy is or isn’t touring with them either way tbh. 🤷‍♀️ I just hope they finally put out something new to tour because a setlist with mostly TDOPOM feels overdone now.

…

[mediapiays]

the katseye girls were mainly teens in that doc so i can understand to an extent but yeah all of the girls in the program went about it in a mean girl way. i do think manon was favored by hybe though since they gave her the kazuha treatment and flew out to scout her and then gave her instructors to work with before she joined as a trainee so i also don't think it was wrong of the girls to feel upset about the favoritism in a way esp when she was missing practices because she didn't think she was obligated to attend (not the ones where she was injured). hybe kind of is shoehorning her into the jk role where they definitely wanted her in the group regardless of how the results came out. still, the whole thing gave catty energy and it was very immature to gang up on her from such a bigger group of girls to only 1 person. i think the katseye girls have worked it out now since it's been over a year and they look okay during their lives and stuff. i've been keeping up with them a bit since dream academy ended and nothing has been too terrible. just last month they were saying that manon and lara hated yoonchae and the only one that liked her was sophia because they would giggle at her and not just sit awkwardly when she didn't know what to say bc she's not fluent in eng yet😭 it's just sometimes a mess in that fandom because all survival shows inherently breed solo stans. i think their last weverse live was pretty okay dynamics wise!

Well I kinda understand why they gave her instructors because she didn't have any singing or dancing experience compared to the other girls, she was scouted based off her looks but she managed to hold her own during the show and we all know hybe looks mostly for "star power" and stage presence when choosing idols so 🤷‍♀️

It did seem immature to be talking behind manons back like that but we kind of have to understand that it's a group of teenagers in a very competitive situation which basically promises instant success if they do debut BUT manon didn't deserve the girls talking behind her back especially that one bitch with the lip filler that seems to be migrating.

I've seen some clips of girls interacting with each other though and I fo agree that there's no bad blood between them and I hope they don't take what kpop stans are saying to heart and let it affect their friendship with each other

[hoghtastic]

The way this podcast is promoted reminds me so much of Oliver green, and we all know how that worked out. they made a huge deal out of the whole thing but it was kind of just a big deal because he has a big fanbase. after the fans have been harvested as far as i know og didn't go well until now.

That is true, I also feel like Oliver Green had a huge initial success because of Alex's fans. But at least the brand's concept was somewhat interesting and some watch models were fine. Unfortunately, I don't think this will happen with the podcast, even if Alex is involved. For starters, his international fanbase is excluded, because even if it will be available for everyone to watch, there's the language barrier. And then there's the content, which I'm not really sure will interest a huge amount of public outside his circle of friends and some fans. But we'll see. 😊

And as you brought up Oliver Green, I truly believe they did it mostly to cater to Alex's fans, as the owners already had another brand of watches (About Vintage), with very similar models and price range, so it felt a little more of the same. 🤷‍♀️ And initially they were all very nice, involving the fans and even asking them to promote the brand around the globe, promising to send some posters, which they never did. And when most people bought their watches and shared them, they didn't really care to repost them. It would have made the fans (their main target) happy, and encourage others to buy too/again. So it wasn't very clever on their part, in my opinion. And now no one really talks about them anymore.

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

So instead of replying in a simple sentence, I'll ask some questions, cause I am curious about this line of logic

1. How do you think it is racist and zionist? Genuinely, because from what ive seen, its a show with multiple black characters, Asian characters, and indigenous characters who are full characters - if you ever chose to actually watch the show and not do any research yourself and just go off of others opinions saying its "glorifying slavery" because they have a Maori Jewish man play a white guy (and don't say "they fired an actor for speaking out about Palestine", when other cast members spoke about Palestine too and the actor blocked OP who made that theory)

2. Shows are canceled, and people do campaigns for it. And? This has been a thing for 60 years, starting with Star Trek The Original Series. What truly is the harm in people trying to renew a show that was canceled by a network? Why can't they use disposable income for things that make them happy (which also assumes they're not using it for something else, despite you being able to look up a fundraiser OFMD fans are doing for Gaza right now, already over $8k)? Cause I bet you had a show that you enjoy too, canceled or not, which would leave you sad if they did cancel it. Unless you are more special than everyone else and not bothered by such trivial things like that 🤷‍♀️

3. And on that last point, shows being canceled in the past decade - that's a problem. Especially considering how big one like OFMD was, to be a literal flagship rivaling Succession, yet Max found it "didn't have the numbers". A League of Their Own, Paranormal Park, Paper Girls, First Kill... there's a pretty big common denominator in a lot of shows recently being canceled despite their audience views rn

I apologize for the snarky tone. Just a little bothered by people wishing death in the very notes of this post, on (mostly queer) fans of the latest tv show they find cringe and must deem to be pure and unproblematic.

If you don't care to at least read and process everything I took the time to type, then do us both a favor and block

never feel shame in asking for mutual aid because amidst multiple genocides, people raised $20k for a racist tv show lead by a anti-black zionist that didn't need saving.....

[aegor-bamfsteel]

hey there, what is your opinion on Rhaenyra? (I know it’s unpopular but I don’t see her as a good ruler because some of her actions shows tyranny, maybe I’m just bitter that Rhaenys the queen who never was didn’t become queen despite having a better claim and the potential 🤷‍♀️).

Hi anon!

I’ve spoken a little about Rhaenyrà in some responses to other people’s answers, and mostly I’m just annoyed at how GRRM wrote her character, especially how she was basically supplanted as protagonist by Dæmon Targaryen, a character he liked too much for his own good. I don’t think your stance that she’s not a good ruler is unpopular at all; once she’s torturing her most important allies, demanding the execution of a girl protected by guest right from another ally, raising taxes and executing people to the point there’s riots to drive her out within 6 months, failing to provide critical aid resulting in the death of another ally, and then F&B1 invents the Silent Five, a flagrant act of tyranny for essentially speaking the truth…well, it’s hard to claim that she was anything but a tyrant. That’s half the point of the Dance of the Dragons, that neither her nor Aegon II were good rulers. However, GRRM forgot to give Rhænyra any redeeming features (unless you count love for her children, the same trait as Cersei). Even Aegon II demonstrated more bravery, fighting in battle twice, and even some diplomacy, considering he was able to take Dragonstone (of which Rhænyra had been liege since 113, demonstrating she was an awful ruler even then) by convincing some of her men to defect, all while disguising himself. He even has a better dragon; Sunfyre was able to detect Aegon needed him after he was wounded, and the two spent months searching for each other; whereas Syrax is lazy and her most important contribution to the war was getting Joffrey killed. Rhænyra didn’t have a single success in her reign, neither military nor diplomatic; the credit belongs to Dæmon (more on how he steals from her narrative later), Corlys Velaryon (who supported her and Dæmon though it’s strongly implied Dæmon murdered his only son and Rhænyra wanted to name her illegitimate children heirs to that son’s seat), and her son Jacaerys (with the dragon seeds and successfully treating with Northern allies). Her only consistent positive attribute was her beauty, but then GRRM relishes in telling us how she never lost pregnancy weight and how it took 6 bites for Sunfyre to eat her (much like how Cersei’s downfall is associated with her gaining weight). When people more competent than Rhænyra include a literal teenage boy and her drunken half-brother, and all of them are men, I can’t help but think there’s some misogyny involved.

There’s two main problems with this: 1) It’s not at all accurate to the Anarchy and 2) Rhænyra’s character, arc, and contributions are minimized in favor of Authorial Favorite Dæmon Targaryen.

In real life, Empress Matilda was the only surviving legitimate child of Henry I, never taught to rule and in fact shipped to the Holy Roman Empire at age 8, wed to the incompetent 13-year-old Geoffrey Plantagenet at 25 to settle a border dispute, was supported mainly by her illegitimate half-brother Robert Of Gloucester and her uncle David of Scotland, her forces succeeded in capturing rival Stephen but thanks to forces under the control of Stephen’s wife Mathilde (an absolute BAMF who also got the Scots to stay neutral) was driven away from London after an attempted coronation, staged a daring escape in the middle of winter when she was besieged at Oxford, swapped Robert for Stephen, fought a stalemate that divided the country, became a diplomat for her son Henry, and died peacefully age 65. She was bold, daring, spent her Formative years out of her home country, she couldn’t care less that her husband sired 3 illegitimate children (I mean her own dad sired 24. Really more medieval English kings had illegitimate children than not), she was capable of negotiating for her valuable allies, and we don’t even know what she looked like. She was not vain, incompetent, cowardly, undiplomatic, outwardly prejudiced toward illegitimate children, paranoid, or attempted to murder her husband’s lover. Which brings me to that husband in question…

GRRM got so interested in writing Dæmon Targaryen’s story that he reduced Rhænyra—the only widely acclaimed Targaryen queen claimant pre-canon, thus the natural protagonist of this story—to a prop in it as one of his many lovers. Dæmon gets all of the cool equipment and achievements Rhænyra lacks: the ancestral sword Dark Sister (which was made for a woman’s hands. Queen Rhaenys Targaryen Velaryon got super robbed), a special “bloodwyrm” dragon Caraxes that was “fearsome and experienced” in battle, he has multiple exceptional women motivated by their attraction to him when he’s less than faithful and quite cruel (not just Rhænyra, but the spymaster Mysaria, and the dragon warriors Laena and Nettles, with even Alicent rumored to have been his lover; suspiciously, Rhænyra stops taking lovers once she’s wed to him), despite having even less diplomatic skills than Rhænyra made up for it by massive success in battle even without using Caraxes (even though the military tactics described in the Taking of Stone Hedge are so bullshit even I could tell GRRM was tipping his hand), his hold over the gold cloaks was so strong even after years out of service that they betrayed the Greens for him…this is very over-the-top, especially when GRRM wrote Rhænyra as not being a warrior and constantly alienating her closest allies. She even alienates Dæmon by ordering Nettles’ death, causing him to have one of his few acts of humanity by telling Nettles to flee while he flies off to heroically die fighting actual cartoon villain Aemond (who becomes his biggest enemy because the established Rhænyra/Alicent&Aegon conflict wasn’t enough…Dæmon needs his own special rival) and the biggest dragon Vhagar. Yes, the man complicit in the murders of children gets a badass death in battle while Rhænyra gets eaten by a dragon after being betrayed by her closest allies. Rhaenyra starts off entitled and ends up a torturer and a tyrant, but Dæmon starts off as a predatory sadist and ends up…having a moment of reflection after Nettles‘ death warrant and successfully kills the Greens’ best warrior/dragon with his dying breath. Does this seem fair? Need I remind you that The Princess and the Queen was published as part of the anthology “Dangerous Women”, thus promising us a female centric conflict; but after The Rogue Prince it became the Daemon Story, with the female characters sexually connected to him to the point it’s their primary motivation (Mysaria) or character turning point (Nettles). All the female characters suffered to prop up Daemon, but with Rhaenyra it’s particularly frustrating because she was supposed to be the protagonist (with the requisite character arc, character assets to balance out those flaws, and fittingly tragic ending.) No surprise, my frustration with Dæmon (a recent addition to the Targ canon, considering how he didn’t even emerge as a character until TPATQ and thus has never been mentioned in canon era. The attempt to claim Daena named her son after this man is a pathetic retcon) as an authorial favorite nearly on the level of Bl00draven feeds into how annoyed I am with Rhænyra’s character. Maybe it’s just harder for GRRM to empathize with evil female characters than evil male ones (just look at Jaime and Tyrion versus Cersei), thus they get written with few of the gimmicks or nuance that make the latter so beloved.

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 27: Whelve 🕳️

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Whelve (v.)

to turn (as a dish or vessel) upside down usually to cover something

to bury something deep; to hide

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Whichever one I was the most lost on how to handle before? Scratch that, this one takes that cake now. If it wasn’t obvious. 😅

It was also yet another chaotic day with not much time to play. I hope that doesn’t continue for the remaining 4…🫠

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk a bit more about my general thoughts/process. ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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😮‍💨 Sparklers, I'm tired. Remember how I said yesterday was a chaotic day around the house? That was true again today. And now you know why this piece both went up particularly late for the Obscutober pieces and spent a fair bit of time without a proper description afterward, too. 😅

Now, also to be fair, I wasn't as upset as I probably should have been about the chaos and the delays it caused because I had exactly one idea for this mandala, and it did not feel like a good enough idea to carry the mandala on its own.

...And yet, that's essentially what I did: Go with that one idea and make it carry the whole mandala. Care to take a guess what said idea was?

Granted, if I'd had more time when I was finally about to sit down and worry about the art for today, I probably would have experimented and dug for more ideas, at least to see what my options were even if the outcome wasn't that different. But that was time I just didn't have today.

So. In case you couldn't guess, my main idea was shovels, after the whole "bury something" part of the definition.

...Alright, I admit that I did briefly toy with the idea of turtles, since they tie in well with concept of hiding. But I didn't end up incorporating that both because the longer I thought about it, the less it seemed to fit, and also I really could not be bothered with the amount of trial-and-error I knew it would take to get a turtle in this style that was to my liking. 👎

I think generally this word, for me, would've been better suited to a mini-magnet approach. I could just as easily be wrong, though.

Still, with shovels as my base, the next logical thing I could think to do was just make some ground surrounding the shovels; Emphasizing how you'd use a shovel to dig down deep, through multiple layers of dirt. And that explains the bulk of the mandala, except...

Those square not-quite-flower things at the end of every shovel. What's that about?

Honestly, I just wanted something else that was less doodle-y, less specifically tied to the ground/shovel concept, and maybe kinda felt like it tired more into hiding.

It's a very loose connection, but I was sort of thinking this square-ish motif at least vaguely went with "hide" since the edges are dark and the center almost looks like a mid-bloom flower or something. So maybe in some sense you'll get a "flower hiding secrets" kind of vibe from it?

Similarly, the fill-in colors for those wasn't really thought out. I just went with colors I thought would look good—Which I think was a success, at least!

There might have been hints of "gold for treasure, like you'd bury" or "red like an X-marks-the-spot would be on a map" influencing me there, but I won't swear to it, and I'm genuinely still not sure of where the blue came from other than making a nice primary palette. 🤷‍♀️

Sooo...That's kinda it. 😅 I do think visually, as a piece of art, it came out well—pretty, even! My hang up is purely that it doesn't tie back into the definition for the word super well. Quite possibly the worst so far on that front.

But, given the events of the day, I'm going to mostly let it go and just be happy that it does look nice and that I was able to get it done and posted in time.

I am hoping though that this coming week, things will calm down a little bit so we can end the month on a higher note...I'm expecting that, because I know how these things tend to go, but I can dream, can't I? 🫠

Now if you Sparklers will excuse me, I need a bit of a rest before it's time to start on the next one of these. 😴

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See the Prompt List

Artwork © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️=

[beepboop358]

To be honest there's a lot of people that don't really care about how St's marketing's going rn, I know a lot of people that were perfectly fine with st4 coming out on summer. Like, I feel like this is irritating mostly to the ones that have been actively waiting for season 4 to come out, like us, but we're generalizing the disappointment a little too much, there's a lot of people that didn't even know leave alone care that there were hints about the SuperBowl, Stranger Things is very famous universally, when it comes out countless people will watch it, whoever loses interest because of how long we're waiting will not exactly make a lot of damage, most people will just watch it when it comes out and go about their lives until the next season. I feel like the only people they're really risking are the ones that are devoted to Stranger Things until they get fed up of waiting, but they have a lot of watchers that won't really mind this. I know I've casually watched movies, shows and visual novels that have taken a lot of time in coming out and I still didn't really care and watched it anyway, and they weren't half as famous as ST.

Don't get me wrong, I get what you all mean and I understand that, I just think this bad marketing and how long it's taking doesn't affect the real majority of ST's watchers as much as everyone's saying it does.

hey anon!

Yeah I totally understand that those of us who are the most upset by it are the minority. The causal viewers aren't aware of all the little stuff, so there's nothing to be disappointed or let down by, but I mean I know a few casual viewers who just don't care about the show anymore because it's been so long and are now into other shows more (which I'm honestly really surprised Netflix isn't worried about - ST used to be like an "it" show, and waiting so long to release leaves room for another show to swoop in and kind of take that spot) and I know a lot of casual viewers irl who are going to watch it and are waiting for it, but are confused and frustrated by the fact that we've gotten so little over 3 years. Those people are like "hey where tf is stranger things? what happened to it?" So it's not just us the ones who are obsessed with the show who are questioning the marketing, but we are the ones who are more invested in it, so naturally we are more upset and disappointed. I feel like waiting this long to out a TV show is risky (movies are different and run on very different timelines generally) because there's usually a steady following for a TV show, and you are pandering to a certain audience, and TV comes out faster (or is generally supposed to) than movies do.

I guess we'll see how it turns out. I think season 4 will be pretty successful, but Netflix is in a super different place now than when season 3 came out, so if s4 gets a few million more views than s3 did, it's still gonna be successful, but not as predominantly as other seasons. They measure the success of how well a show does by how much it's watched in the first 28 days since release. Every time the other 3 seasons have come out, they've been record setters for the most watched... So in order for season 4 to continue it's pattern of setting records,(which Netflix loves to hype up ST about) it now needs to top Squid Games. Season 4 will probably do very well and a lot of people will watch it, I have no doubt of that, but I just don't know exactly how well it'll do with the 3 year gap. Netflix may be disappointed if ST4 doesn't continue setting records 🤷‍♀️, and that's a huge number to surpass LOL. It will be a great experiment for other media too, to see if most viewers really will wait that long, and to see if they can have even more success.

thanks for the ask! Hope you're well! xx

[jeanvanjer]

Just putting my thoughts out here.

Disclaimer: I haven't seen s2 so my opinions are purely based on reviews and answers by qthe reviewers who got screeners

I agree that Edwina's character and her relationship with Kate relationship could have been better explored in the books. We mostly just hear Kate talk about her, but we never get to see those things about Edwina. So I am glad they've explored her character in depth. But I also cannot let go of the fact that they've maybe just turned her character around. Her most compelling qualities in the book were that she was intellectual and very clear that she wanted a scholar. She was also very perceptive and was one of the few people who immediately picked up of the undercurrents in Kanthony's relationship which is perhaps why she wasn't so shocked by their engagement. JQ shouldnhave definitely added more sisterly scenes where Edwina could have encouraged Kate to go for what her heart wants and reassured her of how much she admires Kate.

I agree that fleshing out characters is great for storytelling. But they could have maybe delved deeper into her existing qualities instead of turning her into a different person? Maybe I am reading too much into this but I guess I'll be fully ready to embrace the differences by 25th?🤷‍♀️

Sorry for babbling in your asks Zara. But I love the way you explore these topics calmly that otherwise get drowned in the general uproar in the fandom ❤

You're absolutely fine for babbling!! I love getting the opportunity to blab my mouth off so please don't stop yourself.

I think as someone who loves Kate as a character, the nice solution would've have been to have Edwina encourage Kate nicely, like a “shipper” if you will, but as someone with two younger sisters myself, i would want Edwina to be really upset and confront both her and Anthony and I hope thats what we're getting.

I loved those aspects about her too. Just giving her more of a voice and agency without changing anything personality wise would've been the route I would've taken but unfortunately Shondaland didn't hire me. I do like the irony of Edwina who was not so inclined to be married and quite fancies a book as opposed to the company of a man became this success of a Diamond. What they really could have focused on is this immense pressure to marry that she felt in the book. Edwina cried from relief when she realized she didn't have to marry. This also tracks with Indian culture. I myself had a very traditional and conservative arranged marriage. That pressure to marry is present in society today and so i would've loved to see Edwina go ham on both Anthony and Kate. Anthony for using her and Kate for her ridiculous martyrdom, over the pressure they put her through and how they risked ruining lives over their idiocy. In fact, call me overly dramatic but I would've maybe even preferred her pushing the limits and actually agreeing to marry Anthony just to see how far they would continue to sacrifice in the name of duty. 

as far as perceptiveness goes they definitely made it seem as if she notices whats going on between Kate and Anthony in the trailer. Apparently thats not true. So the changes have been made and we cant do much but try to understand the dynamic and how duty really plays a role and how loyalty to duty and not oneself or a loved one can shake up any relationship.

So despite whatever changes they’ve made to her, its still best to go into the season remember that Edwina is young, apparently oblivious and she knows what her duty is and that is to marry and sure she likes Anthony so despite what unfolds it might be easier to stomach things if we look at it her way.

[ashtcnirwin]

🧡

as far as fic landscapes go, it’s odd to be faced with the realisation that attitudes you had to deal with years and years and years ago can still haunt you when you thought you’d managed to mostly shake them ages ago

tie that binds hit 200 kudos at some point between today and whenever i last checked my ao3 stats, and as much as that should feel like a positive milestone to reach, it felt more like a slap to the face when i saw it this morning. there was some happiness and pride mixed in there but it made me feel bad more than anything else, which is awful

i’ve been in the fic game for a while, and i remember a time (approximately 7-10 years ago) where writers who wrote smut were accused of doing so only to up their stats (be it hits, kudos or interaction). those accusations were thrown around in the shape of straight up hateful anon messages, but also in the shape of more subtle digs from people (readers and other writers alike) who didn’t like smut

smut was (and still is, to a certain degree) seen as a quick fix to getting more reads, more kudos/likes, etc etc., and even though i know that 1) that isn’t even accurate according to my own stats (E-rated draws hits but not necessarily kudos and definitely not interaction), and 2) writing smut is no quicker nor easier than writing anything else, i carry those prejudices with me

i have no disillusion whatsoever about why ttb is my second most hit & kudosed fic, quickly approaching the #1 spot. i know very well that it’s because of all the smut tags, because of the hyper focus on sex all throughout. i know it’s not because it’s a super duper well written work

but what i struggle with is the nagging voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me that i “””sold out””” when i started posting it, that i intentionally chose the quick and easy path to “””””””success””””” (big quotation marks there lmao) by choosing to write a kink exploration fic

and i know that’s dumb, i know it’s not even true, because if there’s one thing writing ttb wasn’t, it was quick and easy. i’ve never struggled as much to write something as i did there, i lost sleep and i skipped meals and i cried with frustration and i forced myself to write around the clock for a while because i was dead set on finishing it, so it wasn’t easy. and i know i said to at least two different people something along the lines of “this is either gonna become my most popular fic or it’s not even gonna crack 30 kudos”, aka i genuinely had no idea if it was gonna land with anyone or not

despite knowing that, despite knowing that i in no way wrote it with the intention of it becoming one of my most popular fics, i look at the lil 200-number and i feel awful, i feel guilty, i feel like i have no right to be proud of it

because the attitudes that i saw back in the day, the attitudes i still see around once in a blue, are very much present in the back of my head and they tell me that all i did was write some words about two dudes fucking (which, as a side note: there’s nothing wrong with writing however many K of a fic that’s nothing but straight up smut with no deeper intention behind it), that there’s nothing to be proud of

i keep hearing in my head that i wrote something cheap and simple just to up my stats, no matter how firmly i believe that ttb is neither cheap nor simple despite the fact that the core premise is based on sex

and it blows, because i put so much into that story, it damn near killed my will to write at all for a long time actually, so i should feel okay about being proud of it, but i don’t, and...yeah, it sucks, it really does🤷‍♀️