#and it won't hurt quite as much

[lemuel-apologist]

i think it's an important part of growing into who you want to be on your way out of what you were raised in. whether it's making black out poetry with a book of mormon that you kind of wince at years later or fashioning your string lights into a crown of thorns or nodding a little too hard at the thought of watching south park or "more like LIEble, lol," you're going to go through that phase of oh-so-edgy post-christian atheism. it's a part of growing up. and you'll look back at yourself years later, chuckling at the same jokes with more peace than righteous agreement, knowing you're okay now. it's okay.

[fighting-these-demons]

Divorce Saga Domon - A Haunted Honk Prequel

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

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Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....

For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon

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Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.

The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like

Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.

He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.

Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.

He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable. 

He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.

Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.

Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.

Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.

Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.

So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.

There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.

After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.

They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.

He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.

I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.

But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.

The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.

@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 3 thoughts

here i am, once again. feeling lost, but now and then. i breathe it in. to let it go… and you don’t know where you are now, or what it will come to, if only somebody could hear

(it started with "here i am" to indicate i was once more taking my notes, but it spiraled into victorious lyrics. and then the song being stuck in my head all day. endless humming was done at the workplace)

and other such sentiments. let us jump in to this one.

first thing we see: a nice car. ARCADE!!!!! arcades are places of whimsy and i want to be at them. this is a mostly empty arcade. but someone stole this one dude’s game… i mean, it’s fair to lose your game when you leave the room, but this other dude in the pizza shirt is being rude about it 

HOLY FUCK IS THAT JACK BLACK???????

jack black is watching while his friend gets beat up but knows his friend has an ace up his sleeve…. and that ace is…. controlling the radio? and then electrocuting the guy who stole his game. to death.

jack black and lightning guy go back to gaming after some murder

this is sooo funny... i can’t wait to see what scully and mulder and jack black get up to 

we open to scully doing an autopsy in oklahoma and she is soooo pretty. she does not believe that lightning killed 5 people in the same small town. i would have to say that i agree with that conclusion. and four more have been killed, the sheriff walks in and announces!

this sheriff seems awful. “you know anything about lightning, agent scully?” do you know anything about being quiet?

he accuses her of not doing her homework because "they farm lightning there" (whatever the hell that even means) umm... okay so how did your farming kill 9 children you prick? do you not think that is, in itself, worthy of investigation? imagine if a cow farm all of a sudden had 9 murderous cows. would we not want to look into this, mister sheriff.

and why is mulder just watching all of this go down? just as i typed that she said “feel free to jump in anytime” ��why? you were doing just fine”, he responds, and while i like his belief in her, he certainly could have lent a hand. he never is quiet and now he chooses to be... hmm. not mister quip all of a sudden taking a vow of silence.

(the credits confirm this is in fact jack black, as if i wouldn’t know him anywhere. i'd know him blind, by the sound of his footsteps, or however that one quote goes)

narrative shift! lightning boy, who is named "darin", is working at a car shop. and a woman customer is coming in. and oh, the way he is looking at her makes me want to explode. DISGUSTING MAN! he is saying he is sorry for what he said last night- now WHAT were you saying to her last night, young gentleman? had we not just seen him kill someone, i would still have found him scary and suspicious.

the agents are going to where the latest murder victim was struck. as scully reads a case file over the formerly very nice but now very fried car, mulder is squatting down on the ground in the parking lot. average strange man behavior. and while this is happening, scully has sunglasses on and she is serving. 

jack black is counting coins at the arcade. scully asks to talk with him and says she’s from the FBI and he goes “alright!” and it was perfect line delivery. no notes.

he pretends to not know who the guy who was killed was and then pulls a "oh, THAT guy" moment... LMAOOOO 

mulder is prowling about looking at video games. he uses the high score list to find clues, but i think he was just kinda wanting to play a little. or maybe he considers himself above such undignified pleasures. however, i do not, and think everyone should have a little arcade time.

they go off to the car shop to talk with darin, who has become suspect number one due to his many high scores set the same evening as the other fellow fried. darin gives mulder a mike and ike, which he takes, and offers another to scully, who refuses, likely using her doctorly knowledge to imagine that his hands have been in very dirty places. he denies knowing anything, and then makes mulder's phone blow up, as if that would detract from the suspicious aura about him. and that phone seems like it was expensive!!

darin is at home changing the tv channel. until jack black arrives. jack black has seemed to have entirely enough with this whole zapping thing, as he tries to get his friend to stop generating electricity, and begs him not to zap the cows again. the COWS? oh we need to do something about this kid NOW.

with all the muttering about zapping, i can see why it would make people not want to hang out with him, in addition to his many other unpleasant qualities. he strikes himself with lightning about 3 times, lays down in the grass, and then proclaims that he feels "excellent". at this point, i began to form a guess of what would happen to our dear friend jack black.

(and by the way, despite his friend's pleas not to, darin DID zap a ton of cows. truly a god-awful fellow)

the agents roll up to investigate the cow murder. and now that the sheriff has been established as a jerk, mulder is gonna get involved. talking about the frequency at which lightning can be detected and saying "see, i did my homework" yeah yeah it's impressive but you should have been there before.

the sheriff wants them to go away sooo bad omg. is he darin's dead beat dad or something? starting to think that is the only explanation for him behaving the way that he does. but a clue! they find a footprint at the lighting strike.

cut to scully making a plaster cast!!! i did not know this was a skill she was familiar with. she proclaims that it is a standard military boot, size 8 and a half. he seems really impressed she can tell the size of a shoe, until she tells him it’s right on the boot LMAOOO. he really thought she could just do that. why is that a skill she would have? great question!

she also finds antifreeze, which implicates darin. but how could he make lightning, she asks. girl idk.

oh this kid is a CREEP, even more evil than i had thought: he changes the lights on a stoplight to watch people get in accidents. what the HELL. can we do something about him?

jack black tries to talk him out of his weird doomer behavior, and says they should go to vegas, where he can manipulate the electricity to win big. and this seems to me a splendid idea! but darin says he won’t go anywhere without his teacher, who was the woman he was talking to earlier in a fashion that made my skin crawl.

oh! he wants to "prove his love". and his crush is married to HIS BOSS. when jack black points out the conflict of interest there, darin says maybe he'll fry his boss, and laughs as if this is a great joke, while his friend looks very scared.

the agents are in darin's bedroom now, a place no one has ever wanted to be. 

mulder picks up a playboy and she says something about being surprised he hasn’t read it already and he’s like “oh i have” and then quotes T.S. Eliot: "april is the cruelest month".

hello. why is he like this. why is he looking at porn and quoting poetry. is there something i'm missing.

but he finds a picture of the teacher in there (in between the sections he describes in far too much detail for my liking). things are adding up... darin is in love with mrs. kiveat. whose husband owns kiveat’s autobody...

mr. kiveat is at the sight of the accident that darin has created due to his stoplight interference, looking as if he might blow up (holding his shoulder and wincing) but no! he does not blow up. instead, it seems he had some sort of heart attack, which is maybe something electricity can do, i don't know. luckily the paramedics are already on the scene, but unluckily when they get to the defibrillator, it is dead all of a sudden. until darin comes and turns it on with his electric powers, saying he learned it from TV. very believable. /s 

mrs. kiveat is at the hospital after her husband is fried, and she spills her water, so mulder gets her a new cup. what a gentleman! if we ignore the earlier letting scully get yelled at by the sheriff and also detailed porn description. he tries to ask her some questions but she won’t answer.

so, they find this weird kid's medical records, and a few months ago he nearly died, and his blood is all weird. mulder does not know what that big medical word means, so she explains that it means he has too many electrolytes. haha another win for Doctor Mode enjoyers everywhere.

“i know it’s a leap, scully, but what if [darin's] electrolyte imbalance is somehow enabling him to generate electricity at levels much higher than normal?” <- well it is a leap. i'm glad he's self aware.

they once again try to ask him stuff, which he largely denies, but he asks if jack black had snitched on him. which he DID NOT do. they keep him in custody for a bit, and just need mrs. kiveat's testimony to maybe get him charged.

they're going to the teacher’s house, and for once, our duo waits to be told they can come in!!! i’m proud. they could tell this was an emotionally charged situation, with her husband being in the hospital and her being clearly traumatized from this evil teenage boy. he told his teacher he had “dangerous powers”- hence the earlier conversation about what he had said last night. well! if she testifies, they can certainly get him charged, right?

no. because the dumbass sheriff let the boy go. and now the teacher is gone. just after scully told her she was safe!!

jack black is turning off all the games at the arcade until darin turns them BACK on. he explains over and over again that he did not tell the FBI anything, but then Darin zaps him because he thinks he snitched. how the mighty fall…

(i just got a terrifying thought. did people think the creepy electricity kid was misunderstood and not actually evil, but rather sympathetic and hot? i pray this was not the case. nevertheless, i need to know. chime in if you're an expert on this fanbase)

back at the hospital, the power is going in and out, and a dead jack black is placed in the elevator. just to be really spooky, i suppose. it is time to secure the exits. i made a note that i felt mulder would be zapped here, but luckily he was not.

darin is prowling about the hospital, looking for the teacher, and scully has him at gun point. despite telling him not to move, he keeps moving, and i'm thinking, girl i know you don’t want to shoot a kid but he’s like Bakugo or something so we might have to make some hard calls here.

the teacher goes with him for some reason and scully is really horrified as he like. grabs her??? walks out holding her hand??? and he is talking about seeing through her dress and taking her anywhere she wants to go. somehow thinking that this is reciprocated and totally normal.

that is, until the sheriff pulls up, and she runs. mulder snatched her around the corner and keeps her safe. so darin's screaming about giving her anything she wanted. 

he is STILL screaming, getting himself struck by lightning, and he knocked the sheriff out. so he’s laying in the ground and twitching while the agents roll up and somehow get him into a hospital??

where we learned HE KILLED THE SHERIFF??? 

so the tests came back and he had nothing unusual. behind the door at the hospital, he watches the screen and changes the channel.

um. okay.

i’m not particularly drawn to creepy men manipulating women and listening to songs about using the bathroom so. i didn’t find this fellow particularly compelling. in fact i rather despised him, for he reminded me of people i went to school with, in a certain manner. interesting follow-up to the last 3 episodes which felt so carefully woven together. yeah, the creepy kid fries people. get with the program. 

i also don’t enjoy watching men like the sheriff be condescending to scully. i guess he got his comeuppance (died) but still. there was no real narrative reason for him to be as big of a loser as he was. i thought maybe darin was his flop son, but seems not. 

overall, this episode was not my favorite. i didn't viscerally hate it like the past episodes i have found too jarring to even give a full walkthrough or anything, but it was a strange jump from how tight that last 3 episode arc felt. i hated darin. i normally find a few cute moments, but i'm drawing a blank on any today, beyond scully being able to identify a shoe size and mulder being impressed before learning it was literally on the bottom of the shoe. if that was intended as a sexual innuendo, it's much funnier to image otherwise. but i guess we did get scully in sunglasses, so i can't complain.

the real winner here is jack black.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about fallout 4 against my will

[backlogbooks]

finished coup de grace by sophia ajram, and I don't know if "enjoyed" is the right word for this because it's a very heavy book, but I'm glad I read it and i'm going to be thinking about it for a long while. The ending absolutely sold me on the book though--I've seen people who hated it, and while like, I can technically see their point, I think it was the absolute right ending for the book.

it is a book about depression and suicide (I think someone described it as a meditation on those things, which is probably the most accurate description), so definitely check in with yourself before reading

[ourceliumnetwork]

apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.

[wheucto]

finally decided to start watching s2e17 of ii

[rubys-domain]

thinking about how chongyun's specialty is a variation on noodles with mountain delicacies, which is a li cuisine dish. kind of ironic since from how xi'er describes li cuisine, it's the farthest thing from the kind of food he would eat. but he is from the mountains (presumably, if we're to assume the tianheng thaumaturges live somewhere around mt. tianheng — i actually don't know where they live exactly on the map and it's driving me insane) and the aforementioned "mountain delicacies" is a signature of li cuisine.

also i think it's hilarious that his favorite food is actually inazuman cuisine. with imported ingredients, even. surely this guy's gotta be loaded with cash to eat imported food from inazuma of all places on a presumably semi-regular basis at least based on his voice-overs. i mean yeah liyue is technically the closest nation to inazuma (as of sumeru's release anyway; future updates might surprise us), but they're still pretty far apart. the transport fee for that stuff's gotta hike the price up significantly. (makes sense if the tianheng thaumaturges made bank with their exorcism services. and they've been in the biz for a long time apparently. chong not accepting payment is because on some level he probably doesn't think he deserves to get paid because he never actually gets to do any exorcising himself — it's always his yang constitution that does all the work. coupled with how there aren't any indications that he ever goes hungry, we can assume that he doesn't need to get paid to procure food and all that kind of stuff. ergo he has a pretty cushy home life.)

in contrast, xingqiu's specialty is a variation on a yue-style dish. he does say that he likes yue cuisine. fitting considering he's from the feiyun commerce guild. which is in liyue harbor. and xi'er says yue cuisine is "heavily seafood-based."

yeah that's all well and good. but when i think about how if you put "li" and "yue" together a la ppap then you obviously get "liyue," and how the mountains and the sea are both basically integral parts of the nation's identity (imo anyway) and how this is being referenced with these two boys specifically... well.

in conclusion, they were meant to be lmao

[tvrningout-a]

good evening dash!! i feel more like myself and ofc my first instinct is to write angst so :' )

[anendtopursuit]

damn . internalised ableism got hands

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

.

[imissthefire]

the forging bonds supports omfg 🥺

[leatherbookmark]

hopping around different blogs is fun.

a post on blog 1: i find it a little weird that -- don't get me wrong, the barbie movie looks great with all the doll-like details, i bet the actors had great fun and i'd like to see it myself, but -- people are getting excited about marketing of this movie. they're acting as though mattel's 3985* deals with 837* different companies are something new, exciting and creative instead of... 3985 deals with 837 companies spanning many different areas! this movie is a commercial for a doll! isn't this kinda weird?

*numbers made up

a post on blog 2: i don't think any sane adult doesn't realize that this is a toy commercial! it's rather obvious.

a post on blog 3: boo hoo 'the barbie movie is capitalist propaganda' i don't give a SHIT marx won't fuck you. did you do this for transformers too? do you think only stupid girls who like pink need the reminder?

like, oooooh! things are happening!

[teenagefeeling]

love love love waking up at 3 am with incredibly painful nausea

[noxtivagus]

i've been less shy lately so damn i realized how. idk how to say it. wait

[artemisdesari-blog]

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.