#and it wasnt set by default

[krysteena]

random fun debian fact for tonight, if you got a .deb file and it won't install when you open it (or it shows what's inside instead), right click on it, go to properties => open with => select "Software install"

[kusanagihaku]

niche content but tier list of ghouls as clinicians (any patient-facing healthcare role)

sorry yuri but you'd fail viva

[mamawasatesttube]

impressive. just looked at the timkon tag on ao3 and not one fic on the front page today is actually about timkon.

[weirderscience]

apparently i have been running my graphics card without a fan control override for over a year and thats why its been acting up so bad

[technicolorxsn]

shes so beautiful......

[chrimsone]

i needed an Arc Logic for Reasons and in between Momentum matches i was taking a look at shaders. anyways

So Polycarbon Powder straight up makes the funny wrappings look like theyre covered in glitter. my Hunter went to a craft store, bought every bottle of red glitter in stock and slapped it on this rifle. i love it

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[charliethemanticore]

.

[cottageivy]

updated my resources page finally lol.

i didnt feel like trying to narrow down the presets i use tonight (except for the zerbu ones but i think those are broken rn) and i just said the creators i use for the sliders for now, but i will probably go back and update it...maybe

[crimeronan]

quick dunmeshi thoughts now that it's been a few hours since i finished the manga:

chilchuck good. love a bitch.

i was hoping i'd have a new popular femslash ship i can write for but unfortunately the yuris are too sweet and fluffy for me. i need my sapphics to try to kill each other at least once :(

similarly: marcille did great being unhinged within the constraints of the genre but baby girl i wanna see you in a yellowjackets type setting SO BAD. set marcille free in an adult drama where she can do true atrocities. FOLDED TOO FAST GIRLIE I BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITY TO SUCCUMB TO DARKNESSSSS DONT LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS!! DONT BELIEVE IN LOVE!!! DONT HAVE A POIGNANT MOMENT OF EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ACCEPTANCE!! DONT COME TO TERMS WITH GRIEF!!!! DONT LET THEM CONVINCE YOU NOT TO DO ATROCITIES YOU ARE SO POWERFUL AND CAPABLE OF RUINING EVERYTHING FOREVER!!!!!!

wasn't attracted to laios except for in one single scene.

it was the one where he suffocated falin.

we're not going to unpack this.

izutsumi would be a blorbo if she wasnt just straight-up me.

as is though so many of her lines are things i have directly said aloud in real life conversation that i spent the whole time going "well. this is freaking me out."

kabru is an icon. love guys who play 3d chess

come to think of it, i'm pretty sure his relationship with mithrun is the only one that had any emotional impact on me whatsoever. cunt who can't feel dick about shit x bitch who's pissed off about it 5EVAAAAA

i still default to snack packs of cheez its and goldfish crackers to replace the meals i don't wanna cook. an entire 100-chapter manga about the love of cooking and eating has done nothing to improve my outlook on cooking and eating.

sorry senshi. :(

[rottenpumpkin13]

I think the biggest factor re: Seph being the only one who broke down so spectacularly is that he actually had the power to back it up.

Everything about how he was raised, what was done to him, and the perfect storm of Nibelheim just lined up perfectly with the fact that he actually had the power to back up his breakdown.

Like no one else is as strong as Sephiroth. Other characters whos only major kneejerk problem solving skill (violence) simply do not have his firepower. He has the magic, he has the physical power, he has the skill.

The games have power creep and all so its hard to see this, but Sephiroth in the lore was just totally unmatched except for Cloud in terms of what a single person could do. Zack is crazy strong, and Sephiroth had to have been sleep deprived and not eating for a week and mentally compromised for Zack and Cloud to just barely win and nearly die in the process.

Sephiroth has the biggest rampage because he has the tools to do it in a way that any of the other people on a violent mental breakdown bender simply do not.

I dont think, strictly speaking, the reason why he broke down like that specifically was simply because he was always destined to do so - I dont think he was destined to always go evil- but it was 100% only a matter of time before he simply couldnt take the strain of everything and had a serious mental breakdown of some kind. Eventually the untreated trauma just piles up so much you cant function anymore.

He didnt have to have chosen violence as his method of mental breakdown, but with the situation as it was, that is what he landed on. He could have just as easily chosen to take his own life or made a beeline for the brass and killed them all instead given other circumstances.

Without Jenova whispering in his ear, he probably would have chosen one of those, I think. In even fairly well adjusted people irl, discovering what unnecessary violating medical atrocities were done to you as a child secondhand off your medical records is often incredibly harrowing.

Theres just so many layers to why Sephiroth snapped and why Sephiroth behaved like that beforehand.

When characterizing him, I feel like people really undersell and underestimate what chronic trauma starting from childhood does to your sense of self, decisionmaking skills, emotional regulation, and ability to cope with shock.

Like without the way he was raised, he would simply not be the same person. Chronic childhood trauma becomes your sense of self when you experience it because your sense of self was forming when you were put through all of that. Its baked into your bones and how your brain is wired.

A Sephiroth who was raised in a loving family that wasnt medically violated or stuck in a lab or trained as a child soldier and set loose in war and put up as a carefully cultivated symbol would simply be unrecognizable. He would not act the same, he would not have the same preferences, he would not have the same insecurities or instability. He wouldnt be recognizably Sephiroth- not just because no cat eyes and white hair.

Because to be Sephiroth, he has to be incredibly traumatized by default.

Im not saying that his trauma of all the characters was the Most Awful and therefore he blew up the worst or w/e, but more that this multilayered complex trauma left Sephiroth unable to healthily cope with all the events piled on him during the events of Crisis Core.

I think the factor of how childhood trauma and continued abuse completely shapes how you respond to things as an adult is often lost in the discourse when people try to detangle Sephiroth's actions, so thank you for pointing that out.

Another thing, when talking about how Sephiroth's power is unmatched, is the Jenova cells in him (and how he later became one with Jenova) The only thing that took down Jenova was the Cetra because it/she was that powerful. So while he wasn't destined to break down, you have to admit that something was waiting to happen given what Jenova was.

[fictionfixations]

wasnt planning on making a post but im doing it now so uh

helluva boss the full moon episode (i dont remember which one it was. s2 ep8?? i think? idk)

(i just realized i said 'hazbin hotel' my bad. if i make a mistake like that uhh oops)

and yall are stolas defenders so im gonna talk about blitz (dont get me wrong i love both of them)

let me talk about it

(i dont know if i make any sense so oops)

notice how during stolas' proposal basically (cant help but see the gem as like a wedding ring ngl) blitz's eyes are shining because he cant help but hope

and then when he goes 'ohh youre just fucking with me right? this is some roleplay shit right?'

because its so incomprehensible in his mind that this is what he truly thinks it is.

anyway people have explained before about how stolas then proceeds to shut him out like being faced with blitz being in denial about it and taking it as a rejection

meanwhile blitz is like 'wait a second you were SERIOUS?'

and then hes like 'wAIT' because hes trying to understand. to comprehend that stolas was being real about it. that someone wants him. but then he doesnt have the time to think about it because stolas is leaving and he doesnt want stolas to leave

and yknow how blitz is hes kind of an asshole so then he defaults to being angry and frustrated. (i wonder if he feels like he'll only be heard by being angry and yelling. or if by being angry, by shutting people out and being the one to break it off makes blitz feel more in control. anyway-)

no but listen before this hes like 'what the fuck?' stolas leaves, blitz follows him in silence still in that confused and hella surprised state because it was so unexpected while stolas' talking about stuff

hes silent for awhile (probably trying to make sense of it while half-listening)

and then stolas is like 'thats enough to know what this is' and THEN blitz gets all angry and yelling

and inside hes just like. ..thats it? but its like. stolas is going to leave. and he doesnt want him to go. but he also doesnt know how to express that (especially with stolas having completely shut him out at this point in his own feeling, so set in the rejection without realizing that blitz hadnt actually rejected it. had been in disbelief instead of an actual no. and i get why he didnt stay to continue the conversation it just. sucks. so bad.)

("Can I get a fucking minute to think" got stuck in my head) and then blitz gets angry and blames stolas because thats whose infront of him. someone he can yell at and get angry which is so much easier then trying to decipher his feelings, or stolas' feelings. to try to understand. to be vulnerable especially in front of someone who he may like but its also complicated considering the power imbalance, or how all royals are asses so surely stolas cant be different, how its just a transactional relationship and nothing serious.

hes also saying things he doesnt necessarily mean meanwhile stolas is taking it to heart like 'this is how he really feels about me' when that isnt true (blitz is kind of just making excuses. and instead of being 'set free' as it might seem to stolas, it seems to him like stolas is just. throwing him away. getting bored of him. hes ignoring the love confession stolas just says 'i want you' PLEASE be more blunt about it oh my god theres so many wordings that i have an issue with from stolas im going to be honest.

like LISTEn he goes 'i want you'. blitz is in denial. stolas then starts to acceptance/resignment and blitz is like 'wait a fucking second'

so blitz who thought they were going to have a sexy time. suddenly gets hit with feelings out of the blue. and he doesnt do good with those. and its so incomprehensible that he doesnt believe it. and then basically stolas rejects him right after with blitz realizing 'wait you were serious?' and then gets angry like 'what? no, it can't be over. ..well fuck YOU then!' like. he kind of feels betrayed? like 'how dare you spring this feelings bullshit on me (and then LEAVE)'

also is he projecting? has he experienced something??? and i really dont think hes had the chance to properly process so he's just shoving it aside and focusing on the then and now. which is stolas leaving and dismissing him which blitz takes offence to and accuses him of being like all the other royal assholes. because he doesnt know how else to communicate. this is not to say that he isnt an asshole because he is, but id like to say that theres reasons to all of it.

ALSO ALSO. i think its less that blitz believes stolas to be like that but (besides reasoning to himself that stolas is just like all the others so he can distance himself and cut ties even if it hurts) that its because thats the position stolas has and so its what he turns to for insults. i had more to say about this part but i already forgot, oops.

and ive seen people talk about this too but stolas conversing through words while blitz converses through feelings. so its like for blitz youre not meant to listen to what hes saying but to listen to the feeling? meanwhile stolas being through words (thus probably feeling like 'i want you' is explanation enough while blitz needs more clarification then that)

and potentially with stolas being all horny around him cause haha my crush is here and hes hot and i love him and aaah making blitz think stolas just wants him because of what he can offer? (and maybe if hes never faced love that its unrecognizable? especially towards him?) a thought to go onto another time

also another thought to go down. you think after blitz realizes hes serious that hes trying to coomunicate. with the 'can i get a FUCKING moment to think'

and then his mouth goes on autopilot and starts insulting him trying to stall trying to get him to stay even if its with hurtful words because thats what hes used to thats what he does (also defaulting to anger)

just like yelling at him trying to get stolas to just stop walking. to stop turning his back on him.

and hes just running on anger at that point because he didnt get too long to process that stolas was serious so a part of him still thinks that its just. not real? and hes running off of that because again its so much easier than being vulnerable with someone

blitz has. probably been very trustful of someone, only for them to betray him and hurt him and use him so ahdishfu

also probably blitz's attempt at trying to get them to actually communicate

to get him to stop. stand still. stop leaving. stop moving. just turn around, face him, and talk. to get all their feelings out and explain. to clarify.

maybe he even wants stolas to get angry because that's what he's used to. wants him to get angry so they can get it all out there. maybe wants a part of him to feel vindicated of 'he was right, stolas was an asshole', the part of him that doesnt want to be close to anyone in fear of being hurt

..and then stolas doesn't react how blitz expects him to. (because they DONT understand each other at all! they don't interact all that much outside of sex, and stolas offering it to blitz is rejected)

blitz realizing 'wait... shit...' to wheres hes immediately brought out of his anger by stolas' words

'goodbye'

also it almost sounds like blitz is saying 'Stolas, wait I'm s-' as in 'im sorry'

realizing it wasnt going as he expected it to. that stolas really was serious. that stolas was hurt. that stolas was going to actually leave and blitz. doesnt. want that to happen. so then he. tries.

and then goes 'what the fuck' when he appears outside

and honestly sometimes a lot of relationships need space from each other to realize who they are without them. and also to realize how much they care about the other, yknow? to understand their feelings without anything else complicated thrown into the mix.

listen: blitz could go back into complete denial like 'no fuck stolas actually-'. realize he misses stolas, actually.

cause i feel like he really did try at the end only to get shut out (its a really complicated situation because ive also seen people talk about how blitz yelling could remind stolas of stella(?) i think the person he divorced)

and it could be seen as rejection of him trying to do feelings talk. which he could double down on his 'no one can love you, itll only bring you hurt' idea, or bringing other people hurt (as in his mother's death or fizz getting hurt)

but i feel like he also needs time to just realize things. to think things through instead of being faced with immediately having to respond because theyre talking face to face. immediately having to respond because stolas is leaving and if he doesnt say anything then that'll be it.

its complicated. honestly, though. i feel like its for the better for them to have this break. to rebuild their life without the transactional relationship. i just wonder how they'll get back together (daughter plotting time? maybe?)

i wonder if hell has therapy. (...but also. what if the therapists were corrupt and didnt hold any form of patient privacy???)

hh

anyway i dont know if i made sense. ive just had these thoughts stuck in my head so ive just been spewing out all the ones related to this so i could stop thinking about it

a;sp a;sp o hjavej oirhfrj

holyfuck ok

also also i have more to add

okay so you know stolas' line of 'you have no obligation to touch me or to bed me'

you know what that sounded like with loona having told blitz 'hes getting tired of you'

it sounded like stolas didnt want blitz to basically touch him anymore. which is probably blitz' interpretation of it and thus his anger of 'you think you can do this shit just because im an imp and youre a royal?' or whatever (hes not even touching the fact of the gem. its 'am i not good enough? i can do better!' because the book was the only reason in his mind why he could interact with stolas. and just. aghhh)

any more thoughts im shoving here in the future before i get more brainrot over this

[forlorn-crows]

based on stage presence i think dewdrop is way more stoic than most ppl write/characterise him.

dgmw he's absolutely a little shit and fiesty as fuck but i dont think thats his constant personality you get me??

ALSO WHILE WE'RE HERE I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT SATAN GAVE HIM NO ASS SHORT HEIGHT *AND* A SMALL DICK?

nah dew is hung and i refuse to believe otherwise (all of this is meant light hearted just in case that wasnt obvious)

~atmosghoul

im fuckin ded atmos. i support your big dick dew agenda even if i am fond of the little dick dew (but i also am going against the grain by liking little dick mountain too sooooo we even out??? idk)

he def got no ass tho. sorry ass-having dew truthers lsjflkklds (sooo sooo /lh). that boy fuckin flat as a 2x4. so is mountain. just dew in a capital font as far as body composition goes pfft

and back to the point about his personality, yes i do think he's more stoic than people write him! think of the introduction video made by ghost itself, he's described as 'the stoic one'. standing rigidly with hands behind his back. as he often does.

he can absolutely be a little shit. all of them can. but i agree, i dont think thats his default setting. he'll get a little twinkle in his eye after being quiet all day and then you know you're in trouble lol.

i think he's def more level headed than a lot of people write him to be.

[terminatedeve]

when my roommate would keep telling me how I should start wearing makeup and how badly she wanted to do my makeup and I had to pretend that I wasnt offended

Right? What disgusting, and genuinely rude and offensive behaviour. Honestly, the way in which other women enforce these obscene standards without any prompting is ridiculous. It gets on my nerves so much. All this talk about sisterhood and all that vapid motto-repeating obfuscates the reality... the way other women police your behaviour and your very existence is stifling. I'm so lucky to have found other 'outsider' women who don't just tick all the boxes and have felt the feeling of being shamed & excluded by other women. (also, how many times have I had to endure diet talk amond other women, lol, as if hating your body was also another feminine bonding ritual... I hate how I've contributed to this as a teen, but when you're an adult it's time to seriously cut it out)

This is tangential, and obviously being barefaced doesn't make you ugly (only a total moron would believe that lmao let's be honest) but an insidious way that this sentiment of ~womanhood=beauty~ manifests, is with stuff like: 'girls are all so pretty uguu', as if women can't just be fucking ugly lmfao like I understand that we are all trained by society to objectify/sexualise women and define them by their physical appearance, and from childhood we are taught to associate womanhood with beauty and sexuality, but I can assure you that ugly women exist, as invisible as they may be... and it's not somehow super progressive to just think girls are, by default naturally Pretty. Whatever ig.

Femininity gets on my nerves and I'm not even particularly unfeminine. It's insidious, and it's not even performance of femininity that bothers me in essence, it's a) acting as if it's somehow boundary-breaking for women to be feminine and b) to act as if it's somehow inherent to being a woman, as if femininity isn't a prescribed set of performances that is taught to us by society. Okay

[meatsex]

No pressure nor ill will, but as someone who has had past bad experiences with vinesauce fanartists, I'd like to know if you could possibly talk about your intent when you draw vinesauce art in such niche themes, large quantities, as well as basically drawing gore of real people. I like your art in general, but with some VS art, I don't know how to feel about it, due to the lack of insight to the author's intent, so that is all I'd like to have clarified, if possible.

im going to reply to this because you asked nicely, otherwise i wouldnt and ill say why at the end

i dont know what exactly falls in "niche theme", but these are things you will find not just in my VS art but in any kind of art i do: crossovers (vocaloid songs), parodies (shared line with crossovers), violent acts put on a comedic spotlight or in the reverse case, situations that are violent in nature but presented as comedic put through a more realistically violent light (literally see gen loss vinny anvil scene)

also see: my t/rent reznor art, my t/im and e/ric art

saying "basically drawing gore of real people" is strange, while i wont deny the definiton of gore applies to something as "blood covered person", its usually a term thats always been reserved and used for way more lethal things, like dismembering and maiming. with subjects and media that doesnt have an "established limit of how much you can put someone in a violent situation", ill top it to just drawing things like what i first mentioned, how does this judgement apply to what i draw then? let's use vlinny which seems like a good example with lots of fandom history too:

(taken from his vinesauce wiki page) "his clone flesh will dissolve", while this isnt a vinesauce licensed trademarked (tm) description of a character, but rather a fanmade one, it still applies to what makes his basis, so, therefore: drawing vlinny with melting skin is okay because this is literally something that has been established by the person who came up with it, HOWEVER, anything farther or more violent than that while could still be true to the nature of the character, is something id preferably not to draw because it would cross the boundary of what has been visibly established by the source. this would be the same as me drawing joel ripping apart a demon from doom

BUT WAIT, what about the "hereditary" drawings? ill hand you the benefit of doubt and worry for these ones, because while they are a parody of one of the main characters (dont look this up if you dont want spoilers), i cant just draw a streamer dismembered and say "well duh its okay cuz its a parody", thats not how anyone's ideals should work, but i bring up the point again of limiting myself to what i consider is fair game established by either the source or general consensus, and i have yet to see people telling me OR others leaving commentary questioning stuff like blood

the type of art i make of VS is not a specific type of art id make only of this, but rather a type of style i already do by default and just apply to the topic im fixated on at the moment, if its something that is, like i already said, considered okay to do

its obviously a very blurred line what is the "limit" and how much you can stretch it, since none of the streamers are actors in a movie full of action, or characters in a videogame put in a fantasy setting, so unless its a "character" (vlinny, genloss vinny, joel as doom) my limit will always be "just cover the guy in ketchup" because this is, to me, the okay-est limit that doesnt cross the line to "now this is just getting borderline weird", im sure for someone else the line could be the guy having a small cut in their hand, and to someone else the line could be the guy being amputated completely (if this is your line get away from me, seriously)

now, at the end, why wouldnt i have replied to this if it wasnt asked nicely? while i dont think its a bad thing to ask (i will always be very open to discussion of my art) and i dont know how long you have been here and i dont expect you to tell me, i think if you have been around long enough or did a bit of research on my socials, you can see i hate a specific type of fan of media, especially media which involves irl people, and while it isnt a catch-all to say "hey im not a weirdo!", i think it helps make clear and establish that i dont have weirdo intentions at the very least. i am sorry that you have had bad experiences with fanartists of the community in the past, i cannot say because i hadnt been there (as a fanartist at least), so i cant blame you for being wary of what you might see drawn by me, and i am glad that despite these bad experiences you could have a grounded way to ask me instead of just accusing me, so that i really appreciate. id like to think i have made my "author's intent" clear with this reply, i have tried to be as descriptive yet clear as possible, but with some people you might not be able to ever clear your mind on what their intent is, and this is just my opinion but you wont be able to go knocking on every person's door asking if they are normal or not, and id never force someone to look at my art, if they dont like it or have stopped liking it, it is absolutely okay and its their right to curate their own online experience however they like, as i have curated mine

i also feel like this is something other people might have going around in their minds, but wont ask or dont want to ask, for whatever reason, and i dont think its something id suddenly begin randomly typing about one day. especially now that id like to be less talkative in social media for personal reasons

again, i hope this is clear enough, whether you keep looking at my art or not, i again appreciate that you enjoy or enjoyed it and that you could ask this in a grounded way

(edit) something i forgot to clarify, regarding why i draw such large quantities of art: i draw very fast so i can draw a lot, and VS is my current fixation, that's about it. a lot of the art you see posted regarding that is usually warmups prior to paid or personal work

[clovis-enthusiast]

Hey Clovis, with Mother’s Day around the corner, I’m curious: are you close with your mom? Will you be celebrating with her?

(ooc: not me answering this months later 💀)

"huh, oh mother's day? that was... ah... a week ago or something, right? *yawn* yeah im close with my ma mère. my mom, i mean. i don't see her a lot physically anymore since ive got *yaaawwwnnn* counselor duties and whatnot, but i talk to her in my dreams at least once a week or so. try to at least. even just a small check-in with a nice hug is better than nothing."

"i see my dad far more often than my mom because... you know... i do be sleepin' and hypnos is actually one of the more attentive godly parents, but i grew up with my mom so she'll always have that edge though i love them both a lot."

"*yawwwnnn* oh, yeah. the other question. i asked nico to shadow travel me to see mom on mothers day. brought her some cookies the dryads made since she loves sweet stuff. also gave her a fleece tie blanket i made in arts and crafts that took me... well... approximately A Long Time to finish but she loved it and she smiled a lot and thanked me and told me she loved me and gave me a hug and *yawn* it was really nice. what was Not really nice was will badgering me and nico later because apparently will wants me to leave my cabin and go outside but when i ask nico very nicely to shadow travel me somewhere he gets all grumpy. *shrug* beggars cant be choosers."

"but yeah... yeah. i love my mom." 💙

(ooc/headcanons under the cut)

hi hi!! so i headcanon that clovis's mom was originally from france (hence his very french name) and moved to new york under the guidance of hypnos through dreams in order to get his son to camp without being too far away from his mama. his mom speaks almost solely french and very little english so clovis grew up speaking french AND english since he attended public schooling before going to camp and switching to be a year round camper after he became the head counselor of his cabin.

i imagine they are very close. his mother had to be very attentive with clovis due to his narcolepsy and hypersomnia. as a baby and toddler, it was often difficult to figure out if he needed to be fed or was sick etc. because he slept so much, and he also was slower to learn how to walk and hit other developmental milestones because of that. due to his mother speaking little to no english, as clovis got older, he often stayed by her side when he wasnt at school to help translate.

i have two ideas for what his mother does career-wise. one idea is that she works in a library which is why and where clovis obtained a ton of his knowledge about mythology aside from his dreams. the one i default to though is that she owns a small bakery (nearby a library) where she handmakes everything. clovis used to "work" there as well, usually to translate, but he grew up around his mother's baking so he is actually a very good baker! not many people know this since he's usually asleep which is a tragedy truly. now that his mom can speak and understand english a bit better and was also able to get enough funds to hire a translator once clovis became a year round camper, clovis doesnt venture down there too often. every once in a while though, he will ask for someone (usually nico) to go with him to visit his mom for a bit.

his mom has met and greatly enjoys the people he has befriended including but not limited to annabeth, nico, will, and lou ellen. she's very chatty and very generous so she often tries to convince clovis and his friends to stay for a homecooked dinner or spend the night. she also still has clovis's bedroom all set up and cozy for whenever he decides to drop by, just in case.

also, chiron actually helps clovis's mom out on the down low by allowing her to take some of the camp's strawberries for her baked goods under the agreement that she will send some over sometime which she is more than happy to do!

as stated above, i think clovis has, at the very least, weekly dream check-ins with his mom. he might not always have a lot to share but his mom adores him and listens to every word. on rare occasions, sometimes even clovis's half-siblings, his friends, or hypnos himself will stumble/be pulled into these check-ins and they'll all have a lovely lil hangout sesh.

but YEAH!! clovis loves him mama, and his mama loves him!!