#and it was fascinating — music interviews are always fascinating

[insanityisdivine]

so the reason Ace hasn't toured outside US

is because he doesn't have a passport. Get it back, please!!!!!!

[sweetest-devotion]

happy international alex turner day to those who celebrate.

[justmeinadaze]

Yin & Yang (Steddie X You)

A/N: This post got me feeling some kind of way🫠 .

Warnings: Older Daddy Eddie (Late 30s)/ Older Dom Mr. Harrington (Late 30s) & Younger Fem Sub Y/N (mid 20s)

SMUT, LOTS of dirty talk, male masturbation, fingering, talks of sharing (duh), slight innocence kink (if you squint; she's new to the dynamic), ANGST, reader deals with a rude customer and Eddie saves the day. A fight between Eddie and Y/N are mentioned.

Word Count: 4838

Donate to my Ko-Fi <3

Everyone always said Edward Munson was a rude, pretentious asshole. News outlets, websites, social media; everyone who met him briefly or not at all expressed a particular distain for him that you always found amusing when the topic came up. 

Visually, he did seem a bit aloof whenever the businessman did any kind of interview or was asked any kind of question. It was always a bit odd seeing a music producer get so much attention especially one who focused on the heavy metal scene but everyone who hated him also tended to agree that he was a genius at the craft. 

The bands he signed and prompted always hit high numbers on their respective charts making him and them a ton of extra money in the process. 

Anything you read or heard you skimmed past mostly because that wasn’t exactly your scene nor did you know anything when it came to what goes on the background of the music industry. Working at a coffee shop wasn’t extravagant or lucrative but it got you through till you could figure what actually was your scene and go from there. 

That’s how you met him. 

On a particularly rough shift, a man was screaming at you about an order that you supposedly got wrong as you tried to control the tears from spilling down your face. 

“How stupid are you?! It’s coffee not a fucking math equation. You just put the right liquid in the right cup and fucking hand it to me! It’s not that hard! Fucking moron.”

“Excuse me.” The man turned just as the handsome gentleman who addressed him hung up his phone and shoved it into his coat pocket. “I understand you’re a bit stressed but I’m going to have to ask you to stop harassing the young lady. It’s not her fault and she’s doing her best.”

“Pfft. Fuck off, douchebag. This doesn’t concern you.”

“It actually does because you couldn’t handle this situation in a quiet calm manner. You’re ruining everyone’s morning including mine. Now…either take the coffee she’s giving you or wait for her to make a new one patiently.”

The man’s fist flew but the gentleman moved out of the way, grabbing his wrist, and twisting it as he forced the man to kneel before him. 

“Ok. If this is the way you want to do this, that’s fine. Sweetheart…” When he addressed you, you immediately stood at attention ready to die for this man if he asked after what he had just done. “Can you hand me that cup there? Thank you.”, he praises, flashing you a small smile that makes you giddy. “Now, apologize to the young lady.”

“Ow, I’m sorry!”, the man cringes when his wrist is twisted a bit more. 

“Good. Take this coffee and get the fuck out of my sight. If I see you here again I won’t be so nice.”

Disregarding the Styrofoam in the gentleman’s hand, the rude customer quickly gets to his feet before running out of the store. Sighing, your hero places the coffee in front of you.

“Thank you…for defending me… He was being such an asshole.”

“Yeah, he was. It’s not your fault he didn’t order the correct thing. I can be an asshole myself but I know when and where to use it.” When you giggled, his beautiful eyes scan you over as if trying to get a read on you with the little information in front of him. 

“Are you, um, are you Edward?”, you ask as you slide him the coffee with the name scrawled across. 

Again, he glances you over and later on you would learn he was looking for recognition. Everyone he interacted with knew his name and who he was. You were the first person in years who seemed to regard him as just another stranger which fascinated him.

“I am but you can call me Eddie. That’s what my friends call me.”

“Oh. Um, we’re friends?”

“For now, but I’d like to be more whenever you’re open to it.”

Another smile stretched across his face when he noticed your own turn bright red as you blushed. 

“You don’t even know my name.”

Coyly, he leans his elbows on to your counter as his eyes stare at your chest. At first you feel self-conscious before you realize he’s looking at your name tag and you let out a tiny laugh to break the tension.

“I’m sorry, I just—”

“Do I make you nervous?” 

“A little.”

“Honest. I like that. How about this. I can pick you up after your shift today and we can start with dinner and go from there.”

“I don’t have any clothes to change into.”

“That’s ok. I think you look perfect as is and I promise when I come get you I won’t be dressed as formal.”

“O-Ok, Eddie.”

“Good. Good girl. I’ll see you tonight.”

That evening, he showed up right as the shop was about to close and when you told him it would be a few more minutes, he nodded as he patiently waited by the front door. You occasionally snuck glances at him as he browsed his phone. True to his word, he wore jeans and sneakers with a nice white button up shirt that he had rolled up to his elbows. With how he looked this morning, you imagined for him this was dressed pretty down. While his hair was slicked back when you last saw him, now his waves seemed to have a mind of their own making him seem less intimidating and quite adorable. 

Eddie asked you so many different questions about yourself, silently listening as you both ate at the restaurant he took you to. You learned fairly quickly, while he seemed like a man of few words, his body language spoke loudly. His chocolate eyes never left yours as he hung on each and every word you spoke. When you said something he found even remotely funny, his lips would flicker into a slight smirk before returning to their proper alignment. When your drink ran low, his finger would raise and a waiter would promptly run your way with a refill and as the night progressed you found his leg leaning against yours with a little sigh escaping his chest when you didn’t shy away. 

“I feel kind of selfish. I’ve been talking about myself a lot but I feel like I don’t know anything about you.”

“Honestly, sweetheart, it’s a nice reprieve. Everyone I run into knows me and my perceived reputation so to finally meet someone who doesn’t know me is a breath of fresh air.”

“Reputation…”, you repeated the word apprehensively. 

“Um, I’m kind of known as being a jerk.”

“You don’t seem like that to me.”

Eddie smiled so wide this time that his teeth came into view and you knew at that moment you’d do whatever it took to see him smile like that as much as possible. 

“Thank you for that. I can be when I need to be. In my line of work people tend to take advantage pretty early on and I wanted this industry to know I’m not someone to fuck with.”

“Do you make movies or?”

“Music. I’m a music producer for some heavy metal bands.”

“Oh wow! That’s so amazing. I would love to know more! Did you use to play?”

When he finally began to open up, hours passed like minutes and you were so entranced that you didn’t even realize the restaurant was getting ready to close. 

Eddie told you at one point he was in a band but hated the way they were cast aside for being “to generic” and “stuck in the past” so he took matters into his own hands. He bought a building and turned it into a label where he could help produce his friend’s music. He learned everything he could about production and managing, getting everything together, and essentially put Corroded Coffin on the map. 

He found that he actually loved working behind the scenes and stuck with it from that point forward. Now he’s a well-respected name in his field earning triple what he would have made as a guitarist. 

“What’s the name of the label you first opened?”

“Franklin Production; my mother’s maiden name. It seemed right because her money bought the building and she always loved music. She died when I was young.”

When his head hung, your heart broke. 

“Oh my God, Eddie. I’m so sorry.”

His mood changed in the blink of an eye as he breathily chuckled and glanced at his watch. 

“Shit, Y/N, it’s almost 1am. You have to be exhausted after your long shift today. Let me pay for our meal here and then I can take you home.”

“We’ve ordered so much food and drinks. Please let me help pay.” He paused at your comment then as his eyes met your now confused ones. “What?”

“I’ve only met one person who ever offered something like you just did and that man is my best friend.”

“I mean…it’s rude…isn’t it? It’s not fair for me to expect you to pay for everything.”

“Fuck me, baby.” Your eyelids visibly flutter at the term of endearment; coming out of his mouth with a sultry husk that made you swoon. “You’re really something special. I appreciate the offer but when you’re with me, honey, I can take care of you. It’s my pleasure quite honestly.”

You watched him pay the waiter and leave him way more than 15% before Eddie grabs your hand, leading you back to his car. 

That night he dropped you off at your apartment continuing to be the perfect gentleman as he walked you to your door and kept his hands behind his back as you slowly turned your key. Before you entered, however, you paused and hastily turned to plant a small kiss on his lips. Without waiting for a retort, you want inside and shut your door with a little giggle, watching through the peephole to see what he’d do. 

Eddie’s fingers softly brushed against his mouth as he grinned the way you enjoyed at the restaurant. 

***

You had been together now for a few months and you loved him with every fiber of your being. Eddie was extremely protective over you insisting you quit your job and move in with him. 

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you being somewhere where some fucker can belittle you and make you feel like trash. I can take care of you till you find a new job that makes you happy and people treat you with the respect you deserve.”

“Eddie, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking; I’m offering.”, he cooed as his hands cupped your cheeks. “You know how much Daddy loves looking after his pretty girl.”

The first time he called himself Daddy, you blushed and hid behind your hands making him smile as he chuckled low in his throat. 

“Have you ever called a man Daddy before?” When you giggle and curl tighter into your body, he climbed into the bed beside you and pulled you to his side. “It’s ok, sweetheart. Nothing to be embarrassed about with me. Can I show you something?”

Eddie grins when you drop your palms and show him your beautiful face. 

“Good girl.”, he praises as he takes ahold of your hand and kisses the back of it. With his eyes locked on yours, he gradually places it on the bulge in his slacks. “You feel that? Do you feel how hard I am just from being around you as is? You don’t have to do or say anything you don’t want to, princess. I’ll still be here and I’ll still want to fuck you till you can barely move.”

A smile twitched on his lips when your breathing stuttered. 

“I-I-I’ve never called anyone Daddy before or done anything that’s not…”

“Vanilla?”, he helped when your sentence stalled. “Vanilla’s ok to. Definitely a delicious flavor that can’t be disregarded. Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

Eddie leans in till his mouth is just hovering over the shell of your ear. 

“The fact that you’re so nervous and innocent to all this really fucking turns me on.”

When his cock strains a bit more against the fabric and pushes back against your hand, you can’t help but release a little whine as you push your thighs together. 

“What’s wrong, baby? Got a bit of an ache between your legs?”

“Yes.”, you breath out heavily as his palm ghosts up your thigh and his lips tenderly peck along your neck. 

“I can help with that if you want.”

“Y-Yes, Daddy, please.”

Now, you were more than comfortable especially since he was always so patient with you when it came to almost everything. Unlike your past relationships, you were genuinely surprised at how little the two of you fought if at all. Eddie was a force in his business but when you two were together he was always as accommodating as possible. The one time you ever saw his anger directed towards you was when you forgot your phone when you went on a girl’s night out with your friends. 

When you came home at 2 in the morning, he was waiting in the living room and pacing with a glass of whiskey in his hand. 

“It’s 2 in the morning, Y/N! I’ve been worried sick! You forgot your phone. What if something happened to you and you couldn’t reach me!?”

“Eddie, it’s ok! I just forgot it. I promise I’ll do better next time—”

“That’s not the point! What if there hadn’t been a next time!? I’m responsible for you!”

“I don’t know what you want me to say!! I’m sorry!!”

“You watch that fucking tone with me, little girl!”

“Oh yeah. Or what?!”

When the glass in his hand shattered into the wall behind you everything became abruptly silent. Tears stung your eyes as you grabbed the little trashcan nearby and scooted towards the mess, sinking to your knees as you collect the pieces. 

“Y/N, baby. No. No, no. Let me clean this, please.”, Eddie begged, his tone much softer than before as he kneeled beside you. 

When he tried to take the sharp items from your grasp, you angrily pulled away from him. 

“I didn’t mean to forget my phone. It was an honest mistake and you had no right screaming at me like you just did!”

“I know. You’re right, sweetheart. You are absolutely right. I just… fuck… I’m so sorry, Y/N. I love you so much and the idea of something happening to you or you getting hurt just terrifies me. I shouldn’t have reacted this way.”

Blinking up at him, your hand reaches for his own. 

“You love me?”

“Yeah, Y/N, of course. Since I met you behind that coffee counter.”

After tackling him excitedly, you beamed as you kissed his lips. 

“I love you to.”

People on the outside didn’t seem to understand why you were with him but they didn’t know him the way you did. Eddie was sweet, funny, and incredibly kind despite his hardened outer exterior. According to the man himself, the only other person who understood him the same way you did was a man you had yet to meet. 

#############

Steven Harrington was a name you knew solely due to his reputation in media. 

He was always portrayed as just another trust fund baby who was utilizing daddy’s money to do whatever he wanted. He got in trouble constantly but brushed it off with a sexy smile and a calm demeanor that made even the biggest skeptic want to trust him.

The first time Eddie mentioned him by name was after you noticed him watching one of Steve’s interviews. 

“Fucking idiot.”, he chuckled light-heartedly, turning the screen of his phone so you could watch to when you climbed into bed beside him. “This is the guy I was telling you about. Steve Harrington has been my best friend for years.”

“This is your best friend?”

When he nods, you focus on the interview in front of you.

“No, no. Trust me, that company would be crazy to sell right now in this economy. Once things bounce back it will be worth way more than it is now. Then again…if they sell I could buy it and turn it into a hotel or some s***. Go ahead than! Sell that f***er!”, he laughs making you giggle as well when his nose scrunches adorably. 

“Steve is actually a very clever business guy. People constantly underestimate him because he acts like a playboy.”

“So…he’s the yin to your yang?”

Eddie smirks down at you before kissing your forehead. 

“You could say that.”

The more your boyfriend told you about him the more you wanted to meet him. Eddie seemed to genuinely care about this person and as his girlfriend you wanted him to get to know him as well. The first time you spoke to him was after you moved in with Ed and he called to congratulate you both. 

“Hey! Are you Y/N?”

“I am.”, you grin. 

“Oh good. I don’t know what I would have done if you said no. ‘EDDIE! Some random pretty girl is in your place!’”, Steve laughed. 

“Pft. How do you know I’m pretty?”

“Because a sexy voice like yours must be inside a beautiful woman. I’m kind of jealous.”

He said it so smoothly that if you weren’t already sitting you’re sure his words would have knocked you off your feet. Your eyes glanced towards Eddie who was watching you from his spot on the couch. 

“Uh oh. Did I lose you, honey? Sorry. Sometimes I come on a bit too strong.”

“No, no. It’s ok. You just… you remind me of him.”, you exhale as you get up and walk towards your boyfriend. 

“Of who? Of Eddie? I take that as a compliment. He’s a good man.”

“Yeah he is but that’s not exactly what I meant.”

“Oh? Well then use your words, pretty girl. Who do I remind you of? I’m DYING to know.”

Eddie softly smirks as he watches your breathing stagger the same way it does when you’re intimidated by something. His ring covered fingers gently trace down your arm making you shiver. 

“Tell me.”

The two words that followed came out as a strong command that told you to obey. The contradiction of how he spoke now to how he had before made you dizzy and you desperately wanted more. 

“Daddy.”

After tossing the phone next to Eddie, you covered your face with your palms and ran up the stairs. A few moments later, the man you loved climbed into bed beside you and collected you into his arms. 

“Talk to me, baby. Remember, no matter what there’s nothing to be embaressed about, ok?” He smiled when he felt you nod against his chest. “I know Steve can be a bit much at first but he’s a good person who’s been through a lot of bullshit.”

As you sniffle, you tilt back so you could see his face. 

“I feel bad.”

“About what, sweetheart?”

“I liked the way he spoke to me. It turned me on the same way you do.”

“Ok…why does that make you feel bad?”

You shrug. “I love you.”

That makes him genuinely smile. 

“I love you to, Y/N, so much. That’s why I trust you, babe. I, um, I have a confession to make.” When you sit up to give him your full attention, he does the same. “I’ve known Steve for a long time and I trust that man with my life. I’ve told him things I’ve never told anyone and he’s done the same. You said, sweetheart, he’s the yin to my yang and you’re right. Fuck… how do I say this…”

“You want to share me?”

The innocent way you asked your question drove him insane but he pushed down the need to fuck you for the time being. 

“Kind of, yes. I…I wanted to see how you two got along and if it worked out, maybe, we could fly to go meet him and… you’d still be mine but he’d—”

“Use me.”

“Fuck, baby, you have to stop saying things like that the way you are.”, Eddie panted excitedly as he adjusted the growing bulge in his pants. 

“May I ask why? Why you would want to share me like that?”

“Of course, Y/N, you can always ask me anything. You hold the power here especially when it comes to this. I just… he’s my best friend and I want him to be happy to. In these past few months, you’ve changed my world and I just want to give him some of that. I, um, I also think…”

“Tell me, Daddy. Please.”, you beg in your tiny voice that has his eyes closing as he tries to control himself. 

“Fuck… I think it would be incredibly hot to watch you fuck him.”

You had told him you were open but apprehensive because it was all new territory for you. Both men came up with an idea to help you get acclimated to the idea. 

“Hey all. Wow, Jesus Christ Munson, you undersold your girlfriend’s beauty. Hot damn.”

You giggled as Eddie rolled his eyes at his friend who was laughing himself from his side of the computer screen. It looked like Steve had the device he was using for this facetime visit resting on his lower stomach as he leaned against the headboard of his bed looking incredibly sexy with his ruffled hair and tank top just barely covering the chest hair that littered his skin. 

Eddie had you sitting in between his own legs as he rested his head against your shoulder and his arms hugged you to him. 

“I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable. If I do at any point please just let me know and I’ll respect your boundaries.”

“You don’t make me uncomfortable but, uh, you kind of intimidate me a bit…more than Eddie did.”

“Is it because I start at 10 and go from there? Yeah, casualties of growing up in chaotic household and then starting a business where your biggest competitor is your father.”

“What DO you do? Ed said you’re an investor?”

“Kind of.  I invested in a friend’s tech company many years ago and that paid off in a big way. They make medical supplies that are high quality for a cheaper price. I’m trying to expand so we can invest in more—Pfft! Listen to me talking about all that bullshit. Let’s talk about something else.”

“No, hey! That’s amazing that you do that. My father needed supplies like that but it was so hard for him to afford stuff. You’ve probably helped so many people. What supplies has your company helped make?”

Steve blinked, sitting up straighter.

“Huh.”

“I told you.”, Eddie sings as he places a delicate kiss along your skin. 

“D-Did I do something wrong? Am I not allowed to ask him questions?”, you asked genuinely worried you crossed a line. 

“Most people, let alone women, don’t care enough to ask us things like you just did.”

“Maybe you two are spending time around the wrong people.”

“Maybe… Damn, Eddie. She’s perfect. Where did you find her because obviously I’ve been looking in the wrong places.”

“Hm. I found her in a coffee shop being yelled at by some asshole. Fucker.”, he growled before you tilted back and kissed his cheek. “It’s not just her personality either. Her body fucking drives me crazy. Even just watching her walk from the bed to the bathroom makes me so fucking hard.”

“Yeah? Your Daddy says you have sexy body. Can you show it to me?”

“Only if you’re comfortable, princess.”, Eddie whispers in your ear.

“Can you help me, Daddy?”

Nodding, he removes each item of your clothing till you were naked for the man on the screen in front of you. 

“Fuck me. I’m not just saying this, Y/N, but you’re so gorgeous.”

“Thank you.”, you groan as you lick your lips. “May I see you?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”, he smirks. 

Your whole body tingled as you watched him undress until you sucked in a sharp intake of air when his cock sprang free from his cotton confinement. 

“He’s so big.”, you murmur against Eddie’s cheek as his eyes remain downcast to focus on you. “How will it fit?”

“We’ll make fit, pretty girl. Steve and I can take care of you.”

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Little one is worried about your splitting her in half. “

“Don’t worry, honey, I’m a gentleman to. I’m not going to just shove my dick inside of you. Even if it takes hours, we can eat and finger your little pussy till she’s ready.”

“Fuck, Daddy, please.”

Aggressively, Eddie opens your legs wide putting you on display and making Steve groan. 

“Wet already and no one’s even touched you yet.”, he responded mockingly before leaning over his cock to spit on his tip and stroke himself. “How tight is she, Munson?”

You moaned loudly as Eddie inserted two of his thick fingers into your cunt and your head leaned back against him.

“So fucking tight, Harrington, and greedy. Her pussy just sucks me in and chokes my dick when she cums. Add in her sexy little noises and the way her face scrunches…” 

“Open your eyes, Y/N.” Steve smiles when you do what he asks. “Good girl. She listens to. Fuck, baby, don’t take those eyes off me. God, I’m—mmm—I’m dying to feel those pretty lips around my cock.”

“You’re really good at sucking cock, aren’t you, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes, Daddy. I’m…M’close.”

“I know, pretty girl. I can feel it. Why don’t you tell Stevie how bad you want his cum.”

You mewl as Eddie moves at a faster pace with the sound of your slick echoing around the room. 

“Please, Mr. Harrington, Sir. I-I-I want your cum so much. I want to feel you—ahhhh—feel your cock in my mouth till you spill down my throat.”

“Jesus Christ.”, he grunted and you both watched as his release hit his thigh. 

“You did so good, sweetheart. Cum for Daddy now, baby.”, Eddie praised as your back pushed against his chest and you panted as you came. “That’s my girl. Good girl. Ride it out on my fingers till you come back to me. That’s it.”

“Fucking hell. That was amazing, honey.” Steve watch with fascination as you turned your body and wrapped an arm around Eddie’s chest as you curled into his warm chest. “Everything ok?”

“She’s fine. It’s something baby girl does when she cums hard like that. She’ll squeeze me like a fucking Teddy bear and fall asleep. Sometimes it’s for a few minutes or a few hours. At first I thought it was the headspace but I don’t know. Either way I love it.”

“Yeah, man. If she had a good time and is open to it I have that party coming up in a month. You two can fly down and we can hang out. Of course, nothing has to happen. I can always just show you guys around and get to know her more.”

“I’ll let you know when she wakes up and we talk about it.”

“No problem. No problem. Hey, maybe at most, you and I can fuck around.”, Steve replies as he coyly raises his eyebrows making his friend laugh.

“Ok, calm down over there.”

“Oh, come on. Not like it would be the first time—”

“Good night, asshole.”, Eddie teases as he cuts him off and closes the laptop.

#################

“Are you alright, sweetheart?”, Eddie asks as he watches you fidget with your hands as you stare at your reflection in the metal of the elevator. 

“Yeah. I’m just a little nervous. This is your best friend and I know how much he means to you. I don’t want to…I don’t know…fuck anything up.”

“Fuck, I still think it’s hot when you get all jittery like this.”, he chuckles as he takes your palm in his. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I love you so I know for a fact he will. Just keep being your unique self, baby, and no matter what I’ll be here if you need anything.”

When he flashes you that big toothy grin, you can’t help but smile back as you lean up on your toes to kiss his lips. The doors abruptly swing open and your boyfriend’s demeanor instantly hardens at the sound of loud party guests in the room you both step into. 

Your eyes swing around the area with no sign of the host himself. 

Tugging on Eddie’s bicep, you lead him to the drink station where you desperately chug down some liquid courage as you pray that tonight goes as smoothly as possible.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Quarterfinals, Match 2

expand to see all propaganda received! (wall of text warning oh my god this is a severe cautionary message)

Lauryn Hill:

"she paved the way and was hot as fuck the whole time"

"Girl c'mon. Look at her. You're gonna try and tell me that isn't the most beautiful and attractive person alive? Okay. You're lying but okay."

"if u freaks don't give ms. lauryn hill the respect she deserves..."

"actually one of the prettiest women ever I'm such a lesbian for her. like irl I'm already a lesbian but she is helping"

Damon Albarn:

"Don’t think Damon should be here? Why don’t you get your head checked by a jumbo jet? Maybe you’ll feel heavy metal and calm down."

"If Damon is in the “some guy” category, he’s the heavenly and heartbreaking version. Damon is the sort of significant stranger I’d see on the train out of Colchester but could never speak to, just a face seen in passing yet too radiant to be real. I’d fall in love for an hour and carry the ache for a month."

"Damon sets the standard for me. I think he’s the most fascinating man alive. What I find attractive in Damon is not just his gorgeous bone structure and boyish charm, but how wholly he’s committed himself to music. Damon is an artist who walked the walk: in one of his roughest years with some of his rawest songwriting, he said he was no longer excited by anything except the creative process. He was disillusioned with the celebrity of it all, with his relationships suffering for it, and only wanted to make art: nothing more, nothing less. He would go on to compose film scores, write operas and stage musicals, produce other artists’ records, form collectives to fulfill his passion for world music, and create some of the most globally successful music of his career in a completely innovative format that placed him as the phantom behind the characters. Whenever one band takes a break, he makes a solo record or puts together a supergroup to stay busy. He’s uniquely collaborative and still writes personal letters inviting artists to record with him, and yet can function as a one-man show, acting as a multi-instrumentalist, a singer-songwriter and a producer. He’s been a constant voice of bringing British music to the world *and* bringing world music into Britain. Sure, he’s won Brit Awards and a Grammy among others, but he also has a Guinness World Record and was named an Officer of the British Empire for his services to music; his long work with Africa Express earned him respect even from peers who’d previously dismissed him, and his commitment to support his Malian collaborators in the face of violence earned him the title of Local King in Mali. There is so much talent in the world, but there is truly no one else with a career that looks like Damon Albarn’s. Damon is far more than just a prettyboy to look nice on a magazine cover, but looks are the ultimate point of this tournament, so make no mistake: he was terribly, terribly pretty. You watch him performing in the 90s, you sift through photoshoots and interviews and documentaries, and it feels *cruel* how beautiful he was. If his talent was god-given, so was his face. To put a bow on this thesis: I don’t know if Gorillaz and Damon’s musical universe would be the experimental, globe-trotting, boundary-pushing community affair it is if Blur hadn’t become such a central figure in Britpop and if Damon had not been made such a media spectacle, and I don’t know if Damon would have been that spectacle if he wasn’t so ungodly pretty. The domino effect is that Damon’s cherubic face launched a thousand multimedia art school projects for decades to come."

"I wish I was basically any bloke in the 90s so I could tongue Damon Albarn down. Damon will see a man and ask “is anyone gonna kiss that?” and not wait for a response."

"I have a pillow with his face on it. I sleep with it every night 😊"

"“I’m more homosexual than Brett Anderson, always have been. As far as bisexuality goes, I’ve had a taste of that particular fruit, or have been tasted you might say…” is just the rawest most Shakespearean statement ever"

"he is the ultimate Pretty Boy ™. his glorious golden locks, his electric blue eyes. he is if Princess Diana was a Britpop Dude. he is the Regina George of Britpop. he is if Aphrodite took male form. Zeus would come down to earth to fuck him if he knew. he is a caffeinated orange cat let loose. he is deranged. he is unhinged. you never know what will come out of his mouth. he had sexual tension with every single man who knew him. he pulled justine fucking frischmann. his aura knows no bounds. he is a siren. he is a weird guy. but being so gorgeous stunning ethereal didn't stop him from also being one of the most prolific songwriters of his generation"

"THE MAIN BLUR"

"literally where do i even begin. i could write entire essays on this man. a good place to start would be the beetlebum music video, i suppose. i'll never forget the first time i watched that music video. something in me changed, my brain chemistry was altered, my life was never the same, i view the world a lot differently now. and a lot of the viewing i'm doing is of pictures of damon albarn's face because of boy do i have a lot of those saved. every time i try to look for a photo of something on my phone i can't find it because there's so much damon. okay that's maybe an exaggeration but this man has the most unfathomable beauty ever. his eyes? HIS EYES. god dammit i love his eyes i want to stare at them until the end of time like nothing else exists. i'm so normal about this man (lying) and while i'm usually very shameless about my interests i'm actually incredibly glad this propaganda is anonymous because otherwise. yeah. but the world deserves to see damon albarn's beauty and also hear his fantastic voice because what the fuck. his voice is literally the most gorgeous sound ever produced like bro sounds like that and expects me not to fall in love? i want this man to sing his silly songs and talk absolute nonsense to me until the sun eventually blows out and the world ends. cmon damon girlies let's demolish this tournament i know there are a lot of you."

"He’s beautiful. He’s a little rat. He’s a sweetheart. He’s a dickhead. He’s a musical genius. He’s a dumb bitch. He’s a jock. He’s a weirdo. He’s real. He’s an illusion. He’s everything. He’s just Damon."

"DAMON DAMON DAMON where do I begin oh jeez I've hyperfixated on this man for a solid 4 years and still going strong. Damon makes me wish that British people are real. That says A LOT. This man created a whole ass ANIMATED BAND WITH A SHIT TON OF LORE as a SIDE HUSTLE??? Not to mention, what other man has collaborated with Stevie Nicks, MF DOOM, Del the Funky Homosapien, Snoop Dogg, AND Beck?! People, we're literally in the presence of a god. And he's STILL GOING. Anyways, TL;DR, damon is so so so neat and cool and he should definitely win this competition. Thank you."

"Okay 90s Damon is The Perfect Boy yes yes, but the people who parrot the Daily Mail and say "he's ugly now" will never understand. I would still suck every drop from him on his deathbed."

"Vote for whoever you want to. But Damon is so pretty."

"i did not spend hours admiring this beautiful man's face on pinterest just to see him lose."

"Damon Albarn just brings me joy. When I'm watching him perform, following along as the camera lingers on and adores his pretty face, I get butterflies like I'm 15 again. It's nice to still feel that totally unguarded giddiness sometimes."

"God let the intrusive thoughts win making Damon. What if he's a beautiful blond twink with eyes like saucers and dick to his knees, he reads Herman Hesse and plays footie and is insufferable about both, he'll be the most prolific musician of his generation and write operas and seminal albums in 5 different genres and also he's gonna be the dumbest bitch alive? He'll also be kinda bi, but only kinda. And send."

"when i found out about his existence, my life was changed forever. i wish i could use him like the hannah montana boot milk pillow and chuck him at the wall so he makes a loud thud"

"Think of the drama and anon fights it'll cause if Damon wins it all! And think of how quiet it'll get after Damon's out. You'll miss him when he's gone, like memories of a noisy house years after it's grown silent. Choose Damon, and keep the messy train chugging."

"Even the Gallagher brothers have the hots for him."

"Kiss kiss I love him also you can't vote for any of the Seattle men they're literally copy and paste it's not fair. We need Brit representation"

"I want to take care of him, I want to provide for him. I need to gauge his baby blue puppy dog orbs out to I can clean them with wood varnish, paint shades of Pantone 320 C in his eyes, spray eau de parfume by dior in them and sew it back into his eyes like that scene in Toy Story 2."

"Seeing as simply filling the page with ‘Damon’ written 10000000 times isn’t going to cut it 😅 may I admit/submit: I DO have him tattooed on my being (no descriptive, is this anon?); he’s inspired somewhat unhinged late night/early morning fandom conversations in which I’ve served as ‘parish’ priest hearing confessions from all manner of folk about what they’d like to do to him/receive from him; sadly I lost an essay where I detailed why the letters that make up his name suit him so well, and described him as the hot caramel sauce to Graham’s cool vanilla ice cream. He’s a faerie princess with a nose that makes people weep and a voice that feels like the warmest home and he gives amazing hugs. He loves trains and chickens and his tuxedo cat. He’s annoying and sweet and somewhat unhinged and his music saves people and all this is on top of that fantastic dick. He’s a dream yet very real and we’re fucking blessed to be on earth at the same time as him, amen"

"Damon Albarn was a beautiful, beautiful boy. The world saw that, regardless of if every individual reading this has the same taste in men; it felt like a truth of the universe at the time. They don't make celebrities that angelic in face and erratic in personality anymore."

"I need to touch his eyebrows, nose and prostate just one time JUST ONE TIME COME ON"

[larissasgirl]

Green-eyed monster

My obsession with Larissa Weems is back, so you're getting a "You look beautiful with my lipstick all over you face" story 👀 I'm sorry if there's any mistakes, I did tried to reread as best as I could 👉👈

Larissa was not the jealous type, and even less the type to fall this quickly. She had devoted her life to her career, as keeping her students and staff safe was always her priority. She was the kind of person that would make an auditorium go silent as soon as she stepped a foot in it, the one who radiated confidence even through the worst crisis. And yet, she found herself in the corner of the gymnasium at the Rave’N, her arms crossed and her jaw clenched as she watched another teacher being way too close to you to her liking. 

Truth to be told, you had always fascinated Larissa. The first day she had interviewed you, she barely asked you any questions, as your answers were already everything she could wish for a first year teacher. When she had hired you, the smile you gave her right then would have made her knees go weak if she wasn’t sitting already. She had done everything in her power to see the same smile again through the years you had worked together, the kind of one that lights up the whole room and made her forget about the world around her. Her affection towards you slowly took another turn, as she began by popping up in your classroom to invite you for lunch, that slowly turned into dinner invitations to late nights drinking wine in her office when everybody had gone to their rooms. Truth to be told, she was head over heels in love with you, but she was too afraid to ruin your professional relationship, your friendship.

And as the Rave’N approached, she wished nothing more than invite you to attend the dance with her, but the fear of rejection paralyzed her. In her heart, she was praying you’d make the first step, but shook her head every time at such an absurd thought, as she was sure you didn’t feel the same way she did. 

And here she was, at a dance full of teenagers she was supposed to watch over, if only her eyes would be able to leave your figure. You had decided to wear a simple black dress that reached your feet, and Larissa forgot how to breathe when she had noticed the slit on your left side, exposing your leg everytime you’d take a step forward. She had also chuckled when she had noticed that you were wearing your typical Nike shoes, remembering that you hated heels from one of your late-night conversation in her office. Larissa uncrossed her arms to flatten the invisible wrinkles on her dress, an attempt to distract herself from the fire burning inside her stomach. She had opted for a golden dress that reached below her knees, the long sleeves covering her arms in a final attempt to remain professional. She had put thoughts into it, opting for something out of her regular style to impress you, but not daring to exceed the limit as she was still the principal. She huffed as she noticed you smiling at the other teacher, one she was truly never fond of considering her very obvious advances on you. Except you never seemed to notice, as you’d always smile back at her politely and keep up with whatever conversation she was trying to have with you. Larissa was not a jealous woman, but tonight, she was boiling inside. 

She finally decided she had enough and walked up to you, her heels echoing despite the loud music playing. You raised your eyes and met hers, smiling at her in a way you only did when you noticed her presence close to you, not bothering to listen to your coworker anymore. She seemed to realize something had caught your attention and she followed your gaze, seeing the principal making her way to you, quickly mumbling she’d see you later as the older woman finally reached you. You chucked, knowing how intimidating Larissa could be. But not with you. Never with you.

“Hi,” she beamed at you, placing herself in front of you. She noticed the way the dress hugged every curve of your body, as her eyes made their way to your exposed leg, making her bite her lip involuntarily. “You look marvelous tonight, darling,” she said, her eyes making their way back to yours, only to catch you doing the same, watching every inch of her body, your cheeks colored in a soft shade of pink at her words. You had noticed how she only used pet names with you, something that made your heart skip a beat every time, and tonight was no exception.

“Thank you,” you breathed out, an attempt to regulate your heartbeat at the compliment. “You look incredible Larissa,” the twinkle in your eyes not having gone unnoticed by the principal, who’s anger was immediately forgotten as her attention was solely on you. 

She smiled at you softly, her cheeks now matching the color of yours. You watched her in awe, fighting the urge to touch her, to reach for her hands, to have any kind of contact with her. She was truly the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. You always craved being near her, to a point where she clouded every thought you had. You had often wondered if her lips were as soft as they seemed. She was everything you had ever looked for in someone, intelligent, brave, kind, patient. You had wanted to ask her to the dance, and God knows you had tried. Every time you had faced her about to do so, you had choked on your words, changing topic as if nothing had happened. And defeated, you had decided to let it be. 

“They certainly did a good job,” she got you out of your head as she raised her hand to gesture to the room, where you noticed Wednesday doing a strange dance that made you chuckle. 

“They did, I’m so happy they’re finally having fun and getting a chance to unwind after all the craziness that happened,” you confessed, staring into her blue orbs once again.

“Are you having fun?” she questioned, taking a step forward to hear you better, the music blasting louder than before making it difficult to hear your voice. She wanted to hear your voice. 

“I am now that you’re here.” You tilted your head to the side. “I was looking forward seeing you”, you confessed, unable to keep this information for yourself any longer. Surely, Larissa had to know she was the only person you wanted to spend time with in the crowd, she deserved to know, to be reminded.

She took a step forward, her face incredibly close to yours as she put her hands on your shoulders, making you melt at the contact. Her perfume made you feel dizzy and you breathed it in, the smell just so Larissa. “Do you wanna step out a moment? It’s getting too loud,” she said in your ear, and you missed the contact of her hands on your body as soon as she stepped away, only being able to nod in agreement.

Larissa turned on her heels towards the door, looking back to make sure you were following. She noticed the same teacher that was talking to you earlier standing by the door, fire coming back to her eyes as she announced to her that she was stepping out a moment and to keep an eye on the room. The other woman’s eyes had widened as she noticed the principal approach, only to quickly nod before stepping further into the room, disappearing from your view. The background noise seemed further away as soon as the doors closed behind you, feeling like a relief to your ears. You followed Larissa to her office, entering behind her as she held the door open for you, making you blush once again. You had never been treated this way before, never had anyone holding a door for you, and for some, the small gesture would have gone unnoticed, but not to you. And even if she was doing it simply out of kindness, or so you thought, it was still enough to make the blood rise to your cheeks.

She opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of red wine and two glasses, expertly opening it and handing you a half-full glass. You thank her before sitting on the couch, Larissa following your movements and sitting next to you. 

“It’s nice to get some quiet,” you broke the silence, pulling the glass to your lips, tension leaving your shoulders at the contact of the liquid. “It feels so comfortable being here with you”, you continued before kicking off your shoes and crossing your legs, exposing the skin of your tight. 

Larissa eyes never left the new exposed skin, smiling at your childish gesture at first only to find herself completely hypnotized with this part of your body she had never seen before. 

“Like was you see?” you teased her, taking another sip of wine. This seemed to snap her out of her trance, raising her gaze to meets yours only to find a smirk playing on your lips. The liquid seemed to give you the bravery you didn’t have before, and the looks Larissa kept giving you since she had first approached you in the gymnasium certainly helped with the turmoil of uncertainty you were feeling inside.

“What if I do?” She took a sip as well, her answer almost daring you to continue. Truly, you were taken by surprise, and a little spark of hope light up in your heart at her words. You had noticed the way she was looking at you when your coworker was talking to you. You had never seen that look before, it almost looked like she was angry. But maybe you were mistaken, you soon realized. Was she.. jealous?

You raised your hand and reached for a loose curl that had freed itself from her complicated updo, brushing it behind her ear. The contact of your fingers on her skin made her shiver, and you heard her whimper softly when you retreated your hand back. You put your glass on the decorative table in front of you, moving forward to grab hers out of her hand and doing the same. You sat back closer to her than before, the exposed skin of your leg brushing against her own. 

“Then I’d say like what I see just as much,” noticing the way her breath caught in her throat. Her eyes flickered to your lips for a second, her heart being so fast in her chest that she was sure you could hear it too. Except that yours was beating just as fast, and the room suddenly seemed a lot warmer than it was seconds ago.

“Then we have to do something about that,” she whispered, as she forced herself to look away from your lips, only to find your pupils completely blown, focused on her own lips before meeting hers. And she was sure her own eyes mirrored yours, craving to feel you against her, to have your lips on hers. Her hand gently cupped your cheek, watching your reaction as she leaned forward, for any sign you didn’t want it, giving you time to move back if it was the case. But you didn’t, your attention now back on her lips as your hands found their way to her waist, pulling on the fabric of her dress slightly as you met her halfway.

Her body pressed against yours, holding you impossibly close to her, her free hand moving to the back of your head in an attempt to pull you even closer, which was impossible considering the angle you were in. It was the softest, most loving kiss you had ever received in your life, and yet, it was full of passion, of repressed emotions that could finally come to light. Nothing mattered except her in that moment, loosing yourself in the kiss you had craved for so long. She pushed you backward, your back hitting the soft couch as her lips never left yours, taking advantage of the new space she had created by straddling you. You couldn’t feel anything but the weight of her body on yours, how perfectly it fit. She only pulled away when her lungs were screaming for air, resting her forehead against yours with no indication to move away from you. 

“Wow,” was all you could breathe out as you tried to catch your breath, your eyes still close. A soft smile was playing on your lips as your hands holding Larissa’s waist firmly into place hinted her that you wanted her just as close and she did. Your mind was trying to process was had just happened when she kissed you again, this time only lasting a few seconds, her thumbs softly stroking the sides of your cheeks. 

“Wow indeed,” she smiled against your lips, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while”, you confessed, brushing your nose against hers, not daring to move, not ready to pop the little bubble you had just created. 

“So did I, sweetheart. And we can do it again, and again, and again,” you giggled as she kissed you every single time she pronounced the word. This was probably what heaven felt like, being in Larissa’s arms, being able to kiss her so freely. Her brows suddenly furrowed, making your smile fade as you noticed the turmoil that seemed to have taken place inside her head.

“Rissa?” you questioned, her features softening as she noticed the uncertainty painted on your face. 

“It’s nothing bad darling. Well, kind of, because we have to go back to the dance”, she groaned, tension leaving your body at once and you giggled when she hid her face in the crook of your neck, her breath tickling your skin. “I promise you we’ll finish what we started after, as I’m not done kissing you yet”. 

She raised her head from her new favorite place to hide and sat down, immediately missing your warmth. She extended her arm so you’d grab her hand and sit down next to her. She handed you your shoes, sending her a grateful smile as you quickly put them back on before standing up next to her, facing each other once again. “You look beautiful with my lipstick all over your face”, she teased as she used her thumb to wipe the excess her kisses had left on you, making you blush as you did the same, even though it wasn’t so smuggled on her. She opened the door for you once again, your health melting at how thoughtful she was, your mind spiraling in a bliss you had never experienced before.

“Maybe I should start wearing heels,” you whispered under your breath, as she seemed so much taller than you now that you wanted to reconnect your lips to hers, making her chuckle softly. She led you to the doors of the Rave’N once again, her hand never leaving yours. The loud music didn't seemed to bother you as much as before, your mind being completely elsewhere. As you passed in front of your coworker, you noticed her attention focused on your joint hands, Larissa’s grip tightened on your hand before you poked her side, making her try to move away to the side giggling, and you mentally noted that she was ticklish for later on. “No need to be jealous, I was always yours,” you told her, her features softening, the smile you gave her leaving no doubt to it.

[lecsainz]

Hi can you do some charles headcanons dating a emo girl (and she plays bass in a emo band)

SHE MAKES SONGS

˒ ⌕ masterlist . . .

parings: charles leclerc x emo!reader

an: I loved writing that! I was a bit scared of getting something wrong, so I didn't delve too deep into it.

summary: the one where you are a bassist in an emo band and date charles.

Charles loves when you play the bass. He finds the emo tunes you create both fascinating and alluring. The way your fingers dance over the strings makes him appreciate your talent even more.

You both complement each other in a unique way. Charles with his racing attire and you with your emo style; it's an unexpected but intriguing contrast that draws attention and makes people curious about your relationship.

Charles adores calling you by sweet nicknames in French, like "Mon Trésor" my treasure, "Ma Belle" my beauty, or "Mon Coeur" my heart . Hearing these terms of endearment from him makes your heart flutter every time.

Despite being at your gigs, you always manage to keep tabs on Charles's races. During breaks between songs, you discreetly ask someone from your band's crew for updates on your boyfriend's race position. Charles finds it adorable and loves that you're always keeping track, no matter where you are.

Charles loves brainstorming with you for new songs. He's always there to bounce ideas off, offering a fresh perspective and helping you fine-tune your creations.

Sometimes, during interviews or public appearances, Charles subtly mentions your band or a particular song, expressing his admiration for your talent.

"Ah, well, you know, I've got to say, my girlfriend is an incredible musician. She plays bass in her band, and honestly, she's amazing. The way she pours her heart and soul into her music—it's something else. I'm really proud of her. I mean, I know I'm probably going on about her, but it's hard not to when you're so impressed by someone's talent, you know?" smirks "She's got this way of captivating the audience with her passion for music that's just... it's something special. And yeah, I think I'm a pretty lucky guy to have her in my life, both as an incredibly talented musician and as my partner." grins "Sorry, got a bit carried away there, but I can't help it. She's just that good."

He absolutely adores it when you pick up your bass and play just for him. Your private jam sessions, where you perform songs specially dedicated to him, become treasured moments between you both.

Charles loves it when you share your new compositions with him first, feeling honored to be the primary listener and your biggest supporter.

There have been a few secret moments where Charles has joined you on stage, playing a simple melody on the piano while you perform. It's a beautiful surprise for the audience.

Charles is your biggest fan at your band's performance. He proudly attends your shows and, to your surprise and delight, wears a shirt emblazoned with "My Hot Bassist Girlfriend" in the front row. His unwavering support and cheering from the crowd make your performances even more special.

He frequently plays your band's songs in the Ferrari garage, showing immense pride in your musical talent.

One day, Charles surprises you by gifting one of his favorite bracelets, a piece he hardly takes off. He expresses that he wants you to have something of his close to you, a sign of his deep affection and trust.

On race days, you proudly wear Ferrari-themed outfits but add your personal touch, incorporating elements that reflect your own style. Charles appreciates the gesture, feeling a sense of unity when he sees you in his team's colors.

[fanhackers]

Anne Kustritz’s Identity, Community, and Sexuality in Slash Fan Fiction

Anne Kustritz’s new book, Identity, Community, and Sexuality in Slash Fan Fiction: Pocket Publics has just been released by Routledge (2024).  You might know Kustritz, a scholar of fan cultures and transmedia storytelling, from her early essay “Slashing the Romance Narrative,” in the Journal of American Culture (2003) or maybe from some of her more recent work on transmedia and serial storytelling. But this new book is an exciting addition to the fan studies canon, and Fanhackers readers might be particularly interested, because the book “explores slash fan fiction communities during the pivotal years of the late 1990s and the early 2000s as the practice transitioned from print to digital circulation,”--which is the era that a lot of the fans involved in the creation of the OTW came from. As I noted in my book blurb, “​​While there has been an explosion of fan studies scholarship in the last two decades, we haven't had an ethnography of fan fiction communities since the early 1990s. Kustritz's Pocket Publics rectifies that, documenting the generation of slash fans who built much of fandom's infrastructure and many of its community spaces, both on and off the internet. This generation has had an outsized impact on contemporary fan cultures, and Kustritz shows how these fans created an alternative and subcultural public sphere: a world of their own.”

Kustritz doesn’t just analyze and contextualize fandom, she also describes her own experiences as a participant-observer, and these might resonate with a lot of fans (especially Fanhackers-reading fans!)  Early on in the book, Kustritz describes her how her own early interest in fandom blurred between the personal and the academic:

Because I began studying slash only a year after discovering fandom on-line, my interest has always been an intricate tangle of pleasure in the texts themselves, connection to brilliantly creative women, and fascination with intersections between fan activities and academic theory.  I may now disclaim my academic identity as an interdisciplinary scholar with concentrations in media anthropology and cultural studies and begin to pinpoint my fan identity as a bifictional multifandom media fan; however, I only gradually became aware of and personally invested in these categories as I grew into them.  This section defines the scope of the online observation period that preceded the active interview phase of this research.  In so doing it also examines the messy interconnections between my academic and fannish interests and identities. Trying to pick apart what portion of my choices derived from fannish pleasure and which from academic interest helps to identify the basic internal tensions and categories that slash fan fiction communities relied upon to define themselves, the pressures exerted upon these systems by the digital migration, and complications in academic translation of fannish social structures.

Later in the book, Kustritz discusses how fans have organized and advocated for themselves as a public; in particular, there’s a fascinating chapter about the ways in which fandom has adopted and transformed the figure of the pirate to forge new ways of thinking about copyright and authorship.  If the OTW was formed to argue that making fanworks is a legitimate activity, the figure of the pirate signifies a protest against the law and a refusal to be shamed by it: 

[F]ans also use the figure of the pirate to make arguments that validate some fan activities and consign others to illegitimacy.   At the urging of several friends involved with slash, I attended my first non-slash focused science fiction and fantasy convention in the summer of 2004.  The program schedule announced a Sunday morning panel discussion provocatively titled “Avast, Matey: The Ethics of Pirating Movies, Music, and Software” with the subheading “Computers today can distribute [more] intellectual property than ever before--not always legally. Is it ever okay to copy, download, and/or distribute media? Sorry, ladies, none of us will be dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow.”  The panel’s subheading, which obliquely warned away both lusty women and pirates, led a small contingent of slash fans to shake off Saturday night’s convention revelries unreasonably early and implement a plan of their own for Sunday’s panel.  As many fan conventions encourage costumes, known as “cosplay,” one of my friends and research participants happened to have been dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean that weekend, so I entered the piracy panel with Captain Jack and a motley crew of slashers, some of them intent upon commandeering the discussion.

The clash that followed exemplifies a structural fault line between various types of fan communities regarding their shared norms and beliefs about copyright law, the relationship between fans and producers, and appropriate fan behavior.

If you want to find out how this clash played out–well, you’ll just have to read the book. 😀

–Francesca Coppa, Fanhackers volunteer

[goodnightoilcountry]

you must like me for me - quinn hughes (a sneak peek !)

a/n: another fic idea i've had in my head for ages ! i started writing it the other day when i was sick and it's currently at 3k words. i'm CONFIDENT that i'll smash this one out quicker than my aho fic so it's the only reason i feel like i can post a sneak peak. but also let me know if you have any requests or ideas you'd like me to write about - i'd love to hear from you 🤍

summary: twelve months since the incident and you're ready to let yourself re-emerge into the public eye in the form of a hockey game. the plan was simple: appear, smile, leave unscathed. easy, right?

The theory of fight or flight has always fascinated you. In the face of adversity, no matter how complex the situation, millions of years of evolution still dictate that humanity will always revert to its oldest survival mechanism: to either assert and neutralize, or: evade and withdraw. 

What you’ve come to learn is that there’s a third strategy nestled between fight or flight, often overlooked because of its passiveness in comparison to its overt counterparts: to freeze. 

And that’s the instinct you’ve found yourself falling back on time and time again. As if you’re hoping to blend into the very fabric of the environment where you can pause amid the chaos, weigh the risks, and soundly determine the best course of action. 

The downturn? 

You’re left vulnerable and exposed the longer you wait. 

But it’s a tactic that you’ve grown familiar with, and it’s the one that’s currently in motion. 

“You can’t do this to her, she isn’t ready.”

“It’s been over a year, we can’t let her hide forever.” 

The commotion of voices being thrown around surrounds you but you’re too swept up with the memories and emotions battling out in your head. They’re leaving you dizzy and disorientated. 

One year. Had it really been that long? God. It feels like one month since you first signed your contract in front of a roomful of lawyers and high-powered executives. Back then, you were too naively charmed by the golden promises of stardom and fame that they were selling you. Promising that your talent for lyricism, bordering on poetry, would resonate with the hearts of girls who all seemed to unanimously share the parallel experiences of all things love and girlhood. That you needed a team that could provide you with the right connections and the right opportunities to get you there. 

And to their credit, they didn’t fail you. As soon as you signed your contract, the label had you in the studio effective immediately with the release of “your” song debuting four weeks later. 

“But I didn’t write this and it doesn’t really sound like me…” 

“Don’t worry about it, honey. We just need to get you on the charts and then you can write about anything you want. Trust us - this is how it all works.” 

And trust them you did.

Your song topped the charts for twelve consecutive weeks. The events that took place after your overnight success were a whirlwind. You released a music video. You did media interviews. You collabed with DJs to release remixes. You performed as a guest on endless TV shows. And when you were done, you thought that you would finally be able to sit down with your producers to start developing the library of ideas and single-line lyrics you had swimming around in your head. 

But they had other plans for you in the form of a studio album, and then rinse and repeat. You felt like you were a human cannonball: shot out, forced to perform carefully curated tricks, and to always stick the landing. 

Your team had done everything they could to meticulously craft your image; selectively allowing journalists to access certain stories whether it be about your work or your life. You were America’s Darling. Until you weren’t. 

A sharp trill of your name grounds you back into reality. You blink and recompose yourself, finding the same four people you entered the boardroom with, staring expectantly back at you. Your mom, your manager, Megan, your publicist, Bec, and sat opposite you across the insanely large table is the VP of your label, Joe. Their expressions are ones you’ve grown used to: sympathetic and slightly defeated.  

“Sorry, what was the question?” 

Megan sighs and shifts slightly in her chair to meet your front. “Darling, I know how hard this year has been for you,” 

Do you? 

“But it’s time for us to come back out. We need to face this.” 

In all the years you’ve worked with Megan, she has never offered you such softness in her voice as she has now. As a manager, a female manager in this industry nonetheless, she had been nothing short of headstrong, sharp, and commanding. Her confidence and demeanour never wavered and, if you were being honest, you were thankful that she held you to the same standard as the rest of your team. It equipped you with a thick skin, something that you wouldn’t have survived your young career without. And it leaves you to wonder where you would be now without her to guide you through this situation. 

“Megan is right,” Joe says. “The world hasn’t forgotten, you know.” 

It comes out so matter-of-factly that it feels almost accusatory. 

“You’re not the first celebrity to be wrapped up in a scandal and you certainly won’t be the last.” 

That line is enough to make your mom snap into a fury again. 

“A scandal? She did nothing wrong,” she chastises. “What that boy did is not her fault.” 

Joe’s impatience is growing evident with every turn of the conversation. As warranted as your mother’s protectiveness is for this particular circumstance, her resistance was stopping one of his biggest artists from bringing in the label money. You can tell he's trying his best to level his demeanour but you also know that the higher-ups are breathing down his neck. He's balancing it as well as anyone could.

“This wasn’t just any boy. And your daughter is not just any girl. The reality of the situation is that just because she wasn’t responsible for what happened, doesn’t mean we can simply erase her from it,” Joe breaks, voice raising ever so slightly.

“She cannot keep silent on this anymore and the longer we stretch this out, the more intense the backlash will be upon her,” he presses on. “With all due respect, we have been extremely patient and have afforded your daughter twelve months. But this is a business first and there is a contract to be upheld. We are giving you the opportunity to write the narrative or have it forced to be written for you.” 

“He’s right,” Bec interjects. She’s always had a good gauge of when to step in when tensions start rising. It’s what makes her such a great publicist - always mediating at the right time. 

“But we don’t have to rush either. We can take it slowly. Start off with a public appearance in a controlled environment. 

The juxtaposition of that sentence could have made you laugh. Controlled environment? If the last few years had taught you anything, it was that no public appearance was ever fully in your control. Your phone number had been leaked more times than you could remember; the media showed up at your house at all hours of the night; private family events were invaded by obsessed “fans”. 

Your mom was quick to make the same connection, “where could we possibly let her go that guarantees her safety?” 

“The suite at MSG has their security system locked down to a tee. We could place her in there with a few friends and guise it as a quiet night out to show their support. Maybe work with the organisation to show her on the scoreboard during a break, totally candid of course, and maybe meet with their guest of the night for some fan engagement. We don’t want the public to misconstrue the appearance as a total cover-up.” Bec rattles off like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

Megan and Joe start nodding in agreeance, chiming in with additional tweaks to the plan that’s now been laid out, and it becomes apparent to you that they’ve had this meeting before without you. Your requested input and presence on the matter was just an act of courtesy. But as vexed as you are with this realisation, you know it makes sense. You were tired of the pitied looks your family and friends gave you, afraid to broach the subject as if it would send you into a spiral. You felt like the public owned you; shunning you into silence with all your actions picked apart and psychoanalyzed everywhere you turned. 

You missed your fans who called for you every day, writing sweet notes of encouragement and rebuffing shallow attempts of hate accounts concocting false stories. You wouldn’t be half the artist you are today without them and they deserved more than just radio silence. And it’s this last thought that makes you believe it’s the only reason you say:

“Just tell me when.” 

[jbaileyfansite]

The Wall Street Journal Interview (2024)

The 36-year-old English actor Jonathan Bailey is one of Hollywood’s newest heartthrobs. From Shonda Rhimes's Regency-era courtship dramas of “Bridgerton” to the decades-long romantic-political saga of “Fellow Travelers” to the Met Gala red carpet, he has earned admirers with his goofy charm and deep looks of longing.“

Being acknowledged as a heartthrob is incredibly flattering,” Bailey said. “It’s a big compliment, not just to you as an actor but everything around you.”

It has been a life-changing few years for Bailey, a stage actor turned screen darling. After “Bridgerton” launched him to global fame, he wrote up a document with tips to help prepare his younger castmates for the attention their on-screen romances would earn. “I think it’s about how to approach the work in a way that allows you to feel yourself and grounded,” he said.

Bailey, who’s been acting since he was a child in the Royal Shakespeare Company, reprises the role of Anthony in the third season of “Bridgerton” this month. Later this year, he’ll appear as Fiyero in the film adaptation of “Wicked” with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo. He lives outside of London. Here, he talks about his favorite tea, doing gymnastics and the advice he got from Sir Ian McKellen.

What time do you get up on Mondays, and what’s the first thing you do after waking up?

I try to get up between 7 and 8. Then I try to not look at my phone, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. If it’s a good day, I drink loads of water, have a bath and then just get out because I need to get outside. I’ll go for a walk, always with my headphones. If I feel a bit excited or my brain’s sort of alive, I’ll listen to a podcast because that keeps me quite calm. If not, I’ll listen to some drums and bass. 

How do you like your coffee? 

I love tea. Earl Grey tea for me. I love coffee as well.

What do you do for exercise?

I’m currently training for a half marathon. Then I do gymnastics at a local gym with loads of lovely, brilliant people. I’m part of that community, which I’m very proud of. I do handstands.

How long can you hold a handstand for?

I’ve gotten up to a minute. 

Do you meditate or journal or otherwise practice mindfulness?

Walking outside is meditation to me. There was a Buddhist center I loved when I was living in London, and I’d go there regularly to learn the practice of meditation. I believe in taking bits and bobs that work for you. I do write stuff down in a book that I carry with me, lessen the load in the brain when I can. 

Do you have any hobbies or habits that might surprise your fans? 

Probably playing loud music and dancing around naked. 

“Fellow Travelers” follows your character, Tim, as he falls for Matt Bomer’s Hawk over the course of several decades, from 1950s McCarthyism to the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. How did you get into character? 

With Tim, I felt like there was so much understanding that was in my bones already just from being me. Understanding the character who you’re playing opposite is also really good. Me and Matt, we didn’t really talk about it but we had that understanding of the experience of what these queer, gay people were experiencing.

Beyond that, I think about my forefathers and what an incredible opportunity it was to an academic, hands-on research of gay life in America. As a Brit, there was so much to learn, so the preparation was kind of nerdy in that respect. In another, it was incredibly emotional and spiritual. 

You’ve become very famous for the looks of longing that you’ve perfected. Do you practice them in the mirror?

No, unfortunately, I probably practiced them in real life all the way through my childhood. It’s funny, isn’t it? I can totally understand why people say that, but I think maybe what fascinates me most about humans is there’s always a distance between what you want and what you have and who you are and who you want to be. I mean, if I’m still longing and 92 years old, then I’m going to be very happy. 

How did you prepare to model swimwear for Orlebar Brown? Was there any part of you that was nervous? 

I had been doing gymnastics, so the swimsuit-model aspect of it required a couple of weeks of doing more handstandy stuff. But no, I was excited. 

There were some cute photos of you and Ariana Grande released from the set of “Wicked.” Do you have any favorite memories from filming? 

I went to CinemaCon and it was the launch of all of us together. I watched the trailer for the first time, I’m so glad I waited to see it in the big cinema. I just watched Cynthia [Erivo] and I was, like, God, Cynthia’s just going to blow everyone’s mind. You care so much about her in it. And Ari redefines Glinda in a really fun way, it just expands. 

There’s so much love for the original material. It was really fun and silly and great. Jon M. Chu [the director] just mines the emotion and is quite sincere about the truth of what’s going on with the characters.

What’s your most prized possession?

My headphones. If I lose them, I feel crazy. But also in 2017—I saved up and it felt incredibly frivolous—I started collecting the Yves Saint Laurent love prints, the original prints of the years that my sisters were born because there are four of us. Annoying actually, one of my sisters was born in 1982, and I don’t think there is a print for that year, so I might have to do a stickman or something. 

What’s one piece of advice you’ve gotten that’s guided you? 

Always do theater. That was actually from Ian McKellen. It’s in my bones anyway.

Source

[lick-me-lennon22]

Beatles X Model!Reader Headcanons

(this prompt was requested by the lovely @sugaredlavenderhearts 💕 hope you all enjoy this one!!)

John

John is incredibly (and perhaps a bit overly) protective of you, always reviewing gigs before you take them on to be sure they aren't exploitative or suspicious in any way

he basically acts as a second agent/manager

your career as a model tends to bring out the jealous and possessive aspects of John's personality

despite this, he really enjoys exploring different aesthetics and getting to play around with art and photography with you

he appreciates your artistic side and loves to collaborate with you on creative projects and experimental photoshoots, adding some excitement to your portfolio

you two mesh very well, your modeling skills blending seamlessly with John's own artistic vision

he also won't pass up the chance to brag about your looks and talent in conversation with the other lads

Paul

Paul takes a genuine interest in your career, offering encouragement every step of the way

he attends every show and photoshoot to show his support - and to see his gorgeous partner in action, of course

he'll often coordinate his outfits to match yours when the two of you go out on dates or to events

he loves nothing more than to show you off and wants everyone to see the two of you together

he can't help but shower you with compliments whenever possible

you're 100% Paul's creative muse and artistic inspiration

he's written countless love songs inspired by your elegance and beauty, expressing his admiration for you through his music

George

George deeply admires your ability to express yourself through fashion

he respects your dedication to your craft and you provide him with a deeper understanding of the art form

he loves to offer his perspective and insight on different shoots and projects you take part in, not afraid to speak up when he feels strongly about a creative decision or idea

during interviews, he often shifts the focus of the conversation to you and your accomplishments, beaming with pride as he speaks about you

he promotes you whenever he gets the chance, using his influence to propel you further into the limelight

Ringo

Ringo would be your biggest cheerleader, attending every show and shoot you book

he enjoys acting as your companion at events, reveling in the excitement and glamor of the industry

he likes to joke around with you between takes, using his humor to get you to lighten up and to dispel any nerves that may get to you

he's fascinated by your experiences in the fast-paced world of fashion, listening attentively to every story you share with him

when you're alone together, Ringo loves to take his own headshots of you, making silly faces behind the camera to get more genuine smiles and capture some candid shots of his gorgeous partner

[sweetprfct]

Midnight Rain

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: The glitz and glamour of Hollywood isn't always what it seems. When Joe had started working with you in a movie, he had started wondering as to why you, the famous Hollywood starlet, has been acting out lately. Was there some dark secret behind all the angry spoiled façade? And why was he so fascinated about it?

Author's Note: Hello! I'm back with another Joe series! There will be dark triggering factors in this series, so I'm warning you all this right now. I won't put a disclaimer on this chapter because it hasn't been mentioned, but it will be in the future chapters. I have been working on this plot for a month and a half so hopefully, it will satisfy you all! This might end up being more than five parts, so we'll see. Comments are always welcome, of course! :)

Disclaimer: 18+

Wordcount: 2.7K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“Okay, okay!” You laughed. “You win, Jimmy!”

Your eyes sparkled in happiness as Jimmy Fallon put down the headphones on his desk. The both of you were playing a game on national television. You were called to promote your current movie, and an interview with Jimmy Fallon was one of the promotions that you needed to do. He had challenged you to put on the headphones and play the music on a high volume, while he said random words in front of you. You had to figure out what he was saying, but your answers were always so far off. 

“Well, that interview went well.”

Joe jolted in surprise as soon as he heard his manager, Alex, enter his dressing room. He paused the video of you with Jimmy Fallon and looked over his shoulder to see Alex, shaking his head and letting out a deep sigh. 

“What’s that?” Alex tilted his head towards Joe’s tablet and saw that he was watching one of your interviews. 

“I don’t believe that the woman out there is the same person as this woman in this video.” Joe said.

Joe pressed play again and saw how right at the end of the show, your eyes were literally watering from laughing so hard. Your smile and eyes were sparkling in joy. It was almost like you were a whole different person. You were full of light, and you laughed at just about everything. He wasn’t going to lie, your laugh was infectious and he couldn’t help but chuckle when he was watching the whole interview. You were very interactive, and your answers to Jimmy were so detailed and fun. You even would joke a little to make Jimmy laugh during the interview. 

The video was three years old, and Joe couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he just sat for an hour and a half with you this morning for an interview for the movie that you two have done together, and you were almost lifeless. Almost so disinterested about everything around you. 

“Well, it’s not your problem.” Alex sat across from Joe. “Your priority is to focus on promoting this movie. She has her own publicist that could deal with whatever that is going on with her.”

Joe’s eyes shifted towards the paused Youtube video on his tablet again. See, that was the problem. He knew working with you on set wasn’t really that difficult. You came to set everyday—even if you were late most of the time—and did your job well. You were an amazing actress, and he knew how big your fanbase was. You didn’t exactly spend time with him too much on set nor with the rest of the cast, but he thought maybe because you weren’t that social. Now that he has seen some of your old interviews, he realized how extroverted and outgoing you were. But what happened? Joe couldn’t seem to let it go. 

“Ten minutes.” Alex patted him on the shoulder before walking out of the dressing room. 

Joe exhaled a sharp breath and leaned back on his chair. You were late this morning too, and you were already having an argument with your publicist as you walked down the hall and passed by Joe’s dressing room. Sitting on the chair, Joe and the interviewer gave each other an awkward smile as they waited for the both of you to arrive. Fixing your hair, you whispered something at your publicist before sitting next to Joe. 

“Hi.” Joe smiled at you.

“Let’s get this over with.” You mumbled under your breath, fixing your hair. 

The first few questions were easy. Joe was able to answer most of it, and you put on a fake smile and nodded your head. However, as time passed, Joe noticed the bored expression on your face as you played with your rings on your fingers. His eyes shifted on your lap as you spun the ring on your middle finger and then played with the fabric of your dress. He wasn’t sure if that was you being nervous or that was just a habit that you did. 

“So, what made the both of you interested in the role?” The interviewer asked.

“It was outside of my comfort zone, and I wanted to try something new. So, I hope I did the character justice.” Joe laughed softly.

Then, the interviewer’s eyes shifted to you and so did Joe’s. You bit your lower lip and was silent for a moment. Then, Joe saw the sparkle that twinkled in your eyes as you smiled.

“The paycheck was good.” You laughed at your own little joke. 

Joe saw the awkward expression on the interviewer’s face as she tried to just laugh off your answer. Joe couldn’t help but feel the blood rushed to his cheeks. He didn’t understand why you were acting like this. Were you just bored? Or were you doing this on purpose to piss off your team? 

The interviewer proceeded with more questions and at one point, you yawned in the middle of it and quickly apologized. Although, Joe knew you weren’t being genuine at all. You just said that because you knew you were on camera. 

“Are you guys excited to see the movie?” The interviewer asked. “You know… To see how it was all put together.”

“Yeah, actually—”

“No,” You shook your head, cutting Joe off. “I’ll probably just go home and order takeout after the red carpet.”

Joe started to feel uncomfortable, and he could see it all over the interviewer’s face that she was about done with you. He took a deep breath and gave the interviewer a smile as she asked more questions, but you kept trying to just make jokes and be sarcastic over it. Not once had Joe heard you answer the question with a serious answer.

“Do you think we will get a sequel?” She asked.

“Absolutely not.” You replied to the question immediately, your eyes widened looking horrified. 

“Can we take a break?” Joe asked, clearing his throat. 

“Um… yeah.” The interviewer smiled, getting up from her chair. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Joe immediately found himself in his dressing room, and he didn’t know why but he couldn’t help but google you. He wanted to know if there was some article that could tell him as to why you were acting like this. Then, that was when he found the Jimmy Fallon interview. It stunned him. Your hair was different too. Longer, dark brown and wavy. Now, you have it dyed in a platinum blonde and your roots are showing halfway on your head. It was only styled because you had your stylist for the day. 

“Ready?” Alex interrupted his thoughts as Joe set his tablet on the table and nodded his head. 

Following Alex out of the dressing room, Joe sat back on the chair and waited for you to arrive. Looking over his shoulder, he could hear your voice whispering at your publicist angrily. He watched as your publicist gave you instructions, her brows all furrowed and pointed her fingers towards the empty seat next to him. Joe couldn’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation. He knew he shouldn’t because just like Alex said, it was none of their business. However, Joe couldn’t understand why he was so interested in you. Why have you gotten his attention so much? It wasn’t like you were nice to him or gave him attention. In fact, you didn’t even bother learning his name. 

Hearing you sigh, you sat next to him and gave him and the interviewer a fake smile as you fixed your dress and hair. Joe could see the interviewer was intimidated by you, while she gave you a cold smile. At this point, Joe wouldn’t be surprised if she lashed out at you.

“So, how is it like working on set?” She asked. 

“Fun.” You shrugged. “Though, no one really talks to me nor I talk to any of them.”

Joe’s eyes shifted towards you and just answered the woman that he had an enjoyable time with his co-stars. However, he couldn’t help but think about what you told the interviewer because that was actually true. You have never had a full on conversation with him on set nor with your other co-stars. You always locked yourself inside your trailer during down time or would only talk if it’s about the movie. In fact, you never even tried to learn his name. You had been calling Joe by his character’s name all this time. He just never corrected you because he thought you were on some kind of method acting but now that you both were doing promos, he just now realized that you were still calling him by his character’s name. 

After a few more questions, the dreadful interview was finally over, and Joe was sort of relieved that it was done. Even though he probably would have to do more interviews with you for the next few weeks, he was just glad that the day was over, and he was able to go back to his hotel. Walking down the hall with you, Joe tried to find every ounce of courage to talk to you before you entered into your dressing room. 

“Have a good night.” Joe gave you a small genuine smile. 

“You too, John.” You smiled before entering your dressing room. 

Stunned, Joe stood in the middle of the hall alone as he tried to process if you really just said that. 

Did you really just call him John? Again?

Taking a deep breath, Joe walked over to where his dressing room was and found Alex sitting on the sofa with his tablet in hand. He looked a bit overwhelmed but when was Alex ever not overwhelmed with anything? 

“What is it?” Joe asked. 

“Nothing, just going over your schedule.” Alex said. “We’ll be flying to Paris tomorrow for the premiere, so I suggest to get some rest.”

Joe nodded his head. “Okay, anything else before I go?”

Alex shook his head. “No, the car is waiting for you outside.”

Joe thanked Alex one more time before grabbing his things. He was ready to just go back to London at this point. He has been in unfamiliar cities the last few weeks that he truly missed his own bed. 

In your dressing room, you sat on your chair, your thumbs scrolling away through social media as your publicist nagged you over the things you have said in the interview today. You have been tuning her out for the last few minutes that you barely understood what she was saying. 

“Seriously?” Lily grabbed the phone from your hand.

“Hey!” You gazed up at her with a death glare. “That’s my stuff. You can’t touch my things. It’s an invasion of privacy.”

“Have you been listening?” Lily’s voice was full of frustration. “This movie is the only thing that’s keeping your career from not falling apart and you’re acting like this?” 

You let out a frustrated sigh, settling back on your chair and stared at yourself in the mirror. You were giving Lily a death glare through the reflection of the mirror as she paced back and forth behind you. 

“I didn’t lie.” You argued. “The script sucked! I thought I, at least, owe my fans the truth.”

“Please.” Lily rolled her eyes. “You know you weren’t thinking about your fans.”

You bit your lower lip and didn’t say anything for a moment. There was an uncomfortable silence surrounding the both of you before Lily let out a deep breath and slammed your phone on the table in front of you, making you flinch a little.

“You know what, good luck with your fake honesty because I quit.”

You froze in your chair as you heard the dressing door open. Through the mirror, you saw your manager, Skyler, walked in and just in time heard what Lily just said as she stormed out of the dressing room. You grabbed your phone from the table and continued scrolling through social media again, ignoring the fact that your heart was beating a thousand times per second. 

“That is the third publicist that walked out on you in under three months.” Skyler said, setting her tablet down on the coffee table behind you. 

“Whatever.” You said, nonchalant. “She didn’t know what she was doing anyway.” 

Skyler watched as you focused your attention on your phone before walking up to you and grabbed it from your hands. You took a deep breath and rubbed your forehead in frustration. 

“Stop scrolling through social media and reading stupid articles on the internet.” Skyler barked. “It’s messing with your mind.”

You sighed and slumped on your chair as Skyler stood in front of you, her arms crossed in front of her chest. “You have a flight to Paris tomorrow night, so can you please get your act together before the premiere?”

You got up from your chair and gave her a sarcastic salute before grabbing your purse from the sofa. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Go straight home and get some rest.” Skyler called out as you walked out of the door. 

You knew all too well that she was making that clear because if she didn’t, you would go straight to the bar and get drunk then, she would have to deal with your hangover the next morning. As you walked out of the building, a crowd of fans behind the barricade were screaming and waving at you. Flashes of the cameras blinded you as you quickly walked towards the van that was waiting for you. Looking out the window, you watched the people waving at you before slumping down on your seat, letting out a sharp breath. 

You have been doing this career for years and until now, you couldn’t seem to get used to all of this craziness. At one point, you would just tune it out. This whole industry was full of fake people, and you could never just trust anyone at all. Sometimes you didn’t even know if you could trust your own team, especially with the way they were always frustrated with you. 

You couldn’t blame them. 

They have every right to since you have been acting out for the past year or so. They would just never understand what goes through your head. They could never understand all of it. 

The moment you entered your house, it was dark, quiet and eerie. You hated every corner of this house. You flipped all the lights on and you were greeted by just empty nothingness in front of you. Just furnitures, the AC immediately turning on, and the skyline of Los Angeles from the distance through your glass windows. You walked up the stairs and went to freshen up, taking all the makeup off and draining all the hairspray that was in your hair. 

You hated all of this. You hated every part of this career of yours. 

If only you could go back and change everything, you would. You could feel the anger swirling inside of you as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Dark circles under your eyes, your eyes looked tired, and you looked so miserable. You could barely recognize the woman in the mirror. You didn’t know who she was anymore. She was just a skeleton with skin but there was nothing left inside her. She had a beating heart, but it wasn’t beating for anything at all. 

A tear rolled down your cheeks as you quickly wiped it with the back of your hand and turned away from the mirror. You changed into your pajamas and slid under your bed covers. Picking up your phone, you scrolled through Twitter again until you could hear Skyler’s voice echoing in your mind. 

“Stop scrolling through social media and reading stupid articles on the internet. It’s messing with your mind.” 

You sat on your bed, reading through tweets until you felt the anger brewed inside of you. Every single thing they were saying was all negative. You weren't enough. You couldn't do enough. You weren't anything good at all.

Nothing was ever enough.

Throwing your phone across the room, you screamed in anger and slid under your covers. Tears streamed down your face as you pulled your pillow against your chest and sobbed quietly.

Everything was just dark and miserable. 

*********

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name @readergf @ladamari68 @1paire2vans @d4rk4ng3l86 @paleidiot @josephquinnsfreckles @readergf

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hi maggots... I have to go out for an entrance exam in a half hour but here I am, stealing a while to talk to you all. I don't know, why are we always making time for the things that are important and using time for the things we have to do but always stealing time for what we want to do? What is wasting time, anyway? I don't know. I don't know much at all.

I made the mistake of playing a new song while typing this first bit. It's Birch, by Big Red Machine and Taylor Swift. Do new songs ever make you feel a bit nervous but excited, like you're experiencing some emotion for the first time and reading a book or watching a movie and you don't quite know how it will end and where it will take you on the way? It's not the kind of thing you do lightly. Well, I mean, it's not the kind of thing I can do lightly. I'll have to listen to it again, while I'm not here writing.

This counts, doesn't it, as writing? Why do I have to be writing my book or a poem or a song for it to be real writing? I'm putting words together and I'm putting them together for us, for you and me. God we make ourselves feel guilty with so many arbitrary definitions.

A familiar song is playing now, The Alcott by The National and Taylor Swift. I think their voices meld together beautiful, gritty and smooth. I think Swift is a skilled singer-songwriter, as well as a performer. I think a lot of things.

Why am I writing an entrance exam? Well, writing is an exaggeration, it'll involve sketching and maybe an interview. It's for an art school. The design school I got into, which I told you all about and was thinking of not doing, well, that got messy. They were... not very polite about a scholarship that they'd said they'd give. And I can't risk going to a situation like my last college. I don't wanna sully this post with it (how do I use words like wanna and sully next to each other, I really cannot pick a way to use this language) but well. It wasn't fun. I don't want to be an unfriendly/unsafe environment if I can help it.

Am I excited or nervous for the exam? Not really. Too many things have happened to leave any room for that. It's mainly resignation, a sort of oh, is this what's happening now? ok. That's sad. But I still care about things, I promise. Not the things I used to, like academics or grades or some abstract future. I care about you. I care about you so much. I think about you all the time. I care about my mum and my dog. About stickers and Good Omens and Sherlock Holmes and music and books.

It's a different kind of caring.

I have ten minutes left. I need to shower and pack my things in that time. I'm cutting it fine. Like a slice of whale. Some of you are confused by that. A lot of you are thinking Asmi, no, no, no. That makes me smirk. A fine slice of whalegina, loves.

I'll tell you all about it one day (hush, those of you still desperately thinking Asmi, no with a mixture of horror and fascination).

It's the sixth of May here. 2024, for those of you who've lost track of years. A Monday. Tomorrow is my twentieth birthday. So many things are happening in my life, not all of them good, but what's always good is you. It's us.

We're good. We're always good. I love you. So much.

I promise, maggots. We're more than friends, we're family. And to whoever it is reading this, maggot, even if we've never spoken, I care about you. Because you took the time to read this. You took the time to care. I care, too. I care about you.

I'll go shower now, in a bit of a rush, but smiling. Because of you. Because of all of you.

Love, Asmi

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 4.3

Oof! Got him!

“She loves you and he loves him and they love each other”. You know when you've got something to say but you don't want it to look like you really wanted to say it specifically so you throw it in between two other things? No? Just me and John?

I'm obsessed with John just heaping praise on Paul in this interview. Every song the interviewer brings up it's “best” “my favorite” “all Paul” “good piece of work” “somewhere I have the tape of him doing it” “damn good” “one of his masterpieces” See also: Paul’s a good lyricist, he just doesn't try because he's insecure. And: one of the most innovative bass players of all time.

John mixing up In My Life and If I Fell “although I don't know why I'm confusing them, they're nothing alike but they have the same–” The same what? Same target? Same muse? Hmm? “It's really about–it's not about Cyn.” He's barely hanging on to not saying it here, like, by a gossamer thread. 

John confessing that the consistent character flaw of Paul's which hurt him ((hurt. Not annoyed. Not angered. Hurt.)) was insensitivity. Not bossiness or lameness or sneakiness. Insensitivity. What John couldn't handle in the end about Paul was that he wasn't aware enough of John's tender feelings. 

He's also so cruel in this interview. And what you've got to pay attention to is the theme connecting the songs he's cruel about: Let It Be (let John go) and The Long and Winding Road (the long and pointless fight). 

The Japanese Monk comparison doesn't quite land for me because it implies that John purposely broke up the Beatles because he knew they were at a peak and he wanted them to stay gold. And I think that's what John would like the story to be. It makes him feel better inside. It makes him look incredibly wise and courageous. But it's clear – John even stated it himself more than once on record – that the breakup was not purposeful or calculated. It was a terrible accident that nobody wanted, least of all John. 

More quotes to live by when examining John's post breakup “ow!”

I find it fascinating that John thought of Paul's and Dylan's lyrics as very similar and says so twice in this documentary. But nobody else ever draws that comparison. In mainstream thought, Bob Dylan is one of the greatest lyricists of all time if not the greatest (it's me. I'm mainstream. Subterranean Homesick Blues my absolute beloved.) and Paul is the worst lyricist to ever get successful. And you know what? I think Paul gets punished for being physically pretty and financially savvy, and I think in the exact same way his music gets punished for being melodically pretty and commercially successful. 

John about Paul's inscrutable messages in his songs: if one knows the person, one knows what's coming down. John in I Know (I Know): and I know. What's coming down. 

I will always love how he says in the same breath . . . “I've compared it to a marriage a million times" and "Paul and I were together.” 

You really do gotta be like “Johns say the darndest things sometimes.” I mean that's what Paul did, right? Because genuinely most of the time he's a fucking sweetheart. After he's sat there defending Paul's insane mourning bus movie, the interviewer asks him to compare himself and Paul. And after saying there's never been a question about commerciality, he says this. 

Nobody think about Paul writing “One of These Days” just before John's death then “This One” a decade later. Don't do it. I do recommend. 

Free as a Bird is such a beautiful song. It's a gorgeous melody, and it's got such complex emotions. He's still mourning something that was lost, but he's hopeful. He's on his way home. 

You all know that long distance interview Paul did right before John died where they bring up some of the awful things John said recently about him (ignoring the millions of loving and admiring things). When Paul's voice cracks and he looks up at the ceiling and struggles for a minute and the lights go out, I have a theory that it's one of their kids being protective. She was messing with the lights before to be silly and then when the bad question comes she turns them off again as a sort of protective sabotage. 

What If though? What If that's true? 

Quote of all time!!! “The person I actually picked as my partner, who I recognized has talent and who I could get on with, was Paul.” He doesn't say ‘as my sidekick’ or ‘running mate’ or ‘captain’s mate’ or ‘second string’ or any of those things that traditional Beatles fans tend to push on them. Partner. 

Serious question, because I swing all over the place as to what I think actually happened between John and Paul physically and emotionally. If we agree that Real Love is about Paul (a baby and another on the way lalalalalala farm . . . Just call him on the phone) Then what about this lyric? “Was I just dreaming (a word of theirs and something they thought they shared) or was it only Yesterday (Paul's biggest song) I used to hold you in my arms? Is that to be taken literally? John used to hold Paul in his arms? i.e. frequent hugging and cuddling?

The heart monitor cuts so harshly into John singing “Grow Old With Me.” As we see beautiful images of John and all the people he's leaving behind. I'm dry heaving. This documentary is so much more painful this time around than the first. 

Anyway I'm glad we got coverage of all the “for Paul” songs. Which. Btw fuck you Sean and Peter. You proved absolutely nothing.

[kxlitz]

⭑Growing up with TOKIO HOTEL pt.3 ⭑

AN .°˖✧: It feels so good to be back writing!! I know I said I would have more time to work on my blog but unfortunately, this summer’s proven to be more busy with work than I anticipated. I hope you guys are still as invested in this little series as I am!! We’re finally getting to the band’s big breakthrough moment.°˖✧

This part may potentially feel slow and not very crucial but! It marks the transition between being a teen band that played at the local club into being blasted into stardom, so I suggest reading it through with just as much love and care :)

Before you read ~ Disclaimers .°˖✧

- The reader is established as songwriter/rythmic guitar/backup vocalist but! The role is barely mentioned so you should be able to imagine her as you please.

- I said “her” because in this series, the reader is female. This is merely for plot reasons as it is very interesting to touch upon the reality of being the only female member in a “boyband”

- As usual, this is heavily based off Bill’s autobiography “Career Suicide” (as well as stories told from the guys themselves in interviews, Kaulitz Hills, q&a’s, et cetera) so expect heavy themes to be touched upon.

- Now that we’re getting into the main story, I must address that this series will be strictly platonic. For romantic interactions between the reader as 5th member and the band there will be separate posts. This is so I can allow you to imagine your own story based off my headcanons without imposing you a relationship.

WARNINGS: Underage drinking, underage smoking, mentions of depression, panic attacks, mature language, sexual themes addressed (non-explicit), “weirdos” (sadly, it’s the reality of the music industry).

Happy reading ~

We left this at what you really had gone to Hamburg for, making music.

Working with David Jost was like a treat. He taught you how to write an ear catching hook, the importance of a strong chorus, how to incorporate a bridge. He was like your music fairy godmother, and you loved it.

On Bill’s side, he grew impatient easily. He just wanted to put his thoughts on paper and sing. He wanted to instantly feel the bass shaking, the sound of the drums and shredding of the guitar.

Tom was rather interested by the production process of making a song. Back then, he didn’t know that little interest would grow into his biggest passion.

You spent days on end locked in a studio, conditionning your songs, coming up with new ones. Having gummy worm fights with Tom and reading shitty magazines with Gustav.

Nights on end destroying your fingers while coming up with new riffs and of course, attempting the riffs your producers shoved at you.

It was definitely a slap in the face to realize that as an artist you couldn’t just write everything yourself. You had a greedy company behind your back that looked for money rather than creativity. And well, as young kids you really had no idea how to actually produce music.

The amount of flat no’s you got to your face when sharing your ideas was insufferable and it made your blood boil.

Georg is the person you’d usually go to. He always listened to you rant and would join your anger in order to have you release it all.

I realized that I refered to both you and Gustav as the glues holding the band together so; let’s look at it this way: you’re the glue making you guys stick together and Gus is the scotch tape that makes you five inseparable.

So, back to the studio, back to writing, back to composing.

Overtime your endless sessions over the summer payed off and delivered the gem that we know now as your debut album. “SCHREI”

Picking the lead single proved to be a hard task, til someone’s girlfriend saw the potential of “Durch den monsun”

David Jost had once spotted the words “Hinter die welt” (beyond the world) on one of Bill’s songwriting notebooks that he shared with you and he was fascinated that such young kids could write such melancholic things.

With an album ready and a single to be released, it was time for the real action

You had a free week prior to the music video shooting. Bill and you took advantage of this to grab your allowance and start ofd by going to the hair salon and perfecting your hairdos. A little trim for him and anything you needed on your cute head.

You were supposed to have a gaming sleepover with Gustav to beat Devil May Cry 3 on your dusty PlayStation 2 and rock out on guitar hero, but your excitement for the music video shoot was so big that you spent all night brainstorming about how your life as stars would be.

Your manager took you guys shopping! The budget did not allow a new outfit for each and one of you but you all at least got a new item.

Cool jeans for Gustav, a new hat for Tom, a punky t-shirt for Georg, an item of your choice and the iconic leather jacket Bill wears in both Monsoon music videos.

A week of rest really flies by, and now the day of the video shoot arrived. You guys were newbies and being completely honest, the label didn’t quite believe in you yet.

Your budget was low and crew not the most promising. Most of these people were new ad had never worked on a project of the kind before.

Funnily enough, many of the people that started working with you guys from the very beginning would be the ones to stick with you through thick and thin and create your little tour family.

At least there was an idea. It was ambitious to film it all in one day and you five knew, but the producers kept reassuring you that most of the work would be done in post-production.

Your day started at 4:30 am when your alarm rang, not a soul up, not even the sun.

It didn’t take you long to get ready, as you’d be dolled up for the camera on set. You did your morning routine, packed your essentials, your outfit, and barely got time to eat before you had to get on the sleek black van that picked you up at 5:15 flat.

The boys were already all inside in exception of Georg, whom you’d go fetch right away.

You would’ve expected the ride to be chatty with excitement but you were all surprisingly calm, the nerves were starting to kick in.

The uncomfortably familiar fear of what’s to come, thinking of every single worst case scenario, what if you sucked, what if people hated you, what if your debut was a flop.

You tried to ignore the bad thoughts by drifting off on Gustav’s shoulder til you reached your first location.

A very public lake, where some families swam freely and unaware that a music video would be shot on their layback spot.

It was disappointing to you guys, particularly to Bill who dreamed of a tremendous production, but you would have to do with it.

David just gave him a pat on the back, it couldn’t be thaaattt bad.

When arriving on set you were given a tiny taste of what the rockstar life would be like.

Catering set up a table of, cheap, yet varied snacks for you to munch on. Makeup and hair station was installed in the back of the van and out of a truck rolled many cameras and new equipment you’d never seen before.

You could see Georg, with his newly permanently slicked hair, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

Of course the first one to get ready and start shooting was Bill. Once he started his first scenes the makeup crew took care of the rest of you.

As annoying as it may be to accept, the label wanted you to look as pretty and dolled up as possible. Having a female member in the band was a bet they were willing to take and if their gambling went well, you’d become the cashcow real well.

Extensions were put in your hair, mascara and eyeliner adorned your eyes and a sticky pink gloss glazed your lips. Nothing too extravagant yet appealing enough. You still had to look like a rock chick after all. The delicacy of your look adorned with how punky your outfit probably was made the perfect balance the label was looking for.

The boys probably made fun of you but, they never meant wrong.

You munched on sandwiches and played on your old Nokia as you waited for your turn to take photos and record your scenes.

It’d been quite amusing to see Bill upside down on a weird pole structure to then dunk his head in a dirty fish-tank.

Certainly fabulous.

Suddenly you’re up on a metal platform above water, playing your unplugged guitar and getting drenched by icy water raining down on you.

You played it off (literally) and in one take you were done with your first few scenes. No cuts and no chance to do it again. You had to save time so, if you looked like crap it was your problem.

Nowadays you probably cringe at some of your facial expressions and missed notes on the clip.

Quickly enough some of the guys helped you get down from the platform back onto solid ground and one of the makeup artists wraps you in a towel.

Now, you sit all wet while watching the boys repeat the same steps as you. As a girl tries her best to dry your damp hair before attacking it with a flat iron. Who has time to think of heat damage when you have another outfit to get in and more scenes to film.

The day went on smoothly, but the recording certainly felt rushed. By the end of the day you were left with a feeling of doubt.

The big day arrived.

August 15th, the day “Durch den Monsun” would drop.

You met with the twins at their house and the little family consisting of Bill, Tom, their mom & step-dad and dog Scotty! + you, whom they took in like if you were one of them.

Gordon, Bill and Tom’s step dad set their vhs recorder ready, just in case the music video would never be aired again, you wanted the memory.

The ad break ends and VIVA (German music channel) announces the debut single of Universal’s newest band.

Tokio Hotel with Durch Den Monsun

Somewhen in betwen the start of your journey with record labels the name Devilish was left behind and you guys adopted the new and stylish Tokio Hotel. But that’s a story for another day.

The wind blows a candle and Bill’s face in slow motion was shown on screen.

You could not contain your excitement! Bill and you held hands and shook them in the air as you watched the product of one long stressful day.

Your future self sees the video and points out the numerous flaws and low quality but back then it was so cool to you. You thought you were on top of the world

Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.

Tom didn’t speak much. He simply watched in awe, a smile of admiration and pride forming on his fine lips.

Later that day, you’d gather up with the rest of the band, David Jost and some crew members to celebrate your debut with cheap gas station champagne and ham and cheese bites the twins’s mom prepared.

You didn’t have much yet, but you’d just made a big step.

In the coming weeks you would see the immediate effects of monsun, were you ready? Who knew. What was undeniable was the immediate success that would follow.

AN: AAAAAA I kinda hate this ⋆｡ﾟﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ It was needed to include some of the process for your debut though! Take it as the calm before the storm I guess! Next part will take on the effects of your quick rise to fame on your everyday life and relationships. It will definitely dig more into your link with the boys, as this part barely had any interactions :(

As usual, take care, remember to eat and sleep!!

Love, Meryl <3

[girlsbandcryentls]

Otaku Souken interview part 1 -What did Scriptwriter Jukki Hanada want to convey with 『Girls Band Cry』? We talk at length about characterization and behind-the-scenes production.

(this article was published by Otaku Souken on August 2nd)

Airing in April 2024, the TV Anime 『Girls Band Cry』 has exploded in record-breaking popularity. An original series by Toei Animation that's been drawing attention from their combination of fully 3DCG animation, to create a smooth lively motion and a non-stop roller coaster of a story. Even now after one month since it has ended, there are many fans still reeling from "post girls band cry depression".

And so this time, we are publishing this special feature on TV anime 『Girls Band Cry』. We interview the production staff and cast members at length about what they feel towards this series and the unknown behind the scenes of this production. This feature will be split into 3 parts as we dive deep with plenty of questions to ask, so please look forward to it.

In part 1 of this feature, we talk with the scriptwriter in charge, Mr.Jukki Hanada. From 「K-ON!」 to 「Love Live!」, he has penned and worked on multiple popular series. Continuing on his trend of writing youth stories. What did Mr.Hanada want to convey with 『Girls Band Cry』? How did he create these fascinating characters? By reading this feature, there's no doubt you'll get more excited about this series!

Topics Page 1. A story about learning 「This world can't be easily divided into black and white」 Page 2. On Rupa and Tomo's relationship, there's plenty of room to expand. The dynamics of the 5 main casts are 「Like a Family」 Page 3. Nina's rival isn't 「Diamond Dust」 but Hina Page 4. 「Life does not end after graduation」, writing about facing society head-on

A story about learning 「This world can't be easily divided into black and white」

――First off, you have joined this project as the main writer/series composition of the story. I like to ask, how you came to be in charge of this role. Hanada: At first there was a pitch from Hiramaya about creating a music-centric story. Personally, I've been writing about idol stories for years. So this time I wanted to make it about a band. I've always been a big fan of old-school Japanese rock. And so I suggested 「If we're making it about music, let's turn it into a band」.

――What about the decision to centre around an all-girls band? Hanada: You know, I also wanted to write a story about boys (laughs). Hirayama (Editor's note: he is the main producer of this project), director Sakai and I all worked on 「Love Live! Sunshine!!」 together before. And so we went with a girl's band. Personally, I'm more used to writing about female characters after all…

――The setting of this story is based around the city of Kawasaki, is there a reason why? Hanada: When we were location scouting, I found that city to be extremely pleasant. It was easy to visualize the characters living in such a place. There's also the live house CLUB CITTA’. This city has a high affinity for bands, so it is easy to set the story up here.

――Onwards, I would like to ask more about the characters. First off regarding the main character Iseri Nina. I believe you have also spoken about it on your social media but, she's quite a sharp-tongued character who stands out huh. Hanada: At first the image I created for her is a bit more reserved. But once we started to develop her backstory and reason for coming to Tokyo, I thought 「Ah well, she's pretty grumpy now」

――So while planning out this script, things were constantly changing, right? Hanada: Most of the time when it comes to original series, that's how we slowly solidify the script. With Nina, she has developed into quite a pain in the ass for us. By episode 1 she was still alright. But by episode 2 when she first met Subaru. She gets easily depressed and instantly leaves to go back home. Slowly but surely all the anger and rage inside her began to surface. That's the kind of character she became (laughs)

――Whether it is towards herself or others, I get the impression that her anger comes off really strong. Hanada: She came to Tokyo after being bullied. As such she has a binary view that everyone is either an enemy or ally, a good person or a bad person. But that isn't limited to just Nina, I believe it is a common feeling when one is still young and naive. However, this world can't be easily divided into black and white. The concept of the story is Nina learning this lesson. And so we thought this story should start with her being on edge to some extent. But she ended up being way more grumpy than expected (laughs).

――Speaking of things can't be easily divided into black and white, I feel like representing that point is the character Kawaragi Momoka.

Hanada: Both Nina who came to Tokyo carrying all that anger, and Momoka who is pursuing a music career in a band, are in a way bonded by this mutual 「unfiltered earnesty」. However, Momoka is a character who has experienced first-hand how reality is not so black and white. Especially towards the start of the story, Nina looks up to Momoka but feels 「Why are adults always so gloomy with pent-up feelings」. For Nina, having this gloom is what makes someone not a good adult. In other words, this is someone who should be a baddie and her enemy. But because she admires Momoka, she can't easily label her as such. At first, her image of Momoka is someone who shines brightly. But Nina learns that Momoka drinks and rambles while drunk. She even pukes inside Nina's toilet (laughs). But, it's not like Nina hates that part of her. So Nina starts to change how she looks at things. But on the other hand, because of Nina's personality, she can't quite accept that part of Momoka. That's why she keeps pressing on Momoka 「Please shine like you once were!」

――Thinking only in terms of Enemies and Allies, she struggles to categorize her as an ally right. Hanada: She's probably not that grumpy when she's still in Kumamoto and might have accepted Momoka for what she is now. But once she came to Tokyo alone, there was no longer a reason to hold back. There is no point in coming to Tokyo in the first place if she still has to hold back her feelings.

――And so comes Awa Subaru and her role as a dampener between these two's relationship. Hanada: That's right. Nina and Momoka are both very awkward around each other. So in a sense, we thought it was important to add a balancer who is skilled at navigating social situations. But it won't be interesting if that's all she is. So we explored how Subaru came to be such a character by looking at her relationship with her Grandma. She is the complete opposite of Nina. So long as she puts on a smile in front of people, she thinks it's fine to delay all her problems that need to be answered. That's why for Nina, seeing such a liar first-hand pisses her off the most.

――But even so, they managed to build a very close relationship with each other thanks to how open-minded Subaru was. Hanada: But, Subaru hates the part of her personality of putting on airs and delaying important things. That's why she respects and admires how straightforward Nina is.

Page 2

On Rupa and Tomo's relationship, there's plenty of room to expand. The dynamics of the 5 main casts are 「Like a Family」

――From there, Ebizuka Tomo and Rupa are added. First off, I like to ask about Tomo's character setting. Hanada: She's like an extreme version of Nina. She's a character who had to start living by herself at a young age. She puts on an even harder shell than Nina and would not let anyone get close to her. After setting up the shin-kawasaki trio, I was thinking about what should we do for the remaining 2 characters. So how about making one character who is even harder to approach than Nina. Tomo draws out this side of her, like a catalyst to easily get a chemical reaction going.

――I see, so in this setting, she's a character who amplifies this part of Nina who hates adults. Hanada: In fact, I even wrote an episode halfway through focusing on Tomo. But Nina was more of a pain in the ass than expected, so we had no choice but to cut it(laughs).

――Continuing on, what about Rupa's character setting? Hanada: While we were thinking about Tomo's personality and setting, we also asked ourselves, if there's someone who can be with her, what sort of person would that be.

――So in other words, similar to Subaru who is good at navigating social situations, Rupa has an image of someone who can act as the adult in the room. Hanada: I don't think she is someone who wants to find sympathy in people with the same kind of scars she has. Nor is she looking for anyone to understand that pain. In the first place, it's not like Rupa herself thinks she can understand the pain of others, nor does she want to. She's the type of character who's strong-willed and is not looking to lick each other's wounds. In other words, she's like an adult who knows how cruel reality can be. There's her backstory of her family passing away. It's not like her bandmates didn't ask her about it, it's a situation where they can't. I also wanted to write more about Rupa's story, but I decided not to force it in due to time constraints. Like the audience, Nina and the band are in a situation where they only know fragments of her past. So it'll be better to write Rupa as someone who says "I want to stay by this person's side" and "Let's get along".

――The fact that she's the only half-Japanese in the band. We don't know her family name, only her given name. That makes her a very unique character. Hanada: Part of that is we wanted to emphasise her as a mystery character. On top of that, it's not unnatural at all for at least one person to be half-Japanese among a group as large as this in this age.

――From the cast members, we've also heard that it was actually easier to act out Rupa because her background has not yet been set in stone. (For more details, check out part 2 of the interview with the cast members!) But now that the anime has finished airing, there are a lot of people asking what exactly her character setting is. Hanada: Of course, there are more details for her character. Not every information about her has been perfectly depicted on screen, but no doubt a good part of her personality has. Teshima's illustrations (Character Designer in charge, Teshina nari) and Shuri's voice acting have greatly contributed to her standing out. Especially that sound check scene in Episode 11 「Centre of the World」. We were confident that 「This will definitely be a hit!」, and were very excited to see the audience's reaction when it aired.

――Regarding Tomo, she's been in a band before, but as seen on screen it didn't work out well. In all of them, only Rupa was always by her side. So I want to ask what's their relationship like. Hanada: Tomo doesn't want anyone digging into her heart. That's the same with Rupa. I don't think things will go well if every band member has the same 「Let's speak candidly with each other」 way of thinking. But when it comes to music, they are both serious about it. So Rupa and Tomo get along well on the same wavelength.

――Were there any non-explicit settings for the band overall? Hanada: For me, I have the image of a family in mind when I write their dialogue. Momoka is the dad and Rupa is the mom. Subaru is the older sister, Nina is the older brother and Tomo is the youngest sister. That's why, when the dad and son always end up fighting, the remaining girls watch over while Subaru the older sister tries to mediate.

――That's true, whenever Nina and Momoka clash it feels like a fight among boys. Hanada: Certainly when it comes to Momoka and Nina, when their feelings clash it kinda feels like a fight between boys. Sure harmony and reconciliation are important, but if there's no meaning to the fight if there isn't any conviction or pride. That's what I keep in mind when writing how they clash.

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Nina's rival isn't 「Diamond Dust」 but Hina

――Continuing on, I like to ask about the setting for 「Diamond Dust」 (from now on referred to as 「DD」) Hanada: Regarding DD, initially they were positioned as an enemy that Nina must defeat. When Nina came to Tokyo and heard Momoka's story, she thought that 「Momoka was bullied by her former bandmates and they were now her enemy」. But in truth, Nana, Rin and Ai are all really good people. And Nina slowly understands that they are all working hard and struggling in their own way. My intention was to obscure that part from the start, so both Nina and the audience feel 「What a bunch of show off!」 towards DD. But once Nina and the audience hear more about their story, call it from an adult's point of view or from something realistic, they slowly learn that Momoka too had a part in this problem. On top of that, Momoka herself thinks that she's in the wrong. It's through the course of those events that Nina and the audience learn how should one compromise with society and how people can't be easily simplified. For example in Episode 4 「Kansha (Odoroki) 」 with the story of Subaru and her Grandma. If you look at it objectively from the outside, pure evil doesn't exist much at all in this world. Everyone is just doing things their way, which is what I wanted to show. Nina had a clear divide between enemies and allies, justice and evil when she first came to Tokyo. She learns this world isn't as black and white as she thinks. Nina herself also started saying it at the end of Episode 4 but as Subaru replied 「Who are you to preach!」 (laughs).

――I've asked about this before from the producer(Tadashi Hirayama) and director(Kazuo Sakai). Regarding the vocalist for DD, Hina, her character wasn't in the initial script right. (We'll dive deeper into this topic with part 3 of the interview!)

Hanada: So in the middle of the story, after Nina learns that DD are in fact good hardworking people, she would've lost her initial motivation. In other words, the existence of 「An enemy she must defeat for Momoka's sake」 is gone. So there was a question of how the story should develop from there. At first, I thought of a story about an evil producer in DD's agency and the script went down that path. But I really didn't want to write such a story, director Sakai and HirayamaP were also at a loss because this didn't feel right. And that's when Hina was born. Rather than focusing on Momoka's DD, we structure the story around Nina facing against Hina. The course of the story turns to Nina learning just what is behind the mind of the one person she is utterly incompatible with.

――During her first screen appearance, the viewers get pulled along by Nina's hatred of Hina. But once I saw how Nina got back on her feet in the final episode, I somewhat understood just what exactly Hina was trying to say to her.

Hanada: For Hina, the reason why she is so attracted to Nina is very similar to Subaru's reason. Nina holds a kind of childishness in her heart while Hina doesn't have that explosive energy. That's why in the final episode 「Rockn'Roll Won't Stop Ringing」, she went out of her way to agitate her. 「I don't want you to get caught up in this mess made by the higher ups」 Hina thought. She knows exactly how Nina will act if she agitates her, so this is her way of cheering Nina on.

――In a way, no one understands Nina more than her. Hahada: If you watch it till the end, one can say Nina has no enemies.

――Besides that, is there also any inexplicit setting regarding DD? Hanada: If I have to say, there are some but, I want to keep those a secret for now (laughs) But if I have to give you one, it'll be about their relationship with Momoka. It's not shown on screen but, it was Momoka who pulled the other 3 with her to Tokyo. At that time Momoka was the one who was not looking at reality the most. So in the end, when she was the first to say she was running away, she felt an enormous pressure in her heart. She felt like she must carry the weight of responsibility for those 3. That's probably also one of the reasons why it was too hard for her to continue being in the band. But with 「Togenashi Togeari」 (from now referred to as TogeToge) things were different. Nina was also shouldering part of that weight of responsibility. Their relationship in this band is on equal grounds. With TogeToge, Momoka could see a different world compared to when she was in DD.

――On top of that, the members of TogeToge all joined the band of their own free will, that weight of responsibility is pretty different. Hanada: Momoka's time at DD is similar to the story of Takeshi Tomizawa in the manzai duo 「Sandwhichman」. Tomizawa had convinced his friend Mikio Date to become stand-up comedians together. But for 10 years they couldn't make it big, barely surviving on doing part-time and odd jobs. Tomizawa said to Date 「The only way I can apologize to you is by killing myself」. That's the kind of mental state Momoka was in. That weight of responsibility crushing on her was the main reason she felt like she could no longer be in the band.

――Once again, with regards to the band name 「Togenashi Togeari」. How was the name decided? In the anime, Nina saw it by chance on the T-shirt of an audience…

Hanada: Oh there's no deep meaning to it. Just one of the many ideas that we whittle down in meetings.

――The name of their rival band 「Diamond Dust」 is in a way very typical. So TogeToge's name is quite impactful.

Hanada: Not really, at first I thought 「Are we really fine with this name?」. It's going to be the name of the real-life band as well after all. But, when it comes to names of famous bands and manzai duos, having a somewhat random name surprisingly works out well (laughs). We had a lot of different suggestions but, since this is a band that was formed from such a story, we decided this thorny name that stands out is the way to go.

Page 4

「Life does not end after graduation」 , writing about facing society head on

――As for the members of the real-life band, this is the first time they have all voice-acted, I want to ask what are your thoughts on it? Hanada: Sure when it comes to acting itself, a professional with plenty of experience would be better. But the way these girls put their soul into the character, they all have an extraordinary level of passion, as they build on it episode by episode they get better exponentially. Combining both voice acting and band practice, it links to the essence of TogeToge in the anime.

――You gave the example of a family of 5 earlier, the cast members managed to portray it exactly as you said. Hanada: When I first watched Episode 1 「Tokyo Wasshoi」 and Episdoe 2 「Yakousei no Ikimomo sanbiki」, I never expected they could perfectly encapsulate their characters like in Episode 8 「 Moshimo kimi ga naku naraba」. It was truly incredible.

――Were there any scenarios you added to your script from inspirations from the activities of the real-life band? Hanada: No, I try not to. If the real-life band doesn't sell at all like in the anime that would be very troubling (laughs). Nina and the band said 「Even if we aren't making money, we will still move forward!」. So if we were to mix those together would be pretty bad…Like before in the halftime show of the J league.

(referring to the Kawasaki Sprint half-time event Tomo's VA Natsu ran on May 11th, a J1 league match between Kawasaki Frontale and Sapporo Consadole)

The members of TogeToge were on the field cheering on the event. But if it was Nina she would absolutely say 「Why are we doing this! This is not why I'm in this band!」 while her thorns go flying about (laughs). If I do link this to the anime I'll have to spend the rest of my life apologizing to the cast.

――You mentioned on social media that you wanted to write more episodes. I believe it was about Toma and Rupa. Are there any other ideas? Hanada: I wanted their trip to Nagano to be just a little bit longer. Oh and a comedy episode like the first half of Episode 9 「Kaketa Tsukiga Deteita」. Just an episode of them chittering and chattering around would be very funny.

――My impression after all 13 episodes, is it was mostly the drama aspect that's been cramped in with little room for the comedic element. Hanada: Yes that's right. Nina barging into Tomo's house in episode 9 is an example, I thought it'd be nice if we had more chances to include this kind of scene.

――Rupa also kicked down Subaru's door in that episode. I'm surprised that this gag showed such a gap compared to what we usually see of Rupa. In a way she's quite the martial artist, that is one of Rupa's inexplicit settings right. Hanada: Right right, Rupa is extremely strong in a fight. Oh, and she also loves to defeat her opponents by getting them drunk on alcohol. She'll line up glasses of tequila and have a drinking match. She loves the look on her opponent's face when they are passed out drunk.

――She has the impression of someone who's light and drifting, but in reality, when you go against her, she has no openings. On top of that, she is physically strong as well. Kind of like a Final Boss of a video game. Hanada: Speaking of being strong in a fight, for Nina, Rupa is an adult who knows the right kind of fights to take on. Compared to Momoka who surprisingly doesn't. That's why in Episode 11 「Centre of the World」, that concert was the best way to take on a fight against DD. That is how adults should fight is what I'm trying to express.

――In this series, Nina's relationship with her family is a very critical part of the story. How did you structure the story? Hanada: Regarding Nina's family as depicted in Episode 10 「Wandervogel」. Actually, director Sakai requested a big change from the original script. In my script, after Nina talked to her father beyond the sliding door, her father did not come out and send her off. The final scene was her holding the keys to her apartment and a shot of the cut-down branch in the front garden. Like with the ending of Episode 4 「Kansha(Odoroki)」, I had no plans for things to end happily where everyone understands each other. That aspect is still around to a certain degree, but I left some space for others to write. Nina and her father in the end couldn't understand each other, but they both recognize that the only path they can move is forward. Director Sakai is an actual father with children. So as a father, he thought Nina should receive a proper send-off from her father.

――In the very last scene of the anime, the band quits the agency and starts from scratch. Hanada: If the ending was a fully seated Budoukan and they won against DD, the story would just end up like 「Love Live」. I have no plans for a happy ending right from the start. Like Episode 10 we discussed earlier, I don't think any problems can be that easily solved. But even so, one can only move forward. That's the one theme I want this story to be consistent with. So when I thought what's the best way to express such a theme in the ending. I came up with what we have now.

――If you could make a sequel, what sort of stories would you like to include? Previously you mentioned the comedic elements… Hanada: This is just an example I thought of but, Nina gets persuaded by a super ikemen vocalist to heedlessly follow him into his house. But when it seemed like he was about to make a move on her, Nina knocks him out with a tomoe-nage judo throw and runs back home. I can't include bits like this if it was an idol show. So I thought it'd be pretty funny to include it. Oh, and I would love to make more episodes about their daily lives.

――Once again, now that the anime has finished airing. Do you have any response or thoughts about it? Hanada: Of the stories I've written about a group of girls centred around music, all of them are set in high school so the story ends after graduation. But, life does not end at the graduation ceremony. When I thought about it, I gave myself homework of sorts. I must write a story about 「Life Beyond Graduation」. This series has a bit of that in it. 「Beyond Graduation」 is in other words, facing head-on against society. There comes a time when one must face society with nothing to protect you with. So for me, including such a theme in my writing is like stepping into uncharted waters.

――As a whole, this story seems like it is written from the perspective of Nina's coming to terms with society.

Compared to episode 1, Nina has grown a lot by the final episode. For example, if it was the Nina who first came to Tokyo. She would have never accepted their manager Miura lowering her head to DD, asking for help about the band battle. Nina would've been extremely angry about it. But she has come to understand that one needs to compromise with society. Adults have their own complicated situations to deal with too. Mirua's actions are for the benefit of the band and Nina has learned to be grateful about it.

――Lastly, do you have any messages for the fans? Thank you for supporting this story with such a pain-in-the-ass main character (laughs). When I was writing this story, I thought that it would be hard for people to love this girl. But in the end, she has gained so many fans. I'm honestly shocked by it but nonetheless, I am grateful. I wish one day there's another chance for us to meet again somewhere. Please continue to support us.

――Thank you very much!

Part 2 of this interview will be with the cast members

[savebylou]

Appreciation post of Louis in LATAM.

A while back did a post about Louis going to see fans after the shows. I want to do a similar thing but about Louis in LATAM.

For me what Louis did in LATAM was a huge deal. Going to 3 different countries and plan so many interviews, to see as many fans as possible is not something common that international artists do in LATAM (for what I had seen).

Even this journalist & Louis talks about it how this kind of promo is inusual (transcript here):

What Louis did is not that usual as it used to be in the music industry. Maybe because times had change and the promo of music is different now, the budget is different etc.

Louis had said over a few interviews how he thought for a while to come to LATAM to thank the support and see the fans. Yes he is also promoting the tour but he could easily choose to just do the shows and that is it, but he pick the difficult option.

I mean difficult option because there is a lot that Louis has to do in order to make the interviews happened and see the fans. I will first talk about the interview aspect and then the fan aspect.

For the interviews he is doing between 6 to 10 interviews aprox. for each country, between 10 to 30 min each, is a full day of press. Even if he could feel tired of traveling, etc., he still managed to bring his best energy, he was so sweet and attentive with the journalists, doesn't matter if the questions were repetitive he always tried to answer the best he can and be present, show that he cares and he acknowledge the love he has for the fans in that specific country. The journalists have said only positive things about their experiences interviewing Louis.

Is a lot of work he had put on those interviews and is not easy, not to mention the few interviews that are live stream where he had to be so ready to answer because everyone was watching him.

During the interviews he asked for recommendations so he can learn more about the culture of each country, he also tried to learn a few words in Portuguese so he can say different things to fans in the shows in Brasil, he also spoke in Spanish and Guaraní.

We got so many interviews and even a few answer we already knew we also got new content of Louis' thought process in music & other topics. I find it fascinating learning more things about his perspective as an artist an as a person in general.

Now for the fans aspect, besides the press day on the same day he took time out of his day to do meet & greets with fans and also took pictures with fans outside of the radio stations and hotels. Even if Louis loves the fans, it also takes a lot of effort mentally and emotionally to to show love and smile to fans, to be kind, attentive even if is for just a second, because this moments will live in the memory of fans forever.

There is a lot of: travel, social interactions, people wanting his attention, fans yelling his name, asking for an autograph, wanted to touch him or be close to him, show him phones so he takes a picture, everyone filming every move he takes. It's a lot of love but also a lot of chaos and it can be overwhelming specially after a break when he was living his normal life. But even it's a lot to take in, Louis did the extra effort so fans felt seen and special.

I try to remind myself this, because I often see the fans interactions and feel happy that he is seeing so much support but I put in the back of my mind the effort that Louis needs to do personally to be in that mental space to give the best of him.

I'm thankful for Louis and his kind heart that wanted to show love for LATAM, makes me cry everytime I think about it. He comes from another place around the world where is totally different how the fans are and he still loves and appreciates the passion and excitement from fans of LATAM countries.

I also very thankful that the fans welcome Louis with so much love and excitement, making Louis feel special and make him notice how much support he has around the world. It makes me so happy that he is appreciating this moment without a show, realising that people want to see him, that he is noticing again of how meaningful his music is and the impact he has in so many lives.

I'm so glad Louis came to Brasil, Chile and Argentina. I hope he does similar things in other countries in the future.

What Louis did is not something we see often, there are not a lot of artists that go above and beyond to make fans feel special, he made a huge effort and he always try to see as many fans as possible in different countries. He is an amazing artist but also a very kind human that understand how meaningful this actions are to fans, we are very lucky to have an artist like Louis.