#first rude anons now deleting asks. oh well

[marimayscarlett]

I seem to be haunted a bit by bad luck on here - prepared an answer for an ask yesterday, but instead of posting it, Tumblr swallowed the ask and it's nowhere to be found. Since I always type my answers in a Word document, I still have it and answer it in a proper post. The ask was signed with "RZK obsessor", so if that's you, here's your answer to your ask 🔎 which was something along the lines of:

Anon: Can you confirm the existence of RZK?

Hi 👋

Now ☝ Getting to the bottom of this kind of fundamental question does require a bit of a planned approach and care. So, at the start of the research process, one should ask which approach and research path to take when tackling this question: the philosophical route, the one of scientific research, or perhaps one's own wealth of experience? I’d say, let’s just go with all three.

Philosophical thoughts on the existence of our beloved Richard

From a philosophical standpoint, one must first ask - are we dealing with Richard as a tangible, real entity, or is this a collection of idealized versions of fundamental concepts? Wishful and idealistic projections designed to show just how diverse a single individual can be? Included in this are the epitome of confident presence on stage:

the audaciously good looks in every kind of stage outfit, be it leather, dramatic coats, feathers or questionable sleeves (wet or not):

and the efortless serving of rock star attitude, no matter how tight the clothing:

as well as exuding the most cozy vibes in rather eyebrow-raise-inducing attire:

Richard embodies so many concepts in one person that it’s hard to believe such traits can coexist in a single individual - perhaps Richard is Schrödinger's guitarist? Simultaneously existing and not existing, until you see him live and promptly lose all sense of composure...

2. Scientific research and evaluation of existing data on the topic of the existence of Richard

Like any good scientist, one must disclose the sources used and where one has gained knowledge and insights in order to report on their research in a credible manner.

To get to the bottom of the question of Richard’s existence, I have spent nearly the last 10 years meticulously studying every music video and their corresponding making ofs to the point where I can recite every line by heart (even the ones that make me want to sink into the ground out of secondhand embarrassment - "so ein Gesäuge", I’m looking at you). I went to the cinema three times to analyze Richard's presence on the big screen, absorbed recordings of live performances to examine and cross-reference his alluring movements on stage, and created a seven-page long table in Word to organize his interviews by date and topic, tracking his statements and quotes - I mean, quotes like the following have to be proof that this man exist, who else could express things like that so calmly, right?:

Every fur frog tastes different. Pure question of taste. There is no judgment in the text. We’re not saying it stinks.

I believe the music itself must be the king, but I want to be the queen.

The result of this research so far: Things are looking pretty good that Richard actually exists! But I understand what you mean - sometimes it’s hard to believe that this person truly walks, no, struts among us on this earth.

That’s why I had no choice this year but to take my research to the active side of things. Which brings us to:

3. The fan experience as a way to proof his existence once and for all - with my own two eyes

Even though we have countless recordings at concerts of him, from the 90's:

to the 2000s:

all the way into the 2010's:

to today:

it’s still hard to truly grasp that he exists in flesh and blood. Even I sometimes catch myself looking at pictures of him and thinking, “Wow… he actually exists! He’s real!”, fascinated anew every single time.

This year, as part of my research, I was fortunate enough to practice my research in the Feuerzone three times, and I must say: the moment Richard stepped onto the stage, I was often left speechless. He has an incredibly majestic presence, very focused and fully immersed in his role as the serious rock star - with moments of warmth (towards his band mates) and small glimpses into his thoughts (the annoyed look he gave in Dresden when he forgot his pyro arm for DRSG was so expressive; he rolled his eyes so hard, he surely could see into his brain). I was utterly captivated and thoroughly enjoyed watching him play and use iconic gestures (like during Du hast 👆☝✋👉), and to witness his presence and mannerism live on stage really was a highlight for me. Here's some of my research footage (grainy and shaky, and please be aware of me screaming, but all in the name of science):

After this intense period of dedicated research, I can confidently say: You don't confirm Richard's existence - you witness and experience it 😌

[bbrissonn]

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 - 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐲

↬ in which after years of pinning after you, gavin finally decides to go for what he truly wants. ↬ pairing: gavin brindley x casey!reader ↬ wc: 5.3k ↬ warnings: slightly nsfw, read at your own risk, not proofread, lowercase intended ↬ disclaimer: gavin's lowkey an asshole for a bit, but they get a happy ending ! ↬ autors's note: this was requested by an anon, but i accidently deleted it so oopsie, was supposed to just be a small blurb but i got carried away like always. i was listening to a random playlist when experience by ludovico einaudi started playing and this became so angsty to sorry about that

you and seamus had always been close. when he started playing hockey, so did you. hockey wasn't all that popular in florida, the boys barely being able to have a team for their age group each years. meaning the possibility of having a girls team was pretty much impossible. which lead to you joining seamus' team when you turn 8. you joining the team meant you were now teammates with gavin brindley, a boy from your neighborhood, who also happened to be shea's best friend.

the two of you were never close, whenever is familly came over you'd chose to spend time with his sister. even if the two of you were on the same team, you were still just his best friend's little sister.

when seamus left for the NTDP, everything was weird. not only did you lose your defense partner, but it also felt like you had lost a part of yourself. which is why when the umich women's hockey team offered you a spot on their team, you waisted no time accepting their offer.

of course it wasn't going to be like before, you and shea playing together, but it was close enough. the two of you would be back in the same time, having the time of your lives playing the sport you love the most.

unfortunately, the two of you couldn't share a dorm like you hoped. so, shea opted for gavin as his roommate, and you with another freshman on your team. but you barely ever spent time in there, always being over at shea's dorm. the brindley boy never minded much attention to the two of you, leaving the two of you to be in your own little world.

you and gavin had maybe spoken no more than four sentences to each other since you both arrived in michigan. couple of greetings here and there, but nothing more. which is why when he showed up along with your brother to your team's home opener, you were shocked. even more when you saw him waiting outside of the locker room after the games, your brother no where in sight.

"hey." he smiled at you when you walked out, making you stop in your tracks. you looked around quickly, seeing if seamus was near, but no one else seemed to be around.

"hi?" you spoke confused. this was probably the first time the two of you had ever spoken to each other with no one around.

"you did great." he said with a smile. a small one of your own grew on your face, rocking backwards on your heels.

"thanks. uh, i don't wanna come off as rude or whatever, but what're you doing here exactly?" you questioned him with an awkward smile. he stared at you for a couple of seconds before snapping out of whatever weird trance he was in.

"i came with shea."

"i meant what are you doing here?" you repeated, looking around the hallway.

"oh. um, well, i was waiting outside but one of your teammates brought me here."

"gavin, you know that's not that i meant." you pushed. you weren't exactly sure what game he was playing, but you were already growing tired.

"honestly?" he asked, making you nod your head, which made the boy in front of you sigh. "i don't know." he answered, making you scoff slightly.

"gavin we played on the same team for 7 years and you barely ever spoke to me. now, all of the sudden, you wait for me after my games? what's going on? did something happen with shea?" you panicked. normally, it was always seamus waiting for you after game, and vice-versa, never seamus' friends.

"shea's fine. i, uh, i went to the bathroom and when he came back he was gone."

"it's a five minute walk, gavin." you mumbled as your last teammate left the locker room. the boy in front of you looked down at the ground, biting his lip slightly as he realized he had been caught, no more excuses coming to him.

"i wanted to see you." he whispered honestly, a slight shade of pink taking over to apple of his cheeks. he sighed when his eyes met yours, your brows furred. "i just... i don't know, ever since we got to michigan, it's just been different."

"what do you mean?" you questioned confused. you truly didn't understand what he was trying to say, and you were growing tired of him beating around the bush.

"you've always been shea's sister to me, right?" he started. "but i don't want you to just be his sister anymore." he continued when you nodded. your brows furred again at his words, still confused.

"gav..." you trailed off as the boy started avoiding eye contact again.

"when i came over for the first time when you guys moved, i wasn't there for shea. i wanted to have a playdate with you, but my mom called yours and then i got dragged to your garage. i've always wanted to get to know you, but seamus told me to stay away from you, but i don't wanna stay away anymore." he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

"gavin..." you trailed off again, being at a lost for words. he had always been seamus' best friend. always. the two of you have known each other since you were kids, yet he felt like a total stranger because of how little you knew about him.

"i've seen the way you look at me, y/n. and i know you've seen the way i look at you." he whispered softly, taking a stop closer to you. your fingers brushed against each other, your heads inches away.

"shea-"

"what shea doesn't know won't kill him." he smirked, using a phrase he's heard you use so many times during your gossip sessions with your twin.

"he's gonna know, i physically can't lie to him."

"then we can just tell him, y/n/n. why do you think he left without me?" he asked, his pointer finger coming bellow your chin and lifting your head so you were looking at him. you could feel his breath against your face as his eyes looked down at your lips, and that's all you needed before leaning in and connecting your lips.

both of his hands quickly flew to your waist as yours went to the back of his neck and head, your fingers brushing through his curls. your kiss quickly went from soft and slow to messy and quick. his arms fully wrapped around your waist as your tongues met in the middle. a groan left his mouth as you pushed your body against his, your chest flat against his as your hands travelled deeper in his curls.

after a minute or two, one of your hands came to his chest, your fingers looping in the necklace that adored his neck. when the boy pulled away from you to catch his breath, you were quick to pull him back after a couple of seconds. the two of you smiled into the kiss, your teeth clashing together as a small giggle escaped your lips.

gavin's hands started to travel down further your back, until a loud couch was heard in the hallway. the two of you pulled away, looking in the direction of the cough, only to see one of the janitors staring at the two of you. a dark shade of read appeared on your face before the brindley boy grabbed your hand and started guiding towards the exit of the arena.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

it had now been a week since that night, and you had yet to tell your brother about your new found romance with his best friend. it wasn't like you didn't want to, you did, you really did, and you tried. you were planning on telling him after three days, but that plan quickly dissipated when seamus started rambling on and on about how thankful he was that gavin had chosen michigan as well, and how grateful he felt to have a brother by his side.

guilt took over as you couldn't shake the feeling that you were betraying your brother. scared of how he was going to react, you decided to keep it to yourself, and you had yet to find another moment to tell him about it. you called gavin, freaking out about what the two of you had done, but he was quick to calm you down. he reassured you that seamus should be happy that the two of you were happy together, and if he wasn't, he'd have to get over it.

which lead to this moment, gavin's large frame above yours as the two of you were in nothing but undergarments. his lips slowly travelling down your body as soft moans echoed in his shared dorm room.

seamus had a class, meaning gavin had the dorm to himself, and you two were quick not to waist a single second you could have alone. shea's class was two hours long, and his professor often went beyond that time by thirty minutes, meaning the two of you had plenty of time.

"gav!" you gasped when his fingers started rubbing small circles against your clit. you had quickly rushed to his dorm from your class after seeing his text almost an hour ago, your body still full of need after the previous night. the two of you were sharing a heated make out in your dorm until your brother called gavin, urging him to come back to their dorm.

thankfully you and gavin shared a class, so using the excuse that you were helping him study was one your twin brother believed quite easily. he did find it a little weird how quickly the two of you became close, but he decided to brush it off, telling himself he was probably just overthinking it.

but this, this he was sure he wasn't overthinking. the first thing he saw when he walked into his dorm was your bra flying to the ground. at first, he just though gavin had decided to use up their free room and get laid. he couldn't blame him, sharing a dorm was making the two of them quite sexually frustrated as hooking up with someone while your best friend is laying on the bed at the end of yours was pretty awkward. seamus was supposed to be gone for at least three hours like always, but his professor's wife went into labor and ended the class early.

he was about to walk away when he heard gavin mumble something that made him stop dead in his tracks. he wasn't sure if he had just misheard what his best friend said, but when gavin repeated himself louder, he was sure he was hearing right.

"fuck, y/n/n."

"gav, hurry up, please!" he heard you whine as what sounded like a condom packaging was being opened. seamus felt his heart drop in his stomach. he had left gavin at the rink after your game because he just wanted the two of you to be friends, not have sex in his room while he was gone.

"don't worry, baby, shea won't be back for another two hours. we got plenty of time. gonna make you feel so good." when he heard those words, his hands went numb, and the door handle slipped from his grip, making the door slam shut. the loud noise made you and gavin jump slightly.

"y/n?" you heard seamus' shaky voice ask. when you looked to your side, no one was there, meaning he was still standing at the door. your heart broken at the sound of your brother's voice, the guilt once again coming back. gavin had a finger over his mouth, telling you stay quiet, but you couldn't.

"shea." you breathed out loud enough for your brother to hear as you pushed gavin off of you. your hands reached for your shirt that was on the bed, quickly throwing it on as you avoided making eyes contact with gavin. the boy tried to stop you from reaching for your underwear, which were also on the bed, but quickly gave up when you brushed him off, standing up from the bed and slipping them on.

you grabbed both your pair of pants that were laying at the end of the little hallway leading to the door, your eyes meeting seamus' when you leaned back up. your brother was frozen, tears starting to form in his eyes. you were about to started walking towards him, but gavin joined you. one of is hand reached for his pants you were holding, while the other landed on your back. his pressed a small kiss to your temple, trying to reassure that everything was going to be okay.

but his action only seemed to make the situation even worse. seamus' brows furred as anger now took over. his eyes went from broken to angry and the words he spoke next were not the ones you wanted to hear.

"get out." he whispered harshly, his eyes staring into gavin's.

"shea-"

"it's fine." gavin mumbled in your ear before grabbing a hoodie. "i'll be outside." he added before making his way to the door. your brother's eyes never left his best friend until the door was close, and they shifted to you.

"with gavin? really?"

"i tried to tell you, i swear i did-"

"how long?" he asked firmly, cutting you off. "a month? two? five? a year?"

"no, god, no, shea. a week. it was after my game, when you left gav at the rink. i never meant to hurt you, but i deserve to be happy, shea." you admitted, the two of you still standing in the same spots.

"and you couldn't find somebody else to be happy with? it had to be him?"

"shea you've known since we were kids how i've felt about him."

"you said he was just some childhood crush, y/n!" seamus spat, raising his voice slightly as he approached you.

"he is! he was! but he's felt the same way about me all along, and i'm tired of not letting myself be happy just for you." you said, standing up for yourself. all your life you had always just listened to seamus without really questioning what he was saying, almost letting him dictate your life, but you were tired of that.

"you really wanna be with him?"

"yes."

"then go be with him, but stay the hell away from me." he mumbled harshly before pushing past you and going over to his desk where he dropped his bag.

"shea, please."

"leave." he said firmly. his back was facing you and it wasn't until he heard the door close that he let a tear slip from his eyes. on the other side of the door, gavin was met with your red eyes filled with tears. the boy was quick to bring you into his chest, holding you tight against him. thankfully your dorm was on the same floor as theirs, so the brindley boy waisted no time bringing over there.

your roommate was gone, having a class of your own, something you were grateful for as you started breaking down in gavin's arms once the two of you were sitting on your bed. the mood completely different from the last time the two of you were there together.

"it's okay, sweetheart. he just needs some time." gavin mumbled as his thumbs rubbed small circles on your arm and back, trying to help you calm down.

"he hates me." you cried out, and gavin felt his heart ach for the two of you. you had always been so close, and he couldn't help the guilt he felt for making the two of you drift apart.

"i'm sorry."

"it's not your fault, gav. he's an asshole."

"he's your brother. twin brother."

"who's an asshole." you spoke through your sobs. gavin chuckled slightly at your words, you were never really one to use foul language, expect when it came to your brother.

"hey, look at me. i promise, everything's gonna be okay. he's just shocked right now, and the way he found out wasn't... ideal." he said, trying his best to comfort you.

"i'm scared he's gonna hate me forever."

"he's your twin, y/n/n, he can't hate you. just give him some time to clear his head, okay?" gavin said, his hand cupping your face and pressing a kiss to your lips after you nodded slightly.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

the next couple of days were weird for everyone. gavin and seamus barely ever spoke to each other, something everyone on their team noticed. nolan had tried to make them fix whatever the problem was, but neither of them wanted to talk about it.

whenever gavin would leave their dorm during the evenings, seamus would shoot up a dirty look, making gavin roll his eyes every time he would end up in the hallway. things between you and gavin were amazing, no one had ever made you feel as happy as he did. he was doing an amazing job at making sure you were okay at all time, waiting for you outside the class you shared with your brother.

it was truly perfect, well besides the fact that seamus still hadn't talked to either of you. even your parents all the way in florida could sense something was wrong, especially when the two of you joined the weekly family face time from your own dorms and barely spoke during said facetime.

but that all change one morning when you and gavin got woken up by a loud knock at the door. you let out a loud groan as the person once again knocked. your roommate had gone home for the weekend since he family lived in detroit and you guys had the weekend off.

"can you go open it, please?" you asked gavin, who had officially asked you as his girlfriend the night before. the boy didn't answer, instead just pressing a kiss to your forehead before getting out of your bed and going to open the door.

"hi." you heard your brother say, almost making you jump out of your bed. gavin stood at the door, only wearing boxers, giving your brother the very wrong idea of what he just walked into.

"we were sleeping." gavin mumbled harshly, knowing where his best friend's mind went to.

"can i come in?"

"depends. are you gonna yell at her again?" gavin asked, crossing his arms over his chest. before seamus had the chance to answer, you appeared next to your boyfriend. the two hockey players were both looking at you, waiting to hear your answer. your fingers interlocked with gavin's, his hands squeeze yours lightly before you nodded, stepping to the side to let your brother in.

you and gavin ended up sitting on your bed, your hands locked together, while shea sat at your desk chair.

"i'm sorry for how i reacted. i shouldn't have gotten mad like that, 'm sorry." your brother spoke after about a minute of awkward silence. you could tell by the look in his eyes that he truly felt bad for how he acted.

"i'm sorry we lied to-"

"we didn't lie. we just didn't say the truth." gavin cut you off, making you let out a sigh. you knew he was right, but him saying that wasn't going to make the situation any better.

"you know, i don't remember asking you to be here for this conversation." seamus said harshly, his eyes staring into gavin's. the younger boy scoffed at your brother's words, making himself comfortable on your bed.

"i'm apart of this."

"doesn't mean i was talking to you."

"she's my girlfriend, you talk to her, you talk to me." gavin said protectively. he hated having to see you cry in his arms almost every night for the past week, and he wasn't going to let seamus off the hook so easily for what he did. seamus' started throwing daggers gavin's way, and you knew you had to intervene before the situation escalated.

"gav, can shea and i talk for a moment, please? alone." you said making gavin take a deep breath as he started into seamus' eyes. you squeeze his hands slightly, making him look over at you. "i'll be fine. i'll text you if i need you, okay?" you added as gavin leaned his forehead against yours, your free hand cupping his cheek as you pressed a small peck to his lips.

"i'll go see what the fants are up to." he whispered in your ear before standing up from the bed, sending a glare in shea's way, before leaving your room.

"so... you guys are official?"

"yup."

"i'm happy for you, y/n, i really am. and you were right. you deserve to be happy and be with someone who makes you happy. but i want you to understand how it makes me feel. gav's been my best friends since forever, and you've been my best friend forever. i don't want to lose you to him, or lose him to you, y/n/n." he explained.

"you're not losing anyone, shea. your my twin, you're stuck with me forever." you joked, but when your eyes met his you were reminded of why he was here. "you were an asshole, shea."

"i know, and i'm so sorry, y/n/n."

"if you do it again, i'm gonna have to snitch to mom and dad." when his brain registered what you had just said, he finally realized that you weren't mad at him. "but you can't be mad at gav, shea. if you're not mad at me, you can't be mad at him, it's not fair."

"y/n-"

"no. he went behind your back just as much as i did. it's not fair, shea. we never meant for you find out the way you did, and i'm sorry it happened that way, but you can't be mad at him." you cut him off.

"i can’t not be mad at him, y/n/n. he promised me nothing was going on between you two, he lied to me.” shea spoke, making you a little confuse.

"he lied? when?"

"you know when i went on that little rant about him, i asked him earlier that day if anything had happened after your game, and he swore nothing happened. he lied."

"he only lied because i told him i wanted to tell you, shea, not because he wanted to. he wanted me to tell you that same night, but i... i was too scared of how you were going to react. and clearly i was right for being scared." you stated, getting a little angry at the end. your brother scoffed at your words, standing up from your chair and pacing around the room.

"of course you're gonna side with him." he mumbled under his breath, but it was still loud enough for you to hear. his words made you stand up from your spot on your bed, placing a hand on his chest to stop his pacing.

"okay, now you're being an asshole again, shea." you said, a stern look on your face as you stared into his eyes.

"whatever." he whispered, rolling his eyes before leaving your room. you let out a loud sigh before hearing the door open and close once again. a pair of hands landed on your hips, lips pressing a kiss behind your ear.

"you lied to him?" you mumbled as you leaned back against the brindley. he let out a sigh of his own as his arms wrapped around your waist.

"i did." he confirmed. he knew that lying to his best friend was eventually gonna come back and bite him in the ass, he just didn't except for it to come from you.

"you could've told me."

"i know, and i'm sorry i didn't. but you already had so much to worry about, i didn't want shea's and i's friendship to worry you even more." he whispered softly in your ear, pecking the shell of your ear after.

"things were going so good, and then he just started being an asshole again." you informed him, turning around in his hold so you were chest to chest. your hands went to the side of his neck, your fingers playing with some of his curls.

"he's mad at me, baby, not you. heard him and rut talkin' 'bout it." gavin mumbled in the shell of your ear as he pulled you into him.

"it's not fair."

"i know, baby, but it's gonna be okay. listen, i know it's bad timing, but coach wants me to go down to the rink. i'll be back as soon as i can, okay?" he said, as the two of you pulled away slightly. you nodded your head slightly and gavin pressed a kiss to your lips before leaving the room with his things.

you decided to meet up with some of your friends to go grab a quick breakfast at a cafe near your dorm. you talked with them about what happened, desperate for some advice. you eventually settled on a plan, and as soon as you got back to your building, you went straight to seamus' room.

when your brother opened the door, the two of you just stared at each other, before you pushed past him and into his room. you heard him let out a long sigh before joining you in the middle of the room.

"sit." you said, looking at his desk chair. he quickly listened, wanting to get this over with. "gavin's your best friend, shea. he's always been your best friend. he loves you, and he cares about you. and this you being mad at him thing is stupid and selfish of you. we're happy together, and you should be happy for us, not mad at us. he's your best friend, and he's hurting because you're not talking to him. i am the one who waited to tell you, if you're gonna be mad at anyone be mad at me, but not him." you cried out, tears forming in your eyes as memories from two nights ago filled your head.

gavin was over at your dorm, watching a movie when the two of you started talking. he eventually admitted to you how much it hurted him that shea was ignoring him. he even cried a little in your arms because of it. never had you seen gavin cry, not even after he was injured or a hard lose. never.

"i know, but i can't be happy for you, y/n. i know how he is, he breaks hearts, y/n. i don't want him to hurt you. even if he wasn't my friend, i wouldn't be happy for you. this isn't about you being with my best friend, this is how about how he treats girls. and i'm not just stand there and act like i'm okay with you being with him. i don't want you to see you hurt. he cheated on his last two girlfriend's, y/n, and i don't want that to happen to you too." seamus explained. tears started falling from your eyes as the more he talked.

"that's not true, he isn't like that."

"i was there, y/n, both time! i was the one who told them! i don't want the next girl i'm stuck giving that talk to is you, i can't. i won't be the one who hurts you." your brother added, as tears of his own pilled in his eyes. meanwhile, more started rolling down your cheeks.

"i really like him, shea. he makes me really happy, and he's different now."

"you don't know that." seamus exclaimed, standing up from his seat.

"he's not like that, shea. please, just give him a chance. i really want this, shea. i really wanna be with him." you begged. the look on your face finally making him break his protective big brother roll.

"fine, but i swear, y/n, if he does anything-"

"thank you! thank you!" you said, rushing into your brothers arm. your arms wrapped around his torso as you let out a small sniffle, while his went around your shoulders.

"if he hurts you-"

"he won't."

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"what's going on?" you asked walking into your dorm room later that week. after your little talk with seamus, he had a long with gavin. first talking to him as your big brother, warning him about what would happen if he hurts you. then as his best friend, telling him not to mess it up because he could tell how happy you two were.

gavin wasn't really sure what you had said to him while he was at Yost that morning. but whatever you said, he was thankful you did. you could hangout outside of your dorm room, hold hands whenever you wanted, and you could swear you had never been happy before.

"thought we could finally have that playdate." gavin said, walking towards you as he held a hand out. the lights were out, a bunch of candles light up on your desk as he guided you into the room.

on your bed were a bunch of your favourite snacks, along with some flowers. next to those was a box, the words guess who? written on it, making your jaw drop.

"you remember?" you asked excited, but at the same time embarrassed.

"do i remember you harassing shea until we were like 12 to play guess who every day? of course i do."

"gosh, i am so glab puberty's a thing."

"so am i." gavin smirked, his eyes staring at your boobs. you were wearing a shirt with a very deep v neck, the bra you were wearing making your boobs show even more.

"hey, eyes up here mister." you said, snapping a finger in his face. the boy chuckled slightly before grabbing the flowers and handing them to you.

"my lady."

"thank you kind, sir." you answered, also using a british accent. the two of you laughed slightly before gavin pressed a long kiss to your lips.

the two of you spent the night eating snacks, playing guess who over and over again until gavin finally won. you had also convince him to finally start watching pretty little liars with you.

that night spend together was probably one of the best night of your life. it only made your feelings for the boy that much stronger, and the he felt the same way.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"okay, could you at least not shove your tongue down each other's throat while i'm here." seamus mumbled from his bed, making you and gavin pull away from each other. "i don't want any nephews or nieces."

"you're just jealous."

"your boyfriend has a bigger butt than you, y/n." seamus said bluntly, making you and gavin gasp at his words.

"it's not that flat." you said, looking at your brother before turning to look at gavin. "right?"

"it's not. gavin's butt is just huge."

"i do have a pretty big booty."

"and i still can't believe you won't share your ass workout with me." you sassed your boyfriend, making seamus chuckle slightly.

"and i'm telling you it's genetics!"

"i'm serious though. if you guys wanna get all freaky, go to your dorm." seamus cut your little chat off. his eyes were looking at your eyes, making you roll your own.

"it's girl's night over there."

"sucks for you, but you're not having sex here."

"shea, when two people love each other..." you started, but you were stopped by your twin brother throwing one of his extra pillow on you.

"shut up! i'm going to sleep. get that smile off your face, brindley. i'll still hear you."

[profound-bouquetbird]

Hi I love your writing can you do hunter or edric x plus size female reader fluff and some jealousy plz

Ehllo there anon! I am here to inform you that you actually send this request while my requests were closed

I am still going to write this request but please for any people that want to leave any requests please check my bio to see if my requests are open or closed :)

I made these in to headcanons since you didn't really explain the request, but i didn't want to delete your request :)

The reader is implied to be female but it never mentions the exact gender of the reader, except in Eric's part ma'am is mentioned

Hunter would absolutely adore you. I mean he would adore you either way wether you are or aren't plus sized

The one thing he would absolutely do even if you're not in a relationship is hug you

Constantly when your washing the dishes, or just watching TV hunter would sneak up behind you and hug you

When the two of you are cuddling in bed he would 100% have his head in the crook of your neck or he would hug the ever lasting shit out of you

When it comes to people just being rude and making comments about your weight, he wouldn't necessarily jump them... He would just guilt trip them (if that makes any sense)

But when it does go to the point where he wants to rip their head of he will not hesitate... Well he will hesitate on the riping their head of part but trust me, he will absolutely start beating up anyone for you

When it comes to jealousy he would probably be the touchy and denying type

To translate that: if he feals jealous he would hold your hand, have his arm wrapped around you, every single possible thing as long as the person that made him jealous in the first place sees him giving you attention. And if you were to point that out and ask if he was jealous he would deny it completely

Overall 10/10 would recommend

Now... When it comes to edric. He is just so freaking mesmerized by you!

He will always give you compliments, would probably try and make you something, like a teddy bear or just make a pot out if clay

But he will ultimately give up and just show you silly little illusion tricks to make you laugh

He will probably take any chance to cuddle with you. Oh, you're feeling a little sad? Nothing a lot of love and affection can't fix

If you're feeling sad about someone making a comment about your weight, expect him to talk shit about the person that made that comment (even if he doesn't know them) and will give you tons of kisses, hugs and everything he can to make you feel better

Now, when it comes to jealousy he will 100% not be embarrassed to do anyting

That's right, no little hints towards the person. He would just turn to you and be like: I am very much jealous ma'am

You would laugh lightly and give him kisses or something to make him feel better, while he'll just be staring at the person who made him jealous with a cheeky grin

Now, on how that person acts it actually dependson what the situation is

If the person was trying to flirt with you they would be pissed. But if the person was just talking with you they would probably feel a little awkward but would laugh at Eric's childish behavior

Either way 1836/10 would definitely recommend

[ofmermaidstories]

Ooh im so glad you enjoy any type of comments because im so so so obsessed with something (just like this) but felt the comments i left on ao3 weren’t showing how much i really really liked it! [which is a lot, i live react to my little fanfic gc about it whenever i read/reread 😭 shout out to them for listening☝️]

NO, listen—I’m the same way!!! Writing big, analytical comments doesn’t come naturally to me (which means I appreciate the ones I get even more, because i know exactly how much time and thought they take 😭), so I understand the knee-jerk worry of, oh no, is this enough? But I do think that it’s a disservice to each other to like, have expectations of how to comment on something. 🥺 I don’t believe in rigidly policing how we aught to interact with each other’s art (beyond not being dicks). It’s—disheartening! Disheartening and fucking rude, actually, because it does two things: it treats those beautifully detailed, loving comments that people write of their own excitement as the only valid form of expressing love and it also makes reading fanfiction and interacting with each other a chore! And it shouldn’t be! It’s not! I dunno how many times I need to say this, but fanfiction isn’t homework—and that goes two ways!! You, as a writer, are not enslaved to it. You don’t need to finish to a deadline (unless you want to!). And you as a reader are not obligated to provide an itinerary of the time you spend with someone’s work!!!

It’s not the only way to love something. Like you saying that you live react it to the group chat—I don’t even know how to articulate what that means to me, to hear??? Lmfao. Because it’s so cute and it’s so fun!!! And it’s relatable, because I do the exact same thing with fics I love, to the friends that I love. 🥺 If anything, I find it easier to like, lay out what I love in a fic to a chat, if that makes sense? Because I’m not worried about the author! Like—I’m not worried about impressing them, LOL. Or accidentally hurting their feelings if I’m maybe a little confused about something, or am just extra opinionated that day. I can just say, “OH MY GOD [insert writer here] UPDATED [insert fic here] IM LOSING MYS HIT OH MY GOD ITS SO GOOD OH MY GOD!!!! [insert plot twist here]!!!!!! NOOOOOOO OMG WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME IM TOO DELICATE FOR THIS I HATE IT HERE” etc etc.

We forget that fanfiction communities are built, in large part, because of readers—readers silently reading things, or privately sharing them. Readers making tiktoks about their favourite fic (and then it blowing up and the fic getting deleted because people are mean to other fics in that same community that share the same tropes LMFAO go on, ask me about attackonfic). There’s one user on AO3 that I adore, literally, they are so precious because I see them so often in the comments of the fics I’m reading and every time it’s the same, short and sweet sentiment of how much they love whatever it is they’ve been reading, and sometimes they’ll add emojis and sometimes it’s capitalised but it gets the point across so well. They’ve commented on surrender before; it now lives in my folder for comments, on my phone, because it made me laugh when I first got it.

I promise you, Anon, if you have commented on SJLT then not only have I read it—I’ve screenshot it and saved it to that folder. Because for all I write, I don’t think I can ever adequately express what any comment means to me. 🥺 The sense of relief and—safety, almost? In being seen. It’s just—it’s there for all of them! Every comment!

If anything, I owe you an apology—I’m not good at replying to things in any timely manner 🥺 It’s never malicious, it just—it takes energy, no matter how big or small the comment (or tumblr ask!), because I want each reply to mean something, to return that sensation of hi, i see you too! It’s not an excuse. But I promise, Anon—I see you, too. And I want you (and everyone!) to know, no matter what you’ve said to me on AO3—whether it was an emoji, one word, a couple of sentences or paragraphs that took half an hour to write—it found me just when I needed it. And it meant so, so much. 🥺 Thank-you for reading, Anon. Thank-you for being here. I hope I can give you a finish story that makes those comments worth it. 🥺🌷📖✨💕

[yanderelovlies]

✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

Thanks viví! Yeah I am I just may respond less and not as fast since work is horrible! I’m sorry you had a bad day yesterday viví! I hope it gets better!

I see your point. For me the second pause was the best since I like the colors and designs the best not to mention there the most attractive in that artsyle but I Don’t like that people are being so vicious the new resigns though. I get it you don’t like the redesigns as much but they acting like the artstyle looked like the first look of Sonic in the Sonic movie trailer. Nice nice.

Yea it’s even worse because I couldn’t ask my teachers back then about it since I didn’t want to appear stupid to them and now I am expected to know even more which I don’t fucking know! Np!

Don’t apologize. You have limits and they need to know you need a break. Your aren’t a robot and even robots need breaks or they overheat sometimes!

Yup hope so too.

Thanks for understanding. Dude no it wasn’t, you were suggesting something that could work and also you didn’t make me uncomfortable. Trust me I got experience online on people harassing me why I didn’t give certain social medias information to them when they asked and I explained why. Trust me you made a good suggestion. Sounds like a hoot, I would want to hear them that be fun. Pfft damn that sounds hilarious honestly and I wish I could do that people just think I’m going to be a future serial killer if I discuss things like that.

Honestly I’d be surprised if it didn’t. The curses of trauma and maybe being a introvert sometimes. Dude your not alone on being terrible with that, I literally can’t make any friends for the life of me and made only few including you. Yikes I sympathize that’s one of the worst pains since as humans we strike for social interactions even the most shy do. Thank you my sweet viví your so sweet! Thanks and I will also notify you when I do delete it one day so if you wonder why I haven’t been on tumblr for a few days and make sure you don’t worry too much.

Yay! * waves hands frantically and in a silly way*

That's understandable don't forget to take care of your galaxy, and thank you. I'm doing way better than I have been. 💕💕

Oh I know! I'm honestly so surprised that there was such an uproar that they felt the need to change Nick's design. I really liked all their designs as they were. I don't get where the rude ass comments are coming from.

Ugh I get that. If I don't understand anything I don't ask my professor unless I HAVE to. Cause I feel like they are looking like I'm stupid.

I can't help but apologize because I feel bad when others are affected by my actions. I try not to let my real life reflect on my blog because I want it to be somewhere that everyone feels welcome.

Okay just making sure, and I get it that's why I hide behind my main oc's name. I used to use my name, but that didn't turn out well so I don't do that anymore. Lol it's always interesting to hear the stories my mom is willing to share about her experience in the medical field. Maybe one day I can share a couple with you.

It has been difficult. I've known this group since elementary. So now I'm lost and unable to make friends that are better for me. Doesn't help that some of them can't take a hint and won't leave me alone. Oh! You don't have to notify me if you don't want to. I can patiently wait for you. I'll even throw the red carpet out when you come back!

💕💕💕💕💕

[dainty-fingertips]

Oh my God, someone who writes about my current fixation, I love it (and you, you're awesome)

May I please, please, request a Doc Ock (either TSSM or 2004 movie) X fem!reader that's his lab partner, and while they work the have this Playlist going, and there's one specific song they have to take a break from working and dance with each other? (You know, get the blood flowing again, talk to another person, human contact, pine over the other, the like) (I'm thinking they either tango or waltz together, not alone)

They both obviously like each other, but too either shy or stubborn to say anything. So the dancing gives them both an outlet, a way to fantasize the life they would have together.

(Probably better suited for a Doctor Octavius than a Doc Ock)

(If you can't work with this, feel free to delete, no pressure, I get it)

(Again, you're awesome, ily)

(Also, where did you get your DILF hunting license? I've been doing it under the table for years, would love to go legit)

stoppppp you're too kind~~~~ i love you too anon <33 i gave you some mutual pining with TSSM otto for this bad boy. and i know you didn't ask for it, buttttttt...... i made the playlist for you on spotify!! it helped me write ngl. and about my dilf hunting license, you have to be at least 16 to take the test and get a permit and you have to get a psych eval done issued by the state to ensure that it isn’t just daddy/mommy issues, but if you pass then you’re good to go ;)

Soft Rock Mix ||tssm otto octavius x fem.reader

word count: 1232

summary: Work breaks are healthy. It's important to get up and stretch every so often! Dancing with someone could be a good way to get your blood flowing again... especially if you've been crushing on them for years.

trigger warnings: none :)

“Don’t worry about Osborn.” She frowned. “He’s just… rude.” A reassuring hand rest itself on his shoulder. Otto looked up at her and sighed, closing his eyes momentarily. “I-It’s nothing. I’ve dealt with it for nearly 20 years. A-After all, I’m getting paid, aren’t I?” He slowly let a smile hint at his lips, causing her to guiltily smile in response and look back ahead of her. “You do a pretty darn good job here, Doctor. I just wish you were treated with the respect you deserve.” Taking open strides to the radio sitting on an open desk not far away, she plucked a CD from the sleeve book. It had “soft rock mix!” written neatly in sharpie on one side. Otto turned back to the work table, a now-lifeless actuator layed in a straight line in front of him. He heard the first chords of Bennie and the Jets begin to hum inside the lab and he couldn’t help but smile to himself, his cheeks warming.

The Soft Rock Mix was Otto’s favorite. It was one that he always found himself nodding his head to no matter how he was feeling. His assistant knew him well, though, that was to be expected after nearly five years of working at his hand. Otto pulled a welding mask over his face and burned the connectors together inside of the arms. Yn shuffled back to the table of her own and continued working. Osborn typically left a negative wake after any visits to the laboratory, but ever since Yn began to work with Otto… each time became a bit more bearable. A soft hum playing at her lips (she’d heard this mixtape many times now), she let her head nod in rhythm with Elton John’s keyboard. Her fingers danced across her own, less musical keyboard, typing out the progress report that Osborn had so desperately desired. 

“. . . The work shown by Doctor Octavius and Doctor Ln -”

 no, no… that’s not right. Click click click click click…

“. . . by Doctor Octavius will be listed here in full detail, as follows.”

Her back ached, as did most Oscorp scientists’, but with a deadline to be met for a full report that very night, there wasn’t much else she could do other than slump over and get it done. It always eased her, however, to look up and see her superior gently swaying to the mixtape he somehow never seemed to grow old of. If it hadn’t meant so much to him, she probably wouldn’t ever bother with it. He tapped his foot following the beat as another song she’d memorized faded out, and the gentle synth signaling the beginning of Billy Idol’s Eyes Without a Face poured in. Catching her attention, Otto swiftly walked to the radio and turned the volume up a bit. When he turned back around, he was grinning from ear to ear until he caught her humored gaze. He quickly flushed red and shrunk down a bit. “No, no! Don’t back down now.” She giggled, standing up from her computer chair and popping her back. “Here, may I?” She approached him gingerly and took his hands. “Wh-What??” His cheeks burned a bright crimson and she led him to an open spot in the laboratory. 

She intertwined her fingers with his own and began breathing her breaths a bit quicker. Otto was at a complete loss, only able to follow her lead as the two of them ambled along into a sort of waltzing position. “Know how to dance?” She asked him, beginning to sway before giving him the chance to answer her. Luckily for her, he did! A gushing stuttering mess, he gently moved his feet in time with hers as the spun around the floor, labcoats flowing like expensive tailcoats and ballgowns. Otto couldn’t help but look at her hands which graced his own with their touch. Her skin was cold and soft, fingers slipping between his with delightful comfort and simplicity; though the feelings shared were anything but simple.

“You’re pretty smooth, Doctor!” She giggled, him revelling in her praises. “O-Oh, stop that.” He murmured, shying his gaze to the floor with a bashful grin. She pulled him a bit closer and softly nudged his chin up to look at her, and when he looked up once again he could have sworn he had seen the most genuine, loving glint in her eye. Maybe it was just the lights from the tanks full of acid or the flashing of buttons from panels on the wall, but the colors melted together into a visual cacophony that filled his heart so full he couldn’t help but let it spill back out; in the form of a soft gasp. “Everything okay?” She asked him, startled. “Y-Yes…! I-I’m… Everything’s perfect.” He stumbled in his words trying to piece together fragments of what he truly wanted to say. Her lips curled into a soft unconvinced smile, but she shook her head and dropped it. “A-Are you a fan of Billy Idol, too?” Otto asked her, desperately scrambling to fill the silence his catastrophic slip-up had left behind.

“I only know him thanks to you.” She replied, moving her hand down to his shoulder. She wondered, fruitlessly, if he liked to dance at home as well. Would they dance together like this if they lived together? Able to take him by the hands and waltz around the kitchen whenever they wanted, wearing whatever they wanted. They wouldn’t be confined by labcoats and nametags and button-ups and slacks. There would be no need for closed-toe shoes or long socks. Only pajama pants and t-shirts and maybe some house shoes if the tile felt particularly chilly that evening. The idea of living with Doctor Octavius made her face grow red and her smile reach her teeth in a shy recoil. “W-What are you smiling about?” He allowed himself to laugh with her as they swayed, meeting her gaze in the dim light of the buzzing LEDs. “You’re just a lot of fun to be around. Did you know that?” She quickly responded, completely avoiding the topic of her thoughts. The two had much in common. Otto’s eyes felt half-lidded after the compliment. “F-Fun? I-I wouldn’t say that. I’ve n-never been very fun. Y-Y-You, h-however…” Unable to complete his sentence, he trailed off in hopes she could connect the dots herself. 

“Fun is ambiguous. I think you’re fun just the way you are.” She said, smirking down at him. “W-Why are you so insistent on flustering me…?” He said breathily, hardly able to stand on his own two feet. She spun around under his arm and grinned. “Because it’s fun.” She let her hands slip from his and she returned to her desk as the song faded away in a dwindling murmur of synth chords. Otto watched her as she took the same, long strides back to her chair and he couldn’t help but look upon her with the most fervent of admiration. Being honest with himself, it was more than that. There wasn’t one word he could think of to really explain how he felt about her, and so he stuck to what he typically did. He shuffled bashfully back to his workbench and picked up his torch again. Late nights were late nights, of course; but with Yn around? Like Osborn, they became a bit more bearable each time.

||

chapter 2: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/ybkayley/691215016131706880?source=share

[birthdaycakeplate]

I deleted the anon message because I’ve exhausted all my brain power, but someone sent me some Megop with ticklish Optimus-and all I can say is: Yes, absolutely, stranger. He is a sensitive boy boy, and I will exploit this for you.

✨Warnings in the tags✨ This is actually appropriately short for once 🥺

——— —————

One more day stuck in this ratty little tent, about two more stuck in a marginally bigger transport shuttle, and Optimus would be off this heatstroke of a planet and back on the Steelhaven.

“It was entirely unnecessary for you to come.” Megatron glowered, annoyed with Reflector comming him consecutive updates about their ETA more than anything.

Optimus didn’t bother looking up, eyes tracing the fresh outline of the falls below the burrow Reflector had found themselves in on his datapad.

“When exactly were you going to send us the finished product for this map?”

“Do you really need one?” Megatron asked, purely to be malicious.

“My men do all your exploring for you now. What use is it to you?”

Optimus didn’t entertain that painfully stupid jab with a response. He saddled his pad on his side for quick access and turned to shunt himself up in their pitiful tent for the time being.

To his dismay, Megatron followed. Unwilling to give him any escape from their week long spat that’d gotten considerably more aggressive a few cycles ago.

Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was because Optimus made himself a fine target, despite his efforts to seem unfazed.

Maybe Megatron actually enjoyed this kind of play, though Optimus could hardly see the appeal. He much preferred their awkward, but genuine talks at fueling.

Wedged in a small tent barely capable of housing its two current occupants, Megatron took this opportunity to continue spurring him on while he was stuck there.

“Regardless of how mandatory your role here has been, would you care to remind me when you became a babysitter and forwent your status as a Prime entirely?”

“Well, you and I both know I was sent, because you give anybot else serious attitude and run them off. So, I don’t see why my presence here would be a surprise all at once.”

Megatron actually did look miffed. A rare thing.

“I don’t need any Autobot interference on these explorations in the first place-“

“But we need the finished map.”

“Certainly.” Megatron moved away from the entrance to tower over him.

“And at the virtuous sacrifice of reducing yourself to an errand boy.”

Typical.

Rude, abhorrent, typical Megatron.

Through feeding him ammunition, Optimus moved to sit on his narrow cot. He turned his back to the other and imagined himself back in his nice, cool room on the Steelhaven with all his datapads. Surrounded by the standard size and its dull grey glory -and not an ounce of comfortable furniture anywhere. Someplace he’d give his right servo to be right now.

Megatron would normally drop an argument when it resulted in a Prime clearly put out with him and reluctant to continue -it meant the fun banter that made their ‘conversations’ delightful would be lacking. No sport in that.

But with a single solar cycle left on this planet promising their freedom soon, Megatron felt emboldened to make the most out of their remaining moments together. That was, until the next expedition in a few more months.

He wouldn’t say he *liked* these particular circumstances comprising their time spent together, but they were the few instances their fates crossed paths.

Oh, how he longed for their time on Earth. Able to cause chaos in the nearest city and find Prime’s battle axe aimed at his faceplates in nanokliks.

He stalked over to the little Autobrat, flicking his finials back sensing his approach. He refused to turn, refused to acknowledge the other as little more than an annoying gnat than a once feared criminal warlord that’d turned the little bot inside out a few times over.

Youths... Go figure.

Megatron considered how best to provoke him into their verbal sparring once more when he spied the perfect opportunity on Optimus’ hip plate. The schematics he’d been guarding like a glitch-hawk.

“You need these for your precious Magnus so badly?” Megatron rumbled, already pleased to think about the uproar he was about to cause in the little Prime, and reached for the pad on his hip.

“Why don’t you just-“

“H-HEY~”

Megatron jerked his hand back and stared in genuine concern at the other’s outburst.

Goodness, had his claws grazed him? Had he touched him in an unwelcome way? He hadn’t meant to do *that* ever. Clearly he should have kept his servos to himself.

Then Optimus jumped to his stabilizers, clapped a palm over his hip and spun with wide optics. Looking at Megatron like he was the creature emerging from the murky depths they’d ran across about three oil expeditions ago. All terror and anticipation -expecting the other to lash out.

Which after that display, Megatron would never even think to harm the little- Oh.

*Oh*.

Now Megatron understood....

Just a look at the horrified, flushing face below him and he *knew* all about Optimus’ most unlikely secret.

He turned wicked optics upon the place at his hip he’d accidentally brushed trying to reach the schematics. It was almost too good to be true, and, ever thorough, Megatron would only let himself believe it with further proof.

“I’m sorry little one.” Megatron sounded absolutely not sorry at all.

He took a step forward -one being enough to close any distance between them in the tiny tent.

Optimus’ finials dipped low, sharp denta sinking into a plush lower lip.

“Did I startle you?” Megatron murmured.

“No!” Optimus hissed, now explicitly offended for this attempt at further humiliation. He was a Prime and a Primus-damned warrior!

He’d survived his spark extinguishing once, he’d defeated Megatron’s attempts at worldwide domination -two worlds at once even. He was not startled!

His hand gripped his sensitive hip a little tighter all the same.

“Aw...” Megatron crooned, followed by a sinful, knowing smirk.

“Unlikely.”

“Megatron!”

Optimus pried his hand away -a fatal mistake- to block the big hands coming out to grab him around the middle and keep some mockery of distance between them in this stuffy tent. All he effectively did was give Megatron an opening.

Claws extending beyond the natural limits of their skewering mercy grazed carefully over his sensitive hip joints in a scratching motion.

The noise Optimus made was undignified at best and mortifying at worst. And in Megatron’s opinion, the stuff of symphonies.

The smaller mech twisted, one knee jerking up and nailing Megatron in the thigh. The warlord couldn’t stop himself from grinning through the pain. Surely looking maniacal.

He scratched his claws up from quivering hips to a delicious spot along each side, receiving a squeal and venomous curse in reward.

Optimus glared through tears, promising painful death when this was all over, before the unrestrained screams overtook him, and he was both leaning in and away from his tormentor.

Megatron accepted his morbid fate in full, that was fair after all. No one should ever disrespect this precious, fearsome bot.

That said, he turned his absolute attention over to making more of those squeak-laugh-sobs bubble out of the little blue mech. The one sinking increasingly sharper claws of his own into Megatron’s servos as desperation took hold.

The Tarnish terror was about to smooth a stroke of his thumb along those slender, shivering hips once more when the light of the nearest star burst through the tent’s entry, signaling Reflectors’ return and the tent opening wide. The three, trying to shuffle in all at once, stopped and considered the sight before them.

Optimus’ finials shot up, optics wide, as he noticed the light filtering in, and the possibility of salvation shining with it. He looked between the three of them and threw pride as far out the evacuation tunnel as possible.

“Don’t leave me here! AH~ Don’t leave m- Please! I-“

And then the light faded away as the three made their speedy exit.

“Wait! WAI-AH!”

Megatron purred in enormous satisfaction to not have to have their little playtime cut short. Sweeping deft fingers around the seams of strong, elite framework that’d weathered much in its short lifecycle.

Optimus’ helm jerked back, a thigh hiking up Megatron’s hip in an effort to use the leverage to push away with it. A poor effort. It only drew him farther up into remarkably large hands -capable of bearing the brunt of his weight like he was little heavier than a case of polish.

———- ———-

The shuttle to take them back was stifled by Reflectors’ awkward looks and Lugnut, eager to see their lord as soon as possible after his trip away, prodding curiously about why Optimus looked like a mech thrown through the wringer for a bot given his necessities and a safe tent away from the heat. And why Megatron was obviously quite gleeful of this.

He ignored all of them, focusing instead on nursing the lingering tingle in his seams away and looking as furious as a bot who’d agreed to join the next expedition in another week after his violent assault so quickly could.

It was for the good of Cybertron, and that alone.

Megatron, delighting in the wayward idea that this might promise him the opportunity of turning his cheekplates pink again so soon, could stuff it.

Optimus had not found that tremendous ordeal amusing one bit. Not one.

——-

Me embarrassing myself for anonymous souls who deserve the world.

[salt-volk]

(TW for doxxing and namecalling) I'm also responding here about the apology I received because I think it's easier than having my response be buried.

I really appreciate the apology. And I forgive you. Everybody makes mistakes, it's a part of being human. Plus there were some totally wild asks being posted about me here and elsewhere.

The smear campaign was absolutely crazy to me. These people or person pretending to be a friend of mine and constantly bringing my name up to keep me in the conversation. It was hard to tell what was happening. At first it was really nice to have someone defending me, but then it just became a nightmare.

I think the worst asks were about me being heartless because I had my custom made to look like my bunny (who passed away), and was willing to trade them. Or the one about how I deserved what happened to my bunny. Oh, and also the doxxing one. A couple people messaged me on burner Discord accounts to say rude things.

I'm guessing, but not knowing for sure, that the smear campaign was started by one of my childhood best friends who used to play on Neopets with me. We had a nasty falling out and never spoke again in person. They've followed me to other sites before, notably daylightpets.com like 10 years ago. The first time I had a problem was when they somehow guessed my password on that site and sent a note to one of my other RL friends saying that I hated them, then released a bunch of my pets and named one of them a really nasty name for gay people. I had just come out as bisexual at the time, so I'm guessing this ex friend is where some of this came from. OR I ended up with a really random stalker in the DV community somehow.

My guess, again I'm not sure, is that they found out from Facebook that I was on Dappervolk because I participated in some of the beta conversations and raffles on there, where you had to post your username. I was also in a Facebook Dappervolk fan group and posted my username in there as well. Which was clearly a mistake, so I've since deleted all of those posts.

I also want to apologize for having an overpriced custom, I realize that was unfair, so I made it public. But then some folks were unhappy because of that, so I just retired it.

And to the points about custom for custom trading, I understand why people would be upset by it. It essentially keeps people from being able to participate in a large part of the site. I do custom for custom trades with the moon bunnies because it's one of the ways for me to be able to participate in the custom part of the site. I hate that the system is setup this way, and I am an advocate for changing it.

I really really appreciate your apology anon. It didn't feel safe to come forward on here, but now that I have, it's been like a weight has lifted.

.

[imjustwritingg]

Since people are asking some fun stuff I was wondering where you got the inspiration to write some of yours fics?

What inspired you to write MIWF? And NBTLYG? What’s some of your favorite things about writing for the Pd fandom and leasts? Ofc you don’t have to answer🤍🤍

Oh, I really do love these questions and I’m happy to answer them!! 🥰

I get inspiration from everything. Music is a big one for me, as well as poems and movies.

The idea for MIWF came from the deleted scene in 5x18 where Jay and Hailey are in her UC apartment and he says, “You’re incredibly aloof about your personal life.” Then she says, “I’m not aloof, I just don’t have one.” I couldn’t stop thinking about why she’d be so secretive about her life and I just love her so much, and am always interested about her backstory that I just got an idea of what if she’s so secretive because she has a kid no one knows about? And it just snowballed from there.

NBTLYG came from a prompt I saw that said, “Best man meets maid of honor for the first time, only it’s not really the first time.” Then I tweaked that into “A bad boy with a trust fund and a shady past gets taken by surprise by a woman who just so happens to be the best friend of his best friend’s soon-to-be-wife.” That reeeeally snowballed and I rewatched a lot of Gossip Girl and the 50 Shades movies for some inspo, and then it became what it is now.

I think my favorite thing about writing for the fandom is the fandom itself. The way we all support each other and defend one another - from content thieves and anon hate. As much as we bicker sometimes over stupid shit like ships or whatever else, there is also a lot of love and genuine appreciation for the content creators in this fandom. We always support one another, whether it’s fic or videos or Imke’s incredible Funkos over on Twitter. It just makes fandom a lot more fun when people are genuinely excited about something you’ve created. It puts a really good feeling inside you.

My least favorite thing would also be the fandom, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. There is sometimes a gross sense of entitlement, and demanding or downright rude asks that come with writing fic especially. Writing fic is a hobby that is done for free and in our own time on top of real life responsibilities, and I think people tend to forget that we’re humans on the other side of the screen. I know I don’t spend all day, every day writing and I’m sure others don’t either. And as often as I’m online, I do have a job and family and friends, and three dogs that I need to help take care of. A little more respect and understanding of people’s time would be appreciated and it goes a long way.

Thank you for the fun questions Anon!! 💕

[recklessmark]

PLEASE PLEASE WRITE A CHEATING ANGST WHERE MARK IS BEING SUCH A JERK ABT IT EVEN THO Y/N CATCHES HIM CHEATING ON HER AND ALSO MAKE THE PERSON MARK IS CHEATING WITH MEAN TOO, those stories are really the best kind of angst - anon ❤️

words count: 1.2k

warnings: angst, cheating

a/n: i have no mood for angst now i’m so sorry. this is not very miserable at all since i refused to let y/n cry pathetically in front of douchebag mark 😡 but hopefully you’ll like it.

you take a sip of your chardonnay, the other hand is still busy scrolling on your phone. your face puts on the best do-not-talk-to-me look while your fingers typing on the screen with a fast speed.

y/n: where are yo-

no, you delete the sentence.

y/n: can you pick me up after work?

delivered.

your fingers idly tap on the bar counter, flashing the bartender an encouraging smile as if you’re not currently having murder on your mind. after about less than 5 minutes, your phone buzzes on the marble surface and you take it in your hands again.

mark: i’m having meeting, i’ll probably stay over at my office either.

your lips curl into a crooked smile. executioner style.

y/n: you better sleep with one eye open tonight.

y/n:

you bite your bottom lip, trying to keep your composure and delete the yet-to-be-sent message. all you’re seeing is red now. mark lee, your lovely boyfriend has the audacity to tell you he’s having a meeting. a two people meeting, one man one woman, in a hotel. little does the two-timing, cheap-lying wannabe know that you’re sitting at the bar of the hotel he takes his side chick in. and you have to clarify that either you and your friends have caught him hang out with other women multiple times but you, a faithful girlfriend, brainlessly believe in him and maybe he will change. the only thing has changed ever since is his loyalty to you, wondrously decreases.

you leave a tip under your glass and jump of the stool. you turn at the corner, walking inside the hotel building. unfortunate for mark is that you have some work here, otherwise you couldn’t catch the sight he wrapped his arm around a girl and walked into the hotel. but work can be done later.

“good evening, how can i help you?” the receptionist greets you politely and you give her a smile. “y/f/n y/l/n, i have a business meeting with mr grey.”

the woman nods and types something on the laptop while you rake your eyes around the building. “floor 8, room 805, ms y/l/n.”

you smile in acknowledgment and turn around to walk away. “oh,” you put on a fake gape and glare back and the receptionist, “may i ask where’s mr lee’s room, i have to take something from him. mark lee please.”

she looks confused but obliges your command anyway. “floor 8, room 802.” you give her a “thank you” and stroll toward the elevator. god must be unpleasant with mark so that his room is on the same floor with yours. you take your phone out and decide to reply the previous message of him.

y/n: i have a meeting at imperial building either, we can go home together.

delivered.

adrenaline and rage rushing inside your veins as the monitor screen displays the red number 8. you take your steps slowly, the sound of your heels clicking against the floor reverberates around the empty floor.

801-805

seeing the gold banner on the wall, you turn at the corner. your head dizzy as you think about what’s happening inside the 802 room. standing in front of the wide wooden door, you decisively press your finger on the doorbell. just once and patiently wait for someone to open the door. although every room is soundproof but you can hear a small voice from the inside after about two minutes, you’re not complaining though, you have big heart for patience.

a ‘genuine’ smile plasters on your face as the door flings opened, revealing a woman- your coworker surprisingly and she only has a towel wrapped around her body. “hi,” you say and walk inside before she could process anything that’s going on. “where’s mark? mark lee.” you ask and opposite of your nonchalance, she makes a quite smart decision to throw a tantrum.

“what the hell y/n?! if you know he doesn’t even like you anymore why are you here? he will never go home so don’t cry and beg for it!”

“where’s ma-“ you calmly repeat yourself and suddenly you see your boyfriend gets out of the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around his hips either. his toned chest and abs look nice but they’ll be better if there’s some bullets shot through. “oh mister executioner, i was wondering where you are.”

mark gapes as he sees you, apparently hasn’t read your new message. he heard haven - his side chick was yelling and he was curious what she’s so frantic about. and now he understands.

you sit down at the cafe table and cross your legs. “you may speak now.” you flash him a reluctant smile.

“speak what? he has nothing to explain-“

“look,” mark cuts haven off and starts his meaningless explanation, “i don’t love you anymore, you’re always busy and your spare time is for work either!”

“my spare time is for work?!” you exclaim, “you are the one who fucking cancel all our dates and hangs out with your side chicks! you think i’m stupid that i’m totally clueless about what you do behind my back?” your voice is shaky yet you try to keep it as steady as possible. you’re not going to cry in front of him and his bitch.

“you call who’s a side chick?” haven yells, pointing her finger at you and you dart your eyes at her, “i’m not talking to you, don’t let me lose the tiny respect i’m still having for you. we’re both women and we work together, i don’t want to be rude.”

“you’re fucking fake as hell-“

“shut up,” mark shouts, making the woman shut her mouth and then turns back to you. “don’t act like you’re not flirting with other men at work, you’re a whore!” he says loudly and you’re practically speechless.

mark calls you a whore.

“since when i flirt with men?” you ask in a calm, quiet tone. you have completely no idea what he’s talking about because you’re certain that you only keep a professional and friendly relationship with any man you know except of mark.

“haven sent me a lot of photos of you and other guys,” he remarks and now you understand, your eyes give your shameless coworker a death stare as she’s avoiding your gaze. “who has the interest in this affair first?”

“me,” mark responds. now he knows how to he honest. “i like her first.”

you let out a chuckle unexpectedly, “so you like hannah, sophia, iris and my best friend as well?” it’s unbelievable that you still have faith in this man even though he hit on your best friend once and she’s already warned you about it.

as mark can’t say anything to defend himself, you stand up, “i’ll pack up your things and send it to your address. don’t ever walk into my place again.” you give him the last peck on his thin lips and walk away but not before giving your coworker a reminder.

“you’ve heard what i said, i hope you’re not the one who chooses to be stupid now.”

slamming the door close, you let out a heavy breath, feeling you’re about to stumble on your weak knees. you love mark so much that it blinds you, no matter how many times you saw him with other women, you still pretended to be clueless. you keep him beside you since you think that he will change but it’s just your one-way deduction which unfortunately could not be true. you hold back the tears in your watering eyes, you will cry when you’re home, not before you get your work done.

[kinktae]

(Hope this ask catches your attention lol) 

OK so lil story, I sent in an asked to another author about one of the plot points in their fanfiction because it just was not making sense to me and they answer back in a really rude way, after I sent them another ass saying oh “I wasn’t trying to be rude, like this is just a genuine question. I’m sorry if it sounded rude” and they proceeded to call me a couple of a…… gross names and said if I “wasn’t smart enough to read fanfiction then don’t do it.” This made me feel a little insecure because not that anyone would/needs to know but I have a learning disability which affects how I read. So this kind of thing is lowkey a fear of mine.  not that they would have any way of knowing this, so I don’t fault them for that but it’s just one of those things if you know what I mean. (Also they were getting flack for being rude so they deleted it which kind of made me feel better that people were not just shitting on me, even when some people were agreeing with the writer)

!!ANYWAY MY POINT IS!!

I’ve been reading your stuff since 2018 and I have sent and asks of all kinds including asking you different questions or talking about your story etc. and I just have to say you are genuinely one of the sweetest writers! You never get annoyed when people ask questions, you’re never rude unless someone is being rude to you, and your writing is so good I have never read a piece of yours that I haven’t been in love with. Your blog is really comforting and I just want you to know that like I appreciate your work so much!!!!  i’ve never had the courage to come off of anonymous and I don’t think I would with this one, but if I ever were to come off anonymous it will definitely be on your blog because I know this is a safe space, not just for different opinions about BTS but just in general. So basically I just wanted you to know that I’m so happy I found your blog.  I really hope you continue writing and doing this so long as it makes you happy, I know as I’m sure many people can agree with me that if you no longer enjoy this I wouldn’t want you to force it just because you have a platform.  I hope you’re having a great day Rose and please continue to be the positive person that you are -✨🤍

First of all let me just say my heart actually BREAKS to see you have an interaction with a fellow content creator like that. What the FUCK. I’ve been pretty vocal about this from the start of my blog… I disagree with A LOT of authors on how they speak to their anons. There are several authors on this platform that I refuse to support solely because of the way they speak to the people that support them.

What I’m about to say is not a popular opinion…. I know this…. I know what it’s like to be hounded for updates or have an anon come across with a possibly malicious tone… and I know the hurt that comes from it. But what I’ve harped back then and still now is that I’d rather be kind to someone who has bad intentions, than be cruel to someone with good ones. Not everyone reads every one of ur previous asks. Not everyone even knows to check ur faq. Not everyone knows how to properly communicate their tone through text. So to berate and bully them when they took the time out of ur day to read ur content and reach out to communicate… well it just doesn’t sit right with me.

I’m seen some real bullshit in my days on this site. I’ve literally seen and author say “lol I can write something less than 2k and have my followers begging me for a sequel.” I’ve seen people call their readers names. It’s as if people lose touch with the fact that without their readers, they HAVE no platform. Bonkers.

(KEEP IN MIND IM NOT REFERRING TO ACTUAL HATE ANONS. Fellow authors, YOURE absolutely in ur right to tear them a new one if an anon is being disrespectful and objectively cruel!!)

At the end of the day, everyone is allowed to run their blog how they please, and everyone is allowed to express their frustration how they seem fit, especially when it comes to something as personal as their creative content, but the way that author treated you was unkind and I’m so sorry you underwent that. I hope you can trust that not every ff writer is like that, and can see that many of us are truly grateful for the readers we DO have, no matter the quantity.

You guys are half of the reason I pour my heart into my fics, in hopes that it will resonate with you and perhaps offer a piece of solace or comfort. Yes I started writing and continue to because I love the means of expression it offers, but it was you guys that gave the words I wrote meaning. It was you guys that found reassurance in the bits and pieces of myself that I put into all my characters. This blog is truly my happy place. And you guys are my people. I love you guys and I love you anon. Thank you for sticking around ❤️

[t0shii]

% doing oikawa's makeup

.! timeskip! oikawa x gn!r

.! fluff/ not proofread

.! okay so i accidentally deleted ur ask (oikawa lashes anon) but i wanted to get this out bc youve been waiting for a long ass time & feel bad 😔 i changed it to doing his makeup in general bc i thought it would easier to right and read but ofc i still included the lashes!

you'd felt his gaze on the back of your head and hearing his dramatic sighs for attention for five minutes now and finally, you've had enough. you turn around in your chair, "toru do you need something?" he smiles, satisfied that he finally got your attention, "actually i had a question." he gets up from his spot on your bed, makes his over to stand in front of you and grabs both of your hands in his, swinging them side to side. "well get on with it." you tease and he scrunches his nose, "okay a. rude, watch your tone with me b. i want you to do my makeup!" your kind of surprised at his request, but also excited "oh, really?" he nods eagerly before letting go of your hands and pulls a chair up to sit on, "pleeeeeease y/n just this once? i'll do anything for you in return." he gives you the puppy dog eyes he always does, "toru i was gonna say yes anyways but now that you say that... if i do this for you i want you to take me out for boba tomorrow, deal?" "okay deal."

he sits as still as a stone for you while you, in his words, 'doll him up.' he chooses the eyeshadow, blush pretty much everything and when you let him know that the blush might be a little too orange for the shadow he chose he nods and you help him choose a different one. "okay now the real question is, do you want to wear lashes?" he thinks a minute on your question, "like the fake ones you always let me tear off your eyes?" give him a weird look before saying a hesitant 'yes.' "then yes of course i wanna wear em!" you nod, ok these are your choices, i recommend these, you point to a pair which weren't heavy, because these other ones are too heavy and you point to the heave ones. "hmmm i'll with the lighter ones then." "okay it might feel weird at first." you mumble, focused on getting the eyelash onto his eye right, and when you do, you blow on it so the glue will dry faster and then you push the lashes on on his other eye, "there all done! look in the mirror!" he gasps dramatically "look how pretty i am!"

he drags you to your bathroom to take mirror pictures and definitely hires you as his own personal photographer for the rest of the day, wines when he finally has to take all the makeup off his face and pouts bc 'it really hurt' when he took off the lashes.

[itsclydebitches]

Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.

[djarrex]

Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh). 

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that. 

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.  

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask? 

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you. 

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.  

<3 

M

[theskywaslookingback]

hey ignore that last thing i wrote and then deleted this version is way better and also maybe something i’ll work on who knows, thanks anon sorry i deleted your ask but this one is way better.

The sun shines down, spilling dappled sunlight through the leaves across twigs and rocks splotches with patches of soft, damp moss. There’s birdsong carried on the soft, late summer air, drifting in and out alongside the burble of a nearby brook and chorus of frogs. A twig snaps under a clumsy, uneven gait and Jonathan Sims grumbles as he readjusts his pack where it rests heavily against his sore shoulders, swatting a tree branch out of the way as he crashes through the underbrush. He follows an underused path through the forest, one rarely trekked except for those brave enough, or desperate enough to take it.

Follow the three hills rise along the rush of the rising current, right at the elm which houses the witch’s heart, and make way past the bloody-

A rabbit darts out the way of his thundering path, it’s back paws skittering amongst the dead leaves and dirt. Jon kicks a pebble and swats at another tree branch, narrowing his eyes in search of whatever stupid landmark the locals had deemed spooky enough to mark the path toward the witch’s cottage.

Over the hills near the brook, right at the wych elm, and--

There's a large boulder, moss crawling up the side of it like a coat, a ring of mushrooms near the very base. 

Jon is very careful not to step near the mushrooms.

Now where…

The path, though Jon finds that an ill-fitting term as there was nothing that clearly defined the way he’d walked as any such thing, seemed to split in two different directions. There was a little more well defined trail on the side opposite the faerie ring, but Jon couldn’t remember exactly which way he was supposed to go. The old man who’d been the only one willing to give him directions had been infuriatingly vague and cryptic about the whole thing.

If I were a creepy magic witch that lived in the forest, where would I be?

Jon huffed and struck down the path that seemed the least used, giving the faerie ring a wide berth. It wasn’t that he believed in faeries, but, well...he’d already tested his luck as far as the supernatural went and that had gone very poorly. Jon was in no mood to test his luck again.

He huffed and struggled his way past twisting trees and bramble bushes, catching and nicking the sleeve of the large jumper he was wearing. He cursed, pulling himself free. The sweltering heat does nothing to assuage his boiling temper, clothed as he is in the biggest jumper he could find and a scarf despite it being well into August. He tries not to think about it so much, despite the itch of it against his skin and the choking heat.

Soon, he tries to tell himself, soon.

It’s almost night by the time Jon stumbles upon the cottage, all dark stone and black roofed. A wrought iron gate surrounds the property, flanked on both sides by enormous rose bushes too immense not to be magic themselves. Just inside the gate sits a little garden, full of greenery and flowers that remind Jon of things like foxglove and wormwood. The shutters, dark stained wood, are closed to give the impression of one not being home. The smoke curling gently from the chimney leaves little doubt, however, as to if the abode is occupied. Jon imagines a cauldron bubbling over a fire, full of toads eyes and newts tongues, and shivers despite the heat.

In the distance an owl hoots. Jon can no longer hear the clamour of foxes and rabbits in the brush, or toads singing their low songs in the distance. Now, faced with the end of his journey, Jon hesitates. His hand is just shy of the gate, though he can’t make himself open it. It would be rude, wouldn’t it, to go up and knock at this late hour. The sun is just barely peeking itself above the horizon now, the moon bright and full up in the sky. 

He’ll come back in the morning, he decides. 

He’ll find a place to make his little camp and come back. 

He will.

He just has to move, first.

Jon is mid discussion with his limbs, reminding them how to function again, when the door to the cottage swings open. 

Light spills out from inside the home and a man steps out, giving him a puzzled look. 

“What are you doing out here?” He asks. 

He’s- He is the most beautiful man Jon has ever seen in his life. Long black hair pulled back away from his face, pale grey eyes, and small tattoos across his knuckles and the base of his neck. “I- I-” Jon swallows, floundering, “that is to say, um-”

The man raises an eyebrow, and honestly he’s so beautiful it’s unfair.

Jon takes a deep breath. He’s practiced this. He can do this. 

“My name is Jonathan Sims and I came here looking for help. A witch has put a curse on me and I heard you could help reverse it.”

“Where did you hear that?”

Jon opens his mouth. Closes it. “In...town? Are you-- are you the witch that lives in the woods?”

The man stares at him for a long moment before cracking into a grin. He looks like he’s smothering down a laugh. “Oh, you’ll be wanting Martin then. Easy mistake.”

“Wh-what?” 

The man flaps a hand in the direction Jon  came from. “He’s my neighbor. You’re probably, oh, the third or fourth person this month that’s missed him. It’s getting a bit late, though-”

“I know, I-I’m sorry,” Jon says, “I was going to find a place to make camp, I- thank you. I’ll just-”

“Nonsense,” The man makes a vague gesture toward Jon, “you can stay here tonight. I’ll walk you over to Martin’s in the morning.”

“Oh, I-I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“I don’t mind. I don’t get visitors too often.”

Jon hesitates at the gate a moment longer, before lifting the latch and letting himself through.

The man smiles and offers him a hand, which Jon takes carefully so that the man’s fingers wrap mostly around the fabric of his jumper. The man’s hands are lovely, a bit rough and calloused but slender and strong. “Gerry,” The man says, which Jon assumes is his name.

“Thank you, Gerry.” 

“Of course, Jon.” Gerry says warmly, “Though, a bit of friendly advice? You might be a bit more careful about giving your name away to just anyone in these woods.”

“Ah-”

Gerry steps back, an odd light in his eyes, and lets Jon enter the cottage.

[script-nef]

I come for the interaction and the food | Miya Osamu

Category: crack, fluff

2k words; pseudo-reddit thread of Onigiri Miya

The owner of Onigiri Miya

Yo dudes. So my friend was raving about the onigiri shop for ages, and she was so damn relentless that I gave in. And I like onigiri in the first place, especially negitoro, so I went (is this TMI?). Anyway I was like???? So damn shook when I went in because the owner is like???? Damn??? He's so hot and I am simping for him, and the female population in the shop was as well like hearts were flying out of their eyes. I'm going to go there every day and ugh I know it’s cheesy and cliché but I hope he notices me or something like that DON’T JUDGE I’M LONELY OKAY??

Comments [Anon]: I KNOW RIGHT LIKE EVERYONE IS IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HIS ONIGIRI UGH FOOD FOR THE EYES AS WELL AS THE STOMACH

[Anon]: Y’all are simping for a real person and I just have to say: LMAO ME TOO UGH HE’S JUST REALLY HOT AND PATIENT AND HIS VOICE IS SO NICE  

[Anon]: YASSS HE REALLY IS AND HE ALWAYS COMES UP WITH NEW MENUS AND LETS SOME OF US TRY SAMPLES BUT IT’S ALWAYS. AMAZING. HE’S AN ONIGIRI GOD, I TELL YOU.

→ Continue thread

[Anon]: Um, OP? I don't know how to tell you this but… He has a girlfriend… like a really cute girlfriend who he’s been dating for years now.

[Anon]: Say what?

[Anon]: Hey what. What. I didn’t know this. I’ve been visiting his shop for like 3 months and I didn’t know this. What. 

[OP]: Oh. Great. My romance has died even before it started. ;^;

[Anon]: Well you can join us obsessing over their relationship! She visits a lot and they’re cute all the damn time so frequent customers made a small online group to share episodes. 

→ Continue thread

I just saw Hime and wow, damn

So I went to OM today—because wow it’s so delicious please open a second shop MyaSamu—and my eyes were blessed because WHO DID I SEE?? YEP, IT WAS HIME. 

Like y’all know how he calls her Hime as a nickname, which is so [censored] cute, and SHE LIVES UP TO THE NAME. There’s like, a graceful aura around her and it’s sort of blinding? As soon as you see her, it’s like “Ah, yep. That’s her. No one else can be called Hime other than her.” 

AND SHE GOT SO FLUSTERED WHEN I CALLED HER HIME BY ACCIDENT!! It just literally slipped out because I’m a [censored] idiot like that and she turned so red! And started hitting MyaSamu out of embarrassment! But her hits didn’t even look that painful and he was smiling so happily. My eyes were blessed that day.

Comments [Anon]: Oh my god you’re so lucky, I want to see him smile… I mean, he does, but apparently he smiles differently when he’s with Hime and I know that if I see that, my day will instantly become better.

[Anon]: Oh dude, you are not wrong. He somehow becomes more radiant. Just. How?

[Anon]: Imagine being that cute and beautiful together. What a power couple.

[Anon]: You know what happened once? I was really down while I was eating there because I got a bad grade, and she came over to talk to me!! Because apparently I looked way too sad and she was worried about me! UGH I’M FALLING FOR YOU HOW ARE YOU THIS KIND?! ARE YOU AN ACTUAL ANGEL?

[Anon]: This just confirmed, Hime was never human. She is the epitome of angelic grace here to save us and MyaSamu is so blessed for being with her.

Y’all are weird as [censored], why do you do this [censored]

Why are you guys obsessing over real people like that? I would be creeped out if I knew anyone does this, you guys are invading their privacy. Get a life and stop being so damn disturbing.

Comments [Anon]: ??? He knows about this. He literally checks up on this site a couple of times per week. He explicitly said to many customers “Thanks for liking me and my girlfriend so much. You guys are funny.” The [censored] are you on?

[Anon]: I asked Hime once before and she said it’s fine as well unless we’re stalking them or some [censored] like that. And we don’t. We’re just exchanging stories on our interactions with them inside the shop and how cute they are. He said it actually helps with his revenues and sales. 

[Anon]: Literally. They’re just really cute. Like you look at them and boom, you have diabetes, no exceptions.

[Anon]: I think he said like half of his new customers came after seeing this thread, so back off

Ignore that person, GUESS WHO I SAW

Y’all might be thinking Hime, and yes, I did see her as well. BUT I ALSO SAW ATSUMU! He was hanging with Hime and teasing her so much. Then MyaSamu got annoyed and they nearly brawled there lmao perfect representation of siblings.

Hime tried to stop them and when they kept on fighting, she slapped them both on the back and shouted for them to cool it. MyaSamu I guessed since they’re going out, but she tamed Atsumu. Atsumu. My heart thumped because she was so awesome. Like, you’re cool, kind, sweet, amazingly pretty and on top of that, badass as well? Lady, you should be designated as a national treasure.

Comments [Anon]: Bruh. I live super close to OM. I go there practically every week. I’ve filled out the coupon like, 5 times. I’ve never met Hime once. AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU SAW HIME AS WELL AS ATSUMU???? WHY HAVE THE GODS FORSAKEN ME??

[Anon]: How cool was she? I can’t imagine Atsumu folding to anyone that’s not his parents.

[Anon]: I feel like he would be rude to his own parents tho lol

[Anon]: True true

[OP]: She was like, the epitome of cool. Based on the sound of the slap I would have been rolling on the floor while crying in pain but they kind of seem used to it or something? She just glowered at them and they immediately shut up. I wonder if she was like that when they started dating as well.

[Anon]: I find it funny that everyone is focusing on Hime while Miya Atsumu, division 1 volleyball player and one of the members of Japan’s national team, is right there.

[Anon]: Atsumu pales in comparison to Hime. This is a fact.

[Samu]: True

[Anon]: ??? The [censored]? Are my eyes working? Is that… actually Osamu? As in like, the Osamu that we’re talking about? Like the owner of OM?

[Samu]: Yes

[Anon]: Okay then bye I’m never coming here ever again. Goodbye y’all and watch me die haha [censored]

Friend of Samu and “Hime”

I can’t really believe this actually exists but it’s really funny and kinda cringey to see everyone fawn over Osamu and “Hime” like this. I've been their friend since high school and let me give you a fact: “Hime”’s nickname during her time in school was Janus like the two faced God. Because she’s really nice all the time but once she gets angry, it’s over for everyone. Everyone. 

So what do y’all do here, just share stories?

Comments [Anon]: Holy [censored] what. What. CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THEM?? WHAT WERE THEY LIKE IN SCHOOL? WERE THEY STILL CUTE AND SWEET LIKE THE BEST BRAND OF CHOCOLATE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD????

[Anon]: YEAH LIKE WHITE CHOCOLATE

[Anon]: I’m sorry, but if you think white “chocolate” is good then please keep that [censored] to yourself because that [censored] embarrassing.

[Anon]: White chocolate is good!

[Anon]: You’re an embarrassment to humankind.

→ Continue thread

[Anon]: As the person on the above thread has said, could you share little stories of how they were like in school? If they’re fine with it?

[OP]: Hmm… well I’ll ask first. 

I got the permission

Hm, I don’t really know what to say about their relationship though. I was friends with them for a long while but it wasn’t really surprising when they started dating. Osamu’s liked her for years. I heard they were childhood friends and were stuck at the hip with Atsumu as well, but she was closer to Osamu. Though that’s kind of a given, what with Atsumu’s [censored] personality.

She was one of the school council members and really popular as well. Always eager to help people, has a smile on her face and a complete disaster. She’s so damn clumsy and uncoordinated that I once saw her trip on air. On air. How. She’s terrible at cooking as well, like apocalyptic level. She somehow managed to burn rice in home economics class even with three other people keeping an eye on her. It was actually pretty impressive.

Anyway, Osamu was absolutely smitten with her and everyone with eyes or common sense could see it. Except for… you guessed it, her. He would literally be tripping over himself to help her and we were all like “boy, please be more subtle you are killing us”. Especially Atsumu since he had to deal with that even at home because they’re neighbours. I once took a photo of him making the most disgusted and annoyed face, but it got deleted when I changed my phone. An international loss.

Where was I going with this? Oh right, how they went out. I gotta go to sleep so I’ll post that later.

Comments [Anon]: ???? YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THAT??? HOW ARE YOU SO CRUEL THIS ISN’T FAIR I CAN’T GO TO SLEEP BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

[Anon]: EXCUSE ME ARE YOU SKILLED IN TORTURE BECAUSE I AM LITERALLY DYING YOU CAN’T JUST BOUNCE AFTER TELLING US THAT. COME BACK!!!!

[Anon]: Dudes I have a good idea. Let’s spam them with comments.

[Anon]: Oh ho, smart, smart. 

[Anon]: Dude

[Anon]: Dude

[Anon]: Dude

[Anon]: Dude

[Anon]: Dude

[Anon]: Dude

[Anon]: Dude

[Anon]: Dude

LOAD MORE

Damn you guys are persistent

Chill, I need my sleep as well. 

Alright, this was a while ago so some facts might be inaccurate. Also she forbade anyone from commenting on it during school. It’s fine now though, and thankfully I was sitting next to them when it happened.

So Osamu always brings bentos and makes hers as well. He used to make them for Atsumu as well (unwillingly but had to since he complained about it so much) but stopped after like, the second time because they got into a fight. I think the reason was that Atsumu was whining too much about how he doesn’t like some of the side-dishes and Osamu snapped. That was a fun day.

We were eating in the classroom and enjoying our lunch when she blurted out something like “Osamu, you’re so good at cooking! You’d be a great chef. Your wife would want to let you cook for the entire time you’re together!” Which was fine because everyone knows he’s good at cooking. I think that’s what you guys call a gap moe or something, I dunno.

And Osamu just stared at her. You know what moment when you just feel something bad is going to happen? Like that chill in your back? Yeah, it was that. I sensed that from Osamu. Atsumu probably got it as well because our eyes locked and the red alarm of “STOP HIM” flashed in front of both our eyes.

But before we could interrupt, Osamu just smiled and said “I can cook for you like that if you want.” And I [censored] you not, everyone went quiet. We were staring at him like “??? Did you just propose before even asking her out on a date?” And her face, oh god I didn’t know her face could be that red or that her eyes could be so big. She was literally frozen while trying to eat like the rest of us watching them.

When she stayed frozen, it was like there was an error message saying “[Name].exe has stopped working. What the [censored] did you do.” above her head. Osamu eventually moved and dragged her out of the classroom. And they didn’t come back until the bell rang for the next class.

I don’t know what happened during the talk, but I guess he finally confessed because they were holding hands when they came back. 

Anyway, yeah. That’s the story of how they went out. I have to sleep again so bye.

Comments [Anon]: WHAT THE [censored]