#and it was a struggle even though they're really simple shapes

[kaleidoru]

recycled some designs into these two Very Evil Imps

[threepandas]

After The War: Foxx Hunting (Prev <-)

"Commander."

On anyone else, the tone would suggest simple statement. But there was a lilt. A slight inflection, I had long learned to spot, at the end of the word. That made it a greeting. A call. Monotone filled with subtle, near untraceable mocking.

"Tired of running yet, Commander? Or do you want to struggle more? You can, if you want. I can let you. We have time. After all, it really won't change much. There's no where you can go."

Head tilted ever so slightly, at an almost an invisible angle. Posture, military perfect, impossibly so. That perfection bought with pain, torture, born out of brutal necessity. His lips quirked, in an amused curl. At just that same, impossibly slight amount. Too small and indistinct for his tormentors to notice. To take from him.

Just enough to stay human, I had thought. Too stay sane, I had hoped.

I was wrong.

My biggest mistake hunted me. Had all the power in the GALAXY now, to hunt me. All the time he could ever dream, in which to do so. And it was all my fault. Me. It had to be. I... I was the only thing that changed. Tried to make things... things BETTER!

How arrogant. Hubristic. Who the fuck was I? To think I had the RIGHT, to shape and change the fate of an entire GALAXY to my whims? I didn't even know the story. Had been GUESSING, based off STAR WARS. So... so fucking confident. A-and what did that get me? Oh god. O-Oh god!

The blaster burns on my arms and legs screamed, as I forced myself up, one more time. Always, please god, always! J-just one more time! Don't give out on me yet. Not.. not until we are safe. Then. Then! We can cry. Howl and weep, break down and scream.

(My fault. My Fault. MY FAUL-)

None of the characters were an exact match. People were and weren't where they should be. Plots happened out of sequence or not at all. So why? WHY? Did I believe so hard in the Clones? IS it because I loved, still LOVE, the Vode? Did that trust transfer? That emotional connection? Was I tricked? Or was I just a fool? Does it MATTER in the end? If the result is the same?

I brought a monster, straight to Power.

Now they're dead. All my brothers, my sisters, my mentors and friends. Dead, dead, DEAD! Glowing weapons on the ground and a temple filled with DEATH. D-Did the nurseries get out? Please, oh god, let the children have survived my mistake.

Blood stains my robes. Only a tiny fraction of it, is mine.

Sticky and slick, oily and so many colors. The blood does not mix. Too many species, too much ash from the air. If I do not clean or remove it soon? I am likely to get chemical burns, from the reactions developing on the cloth. But again and again. My mistake finds me. A pursuit predator. Intent on wearing me down.

"How long will you try, Commander? You know just as well as I do, that I can afford to wait you out. You'll drop eventually." His tone was so mild, even as his words were horrifying. Overhead, a transport kept steady pace, as I desperately ran from commandos on the streets. "How many days has it been without proper rest? Rations? To stop and think? We've survived far worse then this, Commander. For far longer. We can endure, can you?"

I pull my magic around me, through my screaming legs, to fling myself across a jump they shouldn't be able to make.

Despair surges, as behind me... I hear jetpacks. Ah. They've gotten better gear, at long last. E-Everything I've ever wished for them. Gear and food and safety, at long last! A-At long last. I have to laugh, hysterical and afraid. I just... I just never thought my wish? Would be fulfilled for the purpose of hunting me down.

(I'm so tired. Please, god. No more. Let it stop. Let this nightmare END!)

Jumping, I land in a roll on a level several floors down. The impact is ugly. Agony on my burns and bruises. I may have not taken any direct hits? But those glancing strikes? Still leave marks. Trails of seared, blistering, blaster burns. Like tiger strips. As though you hade been struck, by whip made of fire. Not to mention the concussion grenades.

Yeah, half way through the attack, the Clones had stumbled. Either broken free of the Not Sith's control or come to their senses, deciding to switch to non-lethal weapons. Probably trying to go for the capture instead of the kill. But given the sheer variety of the Knights? One Being's sedative was another's lethal toxin. And the gas attacks...

I... I'm still not even sure if... if Master Rim'Llahiy survived long enough, to get to the healers. The seizures were BAD. He... he didn't deserve that. All he'd ever done, was keep the gardens. Live a quite life. T...Try to defend his home.

Around me, as I run, screens light up. Somehow, I'm the focal point. I... I don't know how he's doing this. It has to be Sketch or Gear, one of the Slicers. Who else could hack into so many systems so easily? The... the knowledge that they're helping him? That everyone of the Guard is HELPING him hunt me? I feel sick.

Was any of it real? Was I friends with ANY of them? Or... Or was I just them happy little slave master, patting myself on the back, because I didn't beat them, unlike the others? Aren't I gracious. Don't you just love me? Say thank you for my grace. Let me feel good about my self! My pretty little charity of the day! Before I skip back off to fairy land! Leaving you all in hell.

Do I deserve this? I... I have to deserve this... right?

Even though I tried. Even though I fought and fought and FOUGHT. Even when that Not A Sith BASTARD tried to kill me at every turn, just to shut me the fuck up, and I WOULDN'T. Because they deserved to be free. Because it was WRONG. Because we took VOWS, remember? Days and days, convincing and campaigning.

I have to... to somehow, deserve this. Because? B-because if I DON'T?

Then What Have I DONE?

City levels and blocks blur together. I couldn't tell you where on this god forsaken ecumenopolis I am anymore. But the others! The others have gotten off planet by now. Surely... surely! They have escaped! Right? They HAVE too. I-It HAS to have been worth it. Becoming bait. M-making myself a target. This... this one last time?

It.. it was WORTH it. Right? Right?!

Please! Please god! Let it have been WORTH IT!!

I skid around a corner. Too tight, not judging it right in my panic, my shoulder clipping the wall hard. Scraping flesh through my robes. Just more bruises and hurt to add to the pile. I don't slow. Can't slow. Feel it but push the pain away. The crash later will be ugly, when I release the magics flowing through me. When the adrenaline fades. But... but either I will live to endure it? Or it will not matter at all.

Too late, though, I see the trap.

I have been corralled. Like a a sheep from my first life, harried by dogs into a pen. Tricked into a corner. No where left to go. The platform I thought was a street? Was an alley between two buildings, leading to a third. A perfect little killbox with only one way out. I stumble, horrified, as I register the truth too late. Spin, already knowing it's too late to double back. But hoping... HOPING....!

Jetpacks. The commando squadron of the guards, touching down at the entrance, a solid line of armor and skill. Better weapons, jet packs, upgraded armor. They... they even seem rested. For the first time in years.

A stark reversal. Now it is I, who is barely holding on. Now I am the one, who has been ground to dust, by the exhaustion of fighting without end. Of running and running. No real food and no real rest. No medicine. No help coming. I want to laugh, scream, weep. So it's to be poetic justice, is it?

But I can not give in.

Forgive me. But I can not, WILL NOT give in. Body exhausted, I draw my blade. The plasma humming as the magics charge. The alleyway fills with light. I took Vows. Owe my soul to the Galaxy and it's people. Regardless of Regime, I have service I must complete. And to do that? I have to be alive.

(I don't care, that they took over. Let them have it. But how could you? How COULD YOU?! The Temple was my home. I am a hypocrite. Here, at the end, I must face that. And now I know it to be true.)

The ship over head dips lower, kicking up a hurricane of wind. My robes whip around me, but I do not move from my opening stance. Ready, not ready, but resigned to it none the less. The Commandos are a silent wall as, from above, a rip cord descends. Clipped to it? Marshall Commander... no, Supreme Commander Foxx.

The Clones newly elected Emperor.

A man I THOUGHT was my friend.

He looked nothing like Commander Fox of the Vode. Hair too long and curling. Face deceptively young looking and boyish. Non regulation piercing hidden under the helmet all Guards wore, day in and day out. They hadn't been able to customize their armor like the others. So they customized themselves.

He wasn't in armor, now. It was somehow worse. The dress uniform an affront, a reminder, like a curse of broken glass. I... I hadn't even known he owned such a thing. It made sense, given his old position. Yet, somehow... somehow? I doubted this was the uniform he had been given. It looked... looked Regal.

"Are we done, now? Got it out of your system? Or should one of us put you on the ground first? Grind your face right against the filthy floor?"

His voice was mild as ever, as he calmly unclipped himself, let the cord retract. He tucked his hands behind his back. Strolled forward with measured steps, assessing eyes, like a general examining untested troops. Picking me apart for weakness, looking for openings in my stance. Injuries on my body. I had seen him do this before. Just... just never thought... it'd be used... a-against me. (How arrogant, I had been.)

"This can stop at any time, Commander. All you have to do? Is stop running. You don't have to worry anymore. I'm not going to hurt you. We're not going to hurt you. You've struggled long enough, don't you think? It's time to be done. To come home. Be taken care off. That's all we want to do, Darling. Commander."

"Surely you can see, that it's BETTER this way? No more war. No more Knights on sabotaged missions. Diplomats to war zones. Children where they shouldn't BE. The Order can be SAFE now. YOU can be safe now. Loved and precious as you always should have been. It's okay now, Commander. Come here. It's okay..."

Foxx's eyes blazed with conviction. They had been brown, like his brothers. They... oh god, they SHOULD have been brown. But as I stared into his face, at those unfamiliar eyes on what should be so familiar a form? Red stared back. The red, Red, RED, of the Fallen.

Foxx had been... had been Energy Sensitive. The Cloners had fucking LIED, when they said it wasn't possible. I had always suspected. Didn't dare bring attention to it. Didn't want my friend to be... to be KILLED. Experimented on. I should have trained him. Done more.

Desperate people will reach for anything, to stop themselves from drowning. And the Dark offers such tempting things. Vengeance and Power. Freedom, no matter the cost. It pays sweetly then corrupts slow. There is always a cost.

I can not risk it.

Shifting my weight to my front leg, in preparation to surge forward, I never get the chance. A two fold thwip! And sharp pinch in my upper arm. I got the first. But the second... a? Dart? No. NO! Panicked, I flood my body with the magics meant to purge drugs and... instantly the world spins. I have somehow just made it worse. W-what?

"Confiscated from slavers, 'bout five months back. It's a high end drug." The Commando with the dart gun said, as though commentingon the weather. "Fairly new, too. Made to react specifically to the Cosmic Energies. Our esteemed Chancellor, may he rot as he deserves, had them developed through several shell companies."

"Really wish you hadn't done that, Commander. Cause, see, the side effects? Are pretty nasty." Foxx commented. Various helmets nodded, the guards body language sympathetic but lacking any remorse. What ever it took to bring me in. To make me Safe.

"Now you're going to be sick for a while. But on the other hand? You are a stubborn one. So maybe this'll give you time to think, hmm? Time to enjoy the pampering a bit. You'll get used to it, learn to be good for me. I know you. You're a smart girl."

My legs couldn't hold me anymore. Despite struggling, I couldn't keep my blade at the ready. Helplessly, I watched as he watched forward. Used a single finger, on the hilt, to push my blade to the side. The lightest of tugs, stealing it from me entirely. At long last, the tears came. I... I was scared. Really, really scared. P-please... Foxx, please...

"Hunts over, Commander. It's time to stop running. You've lost."

"But, that? That's okay. You can lose now. Be weak. Wretched and pathetic and flawed. You don't have to be perfect any more, Commander. I've got you. You're Mine. Ours. Perfect, just the way you are. And today?"

"Today is the start of the rest of your new life, Commander."

"Welcome to the Empire."

[matchalovertrait]

#showusyourcasstyle

tagged by @usonofallama! thank you, lovely :)

putting everything under the cut because i started rambling lol

Whose sim closet would you raid? townie, mutual, or your own

The closests of Dulce, perolesim's Cherry, Liliana, Matteo, simscici's Juniper, and Mimli.

The thing is I only really wear black with some dark cherry red and camo green, but I think I could manage! I love flared jeans, newsboy caps, baggy jeans, skirts, flannels, lace, beanies, overalls, giant boots, belts, stripes, chains, layering, and accessorizing.

Here is a link of my Pinterest board, which showcases my personal style :)

What references shaped your CAS style?

Acubi fashion, Jet Set Radio Future, 2000s flash dress up games, telenovelas with small-town and luxurious office settings, mall goths, Los Angeles streetwear, Hannah Montana and That's So Raven, My Scene and Bratz dolls, Vkei

Favorite swatch? Least favorite swatch?

Favorite: All of them!

Least: I don't think I have any? Idk

What’s something you always do when styling sims?

I prioritize their own tastes over mine 😅 And I try to make the outfits pop even if they're more simple. I go by this: "If an outfit is not interesting through color, then it has to be interesting through shape. And if it's not interesting through shape, then it has to be interesting through texture. And if it's not interesting through texture, then it has to be interesting through color."

Don't get me wrong, though; minimalistic outfits are fine! This is just what I go by. I'm definitely not a professional in fashion, lol. I'm sure there are some people who think my tastes are atrocious or boring, but that's fine.

But on my sims, I definitely abuse lip gloss and lipliner, baggy pants, jewelry, patterns or eye-catching prints, and flared jeans.

CAS item you’ll defend with your life? Not necessarily "defend," but I feel like we need more bespectacled sims out there! Or sims with acne or braces.

Experiencing acne suuuuuuucccks so I'm not trying to downplay it, but Ángel looked so cute in his yearbook photo :> I didn't want to leave it out. He is beautiful to me with or without it!!

Dream CC collection?

Anything with more male options, especially formal wear. I'm struggling out here 😅 And y'know what, more nice suits for female frames, too. That's the only reason why Antonio is a man; he would've been a woman or nonbinary if I had more suit options.

Do your sims dress for the plot or the screenshot?

...Maybe for the screenshot LOL.

Tagging @changingplumbob @deardiaryts4 @purplesimmer455 @perolesims @simscici

@authorspirit @citylighten @cakepoppresent @ruthplaysthesims @living-undead

@bloomingkyras @enchanteriv @igglemouse @itmeansiris @paracosmic-sims

@luvertrait @smulie @dreamyyesenia @sanitysims @weirdosalike

@likelyamused @mdshh @nyrarachelle-plays @sharona-sims @jayplaysims

@vladdysims

[gloomyshoujo]

Another experimental/doodle/whatever, this time featuring one of my fav rarepairs, Andre x Alain!!:-D

I've loved these two for years now. There's just something very sweet and angsty about this ship that I greatly enjoy. I love how Alain knows some of Andre's deepest pain and secrets, and tries to help him as best as he can, even if it kills him inside. I also feel like Alain was probably Andre's second friend he's ever made (and his first in adulthood); his whole life he's dedicated himself to only Oscar, so I think meeting Alain shifted things for him, so to say.

I just love seeing these two slowly warm up to each other, and learning to lean on one another a bit (barely though, because these two are very stubborn men xD). I also think having Alain also stay by Andre's side when he died, as well as seeing him as a ghost/angel/hearing him in his mind when he was about to kill his sister's ex-fiance; really shows how deeply connected they are. Even after his death, he still thinks about everyone, but especially Andre in my humble opinion.u///u

Ofc though, they also have their period typical "we are men so we need to have fist fights to express emotions" trope that I ADORE lol.xD Or the whole "I kissed your love interest because I'm confused and I'm really in love with you, but can't express that so please hate/punch me" trope.:-3c Ya know, typical fujo hours AHAHA.

Anyways! For this drawing, I wanted it to be more simple in terms or rendering and shapes, and sort of merge the two together. I also had a lot of fun with the composition! It wasn't planned, but I suddenly remembered all those shots of birds being played in the anime, and got inspired to do the same aha. Definitely adds drama, no?;-) I still definitely struggle with painting, but nonetheless, a good and fun exercise. Also, just happy I drew the otp yippee!!

Not really sure what's going on here persay? But wanted to draw something sweet for them, since they don't get a lot of love.:'-) Maybe they finally confessed? Maybe they're just finding comfort in each others presence. Or maybe it's the afterlife...;^; Either way, I wanted them to be happy, in love, and for it to feel peaceful/serene.

[bunnyreaper]

Demon Gaz, who's looking for a pretty little plaything to corrupt. Maybe a priests daughter, or someone who (somehow) has never sinned before.

<3

hopefully you enjoy this crime against christianity <3 cw dubcon, religion.

looking like such an angel, kyle finds his job incredibly easy. his beautiful brown eyes look like they're incapable of hiding a single sinful thought, never mind an entirely devilish being.

his smile is so bright the local god-fearing women think it could ward off any ill fate that could befall the town--if only they knew the reason for their downfall was their darling local charmer. 

you and kyle had been friends for a while now, he was new in town and took a shine to you immediately when you sat next to him in church one day.

from that moment on, he knew that he would make you his. 

it was easy to get you alone, under the guise of bible study, of reinforcing your father's teachings. the sessions started with quiet, companionable reading. kyle would keep you company, answer simple questions you had, and ask you about your life. 

no boys, no parties, no sin. 

he couldn't ask for a prettier, more innocent little thing to corrupt. 

your descent started slowly, in a way he couldn't have even planned. he didn't have to seek you out, as you followed him around like a lost lamb, unknowingly leading itself to slaughter. you tried to spend as much time with him as possible, obsessed with the way he looked at you like no one had before. 

you could sense his desire, even if you thought it to be something simple and innocent--the kind of love and admiration your parents' marriage was built from, the kind of devotion you had for your god. 

you had no idea of the lust that lay within--the corrupting, all-consuming need. kyle garrick was a selfish man, used to turning girls like you on their heads and feeding off their sins before moving on to the next. 

something about you was different. 

perhaps it was because he'd never met one so pure and untainted, or maybe it was because, unlike the others, you had no sense of self-preservation. it could be that you always had this look in your eyes like you wouldn't really mind if kyle led you astray, you'd follow him anyway. that was something he quickly became addicted to.

the poking and questioning followed soon after, kyle subtly guiding you to question the gospel, your father, and everything you've ever known, all for him. he pretended to struggle with his faith too, though he supposed it wasn't a lie, as once upon a time he had. 

you were quick to follow, enamored by your guardian angel in every way, believing he could never steer you wrong. 

after all, questioning is normal, natural, why we were given free will--that's what kyle always says. and with the sweet way he says it, so earnest and everything... there's no way the two of you are doing anything wrong.

so when he pulls you into his lap one day, bible in hand, you don't question it. when he asks your interpretation on a particular verse, and leads you to a certain conclusion, you don't question it. 

when he takes you on a walk through the churchyard flowers and kisses you under the flower-filled pergola, lips against yours like he's devouring you, you don't question it. 

from there, the rest is easy. coaxing you into sneaking out late at night, straight into his arms, getting you to give up your vow of chastity, your commitments to the church, your devotion to god.

instead, you worship him. his name falling from your lips like a prayer as he drives inside you, taking you for him forever. spoiling you for other men, breaking all your oaths. 

he stretches you out, shapes you to him, claims you with his cock, his cum, his fingers, the way his nails scraping down your body carves his name into your soul.

you cry out for him when your pretty mouth is on the end of his cock, you cry out for him when he's gone--tears beading in your eyes either way. 

and when they try to take you away from kyle, to make you 'see the light', 

all the lessons you've been taught about vengeance and grace fall away, and you search for a new beginning--disavowing your church, your family, your upbringing. 

and with your fall complete, when it's time for kyle to skip town? there's no way in hell he could leave you behind.

[zai-doodles]

Hi I was wondering how do you create outfits for the characters? I want to make outfits for my characters but the outfit never fits or don’t stand out ? I’m a big fan of your designs (especially Lisanna’s 😍) do you have any advice or tips please 🙏

I've been asked this a few times so I'm gonna try and articulate my process a little for how I approach character design using my process for my fairy tail redesigns

Of course, OCs from scratch are harder since they're from scratch most of the time but im not super happy with my fantasy oc designs rn so u get this :P

First of all

PINTEREST IS UR BEST FRIEND

Whenever I’m struggling with a design I just scroll on Pinterest for a while until i find a vibe I want. For example, with Laxus I was struggling to find something interesting because all I had in my brain was something vaguely mafia boss leaning but none of the designs were hitting UNTIL i saw a guy with long hair and an open shirt and I realized i wanted to go more glam rock with him so this is his board:

Obviously, once this rabbit hole got me to billy idol that the concept I ran with

With his design there were 2 things I really wanted to keep; big coat and massive tits-

The coat specifically I wanted to keep bc not only is it iconic but I wanted to make sure his silhouette didnt match gajeels too much since I’m not great with drawing big buff men and I kind of end up making them look very similar in shape without meaning to so it was something I was very conscious of when drawing him.

A simple tick I use to make designs feel cohesive is just using repeating shapes

With laxus obviously it was easy to just incorporate cloud and lightning patterns while slapping some less subtle storm clouds on him

Other examples:

Kinda basic yes but i draw lucy very round and natsu more sharp 

As for making sure ur characters look unique, its all about being aware of what traits u tend to lean into and purposefully avoiding them

For example I tend to make characters very round and cute by default so I have to be very aware of that when designing more masc or less “cute” characters

I do also give almost all my more sporty athletic characters big baggy pants oops-

Hence why when I redid sting and rouge I intentionally gave them different pants because I really need to not default to this every single time lol

 Of course, I also changed their whole vibe in general to make them look very visually different from natsu and gajeel in general since I want it to visually read that even though they are dragon slayers they are VERY different from the gen 1 guys

Idk if this was helpful at all or answered anyone's question but if u ask more specific things I can try and go more in-depth about certain things!

[luvevee]

So Carmine is honestly really sweet to watch develop! She seems like she's an older teenager, maybe a junior or senior, so her coping mechanisms for her instabilities like her anger are interesting to watch.

Hands clenching and being brought to her chest because they're shaking with anger. This seems to imply she's fighting to urge to hit whatever's making her angry.

Huge firework outbursts in response to slightest pushback. It's afterwards she explains what she really meant to get across by them.

She does not like change at all + is very vocal about how much she hates outsiders in her town.

Very very loud, and very vocal with her presence.

Incredibly remorseful and emotional when apologizing for mistakes she makes.

I think the most important thing to look at in the background is that Carmine understands she has a support system, and that's what makes the hugest difference in how she copes with everything.

When we get the mask, her first thought is "take it to grandpa" with no intention of withholding information. She's not scared she'll get in trouble or thinking of hiding things from them, she knows she has to be completely transparent and she can do that with her grandparents. She trusts them, she knows they'll help even if it's something so bizarre that most people would dismiss her experience.

Adding to that is when she learns the true story of the Loyal Three and Ogerpon. Her first impulse is to run into town to shout the truth. It isn't even a "we need to avenge our family lineage" thing, it's the misinformation that destroyed the lives of her ancestor, a man who wanted to live a new and quiet life, and a pokemon that was just reacting to the death of her trainer/parent. She's angry at the town for what they did to Ogerpon and she wants them to listen. Carmine's thinking of what she wants and what should happen. Her fiery personality paired with impulsivity leads to a lot of possibilities of problems.

But then her grandpa stops her. He doesn't scold her, he just asks "what would happen if they found out the truth after so long" and lets Carmine realize the answer is most likely "get angry" without putting down her impulsive, though valiant, urge to tell everyone the truth. He understands that Carmine just wants to make history right and that she's an honest young lady, but that she's very impulsive and very aggressive with how she goes about things. And the thing is Carmine listens to him, because she knows her grandpa is trying to help her understand the situation.

Her grandparents very obviously love her and understand that she needs some extra nudging/coaching with things. They understand she has problems regulating herself, and they work with her. Carmine doesn't feel the need to lash out against them because she understands they're trying to help her, and that's helped shape how a lot of her current coping mechanisms work.

Carmine can think of the practical sides of things if she's stopped for a moment. She can redirect her anger from physically lashing out, because even though her first instinct is to hit since it's a very simple and impulsive movement she knows it's bad. She can trust that she has people to catch her if she falls, namely her grandparents.

Then the whole other ballpark of how she's very protective of Kieran. It seems like that Carmine wants him not to be her, but to feel like her. She wants her little brother to feel confident, safe, strong, but her emotional instability and typical big sibling feelings really strain the gap between them.

When Kieran pushes back, she struggles with responding appropriately and gets furious because "I'm just trying to be a good big sister" and "I'm the big sister he should listen to me" clash in her head alongside her pride. She's trying really hard to make him feel the way she does, but it ends up just making him shrink down further because of how aggressive she is. It's a cycle she accidentally perpetuates without realizing what she's doing.

And Carmine loves him so much! She wants what's best for him, she wants to be the model big sister. She cares so much about his feelings that she convinces us to stay quiet about meeting Ogerpon because she knows he'll be crushed that he wasn't there. Even though she teases him, Carmine's clearly trying to be a good big sister/trusted figure in his life. That's what hurts the most, is that she's trying.

But in her excessive worrying and outbursts about his feelings, she ends up doing more damage. She ends up yelling things that she feels on the surface level and has to explain that what came out was completely different than what she meant, but she doesn't tell Kieran that because it's the "he should understand I'm doing what's best for him" mindreading aspect.

By the end of the arc, Carmine does the one things she really can: give him space. She doesn't force him out of his room before they go back to Blueberry Academy, she just tells everyone he isn't feeling well. She's trying to protect his privacy and processing, still trying to be the wall between the turbulent world and Kieran's need for time, and it's obvious she feels adrift in this situation. Usually she can just apologize and things calm down, but it's such a huge situation that changed so much that the usual routine won't work. It's something that obviously troubles her, but she ultimately realizes all she can do is wait for Kieran to reach out to her when he's ready.

She wants so badly to help Kieran, but she's on the other side of the same wall that's making it so hard for her to truly look at him and understand what she needs to shift to be the good big sister she strives to be in his life.

Carmine's character is so amazing to watch develop as she learns to trust someone other than the people around her and how she takes in everything that happens around her, she really deserves a big hug for how hard she tries 😭

[reverescents]

I don't fucking know

Therapy and counseling and "mental health support" from professionals, etc. are often like treating (or helping manage) the symptoms, but not the disease. It's "helping" the individual, but it's not and it's not about solving the innumerable core global, collective, societal, systemic, world, etc. issues and problems.

The 'disease' in question, is (almost) everything. I think everything is interconnected. Everything. The world, the countless, core issues — "small" and "big" — with humans, parents, men and women, societies, governments, and the systems that have been created, etc. all impact us, obviously, and we are shaped in countless ways by them. Therapy can't just solve complex global or more 'minor'-but-not-really problems for the individuals it's helping..it can only do so much.

Another issue is many people also don't and can't go to therapy or counseling, and those who are going, many of them, are probably learning important, new things and ideas and are changing, even if it's in small ways, but they're always going back to the same environment that's harmful/that is harming them. They're also always going back to the same world, out of that room. Even that room and the other person in it aren't "free" from the influence and impact of the harmful ideas and problems that exist. Maybe the person receiving the help has and are gaining better knowledge and skills on how to deal with things now, but that doesn't erase the very real, large, "minor" issues that are affecting them and everyone and their mental health.

Some struggling, depressed, anxious, and/or miserable kids at schools in some countries may be receiving support and help, but that 'support' and 'help' is not nearly enough. All of them of course don't have "good parents" (not a thing), and they're being raised by those parents who are shaping and affecting them in countless negative ways, even without them knowing it or the kids knowing it. They, for an example of one of the issues here, even if getting "help", are always going back to the same environment (their parents/siblings/family). It's just..almost pointless and useless. Not only that, these kids are also obviously deeply affected by the kind of world, country, society, and system they live in, and the people surrounding them, even if they or the people around them don't realize or recognize that. They have their own complicated issues and problems and struggles, many of which are very personal, too. I don't know why school counselors and teachers or others sort of act as though there is an issue and it can be talked about and "dealt with" somehow, with, I don't know, some social worker, as if everything is not interconnected and the issue is simple with straightforward solutions. I think they don't realize that only so much can be done.

Parents are and always have been, for example, one of the biggest problems. Humans should go extinct anyway because having kids isn't right, but also humans should go extinct because there is literally no solution to..all of this. All these problems. I think it's too complicated. I don't know. There are way too many issues, I don't think people realize just how many there are, and the fact that it's all interconnected in even the smallest of ways.

And a lot of these issues aren't clear, or common enough to be obvious to people and get recognition but they are affecting tons of people, and there are also tons of issues that are "BIG" and common, but they are just not acknowledged and recognized at all, while still harming and affecting us and everything we do and say, in very negative ways. And also, so much, dare I say most of these problems, stem from growing up with very poor parenting (most parenting is very poor parenting) or from not having parents/caregivers, etc. Everyone has many very different stories and pain and struggles and issues. And everyone shares many stories and pain and struggles and issues. This whole 'parenting problem' is never going to be solved world-wide. It's IMPOSSIBLE. It can get better, in some places, but no matter what happens it will never be enough. All parents from the beginning have made major mistakes and done very poorly and it's only been a continuous cycle since then with notable improvements but it's still not nearly enough, and there are terrible, horrible, uncountable problems still with different parents from different countries and many "old" ones haven't vanished. Plus, people shouldn't even have children.

Too many people are too ignorant, willfully ignorant, stupid, immature, selfish, unaware, lacking in critical thinking ability, unempathetic, discompassionate, unwilling to engage in important discussions (privately or publicly), narrow-minded, indoctrinated, influenced in negative ways by countless things (all of us are), unwilling to change, to grow, unwilling to change/alter their views/beliefs/ideas or accept valid arguments, criticism, and evidence, and unwilling to change them even after being presented those things as well as ignorant of said arguments and criticism, too insistent on continuing to follow or believe whatever the majority thinks or believes in, incapable of understanding any complex thought, perspective, insight, or philosophy and unwilling to engage with it or be open to learning about and understanding it or any new and unpopular and "controversial" ideas and views, etc. Oof.

I can't even name every single issue that exists on this planet if I seriously tried to. Everything is so complex, and complicated, most of it seems so unsolvable because of the many factors, the main one being people and the way we are. Also, no one is even obligated to try to 'solve' things, none of us asked to be here. Therapy and counseling and mental health programs and all that can only help you so much, they are not going to "heal" you or help you really "heal", because many of the reasons why you are suffering are because of issues with the world, country, system, and society you live and (are forced to) participate in. They also are literally just helping you participate in and adjust and adapt to a terrible world, society, and system when you shouldn't have to do that at all. That is literally a problem in itself. They can't do anything more, anyway. "There are no individualist solutions to collective issues." What should be done instead? Well..I don't know that. Things could be improved perhaps, but I don't think all of this is "solvable". Humans need to go extinct.

The solution is that humans go extinct.

[voiceofthesilly]

Hi, uhm.

Your designs for the voices in STP are..

Genius.

The premise of their design are simple (birds(?) with animal skull heads(?)) yet it makes them so distinguishable!

Also your art is very yummy- It's beautiful.

Ajsjadhdja thanku!! this means a lot, espeically since i love your designs for them a LOT Gonna take that as an opportunity to explain them some bc i havent really done that so beware, long rant under the cut

The general idea was for them to have masks of various woodland creatures, as a general reference to the cabin being set in the woods and to add a bit of a fairytale twist, as often in fairytales guiding voices in form of animals appear But thinking about it skulls are such a sick idea and might use them for less cartoony iterations honestly

From left to right!

Cold was actually pretty hard to pick an animal for - @3zethe3zr has been immense help figuring those out with various voices and we went through options like wolves and bears before i settled on lynx (quick, efficient and solitary assassin). I wanted Cold to feel big and overpowering, blocking out everything else. In a way that silence is big, sorta. You might also notice that they're the only voice without markings - its partially because everything i could come up with felt too on the nose, and partially because well. what symbol better than vast emptiness. Largest voice! 8'2" tall

Paranoid is a mouse, i feel like the association here is pretty straightforward. Big wings to hide behind and bald patches from overpreening. Their pattern is the eyes, they can't seem to get rid of them. Some on the feathers, some straight on the skin.

Hunted gets a hare mask because i said so and hares have amazing prey eyes. It's rather large, but always crouched over and ready to bolt, making it much smaller than it could be - Hunted always says we're small, but there's a moment where Wild refutes that. Of course it's not in reference to physical size there, but I wanted to use that nonetheless. Target mark on their chest and mask. Eyes on the side of the head - not sure where i heard it first but it was sych a good take i had to do it

Hero !!! I struggled a lot with the animal for them, went through a bunch of deer, wolf, even bird at some point (birds were off limits). In the end went with 3zr's squirrel suggestion - a little kind voice sitting on your shoulder. Hero also gets a cape, as a treat. for being there always. And because they're a hero and im no edna mode. Markings are the slits in a knight helmet!

Stubborn was im pretty sure the first one who got designed at all, due to intense stubborn brainrot. Animal is a boar, due to the mfs being extremely hard to kill, though i did want to go with a wolverine for a while. His mask is moved aside, he's straighforward and has no need for hiding anythin. Masks off and knives out, am i right . He's the shortest voice in the lineup (whole 3'7"). this is because im not tall and i like him. I tried to strike a balance between squarish and triangle build. His wings are proudly on display, and so are his scars - a testiment to our resilience.

Opportunist! my littlest guy who missed being a weasel by like 3 milimeters and ended up fox. because of course he did. He's fucking tiny - i usually like making voices who dont consider us strong bigger than they think, but in this case it felt fitting to make it something he works with. The markings are pointed knives, pretty self-explanatory i feel. Usually partially hidden under the chest feathers. Also, his arms are hidden behind his back here but the palms are red - blood on him hands

Smitten is a deer! They always felt very noble to me, and, well, heart shape in the antlers! The mask is somewhat ill-fitting and she can't see well but that's alright, love is blind. The largest marking by far - he's not one to hide his nature, and his heart is as big as the markings would suggest. I wanted to give her this sorta chivalrous fairytale knight build. Wings folded into a wing shape!

Contrarian is another long boi, i felt it would work well for whatever silly limb contortions hed do. The animal is a natterer's bat specifically - again, 3zr's genious idea

Neck feathers meant to resemble a jester's collar. Funky patterns meant to be confusing and disorientin. In the lineup in particular i didn't do it, but the idea is that with the mask slightly more up and beak open it almost looks like he has three heads, paralleling Stranger

Skeptic i wanted to have a very solid build, so square he is. The markings are question marks - both on the mask and feathers. He's a little silly with his saying wink out loud, so he gets to have a question mark tie. Wings folded behind mimicking a trench coat. He deserves glasses

Broken is actually second longest! It doesn't matter though, does it. They can be as large as they want, doesn't change anything. Mask is a raccoon dog - felt fitting vibewise. Bald patches around neck, wrists and ankles, as if remnants of shackles locked around them. The markings are meant to mimick both cracks (in shape) and chains (in layout). Mask pulled up for them double sad eyes and because there isnt even a point in hiding

Last up, cheated! Hedgehog bastard. I guess kinda paralleling Razor in that regard? They're not particularly big and their feathers are ruffled. Uses wings for extra expression! Markings meant to both resemble scars and diamond suit

Also, earlier verisons!

[turbo-tsundere]

i'm glad to see the positive asks coming up at great timing ;w; i hope you're doing okay! please take breaks whenever you need, and take your time. it's a strange question, but i was wondering if drawing gonta and kokichi has ever given you any practice at drawing a certain aspect of their character (anatomy, clothes, nature...?) i'm really curious!

Thank you, I'm trying my best (• 7 • ) Thought current issue is that I want to draw SO badly but caaaan't, because I'm too busy grrrrrrrrr wr I missedGonta'sbirthdayAGAIN. Oh well, maybe next time but ghhhh *frustrated cat noises*...

Regarding your question, it's not weird at all. I do hope though I understood it correctly, because the way I see it, drawing anything is always simultaneously practicing it, whether it's a warm-up sketch, or finished drawing... But perhaps "Did you have to practice/learn stuff to properly draw these characters or things symbolic to them" is more in line of what you wanted to know?

Then yes, absolutely, there was quite a bit of that!... So this is going to be a very long one.

When it comes to Gonta... oh boy. I'm not underestimating by saying pretty much every single aspect of his design is something I struggle with. Long and slightly wavy hair is the most difficult kind for me to draw, and I keep forgetting the exact shape of his quadruple ahoge. I've difficulty with narrow faces (and his wide neck doesn't make things easier in that regard xD), and I didn't draw that many muscular characters like him in the past (I did draw a lot of over-exaggerated, blockier fantasy characters, but somehow this wasn't helpful for my brain because ????? ...Well, they often have disproportionately massive joints and way different skeletal structure that doesn't exactly make sense tbh).

Drawing suits is my bane, especially lapels; if it looks good, it's because due to my stubbornness I redrew it 5-15 times. I generally struggle with kimonos, suits and certain types of uniforms - anything that's formal wear made of relatively stiff fabric that creates little to no folds and has to fit well and relatively snug, but still obscures anatomy...

Gonta's glasses gave me trouble, too: I didn't know I was drawing their perspective wrong until I studied photos, videos, or 3D models of people who happened to wear similar models...

(How I instinctively drew glasses vs how they're apparently supposed to look at specific angles. It feels so unintuitive and surprising for me to see the farther lens stick out so much... kinda funny, considering I wear glasses myself, albeit rectangular ones.)

Even his eyebrows turned out to be a challenge, because they start thin in inner corners, then get thicker as they spread outwards - this made me realize that I tend to draw my own characters with an exact opposite shape xD... It took a while to get a hang of how they'd look while expressing different emotions (but I think they are cool the way they split at the end!)

I pretty much had to actively practice all of the above. It was difficult but rewarding, and especially at the beginning of my brainrot I really dove into the research, studying details, collecting all sorts of references both realistic and stylized, and working on how to translate Gonta into "my style" (which imo ended up more like a hybrid between my own style and DR one) to represent him and his vibe as accurately as possible (it's generally my philosophy with fanart).

On a side note, imo Gonta has a great design. He combines simple elements and colour palette - wild long hair, brown suit, glasses, barefoot - and not too many small ornaments (bug box, lapel pin), but they result in something unique and distinct. I find that school of character design really clever, and oddly more difficult than designing overly elaborate ones.

Going back to the topic of the practice, it was beneficial even for subjects besides Gonta himself. For example, getting a hang of how to draw beefier, more pronounced anatomy helped me understand it better in general, and be able to draw more lean characters as well. (I do have trouble with subtle things like how a ribcage connects to the waist, then hips, or how shoulders look at specific angles etc.)

Or when I had to research bugs for some of the fanarts, it made me realize how much more complex their anatomy is, and how despite the infinite variety of species there is always a certain consistency to it. I started appreciating them so much more... my previous default was rather neutral leaning on slightly positive, but I was scared stiff of mantises when I was a kid. Now I find them genuinely beautiful, endearingly dramatic with their patterns and behaviour... And see bugs as so cute overall. I guess Gonta would be happy to know that?

Thanks to him I managed to return to more painterly and sketchy techniques, too (For a few years before playing V3, I used to draw a lot more lineart heavy works with anime-like shading, and I was worried if I'll be able to stray away from that).

In the end, every fanart is always an exercise in something, like "oh let's try those golden/metallic digital paints, let's try dark colours/hair underwater study, or high contrast, etc., etc..

Gonta was tough to draw, still is, and I'm definitely not done learning and making mistakes, but I don't mind... and I think it's a good thing to feel about something, when you want to keep doing it even if it isn't always a walk in the park. He's definitely a FUN variety of challenging. I only hope I will be able to keep finding time and energy to keep on going.

---

Kokichi on the other hand isn't particularly difficult to draw, even if it wasn't the case at first, though for mostly emotional reasons. On a technical level, he's nicely effortless, though there are some tricky aspects to his design, like how his hair works in a 3D space.

I even made myself a little "guide" in the beginning, to help me understand just that. I'd draw his "base" hair and add these signature strands.

Funny how... casual he looks without them? Fandom usually depicts all of his hair curled outwards, even I do that quite a bit, while in canon, oddly enough, it's just a few strands that seem longer than the rest of his hair. His hair is also simply black with purple tips, not all purple like he's often depicted.

(Behold, a wet cat Kokichi doodle from the depths of my fanart folder. YES, those are hair rollers.)

It's interesting how characters are often drawn the way they "feel", rather than by strictly adhering to their design, and how it leads to accentuating some design elements...

Oh right, I also had no clue how to draw Kokichi's face at first, how to interpret it into something more realistic; this character named Doa from Blade of the Immortal by Samura has served me as an accidental inspiration in translating his features into something closer to my own style. The checkered hat and big guy companion may or may not have contributed to grabbing my attention.

(panels from Hiroaki Samura's manga)

The way I draw Kokichi has changed since, getting closer to his original style, but it's thanks to her that things clicked into place, and I managed to finally draw the fanart that I was actually satisfied with, this one specifically. (Also it may or may not have inspired me to muse about BotI ougoku AU for like 54 seconds.)

But all in all, Kokichi is really pleasant to illustrate, and what I enjoy practicing the most is his baggy shirt and, again, his hair.

Also the scarf. I really enjoy drawing drapery and baggy clothes, but I specifically like to draw this checkerboard pattern by hand and merge it directly with the lineart and shadows - so it's more like a bunch of abstract shapes creating an object, rather than clearly separated lines, shadows and colours. It helps with accentuating the dimensionality of his scarf (which I always felt like is some sort of infinity scarf, since there aren't any ties visible on his concept design...). I know using a pattern would be much faster and easier work, but I just like drawing it, so I don't mind putting in that little extra work in there.

(I really love hatching, too. I actually don't like linearting all that much lol, unless I merge and structurally "support" it with hand-drawn textures or thicker brushtrokes - it's nice to test out different brushes just for that purpose.)

To sum it up: yep, I was given an opportunity to practice a ton of things thanks to those two lovely messes. I still am, and certainly still will - even if some of those might be simply re-learning stuff I got rusty at, bc no art skill is ever a static one, for better or for worse.

[starsurfacemortalkombat]

Love love your subscorp ones!! Can I request CG!Hanzo & Little!Kuai Liang from mk11 this time? Thank you!! :D 💕

-🦈

Yes!! So sorry for the wait!! I'm not sick anymore though!! :D

CG Hanzo w/ Regressor Kuai Liang Hcs

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

⛄️ Kuai Liang feels a bit more of an age dreamer to me??

🦂 Another Raiden problem, there's so much to do, especially as Grandmaster, also struggles to fully regress alone :(

⛄️ But with Hanzo’s help, he regresses to about 3-5

🦂 ^ Has also regressed to babyspace, but only when he gets flashbacks of his (horrible) childhood

⛄️ Kuai started regressing with Johnny as his main cg (they're actually friends in cannon!!)

🦂 ^ Johnny saw how stressed Kuai Liang was, and suggested the coping mechanism

⛄️ Kuai shared his regression after Hanzo regressed with him the first time, he didn't want Hanzo to feel awkward or embarrassed around his ‘rival’

🦂 Kuai Liang has a difficult time fully regressing when he's alone, and needs someone with him

⛄️ Luckily, regressed Kuai is rarely ever aline, whether he has Hanzo, Bi-Han, or even Frost

🦂 Hanzo started caretaking when Takeda started regressing

⛄️ It was actually really hard when Hanzo started caretaking for the first time, especially because it was Takeda

🦂 After all these years, he is still always reminded of his son, and now he's watching after the boy he swore himself he'd treat as any other student (although he basically ended up adopting Takeda, and no, Takeda was not a replacement for Satoshi)

⛄️ Hanzo does, however, really enjoy caregiver, and was very excited the first time Kuai Liang ever regressed around him

🦂 He's a very proud Papa, and honestly kinda misses the Dad life

⛄️ Hanzo is extremely . . . over protective of Kuai Liang

🦂 If he had it his way, Kuai Liang wouldn't escape his cuddles at all >:(

⛄️ But Kuai Liang enjoys being slightly independent, and Hanzo is still learning to take a step back sometimes

🦂 Completely over panics when Kuai Liang gets hurt, even if it's just a simple nick

⛄️ ^ This has caused Kuai Liang to start crying too, but most times he calms his Bàba down

🦂 Don't worry, both are fine, and Kuai gets a ton of cuddles and kisses after

⛄️ Hanzo's main caretaker names are Bàba when he's smaller, like babyspace, and Papa the rest of the time

🦂 Both have tried to call the other (correct me if I'm wrong) Otòsan before and both times it's made Hanzo cried

⛄️ Kuai Liang's main nicknames are Snowflake, Bunny, and Baby Boy

🦂 Main babysitters are Johnny, Bi-Han, Frost, and sometimes Kenshi

⛄️ Although Kuai Liang doesn't really need babysitters most times, unless he request it

🦂 Hanzos a busy person, but he'll cut meetings short if Kuai Liang slips, and he's very good at multitasking with his work while Kuai’s small

⛄️ He'll do most of his papers on the bed or divide his desk in half so Kuai Liang can color for an hour or so

🦂 Kauai's pretty okay with it, he likes being able to sit next to or on Hanzo's lap and do his own work (which Hanzo always loves to praise)

⛄️ Kuai’s actually a very energetic kiddo

🦂 Really likes outside time, and doing craft activities

⛄️ Outside time is specifically for the Lin Kuei temple, he likes the snow

🦂 He's fine walking the gardens and looking at the fish, but he has much more making snow angels and building snowmen

⛄️ It's not uncommon to see both Grandmasters outside in the snow

🦂 Nor is it uncommon to see Kuai Liang order Hanzo around during their play time (they have To make good snowmen, Hanzo, not just three weirdly shaped circles on top of each other)

⛄️ He also really likes different crafts, whether that's coloring, or finger painting, or stuff like that

🦂 Does prefer coloring because he can give Hanzo his pretty drawings

⛄️ Only a very few select drawing get to go up in their house because Kuai is embarrassed someone will catch onto his regression

🦂 He also likes wrestling or play fighting a bit, but mostly because it ends in giggle fits and a cuddle pile

⛄️ Hanzo is really good at controlling his strength, and he'll never let Kuai Liang win >:(

🦂 Mostly because he makes Kuai think he's won, and then will overpower him so he can pep his face with kisses and squish him in a hug

⛄️ ^ Kuai firmly believes that's cheating but whatever 😒

🦂 Hanzo is slightly reluctant to let Kuai cuddle or touch his Teddy while Kuai is small

⛄️ Kuai doesn't play with it often, but sometimes he wants to play with his Papa's toys and would pretty please like to hold Teddy

🦂 Hanzo let's him, but keeps an incredi close eye on him

⛄️ It does make him really happy thar Kuai is very obviously much gentler with teddy than his other stuffies

🦂 Kuai doesn't actually have many stuffies, but he'd rather cuddle Papa instead (his personal heater)

⛄️ Sometimes Kuai Liang gets really bad memories, especially of his childhood

🦂 His childhood was . . . extremely terrible, to say the very least

⛄️ It makes him feel really small, and scared, and vulnerable

🦂 He'll hide and cry into his Bàba's chest for comfort, refusing to leave his side

⛄️ Hanzo will gently rock him, scratch his back while he places soft kisses on Kuai Liang's forehead

🦂 He's very good at comforting Kuai, and makes sure to give his baby some extra loving during these times <3

⛄️ Kuai Liang actually really likes having playdates with others, especially with Frost and Bi-Han (it's also how he rekindle his relationship between the two)

🦂 Hanzo was cacious, especially at first, but he actually does enjoy the friendship he's made with them

⛄️ Frost very much loves her baby, but puts up a good fight for Hanzo some times (she's a big girl!! She doesn't need a babysitter, and neither does Kuai!)

🦂 Bi-Han likes cuddling with Kuai, but Is also a bit too aggressive in play wrestling (one of the brothers favorite activities together)

⛄️ Kuai Liang is Hanzo's main priority when he's small (he's his main priority In general, but knows he needs him now when he's tiny)

🦂 . . . That does not mean that Kuai Liang can just freeze him in place when he says no to something >:/ (bullstuffies)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

These aren't the best, I'm so sorry. I've never imagined regressor Kuai before, but I can always redo or do more!! <3

[brooklynisher]

Here's a bunch of old sketchbook doodles I made y'all

Stick around bc this includes my first SPG drawings!! (Before I joined Tumblr)

Riveting start

I'll start off with little drawings I made of myself. And my god do you see what I'm doing with the anatomy? Do you see how tiny those joints are? That's horrific. Why did I build everyone like that? But Yugo is where I began to find my art style. Will love them forever for that. I've got to go back to simple-shaped heads one of these days and blush/eyelashes on everything

We've got some lovely Smile For Me-related doodles. First is a Flower Kid design. Second was not smile for me specifically, but Face Love (by the same devs). And the last two were my earlier attempts at making comics and scenes. Ft. lancer for some reason.

Here are a couple of abandoned OCs. Pretty boy (Basil) is supposed to be yellow. We've all had that OC whose only trait was being a hot person and that's what he was all about. Didn't develop him much in terms of character which is sad because I kinda like his design. He was created when I was doodling random designs in FireAlpaca. I'll have to show the other doodles in a different post (If you are interested).

THIS GUY I WOULD LIKE TO BRING BACK! Might be kinda basic in terms of like "Weird Core" designs but I still love him. His plot keeps changing though because his design is so strange yet so simple to the point where I could put him in just about any world I wanted to had I gotten bored of the old one. Which is silly bc he's just a depressed news anchor man.

Anyway bc of that, Basil used to be his bf, but isn't anymore. He got replaced with fat peppermint man who fun fact: was inspired by the song Brass Goggles BEFORE I even got into SPG and learned what it was about! How silly is that! Peppermint boy is technically my first SPG OC!

She was a fun one, but I abandoned her too. I think she was too influenced by Frye's character from Splatoon. She was a warrior of sorts. Sort of tribal I suppose. She spoke fast, and in her tribe's language, so many people struggled to understand her. She was very bouncy too. Jumping all over the place. If you know Frye, you'll probably notice that they're a bit too similar to each other. That's usually why I abandon my OCs. When they're too similar to another.

Critter I doodled. Not really an OC, but I still think she's cute

Don't ask me about the first guy. The girl was a mii that was born in Tomodachi Life! Her name is Lily. She is the child of Kris (Deltarune) and Hatsune Miku. She looks silly which is why I love her.

I'm Picasso. Kinda vibe with this ngl. Not sure if I could ever turn this into anything though

Here are some low-effort doodles. Enjoyed the design of the big lady more than I thought. I was practicing drawing bigger bodies at the time. Joints are still KILLING ME but it's not bad considering I had the worst anatomy method imaginable

Here are some higher-effort doodles. Aside from the abhorrent anatomy (WHY DOES THE PIG ZOMBIE HAVE TWO DIFFERENTLY SIZED SHOULDERSS????) I quite like these critters. That mermaid girl had lore too. She could control the dead of the sea. She was lowkey evil. Never turned her into anything though. Also, you can see by that guy at the bottom of the first one, that Bunny's art was starting to take an influence on me.

Lots of stuff going on over here but LOOK! MY VERY FIRST SPG FANART! IT'S OF VI POINTING AT AN APPLE AND YELLING AT IT

I was inspired by Bunny to make these monster-ish-looking people

More thingies! There's the goopy robot which I initially drew as a first attempt at drawing a robot, but then I made it black and goopy bc that's what it was giving. The star guy appears and disappears a few times. I think I wanted to keep them, but the design was very similar to LightLazer so I felt a bit weird about drawing them.

More robot shenanigans. First time drawing Rabbit and The Spine! Cannot believe that my first Spine drawing was in a dress oh my god.

More Bunny-inspired drawings and I'm REALLY kinda digging that weird tiny robot critter. Looking at it now, it's kinda like Spring in a few ways, but it's also completely different from Spring in so many other ways. The limbs are retractable. I kinda like this thing actually. I Oughtta do something with it.

These ones are more SPG-specific. You'll have to forgive me, most of these are from memory. Don't ask me why Rabbit looks like David Bowie in the first one.

And finally, some Rabbit and Spine doodles! Rabbit's doing the "Hey Andy Sweetie" meme. I could totally reattempt drawing that today actually.

Anyway, hope you had fun. I did. Ugh this is so sillyy

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary545

3/28-29/25

friday - saturday

better day for music.

i think i kind of figured something super awesome out... for guitar synths, at least. it's not 'new' necessarily, the idea, it's just one that like, seemed so simple to me always and also kind of irritating, that i never did it, too simple to work, it seemed, and too time consuming to try, but i tried it today, and i'm happy i did. i decided to use several instances of massive set to mostly sin waves and to set them up in accordance to the low e string being strummed, just like, placing the harmonics by pitching up various sin waves across the oscillators in massive, about... idk 6 instances? idk actually i should check, might be a little over, that + a high passed physical modeling synth to help with attack and some extra harmonic stuff happening, + some noise in another massive instance. the thing that i think really helps with this setup is 1) no weird low pass dimness from trying to roll of highs to make something sound less bright in a bad way and then losing any good sharpness and 2) i could modulate specific harmonics to do weird things, in the higher ranges i noticed some move around in pitch in weird ways, a sort of wavering, so i could use some of the lfos independent of one another to modulate the pitches really lightly to match what i was seeing in the eq. without any effects on this, it'd be super pointless, though, it wouldn't really sound like a guitar at all, it'd be a weird synth sound is all, but with the harmonics all laid out like that, and the decays of each something i can also set up on each cluster of harmonics to decay differently to help shape the tone better as well, or create different tones or even, it works kind of like an eq as well, it all interacts with saturation and distortion in really really good ways. i also have used almost every weird trick i've thought up on this thing, the low wetness reverb before pickup simulation to help make it seem like there's signal moving through space, and it also helps bring out brightness in a smear-y way which is super useful, rather than having it be over-articulate it's more ready to be noisy, i didn't do the flanger thing on particular harmonics because i shouldn't need to, with what i set up w/ the oscillators, but it's an option that is available to me, also. i used the fast fourier transform to get some extra weird transients out of it,,, which i'm super pleased with, it adds something hard to place, mostly, unless i opt to shut off the dry signal which runs parallel to it and that is a really good sound. i did something with it today. it kind of needs weird distortion to pick up the pick-y ness of a guitar but that's what i spent a lot of time doing, i kind of decided to create multiple effects racks for different distortion methods, and one's like, useless it just kind of makes something hideous happen, but the others are really super useful, they're all maybe a touch similar in ways, but idk, different flavors of useful distortion that i've set up to be easy to turn on and off with automation, some delay chain also that i've made, i'm thinking of that as like an array of pedals, which feels exciting, it's like i've gone and collected new toys but i made them myself, so i'm hopefully going to keep liking this guitar sound and find stuff i can do with it on problem songs + maybe new stuff with it. when i make these sounds i test them with lots of different kinds of riff ideas, this one seems really capable of doing a lot, so that makes me excited, also, it might be able to do some things for some songs i've really struggled with, maybe i'll try it on one in particular i've thought of as being like, impossible to fix, basically. we'll see though. some songs are just always hard to get right.

but i also went into the feedback thing, with it, and i like this sound i can get, it's that super short delay / ugly spring reverb sound on some no wave stuff, kind of, and i also really like how the fft thing makes the guitar super weirdly bright, and the distortion also really pleases me. idk. i'm super taken with this but maybe it's just because it's new...

like:

or:

(or that spray paint record from yesterday)

time to read now, i'll listen to more sleetmute while reading, that fits the book...

the book is finished. i really like it, and i'm also super tired. so my thoughts might be limited. tomorrow i'll read all of an interview between paul curran (author) and thomas moore, who is another writer i admire actually, so that's a match made in heaven, for me.

but the book, really special thing. i hope it lingers in me, it's a really strange and complicated thing, some of the interview i caught confirms a couple things, in part, the way text creates people/ the possibility of 'self' understanding in the way we tend to, here is paul on that:

by presenting monotonous instructions in the same tone, with sometimes extreme and sometimes mundane content, I wanted to put the reader into that confusing state where it’s unclear if consciousness controls bodily movements or is a retrospective narrativization of them.

this is a subject that's always interested me, it's always occurred to me with things like memory, as i've had at a point in my life, false memories revealed to be false and then what was actually there not really coming back to fill it in, just that emptiness and knowing something years ago didn't happen, or didn't happen that way, which colors everything, and then this path of your life, stemming from that history, the narrative is wrong, you're not really there, it's something else, it feels like. with the body, this is also a common sensation, what did you hear or feel, why did i do that, sometimes i have really poor motor control, i notice it when i try to keep beats and things, i jitter a lot, this isn't so intense as doing evil things, even then, i guess compulsive self harm, biting myself and hitting myself for no reason, cutting, things can come in to explain them but in the moment, it's kind of a fact articulating itself, you're there seconds after sort of a witness to it. beyond this though, the more internal/emotional aspects, this is also something one needs to think through to topple phallic humanism/enlightenment thinking i think, that the body is this upright thing that exists in accordance to a hierarchy and the mind is this moral principled logical function, basically, when it is all disarray and discontinuity.

here are some portions of the book:

this one made me think about life right now, surrounded by images of people dying, torture on the mind, too, the strangeness of violence so accessible and placed before you, this evokes that. the book's been republished in 2020, but originally it's i wanna say... 2013? very salient, although the world's always been a meat grinder. part of this book's inspiration is also clearly the horror-show the internet has always churned out.

and from the final section:

i think this also gets at a lot of the theoretical stuff this book is trying to approach/attack, to undermine discipline, when transgression meets the limit, the limit closing itself, the relation back to the law, or maybe moreso, the effort of the law to link itself back to these acts/functions of a desire for dissolution, chaotic non-things and the effort of the law to establish bounds upon them, to implicate itself back into some circuitry.

quite liked the image of the flagpoles made of bones bending in wind.

i like how the sun functions here, it reflects off everything, implicating itself and giving shape to everything, its act of giving shape/form also makes it impossible to not see, as well, this passage is strongly tethered to the one i posted just before as well. integrity is an interesting thing to think about, fear and lack of faith in the body, a crumbling thing. i suppose this is a common feeling, i feel it daily in some sense, with fear of becoming ugly, aging, etc, this will not last and it would be better to be dissolved in acid or fucked to death than to have to go on with the worrying, which i can't discard, because the worrying is also an investment i have in the act of living. that makes it sound rather heavy, i guess from far off, from this vantage, it is, i was thinking a lot about psychic bdsm in the shower today, the techniques we have for abstract pleasure and things, self denial was one i thought about a lot, it's one i engage in somewhat often, where there is a strange distant satisfaction in saying no to myself. the perversion of the ascetics.

lucy was trying to shake him off like an insect caught in a summer dress.

beautiful image to me.

lots of painful penetration in this final section. it really made me wince.

i really like this book. not sure what else to say. it's a complicated mess of a thing, a pile of organs under streetlight, digestive fluids as grammatical function.

that feels related to the lines, in the final quoting, which is also the final paragraph, wishing for something to disappear, its definition grows, this also feels related to the mechanics of intrusive thoughts, which kind of color the violent images that travel through the book.

i feel like i really need to watch aria tomorrow, as some kind of counterpoint to this. although, idk, to be honest as pleasant as that show is, counterpoint makes them feel more opposed when they're both ambivalent feeling to one another, which is more interesting. not that they'd ever be actually related, but putting them beside one another in my head, it's not really like they negate one another. it's a silly thing to think about, but i am simply having fun.

here are some old photos i took. i also felt a need to post things that aren't ripe with blood, or at least evidently. everything is kind of like that to me, everything implicates everything else, at all times.

tomorrow i will also probably resume work on the minecraft textures too... looking forward to painting small things again.

now it's almost 5 am,,, oh no... i have to sleep,

wait, one last thing, i finally got frosted mini wheats, the trader joe's kind... they're good. so that's good, that makes me happy. i wonder if i should have asked my gf for oat milk to go with them instead of almond milk, but the almond milk is okay too.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[2n2n]

I know that right now everyone is focused on chapter 104 😅 but I would like someone to explain me better about Hakujodai and the other one who also walks beside him (I don't remember the name). And also the ones that walk around Tsukasa, because now I'm confused if they're from Tsukasa or Sakura, because she can understand them. Please someone explain to me 😖

this is going to be a crazy long post. It's probably not what you wanted but it's what is going to commence.

Hanako's orbs are called Haku-joudai, and Tsukasa's are called Koku-joudai. Akane, and Teru, respectively, have referred to both orbs as "Tsueshiro" [杖代], which is a made-up word; unlike many words used in the manga, it does not have precedent in folklore, as far as I know. Both are holy in nature, unable to be harmed by Kou or Teru.

Now. the naming scheme, first off. It's insane and multilayered as Iro-sensei is about everything ever, there is significance in the kanji, in pronunciation, and Iro-sensei loves to fiddle wildly. Should be noted: It's not uncommon that some names and specific terms in JSHK use atypical readings. Whether or not a kanji is going to use the onyomi or kunyomi pronunciation is determined by things like, wanting to evoke other words as homophones, wordplay, etc… (In laymans terms, onyomi is the original Chinese pronunciation of kanji, while kunyomi is the pronunciation adaptioned to Japanese. Generally speaking, on is used in all-kanji words, and kun is typically in mixes of kanji/hiragana. But not always… aha. I have at least seen even natives struggle with some of Iro-sensei's decisions so I try to not feel too stupid about it.)

kun/on is kind of CONFUSING so I'll try to explain things in a simplified way... we are not professionals or scholars here.

I feel like it has to be included in all of this, even if we can hardly parse it.

白杖代 - hakujoudai / 白 - white (typically pronounced 'shiro', but in an all-kanji word, 'haku' is another pronunciation) As said, 杖代 is not a word, and I can't say which kanji definition is 'true' [though you can look at them here and here]. In all-kanji words the pronunciation would be "jou" and "dai".

黒杖代 - kokujoudai. / 黒 - black, (typically pronounced 'kuro' but in an all-kanji word, 'koku' is another pronunciation)

杖代 - tsueshiro - the incredible made-up word. It's using the pronunciations that would typically be used for words that AREN'T all kanji. but you can fudge it sometimes, which Iro-sensei does often , for words/names.

依代 - yorishiro - extant word. its NOT the same as 'Tsueshiro', but it shares the 'shiro' part. Worth thinking about.

The joudai are more or less "black joudai" and "white joudai", but Iro-sensei DID choose to name them distinctly.

黒白 connotates "black/white" in a "right/wrong" sense in some contexts. but it would be pronounced 'kuroshiro'....... Because Iro-sensei loves homophonous words, and homophonous words are frequently highly significant in character names, I will bother to mention that "kokuhaku", the combination of their names, black/white, is the word for 'confession' (not in kanji, but phonetically, or spoken aloud). Does this meaning anything? We do not know, Iro-sensei is insane.

Why do they both get pronounced 'Tsueshiro' and also 'Joudai' with the same kanji? Don't know.

Regardless of the unique name, their shape and candor is not without precedent.

In JP mythology, there are various sorts of orbs like this. Even in this manga, Yako has a more typical and decorative series of fire-balls about her. (probably 'kitsunebi' ?)

Nene-chan refers to Hanako's as "hitodama-chan", and "hitodama"[人魂] are, unlike simple little fireballs, the souls of the dead. You can read basic mythos about hitodama here! just ol' wiki why not...

Nene-chan is no authority, but it's interesting she calls them this, and not any of the other various terms for spirit-fire or what have you. Maybe they seem personable to her, or give off an air...

We don't know anything about them, really, but I can describe to you the little we can observe.

In boundaries, as mysteries are Gods of their own shrines, the Tsueshiro cannot be used.

After the Yorishiro blessing a Mystery with Godlike power is destroyed, the Tsueshiro can then be used again. The SECOND Yashiro peels Yako's Yorishiro, Hanako dons his Tsueshiro. He does not wear it in her boundary before this moment , as Yako could simply forbid it.

I believe the Tsueshiro are exclusive to Amane and Tsukasa; I think Tsukasa simply trusts Sakura/Natsuhiko to use them much more freely and order them, unlike Hanako. I wonder if Yashiro, if allowed, COULD be allowed to command Hanako's Tsueshiro, given that she is his kannagi?

One is a solid green 🟢 circle The other is an open ⭕circle with white in its middle.

The solid green 🟢 joudai is what Hanako appends to become a holy spirit, impervious to things like the exorcist's lightning. We never see him append ⭕. When in this form, he dons his cape, or manto (loanword 'mantle'), just a normal part of this old uniform style (his is just fancay).

He also uses the 🟢 to attack kaii, suchas Yako, or the Mokke

however, when he hits the lights above Aoi, he uses ⭕. he also uses ⭕ to move Nene-chan's cart to the moon in No. 4's boundary.

Typically, the red ⭕ is used to guard, or scout. Hanako will have it tail Nene-chan, hide in her pocket, or stay behind to monitor a situation while he is away.

Tsukasa's ⭕ seems to also be used for scouting and observation.

in the Far Shore arc, Hanako leaves ⭕ on the train to watch over that situation, while he keeps 🟢 with him and Nene-chan.

^⭕ staying behind with everyone

^ keeping 🟢 with him, probably so he can access his blessed form if need be to protect Nene-chan or what have you.

as for Tsukasa, he uses both ⭕+🟢 to send Nene-chan to Sumire's boundary

but this is .... the only time I've seen him use 🟢 .... if Tsukasa's can attack, or be appended to him, we haven't seen. (but bare in mind that we didn't know Hanako could also use the sleep-spell, which Tsukasa uses on Nene-chan in vol 7, and Hanako doesn't show us SURPRISE!! he can use until vol. 10. It might be that the boys share everything... we don't know!)

Hanako also uses his 🟢 to pluck Nene-chan from Sumire's boundary, so...

[but here anyway, Hanako ONLY has 🟢, as ⭕ is away helping Akane/Aoi/Teru....]

Both Tsukasa and Hanako appear to use ⭕ to 'poof' away, or get to a location. Of course for Tsukasa you have the rooftop scene, for Hanako you get a few confirmations he can do the same...

In any event ..........

Hanako often talks to ⭕

both Hanako and Sakura tend to say thank-you to the orbs, or ask them questions, updates, directly.

They really externally interface with them as if they are talking ...

Hanako is pretty affectionate with his.

the orbs seemingly can express anxiety or stress at situations.

Is it significant, the differences between 🟢 and ⭕? I don't know.

[puckintheisles]

3: skeletons? in MY gardens of flesh and bone?

He wandered back to the town as it was getting very dark. The first building was promising. His hopes were right, as the inside seemed to be some kind of inn. The innkeeper was tired and not particularly useful, but she also didn't seem to care about charging for a room. He had money on them from the boat. It was handy for buying some food, consisting of some familiar items such as bread and pears and whatever a baliwog leg was.

He went upstairs and just searched for a bed. The room next door was empty, but clearly occupied by someone who was really into leaving around piles of corpses and whatnot. Concerning, to say the least, but they really were too tired to think about it. Despite it all, there was a full night of sleep to be gained.

The events of the day before were not a dream at all. He woke up in the gross bed, went down to buy another pear, and recalled the events of before. Simple order of events demand that he has to just kill that thing. He braves speaking to a few residents around town, who reveal that this one guy is also trying to kill that thing.

He seems nice. Puck doesn't really have it in him to question and just nods and hopes for the best. Jayred tells him that the secret to killing the gatekeeper is the bones of a different gatekeeper. He just needs someone to unlock the Gardens of Flesh and Bone. Puck has a bad feeling those gardens have nothing to do with nice flowers.

This dude takes off at an unreasonable speed. Puck's in pretty fine shape, but they struggle to keep up. dude means business. the cardio from this adventure is going to go far if and when he gets back home.

He hands Puck a lockpick and tells him to get the gate open. They're just thankful that they thought learning to lockpick in middle school to seem badass and cool actually came in handy someday. He nails it on the first try, only to be assaulted by a skeleton. like, a living skeleton with a big fucking axe. it just starts swinging at him. how the fuck is it even holding an axe?

He realizes that he can do things like shoot fireballs out of his hands and do some kind of healing magic now. He needs to work on his archery skills a bit, though. Apparently you can't be shaking violently and screaming and crying while trying to use a bow or you miss a lot. Whatever. This pile of bones is picked apart by Jayred and Puck is left to his own devices while he sets out to make some arrows. Fortunately, they don't actually have to say much to get by. People here seem content with rambling as long as they're prompted with a "what?" and "why?".

[danglovely]

Regrading Taskmaster: S05E02 The leprechaun or the lesbian.

*Score changes noted in parenthesis.

Prize Task: Hippest Item of Headwear

So here we're looking for trendy, or in Sally's case . . . hip bones. It does feel right to give Nish one here seeing as neither Disneyland souvenirs nor articles of clothing with your name on it cross into to trendy. I normally don't go for puns, but Sally's is really good (also, am I crazy or does the hat not look all that bad?). Mark got ranked low because it was funny, but the Neon looked cool even if that hat seems like it's going to go up in flames at every moment.

Aisling brought in Yorkshire pudding being worn by Dave Gorman. Sort of a random pairing and even if Dave Gorman was part of the prize, he's not the hippest former Taskmaster contestant you could have picked. Bob's war hat looks like the one Dumb Donald wore on Fat Albert. It still seems like it should beat Nish and Aisling.

Aisling: 2 (-1) Bob: 3 (-1) Mark: 4 (+2) Nish: 1 (0) Sally: 5 (0)

VT 01: Make the best coconut flinging machine. You have twenty minutes and one attempt. Furthest coconut fling wins.

For fun, I checked the Wikipedia article Mark referenced and there is no longer any mention of hats, if there ever was. Bob and Mark are both getting disqualifications from me because I think the both fail at two different hurdles: (1) I've never heard of a hat or a crutch referred to as "a machine." The simple machine both were trying to emulate was the lever, but the actual lever being employed was just their arms. (2) Neither of them make anything. They appropriated things that they found.

The other three all did terribly, but at least they made something.

Aisling: 3 (+1) Bob: DQ (-5) Mark: DQ (-2) Nish: 4 (+1) Sally: 5 (+1)

VT 02: Paint the best rainbow scene. You may not open the lab door until the task is complete.

Ohhhhhhh . . . I can't see the colors.

I contend that the point of this task is to paint an accurate rainbow, but Greg gets hung up on the word "scene." Even if this mattered, a picture of a rainbow by itself can constitute a scene.

Sally's rainbow goes purple, green, purple, brown, yellow, orange, red, and indigo turning into blue. They're all there, but way too many colors that I would probably struggle to identify as a rainbow if I didn't know what was happening.

Aisling's rainbow goes green, red, brown blue, orange, brown. It does look like a rainbow though and I think I might have even figured out it was a leprechaun.

Bob's rainbow goes yellow, purple, brown, and orange. Worst color scheme so far and the sun he drew would cast doubt on whether that was supposed to be rainbow. Also his little man looks to be five dots.

Nish draws a pristine rainbow shape and doesn't do too badly on the colors. It goes red, purple, orange, green, blue, violet, brown, yellow (so kind of some in the right order).

Mark finds the light switch and basically gets the colors right (he uses brown where indigo should be). As Alex notes, it's a very flat rainbow despite being able to see, but still probably the best.

Aisling: 4 (-1) Bob: 1 (0) Mark: 5 (+2) Nish: 3 (+1) Sally: 2 (-2)

Note: Bob's story about the first house he painted is so damn funny.

VT 03: There is a loaf of bread in the lab. Slice the loaf as neatly as possible. You may use one tool only and that tool must be found in the caravan.

A mass disqualification task! I suppose Aisling could have argued that the task was referring to the loaf in the caravan, but it's not a winning argument. Bob and Sally pretty clearly use multiple tools and Nish's loaf is pretty clearly cut cleaner than Mark's.

Aisling: DQ Bob: DQ Mark: 4 Nish: 5 Sally: DQ

Team Task: Achieve the greatest splat.

I think Team Wumar's yogurt works much better than the team of three, evidenced by the real pain Mark seemed to be in while being continuously buffeted. The other team's balloons didn't satisfyingly splat on impact. The only reason I'm not going for the 4-1 split is Sally getting hit by a piss balloon, swinging a condom around, while shouting "die die die" and holding a sword.

Aisling, Bob, & Sally: 2 Mark and Nish: 3

Live Task: With your face placed firmly in your hole at all times, paint the most recognizable animal, vegetable, or mineral. You must incorporate your face in the picture.

I'm going to interpret this as what I think the task was going for, because the way it's phrased makes the win condition dependent on the subject matter you select, not how recognizable your picture is.

The win condition is accuracy and Bob's ice cream cone colors were pretty foul looking. Aisling's cat picture is pretty good, but she hurt herself by picking difficult subject matter.

They didn't do a great comparison shot of the three carrots, so I can't really evaluate them for accuracy.

Aisling: 2 (-3) Bob: 1 (-3) Mark: 5 (0) Nish: 5 (0) Sally: 5 (0)

Final

Aisling: 13 (-4) Bob: 7 (-9) Mark: 21 (+2) Nish: 21 (+2) Sally: 19 (-1)

So Nish and Mark tie the episode. No tiebreakers available because this is the closest Nish ever got to even contending for an episode win. Mark had some good tiebreaker performances, so my guess is he would have beaten Nish . . . but without an opportunity to prove it, joint win to Wumar.