#and it upsets me!! when it's someone I've talked to or thought I could get along with
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As an autistic person I would love to point something out with Evan/Sam. If you ship them then this is not or saying you can't do that, but it is a specific perspective based on the last episode since Evan is so heavily autistic coded.
When Evan is talking with Jammer about taking "Family on 6" literally, I FELT that. Like deep down in my soul. I have people who I made deep connections with, and then when life happened and we maybe drifted apart, my brain DID. NOT. UNDERSTAND. IT. I thought they hated me, that we didn't have that deep connection anymore. I didn't understand how our interactions could be different, but we still had a deep connection. And because they didn't understand why I didn't understand, I've lost those friendships. I've gotten better at it, mostly by taking people at their word and therapy, but I still don't necessarily get it.
Now when I see Evan and Sam, I see that deep connection of friendship and I see Sam validating the hell out of it CONSTANTLY. Not only that, but showing the hell up in very concrete ways that show she means what she says. I see her taking Family on 6 and maybe if she doesn't see it the same way Evan does, she knows how he sees it and shows up for him in that way.
Now could it be romantic? Sure! 100%! But as someone who has had that past confusion with people, it feels so nice to see a friend meeting an autistic person where they are at. Cause it's gonna look different from other friendships! It requires a lot of frank communication that sometimes people only see in romantic relationship. Honestly, as an autistic person, sometimes it feels like the only person we will have a connection like that with is a romantic partner so while I won't be upset if they start dating, I also don't really ship it, cause to me, it feels so NORMAL for a friendship. It feels like seeing how I view friendship get some representation. It doesn't feel like it's leading to anything "more" or deeper cause that's just not how my autistic brain views connecting with people.
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#ask#dropout#dropout tv#dimension 20#d20#dimension twenty#brennan lee mulligan#bleem#danielle radford#evan kelmp#sam britain#sam black#mismag spoilers#d20 misfits & magic#d20 misfits and magic#misfits and magic chapter 2#misfits & magic chapter 2#misfits and magic season 2#misfits & magic season 2#d20 misfits & magic c2#d20 misfits & magic s2#misfits and magic#misfits & magic#mismag s2#mismag c2#misfits & magic 2#mismag 2#misfits and magic 2#misfits and magic two#misfits and magic c2
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pisses me off how lesbians don't get to have authority on lesbianism. can't decide what it does and doesn't mean, can't decide what is and isn't lesbophobia. can't even have your own spaces without being called a terf no matter how inclusive you are to trans women. or even if you are a trans lesbian. everyone gets to dictate lesbianism except lesbians, and they don't have to listen to us either
#lesbophobia#discourse#I don't wanna vague people but there's someone who blocked me and on examining their blog in a private window#and looking up lesbian on their blog- yup. they support the idea of bi/pan and male lesbians#you can criticize me for doing that but like. half the time that's the exact reason I get blocked. it's a lesbophobe#and it upsets me!! when it's someone I've talked to or thought I could get along with#you're not a lesbian#and you're going to be so judgmental of a lesbian talking about lesbianism?#and you don't even know you're being lesbophobic. you think I don't get to decide that#it's a bummer. can we be normal about lesbians
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#tag talk#social anxiety is so much worse to deal with when only half of you is anxious because you never know when it'll happen#like. R is not anxious at all. she loves being around people and since we came out she's not scared anymore#but me on the other hand? being around people is a nightmare. agoraphobic for sure.#I wanted to go running again cause we woke up at six again. but the thought of going outside and being perceived? terrifying.#maybe I need to practice getting R to front. we're used to thinking of L as the defensive front but if R's sociability is the best strategy#then she would be the strongest front to present.#the problem is I've tried that and it just results in me feeling even more sullen and anxious because I feel dragged into things then.#because going out on public even with friends still makes me feel anxious and angry and generally annoyed.#ugh I'm so tired of being unpredictably two different people.#if I were just L all the time I could embrace that and find workarounds to these issues. but they hit me so unpredictably#so I don't have the reliability to trust. so my strategy is usually just 'wait until you change into someone without those problems'#because whatever issue I have can usually be fixed by the other half of me.#scared of upsetting people? turn into L. scared of socializing? turn into R. scared of doing tasks? turn into L.#it's also wild because when we're L we shift into a morning person. and R is definitely a night owl#so waking up at five am to go out and read a book on the couch is so great as L but staying up all night reading is R's sweet spot.#idk. I'm so tired of bouncing so much between these two people#and I'm beginning to suspect that we have different food preferences as well. which is.. frustrating#I wish it were as easy as going 'oh duh I'm making this up in my own head' and just stopping#like. yeah it's all in my head unfortunately that's where my sense of identity is too.
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local man discovers he's gotten into the habit of using DBT techniques without actually being taught them because at some point he realised that the things we get the urge to do when we have strong emotions often aren't healthy and that he doesn't like how he feels afterwards so he started noticing when that was happening and going "fuck that shit" and doing the opposite instead
#personal#thoughts#Lucy post#talking to 🍬 about various stuff we do because of our social anxiety and what are probably undiagnosed BPD symptoms#and we realised he's gotten himself into the habit of paying attention to how his emotions affect his judgement#and trying to take a step back when he's experiencing an emotion that he knows gives us the urge to do stuff that's not healthy for us#and he said he felt bad about having those emotions and urges to do unhealthy stuff#at which point I was like ''okay but you're choosing not to act on that and to take a step back and do something healthier instead#which is what actually matters here and is also something that takes a hell of a lot of self-awareness and self-control''#this is shit they teach you in therapy that's difficult specifically because you're going against your brain's instincts for a situation#and we were never taught how to do it so you've just fucking taught yourself to do it instead#without actually knowing it's a specific technique that has a name#I was aware of it but had never actually looked at the instructions properly because when I stumbled across it#it was at a point where being told to go against what my emotions made me want to do felt invalidating and upsetting#I've literally just pieced together that ''oh right that's what that is and how it's supposed to work#and how it's meant to feel when you do it right''#anyway all this is to say that I keep being impressed with the amount of progress 🍬's made on learning healthy coping mechanisms#including things I could never seem to get the hang of when I was fronting more and handling more stuff#and I'm really proud of him and 🦋 and everyone else who's been handling stuff within the system and keeping things running#but also nobody in here seems to realise how much progress they've made with anything until someone else points it out#I just realised I should tag this as#happy posting#because I'm talking about stuff that's going well and where we've actually made a lot of progress
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you ever end up typing a rant in the tags so long tumblr physically cuts you off and the post publishes with probably only 1/3rd of the tags
#had an interaction with The Leech™ and it left me feeling so frustrated and upset#tl;dr: i wanted to record today but she showed up and started talking so loudly my mic could pick her up through my bedroom door#and it hit me that it's fucked up that she's somehow just allowed to come and go as she pleases#(and is actively entertaining the thought of moving back in for a minimum of 2 months if she gets the surgery she's looking for)#(2 months to 2 years according to her words)#(despite the fact that she was literally evicted nearly a year ago)#(after 7+ years of sleeping on our couch and making our lives hell and generally dodging any attempt to get her to get a life and move out)#anyway after about 20 minutes of chatter i heard her go outside#find the plant i bought and planted myself this last week#(the first one i've ever had ! ! ! )#(every other plant i've ever cared for has either been my grandmother's or a gift from someone else)#(most notably the two peace lilies from my dad's memorial service)#and dump. an entire bucket of water on it. left over from soaking her orchids she insists on keeping here.#spoilers: it's a desert plant that requires low moisture and well-drained soil#so i went out and got on her about that and she insisted she was just trying to help#(like how she was '''just trying to help''' when she nearly drowned both of the aforementioned lilies)#(because she literally kept putting in water until there was noting but standing water without soil in the pot)#and for a half hour after kept coming in to bother me about the plant#asking where i bought it and if she could have clippings and asking if i had the right soil or the right tools#and reminding me of how i tried to grow pumpkin seeds when i was six and they died#and INSISTING she knew more about caring for it despite the fact that i literally researched this plant for a solid week before#and jsu t#another instance of The Leech™ trying to jam herself into my life so she can claim she's a provider and i'm helpless without her#but also turn around and complain about how it's sooo hard caring for us and how it's //impossible// for her to get a life#if she's busy caring for us#fuck off and die actually
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i'm going to be seeing a new therapist later this month & i want to bring up possibly/probably having osdd, but i know that since more people have been kinda learning about what DID and osdd actually *are* there's been an influx of ppl claiming to have it (ftr it is NOT my place to tell people they're faking lmao, i don't care if someone claims to have a disorder and then later it turns out they don't & i don't think most ppl are "faking." it's between them & their therapist if they have it or not and it harms no one to self dx, people taking it less seriously isn't the fault of self dxed people either)
but anyway i'm worried that if i go into a therapist's office and immediately tell them i think i have Today's Trendy Disorder i won't be taken seriously. but at the same time there is really obviously *something* going on with me that isn't just normal depression & anxiety and treatment methods for bpd (like dbt, mood stabilizers, etc) haven't helped even a little bit over the several years i've been seeking treatment for it so i'm starting to suspect there's something else going on i haven't been seeing & honestly after talking with my last therapist abt stuff (who i was seeing for bpd/trauma stuff but looking back they were pretty obviously trying to get me to figure out i had a dissociative disorder, whether or not i do they certainly thought so) i'm realizing that some of the things i experience are a lot less normal than i thought and may be consistent w/ an osdd diagnosis (probably not DID because i don't really experience significant memory stuff though lol. i do a little but it's less "can't remember at all" and a little more like waking up from a dream where i can recall the gist of stuff but it feels far away)
i don't even know what id do with a diagnosis though. honestly i just want answers and a place to start in regards to treatment more than anything else
(advice welcome but not expected)
#idk though maybe it is just anxiety#lot of folks im seeing have like. this detailed internal world and talk to their alters and#have like very distinct separate identities and act really different and all that#my stuff is just like..... idk man#i thought i had osdd when i was a teenager but i eventually decided it was bpd mood swings and identity issues#and any memory stuff i did deal with was adrenaline from anxiety#and i'm still not convinced it's like#NOT that?#but the way people talk to me about myself when they're upset w/ me#like there's always this implication that i should be able to control what i do and say even when my emotions are boiling over#but i... Can't#if it's a situation where i could seriously fuck my or someone elses life up i can wrench back control of myself enough#to not get in serious trouble but when i get like how i do there have been times i literally know i shouldnt be doing something and#i want to stop so fucking badly and i just am basically watching myself fuck me over and make awful choices and i can't. stop myself#& i just. i always thought i was just making excuses for myself and that i was just. one of those horrible assholes#who acts like they cant control themself when they hurt others#(& i do take responsibility for the times i've hurt other people or lashed out unfairly. regardless of if it was me or an alter#it's still my responsibility to make things right)#but. idk. maybe it's not just that i'm a bad person#maybe there really is something actually going on with me and i can learn to cope w/ it in healthier ways#also shut up yeah the mp100 finale got me thinking abt this again ok. seeing mob helplessly watching from inside himself#as a Different Him went on a horrible unstoppable rampage. & the solution was that he had to accept the other him as part of himself#was. very much an 'oh' moment for me. so uh#yeah
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A heartfelt and grievously expanded-upon update to this—please, please read the whole thing if you can. reblogs much appreciated.
(DISCLAIMER, for all who are saying reasons like abusive parents/legal stuff/toxic ex/triggering memories/page got deleted/job/stalkers/bullying/[[insert any other shitty life thing]], This is not concerning that—personal safety & health ALWAYS comes first, and is worth more than any media ever could be. This is my biggest reason for defending that autonomy. I would be a hypocrite to say I hadn’t deleted triggering posts of mine or ones that got me in trouble with my family.)
it genuinely makes me sad and kinda upset when someone purges all their old art off the internet like. barring harmful content what if someone liked that. What if someone would have. And now nobody will ever know and it's just gone. even people's old invader zim askblogs or whatever getting deleted feels like a micro alexandria to me and that's just something I made up. I wasn't even thinking of a specific one it just stresses me out. Is this the autism I don't get why nobody else seems to freak internally abt it like I do. I see artists whose blogs I've never even looked at go like "man so glad I deleted all my old stuff it's so clean" or saying they throw out art from when they were kids I'm like. how are you not hurling. How is that not distressing that is literally your tree rings why would you do that. I want to see what's out there. people want to see it I promise someone out there likes it
...don't they??? Does everyone get quietly irrationally upset by this as me, or is this just hyperfixation/autism/some amalgam of the two. I'm not a hoarder or obsessive compulsive or anything like that so i wonder..
Anyways. reblog if you had a favorite amateur youtube animator in your childhood whose channel got nuked without a trace one day that you still think about.
I wanted to attach this video because it condenses my point very well. A TLDR of sorts. Please watch the whole thing, it genuinely changed the entire way I think about art as a concept.
(2nd vid is "Subjectivity in Art")
“The moment your art touches an audience, the ownership shifts in an irreversible way. [They're] not having an art experience with you and your intentions. They're having an art experience with the art object.
“You can't just burn your past; it's not even your past to burn anymore. It's other people's history as well. Whether or not you like it, that art is already bonded to somebody's soul, and if you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it.”
The digital age makes it very easy to distance or detach yourself from the impact your work has—be it art, fanfic, videos, even memes. Online content is as important to people now as any other media, if not more. But it's also by far the easiest, fastest, and most effective form of it to erase from public access. Media so unbelievably important to people and in general. Yes, you—with the 2010s purple sparkle dog speedpaint. I still think about that speedpaint all the time, because it was the first time i learned that you could draw on a computer, and I thought it was cool as hell. I still do.
I do wish there was a stronger culture of preservation and consideration for this, because every time I see people talk about snuffing their stuff because it doesn't personally resonate with them anymore, I just think ...what about all the people it did?
I've seen lots of people saying "get over it, it doesn't even matter," but it fucking does. It does matter. Even if I didn’t make it, even if I don’t have to deal with being the one who made it, even if I'm naturally inclined to be distressed by it—It still matters. And there’s nothing you could ever say to suddenly make it not matter, because there’s nothing you could ever say to make it not matter to me.
Don't devalue the act of creation. Don't dismiss something you made. It's out there, in people's thoughts and hearts and souls, and that is real. Even if you don't know it. Especially if you don't know it. Especially in a world where physical media is being snuffed out, the internet is constantly dying without any physical remains to recover, social isolation is rampant, and simply because independently produced content online is still media.
Fanfiction can hold equal or greater significance to someone as a book, but you can’t unpublish a book. Authors don’t have a button that can vaporize every copy of their work across all time, but fanfiction authors do. I’m not counting people who download fics either—when you buy a book, that transaction is over. But online, you have the power of unending transaction that can be terminated instantly at your will. The process of publishing fanfic vs. publishing a book may be different, but people’s connection to the art is the same intensity.
So yeah. I do get depressed about the Internet being a constant Alexandria, but the times I get the most depressed is when I click someone's page and see that all their work is gone because they're ‘curating a new aesthetic’ for their page or some shit. Or weeding out all the "ugly" art. Or just went on whatever the hell 'thrill deleting' is, because they just get a kick out of it.
Fuck it—yeah! It upsets me! I’m not wrong to say that. I’m saying it!
Under the cut, because it got long as shit! Also don’t worry the ending is way sappier and more ‘beauty of human nature’ vibe so it’s not all doom and gloom lol
What if that was someone's favorite art of that character. What if someone read that 'cringe oneshot' on the worst day of their life. What if that Warriors meme vid is still burned into a college student’s mind despite being gone for 10 years. What if it's actually not just you and the ones and zeros you rent out to the world—secure in knowing the original will always be on your computer for you to do whatever you want with it.
I really, deeply wish there was more of a general awareness of this, because even though social media can be used like a diary, that’s functionally the opposite of what it is. It’s social media. When you post, it’s no longer in a vacuum, even though you can’t see the real humans that content touches—often deeply.
Media is history. You shouldn’t burn that history just because you personally believe it isn’t worth saving.
Because it’s no longer just your personal opinion. It’s no longer just your personal work. it’s. history. Memory of media is not a suitable replacement for the media itself. If it was, we wouldn’t save anything at all. Nostalgia is an agent of that. The definition of nostalgia is grief for moments of the past that are inaccessible, and the biggest balm for that pain is accessing a physical reminder of those moments. That opinion of yours is no longer personal. It’s weighed against uncountable people across all time that your thing is ALSO personal to. People who would, and will mourn its absence.
How many times have you joined an older fandom only to discover that some of its most popular works are gone? How many times have you routed through random blogs looking for scraps people hopefully reblogged? how many times have you used Wayback machine desperately praying that a fan fiction or a YouTube video will be there? How many times do you look up crunchy old vines or YouTube videos or anime AMV‘s? How many times do you remember old fanfic.net sex that impacted you in middle school, only to shake your head and go ‘probably no point even looking.’
i mourn the absence. No, people can’t and shouldn’t have their agency over what they post revoked, but they should be conscious of that weight. If you’re reading this and getting extremely annoyed, and you’re not in the pink text above,,,, good.
I honestly do hope it gets under your skin. I hope it sits with you. I hope you feel it every time you hit that button, and whether or not you do hit that button—if you hesitate, if you remember this, even spitefully, I’ve done my job. I am howling into the void. And I may not want an answer, but I do want my anguish to be heard and remembered. Because it isn’t me just being melodramatic.
I know I sound that way writing so much, but if my favorite writing YouTuber can drop trow this week and go, "yeah, sorry, all my video essays from less than a year ago that you listen to in the car all the time? I'm "rebranding" my content so i deleted them. besides, my personal views don't really agree align with the analyses i did, or the techniques i taught in them anyway. Sorry if some of the literal tens of thousands of you used them, but I don't want to feel shackled to having youtuber "classics" tied to me”
….then i guess I'm just going to have to sound dramatic! That fucking sucks! Hours of work and knowledge gone! This was a new channel too. It’s very likely there’s no archive of any kind, because who would think someone who worked hard enough to write, record, and edit hour-long videos, would just turn around and nuke it all? I definitely didn’t see it coming, but I did just start a new screenwriting class a few weeks ago, so I’ll tell you at least one person is REALLY missing those fucking videos right now. Because a lot of them were about specifically screenwriting, which I know jack shit about. and that specific person’s pace, editing, and style of breaking down information was the best suited style I found that I could focus on and absorb. There’s no replacement for that. No alternative for his individual perspective. his jokes. his opinions.
No, they may not resonate with him now, but in this decision, he’s put up a big middle finger to everyone who might have. And he has like 100k subscribers! Those are confirmed supporters! Imagine how many silent and untethered observers are feeling this loss right now. Imagine how many will not have it in the future.
If he never posted them at all, we wouldn’t know we had it. It wouldn’t be a loss. But we did. We did have it. Until he decided that no, we didn’t, because he just happens to be the one out of millions of individuals holding the button to burn it in a hundredth of a second.
His personal work, the attachment I had to it, and the ways that it helped me are now just ripped away. I am one person out of millions, literal MILLIONS of people who saw and liked this content before it vanished. The soul has been ripped, the access severed, and by CJ’s (and my) definition, the art is functionally dead. Not for the YouTuber or anyone else lucky enough to save a link or download, but everyone else. From this point until the end of time, even if people even two weeks from now don’t know it. Even if someone who stumbles upon his channel today, doesn’t know it.
We only mourn the concept of Alexandria because we had some kind of scope for what was inside. Yes, maybe you got self-conscious and deleted your 12 year old deviant art account. Do you know who else is doing that?? THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of other twenty somethings who ALSO feel self-conscious about their old socials. Art. Fanfic. One direction fan videos. anything.
Suddenly, an unquantifiable amount of information from your age group—an entire age group in 2012, is. gone. And we will NEVER know what’s been erased from that history. We will NEVER know what could have been significant to us ten years from now. Twenty years from now. A hundred years. A thousand.
You could have deleted a fanfic that would have been someone else’s new go-to panic attack distraction tomorrow. You could have deleted a video someone used to laugh at with their friend who died yesterday. When you delete something, you risk tearing a hole in unknowable personal histories.
The Internet isn’t just a big library of Alexandria. It’s a library containing libraries. And those libraries have their own libraries in those libraries have their own as well. libraries inside libraries, inside libraries, ad infinitum. To conceive the amount of destroyed history on the Internet is crushing.
And I just can’t help but I ask myself how in gods name people can choose to contribute to that, instead of reposting everything to trash heap alts titled “hall of shame” or some shit.
You can offload to alts. Put up disclaimers. Make password locked blogs, or dropboxes, or anonymous imgur dumps. Anonymous reuploads. Orphan fics. Make a playlist or linktree of unlisted videos. Cut off the watermarks. Delete all references to it on your main. Make a dedicated unlisted playlist. make a google drive. Make new portfolio sites. Delete any questions you get about it. Change pen names. Pretend it never existed.
Give a heads up.
Something.
But don’t. kill. the media.
The knowledge that our stuff is going to forever be tied to us is a cross we have to bear, but the responsibility that comes with putting it out there in the first place, can’t be ignored.
Anyway. I'm not trying to start conflict. This is not a bash on anyone, nor a call for witch hunts. Or anon hate, or blocks and unfollows or anything of that nature. I'm not wishing ramifications or hate of any kind on anyone who does wants to do any of this.
I'm also not guilt tripping— I am not saying that you should feel bad. I AM saying why it makes me feel bad. That’s not guilting, it’s a dialogue. One I personally feel is long overdue.
It's me yelling into the void: please consider the real people on the other side of the screen before you hit that button. Realize and know that whatever you're about to erase from history could be the most important thing in the world to someone.
Art is an experience. It's why we revisit it. If art and history simply lived in the matter and code of media, we would only need to look at it once. We wouldn’t put things in museums. We wouldn’t build libraries. We wouldn’t look up vine compilations.
If you're able, consider (and I do mean consider, this is not a call to action) not destroying that. And don’t shrug it off as some pretentious asshole venting on Tumblr. You only need to look in the notes and tags to see that it isn’t just me. it’s never just me, or you, or the pixels.
And even if you do shrug it off, then at least recognize that what you make matters. Whatever you think about it, if it’s out there, that's not your discretion anymore. If a tree falls in the woods and even one person is around to see it, it fucking mattered. Because it happened. Don’t mulch your tree rings if you don’t have to. Because if enough people do it, a whole forest is gone. Media is history, no matter whether you think it’s worth putting in a museum, or only has 30 notes.
Thousands of years ago, a child named onfim doodled on his homework. They’re crude, and everyone has the wrong amount of fingers, and they’re also priceless archaeological artifacts recognizable throughout the world.
the only thing separating Onfim’s doodles and your MS paint Pokémon doodles is time. The only thing separating your old MS paint Pokémon doodles from being a priceless artifacts, thousands of years in the future is time. Your creations are already priceless artifacts. No matter what you do, don't ever, ever deny that. It isn’t blowing up your own ass, it’s artistic and anthropological fact.
The mundane and the supposedly unworthy are often the first things lost to time, and that’s why they’re so precious. That’s why artists who were before their time are scorned first only to be celebrated later. Do you think they knew that was going to happen?? What if they nuked it? Many probably did! But now that’s happening exponentially and instantaneously everywhere, WITHOUT the artist having to destroy their only copy—which makes it way easier and more dismissable.
Sometimes, If you’re revolutionary enough, people will make an effort to preserve your work, but recognized and thoroughly recorded work is rare compared to unrecognized and thoroughly recorded work.
Sometimes something is beloved enough that it would be impossible for it not to go down in history, but even then it isnt a guarantee, and it’s rare. But if van Gogh burned all of his paintings in a fit of despair before his death, we would have no van Gogh. Because he wasn’t respected as an artist in his time, but that wasn’t what defined the worth of his art. The people after him did, because his art was still there for them.
If you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it. If you belittle your art, you belittle the very real relationships and emotions and revisitations people have with the media. You defy the inherent worth and weight of a creation. you created. That's effort. It's passion. No matter how flippant or unskilled or worthless you think it is, it matters. Because at the end of the day, you could have chosen to make nothing at all, and you didn't.
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Muting notifs
#artists on tumblr#Artistic#digital art#art history#anthropology#humanity#art discussion#art theory#skit yells
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Huh.
#doll#i think. he might be startin to let me in a little bit.#yea yea i know he could be fakin it but he's only ever done that when i've been really upset n on the verge of leavin#(assuming that was fake either but it was at least calculated)#& he'd have to be gettin desperate to start fakin vulnerability to this extent#i've been so completely infatuated for a couple of days now again that it wouldn't fit the pattern at all#especially with the way he's...sayin the kinda things that he knows played a part in me becomin more independent to begin with#tellin me i really should have reaper get me outta there if he gets out of control again n doesn't listen when i ask him to stop#even though he hates the thought of someone else protectin me. he can deal with it when it's somewhere he can't do it (like out here) but#if he's there but not doin it so someone else needs to? he looked. really upset about it. cause apparently that's his job#upset with himself not me (or reaper. who he only referred to as 'that guy' sgsgsgsg)#& talkin about how it's not fair the way the only people men like him can really be with are ones like me. cause if it's someone more like#them that fights back n doesn't put up with their shit it's just mutually toxic n everyone's secretly miserable#but when it's someone like me we get hurt so that they can get better. when we really should be w/ someone good n kind n safe#said i shouldn't be the one to pay the price for that. but i'm his 'only shot at getting better' n he doesn't wanna let me go#n it was. a lot. he's never talked about 'gettin better' before. just 'learning how to take care of me right'#but up til now he's always rejected the idea that he'd even need to get better. that there's anythin to heal.#i mean. i'm stayin as long as it looks like he's makin progress. or til he relapses enough times to burn me out completely n i go dormant#that was always the plan. i'm just slowly gettin better at keepin my distance when he's back to his old ways#i just.....really wish he'd stop self sabotaging n talkin about himself the way he does. like ok you wanna be bad then be bad but#stop actin like you're too far gone n all the shit you say about yourself is so built in you can't change em even if you want to#not with that attitude you can't!#spdrvent
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When I've read Dracula in the past, I always found it annoying that the dude squad decide to try to leave Mina out of the rest of the fight against Dracula. But idk, listening to re: Dracula these past few days kinda made me realize how it makes sense from their perspective.
Van Helsing mentioned that Mina is recently married, and thus, is potentially pregnant. With that thought, there'd be even more reason to be protective of her physical and emotional well-being.
Lucy very recently died. Lucy was someone that they all loved to varying degrees, and she was someone who died barely a week ago, and was actually killed a few days ago. They saw how the soft one they loved got twisted into a monster, which they wouldn't want to happen to Mina.
They left her in a house full of people that they thought was well defended, and they didn't realize that Dracula had anyone in the house to invite him in since Mina doesn't sleep walk.
She was present when Van Helsing listed out all of the powers and weaknesses of the vampire, and she transcribed Seward's diary of the account of how Lucy died. In theory, Mina should know what symptoms to look for in a vampire visit. She even makes comments about how it's like Lucy's comments about her dreams, which should have been a red flag for the girl who's cause of death was "vampire". But, again, she's in a full house that theoretically has no way for Dracula to get in.
This is also the inverse of Jonathan's sealed journal. Mina didn't read it, and after she did, she waited until after Van Helsing confirmed it was true to talk to Jonathan about it. She didn't want to upset him in a way that could hurt his mental state, and this is essentially a higher stakes reverse version of that imo.
Like yeah from a feminism and a reader standpoint, it's shortsighted and frustrating that they don't give Mina all of the information before it's too late. But from an emotional standpoint? If I saw what I thought was a chance to take someone I loved out of the line of fire, I'd do so in a heartbeat to protect them and relieve some of their burdens 🤷♀️
I don't see it as a writing issue, or Van Helsing being a raging evil sexist who's getting people killed. I see it as characters trying to protect someone they care about deeply and being flawed in their approach, and very quickly being proven wrong and admitting to their wrongdoing
I feel like re: Dracula is making me empathize with everyone more lol
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─── ꒰𝓗𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝓐𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓꒱
─── 🌸 𝓦𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 ; ROUGH SEX (?), BREEDING KINK, INTOXICATED SEX ( SMOKE PLAY ), BURN MARK, AMAB!READER, BOTH ARE DICKS, F-SLUR, SLUT SHAMING, DIRTY TALK, LOVE BITES, P IN ASS, POOLRY WRITTEN, UNPROTECTED SEX
─── 🌸 𝓢𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ; IN 𝓦HICH A HEATED ARGUMENT LEADS TO A ROUGH SEX
for my moots @vrtualirl
During a soccer match, You didn't follow Kaiser's plan to pass the ball to him for the final goal, but instead passed the ball to another teammate, Isagi, his rival he despises the most. Kaiser was furious with you. "[Name]!" he shouted your name across the field, you were talking to his rival about the goal, which it enraged him even more, you turned to him and saw him stomping towards you, his eyebrows furrowed, his face irritated. "I think I fucked up lol, he'll probably yell at me like a bitch, I swear to god." You sighed and told your soccer teammate to leave so you wouldn't have to witness their fight. "You fucking, fucked everything up." Kaiser reached up to your face and grabbed your jersey and lifted you up slightly, he forcing you to look him in the eye. "Did you even listen to my idea, were you even listening to me ? What were you thinking playing with this fucking rats ?" Kaiser's face turned dark at the thought of seeing you playing with Isagi.
"I think I did my job by playing, lmao by playing the soccer game ? Did you fucking think you could give me orders? I’m not your bitch, and You're not my goddamn father, so calm the fuck down." You replied by rolling your eyes, thinking his anger at you was useless. "Shut the fuck up, Bëchker. You're the annoying person I've ever seen, acting like a shit and helping Isagi score when I told you to give me the ball to me." he used your lastname to find a way to shut you up, he let go of your shirt and grabbed his hair and pulled it.
You whimpered faintly at the pain. "Fuck off you cunt! Leave my fucking hair alone, you hoe! leave it alone, shit. You're getting upset just over a stupid match, it seems like you're the stupid one here acting like this and grabbing your hair, are you jealous that my haircut isn't messed up and doesn’t look like two rats fucking tails?!" You let go of his grip and frowned. "You're getting me mad as fuck over some fucking soccer game, I swear, why are you so stubborn?" You snapped at him as you gave him the finger and you walked away. "Fuck you." Kaiser whispered as he peered at you heading for the exit. You and he were the only people left in the field, but now he was alone. He clenched his fist, still angry at you.
In a long corridor you made your way to the shower on your left. You sighed at the interaction you'd just had, sometime the boy wanted to made you throw him out the window, he was a spoiled bitch in your opinion. He acted as if there were no consequences to his actions. As you stepped into the room and undressed yourself to wash yourself, you entered the shower and turned on the water, the water was hot enough as you wanted it.
The warm water touching your skin was so pleasant that all the negative thoughts you'd had about Kaiser began to slip away. But then you heard the door slam, someone had entered the shower room and you knew who it was. You ignored the person, deciding to concentrate on your shower, and after a several minutes you turned off the water and stepped out of the stall. The person who had entered the shower after him also came out at the same time, you were really irritated, all you wanted to do everything to avoid him, you tried to be positive and think it was a coincidence that pissed you off.
"Are you doing this on purpose or what, asshole, hope you fucking die you bitch." You couldn't stop yourself from insulting him, his attitude pissed you off immensely. "Shut the fuck up, bitch." Kaiser replied without even looking at you. You grunted and wiped yourself with your towel and put on a pair of underpants, and the tension between you two was awkward, but you knew it would be worse when you were in the dorm with him, since you shared the same room as him. You left the shower room first, leaving Kaiser none the wiser. The blonde frowned as he watched you leave. "Shitty whore, I’ll make you regret."
You made your way to your dormitory, already tired from the day. When you got to the door, it opened automatically and you entered without any trouble. You went to your closet and grabbed the shorts that Blue Lock had given you as pajamas, along with a sweater with the brand's logo on it. You quickly put them on and moved to your bed, which was only a few inches away. "I need a cigarette." You leaned over to your nightstand, pulled out one of the drawers, and took out your pack of cigarettes with the lighter. You opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue, simultaneously opening the pack and placing one on your tongue.
You closed your mouth, the orange stalk at the end was quite unpleasant to feel on your tongue, the texture of the wrapping was also bitter. You brought your lighter to the cigarette and lit it, a small orange-yellow flame appeared. The cigarette was now lit, and you placed the lighter on the table after using it and extinguishing it. You inhaled the smoke, and after that you picked up the cigarette with your index and middle fingers, and removed the cigarette from your lips. You blew the smoke away. You did this several times, thinking deeply.
But someone interrupts your thoughts with a sentence. "Smoking in the bedroom? How many times do I have to tell you not to smoke in here, are you deaf, you stupid bastard?". Kaiser was in the bedroom getting dressed, but you hadn't noticed because you were deep in thought. "It's not my fucking problem that you can't stand smoking, you can just choke on it." Kaiser approached you as soon as you were dressed and leaned into your face. "Shut your mouth, you brainless faggot whore, I hope you die with your fucking cigarette," you backed away as soon as you heard him say that, but he started to get closer and closer.
"You think that insult will scare me or something faggot?" a silence answered him. Kaiser was standing over you, pinning you to your bed, and you decided to break the silence. Kaiser grabbed your cheeks and squeezed them to make you shut up he took your cigarette out of your mouth, the snout still lightened up. You noticed his blue ocean eyes were filled with hatred for what you'd done to him before, but also filled with lust. You tried to speak, but Kaiser leaned down and kissed you.
Your eyes widened, surprised by his action, he let go of your cheeks and closed his eyes. Your bodies pressed warmly against each other, breathing heavily. You closed your eyes as well and wrapped your arms around his neck. Your heart beat increased faster and faster with each passing second, Kaiser began to put his hands under your shirt, touching your flesh.
You moaned slightly as you felt his cold fingers touch your warm skin. The kisses became hot and the sexual tension between them increased, your knees grew weak from the pleasure you felt from the kiss. During the kiss you felt a burning on your neck, you whimpered at the pain you felt, you opened your eyes and saw Kaiser burning your neck with his cigarette, he pressed more and more on your neck with the cigarette and took advantage of your moaning to put his tongue into your mouth. You curled your toes as you felt Kaiser's wet muscles penetrate his mouth, tears welling up in your eyes.
In the middle of your kiss, Kaiser stopped. The blond crushed your cigarette against your skin for the last time and threw it on the bedroom floor. You whined that he'd stopped in the middle of making out, Kaiser rolled his eyes at your complaints. "Quit whining, whore." He stated and moved to your neck and kissed it, sucking on your sensitive skin and using his teeth to leave a red mark shaped like round on your skin.
You put your hand over your mouth and stifled the moan that escaped your throat, which displeased the Emperor. With his left hand, he pulled your hand away and gripped it tightly. "Don't hide your howl, I want to hear it, and that's an order," he let go of your arm as you obey by not putting your hands on your lips, the male begun licked the burn he'd made a few minutes ago. "Ngh... it hurtsss, but ts so good" a faint blush appeared on your cheeks, listening to Kaiser's deep and demanding voice, you felt yourself getting hard in your crotch, which Kaiser quickly noticed your erection.
Kaiser removed your shorts along with your underwear, exposing your erect cock. Your cock was leaking pre-cum from the tip, with his hand he gripped your cock, as you felt his hand taking your penis, it twitched at his grip and with with his thumb Kaiser pressed on your foreskin, and you let out a whimper as you arched your back in pleasure. You bent your legs and squeezed together when Kaiser put too much pressure on the tip.
The blonde easily separate your legs because of how weak they were. As he stroked your dick dryly without using any spit or lube as the mouvements increased ad the second passed, as he left a few fresh and painful bites marks on your thighs as he rubbed your dick at the same times . "You're going way too fast," you whined, feeling your legs curling and shaking as your finger nails was digging into his neck’s flesh at the hard pleasure you felt. With his other hand, he reached under your shirt and moved his hand to your shirt, pinching and twisted your nipples with his fingers.
All of this overstimulated you enormously, you couldn't stop yourself from dropping a thick, white and sticky white liquid on Kaiser's hand and squirting your semen on the boy's pajamas. Kaiser glanced at you with cums on his palms and spoke “did I even allow to cum?” He demanded as he lift up his brows as he starred at you, under pressure you nodded no. “Then fucking don’t it if I didn’t say anything.” You sigh as your hair was scattered on the beds, sweat was on your forehead and the heat was increasing between the two of you, you were already tired knowing it wasn't over yet. Kaiser grunted, "Tired already, whore? We've only just started," he lifted your legs and put them over his shoulders. “Before you ask, we don’t need a safe word. You should handle everything I want to give you.” You frowned at him. “That’s the stupidest I’ve ever heard from you, we do fucking need a safe word.” You argued back but he couldn’t give a single shit about your words, he was the one ordering here.
He pulled down his pants and his underwear slightly, the gap was big enough to let his cock free from his clothes. His cock had boner, and seemed massively rigid in your eyes. It was abnormally long and large, did he got bigger you wondered in your head. “Spread your leg wider.” He ordered, which you did until you realized. “Hey! No prep or anything at all like my ass is dry?” You inquired about if he was going to prepare you, he looked he was going straightforward to your butthole without any spit or lubrifiant. “I don’t think you fucking need prep by the way you were acting, i don’t care if you’re not prepared you’ll handle it and love it anyway you bitch.” He grabbed his cock and pushed his tips toward your entrance, then he slowly put it in puckered hole. When he fully entered, he made a low rough noise at how tight was your hole, he bent closer to your face with your legs still on his shoulders, he was slightly impressed at how flexible you were.
“Fuckkk, you’re fuckin’ tight as hell..”Kaiser moaned at the savoring the exquisite sensation of your dry walls clenching around him. you tried you best to adjust to its size, but the male started to began to move, rolling his hips against yours, you felt like he was ripping your hole with his cock inside of you. The rapidity of his thrust slowly boosted ; all the things you could do is whine at how bad it was hurting although you were also pleased by his thrust. As the adult gripped with his hands your hips, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, as he tried to find your prostate located in your butthole.
Once he find it, he took time to abuse it as he please, you made one of the lewd sounds you could ever made as you cried out to go slower as tears flowed down your face at the ecstasy he made you feeling. Your back arched as your nail clawed at Kaiser’s neck leaving red scratches on it. You felt you eye-lids grew heavier, you couldn’t think at what you were doing but the only thing you knew is that you came on your sweatshirt and it also squirted on your face as you fell into unconsciousness in your bed. Kaiser remarks that you were not awake anymore, he did few more thrust before letting his semen escape his urethral opening, his cum filled your walls as he took off his cock out of it. Seeing you with his sperm dripping from your was kinda of you, sometimes he wished you were a girl just breed you til you were pregnant.
He sighed and captured your hands to take it off his neck, his rubbed his neck as he touched one of the scratches you made and glanced at it, a crimson liquid was on his fingertip, blood. Now he has to disinfect his neck, and he has also have to take care of your case too.
#male reader#x male reader#anime x male reader#bottom male reader#uke male reader#bllk x male reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock x male reader#michael kaiser#michael kaiser x reader#kaiser x reader#top character#sub male reader#dom male character#amab#amab reader#bllk smut#bllk x reader#bllk x you
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"What's wrong?" Robin asks, bumping her arm against his as she joins him leaning against the counter, staring out the front door of Family Video.
Steve doesn't bother to lie. Robin would know, she always does. "I'm not sure wrong is the right word, but it's, it's something."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Yeah," he says, taking a quick glance around. It's just after 11pm on Saturday. They've got another hour of work before they can officially close, but Hawkins closes down at 9. The store is empty currently, and since they're facing the door, they'll know if someone comes in. "I just don't know- I don't-"
"Gather your words. Speak when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere," Robin says, and it speaks volumes that she didn't call him dingus. Steve's never upset by the nickname, not really, but sometimes, when the conversation is heavy, he can't deal with nicknames. Especially not ones that are meant teasingly now but started as an insult.
"I feel- I feel ungrateful and, like, selfish, because I'm... I'm not happy with Eddie," Steve says, then immediately frowns because that's not right. It's not wrong, either, but it's. "I'm not unhappy with Eddie. I love him. I love him so much, Robin."
"I know you do. It's disgusting."
"And I got into this relationship knowing what Eddie's like. I love him 'cause of those things, not in spite of-"
"You don't have to convince me you love him."
"Right. Right. It's just. It's like, I thought, I don't know, that I wouldn't have to always be the guy?" Steve says, and it's followed by such a long pause that he looks over. It startles a laugh out of him at how much Robin looks like him right now. Confused, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open. That's his perplexed expression, and it's mirrored on Robin's face now.
Well. Not now because he laughed so she's glaring at him.
"Sorry. It was like looking into a mirror for a moment there."
She wrinkles her nose at him and says, "What do you mean 'always be the guy'?"
He lets out a sigh. "I just mean- Eddie's the first guy I've ever dated. And there was, like, unwritten rules when dating girls. Don't give me that face, I already know the rant about straights and their het-ro-norman-whatever-"
"Heteronormativity."
"Yes, that. I know it's bad, working on unlearning it, etcetera, etcetera. Can I just get through this using the words I do have?"
"Yes. Sorry."
He waves off her apology and continues, "So, the unwritten but absolute rules of straight dating. The guy asks. The guy plans the date. He pays, if it's something that requires money. He gets the door, offers his jacket if it's cold, gives the flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day and- sorry. The guy does all that. I do all that. And I just. I want to not, not have to?"
Robin's eyes soften and she gives a sad smile. "Eddie doesn't do those things?"
Steve frowns. "Not- he's done some of those things but it's not... It's never been romantic. Never felt... intentionally romantic. Which is why I feel so ungrateful and selfish. 'Cause Eddie's not a romantic. Not like I am. And I shouldn't expect him to be!"
She frowns. "But you don't expect him to be."
"I mean, yeah. I don't. Which just makes this worse, right? Because Eddie tries. In his own way. And I'm still..."
"What does Eddie do to try?"
"He loans me jackets when I'm cold. And it's- it's like a throwback to the upside down. He'll fold it all nice and then throw it at me full force. Like with the battle vest," Steve smiles at the memory, despite his sour mood.
"That doesn't sound very romantic. That sounds like an inside joke. He could do that same thing while not dating you and it wouldn't be weird."
"Can't an inside joke be romantic?"
Robin nods as she turns, back to the counter so she can hop up on it. "Can be. And I guess if you find get pelted in the face by jackets romantic, that's your kink."
"Why do I talk to you?" Steve groans, and Robin shrugs. "Anyway, I guess I just... I want to be the one taken care of, sometimes, but not just when- God, I'm so selfish, aren't I?" He paces away from the counter, running a hand through his hair.
Eddie's a good boyfriend. He listens when Steve rambles about sports and stats, asking questions and actually engages in conversation. He takes care of Steve when a migraine leaves him all but useless; gets him his meds and water and combs his fingers through Steve's hair softly until it lulls Steve to sleep. Eddie pays attention enough to know the little things about Steve that he doesn't say out loud.
"Not just when?" Robin prompts, and Steve realizes he quit talking.
"Not just when I'm hurt. I want doors held for me, and for him to plan a romantic night, either out or in! And I- I want him to give me his jacket by wrapping it around my shoulders like I do for him."
"I'm going to say something, and you aren't allowed to be upset by it."
Steve nods.
"You have to tell him. Eddie's not gonna know you want these things unless you say so."
He nods again, because he knows that. He does. It's just... "I got with him knowing he wasn't a romantic person. I don't want- I don't know how to say it without making it sound like I want him to change. Or make him feel like he's not enough, or that he's a bad boyfriend for not having done this and-"
"Steve! Jesus, now who's the mirror? It's Eddie. He loves you. He'll listen. Even as you fumble your way through an explanation. A conversation is not the make or break of this relationship."
Steve swallows even though it feels like there's stones piling up in his stomach. A single conversation broke his last relationship, but Eddie's not Nancy.
"Yeah. You're right. I think I'm just... I'm afraid of making Eddie feel that same way Nancy made me feel, when she called us bullshit. I was blinded-sided by it all and I don't, I can't do that to Eddie."
"You won't. 'Cause this situation is different. You love Eddie, and Eddie loves you, and that's real and true. I think it would hurt Eddie more to think there's this whole other category of shit he could be doing for you, but isn't, 'cause he doesn't even know you'd like it, much less want it."
Steve nods as she speaks. It's all true, and he feels less like there are stones in his stomach. "Thanks, Bobbin. I don't- I might give it a few days before I talk to Eddie about it, but I will."
"You better, dingus," she hopes off the counter and looks at the clock, groaning when she sees it's still not midnight. "Think Keith will kill us if we close early?"
"No way. He'd have to cover all our shifts until he can hire replacements. We're too valuable to him to die."
-
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems
#steddie#my fic#dialogue heavy#steve wants to be woo'd#steve harrington#robin buckley#platonic soulmates
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Hii! I love your work SO MUCH but i'm not really sure if you're taking requests. Yet i'm here asking if you'd be comfortable to write a marauders or wolf star or any of the ships with reader who has epilepsy? and how they comfort reader after a seizure? i've always wondered what they'd do after my episodes. Feel free to delete this one if jts not your thing and have a great week ahead!!!
thanks for your request, sweetheart! do forgive me if there are any inaccuracies in my depiction of epilepsy as I'm not super well-versed in the subject other than what to do in a first-aid setting! google don't fail me now 😩
poly!maraudres x gn!reader who has epilepsy
CW: depiction of a seizure, anxiety, loss of consciousness, hurt/comfort, Sirius' cooking
You could hear voices murmuring around you - perhaps stationed somewhere above you - though you weren’t currently confident in your spatial awareness. You couldn’t make out what the voices were saying, but you could tell that they were nice; that the voices were lovely.
Or perhaps there wasn’t any voices at all, perhaps it was just a presence; perhaps it was just a lovely presence. Either way, you were sure you felt grateful for it.
“Easy dove, there you are.” You heard whispered as a breath was forcefully exhaled from your lungs. “There you are, you’re alright sweetheart. You can stop the timer, Pads.”
You hadn’t realised you had started crying until someone was shushing you and wiping tears away from your cheeks.
“Remus’ll be right back, angel; he just went to get you some water.” A voice explained from above you; James, it was James’ voice.
It was James’ voice and you were on the floor; how had you ended up on the floor?
You were having dinner; Sirius had made dinner for you all - roast chicken and potatoes. It was supposed to be roast chicken, potatoes, and broccolini, but he had burnt the broccolini.
It had been a lovely meal until it wasn’t; it had been a lovely meal until your mouth started to taste like metal.
“You feeling alright, sweets?” Sirius had asked when you abruptly stopped talking and set your fork down beside your plate.
You were upset - and perhaps a little scared, though this certainly wasn’t anything new - and you hadn’t been ready to admit what you thought was about to happen; not right then, not aloud.
You simply shook your head no.
“Is it Pads’ cooking? Because we can order take away.” James had offered in jest, only cluing in that something was wrong when Remus gently nudged James’ elbow with his knuckles.
“Seizure?” Remus asked simply.
You squeezed your eyes shut - in embarrassment or fear, you weren’t entirely sure - and nodded your head yes.
It was like a switch was flipped and they all fell into business mode.
“I’ll go move the coffee table.” Sirius proclaimed as he hurried from the table towards the living room and James was at your side to help you up.
“I’m sorry.” You gritted out miserably, earning you a sad sigh from James who was all but carrying you into the next room.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. We’ve got you.”
And you could only trust that this was true as your consciousness began to fade just as your body was lowered onto the carpeted floor.
It had been a seizure, you had a seizure.
“Hey dovey.” You heard above you; a slight breeze prickling your skin alerting you to the fact that Remus had just returned.
A spike of worry surged through your core as you let out a few quick breaths. “Rem.” You sobbed.
The sound of something being set down on the coffee table, James shifting away from you to make room for Remus, and two strong hands cupping each side of your face.
“I’m right here, love. Can you open your eyes for me?” He murmured softly, rubbing at your cheekbones with his thumbs.
A few quick puffs of hair left your lips again, but you were distracted from your panic as you felt gentle fingers press into your calves.
“You’re alright, we’ve got you. Open your eyes, dovey.”
You tried to take in a deep breath as you relented; opening your eyes to have your vision swimming with the sad smile of Remus. “There you are; you’re alright.” He promised you.
“Anything sore?” Sirius asked uncharacteristically quietly for your arguably most boisterous boyfriend as he continued tracing soothing circles on your Achilles tendon.
“I don- I don’t think so.” You whispered through a hiccup.
You heard James whimper in sympathy as his hand appeared on Sirius’ shoulder.
“D’you think you can manage a shower or bath?” Remus asked then, encouraging your eyes back to his as he seemed to survey your face.
You considered the welcoming warmth of a bath or shower, but your stomach seemed to roll at the thought of doing anything other than laying down for the next foreseeable future.
Your face seemed to give away your decision as Remus sighed and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Cuddles it is then, hm?”
James was suddenly behind you pressing an upside down kiss to your forehead before he was encouraging your shoulders upwards into a seated position.
“Water,” Remus started as he placed the glass into your hand. “And paracetamol.”
You took the tablet (as a preemptive solution for a potential headache) and drank the glass of water dutifully earning you two more forehead kisses by Remus and James and a squeeze of your foot by Sirius before James was helping you up and ushering you to the bedroom.
Time seemed to move oddly as someone helped you change into a pair of pyjamas and ease you under the covers of the bed.
“Jamie and I will clean up, m’love; you cooked.” Remus murmured quietly to Sirius who seemed painfully uncomfortable as his eyes darted nervously between you and Remus.
“I think it should be you who stays, Rem.”
James sighed as he rested his hand on the juncture of Sirius’ neck and rubbed at the column of his throat with his thumb. “You know Y/N gets anxious after a seizure, Pads; just like Moony is always the first name you call out after a nightmare, yeah?”
“Siri.” You whimpered; your voice sounding particularly pathetic even to your own ears.
The three boys seemed surprised by your voice, clearly under the impression you’d fallen asleep during their quiet deliberation.
“Jamie and I will clean, Sirius. You’re in charge of snuggle duty.” Remus repeated. And while some apprehension was still obvious in his face, he seemed to concede to your grabby hand and Remus’ imploring gaze.
The two boys left the room as Sirius carefully slid in under the covers beside you.
Out of all of your boyfriends, Sirius was often left the most upset by your episodes; when he felt strong emotions (such as fear or worry), he tended to shut down.
“I ruined dinner.” You pouted as Sirius pulled you into his chest.
He let out a teasing scoff with only half the amount of humour he usually carried. “I ruined dinner by offering to cook, sweetness.”
“You guys didn’t even get to finish eating.” You carried on, tears painfully obvious in your voice which made even more tears well up in your eyes simply in embarrassment for crying.
“No, no baby; none of that now, yeah? I was full, Jamie was ready to order pizza, and I’m pretty sure Remus was feeding the chicken to the cat anyway.” He promised, stamping a kiss to your head and pulling you in closer to his side. “You never ruin anything, ever. You make everything better simply by being there, okay?”
“I don’t mean to scare you.” You whispered, feeling painfully vulnerable and simultaneously wholly safe in Sirius’ arms.
“You don’t scare me. You don’t scare me; I am scared because I feel useless. I hate not knowing what to do for you baby.” He whispered back.
You hummed as if in thought for a few as you felt your eyelids growing heavy. “This.”
“Hm?”
“Do this, just this; that’s what you can do for me.” You slurred as you felt the heavy hands of sleep dragging you further into the mattress beneath you.
You could feel Sirius chuckle - both in the form of the air he breathed into the crown of your head and the gentle rumble of his chest - as he pressed another lingering kiss into your hair. “Consider it done, my love.”
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#marauders#marauders x reader#marauders x you#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders angst#poly!marauders blurb#gn!reader#gender neutral reader#drabble#hurt/comfort#james potter x reader#james potter x you#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin drabble#sirius black fic#james potter imagine
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𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫
Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
obx masterlist
summary; your best friend, Rafe, finds out that you're dating someone else and he's not happy about it
warnings; some angst, jealous!Rafe, SMUT, praising and degrading, spanking, oral sex (fem receiving), hickeys, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up you all!)
a/n; english isn't my first language, so you might find some mistakes; I'm open to constructive criticism. Enjoy!
While you were sitting on your bed doing your homework, Rafe suddenly entered your room, looking at you with anger in his ocean blue eyes.
"When were you going to tell me?" he questioned, not even bothering to say hello.
He had showed up unannounced, clearly annoyed at you; but the thing was you had no idea why he was so mad, since you hadn't done anything that could have upset him.
Or so you thought.
"Tell you what, exactly?" you asked.
Your confusion only grew as seconds passed, luckily, Rafe broke the silence and said, "That you're dating someone."
His statement surprised you, you didn't expect him to figure it out that soon; only a week had gone by since you had started seeing the guy. But guess what, Rafe Cameron seemed to have eyes and ears everywhere.
"I don't know, Rafe," you answered him, then added, "I mean, I've barely know him for a few days." You saw his stoic features harden as you talked.
"So what?" he replicated. "You didn't think I would want to know?"
You rolled your eyes at his hypocrisy; he dated a new girl every week and he for sure didn't talk to you about any of them —not that you wanted to know anyways. Why should you tell him then?
"Know what? That I'm fucking someone? I don't recall you telling me such things" you declared as you frowned, starting to get mad at him.
You stood up, taking some steps in his direction, while his eyes widened at your words. He clearly wasn't expecting to hear that.
"You've fucked him?" the blonde snapped; his jaw was visiblely tense.
"Yes, it is wrong now?" you asked him with raised eyebrows at the same time that you crossed your arms.
Your breasts poked out from the neckline of your tank top, drawing Rafe's attention for an instant. Though he looked away quickly, his intense stare made you blush a little and you let go of you arms unconsciously.
"Yeah, it is," he stated, then he added, "you said it yourself, you don't even know him that well."
He was being so unfair to you that your blood started boiling. When he fucked girls at parties, he didn't care about not knowing them; he didn't even ask for their names.
"So what?" you mocked him. "Do you know every girl you've put your dick into?"
He gasped, not knowing how to argue with that; he knew that you had a point, but he wouldn't recognise it.
"It's different," he ended up saying.
"The hell is not," you refuted.
After a few seconds of silence, in which you gave each other a deathly stare, you sighed and decided to speak again, "Sometimes I don't get you, Rafe, I just don't."
Rafe's attitude pissed you off so much; one minute he was all over you, like you were the most precious treasure he had, and the other he was fucking other girl that wasn't you. And it enraged you because you liked him, a lot, even if you didn't want to admit it out loud.
"Bet he doesn't even fuck you properly." His sudden statement made you gasp because he was, in fact, correct.
You couldn't deny the guy sucked at sex, but he was popular and good-looking and just happened to be at that party where Rafe stood you up for some blonde chick; and given that you wanted him to feel as jealous as you felt when he fucked other girls, you couldn't prove him right.
So you held your head high and, then, you lied, "I think he does it quite well actually."
You had to look up at him after he took a step closer, fixating his fiery eyes in yours. Suddenly, you were so close together that you could feel his warm breathing in your skin.
"Bet I could fuck you so much better."
He left you open-mouthed and your heart started hammering in your chest as he spoke. When he finished talking, he licked his lips with a smirk and your eyes betrayed you, looking closely at his mouth.
On a normal basis, you would have been intimidated by him, but that day you were feeling bolder than ever, so you rose up on your toes to reach his ear and whispered, "Then fuckin' prove it."
He shortened the distance between the both of you, grabbing your chin between his fingers and connecting your lips with his; the action took you by surprise and your eyes widened for a moment. In just seconds, the kiss became so hungry and desperate that your breath hitched and your legs started feeling like jelly.
Your hands caressed his cheeks, feeling the stubble on his jaw, while you closed your eyes. As the kiss deepened, you felt his bigs hands grabbing your butt and then Rafe lift you up so that he could place you in top of your bed. You felt your notes getting crushed, so, without breaking the kiss, you fumbled on the mattress for the sheets to toss them to the ground.
After that, you took off his cap, throwing it aside, to tangle your fingers in his messy hair. You pulled his blonde locks to push him away in order to start undressing; your eyes didn't leave his as you grabbed the hem of your t-shirt and removed it. His eyes dropped from your eyes to your exposed breasts and his breathing became heavier.
He stood still for a few seconds, just staring at your body, before saying, "You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
He leaned over you to take one of your nipples between his lips, sucking at it like a man starved. You moaned at his action as your hands sneaked under his polo shirt to touch his soft skin; when he let go of your nipple with a loud pop, you decided to take it off.
As you put his shirt aside, he started to kiss and lick your neck, marking it. You were sure he'd leave love bites all over it and the thought of everyone seeing his marks on your body only made you wetter.
You had waited so long for that moment that it felt unreal.
"I want that fuckin' asshole to know who you really belong to, baby," he stated, gently bitting your collarbone.
His hand wandered over your left thigh, caressing your naked skin, until it reached your shorts. He looked at your face, asking for permission to undress you completely; you nodded to make him know that it was okay. Rafe smirked and, then, took off your shorts and underwear.
He didn't waste any time after that; he just buried his face between your legs. His action took you by surprise and you gasped for air while you grabbed at your bedsheets, moaning loudly when he sucked hungrily at your clit. Your back arched because of the pleasure his talented tongue was giving you, licking every sensitive part of your pussy from your entrance to your bundle of nerves.
Seconds later, you felt how Rafe placed his tongue right onto your clit again, licking it up and down at a tortuous pace. Your legs started shaking and you grabbed his hair to bring his head closer to you; he was almost suffocating in your pussy, but he couldn't think of a better way of dying. You felt a little bit ashamed when you started cumming after just a few minutes of stimulation, however, Rafe encouraged you to do so.
"That's it, baby, cum in my face like the little slut you are," he said, rubbing your clit with his thumb to help you ride your orgasm.
"Oh my god! Rafe!" you moaned, desperately grinding your pussy against his mouth.
The pleasure clouded all of your senses for what seemed minutes and when the feeling went away, you looked down to find his blue eyes staring at you, mesmerised.
"I love you," he admitted, climbing over you to kiss your lips hungrily but you couldn't return the kiss.
"What?" you asked, totally surprised by his confession.
"I love you, baby, do you love me?" he answered, caressing your cheek while he placed himself between your legs.
It took you a few seconds to react, but you finally said, "I love you, Rafe."
He smiled at you, giving you a short kiss before unbuttoning his short dress pants under your attentive gaze. You tried to help him undress but he didn't allow it, grabbing your hips to turn you around and place you over your stomach. After that, Rafe couldn't resist the urge to spank you and his action made you moan.
"Stay still, baby," he ordered while he finished undressing.
"Again," you demanded, ignoring his request.
You heard his laughter.
"So my little slut likes to be spanked... Interesting," he pointed out, positioning behind you and lifting your hips from the mattress.
Then, he slapped you again, harder that time, and you moaned, feeling your pussy getting wetter —if that was possible. You looked back, finding him in all his naked glory and your cheeks turned red at the sight.
He was gorgeous, every part of him.
"Please, Rafe," you begged, shaking your butt in need of some sort of friction.
"Fuck, baby, you have the prettiest cunt," he told you, rubbing the thick head of his cock over your clit and you squirmed in response, "I'm going to fucking destroy you, sweetheart."
He penetranted you in one single thrust, taking your breath away because of the sudden intrusion. He was big and it took you a few minutes to adjust to his size, but he didn't push your limits, thrusting into you slowly and carefully at first, which made it more pleasant for you.
When he felt that you were ready to take more, he started pounding into you faster; his dick filled you perfectly, it was like he was made to fuck you, and in no time you were a moaning mess under him. With each thrust, his pelvis hit your ass cheeks, pushing you hard against the mattress.
"I wish you could see yourself, baby," he panted, slapping your thigh while he screwed you hard, "You look like a fucking goddess."
The bedroom was too hot; his skin was covered in sweat and it felt sticky against yours. He leaned over you, reaching for your neck to cover it with wet kisses. At the same time, his right hand trailed toward your pussy, pressing and rubbing your clit with two fingers. You held onto his arm, digging your fingernails into his skin unintentionally due to the pleasure.
You bit your lower lip so hard that your drew blood. He noticed it, so he grabbed your jaw with his free hand to bring your mouth closer to his and licked your lip clean.
"I'm so close, Rafe," you announced, whimpering on his lips.
"I know, baby, I can feel your pretty pussy tightening around my cock," he moaned next to your ear, giving you goosebumps.
Hearing Rafe's moans was your new favourite thing in the world.
"My little slut is gonna cum all over my cock?" He asked, caressing your back until he reached your ass, spanking you again.
"Rafe, yes! I'm cumming!" you almost screamed in pleasure, trembling in his strong arms.
Your muscles became so thigh that your orgasm triggered his own.
"Fuck, baby, I'm cumming too," he warned, trying to pull out because he wasn't wearing a condom, but you stopped him from doing so.
You didn't want your orgasm ruined.
"Inside, please," you begged.
Rafe pounded into you one last time before he came with a loud moan, filling you with his cum. He kept thrusting into you for a few seconds to ride his climax and then he collapsed over you on the mattress. It took him a moment to move to the side to cuddle with you; both of you were gasping for breath.
"Who fucks you better then?"
You couldn't help but smile and answered, "You do, Rafe."
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe x oc#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe smut#obx#obx smut#obx fanfiction#obx fic#outer banks x reader#outer banks#outer banks smut
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❤︎She's Jealous❤︎
pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader
summary: Ellie gets jealous when she sees you kissing another girl
warnings: MDNI! cursing, drugs/alcohol, fingering, bathroom sex, public sex??
a/n: This is my first fanfic so idk how to feel about thisss. Also, I feel like this story isn't very original but I keep replaying this situation in my head, helpp. I'm open to recommendations! I will probably only write ellie x reader fics for now but let me know what you want and I'll write it! I get writer's block and need inspo!! Anyway... I hope you enjoy:)
♡︎.You and Ellie have been broken up for about a month now.
Parties have never really been your thing but your friend Dina has been begging you to go to one with her.
"It's been almost a month. You can't keep isolating yourself in your dorm like this."
You lay on your bed while Dina tries to convince you to go out tonight. She's right though. Things haven't been the same since you and Ellie broke up.
"Listen. Come to the party tonight. I hate that this breakup is holding you back. who knows. maybe you'll meet someone!"
Dina leaves and you make up your mind.
You change into a pleated mini skirt and throw on some baby tee you haven't worn since your relationship. Ellie liked it when you wore skirts and you knew that. Some part of you was hoping she would be there so she could see you. You apply a thin wing of eyeliner and put on your docs.
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Later that night you walk into the party. The house smells of weed and music covers the sound of people talking. You see Dina and Jesse from across the room. They're drinking and dancing with a few other of your friends. You hesitantly walk over to join them.
"Y/N!! thank god you're here!" Dina hugs you with one arm and a drink in the other.
"Damn, this is the first time I've seen you out since... you know" Jesse laughed as he took a sip from a red solo cup.
You sat on the couch and drank as you watched your friends enjoy the night. You hated yourself that you couldn't get up and have fun. The air felt hot and there was nothing left in your cup. As you get up to get another drink you feel eyes on you.
There she was. Ellie stood there with a drink in her hand. Your heart sank. This was the first time you've been in the same room as her since the heat of the breakup. Her eyes were on you as you slowly walked past her to get a drink. You look at the ground as you pass her, doing everything you can to avoid eye contact. When you look up to get another cup, you see Ellie standing in front of you. As she opens her mouth she say something to you, you feel hands on your waist.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing at a party alone?" The girl looks you up and down with a soft smile on her face.
From the corner of your eye, you see Ellie take a sip from her drink and walk away. You feel yourself sadden as Ellie leaves your presence. Fingers run down your waist. You look behind you and the girl is still there. It's been a long time since someone has hit on you. Honestly, the last time you romantically got attention from someone was with Ellie.
"You alright? What's upsetting you baby?" The girl whispers in your ear.
At this point, you'll do anything to get your mind off Ellie. A new relationship isn't what you want but it couldn't hurt. You turn around and face the girl. You've never seen her before but she's honestly really pretty. It wouldn't be hard to distract yourself around someone this attractive.
"m'nothin" The alcohol is hitting you. Usually, you'd feel guilty flirting with anyone other than Ellie, but right now, nothing matters.
She pulls you closer by your waist and passionately places a kiss on your lips. The sudden proximity makes you tense. Her hand travels down your hips while the other grabs your face. Something about this feels wrong but you push the thoughts back.
"I'm sorry, I have to go. I came with my friend and promised I wouldn't leave her" You lied so bad, you almost cringed.
You remove yourself from the girl's grasp and take your drink as you walk away from her. The pain of the breakup is sinking in again. You wander around the party to find Dina but she's off with Jesse. There's no point in being at that party anymore. You down the rest of your drink and walk outside. The air is cold and dry. Snow falls gently as the music from the party echoes.
"What the fuck were you doing? Kissing another girl? Already?" Ellie stares at you with a joint between her lips.
"Ellie." You look at her in shock.
"We've been broken up for barely a month and you're already making moves on other women!?" She laughs under her breath as a cloud of smoke leaves her lips.
"Why do you even care. We're not together" You look at her with sad eyes. The tough act was never your strong suit.
She grabs your face with one hand and tilts your head towards her. You gasp at her touch. Snow falls down on the both of you. Your breath is visible in the cold air and the only thing keeping you warm is the heat of the situation.
"Are you trying to make me jealous, hmm?" She looks at you with lustful eyes.
"No! she kissed me..." Your voice trails off as you feel the touch of Ellie's fingers trace your jaw.
Nothing could've prepared you for this. The last time you two spoke was the breakup. This was a topic that was hard for the both of you. Clearly, the thought of the other stayed lingering in your minds. Her touch felt nice. You could feel yourself practically melting in her hand. The similar scent of weed got stronger as her face got closer.
"It worked." She takes one last hit of her joint before tossing it on the ground.
"What?" You look at her dazed and confused. Your eyes soften as her fingers trail down your neck
"I'm jealous." She admitted as she tightened her grip on your face. "Let's go back inside and show them who you belong to, yeah?" Ellie gives you a dirty grin.
You follow her back into the party. Even with Ellie, you didn't want to be back in there but that didn't matter in the moment. She walks through the crowd of people holding on tightly to your waist. You look over at her face a notice a cocky grin stuck to her lips. You can feel the eyes of the other girl you were with earlier staring at you. Ellie notices the girl staring at you. She grabs your face in front of her and kisses you. You pause as her lips touch yours. You missed this. Fuck. You missed her touch so bad. Leaning in for more, Ellie playfully pushes you away.
"God you're just as needy as I remembered." She pulls you away from the crown and leads you into an empty bathroom.
Ellie pushes you against the door causing it to shut behind you. Her lips passionately press against yours. You let your hands roam her figure. Fingers running underneath her baggy band tee. She grabs your hands and pulls them away.
"You're not getting it that easily" She glares at you as she takes your wrists by one hand and holds them above your head. "I'm going to make sure everyone knows how good I'm fucking you" Her breath is hot against your ear.
Her tongue explores your mouth and her other hand runs up your shirt. You let out a soft moan as her fingers draw circles around your nipple. She lets go of your hands and strips off your shirt. Her kisses move down your neck, leaving marks for everyone to know she you were hers. Her tongue reaches your nipples and she traces small circles around them. Her mouth moves further down your chest. Fingers moving down your waist meeting the hem of your skirt. She stops kissing your body and looks up at you. Her fingers slide up your skirt and meet your damp underwear.
"Fuck- You're so wet and I've bearly touched you" She continues kissing down your waist.
She pulls your underwear down your legs and throws them off. Her fingers finally graze your wet folds. She picks you up by your waist and places you on the counter. The granite is cold against your thighs. She sloppily kisses your lips as she inserts a finger into you. You throw your head back and hum at her touch. She grabs your chin and forces you to look at her.
"Look at me while I fuck you with my fingers." She glares up at you. Her face is desperate to feel you.
Your hands run through her hair as she pulls her finger out. She adds another finger and slams them into you. You hold the counter with one hand and the other pulling at Ellie's half-up half-down updo. You're holding in your moans remembering there's a crowd of people right behind that door. You close your eyes as Ellie curls her fingers inside of you, hitting the right spots.
"Fuck Els- s'good" You quietly whimper trying to hold back.
Tears are forming in your eyes. You can feel the warmth building up in your stomach. Ellie can feel you're close. She stops her motions and pulls her fingers out of your cunt. Your slick coats her fingers, dripping down her arm. She brings her fingers to your mouth. You clean Ellie's fingers with your tongue, whimpering for more action.
"I'm not going to give you anything if you're not going to moan for me. I want to hear you" Her fingers slide out of your mouth and find their way back down to your inner thighs.
"They're gonna hear" You bite your lip as your thighs press together.
"That's the point baby. Tell me how bad you've missed me" She keeps eye contact as she moves her face down to your hips.
She pulls your tighs apart, spreading your folds with her finger. Her tongue rests right above your clit, waiting for you to beg.
"Fuck- I need you Els. I need you to fuck me." You give into her commands wanting to feel her touch.
She finally complies and licks circles around your puffy bud. She thrusts her fingers into you once again while tasting you on her tongue. You squirm under her touch. Pornographic moans leave your lips as she starts to suck your clit. Tears fill your eyes as you look down at Ellie taking you in.
"You taste so good, I've missed your pretty pussy" She smiles against your folds removing her fingers.
The vibrations of her voice cause you to moan as you push her face closer to you. Her tongue slides down your folds and she pushes it into you. At this point, you're a moaning mess. Anyone who walks by that bathroom knows what's happening. Her nose gently rubs against your clit as her tongue fucks you.
"mmm~ i'm gonna fucking cum-" Your hips grind against her face.
She holds your waits pulling you closer. Her tongue slides out and sucks your cunts as her fingers push deep inside you. The heat in your stomach feels like it's going to burst. Only Ellie could have you panting and desperate to cum like this in a bathroom.
"That's it baby, cum for me okay?" She feels how close you are.
Her pace fastens as she gets you to release onto her fingers. Your hips buckle as whimpers and moans fill the room. She continues but slows her pace milking your orgasm. She licks the wetness from your cunt and you pant in her arms.
"I missed you" Your eyes look at her as she moves closer to your face, kissing your lips.
You can taste yourself in her mouth as she sloppy kisses you. She holds your waist and guides you off the counter. You're a mess. Makeup is running down your face and your hair is falling from the ponytail it was in. Eille was still completely dressed as she watches you put your clothes back on. She takes your hand and places a gentle kiss on your neck.
"You're such a slut for me" She grins as she places her hand on the door nob. "I don't want to ever see you tasting another girl's lips, got it" You nod in response.
You realized how hot the room was when Ellie opened the door and you felt the coolness of the party on your skin. She takes you by the waist and leads you back into the party. Ellie wore a cocky smile knowing she was the only person at this party who could get you moaning like that. Eyes were on you when people realized who was in the bathroom.
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams#ellie x fem reader#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#tlou2#smut#wlw#lesbian#sapphic#ellie smut#ellie x you
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𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫! 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨
featuring. gojo satoru x reader
warnings. cursing
note. i thought of this when i saw a"rating celebrities i have met" video on tiktok, i imagined what gojo would be like as a celebrity — hence this fic. enjoy <;33 god i want to make actor! jujutsu kaisen a series so bad.
actor! gojo who first saw you during a fan meeting, and when you asked for a weird pose to do with him, he's immediately attached — like love at first sight?
actor gojo! who slips in his phone number when he was signing his picture that you asked him to sign, hoping that you, his very own fan would actually text him. because, he genuinely wants to get to know you better.
actor! gojo who receives a text from you during the night, and the first text he receives from you was a "is this a prank? if it's not, i'm going to roll on the ground and cry. if it is, i'm sorry you had to see this text." and he decided to play with you by saying it's a joke — but stopped when you actually believed in him.
actor! gojo who finds it funny that you still don't believe that the gojo satoru is texting you, so he decided to video call you to make you believe in him (you ended the call immediately and blocked his number for a bit after, only unblocking him when you got your head straight).
actor! gojo who eventually got to know you better, slipping in the time to video call you or voice call you during breaks in his busy schedule. sending you your cravings out of the blue, or even bouquets of your favorite flowers.
actor! gojo who will use his empty schedule to come and meet you — taking you out to eat or just spend the day in your home, or his apartment. even exhausted, he still wanted everything to work out with you, so he would do anything; even if most of the time, the both of you ended up napping together.
actor! gojo who sends selfies of himself or a short video of himself during his schedule so you could know what he was doing — pointing out the most unnecessary things in the video, like how he saw a cat (then taking a picture or video of the cat to send to you), or even telling you how he finished the shoot in a short amount of time, wanting you to be proud of him.
"hi! i just did a scene, and there was this really cute kitty — look, i named him tuxedo, 'cause his fur looks like a suit. isn't he cute? what do you think if i brought him home with me, i think you'd like him!" he said, panning the camera to the said cat, caressing its fur gently.
actor! gojo who checks his phone every time after a take in his shoot to see if you had replied to him, and when he sees your notification, he gets so motivated to do his shoot. and when you don't, he's pretty upset. he turns into a big baby and asks everyone in the set what it meant if someone replies late, he is so dramatic.
actor! gojo who if asked about his ideal type during interviews, mentions and describes your personality and looks. and everyone won't know that he was talking about you, he sees people talking about how specific his words are and speculates that he was seeing someone.
actor! gojo who trended on social media after that particular interview and the account who first speculated how specific his description is, and now the whole world is saying he has a secret lover or is dating backstreet.
actor! gojo who then receives a text from you asking about if he was seeing someone because of his trending name. and he decided to ask you out for good — telling you that it was you he was describing, and he would be glad if you'd go out with him.
[ you ] : you're trending omg
[ gojo satoru ] : i know :D
[ you ] : but now that i rewatched the video, it does seem like you're describing someone, who is it? 😏
[ gojo satoru ] : idk if you're nonchalant or you're just pretending not to know :/
[ you ] : ???
[ gojo satoru ] : it's you, silly. i'm describing you to the world, so now that i've said that — can i please be your boyfriend?
actor! gojo who immediately drives his way to your house when you said yes to him being your boyfriend; he had been holding back the urge to kiss you, holding you close, so when he's yours — he just has to have you close to him.
actor! gojo who was a little upset when you said you wanted to keep the relationship a secret from the world so his fans wouldn't be mad at him. but he accepted it, as long as you're comfortable.
actor! gojo who makes it clear to people on set, including his make up artist, and even director that he now has a partner; and that he's madly in love. everyone on set listens to him talk about you every single day, gojo is so lovestruck that he can't stop talking about you, telling people on set how great you are and how deeply in love he is with you.
actor! gojo who still slips in random selfies and videos of him during work so you won't overthink, he will tell you what he's about to do and with who even if you didn't ask — he didn't want to keep his partner waiting for him, he's communicative to what he's about to do so you won't worry.
actor! gojo who brings you out on a date to a fine dining restaurant one night and it turned out to be the gravest mistake ever when he finds his name trending the very next day, all for the wrong reasons.
actor! gojo who's first worry is you when he was trending. half of his "fans" were bashing the mysterious person (you) off, saying the most mean things ever, and half of his fans were happy that gojo was on a date with you, telling him how they're really happy that he's out on a date despite his busy schedule.
actor! gojo who makes sure you're alright first, telling you how you should never listen to whatever his "fans" are saying — because they're definitely not right, and they're just jealous. he tells you that he will resolve everything, so you don't have to worry about anything.
actor! gojo who clarifies, by quote retweeting a tweet that was meant to hate on you — clarifying that he's married to you (even if he's not), and that you're his partner. he EMPHASIZES on how he's not hesitating to sue anyone who delivered hate, and he's personally keeping track on the usernames of people who had made a hate towards you (he jots them down and screenshots them).
and most of these account decided to deactivate right after his open clarification. losers.
actor! gojo who then made a proper clarification by saying that he is indeed in a relationship with you and that you're his spouse (not yet), and he told the whole world how he won't hesitate to take legal actions to whoever decided to mess with him, his personal life, or you.
actor! gojo who was happy when most of his real fans supported both him and you, and tell you both how happy they are. he giggles and kicks his feet reading the comments about how you both are definitely going to last, and how you both will be the best couple ever. he screenshots them and make an album just for these comments, showing them to you to reassure you that everything was going to be fine. you were going to be fine. you both were going to be fine.
actor! gojo who was asked about you during interviews and he gets so happy and smiley that he gets to show you off in front of the camera, telling everyone how deep in love he is, and how you treat him like the best person in the world. the video went viral and people were so envious of you.
"oh, my spouse? best. person. ever. i met them during a fan meeting, yes. they were a fan of mine — i could say it was love at first sight, i look at them and i just knew i wanted to marry them."
people then began to believe that they have a chance with their own idols, most of them making this a meme, and they use gojo as one of those tiktok standards videos.
actor! gojo who still sends you selfies and videos after a long time of dating, never breaking the routine. even when he has a schedule out of the country — he still makes time for you, engaging in video calls and voice calls despite the time zones, sends you the sweetest voice mails when he can't do a call and brings you the best souvenirs ever.
actor! gojo who casually assumes that you both are married since the first time you both got caught — he bought you a ring, and just slips it on you, telling you that you're both now married. and you casually accepted, you both had your own moment, made the official marriage certificate without anyone knowing. and the next second, he just announces to the whole set who knew about his "clarification" that he's actually, for real, honestly, married to you. and he tells them his clarification wasn't just a lie to get out of the situation.
actor! gojo who posted your face for the first time in his social media after so long, and he trended again. this time, with you. the fans were so happy, he gets so happy when his fans compliments you — and he happily retweets and reposts every single thing they say about you. he's such a proud husband.
actor! gojo who mentions your name whenever he wins an award, once again telling the whole world how he wouldn't be able to make it until now without you by his side. and how he's so thankful that you're always there even during his toughest times. he has a habit of ending his award speech with a: "y/n l/n, you're the love of my life, i love you. mwah."
a fan of his made a compilation of his ending speech for you, and posted it on twitter, which of course, went viral.
actor! gojo who constantly posts you and writes about you on his social media with the cheesiest captions ever, and people were down for it. telling you how lucky you are to have a husband like him, and gojo always replies back by saying he was the lucky one.
actor! gojo who finds out you read fanfictions about him when you miss him, he pokes fun at you for it — but finds you really cute, then you both make it a routine to read fanfictions of him.
"oh, i would totally do that. how did they even come up with these? they're really good at this," gojo laughs, laying his chin on top of your shoulder as you scrolled your phone.
actor gojo! who gets so happy when you come to visit him on set, and gets so motivated because you were there real time to see him on the act. and spends his break with you, the crew on set gets so disgusted by him and posts about how gojo acts around you on social media — and the fans are finding it hilarious, they ask the crew for more information about gojo and you.
actor! gojo who definitely brings you to red carpet awards, wanting you to be there with him. asking the paparazzi to take many pictures of you so that he could save them, and they do. taking your pictures from different angles, posting them on social media so gojo could save them.
actor! gojo who refuses acts where he has to kiss another actor/ress, he didn't mind holding hands or hugging. but when it comes to locking his lips with another person who is not you — he won't do it. even when you tell him that it was fine since it was his job, gojo still refuses, and directors would go lengths as long as gojo will act for them, cutting out the kiss scenes and settling for something less intimate.
actor! gojo who sometimes get caught by paparazzi when he's on the way to visit you or when he's buying a gift for you. telling the paparazzi they shouldn't upload the pictures until a specific date when he's planning to surprise you, and the paparazzi agrees (sometimes), but when some of them uploaded the pictures right on the same day, he gets so upset that they ruined his surprise for you.
actor! gojo who protects you from shameless paparazzis, not hesitating to tell them off in front of the camera for you. because, let's all be real, most paparazzis could be a pain in the ass, they could be awful, and they could be really persistent.
"hey, back off from them. i'll fucking hurt you if you get closer, understand?" and these paparazzi will taunt him for it, but gojo could care less about them, he only cares about your safety.
"i'll ruin your fucking camera, y'piece of shit. don't you fucking dare touch my spouse, i'm serious." he mutters out, pushing away a man who had undoubtedly came rushing over, trying to get you out of the way so he could picture gojo.
actor! gojo who makes it clear that he won't tolerate people being hurting you at all. and he won't be afraid to take a risk to hurt them back for you.
actor! gojo who will sacrifice his job for you. because on camera and behind camera, all he thinks about is you.
© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#fluff#jjk#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#actor gojo#gojo#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fluff#satoru x reader#satoru gojo#satoru x you
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I LOVE YOU ,, 서창빈
pairings ⸝⸝⸝ boyfriend!changbin x fem!reader wc. 1.5k
genre. smut , angst
𓄷 includes ... oral ( fem receiving ) , unprotected sex , binnie kinda rough
request. changbin, miscommunication/lack of communication on both ends, it’s a newer relationship, reader overhears changbin being rather rude talking about someone and reader assumes it’s about them, which leads to reader being closed off and the angsty part, but they make up bc changbin is determined to fuck some sense into reader
「 authors note 𖹭 」 i hope you like it , miscommunication trope isn't my best suit.
❪ masterlist! ❫
you wer under the impression that you and your boyfriend were doing good; you'd been in a relationship for about 5 months now and sure you had a few insecurities; but changbin always said they didn't bother him and that he'd help you through it. you thought he was perfect, that you were still in the honeymoon phase— you wouldn't be meeting his friends at a party if you didn't plan on being with him for a long time.
so you could imagine the heartbreak you felt when you excused yourself to use the bathroom; only to return to hear your boyfriend talking about you; and not in the good way you'd hope. “they're so annoying, i told them not to come.” he said. “don't say anything when she comes back, she's just gonna get upset?”
you wanted to cry; you wanted to go home, you wanted to hit him over and over again until he felt the same way you did, felt the hurt you did. “yn did you find the bathroom?” chan asked , you nodded sitting down on the couch. “here baby.” the man you swore was your boyfriend handed you a drink , you pushed it away , shaking your head. “i don't want it.”
changbin was confused; this was something you normally drank, why didn't you want it? “i’ll go get you something else then.” you turned away from him, he got up, making his way to chans kitchen. “changbin is that you?” he internally sighed at the voice. “i've been looking for you all night.”
“i told you not to.” he said , the girl smiled. “c'mon binnie , you know you still miss me.” he rolled his eyes. “no i don't, i actually told you not to come.” her hand come up to his bicep. “i know your girlfriend isn't doing it right.” he felt himself getting angry, how dare she talk about you in such a way. “changbin?”
he pushed the girl away from him, turning to you. “baby.” he said. “is this why you didn't want me to come?” you scoffed. “so you fuck around with other girls?” he didn't know what you were saying, he invited you. “yn listen let's not make a scene.” he said. “let's go upstairs and talk?” you weren't having any of it. “take me home.” you turned away from him, walking to the door.
changbin barely had time to say goodbye to his friends, grabbing both your jackets, running after you. “can you slow down and just let me talk?” you turn to him with a huff “open the door.” you said coldly. “now.”
the ride back home consisted of him trying to talk and you telling him to fuck off; looking out the window until you got home, you got out of the car, slamming the door, not even bothering to wait for him as you went up to the apartment. “will you please just listen?”
“if you want to break up then go ahead.” you said flatly. “what, I don't want to break up, why are you saying this?” he said , following you into your bedroom. “oh really so you just tell people im annoying and you let pretty girls feel you up while I'm there for fun?” you began to pack all your things. “i’m leaving.”
he stood there trying to put it all together; until it clicked. “you heard what i said?” you scoffed. “yeah, i did.” you picked up your bag. “i'm leaving.” you walked past him, he grabbed your arm to stop him. “let me go.” he didn't listen, holding you. “no, you're gonna listen,” he said. “i wasn't talking about you.”
“yeah sure.” you scoffed. “i wasn't, i was talking about my ex, the girl who you saw touching me, i was talking about her , not you.” he said. “so you just let her touch you like that?” he shook his head. “i was about to push her away when you came over.” he was gently holding your wrist now. “you told them not to say anything when i came over , i heard you, what were you trying to hide?”
“i didn't want you to know , cause i didn't want you to be upset that she was there.” he grabbed the side of your face. “is that why you were upset?” he caressed your cheek, you nodded. “why? i told you before, there's nothing to get upset about, i love you.” he kissed your lips softly, pulling away, pressing his forehead against yours. “i wanted to hit you.”
he smiled. “you did?” you nodded. “you made me so mad.” he kissed your lips again, this time with much more hunger, you whimpered against his lips, he pressed you against the wall. “how many times to i have to prove my love to you before these insecurities go away baby, i'm here for the long run.” he lifted you against the wall. “do i need to fuck some sense into you for you to understand?” he lifted your shirt up and above your head throwing it, your skin was hot against his. “i guess that's what i have to do.” he smirked.
he walked you over to the bed; gently tossing you on the bed, ridding himself of his pants and shirt, climbing into the bed with you. “let's get you out of this.” he pulled your skirt down, leaving you in your bra and panties. “perfect.”
he wrapped your legs around his waist , kissing down your stomach. “b-binnie.” you moaned as he kissed your sweet spots on your stomach. “i’ve barely touched you and you're moaning my name.” he pulled down your panties. “this pretty pussy, i must be neglecting her so much haven't i?” he kissed your cunt. “made my baby feel insecure?” he licked your cunt. “fuck binnie.”
you yanked at his hair, pushing his head further into your cunt, grinding your hips up. he always ate you out like it was first thing he'd eaten in a while, he loved to get messy, the taste of your sweet pussy dripping on to his tongue, it was adding; he loved you, but he probably loved eating your pussy just a much.
“fuck binnie im gonna cum.” moaned, his hummed against your folds, holding your thighs open as you came, you desperately tried to pull his head away from your sticky folds. “binnie.” he hovered over the body, toying with your clit with his thumb. “you want me inside you pretty?” you nodded. “please binnie, i need it.”
he cursed, cock twitching in his underwear. “you need me baby?” he said, “you weren't acting like that earlier.” he gritted through his teeth. “ignoring me when i was talking to you, you think you deserve my cock baby?” you whimpered. “i-i'm sorry binnie.” tears wielding in your eyes. “you sorry pretty?” lining his fat cock with your entrance. “i can't say no to my pretty baby.”
he pushed his cock inside you. “fuck.” he groaned as you opened up, allowing him to push himself further inside your warm cunt, until he felt his tip bumping against your cervix. “so tight baby.” he pulled out, slamming back in , you moaned out in pleasure. “binnie!”
he lifted your hips up; fucking into you. “i told you over and over.” he cursed, sweat running down his forehead. “i love you and i would do anything for you.” he moaned. “and you don't listen.” he hit that one spot that had you seeing stars. “guess you don't really listen unless my cock is inside you baby do you?”
he fucking into like he had something to prove; he wanted to feel how much he loved you, and what you did to him. “fuck gonna go deeper baby.” he held your legs pushing them up into your chest, basically folding you in half as he stuffed cock into your, hitting a ever deeper angle. “yeah, fuck feel how deep i baby?” he cursed. “stretching your pussy out.”
“fuck binnie.” you screamed. “i'm gonna cum!” he stopped moving. “not until you tell me you love me.” he whispered into your ear. “binnie please.” you whined , your orgasm slowly disappearing. “baby.” he slowly grinded his hips, but it wasn't enough. “just say it baby and you can cum as much as you want on my cock.”
“i-i love you.” you stuttered out, he smiled. “i love you too.” he started his movements up again, he leaned in kissing your lips, red from biting them too much. “cum for me baby.” he felt you clenching around his cock. “binnie fuck!” your orgasm triggering his. “gonna cum baby , where can i cum?” you moaned out. “i-inside.”
he hissed, thrust becoming sloppy as he came inside you, his warm seed covering your insides, you sighed as he pulled out , his cum slipping outside of your hole, making him hard all over again. “think this pretty pussy can give me one more round?”
“you do know that i love you right?” he said after he finished massaging your body, climbing into the bed, hold you close to him. “you don't understand how much i love you.” he kissed the side of your head.
“and i’ll spend everyday proving it to you, even if i have to fuck it into you every single night.”
©LUVYENI
#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#skz hard hours#stray kids hard hours#stray kids hard thoughts#skz hard thoughts#skz smut#skz fanfic#stray kids fics#seo changbin x reader#seo changbin fic#seo changbin scenarios#seo changbin smut#seo changbin hard hours#seo changbin hard thoughts
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