#and it never fails to be the sexiest fucking thing to me

[echoes-lighthouse]

Okay, I think this is officially the last set of genderbend f/os from my own list! This has been such a fun project and I've had genderbends on the brain recently, not sure why. I might do it as a reblog game sometime, but with my specific fandoms listed!

Previously: Cecil and Tate, Jester and Shigaraki, Death/Toshinori /Himiko/Mx. Frizzle

[starkeysprincess]

after lecture punishment

pairing: professor!rafe x reader warnings: sir kink, spanking, fingering, edging, praising, 18+ mdni

word count: 1.6k request: Hiiii! Can you write something with Professor!Rafe? Like where reader can't focus in class because of how sexy he is/ starts failing so he keeps her after class or something like that lol <3333

main m.list ⟡ rafe cameron m.list ⟡ taglist

“Fuck” you muttered to yourself, staring at your test result, the bright red ink that marked the paper with a ‘D-’. 

When you first started the second semester of your junior year, you never thought in a million years that you would score anything lower than a ‘B’. You passed your previous classes with flying colors, but it looks like this class alone would be the one to damage your track record. If you were being honest, it’s not that you didn’t study or try hard enough, it was your lack of attention span. Your attention was focused on something else during lectures, or should you say someone. 

That someone is none other than the man teaching your class, Professor Cameron. You couldn’t help it, you’ve always had a thing for older men and it didn’t help that he was the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. You were so engrossed with him, that you even noticed he wasn’t married, there wasn’t a ring adorning his left ring finger. 

You were disrupted from your thoughts when you heard rustling around you, looking to see your classmates packing their belongings into their bags. You shove your test into your binder, standing up as you gather your items. Your feet carried you towards the door, passing Professor Cameron’s desk before you felt a hand brush against your arm as he called out your name, following with “Could you walk with me to my office? I have a few things to discuss with you”. You watched as your classmates dispersed out of the room before turning your head, looking at him, and nodding.

You walked behind him, following him like a lost puppy as he led the way to his office. His name plaque mounted near his office door, glinting from the lighting, catches your eye. He twists the doorknob, opens the door, and steps aside to let you in, his eyes shamelessly glued to how your hips swayed as you walked in. He follows behind you, shutting the door, and gesturing for you to sit at the chair in front of his desk. 

“I couldn’t help but look at your transcript and noticed you’re an honor student, is that right?”, Professor Cameron leans back against his desk, standing in front of you, crossing his arms over his chest, his biceps bulging against the sleeves of his white button-up. “Uh, yes, sir” you mutter, feeling yourself fidget with your skirt. His eyes fixate on your skirt before he clears his throat, “Your grades for the past few semesters are impressive but coming into this class, I have yet to see the honor student in you”.

“You do understand that your grade in this class is on the verge of failing, correct?” he questions, to which you sheepishly nod, “Is there something going on outside of class affecting your learning?”. You nervously bounce your leg up and down, “No, sir. I’ve just been distracted, that’s all”. Professor Cameron’s face turns into a look of amusement, “Distracted? What’s makin’ a smart girl like you distracted?”.

Your face flushes with embarrassment, “It’s nothing”, you mumble, watching as Professor Cameron rolls his sleeves up, his hands moving behind him, settling on his desk, “Nothin’? If it was nothin’, you wouldn’t be on the verge of failing my class. I’ve been watching you during my lectures, you’re a good girl. You wouldn’t lie, would you?”. 

“N-no”, you lied, stuttering as he observed your face, taking in your reaction, as if he was trying to detect if you were lying. He lets out a ‘tsk’, standing up and pinching your elbow between his fingers, pulling you out of the chair and into his chest. “Thought a smart girl like you would know better about lying” he shakes his head, “I can’t help you with your grade unless you tell me what’s been distracting you. That, or I’ll have to get it out of you, it’s your choice, sweetheart”. 

When you don’t give him an answer, he pushes you against his desk, forcing you to bend over. He grabs your hands, pinning them onto the top of his desk with one hand. His voice is gruff, “Alright, you made your choice, guess I’ll have to get it out of you”. His rough, large hand pushes your skirt up your hips, revealing your thong and your heart is pounding in your chest, anticipating his next move. 

His hand runs along the curve of your ass, kneading at the flesh before he pulls his hand back and delivers a sharp smack. You yelp at the contact, squirming to get your wrists out of his hold, and it only makes him bring his hand down again, the sound echoing in his office. His signet ring catches against your skin with each smack he’s given. “Remember, you made your choice. You could be a good girl and tell me what’s been distracting that pretty little head of yours and I’ll stop…or, you don’t and I’ll have to keep punishing you” he warns, reminding you with another smack to your reddening ass. 

He releases his grip on your wrists, “Keep them on the desk” his voice was stern, giving you no room for argument. Rafe’s hands cup the globe of your ass, spreading your cheeks apart, “Then again…I think you’re enjoying this” he chuckles to himself, his eyes locked on your arousal staining a wet patch onto your thong. He hooks his finger into your thong, tugging it to the side, your glistening cunt on display for him.

A gasp can be heard from you the second you feel his spit running along your folds before he spreads it across your lips, his signet ring-clad finger prodding at your hole. “As long as you tell me, I’m more than willing to help you with anything you need”, his words indicating he wasn’t talking about your grades.

His thick digit pushes into you, your warm, wet walls sucking him in and he can’t help but groan at how tight you feel around his finger. “So fuckin’ tight, gonna have to stretch you out” his words ringing in your ears as he adds another finger, slowly pumping them in and out. You scoot yourself back, trying to stand up but he’s quick to press his palm on your lower back, holding you there as his fingers move faster. You moan at the delicious sensation of the coolness his signet ring creates as it bumps at your clit with each thrust of his fingers.

Your slick coats his fingers, practically soaking them, filling his office with the wet, squelching sounds of his fingers brutally thrusting into you. “Can’t have you gettin’ too loud on me, sweetheart”, his hand reaches around, and clamps down on your mouth, muffling your moans of pleasure when he curls his fingers, hitting at your g-spot. He removes his hand from your mouth, snaking it between your legs to rub at your clit. He can sense you’re close, your inner walls contracting, and gripping his fingers. 

You whine out in frustration when you feel his fingers slowing down. Rafe pushes himself forward until his chest is flush against your back, his weight pressing you further onto his desk, “Wanna know what I think?” his warm breath tickles your ear. “I think your pretty little head is distracted and full of filthy thoughts”, his thumb slowly circled at your clit, “Filthy thoughts of me”. 

You shake your head, not trusting your voice, “No? So you don’t press your thighs together, trying to relieve the throbbing need for me when you see me? You don’t think about being bent over my desk like you are right now?”. He doesn’t miss the way you clench around his fingers at his words, “S’okay to admit it”, he coos, his fingers picking back their speed while his thumb circling on your clit faster. 

“P-Please, sir”, you stutter, your hand moving to hold onto his arm between your legs as you’re on the brink of an orgasm, the same orgasm that he ripped away from you. “Please what?”, he taunts, “Please let me cum”, you plead, tears welling in your eyes. His fingers slowed their movement, edging you once again, “No can do. You’re a smart girl, you know what I want to hear”.

“C’mon, sweetheart, just tell me what’s been distracting you in my class and I’ll let you cum, yeah?” He mutters, already knowing the source of your distraction but wanting to hear you admit it. “Be a good girl and I’ll have you makin’ a mess on my fingers in seconds, I promise” He adds. 

“You’ve been distracting me” You hiccup as you admit what he’s been wanting to know. “Yeah? How?” He taunts, his fingers relentlessly pumping in and out of your cunt with ease, curving his fingers, repeatedly thumping at your g-spot, “Been distracting you so much that little head of yours can’t think of anything except the thought of me bending you over, stuffing you full of my cock?”. 

“Yes” you lazily nod, your head feeling dizzy and your response is good enough for him, “Go on, cream all over my fingers”. Your cunt flutters around his fingers, legs trembling, almost giving out as you come undone all over his fingers. “Good girl, see, that wasn’t so hard” He praises, slowly moving his fingers, helping you come down from your high. He withdraws his fingers from you, pulling them into his mouth, sucking them clean, “Fuck…been wanting to know what that sweet cunt tasted like”

You shakily stand up, smoothing out your skirt to fix your appearance when Rafe pinches your chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your head up to look at him, “From now on, I want you to be under my mentorship, alright?” he mumbles, his thumb brushing at your bottom lip, the corner of his lip twitching upwards at your response, “Yes sir”.

tagging: @oceandriveab @babygorewhore @xxbimbobunnyxx @rafesthroatbaby @annoyingassleo @drudyslut @sturnioloshacker @redhead1180 @shawtycoreee @starkeyisthelastname @hallecarey1 @heartsforvin @eddieslut69 @bimbotrashcan @bunnyrafe @kisses4angel @hyperfixationgirl @emilysuperswag @flvredcas @usergeta @rafeinterlude @rafecameroninterlude @starkeysheart @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @fae-of-prey @amandabbbbb @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @spid6y @chimindity @spacexdrago @honeybunniesoobin @juniebugg @wearemadeofstardust0 @blckbrrybasket @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @chrislapdog @dark1paradise @nemesyaaa @rafescurtainbangz @zyafics @ijustwanttoreadlols

[hyewka]

i once saw a nsfw Reddit or something talking about how the user and his gf tried aphrodisiac chocolate and he fucking passed out from the pleasure and woke up to his gf still using him… i think about it a lot

anon youre responsible for getting me completely off track because this is sooooooooo hot now i literally cant stop thinking about beomgyu who’s under aphrodisiacs fuckkkkk😭😭😭😭😭😭

imagine gyu accidentally eating them just because you misplaced and hadn’t labeled the ziplog, so when you come back from the bathroom to continue your movie marathon, you see your previously very much normal-not horny boyfriend frantically, manically jerking off, letting out sinister moans an whines you’re surprised you hadn’t heard it when you were in the bathroom- it takes you by total surprise because you’re sure five minutes ago he was totally fine… when you hesitantly walk closer to the couch, hes a mess hoodie ruined with his dried load, his jaw slack letting his drool dribble from the ends of his mouth…god he looked like a total slut. you ignore what shoots down between your legs and dryly laugh—he doesn’t even know you’re here. “babe?”

his eyes shoot open, but even then they’re cloudy, so clearly out of it and heavy lidded. dumbly he manages to babble even as he fails to stop jacking off, moaning wantonly. “k-..ng-kiss me—kiss-” imagine he sounds even dumber with his lisp coming out, just talking with his tongue out like a dog 😞

beomgyu’s desperate but never this desperate. somethings not clicking. but does it matter? you’ve already basically drenched your panties seeing him like this-but you don’t even get to process too much before he erupts, twitching cock semen shooting up in the air and some of it lands on your feet. imagine just being shell shocked of the cum on your feet that you dont even notice the man jumping up before practically engulfing you, kissing your neck in hot frenzy and you’re just taken by complete surprise at how strongly he reacts to…everything. imagine that when you reciprocate, pressing your lips against his just as eagerly as he came onto you, hes trembling under you, not even being able to kiss back properly, its like his mind was completely shut off for sex, and thats when it clicks. the chocolate.

you’re on his lap and he’s quite literally frying, hips bucking with no thought or rhythm like a dog in heat, when you look back to the coffee table to see your ziplog completely emptied your eyes widen. “pay attention..hah..p-pay attention to me” he mumbles as he feverishly presses wet kisses all over your skin, how can you turn from him any longer?

lol but imagine he passes out just like that reddit guy bcs of a little grinding and kissing and hes all sweaty and dirty and a complete mess.. will be taking pictures of his fucked out face for sure with his hair sticking out and all over the place & his cheeks flushed that would be the sexiest thing ever

[celestiababie]

A Handful - K.MG

Pairings: Stay at home husband! Mingyu x fem! reader

Genre: fluff, highly suggestive (18+), domestic!au, established relationship!

Warnings: PREGNANT READER, chest fondling (m and f receiving), cursing, Mingyu is a little shit, reader is hormonal and easily annoyed, Mingyu possibly has a breeding kink, reader is shorter than Mingyu, let me know if I need to add anything else!

Word Count: 915 (short but I was on hiatus and this is the first thing I'm writing in MONTHS)

Summary: Your husband is no stranger to being touchy and clingy, but he's been especially annoying ever since you gave him the big news.

A/N: I'M MOTHERFUCKING BACK!!! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing this. For reference, this acts as a small prequel to a small series I have about stay at home husband/dad! Mingyu. You don't have to read the other parts, but I will leave a link to the series masterlist just in case people want to read it. Please leave feedback, I'd really appreciate it, especially since I'm a bit nervous about posting again haha.

Series Masterlist

A pair of warm hands suddenly wrap around your growing stomach, engulfing you as a gigantic presence looms over you. 

The shriek that escapes your lips is embarrassing, but not nearly embarrassing as your hands lose their grasp on the plate you were scrubbing, dropping it in the sink and causing the fine porcelain to shatter. 

"Shit—are you hurt, baby?" Your husband's voice echoes through the not yet completed kitchen, irking you more than it normally would. 

Spinning in his hold, you wipe your damp hands on the sides of your sweatpants before shooting him one of the deadliest (and sexiest) glares he's ever witnessed.

"No, I'm not hurt, but I keep telling you not to sneak up behind me when I'm doing the dishes! I don't even understand how your tall ass is that fucking quiet," you start, your brows furrowed as you hold your glare.

Mingyu opens his mouth to reply but can't get a single word out before you shush him with a single finger to the lips. 

"I'm not finished. And this is the fifth. No, the sixth time a plate has broken since we've moved here." 

"That's not that bad, Y/n," Mingyu defends with a pout accompanying his words.

You cock a brow at the tall man, scoffing at his pathetic defense, your tongue pressed into the side of your cheek.

Six plates is a lot for any man, but it becomes comical when it's only been a month and a half since moving into the new house with your klutz of a husband. 

"You've also spilled drinks. Many times. Dropped multiple glasses. And don't think that I'm stupid and don't know you dropped the bottle of wine Minghao gifted us. I was looking forward to drinking that. That's pretty bad, admit it, Gyu," you list off, enjoying how a deep rosiness reaches the tips of his ears, almost as deep as the wine you'd never be able to appreciate. 

Mingyu slowly turned your frame back around to face the sink once again. His hands roamed across your stomach, which was getting bigger and bigger with every day that passed.

 Like always, Mingyu felt his heart racing in his chest as he caressed your stomach, his body flooding with that overwhelming emotion he could only describe as true unconditional happiness and love for both of his girls. 

Okay, maybe he didn't know the sex of the baby yet, but his gut was telling him he was gonna be a father of a little baby girl, and he was sticking to it for now. His intuition rarely failed him, and if he hadn't stuck to his guns, he would have never got together with you. 

"You wouldn't be able to drink it right now anyway, baby. Let's focus on things I'm good at, hm? The kitchen is almost done, and the living room looks beautiful, if I do say so myself. I'm pretty good at painting, so I'll have the nursing done in no time. I just cooked my beautiful wife a wonderful meal that she was moaning about the entire time," he shamelessly declares, the smugness apparent in his voice. 

You bite back a sassy remark when you feel his hands traverse up your abdomen, gently grabbing your swollen breasts in his large hands to massage them carefully. Your head relaxes against him as you let out a deep sigh, your husband's skillful hands rubbing away the ache and soreness. 

Mingyu studied your blissful expression for what felt like the millionth time. He'd never grow tired of how your eyes would flutter shut, eyelashes resting on the tops of your cheeks as your pretty lips parted, taking deep breaths as you savored the feeling of his hands on your body. 

He tilts his head to bring his lips closer to your ear, "And I'm really good at making mommy feel good, isn't that right, baby?" 

Your eyes roll behind your eyelids as you let out a breathy laugh, amused but not surprised by your husband's antics.

"You're so annoying, Mingyu," you moan, practically purring your husband's name, which only inflates his ego more.

"How convenient for me; you've always looked so damn sexy when annoyed."

A light bulb lights up in your head as you watch your husband's back muscles as he walks over to the kitchen sink to set aside the dishes. 

Let's see how he likes it.

A Cheshire-like smirk paints your lips as you slowly come up behind your half-naked husband to wrap your arms around his waist, your stomach pressing against his tanned skin.

But much to your disappointment, Mingyu didn't give you the reaction you hoped for. 

"Gonna keep me company while I wash up?"

You frown and deeply exhale as you crawl your hands further up his torso. Your nails drag along his skin, which generates a shiver throughout his entire being, goosebumps forming on his skin. 

"No, I'm trying to give you a taste of your own medicine, but you're enjoying this too much," you reply, your fingers inching further with every word.

A low moan rumbles out of Mingyu as your hands feel up his sore chest from working out right before waking you for breakfast. 

Shit, his chest got even bigger. Damn, that home gym he insisted on. 

You watch as Mingyu writhes against you as your fingers trail over his nipples, a shaky breath forced out of his body as he grabs the edge of the sink.

He's so annoying.

[princessbrunette]

can you do jj spitting in the reader’s mouth after making her call him dad

basing this around the episode where jj dressed up as a paramedic because that was one of his sexiest looks n people moved on from that too fast !!!!!!!!!

𐙚🐈‍⬛⋆.˚❆

jj was not the responsible one in the group. jj, was the fun one! the trouble maker, the reckless loose canon, mr ‘stupid things have good outcomes all the time’. he was not responsible, let alone strict.

that was until he met you.

he couldn’t believe half the things that came out of his mouth. like, ‘do your jacket up, now.’ who even says that? he couldn’t stand the thought of you in trouble, couldn’t bear for you to do any of the dumb things that he’d normally do, and he would never ever in his power let anything or anyone pierce through your skin and hurt you. not a chance, you’d have to get through him first.

thinking that this change of his went unnoticed is a laughable offence. he was consistently ridiculed with ‘wow, who are you and what did you do to our best friend?’ — and that he could take, usually laughing it off with a petty tongue in his cheek— wondering the same damn thing. but you, well — you had taken it upon yourself to don him a brand new nickname.

‘dad’

it made him huff, nostrils flaring and nose tip twitching upwards like it physically made him itch everytime it slipped from your mouth. “thanks, dad.” you’d giggle when he’d stop you in your tracks to tie your shoe before you went tumbling over yourself. “sorry dad!” you’d whisper in amusement when he would send you a tight lipped look that meant shut up and listen. “please, dad?” you’d emphasise deviously when he’d deny you the permission to do something reckless.

the worst part is, it made his dick hurt. no not throb, not stiffen— hurt. the sentiment made him wanna fuck into you in a way that strays from his usual pipe game. no cheeky quips with a thumb on your clit having eased his length in inch by inch, no— none of that. he means a headlock, or full nelson or something ridiculous and a deep hard fucking that makes you cry.

you’d been a pain in the ass on this little mission of his that he didn’t want to let you on in the first place. it involved a failed jail break, a stolen ambulance and paramedic uniforms. well, he wore the white all-in-one paramedic suit and the navy cap with the logo on it, and you — you sat pretty in the passenger side wearing a polo top with the hospital logo and a black mini skirt. he said if the two of you get caught, it’s on you and your ‘sex shop costume adjacent’ get up.

in hindsight, it was clear you were feeling him in the uniform from the start, looking at him all unfocused and doe eyed whilst he rambles about the plan on the drive there, sucking on that juicy bottom lip and all.

“dude— are you listening? john b’s livelihood is on the line here. we gotta take action.” he barely glances at you as he steers the ambulance, which only makes you want it more.

“yes, dad.”

it’s dad this, dad that— all the way up until you’re panting in the back of kie’s car— having escaped a police chase with no john b in tow. jj was frustrated, full of adrenaline, and turned the fuck on— which is why your panties were around your ankles as soon as he got you back to your empty home.

infact, the pink lace underwear was still binding your ankles when he had your knees pressed to your chest, his all-in-one uniform pulled down off his body just enough to have his dick out, fucking into you mercilessly with a hand around your neck. you’re totally fucked our already, moaning and squealing uncontrollably— and the cap still resides on jj’s head as he grits his teeth, talking down to you.

“nah, call me what you wanna call me— go ‘head, you know i’ve been waitin’ on it to slip out. who am i, babydoll? fuckin’ tell me.” his voice grits and his cheeks are all pink, still cute despite everything.

“d—ugh!” you can’t get it out, because he’s hammering into the spot now, and you’re nearly there. also, you chickened out. you both knew you were into it, this whole ‘dad’ thing— but there’s pride involved. embarrassment. the self awareness that you’d be a wet dream for a freud-following-psychology-student.

“come on,” he chuckles but it’s angry. “say that shit. loud n’clear baby i’m listening.”

“dad, please! wanna cum, dad!” you cry, and it’s this big burst of emotion, because you’re somewhat humiliated— feeling exposed over your kink that had been thinly veiled as a joke until this very moment. his jaw drops for a second after you say it, like he can’t contain the pleasure flooding out of him— but he gains control again in a second, authority seeping into him. his hand loosens from your neck, instead choosing to thumb at your bottom lip.

“yeah, yeah that’s right. that’s what i thought. so you do know how to be a good girl, got it. now open up.”

you don’t, so he tugs your jaw open with his thumb and leans in, spitting a big wet glob of spit into your mouth, smearing what didn’t go in around your swollen lips and laughing at you. sick, sick man. “you like that shit, huh?” and you really did.

he stops getting so antsy and irritated in the future when you drop the nickname on him in public after that point. now he knows what it really means.

𐙚🐈‍⬛⋆.˚❆

[himbosandhardwear]

The first time Steve saw Eddie being a DM, it was because their session ran over the time Dustin said they'd be done, so Steve had gone inside the school to see what the holdup was. He could hear them yelling in the theater, clearly not finished, but Steve had never actually seen them play so he let his curiosity carry him inside. When he saw Eddie seated at the head of the table, at a literal throne, he snorted. It was so performative, holding court like a fucking king. Who the hell did he think he was?

The second time he got to see Eddie DMing was after Vecna, after his stay in the hospital, after the stress of it all waned and they were able to go back to a semi-normal life. Again, he was only there for the tail end of it, but because they were nearly finished he got to watch Eddie standing tall this time, still performing but captivating in his monologue. Steve stayed and watched the whole thing.

This third time, he knows something has fundamentally changed. He's sitting in the corner, on the sofa in Mike Wheeler's basement, trying not to drool and failing. Eddie is just sitting there, watching the Party argue over defensive strategies, but this time Steve has seen what he'd missed the first time: Eddie isn't performing his authority. He might look relaxed, all loose limbed on his throne, fingers steepled against his lips, eyes slowly tracking the progress, but Steve has now seen how Eddie can quell them with a look. He can control the narrative with one word. Gentle or sharp, he rules the table.

It's the sexiest thing Steve has ever seen. He's breathless with it. He can hardly remember why he thought Eddie sprawled out on that throne at the highschool was ridiculous. The space between Eddie's thighs right now is begging for Steve's shoulders to wedge right in.

He feels crazed with it. Thank god the basement is poorly lit and he's tucked into the dark, because he's pretty sure he looks like a flasher hiding in the bushes.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking but he thinks maybe Eddie would be receptive to Steve hitting on him. He's been thinking about the day a few weeks back, when they'd been fixing up Hop’s cabin and he'd caught Eddie staring at him. It wasn't overt or anything but Steve did have his shirt off and had been wiping sweat off his face with his forearm. Maybe it was nothing. But the more he has to sit and watch Eddie throw his metaphorical weight around, the more blood is leaving his brain and traveling south. So, yeah, he's gonna go for it.

The kids let out a wild cry, jumping and hollering like monkeys, and Steve figures now is his chance. They're all busy celebrating and packing up so no one notices Steve sliding past them toward Eddie's chair. Eddie does, he watches Steve approach until Steve moves behind him.

He bends low, tucks himself right up against Eddie's ear and whispers, “Any chance you'd wanna break into the highschool with me?”

Eddie turns his head enough to whisper back. “Maybe. Why?”

He places a hand on the back of Eddie's chair, the other sinks down until he can get ahold of Eddie's thigh. “Because I've got this fantasy involving you and your old Hellfire throne and I wanna see if we can make it happen.”

He's never been more smooth, he's so proud of himself, but of course Eddie has to ruin it by jumping and bashing his knees into the underside of the table. He stares up at Steve like Steve has told him he's under arrest.

“Are you fucking with me?”

He stares back. “No.”

Eddie looks him over. Steve lets him.

He finds himself being pulled by the wrist and yanked across the room.

“Nobody touch my shit!” Eddie yells as they rush upstairs. “I'll be back for it later.”

They don't make it to the highschool but the back of Eddie's van is a decent second choice.

[happypotato48]

Wandee Goodday EP 1 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

God damn it Viu why no sub. i need that thing for making this kind of post better. help a nong out here, i'm too lazy to transelate and making cringy jokes at the same time.

Here we go! first episode of the horny boxer-doctor Sexy BL. could Yor-Yak's BIG Dick save our cringe fail Doctor Wandee from life of sexual repression? of course its can, BL dicks are magic like that!

Get it? wandee mean good day, horny double meaning message, me likey.

Ace rep woo woo! also how dare you besmirch ตาคิ้วหนา drake's eyebrows like that. those eyebrows are thai national treasure. it's the sexiest human features that ever grace us on thai television. is this why he haven't been cast as a lead in ages cause if that is the case then i'm willing to commit light ar$on at gmmtv hq for eyebr... i mean drake.

Ok that's good. they made being a doctor something relevant in the show. cause book wandee definitely seem like he doesn't care about being a doctor at all.

Cher can you teach me your game, เค้าอยากได้ผัวแบบนี้อ่าาาา.

Oh, Okay i get it, if someone this pretty did this to me i'd probably followed him around like lost puppy for 8 years too.

That's hot. god i really want a man who looks like they could beat me up.

YES! more eyebrowns fanservice. thank you show.

"Oh queer yoda bless us with your elder queer wisdom, us dumb twinks are too dumb and too horny to survived in this harsh society."

Money over dick, my kind of girl, loved her already.

Boy you didn't listen to a word he says, you're such a embarrassment for our people. thank fucking gay god i'm tired of perfect homos in BL already. let them be cringe let them be dumb and let them be failure of a human being, This is the representation i want!

Kao is the best of boy. he didn't even tried to stop his friend from embarrassing himself and even joined in the debasement. this is a friendship that would last a life time.

"whatta man whatta man whatta mighty good man"

Yas boy work it! and by work it i mean you need to work on your seduction face, cause idk wtf is going on here but i never been so turn off by a pretty face like this my entire life.

This is a face of a man who had seens all kind of crazy shits from life time of working night shift in a convenient store. i laughed so hard that he didn't faze at all by the whole situation 🤣

Thank you show for putting this man where he belongs. cause someone else's trash is someone's treasure and Yak is about to pick up the best trashsure he'll ever have.

Is this real do people get cramp when they have sex??? god i really need to sex ed myself. ข่วยไม่ได้นิเค้ายังจิ้นอยู่นี้นา >.>

Fine! i'll watch the eclipse.

This show is indeed Zab. i liked that the show fleshed out a lot of minor characters in the book cause Taemrak and Pakao characterization in the book was non existent. i also liked that they changed yak and dee first impression of each other to be more antagonistic. it like putting on a little spice in their dynamic, and i can't wait for more heat from the show.

[jesswritesthat]

Miya Atsumu: Housemate Test

Fandom: Haikyuu!! — [ Masterlist ]

Summary: ~1k, fluff, humour

• You and your housemate have certain traditions, it all goes out the window when Atsumu wants in on it.

Warnings: A little cursing

>>>>——————————>

It was peaceful cafe date with your flatmate originally, Nana updating you on events you might’ve missed in passing including her dating life.

“So our housemate test was once again successful, thanks for your assistance (Y/n)~”

That’s when Atsumu had joined you, a friend of yours and also now an acquaintance of Nana, and had immediately picked up on the one thing you wished he didn’t overheat when effortlessly sliding into the seat beside you.

“What test?”

“Nothing at all! How was practice? What are you gonna order?” You quickly diverted, hoping he’d at least be distracted for a moment - except when a Miya wanted to know something, they weren’t easily mislead.

“Great! Made some flawless sets, but I wanna know more about this test of yours, can I do one?”

"Uh well… It's rather superstitious and ridiculous, so it is a last resort when deciding on a man." Came your dismissive flyaway, slight laugh in place hoping you wouldn’t have to go into detail.

"Okay now ya gotta explain." Atsumu leaned forward, resting his arms in the table after gentle budging you as encouragement, however it was Nana who gladly elaborated.

"Basically, (Y/n) comes in wearing the sexiest outfit they own - if the date stares for longer than 10 seconds, no more dates."

"Oh? Didn't know ya dressed up."

"Never have a reason to when I'm around you." Was your witty response, making a face at the Setter next to you who was equally as childish when pouting at you.

"Ouch, but it sounds dumb... is there a backstory?"

"It was a pure coincidence, but one time (Y/n) came home wearing a drop dead gorgeous outfit and the guy I was on date with stared at them for more than 10 seconds. We got together and he cheated on me 2 months in. However, the next time it happened, that date only greeted (Y/n) and I was with him for over a year." Nana finished with a wistful sigh, smiling wider when Atsumu took a disbelieving quizzical tone.

"And ya based an entire strategy on these coincidences?"

"Yup~" Your roommate said proudly, practically gleaming with the pure bemusement of it.

“Alright, I ain’t in a position to question it. Anyway, in practice today Omi-Omi…”

Luckily the conversation took a welcomed tangent now Atsumu had his answers and you’d excused yourself to go to the bathroom. Hopefully that’d be the last time that topic would surface in his presence. Except, you’d never been that lucky.

———

[ Nana: Housemate test required!!! Are you free? xx ]

With a defeated sigh, you responded positively since you were already out it made no difference to leave early as you'd had quite enough of this social gathering.

By the time you'd arrived, you heard her giggle through the door mingling with the chime of your keys as you unlocked it. No more than 3 seconds after you'd walked past the entryway a wolf whistle erupted and you froze in your tracks with a boiling rage building in your chest. It was deathly silent, aside from Nana choking on what you assumed was her wine.

"Was that at me or at Nana?"

"All you darlin'."

If you weren't so furious, you probably would've recognised the voice but instead your fury propelled you in full view with a dangerous darkness in your eyes.

"Nana! Epic fucking fail - you deserve—" That exploding volcano suddenly sucked all of its lava back in and hit an ice age. Atsumu lounged in the main area, once cocky and when you came into view properly there were stars in his eyes, completely awestruck.

You'd expected further teasing but the blonde seemed unable to muster anything, now just simply staring with mouth agape and then shaking his head furiously as to hide his blush.

"Uh— I ah— yer housemate— I was—"

"Miya came to visit, I thought you'd want to see him too."

"The housemate test is only for emergencies, he doesn't count. Atsumu is just a hazard." You pointed an accusing finger at the blonde, Nana even more amused than usual as she smoothly intercepted with her classic charm.

"Aha since we're all here, might as well sit down and chat with us before he has to go right?"

It was as normal between yourself and Nana, however you noted the Setter was more awkward than usual. Especially when you focused your attention on him, however you chalked it down to being the odd one out of sorts.

It wasn't until you showed him out and bid him farewell that you heard a dramatic groan from the down the hallway when you stepped away from the door. Then came the debrief from your trusty housemate on why he was actually here.

"It's funny, when you stepped out for a bit at the café, he asked me a favour."

"I assume that favour had something to do with pulling a housemate test whilst he was present?" You raised an expectant brow and crossed your arms, Nana excited to elaborate and even mimicked Atsumus' kansai dialect in her answer.

"Yes, but how he asked - oh he was a stuttering mess, I think he only wanted to tease you at first but he ended up spluttering something like 'I just wanna see (Y/n) in a dress/suit 'cause it'll be cool'."

"You've gotta be joking." It warmed you in a way, and it was hard to fight off the embarrassed smirk.

"I'm not! Why do you think he was so flustered just now? He obviously finds you really attractive, how blind can you be?" Nana loudly laughed, leaving you with food for thought when she went to her bedroom.

Surely not, Atsumu you assumed was too charismatic and teasing to be flustered by appearance. Let alone someone he already knew. This was a man who openly told you if he found someone hot, or liked their style, a man who dealt with gorgeous fans cheering his name at every game. For you to render him defenceless just by putting on an outfit? Absurd.

Still you snapped to your housemate when she re-emerged from her room only briefly, proud and mischievous smile painting her lips.

"He passed the housemate test by the way, I don't think he looked anywhere else for more than 10 seconds the moment you entered the room~"

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

[xfgpng]

𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬

— : [nsfw ] pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, squirting, overstimulation, love confessions

— : wc : 846

a/n : there is a 17 year age difference between reader and eren in this. however, they are both consenting adults.

eren doesn’t do feelings and romance. he’s been married before and that failed so he isn’t interested in dating. he likes sex, who the hell doesn’t? and at the age of 42, he’s very experienced and he likes to get his dick wet.

he had zero intentions of being in any type of serious relationship but he was bored of fucking different women every other night. he only signed up on this website out of curiosity. his older brother had met his current girlfriend on there and he knows jean has a profile too. he’s seen it despite the fucker being in denial about it. eren doesn’t get what’s the big deal about, it’s no different than any of dating app.

don’t they make you pay for premium?

he didn’t find it interesting, at least until he came across your page. you were a pretty little thing, 25 and career orientated. you expressed your desire to have a good time, no strings attached type of relationship. while you were working and had a good job, it wasn’t enough to sustain the lifestyle you really wanted and he admired your honesty.

he did love a women who wasn’t afraid to say what she wanted and god you were so fucking hot, he felt his dick twitch as he scrolled through your pictures. you were so pretty, painfully so and normally eren didn’t care for these things because he could have anyone he wanted but he had to have you. all of you.

it had been exactly 5 months since that day and now he had you all to himself, laid out so prettily on his expensive sheets as he kissed you all over your face. this is the longest eren has ever been with anyone romantically and he knows he doesn’t want to go back to casually fucking other people when you were all he needed.

“can’t” you whine, legs shaking from your first two orgasms but eren was rock hard, cock nestled deep inside your sensitive pussy and the older man showed no signs of being done with you just yet.

“yes you can baby” he grins, “you’re a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

“i am” you nod, gripping his biceps as he slowly thrusts into you. his lower half is wet and sticky and he knows he’ll be making a mess of you again so he wasn’t too concerned about cleaning up right now.

“god, look at you” he groans, reaching down between your legs to rub your sore and puffy clit, picking up his pace as he fucked you into the bed.

“fuck” you cry out, fingers digging into his arms hard enough to leave marks and he loved when you marked him up.

your orgasm takes you by surprise despite having cum twice before this and your legs wrap tightly around him, back arching off the bed as you cum.

it won’t stop and when he looks down, you’re squirting again, all over him and yourself and it’s the sexiest fucking thing he’s ever seen.

he has to hold your body down to help you relax and he would take pity on you but you could handle it, you had your safe word and he would never push you further than you could handle.

“holy shit baby, fuck” his hips come to a stop, his own hot cum filling you up so much that it leaks out the sides of his cock and down into the sheets underneath you.

he knows that if you weren’t on the pill, you’d definitely be pregnant by now with the amount of times he cums inside you. he’s never fucked anyone raw, never really cared to because sex was just sex and nothing more but it felt so good with you.

“i love you” he says, kissing your cheeks and your forehead and your eyes widen.

he freezes above you, realising what he just said. eren does his best to remain nonchalant. it was fine, he just confessed to you, the first woman he can honestly say he can see a future with and he knows it’s more than the sex, more than the fun dates. it’s everything about you and how you make him feel.

these feelings still very new but he wasn’t ashamed, only slightly embarrassed that he was the first to say it.

“i.. love you too” you whisper shyly, coming down from your high. you’re still catching your breath and it’s funny how after the intense sex you’ve just had, this is what makes you shy.

he looks down at you with wide eyes but he calms down when you reach up to pull him into a kiss, wrapping your arms around him.

“yeah?” he asks softly, kissing your again and you nod

“yeah” you say just as softly but it turns into a moan when you feel his cock twitch and throb inside you. you didn’t understand how the fuck he could have so much stamina but you were more surprised at the fact that you could keep up with him.

[onejuicyfruuit]

NSFW Questions about me!

Anything you want to know? Comment which number on this post, and I’ll answer 😈❤️😘

1: Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer?

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or bad, and why? 

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny: 

10: Top or bottom? 

11: We were about to have sex but then ________

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: 

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

21: How big is too big?

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

23: Biggest turn on?

24: Three spots that drive you insane: 

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fucking.

33: What your favorite part of your body?

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

35: Love or Sex?

36: What do you wear to bed?

37: When was the first time you masturbated?

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

40: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

47: Most attractive celebrity?

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? how long have you had it?) 

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

62: Do you watch porn?

63: How small is too small?

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

70: Booty or Boobs?

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina?

78: If you had a penis for a day, what are five things you would do?

[sgiandubh]

Cut the (Ghenea) crap

I have been anticipating since at least last Friday the very recent rumor overdrive about S and Mrs. Mădălina Ghenea, Romanian Horizontal Extraordinaire and I howled like a pack of hyenas in the dull silence of my flat.

Of all the rumors featuring S and divers representatives of the International Fitness Harem, this one stroke me as the most ridiculous ever. Downright scraping the bottom of the barrel, here, to be honest.

Now, as all of you know, I happen to be Romanian and if anything, you should at least grant me the benefit of a flawless knowledge of the terrain, so to speak. And as far as erotically ambitious Romanian chicks go, let's just say I am a sweet summer child, compared to this one.

Mădălina hails from Slatina, a small town in Oltenia, one of the most fascinating parts of the Romanian Southwest (I have a good quarter pint of Oltenian blood myself, so I think I know what the hell I am talking about: quick-witted, ambitious people, with a devastating, sarcastic sense of humor). She comes from virtually nothing: a working-class family of former farmers drawn to the nearest town by the quick and demented industrialization of the country during the Sixties, which is to say, the Lumpenproletariat our German friends can immediately relate to. But when you spend your childhood in the dull and poor anonymity of a non-descript block of flats (matchbox upon matchbox upon matchbox - think of it as a dignified favela of sorts), the only thing you want to do is to get the damn out of there, at all costs. Which, I have to say, she brilliantly and ruthlessly managed to, almost in record time. Granted, she is beautiful (to me, she is very cliché, but for any foreign male she is a Wanton Goddess of Sex, I suppose) and she does have the street smarts to safely get her through any urban jungle of this planet, too.

You can peruse her war credentials here, for a quick overview of the character, if you really, really, really need to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C4%83d%C4%83lina_Diana_Ghenea.

I will just add (and you will have to trust me on this one), a couple of things:

Cynically speaking, she could be a decently plausible beard for S. After all, she did beard for di Caprio (an info I just corroborated over the phone with a friend who is a cinema & TV journalist, back home). Problem is, a woman like this is way over budget. I am afraid The Boy doesn't qualify, bless his heart: too meh for her eclectic, but high-end tastes (local cardboard millionaires, Bulgarian tennis players of the light mafioso type, Philipp Plein, Italian TV beaux and yup, Gerard Butler - but it did not end amicably, enough said). You have to understand that woman saw it all and she won't settle for a pap walk in the pishing drizzle of GLA, or even NY. This one knows perfectly well diamonds are a girl's best friend. And if you doubt me, maybe you won't doubt her, when she declared three days ago for the Daily Fail something along these lines:

[source, LOL: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12681539/EDEN-CONFIDENTIAL-Sexiest-woman-world-Madalina-Ghenea-yearns-real-man-stealing-hearts-Leonardo-DiCaprio-Gerard-Butler-Michael-Fassbender.html]

Read my lips: not going to happen. Not in a million years, not even for the sake of the fucking Narrative. Not even on a desert island. Never. Nuh-oh. No way.

At any rate, if God knows what sick plot twist happens, you'll learn it here first, probably: the Romanian gossip press would put to shame poor Deux Moi, with its needlessly chatty, exuberant, salaciously detailed style.

So I will say again here what I did say in a comment to an Anon who brought it up first @bat-cat-reader's :

TERMINAȚI CU TÂMPENIILE. Which is simply translated as CUT THE CRAP.

Of course.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Not Another Love Song by Julie Soto

4.5/5. Releases 7/17/2024.

Heat Index: 8/10

Vibes: rivals to lovers, celebrity classical musicians (?), "I wanna fuck you so bad it makes me look stupid"

Gwen Jackson is a naturally gifted violinist, having been taught by shop owner Mabel. Graduating from playing for tips on the subway to being offered first chair in the Manhattan Pops orchestra means fulfilling a dream. Not so happy about it is cello player and musical prodigy Xander Thorne--who happens to be a member of a band Gwen was (is) a fan of. But she's a fan no longer, sensing Xander's resentment... and something else. As the two are inevitably drawn to each other's talent--among other things--they have to figure out whether their blossoming relationship is more important than their long term goals.

OOOOH, this one hit. As someone who doesn't know much about classical music (honestly, a big question of mine was: is the fandom around famous classical musicians this intense? Like, I believe that it is, I've just never experienced it) I was sucked in by the passion in the story and the way Julie Soto seamlessly blended Gwen and Xander's obsession with music into their growing fixation on each other. There's a delicious tension in the first half of the book, flitting between anger and irritation and kinship and desire. And once it bubbles over... whew.

I really enjoyed Forget Me Not. Not Another Love Song has made me a fan. I'm ready for whatever Julie Soto writes next, because this is what I want from a contemporary romance: a sense of reality heightened by drama (and angst), high heat, and FURIOUS passion. This is a good time.

Quick Takes:

--Dude. I may not be very knowledgeable about classical music, but I do know that it should be properly utilized as a Sexy Device in romance novels. (And to be real? In fiction, as a general rule.) This book may utilize classical music in the sexiest way possible. Like, often when I read early reviews going "the X scene!!! omg omg!!" I kind of expect to be let down. Not because the scenes are bad, but because they're so hyped.

The cello scene? In this novel? Lives up to the hype. Like, more on that later, but... It's not just about the physical things that happened when Gwen and Xander play. It's also about their focus one each other when they're supposed to be playing, the way she in particular drives him to distraction. I will say--the rivalry stuff lasts longer than the true resentment. It becomes pretty clear, pretty quickly that Gwen doesn't really hate Xander. And that Xander wants to fuck Gwen's brains out.

But uh, I was not upset about that development. I feel like a lot of authors try to pull off "seething sexual tension" and fail. This was an absolute win. I know in my heart that if I saw these two playing in real life, she would be desperately trying to pretend she didn't notice him; and he would be playing his ass off while ROCK. HARD.

--All that aside, I also think that this actually feels like two people in their early to mid twenties falling in love? Like, the finances are probably off, but you kind of have to handwave some capitalist hellscape stuff to set a contemporary romance novel in a big city in this day and age... But the way they act, the mistakes they make, the exuberance they both have for falling in love, the DUMB HORNY moments... it all read right to me.

I also appreciate that Xander, for all that he is a hot and talented dude by whom Gwen is intimidated at first (until she isn't) and with whom she is infatuated, still strikes me as a dude. Like, he's gifted and he's deep and he has mommy issues like crazy and manipulative entities in his life. But a lot of how he reacts to things--it may not be rational, but it is human, especially for someone who's really still figuring his life out. He's a mess! And that's okay! Sometimes he and Gwen don't make the right decisions in their relationship, but that doesn't mean the relationship is broken beyond repair.

--There's some really juicy familial and professional drama beyond the romance, and one thing I loved is that there isn't a clear "good side" or "bad side". Some people have their shitty moments because to be human is to be intermittently shitty, but not inherently, wholly bad; some people just choose to be shitty all the time, and they aren't on designated sides. There isn't a single perfect option when the choices are presented to our leads.

There's a lot of gray, basically. And I like living in the gray of a book.

--Julie Soto is setting up her own universe, and I'm seeing the places these characters could go. It's not just about setting up future books, though; it's also about creating a community for her leads.

The Sex:

UGH. This book was hot. Like, it's honestly a relief when I read a contemporary romance novel that's this sexy. Yes, there is the cello scene, and much "then I will sit here, consumed with lust until for the rest of the evening". But there is a lot more. I feel like this is one of the hotter tradpub contemporaries I've read in a while. They're all over each other, they're vocal, there is a scene in which things are done while people are on the phone...

I'll definitely be rereading some of those scenes.

In conclusion, Not Another Love Song is fun, swoonworthy, and passionate. It's exactly what you want an author's second novel to be--topping the first, while maintaining all the things you loved about it. I'm so excited to see what Julie does next.

Thanks to Netgalley and Forever for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[sitp-recs]

Masterclass in smut 🔥

Happy Friday everyone! As promised, here’s a multishipper/multi-fandom smutty reclist with my personal wank bank favorite ships doing the nasty and being 100% unapologetic about it. I could maybe split these between 2 categories, evocative and downright problematique filth - y por que no los dos??? Naturally, everything’s (very) Explicit here. Bon Appétit my horniessss

Has the Touch by professorfangirl (Bond/Q, 007, 2k) - the sexiest, most intimate and organic smut I’ve ever read, #writing goals

Bond is good with his hands.

Slip Free of My Grasp by @lqtraintracks (Harry/Sirius, HP, 3.5k) - 1st person pov goals, sinful and redeeming at once. This Sirius holds my heart

I don't want to be bad for him. I want to do bad things and still be, somehow, inexplicably, good.

Sardines by @shiftylinguini (Scorbus + Jeddy, HP, 4k) - a masterpiece with impeccable atmosphere, no one has ever made borderline incest feel so light & playful

It’s bad enough his cock is hard from listening to the impromptu midnight pornography of his brother getting off; Albus is not going to add seeing it to the list of reasons why he lost his mind, and presumably his eyesight, on the eve of his grandmother's seventieth.

Tremolo by Lilsoshie, marose (Tony/Peter, MCU, 4.3k) - stream of consciousness smut with insatiable Tony and exhausted af Peter

“You’re gonna ride me,” Tony decides, easing his fingers free and cherishing the unhappy whine the move inspires. “Up, come on.”

The Lies We Live With by @bixgirl1 (Jeddy, HP, 5k) - peak angsty smut, just the tip has never hurt this much :(

It doesn’t really count… is almost always followed by a lie, James learns, growing up.

Honeyboy by dollylux (Wincest, Supernatural, 6k) - filthy underage semi-public incest, see y’all in hell 🤠

While John's running an errand in the backwoods in Louisiana, Sam finds a way to keep Dean occupied. (Sex kitten!Sammy and trying-so-hard-to-be-good-in-public-and-failing!Dean.)

Ravishing by Miss_Lv (Newt/Percival, Fantastic Beasts, 7.6k) - give me dead dove like this or give me nothing!!!

Theseus holds a dinner party at his home and once Newt plays his part, he escapes, unaware he has an admirer following him.

Toeing the Line by @shiftylinguini (Tedrarry, HP, 8k) - nothing gets me more into Harry/Teddy than watching Harry watch Draco fuck Teddy. Filthy & sweet but really, this is here for the brilliant title plus daddy kink

Draco wasn’t sure why watching his partner fuck Teddy until he screamed was somehow less morally iffy for Harry than just doing it himself, but Draco wasn’t about to judge. Not when he was balls deep, anyway.

Only As Directed by rageprufrock (Hartwin, Kingsman, 12k) - possessive love is knowing how to share :)

“Arthur is a bad man,” Roxy had said. “Fucking tell me about it,” Eggsy had muttered, and gone to put on the tarty trousers Harry had picked out for him like a fucking high-end pimp.

Burned Silk, Buckled Leather by @ruinsplume (Sirius/Draco, HP, 12k) - stunning catharsis smut, liberating and full of kink positivity

When Sirius discovers a down-and-out Draco Malfoy lurking around the edges of a Muggle kink club, he thinks he knows just what Draco needs. He isn't expecting to run into some long-buried needs of his own.

Euphoria by birdsofshore (Scorbus + Dralbus, HP, 22k) - my go-to wank material, dilf Draco can step on my face anytime

A fire is prickling in the pit of my belly. I feel a little like I'm watching this happening to someone else. Al's sitting there, reeking of another man's sweat and come. He looks miserable and anxious... but also well-fucked. I look at his mussed hair, his bitten lips. I've never wanted him more.

From Thy Bounty by feyrelay, natureboy (Tony/Peter, MCU, 32k) - masterclass in both building and resolving sexual tension

Tony’s eyes are always dark, but now there's almost no iris left. He looks hollowed out. There’s something terribly hungry there, despite the feast they've filled themselves on.

Sötnos by Miss_Lv (Newt/Percival, Fantastic Beasts, 37k) - exquisite world building, blows my mind every time

Newt was expelled from Hogwarts but his parents managed to get him into another school, Durmstrang. There, Newt is taken under wing by the kind Professor Graves, who teaches him everything he needs to know about making new friends.

Heart Toward the Highway by Edwardina (Jo Harvelle/John Winchester, Supernatural, 43k) - the only F/M story you’ll ever need to read, I promise

Jo, fresh out of high school, has left home and wound up on the road with John, trying to learn the ropes from someone who isn't exactly sharing and caring. John, distant and impatient, isn't really a partner, friend, or role model -- which means that Jo's gotta get all stupid and hot for him. Their stoic apprenticeship starts to unravel as Jo starts to run out of clothes and John can't ignore her anymore.

Breezeblocks by hellhoundsprey (Supernatural RPF, 59k) - I have no idea how I found this, I don’t even read RPF. if you’re into cuckolding + humiliation: it doesn’t get any better than this

After months of doubts and suspicions, Jake ends up catching his husband red-handed when he comes home early one Friday afternoon. A/B/O

[greatpawtender]

same anon lol. follow up from my previous ask (I started thinking about oz and the original team more):

augh. Thinking about laurent genuinely trying to connect with makoto and failing. Thinking about him watching abbie and cynthia connect with makoto effortlessly, and feeling left out. Thinking about him talking to oz about it, and realising that oz knows nothing about makoto at all. laurent getting angry, because even he knows makoto better, and suddenly feels responsible for him. imagining laurent blaming oz, blaming shi-won because they "made" him this way, even though by now he's responsible for his own actions. I'm imagining shi-won specifically calling him out on this, because she's been there the longest. how even though he suffered, at some point he has to accept that his decisions were his own. and that arguably, makoto was put through far, far worse things than he was.

laurent empathising with makoto more and more and starting to feel kind of angry on his behalf, but realising that by now there's very little he can do... he can resent the remaining members of the original team confidence all he wants, but they've been so good to him. they're old friends but they're also walking wounds. he can blame shi-won for teaching dorothy, for bringing him to dorothy. he can blame oz for giving him makoto to work with. he can blame them, but it's not going to change anything. shi-won at least stuck by his side, so she's easier to forgive. oz is harder to forgive, even if he gave up everything for dorothy, for laurent. laurent is splitting hairs here, because he still blames them less than he blames himself.

I think once laurent has this realisation, he doesn't really know what to do with himself. he still does cons and stuff because he probably feels like anything else would be boring, but I think he now kind of wants to shoot oz (not shi-won, because like I said, her sticking directly by his side all those years makes it easier for him to "forgive" her). he gives himself reasons to hurt oz in these cons because he doesn't know when to quit a bad habit when he's spiralling. oz notices, but he doesn’t say anything. he does whatever laurent asks of him, because he's right. I don't think oz feels bad for laurent, however (I think he just feels bad for makoto at this point, because he's already processed most of his grief and self-loathing regarding miki).

I think oz is the type of person to mask his loneliness. he probably cares about laurent the same way two people in a jail cell care about each other. he does whatever laurent asks of him almost like a peace offering, because he's used to just playing whatever role people ask of him without question. he probably doesn't know who he is anymore, and he probably doesn't care. he'll just follow whatever laurent says because the memories he made with team confidence stick to him like old wallpaper, and he can't bring himself to peel them off. he traded one life for another, and he lost both of them.

unlike them, I imagine shi-won already made peace with her demons long ago. there's a reason she told kudo to just let his daughter go. there's a reason why she didn't get an arc to herself. I don't think she feels bad that they're going through this, but she probably tries to distract them once in a while because the one-sided tension between them is annoying to deal with.

sorry I'm a little skdjsjajfj about them

as it is, it feels to me that oz just goes along with what others want most of the time. he isn't too different from makoto in that regard orz

op how does it feel like to be the sexiest person on earth

god god god I LOVEE your thoughts about laurent theyre so incredibly great I've never seen more correct hcs than yours

laurent and oz bonding over fucking up makotos life augohfj its sad but. But. sigh

laurent empathizing with makoto and somehow relating to him now bc he realizes he kinda been through the same shit as him. but like. makoto dealt with way worse so he cant really say anything so he lashes out at the og team instead orz 😭

oz doing everything laurent asks kf him the same way makoto does too now . im going insanw now.

thanks op sorry i dont have anything to say bht please know that i fucking love all ur thoughts about this thank you so much you have opened my eyes

[jimmerzz0905]

mythical incorrect quotes because why the fuck not

(also there are some mentions of shit like alcohol and stuff under the cut so uhh)

Yawstrich: *tries to make the child laugh*

Anglow: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

G’joob: *gives detailed instructions to the parents*

Cherubble: *cries with the child*

Strombonin: *ignores the child*

Hyehehe: *is the reason why the child is crying*

—

Hyehehe: What's wrong with you?

Strombonin: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

—

Strombonin: Happy Throwback Thursday. Here’s a throwback to when Yawstrich ate an entire fucking tube of lipstick.

Yawstrich, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!

—

Cherubble: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down and then take a nap.

—

G’joob: And now for a gay update with Yawstrich and Strombonin.

Yawstrich: Getting gayer!

G’joob: Thank you, Yawstrich.

—

G’joob, holding in his laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Strombonin: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic Monstrous.

G’joob:

G’joob: Water you doing?

—

Yawstrich: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Strombonin: Please, just say fuck…

—

Cherubble: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

—

Yawstrich: *texting* Hey can you pick me up I’m drunk.

Yawstrich: Oh you don't have to anymore. I'm home now.

Strombonin: Yes, I'm aware of that after dropping you off at home.

—

Hyehehe, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Cherubble: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

—

Strombonin: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.

—

Cherubble: Truth or dare?

Anglow: Truth.

Cherubble: How many hours have you slept this week?

Anglow:

Anglow: Dare.

Cherubble: Go to sleep.

Anglow: I don't like this game.

—

Cherubble: Today at 7 am, Hyehehe poured a Monster Energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Yawstrich: I watched Hyehehe brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he’s ascended into the astral realm.

Strombonin: The survivability of the Monster race never fails to amaze me.

—

Hyehehe: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

—

Yawstrich: Oh, Strombonin! We have a visitor!

Strombonin: Don’t tell me it’s Hyehehe.

Yawstrich: It’s Hyehehe.

—

Anglow: What time is it?

Hyehehe: I don’t know, pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out.

Anglow: *hands Hyehehe the saxophone*

Hyehehe: *fucking BLASTS the saxophone*

G’joob: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING?!

Hyehehe: It’s 2 am

—

G’joob: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!

Cherubble: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!

G’joob: …

G’joob: What?

Cherubble: I need to feed my Neopets!

—

Yawstrich: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.

—

G’joob: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Hyehehe: Mine just says "Hyehehe, no."

G’joob: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

—

Yawstrich: I didn't drink THAT much last night!

G’joob: You were flirting with Strombonin.

Yawstrich: So what? They're my boyfriend.

G’joob: You asked if they were single.

Yawstrich: …

G’joob: And then you cried when they said he wasn’t.

—

Strombonin: Sorry I'm late to the party. I've been… doing things.

Yawstrich, entering dizzy and covered in kisses: I got caught up doing things too.

Hyehehe: Wow, Strombonin was late too! What a coincidence!

—

Yawstrich: You know what I asked Yool for Yay this year?

Strombonin: If you say me, I swear I’ll—

Yawstrich: You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Lego Ninjago set we saw in Target!

—

Strombonin: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Yawstrich: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

G’joob: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Hyehehe: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

—

and that’s it lol

[a-fervent-revision]

4, 30, 75, 72, & 32 please! <3

4. Something that Never Fails to Make you Horny: This is gonna sound like a copout in a way, but someone coming on to me? Like, if you are interested in me and are proactively expressing that. Flirting with me and showing that desire? That's what gets me really horny, without fail.

30. What do you think you and/or the opposite sex looks the sexiest in? For me? A suit. I LOVE suits and pay particular care to making sure they are well fitting and well decorated. For her? God there are so many options. If I'm picking my absolute favorite though, it would be a well fitted dress, stockings, garter, heels, earrings, the works. The femme fatale that could just as likely shoot me as she would be likely to fuck me is my absolute favorite aesthetic.

32. Fill in the blanks: “If they __, we are ****in” Kiss. My. Neck. Slowly. Let me feel your breath as you do and I'm gone. Switch has been flipped and we are fucking. My neck is a dangerous turn on.

75. Do you like kissing in public? Yes! Absolutely. Kissing, hugging, touching. I don't want to just hide everything behind the doors of a home. That's no fun at all.

72. Favourite sexual things a guy/girl does to you thats not sex? Kissing. I LOVE kissing. leave your lips on me. Anywhere. But kissing, and especially with tongue, is like, just. Ugh. Love it. Here for it.