#and it made her feel kinda weak narratively

[pumpkinrootbeer]

Eugene was truly the best boyfriend. saw his girlfriend get broken up with, and immediately had a revenge glow up. Imagine being Cassandra seeing your ex girlfriend's boyfriend and he's wearing a golden choker with the just deepest v neck known to man, the world's sluttiest gloves, and a thigh garter. I'd have to give up then and there.

[bawbawbridgie]

the 'palace' scene

i have been WAITING to talk about this scene and it has finally come to it. this will be my last post in terms of the changes because i believe i have gone through them all (could be wrong).

instead of writing the whole scene (because that would make this post even longer), i decided to include an audio recording from the current broadway version (Joel Meyers & Erik Christopher Peterson 2024) and the original script. i recommend listening to it while reading the original script before reading the rest of this post.

alrighty, time to go into my thoughts. 

essentially, this scene has gone from a cute little moment between two besties having a lighthearted chat about their feelings for girls, to now a very intimate and quite emotionally vulnerable scene between them. 

removal of love interests: 

rose and scorpius’ dynamic is strictly friendship now with him only asking to be friends in which she still says no. that is a self explanatory change which results in no evidence of scorpius having romantic feelings for her. along with this, polly, another female love interest, is completely removed from this conversation. this takes away pretty much EVERY interaction scorpius has with a female interest in a ‘romantic’ way. 

now with albus; thank god no random mention of the older female professor ew. and no albus getting a girlfriend first. coincidently also removing all the lines referring to him having romantic feelings for female characters. without the statement of liking older women, it removes he emphasis on albus romantically having feeling for delphi in which we know was also changed in the scene with ginny and albus. 

now what does this do to the narrative and perception of these characters? when you remove the female love interests in this situation, it leaves a gap in the story. the gap being who do these characters now actually love?? and since this play is pretty much about ‘love can conquer all’, WHO ELSE ARE THEY MEANT TO PUT THESE FEELINGS OF LOVE ON TO OTHER THAN EACH OTHER???? you cannot deny that all these changes made are for the benefit of this relationship and puts a lot more emphasis on them and what they mean to each other. 

slight word changes: 

“marriage” to “allegiance” again relates to the removal of scorpius’ romantic feelings for female characters, completely taking away this whole part of the plot for him. like all he wants is to form a friendship with rose! platonic friends is what they are now. 

again removing “love” and changing it to “harmony” takes away the romantic feelings and just creates a nice friendship. but i do think its sooooo funny that they changed “love” to “harmony” because THAT would’ve been too far for them. as albus wants that palace with scorpius, having “love” would be confirming that they love each other. that can absolutely not happen. but aren’t they just kinda synonyms or am i stupid. also it wouldn’t be that controversial because they already used “love” as albus’ weakness WITH SCORPIUS IN THAT SCENE soooo… the creatives were just too scared to leave it the same. 

we also have the whole ‘in my head’ but we have gone through it in a previous post (https://www.tumblr.com/bawbawbridgie/748173064391557120/since-you-guys-were-begging-me-to-write-about-it?source=share). 

rose’s line is now changed to “if YOU TWO let it be weird”… WHY WOULD IT BE WEIRD???? firstly, he was only asking to be friends. and secondly, why would it be weird for albus? my boy didn’t do anything? it’s almost as if rose is implying something else? perhaps her finding out that something else is going on between them? mhmmm idk. reminder that rose is quite literally on the stage listening to this whole convo.

THAT line: 

i have so many thoughts on this line and what albus is getting at. is this albus’ way of admitting he has feelings for scorpius? is it albus ‘subtly’ trying to understand how his best friend feels about him by pushing the limits of their friendship and see how he’d react? is he asking him out? is he saying he loves him in his own way as he struggles with feelings? orrrr is it simply albus just asking him if rose, his cousin, is actually the one scorpius, his bestie, wants? this line is definitely up to how you all perceive it. for me, i personally feel it’s albus attempting to address delphi outing him because they never really expand on that moment, as well as attempting to push the boundaries of this friendship to see if scorpius wants more than this as well. 

i also find it amusing that albus says this after scorpius expresses he only wants “harmony” and an “eventual alligence” with rose. like scorpius hasn’t actually shown any romantic interest in rose so this means albus doesn’t even want him talking to her. god he’s obsessed with him. 

rose’s input: 

THANK GOD FOR THE REMOVAL OF “SCORPION KING” COZ HOW DID SHE KNOW???? whatever moving on. her cute little line, “you good albus?” eeeeee i love her new role in this scene. she is just looking out for the happiness of her cousin in which i assume she knows about the two of them being more than besties. fr she is also a big scorbus shipper by the end of the play and we love her for that. 

why tf did the creatives do this?:

ughhhhh i do not know. i guess this was the closest they could get without actually confirming they are together?? idk. i do find it amusing to think about the creatives trying to rewrite this scene and how proud they would’ve been when they created this line. kudos to you jack thorne and john tiffany. but in general with the changes, i have so many thoughts and theories about why/when/how they did this which i would love to dive into but it deserves a whole post dedicated to itself.

but i think at the end of this scene/play, this relationship is open ended like there is no definite answer of what they are and can be interpreted however you’d like. and i genuinely really like this, it’s somehow comforting. one question that i still ask myself (which could be quite problematic but here we go) is: are they actually canon? i have so many thoughts about this and could definitely do a seperate post but put simply… sadly no. PLEASE DONT HATE ME I WANT THEM TO BE CANON BUT I CANNOT 100% SAY THEY ARE!!!! and i have my reasons… but that’s a whole different issue.

although we would all like a CLEAR confession/answer (to get us out of our misery), but they are only 14/15 and finding themselves so who knows, maybe at dinner they worked out what they are but i guess we will never know?? ok bye sorry for all that xx

[creature-wizard]

So is realizing you were sexually abused as a child as an adult always false memories? Because I’ve been deciding if I should try to find a therapist about this if I ever get insurance and it’s like: 1: I don’t remember a Big Event, but a bunch of smaller, weirder things (being forced to undress around relatives, being watched shower that kinda thing) that seem to gesture to ‘probably got molested’, 2: I can’t create a Narritive of it, I only have flashes and a vague idea of when it probably started, 3: I had a terrible head injury at age 11 that was left untreated bc my parents refused medical care (long story, not a religious thing) & i don’t actually remember a lot from before age 10, what I do is consistent with those flashes, but 4: when you look at csa warning signs my child self had All Of Them.

I know false memories are a thing, I understand the science there. But I really don’t have the mental fortitude to be called a liar by another mental health professional. Spent a lot of high school begging the school psych to send child services to my mom’s house at least for my siblings sake and got told I should just be a better daughter. My sister’s a therapist & is always joking about how her clients ‘make up rape stories.’

So like: in your research did you ever come across adults realizing they were sexually abused that seemed legit or is it all cults and scams? Because I do think the trauma or whatever is negatively impacting my life and a big chunk of my mental illnesses but also. If I made it up I don’t want to be branded a ‘liar about their lovely father’

I think you’re doing important work, and please don’t feel obligated to answer this.

Oh gosh no, I wouldn't say that it's always false memories. It's always possible to have memories that you can't quite access because the neural pathways to them have become weak, and have something kinda jostle them later. I've experience this kind of thing myself on occasion (the memories didn't involve abuse, btw). It's just that when you go trying to force memory recall (such as through hypnosis), it's very easy to start confabulating, and exposing yourself to conspiratorial content can give your mind stuff that can get mixed in with memories of very real abuse and ultimately muddle what actually happened.

IMO, you shouldn't necessarily need to create a Narrative around these? It should be fine to just write them down and bring them up with a therapist, and tell your therapist what you suspect. It probably wouldn't hurt to bring up your sister's behavior, either. No good therapist is going to accuse you of lying (and your sister really should have her therapy license revoked).

Editing to add/clarify that dissociative amnesia is also a real thing! So like, yeah, it's entirely possible for someone have memories of trauma that their brain can't fully access because they were dissociating.

[butterflydm]

Kinda jumping off a discussion I was having with @markantonys and @sixth-light the other day, I am really feeling excited about potentially bringing in most/all of the rest of our endgame love interests next season because I think they'll pretty much all benefit with the jump from book to screen.

(contains some book spoilers through Knife of Dreams)

I really enjoy a lot of the choices that the show has made so far, and I think they've done a lot of good set-up for the romances as well. To start with the characters who are locked in already, I really loved that Rand's three love interests all got to spend some extended time with (at least) one of his friends in season 2. Elayne being close with Egwene and Nynaeve is book canon, of course, but I like that the show essentially did that with Aviendha & Min too -- Perrin and Aviendha were so funny together, Mat and Min were also funny but had some great depth and angst. We got to see all three of them shine as individual characters before we got into any romance elements.

Especially with Min, I really loved the choice for them to take Min's self-reported past struggles with her ability and make it a current thing for her. It gives Min an active emotional storyline that is about herself and not centered around Rand, which is a big plus for me.

For next season, it's fairly well confirmed that we're getting Faile, and I think the show is set up to do really well with her:

a. the fact that we're not getting Perrin's internal narration will do so much to combat the 'constantly possessive and jealous' vibe that she often has in the books, because she frequently does not act on it but is just feeling something and if Perrin didn't basically have telepathy, no one would know.

b. Perrin's previous marriage provides a good reason for his relationship with Faile to be much more of a slow burn than it was in the books, and also provide background on why he'll be over-protective of her without falling into Jordan's "Women Are Precious Frail Flowers" trap (which Jordan did realize was a flaw in his writing -- we see him trying to interrogate it over the course of the series. But sometimes he would fall into the trap anyway).

c. And Faile and Perrin's relationship being more of a slow-burn would also make Berelain be a less ridiculous character (if they choose to still have her & her pursuit of Perrin). I'm also fond of the (from reddit!) speculation that maybe Berelain will be Graendal in disguise, which would have the potential of working really well to bring Graendal in sooner and give Perrin a proper Forsaken nemesis.

We are likely to get Gawyn, and if he's our main PoV for split in the White Tower, rather than it being Min (who is going to be in the Tanchico storyline with Mat, if that leak from a couple of weeks ago is true), then the audience will be more inclined towards being sympathetic towards him. We're also not likely to have the huge slow-down in pacing that happened in the second half of the book series, so it won't feel like Gawyn is just marching in place for forever. He's definitely one of the characters who suffers the most from how slowly the plot moves in The Slog.

Less likely but still very possible (especially if the leak about Mat is true) is that we may meet Tuon next season, and the show has done so much to make Mat & Tuon more plausible as a romance, even before we get into anything like character development.

Partly in the difference in Mat's background, in his relationship with his parents, and also in the way his dynamics with characters like Liandrin and Ishamael were played out.

Plus the set-up for what the show is doing with damane & sul'dam is promising in terms of Tuon because the show has established that the sul'dam are very weak channelers (as opposed to being learners), which means that Tuon actively beginning to channel wouldn't be plot-breaking in terms of her capabilities and would just affect her on a narrative level, which makes that feel like a much more likely path for them to choose to go with her and which opens up some avenues for some genuine character growth from her, which would be an exciting change from the books.

And, on a more subjective note, I feel like Jordan really fell down on the writing of Mat and Tuon, especially in CoT & KoD, so basically anyone else taking them over is probably going to be an improvement for me.

The show also really established a strong personality for Mat off the bat, which is something that Jordan was pretty inconsistent about. 'Mat' doesn't really gel as an individual character until the third book when he gets a PoV; and then he changes in several ways between the end of Winter's Heart and the start of Crossroads of Twilight (which is only a week later); I think that 'Crossroads' Mat could have been plausible (if depressing) as a character if Jordan had actually worked up to him over the course of CoT & KoD rather than him abruptly becoming this New Slavery-Neutral "both sides are valid" Mat in-between books (in WH he has an actual ethical & visceral objection to slavery, while in CoT & KoD, he only seems to object to the idea of being personally enslaved and views it neutrally if other people are enslaved). But I've talked about all that before, lol, so I will just say that it feels like the show already knows who they want Mat to be and has taken a pretty bold stand on the subject (re: being a Hero of the Horn), so I don't think we'll see them dumping his brains and empathy overboard between seasons.

So, yeah, I know s3 is still filming, but I am already anticipating it so much!

[kuwanxs]

Hellooo there was something abt your post that kinda got me thinking. The mha fandom has always been populated by mostly fem and general queer people, which is probably the reason why these toxic brodudes were SO pissed whenever anything queer looking would happen in the story, and why their reaction to 430 was so bitter and vindictive. They hate when they see the queers feeling like they have been catered to, and they hate having to be creative by themselves.

I watched a video by a yt named Shaun, abt a fake outrage that the same kind of brodudes instigated, but with the difference being that it was abt video games. He said something that seriously makes sense even in the context of mha and various other mangas.

"They don't want to be a part of diversity, they want to be superior to it. They don't want a game with the option to cater to them, they want to be the ones who the game solely caters to".

And to me, that is exactly what 431 is.

Now i'm gonna be honest, my opinion of Hori wasn't the greatest before, and after that it just became really sour. But i recognized his capabilities and his passion. So being as chariable as possible coming from me; i think he just got angry that he had to see people criticizing the previous ending in such a humiliating way. It wouldn't be surprising, since the the fuss they made wasn't just in one place, it was everywhere. Everyone was spreading misinformation to hell and back and even attacking him personally.

He tried his best to counter all of what they were saying, by making everything they wanted a possibility at the very last minute. But, as you know, the things they wanted were absolutely nothing but the bland, underdeveloped het ship becoming canon. And for that, everything had to be dumbed down, forgotten, or forced in a shoddy way. Now all the same ppl who were pissed are praising him for "fixing" his ending.

He'll probably try to do damage control if the backlash of now gets to him, by like, idk making family/romantic illustrations for Iz/och? Which to me personally will just mean that he really is that lazy or weak willed. But maybe he will just show cool illustrations and stay quiet.

I think you are sooooo right about dudebros wanting a piece of media to only be catered to them. Your quotation is also so on point.

The biggest problem with mha is that it’s debut, and the initial few years of its publication, it mainly garnered a very dudebro like fanbase. Even during the first half of 2020 when it blew up, it catered heavily to dudebros with fan service and power scaling. The issue is that eventually as the manga transcended to become something that was much more inclusive, it stopped catering to these guys.

I have always said this but a man’s biggest enemy is women and queer people. So when a fanbase garners a massive female and queer audience, it becomes a job for these guys to shame said consumers who actually heavily heavily contribute to the popularisation of said media. I’m not sure if you have seen the video of that woman on tiktok who went viral for crying over chapter 431 and how aggressive these “normal” guys were towards her. I believe infiltration of fandom spaces mainly happens when the author tries to cater to EVERY side of the audience, the dudebros, women, queer people. And it simply cannot work that way. This is something i have always critiqued on Hori’s part, that despite that sheer density and strength of his story, he becomes directionless when it comes to appealing to certain sides of the fandom. Which is why we get sm fan service, sm forced izcha crumbs, its Hori’s attempt at keeping both bkdks and izchs happy. And it simply does not work that way.

However, i truly truly thought his choice of ending 430 the way he did was groundbreakingly beautiful. It was the most amazing open ending we could’ve had. But his choice to publish 431, which, he too, seemed unwilling to, really undid 430 chapters of his hard work because not only did it fracture the narrative and corrupt the characters but it also dismantled everything he had built. In a way, it also very much ruined mha in multiple ways.

I hadn’t seen a relationship as beautiful as tgchk and bkdk in shounen before, it was so raw and jarring in so many ways. And as a bisexual woman, Toga’s conclusion felt very dear and personal to me. But sadly, the ending really left a hole in my heart. So when i see these dudebros violently trashing ships and calling them senseless I cannot help but feel super sad because in a way, after chapter 430 the number of these aggressive dudebros had significantly reduced maybe because they were forced to come in terms with the finale. But 431 really resurfaced them in the worst way possible.

[stromuprisahat]

Honestly,I'm kinda baffled with the whole "Alina made Aleksander feel like a human" thing. She never seemed to care much about him,nor about his flaws or vulnerabilities(other than his Death Scene,of course). Or maybe I'm biased due to finding Alina obnoxious and way too bland to be getting all the attention she gets(Genya switched sides for someone who never even stood up for her,Nikolai offered a place alongside him even after she lost her powers). Alina still deserves better than Malware's toxic ass,tho. It's just that the author painted Alina in a much more heroic light than she ever deserved,IMO.

Feeling aren't rational and sometimes they're stirred by people, who did nothing to "earn" such magnitude. Aleksander was in love with her potential and the novelty of meeting someone, who could become his equal, opposing him. He felt "human" as in like a person with their own wants and needs, instead of a personification of his goal.

Genya's betrayal will never make sense to me, unless she's much more ruthless than the narrative wants us to believe, and intentionally switched sides, ensuring a place under Alina's protection as the Darkling's victim (for which I would applaud, and so would likely the man, who had to almost cut his own leg off to support his story).

Nikolai... well, Nikolai's simply weak and afraid. Alina was the only remaining person alive, who was able to control the creatures he partly became, so his offer was likely grasping at straws. Unlucky for him, Alina rarely had empathy to waste on others even before she was severely mutilated herself.

I understand the frustration about the unfairness of it all. Alina doesn't do anything to deserve the reverence she's offered, she doesn't change a single thing about Ravkan situation, and actively makes matters worse for Grisha, yet she seems to be worshiped as some sort of the main Saint post-trilogy.

Her story isn't about an unlikely hero, but a passive figurehead, who has immense power thrust upon them, only to lose the physical part of it and throw away the rest.

[year2000electronics]

not to send the billionth ask about hlvrv but are doc and g-man intentionally narrative foils. man who would do literally anything for his family VS man who believes having a family makes you weak. like. they ARE narrative foils but was it on purpose or a happy accident. also every day i thank you for making sleepless a forzen when i feel like anyone else would've made him a benrey for Frenrey. idk it adds a little pizazz that he's the singular forzen in hlvrv and not a benrey even if him being a benrey would probably change nothing plot-wise

YESSSS and i love it. the question of "was it intentional" is a little here and there because the more i look back at hlvrv the more i forget what i was thinking of in the moment and the more i only have my notes to go off. where episode 1 was kinda me going "UHHHHHHH" and panicking looking at the building blocks that ive laid out desperately trying to smash them together. doc definitely wasnt crafted with the idea that he would have this traitor narrative in mind, and certainly he wasnt created hand in hand with gvrv. his creation was me in the notes app going "uh i need two more gordons. what would be cool. A MAD SCIENTIST MAYBE?" and things kinda fell into place from there.

i think as the live askblog stuff went on i definitely did find my footing with that though, especially as i was going in with the looming shadow of like. onceler-au-ification behind me. i wanted the science teams to play a part in them for sure. and for that connection, that bond, to play a part, and i guess as the story went on doc and freemans fates got more and more intertwined, as doc has this sort of selfish love of her family where she will stop at NOTHING to save them, and the admins whose selfish love of freeman ends up trapping all the other gordons and dangling false hope in front of them, but as the story goes on, as the gordons make these choices to reach out to each other and fight for their happy ending, thats how you see doc and the admins' loves grow into something more deeper and mature. compared to gvrv who chose to love people only as tools

ALSO YEA I LOVE SLEEPLESS. im like 90% sure zer creation was also just me scheming in the notes app like "ooooh theyll NEVER expect this one!" but also i noticed hlvrv at large had a very large forzen-shaped gap so i was like "fuck it". i agree i think making sleepless a benrey would have been tacky

[akiizayoi4869]

Can I maybe have more insight into Sokkla?

Idk I've been wanting to get more into it but I'd just like to hear why people ship them, more depth into them as a ship, how they'd work out, etc

Have a great day ^^

Sure!

I was honestly so confused back when I first found out that people shipped them lol. They only had one scene in the entire show when they interacted and actually spoke to each other, and it wasn't good. But I decided to bite the bullet and check it out anyway. Think it was either one of @seyaryminamoto or @libbysatton25 Sokkla fics that I read, and by the end of it I was like "holy shit why do these two make so much sense for no reason"😂.

People ship them for a number of reasons. Both of them are very smart, are strategists, sense of humor is kinda the same, and they have similar issues when it comes to their parents and how the writers wrote it. With Sokka, his grief about Kya's death is never expanded on or given the same kind of depth like with Katara, even though it would have been really interesting if they did since it was painfully obvious that he had repressed memories of what happened that day, sine he couldn't even remember their mother's face. It's similar with Azula. Zuko's issues with Ozai is taken seriously by the narrative, as is Ursa leaving and how it affected him. With Azula, however, her issues with their mother are never given the same importance. Ignoring the shit comics, during the beach episode where she says "My own mother though I was a monster. She was right of course, but it still hurt" was interesting. For the first time ever, we saw a vulnerable side of Azula, a glimpse of into what her own experience with their family was like (even though we kinda did see it a bit on her end in the Zuko Alone flashback episode). Nobody responded to what she said (and to be fair to them, that's a subject that shouldn't be treated lightly, and they were all teenagers with their own problems, even though at the very least I think that Zuko should have said something) and the last bit of what she said makes the whole thing be treated as a joke.

Which, honestly? Is brilliant, because that's a defense mechanism. Showing a vulnerability without meaning to, and the moment you realize it, you try and deflect by making a joke or acting as if it's not a big deal. I've done that plenty of times. There's just one problem with this: the narrative actually frames what she said as a joke and that it's not a big deal, because she is in fact a monster and even she knows it (I swear narrative framing is seriously a bitch in this show) and it's never brought up in conversation again. Nobody asks her what she meant by that and actually try to talk to her about it, and the ideal candidate for this woukd have been Zuko, since he could sort of get where she's coming from since they have the same messed up family. Instead, it's only touched upon again in the finale during the mirror scene, and then that's it.

Ok I know that I said ignore the garbage comics, but they actually prove my point further. In The Search, Azula's issues with her mother definitely aren't taken seriously whatsoever, she's made to be seen as unreasonable because she's "crazy", and when they find out what actually happened to Ursa and Azula is rightfully angry about it? Once again she's written off as being unreasonable and doesn't get taken seriously at all, and she just runs off and nobody stops her. That entire comic was basically about Zuko and his relationship with their mother (see a pattern there?) and to this day her and Ursa have yet to have a one on one conversation with each other, because apparently this is too hard for the writers to do. The point that I'm trying to make here is that Azula surpresses her feelings because for her, it's a sign of weakness, and she was taught to not show any signs of weakness whatsoever. You know who else surpresses their feelings? Sokka. He obviously has his own feelings about Kya's death, but he pushes that aside for Katara. Yue's death definitely left a profound impact on him, but he never talks about it with anyone, not even his girlfriend Suki. He just bottled it up.

Although in Suki's case I think there's another reason why he doesn't tell her, something that I think nobody actually picked up on in the fandom because I've never seen anyone mentioning this: during the Serpent's Pass episode and the two of them are talking because Suki wants to know why he's being so overprotective of her all of a sudden, he tells her that it's because when they were in the Northern Water Tribe, something happened to somebody that he cared about and that he couldn't protect them. So he was telling her about Yue without really getting into it. In response, Suki sees that as an opportunity to tell Sokka how she feels about him, by saying "I lost someone too. He didn't die, he just went away." So basically, she got the implications of what he was trying to say, and she uses that as a way to confess. Now, if I were Sokka? I wouldn't want to talk about it with that person anymore. Idk why on earth the writers thought that would be romantic, but whatever. I'm not saying that this is the reason why he never tells her about Yue, as far as I'm concerned this is just a headcanon of mine, (and all of this is honestly the main reason why I don't care for Sukka whatsoever, aside from the fact that I find it to be boring and poorly written) but it's interesting to think about. Anyway, both Sokka and Azula bottle up their feelings, which is what a lot of Sokkla shippers picked up on, and it's what makes us think that they'd be able to connect with each other because of that, because they both understand what that's like.

So yeah, I think that's why a lot of people find these two interesting as a non canon couple. If any other Sokkla shippers see this, feel free to add on!

[lurkingshan]

My Journey to You Final Thoughts

Time for a big old brain dump, let's go

What a strange ending!! I am trying to shake it off because before this last ep I was feeling plenty of positive feelings about this show but... what a bizarre place to end the story. Even if a season 2 was guaranteed I would have found that an unsatisfying ending. Blech.

ANYWAY, until it went weird on me, I liked this drama overall. They started to lose me a bit with all the double/triple/quadruple crossings in the final stretch (I really just never need a plot to be that complicated, I find it disorienting rather than exciting and it makes me disengage emotionally) but I liked the overall arc of the story a lot.

I really liked that Ziyu found his own way to be a leader, that he and Shangjue worked together and made peace with each other, and that he brought the whole Gong family together. His way of being the sword wielder might not look the same as those before him, but that doesn't mean he's not suited for the role.

Which is probably the thing I like best about this drama--it has really strong character arcs, especially for the Gong men. I found the emotional arc of Ziyu and Shangjue coming to understand each other the most satisfying of the plotlines, and I really loved Yuanzhi and Shangjue and the way they overcame Lang's shadow to solidify their own bond.

The female characters were... less compelling (starting to pick up on a theme with this writer/director), and I found both of the romances underwhelming in the end. I liked that Weishan was granted freedom and came back by choice, and that she was part of the Gong family scheming, but they really never sold me on her returning the intensity of Ziyu's feelings. I think in the end her temperament was just too mild for me to feel like I understood her true feelings or for her to stick with me as a character.

And Qian was just a mess of contradictions. I didn't feel like I really understood the reason for many of her choices, aside from the narrative wanting to keep her motives and loyalties obfuscated throughout. But not understanding why she was doing anything meant I didn't really care. I definitely did not believe her claim to be pregnant, or that Shangjue fell for it. They never sold me on his being so entangled with her, either. Maybe if they'd let me actually see some of that sex they supposedly had.

Wuji was perhaps the most interesting of the female characters, but I found it hard to believe she was so easily manipulated with the tease of her brother being alive. It was kinda weak for me.

I can't believe we actually made it to the end of this show with all the main characters alive, and I'm not actually sure that's a good thing?? But my fav Jin Fan survived so I will not complain further. Actually I lied I will complain about one thing: did we really need to spend that much time on memory montages for every single minor side character who died? I don't know these men like that.

I ended up rating this the same that I did Fangs of Fortune, but for different reasons. FoF has more stunning visuals, but this has a more coherent story. FoF has more compelling characters, but this has better character arcs. FoF is more of a mess of a wild ride, while this is more of a steady build. I like different things about each of them, in the end.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

For the character ask game - What are headcanon(s) you have for Loki? (Comics or MCU, whichever you feel like)

Comics:

I have this weird HC that the yellow tassel Loki had was Sif's hair that he kept as some weird fucked up trophy to taunt her. It was definitely not his hair as his hair was black and often short. It was later drawn as yellow/golden strings rather than hair, so I probably made this shit up, but IDK I kinda like it? Seems like the sort of petty fucked up thing he'd do.

Loki is a Jotun half-breed. He just looks too different from the rest. The Doylist explanation is that they started making Jotuns bluer with time because they had regular skin tones and basically looked like overgrown Vulcans back in the day.

Loki's mouth being sewn shut is cannon in every comic run not just the ones where it's shown. I just like the angst of that myth so much.

My perception of Loki and Asgard is heavily influenced by Loki (2004) aka "Blood Brothers" where Loki is clearly a hostage/ward and everyone knows he is an adopted Jotun. So, I interpret a lot of the earlier "good Asgard, perfect Odin, perfect Thor, kind and virtuous W4" as being told by an unreliable narrator. I've mentioned before how annoyed I get by the most random and far-fetched suspicions of Loki being "proven true" by the narrative in the majority of Thor comics. Have you considered Loki's not the only one who can lie? Also, a lot of Loki's evil in earlier comics is so over-the-top and the narrative pretends there's no good reason for it. There's no way he wasn't ostracized, abused, or bullied.

Asgard has very good PR and basically chose an adopted Jotun hostage/ward to blame for everything wrong in the realm. They also like to pretend they've always been on the right side of issues and history. IDK I just get frustrated by the narrative quite often. They'll have the good guys manhandling Loki (kid!Loki too) for no good reason but "it's fine because he's evil/his past life was evil."

I ship Loki with every villain they've teamed up with.

MCU:

Frigga had lost her second child (Balder) around the time Loki was brought into Asgard. She resented Loki for a few years because "that thing got to live and Balder did not." Eventually she grew very attached to Loki, and due to guilt, she'd try to overcompensate for her rejection (of course not where it mattered because in my HCs she continued to lie even when it harmed Loki). Loki's not aware of this past having very severe attachment disorders and abandonment issues. Loki's first memories are about being rejected.

Loki had difficulty with any sort of Fire Magic due to being a Jotun but he kept practicing despite how much it harmed him because it was the only time Odin looked at him the way he did Thor. Frigga tried to stop him from doing this but of course, kept the truth from him. Loki interpreted this as her thinking him weak and doubting his magical capabilities. It put a strain in their relationship until Loki managed to conjure Fire with only minor burns. Frigga didn't make things any better, but continued to overcompensate in other ways because guilt.

Loki caused the Gatekeeper (let's call him Vili) that preceded Heimdall to lose his position after a noodle incident. Vili outed Loki to Odin which got him on Loki's shit list. It also caused Loki to learn to conceal them from the All-Sight.

Loki got into a lot of dangerous situations by concealing them-self from the All-Sight.

Either Odin permanently altered Loki's physical form and even the Casket of Ancient Winters can't undo all of it, or Loki is only partially Jotun. Again, he looks too different even when holding the Casket.

Sif and Loki were very close until Loki sabotaged their relationship by cutting her hair as a prank.

[fangirleaconmigo]

I just finished Time of Contempt for the third time and I am deep deep deep in my Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon feelings again. Now that know what’s coming and I understand her arc, I’m catching a lot more.

TW: mentions of sexual assault

Ciri’s descent, which we see a hint of at the end this book, her “corruption arc” is the story of what war, and what the associated abandonment and abuse of children, does to a society. It is a visceral story about how (as the saying goes) A child who is not embraced by the village, will burn it down to feel its warmth.

Probably the worst interview of Sapko that my eyes have had the displeasure to read was a guy who asked him basically (paraphrased) how could Ciri’s mind be so “weak” that she falls into murder and crime after everything she learned from Geralt.

And like BUDDY DID YOU NOT READ THE STORY? Wow ok.

Sapko is like…because that is real, look around you.

“Well, I suppose here my fantasy becomes very real and lifelike. What happened to Ciri happened to hundreds of teenagers, in that number some I knew.”

There is a narrative.

And when kids are all by themselves and repeatedly traumatized and threatened, they will turn where they need to for safety. Their minds and the way they process empathy and emotions will change as a result of related abuse.

And to me, that arc is very believable. And it is part of her rite of passage of ultimately choosing good and coming fully into her power, choosing the love and example of her found family (primarily Geralt and Yen but also Kaer Morhen and Dandelion). In this terrible interview (seriously someone let me interview the man I could do better) he says:

And – last not least – that’s me, the author, who has invented Ciri and her fate, who has invented the whole storyline, and the storyline required of Ciri to become a teenage killer. It was a stage in her rite de passage, the rite of passage.

It is an arc. And for me a very believable (if extremely painful one) First there is the “before”.

The story is very clear who Ciri is before she is alone without the protection of Yen and Geralt.

Her character is already established by Time of Contempt but the narrative still goes through the trouble of showing her deny the offer of destructive power.

As a little girl, (in Blood of Elves) Ciri risks herself to save Triss’s life when she and Geralt’s caravan is attacked. She doesn’t wait for someone else to help, she shields Triss with her body. (That made me feel some kinda way in retrospect let me tell ya)

In the same scene we see how tender hearted she is towards the elves plight and how she resolves not to be neutral.

Blood of Elves and Time of Contempt both show how she is just a little kid who wants parents (running away to see Geralt, writing him letters from Meliteles temple begging him to come see her, identifying fiercely as a witcher girl of Kaer Morhen, idolizing Yen)

But at the end of Time of Contempt, Ciri still makes two dramatic, narrative establishing decisions, that show what kind of person she is.

First is the refusal of power. The refusal of revenge.

In the desert, she taps into prohibited power (fire power) to save Little Horse. It begins to consume her, offering her dominion over the world. It is personified by Falka and it shows Ciri vengeance. It shows her her enemies. It shows her the people who killed her grandma and sacked Cintra. It shows her the black knight.

Ciri and vengeance is already a theme. We know she feels urges towards vengeance for the people who slaughtered her family. The only bad fight she’s had with Geralt was about that. (She says she wanted vengeance and he overreacts and has to follow her and comfort her and apologize. The narrative doesn’t let us hear what he says, it’s through Triss’s eyes, but it is heart wrenching)

And now she is being offered vengeance by showing her what it really looks like. People suffering and dying. And it’s asking hey little girl you want this? Because I can give it to you.

This power also shows her her loved ones.

At this point in the story, Ciri is alone, lost in a desert, and feels abandoned. And any kid that feels abandoned blames her parents. It makes her a very believable kid character. Im alone? Where are my parents?? They’ve abandoned me?? At least that’s what she says.

But when the power offers her the opportunity to take the hurt she is feeling and hurt them back she is horrified.

She shouts out loud that she relinquishes it. She relinquishes all the power and collapses.

She makes an incredibly important decision to refuse destructive vengeful power.

The second thing that happens to establish her character at this point in the saga is she is being pursued by people who want to kill her and/or turn her into Nilfgaard. She is running and trying to escape. She is armed and gets a clear shot at a pursuer but again, sees a human face, and can’t do it. She shows mercy because her empathy will not allow her to see a persons face and kill them.

She is very lucky to survive that encounter.

She is a good, decent, human being.

But the story doesn’t leave us there. It gives us an ominous hint of the oncoming storm.

To get out of a life threatening situation, she joins a gang called The Rats. The Rats are a group of heavily traumatized war orphans who have been abandoned, raped, and abused and have banded together to not be alone. They’ve become murderers and no longer feel empathy for those they harm, but rather they take pleasure at killing others. She sees the look in their faces and identifies it as evil.

They adopt her. They protect her. Suddenly she is ‘safe’. Suddenly she is with others like her (war orphans with heavy trauma). Suddenly she is no longer alone. She is being offered a new identity (her old identity will get her killed at this point) She is them.

They also sexually assault her. (Cycle of abuse. I had to fast forward those parts. I’m listening to the audio and I can’t do that again)

But by the end Ciri has a new family. It’s the only option to her for survival. She finally manages to kill someone and takes the name Falka.

And as the return reader, you already know just how horrific it’s gonna get before it gets better. The feelings of doom. Ooof.

There is so much coming and if you’ve already read it, the dread is real.

It takes worse torture and assault than you can possibly imagine for Ciri to become the “teenaged killer” the narrative demands.

Because above all Ciri is like Yen. She is a survivor. She is angry. She has impulses for vengeance when she is harmed. All of these things are normal and human and can be given healthy outlets in normal situations. But this is not a normal situation.

So yeah I love her so much and the feelings of doom I have going into the next book are hanging over me. Of course it makes the bloody vengeance at the end that much more satisfying. But yeah.

And just to be clear I don’t judge her at all for anything she does during this “corruption” arc. I just don’t. She is surviving and no one can make me hate her ever. I’m an irrational person when it comes to her. And the her growth, her arc is one of the most satisfying I’ve ever read.

Most of us may not be war orphans being pursued by half the world. But the parallels to being an unprotected teenaged girl in a world that wants to exploit you, chew you up, and spit you out, is something those of us who came from abusive homes can understand. It is ultimately very validating and inspiring.

So I’ll be skipping the worst parts on audio. Some of them I just can’t do again. But I’m still obsessed with this story and I love my girl.

Ok thanks for reading my Ciri feels.

[blood-choke]

hiiii… i wanted to ask more about this particular val scene where mc and her talk about that portrait and mc is a bit stuck on the word husband and wants val to know theyre not a man. can i ask what inspired that type of convo? i wanted to know if it’s something you’ll touch up on again? is this underlying feelings mc had before their entombment… worried that val sees them as a man just because mc is masc? cause i know that’s kind of broader discussion in the lesbian community iirc….. was that why you wanted to incorporate it? this ask has so many questions LOL but basically i wanted to say i was intrigued and it did made me think more on those type of dynamics (thinking back to those resources you rb’d a while ago that go more into depth about diff things in the lesbian community)

oh boy get ready for another long-winded answer from me!

a lot of the feelings mc has about their gender are inspired by Leslie Feinberg's work (mainly Stone Butch Blues)

Feinberg was someone who lived & passed as a man for years of hir life, and wrote a lot about the complexities of hir gender and what it was like being a "gender outlaw."

there was actually a scene in particular from sbb that kinda put the kernel of an idea in my mind that led to this narrative of the mc feeling overshadowed by Standard and anxious about being perceived as a man. it's towards the end of the book when Jess (sbb's protagonist) meets Ruth (a trans woman that Jess falls in love with)

Jess offers to help Ruth carry groceries up to her apartment, and Ruth takes this the wrong way & is offended, partly because she thinks Jess is a man.

One Saturday afternoon I found her clutching two huge bags of groceries and fumbling with the downstairs front-door lock. I pulled out my key.

“Here, let me.” She didn’t say thank you. She hurried ahead of me on the stairs.

“Can I help you carry those?” I offered.

“Do I look weak to you?” she asked.

I stopped on the stairs. “No. Where I come from it’s just a sign of respect, that’s all.”

She continued up the stairs. “Well, where I come from,” she called out, “men don’t reward women for pretending to be helpless.” Once I heard her apartment door close I kicked the stair in anger and frustration.

later, after they get to know each other better, they have this interaction:

I laughed and picked at my salad. “Do you know if I’m a man or a woman?”

“No,” Ruth said. “That’s why I know so much about you.”

I sighed. “Did you think I was a man when you first met me?" She nodded. "Yes. At first I thought you were a straight man. Then I thought you were gay. It’s been a shock for me to realize that even I make assumptions about sex and gender that aren’t true. I thought I was liberated from all of that.”

I smiled. “I didn’t want you to think I was a man. I wanted you to see how much more complicated I am. I wanted you to like what you saw.”

i think the inspiration here is quite obvious, hahaha. i figure anyone that's read sbb can sense the similar through-line here in my work. though the conversation between mc and Valentina has a much different tone.

there's another scene later as well after something happens to Jess and she has to have her jaw wired shut. she's working at a new job and is unable to speak, and she's also passing as a man at this job. she overhears some of her female coworkers talking about her and they refer to her as a "creep" and speculate that she's always watching one of them. Jess overhears all of this and then walks out of the job, goes home and pulls the wires out of her mouth herself:

After I was sure I’d gotten the last piece of wire out of my gums, I rinsed my mouth with whiskey and then drank the rest of it so I could sleep without remembering how Marija’s words had stripped me of my humanity.

butches & gnc women still face this kind of dehumanization; compared or likened to men in a derogatory way, accused of being "heteropatriarchal," the predatory stereotype of the fat ugly lesbian, and on the other side they're also hypersexualized, especially online and in queer spaces. butchphobia is a specific kind of misogyny that hits from all sides, even from the people that are supposed to be a part of your community. and this attitude especially effects trans women and women of color, who are already experiencing all of these things due to transmisogyny and racism.

i also really wanted to use this to touch on the kind of gender essentialism that we see in a lot of these cis feminist discussions - to these women at this job, Jess had committed no real crime other than being quiet and being the “wrong” kind of man. something about this scene has always stuck with me and really bothered me, but it's hard to put into words; on one hand i can admit i have probably been one of those women who made some kind of similar remark about a man i barely knew, but i've also been someone on the receiving end, too, because of the way i look. the mc in blood choke is put into this box, but they can't fit in, as someone who has been on both sides and doesn't really understand where they belong because of it; how can she stand beside Valentina or Hana or Clear when they might see her as a perpetrator, someone who can't be trusted? how does this mindset harm both the women and the men of the council and everyone in between? how can we break this cycle?

one of the films i mentioned recently when talking about the character designs was The Same Difference, which is specifically about the Black lesbian community and the discrimination within that community based upon gender roles (though this is not something limited to just the Black lesbian community)

a lot of the women in that doc talk about the boxes they're put in as AG or stud lesbians - they can't have their hair long, they can't wear makeup, they can't do this or that, they have to be aggressive and hard or else they're not real studs. they discuss stud on stud (or butch4butch) and how other lesbians look down on those types of lesbians, as well as the disdain for bisexual women for "betraying" the community. it explores the way misogyny and the patriarchy still oppress these women and forces them into this restrictive gender role despite their refusal to adhere to the other role originally assigned to them, and the way racism specifically intersects and exacerbates it for Black lesbians. there's a stud that's an exotic dancer and wears a weave, and a lot of other studs have a problem with this because a weave is "a female thing." another section follows a pregnant stud, and how the community shuns her for that, because she "dresses like a man and acts like a man" so why is she getting pregnant when she should be "the man"?

mc doesn't remember how they felt before entombment, but waking up they feel this need to prove themselves - both in that they are hard and aggressive like a butch should be, but also in that they want to be this person for Valentina or Clear or Hana (or all of them) that is safe and comforting. but they aren't sure how to do that when the world perceives them as this one specific thing - as a husband, as Standard, as a man, specifically this man who hurt Valentina.

of course we've already seen this to not be true of the companions with the last chapter as the mc learns more and spends more time with everyone. but this is kind of the foundation of where this whole idea came from. it started with my novel & i chose vampires for that story & this one because there is a long history of lesbian vampirism (and also because it's sexy) but there's this "curse" that both Hana & Valerie talk about in their respective stories, the first one being the racism she's had to face, the transphobia, along with this alienation and perception of lesbians as predatory and conniving and aggressive, as vampires, which i just think really lends itself to expanding upon these issues lesbians & trans women face both in general and within the community.

anyways if you want to read more i suggest Stone Butch Blues, which you can get for free on Leslie Feinberg's website, as well as S/he, by Minnie Bruce Pratt, available on the internet archive, Gender Failure by Ivan E. Coyote & Rae Spoon also on the internet archive, and you can rent The Same Difference for $10 on vimeo.

[niennawept]

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

Fanfic writer interview

Thank you for tagging me, @fishing4stars! Sorry it took so long to answer.

How many works do you have on AO3? 17, which is a good deal more than this time last year.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 184,247, which is not too much more than last year, lol.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes: (I’m going to only include narratives here - I do have a NSFW alphabet but we're not counting that.)

Scars of Silver and Gold: An elven healer is captured by orcs prior to the events of season one of The Rings of Power and when one of them is injured, she makes the only choice her conscience will accept. It sets her on a path that will change her life and how she views the world forever. Adar/OC.

Mistletoe Mischief: A smutty one-shot about a secretary reader kissing her boss under the mistletoe... and other things. Adar/Reader

Calendar Girl: Reader is a photographer who must pay the rent; Adar is a model for a sexy charity calendar. Shenanigans ensue. Adar/Reader

My Kingdom for a Door: A lighthearted little one-shot set after Scars. Spicy. Adar/OC.

Because the world is ending: A ficlet that imagines Bilbo and Thorin went to destroy the Ring instead of Frodo and Sam. Bagginshield.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always! One of the things that's so fun about fandom is sharing it with other people. Conversations across chapters of a fic are so wonderful.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Scars has a pretty bittersweet ending imo. Yes - they get some very good things at the end, but also [spoilers redacted].

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I think it's a tie between "heavy is the crown" and "into the wild." The former is an AU where Kili outlived Thorin and Fili to become King and Balin comforts him on a bad grief day. And the latter imagines a hopeful-ish ending where Mablung found Nienor before it was too late.

Do you write crossovers? Not so far.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Nope. Spam sometimes. Once I got a comment that complimented me while bringing down other writers (not fic writers, public figures) and that made me feel kinda funny. But not hate, no.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yep, please see the kudos'd fics list, lol. Mostly M/F, some F/F.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I hope not - but if one has been I don't know about it.

Have you ever had a fic translated? One - a very long time ago in a fandom far away (which is gonna make you think Star Wars, but I've never written Star Wars fic)

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope. Though, I have talked people through blocks before and had that done for me.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? Vingilot - next question.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Oh gosh. I have several at this point. A fic about Finrod's death with Adar making a guest appearance. A Meladriel fic that I was writing for a silmkinkmeme prompt. A Vaire/Miriel fic that I was writing for a silmkinkmeme prompt. Who knows? Sometimes I get a wild hare to rescue one-shots like those.

What are your writing strengths? People mention my worldbuilding and my original characters most often.

What are your writing weaknesses? I'm a perfectionist and I let it stop me from writing drafts sometimes. I'm getting better but boy, it is it hard.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? As long as there's a translation that's fairly easy to access or intuit from the words on the page, I'm all for it. I think languages and Tolkien go hand in hand.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I still haven't written anything for Lord of the Rings, despite having fics for the Silm, The Hobbit, and Rings of Power. One day I'll write the Eomer/Lothiriel fic where she doesn't know how to ride a horse and he has to teach her.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Mmmmm. I'm going to disqualify Scars on account of that would be a boring answer. So ... toss up between "peaches we devour, dusty skins and all" and "Where now all our sons?" I'm very proud of both of those fics. And coincidentally, they both were written this year. So I might not have written much, but at least I wrote some things that I liked.

Thanks for the tag, friend. This was a much needed distraction at the end of a long day.

Tagging (no pressure): @bigblissandlove1, @hellofeanor, @dwarveslikeshinythings, and anyone to whom this looks like fun!

[mekatrio]

literally so much has happened in tota jfsdjvnsjafk so here are some of my thoughts bc. So Much. has happened. and i think this is a good moment in gameplay to step back and review things before Even More Stuff Happens and i forget these thoughts. wanted to do this last night but i was too sleepy so 😗

where i am currently... literally just left the house and reached yulia city after lowering the outer lands like wow. the game was reallyyyy hyping up the battle with van to be The Last Battle but like theres no way right..... i didnt know what to expect but a one month timeskippy skip was not one of them so. this will be interesting. but ill babble more abt that later ummmm i think ill pick up from. natalia and her father making up.

that was a really sweet moment.... and Yes i did cry and also OMG the english voice acting in this game is amazing. i think its really cool how neither natalia or luke are the 'true' heirs to the throne although their situations are completelyyy different. though i do kinda feel like it came out of nowhere LOL while i love the story so far i do think it has some weak parts, primarily with its build up.. like the game is very dense with arte mechanics lore + politics and i dont think it does the best job of easing it into the story. theres a lot to take in and even now theres still stuff i dont completely understand like what. is an isofon. and also how come asch can make hyperresonances too Huh i thought only luke could cuz hyperresonances are when two 7th fonons collide and luke being a replica kinda made two 7 fonons in him but apparently no. what. huh. and also another instance i remember is like, as of Now i know that the score is a big deal, but before the legretta boss fight i didnt really get that cuz luke (and by extension me) was too busy learning basic societal conventions and the importance of the score was not one of them. so like yeah. still enjoying the game in spite of this but it could stand to be smoother

moving on um. let me babble abt guy. guy is a wonderfully complex character likeeeee the type of dude i love to rotate in my mind. skilled at hiding their negative feelings which is sooo interesting in conjunction with the time hes spent w luke and the fabres, bc he has a very valid reason to hate them, BUT he also genuinely cares for luke. probably. like its spelled out by the game that luke deliberately chooses to trust guy despite him having every reason to betray him and that is just SOOOO compelling and interesting like wow. and its also incrediblyyy compelling that guy is able to deeply sympathize with our main antagonist van bc they are both survivors of hod and its just like.... yeah very fascinating dude.

also interestingly enough i think tear's character narrative is the weakest to me despite being a character we've been around the longest? like shes similar to guy in that they both have close relations to the main antagonist, but guy had actually experienced the same thing that van had experienced, while tear had only heard abt it second hand. shes got her loss of faith in mohs / the score / the order going for her + her miasma sickness, but the story hadnt really touched on that tht much. with that said tho, i hold faith that the rest of the story will adequately flesh out the rest of her character, bc theyre gonna have to resolve her miasma sickness at some point and i think that's when she'll get her proper arc, along with asch's and van's characters which are also currently unresolved.

also my currently favorite moment of hers is from one of her training flashbacks with legretta, where in the present day she knocked out a monster that was about to attack luke, and in the flashback legretta killed a knight that attempted to attack tear. and legretta was telling her um... fuck i didnt take a picture so i cant precisely remember X( but it was something about the value of life, and showing enemies no mercy. but tear defied her and moved on from her teachings bc she chose to heal the monster bc it had children nearby. and that was a very sweet moment to me :') im looking forward to having more tear in the storyyyy

also speaking of legretta. jesus christ the sheridan massacre was crazy... and unexpected too. the antagonists are really crazy huh. like obvs they make a point abt freeing one self's from the score / "fate" but also like... the War Crimes.... idk ill have to see where the story is taking this but how it stands right now its like... compelling but also kinda weird because the question tota poses is... kinda theoretical?? but also not?? cuz a lot of whats being questioned is abt the score, which we, real world people, Do Not have a modern world equivalent for.. but its also not completely abt the score and is kinda like saying, "Is it ok to hurt others if it's believed prosperity will be achieved from it?" which is also kinda like saying "Is there any justifiable reason to destroy others?" and also when you throw replicas in there its like "For what reason are you alive for? If the reason for your life is already dictated, must you follow it?" something like that...... also im curious abt how the game will frame the church in the end bc like... ya mohs and the oracle knight are portrayed negatively, but our homie ion is shown positively like... its surprisinglyy nuanced but i wonder if it will steer around w that at the end. especially considering the numerous mentions of the church subsisting from donations which well... Can Be Problematic, to say the least.

speaking of the problematic church.... aniseeeeeee 🥺 at first i wasnt very interested in her character bc a young boy-crazy girl is a trope that im kinda sooooo over with.. but then it turned out that omg? anise isnt that at all but is actually a gold digger LMAO that is awesome?! and its very compelling how her reasoning for being one is very sympathetic, with how her parents are poor followers of the church and anise is trying to attain a better life for both them and herself. and the way we learn that shes not really boy crazy is really cool too with how she does a 180 and becomes completely (and justifiably) nasty to luke after akzeriuth, i think her meanness and brattiness is sooo awesome. but shes also very kindhearted like the.. oh....

this made me very teary eyed like T_T oh..... to see the first time we ever see anise crying is over someone who she probably used to be friends with.. and also how shes also been shown being sympathetic to dist, jade's former kinda maybe friend.. she is a very great character and not at all what i thought she'd be like initially, which im very thankful for.

also i fucking love her dynamic with jade it is SOOO awesome AND funny af cuz like, when u see these two you might expect a fucking, endearing older man looking after a younger child dynamic. but thats not what u get with these two at all, they are two very capable soldiers and jade is shown to rely on and trust anise and vice versa, and also jade is a very haughty and somewhat mean-spirited person, and anise can match with that perfectly. like when jade was being a well meaning douche casting suspicion on guy, which led to luke restating his decision to trust in guy, anise followed up with teasing jade like 'awww youre going soft on them teehee XD'. and also like this convo is so awesome

where epic observant anise points out to jade that 'Hey you care about these people dont you?' and its SOOO awesome that this is when jade realizes like 'LOLLLL apparently i do!!! 🤣'

and JADEEE like omg he is also a really cool character because like. during that moment where his sister speaks alone with luke to warn him 'hey my brother is Fucking Crazy and you are a Science Experiment so Watch out' i laffed bc it kinda felt like it came out of nowhere to me, but as the game progressed and jade's genius became more evident + when he admits this

thats when it really clicked to me that ohh..... jade is kinda Apathetic Af. and yet i find it very VERY cool that despite lacking empathy for others, jade is portrayed rather positively. like yes he's made unfathomable mistakes and has hurt others and yes he lacks basic empathy But he still cares about others enough to help everyone to save the world and he cares abt the party members in his own weird way like i think this is the first time ive seen a character that lacks empathy being portrayed positively like this and i think thats really really awesome.

i have a lot more to say but um i kinda wanna stop putting down my thoughts and play the game instead LOL so im stopping here yayy

[dujour13]

⭐ for The Prodigal Tiefling?

Thank you Crow!! 💕💕 hehe another chance to ramble

Since I answered another ask for the side-fic The Prodigal Tiefling I’m brazenly going to use this one for the chapter by the same title in The Lark and the Crow.

This is one of the very earliest chapters I wrote before having any intention of uploading anything, so it’s a bit creaky but dear to me.

First of all giggling maniacally while writing Woljif in hot water with the Baphomet cultists, who are not exactly the sharpest daggers in the demonic ritual DIY kit, lucky for Woljif. He has them running red-herring errands to try to keep them from sacrificing Deval:

“Now you’re talkin’. First, you need the right kinda altar. This half-baked scraped-up pentagram just won’t do. It’s gotta be granite; big slab, you know, to catch all the blood. Next, you gotta have the right kinda knives: Abyssal uh, obsidian. Dipped in the blood-rain of the Worldwound on the night of an eyeball storm. And it’s gotta be the right timing.” He looked up at the stars for a long moment, making mystic calculations. “When the moon is in retrograde.”

I’m sorry I’m such a nerd but I made myself laugh with the moon in retrograde thing. Truly the blind leading the blind.

This is an important character moment for Siavash. He finds Woljif and almost weeps with relief, but doesn’t miss a beat with “Hail Baphomet.” These two’ll be partners in crime in no time. And Woljif is more than impressed when to back it up he pulls an actual succubus out of nowhere and the cultists immediately decide this guy is ok.

Next a little interlude written much later gives a glimpse into Siavash’s loneliness as Knight-Commander and how much he valued Woljif’s company before he disappeared. This is a direct echo of my own desperate search in my first playthrough of the game. (I didn’t want to take Drezen without him. I looked everywhere. I cried. Siavash cried. Google didn’t help. It was awful. Eventually realized you have to take Drezen first.) This brings us back to his emotion in the present.

For narrative sake the chapter then goes straight into the confrontation with Voetiel. I re-wrote my own version of the dialogue, partly because I hadn’t taken screenshots (not intending to upload the fic) and partly because it was just fun.

I kind of enjoyed ending the battle with “Darkfang” the cultist and Deval rolling around on the ground trying to kill each other. I feel like Baphomet cultists are such a treasure trove of comedy.

But one of my favorite Woljif moments of all time in the game is how he tries to convince you that the only reason he went to so much trouble to save Deval from the cultists was because he didn’t want to be haunted by his ghost afterwards. This transparent lie is just everything I love about him.

And of course, most importantly, the aftermath is the occasion of Woljif’s very first hug of his whole life AAAAHHHHH

On the road back to Drezen there’s a chance for Lann and Woljif to pit their social philosophies against each other in camp:

The mongrel shook his head. “Listen. You don’t seem to get it. Hiding or running off when we’re fighting, stealing stuff, trying to get out of doing chores—think of what a disaster it would be if everybody acted like you. If everybody does their fair share, everybody’s better off. Don’t you see that?” “You wouldn’t last one minute on the streets,” Woljif shot back. “You give one green copper, play the hero one instant, show one weakness, and they’ll eat you alive. Hold the end of your tail in the fire ‘til you squeal. Haul you up and hang you by the horns. Horn. Whatever. You’re the one who doesn’t get it.”

Siavash might not strictly agree with Woljif here, but he’s sympathetic.

I kind of liked this little exchange when they arrive back in Drezen:

“Welcome to Drezen. Brand new city, ripe with opportunity.” Siavash surveyed the stinking heaps of rubble and demonic graffiti proudly. “Don’t mind the mess.” “Reminds me of the command tent,” Woljif muttered, not unhappily.

And then the flighty azata commander promptly gets sidetracked, and Woljif finds himself in a new city with nowhere to call home, and everyone else goes off and leaves him standing there. Resourceful as always Woljif finds his own way soon enough.

The chapter is a bit long and windy, but it’s about Woljif’s relationship with people—his understandable distrust and his sense that it’s him against the world, but also his secret generosity and need to be accepted.

It starts with Woljif alone against the cultists, and ends with him on his own again in Drezen. But in between he gets a taste of what looks a lot like real friendship: somebody who’s got his back unconditionally, somebody who has the smarts to pick up his cue and run with it. Somebody who gives nice hugs.

[dq-avenquire]

Omg hi aven I hope you are doing so so so well grrrrr!! I saw your DQIX boss tier list and I just wanted to ask since I am so curious like! I know you gave some thoughts about the bosses in the tags but your thoughts on tarantula in specific got me thinking because them being interesting yet weak as a boss fight is like. So real ?? Literally huh?? And it's a SHAME because the Bloomingdale story is one of my favorites from the main game! So I just wanted to ask like, what standout bosses felt narratively gripping but weak as a boss fight? Did any feel kinda eh for you storywise but actually got your blood pumping a little?? I am just so curious lmao. Everytime I see you gush about DQIX it feels like I am a starry (hehe) eyed kid who got transported back to 2009 waakwkwajjansnssns

P.s I hope your party/parties are questing well!!!

this is so shameful i did not see this i am so sorry scuffle my friend sniffle....i will ramble so much just for you. (i hope you can feel me beaming astral gratitude at you, you are very kind to me) OKAY SO. spoilers for most of dqix ahead tread carefully questers!!! the post our dear friend scuffle is speaking of is this one here where im tiering boss's based on very arbitrary and specific criteria, and im gonna go into more depth rn: disjointed rambles lie ahead beware!!!

i spoke a bit about tyrantula already but - while i dont know if i just happen to be overlevelled everytime i get to bloomingdale or if its just scaled weirdly - shes always absurdly easy for me to beat. ive never felt like im chipping away at her, its always more. okay well theres like 3 turns left moving on. and then shes gone! and thats such a shame given my already long standing feelings on tyrantula. there is something to be said in regards to her being weak potentially fitting nicely into the story if we see it as a sort of "marion(ette) wouldve been easy to save, but no one ever did" kind of concept, but thats almost definitely not what was intended so it feels a little. unearned, i suppose. especially given that the reward is the massive boat and no true happy ending for marion(ette)

story wise i'll admit i was actually kinda :/ about leviathan and porth llaffan - i was really attached to jona because i thought her accent and design was really cute, but the actual build up itself was not particularly interesting to me for whatever reason (felt a little generic? not sure, i found a good chunk of newid isle to be a bit "going through the motions-y", even if i really enjoyed the tower of trades itself*) (my issue lay more with the cave than the story). the boss fight however? i struggled with that SO MUCH as a kid. something about the waves he summoned DESTROYED my team repeatedly and i remember getting so incredibly invested in trying to JUST barely pull through. repeated heart racing and wishing that there was a health bar so i could at least tell if i was even remotely NEAR close to beating it. finally seeing that flash of white with the last hit really got me, and the following scene with jona and her father kinda pulled the whole thing together for me! i really liked going back to porth llafan to talk to jona every once in a while, even if her dialogue didnt change. my friend :) * want to clarify. i definitely didn't Dislike anything, i think i was just so enamoured and curious about the whole whale summoning thing the ghost was talking about, and then having the focus be turned on "youre going through a cave now" without much extrapolation on this village's non celestrian based worship made me a little disappointed, so by contrast 9 year old me was WAY more excited by going on to bigger places. perhaps also part of my conflict was that i actually beat the porth llafan section BEFORE alltrades. im not even sure if i went to alltrades abbey at all before beating the whale. probably didnt help some of it feeling a little jumbled!

that being said, i think the boss ive come around on most is either goreham hogg and/or the master of nu'un! i ranked goreham hogg pretty low but feel the need to clarify that part of that is just that hes REALLY fun to hate. hes this awful, opulent beast of a boss who destroyed me age 9 and ran/runs that sincerely horrific slave camp/prison so its easy to dislike him! thats good! hes a villain! im MEANT to not like him, and given how much i ADORE goresby purrvis (for being so cool) and hootingham gore (for his sick design) its probably important that i want to sincerely kill at least one of them. there is very little i truly dislike about dq9, since i tend to have Fun getting mad about things in a cathartic sort of way.

re: master of nu'un - he was a boss i never found particularly standout, and found weirdly anti climactic when put in contrast of this weird and mysterious tower (that has no clear purpose btw i need to talk about that in depth sometime what the fuck is the tower of trades actually there for from a worldbuilding perspective im so intrigued) and then this strange glowing room (which is literally referred to as the ??? room in the wiki btw. isnt that sick) where this priest weve been looking for is just. transformed. and that transition is really cool honestly!! i imagine it wouldve been more monumental to me if id done things in order, since i wouldnt have seen the fyggs in action yet, and in theory it also makes a really interesting narrative precursor to corvus (see my previous notes on jack abott and his parralels to the player) but i feel like his abilities and attacks were just a bit...eh? no super standout animations, which is a shame given that he does a quirky little "hehe what should my new evil name be....high jack....jackrilege maybe ....." before the fight and implies some sick mischief in him that doesnt really get communicated further. i think some of my feelings on this got sorta cemented when (over a decade later) i finally fought yore, and his design and fight felt a good bit more fitting to him. sure, it makes sense for a priest to get a fucked up evil demon form, but it just doesnt quite hit the nail on the head! its not terrible, just not the coolest thing in the series!