#and it just makes them that much more tragic. imagine what they'd be like if they weren't put through That

[youngpettyqueen]

I know the decision to have Julian's parents have him augmented was made on the fly but imo its pretty obvious from early on that Julian has Family Issues because he avoids talking about his family like the plague and I think they should've incorporated this into the Julian and Sisko dynamic right from early on because I think it would've made for some really compelling stories and moments and could've set up a REALLY interesting Julian and Jake dynamic which they kinda started to do but never fully went for

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i'll be over here like vatborn have ✨️ ZOOMIES 😍 ✨️ and then the zoomies will be to Bite Murder Kill civilians

[perseidlion]

I'm new to the KAOS fandom, and I honestly love the way the show is riffing off myth.

I've seen some rumblings of some people thinking they're changing too much. But, uhhh, the show definitely never promised they'd be sticking close to myth by its whole *gestures broadly* deal. Also like...WHICH version of the myths? There are so many and they changed, sometimes drastically over time. KAOS is just really continuing the tradition of remixing these characters and the stories.

I feel like the people who are saying this takes it too far probably have a superficial understanding of Greek and Roman mythology. Cause if you really dig into it, these stories are weird, contradictory, raunchy, violent and tragic.

I was a Classics major for two years (before I decided I couldn't learn Latin or Greek which was required to study primary sources, so I switched majors.) And let me tell you, KAOS is VERY accurate to certain portrayals of the gods. Not all, of course, but many.

Zeus is absolutely a horndog dick who sleeps with all sorts of people and spreads his seed everywhere. I mean, he straight-up disguised himself as other people to have sex with their partners. Animals, too!

Hera is incredibly petty and vindictive and transforms people into all sorts of things as punishment. She was especially hard on any of Zeus' lovers she caught, or his kids from different mothers.

Everyone was doing adultery all the time.

Hades wasn't a meek corporate type, but he also wasn't a devil analogue as he often gets interpreted as in pop culture. He's definitely a big ole grump and doesn't seem to have a soft side, but he's not often portrayed as evil. Zeus is not God and Hades is not Satan. That's really applying a Judeo-Christian framework to Greek mythology.

The myth of Orpheus and Eurydice was always more about grief and not being able to let go than about the power of true love.

The gods gained obedience and worship through fear. They absolutely punished people who didn't worship they way they wanted them to.

The gods were a giant, powerful, highly dysfunctional family with lots of petty grievances and grudges.

The Greeks had no concept of gay or straight. They conceptualized sex and sexuality as acts, not an identity. They were more concerned about who was the passive person in a sexual encounter (for reasons of class and manliness) rather than what gender their partner was. So it makes sense that this modern retelling would have a similiarly open an undefined concept of sex and sexuality.

Greek myth is full of people who change genders or who swap back and forth through magic or prayer, or were both male and female at the same time. Caeneus in the show, is based on a real myth of someone AFAB who wished to become a man.

(sidenote: Misia Butler is so damned charming and handsome.)

It's also important to remember that the religion of the ancient Greeks lasted a very long time and changed over that time. There was also this really interesting dichotomy between the gods of plays and myths and the gods they worshipped in a religious context. That was one thing that is really hard to wrap your head around when you're studying Greek and Roman myth, especially when you're studying it alongside plays and epic poetry.

The gods of the stories who were being vengeful and petty and the gods they sacrificed to and worshipped were not the same - and they were. Sort of imagine it like Christian peoples' perceptions of Jesus vs Jesus in pop culture. Like, if you studied Dogma or Good Omens or something alongside the Bible and didn't distinguish between religion and pop culture, you'd definitely be confused.

So there are all these competing stores, some benevolent and holy, some raucous and scandalous. KAOS very ably continues in that tradition by remixing and recontextualizing the source material for a new audience.

They do some reaaalll weird thing with timelines, though! They squish together myth and pick and choose different versions and inspiration. But honestly that doesn't bother me because it's all done deliberately and not out of ignorance. They're changing what they've changed to serve the story.

Plus it's great fun. It's one of the most creative shows I've seen in ages. Go and watch it! As a bonus, it's also hella queer.

[purplespacekitty]

Ramblings on Tora Ziyal

I think it’s well beyond a shame that they killed off Ziyal because I really would have liked to see her Cardassian-Bajoran identity more fleshed out and have her navigate the world beyond her father’s influence. She was starting to do that a bit with Kira and Garak (though I strongly feel that Garak should have been more of a mentor figure than a love interest) and it would have been really cool to see her get to hang out with Jake and Nog and just be a kid for once. It feels way too weird the way they began her character as this traumatized little girl who knew nothing but the brief time of her life she spent with her mother on Bajor and the horrors of the Breen mines and then magically turned her into this saccharine sweet, mostly well-adjusted young woman who loves her tyrant father despite his crimes (and in many ways, is seemingly unaware of them???????). Where was the therapy? Where was the rehabilitation? Where was the jaded child we saw in “Indiscretion”? What if Ziyal had been allowed to channel her anger and pain into learning about Bajor and Cardassia, into healing herself? Her dad basically plucked her out of the Breen mines after years of giving less than a Cardassian vole's asshole about her and then it turns out he originally planned to kill her when he found her? After she prayed for years that he'd come and save her? I'd be pissed.

But also, I wish they'd explored more of why she didn't appear to be all that pissed. We have almost no other context for Ziyal's childhood, certainly not any of what it was like before Dukat sent her and Naprem away. Was it simply exhaustion and desperation that led her to the conclusion that she'd rather die than not be with him once he'd found her? Was there a guise Dukat put up to portray himself as a kind father and mask the tyrant underneath before he sent Naprem and Ziyal away? Or did she even get to see Dukat at all in her early childhood? Did she simply assume he would be a loving father? Is that the image Ziyal clung to for comfort for all those years? Did she cling so tightly she could do little else but believe it?

It feels icky to kind of reduce her existence to Dukat Drama™ the way the show ultimately did with her death. Why didn’t we get to see her experiencing disillusionment about Dukat, who never actually changed for the better when she was still alive and trying to get him to stop being so horrible? Why didn’t we get any Rugal-level anger from her, the hushed-up child of a Bajoran comfort woman and the genocidal former Prefect of Bajor? Because, obviously, Dukat never actually took his fatherhood to her seriously. She tried to imagine him as someone he was not and he predictably chose to inflate his own ego by encouraging her. She wasn't much more to him than a device to garner some twisted idea of sympathy for himself. Ziyal needed more of a chance to break away from relying on Dukat for unconditional love. Because his love, as we know, was not unconditional. In fact, I hesitate to even call it love at all, given how ready he was to manipulate Ziyal, how ready he was to get rid of her. She had unconditional love from Kira, who immediately went to bat for her before she’d even met her when she found out what Dukat planned to do to his own daughter. And I totally believe Garak’s love for Ziyal could have grown into something unconditional, but they ruined it with some weird, out-of-nowhere romance with an uncomfortable age gap and then had her killed off like some tragic, helpless maiden.

DS9 was sort of the only place Ziyal could experience any sort of semblance of real safety in her life, especially considering both Bajoran and Cardassian attitudes towards biracial children. It would have been interesting to explore an arc with her making DS9 her home as a place that is conducive to the cohabitation of many different species and cultures while also wrestling with isolation and ostracization from those who share in the two most pervasively impactful facets of her identity. Maybe the writers wanted to focus on portraying her girlhood and favored it over exploring the complexities of her Cardassian-Bajoran heritage. But honestly, they failed at both. She never got to have a girlhood and she ultimately became more of a plot device than a fully-fledged character. This franchise started off with its most interesting and beloved main character being both Vulcan and human. I know Ziyal is someone else entirely, but they totally could have done more with her than they did.

I would love, love, LOVE to see her engage with different aspects of both Bajoran and Cardassian culture. I wonder if she would develop any kind of spirituality regarding the Prophets. Since Bajorans are widely a spiritual people, it's possible Naprem shared some of her spiritual practices with her daughter. If she did, does Ziyal observe those practices to feel closer to her mother? Does she seek Kira's help in learning more about Bajoran spirituality? Do they connect over the struggles their faith has gotten them through? Would delving deeper into Bajoran spirituality open a gateway to acceptance from other Bajorans? Or would it make them turn their backs on her even more? How does her Cardassian-Bajoran heritage impact the way she interacts with her own spirituality and beliefs? As far as Cardassian culture goes, Garak certainly has an eye for art and I could see her connecting with Professor Natima Lang, Hogue and Rekelen and learning about Cardassia's resistance movements.

Also, multiple Bajoran and Cardassian drinks, confections and meals are shown throughout the series and especially with respect to its main character, DS9 frequently places food in an important cultural, community-building role. As someone whose strongest connection to their own heritage comes from food, I would have loved to see Ziyal engage with both Bajoran and Cardassian culture through food.

Obviously, we were robbed of heaps and heaps of space station shenanigans:

Nog sharing what he learns from Starfleet Academy with Ziyal, Ziyal trying tube grubs and actually liking them.

Ziyal illustrating Jake’s stories into comic books or murals and the two of them creating stuff together and maybe some nerdy pop culture history discussions on the side. I feel like Jake, Nog and Ziyal would totally have weekly movie nights.

Odo looking out for her, giving her advice about handling bullies, the two of them bonding over being generally considered the odd ones out and Ziyal making paintings to add to his quarters.

Kira giving her lots of hugs, teaching her to fight, protecting her from bigots and helping her embrace her Bajoran background, teaching her Bajoran culture. Ziyal stealing clothes from Kira's closet occasionally ("You hardly ever wear anything other than your uniform, anyway! And they fit, see?"). Ziyal sneakily tagging along on Kira and Dax's trips to the holosuites, eventually convincing them to just invite her to them regularly, anyway. She knows how to use her cuteness as a force for good, but more importantly, she knows how to use it as a force for capers and hijinks.

Garak making her clothes, teaching her the art of cunning deceit and helping her embrace her Cardassian background, teaching her Cardassian culture. More hangouts in the holosuites basking on steaming rocks. And the two of them giggling in tasteful mirth at Bashir because he finds Cardassian literature boring.

Gossiping with Bashir and Jadzia, learning to treat wounds and carry a bat’leth, never growing tired of Dax’s many tales of woe, romance and adventure.

Sisko teaching her how to cook and inviting her to play baseball with him and Jake.

Quark occasionally letting her have a drink on the house because she can be more devious than him if she wants to be (“Listen, kid, if you’ll get rid of all this root beer for me, you can have as many free glasses as you want”).

Leeta and Rom being the cool aunt and uncle who buy her all the jumja sticks she wants.

Babysitting Molly and Kirayoshi and learning about plants, science and Earth history from Keiko. I wish Keiko had gotten more screen time - in general, but also of her in her element, studying plants and playing music. It's criminal that we never see Keiko play her clarinet in DS9, so I definitely would love to see the two of them playing music together if Ziyal felt so inclined.

Leaving O’Brien in the dust at darts for reasons he simply cannot fathom.

Listening to Klingon opera with Worf over glasses of prune juice.

Becoming an accidental stowaway on Kasidy’s freighter one day and Kasidy taking her with on missions to Bajor. Kasidy, Keiko and Ziyal hanging out together is a trio dynamic that never happened and definitely should have.

Talking stuff out with Ezri, the two of them commiserating over their respective identity crises.

Dressing up for nights at Vic’s.

Learning about Klingon music from that Klingon chef (I believe his name is Kaga) on the Promenade.

Punching each successive version of Weyoun in the fucking face (maybe even Weyoun 6, accidentally or intentionally, doesn't matter, it would just be funny).

Rebel strategies with Damar (I think he’d come around if he didn’t have it out for her and got over Cardassian bureaucracy), Kira and Garak.

Helping around the house whenever she and Garak visit Mila, long talks with Mila about her Obsidian Order days.

Weekly dinners with everybody.

I want to see her making friends and being supported by all the loving, caring people around her who love her (collectively and individually) more than her actual-piece-of-shit dad. I want her to grapple with the fact that certain people hate the mere existence of her enough to want her dead but also decide to go “hell with it” and fucking live for herself. She deserves to be more than the tragedy that made Dukat finally snap and descend into pure insanity. She deserves to laugh and cry and stomp her feet and dance and shout and sing and love and play and paint to her heart’s content. She deserves to be angry. She deserves to have a childhood, an adolescence, an adulthood and an elderhood. She deserves to live. And maybe to be the perpetrator of a few political assassinations as a treat.

So………....................suffice to say, I have a LOT of thoughts about Ziyal. I love her and I wish the show runners had loved her more, too.

[deramin2]

(Spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 1)

I don't have any expectations for wherever FCG will stay dead or come back somehow because I've spent 9 years watching Sam Riegel totally subvert my expectations in a narratively compelling way.

But I will say that "FCG shouldn't come back because it would lessen the impact of a narratively perfect death" is EXACTLY what people were saying about Percy's first death after C1 E68. (The first televised character death.) If he had to have an end, it was a fitting end that, while tragic, neatly tied up the thesis of the story. Would Taliesin even want him to come back? With Whitestone saved and Ripply killed, was there even much left to explore?

They found Percy's death letter telling them he loved them all but please bury him in a ditch with all his designs so he could be forgotten by history. He was so sorry for all he'd done and he could never make it up.

But they tried anyway, having to wrest Percy's soul away from Orthax. The players knew what they said in the resurrection ritual was meaningful along with their rolls. But they did not know they were also having to convince Taliesin. If they'd tried to appeal to Percy's soul in the wrong way, dice be damned, Percy was going to refuse. What we got was really meaningful and powerful roleplay (especially from Marisha and Laura) that did convince Percy along with successful rolls.

Being brought back did not at all weaken Percy's own sacrifice or the impact of his death. It forced him to confront everything he'd been running from. It forced him to see that there were people who loved him and would not let him throw himself away for them. They didn't want a martyr, they wanted their friend. It utterly changed the trajectory of his character.

There's only four ways I can think of on the table to bring FCG back:

True Resurrection — Incredibly expensive high level spell. They would have to find the materials as well as someone who both can and is willing to cast the spell in the middle of a war to stop a second Calamity. None of this would be easy. The ritual could still fail. FCG could decline to come back and the other players would not know that until they went to all the effort. The Raven Queen views True Resurrection as heresy which is why they didn't try it on Vax. How would a second chance change them?

Reincarnate — Lower level and cheaper spell. FCG would come back as a fleshy being instead of an Aeormaton. Would the experience live up to FCG's fantasies about it? How would it change them to realize they are truely alive, and always were, but are now also mortal? Reverse Veth story? Wild ass Pinocchio retelling? What does it mean to get a second chance but everything about you is different?

Wish — I think this would count as duplicating True Resurrection. High component cost and requires a high level magic user. (If it's duplicating a spiral there's no risk of no longer being able to cast Wish.)

Hag Deal — They do know a fatestitcher Hag who likes them and limes making deals even more. Orym may be able to just extend his existing deal. What are the consequences for the deal marker as well as FCG? Would the robit feel responsible for that person's fate? How would that affect how they feel about coming back and the meaning they need to make from it.

I don't think there's a right or best option because whatever we speculate on, the actual result will be full of meaning and very poignant. I can't imagine that Bell's Hells won't try to bring him back. They've lost so much already. They couldn't bring back Eshteross or Bertrand or Will & Derrig. They couldn't live with not even trying. Maybe their method works, maybe it doesn't. But at least they tried.

And if FCG does come back, they have to live with knowing that even though they saved their friends and put an end to Otohan, they also hurt their friends by treating themselves as disposable. They forced their friends to confront that each of them might have done the same and that's deeply unhealthy. It will change the character development tremendously.

My favorite film and play genre is where the protagonist dies (or nearly dies) (usually self-inflicted) at the beginning and has to journey through purgatory to find themselves again before they can return to the living. Films like Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006) or Castaway on the Moon (김씨 표류기 2009). Death matters because it reminds you to live. The journey is finding meaning in both life and death and coming back utterly changed.

[tizeline]

Hello Tizeline. I’d like to ask you about (if it’s not too far for you in the plot you have established and if it’s not too revealing) what would be the Trios and Donnie’s reaction to their encounter with Karai and the knowledge that she is their ancestor. I imagined that Donnie might already know as he is the “only child” raised by Splinter so he might have told stories. But what would be the Trios reaction to the information of their human ancestry?

Yeah that's definitely something I still have to figure out haha. So the turtles know that they're related to Lou Jitsu, a human, but they don't exactly consider him family. So in that sense, they'd know that they technically have human ancestry , but they wouldn't feel any real connection to that ancestry. In the show it seems that ninpo and in general the connection between Hamato is more based more on relationships in the emotional sense and less on biology, considering Karai makes it very clear that April is "one of them" (the Hamato clan) despite not being related to them biologically. So with that in mind, I don't think the Drax Bros would have any mystic connection to their Hamato ancestry at first, because they don't have emotinal connection to it.

All of this is to say, by the time they'd first meet Karai (assuming I decide to follow the canon story more closely) the Drax Bros would've just started getting close to Donnie and Splinter (they decide on giving up on their conquering humanity plot after the season 1 finale). So while they've kinda started actually properly becoming part of the Hamato family at that point, they still wouldn't feel the same connection to Karai as Donnie would. He would very much be on the Gram Gram Hype Train like he is in the show, but for Raph, Leo and Mikey it would be kinda awkward I guess? Cuz, yeah sure she's their ancestor? But also literally who is she?? Does she consider them family???

This isn't set in stone yet, but I do kinda like the idea that Splinter introduces Donnie to the whole Hamato/Ninpo/etc stuff earlier in the AU than what he does in canon. Donnie would find out about Lou Jitsu being his bio dad basically immedietly from his brothers, but like in the show he wouldn't connect the dots at first that Lou Jitsu=Splinter. So basically as soon as he finds out about his secret evil family he'd run to Splinter to demand answers. "Did you know I have Long Lost Brothers?? And that they're evil?? And that they wanna kidnap me?? And that I'm related to Lou Jitsu?? Where is Lou Jitsu anyway??"

So because of that Splinter would probably just tell him his Secret Tragic Backstory way earlier. And also, because Draxum and the three Draxum Jrs might try to kidnap back the only son he has, Splinter would be a bit concerned with making sure Donnie actually has a chance to defend himself. Splinter doesn't seem to be familiar with ninpo in canon, but in the AU he's probably gonna at least know it's A Thing, he just never learned how to use it himself. Donnie'd be reluctant to learn it cuz he's all like "ew, magic, cringe", and it'd be hard if Splinter doesn't know how to use it himself so they'd have to rely on like ancient Hamato texts or something. But he would eventually start figuring it out, before he meets Karai.

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

A bit of a loaded question, I know, but do you have any TF ships you prefer and would like to share?

I need you to be aware that you're opening pandora's box here. The vibes range anywhere from "god this is hot" to "god this is cute" to "their dynamic is so fucking interesting and i want to study them under laboratory conditions" to "this hurts so much and I need the drama, I am CRYING" to smashing barbie dolls together. I have crackships you ain't even THOUGHT about. I throw ships at the wall just to see if they stick. I like a lot of ships. Arguably too damn many. So many that I'm putting this under a cut to spare people from the long post. So many that I have to sort them by continuity so you're not staring at an unorganized list longer than do you love the color of the sky.

TFA

shockbee I feel has a lot of the potential for shockwave fearing what happens when bee finds out he's not longarm. Like a lot of the scenes in auto boot camp read to me like shockwave really did want bee as an ally while he climbs the ranks, and there's some juicy potential for shocker starting out as just using him until he actually catches feelings. Especially in aus where bee really did join the elite guard. Like can you imagine the drama. The heartbreak. The trust issues. Bee realizing he never really knew the guy he could trust most. Wondering if he's even safe to be around. If anything was even real. Shockwave wondering the same things. Hhhhhhhhh.

I do enjoy shockblurr conceptually but I'm not crazy about how they're usually portrayed in the fandom bc I feel like we're all forgetting that shockwave is a ball of anxiety and murder, and Blurr is a straight laced fuckin nerd who can't shut his mouth. An overpowered, highly capable nerd, but a nerd still. I like what the artist katzske does with them a lot tho.

I'm also a blitzbee enjoyer but on a less "bee can fix him and itll be so sweet" level and more "god imagine how annoying they'd be together." Looney Tunes levels of fucking with people. Either that or bumblebee is just horny on main and really likes the thought of bagging a con, but then he goes and catches feelings.

prowlbulk owns my entire heart. They're so sweet on each other and prowl really respects and appreciates bulkhead way more than bulky's used to. And bulkhead admires so much of prowl's skill and perspective. They work so well together as a couple and it's fucking adorable. With a hint of tragedy bc. Well. You know.

Bulkbee is also incredibly cute bc I'm a sucker for besties that very slowly realize they love each other so much it makes them look stupid. Good in romantic or qpr flavors. Bee already climbs all over bulkhead like a squirrel, they're so fuckin affectionate and very very stupid in social settings.

I like Optimus and blackarachnia from a drama standpoint bc God. They are tragic. They are MESSY. I genuinely think there's no happy ending for them. The trust is gone. But they still miss each other so much and they just CANT move on, so they keep stringing each other along. They're just hurting themselves and each other every time one does anything nice for the other. It's the kinda shit that just slowly rips your heart out. OP please don't text your ex. OP pLEASE

Megop is a classic but I feel we as a fandom underutilize how much Optimus pisses off Megatron. He is an asshole cat knocking shit off the counter for attention. Megs lets him be worse when he is so so fucking tired of being good. He loves that he hates him and he hates that he loves him. Full on "my esteemed rival" "dearly detested." Fighting each other is cathartic and addictive. Megatron finds it infuriating but he can't deny how much he likes having a worthy opponent, how fitting it is that the cosmos sent him so deadly a nemesis, and yet how lame it is that he was so forgettable at first so now he feels dumb being mildly obsessed with him. Optimus is just glad he has someone who doesn't expect him to be perfect and nice and upstanding. He can vent out a lot of his less noble feelings or impulses that he's had completely repressed for ages. The pressure's off in a lot of ways. And I think in an enemies to lovers sense, watching them figure out how to make that setup and that very odd mutual desire to be in each other's lives into something healthier could be really compelling. Or tragic in a "why did I let myself need you? Why the fuck did I let myself need you?" way.

Beeprowl is funny but I only really like it in a "you annoy me SO MUCH let's make out about it" way. Nothing committed, just dispelling the tension without having to kill each other. It is just kinda nice seeing them have genuinely sweet moments though. Squidbob ass relationship.

Lugnut and Strika are the perfect Decepticon power couple and I love them so much. So very much. Lugnut loves his big terrifying wife capable of leveling cities, and she loves her sweet devoted husband who could throw her across the room. I think they break chairs over each other's heads for fun and have been trying to seduce Megatron into a threesome for ages.

Shockwave and Megatron are also incredibly good. The loyalty. The "I commit my whole existence to you. I am yours, in mind body and soul. I will go wherever you need me to, I will put myself in immeasurable danger for you, just please say I'm doing a good job" and "all my efforts would be lost without you. In a world where I have been vulnerable and terrified, where I have been stabbed in the back by people I thought I could wholly trust, I can look at you and know, unwaveringly, you won't do the same. I trust you completely." It's Delicious. It's absolutely codependent but god it's tasty.

Also honestly? Bulkhead and the constructicons could make a pretty cute throuple. He wants them to be better. They want him to be worse. He just wants them to do honest work and they want him to stop letting stuffy, elitist autobot society control him so much. They love each other, they're friends (even if the constructicons don't totally remember the first night they met him). And they really do enjoy each other's company. They're just guys being dudes. Just dudes being guys. Just guys being gays. (It's also just nice when bulkhead gets to be the smaller one, scrapper totally carries him around like a big ol' cat).

I really like prowl being torn between lockdown and jazz. They're the devil and angel on his shoulders. Lockdown tempting him into relapsing, feeling himself fall into old habits, forsaking everything he's learned about patience and respect and being conscientious of the world around him. Jazz picking him back up when he slips, making him WANT to keep being better. And prowl can't decide if he wants to be loved in spite of all his toxic traits or BECAUSE of them. It's got me in a chokehold, your honor.

Megastar is fun in tfa because 1. It's implied Megatron never actually abused starscream while they were on the same side (the first thing starscream says after waking up from being shot is "YOU DARE STRIKE ME, MEGATRON?" which reads to me like this is a new development). Megs doesn't actually hurt anyone working for him other than Sumdac, who he fucking hates (at least not on-screen), and the only reason he was as aggro to starscream post-revival was because he knew screamer is the reason he spent all that fucking time as just a severed head. He used to actually trust him, sort of, even if he was a scheming, sycophantic little weasel. And 2. It's pretty obvious they have history together. I genuinely truly believe they were exes and Starscream only planted a bomb on him because he couldn't be fucking normal about the divorce. You look at how they bitch at each other in deep space and then immediately fall into what is most likely their old dynamic of getting things done and shooting the shit and tell me they never had an intense romantic stint that went horribly wrong. Starscream calls him Meggy in his internal logs for fucks sake.

Oh also sumdac x megatron. It started as a crackship of mine but I really love the idea of sumdac feeling legitimately guilty for taking Megatron apart and unknowingly violating him the way he did, even if Megatron is terrible. Like the dynamic of "you lied to me" "if I told you who I really was, I would be dead. I don't owe you the truth when you held me captive. I was vulnerable. I was TERRIFIED. I did what I had to in order to keep myself safe. And you come to ME with accusations of doing you wrong? When YOU held all the power? And then when I'd taken back the power you left me without, made you feel what I felt, I'm a monster?" "I never meant to hurt you" "Well you did. And now you know just how much damage you did." Like it's such an interesting angle, ESPECIALLY when you consider that sumdac probably grew to legitimately care about Megatron while he was in his lab. He wanted to do right by him. He wanted to see him restored and thriving. He was his robot buddy that made a birthday gift for his kid once. Some part of him probably misses him after he's gone, some part of him probably feels guilty too, even through all the rage and hurt and fear and betrayal. That's complicated feelings!! That's juicy!!!!!

I like the thought of Shockwave and Optimus but that's mostly for sexy reasons. Something about a big, smooth talking, scary cryptid monster, very well spoken and elegant, seducing Good, Upstanding Autobot Optimus to The Dark Side. This is mostly because Optimus is a huge nerd and so is Shockwave. I think Shockwave could potentially pique his interest with uncensored versions of the history Optimus is already a huge dweeb about, and seal the deal with a few gentle touches and honeyed words. From Optimus's perspective this is Very Obviously a Honeypot Trap but the trouble is Shockwave is very hot and very sweet on him and starting to seem less and less evil so he's not sure how long he can keep his guard up when the temptation is this strong. He has a duty to fight Decepticons and shut out their lies but man. He's so tired. And Shockwave's berth is very warm. There is something satisfying about seeing him choose to be selfish after nearly a whole show of him taking the high road. (It's even better if he gets attached when eventually Shockwave's Cool Sexy Collected vibes falter and he sees how much of an anxious, panicky dork he actually is)

Ratchet x Arcee are also very very cute together. Old married dorks. Ratchet's so soft with her and he wants her to be okay. She genuinely likes him and he makes the nightmare she's subjected herself to bearable. "Don't call me sir, I work for a living!" They're both horrifically traumatized, they understand each other on a level most bots can't, and they can ground each other when it gets bad. God. You know they're slow dancing in the kitchen together. You know they're sickeningly domestic with each other. They are holding hands in the park on a comically small bench on earth right as we SPEAK.

I also just kind of like the idea of team prime being a polycule (other than ratchet, who is just watching the young bots having relationship drama and rolling his optics (the age gap and mentor role make me personally a little uncomfortable but I have nothing against people who do include him, they're all adults, its chill)). I like the thought of these losers getting home after a long day and collapsing into a cuddle pile, either on the couch or on the floor. They all love each other so much already, I think they should kiss about it, but they're super repressed so it's So Very Shy and Cautious and Sweet.

The same goes for the Decepticons but more in a "cons are pretty casual about sex anyway, they're in close proximity, and they tolerate each other at least so nearly everyone has a fuck buds setup with each other" way. I feel like the autobots are super repressed in that regard so the cons started leaning into being sluts to stick it to the mech along with all the other freaks shit they're cool with. God help Blackarachnia, she goes from Autobot repression to all her coworkers being sluts on main and she Does Not Know what to do about that (also it would make a lot of sense if that's why she started leaning into the femme fatale thing so hard)

TFP

Optiratch my beloved. Gay old men who would do anything for each other, even when they really don't agree on how to proceed. They're best friends, they're husbands, they're crushing on each other and they think it's unrequited, they just started dating, they've been married for eons. All of it works soooo well. They know each other well enough that they can communicate by just kinda grunting in specific ways. I need them to hold hands SO bad.

Megop is also Very Good here. Literally the most divorced robots to ever exist. Megatron NEEDS Optimus back and Optimus still holds a torch for megs, but it's so fucking funny because they're clearly on fundamentally different levels of "I miss you." Like Optimus is kinda sad and he does want the old Megatronus back, but Megatron does these whole fuckin elaborate stunts to get Optimus to pay attention to him again and then locks himself in his room with a pint of ice cream and dark energon to cry about him. Mans is NOT coping. Alternatively, Optimus is coping just as poorly on the inside and he really does still love Megatron just as much but he knows that's a selfish desire that he quiets with everything else he sacrifices about himself in the name of being a good leader. Least repressed Optimus.

Bulkhead and wheeljack should get to kiss on the mouth I think. If Arcee can call Wheeljack Bulkhead's boyfriend, and bulkhead does not deny it, logic dictates they should in fact French kiss sloppy style for a whole minute on live TV. It can happen. Only on the hub.

KOBD are adorable together, they are so unhinged and stupid and they love each other so much. Like the team rocket of the nemesis. Breakdown loves his husband soooo much and knockout misses him so bad when Silas gets him. And you KNOW they're freaks bc knockout is totally convinced that breakdown would've loved seeing how he torments Silas in bd's body. He's probably right about it too.

I also wholly support Ms. June Darby for trying to seduce Optimus. Me too girl, get that robo ass. Go get jack a new cooler dad. It's also very cute to imagine Optimus, the bigass 30 foot robot, the stoic leader of the Autobots who keeps stonefaced through just about anything, flustered and crushing on a very small and very flirty human.

For some reason the show was kind of trying to tease Bulkhead x Arcee for exactly one episode and then never again and like. Look. I understand it was a forced het ship that was there to distract people from how gay they accidentally made the show. I know it'd probably just be Arcee rebounding after losing Cliffjumper. But I think them having a fwb type relationship while she works through her feelings could be interesting. Though this could just be because Bulkhead is big sweet and comforting and him holding anyone and making them feel safe while they're Going Through it is enough to get me saying God I Wish That Were Me.

Bumblebee and Smokescreen appeal to me in the same way seemingly very hetero frat bros who are apparently a very sweet and affectionate gay couple do. It's an inherently funny irony and also theyre just both cute himbos.

TFP Megastar is horrifically unhealthy in general and there is absolutely no way in hell it could work out. Not pre-war, not post-megs-redemption, nada. Which is why it has my brain in a chokehold. This is one of the ships I like because it's fascinating and because god it HURTS. Like I have my gripes with how the show portrayed the abuse overall but there were some things they were cooking with. Starscream being an obvious victim but then turning around and inflicting it on everyone around him? Girl no, the cycle of violence and abuse!!!! Girl no, you're refusing to do the complex emotional work of accepting that what happened to you wasnt okay and thus you carry out the behaviors you've gaslit yourself into thinking are normal!!!!!! Girl no, society has failed you and you have no support systems to help you break the cycles, but you also simply refuse to try in the first place because your pride wouldn't allow it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cortical psychic patch was literally my fave showcase of their dynamic in the whole show. "I don't want to play this game anymore!" Like jfc ouch. Also the thought of post redemption Megatron lamenting how he treated Starscream, not having considered the damage he's done to him before now. Trying to make it right and only making it all worse by inserting himself into Starscream's life again and realizing how badly he's broken him, how fucked it is that Starscream seems to revere him after EVERYTHING. God. GOD. I'm in agony.

Speaking of starscream in the cycle of abuse, KOSS has postcanon potential. (Post Predacons Rising, rid does not exist 😌) Like. They've proven they feel some type of way about each other. "I've always admired your lustrous finish." "😏" But Knockout was the first person in starscream's life to set a boundary in a healthy way. And when starscream inevitably ignores those boundaries and knockout leaves, you know how much it fucking hurts starscream to realize how badly he fucked up. But of course, the pride. He can't apologize. Can't admit he's the reason knockout betrayed him. So he'll choke back the tears. He'll try to, anyway. But he can't stop the agony in his voice while he feebly spits out "Fine! I hope Unicron eats you too!!" You know the second they shut the door on him, the waterworks started, and so did the closest thing to self reflection Starscream's ever done. He Has the Potential to be Better with Knockout, but he NEEDS to put in the work, and the suspense of wondering if he WILL fucks my whole shit up.

Rescue Bots

It is so close to canon that blades and bumblebee are boyfriends. Hell I believe it pretty much IS canon. He loves that bug so much. He gets jealous when he hangs out with Dani and not him. He hugs him for a photo the first chance he gets. And since we know blades is confirmed as being into dudes, I think we all know what they were getting at. TFP bumblebee has an anxious twink boyfriend that lives in Maine and we have no idea whatsoever if the rest of team prime knows.

Graham and boulder pine for each other like you would not believe. Once again, pretty much canon. You can't just have boulder keep telling Graham "well I like you just how you are" when Graham's trying to impress a girl and expect me to not think he has a big stupid gay crush on his best friend. They love each other so much as partners and as friends, I know damn well they'd be SICKENINGLY cute together as boyfriends. They'd probably try to stealth it at first bc a human and a giant robot alien in love? What'll the others think?? Gotta keep it secret. Sneaking off into the woods so Boulder can work on his "art projects" but in fact they are kissing. They're not as slick as they think they are, Chief Burns 100% picks up what's going on but he lets them think they're sneaky. Nobody actually has any problems with it other than Kade making fun of them a little but don't worry that's just him projecting.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Heatwave and Kade are the worst fucking tsunderes about crushing on each other. Between heatwave refusing to let down the brooding tough guy persona and kade being so insistent on staying hyper masculine (to the point where mild internalized homophobia is inevitable), neither of them can just be honest about how much they mean to each other and they gotta resort to getting each other's attention by being mean in very low stakes ways. I am drowning, there is no sign of land, you are coming down with me, hand in unloveable hand, except they're not drowning and they're just dunking each other in a kiddie pool repeatedly.

Heatwave and quickshadow are fun for similar reasons but with less shit lord pranks and/or lowbrow bitching, and more classy verbal sniping and sparring with each other because heatwave thinks it's hot when quickshadow kicks his ass. They're insufferably competitive and I think that could be very fun and incredibly messy, especially since they both need to learn how to communicate. Very bisexual, they are forced to share the brain cell, 10/10

I also just enjoy the idea of all the bots being in a polycule the same way I like the idea for TFA's team prime. They're very sweet together and they clearly care about each other a lot. Its just kind of nice when they all hold hands together, you feel me? They're sneaking off to kiss in the bunker bc they don't know if the humans know dudes can like other dudes. They are also not as subtle as they think they are.

Oh also doc Greene and chief burns dated once when they were teenagers and it didn't work out but they stayed besties, nobody can change my mind on this.

Beast Wars

Dinobot and Megatron are exes, 100%. Dinobot is probably the only being in the known universe that Megatron actually kind of cares about other than himself and his rubber duck. Otherwise he wouldn't keep trying to fucking clone him to make a version that will never leave him. There's also some implications here and there that Megatron really did want the world to be better for Predacons (along with the desire for power, anyway) and that preds are genuinely treated unfairly, so there's a pretty compelling angle of dinobot having been drawn to megatron because he saw someone with noble goals and a way to fix their fucked up world before becoming disillusioned with the dishonorable tyrant he turned out to be.

Dinobot and Optimus are also very good together bc it really truly feels like Dinobot finally found the guy with honor he thought he saw in Megatron. And he's infuriating half the time because he isn't nearly as bloodthirsty as he's used to, but GODDAMN does he make him Feel Things. The entire episode Gorilla Warfare has me obsessed with them. The bitching. Dinobot freaking the fuck out and Optimus tenderly removing the seed pod stuck to the back of his neck that was freaking him out and only laughing at him a little. Dinobot constantly trying to choose violence. The stupid smile when Optimus also chooses violence and Dinobot realizes he fucked up. THE BEDSIDE VIGIL. "It was my shift" AND YOU KNOW THEY WEREN'T TAKING SHIFTS. THE FLOWER ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE. "it is good to have you back." "Back home or back to normal?" "...both." THEY'RE HOMOSEXUAL, YOUR HONOR.

Dinobot (shit maybe I just really like dinobot) with Rattrap is good for similar reasons but the vibes are totally different. DoOp is all soft and sweet and patient and light ribbing, Dinotrap is talking shit at each other as a love language. Dinobot is a good guy but he's also, fundamentally, a bitch. Rattrap has proven he can match his freak by bitching right back. They love each other by pretending to hate each other. To the point where if Rattrap doesn't hear any comebacks he genuinely starts worrying because "oh, we aren't playing the game, why aren't you playing, are you okay?" They have so many soft tender moments where they prove they actually love each other. Their last conversation is talking shit!!!! "You're just a slag spouting saurian, but it's nice to know where you stand." "Upwind of you for preference, rodent." They loved each other!!!!!! Rattrap is fucked up over losing him!!!!!!!!!!! It's bittersweet, it's tragic, it hurts so bad and I love them so much!!!! They're stupid your honor!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a much sillier side, I do love Rattrap x Rhinox. Rattrap kissed that man twice. On the mouth. On screen. Annoying little gremlin who goes "nyehhhh" x big stoic dude who goes "hn." And they're both tech guys so they probably work on projects together a lot. And they all survive and are fine bc beast machines isnt real 💖

I have my problems with Silverbolt in general but I cannot deny that he and Blackarachnia are pretty damn cute together. He loves his girlfriend, they trash her shitty ex together, she loves that he doesn't try to change her. She gets to be the bad girl and the sweet knight in shining armor still loves her. "Dark poison of my heart" like c'mon.

Airazor and Tigatron are also pretty cute AND they have the honor of being the first canon gay couple in the tf franchise bc of the Japanese dub, which made Airazor a dude but left the romance unchanged (the Japanese dub was also just generally fuckin insane tho so it's not all that shocking).

Waspinator and Terrorsaur are boyfriends for real and for canon, John hasbro told me himself.

RiD 2001

I ship skybyte with that one girl that lives in a state of constant talking-car-based torment. Why? Because when I watched rid with my roommate we had a running joke that eventually they'd meet and have a whole robotfucker romcom arc and it kinda just stuck. This is my only rid ship and I will not be taking criticism on it.

Cyberverse

Bumblebee, Hot Rod and Cheetor are in a polycule together and nobody can tell me they aren't. Just how it's gotta be.

I want Perceptor and Dead End to kiss so badly. They're technically canon already given how hard the creators ship them. They hold hands your honor. "only a bolthead would go out there... UGH I'm such a BOLTHEAD" HES IN LOVE YOUR HONOR.

Hot Rod and Soundwave are great as enemies to lovers, they're so annoying 💖. I feel like they'd start playing gay chicken and be married with three kids wondering when the other guy is gonna back out.

SHOCKWAVE AND WHEELJACK OH MY GOD. fellas is it gay to program your drones which are just tiny versions of your own altmode to dance funny to Tetris music specifically because it makes your lame ass boyfriend laugh and then keep that function eons after you break up and still remember exactly what the command is? Fellas is it gay to get kidnapped by your ex and then get really excited about all the cool shit he's been making while you were separated? I wish they could've gotten a happy ending man, they could've been so cute together.

I don't ship it romantically but I believe in Grimlock & Arcee qpr. They love each other so so much they would've readily died for each other. I love their dynamic, they're insane 💖

Same goes for Shadowstriker and Soundwave tbh. Decepticon besties, and Shadowstriker being aro kinda just feels right. I like to think they cuddle and talk shit about Shockwave while Sounders blasts heavy metal. They play cod as the most insufferable duo.

Megop in cyberverse is so good because it really feels like they Had a relationship but it was unstable and moved too fast and they just assumed they were on the same page about things without communicating properly until suddenly they were in serious disagreement, and TRIED to work it out in a mature way but they were simply Doomed From the Start. And then it culminates in a whole fucking war but it rages so long, and they are so tired of fighting, and they realize they want to try again because nobody was really to blame for how things ended because they both handled it poorly. I wish they got that chance to try again properly. I wish when Optimus retired to just fuck around and vibe, he could've taken Megatron with him. I wish they could've fallen in love all over again.

Oh also Slipstream and Windblade being lesbian enemies to lovers bait was Fucking Phenomenal and I Love it So Much. They're smug and terrible and I want them to make out. They can make each other worse 💖

G1

I have not seen that much of g1 but I do know a few things are absolute truth.

Soundwave is gay for Megatron. This is arguably reciprocated.

Shockwave is gay for Megatron. This is not reciprocated but it is taken advantage of.

Starscream vacillates between gay for Megatron and trying to kill him. Megatron seems to reciprocate but only a little bit. Enough to keep him alive because he's cute. But megs also gets a lot of cuteness aggression so he feels the need to chuck starscream against the wall every now and then.

Powerglide and Astoria are tied for the pinnacle of robot on human romance in the entire tf franchise with Tracks and Raul, and if none of them come back in ANY tf media, I will riot.

Cliffjumper and Mirage have fucked at least once.

Wheeljack and Ratchet are gay married.

Optimus is bisexual and he loves elita-1 but there is something distinctly homoerotic going on with Megatron.

Conclusion

I like when the robots kiss <3

[deadboy-edwin]

I have this idea for payneland:

Both of them get hit with some kind of spell of sorts that makes them "human" for 24 hours (basically like when they were alive: people can see them, hear them, touch them, they can taste and feel things again, the works)

What do you think they'd do in that time? Maybe taste their fav foods again?

So please bear with me as this will be more of brainrot than an actual fic because I just want to yap- but in my head, it would be kinda funny if the gang was able to get Tragic Mick to turn back into a walrus. The goddess Sedna would then "punish" the boys for daring to defy her- since she had said that Mick would never return to the sea if he chose to leave.

I feel like Sedna would lowkey have a soft spot for abused children, and would also see Mick's love for the sea, and on the inside not really be that mad tbh. Hence the "punishment". She'd "curse" Edwin and Charles to be alive once more.

They don't really know if it's permanent or whatever, but can you imagine the hilarity of Edwin being so used to phasing through walls and doors, then him just walking straight into a door and smacking into it because he's solid- Crystal would have a field day ribbing him for it.

I think, them being human would make them quite unable to take on cases, since admittedly them being regular humans (not everyone can be Crystal Palace Surname Von Hoverkraft okay) makes them vulnerable to beings like demons. So they'd have some downtime. That gives Charles time to think.

Being fully corporeal also allows Crystal to hang out with them like she would with living people. It also allows Crystal to notice things about them that would not have been possible when they were ghosts- like Charles blushing when Edwin adjusts his collar so it's up. Or how the two boys are so tactile. Sure, they'd always been tactile, but why does it seem Charles is extra touchy, now that both boys can feel physical touch?

I think Edwin, bitchy little nerd that he is (and we love him for it) would have a field day with Google. He'd struggle with whatever the fuck a laptop is, and how LED screens strain his poor eyes, and probs get those anti-blue light glasses, and Charles would have a bisexual awakening because Edwin in glasses???

Charles, on the other hand. I feel like boy would want to party. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would be fun at parties, and he'd probably drag the gang to a nightclub after spending the entire day eating different kinds of food (I think he'd enjoy cookie dough ice cream- but that's just me projecting my own cravings).

At the club, Charles might be a bit sulky because Edwin had spent a lot of the day on Crystal's laptop, despite them switching restaurants so that they could try everything- and he's thankful that the laptop is not present at the club.

Unfortunately, Edwin is Edwin, and his brand of anti-rizz also works on the living. You have living people coming up to him left and right, and Charles wonders why this hasn't happened much in death.

Crystal is fast to point out that it's because ghosts are invisible to regular humans. Edwin is not a ghost at the moment, so he's not invisible. She also makes it a point to tell Charles about exactly how many people had simped for Edwin in the afterlife (Monty, the Cat King, hello????)

I think Charles would then get drunk. One, because he's been a ghost for some thirty-odd years. Dude has no fucking clue what his alcohol tolerance levels are. Two, because he gets annoyed that Edwin is getting hit on so much.

There is a third reason that comes to mind once he's fully inebriated, and it's the fact that the following thoughts aren't exactly heterosexual

Getting pouty when your best mate isn't paying attention to you while you are having a meal together

Staring and practically drooling when your best mate is wearing glasses

Getting upset when guys and girls (despite Edwin's lack of interest in the latter) keep flirting with Edwin

Wanting to feel Edwin's touch while he has all his senses at full blast

The plot twist here is that since Edwin is also alive and fully corporeal, our repressed Edwardian boy has actually been icing Charles out because as a human, he does not have the luxury of willing erections away.

I think though, because it seems like immortal beings in the DBDA universe have a sense of humor (hi, Cat King and Esther- wicked as her sense of humor is), when Charles finally makes a move and pulls Edwin away from the admittedly gorgeous guy that had been chatting him up with a "He's in love with me, and vice versa, I'm afraid" and kissing Edwin in the middle of the dance floor, is when they turn back into ghosts.

Even though they're now invisible to most humans once more, Edwin is still quick to berate Charles on the PDA- though there's a softness to his berating.

They end up discovering that as ghosts, they can still feel physical sensations if there's enough emotion involved.

That is a fortunate discovery for all parties involved, especially for our girl Crystal Palace Surname Von Hoverkraft, who walks into the office a few days after the club debacle, and sees Edwin pressing Charles up against a bookcase, snogging him with a fervor, his thigh working its way in between Charles' legs---

"Hot," Crystal comments with a smirk, causing the two boys to jump apart with matching sheepish grins on their faces. "If I'd known Edwin kissed like that, I would've gotten it on with him instead."

[theoceanoasis]

Rodimus who often uses sign to communicate to his little brother bee who is mute and his own Carrier ( Optimus is Bee’s carrier ) Perceptor who is partially deaf.

He signs so often he forgets to talk and thats why Soundwave didn’t know Rodimus could talk

With the war going on their numbers had gotten worryingly low to the point Megatron and Optimus decided to end the war. If they didn't stop their species would go extinct.

With the peace treaty signed people were being encouraged to sign up for the matchmaker. It was a lot like human dating sights. Where you'd match people and if you were interested in them you'd start talking to them.

He'd just started the sign in process wanting to do his part. When he heard a group of Autobots and Decepticons near him talking loudly about the matchmaker.

They'd already signed up for it and were now swiping on different people. One of them had come across Rodimus and immediately showed the others making disparaging comments about him.

Since most injuries and sicknesses could be healed. People looked down on those who couldn't be healed. They were oftentimes seen as damaged and some people think they should die because they were considered useless.

It wasn't true at all and Rodimus was far from useless. But that didn't stop them from making noises of disgust.

"Imagine having to constantly sign for him."

"I know. It would be so annoying having to constantly deal with him all because he can't speak. It's so pathetic."

"I don't know why they're allowing him to sign up. Cyberton doesn't need anymore broken bots. Those with disabilities shouldn't be allowed to have sparklings."

His engine reved and he glared at the people who were talking about Rodimus. They all jumped out of their seats and quickly ran away in fear.

He vowed to punish them later as he finished signing in. Part of him had been hoping Rodimus would sign up for the matchmaker.

If he was going to mate with anyone he wanted it to be Rodimus. His resilience and bravery had always attracted his attention ever since they first met. When Rodimus had been forced to destroy his home. It had been tragic but Rodimus had inspired him to work harder in the hopes that no one had to suffer what he did.

Even though Rodimus had lost everything that day he never gave up and continued fighting for what he believed in.

He'd learn Cybertronian sign language just for Rodimus wanting to have conversations with him. Throughout the war he'd watched him in secret sometimes stopping Decepticons from offlining him.

Even though they were on different sides he respected Rodimus a lot and after he saved one of his cassetticons, he'd found himself falling in love with him.

Even though he knew sign language he never had the chance to speak with him. Sometimes because he was too nervous or other times because something else came up.

After scrolling through the matchmaker for a little while he found Rodimus account and sent him a message.

It wasn't long before he got a response and the two began talking all the time. Even though they knew who it was. Talking behind a screen felt so much easier and he was learning so much. Rodimus was so much more than he could have imagined and he found himself looking forward to seeing him in person.

They ended up meeting up at Maccadams and he was about to sign hello when Rodimus spoke. He stared at him in surprise and wondered if something was wrong with his audials when Rodimus spoke again.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded trying not to stare at him in shock.

"I didn't know you could speak "

Rodimus blushed when he realized what he was talking about.

"Oh... I'm so used to signing sometimes I forget to speak."

"You have a wonderful voice."

"Thanks."

Rodimus then gave him a confused look.

"If you thought I couldn't speak. Why did you agree to this date?"

This time it was his turn to look embarrassed as he sheepishly admitted to learning sign language so he could speak to him.

Rodimus looked at him in shock and looked about ready to cry. Panicking he tried to reassure him not sure what he was supposed to say.

"That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I can't believe you learned sign language because you thought I couldn't speak."

He shrugged feeling embarrassed.

"Well you're pretty special and I wanted to get to know you."

Rodimus beamed and the two of them went inside where they continued their date which was a big success. The two of them continued going on dates for a while until they were ready to make it official and it wasn't long before the two of them were bonded with a sparkling on the way.

[raiseyourbarkid]

when i first started watching 9-1-1, i was so excited to join the fandom.

s3 had just finished airing, so there was already plenty of fan content available, and i hurried over to ao3 and started reading the fics with the most kudos.

one of the very first ones i read involved Hen reaming Buck out for rescuing someone who didn't have a chance of surviving afterward. it felt oddly familiar, and then i realized—they basically copied the speech Gerrard gave in Hen Begins when she saved that woman in a landslide. they took the abuse that Hen endured because she was black woman, and gave it to Buck. took the words out of a racist misogynist's mouth and put them in Hen's, made her the abuser, just so Buck could be the victim.

that was one of the most popular fics at the time. that was my introduction to the 9-1-1 fandom. and unfortunately, it set a precedent for what to expect from it.

one of the next fics i read involved Buck's relationship with his father. this was before Buck Begins aired and we learned what his actual backstory was, so people liked to invent tragic backstories for him. nothing wrong with that in itself. except as i read this fic (another of the most-kudos'd at the time), i started to realize—they hadn't invented a backstory for Buck. they'd just stolen Chimney's and given it to him. because apparently the story was more tragic or meaningful if it happened to Buck instead of the asian man. (and as i recall, Chimney was made out to be a real jerk in that fic, too.)

and so it continued.

after that introduction, i always stayed on the fringes of the fandom. i still read some fic—obviously, not everyone was like that, and there were a lot of really good fanworks! but i didn't really engage beyond that. as i read more fic, another pattern was emerging: the fandom's treatment of women.

9-1-1 is far from the only fandom to have this problem. in several fandoms with popular mlm pairings, there is a lot of mistreatment of female characters, especially ones who are viewed as a "threat" to the pairing. but the way people reacted to these characters—namely, Abby, Taylor, and Ana—was somehow astounding to me. obviously none of them were perfect people—what character is?—but i couldn't imagine anything they'd done warranting the reaction i saw from fans. i had liked them as characters for the most part! i didn't see those romantic relationships working out in the long term, but i didn't see that as a reason to hate them, much less reach the levels of loathing the fandom seemed to. you'd think these women were cartoon villains, the way fandom portrayed them.

honestly, it had been YEARS since i'd seen a fandom with such bad misogyny, if ever. and somehow, i was surprised again. i'd foolishly believed that fans had been getting better about that kind of thing, about hating women over a ship. so many other fandoms managed to be kind to the women involved with the men they shipped, why was it so hard for this particular fandom?

and now all this.

Buck's finally in a queer relationship, but it's not the one people wanted, so the response is to be hateful and homophobic towards the other character involved? in what world does that make sense? how do people rationalize that to themselves?

i'm just exhausted. i'm realizing now that this fandom has never felt like a safe space and maybe never will.

in over 20 years of being in fandoms, i have NEVER been in one that was so determined to be hateful. and over a show that's predominantly about love and the power of human connections? it's downright baffling.

[another-goblin]

Meeting the family

Just some Raturine ideas (it could have been a fic if I could write) Part 1. Aventurine takes Ratio with him to Sigonia-IV (a bit sad). Part 2. Ratio retaliates (less sad).

Part 1. On Penacony, Aventurine was forced to confront his tragic past in a rather abrupt and traumatic way. He now feels that, to make some semblance of peace with it, he has to revisit Sigonia-IV after all these years and face it on his terms. The problem is, he's not sure he'll ever be strong enough to do it alone.

Luckily, there is Ratio. Probably. They have been in a weird sort of relationship for months now. They clearly enjoy spending time together, but they'd rather die than talk about their true feelings. Both are stumped by overanalyzing this situation. For Ratio it's "Yes, he's being playful and charming with me, but I saw him act the same way with other people, he's probably just toying with me, I shouldn't embarrass myself by showing my true feelings." And for Aventurine: "Does he care for me in a special way, or is it just a part of his "I'll keep the damn gambler safe and emotionally stable because I'm a decent person" routine, am I a burden to him, is he deliberately being emotianally distant with me or is it just how he normally is?, I know that I'll never be able to tell him how I actually feel because he won't believe me, he'll think that I mock him, it'll just drive him away."

So, as a last resort gamble, he tells Ratio, in the most nonchalant way possible, that he's going to visit Sigonia, and Ratio can go with him if he wants. He fully expects to hear an indifferent "Why are you telling me this, why would you expect me to go with you?". Instead, Ratio is in shock.

He did do some research on Aventurine's past. So he realizes immediately how important this trip should be for Aventurine, and how real and vulnerable he's being right now, and what that offer means for their relationship. It's much more revealing than any confession Aventurine might have made. He realizes that it's also Aventurine's subtle, desperate test for Ratio's true feelings. So he doesn't even bother to say yes, he goes directly to planning.

They finally end up going to Sigonia. Imagine the most tragic road trip ever. "In this valley, most of my people were brutally massacred." "Behind that rock my mother died in my arms,"  "And that's where I said goodbye to my sister forever,"  "This is where I've been cought", "Over there are the ruins of the town where they sold me into slavery." Meanwhile, Ratio is quietly panicking: ("Veritas, you stupidest person ever, say something reassuring. Hold his hand. Do something")

At the end of the day, he would end up awkwardly putting his hand around Aventurine's shoulders. They'd just silently sit like this looking at the sunset.

(at first it ended here but then I decided to lighten the mood, so…)

Part 2. After that, Ratio would realize that it's time for Aventurine to meet his parents. He would introduce Aventurine as a "collegue", to his amusement. As far as I know, there is no info on Ratio's family, so the following is pure HC. I like to think that his parents are alive and well. They are weird and quirky, and they love their son in their way, and they are beyond happy that their son has finally found a "colleague".

Cue all the most cheesy and stereotypical "meeting the parents" tropes. Them immediately referring to Aven as Ratio's boyfriend (you are not fooling anybody, doc). Them being a bit skeptical of Aven first ("Our little Veri deserves only the best"). Followed by the obligatory nine circles of humiliation hell for poor Ratio, with all the child photos and embarassing stories ("Here he's 5, he's dressed up as Nuos for the Autumn Spirit Festival", "And here is him getting his first quantum nanoscope for his 9th birthday (a photograph of an awkward lanky child with thick glasses and brackets)", "Veritas, dear, remember that time when you got accepted into all these prestigious schools you applied to and cried all night because you couldn't decide which one to choose"). Them besieging poor Aventurine with all kinds of questions about himself (he'd end up sharing much more about himself than he intended to). The parents getting absolutely charmed by Aven and immediately taking him under their wing ("Feel free to call us whenever Veritas decides to be difficult", "Visit us anytime, you can come alone, we know that our son apparently has more important things to do than visiting his poor old parents")

("Oh and here are socks Grandma knitted for you both when she heard that you were about to visit")

Meanwhile, aventurine.exe has stopped working 5 minutes after meeting them, not fully able to comprehend what's going on (these weird people are so unlike his own parents, yet being with them feels so painfully familiar, and this long forgotten feeling of being a part of something big, safe, and accomodating, is it what having a family feels like?, why are they so warm and welcoming to somebody they just met, and why is Ratio so comically embarassed, shouldn't he be the happiest person ever with parents like that?)

[jayktoralldaylong]

Thinking again about Lang Qianqiu's and Xie Lian's relationship because it is under-discussed (especially with the new Donghua episodes).

Watching the Donghua after reading the book is like re-reading the book and then you see all these fresh new things that you overlooked before. Things that were misinterpreted because of circumstance but now hit with a whole new meaning!

First of all, how proud Xie Lian is of Lang Qianqiu when he's first introduced.

TGCF BOOK SPOILERS.

It's clear that Jun Wu introduced them just for the stake of stirring the pot with their past, but Xie Lian held no animosity or hate towards Lang Qianqiu, prince of the enemy kingdom. If anything, he was so very fond of the boy that reminded him of his younger self. They have a student/teacher relationship but I see them sometimes as child and parent because of how proud Xie Lian is and how far he goes sometimes to protect Lang Qianqiu. In the book he said a line that summarised could basically mean that he'd take all the blame, punishment and pain, he would endure any suffering if it meant that Lang Qianqiu could keep living innocently and pure, believing in good people and kindness. More than anything, Xie Lian wanted to protect that boy's heart.

Poor Lang Qianqiu who he'd raised to believe in kindness and peaceful coexistence, who had come in late for his birthday party which was the only reason he hadn't ended up dead. He'd just been a little late. He was excited, looking forward to seeing his father and mother. A young lad of seventeen. I bet Xie Lian was also looking forward to Qianqiu's birthday, might have even prepared a gift for him. Yet what happened? He discovered a terrible plot much too late, everyone had already been killed. Foolish people who lived in the present and believed that Xianle would rather die than dine with their enemy. The poor people didn't want that, the people dependent on Yong An's kindness and generosity would surely perish. Yong'An's mercy was the closest Xie Lian had come of saving the people of Xianle since his fall. For the people he'd failed to protect, he just wanted them to have a safe house with the kindest prince of all ruling over them.

Those selfish rebels wanted to start what would have been a terrible civil was that would have ended tragically for all the people of Xianle, they would have been stamped out like ants until they were no more. To make things worse, just as Xianle had chased away the last of the rebels, he discovered that the King was still alive. The dying King of Yong'An had just one request. He wanted the people of Xianle to pay. In that moment, what decision could the prince of a failed nation possibly do? The King wanted revenge, one couldn't fault him of that, but innocent people would suffer. The rebels were a small group, they'd taken decisions on their own. The King wouldn't care about that, people would die, children would die. To crown it all, just after Xie Lian had made a decision. Just after he'd sunk his sword into the King to silence his vengeance....who would walk in but the student he was proud of the most, seventeen year old Lang Qianqiu who'd finally made it to his birthday party.

The whole thing....was a mess.

That poor child. Imagine seeing the person you admire the most yanking their weapon from the lifeless body of your parent, and surrounding him are all of your relatives and nobles of the kingdom covered in blood. Of course such a thing is traumatising. Of course he buried Xie Lian in a hole. When a person feels that much pain, their only desire is to make the one who hurt them understand how much it hurt.

Of course Xie Lian took the blame. A a nameless and faceless Guoshi, they wouldn't be able to connect him with the people of Xianle. The people would be free of blame, and he would suffer alone. Lang Qianqiu would just have to do with his pain and his pain alone.

The way Xie Lian looks upset when Lang Qianqiu gets hurt. The way he'd rather lie over and over again, than let Lang Qianqiu believe that he was wrong for being kind.

Xie Lian remembers what it was like to be like Lang Qianqiu. He also knows how trauma twisted him into a monster that he's regretted for all of his years. He couldn't bear to imagine Lang Qianqiu going through the same. For as long as he can help it, he will mindlessly shield the boy from the ugliness of politics.....because Xie Lian loves him so much. (⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)

That's basically his son. He's so proud of him.

I love what Xie Lian said to Lang Qianqiu, I'll love it round the world and back. I can't quote it but basically "You're not the one who did wrong, the people of Xianle are not wrong too, the wrong people are the evil doers. It is not your fault that wicked people took advantage of your kindness. You're not to blame....for being kind."

Felt like he was talking to himself for real. (⁠T⁠T⁠)

[my-pjo-stuff]

Hey so I just came up with this new au in my head.

So basically what happens is that for whatever reason the other Olympians who have demigod children, that being Ares, Demeter, Athena, Apollo, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, and Hermes all somehow managed to piss off Zeus so much that he decides to send them to live and camp with their children. Just like Dionysus.

(or he was already mad at them for something and Hera put the idea in his head. Since she likes none of them.)

So one early morning Chiron calls all the camp counselors into the big house to inform them of this. Needless to say none of them are happy.

Especially not Luke who is the de facto parent of these kids.

At first all the gods kindness stay in the big house complaining about their situation to Dionysus. But they soon tired of that, so they actually turned their attention to their children.... For entertainment.

Ares keeps starting fights between the campers. Apollo forces of them to listen to his poems & concerts, even though it's already midnight. Hephaestus criticizes and disproves of any of the metal work being done especially if it's done by his own children. Aphrodite keeps causing drama with crushes that the campers have, especially of her own children for her own entertainment. Athena criticizes every little thing that they do, ect, ect.

This makes Luke livid especially when he sees poor annabeth crying because of how many times Athena has criticized her or disproved her on the smallest things.

He also hates Hermes as he spends his time either ignoring his kids existence or telling them to steal something from one of the other gods in order to get his favor, which given the other gods tempers, it doesn't end well. Hermes also only talks to Luke occasionally trying to pretend like he isn't a horrible father. He even tries to bring up May but Luke shuts him down almost immediately.

The misery doesn't last long thankfully as for whatever reason Zeus decided his family hadn't been punished enough, and turns them into children. Children who are younger than their camp counselors of their cabin.... You can see where I'm going with this.

Some like Charlie or Katie simply ignore Hephaestus and Demeter's existence for the most part.

Clarisse is actually too scared to do anything to her father at first, for fear of the consequences later.

But Luke, Lee, Owen (the camp counselor before annabeth I made up in my head after reading some other fanfiction), & Seilena, immediately start bullying their parents as much as possible, in a passive aggressive way.

OK SO FIRST OF ALL, I LOVE THIS.

AND IT ALSO GAVE ME THOUGHTS OF A SEPARATE AU. But first off, holy heck so many more demigods would join Luke in this AU like???? Imagine all the kids meeting their parents and realizing what sort of assholes they are. Luke's "fall" to Kronos gets sped up SO MUCH????? At the end of TLT half the camp just dips all together at once, INCLUDING Annabeth who dragged Percy along. Ngl Hermes will have the worst time, especially with how crowded cabin eleven is. Luke needing to steal supplies for Percy in TLT means the campers don't get them as handouts. So Hermes better be good at locating them yourself! Aww did Aphrodite lose something? Sorry, no one saw it. Sorry you can't borrow it either- I just it too! Camp just slowly realizing how shitty their parents are- honestly wouldn't be surprised if, depending on how long they'll stay like that, end up tragically dead during Capture the Flag. Who needs dessert anyway, right Luke?

BUT ALSO IMAGINE THIS AU BUT THE GODS HAVING AMNESIA.

Like- Zeus decides leaving them with their memories would only cause issues since they'd obviously want to get back to godhood. And to him that would just be a lot of trouble, so instead he just erases their memories completely and throws them into camp. Let them rot there for a while, enjoy mortal life a bit.

Since they have no idea who they are, or what even their names are when they get to Camp they are obviously brought to the big house. Dionysus knows that those are the gods turned mortal, unfortunately though he's not allowed to reveal anything by order of Zeus. Not that he really would have, this is just too good.

With no knowledge of who these kids are, Chiron sees himself forced to improvise and calls up Luke and Owen to take them to cabin eleven until they are claimed. Luke is also the one who gives them names until they figure out their identities. Despite the arrival of 7 (apparent) demigods with 0 memory ofcourse caused a ruckus. But since no one knows that they are gods stuff settles down a bit after a while, they assume it was some freak accident or a monster attack. Meanwhile Luke and Owen are having their hands full taking care of these 7 kids. At this point Luke's already the unofficial official successor for counselor after Owen so he's reasonably involved.

Sleeping arrangements, getting them supplies, activities- it all needs to be organized for them and they need to be shown the robes. Since no one knows that they are actual gods they get treated like any other normal camper. And since there are no gods to claim them (SINCE THEY ARE THOSE GODS) they stay in eleven for practically their entire stay in CHB. Imagine them bonding with the other unclaimed kids over being "unimportant" to their parents. Imagine Luke comforting them about how shitty "the gods" are. Athena getting to bond with Annabeth over battle strategy. Ares getting to be beaten up by Clarisse during Capture the Flag. Demeter getting to plant with Katie. Apollo getting to go to archery classes with Chiron. And so on and so forth.

And they end up fully integrated into camp at some point! They live and think like any other demigod and everyone treats them like that. Luke looks after them, they have friends from other cabins and they sing along at the campfire.

They play games and train and angst over their "neglectful godly parent" and "amnesia". Everything seems to be going well, they are happy. The people around them are happy. The gods are happy. And then Zeus decides the punishment is enough, gives the gods their powers back and just fucks everything up. Because that does not go well. Zeus being Zeus didn't really check of course what they were doing before deciding to end the punishment or deigned to think about hos stressful it most be to not only suddenly become a got, but also get millennia of memories back in an instant. The gods were at the sing-along having a good time. Apollo was jamming out with the Apollo cabin leading the song. Hermes was reading to drop a water balloon as a prank on Aphrodite together with the Stolls. Heaphestus was happily basking in the warmth.

The fact that no true form of the gods was shown was dumb luck. One minute everything is fine, the next they are on the ground screaming as their divinity and memories are pressed into bodies too small to fit them- being stretched and forced to become what they once were. Everyone is scarred, kids are crying, and the Stolls ran to hide behind Luke when Hermes goes down alongside Annabeth clutching his leg. Zeus wanted them with him, so they were pretty much immediately ported to Olympus as soon as they were gods again. And FUCK is shit different now, 'cause now they are attached. Yes, they remember who they are now, but the memories of camp weren't erased! They spent years there. Years of living and laughing with their children. Years of being one of them.

And stuff is just so weird now like?????? All the anger with Zeus aside- they just, can't really view them as their "kids" now???? They feel more like- equals to them now. As weird as it is. Playmates, friends. Hell they just spent years with LUKE as their main caretaker! He was a better "Dad" than Zeus ever was! They still feel like they gotta listen to him 'cause he's counselor! Someone get Hermes some therapy for that mental dissonance of seeing his son as a parental figure.

Also, someone get them help for all the guilt. Because holy SHIT do they regret everything now. All the neglect, all the hurt, all the abuse. Because the gods get it now. They understand what it is like to be a child of them and live in the system they created. They understand what being a demigod means. They're sorry.

They want to be better.

And it isn't easy- god it couldn't be easy, but they somehow, someway get Zeus to allow them to visit camp freely. To support their kids.

And the gods swear to do better on the Styx, are excited to finally be real parents even.

Only to find camp terrified of them when they appear. The same kids treating them like friends and siblings cower, hide behind older kids and avoid their gaze when looking at them. Because they are gods. And they are cruel. Their children know that better than anyone.

[aha-chuu]

I have this image in my mind of Wriothesley's trial and it goes like this:

So Wriothesley is like,,, 16. He's fresh out of the hospital and still bandaged up. He's only got one eye uncovered, the other blocked by gauze. He's a little street urchin at this point, alongside just being injured beyond belief, so he's not looking Great™.

And of course, no one even knows enough about him to fact check the name he gave the nurse.

It's not an exciting case and the trial is held first thing in the morning, right after Wriothesley was discharged from the hospital. There's not much of an audience and, of the people who are present, they're tired and grumpy and bored.

Neuvillette lists out the charges: two counts of murder, breaking and entering. He says that Wriothesley was found unconscious in critical condition at the scene of the crime, and the Gardes thought he was another victim at first. While Wriothesley was in hospital, they investigated and proved otherwise. The crowd makes a murmer of noise - if only they'd realised Wriothesley was the murderer right then; there'd be no need to have wasted resources saving his life.

Of course Neuvillette calls for order. Wriothesley is representing himself by his own choice,, how does he plead?

Guilty. Guilty on all counts.

And that's boring. Furina leaves immediately, and most of the small audience follows her in the next few minutes. The ones who stay only stay because they think they'll move onto the next trial quickly, and they hope it will be a more interesting one.

But Neuvillette must finish this one first - he asks Wriothesley for his version of events, which he provides clearly and concisely. How he'd attacked first and then one of the victims drew a knife. He expresses no remorse, but says that he accepts whatever sentence Neuvillette believes is just.

The details don't quite add up. Wriothesley never provided his motive, and the evidence shows that there was no attempt to rob the victims' house. It seems Wriothesley just had some psychopathic urge one day to break into a couple's home and kill them where they stood.

Neuvillette asks after his history; he's some homeless teenager. Well, where are his parents? Dead or gone. Left before Wriothesley could ever know them.

The audience gets a little more sympathetic. They invent this imagine in their minds of Wriothesley's tragic life, leading him to eventually snap and kill in cold blood.

So Neuvillette continues questioning, even though the case is pretty much open and shut. Has Wriothesley been on the streets his entire life? For the last few years. Where was he before that? Foster home. Did he know the victims beforehand? Yes.

And then the motive becomes clear, and Neuvillette asks him to share more. Wriothesley is still young, of course, and desperate. There could be reason to lighten the sentencing. Wriothesley maintains that he should be tried as an adult who fully understood the crime he was committing.

(and it's strange, the audience notices, that Neuvillette is acting more as Wriothesley's Defence than he is as his prosecutor. But Wriothesley himself is more interested in the latter).

Once Wriothesley has explained what his victims put him through, and laid out his reasoning for all to see, the mood shifts. The tiny audience argues among themselves; should this kid be tried at all? It was a vengeful murder, but could it be called self defense? Surely he's not deserving of the full sentence, not after everything that happened to him?

Wriothesley and Neuvillette are both silent for most of the trial, observing the crowd argue among themselves. But no one is really entertained - there's no exciting twists or raucous accusations being thrown around in this case. It's just a sad teenager and his sad life and there's too much nuance to the situation for anyone to really agree on anything.

Eventually Neuvillette has to call for order. Wriothesley is guilty of the crimes, he says. Extenuating circumstances or not, Wriothesley freely admits to having planned out revenge, so this cannot be called self defense. The Oractice has the same verdict, and Wriothesley's only response is to nod at Neuvillette. Some tiny acknowledgement on his blank expression.

Neuvillette chooses the sentence and it's shorter than the technical term. Due to Wriothesley's age and the circumstances surrounding the crime, he's given 15 years instead of 30 to life. Before Wriothesley can argue against his own good, Neuvillette clarifies that this is the most fair punishment.

[mytragedyperson]

ok, kinda wish we got to see the conversation between Choi Han, Deruth and Hans at the beginning of the novel, when he tells them about Harris Village. Because what did he say for Hans to see him defeat the Count's knights and just not question it? How much of the tragic backstory did he tell them, all of it or just the Harris village bit? Because if he didn't tell them everything, to them, it looks like Cale just came home one day with a random homeless stranger, who told them about the assassination at Harris Village, and possibly that he'd killed the assassins but, again, not clear if he actually told them that part or just the assassination of the villagers. And then the homeless stranger from Harris Village fought and defeated Count Deruth Henituse's knights. and they had no further questions? What did Choi Han tell them? Because while it makes more sense that Choi Han told them the whole story about the assassination and that's why neither Hans nor Deruth questioned it, I'd find it a lot more funny if this wasn't the case, that Hans just saw this, was impressed so forgot to question it and then just went on with his day. Maybe he even forgot to mention it to Deruth and he found out some other way, or maybe Deruth didn't know about this. Hans forgot to mention it in his report and none of the knights were about to admit that they'd been bested by some random stranger who their young master randomly found. God, imagine being one of those knights. seriously, no one, not one person, questioned it? Not one of them was so paranoid they worried that Choi Han was lying about who he was or where he was from. I can't imagine every single knight knew about what happened at Harris Village, though I could be wrong. They might've been told in case the assassins were sent to their territory again. But this was still early on. everyone just took this at face value and accepted it? Honestly, one of the things that makes this story work is how utterly unphased everyone around the main character is. Yes, Choi Han and Rosalyn and Lock and the Calefam are completely unphased. But even the unnamed knights, Hilsman and Hans just never question anything. Honestly, I love Deputy Butler Hans. He comes the closest to questioning Cale but you can almost tell he wants to ask but then realizes actually, on second thought I don't wanna know, and just goes about his day, oblivious to the craziness that surrounds him. Either that or he's about to ask or say something but gets interrupted before he can and then it just feels too awkward to ask later. This book wouldn't work half as well if the characters didn't all share a brain cell.

every time I remember Choi Han is physically seventeen and Cale is physically 18, it makes me sad that they're dealing with this shit. I know Cale is 20 now but that's insane. i know mentally or whatever they're older but can you imagine? 18-year-old Cale acts as a father to On, who is only 8 years younger than Cale Henituse. Like Kim Rok Soo is older, I get that but damn. To everyone else, this 18-year-old who's acted like trash for years is suddenly helping people, making friends, and adopting children. every time he returns home there's someone new with him. He's best friends and brothers with the crown prince. God they drive me crazy. i love them

Also, the way Hans asks Cale if it will be okay for Choi Han not to go back to Harris Village in the beginning of the novel is everything. He just automatically trusts Cales judgement and sees him as the person to ask. Now he may have asked the Count as well but we have no proof of that and, if there's no proof it didn't happen so I'm choosing to believe he waited to ask Cale since it was his guest, which is even better when you consider that the day before he was scared Cale was going to throw a bottle at him. Like the fact that he trusted Cale enough to trust his judgement on this matter after he'd been different for two days. God I love Hans and Cale. And I've never seen anyone talk about them and their relationship but like Hans is one of the first people to feel completely at ease around KRS!Cale. It doesn't take him that long to drop the formality. Man I love deputy butler hans. His relationship with Cale feels so underrated.

Also for future reference when I talk about relationships in this sense I mean the Canon relationship. If I make headcanons, which is a real possibility, that may change to include a romantic aspect, but for now, in this case its purely platonic.

And Hans mentioning Ron hurting himself while working again, and that letting us, the audience know that Cale is wrong when he says Choi Han, Ron and Beacrox seem to be getting along. Because we already know about their first spar, but none of the other characters do. Uts another example of unreliable narrator Cale and we love to see it. OK so I really like this story. There's a huge chance that any posts I make are just gonna be this, like talking about unreliable narrator Cale, nobody ever questioning anything that happens and just general reactions as I reread and most of it is just gonna be random thoughts I have while reading. I already feel like I'm going to be so annoying about this but I have zero regrets and refuse to apologise so consider this a fair warning for if you seem to stumble across my posts a lot

Also Cales immediate response without thinking about it being "give him medicine". Further proof that KRS!cale is way nicer than he gives himself credit for. Also I'm sorry but him saying this while thinking "he probably killed somebody again" absolutely sends me. And the fact Ron hasn't actually killed anyone yet. Also its giving "I don't care if he's a murderer, he's one of my people" which is just so Cale

The interview scene is a great example of why Cale can never seen to get rid of the strays he collects. So, as usual, he thinks he's being selfish and using Choi Han, whatever. And obviously there's the whole, if you can kill people, then you should be able to protect people thing, which is already a pretty good message for Choi Han to hear at this point, that he's good for something more than hurting other people or things. But more than that, by phrasing it as an interview, when Choi Han passes that means he's qualified, that Cale believes he can protect/save people. Cale is probably one of the first people to believe in him, to believe he's capable of more than hurting others, and for someone like Choi Han who's just lost everyone he cared about and killed people for the first time, and is probably suffering some serious surivivors' guilt, it's probably what he needs to hear, that someone still believes in him, even if it is a complete stranger. And it's not actually like Cale is being selfish because, if everything went how he planned at this point, it wouldn't even be like he'd gain Rosalyn and Lock's skills to use because he planned to just send them on their way. Also, the way he asks Choi Han's name and introduces himself - it shows a certain level of respect that most wouldn't expect from a noble. He's not looking down on Choi Han, He's treating him as an equal and, by saying he's heard his name from others but wants to hear from Choi Han himself, it shows that he wants him to have his voice and speak and that he'll listen. this may seem like a reach because it's such a small thing but how many nobles would care enough to ask a commoner, one who looked homeless, their name. Most wouldn't even bother to ask to confirm the name they'd heard was correct but Cale does. Imagine how that must feel to Choi Han, knowing his status, that Cale bothered to ask and treat him like an equal.

also can you imagine if Choi Han had slipped up and admitted Cale sent him when he first met Rosalyn and Lock. It wouldn't be completely insane for him to assume they knew each other. that would've looked so bad. oh yeah, this guy who you've never met somehow knew, not only who you were, but where you'd be in order to send me to find you. God the amount of times Cale just gets lucky is insane. He's also insanely unlucky. i Can't decide if the God of Luck loves or hates him.

also don't know if this was the intention but I've always in my head read the "I'm glad you know how to read" bit as sarcastic and throwing shade, especially because he knew before this he could read and because he doesn't offer any further information about who these people are and why Choi Han has to go get them or whatever. i get that it was probably written down on the paper, or maybe he just didn't mention it. It probably wasn't intended but that's how i always read it.

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Crack Ship War - Round 2 Side D

Propaganda under the cut.

CrocoRosi:

LOOK people I know everyone is all over Dofuwani and it's great, everyone wants the other brother with crocodile one of the most shipped men I've witnessed in some time but I just think that Corazon and Crocodile is simply one with potential to be ICONIC. Crocodile & Corazon while being opposites in the Sense of what they do (Pirate & Marine respectively) would possibly work together due to Crocodile being a Warlord. I'd imagine the bickering would be quite funny but one of them would need a light for a cigar/cigarette and then they'd just sit there in silence smoking until Corazon eventually lights himself on fire. I could wrack my crazy little brain so much about the potential of these two and I'd think they'd be chaotic yet strangely cute at the same time. So I'd like to shove them into a boat together and let that ship sail my lords, ladies and jesters

everyone has heard of dofuwani or dofladile. the classic villain pairing. but hear me out. crocodile and the OTHER DQ bro. stay with me folks personality-wise, think about the amount of sanity crocodile would retain. rosinante is far quieter, much more pleasant for an introvert to put up with. sure, he can goof off at times, but he can read the room. he can be serious. crocodile can be a little violent and testy, but rosinante’s dealt with it all before. he knows how to either ignore it, or diffuse it. think about the possibilities their relationship could have. crocodile was a warlord. they could have met when rosinante was still a marine, before either of them got tangled up in doflamingo’s schemes. or, maybe crocodile met corazon, doflamingo’s brother and right-hand man. maybe what started as an attempt to piss doflamingo off turned into a night he couldn't forget. what if someone actually showed crocodile some love? what if someone who was drawn to harmful people found himself snared in crocodile’s grasp, too? so many different spins on their relationship it makes me dizzy.

Potential dynamic fascinate me.

Kuro x Merry: Not funny haha but funny in "I've never thought of that!" sense, actually when you stop to think about it it's all quite a heartbreakingly tragic love affair riddled with betrayal. But! They have no ao3 fics so here we are.