#and it got me nostalgic about this band again

[chloroform-e]

Outside under broken leaves

Last Thursday on my way to work, I listened to wolfgang amadeus phoenix (Phoenix, 2009) from start to finish. It's such a perfect record. I have a lot of fondness for bankrupt! because it'd just been released when I fell in love with Phoenix. But I must admit Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is pretty incredible, nothing but bangers.

And of course it has what's probably my favourite Phoenix song : Rome. I love it so much that I listen to it in small doses, as if I'm afraid it'll make me feel too much. With Rome in my hears I'm feel like I'm 14 again, but also like I've lived through centuries of sadness.

[a9saga]

been listening to a lot of luna sea’s LA live album from 2011 lately because a lot of the studio versions of their big hits like rosier, slave, storm etc aren’t available on streaming platforms but the live album is and it’s got me thinking, man. i would probably kill to see luna sea actually.

[girlleon]

ANYTIME YOU WANT (JUMP BACK TO ME ANYTIME)

husband!leon kennedy x reader

tags: established relationship. you guys are beefing ngl. masturbation (brief reference, m receiving). leon loves his wife a lot. title from eve 6 anytime.

Your therapist takes in the way you both sit on her couch over the rims of her glasses. Your legs and arms are crossed and you don’t dare look in his direction, lest he thinks he’s not in the doghouse. The first fifteen minutes of this session have been an awkward, stilted silence.

Leon’s legs are spread, his arms folded as he sneaks glances at you from the corners of his eyes. His mouth is downturned at the corners, contrasting the thin line yours is pressed into.

Not to stereotype or anything, but she can definitely see which one dragged the other to marriage therapy. She’s just surprised it’s the man wanting to fix something.

Okay. Since neither of you want to speak, she’ll go first. “Would either of you like to tell me why we’re here this week?” She asks, writing the date in the top left corner of the legal pad’s page.

11 - 18 - 17

She watches you scoff and shift where you sit, balancing your temple on two fingers. “You’re a marriage counselor, aren’t you?” You don’t even look at her as you speak, words ground out from your teeth. “Why else does a couple come to you?”

Alright, not a good start. She watches Leon reach over before he stops himself, a hand returning to his lap. Instead, he says your name softly, begging you to look over at him with those big blue eyes.

You don’t look over.

He changes tactics, head lifting. “Be nice.” He says softly, body shifting to face you as he looks over, drinking you in.

You don’t respond, staring angrily into a space over the therapist’s shoulder.

Leon sucks in a breath through his teeth as he leans back, his hand midway between you two on the ugly upholstery.

Your therapist clears her throat, eyes flicking between the two of you. “Why are you two here?”

Leon takes the lead, his eyes sliding over to you. “We’re having… problems.”

You scoff immediately. “Understatement.” You mutter under your breath, arms folding tightly again.

Leon’s mouth presses into a line as he restrains himself from giving into your baiting before he says, “I’ll lay my cards out on the table.”

You bristle, eyes flicking over at him. Your face is stonily neutral, the slight knot of your brows betraying your frustration.

Wife and husband in habit of needling one another.

“I drank. A lot.” Leon leans back, crossing an ankle over his opposite knee. “And she did a lot to try and keep our marriage afloat before I got my head out of my ass.”

Your therapist notes this on her legal pad. “How long ago was this?”

“Three-ish years.” Leon offers, lacing his fingers together. His wedding band glints in the light—yours is conspicuously absent. His eyes land on you, the second time he’s spoken directly to you. “And I’m forever grateful.”

“Mhm.” Therapist writes that husband is apologetic and open, attempting to bridge the gap. Wife is unreceptive. “And how long have you both been married?”

Shit. That’s a better question for you, you have the dates straight, somehow. Your first time, the date you two got married, the day you two met, your first daughter’s birthday, your first son’s birthday, your second daughter and son’s birthday.

He used to tease you about your calendar brain early on. You’d look a little sheepish and he’d kiss it right off you.

Leon sneaks a glance at you like a drowning man looks at a float. “Um…” He can feel his face warming up, a pretty flush spreading across his cheeks.

You shift, sighing through your nose and picking at the seam of your jeans. “Sixteen years.”

Right. Wife seems to defrost when asked how long they’ve been together—sixteen years.

“And how did you meet?” Just so she has the dates straight.

“College.” Your face heats the longer Leon stares holes into your cheek. Wife seems nostalgic of the early days of relationship. “I worked at the campus dining hall.”

A small, helpless smile spreads across Leon’s face. “I came over to the sandwich and pasta stations as much as I could.”

Husband holds affection for wife still.

You don’t look up at him and your therapist can watch the heartache bloom in his eyes before he looks away.

“What’s your perspective, Mrs. Kennedy?” The therapist asks you, crossing her legs.

You stay silent for so long that the therapist wonders whether you heard her before you say emotionlessly, “He did drink.” Your eyes fall to your fingers. “And mope, and feel bad for himself.”

“I went through a lot of things.” Leon says quietly. Your therapist opens her mouth to hush him, but you beat him to the punch.

“Nobody’s saying you didn’t.” You look up at him for the first time. “If you’d let me finish, you’d understand what I’m saying.”

Your therapist holds up her hands before this can devolve into a full-on argument. “Excuse me.” Two pairs of eyes settle on her. “Let’s not interrupt one another, please. And let’s keep the hostility to the minimum.”

“I’m not being hostile.” You retort, brows furrowing in the middle.

“You’re not exactly being gentle, either.” Leon mutters, raising a brow when you look at him with a frown on your face.

Husband and wife have habit of speaking over one another. “Please.” Your therapist says a little louder. “Mrs. Kennedy, continue.” Wife is on defense.

You take a steadying breath and let it out slowly. Wife employs self-soothing mechanisms. “I was going to say that the previous drinking isn’t the issue to me.” You uncross and recross your legs, bouncing the one on top. “The drinking, frankly, wasn’t a surprise.”

“Can you elaborate?”

Your lips part, eyes flicking over to Leon as you attempt to figure out the best way to talk without breaking his confidentiality.

Leon doesn’t look at you, head balanced on two fingers.

“I…” You take another deep breath. “It’s his job. It’s… it’s a tedious and stressful job. And he’d—“ you cut yourself off, glancing at him again.

“You can say it, it’s fine.” Leon says, sounding particularly weary.

You look particularly conflicted when he says that, mouth turning down at the corners. “He’d got the job from a big incident in ninety-eight. He wasn’t supposed to have this job.”

Wife employing vagaries to protect husband.

“Mhm.” Your therapist looks vaguely uneasy at the omission, but lets you go on.

“He hadn’t started drinking heavily until he was working for the President.” You chew on your cheek, eyes on your husband. “Then after that, he tried to go away to Colorado for a week, leaving me pregnant with three kids.”

Leon’s mouth pulls into a line. “So that’s what this is about.”

Husband and wife hold vague resentment for husband’s job.

Your therapist refrains from rolling her eyes, clearing her throat and waiting for you to go on.

“And then,” you say pointedly, eyebrows raising, “you didn’t have a vacation at all because your job called you in. That’s what I was getting at.”

“More like it found me, but close enough.” Leon replies flippantly, crossing his legs.

You squeeze your eyes shut, measuring your breaths. Your therapist is almost tempted to write that husband has a bad attitude, but holds back.

You look away, one hand moving to twiddle your wedding band out of habit before you register that your finger is empty. You pull your hand away. “He sobered up after the Colorado thing.” You say quietly.

Husband’s work takes him away from the wife and kids fairly often.

Your therapist nods, looking between you two. Wife was angry at beginning of session, now looks downcast, switching role with husband who was earlier downcast, now is irritated. “And how many children do you share with one another?”

“Four.” Leon fills in, hand twitching for his phone as if to show pictures. “Two boys, two girls.”

Four children, two boys and two girls.

“And how has this break—“ When she asks, Leon flinches and you look guilty. “in your relationship impacted your children?”

You glance at one another in tandem. Wife and husband still look for support in one another when asked questions pertaining to them as a family unit. Leon looks away first, cheeks turning red.

You sigh, reaching up and rubbing the back of your neck. “Our eldest girl started acting out in school. She’s defiant, she’s antisocial. She…”

Leon waits as you trail off, then picks up. “She’s an extrovert, like her mom. Which is why it raised alarm bells when her teachers told us that she’d been angry about having to do group work because she wanted to be left alone. She had to be taken home one day because she got in a physical fight with some kids who just wanted to play with her.”

“And your other children?” Her eyes flick between the two of you.

“Our youngest two aren’t in school yet.” You inform her, shifting a little and fiddling with your nails. “Our eldest boy—he’s six—had begun isolating himself from everyone. He wouldn’t even sit at his desk, he just wanted to sit in the library area and do his work—which is completely fine and I don’t see why the teacher threw a fit about it, frankly—but he’d also refused to play with other children. He would just watch other kids at recess—and he’s a very energetic kid.”

Your therapist nods slowly. “I see.”

Leon’s mouth pulls into a small smile at all the information you throw at the therapist. That’s his girl, always motormouthing and talking about anything and everything. Though, you could start an argument with your echo, so maybe there’s a drawback to your ability to talk about anything.

Parental relationship affecting children in household.

“Our youngest two don’t really understand why mommy and daddy are fighting.” Leon muses, watching you play with your fingers. He has half a mind to reach over and hold your hand so you stop fidgeting, but refrains.

“How old are your children?”

“Eight, six, four, and two.” You sneakily reference a tattoo on your forearm of the kid’s birthdates with their initials—he knew you were cheating when it came to remembering their birthdates.

Your therapist glances at her watch, jotting down a few more notes before she closes the legal pad, marking it as Mr. & Mrs. Kennedy. “I’m afraid that’s all the time we have this week. If you both are willing to come back, my receptionist out front will schedule you for another session next week.”

Leon watches his cum swirl down the drain miserably, leaning his forehead against the shower tile. What a waste.

That session last week could’ve gone worse, admittedly. It could’ve had you two throwing shit at one another and both of you getting arrested.

The silence during the drive home was excruciating. In the early days, you could fill up the whole fucking car just talking about anything: your coursework, which kid in your class you think is autistic, this new show you watched, anything.

Leon’s a quiet guy, he doesn’t have the capacity to talk about nothing and everything for an hour and you’re his favorite little chatterbox in the world.

He turns off the faucet and shakes his hair out like a dog, raking the curtain aside and grabbing his towel, mopping his face and hair before he dries off his body.

He wraps the towel around himself and steps out of the shower, slicking his hair back and wiping a streak in the foggy mirror so he can somewhat see where he needs to shave.

For good measure, he opens the window and leans forward to the mirror, inspecting his face.

You knock on the door thrice. “Can I come in?”

He turns around, one hand on the knot holding his towel up and the other unlocking the door and pulling it open. You step inside without so much as a glance at him, pausing when you see the streak on the mirror. “I hate when you do that.” you mutter, pulling open the cabinet and rooting around for some disinfectant.

“You hate when I do anything.” Leon mutters back, retrieving the trimmer from the cabinet and being careful not to whack you in the head with it. He jams the plug in the wall, undoing his towel both to dab his cheeks and jaw dry with a corner of it, but also to see if he can get a reaction from you.

You give none, coming back with some rubbing alcohol and cotton pads from the cabinet. Somebody must’ve scraped their knee. You bonk the back of your head on the way out. “Motherfucker!”

Leon puts down the trimmer with a stifled laugh, leaning down and stroking the back of your head gently. “Jesus. You okay?”

You swat at his covered thigh, sitting down on the tile. “It’s not funny.”

“Did you hear me laugh?” Maybe you did. His bad, he should’ve been quieter. He strokes the back of your head one last time before pulling his hand away.

“No, but I know you want to.” You grouse, getting up from the floor and picking up the rubbing alcohol and the cotton pads. Safe, just like a guy stealing a base at the last second.

You walk away without anything further and Leon feels stupidly self-conscious as he watches your ass. Is it the hair? No, you said you liked the body hair. Is it the body? Is he out of shape? Well, he’s not far outside the realm of dad bod. Besides, you told him a couple years ago that you liked seeing the give to his tummy, means he’s eating well.

He shakes his head, leaning into the mirror and picking up the trimmer as he buzzes his stubble down a little more. Your four year old runs into the bathroom with a smile and he pauses, face half-shaven to give some love to one of his three girls, plopping her on the counter as she talks his ear off and he continues shaving.

After a while, he helps her down so she can go run around with her siblings and so he can get changed, hanging his towel up when she’s gone and changing into a pair of boxers. He comes into his bedroom and heads over to his dresser, pulling out a shirt and some sweatpants.

He comes downstairs fully dressed to utter chaos.

Your kids are too busy running around the living room and body slamming one another to listen to you. You stand there frustratedly as you try to configure a game plan, one temple aching. You don’t like raising your voice at them, your voice goes too high and at a certain point, kids tune it out.

“Hey!” Leon, on the other hand, has no qualms about raising his voice. He doesn’t have to do much, he has a lot of diaphragm support.

The kids pause, immediately looking guilty.

Wordlessly, he points out to the back door and they scramble away, shouting and ordering each other around and back to playing with one another.

Leon goes over and shuts the door with a sigh. “They get that energy from you, you know.” He muses, heading over to the kitchen to get himself a snack.

“I know.” You sit down on your humongous couch, rubbing a temple. In the corner is your pillow, your blanket hung over the back of the couch. Leon’s heart dully aches when he sees that setup, he’s not sure it ever won’t. God, he misses cuddling you and his babies.

Your therapist holds up a hand in the last ten minutes of your session after having found a good place to cut you off. “So.” She says after letting out a quiet sigh, looking over her notes.

11 - 25 - 17

Making some headway in conversations about the other’s intentions. Husband and wife very similar: hardheaded, hate to lose, want their voices to be heard. Neither want their children to be in a broken home.

Wife sleeps on couch, lacks wedding ring for second session in a row. Husband longing for connection with her but wants her to give the signal that she’s ready.

She looks up. “I’m going to give you both some homework.” She watches your eyebrow raise and Leon smirk. “First, no matter what either of you is doing, when you first see each other for the day, I want you to hug for at least twenty seconds.”

You frown, Leon’s expression lightening. Amateur advice, or so you think.

“Second, I want you both to start keeping journals of your fights.”

Nevermind.

“Journals of our fights?” You repeat, crossing your legs at the ankle.

“I’m not finished.” The therapist reprimands gently, watching you frown. Wife has issues with authority. “These journals should take place over a week’s time. I want you to write down what the fight was about, what was said, how you both reacted. At the end of every week—Sunday, we’ll say—you’ll exchange the journals and read from the other’s point of view.”

Damn, that’s actually really good.

“Third,” The therapist pins you in place with a look. “I want you to wear your wedding band again.“

She watches the embarrassment cross your face, eyes cutting over to Leon when he looks too smug. “Don’t look so smug, Mr. Kennedy. I want you to recite five things you like about her—“

“That’s easy.” Leon says, meaning every word.

She gives him a look. “When you’re in an argument. Mentally, not out loud. Speaking of, you both need a code word for when the argument is getting to be too much and you need to walk away from it.”

She stands up, putting the legal pad in the folder in the Kennedy file. “I’ll see you both next week.”

After the third session, you move right back into the bedroom, after waking up to Leon laying on top of you on the couch.

Leon’s brushing his teeth as you change into pajamas, leaning over and spitting into the sink before he brushes his tongue. He rinses the bristles and puts the brush back in the holder, coming out and helping you ready the bed before your six year old son comes in, saying his tummy’s upset.

“I’ve got it.” Leon comes over and presses a hand to his son’s forehead. Warm. Five out of the six of the Kennedys tend to run warm, which isn’t a worry. “Let’s get you some Pepto, buddy.”

He takes his son’s hand and leads him downstairs, giving him a dose and taking him back up, laying him back in his bed. “Goodnight. Mommy and daddy love you.” He whispers, going over and kissing his three other children goodnight.

He comes back to your room to find you in bed reading, lights dimmed. Instinctively, he comes over to your side and adjusts the lamp so you’re not straining your eyes to read. He comes back around to his side and turns off his light, lying on his right side and facing you.

When you decide it’s time to sleep, you lean over and turn off the light, putting your book on your nightstand and slipping beneath the covers.

It’s silent for a while before Leon whispers, “Sometimes, I wonder if we should have another baby.”

Your head snaps over to his. “What?”

“Not—“ He scoots a little closer, almost reaching out to take your hand. “not, like, a bandage baby or anything. I don’t think a baby can fix this.” A pause before he gestures in the dark. “Us, I mean.”

You snort despite yourself. “I hope not.”

Leon scoffs, coming a little closer. “You know me. That’s not fair to a little baby. And you said four’s your limit.”

Your heart warms. Maybe you shouldn’t be so surprised he remembered.

“I love you, you know.” Leon murmurs, hesitantly and loosely taking your hand. Even in the dark, you can see him coming.

Your chest aches. “I know.”

Another long pause.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” When your head turns, he’s there, inches from your face.

“That it took me so long to pull my head from my ass. You are… my anchor in this crazy-ass world.” He squeezes your hand, hoping you’ll let him hold it for a while longer. “And I hurt you. You’re the sweetest woman I’ve ever met, and I love you, and I hurt you.”

Your burning eyes scrunch shut as you press your forehead to his.

“I just hope you forgive me—I hope one day, that I’m good enough for you to forgive me.” He whispers, voice wavering. “I want this to work. I want you. God, I miss you.”

Maybe that’s what you needed, you needed to hear him render his heart open.

You come closer, pressing your front to his.

“And even my job—“ He curses, pressing a kiss to your forehead, then the spot between your eyebrows. “I’ll quit.” When you giggle, he huffs. “I’m serious. Give me the word and I’ll quit.”

The tension in his chest eases when you tuck your head beneath his chin. “God, no, don’t do that. At least one of us needs an income.” You mutter, throwing an arm around his waist.

Forgiveness never felt so sweet.

[azrielbrainrot]

Loose Lips and Big Feelings

Pairing: Band Member!Azriel x College Student!Reader

Description: Azriel gets a little drunk and you take care of him.

Warnings: Alcohol?

Word Count: 2320

Notes: This is a little short but very cute. As always, this is part of the band au but you can read it as a standalone. Also I decided the boys make early Arctic Monkeys type music because imagining Azriel singing 505 sounds delicious. Hope you enjoy!

Band AU Masterlist

The bar was already packed with drunk people by the time you arrived. It was so full you were surprised they even let you in, you had to take a deep breath, readying yourself before diving into the sea of people. Finding Azriel and his friends was going to be harder than you thought, you might have to text him again. The situation was somewhat nostalgic to the first time you set foot in this bar, the same night you met Azriel. It's amazing how much things have changed in a matter of months.

Someone was doing a cover of a song you recognized on stage, it almost made you want to hum along and enjoy it for a bit, but you needed to get to Azriel's table first. You couldn't really see the woman singing on stage aside from her striking ginger hair and blue dress, but her voice was truly amazing. You could definitely understand why everyone was so excited to see her. You'd have to ask Azriel if he knew her, maybe try to see one of her shows properly.

You hadn't actually planned on coming tonight, Azriel and the boys weren't even playing and you'd rather sleep away the week. In fact, an hour ago you had been sitting at your desk hoping to get enough progress on an essay so you could completely free up your Sunday to rest and lay in bed all day. But, when a mildly intoxicated Azriel texted you, asking you to meet up with him at the bar, you couldn't resist the offer.

It's not often he asks you outright to meet him, always so conscious of your hectic schedule and workload, even your recent aversion to social outings. So you couldn't really deny him the one time he actually did. You were also a bit curious to see what had him so excited, his happiness was extremely contagious, and admittedly a bit curious to see what he's like when he's drunk, if your intuition had been right then he was close to wasted when he sent you those texts littered with typos.

He had told you that they were sitting at the table by the big red poster, you were pretty sure you knew which one he meant, but unfortunately it was close to the stage which means it would be difficult to get to it while the performance was happening. You were caught between excuse me’s and apologies when you finally caught sight of familiar broad shoulders and luscious tied back hair.

Even when they're not on stage, they're hard to miss. Cassian is at least a head taller than the crowd, so even when he's sitting down you can always count on finding him. He's the first one to notice you as well, greeting you with a shout of your name, somehow audible over the music, and a big grin, as you keep trying to gently push your way through the crowd to get to them.

You find the three of them tucked into the sofas by the table Azriel told you about. Apparently being one of the performing bands gave you access to the best seats in the bar, you always got stuck with the regular chairs. As you get closer to the table you notice Morrigan and another girl you haven't met before were also present.

“You came,” Morrigan yelled excitedly as soon as you got up to the table. It seems they're all drinking tonight, the table is full of grins and flushed cheeks.

“I did,” you chuckle at the overenthusiastic greetings from everyone at the table. A familiar scarred hand reaches out for yours immediately, tugging on it so you would sit down next to him. It's not missed on you the eyebrows the gesture raises, you've learned that he's not always forthcoming with letting people touch or hold his hands so you're sure they didn't really expect him to do it so easily. They probably didn't know Azriel told you everything either.

The sofas were small so it was a tight fit as you sat down right next to him, having no other option but let your leg comfortably rest on his, the feeling of his rough jeans on your bare skin making you giddy for some reason. His arm comes around your waist straight away so his hand settles on the side of your thigh, pulling you even closer into him.

The gesture makes you look up at him, his face a lot closer than you expected, you could feel his breath hit your skin and if you moved even an inch closer your nose would bump against his. The smile he gives you almost takes your breath away as you let out a soft greeting, “Hi.” You're surprised he even heard you, if you weren't so close to each other he wouldn't have been able to over the music, but he throws the same word back at you, in the same whispered tone you used, as his smile widens, eyes not making any effort to leave yours.

“So this is Azriel's friend,” the girl you haven't met before says, with a tone that suggests she's heard a lot about you. The thought of Azriel or any of the boys telling anyone about you has your heart skipping a beat. Her voice also cuts through the spell you and Azriel seemed to be locked in, finally breaking eye contact with him so you can answer her. But, as you look back to the table, you become more than aware that everyone just witnessed your little moment and the smirks on their faces make it hard to play it off.

“This is Amren. She's our manager,” Rhysand explains before you have to ask, a shit eating grin growing on his face as he takes in the flushed state of yours.

“Nice to meet you,” you try to keep your voice leveled but even to your ears it sounds breathless. You swallow softly and try to move the conversation along as Azriel starts rubbing small circles over your skirt, “You didn't tell me why you're celebrating.”

“Rita just told us she's doubling our performances at the bar,” Azriel explains, a little slur noticeable in his voice.

“Really?” You turn back to him as he nods again with a big grin on his face. He looked really excited to share the news with you.

“She's giving us a raise too,” Cass adds, and then looks back at his mostly empty cup and then at your empty hand, “We need to get you a drink.” You stop him before he can get up. “I think I'll be the responsible one tonight and stay sober.” The disappointed reactions around the table make you laugh but also accept that you'd be the babysitter tonight, they were all bordering on wasted already.

As the night went on, everyone only got progressively drunker. It seems like since they can't usually drink too much when they have to perform, they took the opportunity that everyone was here to party as much as they could. Even Azriel, who you never really saw drinking, was talking and laughing like you've never really seen him. He's more of a quiet guy most of the time, preferring to listen rather than entertain. It was nice to see him let loose a little.

The bar was getting quieter since the performance had ended a while ago and the big majority of the attendees started filtering out shortly after. The only people that were still around were ones that were as drunk as your present company. You didn't really mind being sober though, Cassian had brought you some sort of juice so you had something to sip on, and as loud as they were, they were easy drunks to deal with.

Amren had left right after the performance ended with a warning not to stay up too late since they had practice tomorrow. You got the sense she wasn't too much of a crowded bar person but she seemed nice enough. After that everyone else seemed to leave one by one, you tried to keep track of them, not wanting them to end up in trouble as drunk as they were, but as you saw Morrigan making out with a pretty girl with long black hair on the dancefloor your worry subsided.

This also left you alone with Azriel, who has been a lot more talkative and touchy than he usually is. At this exact moment, he was telling you a story, that you lost track of about halfway in, and holding one of your hands in between his, as he played with your fingers, twisting and turning the rings you were wearing. He has also not made any move to sit away from you even though you were the only remaining people at the table, your leg really didn't need to be thrown over his. Azriel was a clingy drunk and your cheeks hurt from smiling at the realization.

You were pondering on how to stop him so you could take him home. It was getting really late and you've already gotten almost unreadable texts from everyone saying they left. He had also told you he had work today so he has to be exhausted. But you didn't have the heart as you watched him excitedly continue on with his story.

At some point, he notices you weren't really following along and just stops, tilting his head to the side slightly. Your smile only widens at the sight. “What?”

“You're cute when you're drunk,” you admit.

“I think you're cute all the time,” he retorts without missing a beat, making your face heat up.

You always had a hard time telling yourself to keep your feelings for him platonic, but between the boyish smile, the flirtatious comments and the lingering touches, it was getting close to impossible to achieve today. “And flirty,” you struggle out.

“Only with you.” Cauldron. You really needed to get him to sober up and take him home.

You get up to do just that and within ten minutes, you're out of the bar and waiting for an uber by the same empty parking lot you usually find yourself in when you come out. He's also a pretty obedient drunk it seems. All you had to do was grab his hand and he looked like he was ready to follow you anywhere your heart desired. You were so glad you chose not to drink because your heart was definitely giving you ideas and your brain was the only thing stopping you.

Azriel was still holding onto your hand and you honestly had no intention of letting go of him. You couldn't really take your eyes off him. His cheeks and the tips of his ears were flushed, the low lights of the bar hasn't let you really take in the sight. Some of his hair was sticking to his forehead and that same boyish smile hasn't left his face all night. No one should be allowed to look this good when they're drunk.

“Remember when we met here?” His words were starting to sound a bit clearer, maybe the cold air was helping him sober up a little or he was just getting tired. You think he told you he had work today and it was already late.

“Of course. It only happened a few months ago.”

“Feels like I've known you my whole life,” he says as he looks down at your linked hands, running his thumb softly over your skin.

“We didn't meet here though,” your voice seems to bring him out of his thoughts, his eyes finding yours, “You gave me back my keys when we were still inside.”

His smile turned a little shy at that. “I'm not sure that counts. I was running late and barely said anything,” he says rubbing the back of his neck, “I was beating myself up over it the whole show.”

“I…” you hesitate for a moment, unsure if he'll remember anything come morning. unsure if you'd want him to, “I was having a really bad day when we met, didn't even really want to come out, but I'm really glad I did, even though I got a massive headache out of it. If I hadn't come I wouldn't have met you. And I can't really imagine my life without you now.”

You tighten your hold on his hand and use it to pull him a little closer to you, close enough that you have to crane your neck back to be able to keep looking up into his eyes. “I think you came into my life at the perfect time, Azriel,” you smile up at him.

The emotion that crosses his face is so overbearing it's impossible to miss or confuse for anything else than adoration and… something more, something you've been trying to ignore for far too long. Gods, you really wish he was sober.

He raises his hand to cup your cheek softly, rubbing his thumb over your warm skin. “I think so too, princess,” he whispers, looking at you like he can't believe you're real. You've noticed the nickname only comes out when it's just the two of you and at times like this, when it seems he doesn't even realize he's said it, like he's been holding himself back from doing it regularly.

You could have stayed here, looking up at his beautiful hazel eyes all night, but it doesn't take long for a black car to come to a stop a few feet away from you, effectively pulling you out of your thoughts. You almost forgot you were still outside the bar, still needed to take this big drunk bat home. Taking a step back, you tug on his hand once again, so he can follow you to the car. “Come on, Azzie. We need to get you home.”

taglist: @bookishbroadwaybish @sad-anxious-muffin @mika-no-sekai-blog @starwholistenanddreamsanswered @secretlyhers @evergreenlark @vermillionwinter @anuttellaa @lilah-asteria @tinymarklee @lupinswolfsbanes @therealmoonstone

[adrienneleclerc]

First Concert

Pairing: Keyboardist!Charles Leclerc x Reader, Singer!Lewis Hamilton x Reader, Bassist!Carlos Sainz x Reader, Drummer!Max Verstappen x Reader, Lead Guitarist!Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: Y/N goes to her first “Just An Inchident” concert and surprisingly gains the attention of the band, every girl’s dream come true

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors

A/N: let me know if you want Y/N to date ALL OF THEM or date one band member and be friends with the rest of the band.

Y/N was on Ticketmaster and so was her friend, Penelope, on her computer.

“Any luck?” Y/N asked.

“Nada.” Penelope replied.

“Come on, we’re literally number 741 on the queue, they’re going to be sold out by the time we get through.” Y/N said.

“Okay, I’m 384.” Penelope said and Y/N shuts her laptop, moving closer to Penelope. “Get me my credit card.”

“On it.” Y/N goes to look in her purse. “What number are we now?”

“193.” Penelope said.

“We are so close.” Y/N said, bringing Penelope the card she wanted.

“I’m in!!! What seat do you want?” Penelope asked.

“Whats the closest and most affordable?” Y/N asked.

“You think we can afford floor seats?” Penelope asked. “There’s a few available.”

“Yes! Get it, get it, get it! I’ll pay you back, work extra shifts!” Y/N exclaimed.

“Alright, chill, I put them in my cart. Ticket insurance?” Penelope asked and Y/N nodded. “I got it! It’s done! We are going to see Just An Inchident this October!”

“Ah, Im so excited!!” Y/N said. “You are the best bestie ever.” She hugs Penelope

“I know. Should we recreate an outfit from their music videos?” Penelope asked.

“Which music video? It could be from ‘daydream’, that’s a great song.”

“You just like it because Charles sings it.”

“I mean yes but it’s a really good song, you had it on repeat when it first came out.” Y/N said.

“I know, I know. But I wonder what made them decide to finally do a North American tour.” Penelope said.

“Well they’ve been together for 5 years, they’ve been doing European tours all the time, maybe they finally realized they had American fans.” Y/N suggested.

It is October, the band is doing a sound check

“You think we’ll be playing more American venues?” Lando asked.

“If this tour goes well, I freaking hope so.” Max said.

“We’re playing Madison Square Garden, I still can’t believe it.” Lewis said.

“Actually we sold out Madison Square Garden if you wanted to get technical.” Max explained.

“Mate, you really need to stop maxplaining.” Carlos said.

“When do the doors open again?” Charles asked.

“At 7, we still have time for everything. With what song do you want to open with?” Lewis asked.

“I think a good opener needs to be a crowd favorite but a little nostalgic, you know?” Lando said.

“How about ‘Preacher Man’ (the driver era), it is one of our songs that was number one of the billboard 100 for a few weeks, that’s a definite American crowd favorite.” Charles commented,

“Lando sings that song though.” Lewis said.

“Well we can’t open up with ‘Meddle About’ (Chase Atlantic) now Can we?” Charles asked.

“You’re right.” Lewis said.

“Great, now that that’s settled, let’s go over the rest of the setlist.” Max says.

Y/N and Penelope are waiting outside of Madison Square Garden with outfits inspired by their favorite’s red carpet look

“Ah, It’s almost time!” Penelope said excitedly

“I know!! I wonder what they’ll sing first.” Y/N said. “Do we have enough money to buy merch when we get in?”

“Yeah of course.” Penelope responded. The security guard opened the door to Madison square garden and everyone started walking in, opening their bags for security, they went to the merch table to see what’s available and bought matching t-shirts. They went to their seats.

“Oh my gosh, we are so close to the stage.” Y/N said.

“Ugh, I know, it’s insane.” Penelope said. Half an hour later, the lights went out and everyone started screaming once they heard Max on the drums.

“It’s happening!” Y/N screamed.

Spotlight hit Max who was on the drums, hen another spotlight landed on Lando as he plays guitar, another on Carlos as he plays bass, then Charles on his keyboard, altogether playing the music of ‘Preacher Man’, lastly Lewis is lifted on a platform (think of the Hannah Montana movie), the music stops.

“Whats up, New York City!” Lewis said and the crowd goes wild. “We are ‘Just an Inchident’, thank you for coming! It’s always been my dream to perform in Madison Square Garden and now I’m living it.”

“We are very grateful for our American fans, it means so much to us that you like our music.” Lando said.

“We hope we’ll keep coming back here and performing for you guys.” Charles said.

“We hope you enjoy the show!” Max says.

“I guarantee you it’s worth the money.” Carlos said, Lewis picked up another rhythmic guitar while Lando stepped closer to the mic stand so he could sing.

“Hey, Mr. Preacher Man, I've been playing with a heart like a violin, I've been stumbling through the door after 6:00 a.m., fix my soul so I don't lose a love again” Lando sang into the mic. The crowd was loving it, 45 minutes in, there’s a little intermission where the band talks to the crowd

“You guys enjoying yourselves?” Lewis asked, the crowd cheered. “Okay, where them girls at?” The women cheered loudly. “Alright, who came here with their boyfriend?” Women cheered less. “Who’s single?” Women cheered loudly again. “Now one of you lucky single ladies, if you came with your boyfriend, I am so sorry, are going to be selected to pick our next song.” The camera connected to the screens chose Y/N. The boys looked at the screen behind them, she was beautiful. “Alright darling, come closer to the stage.

“Oh my god, go.” Penelope pushed Y/N lightly because she stood frozen. Y/N walked slowly to the stage, Lewis kneeled down so he could get closer to Y/N, he admired her beauty up close.

“Whats your name, sweetheart?” Lewis asked, handing her the microphone.

“Y/N.” She replied

“That’s a beautiful name, what song would you like us to perform?” Lewis asked.

“Well my favorite song is Daydream but Friends would be great.” Y/N replied.

“Well I’ll tell you what, Y/N, we’ll perform both.” Lewis winked at her before getting back up. “How does that sound?” The crowd cheered, Y/N walked back to her seat. “Thanks for participating darling.” The concert continued, as promised, Charles sung Daydreams, Lewis sung Friends, an hour and a half later, the concert finished, Penelope and Y/N were going to leave but they were stopped by security.

“Ladies, you need to come with me.” The guard said and Penelope immediately put her hands up

“I swear I did not do anything.” Penelope said and Y/N elbowed her.

“We’re not getting arrested, right?” Y/N asked, looking at the guard.

“Of course you’re not, just follow me.” The guard said and the girls were escorted backstage and met the band, a fan’s dream come true.

"Oh my gosh, this is insane." Penelope said.

"Hey girls, what did you think of the concert?" Charles asked.

"It was absolutely amazing, the light changes to macth the aesthetic of the song, the way you sung Daydreams is also amazing, i never knew how great that song sounds live." Y/N said and Charles smiled at her.

"How about you, darling? What was your favorite part of the concert?" Lando asked Penelope.

"You singing When You Need A Man, my all time favorite song." Penelope answered.

"Before you girls leave, we should take photos." Carlos spoke up.

"Great! Heres my phone." Y/N unlocked her phone and went to the camera, asking the secuirty guard if he could take the photo, which he did, then they took individual selfies, and the girls left, saying goodbye.

"She seems nice." Max said.

"Yeah, she's beautiful too, my favorite venue we played by far." Lewis said.

"When do we leave New York?" Carlos asked.

"We're staying a few days to go on 'Good Morning America', but i am beat, I just want a pizza." Lando said.

"Yeah, we'll get a pizza and head over to my apartment." Lewis said.

"Great, lets go." Charles said.

Y/N and Penelope got to their apartment and both girls posted their concert photos, the meet and greet, and clips of them performing their favorite songs, tagging the band and the individual members on Instagram. The next day, Y/N woke up with notifications that Lewis Hamilton, Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris, Carlos Sainz, and Max Verstappen have followed her on Instagram. Y/N was smiling and Penelope was making breakfast for them.

"What's got you all smiley?" Penelope asked.

"No, nothing, what are we having?" Y/N asked

The End

Hope y’all liked it, I am so very sorry if the buildup was better than the actual fic, tell me if you want Y/N to date all of the band members or just one member

Taglist: @the-holy-trinity-l @ourlifeforchaos @weekendlusting @marekmybeloved @always-spaced-out @dark-night-sky-99 @tribbisweetdear @iangelofmusic @mrsmelinda @shadowyinfluencercloud @bountychanti @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @jazzyanneblogzzz @anotheranotherblogwoah

Setlist: the bands are chosen for each person based on vibe

Preacher Era -The Driver Era (Lando) Wires - The Neighborhood (Max) Valentine - Maneskin (Charles) Meddle About - Chase Atlantic (Lewis) Arabella - The Artic Monkeys (Lewis) Swim - Chase Atlantic (Lewis) Did You Have Your Fun - R5 (Lando) Sweater Weather - The Neighborhood (Max) Smooth Operator - Sade (Carlos) Supermodel - Maneskin (Charles) Okay - Chase Atlantic (Lewis) Perfect Sense - Artic Monkeys (Lewis) Daydreams - We Three (Charles) Prey - The Neighborhood (Max) Friends - Chase Atlantic (Lewis) Snap Out Of It - The Artic Monkeys (Lewis) Heaven Angel - The Driver Era (Lando) Daddy Issues - The Neighborhood (Max) Fear of Nobody - Maneskin (Charles) i Wanna Be Yours - Artic Monkeys (Lewis) HER - Chase Atlantic (Lewis) Subeme La Radio - Enrique Iglesias (Carlos) {PARA MI GENTE LATINA} When You Need a Man - The Driver Era (Lando) Right Here - Chase Atlantic (Lewis) One for the Road - Artic Monkeys (Lewis) Feel You Now - The Driver Era (Lando) Baby Said - Maneskin (Charles) Void - The Neighborhood (Max) Knee Socks - Artic Monkeys (Lewis) OHMAMI - Chase Atlantic (Lewis) Timezone - Maneskin (Charles) Compass - The Neighbourhood (Max) Welcome to the End of Your Life - The Driver Era (Lando) R U Mine? - Artic Monkeys (Leiws) The Walls - Chase Atlantic (Lewis) Own My Mind - Maneskin (Charles) Reflections - The Neighborhood (Max) A Kiss - The Driver Era (Lando)

[yourimagines]

Hello, I saw you write for multiple fandoms and I was wondering if you also write for one direction or 5SOS, if so it would be lovely

Thank you!

Yes I do, I grew up with those two bands 🙈

Loving you

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Gif is not mine

* Triggers: Swearing, Sadness, A Hint Of Smut And Fluff

Y/n POV

It was Saturday night and the kids were just in bed asleep. Louis was outside in our backyard, smoking a cigarette. “Hello handsome.” I said as I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his torso. “Hello Love.” He laid one of his hands over mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Are they in bed?” He asked as he took a drag from his cigarette. I nodded against his back and closed my eyes. “Yes, they were tired and fell asleep immediately.” I was tired as well from all the things that were going on right now in our lives. “You okay love?” I nodded and held him close to me. “Yeah…just a bit tired.”

Louis was a bit concerned about me so he guided me back inside, laying me down on our couch and grabbed my blanket. “Here, I’ll make you a cup of tea.” He gave me my blanket and walked away to make me a cup of tea. I smiled to myself and snuggled up in my blanket. “We can watch a movie or something.” I said as I got comfy on the couch. “Whatever you want darling.” He said as he walked into the room, bringing me a cup of tea. “Okay, then sit down and cuddle with me Lou.”

I was laying against his chest as his arm was wrapped up around me. “Liam wants to come over next week.” I looked up at him, he had a twinkle in his eyes. “Really?” He nods and moves his hand up to my head and went through my hair. “Yeah, he’s the only one that actually shows up and wants to be friends.” He sounded sad and hurt by the fact that nobody else wanted to see him or even talk to him. “I know it sucks but that’s life. They all have their own life’s and sometimes it just happens that you grow apart from each other. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be friends anymore.” I was looking at him as my hands went slowly over his chest, trying to let him know that it’s okay to feel sad about it. “I know, I’m not angry at them just a bit disappointed about things went.”

Louis POV

She was right, we all grow up and sometimes you lose people even if you don’t mean to. “So Liam wants to come over with his son Bear.” She nods and smiles at me. “Sounds good, they like each other already.” I moved closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I love ya.” Her noise wrinkles as she starts to smile shyly at me. “I love you.” She says as she gives me a peck on my chin, just missing my lips. “I missed.” She giggles softly as I kissed her. “I’ve got you covered love.”

—— one week later ——

Liam was over with his son and his girlfriend, y/n was inside to grabbed us something to drink as the kids were playing in the backyard. “Did you hear about Zayn.” Liam said to me as I was watching the kids. “No, what about him?” I turned my head to look at him. “He wants to be friends again, with all of us.” I was surprised to hear that, I know Zayn had a terrible time in the band, especially the last few months. “Did he really said that?” He nods and grabs his phone. “Yeah, I’ll show you. He said it yesterday in an interview.” I moved closer to Liam to look at his phone. “He says it right here.” He played the video and I made me feel a bit nostalgic, remembering how it was before the band ‘split up’. “He’s looking good tho.” Liam said as I watched the video. “Yeah…good for him.”

Liam went back home with his son and his girlfriend. I helped y/n to clean up some dishes as our kids sat quietly on the couch, watching some cartoons. “Liam showed me a video today about Zayn doing an interview.” I opened the dishwasher and she placed the glasses on the rack. “Really, what was it about?” She looked up at me and stopped. “Lou are you okay?” I nodded and awkwardly coughed, trying not to cry. “Yeah…he wants the band back together.” My hand went up to my face and rubbed my face. “Tell me, how do you feel about this?” She walked over and wrapped her arms around me. “Shit….I-I don’t know. I feel a lot right now.” She nods and just hugged me. “I know, it’s okay to feel like this.”

Y/N POV

He wrapped his arms around my middle and nuzzled his head in my neck. “I waited two years for them…” his voice cracked and I gentle squeezed him, holding him tighter. A muffled cry was heard and his arms immediately pulled me tighter against his body. “It’s okay.” I gently rubbed his back as he started to cry. “I fucking hate feeling like this….” He mumbled against my shoulder. “I know you do but it’s okay.” He slowly lifted his head back and wiped his face. “I’m such a loser.” I shook my head and placed a soft kiss on his chin. “You’re not a loser, stop beating yourself up for being a human being.” He sighs softly and wrapped one arm around my shoulder. “I focking love ya.”

Louis just put our kids in bed as I was making myself ready to go to bed as well. “They are asleep.” He wrapped his arms around me and placed a kiss on my shoulder, looking at me through the mirror. “So beautiful.” I blushed and he moved his hands over my body. “I’m so lucky to have you my love.” He placed a trail of kisses over my shoulder while holding me close against his warm chest. “You always say that but I think I’m the lucky one.” I slowly turned around and kissed him. He immediately kissed me back, pressing my body into his. My hands went over his naked chest as he deepens the kiss, pushing my back against the sink. “Louis…” I softly whispered against his lips. “Yeah..?” He pulled back and gently touched my face. “Let’s go to bed.” I gently squeezed his biceps and he lifted me up. “Whatever you want love.”

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

Atlas: You’re coming, right?

Dan: Duh, I got people that want me there.

Atlas: I didn’t realize you were famous like that.

Dan: You would if you were around more.

Atlas: You're actually annoying!

Dan: Easy opening. Oye, I’m gonna try to invite Frances and Kai.

Atlas: So they can not show up again? Love that.

Dan: It was one time.

Atlas: A couple times actually. Look, do whatever you want, I’m not gonna hold my breath for them.

Dan: You’re such a brat.

Atlas: No me digas. Anyways gotta go, I need to work on this piece.

Dan: Fine, I’ll call you tomorrow.

Atlas: You don’t gotta do that.

Dan: It’s either that or I walk there since I don’t drive.

Atlas: PFFT. Loser.

Dan: Come mierda!

Atlas: Bye!

Ares: Need a ladder?

Atlas: Probably. Meh, I’ll stack a couple of boxes.

Ares: And break your back? 

Atlas: Sounds fun.

Ares: Atlas right?

Atlas: Mhm.

Ares: Wait, you were at that party the other night. Dan wanted to beat the shit outta you.

Atlas: Sounds about right. Good thing she didn’t.

Ares: Damn that looks sick.

Atlas: Thanks, man. 

Ares: How long does it usually take you to paint something like this?

Atlas: Too fucking long but it’s worth it. 

Ares: I bet, I could never use my imagination to create this much less have the patience to finish a painting. 

Atlas: I could have sworn you were in a band.

Ares: I am, why?

Atlas: Isn’t it similar? Especially when coming up with a song.  

Ares: To an extent, you have chords that you sequence together into a melody. However, most of these chords have been played time and time again so it can feel like I’m playing from memory.

Atlas: Well a memory can be a reference. In art, everything feels like the residuals of something nostalgic. Maybe the melody reminds you of a happier moment. I just don’t think you should sell yourself short.

Ares: If that’s the case, what does this piece remind you of?

Atlas: A better time. 

Ares: Are you alright now?

Atlas: As good as it gets. Anyways, do you know if the boba shop has a bathroom?

Ares: Yeah, but-

Atlas: I see why Dan likes you.

Ares: Likes me?

Atlas: Something like that. Catch you later.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Champion of the World **^

Part 2 of Music Producer! Harry blurb as requested in the notes by @totodiamond :) I just did a proper one shot for it.

Warnings: Oral (f receiving), fingering, sex, mentions of death and loss, cheating.

WC: 9k

LAST WARNING... If you haven't read the BLURB first you can do so here.

The reception of Y/N’s band’s new album was expected to be pretty promising. Granted, their music wasn’t “mainstream”, but Harry had insisted that they have 2 singles on the album to get them more on the radar and well, it had worked. Their second single had a more indie-pop feel and swept the nation thanks to a TikTok posted by their label. Because of it’s popularity it really helped hype up the anticipation for their album release and it was projected to do really well. They were also projecting that the second single would be the “song of the summer”. And well, they would start to tour in August so they would be busy from August until next May. 

The topic of tour seemed to be the most frequently asked question as she navigated through the room at the album’s launch party. This was their first headlining tour, they had opened on a few tours for several shows with their EP and first album, but this was the big one. Their self-titled album. Because this is how they made a name for themselves. It was a lot to take in and the more people asked the more overwhelmed Y/N felt. There were people everywhere and she was slowly starting to get anxious and she just needed a little break so she headed outside to catch some fresh air. When she got out there someone was smoking off to the side and the scent just called to her. She hadn’t smoked in years, but she was feeling nostalgic, so she went up to him and bummed a cigarette off of him before the man headed inside. She had just taken her first drag and it felt so familiar that she smiled to herself.

“Seriously?” She heard and immediately recognized the voice and turned to her right to see Harry walking over to her with a disbelieving smirk on his face. She was partially hidden behind a giant palm planter for this very reason, she didn’t want a scolding from anyone about her smoking. She knew cigarettes were gross and bad for you, but she was feeling nostalgic when the scent reached her nose and she gave in just this once.

“I know, I know…but I haven’t smoked in maybe 4 years, it’s just this once. Don’t narc me out to Richard.” She said to Harry of their manager as he stopped before her, still smirking.

“Gimme that.” He said extending his hand to her and she frowned.

“Fine. Just one more though.” She said to him and he laughed softly.

“Relax, I’m not gonna put it out. Nor will I narc you out.” He said to her lowly and she smiled at him as she passed it on over, “D’you mind?” He asked as he raised it to his mouth and she shook her head.

“Go for it.” She assured and he proceeded to put the filter between his lips and inhaled for a few seconds before letting the smoke flow out from between his slightly parted lips as he exhaled.

“Wow, I haven’t smoked in ages either.” He said to her with a smile, “It’s as awful and comforting as I remember.” He added and she chuckled.

“Yeah…” she agreed.

“I promised myself I’d never do that again…thanks.” He joked and she shrugged.

“I’m sorry for tempting you. I’ve heard that I tend to bring out the worst in people…” she apologized with a half smile on her face.

“No you don’t.” He shook his head, “You bring out the wild side in people, but it’s only because you’re so effortlessly cool and yourself. Like people want to impress you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” He said and she smiled.

“Is that what this was? You trying to impress me?” She teased him.

“No, I have some dignity.” He countered with a grin and she laughed loudly as he chuckled, “Nah, I saw you walk out in a bit of a rush and just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He explained, “So are you alright?”

“Yeah, it just got a little overstimulating in there. Too many lights and voices and questioned and smells…it was a lot.” She said and he hummed as he took another drag before handing the cigarette back and she immediately took a drag.

“Oh, the shitty parts of acquiring fame…”

“Yeah.” She giggled as the smoke billowed out of her mouth. He started at her lips for a few seconds as she glanced off somewhere else. Her lips were slightly swollen and looked so smooth and juicy from whatever product she had on them. He’d been dying to kiss her for months, but he didn’t want to start anything with her while they were actively involved in a professional relationship. 

“Are you excited for the tour?” He asked after a few beats of silence. And she wasn’t annoyed when he asked about it, but maybe it’s because it was him.

“Yeah, we already start rehearsals next week! I think we need to re-work the setlist though…but we’ll see once we run the full show through.”

“Are you guys rehearsing here?”

“Yeah, we’ll stay in LA.” She confirmed, “What’s next for you?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve got a couple offers on the table for different gigs, just not sure what to choose.” He confessed and she hummed.

“Well which one has you most excited?” She asked and he bit his lip pensively.

“Ummm…I’ve been approached to compose for an indie film…” he said and she gasped in surprise.

“Oh? That’s so cool, Harry!”

“Yeah.” He smiled, “I haven’t really done any original compositions since…maybe grad school?” He said with a questioning expression, “So it’s not out of my skillset, but I’m definitely out of my depth and out of practice. I’m sure I’m rusty, but it’s something different than what I’ve been doing the last few years, you know? So it seems the most exciting and challenging.”

“Yeah. That’s really sick. What’s the storyline? If I can ask.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, ummm, it’s one of those dystopian love stories…so like the world’s gonna end in a few weeks and we’re all gonna die and it’s about like making peace with yourself and living in the moment, finding the beauty in the tragedy…that kind of thing. I really liked the script, it’s so realistic and well written. I’ve even considered going for one of the lead roles.” He said to her and she smiled.

“Oh? Acting too?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled timidly.

“Well aren’t you multitalented!” She smiled as he smiled bashfully, “Well, it sounds really cool, definitely sounds like something I’d watch. If only to hear your compositions.” She said and he smiled.

“Hey, if I say yes maybe you can sing on a track.” He suggested and she smiled.

“Yeah, I’d be down.” She assured as she flicked the ash off of her cigarette before taking another drag and exhaling, “Do you want another?”

“Yeah, last one.” He said and she chuckled as she passed it over to him. Once he took his drag he held it out to her.

“I’m good. You can kill it or…kill it.” She said and he smiled as he stepped over to the little ashtray over the garbage bin and extinguished what was left of the cigarette before stepping back over to her.

“So, should I keep myself open for your next album or has the illusion of having me produce your albums died?” He asked with a grin and Y/N laughed aloud at his question before biting down on her lip to suppress a smile.

“Ummm, I’d say keep yourself open…I think I need to give you a fair shot.”

“Oh… OK.” He smiled contently, “Good. I’ve got some really great ideas for some of the songs we cut from this album that can help kind of establish your sound for the next one.” He said.

“Geez…already? Everything moves so fast here.”

“You’re definitely not in Kansas anymore…” he smiled at her and she rolled her eyes playfully, “Don’t roll your eyes, you know you want to laugh.” He said to her and she finally did but shook her head.

“I’m not even from Kansas! I just went to school there!”

“Yeah, but the rest of your band is, and it was formed there, so whether you like it or not, you’re now from Kansas - well according to Wikipedia you are - so the joke works.” He said smugly.

“You wikipedia-ed me?”

“Well, I wiki-ed the band before I agreed to work with you guys. You’ve seriously never googled anything about me?” He asked her incredulously.

“Eh, kind of…I mean, I googled narcissistic personality disorder, to see if you met the criteria for it…” she said and he laughed loudly and she smirked, “When I realized that I was reaching, I googled your birthday and discovered you’re an Aquarius, and well…that explained a lot. Like how you’re so great at your job but also a control freak and kind of a dick.” She teased and he shook his head.

“I see how it is…” he hummed in mock offense and she reached out for his arm, her hand rested against his bicep.

“I don’t think that of you anymore, just to clarify. It was before when I was still mad at you. I’m sorry. You’re perfectly normal according to the DSM-5.” She assured giving him a small, reassuring squeeze and he grinned.

“Yeah, thank you for stating the obvious.” He chuckled as her hand started to slip away from him and he grabbed it in his, which made her look up into his eyes. Her heart rate starting speeding up as her eyes met his own before he glanced down at her hand, “This is nice.” He said to her as his thumb grazed over the sunburst ring on her middle finger. She looked down as well and felt her tummy flutter at his innocent, but very intimate gesture.

“Thank you. My sister gave it to me.” She replied, her hand still in his. He hadn’t made a move to let go and she hadn’t made a move to pull her hand away from his either, so their eyes met again as their hands came down, still connected by their middle fingers being hooked together. The tension and electricity buzzing between them was extremely obvious.

“It’s gonna be weird not seeing you guys every day.” He said to her and she smiled.

“Yeah…everyone’ll miss you, if that’s any consolation.” She said with a small smile and he smiled down at the ground and asked his question before he could talk himself out of it.

“What about you? Are you gonna miss me too?” He inquired before looking back into her eyes and she smiled bashfully.

“Gee, I don’t know…what do you think?” She asked playfully and he chuckled.

“I mean can you blame me for asking? Your messages and feelings towards me are kind of hard to read.” He said and she hummed as she bit her lip pensively and then glanced up to his eyes before placing her hands on chest and tiptoeing to graze her lips over his. Her eyes flickered up to his.

“Does this clear things up for you?” She asked with a soft smile and he smirked.

“Ummm, it’s still a little murky.” He teased.

“Oh yeah?” she responded quietly and he hummed teasingly, “Let me make it clearer then.” She whispered before pressing her lips to his. His hands immediately found their place at her waist as hers slithered up to loop around his neck. Their soft and playful kisses soon turned into languid and hungrier kisses as the seconds passed them by in their dark little hiding place.

Harry now had Y/N up against the wall with one hand around the back of her neck and the other against the wall as he sank his teeth into her bottom lip before sliding his tongue in against her own. Her beautiful, breathy moan made his ears perk up and ring. It was such a beautiful and sensual sound, he wanted to put it on a track; layer it in somewhere and commemorate it as the beautiful and artistic sound it was. Her index fingers were hooked into his trouser’s belt loops, keeping him as physically close as she could. She wanted to disappear into the night with him and see where they ended up. The tension between them had been building for months and well, they hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks after they finished production on the album, so she assumed that the tension would dissipate with time. But she was discovering that hadn’t affected her longing for him, not even a little bit. 

“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asked her quietly, and admittedly with a smidge of uncertainty, as his nose skimmed down the length of hers in a delicate and playful gesture.

“Yeah.” She whispered and nodded her head in a double confirmation to him that she wanted to be alone with him.

“Alright.” He smiled against her mouth and she smiled as well before he grabbed her hand and pulled her around the building towards where he parked. He was given a spot right out back instead of having to valet, which would be a waste of precious time with her. So they hurried around to the back and they got inside and took off. He was in his classic, white Mercedes with the top down, so when they were leaving, they were inevitably papped. And as much as she tried to keep her head down to avoid being recognized as the woman in his car any comparison in outfit would easily prove that she had in fact left her own launch party with Harry, her producer.

“God, they’re everywhere!” Y/N griped as they finally got on the main street and were stopped at the traffic light.

“And there’s more.” He said to her as he cocked his head to the people who had followed them on the sidewalk up to the light and were snapping pictures of them in the car.

“Jesus.” She huffed.

“Wait, where’s your stuff?”

“Oh I didn’t bring anything with me, just myself.”

“Not even your wallet or phone?”

“No, I mean, food and drink were provided and every person that I would be texting was there tonight.”

“Richard forbid you from bringing your phone, didn’t he?” Harry asked with a smirk and she sighed.

“OK, yes, he did…he said something about me sulking in the corner all the time or whatever.”

“You do look very unapproachable when you’re on your phone. You’ve got this like…broody, angry face going on.” He said trying to mimic it and she laughed loudly before they took off as the light turned green.

“That’s not my angry face, if anyone should be familiar with my angry face it’s you.” She reminded and he chuckled, “S’my concentration face. Like sometimes I get ideas and I start writing them in my notes or other times I’m reading a book or an article and it’s like so loud that it takes extra willingness to concentrate.” She explained and he smiled at her.

“Well maybe don’t read at parties.” He suggested and she glanced at him incredulously.

“If I don’t read at parties how will I maintain my reputation as mysterious and elusive, Harry?” She asked jokingly and he grinned.

“You’re so annoying.” He muttered as she giggled beside him.

“So where are we going?” She finally asked and he turned to her.

“Ummm, wherever you want to go.” He shrugged and she hummed pensively.

“Take me to…a place that means a lot to you.” She said and he chuckled.

“Here?!” He asked and she nodded, “God...this is my home, tons of places mean a lot to me.” He chuckled as he thought about it, “OK, I’ve got it. Hang on!” He warned with a big smile as he sped up and just made it onto the 405-S ramp. 

Y/N’s hair was whipping back with the wind as they sped down the freeway. He was blasting Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac which made her feel like she was the main character because before he played it he said it was dedicated to her elusiveness and mysteriousness, which she appreciated. Soon he was signaling to get off on La Cienega and as they continued driving down the street she saw the giant Randy’s Donut donut and she gasped.

“You know, I’ve  never actually been here before! Is this where we’re going?” She asked happily and he chuckled.

“It’s not, but we can stop if you want?”

“It’s alright.”

“You sounded so excited, like you wanted to stop. So I’m gonna stop.” He said as he started to slow down as they approached the entrance and she smiled at him.

“Well, if you insist…” she hummed and he chuckled. They found a spot to park and walked over to the window. It was 10pm but there were still a few people in line waiting to be served.  “What do you get?” She asked him.

“Usually the maple raised, wheat and honey cake, or the red velvet one if I’m feeling particularly fancy.” He said to her and she smiled.

“That does sound good…” she said as she peeked around a few people to get a better look at the menu displayed on a big screen inside. “They have a fruity pebbles one.” She gasped.

“Such a child.” He joked.

“I didn’t say I was going to get it. Fruity pebbles are just super nostalgic and they smell amazing.” She defended.

“That’s true, they do smell divine…”

“Oh, they have blueberry…that’s it. That’s the one I want.”

“OK.” He chuckled. 

As they stood in line Harry couldn’t help but notice that a few guys in the other line were ogling her a bit too much for his liking. They were obviously young since they were being obnoxious and loud, trying to get her to turn around, but she didn’t seem to be taking the bait. He leaned in closer to her and grabbed her hand, which caught her by surprise and she glanced up to him and he smiled down at her. 

“Is this OK?” He asked her lowly and she nodded as she scooted a little closer to him as a light breeze blew over them and made her shiver. She was in a thin little party dress and her platform boots and the night was only getting colder, they were due for more rain over the weekend. He wasn’t even wearing a jacket he could offer her so he just pulled her in front of him and hugged around her waist. He couldn’t help but smile as her hands came up to his and she slotted her fingers in between his. She smiled as his warmth pressed into her back  and she just leaned her weight back on him. He leaned down a bit to reach her ear before he spoke, “That’s what I mean when I said people are always trying to impress you.” He said quietly and her body shook with a giggle.

“How is being obnoxious impressive?”

“I literally have no idea.” He chuckled as they moved up in the line.

“Hi, I’m so sorry to interrupt.” They heard from beside them and turned to see a younger girl and her friend standing a few feet away, “We really like your album.” One of the girls said with a nervous smile.

“Oh! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.” Y/N smiled happily, but she kept her voice down as Harry let her go so she could talk to the girls who started gushing about how pretty she looked. Which they were right, she looked beautiful. 

Well, to Harry she always did, but she did just a little bit more when she had events and things to do. Often times he felt that when people did themselves up for events they went so overboard that they barely even looked like themselves, but not Y/N. She had mastered this effortless look that proved that a little goes a long way; she was almost ethereal. He liked that she didn’t care to hire a glam team to turn her into another Hollywood starlet clone; she and the rest of the band did most of their looks themselves. He recalls that at the BRITS earlier in the year she was crammed between him and Kassie, smearing some eyeshadow onto her eyelids and getting on her mascara just minutes before they would have to walk the carpet. Witnessing that made him like her even more. That was what drew him to them in the first place, their authenticity, and well if anyone was a champion of unapologetically being your authentic self it was her. She made everyone feel good about exactly who they were and he loved that about her.

“Harry, would you mind taking a picture for us?” She asked him and he shook his head.

“Course not.” He smiled as one of the girls handed over her phone to him. He took several and then handed it back.

“Can we get one with both of you too? You’re like a total icon.” The girl said to Harry and he shook his head bashfully.

“Hardly.” He said to her humbly as Y/N asked the person ahead of them to take their picture. After they got a few pictures the girls said their goodbyes and got back into the line. As soon as she and Harry stepped up he boxed her in between his body and the counter. “Hi, can I get a blueberry cake, red velvet cake, and a…large? Crewneck?” He said to the woman at the window and she nodded.

“What color for the crewneck? We have gray and navy blue.” She said.

“What color?” He asked Y/N softly and she glanced between him and the cashier.

“Oh! For me?”

“Yeah, you’re shivering and I don’t have anything in my car.” He said to her and she smiled at him.

“Ummm, I’ll get the gray one.” She said to the woman who nodded and then gave them the total before rushing off to grab their stuff. “I’m paying you back.”

“Absolutely not. This is your first time here, so think of it as a commemoration gift.” He said to her and she shook her head. “And if you ever try to pay me back I will return it to you in pennies.” He said and she laughed as she shook her head.

“You’re something else.”

“I know, love. I know.” He hummed.

“Here you are!” The woman said as she returned with the sweater and a baggy with their donuts.

“Thank you!” He and Y/N said simultaneously before walking off to the side. “Gimme these.” Harry said grabbing the donuts from Y/N and he gripped the bag between his teeth as he helped pull the crewneck over her head as she got her arms into the sleeves. Yes, it was oversized on her, but crewnecks were meant to be baggy, they just were. It was a bit long as well, it was a bit shorter on her than the dress she was wearing and it made him wonder what she’d look like in his own clothes. He liked wearing oversized things just as much as everyone else, so he’d imagine that she’d look absolutely swallowed and adorable in his hoodies. They walked back to his car hand in hand before they each had to get into their own sides and as they sat down she turned to him.

“I have to tell you something.” She said and he looked a little bit concerned but nodded, indicating for her to go on. “I really, really love that you don’t open the car door for me.” He looked at her with narrowed eyes, “I swear I’m not being a smart ass or sarcastic. Like when guys do that it just…bothers me because like…. I have functioning arms, you know? Like I can do that myself, I don’t need help! And it’s not like one of those general polite things, like holding the door open for someone who’s behind you! Like that makes sense, because it’s more than one person coming through the door! But in the car only one person can get into the passenger side so why does someone else even think to touch my door?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I can see you’re very passionate about this.” He grinned and she sighed and nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I am…for some weird reason. It’s just relieving and it just might be by favorite thing about you.” She decided and he grinned.

“Seriously? My unwillingness to participate in benevolent sexism is your favorite thing about me?” He asked for clarification and she smiled.

“Yes.” 

“It can’t be anything else?” He asked and she rolled her eyes up as she hummed pensively.

“Mmmm… no. That’s it.” She confirmed and he chuckled.

“I’ll check again at the end of the night if that’s your favorite thing about me.” He said smugly and she turned to him with a grin.

“What’s that supposed to mean? What are you insinuating?” She questioned and he smirked.

“You’ll see…” he hummed as he started the car and they took off. They only drove a few more minutes before Y/N saw the Sizzler’s on her left and then the Forum right up ahead. “Oh…interesting.” She said and he smiled at her.

“Yeah.” He said to her and she hummed, really anxious now to see why this particular place meant a lot to him. They kept driving straight and went around the back of the lot and he wheeled to a stop. It was desolate tonight, which was rare. He put the car in park and she turned to him and he smiled.

“So when I was 14 we came here on a family vacation. Like my parents and sister and aunt and uncle cousins…I’m the baby of the family by the way.” He disclosed and she smiled as he shared this, “So…my oldest cousin discovered that Coldplay had a show and he’d missed their show in England and he wanted to go. My sister was also a fan and I mean, I was too.”

“Yeah, it’s Coldplay!” Y/N said and he chuckled.

“Exactly! So my cousin convinced the adults to let us get tickets, they didn’t want to bring me along because I was the youngest, but I wanted to go. Anyway, saw Coldplay, my first concert ever.” He said and she smiled, “And afterwards we were waiting to get picked up, but my stepdad got lost and ended up going another way so we were just hanging out, right over there because it was well lit.” He pointed to where the trailers and trucks were usually set up, “My cousin and sister went up to see the merch and I just waited there, with my other cousin like they told me to.” He recalled, “And then out of nowhere a couple girls started panicking and Chris and Will walk on over to say hello.”

“No way!” Y/N giggled with surprise and he nodded.

“Yeah! And he was so kind to everyone. I didn’t have anything with me to get a photo or an autograph. But I was the only child there so he gravitated my way, asked where I was from and he was happy to hear that we were from England. And me being the brazen kid I was, I told him I also sang and wanted to start a band with my friends from school, like they did. And he told me that he was rooting for me, to believe in my music, and to never give up on my music. And…so I never did.” He finished his story and she was smiling so brightly. His story was so wholesome it made her eyes well up, that was so beautiful! What an experience to have with someone.

“That’s so amazing, Harry. Like so fucking cool!” She said with excitement and he hummed and nodded.

“I got really lucky that night.” He said softly “And well, whenever I get stuck or feel insecure or like I’m losing my touch I come here and it reminds me to never give up on my music. To continue believing in myself…so that’s why this place means a lot to me.”

“And well, you’ve produced for Coldplay now. Did he remember you?” She asked and he chuckled.

“He kind of did, mostly because I was a British child at one of their LA shows.” He said as they laughed softly, “He didn’t remember what we had spoken about or anything specific. And I did tell him and thank him because, if he hadn’t said that to me I’d definitely be in a whole other world, you know? It was cool and so fucking unreal for someone like me to have that full circle moment that so many people never get.” He expressed and she nodded, “And you know, those of us that get to spend our lives drowning in our passion, making art, literally getting paid to live and experience the best life has to offer just so that we can commemorate it with our art…like we’re so fortunate and so fucking lucky. It’s hard to remember that sometimes with the dark sides of this industry or even just the fame. But this is the best thing that will ever happen to you, Y/N. And what you do now that you have this platform matters more than ever. And that’s why I like you and the band, you guys are so down to earth, you’re in it for the art, you’re in it to have fun, you’re all so genuine and yourselves…never change that. Because as long as you stay in tune with yourself, even when you get stuck or feel like giving up, you’ll find your way back.” He said with certainty. And as he looked back to her she was watching him intently and then nodded in understanding at what he’d just advised. “Sorry, that got super deep, super fast-”

“It’s alright. I mean, we were bound to get deep when I asked you to bring me someplace meaningful to you.” She said and he shrugged and smiled.

“True…”

“And I know that I’ve got this like look about me that screams “I learn on my own” and “I don’t care what anyone says”, but it’s just that, a look. I promise that after the whole thing with Dr. Auclair I started taking in and listening and considering everything you’ve said to me. So I just want you to know that I listened to what you’ve just said to me, and thank you because after feeling so overwhelmed by everything tonight I just… I really needed to hear that. And I’m not going to forget it.” She shared and he smiled as he reached for her hand she smiled as he slotted their fingers together. “H, hand me the aux.” she said and he grabbed his phone and gave it over and she turned the phone away from him to type something out and then she locked it before grabbing his hand again and second later “Champion of the World” started to play over the car’s speaker and he smiled down at his lap before turning his head to look at her.

“Nice one.” He said softly and she smiled brightly at him. She was in love with the way he was looking at her in this moment. Her smile slowly started to fade as she just took him in intently. She was memorizing the details of his perfectly sculpted face, memorizing the indecipherable feeling he was emitting through his eyes. Whatever it was, it was undoubtedly a good feeling. She started to lean in and he joined her in the middle as their lips met with blazing passion as these big, beautiful emotions surged through and between them. “Do…” he paused as his lips smashed into hers once more, “d’you wanna…go back t’mine?” He rushed out with his exhale before their lips met again. He felt her nod ‘yes’ but he wanted to hear her say it. He need to, so that he knew for a fact that he wasn’t imaging that Y/N, this marvelous and radiant person, wanted him too. “Hmmm?” He insisted.

“Yeah.” She mumbled, “Take me home.” She said quietly. It was so hard to tear away from her after she said that to him.

It was just a 20 minute drive to his house in the hills and the whole time they held hands. Once they got there they wasted no time in getting inside and to his bedroom. They were undressing on the way there. It was giggly and clumsy because for some reason she was leading while Harry called out directions to her, but her unfamiliarity with his space was showing as she bumped into things along the way. When she finally got to his room he picked her up from behind and flung her onto his bed. She shrieked as she landed on the mattress with a muted thump. Harry soon climbed over her and kissed her through his smile.

“You’re so fucking pretty.” He hummed into her lips and she smiled. “I can’t get over it.” He exhaled before they started making out again. 

Y/N whimpered as his erection rubbed over her dribbling pussy. Well, over her panties, but she was so sensitive that he might as well have been rubbing himself bare through her folds. A wave of warmth pulsed through her body as his lips moved down her neck. She arched her back as he started to snake his hands under to get her bra unclasped. He did so quickly and dexterously before pulled it away from her body and sucked her nipple into his mouth. She hummed with pleasure as the other was fondled with intent. He wasn’t being delicate with her and she loved that. 

“Oh fuck…” she chuckled as he bit down on her nipple for a few seconds before sucking it hard. She was so wet for him that she was squirming as her cunt throbbed and pulse with need, “Harry. Harry, please.” She keened as she tried to find his hips with her own, “Need you inside. I need to feel you so bad.” She muttered into the dark as he sucked his mark on her breasts.

“Need me, baby?” He asked her before continuing to kiss down her body.

“Yes. Yes, I need you so bad…fuck.” She groaned as he kissed over her clothed cunt. He patted her thigh and she lifted her bum and he dragged her panties down her legs as he kissed right over her clit before licking through her slit and flicking her little bud a few times. “Harry, fuck that’s so good!” She whimpered. His licks started getting heavier and languid, sloppier even. She could feel his stubble and mustache tickling her already hypersensitive pussy as he moved his head from side to side with intent. Y/N tangled her fingers in his hair as she thrusted up to his mouth, grinding herself against him. She noticed that he grew more whiny and vocal as she used him and tugged at his hair and it made her even more aroused.

“You like when I use you to get off?” She asked and his lips turned up in a smile as his eyes fluttered up to hers, “I’ll take that as a yes.” She hummed before biting her lip and moaning, “Fuck, that’s perfect!” She praised him as he sucked her clit, brushing his tongue over it each time he’d suck it in, “Fuck…” She sighed with a smile, “y’suck my clit so good.” She panted as her tummy tightened deliciously with pleasure, “You’re gonna make me come!” She whimpered and he moaned against her, causing her toes to curl as her walls started to pulse hard and fast as she vibrated from the inside out. “Oh fuck!” She shrieked as Harry sunk two fingers into her without a warning and started to fuck her in time with his sucks on her clit. Not slowing down for a moment as she started to come.

Her hips wriggled around and her back arched as she trembled as he pulled yet another orgasm out of her without even letting her come down form the first one. Her ears were ringing and she was covered in goosebumps as the waves of pleasure rippled through her. Finally he started to slow down and then gently eased his fingers out of her.

“Taste so good, baby.” He hummed against her mound before kissing and crawling back up to her mouth. As soon as he was within reach she crashed her mouth onto his.

“That was the best head…holy fucking shit. That thing you did with the sucking and the tongue?!” She expressed with a bewildered smile.

“Enough to update your favorite thing about me?” He asked with a grin and she hummed pensively.

“I think not.” She said and he chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re such a turd.”

“Thank you.” She grinned and he chuckled. “Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I like still want to have sex with you. Like really badly.” She said and his eyes widened as he chuckled.

“Yeah, ummm, sorry I was just giving you a little break.” 

“I don’t take breaks.” She hummed as he leaned over to grab a condom from his bedside table.

“Well, good to know.” He smirked as he knelt up to get it on himself as she repositioned herself against his pillows. Watching him roll down the condom with lustful eyes and a kiss-bitten lip held down beneath her teeth. He was so fucking perfect that it was almost physically painful. And well, Y/N could admit that he was also perfect inside, like where it counted. She pressed herself to sit up and pushed herself up to pull his head down to meet him in a deep and searing kiss. He let himself fall into it and continued his task blindly. When he shifted above her she laid back down as he guided his cock down to her entrance where he gently prodded at her leaking and tight little hole a handful of times before he surged into her. His thick cock pushed her walls apart as he glided in, in one fluid motion.

“Harry!” She gasped, back arched and body tense as he plunged in to the hilt with very little resistance, “Mmmmm you’re so deep!” She whimpered lowly.

“S’that where you wanted to feel me, baby? Are you getting what you wanted? What you need from me?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yes, Harry…” she sang breathily as he started to pulse his hips, his tip nudged into her g-spot over and over and over, her breath was hitching and her legs trembling.

“Fuck, you’re squeezing so hard…” he hummed in delight, “Come for me, baby. Cream on my cock.” He panted and she moaned loudly at his filthy words as she came undone. She was coming so hard, she’d never had an orgasm solely from having her g-spot stimulated, it was game changing. A pressure had formed inside of her that she had never felt before, but it was as he had said, that’s exactly where it ached for him and he was satiating that perfectly.

His thrusts slowed down as she settled from her orgasm, but he kept going, slow and deep, not really letting the entire feeling fade. Extending and milking the pleasure for her as far as humanly possible. And it was happening as he groaned and picked up his pace. When he started going he knocked his head back and grunted with each deep pump of his cock into her. She was so wet, the sounds of her arousal sopping her up for him were unreal, she’d never been that wet before. She was certain of it. 

“I’m so close. Getting so close.” He groaned lowly as his hips started to snap harder with each dip into her pussy. One of his hands slid up from her waist to her breast, kneading it and playing with it as he brought them both closer and closer to the final orgasm. She was a fucking goddess, he wanted to obsess over her until he had learned every single detail of who she was. “Fuck, rub your little clit. Want you to come with me.” He said and she immediately did as he said. Her orgasm started to build at double speed than before. She was quickly right on the edge with him, holding on just a little bit more, trying to get the most out of this moment together until their bodies demanded their climax. “Oh shit…oh…oh… fuuuuuck.” He grunted before he started to moan as his orgasm overcame him. His desperate thrusts and gorgeous sounds pushed her over the edge. The fact that he was vocal enhanced everything for her, it brought a feeling of pleasure to her that she’d never experienced. As they lay there in satisfaction, recovering from those incredible, earth shattering orgasms she spoke up.

“I like that you’re not shy with your sounds. It’s really attractive.” She hummed as she ran her finger nails down his arm that was draped over her body.

“You know, I usually am more of a heavy breathing kind of guy. But with you being how you are, I don’t know, I just felt like I didn’t have to hold anything I felt back.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah…you can, do that with me, you know? For like anything you need…Not hold back I mean.” She added, “You can not “hold back” with me anytime and for anything.” She rephrased and he was just smirking as she tried to un-confuse herself. She only stopped when she felt his body shaking before he burst into laughter.

“I got what you meant the first time, baby.” He assured and she shook her head as she laughed. “And I want that for you too. To not hold back with me.”

“OK. I won’t.” She smiled as she confirmed this to him.

After that night everything between Y/N and Harry changed. Any rational human would think that falling in love after one night together was completely insane, but that’s exactly what had happened. The two spent time together every single day up until the day Y/N and her band left for tour. With his newfound time alone he decided to follow through with auditioning for that film he was asked to compose for and after a few nerve-racking weeks he’d found out he’d gotten the part. Obviously, Y/N was happy for him and they celebrated over FaceTime. But now that he had a new gig he needed to just take some time to get the compositions together. 

Harry worked diligently on the film score for three months. He only needed 4 pieces as there would be other songs weaved through out the film. And then it was off to filming. Filming was in Canada and that went on for 8 months. Y/N had been able to visit after the band’s tour ended, but it was just for two weeks as they were heading back into the studio soon. And just like that it had been a year apart. Because he was working on his film, he couldn’t produce their next album, though during their down time over the next holiday he did give it a listen and share some insights with her. And then the following March he got some bad news from back home about his father and he headed back for a few weeks. 

When he returned he was really upset about it, but he had solely come to break up with Y/N. His dad didn’t have very long apparently and he’d been away for so long that he decided that he needed to be there with him for as long as he could. He was going to look after him until the end. And well, Y/N completely understood why he wanted and needed to do that. It was sad, but amicable. And for the first few months they continued their routine of chatting regularly, but she soon discovered that it was just prolonging her pain. She wrote a song from it that she called “Good Grief”. It was about grieving the beautiful things, remembering them with love, and simultaneously talking about it being hard to let things like that go. That song launched them into an entirely new era and things took off for the band which ended up putting even more distance between the two. Harry also didn’t move back to LA, so they didn’t even have a chance to easily see each other and with each decision pulling them further apart they inevitably fell out of touch. 

It was three years after their break up now and the two were doing well. Y/N was about to be engaged. Well, she assumed she was. Her boyfriend, Riley had been extra odd all week and her friends and family were oddly unavailable so she was expecting it. Harry had just moved back to LA after all that time, he just needed a change of pace after looking after his dad for one year and then dealing with the aftermath of it all for the next few. He was excited to come back, reconnect with some old friends…and of course, talk to Y/N. He hadn’t moved on, he hadn’t loved anyone like he had loved her and he just wanted to be back in her life, in nay capacity. She was it for him, he knew that for certain.

It was a day like any other, except for one thing…she was craving a donut. But not just any donut, a red velvet donut from Randy’s. She knew it was completely ridiculous to be driving out to Inglewood at 4pm for a donut, but she was alone for the evening and had nothing better to do since apparently everyone in her life was mysteriously busy. She got in line for the drive thru and as she glanced out of her window absentmindedly she saw a very familiar face walking over to the back of the line. She smiled wide and her heart did flips and her stomach fluttered with butterflies at the sight of him. Of seeing him here of all places. Her mind went back to that night he brought her here. How perfectly wonderful that had been.

“Harry!” She shouted out the window and he glanced in her direction and his lips widened in a smile as he waved. “I’m gonna get out!” She shouted and he shot her a thumbs up and got out of the line to meet her where she parked. She rushed out of her car and straight into his arms. He hugged her tight and spun her around as they laughed and greeted each other with enthusiasm. “Wow! How insane to be running into you here!” 

“I know…” he shook his head.

“What brings you to LA?” She asked.

“I’m moving back actually. Just touched down and figured a little detour wouldn’t hurt.” He said and her eyebrows raised.

“Oh, that’s good. It’ll be nice to have you within reach.” She said with a smile and he nodded, “I’m sorry about everything with your dad. I wanted to call or something, but I didn’t know if I even had the right to since we haven’t talked in a long time.” She explained herself. 

“You always have a right, Y/N. Love of my life, remember?” He said and she smiled.

“Light of my life.” She said as she reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. 

They got their donuts and talked for a bit before they headed off. She waited a few days and this intense need to see him again didn’t go away. So she talked to the band about it, they knew each of them the best and well, they all agreed that maybe they needed a better form of closure. So she reached out to Harry and asked him if he wanted to go for lunch. And he accepted, which is what led them to their meet up at Seabird’s Kitchen.

“You look pretty.” He complimented her as he hugged her quickly.

“Thanks. I rushed over from a meeting I had this morning.”

“Ah, work attire.”

“Yeah.” She giggled, “So how are you settling in? Are you back at the old house?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Nah, got something smaller. Got rid of that place a few years back.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know.” She pouted, “So many amazing memories there.” She hummed and Harry nodded. 

“So what’s up?” He asked her and she sighed.

“Well…as you know, what we had together it was…magic. Literally heaven on earth.”

“We were pretty perfect weren’t we?” He smiled fondly and she nodded.

“Yeah…and ummmm, well I’ve never really been able to 100% move on because well…there were just a lot of things left unsaid because we kind of broke up and then you went back home. And I guess I just…didn’t want to talk to you about that when I knew that you were dealing with so much already.” She explained and he hummed. “I guess I just needed closure on a few things because…well, I ummm….” She swallowed thickly, she had no idea why she felt guilty saying this to him, but it just felt wrong to tell Harry this information, it didn’t make any sense, “I think I’m getting engaged really soon.” She said and his eyebrows shot up.

“Oh!” He said and quickly morphed his surprise into a smile instead of the frown that was clawing itself to the surface, “Congrats!” He smiled brightly. He knew that she had a boyfriend…but he doesn’t know why it never felt real to him. Maybe because he hadn’t heard it from her own two lips. Or perhaps because he was far away so it didn’t feel like a reality to him? Who knows, but reality hit him over the head with that one and he could feel his heart breaking over her once again.

“Thank you.” She forced her smile as best as she could. As she looked down at his hand she could very easily picture herself holding it in hers. She could see herself enjoying it and her heart warming as she pictured their fingers interlacing together. As if no time at all had ever passed. It made her feel afraid now as all of it started rushing back to her.

“Hey, are you alright?” Harry asked her and she nodded.

“Yeah, I just got distracted.” She shook her head, “Ummm, well anyway I just wanted to I guess give us the proper goodbye we deserved.” She said and he nodded with a broken heart but he stayed for 3 hours, catching up, joking around, talking, reminiscing until it was time to go. Harry was walking Y/N to her car since she had parked quite far down the street. And when they got to her car she had him hop in so that she could give him a ride back to his car. And they hummed to her music playing from her phone as they made the short drive over, and soon they were just saying their goodbyes. He was hugging her over the console, mentally saying a different kind of goodbye to her that was making his heart wilt in his chest. They were about to pull back when “Champion of the World” started to play and she smiled as she relaxed in his hold before pulling back a bit, their foreheads pressing together and it felt like no time had passed at all.

“We’ve been here before.” He whispered and she hummed in confirmation as her eyes fluttered shut to give herself a moment. This was hurting far more than she expected it to. It felt like they were breaking up all over again and this time it was her choice and he was complacent in her decision. It felt wrong to be saying goodbye to each other twice. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna fall out of love with you.” He said softly and her eyes fluttered open and she slightly frowned as she looked from his eyes to his lips a couple of times before just doing what her intrusive thoughts had been telling her to do since he’d shown up this afternoon. She surged forward and slotted her lips against his. 

Harry didn’t hesitate to kiss back. One deep kiss led them to a stolen peck, then another, and then a deeper kiss, and more and more. It felt like they were kissing to makeup for the three years they hadn’t been able to kiss. There was still so much love between them, Y/N supposes it had just been dormant this entire time he was gone. And she had indeed missed how it felt to be completely and undeniably gone for someone. There wasn’t another thought running through her mind in that moment, so as they pulled away she knew that she was still in love with him. She had been this whole time.

“Fuck…sorry.” He whispered and she shook her head.

“I kissed you, so it’s alright. I’m sorry, if I kissed you and you didn’t want to kiss me.” She apologized.

“I’d never not want to kiss you.” He chuckled and she smiled with a heat in her cheeks from his flirtations. “Do you regret it yet?” He asked teasingly and she shook her head, but she wasn’t smiling. She was completely serious.

“I can’t regret anything that happens between us. It’s just a proper goodbye, yeah?” She said sadly and he nodded wordlessly.

“Hey, you better invite me to the wedding. Just because it’s not me, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there or that I’m not happy for you. OK?”

“OK.” She smiled and with that he got out and they went their separate ways.

She cried the entire way home and she felt completely heart broken. Like she had lost him all over again and she couldn’t be getting married to someone when she was in love with someone who wasn’t the person she was supposed to marry.  She was so absolutely confused and it was affecting her work horribly. They were in the middle of some writing sessions for their next album and she was not being even a little bit helpful. Her mind was elsewhere. And it was like that for two whole weeks and everyone was fed up with her. 

“Dude what is wrong with you?” Kassie asked her and she groaned.

“I don’t know…I’m really distracted.” She fibbed and everyone sighed, “I just…can’t do this today. Sorry, guys.” She said before gathering her things and heading out. When she got to her apartment Riley was there  making dinner and it made her heart sad that it wasn’t Harry.

“Hey, love!” He smiled and the smile faded as soon as he saw her face.

“Ummm, he’s back. And I asked to see him.” She said to Riley who sighed. He had been there through the entire break up, between her and Harry. At the time he was a session musician who’d been hired to play on one of their songs. But he was so nice and thoughtful. But he also knew the love that she and Harry shared for each other. In a way he always expected their paths to cross again, but he’d just hoped that it wouldn’t affect her. But he still did, in every way apparently.

“When are you seeing him?”

“It was two weeks ago.” She said and he nodded. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I was just hoping to get some closure on some stuff. But then I…I realized that I’m still in love with him. And I kissed him.” She confessed everything, “I’m really sorry.”

“Jesus, Y/N.” Riley said with disappointment.

“I know…I should’ve told you right away but I was trying to figure out what I should do.”

“There’s only one thing to do, Y/N. You said you’re in love with him.” Riley shook his head, “You know, I always knew this would happen some day.” He said lowly, “I was stupid for thinking you’d pick me though.” He said as he made his way towards the couch and grabbed his sweater and he furiously slipped into his sneakers, “Please, don’t call me when this all blows up in your face.” He said with spite before he slammed the door hard on his way out. 

She frowned, obviously she deserved that, but he was a good guy. He hadn’t done anything wrong, he just….wasn’t the love of her life. Maybe she was foolish for thinking that things could start back up with Harry. Well, it’d been a few years, they’d been through plenty of things on their own, it was safe to say that they were pretty different people now. But the way things felt were exactly the same, it wasn’t just nostalgia. Being with him made her feel alive and in control and like everything would be alright. She was a bit stuck with her next step, as she weighed out her options. She sighed and decided to take a drive to the place that always helped her think.

The sun was setting as she placed her hands on the white rails of the Forum parking lot. After Harry left she’d made it her special place to come think. He had given this place a new meaning to her and it felt like the best place to decide on whether that goodbye they had was the final one or if she should give in to her desires and go after him. She stood there for a few minutes, just the sounds of the city around her.

“Why am I not surprised to see you here?” She heard and turned around to see Harry in his shorts and hoodie, smiling brightly and she smiled back.

“What brings you here?” She asked.

“Feeling a bit stuck…And you?”

“Same.” She responded. They were quiet for a little bit before she spoke up, “I think we’re feeling stuck over the same thing.” She said to him and he glanced to her, his eyes soft as he looked over to her.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Whether it’s too late for us or not.” She said softly and he hummed as he looked at her.

“Well what do you think?” He asked and she bit her lip.

“I told Riley we kissed…he told me not to call him.” She said and he frowned.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” She said softly and he glanced up into her eyes with a gleam of hope, “I’ve been in love with you this whole time. Waiting for you. I want us back. I-if you’ll still have me.” She offered a hopeful smile and he grabbed her face and leaned in to kiss her.

“Course I’ll have you.” He hummed with a smile, “You’re the love of my life.” He said softly and she smiled against his lips.

“And you’re the light of my life.” 

As always, all feedback is appreciated!

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Read my other writing here...

[suttonstrackesdrinkingproblem]

Hi guys I know many won't see this but I have to get this off my chest. As an OG rusher (2010) I'm extremely disappointed in half of the band views (James and Carlos). I've known about James' pro Israel stance since last year and I have retweeted stuff about it and even unfollowd on everything. I've also known about Carlos being a Trump supporter as well but I shrugged it off since Big Time Rush isn't (and shouldn't be imo) a political band. However once James decided to speak out so wrongfully about the genocide and war in Palestine it all changed. It was hard for me to accept because I've been a fan of them for literally 14 years and they're an important part of my life, even introduced my nephew to them right before they got back together and we saw them in 2022, which is and will always be the best night of my life. But after this election and knowing someone I loved since I was a little girl voted against my rights....it's a hard pill to swallow. Big Time Rush came back to me right when I needed them in 2021 after finding out my mom had colon cancer. She passed in April 2022 and BTR really helped with her passing especially with seeing them in concert with my nephew just 3 months later. They've always been such a great distraction from the real world. I'm so heartbroken about all this 💔 I'm still a rusher and always will be, but idk if I can ever financially support the band ever again. I don't even have positive feelings about them right now. I might be taking a break from this fandom and band for a bit. I still love the band itself and even still have love for Carlos and James in a nostalgic type way but idk..I just can't right now.

[abeautylives]

Times I Remember Well

(and Some That I Don’t)

Part 3

author’s note: Thank you for reading this ridiculous story. Now for the good stuff.

pairing: female!OCxjake

time frame: 2016-2018

word count: almost 7.8k this part

warnings: language, underage drinking (implied), mentions of sex and sexual situations, nudity, oral (m. and f. receiving), unprotected penetrative sex

You know how most people’s lives change pretty drastically when they move away for college?

What, were you expecting me to claim that I was different, special in some way?

I’m not.

If you’re wondering, Sam and I were fine. I guess he’d matured enough to keep speaking to me when he found out I’d almost fucked his brother. I was still immature enough to give him a classic three day long silent treatment over the whole Sam said he thought you were fucking that guy you dated thing.

I even made him agree to never bring me up to Jake again. Ever.

Anyway, my first semester of college kind of kicked my ass. I was smart enough, but I couldn’t decide on a major and it made the whole experience feel like a waste of time. I didn’t meet anyone worth much of my effort to get to know, and I spent a lot of nights alone in my dorm room. I barely even liked my roommate. Meanwhile, Sam was at home breezing through his last year of high school and preparing to actually go on tour.

Like a real tour. It was my worst nightmare. And I had to hear all about it when I came home for winter break. 

But he was excited, of course he was. And I was proud of him. And Josh, and Danny. I couldn’t bring myself to have positive feelings for Jake. After he’d rejected and embarrassed me (again), I’d run off to school determined to lose my v-card to literally anyone who’d never been to Frankenmuth or heard of their band. Fortunately for me, almost no one had heard of either.

So, I did. And Matthew Nowak had been a very cursory and lazy fuck, but he got the job done. I mean, he popped the cherry or whatever, he didn’t make me come, and I never gave him another opportunity to try.

I almost didn’t even go home for Christmas, my dad had been begging me to come see him, but I knew if I didn’t go home, I might never see my best friend again.

Was that a little dramatic? Sure, but the dates for tour were going to start around my birthday, before he even graduated, and he wouldn’t be home for the entire summer. There were talks of getting signed, to a fucking label. Releasing their music to the world. Jake’s dreams were coming true and he was stealing my best fucking friend from me.

He really was an asshole.

I went back to school in the spring a little sad, nostalgic for a time when things were easy and fun, and I always had a weekend smoke sesh in the Kiszka garage to look forward to. There was nothing for me to look forward to in Ann Arbor. Until I met Soph.

Sophie and I were paired up within the first few days of one of our classes, and thank God we were. We clicked instantly, she was almost like a female version of Sam with even better hair.

She got me out of my slump, out of my dorm room and out of my own head.

As we started hanging out more outside of class, we learned about each other’s lives at home, and she let me talk endlessly about Sam. About moving away from Traverse and finding the best friend I’d ever had, growing up with him, becoming an adult at his side.

I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but eventually I ran out of stories and didn’t feel the need to talk about him much anymore.

For a few months, we worked hard and partied harder, and I felt more and more like myself, or my new self, with her help. My new self must have been putting out certain vibes that attracted attention, because I wasn’t hurting for it. Not that I really had back home, but home had narrowed my view, the Kiszkas my whole world. Even when I did date boys, Sam was there to tell me he didn’t like them, then Josh was there shining brighter than the sun, blinding me to them.

Then Jake was there. Ruining me for everyone else, just by existing.

In Ann Arbor, Soph had the opposite effect. Every guy was cute, cute enough to talk to, flirt with, party with. A select few were hot enough to make out with, let them touch our bodies, we would touch theirs. Dance with them, let them pull us close, throw our arms around them and tell them to take us somewhere quieter. 

There was that one time, I’d gone back to this guy’s dorm and he’d put a playlist on shuffle. Ya know, so we wouldn’t be heard. And right before I put his dick in my mouth, fucking Highway Tune started playing. 

Instant no. I left him there with a hard-on and zero promises of returning.

But anyway, Soph and I had fun every weekend, studied every weeknight. By the end of the second semester, we’d decided on my major, and made sure we would share more classes in the fall.

When summer break rolled around, we spent the first half with her family in Grand Rapids and the second, reluctantly, with my mom. Home was weird without Sam, but he was off galavanting across the U.S. Communication between us had been sparse, though he did call me once every few weeks to fill me in, and let’s be honest, brag. I didn’t mind the bragging, much, but even with how well things were going at school, I’d have given anything to drop it all and be with him. 

Even if it meant tolerating Jake. 

Life goes on, time keeps on slipping, the wheel in the sky keeps on turning and all that. 

College was hard, but Soph and I really buttoned up in the fall. More studying, fewer boys, a little less fun, but Michigan gets cold fast and running wild all over campus didn’t hold the same appeal. We vowed to live it up in the spring, maybe settle down and get some boyfriends. Maybe not.

“Holy shit holy shit!”

We were in the library, Soph across the table from me with wide eyes, laptops, books and notes spread out between us.

“Shhh! What? What the fuck?” She leaned in conspiratorially and I turned my phone around to show her the screen. 

“They’re playing in Detroit. They’re coming home!”

“Will you be quiet? Who, Sam’s band?”

That made me laugh every time. I always called it Sam’s band, because he would’ve loved it and someone else I knew would have loathed it.

They hadn’t been home in forever, they were hardly even in the states, and when they’d played the Fillmore in the spring I’d been so bogged down with new classes and so much fucking homework, I couldn’t justify leaving campus let alone the city. 

But they were coming back, and I’d be on winter break. Sam had sent me their schedule, which I’d thrust into Soph’s hands.

“Aww, reunion! I wish I could go with you.” Her pouty face was unmatched, but she was going with her parents to visit family in Ohio for the holidays. For a moment, that realization made me panic. I wanted to go, needed to see my best friend, but to do it alone? Why did that make me nervous?

Maybe because I hadn’t seen him in two years. Maybe because I hadn’t seen him in more than two. I doubted I’d even get to spend much time with Sam, and I doubted further that I’d be able to get him away from the others.

Not that I wouldn’t want to hang out with Danny, or even Josh. But… well, you know.

I wondered if they were going home for the brief break between Detroit and Seattle, and I made a mental note to ask Sam. 

I’d insisted on buying my own ticket to the show, their third added at the Fox after the first two sold out, but Sam wouldn’t hear of it. He set me up with a ticket and access to see them backstage, and I tried not to let it get to my head. It's not like they were famous or anything.

Selling out multiple shows.

I FaceTime’d Sophie so she could help me decide what to wear - I hadn’t put this kind of pressure on an outfit since the night I kissed… yeah, you saw how that went.

We landed on skin tight faux leather pants, an extremely low-cut black and tan floral print top with a fitted bodice and wide, flowy sleeves, and chunky black boots. I planned to top it off with a vintage fur coat Sam and I had found thrifting a few years back. We’d always joked that it originally belonged to the old lady they named their band after. 

“Okayyyyy, so what about your underwear?” 

I stopped spinning in front of my phone, where I’d been showing Sophie the whole get up.

“What the fuck do you mean, my underwear? Who cares?”

“Babe, it’s a rock show! What if you meet a super hot guy with like, tattoos and a tongue ring that wants to rock your world?” I watched her eyebrows waggle as she stuck her own tongue out at me. 

“Yeah I don’t think that���s really their demographic.” 

But… an idea started to form. Sexy underwear would make me feel sexy. Who would be irritated to see me, looking and feeling sexy, arguably hotter now than I’d ever been? Who would be downright furious to watch me get a little flirty, a little provocative with another man? Men? His brothers?

Ohhh, Jake Kiszka was gonna kill me. And it was gonna be worth it. 

The ticket Sam held for me was in the front fucking row. Of the seats, behind the pit floor, but still. How embarrassing, what if I didn’t know any of the words? I didn’t really listen to their music, not since I was in high school, watching them practice or play at Fischer.

As you can imagine, I didn’t need to worry. Every, single, song was familiar. Songs that they’d written or started writing when Sam was barely fifteen. But the people around me knew them all, better than I did actually. 

That was… pretty cool.

I left my seat as the guys were blowing kisses and throwing flowers into the crowd, stopped in a bathroom to check myself out, and followed Sam’s directions to make it backstage. The guys made it there before me, I could hear their excited voices from the hall as a security guard led me to their green room. We slowed as we got closer, and I stopped the guard before we reached the door, composing myself, slipping my coat off, smoothing my hair and controlling my expression. 

You should've seen his face when I walked through the doorway, slow clapping and wearing my best deadpan. They all turned their heads in my direction, but his face was the one I sought out. 

His cheeks were still flushed from the stage (he honestly goes crazy up there) but he immediately turned so bright pink I hoped his head would explode. 

“YOU’RE HERE! Holy shit, you’re here!” Sam rushed at me and instantly my feet were off the ground, he swung me around and I couldn’t help the smile that stretched wide as I laughed with him. 

“You’re sweaty! Put me down, idiot!” He dropped me to my feet and grabbed a hand, lifted it above my head and spun me in a circle.

“Look at you, you look hot, T!” His laughter cracked loud and joyous and my heart soared. He didn’t mean anything by it, of course, but he was right and I knew it.

Danny approached me next, taller and even broader than I ever remembered him being, and wrapped me up in another sweaty hug. “Good to see you, did you get tinier?” We laughed and I slapped him away. Then Josh caught my eye, arms crossed over his bare chest under an open black vest and leaning against the vanity, grinning. 

I moved toward him and he met me in the middle, opened his arms and threw them around me. He didn’t make fun of me, or comment on the way I looked. Our cheeks were pressed together and he turned his face and dropped a kiss to mine. “We’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you guys too, more than you know.”

He let me go and his grin stretched into a blinding smile. “What’d you think of the show?”

“It was fucking awesome, I can’t believe you guys are like, legit rockstars! Seems like yesterday you were jamming in your garage.” Sam sidled up and threw a long arm over my shoulders.

“To be fair, we didn’t really stop jamming in the garage until last year, T.”

I knew that, I guess. But I’d missed it, and I’d missed the moment my best friend grew up. But this wasn’t the time to get weepy about that. I still had a mission to accomplish.

Turning out of Sam’s hold, I faced him. He no longer looked apoplectic, but his nostrils were flared and his arms were crossed, one hand running a finger across his chin below pursed lips. His focus was distinctly somewhere on the floor, but I walked toward him and watched his eyes connect with my boots and then travel, slowly, all the way up my body. 

Get a good look, asshole.

And he did, his gaze lingered for a fraction of a second on my hips, and then again on my chest before it finally met my face.

Say something stupid, I dare you.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” 

My own eyes rolled in my skull. “Good to see you too, Jacob. How have you been?”

His features twisted in confusion for just a moment before he smoothed them back out. Good.

“Fantastic, living the dream, ya know. How have you been, Tiny?”

“Oh, really good!” I crossed one arm, tucking it under my tits and pushing them up while I twirled a finger through a strand of my hair with the other hand. “I’m majoring in English and Writing and aced all of my finals this past semester. Just really living my best on-campus life. Work hard, play hard and all that.”

It was so satisfying, the way he’d accidentally looked at my chest and then failed to look back at my face until I was done speaking. I swear to you my pussy fluttered when he swallowed, hard, before responding. It was that satisfying. 

“That’s- ahem, that’s great. Glad to hear it. Thanks for coming by to say hi or whatever but we need to pack up our gear and head to the hotel.”

Nice try.

“Oh, cool! I’d love to come with you guys, I just miss you all so much.” His face started turning pink again before I looked over my shoulder. “Sammy! Can I come with and hang out at the hotel? Just for a little bit?” I whipped my head back, my hair swinging with it, to see his face before Sam even answered.

I wanted to see if steam came out of his ears.

“Fuck yeah! You can crash with me if you want!”

One corner of my mouth lifted and curled. “Perfect!”

I regret to inform you that no steam came out. But I think it was pretty close.

When I pulled in at the hotel, I texted Sam and he told me they were in the lobby so I flipped my visor down, checked my face and fluffed my hair. After a deep breath, I got out of the car and made my way inside. 

The hotel wasn’t anything too ritzy, and I figured despite it all, they weren’t that famous. Sam still looked and sounded like the best friend I’d grown up with, though there was something about him that had become more attractive. All of them actually exuded more… sex appeal? 

Ugh, musicians. 

My timing was pretty good, I entered the building in time to catch them getting in the elevator, Jake being the last left in the lobby. But we caught each other’s eye and instead of walking on, he backed up a step. The doors closed and the elevator rose without him. 

He stood there, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, and waited for me to reach him. When I did, he spoke before I could. 

“What are you doing here, T?”

I painted confusion on my face instead of the pure gratification I actually felt. “Visiting my friends? What are you-“

“Cut the bullshit. It’s unbecoming.”

Okay, that was a little wrinkle in my plan. I hadn’t even started shamelessly flirting with anyone yet and he was already cursing at me. I doubled down.

“I came to see them, Jake.” I pressed the button to call the elevator back down and crossed my arms.

“And what about me?”

“What about you?” Just as I glanced up, feigning more interest in the LED display of numbers as the elevator came down than this conversation, he stepped closer and gripped my arm. Pulled me closer.

It felt familiar.

“I’m not buying it. Come on.” The elevator dinged and the doors opened to an empty car, but he was already pulling me down a hall toward a stairwell door. It swung open as he shoved through it, yanked me through and pushed me ahead of him, and it slammed shut behind us.

The stairwell was silent, our breathing was amplified and bounced off the walls. His voice made me flinch.

“Third floor. Go.”

Four flights of stairs and two landings separated me from their room. That was fine, I could do it.

Except he stayed behind me the entire time and didn’t speak a word. By the time I pushed the door to the third floor open, my nerves were fried and I was still trying to discern his reasoning for taking the stairs. If he had yelled at me or pushed me to the wall and kissed me in the stairwell, it would’ve made more sense. Instead, he placed a hand low on my back and led me down a deserted hallway to room 307. I breathed a shaky sigh of relief, ready to abandon the plan completely and run to Sam, use him as a personal human shield for the rest of the night.

But he pulled a key card out of his pocket and slid it into the lock, and the heavy door opened to a dark, empty room. 

Jake stepped inside and flicked on a light, holding the door open for me. I didn’t move.

“Jake, what-“

“Get in here, we need to talk.”

It sounded like a terrible idea, I hadn’t come here to talk. I came to spend time with Sam and do enough harmless flirting with the guys to drive Jake crazy. 

“No. Where are the guys?”

He just stared at me for a tense few seconds before he sighed impatiently. “In Sam and Danny’s room.”

“And which room would that be, exactly? I’ll just go knock-“

“Please.”

I know, I know. Did he really have to go and ask nicely?

“Fine, you know what? You have five minutes then I’m the fuck out of here.” He had the nerve to give me a tight-lipped smile, lift his palm and wave me in as I started to pass him and head into the room. Then he let the door swing shut.

We were alone.

The room was pretty standard, two queen-size beds, a table and two chairs. Not exactly rockstar shit. I tossed my coat onto the closest bed.

“You want a drink?”

I dropped into a chair, crossed my legs and folded my hands over my knee. “No, I don’t. What did you need to talk to me about? You have four minutes.”

He pulled a White Claw out of the mini fridge, popped the tab and sat at the end of the bed closest to me. After a swig from the can, he leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees. 

“Three minutes.”

“Jesus, give it a rest, T.” He pinned me with a glare and my eyes widened. “Don’t. Don’t act all affronted because you’re not getting your way, I’m sick of it.” 

“I don’t know what you mean, I-“

“Stop! Tell me why you’re really here.”

“To see Sam! I told you-“

He stood from the bed, leaned across me and slammed the can onto the table. I jumped in my seat, but then he bent down and gripped the arms of the chair on either side of me. Right in my face, he ripped me to shreds.

“I’m tired of this, T. Since day one, everything has always had to be all about you, your feelings, your stupid ideas, your fucking games.”

That was ridiculous and it straightened my spine, I sat up taller and put us nose to nose, but he didn’t stop.

“How many times have you come between us and Sam? Pitted us against each other? Run away when you didn’t get your way, with one of us or all of us?”

With a huff, he pushed himself away from me but now I was ready for a fight. Launching from the chair, my body followed his. “And what about you, Jake?  You spent years fucking with me, leading me on, just to humiliate me over and over again!”

“Is that really what you think?!” We were squared up now, hands flailing as we yelled in each other's faces. “I didn’t do shit, and you spent years avoiding me, making me feel awkward and unwelcome in my own house because God forbid I ever be in the presence of such a self-entitled, delicate fucking princess!”

“Oh, you fucking prick. Fuck you-“

“So eloquent, that’s really lovely Tiny.”

You already know that he said that on purpose.

“Don’t. Call. Me. That.” I was fuming, the steam was probably coming out of my ears, and that pissed me off further. Everything about this was infuriating, my night completely off-railed, my time with my friends ruined. I was done.

I threw my hands up and then put them on his shoulders, with all intention to shove him out of my way and walk out of the room with some part of my dignity intact, for once.

But that’s not exactly what happened.

Because once I touched him, the tension reached a breaking point. And boy did it break.

Before I could push him away, his arms were around me, his hands spread across my back, and he pulled me in. 

Yep, he was kissing me. 

Our mouths slammed together and all the anger, all the fury, combusted between them.

My own hands betrayed me and shot from a grip on his shoulders to a grip in the hair at the back of his head, still slightly damp from sweat or a shower at the venue, I had no idea. And I didn’t care.

He ravaged my lips until they felt bruised, opened them with his and forced our tongues to battle for dominance, sucked the air from my lungs until I couldn’t breathe. I pulled away to drag some back in but he hardly gave me the chance, tugging me back in to kiss my lips, bite my jaw, murmuring between the attacks. 

“Why are you really here…”

His hands slid up my back and sunk into my hair, pulled my head to the side so he could continue his attack on my neck, my throat.

“Say it, the truth.”

My brain was in shut down, I forgot what words were and how to make them. His teeth reminded me, scraping along my skin.

“You. For you.”

His lips closed over mine again and he was moving me, two steps backward and we turned, the back of my knees hit the bed where he’d been sitting. Our mouths broke apart, our hands fell away. The sound of our breathing, fast and uneven, thundered between us.

“I’m not gonna stop this time, T.”

My heart stumbled over its next few beats.

“I don’t want you to.”

We fell back into silence as he reached forward and slid his hands up underneath my shirt, rough fingertips pushing the fabric up over my ribs, my chest, I lifted my arms and let him pull it over my head and shook my hair out as he let it drop to the floor. 

There was just enough light coming from the only one he’d flicked on, and the moonlight spilling through the uncovered window, that I saw his nostrils flare. His eyes trailed over my lace and silk covered chest before meeting mine.

“You’re so beautiful,” My breath caught, I held it. “I’ve never told you how beautiful you are.”

I couldn’t speak, emotion squeezing my throat, the words I’d always wanted to hear from him tightening every muscle in my body. So instead, I mirrored his actions and tucked my fingers under the hem of his t-shirt. Soft, heated skin met my touch and I flattened my palms over his hips, up over his stomach and I swear he trembled. Seriously! When they made it to his chest, I could feel the hard, steady beat of his heart, rapid beneath my hand. 

Maybe he knew I could feel it, maybe not, but he leaned in and pulled a soft, sweet kiss from my lips before he took over and tugged the shirt over his head. 

“Jake…” His chest and stomach were lightly toned and completely flawless, a glimpse of which I’d gotten when he was onstage, shirtless under an open jacket. I wanted to tell him just how perfect I thought he was, he’d always been, but the words wouldn’t come. So I bent my knees and dropped to the bed, the barely there happy trail leading up from the low waist of his pants now directly in front of my face.

I leaned forward and kissed it. A strangled noise came from above me, I smiled against his skin. Then his hand was in my hair and he pulled, forcing my face up. He smirked.

“You ever done this before?”

Asshole.

Blindly I reached for and found the button of his jeans, popped it open and worked his zipper down slowly. 

“Please don’t piss me off, or I won’t be nice.”

A chuckle rumbled through his chest. “Just making sure.”

His grip in my hair kept my chin tilted up, eyes locked with his. I peeled the denim over his hips and pulled it down to his knees. Heat rolled off his body in waves, I was dying to look at it, take it all in but there was fire in his stare and I was burning. My fingertips mapped out what I couldn’t see, found the subtle V that led down into his briefs and traced it before I tucked them under the elastic and rolled it down his legs. 

Jake Kiszka’s cock bobbed in the air between his hips and my face. Crazy, I know. I wrapped shaky fingers around him, felt how thick and hard he was before I’d even seen it, tried to picture what I could remember from his dark bedroom.

“Fuck, T.” I tightened my grip on him, just a little, stroked him once. His eyes slid shut.  “I can’t believe you’re here.” I stroked him again and his grasp on my hair loosened, my chin dropped and there it was. As perfect as the rest of him, his dick was big, the head flushed pink. My mouth watered.

For real.

In that moment, I wondered quickly what he liked, how fast, how slow, how hard? My tongue slid out and tasted him, just the very tip, and he snatched my hair up again. The sting in my scalp made my eyes water and I opened my lips and took him in, wrapped them around him and swirled my tongue over his skin. He whimpered.

I could be remembering that wrong, but I swear he did.

He wanted to take control, I could feel it in the smallest amount of pressure from his knuckles on my scalp, but I wanted to be stubborn. I was tired of the control he seemed to have over every one of our interactions. I released him with a soft pop and his eyes shot open. 

“C’monnn,” he groaned. I took my hand off of his dick and pushed him back, he almost stumbled, his legs still trapped in his half-removed jeans. I stood from the bed, spun us around and reversed our positions, then pushed him by the shoulders to sit.

“Patience, Jake, patience.” I flicked the front clasp of my bra open and felt the unrestrained relief as my tits spilled out, then that flutter of satisfaction as his eyes went wide right before going soft and dreamy. What can I say, Jake’s a breast man. “Aht.” He’d reached for them, lifted his hands like he just couldn’t wait to feel them again, but they paused in midair. “I said patience.”

He huffed out a sigh and dropped them, so I continued. Made a little show out of unzipping my boots, sliding them off and peeling the skin-tight material of my pants down my legs. His fingers flexed against his thighs the entire time, clenching into fists and releasing over and over. I waited until I was left in just the lacy thong to instruct him to remove his pants. 

His boots were kicked off and denim tossed away in an instant.

And there we were again. Jake, fully bared to me while we stared at each other, my tits out and pussy covered. But this wasn’t going to end the way it did two years ago. 

Not if I had anything to say about it.

I dropped to my knees and his legs spread, making room for me to kneel between them. His cock jumped when I touched him, just my fingertips, up his shins and over his kneecaps before I placed my palms flat on his thighs. When I peeked up at him through my lashes, he was staring hard, jaw clenched and nostrils flared again. So I continued to trace my fingers over his skin, further up his thighs, over his hips, up and down his happy trail. 

Through gritted teeth, “Baby, please.”

Baby? I was throbbing, slick between my thighs already but that hit me like lightning.

I wrapped a fist around him at the base and took him all the way to the back of my throat.

I had to. 

A string of rough curses fell from his lips and a hand tangled in my hair, but I kept my composure, sucking him in and stroking with my fist, letting him sink as deep as I could without choking. His skin was hot velvet on my tongue, I could taste his desire, his need, and I couldn’t help the moan that rippled up my throat around his cock.

“Jesus fuck.” His hips jerked, I gagged around him, he fisted the hair at the back of my head and yanked me off of him. “Get up here.”

Remember how I wanted to maintain the control here? Yeah, I failed. 

He used his grip on my head to bring my lips to his, his tongue sweeping in to dance with mine immediately, his hands moving down my body to pull me up and into his lap. I threw my arms around him and rocked into it instantly, his roving hands landing on my ass and pulling me in, his dick rock hard and slick with my spit grinding against my silk-covered pussy.

Just like that, I lost control of my insolent mouth too.

The kiss broke and I rested my forehead on his, my eyes trained on what was happening between our hips. “God… I-“ The head of his cock caught on my clit, I gasped at the feeling. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Embarrassing, I know. But then… ohh then.

His hands skimmed up my ribs until they were cupping my breasts, thumbs grazing over my nipples. 

“I’ve wanted you longer, T. Forever.”

Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps ran up my arms, I shivered, my nipples tightened, and he pulled one into his mouth. He sucked and lapped at it, thumb still moving over the other, and without hesitation he sunk his teeth in. 

“Fuck yes, yes yes…”

His tongue circled it again and he released it, pressed a hot and fast kiss to my mouth. 

“You still like that, huh?” He chuckled as he opened his lips over the other side. The silk between my legs was soaked, I could feel how easily I was sliding over his cock, and I was getting impatient despite the way I’d reprimanded him hardly ten minutes ago. 

“Jake, please…”

He popped off of my nipple and pulled another kiss from my lips, then leaned back and let one corner of his mouth curl up, self-satisfied and cocky.

Still an asshole. 

“Please what, baby? Tell me.”

My eyes rolled, even as he tucked his face into the crook of my neck, nipped and licked me there.

“I want you inside, please fuck me.” Self-control, out the window.

“Mmm,” he hummed into my skin, “No.”

Before I could be properly offended, and believe me, I was, he gripped my thighs and hauled me up, then deposited me onto the mattress. Well, tossed me, really. I bounced once, arms and legs flailing, hair falling in my face. By the time I pushed it away and propped myself up on my elbows, he was standing at the foot of the bed, dick in his fist. I opened my mouth to speak, to yell at him or beg him to stick it in, I don’t know, but he was stroking himself, and he moaned. My mouth snapped shut.

“I’m not gonna fuck you,” I scoffed, offended, pissed even. “Yet.” He let himself go and placed his hands on the mattress, then climbed onto the edge of the bed and started crawling towards me.

It was so fucking hot. His cheeks were flushed, his hair wild from my hands, his eyes dark. I backed away, moving up the bed until my shoulders met the headboard. He didn’t stop coming, and I didn’t want him to. Instinctively, my knees bent and my legs fell open, inviting him in. But he didn’t settle there, when his hands reached me, he grabbed me by the calf and threw my leg over his shoulder on his way down. 

His mouth opened over damp silk and I cried out, his name or God’s, I’m not sure, but his lips and tongue were moving against me and I may have blacked out. I came to when one of his hands skimmed up my inner thigh, and he broke away long enough to slip two fingers under the material and tug it aside. 

Jake Kiszka’s tongue was on my actual, bare pussy. 

My shoulders sagged against the headboard as I reached for him, burying my fingers in his already tangled and unruly hair, our eyes met and he dragged his tongue over me again and again.

“Shit, you were right, this is better,” I panted. He smiled against my cunt and I felt it. I smiled too.

My cheeks hurt I was smiling so hard, until he laser-focused his attention to my clit. His lips wrapped around it and he sucked it past them, my jaw dropped. 

“Oh, oh my God, oh my God!” He was good at this. Too good. The beginnings of an orgasm were already swirling, tightening in my belly, making my toes tingle. The tip of his tongue moving against me until he opened his mouth over me again, and I felt it plunge inside me. The sounds I was making were unholy but I had no shame, I couldn’t feel anything other than need. I needed to scream, I needed to come, I needed him. 

He brought a hand up around my thigh and ran his thumb over my folds, licking himself as he lapped at me, then swirled it over my clit as his tongue fucked me. Before I could even moan, two fingers from his other hand replaced his tongue inside me.

“Jake!”

His head tilted and he pressed his lips against my thigh, kissed it and grinned. “Yes?” Fingers everywhere, filling me and fucking me, circling the most sensitive part of me - I forgot what I wanted to say, if I had even wanted to. Instead I pulled his mouth back, he slid his thumb away and flicked his tongue against me. 

“Yessss, yes just like that, please!” I let my eyes close and stars were already dancing behind my lids, I was close, so close, and I told him so. I moaned it and his fingers plunged deep and curled. I screamed it and he sucked my clit back into his mouth. 

I came hard, nails dug into his scalp, bucking my hips against his face, screaming his name. 

It was unreal. College guys had nothing, fucking nothing, on him.

Before my muscles had even relaxed, he lifted his head from between my thighs and moved up my body, his fingers still pumping slowly inside me as he kissed my hip, my stomach, my breast on his way up to my mouth. He tasted like me when my tongue touched his, and he eased his fingers from my body. 

“Absolutely fucking stunning, breathtaking.”

His breath was taken? I still couldn’t breathe, my chest continued to heave as he left the bed, taking my panties down my legs with him, and I could barely lift my head to see what he was doing. My eyes closed and I felt the mattress dip with his weight as he returned and settled on his heels between my legs, still splayed open. I cracked an eyelid and found him watching me, wrapped condom held between his fingers. 

Under his gaze, I shifted down until my head rested on the pillows, spreading my legs wider, pussy presented to him on a silver fucking platter.

This was happening. There was absolutely no way this was not happening. Not this time.

“Now, Jake.” Unrecognizable, my voice had a distinct sex kitten-like quality that I loved as soon as it hit my ears. He must have loved it too, because his dick twitched and he gripped it. I reached up and snatched the condom from his fingers, tore it open and started rolling it on while his eyes bugged out and his jaw fell slack.

“Jesus, not your first time, huh?” My hand replaced his around him and I stroked, he leaned over me and I guided the head to my center, moved it through the slick pool of arousal there. He paused, poised to enter me, and met my eyes.

“I’m pretty much out of firsts, Jake.”

His eyes closed, his hips rocked forward, and he pushed just past my opening, the tip not even fully inside me.

I tilted my own hips up, he slipped a fraction of an inch deeper. I whispered, and it was sexy, and seductive. “It could’ve been you.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, opened his eyes and we watched each other’s faces as he sunk deeper, slowly, to the hilt. “It should’ve been me.”

Stunned, speechless, we stayed like that. Unmoving, bodies connected, eyes locked. He broke first, dropping his lips to mine and rocking into me softly. A sound I’d never heard before, quieter than a moan, crept up his throat, trapped behind his lips as they caressed mine. My legs lifted, cradling him between my thighs and wrapping around him. 

It was gentle, sweet. The exact opposite of how I knew it would’ve been, if I’d let him be my first, thinking he wasn’t. 

I felt my cheeks warm, my eyes pool with tears. I blinked them away. This was everything I’d wanted and more. I knew I’d been an idiot to think otherwise. Especially when he pulled back and delivered a quick, deep thrust and there was no pain. Only pleasure bloomed inside me, hot and volatile. 

“Again, more…”

An excellent listener, he repeated it. Again, again, and I met each thrust with my own. Our kiss turned frantic, sloppy, lips and tongues clashing and pushing, pulling and taking. The temperature in the room was rising with the heat of our skin, our bodies slipping against each other. He lifted his chest from mine, hands braced on the pillows on either side of my head, and the conditioned air on our damp skin made us both groan in ecstasy.

I damn near came again, almost commented on it but he dropped back down and shoved an arm between me and the mattress, rolled us both. We laughed as we landed, his hair strewn across the pillow and mine falling in his face. My laughter stuck in my throat when he grabbed onto my thighs and pulled, tucking my knees against his hips and forcing me to sit. I propped myself up with my hands on his chest and fell back into the rhythm, my hips rolling. 

“Goddamn, you feel so good, look so good riding me.”

My head fell back as his words rippled through me, his fingertips digging into me, his hands moving my body over his. He brought one to my chest, squeezed me roughly, rolled my nipple with his fingers, pinched it. Hard.

“Yes!” He did the same to the other, my pussy clenched around him. 

“You like when it hurts a little, don’t you?”

“I- I don’t know, I guess so- ohhh!” He wrapped a hand around each tit and sunk his fingertips into my flesh, then kneaded them both, ran the pads of his thumbs over the peaks. 

“Fuck, that’s so hot. You’re fucking perfect.”

Yeah, I lost my mind a little bit. My hips bucked wildly in his lap. Perfect? Me? My nails pressed into his skin, I dragged them down his chest, reveling in the sharp hiss sucked between his teeth, the way his own hips lifted from the bed and he fucked into me. Sharp, fast thrusts hitting me so deep I was screaming his name. He sat up and pulled my face to his, kissed me hard, bit down on my bottom lip, and then tipped me backwards.

My head was nearly hanging off the end of the bed, but really, who cares? My ankles locked behind his back and he was slamming his hips into the back of my thighs.

Fuck, was I gonna come? He had to be close. I lifted my head, now very much hanging off the bed, to ask him.

Beep. Click.

His hips stuttered and paused, we both whipped our heads to the door, which was fucking opening. 

Josh appeared, his foot crossed the threshold and he was looking down at his phone. 

“GET OUT!!” We yelled in unison. Josh’s head popped up, his eyes went huge, and then he laughed. 

“Shit, sorry guys.” He started backing out into the hall, the door creaking closed. “About time,” We heard him chuckling to himself and the door clicked behind him.

Jake turned his face back to me and seemed to realize for the first time that I was barely on the mattress. An arm wrapped around my back and he shifted us until I could look him in the eyes.

“What the fuck…” I whispered up at him.

His smile was subtle and affectionate before it stretched to a full grin, and he huffed a laugh.

“There was no fucking way I was stopping.”

I matched his grin and lifted to pull a kiss from his lips. “Good.”

He tucked his face into my neck and began the roll of his body into mine again. I let my hands roam across his back as he kissed and nipped my skin and his thrusts picked up speed. The orgasm that had been teasing me before we were interrupted built again quickly, and Jake was panting in my ear. 

But then… then. A whisper. Low and deep, but a whisper nonetheless. 

My name, my real name, hit my ear and I gasped, right on the edge.

“Come for me. Please come for me.”

How could I say no?

It broke, crashed, consumed me. His name on my lips as I tightened, writhed, and shook for him. 

He didn’t stop, didn’t slow, he chased after me and followed into the flames. My name burned into my flesh by his kisses, a guttural groan as he came inside me. 

Easily the best orgasm I’d ever had. Easily.

Because he’s just a man, albeit an incredibly hot, multiple-orgasm-inducing man, he collapsed on top of me. I let him. I ran my hands over his sweat-dampened hair and the soft skin of his back and we both caught our breath. Then he started giggling. 

I pinched his ass. “What’s so funny, Kiszka?”

His head popped up and he propped himself on an elbow, a wide grin splitting his face in half, gorgeous. “I can’t believe we waited so long to do that, that might’ve been the best sex I’ve ever had.”

We both laughed as I slapped his chest. “Might be?!”

“Okay okay, you’re right.” He looked at me dreamily, his eyes bouncing around my face. “It was the best.”

Because I’m a woman, albeit a mind-blowing sex goddess, I started overthinking. I couldn’t help it! You should’ve seen the way he was looking at me. 

“Jake…” He lifted his eyebrows, I lifted a hand to his face, tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “What does this mean?”

Those eyebrows knitted together, a quick moment to think that over. Then he kissed me, soft and slow. 

“I don’t know what it means. But I do know this hotel has free breakfast downstairs, so be up and ready by nine.” His smile stretched again, and I couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Oooh, do you think they have French toast? That’s Sam’s favorite.”

He attacked me, tickled me until I had tears in my eyes, kissed me until I was breathless, and fell asleep with his arms around me.

The truth is, I don’t remember the exact moment I fell utterly, completely in love with Jake Kiszka. Maybe you should ask him. 

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- FOUR Hangout

Part 45

2014

“Hello everyone we’re One Direction and this is our first Google livestream” Niall starts after we have the thumbs up to say we are now live. I sit with my legs crossed between Louis and Liam

“We wanted to do a live stream so we could answer your questions about the new album. To help us with our questions we have very good friend of our, this is Ben everyone” I introduce our friend who is sat on a single comfy chair while me and the boys are sitting on a long red sofa

“We’ve got loads of questions from the fans and we only have half an hour so let’s just get into them. So it’s been four years now that you’ve been in the band which is why I’m guessing the albums called four right?”

“Yeah and it’s also our fourth album” I reply

“So you guys are actually on the XFactor tonight. Do you get nervous when you go back there because that’s where it all started”

“It’s very like, you feel nostalgic walkin round the halls and stuff. I think we all felt under so much pressure when we were there it’s now fun because we can enjoy the environment more” Harry explains

“Do you miss the simplicity of the old days YN. Is there anything you sort of miss?” Ben asks me. The boys all turn to face me as I think

“There’s definitely aspects that I miss, like being able to go to Waitrose with greasy hair and no makeup just to pick up some food, without having to worry about photos being posted or comments made. I think that’s been the hardest part for me, just being able to I guess live my life without any cares. Don’t get me wrong I am so grateful for all of this and I love meeting fans, and I know that without this opportunity I wouldn’t have met the people I have, but yeah I think that’s what I miss the most, just not worrying so much. I think it’s calmed down now though. Like where my dad lives no one really takes any notice of me when I go around the town”

“Yeah and at the beginning it was very hectic, but things have more structure now so it’s not as chaotic I don’t think” Louis continues

“Do you find though you’re able to enjoy it more now though?” Ben asks looking at Zayn

“Yeah definitely. We get time now to go and sight see which is nice”

“Do you ever watch clips of you back in the day and look at pictures and see the change? Niall?”

“Weirdly enough the other day I was watching our old video diaries and the stuff we did on the xtra factor and me and YN were texting each other talking about how young we were, we still are but especially her and Harry are the youngest, so looking back now it’s like woah we were babies”

“Some of the outfits I wore were hideous” I laugh thinking back to our days on the xfactor “so many clashed with my hair. Why did I think bright red hair was cute?”

“I know a lot of your fans miss it”

“I don’t. The amount of times when we were on tour and the bed sheets looked like a murder scene because he went to sleep with wet hair” Liam laughs along with me

“I ruined a lot of bed sheets, towels, anything white became pink. It was a disaster”

“I liked your red hair” Harry shrugs “made you look like Ariel”

“I think the problem was you never had time to go to the hairdresser so you dyed it yourself with a box colour” Zayn says looking at me

“Yeah that’s why I’ve gone back to brown because it’s just easier”

“So you won’t be dying it again any time soon?”

“Nope” I shake my head at that question

“Did people tell you at the time what to wear and what you had to do and say or were you in control of your own decisions?”

“A little bit. I know sometimes someone would show YN a dress or whatever and she’d be adamant that she wouldn’t wear it”

“Yeah it was a bit of both really” Louis continues on from what Liam was saying

“If you could meet yourself 4 years ago is there any advice you’d give to your younger self?” Ben asks “Louis?”

“Just have a second glance in the mirror and say are you sure you want to wear this?”

“Is that really what you’d say?”

“No ok that’s just me trying to crack a joke”

“Trying being the word”

“Oi” Louis nudges me on the knee with his hand

“I think on a serious note I would have said have fun and enjoy yourself” Zayn says I nod my head agreeing with him

“We have spoken in the past and there's a lot of it in the movie about how I guess for you there was an explosion on the internet really. it was a massive part of you career, but YN you had to deal with a lot of negativity. Is it better now and how do or did you deal with that?”

“It wasn't great obviously and I did struggle with it, but I went to therapy, still do, and I just don't check comments on social media. I just try to remember that the only reason people are saying things like that is because they have something to hide behind. They are bored. Our real fans are incredible though and most of the time if there's one negative comment there will be l0 positive”

“Is there ever a time where you it's gone to far?” Ben asks

“Definitely. Theres been comments telling YN to hurt herself or worse. I think some people forget that we are actual people and we all have feelings. We’re all so young and we can all be a little self conscious at lines so we just make sure we’re all ok and check in with each other” Liam tells Ben

“ Lets talk about the album. What were the songs that your most proud of? Zany let’s start with you, what is your favourite song on the album?”

“Erm I really like Where Do Broken Hearts Go” all of the boys seem to agree

“ I think Liams going to agree with me, but we fell in love with fire proof” Louis says

“YN?”

“ I love Fools Gold and Stockholm Syndrome. I'm actually so excited to sing them on tour”

“ Ok this is a recurring question. What is Stockholm syndrome about and what does it mean?”

“YN since it’s on of your favourites do you want to explain?” Louis looks at me with a smile

“Well erm ok it’s… harry you explain”

“It’s kinda along the lines of what Stockholm Syndrome is so”

“What is it?” Ben asks

“YN?” Harry looks at me but I shake my head “well it’s when you develop a relationship or feelings towards your kidnapper”

“And how much experience do you have with being kidnapped”

“Well I mean a couple times to be honest” harry jokes with a straight face which makes me laugh

“Is there any tracks from your other albums that you don’t like now?”

“I think there’s songs maybe we individually don’t resonate with anymore, or we don’t particularly like to sing anymore, but to say we dislike any of our songs would be a stretch. We all have our own tastes and styles ya know so a song I love one of these boys may not enjoy as much” I say looking at Ben “I think it’s important to be proud of all of the songs. I’ll always look back at the songs with fondness. Certain ones I can pin point locations and memories so yeah I don’t think I could dislike any of them”

We wrap up the interview having been talking for like 40 minutes about our music.

[hellfire--cult]

So I just finish reading second chance at Cupid and I gotta say I love it and I would love to hear more about those two .

I would like to think Eddie took her to see the place where he grew up and told the reader everything about his past including his band .

And the reader bought Eddie his guitar so he could play for her..

And I just got to say it was perfectly written and a really unique story ..

OMG my first request!

Thank you so much for your words I really appreciate it! I am so happy you liked it! I got a little carried away with the Returning to Hawkins request, so here we go! Prepare you tissues!

SCAC ❤️ - Back to Hawkins

Read Second Chance at Cupid

WC: 4.4K

Warnings: +18 angst, mentions of suicide, depression, nostalgia, mentions of death and anguish, fluff, overall, crying for Eddie.

Summary: Eddie introduces you into his past, but you don't think you would encounter certain people along the trip, and Eddie finally brings closure to his long life.

A/N: I cried while writing this, I am so sorry...

“Seriously, this takes away the fun of driving darling.” Eddie exclaimed for the tenth time this afternoon. You were on your way to Hawkins, his home town before becoming cupid himself. He had never returned to that place, saying that only bad memories reside in it. 

“Don’t bash on my automatic car Eddie!” You say with a giggle as you look into your gps, signaling that you were close. He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“In my days, you drove with a stick, manually, like a man.” He says and you can’t help but laugh at his words. You sometimes forget that he is actually like 60 years old, but looks 23. You were afraid that time would get to him, as if it was lost in some space and dimension and he would look 60 instantly. 

But it didn’t. It was as if his life cycle had a pause and now it started once again. 

“Sure thing grandpa.” 

“What did you just call me?” He jabbed a finger to the side of your rib, causing you to giggle and he smiled at you, to then get his eyes on the road again. The GPS signaled to turn right, and as Eddie did, he could see the ‘Welcome to Hawkins’ sign coming up ahead. He clenched tightly onto the steering wheel as regret started filling his insides. He didn’t want to face his past, but you lit up so much when he told you about his birthplace, excited to see it one day.

And now here you both are.

But Eddie was anything but excited. He was the whole other spectrum of it. He was anxious, nervous, sad, and nostalgic. Everything all at once. You noticed the whiteness of his knuckles and you looked at him with a frown to your eyebrows. You reached out and put a hand on top of his over the wheel and he shot you a small smile as a thanks.

The first thing you noticed was the amount of woods that were in the area, looking all around. Thank god you didn't bring Dorito with you, because he was such an indoor cat that you were afraid of him getting lost easily. Gladly, Steve offered to take care of him while you were gone, but that's another story for another time.

“In 1983, a little boy called Will Byers disappeared into the woods.” Oh, you heard that story, your dad told it to you so you wouldn’t go running alone through the trees. “It was a fucking mess, people searching everywhere, knocking at every door, and stuff. Turns out, the boy had a broken ankle and couldn’t walk, near the shore of one of the lakes. He was actually very bright, hiding in between bushes in case a predator would come up.” 

“You sound like you met him.”

“I did! Back in 1986, when he entered freshman year with his friends. I had a club, Hellfire Club, and it was only for DnD campaigns!” Eddie had already told you about his dungeon master days, telling you he has an itch to play that can’t possibly compare to anything else. You were sad that you couldn’t play with him, since you have no knowledge of it, but you did indulge him into Facebook groups that organize meetings. He could make friends and make his own guild if that goes well.

But he didn’t want to. He wanted to play, but he said , in a very sad tone, that it’s not the same without his friends.

“Yeah I remember that… I wonder if your club still stands!” You said excitedly and he laughed, shaking his head.

“We were treated like freaks sweetheart, they called us satan worshippers, just because we played a fantasy roleplaying game. It was all over the newspapers too! How Dungeons & Dragons induced homicidal thoughts.” He snickered at that, making you shake your head at how close minded people were back then. Your eyes lit up as you passed the trees, seeing a parking lot.

“Oh my god, stop, it’s your school!” He grimaced at that, but slowed down, pulling into the parking lot of the high school he once attended. He parked on a spot, and you checked your watch, realizing that it’s still school hours and everyone was in class. 

“You know darling, I don’t have the best of memories of this place.” He says to you and you sigh, looking at him. 

“I’ll go in! I want to check something first!” You got out of the passenger’s seat, and he was calling you out to stop you, but you didn’t. You ran into the school’s doors, looking at all the green decorations of the place, looking in awe at all the lockers as you walked through the halls. You looked at the pictures on the walls, looking for something in particular.

You turned the hall and that’s when you found all the pictures of active clubs that were in the school. You scanned all around, basketball team, tennis club, art club, history club, newspaper club, computing club… A smile broke on your face as you stared at one picture in particular. 

“At least this place is much cleaner than the last time I was here.” You heard Eddie turn the corner to finally meet up with you and you beamed at him with a smile on your face.

“Eddie, look!” You pointed at a picture and he frowned, following your finger and then his face softened, his mouth falling agape slightly. He couldn’t believe it.

There, in a nice frame, stood a picture of 10 boys and girls, wearing the Hellfire shirt, his logo, his signature mark. Under it, it read, ‘Hellfire Club, Founded in 1980.’. They even got the date right. He didn’t fund it of course, but he cannot believe that after all these years his club actually got acknowledgement. 

“Excuse me, why are you pointing at our picture?” Someone calls to your side and you look to see a boy, your size almost, probably a senior, wearing a hellfire shirt. Eddie looked at the boy, and stared at him for a long while. A cap on his head, curls all around and he couldn’t stop himself before he talked.

“Henderson?” The boy’s eyes widened and he tilted his head with a sheepish smile on his face.

“You know me?” You knew that this couldn’t really be happening, but you didn’t really know what to say. You were looking back and forth at the both of them and that’s when Eddie snapped out as he felt his stomach turn slightly.

“Um, not you precisely?” Eddie continued, trying to save the situation and then the teenager made an ‘ah’ sound as if understanding.

“You must mean my dad, Dustin Henderson. We really look alike, don’t we?” Eddie’s eyes widened, and that’s when he realized that Dustin must be 51 years old now. He had a family, a future, and part of Eddie was saddened he didn’t even try to see him, how he was doing or anything at all. “I’m Chris!” 

“Nice to meet you Chris!” You beamed and cleared your throat to dissolve the situation. “We were just looking at your picture because Eddie here was part of Hellfire just the year he came as a freshman here. He wanted to know if the club was still up and running, you know.” At that Chris smiled excitedly and nodded.

“Oh! You’re an old Hellfire Club member?! Well, welcome back you brave warrior. What was your role?” He asked excitedly and Eddie almost choked up in tears as he tried to talk, but he gulped the lump down, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah, I was a Dungeon Master.” At that Chris beamed, pointing at himself.

“I am one too! Like my dad was, although I have to say my aunt, Erica? She’s a fucking badass.” Eddie smiled at that widely, now knowing that the Sinclairs are still friends with the Hendersons, and that means that Mike and Will are in the picture too. 

“Can I ask you a question?” At that Chris nodded and Eddie stuttered a bit before continuing. “Don’t you get bullied? For playing this? I remember getting bullied here and there by a few at the time.” Chris chuckled and shook his head at Eddie, making him stand straighter, paying attention to the young boy.

“Nah man, that shit is long gone thankfully. We know about the bullying years of Hellfire, and you know, we put our foot down to the jocks. It was in 2009. My cousin, Elena Byers, was like super done with all the jocks mocking us, so she trained herself in Karate, and chopped their dicks, almost.” He said with a laugh and your eyes widened at that, looking at Eddie’s reaction.

But what you found was pure adoration with a wide smile to his face. They weren’t the small little group like before. They stood up for themselves, marking their territory, their right to be a club, to be considered people and not freaks for liking something different. But now, he felt like crying, he was glad to know his old friends were doing okay, and his children were doing fine too so it seems.

“Well, I’m glad man… We gotta go now–” Eddie started but Chris stopped him, jumping up as if he remembered something.

“One second!!!” He rushed away in a comical fashion, you and Eddie looking at eachother once as you waited for him to return. It literally took two seconds as you saw him getting out of a classroom, heavy breathing from the sudden run. “Ah, shit, this is why I am bad at PE… Here.” He handed something to Eddie, and the older man looked at it with a confused frown in his eyebrows, opening it up to reveal a brand new Hellfire Shirt, all black, with his logo in the middle.

“Oh, wow…” You say, eyes widened at the gesture but Chris just smiled widely, nodding in Eddie’s direction.

“There’s for some reason this uh… tradition in Hellfire Club, made by my own father actually, back in 1986. He said that there should always be a spare T-Shirt in the club. Not for one of the members, not even if they lose theirs. He never knew the reasoning for the tradition, he just felt that it belonged to someone, and they might pick it up someday.” At that mention, Chris’s smile fell slightly and did a shrug with his shoulders. “For some reason, I felt like giving it to you.”

Eddie was speechless, looking at the shirt in his hands. In the stretch of time and space, there is one part, one small minuscule part, where everyone holds his memory. They always held it there, and embraced it, and this was proof of it. His eyes watered as his throat closed up, biting onto his bottom lip to try to suppress his tears.

“Thank you… This means a lot…” He muttered under his breath, holding back tears and Chris smiled at him while you stared at Eddie with your own tears filling your eyes. He was remembered, in some strange way, people remembered him. “You happen to know the Wheelers?”

“Oh, Aunt Mike and Aunt Nancy? Yeah! Well, Mike doesn’t go by Wheeler, he goes by Byers, but it’s the same thing.” Chris said with a chuckle and Eddie smiled still looking at the shirt, now knowing Mike and Will were married, and they even adopted a kid.

“That’s great… Really great… Thank you for this, really. And send my greetings to your dad.”

“Oh, sure! Your name?”

“Eddie.”

As you got in the car, Eddie didn’t shed one single tear. You knew he was holding back from it all, but you still got a long weekend ahead of you, and you knew this part was just the very start of going back into his past.

You can pick him up later on. You’ll just let him have his own pace. 

“That over there, I used that spot to do most of my dealings, now for some reason it has turned into an amazing botanical garden.” He said with a chuckle, pointing at his right side to show you it. You looked on, and there it was, a nice kept greenhouse, with various plants and flowers, carefully treated for different seasons of the year. He continued driving, finally reaching the town of Hawkins and he was glancing at everything in awe.

“For being a small town it sure does have nice shit.” You say out loud looking at all the stores and food chains as well as restaurants. He was stunned to see the amount of lights and how modern everything was. Even his old record store was changed into a more modern one and he was slightly saddened at that thought. 

There’s one place he wanted to see unchanged. One place he really wished nothing had turned modern. He kept driving as the afternoon son started hiding itself, leaving a pink hue in the sky for the both of you. You didn’t question where he was going, you fully trusted him, even after two months of being with him, you felt like you’ve known him your whole life, and even in past lives. 

This trip was all about Eddie.

After 10 minutes of driving, he finally parked in front of a bar. It looked rather vintage to you, rustic even, and the bouncer at front didn’t even give a second glance to you as you both walked in. 

Eddie’s eyes widened when all that’s changed of his old bar, was the fact a few led TV’s hang from the corners, some AC was put up, and the leather has been reupholstered. The rest was all the same. 

“Holy shit…” He walked on into the bar, sitting on one of the stools of the bar, and you sat right next to him as he looked around. You took out your phone and snapped a picture of him without him noticing at all, and smiled as the expression he wore in the photo was that of a five year old seeing Santa. 

“Looks the same?” You asked him, putting your phone on the counter. 

“Yeah… This is where my band and I played on Tuesday nights.” He explains to you as he looks onto the stage, you following his gaze. You could just imagine Eddie playing his guitar on that small stage with his best friends, having the time of his life, and you cannot even have a picture of it.

Eddie explained that when one becomes cupid, all memory of them is gone. That meant, the pictures were also gone or any image format where his face may have appeared. The bartender came up to you both and you took the order since Eddie was still looking around.

“Two beers please.” You say with a smile and the man simply nodded at you, popping two bottles from under the counter and taking the caps off in one swift movement. You thanked him and gave him the money for your drinks. You slid one bottle in front of Eddie and he finally snapped out of his trance, looking at the drink, and then back at you. You were wearing a smile, lifting your bottle up to him.

“To Corroded Coffin.” You said with a smile and he gulped the lump that formed in his throat, smiling back at you, and grabbing his bottle to clink it to you. You both took a sip of your drinks as the bar started filling with people. 

Eddie told you stories about all the shows they played there, how their fanbase was just three to five drunks and if they were lucky they would turn to seven. He also told you about the fights that broke in this bar, and how he partook in a few of them just for the hell of it. You shook your head in disapproval at that and he just laughed and kissed your cheek, telling you that now he would only fight if it’s in your honor.

“I can defend myself, thank you very much.” You say as you take a swig out of your beer and he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Oh really? What if a big mean man comes right now and chokeholds you? Whatcha gonna do?” He asks with a snicker and you were about to reply to him, but Eddie was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder, making him turn around, facing a man with brown hair, a few gray hairs here and there, and with a beard on his face. Eddie squinted as he looked at him, and the man also looked confused himself.

“Excuse me young man… Do I know you?” The man asks and you were baffled at the interaction. Eddie too was surprised by this, but there was a part of him that knew who this person was, but he didn’t look like him, so it cannot possibly be him.

“Um, no sir… I don’t think we’ve ever met.” Eddie replied and the man scoffed, scratching his head slightly.

“I’m sorry, I just… really thought you looked familiar but for some reason I don’t even know who you look familiar to.” He replied with a soft chuckle and that’s when Eddie’s throat closed, swallowing thickly as he continued talking.

“Maybe… What’s your name Sir?” 

“I’m Gareth.” He replied with a smile and Eddie felt like crying right then and there, feeling his chest just crumple into itself as seeing how old his friend is, and imagining how old he was supposed to be now. 

“H-Hi Gareth… I’m Eddie, and this is my girlfriend.” He introduced you too and you were trying to hold your own lump, knowing very well who Gareth was in Eddie’s life. Eddie had described him as a brunette, wild hair, rosy plump cheeks, but the person before you was an aged man, around 55 years old. 

“Nice to meet you both. Are you both new in town or just visiting?” He asked, his eyes never leaving Eddie’s as he talked. Eddie cleared his throat and shook his head.

“Just visiting… My uncle came here a lot. Listened to a band in particular but I believe they’re long gone now.” Eddie say with a sad smile and Gareth's interest peaks.

“Really? Which band?”

“Corroded Coffin.” At that, Gareth’s eyes widen and he almost jumps in excitement as if he were a thirteen year old and patted Eddie on the shoulder.

“Well, I’ve got news for you! You’re looking at the drummer of the former band Corroded Coffin.” He says with a wide smile and Eddie’s eyes twinkle at his joy, a smile forming on his lips as well as tears already burning their way out.

“Really?” He says as if surprised, but Gareth kept smiling, nodding wildly. 

“Yep! Jeff is still on the bass, and Freak on the second guitar!” He says with excitement spilling out of his lips. You were watching the interaction fondly, taking short sips of beer as the two men interacted, but you decided to intervene at that.

“Second? Who’s first?” You asked and Eddie looked at you and then back at Gareth, who’s smile fell and turned into a confused one, with the hint of sadness behind it.

“I… I don’t know really, I knew there was someone… I knew that there was a point where we sounded amazing, excellent even, and then… It just wasn’t the same… We still play at my garage, my kids hate it, but we always try to reach that sound again.” He finished with a shrug and Eddie straightened up in his seat, his voice cracking as he talked back to Gareth.

“I– I uh, live an hour away. I play guitar… If you guys have the open spot I can do a tryout?” He asks, hopeful at the question and your eyes widened looking at him. Gareth’s smile returned and his eyes became full of life as he looked at his old best friend.

“Really? A young lad like you wants to play with old men like us?” Eddie chuckled at that, swallowing the lump in his throat and nodded. 

“It would be an honor to my uncle.” He says and Gareth nodded at that, satisfied as he took his cellphone out of his pocket.

“Who’s your uncle by the way, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“Wayne… Wayne Munson.”

And finally, you came to your last stop. Eddie showed you what once was Forest Hills, his old trailer park, now filled with suburban houses and he scoffed at how everything was done for the rich now. 

And now here you stood. Flowers you thought of buying before hand in your left hand as you held onto Eddie’s right hand, tightly, fingers intertwined. The moonlight illuminates both of you perfectly as well as the engraved stone before you.

Wayne Munson

1942 - 1989

A friend, an Uncle, a Father.

“1989. Three months later after Wayne’s death, I really didn’t have a purpose in life any longer. I didn’t think anything was worth living for, and I felt utterly and completely alone. I thought that there was no harm in me leaving as well, because no one would miss me, no one would care if I left… The chance of becoming cupid, and to keep living while being forgotten, felt exactly the same, without the dying part.” Your tears were flowing down your cheeks at his words, feeling the despair in the deep center of your gut as he talked.

You cannot even begin to think how he felt, all alone in that trailer park, succumbing himself to drugs and starvation, waiting for the darkness to simply consume him at a point. 

“He would be disappointed in me.” Eddie said through a wet chuckle and then sniffled as he wiped his face with his free hand. “He would go ‘I taught you better than that, I never taught you to quit!’” He tried to say in a lower voice to then end up in a choke as a sob tried to come through.

In all honesty, Eddie had never once cried for his uncle. For his father figure. He just became hollow, void of emotions, feelings completely gone from his heart and his mind, but now, he felt like crying, like a little kid that just got hurt. 

So he did. His sobs could be heard through the cemetery as he dropped to his knees, his hands over Wayne’s name. You bit your lip as you tried to keep your sobbing down, be there for him, bending down to press your hand on his back as he cried out, yelled it all out, years and years of keeping his emotions inside, intact, never once letting a tear out of his eyes.

His shoulders shook as minutes passed, and he finally felt air being thrown into his lungs. A long hidden weight being lifted off his shoulders as his heart felt calm, steady, even with the pumping thanks to his crying. He looked at Wayne’s name and gave him a nod, sighing.

“I don’t know if you remember me in the afterlife. But, it’s me, Eddie… I’m sorry I was never here to visit you. I’m sorry for not keeping you updated… I’m actually here with my girlfriend.” Your heart warmed when he presented you to his uncle and you kneeled down next to him, with a wet smile on your lips, stained rosy cheeks as you looked at him. “I promise I’ll visit soon. I’m aging now, so I better use the most of my time.” He said to the grave stone with a smile to his face as you felt a warm breeze caress the side of your ear.

You placed the flowers on his grave as Eddie told him about his life until now, and you simply sat there, listening intently, letting Eddie talk to his uncle once again. 

Once you both bid your goodbyes, you were walking back to the car, hand in hand. You turned around towards the cemetery and then forward again.

“You know… I can ask for a remote position at work.” You say out loud, catching Eddie’s attention.

“What do you mean?”

“I can work from home… Maybe get a nice house in Forest Hills, saw a few ‘In Sale’ signs up.” You said with a smile. It would take a loan for you to buy a house, but your happiness depended on his. And you knew this was the right choice. Eddie stopped on his tracks and looked at you, turning around to face him worriedly.

“You don’t… You already did so much for me, I can’t possibly–” 

“I want to. I want to, Eddie… I want to be near your family too.” Eddie’s eyes glistened again as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you in a tight hug, embracing you in warmth, in his love, in his adoration for you, and you wrapped your arms around his waist, gripping onto his back with the same devotion.

“I am glad… I am glad I decided to become cupid… If I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t have ever met you…” He said into your ear, the hint of a sob hidden behind his lips as he nuzzled into your neck. A tear rolled down your cheek as you giggled softly.

“Don’t know… I am kind of into the whole sugar daddy thing.” A wet laugh could be heard onto your neck, Eddie pulling away from you with stained cheeks, looking down at you.

“I don’t know if I would have had a lot of money Sweetheart…” He says and you just smiled at him, tip toeing to catch his lips in a soft, wet, yet deep kiss, that said so many words in just one simple touch, a simple grace of skin. I love you, I adore you, I can’t live without you, but one thing you had to tell him.

“I would have chosen you either way, just the way you are, the way you’ve always been.”

A/N: I am so sorry... At least he gets to play with his friends again, right?

Would love to get more requests for SCAC! ❤️ I enjoyed writing this, even if it was too painful to do so

Remember that if you get inspired or anything, you can always message me with blurbs, or imagines, or you can also tag me in it!

[weirdbrothers]

[Some photos documenting my old blog]

One Direction was my life for 6 years and formed who I am today, theres no other way to put it. I became a fan in 2012 and the fandom engulfed my life. I would listen to their music all day, watch every single interview, stay up all night blogging (and crying) about them. Years would pass and it would influence the career I chose, the city I moved to and how I view love, friendship and celebrity.

If you pulled me aside any day between 2012 and 2018 I could tell you where every member of that band was and what they were doing. Some people know I’m also a big Taylor Swift fan, but how much I love her and her music doesn’t even hold a candle to my dedication to the boys. When drama was going doing in 2012/2013 between Taylor and Harry, I “sided” with Harry and couldn’t listen to Taylor’s music for about 6 months. I ran a One Direction blog that gained over 10,000 followers, and even now in my late 20s it’s still one of my proudest accomplishments. I made edits, read fanfiction and was in the trenches of the fandom for 6 years. Every day from the second I opened my phone in the morning to the music I listened to as I fell asleep was One Direction. It was fun, it was dramatic and it was a cornerstone of my life.

I loved One Direction as band, a unit, a group. Louis was my favorite member, but what drew me to them was their chemistry, dynamic, and love for one another. When Zayn left and they later went on a “hiatus” I was obviously devastated. Any promise of solo careers was salt in the wound, because I didn’t fucking want that. I didn’t like One Direction because they were cute or I just liked the music or had a crush on one member. I loved their stories, their resilience, their care for the fans, and what the five of them together made me feel.

I can say I knew at least a side of Liam, and saying “rest in peace” doesn’t cut it for me. For everything he did for me, what he gave to me and the fans, how much happiness, sadness and love I’ve felt for him. With Liam’s passing, a last part of my innocence and piece of myself is gone. By a strange coincidence, I flew to my childhood home yesterday to stay with my parents, and thats where I got the news. So last night I laid in my old bed that I spent countless hours blogging and listening to One Direction in throughout high school, and I cried for him, for Harry, for Louis, for Zayn and for Niall. 

I’ve spent a very long time being angry, bitter and resentful at them for how One Direction ended, how it just faded away. I hate that they didn’t give the fans a proper goodbye, there was no closure, no bookend to their time as bandmates. Like many fans, I was hoping for a nostalgic reunion tour down the line. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling things for people that don’t know I exist, that never will. I could make a lot of wishes right now about what I want. But it’s a dead end. So I will say the simplest phrase I can to get my emotions across: I miss you. 

I miss you so much it hurts. I miss you so much I couldn’t listen to your music for years. I miss you so much I’ve been fucking pissed at you for how things ended. I miss you so much I could never hate you. I miss you so much, I just want it all back again. I miss you so fucking much.

Thank you for letting us see you Liam, I know that it wasn't easy a lot of the time. Thank you for letting us in. For letting us hear your voice, your story, to see any part of you. I'm so thankful for what you gave me, the rest of the fans, and the boys. I miss you so much.

We're only getting older, baby And I've been thinking about it lately Does it ever drive you crazy Just how fast the night changes? Everything that you've ever dreamed of Disapearing when you wake up But theres nothing to be afraid of Even when the night changes

*Disclaimer: I know very little about the allegations made against him in recent years, and who I’m talking about here is the boy I grew up with.

[itsjaywalkers]

babe i miss ur rants like crazy so if u have any rant that needs to be indulged this is me indulging u <3333

this actually made me so soft.. i didn't know there was someone who enjoyed my rants so much.. i always feel kinda annoying.. i'm giving u the biggest forehead kiss in the world nonnie YOU'RE THE BEST

this being said . well

lately i've been thinking a lot about this band au i don't know if i'll ever write or if it'll just stay in my head, bc when i first started reading fanfiction i was OBSESSED with band aus and even tho i'm not that into them anymore . they make me feel very nostalgic and happy so i was like u know what . i should come up with my own. AND THAT'S WHAT I DID!!

anyways it's a dual pov, james and lily's!! they used to date, and since james is the lead singer in a very popular band, they were the it couple back then, everyone was fucking obsessed with them, said they were Perfect, peak romance, they wanted what they had etc etc. lily even sang with him sometimes when the band went on tour, bc she has a beautiful voice and all the fans kept pushing for her to join the band and sing all the ballads with james etc

but then . all of a sudden . she disappeared . not literally, you know, she just fucking ran away, without telling a single soul. she didn't even leave a letter to james, or maybe remus, who was one of her best friends. james was devastated, the band was devastated, the whole world was devastated. they went on hiatus for a lil before coming back with a very different vibe and since then . well . no one talks about lily evans . reporters try to bring her up every now and again bc they're nosy fuckers but james goes all stiff and his replies become stilted (even if still perfectly professional)

flashforward to . when the story actually starts . a new band has just debuted and it's rising to fame concernigly quick and james remus sirius and peter are going Crazy bc they feel a bit threatened and also oh would u look at that?? if it isn't sirius' estranged brother in the flesh!! playing the drums for this stupid band who's trying to compete with them!!

and if that wasn't enough !! lily finally returns to their lives............... she's also making a debut but as a soloist.............. and she's very Different from the lily they remember................... her songs are loud and aggressive and filled with resentment and very obviously about james and their relationship and james' friends. she's mean and bold and witty and everyone is Wondering if there was more to her disappearance than what they thought

it'll be jegulus and bartylily <3 and one of the reasons why idk if i'll ever write it it's bc one of the reasons why lily left is that she got pregnant and she didn't want it so she aborted and . we all know how this fandom gets about lily and motherhood lmao

anyways one of the scenes that's been plaguing my mind is this one that happens after lily and barty have started sleeping together and spending more and more time in each other's presence!! they're in barty's flat and barty wakes up at some point in the middle of the night just to discover he's alone in bed. so he wakes up and finds lily sitting at the kitchen table, notebook open, pen in hand and humming under her breath. he hugs her from behind and sees she's writing something new and they talk a lil, bicker some and tease even more, and then barty tells her she should write a song about him and stop dissing that stupid ex bf of hers bc it's getting old. lily laughs and asks him if he wants a cheesy love song and barty cackles and shakes his head and says that he'd rather have one of her dissing songs, bc they're fun and likes it when she gets all mean. besides, the press wouldn't believe her if she wrote something nice or sweet about him bc barty is always getting into scandal after scandal

lily does end up writing a song about barty, dissing him (affectionately except ppl don't know that) and when she first performs it live, she does so while just wearing one of barty's shirts and barty laughs the whole time while sporting the biggest heart eyes known to mankind

[alicedash2]

Hey! I hope you are doing alright. I’m here with another ask as always takes your time! This time I’m in the mood for a Luffy x reader fic super fluffy as always because I’m not into really sad stuff so I was thinking that it could be based around Luffy and her just sitting together having a conversation about past adventures together.

Hey sweetie, here's your order, sorry for take a very long time and be too short :( (again) not reviewed

Moments. Luffy x Reader

Just a fluffy thing, a short one

----°°°°°°•°•°•°•°•°••°••°•°•°••^°^

It was another day on the ship, as always, Y/N had the habit of sitting on the deck in the morning, enjoying the sun and seeing the sun shining on the water from time to time, using it, leaning on the edges of the ship, it was cold but the sun was comfortable.

Luffy arrives, he wasn't used to waking up early, he sees YN sitting and decides to go to bed

-yo! What is she doing alone?

-just enjoying...you woke up early, Luffy, normally you wake up later-

- I don't know either, I think it was the smell of Sanji's cooking-

-so you would eat in your sleep...-

-aah! It doesn't matter, so, are you alone here? Why don't you go with Nami or Robin?

- ... I like to be alone for a while-

YN rested her chin in her hands, sighing a little.

-I...I remembered something...very funny

-hm?-

-Remember...when we were hidden in a barrel...and we ended up arriving on that ship...we were still new, I didn't know what to do, because you called me to be part of your gang, even though I was just a civilian... incredible how I didn't die-

Luffy laughed, happy to remember his first memories as pirates, unprepared, without a ship, without a band, without anything.

-remember when we arrived in Skypea?-

-aah, I remember!-

-you tried to eat that fruit on top of that tree, and even threw it at Ussop's head! I've never laughed as much as I did that day-

YN laughed a little, it was something so simple that she managed to get a good laugh

A few minutes passed, the happy memories turned sad when the two started talking about when Luffy had to fight Ussop to get possession of the ship.

When Robin surrendered to CP9 so he could save the gang

When they had to say goodbye to the Going Merry

When Sanji "abandoned" the gang and still fought against Luffy and others

-we had some difficult times...it hurts to remember, but I feel good, knowing that everything is ok-

YN said, looking at the captain, who was lying on the floor with his hands behind his head

-Yes...-

- but... I feel nostalgic remembering, we made the most of every moment...-

-...me too...a little-

They were silent for a moment, until they both heard Sanji calling to eat, they got up and walked to the kitchen, to continue the conversation and remember more moments from the past.

[wolfavens]

ghost car of barna road

track 3 - liberty belle 1/2

my manager greeted me in irish.

i blinked at the screen in mute panic. i couldn’t remember how to reply. words and languages collided in my brain. it was a car crash, baby, and in the end all that came out of my mouth was a prolonged aaah with no end in sight. a perfect visual representation would be a multilanguage tsunami, pouring out of my ears and pooling around my slippers on the dusty rug of my childhood bedroom.

i used to write those words down into a black notebook, watching you mock me from that dusty rug. you and your smug gaeltacht born grin. who would’ve thought i will forget them all by the time i’m 30.

“how did the move go?”

move. to galway. my hometown. i found my voice again and rushed out: “oh yeah! the move went okay. got here late last night. drive was smooth. not many cars around after midnight.”

“hehe, don’t get used to it. it’s a totally different story after 8am.”

we chatted for a while, arranging to meet in dublin next month when i was all settled in. won’t take long. all i needed was to get a flat, a car - did i need help with the flat? there are probably relocation programmes for employees available. no. i think i got it. did i tho?

we finished the call twenty minutes later. the fact i managed to scrape by enough words to at least tell him goodbye in irish seemed to cheer him up a bit.

i finished up some minor work tasks, sipping at the remainder of my mother’s disgusting herbal tea and took a short break to open the dusty unused storage areas of my childhood bedroom. i needed to clean up the old junk before moving in the new junk. i had to give one thing to my mother; she did an excellent job of preserving this place. if ever i managed to do something worthwhile with my life she could start charging fucking entry for this museum of fiadh kavanagh.

shaking my head i started pulling out old clothes and creating a pile on the floor. if she believed i still fit into these jeans i should be worried about early onset neurodegenerative diseases.

i was done with the columns and moving on to the hangers by the time she stuck her head in and quirked her dark eyebrows at me. “need any help?”

“mom, why the fuck did you keep all this?” i asked, showcasing fist-full of short gothic dresses. “aren’t you worried about clothes moths?”

ignoring my point she sat down on the bed, smiling. “oh, i though you might still like to keep some of it. it’s not like we need extra storage.”

“mom, look at me!” i threw another armful onto the pile, lifting my arms to indicate my age ravaged body. “how could i possibly fit into size four?! some of these are from the children’s section!”

“you look like a string, you could easily fit. it’s the cigarettes. they are not good for ya.”

i rolled my eyes. “i’m not even fucki…”

the feel of a familiar soft fabric beneath my fingertips made me stop midsentence. i pulled it out into the light with shaking fingers, heart racing against my ribcage. it looked huge in my palms. the faded graphics were barely visible in the shadowy light of my room. if you tried hard enough you could just barely make out the name of the band. distantly i heard my mom echo my name but i was stuck in the past, standing in the cold autumn rain by the open driver’s side window of your car.

“ooooh, i remember this one,” my mother said with a nostalgic smile.

i made a small sound at the back of my throat.

“it’s the donovan boy’s, isn’t it? i remember teasing him about it. i told him: young man, this is not a free laundry i run here! you know what he said to me?”

i nodded, whispering, “it’s not my fault yer daughter is a stinkin’ thief.”

she laughed. “little bastard. he was the worst influence on you. funny how he turned out. would never expect a son of deirdre donovan to make something of himself. i guess we owe it all to the wife. she…”

my body snapped back to action. i was moving away before she could say her name. putting the sweater on the bed next to her, i brushed my hands against my sweatpants and mumbled: “right, look we need to get rid of all this before i can unpack. do you know someone with skinny teenage children? ideally with a questionable fashion sense?”

“we can drive to the clothes recycling point.”

“grand! let’s do that after work.” i told her, kicking my way through the discarted clothes toward the closet and dumping whatever was left on top of the rest. “i need to get back to work now. i have a meeting in 20.”

“oh, ok. sorry.” she chuckled, standing up. “i will bring some bags to put all of this in.” she reached for the sweater on her way out and i jumped in to block her path on impulse.

“uh… where are you taking that?”

she blinked up at me, brown eyes surprised. “downstairs. i figured i could return it to the rightful owner rather than donate it to charity. although,” she giggled, pulling it apart for scale, “i doubt it will still fit him.”

she was gone before i could open my mouth, taking the sweater with her. my clenched fists unclenched with effort as i pushed the door closed and leaned my back against it. i was breathing too hard. the way you handed me that sweater through the driver’s side window on that rainy, a blast from the past; a ghostly memory. just enough to make me shudder.