#and it goes on sale for like $2 all the time

[askagamedev]

Thoughts on the Bioware restructuration/lay-offs?

I've long said that any AAA game studio, no matter how strong, is always 2-3 flops in a row away from closure. Bioware did very well with Inquisition, but Mass Effect Andromeda and Anthem's sequential failures resulted in DA4 being their make-or-break release.

One factor was that 2024 was the first full year since 2012 that Bioware didn't have SWTOR on their books anymore - SWTOR went over to Broadsword in late 2023. For the past decade, all of the money earned by SWTOR (which is significant, the game isn't growing but it does more than earn its keep) was considered in Bioware's accounting. That sizable income helps offset the money being burned in other areas like ME:A, Anthem, ongoing DA4 efforts, and other internal projects (like the many failed KOTOR 3 pitches) to the accountants and executives. Without SWTOR to inject additional cash over the year, the Veilguard costs look a lot worse to the money people.

DA4 itself was a bit of a mess during development too. The development of the project that eventually became Veilguard was actually restarted at least twice - they were already working on preproduction for DA4 as of late 2015. The process was long and arduous, and the finished game was... mid? It wasn't underwhelming, it wasn't overwhelming, it was just... whelming. Veilguard also made the somewhat controversial choice to hang everything on sales and not go with post-launch DLC to help monetize further. This gamble really did not pay off. Veilguard missed its sales target by 50%, which was the third nail in the coffin. Each of these failures seems to follow the same pattern - significant dev time spent going in circles because the leadership can't commit to core elements of the game, resulting in something thrown together at the end in order to ship something.

As a result of these issues, the Sword of Damocles that dangles above every studio fell on Bioware. While Bioware remains as a label and the next Mass Effect game continues development, Bioware as a studio is no longer a stand-alone entity capable of building a full game from start to finish like it used to be. Bioware is likely no longer going to have as much of a cohesive identity like it used to - it will be a label more than anything else. If Mass Effect gets a green light for full production, they'll likely have to "borrow" a bunch of floating developers from EA's other studios to build it out, then disperse those borrowed devs to other EA projects once it ships and leave a small team to incubate the next "Bioware" project, at least until they can get two sequential big hits again and warrant a larger injection of funding to start growing again.

My heart really goes out to all of those who are affected by this - the Veilguard devs were really behind the 8 ball when they started and the current economic situation in video games isn't good. I hope that they're able to find something soon, hopefully at a studio that makes better high level leadership decisions.

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[rarepairdumpster]

Pretty Woman AU Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Viktor/Silco (Arcane) Rating: M C/W: AGE REVERSAL, Sex Work, SW Discrimination, Sexual Assault, Minor Sevika, Happy Ending <3

But ohhhh that beautiful moment when Silco breaks his own rule.

When he comes to the bed and finds Viktor dozing, book resting on his chest and glasses about to fall off his nose.

And Viktor looks so soft and handsome and perfect and oh god Silco's already in love oh fuck oh crap might as well fucking kiss him now.

Viktor opens his eyes and Silco backs away, but not too far. 

"I thought--"

"Well, stop," Silco demands before kissing him again. Viktor happily responds this time, wrapping his arms around Silco's waist and pulling him into his lap.

Silco is an exquisite kisser. Knows just how and when to use his lips and tongue and teeth.

Silco moans and starts to grind down on Viktor when one of those lovely, considerate hands slips up to wind into his hair.

Viktor doesn't realise Silco is wearing a simple silk negligee until Silco pulls back and reaches for the hem, pulling it up, up, up,  before tossing it aside

Viktor has never felt like this with anyone and he knows he's going to ask Silco to stay in the morning. To be his.

Imaging someone else's hands on Silco makes Viktor burn, and he kisses Silco as deep as he fucks him, refusing to allow Silco to forget him.

Salo is the colleague/lawyer/whatever that takes a fancy to Silco, that constantly watches him. Makes sly comments about him that Viktor half-ignores, half-scolds him for. 

And in the morning, before Viktor can ask him to stay, work drags him away. He just about manages to ask Silco to at least wait until he comes back, because he wants to talk to him before Silco goes.

And Silco sighs, but agrees, and maybe feels a little hopeful.

But while Viktor is out, Salo shows up to "wait for Viktor", and Silco is uncomfortable because the guy has always given him terrible vibes, but this is Viktor's place and it's someone Viktor knows, so he cant just tell him to leave because Viktor be pissed off about it.

When Salo starts to make advances, when he says that Viktor told him what he really is (instead of the story that Silco is his cousin, which he'd told to other colleagues), Silco is so hurt.

Hurt and angry.

Barks that he's not for sale today. 

"Why not? What does that cripple have that I don't?!"

"I don't have time for this --" 

"I'm talking to you, you stupid whore," Salo snaps, and Silco is surprised by the hand that strikes him, hits him hard enough to knock him down.

Viktor comes back in the middle of the struggle, to Silco crying and lashing out like a cornered animal.

Viktor has never felt compelled to hit someone with his cane before, but he hits Salo now. Just fucking belts him with it and yells.

When Viktor reaches for Silco, Silco lashes out at him in an angry panic.

Throws the money at him.

And just bolts.

Silco runs all the way back to the crappy apartment he shares with Sevika.

Viktor is stricken with guilt and regret and heartbreak, and so much anger that he wants to keep hitting Salo with his cane even though the man is properly unconscious.

All Silco has left of the the time he spent with Viktor are clothes he happened to be wearing when he fled.

And Viktor has everything else, every piece of jewelry, every fine piece of clothing, every shoe, and all the stupid snacks Silco kept buying for himself with Viktor's credit card.

Viktor doesn't even know where Silco lives, just so he could send him his things.

Viktor practically stalks the street corners, trying to find him. If he could just talk to him ----

Sevika spots Viktor one night. He bought a car like the one he had borrowed from Salo so that maybe Silco would see it and recognize him. 

Sevika runs back up to the apartment and lets Silco know that Viktor is out there. 

At first Silco is mad. "Clearly he's looking for a new whore."

"No, idiot, he's looking for you."

Silco looks away, muscle in his cheek twitching from how hard he's clenching his jaw. 

Why would he, Silco almost asks, but doesn't.

"You've been moping over this asshole for days," Sevika sighs, crossing her arms. "And he's right down the stairs."

When Silco doesn't budge, Sevika adds "Maybe he's trying to make sure you get the pay you earned. You know, the cash you left behind in a panic."

Silco huffs.

"Maybe."

He doesn't remember his escape from the penthouse. He only remembers Salo, and the feelings, and the fact that he showed up at the apartment with no money, and looking shit enough to give Sevika a fright.

Silco eventually sighs. He needed the money and he would make it quick. He grabs a long coat and throws it on over the hot pants and crop top he's wearing before walking out the door.

Silco ties the coat closed. Doesn't want to give Viktor the wrong idea. He's glad he's wearing his comfy shoes for once.

Viktor doesn't recognize him at first.

Silco has cut his hair in the time since the attack, no longer feeling comfortable with hair long enough to grab. 

And when Viktor does recognize him, those honey eyes start to fill with tears.

Viktor gets out of the car and moves as quickly as he can around it to Silco. He reaches out to touch him and Silco jerks away. 

"Why did you come here?" Silco hisses, not looking at Viktor because he knows how he'll be looking at him. With pity.

"I was looking for you."

"I'm not for sale today," Silco says harshly, hackles rising with the fear of being vulnerable again. "Just give me what I'm owed for services rendered." 

"That isn't what I meant." Viktor's voice is devastated. The tenderness between them is gone, and Viktor knows why, but God it hurts all the same. "I just wanted to...to make sure you were alright."

"Well, I'm fine. Clearly."

"You left so quickly, I..." Viktor sighs as he takes another look at Silco before bowing his head. 

"Your things are in the car," Viktor points his cane. "I understand if you don't want them but, I've no use for them. And if I stare at them any longer hoping you'll walk back through the door and claim them and me...I'm afraid I'll go mad."

Silco twitches, almost like he might kick him in the leg and bolt again. Almost like he might reach for him.

"My things," Silco says acidly. "You bought them. You own them."

"Yes, I bought them." Viktor huffs, tired and maybe a little annoyed himself now. "But I intended them as gifts. You know that."

"What I know," Silco answers, looking away, "is that men -- men who hold all the power, from wealth or otherwise -- hate me for what I do, but want me all the more for it. You were too ashamed to tell people I was a whore, but as soon as Salo made it clear he wanted to use me, you told him what I was."

Silco and Viktor essentially having a stand off by the car, both of them emotional and not really thinking clearly, before Silco  confesses, voice cracking, "I have never felt so cheap as I did then. That you would tell someone I don't even like that I'm fair game."

"I didn't think about what I was going to tell people about us," Viktor admits. "Salo thought you were some sort of corporate spy, so I had to tell him the truth. I would have never told him if I thought he would..." Viktor sighs. "I'm so sorry, Silco."

"Your penthouse....I felt safe there. With you." Silco looks away. "But that was before. I can't go back there now."

"Then I'll sell it." 

Silco looks at Viktor then. Looks at him like he's crazy.

"What?"

"I'll sell it," Viktor repeats, coming closer, close enough that he could try to touch, if he dared. "I would do anything, go anywhere, if it meant you could learn to feel safe with me again." 

Silco feels like he's been struck. 

Viktor bought a lot of things  for him during their week together.

But this?!

"The thought of staying there, without you..." Viktor shakes his head. "I wouldn't be able to bear it. Everything, all of this, the car, the gifts, the money," Viktor gestures then turns back to Silco. "All of it means nothing if I can't spend it with you."

Silco doesn't speak. Can't find the words. 

But the next thing Viktor knows, Silco is crushed against him, hands buried in Viktor's grey hair, and his mouth is hot and hard against his.

All Viktor can do is smile into the kiss as he pulls Silco close to him, not wanting to let go ever again.

When Silco starts to tremble from all that pent up emotion being released, Viktor pets his newly cut hair and murmurs, "Let's find a nice hotel room for tonight, alright? Just you and me."

Silco nods, not quite able to speak yet, but clings to Viktor, afraid to let him go. He nods at Sevika to let her know it's okay before Viktor gets him in the passenger seat.

Silco and Viktor don't have sex in the hotel room. The two just curl up together under the blankets, hands tangled together between their faces. 

They're quiet for a while and then Viktor says softly, "I like your hair." 

And he quirks this little smile that makes Silco's chest feel tight.

Arch + Woods

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Ghoul Thought™️, perhaps a request? I haven’t played the game to know anything for sure, but I’m vibrating imagining the possibility that maybe he has a heightened sense of smell, and can smell just how turned on and wet his little vaultie has been for him from the moment they met. 🥵

Probably tries to ignore at first, but at a certain point he really needs to call her out😏

So, not only do I think ghouls overall would be able to smell when you were wet, I think ghouls with a particularly sensitive "nose" (I have spoken at some length about sense of smell and scent marking in ghouls, so you can find elaboration on that here) would be able to detect hormonal changes, so they'd be able to smell when you're ovulating.

Cooper can absolutely smell both, though he's not quite sure what he's picking up at first. He notices the tang in the air when you two initially approach one another, so he doesn't necessarily think much of it. What he fails to notice is the longing with which you'd been sizing him up before approaching. Your smell changes during your first conversation (well, more like a first argument, since every conversation with the man is about one crossed wire or snarky comment away from devolving into an argument, especially when you've only just met), and the change seems to stick once you both calmed down and agree to travel together.

However, the first time you two stop by the roadside to rest for a few hours, he notices the smell returning. He doesn't say anything about it, simply watches you drift off to sleep out of the corner of his eye, intrigued about this person who is so willing to travel with a ghoul, especially one as gruff and unwelcoming as he can be. Once you begin to snore lightly (a sound that makes him chuckle), he spends a long time just staring at you, studying you curiously. The smell has fully returned, and is even stronger than before, but it takes seeing you rubbing your thighs together and sighing in your sleep for him to fully realize what's going on.

He spends that whole night with the most painful, bothersome erection he's ever had in his life, but he's too annoyed with you and himself to do anything about it. The next morning, he's quieter than he'd typically be, but you don't know him well enough at that point to notice.

From that moment on, he notices it constantly. The idea that you simply find him, specifically, sexually attractive to the point of fairly blatant arousal is ridiculous to him, so he spends a long, long time turning the whole thing over and over in his brain; is it some adrenaline rush? Or a ghoul fetish? Do scarred-up, rotted near-corpses just get you going in general?

That theory is a wash when tested, though, since any time other ghouls are around and his nose picks up on it, he's also obviously there as well. Even observing from a distance doesn't really support the idea; you don't seem to really "click" with the others in exactly the same way. You're kind to them, of course, as you are to pretty much everyone, and it actually softens his heart to know you still see ghouls as real, whole people. But that's all it seems to be: friendliness. No matter how much he may try to deny it to himself, there's a chemistry, a spark between the two of you that he can't ignore, and that he doesn't see when you interact with others. He also cannot ignore the thrill it gives him to see other ghouls studying the two of you together, their eyes full of assumptions.

You always choose to sit close to him even when there are other options. You pester him with personal questions and inquiries about the Wasteland and he has to pretend to be annoyed by it, secretly overjoyed to have some seemingly genuine companionship for once in god knows how long. Sometimes, in your sleep, you unconsciously move close enough that you touch him. Rather innocent touches, considering, but they never fail to send his heart racing, leaving him humiliatingly aroused at as little as your back against his outer thigh, your face against his hip.

All the while, that scent tantalizes, haunts him.

He ignores the problem as long as he can, enjoying the way you two have slowly begun to chat, joke around with one another; there might even be some real trust developing there. He doesn't want to jeopardize that because he's lonely and can't control himself. Even if it's slowly beginning to seem to him that you might actually want him, too, he'd rather have your friendship and be happy with that than push his often rotten luck and risk losing you trying to be greedy.

But at the same time...feeling his long-dormant sex drive reawakening is strangely thrilling. It makes him feel human, makes him feel alive. For so long, he's found his sense of masculinity in violence, in vengeance and bloodshed. Your warm presence, your beauty, your scent...it all makes him feel masculine in a very different way, leaving him waiting impatiently most nights for you to fall deep enough asleep that he can sneak away to relieve the ache in his balls.

Of course, he doesn't go far enough away that he can't watch over you, still. No, he stays close enough that he can still see you, can study every inch and soft curve of your body as he strokes his throbbing cock. It's not disgusting or perverted if it's done out of necessity, he tells himself. The desert is a dangerous place, and he can't afford to take his eyes off of you when you're in such a vulnerable state. That doesn't mean he isn't left feeling guilty after he finishes, though, the euphoria of his orgasm tainted with shame. Still, he finds himself in the same position most nights, sighing your name wantonly as he spills all over the ground.

He can only fight his urges for so long, though.

You spent most of the previous week smelling of blood (something he also found tantalizing but decided to not think too hard on), which meant that soon you'd be ovulating. It was funny, almost, how he had all but completely forgotten pretty much everything about how women worked, but a handful of months with you and he's suddenly keeping track of your cycle (sort of) like it has anything to do with him. The whole thing makes him strangely nostalgic for when he and Barb were trying to conceive, and the emotions of that only add to the inner tumult he feels. The fact that your smell becomes even more temping, more inviting in this time only makes things worse for him.

The new game you'd been playing recently, however, would be the straw that ultimately broke the camel's back.

The last few nights, you'd taken to settling in for sleep, as per usual, but your breathing wouldn't drop down into the same deep, rhythmic pattern that indicated unconsciousness. Instead, you'd roll over onto your belly, a position you didn't usually sleep in, laying on your arm, and begin rather conspicuously grinding against your hand, pretending to be asleep all the while.

Cooper Howard is a man with an excellent poker face. Not much shakes him badly enough to draw out a genuine reaction. But the first time you did this, he sat a few feet away, frozen, a lit cigarette burning itself away to nothing as it dangled between his parted lips. The smell of you, the sound of your little whimpers and quiet sighs, had kept him nailed to that spot beside you all night two nights in a row, even after you'd finished and actually drifted off to sleep.

He tells himself tonight will be different if you pull the same stunt.

Which, of course, you do.

A shocked gasp leaves you when he grabs you by the ankle, dragging you a few feet through the sandy dirt towards him and flipping you onto your back, staring down at you as he pulls himself halfway on top of you.

"Filthy fucking tease." he growls, your natural perfume making his head swim as his deft fingers move to the button of your pants.

The pitch dark of the desert night is eerily silent, save for the harsh sound of your breaths intertwining as he helps wrestle the worn material down your legs, trying his best to rein in his strength and not shred it to pieces in his haste to get to that warm, inviting place between your legs. A snarl, feral and borderline inhuman, rips from his throat when his fingers finally find what he's been fantasizing about. The small part of him that has any control is nervous for a split second, worried to frighten you, but the shudder that seems to break down your spine in response isn't one of fear.

He knows he should be gentle, take his time, but the wetness that he feels, the heat, the hormones in the air short circuit his brain, and after a few swipes at your puffy clit, he sinks his middle finger inside you in one fluid motion, giving a few pumps before sliding his ring finger in alongside it. The sounds you let out are the most beautiful thing he's ever heard, and they drive him to rub and tease and fuck you with his hands until you're whimpering his name in a way that tells him you're close. Fleetingly, he wonders what his odds of being able to knock you up really are.

You turn your head quickly and snag his lips in a passionate kiss just as you begin to come apart all over his fingers, leaving him swallowing your moans and whimpers as his hips buck and grind wildly against your own. It's sloppy and rough and your teeth are bumping against one another, but you still bring your leg up around his hip, letting him rub himself against you as he cums in his pants.

After a few minutes, the two of you calm down enough to really look at one another, though you're both a little hesitant. No one says anything for a good, long second, but the look on your red, sweaty face says you're happy. Nervous, he tucks his face back into the crook of your neck, laying a few soft, sort of awkward kisses there, debating whether he should pull away or not. He doesn't want to impose himself on you anymore than he already has.

But your leg remains wound around his hip, holding him close as your hands move up to cradle the back of his head, petting softly, and the loving touch glues him in place, too lost in your affection to even think about going anywhere. He knows that you two are going to have to have a long, likely awkward talk about this, about what this makes you. He isn't dreading it as much as he imagined he'd be. He's eager to call you his, actually, if you'll let him...

...but not so eager that he can ignore the way you're starting to grind against him again. Or the way he's getting hard all over again. Poor thing, you're not getting much sleep tonight, are you?

He'll make it up to you somehow.

[mementoasts]

elle flipnote

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

Flourish AU - Dragonheart Pirkko - Durmond Priory

Champion of the Caustic Elder Dragon

"Lasting change isn't gentle. It's harsh, abrasive, and inescapable. Either we'll adapt or we'll die trying."

"A better world starts with deciding what we're prepared to lose."

[leatherbookmark]

"I know why you want to return to our world, Meggie! You just miss your boyfriend! But we haven't seen everything of this beautiful world yet!" Mr Mortimer sir your wife was enslaved for working as a scribe disguised as a man. In this world women are punished for learning their fathers' craft and your thirteen years old daughter would be already married if she was born in this world. I know the books are very pretty but Mo your wife is pregnant. I don't think they have c-sections here :(

[ursaspecter]

what i say: i'm fine

what i mean: in the back to the future telltale game in episode 1 doc was talking about how jules and verne were already getting ready to go to college. and its just not brought up again. what the fuck. at that point marty hadnt seen him since october 1985 and it's may 1986 now. and this was before the idw comics so there was nothing to fill that gap yet. marty's best friend has been gone for so long his own kids are around marty's age now. i love the game and it's my favorite extension to bttf but holy shit why did they do that. i know in the end the timeline gets so changed around that the browns have been living in hill valley since the end of part 3 but marty wasnt around for that. this is another whole new doc he has to get to know now. how many times must marty lose his best friend to time travel

[six-improbable-things]

Been playing a fair bit of Islanders the past few days, after I bought it since it was on sale for less than $2. This is the best island I've ever done, and also the most crowded. Also the first time I managed to get a temple in and actually gain points off of it. Plus two towers, a monument, and a balloon. (Plus 2 taverns, a circus, and a resort oasis that got me NO POINTS, because it's in the sea behind the island, nowhere near anything, lmao.)

I'm pretty sure I was able to get 68 points with one building on this one?? Which was nuts. Definitely my best island yet. Having the "houses" and the "mansions" on two separate levels each with their own city center definitely saved my ass with this one.

[nikosheba]

A couple job interview hacks from someone who has to give a job interview every single goddamn day: (disclaimer: this goes for my process and my company’s process, other companies and industries might be different)

1. There are a few things I check and a few questions I ask literally just to figure out if you can play the game and get along with others in a professional setting. Part of the job I interview for is talking to people, and we work in teams. So if you can’t “play the game” a tiny bit, it’s not going to work. Playing the game includes:

- Why do you want to work here? (just prove that you googled the company, tell me like 1 thing about us, I just want to know that you did SOME kind of preparation for this interview)

- Are you wearing professional clothing? I don’t need a suit just don’t show up in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.

- Are you able to speak respectfully and without dropping f-bombs all the time? Not because I’m offended but because I don’t want to be reported to HR if you wind up on my team.

- Can you follow simple directions in an interview?

2. Stop telling me protected information. I don’t want to know about what drugs or medications you’re on, I don’t want to know about you being sick, I don’t want to know if you’re planning to have children soon, I don’t want to know anything about your personal life other than “can you do the job?” 

3. When we ask, “What questions do you have for me?” here are my favorites I’ve heard: - What does the day-to-day look like for a member of your team?

- If one of your team members was not performing up to his usual standard, what steps would you take to correct that?

- What can I start doing now to accelerate my learning process in this job?

- What are some reservations you have about me as a candidate? (be ready for this emotionally....it will REALLY help you in the future, and I’ve had people save themselves from a No after this, but can be hard to hear)

- In your opinion, what skills and qualities does the ideal candidate for this job possess?

- What advice would you give to a new hire in this position/someone who wanted to break into this industry, as someone who has worked here for a while?

Those are just my tips off-the-cuff. I work in sales in marketing/SAAS, so these can be very different depending on the industry, but I wish the people I interview could read this before they show up. 

[jupiterjunebug]

every episode i complete in tool academy au i go yeah THAT was the most insane challenge. then i read the summary of the next episode and go sigh. no. THIS is the most insane challenge

[taylor-titmouse]

hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator

i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.

this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.

i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:

DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE

hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.

and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.

you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.

okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.

YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS

good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.

porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!

as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.

while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!

to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY

hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.

god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!

this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).

okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!

also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.

abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.

I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT

kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.

please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.

as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.

[sunrizef1]

big reputation pt 2

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader, Max Verstappen x ex!reader

Warnings: Cursing

Authors note: sorry this took so long bbgs

Pt 1 Pt 3

yourusername added to their story

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

alex_albon

Friend???

Yeah, real fucking funny

yourusername

Get out of my DMs

—————————————

lilymhe

“Friend”?

Girl that's the love of your life

“Not because he owns me but because he rly knows me” or whatever

yourusername

Ah I love him 😍

lilymhe

Trust me, i know

I've seen more than I want to

—————————————

fernandoalo_official

friend?

Querida, ese hombre te ama.

yourusername

You're the third person to comment on the “friend” thing

fernandoalo_official

Porque las únicas personas que no saben que os queréis son ciegas 😂

translation: (Friend? Darling, that man loves you) (you're the third person to comment on the friend thing) (because the only people who don't know you love each other are blind)

——————————————

logansargeant

Friend???

yourusername

Oh my god

——————————————

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

oscarpiastri

I don't appreciate being cut out of this picture

yourusername

Are you my boyfriend or his teammate

oscarpiastri

I'm his friend 😔

yourusername

you'll get an Insta story the day Im in your garage for race day

oscarpiastri

But you'd never be in my garage

yourusername

Well 🤷‍♀️

oscarpiastri

Damn 😔

———————————————

yourusername added to their story

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

logansargeant

DELETE DELETE DELETE

THEYRE GONNA FIGURE OUT THATS ME AND BURN ME AT THE STAKE

yourusername

LMFAO

—————————————————

TWITTER

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by logansargeant taylorswift and 31,998,776 others

yourusername guys!!!! Ive seen the support on reputation and after the year I’ve had, I’m so grateful for every person that’s listened to and supported the album. As a little present for your support, I’m going on tour!!! This is only leg 1, so if there isn’t a show near you, look out for leg 2 after this one, we’ll be visiting several more countries and cities! Tickets go on sale tomorrow at 10 AM, I can’t wait to see you all on the Reputation Stadium Tour!!! 🖤🖤🖤

load comments…

user1 YESSSSSS LETS GO

user2 omg I’m gonna be back in the trenches of Ticketmaster again

user3 I need to hear don’t blame me in a packed stadium plssss

user4 no KC????

yourusername we’ll be in kc on leg 2 100%!!!

user4 LFG!!!! Tysm bae

user5 damn she loves Vegas doesn’t she

user6 the most random schedule ever lmfao

user7 she’s going to Austria!!!! No one ever goes to Austria!!!

user8 this is the first tour I’ve seen that isn’t just entirely American cities lmfao

user9 there’s like actual European cities instead of just London lol

user10 I think I recognize the order of some of these stops…

user11 Baku is so random lmfao

user12 why does she go back and forth to the us like 4 times??? 😭

charles_leclerc can’t wait!!!!

yourusername 🫶

user13 she’s coming to Hungary 😍

logansargeant this schedule looks a bit familiar 🤔

yourusername wonder why that is 🤷🏻‍♀️

user14 these tickets are gonna be so hard to get

landonorris so which show are we all going too then

oscarpiastri from the looks of it, we could go to all of them

landonorris I might not go that far 😅

logansargeant I will 🫡

lewishamilton my votes for London n1

carlossainz I say Madrid

fernandoalo_official how about both

liked by yourusername

user15 I live in France but I will be buying tickets to Madrid and London in hopes of seeing the drivers

user16 OHHHH ITS THE F1 SCHEDULE

liked by yourusername

———————————————

yourusername added to their story

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Toronto, Canada

liked by landonorris logansargeant and 35,998,004 others

yourusername Toronto you were absolutely electric for opening night of the Reputation Tour!!! I’m in awe of how many of you came out to support the show and I hope it lived up to your expectations! It was also nice to see some friends come out to support before their race this weekend 🫶. Thank you so much Toronto, I’ll see you guys again for Night 3!

Tagged: lilymhe alex_albon oscarpiastri landonorris fernandoalo_official georgerussel carmenmundt logansargeant

Load comments…

user17 WAIT THIS IS SO CUTE

user18 the show was so good!!!!!

user19 did yall see all the drivers hanging out in the vip tent 😭

user20 y/n kept pointing at the tent during every love song 😭😭😭

user21 it was so amazing!

landonorris what is that picture of me, I do not remember that

yourusername it’s from when your flight landed at two am and you both showed up to soundcheck at 6 am

landonorris and you decided to post that one???

yourusername it’s the only picture I have where you’re not wearing McLaren merch 🤷‍♀️

user22 wait Oscar and Lando showing up to soundcheck is kind of adorable

fernandoalo_official it was very good chica!!

yourusername thank you Nando!!!

user23 that picture of Alex and Lily is so cute

lilymhe it was so amazing, I’m so glad the schedule happens to line up so I can go to more shows!!! 🫶

yourusername you can have a reserved spot in the vip tent lils ❤️

lilymhe 😭🫶

user24 why is Logan tagged on the microphone slide??? He’s not in the slideshow but he’s tagged???

user25 slide 8 is 100% him but she just didn’t tag him, I know it

lewishamilton this is Lewis Hamilton erasure

yourusername ahhhh I’m sorry lew! I don’t have a good picture of you at the show where you’re not out of focus!

lewishamilton this is what happens when I let Fernando take pictures. Guess I’ll just have to go to more shows until I make the slideshow 🤔

yourusername you’re welcome any time, it was great to have you 🫶

user25 slide 8 is so cute 😭

logansargeant so good 😍

yourusername 🫶

user26 now why did Logan have the least to say out of anyone 🙄

user27 I’m convinced it’s because they’re sitting next to each other right now

alex_albon lilys now obsessed with the show so I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of us during leg 1

yourusername don’t act like you didn’t have fun as well

alex_albon oh I definitely did, I’ll have to start planning new reputation themed outfits to match the crowd

yourusername the bleached hair would match perfectly

charles_leclerc me and Alex had a wonderful time, thank you so much for inviting us!!!

yourusername it was so great to have you both supporting the show!

alexandrasaintmleux it was beautiful, mon chou!

yourusername tysm Alex ❤️

user28 all the drivers in the comments 😭

oscarpiastri Lando cried

landonorris no I didn’t stfu

yourusername there’s pictures lan

landonorris New Year’s Day is just so heartwarming 😔

yourusername dw lan, there’s also pictures of Oscar crying

oscarpiastri you know why I cried 😔 I’m just empathetic for his happiness 🙄

user29 “I’m empathetic for his happiness” okay so that’s about Logan and you can’t tell me otherwise

————————————————

yourusername added to their story

lewishamilton

Honored to make it into the slideshow 🫶

yourusername

lol you’re welcome lew

——————————————

alex_albon

Why do you have a picture of me asleep

yourusername

guess

alex_albon

Lily?

yourusername

Of course

———————————————

georgerussell

I’m going to be completely honest

I was completely black out

yourusername

I could tell

Not offended

georgerussell

Hey I do remember the giant snake though

this just means I’ll have to go to more shows and remember those ones

yourusername

You and Carmen are always welcome

————————————————

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

landonorris

Thank you?

Not sure to reply to the small-ass text

yourusername

dw the lmfao wasn’t about you

landonorris

Yeah, I assumed lmao

Glad I could avenge you 🫡

————————————————

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Rage Against the Machine - Wake Up 1992

"Wake Up" is a song by American rockband Rage Against the Machine, from their self-titled debut album. While never released as a single, it remains a staple of their live shows and is usually played as the last song before the encore; the spoken word portion of the song is often replaced with a speech addressing contemporary issues, given by frontman Zack de la Rocha. The lyrics discuss racism within the American government and the counter-intelligence programs of the FBI; a spoken portion of the song is taken from an actual FBI memo in which its director J. Edgar Hoover suggests targets for the suppression of the black nationalist movement. The song also makes references to prominent African-American figures targeted by the government such as Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr., and goes as far as saying that the government arranged their assassinations.

The album was a critical success upon release, with several critics noting the album's politically motivated agenda and praising frontman Zack de la Rocha's strong vocal delivery. Ranked number 24 on Rolling Stone's list of the "100 Greatest Metal Albums of All Time", the album peaked at number 1 on the US Billboard Heatseekers chart and number 45 on the US Billboard 200 and has gone on to achieve a triple platinum sales certification from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). In 2020, it was ranked 221 in Rolling Stone's updated list of the "500 Greatest Albums of All Time".

"Wake Up" was used in the end credits of the 1999 blockbuster hit The Matrix. A cover, performed by Brass Against, is featured over the end credits of the 2021 film The Matrix Resurrections, mirroring its use in the original film. The song is also included on the soundtrack to the 2001 BMX video game Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX 2.

"Wake Up" received a total of 68,8% yes votes!

[kcggggg]

Licensing is Fine (repost from patreon)

Folks, It's happening. After 10 (11 now) years of the "This is Fine" meme taking over the world slowly, I have asked politely if now would be a good time to license the shit out of it. And the crowd shouted "YES!"

Not only do we have this Brand New Talking Figurine coming out soon (designed by Grayson Evans, who is taking commissions right now) (the figure goes on sale 4/2 and is now available for preorder. It will also be available wherever books are sold), but I am also working with several other companies on buttons, pins, patches, calendars, and etc. Basically, the next time you go to Hot Topic or FYE and see all those patches and pins at the front, near the registers, you will most likely find some OFFICIAL This is Fine merch hanging out there too.

We also have some specialty soft enamel pins coming out (or possibly already out) from Zen Monkey Studios featuring panel pins and cooler designs of Question Hound in both of his moods. I believe you will find these in the same physical places as the other pins Or you can order em online!

Plus a lot more we're still working on/waiting for. New shirts comin' at ya soon that you can find AT A MALL! I got an agent and he's doing his best routine of e-mailing folks on my behalf and asking if there's interest in "this is fine" and most of them say "sure!" so I guess there's some room for me after all.

All of this is to simply inform you, the public! Yes, there will always be bootleggers. But they don't matter in the long run. And Yes, I still have my Topatoco store of "This is Fine" merch as well. That won't go anywhere either. I'm just expanding my scope, cus this little dog is gettin' bigger than I ever expected to be in charge of. But don't fret, for my hand is GLUED to the wheel.

Okay than you for your time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗦𝗢𝗙𝗧 𝗟𝗔𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗛 | 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗠

　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x singer!reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N and Matt have been in a stable relationship hidden from the media for months, until they were forced by it to do a soft launch.

WARNING: None.

REQUESTED?: Yes, from anon.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Y/N²: I hope yall like it! it was my first time doing something like that, and I actually loved it!! I was dying to do some famous!reader, so I took the liberty to do it with this one, I hope it's okay.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

liked by arianagrande, taylorswift and 3,028,299 others

ynsinstagram THE SECRET OF US TOUR STARTS IN 15 DAYS 😭😩 who's excited?

view all 67,044 comments

ynfan1 ME?????? DUH

ynfan2 THIS IS GOING TO BE HISTORICAL, WRITE MY WORDS ‼️

ynfan3 well, considering the pre sale broke her website, all stadium dates sold out in seconds, all social media talking about it...

conangrey I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU AGAIN 🙌🏻

ynfan4 I'M GOING INSANE, IDK WHAT TO WEAR 😭

sabrinacarpenter YES YES YES 🔥

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

liked by sturniolofan1, sturniolofan2 and 5,028 others

sturnioloteam Matt spotted out and alone in London today!

view all 3,065 comments

sturniolofan1 wtf is he doing in London?

sturniolofan2 didn't Chris just post a picture in LA? 😭

sturnioloandynfan1 wait, isn't today the London concert of Y/N’s tour??? 🤡

sturniolofan3 wtf does this have to do with Matt?

sturniolofan4 since when Matt goes to other country ALONE????

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

liked by oliviarodrigo, harrystyles and 4,268,459 others

ynsinstagram HIIIII LONDON 🎀🇬🇧

view all 478,384 comments

ynfan1 SHE'S SUCH AN ANGEL 🥺

ynfan2 wait, why does she have 2 coffees?

ynfan3 maybe she's with someone from her band?

sturnioloandynfan2 WAIT A MINUTE ‼️ what's Matt's car key doing on her purse????????

ynfan4 what do you mean?

sturnioloandynfan3 OMG TRUE! that's his keychain 🫠

sturniolofan5 DID I HEARD MATT????

oliviarodrigo LONDON GIRL RIGHT THERE BABY ‼️🇬🇧

ynfan5 I LOVE YOUR FRIENDSHIP 😭

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

liked by christophersturniolo, nathandoe8 and 1,029,268 others

matthew.sturniolo I'm everywhere but currently in london 🇬🇧

view all 158,472 comments

sturniolofan8 so we're just gonna ignore the elephant in the room or what?

sturnioloandynfan4 I've never thought about this possibility but...

ynfan9 I'm so sure they're the cutest together 🥺

sturniolofan6 yall are so damn dramatic, no one confirmed anything, stop being so delusional

sturniolofan3 stop being so unhappy dude, ew

christophersturniolo bring me some fish and chips when you get back

ynfan4 IS THAT Y/N'S NECKLACE?????

nicolassturniolo london boy

ynandsturniolofan2 is that supposed to be an analogy to taylor's song? 😭

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

liked by ynfan2, sturniolofan6 and 268,459 others

people Singer Y/N Y/L/N and youtuber Matthew Sturniolo were spotted together today in London.

view all 85,730 comments

ynfan8 wtf is wrong with yall?? leave Y/N alone, she deserves privacy!

ynfan5 omg it HAD to be people

sturniolofan7 omg no way matt is on people 😭

nicolassturniolo this is honestly so messed up and such a huge invasion of privacy. please, delete this!

sabrinacarpenter I hate you guys. this is so mean. delete it right now!

ynfan9 how the fuck yall always find a way to disturb Y/N's peace?

sturniolofan3 OMG OMG OMG OMG

ynfan6 everything makes sense now

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

liked by ynfan2, sturniolofan3 and 1,938 others

ynandsturniolofan6 OMG??? NO WAY I JUST FIND MATT IN Y/N'S CONCERT 😭😭 that's my favorite day ever ✋🏻

view all 827 comments

sturniolofan1 wait, what??? he was at the line to enter the stadium?

ynandsturniolofan6 no! he was about to enter Y/N's backstage area

sturniolofan7 omg he's looking so fucking good 😩

ynfan8 yeah Y/N, I get it now

sturnioloandynfan5 it's SO CUTE the fact he came from LA to see her in London 😭

sturniolofan4 but why London, thought? doesn't she have three concerts in LA next month?

ynfan5 IS THAT Y/N'S NECKLACE AGAIN???? I'M GOING CRAZY

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

liked by sturniolotriplets, madisonbeer and 2,628,038 others

matthew.sturniolo we met here, on a random avenue in London, on the first day of your vacation and the second of mine, and neither of us knew where to go, and we ended up visiting tourist spots together. now we´re here for your sold-out show, something you used to dream about just some months ago, and i’m so grateful to be part of this. I love you, petal. you deserve this more than anyone else.

view all 1,728,426 comments

nicolassturniolo PARENTS!!!

christopher.sturniolo that's beautiful man

ynfan5 stop this is so cute 😭

sturniolofan1 "petal" LSKSISMAKAMDO 😭😭😭😭

sturniolofan2 I've never thought I would see Matt posting smt with so many words

ynandsturniolofan3 I'M CRYING WHAT

ynfan7 so... it's been happening for MONTHS???

madisonbeer you'll make me cry, I love you two so much 🥺

nathandoe8 Matt is such a soft for Y/N

yourinstagram are you jealous? chris is right there 😌

christopher.sturniolo what's that supposed to mean?

ynsinstagram I owe all of this to you. if it wasn't for all your incentives and belief in me, I wouldn't be here today. I love you so fucking much 🥹🩷

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

tag: matthew.sturniolo

liked by billieeilish, matthew.sturniolo and 5,268,459 others

ynsinstagram The Secret Of Us Tour. London I. June 2024.

view all 872,372 comments

sturniolofan6 was it Matt who took the pic? 🥺

ynsinstagram yes!! 😁

ynfan5 I'm no longer alive, this concert was AMAZING

sturnioloandynfan3 the way Y/N was looking at the back of the stadium ALL THE TIME, smiling like crazy, was the cutest thing ever

ynfan9 the way she look at him??? Matt you're a lucky man

matthew.sturniolo loved every bit of it! ❤️

ynsinstagram love you 🥺🩷

ynfan4 Y/N is the prettiest girl in the world!

matthew.sturniolo agreed

ynandsturniolofan2 they're THE MOMENT!!!

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @earth2starkey @freshloveforthefit @sturniolowhore @luvr4miya @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @hearts4chriss @cupidzsq @junnniiieee07 @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @soimightlikeoldmen69 @ldr-sl0t @its-jennarose @sainzzsturns @ecliphttlunar @soso-scarlettolivia @bitchydragonparadise @freshsturns @h3arts4harry @patscorner @strnilolo @bernardsbendystraws @poetatorturadaa @meg-sturniolo @orangeypepsi @jnkvivi @chrisactualwife @fratbrochrisgf @elordilover @somegirlfromasgard @hpyjw @colorthecosmos444 @thewhispersofthewaves @mattslolita @imwetforyourmom @mrl217 @delilahsversion @sturnsmia @mattsfavbitchhh @sturnioloshacker @soursturniolo @blahbel668 @sarosfilms @moncherriis @tobesolonelyjess @zayyluvz

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[kurishiri]

Mystery Bag 2025 ┊ Team 2: The trash bastards and the troubled fox

Harrison, Alfons, Jude, Nica

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to narrative flow and characterization purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— the mystery bag 2025 sale is a story set sale where the guys are put into teams and participate in a relay event thing. this is one of three teams (i love al too much to pass this by aa orz)! you can read the prologue, translated by @.judesmoonbeauty, here.

— cw: mentions of drugging or spiking drinks, bribing, and groping.

——Group 2 for the preliminary contest: Harrison, Alfons, Jude, Nica.

[SKY]

Steering committee: Then, we will begin the round for group 2.

Steering committee: Who will reach the goal first and emerge the happy boy for 2025?!

Steering committee: Let us go all out! Take your places, and…start!

[PARK - DAY]

Harrison: Oh, jeez, that was fast. So, why are you guys all standing there?

Alfons: Since the spectators are no longer in sight, so I figured if it was around now or so,

A: it would be a good time to drop this act of competing to the hardest and fullest.

Harrison: What? (O_O)

H: Or wait a minute, I’m pretty sure Al’s no exception; you guys are scheming something weird, aren’t you.

Jude: Who are ya gonna blame when ya don’t have a drop o’ evidence on ya? Way to make others out as the villain.

Nica: Agreed. I wouldn’t dream of scheming anything so bad in broad daylight, you know.

Harrison: Your lies are so damn obvious. I don’t even need to use my ability to figure that out.

H: If you all get caught, would you be alright getting disqualified?

Alfons: Oh, goodness, shiver me timbers. I’ll be honest, so hold your silence, alright?

A: I’m sure you’re aware there is a spot you can take a quick water break a bit up ahead, no?

A: I maaay or may not have pulled an ever so slight trick on the drinks.

A: Said trick being a sleeping drug that can knock one out immediately.

Harrison: You’re the worst.

Jude: Well, seems like somethin’ that walkin’ offense to public morals would pull outta his arse.

Alfons: And what of you?

Jude: Jus’ gave some money on a stick to the committee and told ‘em to tamper with the info and give us the win.

J: There’s been a wave o’ people, so it wouldn’t get outed.

Harrison: You’re no better.

Nica: I’d expect nothing less from the company president, dirtying your hands. Someone as well-bred as me could never.

Harrison: And? What’s up your sleeve?

Nica: Now don’t go lumping me together with that mirror man and president.

N: All I did was use my superior intellect and surveying skills. …Say, did you know?

N: This time, beneath the course there’s a sewer. One that’ll lead you right next to the goal.

N: So I was thinking of slipping underground, bide my time… and take first place.

Jude & Alfons: What a bastard. / Very much as low as trash.

Nica: You guys are the last ones I want to be called ‘trash bastards’ from.

Harrison: Damn, it’s trash bastards left and right.

H: So? What did you hope to gain from all this?

Alfons: Why of course, it’s to use Her Majesty’s authority to do this and that and aaall things in between.

Harrison: I was a fool for ever asking.

H: What about you, Jude?

Jude: Anythin’ goes. There’s a whole load o’ things I wanna do with the Queenie’s authority.

J: Well, I’d bet that bad guy over there would ask for somethin’ ridiculous.

Nica: As if. I’m just trying to earn what I very much love — money.

N: There’s never enough money to go around.

Harrison: If that’s what you really think, then I’ll leave it at that.

Nica: …Being able to pick up on lies, huh. You’ve got a troublesome ability on you, don’t you, Harrison Gray.

Harrison: They said abilities were forbidden. I’m just reading what you’re feeling.

Nica: You’re the only one who’ll ever know if you’re using your ability or not. I’d expect nothing less of the one Cursed by the Lying Fox.

Harrison: Thanks, I guess.

Nica: ——Anyway, what are we going to do from now on?

Alfons: Whatever could you mean?

Nica: I mean, seeing as we all revealed our hands, I can’t imagine this will end nice and smooth.

N: For the record, I’m fine with taking each other down. Since I don’t hold back against bastards and all.

Jude: Ha, I like the sound o’ that. The last one standin’ wins. Simple, clear-cut, n’ easy to understand.

Alfons: Though I can’t say I enjoy such brutish things, I suppose sacrifices may be inevitable.

Harrison: Hey you guys——

Woman’s cry: Ahh!

Harrison: That voice…

Woman’s cry: Someone! There’s a groper— he groped me!

Nica: A groper, huh.

N: Yeah, I figured. There’s bound to be some stupid humans who can’t hold themselves back and take advantage of the festival.

N: I just don’t get it. Well, I’m sure with this crowd, he’ll get caught in no time.

Alfons: I’m sure a man foolish enough to grope others will be caught soon——

A: But as I recall, the direction that man is running happens to be toward the place Kate has come to cheer for us, isn’t it?

Harrison: …I’ll go. I’m worried about her.

H: You guys can do whatever.

Jude: Tch, can’t stand the thought o’ leaving ‘er alone and gettin’ yelled at.

Alfons: Ahha! Are the men who haven’t run that much before going full speed ahead now?

A: What are you going to do, Nica?

Nica: Guess I’ll go too? Standing idle around won’t do much anyway.

[ALLEYWAY]

Groper: Dammit… why are you guys chasing after me! Ah——

Harrison: Okay, caught you.

Jude: Keep that trash bastard o’ a pervert restrained.

Harrison: That was my intention.

H: Ahh, you guys came too?

Nica: Ohh, so this is the groper, huh. Haha, now that’s a face that’ll probably stir up trouble with women.

Alfons: Judging by one’s outward appearance is nonsense. That said, though, he does sport a rather unfulfilled expression.

Groper: I didn’t do it! My hand just happened to touch her butt.

Groper: And besides! Aren’t you guys the one who’s got some unfulfilled desires, stirring up all this fuss all over this?

Alfons: Oh, you happened to, didn’t you.

A: On the way here, I caught onto something, you see.

A: As far as I heard, six women were bringing up how they were getting touched by you.

A: Why that is one hefty coincidence indeed, dare I say.

A: Or could it be your hands were implanted with a magnet that drew you to women’s rears?

Nica: And besides, we’ve got a handy lie detector right here.

N: So? Which is it?

Harrison: Everything you’re saying is a lie. There’s no doubt about that.

H: Well, that’s my intuition, at least.

Groper: …gh.

Groper: D-damn it all! Yeah, okay, I did it!

Nica: Okay, okay, I’ve heard just about enough of that bastard’s dirty voice.

Alfons: Now then, having confessed so honestly, what punishment shall we do?

A: Ahh, come to think of it, our abilities are off the table, aren’t they. Well then, Jude.

Jude: Show that nasty arse o’ yours. The one ya fondled with.

Groper: Guah!

Nica: Wow, that sounded brutal. His bones are probably broken.

Alfons: My heartfelt condolences. Well, what should we do with this knocked out man?

Harrison: Hand him over to the police.

H: Today we’re not Crown and Vogel, but rather just participants.

Jude: Whatever floats your boat. I couldn’t care less.

An unclear cry: Ahh!

Harrison: Another one…? (O_O)

Alfons: What is it this time?

[BRIDGE]

Kate: Ah— guys!

K: There’s a big problem, all the participants who had the drinks from the break spot ended up falling fast asleep!

Alfons: Is that so?

Kate: And then a committee member started to reveal that they’d been threatened and bribed and——

Jude: Hmm.

Kate: And on top of that, it was discovered that someone was going to use the sewer as an unjust move!

Nica: Well, I’ll be.

Kate: Just who could be behind these? It’s too much like what a trash bastard would do, and I can’t look past that!

Harrison: Go on, Kate, keep it going.

Kate: Wha——?

Fin.

team 1 team 2 team 3

ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍