#and it gives me such a great idea of how a movie is physically built

[kaijusmart]

i consistently get the best ideas from my dreams its so aweome. my dreams have always been very very vivid and it really feels like its my brain processing all my knowlege in a way i cant when im awake. my whole life ive woken up from dreams with really strong ideas for art or stories or something. i want to be a director someday and ive gotten a lot of ideas for movies from my dreams. I have 2 main ideas based off of dreams at the moment. it really feels like my dreams are rough drafts of a film waiting for me to finish them. i have normal dreams, but ive also always had dreams in video game format, and in recent years genuine film format. i have some dreams that are movies, but some of them that are formatted like im making a film and reshooting until i refine the idea.

so the one i just had, it had really amazing overhead and mid shots that showed off the set/setting well, and showed me specific props and dressing needed. it had really good tracking shots at specific moments, and included the type of editing/transition style between shots. anyway i wanna try to refine the story and write a screenplay for it. by fucking god i will make movies someday i just dont know when. i need more (any) industry experience first and seeing how movies are made. but i want to. so bad.

at the moment i have 2 ideas for films from dreams, and an idea for a miniseries i developed awake a couple years ago. my dreams are awesome tho cause they lay out the shots and sets for me. I have very detailed sketches working out the main house plan and style from my first dream film. :)

[thelostgirl21]

Alright, so this is a reply to @my-jokes-are-my-armour brilliant additions to my post, because the original one was getting insanely long, and apparently I had lots of feels about this, but asfoljasdfklsf;asldkfas;flkjasdlkjffslksjdf;s...

That "maybe"...

There are so many possible "layers" to that "maybe"!

And that's definitely one the places where Jaskier and Radovid's respective situations massively differ in that scene, too, IMHO.

Like you've said, Jaskier has a found family that he's spent about 20+ years investing in.

So, obviously, it would make absolutely no sense for him to sacrifice the ties he's already built with Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri, for a relationship that does have great potential, but is still in its infancy; whereas Radovid has made no such personal commitments in his life.

I don't know if you're familiar with the YouTube channel "Cinema Therapy" (basically, a psychologist and filmmaker analysing various movie relationships, characters psychology, etc. I highly recommend it!), but they've occasionally spoken about the notion of "shelving your agenda".

Essentially, "shelving your agenda" relates to a person's ability to "temporarily delay one's own needs to meet those of another".

And, in this particular situation, the only one of them that can afford to shelve his own agenda for the other is Radovid.

Because, at that moment, Jaskier is facing the possibility of devastating potential losses within his family system that greatly threaten his emotional and psychological well-being.

Radovid can (or at least could, while Vizimir was the one still wearing that crown) afford to be the one providing him with emotional, physical and financial support to give Jaskier his best chance at being reunited with those he loves.

But Jaskier can't really promise or offer Radovid anything in return for the time being.

And sadly, he doesn't know how bad things are for Radovid at court, either.

He doesn't know that Philippa and Dijkstra orchestrated Queen Hedwig's murder, right under King Vizimir's nose, with such confidence in their ability to get away with it that they openly told the Crown Prince of Redania about it!

He doesn't know about Radovid's relationship dynamic with his brother, and the fact that being the King's little brother is no longer enough to keep Radovid safe in that castle.

And I don't think Jaskier fully grasps just how much being in his presence is already offering Radovid something that's rather essential for his own emotional and psychological well-being, too, that he has never been able to find anywhere else.

Jaskier: "You don't understand. [This is not me trying to walk away from a relationship with you.] The war brewing outside is nothing compared to what Geralt will unleash on this Continent to find his daughter. [I'm pretty much planning to go throw myself headfirst into some desperate suicide mission with a stubborn, insanely protective Witcher dad!] I don't know what happens next. [I've no idea what will happen to me. Out there, none of us will be safe!]"

Radovid: [Oh boy! Where do I even start?] "Just let me be there with you." [Trust me, as terrible as you are trying to make it sound, joining you on a suicide mission following an angry overprotective Witcher around is actually my safest, least bad option.] "Prove that I'm more than a mask." [I belong with you and your family out there, not stuck at court playing games!]

Basically, I've a feeling that Jaskier might be operating under the belief that the safest place for the Crown Prince of Redania to be, in times of war with Nilfgaard, is behind the well guarded walls of a castle; not running around the Continent helping him and Geralt go rescue a Princess!

If he returns to Tretogor and stay there, Radovid will have an entire army standing between him and Nilfgaard!

Which, you know, is pretty much the reason that had convinced him that Ciri might be better off in Redania rather than anywhere else...

If he comes with him, well, Radovid is probably one of the last people you'd want anyone loyal to Nilfgaard to get their hands on.

The King's brother - and sole current living heir to the throne (at the time) - is very much someone that Redania's enemies would want to capture so they can use as leverage against the King.

And Jaskier's pretty much planning on being Geralt's ride or die companion on his quest to find Ciri.

So, I'm not sure how comfortable Jaskier is with the possibility of Radovid getting himself captured by enemies or killed trying to help them out there; or, even worse, winding up sacrificing his life to save Jaskier's.

Because Radovid has already proven that he values Jaskier's safety and freedom above his own, when he ditched his whole (now very dead) royal security detail to go see him and Ciri at the cabin.

Radovid is willing to make Jaskier his #1 priority, in a situation where Jaskier needs to make Geralt, Yennefer and Ciri his own #1 priority.

Jaskier is planning to "shelve his agenda" for his family, to the point of being willing to risk sacrificing his life for them…

…while Radovid is talking about "shelving his agenda" for Jaskier, while being willing to risk sacrificing his life for him, and - by extension - Jaskier's family, too.

It's likely a lot for Jaskier to take in.

And, perhaps, knowing that Radovid - at least - would be safe back in his castle, would give Jaskier some peace of mind, and even something for him to fight to come back to, should he somehow succeed in helping Geralt get Ciri back without managing to get himself killed in the process!

So, Jaskier's "maybe" is likely the most sincere answer Jaskier can give him at the moment, since Jaskier genuinely doesn't know what happens next, and he probably doesn't want Radovid to make the decision to take such a huge risk for himself and his family based on the promise of things that he might never be given the chance to offer him.

Had Jaskier known that the greatest threat Radovid was facing could be found within his castle's well guarded walls, his response to Radovid's desire to be there with him might have been different.

Perhaps he might have said something along the lines of "Forget about the money, and if you really want to come with me, come with me now! We'll think of a way to let your brother know you're relatively safe, and haven't been killed or kidnapped while we're on the road!", or something.

And then, hope his own family would understand why he chose to take Radovid with him, and for them hopefully to not be upset that he's just managed to make their whole situation even more complicated than it already was.

[Poor Geralt though…

Geralt: Let me get this straight… Of all the people on the Continent you could have romantically fallen for, you somehow managed to pick the Crown Prince of Redania? And now, the prince - who comes from a bad home that has been mistreating him - has been following you outside his castle, and you're asking if we can adopt and keep him?

Jaskier: *Smiles sheepishly and attempts to look adorable.* Yes?

Geralt: *Mumbling to himself.* Why does Destiny fucking hate me so much? How many princes and princesses am I supposed to be looking after? I'm a Witcher, for fuck's sake! I'm supposed to be killing monsters! Not opening a royal rescue shelter…

Radovid: *Concerned.* Ah, is your Witcher okay?

Jaskier: Just give him a moment to have a mental breakdown, and he'll be fine!]

But Jaskier doesn't know how bad things are for Radovid back at Tretogor.

Actually, even Radovid himself doesn't fully know!

As far as Radovid is concerned, Dijkstra briefly perceived him as a threat - or at least a nuisance - with regards to the complete and absolute influence he has on King Vizimir, and threatened to have him killed if he gets in their way.

So, by leaving, he'd technically be doing him a favor! No more "baby prince brother" royalsitting for Dijkstra and Philippa! They can go back to the way they've always preferred doing things, without having Radovid to deal with!

But Radovid doesn't know his brother has decided to let Philippa take the fall for Thanedd, and that the best solution the sorceress came up with, to deal with the issue, is "Yup! Imma get rid of Vizimir and put that spare on the throne!"

On a scale of 0 to "the spymasters are so confident they can get away with regicide that they feel totally comfortable making the guy they gleefully confessed Queen Hedwig's murder to King", just how fucking screwed are you?

I don't think Radovid had fully realised he'd reached that very last stage yet.

But yeah, Jaskier answering "maybe" made much more sense, to me, than him going "yes please, come with me, where I'll almost certainly manage to get you and/or myself killed in a desperate attempt to keep my family safe!"

And I love how long he hesitates before giving that answer, and the way his thoughts really appear to be racing, even after he says "maybe", because it is an incredibly complex and multi-factorial situation for him to deal with.

Whereas Radovid has essentially two choices:

Return to a loveless, toxic, dangerous place where he's totally disconnected from himself, and isolated from healthy human interactions.

Be out there in the world, risking his life for something - someone - that's worth taking those risks for, thus acting in accordance with who he is, and what matters to him the most.

So, Radovid basically saying "I'm all in! Let's go!", while Jaskier is saying "maybe", to me, might have more to do with how well they are both ready to handle and accept the potential consequences of Radovid choosing to go with Jaskier at that moment; than it has to do with how much they both desire to have the chance to potentially be together, or even Jaskier struggling with forgiving him.

Of course, there's also Jaskier's own personal fears (of abandonment, of falling back into unhealthy codependent patterns, etc.) that may play a role in him hesitating to treat his feelings for Radovid as a full-fledged partnership right away, and being comfortable with the idea of trusting Radovid enough to rely on him for support, too (trust and forgiveness are not quite the same thing).

That "maybe" is filled with so much potential delicious meanings, I'm telling you!

And, given that being told "maybe" didn't deter Radovid from wanting to go to Jaskier, I've a feeling that Radovid knew that Jaskier's "maybe" was also filled with a lot of hope and yearning, and as close to a "yes" as Jaskier could afford to offer him.

After all, he'd already told Radovid that his plans [of breaking things off between them] had changed.

When Radovid said "I don't get it", Jaskier could have answered him with: "it's the right thing to do", or "I may no longer want to see you, that doesn't mean I wish you to get hurt, Radovid", or "I owe you for having ditched - and now lost - your guards when you came to see me. This is me doing what I can do to pay back the favor."

But Jaskier said "plans change", with some of the most cautiously hopeful and vulnerable puppy dog eyes I've ever seen him throw at anyone.

To me, there was a sense of forgiveness and a bit of an apology, even, in Jaskier's expression at that moment…

Because the fact remains that Jaskier didn't offer Radovid his help, the night before, when he told him he was scared; resulting in Jaskier having allowed Radovid to back himself into that corner where people might say and do stupid things.

It would be a bit unfair for Jaskier to be upset with Radovid for not having trusted him with everything he knew when he came to see him and Ciri, when Jaskier himself was so scared to trust Radovid that he didn't call him out for having avoided to directly answer his question, and instead chose to test what he'd do with the information that the forcefield only lasted 'til dawn.

He's accusing Radovid of not fully trusting him and having kept his full intentions from him, when Jaskier himself literally set up a trap for him, because he was too scared to trust him…

And Radovid had the honesty of saying "I'm scared, Jaskier", at the very least. Whereas Jaskier kept his own fears to himself, and chose to play games and test him.

Granted, Radovid could have pretended to be scared to get Jaskier to lower his defenses, and manipulate him. I'm not saying that Jaskier didn't have very valid reasons for choosing to test him, rather than opting for a direct confrontation.

Trust eventually does become essential in a relationship, but it would be unrealistic to expect it to "magically be there" until both sides have experienced how the other responds in a variety of situations - including their ability to make each other still feel safe while they handle conflicts and mistakes.

So, I'm not pointing out Jaskier's own contribution to this whole mess while trying to determine who is to blame, who was wrong, or who hurt the other the most.

Just hoping that, maybe, Jaskier is allowing himself to recognize that they are both very flawed, complex and human individuals that never meant to hurt each other at that moment.

That part of the reasons why he sits down and looks at Radovid with such a sad, defeated expression, is that he's realizing that they were simply dealing and coping with their own respective fears and doubts as best they could back at the cabin, and got both a good, strong bite in the arse as a result!

When Radovid ran away from the cabin earlier, Jaskier made a little move as if instinctively wanting to run after him.

I think that, maybe, in all of the ways Jaskier might have expected their confrontation to go when "catching Radovid in the act" that morning, he might have imagined facing more outrage from Radovid, more fight…

He might have expected for him to start blaming him in return, etc.

Because, had Radovid indeed been a "knife" and wearing a mask with Jaskier, he might have played "meek" and attempted to "reason with" Jaskier in the beginning in a desperate last ditch attempt to hold onto his mask, sure!

But, when he'd realised it didn't work - and Jaskier would not be so easily fooled - the mask would eventually have had to come off!

Radovid could easily have pretended that he had only wanted to test if Jaskier was being sincere with him.

He could have claimed that he'd realised, the night before, that Jaskier had only let him know about when the forcefield would come down, because he'd never truly cared about him, nor trusted him!

And low and behold! He was right!

Radovid could have accused Jaskier of having been dishonest and manipulative with him, of only having ever pretended to care for him, so he could use him because of his wealth and position at court.

He could have mocked Jaskier for having claimed that "he had no desire" to be playing games with him through his song, only to then go on scheming against him, and setting up traps for him at the first opportunity he got!

A skilled "knife", caught in a lie, will not admit to any wrongdoing, and will make it sound like you're the villain, they're the victim, and the problem lies with you, not them.

But Radovid's response was being truthful in his answers, internalize Jaskier's blame, look like he'd just been kicked, utter a pitiful "I'm so sorry," and run away!

Unless you are someone that enjoy dominating other people and bringing them down (something I do not believe Jaskier does), there's no sense of triumph, or even validation to be derived from Radovid's response!

There's no sense of relief from "having escaped being fooled by such a manipulative and dangerous individual" to be found!

Radovid just took all the blame on himself, brokenly apologized for having managed to hurt and disappoint Jaskier, and ran away thinking he'd forever lost him.

Had Jaskier's priority not been to ensure Ciri's safety, I think he might have followed his impulse and gone after Radovid to attempt to get to the bottom of what was actually happening.

And, even should he have suspected that Radovid's behavior was yet another manipulation attempt - that Radovid would be patient enough to hold onto his mask a while longer while faking taking responsibility for his mistakes and hurting Jaskier…

There's absolutely no way Radovid could have predicted that Jaskier was going to come investigate the room he'd huddled himself into a dark corner to cry.

So, I like to think that Jaskier did regret his harsh words, the way he'd jumped to conclusions back at the cabin, and how he'd cut short Radovid's attempt to explain, as soon as he'd mentioned that he'd be out from under Dijkstra's thumb.

I like to think that Jaskier was sorry for the way he'd hurt Radovid, too, and that he realised that he'd let his own fears and issues get the best of him.

Now, it's up to them to decide if they'll allow their respective fears and issues to win; or instead let that deep, beautiful and delicate connection that they've been experiencing together come out on top.

So, since "the plan" was for Radovid to have seen the last of Jaskier…

I tend to interpret Jaskier saying "plans change" as a way of telling Radovid "I don't want this to be the last you see of me. If you'll still have me, when this is over, I'd like to come back to you."

With Radovid's immediate response being "Come with me, then."

Because Radovid does very much still want Jaskier.

Except Jaskier has a family he needs to go help first, before he can be free to go back to Radovid and continue to explore and deepen that relationship.

And OMFG, yes! Found families are a theme that I absolutely adore in virtually any form of media (perhaps because I had to leave my own family of origin behind to go find "my own tribe")…

By the way, do you have that season 3 review link nearby? I'm not sure if I had the chance to read it yet, or if it somehow managed to pass me by… But I'd be interested to have a first or second read at it!

Otherwise, I pretty much found myself just nodding along while reading your comments.

I definitely think that, the first time Radovid meets Jaskier, he's deeply intrigued by him and how he personally connects with his songs, but still a bit in a "playing games" mindframe, because that's just the way his world is, and has always been, and how people communicate.

And now, I'm amazed, because you've just made me realise that, when Jaskier came to see Radovid wanting to share intel with him, it could very much have made it look like he only cared about Radovid's position, wealth, and resources; rather than about Radovid himself!

In many ways, Jaskier is 100% aware that the Crown Prince of Redania "fancies him", and I think that, under normal circumstances, he wouldn't be above taking advantage of that attraction to help protect his family.

To be clear, I don't think Jaskier would ever look to manipulate the emotions of anyone that would be having sincere, non-entitled, and reciprocal feelings for him.

But a royal that would be looking to own, use, or control him? I think he'd be feeling perfectly justified using his own charms to get what he wants from them.

He tells Vespula "you can't play a player", therefore very much perceiving himself as "a player", in a sense.

And, given that nobles often have an inflated ego and sense of self-importance, "playing them" is typically not that hard to do.

But Radovid does not.

He is far from immune to Jaskier's charms, but he does not perceive him as a some type of potential "trophy lover" or conquest. He's genuinely curious about him, and wishes to better get to know and understand him.

In such a context, trust should normally go both ways.

Jaskier tells Philippa and Radovid that, if they get rid of Rience, they will have earned Ciri's, Geralt's, and his own trust (and he talks about winning his own trust while pointedly looking at Radovid)…

But what is Jaskier willing to do to earn Radovid's trust in return?

You've just made me realise that, while I often tend to remind myself that there is lot that the audience knows about Radovid that Jaskier himself doesn't…

Well, there is also a lot that the audience knows about Jaskier that Radovid himself simply doesn't, too.

Sure, Jaskier's initial response towards learning that Radovid was the Crown Prince of Redania was rather flattering and amusing, especially since it brought a certain balance to the way Radovid himself was slightly starstruck by Jaskier.

Rockstar meets royalty, basically… and forgets to let his hand go, much to royalty's delight!

But, once that initial moment has passed, does Jaskier still only sees Radovid as a prince - with all the privileges tied to his position that he could use for his own gain - or a person that's worth knowing, too?

We all assume that Jaskier's motives are honorable, because we know him, but Radovid only knows about Jaskier's songs and what little he's been able to pick up from him during two rather short encounters.

In that context, Jaskier showing up all "So, I hear you've got money! Maybe you could use it to get the two detectives to talk, and help Geralt and I find out who Rience is working for?" could actually be… borderline insulting?

Technically, it wouldn't, if Radovid was into such things as power and influence, wanted to find Ciri for himself rather than to please his brother, and Jaskier's suggestion was helping him get closer to something he really wished to get closer to besides the man standing right before him.

Again, Jaskier doesn't know that; so, there's a bit of an ongoing comedy of errors happening between these two this season.

And he doesn't know that Radovid doesn't actually have that much money "ready to be handed out" like that, either.

That Radovid would have to first sell some of his own belongings to pay for that intel.

Jaskier's basically prancing right into the palace while making a bunch of (albeit flirtatious) assumptions about Radovid - most of them kinda wrong / only half right - and it's really no wonder Radovid himself would be unwilling to "collaborate" with him so easily, admit to what he knows, and instead choose to initially continue to play dumb/drunk!

To be fair, most nobles would likely love to be reminded of their wealth, status and power, and go "Oh yeah, I've got money and I'm so important, uwu!"

They would likely welcome any opportunity to put it on display and use it to further seduce Jaskier! Normally, a prince should have favorably responded to Jaskier's innuendos...

Whereas Radovid's pretty much "Yes, yes, very interesting… Now, enough about me, let's talk about you! Here's your lute, may I humbly ask you to sing about what you prefer singing the most? Please?Maybe your white-haired Witcher? I really want to get to know you…"

And look, the fact that Jaskier got his crush to agree to help him because he was moved by his singing, cares about him, and has made it his personal mission in life to learn to better understand what makes him so special, must be so much more satisfying to Jaskier’s than it being because Radovid likes to display his wealth and feel influential and important!

I mean, look at that face...

He's just so pleased with the unexpected way things turned out...

[fights4users]

We would’ve made a great team-

Sark’s borderline obsession with Tron is so interesting. He both admires and fears him, understands him perfectly but misunderstands him on a fundamental level. Both stand on opposite sides of the extreme, similar to each other in strength and ferocity but departed on a base level. The idea of them teaming up brings a interesting au to mind and several things to explore, however It would never happen unless Encom! Rinzler would become a thing. Teaming up with Red Elite would never be done willingly on Tron’s end while for Sark it might begrudgingly work with Tron.

There has to be a way to break him-

Sark has a morbid fascination with finding Tron’s breaking point. He keeps upping the stakes and throwing him into games more often, unwittingly making the weapon that would be his doom.

While he enjoys testing him there’s almost a jealousy to it, Tron hasn’t died yet and he hasn’t given in. Surely he must give in , toss aside his ridiculous beliefs and take what’s offered. Why isn’t he taking the obvious path for survival? How dare Tron be better than him. “I broke, why won’t he?” Holding on so tightly to morality when you tossed aside everything for power… how dare he be a better person.

Sark treats Tron as a plaything while acknowledging how powerful he is as an adversary. (The match we saw him in was 4-1) He battles with wanting to kill him outright and wanting to face him himself. It took most of his resources to capture Tron- going against him would be a actual challenge, as we see in the beginning of the movie he’s getting bored.

While they share combat prowess their thought process could not be more different. Everything that he’s put Tron through has only succeeded in strengthening his beliefs. Where Sark thinks he should break down , he sees confirmation of the User’s power. It’s fascinating (I really recommend the novelization- that’s my thing at this point lol but it adds a lot).

Chosen warriors-

It’s easy to forget that Sark too is a gods chosen warrior. The MCP is a god to him and on the path to literally becoming one in their world with the power it accumulates. He has been bolstered up and admired by his side, though his position is one built more on fear than equal admiration. We see again they’re on the opposite sides of the two extremes.

The loyalty, drive and sense of justice etc that’s naturally apart of Tron’s code had to be forced into Sark. He had to build upon what was already there, it’s implied that the only reason he’s a command program is the MCP just like Dillinger without it he is nothing. There’s that jealousy when he sees someone else naturally have this sort of power. His belief in the MCP is not inherent , he believed in the Users once and deep down he still does- the new belief comes from where he can gain that power. Like Dillinger he is desperate to get to the top by any means, and he did that. He’d rather die than return to nothingness- a state of unimportance- where as Edward is much more fretful. He doesn’t want to loose what he has but jail still scares him.

He is also physically dependent on the MCP - getting a high from the power and I think now he has to get a constant stream to survive. The amount put into him on a regular basis is far to much for a regular program to take in and keep online… if he stops getting it I can only imagine. He’s being held captive by his god and I think he can resent Tron for that- for still having the “pure” relationship with his.

Power, fear and relevance-

I talked about it above with how Sark has done everything in his want for power tossing away all morality for the sake of being important. It makes me wonder what his original function was, with the way he is I can imagine it being a good position but not enough for him. He relishes in the destruction of User believers and finds crushing them on the game grid entertaining, again to parallel Dillinger taking others work, crushing and absorbing smaller companies into Encom with glee.

Tron is a direct threat to that importance, that position and acclaim he had destroyed so many for. He was loyal! He did all that he was asked and here struts in a program naturally strong and exacting— he knows if Tron ever chose to join them he is done for yet his pride and curiosity keep him from outright killing him to save his own skin (how unlike him in any other circumstance).

This fear doesn’t extend to Alan as Ed is well aware… good guys rarely win in the real world. He’s cocky, he knows a guy like that is a straight shooter, he follows the rules and wouldn’t dare stoop to his level to stop him. What he didn’t count on was Kevin Flynn.

[weebsinstash]

Not to be a huge nerd about Miguel again but I was listening the the ATSV soundtrack and I actually had no idea that, besides the main track that has That One Specific Soundbite That's A Meme Now, Miguel actually has another song, one that even has his voicelines in it as part of the track

It just has such a melancholy feel to it? A lot of the lyrics are confident, such as 21 Savage's entire verse about breaking chains, building a house starting from just a brick, having a family to feed, being a leader, having goals everyone isnt built for, but this is also repeatedly contrasted with the chorus, which, when paired in context of the movie, becomes almost remorseful, burdened. In the presence of the chorus, many of these lines, to me at least, seem less like genuine confidence and swagger and more of a self soothing reassurance

I can't be the one here givin' up ((because he feels he has absolutely no choice but to keep working and moving forward at all costs. Like he said, he's given up too much to stop now))

I'm not the one here givin' up ((no other option but to make his enemies submit. Any anomalies or obstacles have to be the one to submit, because he doesn't have that option, there is too much at stake))

Time heals all, but I can't feel what it was ((he has to numb himself not just to his current actions, but the memories and longing of his past. He had to let go of his desire to have his family again and went completely in the opposite direction, becoming laser focused on his mission and less on being human, also just ouch, this line actually kind of feels like it's being sarcastic or ironic or something. Miguel is obviously still going through stages of grief and acting out of trauma but he's convinced himself he's moved on and all of his actions are logical and mechanical when he's actually significantly suffering mentally and emotionally))

If you were me, you wouldn't give up ((he's really one of those "burdened with great purpose" characters. When you think about it, what would be happening if Miguel and Lyla hadn't developed the dimensional watches and started going around helping people and forming this network? How many more people and lifeforms would be gone? Not only is he at least in the film's own canon one of the only people who could have accomplished this sort of thing, but his own emotional investments and past actions and the consequences he suffered also cement his dedication to his mission. 'If you were me, if you knew what I knew and felt what I felt, you would understand'))

Anyways maybe I'm overanalyzing, and art as a medium is absolutely interpretive, but I was surprised I hadn't really heard or seen anything around specifically about this being his actual true theme or the messaging or whatever. I'm just practically observing this man like a specimen in the wild at this point. He loves his family. He loved them so much he literally stole someone else's and lied to them and accidentally got them killed with his selfishness. He's consumed with grief and compensates by being a workaholic desperately trying to fix things. He's got a temper and throws trashcans at teens and swears and gets huffy. He (at least in concept art) has slippers that a kid he rescued drew bunnies on and he actually wears them. He manhandled and chokeslammed a teenage boy and held onto him so hard he tore his suit and left actual claw gouges in the kid's shoulder while literally leaning down to tell him directly in his ear that he was a mistake, because if physical force wasn't going to make this kid stop the next option was to literally break his spirit, like, truly Miguel is a complex individual but ALSO he's my poor little meow meow that I would have sex with

[tremendum]

I love love LOVE the way you writte. Can you give us some tips for writting good smut? It's been years I read fics (I'm 23 now, may as well have started when I was 14) and its rare to find good stuff like yours

thank you bb !! id be happy to give you some of the tips i consider when writing :) ur too kind i appreciate it so much <3 tips below the cut & please feel free to add on!

dialogue is your friend. dialogue keeps readers interested and is a great way to make a story unique!!!! i alwaysssss start smuts by bulleting certain bits of dialogue that i want to see in my fics. it helps with keeping your characters in character if that makes sense.

i honestly tend to use personal experiences for a lot of writing especially with smut, whether it’s bits of dialogue or things that i’ve actually experienced, so that i can recall the way i reacted (and imagine how someone else may react). it just makes the writing much more authentic.

going along with the aforementioned, i always try to think about how i’d really react to dialogue or a certain scenario and use that to apply it to my fic so that it’s not robotic - this goes for plots, too. try to make it at least somewhat realistic!

ok so songs help so much with mood setting. so if you find some songs that you resonate with, listen to them and pull inspiration from the lyrics/music/ feelings you get!! i promise you will not b disappointed and neither will readers

this is just a writing thing that i was always told but SHOW don’t TELL! that means for smut too - just stating something sexual is not nearly as pleasant as describing emotions or sensations or using metaphors/similes to show what is happening. paint a picture. make a movie. how does their body react? breathing/hands/face/voice? heart?

following off my last point. scene building: honestly, this is probably more of a fault of mine bc my smuts are never less than 3k but i genuinely believe that the best way to write good smut is to build the world (what do they see, what do they feel, smell, what time of day/weather, what’s their mood, etc.) and make sure there’s enough room for imagination for your readers while creating the setting.

i also try my very hardest (and still need to work on it) to avoid specific physical descriptions of the reader if it’s a self insert. this is obviously for inclusivity - small things like wording, phrasing, all small things a writer may not think about (like describing a reader as turning red - not all people turn red over their skin color when they blush!!!) this also imo is good for clothing bc not only is everyone’s style different but also everyone’s body is built different and it’s easier to include everyone if you avoid specific descriptions :) it’s hard to do because i often picture someone similar to me (as i’ve mentioned above) but not everybody looks like me and it’s very important to make sure everyone has equal access to all your beautiful writing!!

also PLS PLS i encourage readers and writers and lurkers to expand on any of these ideas and please leave me some tips!! i’m always looking to improve my writing :)

[iwadori]

Haikyu Boys neglecting you for another girl PT 1 (Kenma)

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Word count: 1.3K

Genre: angst,fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You go over to your boyfriend ,Kenma’s, house every weekened to play on your shade survival minecraft world 

But one week you were too cramped to come over one week so you missed out on a gaming session 

At school the following week you heard Kuroo and the guys teasing Kenma over a new found gaming friend 

But you payed no attention

Now you’re done with your exams and ready to continue on w/ Kenma on fighting the enderdragon and building up your world

You get to Kenmas house an hour after finishing your school club, upon entering you hear him button smashing upstairs (per usual) but something not so usual was him giggling with laughter...

Kenma.Your stoic boyfriend Kenma. giggling..

Because of your confusion you slowly go up the stairs as his laughter ensues making you more perplexed ‘kenma barely talks to people that aren’t Kuroo and me, especially someone who makes him laugh this much’ you think to yourself.

“Ella, i’ve found the stronghold! Just follow me” Kenma exclaimed as you entered his bedroom “Yes Ella you have to press X to jump” he laughed again

‘Ella, who’s ella’ you think. You hear a response on the other end but you can make it out properly. Kenma and ‘Ella’ continue on speaking making plans on what they’re about to do next.. with Kenma not noticing you came into his room yet. You look at the TV and notice that Kenma is playing with someone else on YOUR world that you started which made you slightly agitated. 

You purposefully drop your bag a tad too aggressively, but that seems to work as you catch Kenmas attention as he turns to you for a split second as he mumbles quitely “Oh hey babe” before swiftly getting engrossed again into the game.

Annoyed, you sit on next to him on the bed waiting.. JUST WAITING for some proper acknowledgement to which you received none. You just sat there mindlessly scrolling through your phone as he continuously talked with Ella AND coached her through killing the ender dragon (a plan that you and Kenma said to do together since the beginning of your minecraft survival world idea)

After almost an hour of just sitting there idly, you decide to get up pick up your bag and leave. Hoping just hoping that your ‘oh-so great and caring’ boyfriend would take off his headset and stop you from leaving. But this isn’t a movie of course... so no Kenma did not run straight after you pull you into his arms and comfort you. He stayed in his room laughing away with Ella putting you at the back of his mind.

You go straight home and cry still wishing for a follow-up text on the incident that happened at Kenmas but no response there.

Luckily for you, it was half term break meaning there was no school for a couple weeks so you didn’t have to face the awkward confrontation or lack thereof with Kenma at school. But it was unlucky for you since usually every half term and weekend you’d spend at Kenmas but obviously now you can’t.

You do wonder if he’s thought about texting or calling you to reconcile or even just thought about you at all. You desperately wanted to reach out to him, but with your relationship you do feel that you’re the one that always has to start the conversation after you’ve had a ‘falling out.’ So all you do is wait ( assuming that you’ve broke up or something for now.)

The two weeks of break has ended and now you’re back at school waiting to face the music. The whole day, you felt anxious waiting to bump into him in the corridor or see him at lunch but you never did.

Later that day you get a message..

Kuroo: Hey y/n! How have you been ??

Y/N: Fine.. i guess

Kuroo: How are things with Kenma

Y/N: Tbh I don’t really know, we haven’t spoken since the weekend...two weeks ago I don’t think we’re together anymore..

Kuroo: Y/N don’t say that you and Kenma are definitley how do you spell deathfinetly? still together just meet him today at the arcade at 8pm and ALL WILL BE REVEALED 

Y/N: okay....

Kuroo: DW Y/N! It’ll all be fine

Nervous, you get changed (making sure to look extra cute because this may be the last time you’ll have the title of ‘Kenma’s Girlfriend’ :(( ) You arrive at the arcade and look around for a second before spotting Kenma at the race car game (where you had your first date) and it looks to you he is hiding something behind his back..

When you reached him he looked very shy (even more so then usual) and you were about to speak before he shouted

“Y/N!” he said cringing at the volume of his own voice “ I need to tell you something, more like show you..”

You stood before him with your arms crossed silently tapping your foot waiting on him to continue. Surprisingly, he brings in front of you a little girl who looked about 8 or 9 with a very very cute face.

“n-n-nice to meet you” she bowed in front of you a blush covering her face

“Y/N this is Ella” Kenma said “My new step-sister”

You were shocked to say the least Kenma having a new sister that was great but didn’t answer ALL your questions. Judging your facial expressions Kenma led you and him to sit down letting Ella go on play (as you obviously watch her close-by) 

“Okay, I know you’re probably confused but Ella is ma’s new boyfriends daughter and that time you came over my house was my first time ‘meeting’ her so instead of doing it physically I thought the best thing to do was to play minecraft with her and as I was so focused on that I kinda sorta forgot about our usual dates and over half term I went over to hyogo were Ella and her dad live for the break to meet them officially I’m sorry very very very sorry Y/N for not contacting you i just assumed you were mad at me ... which you still probably are now so i understand if you want to break up and i-” Kenma stops hearing you slightly chuckle looking exasperated after all that rambling. 

Thats the most you’ve ever heard Kenma speak in one go ever and you thought it was endearing that he has a new sister. Of course you were mad that your boyfriend that he neglected you for weeks but you were definitley over that and wanted to just continue on with your life with him.

Kenma stared at you expecting some form of response and all you did was stand up, go to him and pat his head. 

“You’re so cute kenma” you said “Of course I was mad, but i get it now”

“So are we still boyfr-”

“Miss Y/N” asked Ella looking up at you awww how cute “Are you and nii-chan boyfrined and girlfriend”

Kenma and Ella both stared at you expectedly waiting on your response (Kenma more than Ella)

“Of course he’s my boyfriend sweetie!” You said ruffling her head and you hear Kenma sigh in relief “Let’s go play some games now come one Kenma”

You hold Kenma’s hand as Ella runs ahead of you

“Also Kenma..” you let go of his hand “You let her play on our world..seriously”

Kenma awkwardly rubs the back of his neck and chuckles

“I’ll make it up to Y/N dont worry “ he said

And he did do that indeed, as it seems over the break he built a mansion for you and him and reset the end so you complete the ender dragon with him. But you did also include Ella in on your world now and you and her got closer to the point where she will call you nee-chan.

Authors Note: how do you feel about the ending ?

I hope this is well, I’m not that used with Kenmas character so i hope i wrote it good and you like it! Please give me comments and feedback and my request are open so send in your request please!! Also this was meant to be a part two to my ‘taking a prank too far’ but i kinda wrote this in a different direction 

[frogs-are-pretty]

Demon Brother headcanons for trying to get their attention

You're trying to ask them on a date but they're ignoring you, then you figure out the best way to get their attention

Includes demon brothers, lord diavolo, barbatos, simeon, and solomon

No Luke cause that's your brother, tf??

Lucifer

He was outside of RAD talking to Lord Diavolo about something

You honestly didn't know what they were talking about but hoped it would end soon

Barbatos knew you were there but also knew where this was going

Lord Diavolo knew you were there too but thought it best not to say something since it was Lucifer you wanted

You were starting to get aggravated

Then you had an idea

You went and held his gloved hand

He was taken aback by the sudden weight on his hand

He turned and saw you and your hands intertwined with his

He would've been happier for the affection if it wasn't in the middle of his conversation with Lord Diavolo

He asked what were you doing with an intrigued yet confused tone

"Well I was trying to get your attention but you wouldn't pay attention to me. Anyway, there's a new place that opened up that sells different varieties of princess' poison apples. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go with me."

"Why you didn't ask Beel to go? He likes princess' poison apples."

Yes Lucifer liked them more than Beel does, but he didn't see why you had to interrupt the conversation to ask him

You ad to repeat the part where you wanted to go with him, only him

That's when he asked if you were asking him on a date

Once he figured that out he agreed and told you that your going as soon as be finishes talking to Lord Diavolo

Diavolo let him go since he knew how long you've been waiting to ask him

You two walked and he did not let go of your hand at all

Mammon

He was trying to sell something to a demon

Or was he trying to get them involved in a new scheme?

You didn't know and couldn't care less

He kept talking while you tried to get his attention and you were getting fed up

Then you realized what you could do

There's two ways to do this

Route A- hug him from the front with your arms around his shoulders

He'll be flustered and all you have to do is let go but keep your arms draped over his shoulders and he's a cherry red tomato

Route B- hug his side and snuggle ino him

He'll still be flustered but just look up and he'll almost lose the ability to speak cause of how cute you look at his side

He'll ask what your doing in either case cause your getting in the way of money

"You weren't paying attention to me and I wanted to ask if you will to go to the human world with me. There's this new place I wanna go to and Lucifer said I could bring someone if I wanted and I kinda wanted to bring you."

"Of course you'd want to take the great Mammon!"

He didn't get that it was a date

You had to be more specific on why you wanted to go with him until he realized it was a date

It made him happy that his human wanted to go on a date with him

The demon was quickly forgotten about when he realized this

You two went to the house of lamentation with his arm around your waist

Leviathan

He's talking to someone about some game

Possibly an online mutual or someone with an interest in it

Either way you we're being ignored

You knew his rants can go on for hours

You were seriously having thoughts of kicking him, then a better idea came

While his head was still enough, you kissed his cheek

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked over at you

He flushed red and asked why you did that

Part of his redness was because this happened in an anime he saw once

But it was mostly because you kissed a yucky otaku

"Lucifer switched cooking shifts with me and I wanted to know if you wanted to make some of that food we saw in the anime we watched the other day. We're gonna need to shop for ingredients too."

Of course he agreed to make some anime food with you, but he was taken aback that you wanted to make it with him

He didn't know it was a date and you could tell by how calm he was compared to when you kissed him

You put emphasis on the fact you wanted to make it with him

That's when he realized it was supposed to be a cooking date

Leviathan.exe has stopped working

He lost the ability to speak but you knew he wanted to

You grabbed his hand while looking on your D.D.D for the ingredients

Once he calmed he built up the nerve to put his arm around your shoulder

He was over the moon when you leaned into him

Satan

He was talking to someone about some book

All you needed was 3 minutes of his attention and he couldn't spare that

He was getting into the conversation and so was the other demon

You were getting annoyed and wanted to punch one of them

But a thought overpowered that one

Right when he was still enough you grabbed his hand

He immediately stopped and looked over at you

He'll be greatful for the gesture and considered rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb but didn't

"What was that for?"

"I wanted to ask if you will go to this new bookstore that opened up. There's also a cat cafe near it too."

You lost him at bookstore

He was dragging you by the hand to go there

You had to physically stop him so you could tell him it was a date

That made him even happier to go

You both walked there hand in hand

Asmodeus

He was telling Solomon about something

You didn't know cause you wanted to punch both of them

The conversation felt like it qould never end

You were considering actually punching them but then something better came to mind

You hugged Asmo from the front with your arms around his shoulders

He stops before giggling a bit and hugging you back

"Awww, what is this for?"

"I wanted to ask you if you would go to this store with me that just opened up."

He agreed and asked Solomon to come too

That's when you had to say that you wanted to go with just and only him

The dots connected immediately

He kissed your nose agreed

He held you with trying to speed up the conversation with Solomon so you two could go

You didn't care now cause you got what you had to say out

You were also happy that you were so close to Asmo right now and he was stroking your back

When their conversation finished, he walked with you there with his arm around your waist

Beel

He was talking his fangol coach

You didn't know what about exactly and you couldn't care less

All you wanted was to talk to Beel and apparently that was asking for too much

You were about to give up when you had an idea

You grabbed his arm, pulled him down and placed a kiss on his temple

He looked over at you curiously

"Mc, are you ok? What was the kiss for?"

Don't get him wrong, he loved the kiss. He just wonders if there was a reason

"There's a new restaurant that opened up and I wanted to go with you. And maybe also go to a movie."

His mouth was already salivating at the thought

He agreed but really wanted to finish talking to his coach first

His coach let him go cause Beel's been a better player since you arrived

Beel almost dragged you, but stopped when you called his name

You had to elaborate more on why you wanted to go with him

When he realized it was a date he was even more existing to go

You walked there holding onto his arm and he loved how small you looked next to him

Belphegor

He was talking to Beel and he didn't notice you cause he was sleepy

He was awake enough to hold a conversation with his brother but not enough to notice the obvious next to him

You were mad with him and wanted to stab him awake

You decided against it

Instead you held his hand

It was warm and soft so you could've fallen asleep to just at the touch

The sudden heaviness made him finally look at you

You figured he was awake enough tobhear what you needed to say

"Do you want to go to this stuffed animal store later today with me? I want to get you something from there, my treat."

The fact you added my treat made him curious

"Why did you say my treat? Usually people only say that if..... Mc, are you asking me on a date?"

Your silence answered everything for him

He pulled you close to him and buried his head in the crook of your neck

"Ok, but let me nap right here real quick."

You and Beel laughed a bit

You allowed him to use you as a pillow to sleep and talked to Beel

When he woke up you two went to the stuffed animal store

He had his arm around your shoulder cause you were so comfy earlier, why would he let go?

Lord Diavolo

He was talking to Barbatos about some royal thing or something

You knew you couldn't always have his attention but just this once for 2 minutes you wanted it

You were growing impatient

So you decided to hold onto his arm

He felt the weight and looked over at you

The way you were holding his arm had him worry a bit

"Mc, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to a restaurant with me. Maybe not today, but someday soon."

He immediately asked if it was a date

When you confirmed he was so happy

He put a hand over one of yours

He tried to quickly finish his talk with Barbatos

When he did he asked him to make the reservations at the best restaurant he knew

He was excited to go on one with you

When you did go with him, he had you hold onto his arm again

He loved how your fragile human body looked against his

How you weren't scared in the slightest either, even in a world of demons

It was everything to him

Barbatos

He was talking to Diavolo about butler things or whatever

He knew you were there but couldn't talk

He also had a vague idea on what you were going to do

Seeing multiple different timelines mad eit hard to know exactly what was going to happen

The conversation with Diavolo was making you irritated

You decided the best way to get the butler's attention

You put a hand on one cheek and tried to pull him towards you for a kiss on the cheek

Then he turned his head so you ended up actually kissing him

He looked at Diavolo

"If you'll excuse me, my Lord." He turned to you "Is there something you need? Or did you already get what you need?"

"I wanted to ask if you'd go to the movies with me one day. There's a movie playing but it was released a while ago so the theater should be empty."

"Sounds like a date."

Diavolo told him to go and decided himself that what they were talking about could wait

Barbatos followed the orders and took you to the theater

He walked you there with his hand on your back

He did put his hand on your waist cause he knew you'd prefer that instead, and he'd do anything to make you happy

Simeon

He was talking to Luke about the Celestial Realm

Or was he saying how angels aren't so drastically different from demons?

It didn't matter because the angel was ignoring you

All you knew is that Luke was too busy being in his "the devildom is evil and so are the brothers" mood to tell Simeon you were there

You wanted pull his hair out

But you thought of something better, better for both of you

When he was sighing from Luke's mood, you hugged his side

He put a hand on your back when he saw it was you

Luke was surprised himself to see you there

"Mc! What are you doing here? Did those demons scare you out?" Luke asked, still in his mood

"What are you doing here? Did you need something? Are you ok?" Simeon asked, now stroking your back

Damn, this angel knows how to make you feel loved

"I'm ok Simeon. I just wanted to know if you'd go to a restaurant with me. But not like, as friends."

He got the message with the last part and agreed

He was greatful, knowing that you liked him back

And enough that you asked him on a date before he asked you

Luke was excited that you two were going on a date

You spent the next thirty minutes talking to Luke and Simeon, with Simeon's hand still on your back

Solomon

He was talking Asmo

Asmo was being Asmo so Solomom couldn't really pay attention to you

You wanted to hit Asmo at the moment

Then you wanted to do something else, so you did

You reached down and held his hand

He looked at you and held back a slight laugh

"Is there something you need?"

"I wanted if you'd go to the human world with me to go to a new store. Ya know, just us."

Immediately realized it was a date and said a flirty remark back

He was happy that you had feelings for him, the only other human in this world of demons

Asmo was upset that you didn't ask him for a date

You simply reached over a gave him a head pat and he liked the touch

You both went to Lucifer and he changed you using his magic into your human world clothes (the magic just immediately changes clothes, no nudity)

He walked with you hand in hand, planning on taking you to dinner there too

[docholligay]

The Green Knight: A Ramble Through the Field of Honor

So I talked in an earlier post very glancingly about the line “Why greatness? Is goodness not enough?” and how it fits into the idea that Gawain has no idea what true greatness looks like, and I think, dovetailing into that, we kind of have to talk about how Gawain is...not a great guy. 

And I’m not even talking about the way we begin the movie with him in a brothel, though I am going to use that to spring off here and talk about his conduct toward Essel. Knightly stories are full of these ideas of chivalry particularly around women, and I think Lowery is using Essel to make the point that Gawain is not doing that, not even remotely. Essel is a working girl, sure, but she’s also, as its shown throughout the movie, devoted to him, and cares for him far beyond his ability to provide for her. She even tells him that she has his gold, when she asks to be his lady, but she wants very simple things--to sit by his side at the fire, and have his ear, and be his lady. In full fairness to Gawain, I suppose, he never pretends even for a moment that he has any intention of doing that. Gawain is not interested in whatever he might owe her, because in seeking his greatness he utterly passes by this goodness. 

We see this again in “A Kindness” where he repeatedly tells the scavenger that he is “Just passing through” when asked if he is a knight, not dodging the question, exactly, but allowing the scavenger to think this untrue thing. The scavenger talks about how he has brothers out there, the wide field of bodies like the fallen trees, showing us the lumber that Camelot is built upon, but Gawain does not have a moment for sympathy or pause. He fails to see this kid as a human being, and the narrative allows us to glance over it too, fixated in the same way Gawain is on the destination and not the journey. 

Even when he is given instructions about how to get to the Green Chapel, when it’s been shown he has only the roughest sketched ideas of the way--and we can argue that the instructions may be false, but I’m not sure I think it matters--all he offers this scavenger, this BOY, is his thanks, despite being told he’s lost his family, was almost lost himself. He has to be shamed into offering a single coin, when Excalibur itself was offered to him when he needed the help. 

This goes back to the idea of a test, and of Gawain’s repeated failures to have honor, to be great. He can’t see that mercy and generosity are a part of what it means to be a knight, to bear that mantle of goodness that I would argue underlies the knightly ideal. 

This is why, when he’s captured and his things taken from him, he asks for the GReen Chapel and is told, “You’re in it.” This is a test as surely as kneeling before the Knight himself, and he’s failed, not only the test of generosity, but of courage, as he pleads with them that he’s not a knight, and he never said he was, and it’s true, that he isn’t, and so he’s stripped of all the trappings that make him a knight--his horse, his arms, his shield--because if he will not behave a knight, if he will not meet the world with the courage and honor he’s meant to have, then he may as well have none of it at all. 

Gawain is pretty much a world-class fuckboy until the Tale of St. Winifred, until he truly connects with the natural impulse within him in the form of the fox (More on this in a much longer later post) 

The tale of St. Winifred is his chance to begin his redemption, really the first time that he’s been willing to take any real instruction on the nature of becoming a knight--he sure as shit could not be bothered to listen to Arthur--and so this is where he earns back the axe. He earns back the right to even have this quest in the first place. 

I don’t know how much the audience knows about the tale of St. Winifred, but the details are changed from the usual telling of the story in order to support the themes of the film.  St. Winifred is also, in one sense, a tale of beheading and of virtue. That in upholding her ‘purity,’ she lost her life and her head. This is why I think it’s not actually a foregone conclusion that Gawain is spared at the end--I think Lowery makes the point that sometimes our values must be paid for in blood. 

The flexible nature of honor is addressed directly in Winifred’s story. From the beginning, when she tells him not to touch her, that “a knight should know better,” there’s a sort of restarting the clock on his ability to be that knight. He just failed the last test, but as people, we are not who we are in one moment, whether that is terribly virtuous, or terribly cowardly, but the accumulation of who we are in all the moments. Each story is the chance to start again, and that’s why you’ll see so much menton of his being a knight at the start of each ‘section.’ It’s his chance to begin this anew. 

In that way of, just tell the audience what’s going on, when Winifred is telling her story, of a man who came and desired to lay with her, and says, ‘Perhaps he was thee,’ that’s not just speaking to the sense of circles and repetition of nature in the movie--though not unrelated--but the idea that Gawain could be that man, could still, in a sense, choose to be that man. That he can always fail this test, too. 

“If I go and get it, what will be my reward?”

It takes you aback, just for a moment, when he asks her that, until we realize that we were all asking ourselves that too. Reading into the traditions behind knights and saints, I think we’re used to the idea that a boon will be received for dong the right thing, and Lowery asks us to evaluate all that in Winifred’s reply:

 “Why would you ask me that? Why would you ever ask me that?” 

Harkening back to when he didn’t give the kid more than just a single coin, and telling him, “my thanks”--does he really have the right to ask for such a thing when he couldn’t manage to reward kindness himself-- but also the idea that honorable tasks should be taken up for their own sake, and not in order to have a reward. Can you truly be said to be acting with chivalry and honor if you’re doing it for a reward, or even notoriety? 

Going back to my larger theory that Lowery is trying to bring forth the idea in all of this that there is no such thing as being a “knightly” sort of person at rest, while still holding that the decisions of a moment can cement the sort of person we continue to be, it makes sense that he would ask if we can say Gawain passes this test, if Winifred regards him. 

“Now I can see thee,” she says, because this is a baptism of sorts, and being a saint, she can only see a soul in clarity. This is the direct opposite to the moment that Arthur tells him he has mud on his face, this is in direct opposite to his behavior with Essel, this is him doing the right and kind thing for a woman, without a thought to reward, and in that, he is cleaned, and Winifred can see what’s underneath, the sort of man he can be under what he’s accumulated. 

ANd this is why he gets back the axe. It gives him leave to continue his quest, even though just a bit earlier, when asked where he was going, he simply said, “home.” But the show of the axe let him know that honor was not yet lost to him, that there was still a chance to be the sort of person he might have been. 

WHich, by the way, does not makes things clear to him still. Life is not that simple, and I am very very resolute on my idea that a lot of what this movie is about is about the journey of our own lives to meet death and live with honor inasmuch as we can overcome our own cowardice and shitty behavior to do so, and even at the end of it all, about to meet the Green Knight, asked why he’s doing it, expressing that honor is why a knight does what he does, and then, pressed, says:

“Honor is a part of the life I want.” 

This is Lowery pretty firmly taking aim at the old Arthurian texts, wherein honor very often good be a sole raison d’etre, saying that for most of us--and I would argue the whole reason Gawain is a fuck up is that he’s meant to represent most of us--that isn’t enough. There needs to be something more. 

I also don’t think, for all I’ve talked about tests, that Gawain’s cowardice with the Green Knight had to be the end of the story. I think Essel’s pregnancy, and his cruelty, was a test. I think lying about what happened in the Green Chapel and accepting a knighthood was a test. I think there are multiple tests in that little interlude, but you see, the problem is, the more you do something, the more you’ll do it. As he makes these choices, this more and more becomes the man he is, as these choices stack up like stones, it gets harder and harder to knock down that wall. This is why his green sash--his cowardice--has become a physical part of him by the end of that interlude, bleeding as he draws it out. 

Honor isn’t set, and it isn’t enough. Life is a confusing journey, rife with difficulty to do the right thing with consistency not because of outside influence so much as ourselves. Gawain’s great antagonist in al of this is not the Green Knight, but himself. Such as it is for all of us, as we TRY to be good people, and risk sometimes redefining honor, or greatness, what it means to be “a knight” in order to convince ourselves that it might be true. 

“Is this all there is?” Gawain asks, before the axe is laid down, and I want to give Dev Patel a lot of credit here, though I’ve mostly been focusing on imagery and story. I’m not sure this would work as well if he hadn’t made it feel quite as human as it does, when he says it. It’s the question I think all of us ask, as we contemplate our own deaths, our own struggles to even up with what was right. Is there no way of knowing what comes next? 

Life is a series of tests. A measure of honor. And what else ought there be?

On Doc and The Green Knight

[tinyjeanmarco]

I love your hcs so much, they’re always so well thought out and just warm. When you have the time could I please get modern Bertholdt relationship hcs? Ilysm

modern bertholdt relationship hc’s!

yes, yes, yes! i luv bert, he is so cute 🥺 i also really like his character. i say that about all of the characters LOL but still. i think yams did a great job creating all of these characters and how he made them change and grow. i’m glad there isn’t like a single character that is static in any way. in what i write though, he’s a pretty different character because it’s modern au. we chillin’ tho. also, thank you! i’m glad you enjoy my content, love! ٩(*•͈ ꇴ •͈*)و ̑̑❀

modern!bertholdt x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol.

shy boy.

the first time you guys met would be at a college party that reiner dragged him to. he honestly didn’t want to go, but reiner was able to talk him into it, saying he would have fun.

tried to stick to reiner the whole time, but managed to lose him at some point. bert honestly just decided to sit alone, observing everyone.

he wasn’t sure if it would be polite to leave or not! he didn’t even like drinking, which was what everyone was doing.

so far, reiner lied, he wasn’t having fun. 

that was until you approached him. you didn’t want to see someone not enjoying themselves at an event that was supposed to be fun.

like bertholdt, you didn’t see the point in drinking though, and it seemed like you two were the only sober ones in the sea of college students.

you and bert would get along really well either because you were shy and quiet just like him, or you were loud and outgoing, trying to lift his mood somehow.

it turns out to be very effective, believe it or not. he’s glad to have someone keep him company since reiner ditched him.

you have a real long discussion about the meaning of life and other random philosophical things.

lowkey see him a a philosophy major. really suits his quiet, observant nature.

he gets a text from reiner later saying that he left the party with someone and that he didn’t have to wait up to leave.

tiny tall boy sighs, telling you his friend left, and that he might leave soon cuz that was the only reason he came.

you of course ask for his number so that you guys can keep in contact and hang out sometimes. let’s be real, there was a ~connection~ between you guys and you wanted to see where it went.

so, he agrees, and now you guys are friends!

he’s still really shy though, so you have to make the first move or else nothing will happen between you two unless someone else were to intervene.

you asked him out. date place? a museum! he really enjoys them and wants to interpret the art with you. 

while you two are out, he grabs your hand in his. it’s cute, really. he’s so nervous about it, too, blushing like a madman.

your new favorite thing is finding ways to fluster him. kiss his cheek in public? blushing and fidgety. hold his hand? blushing again. 

reiner loves teasing him about how nervous he gets around you, to which he always replies with a rushed, “shut up!”

over time though, he grows more comfortable around you and less nervous. he still gets flustered so easily though, don’t worry. your fun with that isn’t over.

he’s like a little puppy, he loves when you pet his hair and run your fingers through it affectionately, even if he is taller than you.

i see his love language as physical touch, so he will constantly hug you and make contact with you in any way he can. definitely feels most comfortable holding your hand when you guys are in public.

he likes it when you sit on his lap, arms wrapped around your middle, just kinda sitting there, relishing in the warmth you share together.

he is a funny man, he loves cracking jokes and you laugh at all of them because somehow, even if they’re not funny, they have you snorting.

he will be the big spoon, but it seems more like it’s split halfway. he definitely enjoys being the little spoon even though he’s a tall boy. it makes him feel less vulnerable if he’s wrapped up in your arms.

kithes. he has the softest lips, always applying lip balm, so kissing him is so pleasant. plus he’s such a gentle giant? always asks if he can kiss you before he does.

cradles your neck so softly with one hand as the other is on your waist or hip when he kisses you.

shy, but will square up if anyone says something to hurt you, or if anyone upsets you. man goes to the gym with reiner often so he is swole and ready to fight.

oH wait, okay, speaking of swole bert, he has like nice biceps and one of your favorite things is to cling to his arm when you’re together, pressed into his side, hands wrapped around his upper arm.

you love, love, love to feel his muscles. it’s kinda hot to you that he looks like so well put together, and is secretly BUILT.

also, since he is so stronk, you love getting piggy backs from him or have him carry you!

since we’re all over the place with these headcanons, i just feel it in my left ass cheek that he loves giving you forehead kisses.

you’re studying together and you fall asleep? he will give you a soft kiss to your forehead.

presses a kiss to the top of your head when you fall asleep on him as you’re watching a movie.

you’re the most obnoxious couple to watch movies with. you guys are always talking about what’s going on, discussing what it means and if you ever have a movie night with friends, expect them to tell you guys to shut the fuck up.

i love the idea of when you guys move in together, he tries so hard to cook for you, but he’s a disaster in the kitchen so you have to make something for you guys after he failed whatever he was making.

sometimes will fuck up his dish and be like, “... so, what do you want on your pizza?” as he pulls out his phone LOL.

sometimes he manages to successfully make something though. you cherish those times because it’s really not half bad.

still really rare though.

sorry, but bert chews with his mouth open so you’re gonna have to yell at him a lot before he begins to close his mouth while eating.

sees you’re into skin care so he starts asking you to help him make a skin care routine. he loves to have face masks on while you guys settle down for the night, watching stupid youtube videos together.

secretly loves disney movies. he would be watching frozen 2 when he thought you wouldn’t be home for another few hours. he scrambles to turn it off but as he’s fiddling with the remote, he just turns up the volume and you’re just like, “wait! restart it! i haven’t seen it yet!”

you go get changed into his clothes comfy clothes and snuggle in beside him, telling him to press play.

all the while he’s like what the fuck?

c’mon bert. don’t you know disney movies are for everyone? like you would judge him for that, smh.

he texts you pictures of cute animals all the time either saying “you,” or “reminded me of you.”

he’s so PRECIOUS.

speaking of pictures, you have a whole ass vault of pictures you have of him sleeping. it’s no secret that he sleeps in the weirdest positions. you get concerned sometimes, thinking that he’s going to kill himself in his sleep, but he’s fine thus far.

you have a funny picture of him as your phone screensaver, so when it lights up around your friends he gets shy and flustered as everyone laughs.

grumbles under his breath but you just give him kisses which flusters him even more.

overall, tall, shy boy is good boyfie. silly and very sweet. be sure to give him tons of back hugs and he will be wrapped around your finger!

[phoenixstartedthefire]

Coraline analysis

Okay so I may be obsessed with Coraline and fallen down a rabbit hole of the lore behind it and I find it super interesting and very cool. I’ve seen and heard a lot of theories about it and I wanted to talk about it. Most of these theories aren’t my original ideas. This will mostly be a mix of other theories I’ve seen that I like the most/make the most sense. Because some of them are just completely outlandish and make no sense. This will probably be a multiple part thing and I’ll probably add onto it as I delve deeper into the universe and have more thoughts. Don’t take these as facts as they are only theories. I just think it’s cool to delve deeper into the meaning behind these things. I would also be happy to hear some of your thoughts as well! Also trigger warning because I will be discussing death in parts of this so don’t feel pressured to read this if that makes you uncomfortable. That being said, get ready for some extreme over analyzing and a very unnecessary essay that I started at 4am. But if you follow me, you should know that I do that quite a lot. Essays are fun when you actually care about the subject.

Okay the first thing I wanna discuss is the idea of three universes of sorts. In which Coraline never returns to the real world. We know of the existence of the real world and the other world but what about the existence of a third world that you enter once you go return through the door? I’ve seen the third world called a limbo so that’s what I’m going to calling it as to be as clear as possible. In this limbo, the other mother still controls but doesn’t directly intervene as she does in the other world. We know that the doll that Coraline gets in the beginning is a spy for the other mother so she can see what’s wrong with Coraline’s life and manipulate the other world to solve those problems. But Coraline didn’t have the doll with her when she went clothes shopping with her real mother so how would the other mother know that she wanted interesting clothes? Also consider that Coraline never interacts with her neighbors until after she enters the other world for the first time. I believe that once she enters the other world and travels back through the door, she enters a limbo of sorts where the other mother can see her at all times. She only needed the doll in the beginning. And at the end, we see Coraline’s ideal world. Where her parents are loving and spend time doing things with her and her neighbors are eccentric but overall lovable. They pretty much do a complete 180 from the beginning of the movie. What caused the change of heart from her parents? They aren’t as perfect as they seemed in the other world. They’re just flawed enough to seem believable while still making her want to stay in the limbo. I hope that makes sense.

Now for the reason the other mother wants children in the first place. The film makes you believe that she eats the children after she sews buttons in their eyes but that’s not true. She doesn’t eat them in the physical sense but feeds on their souls. The reason she tries to lure them in by being their ‘mother’ is because she feeds on the love they feel. And that’s why the other mother is fine with Coraline staying in the limbo. Her ‘real’ mother doesn’t exist there but Coraline still believes she does and loves her like a child would love a mother. And the reason she doesn’t lure adults in is because they a) have more common sense and b) don’t rely as much on feelings like that. They’ve outgrown them for the most part. I’m not saying that adults can’t love their parents. But they don’t feel the same love for them that they did as a child. She of course would rather Coraline stay in the other world with her because it’s easier to feed on her that way but she is still content with her staying in the limbo place and puts up a big fight to make Coraline believe she’s going back to the real world and she can’t feed off her anymore.

I also want to discuss the button eyes. I think the main reason for them is so Coraline thinks she can tell the other world from the real world. There’s a point in the movie where the other mother poses as Coraline’s real mother with normal eyes so we know she’s capable of producing people with normal eyes. It’s all a trick. Now I don’t think that other than the trick the buttons are useless. We’ve established that the doll Coraline is given is a spy and uses the button eyes as a look into the real world. But once they’re in the other world, the buttons are just used as a trick so Coraline thinks she can distinguish the real world from the other world. 

Now for my second theory that’s pretty much confirmed if you actually pay attention to the movie but still a theory technically. That the well is another portal to the other world. Wybie says in the beginning that the well is so deep that if you fall down it that you’ll see a sky full of stars. It’s always night in the other world. Also the well is surrounded by mushrooms in a circle. There’s a belief from some people outside of the Coraline world that a formation of mushrooms in a circle is supposed to be an entrance into a magical world. It also has a negative connotation that it’s an evil magical world and it’s referred to as a fairy circle. So the other mother doesn’t actually die/get defeated in the end. Coraline essentially gives the key back to her. This theory is probably the most plausible one supported by the movie and general common sense that I’ll talk about here.

My next theory is about the other mother. I have a lot of those. The idea that she has complete control over everyone in the other world. Even the ghost children. Now you’re probably thinking, “but the other father, Wybie and the ghost children warn her about the other mother and help Coraline”. That’s kind of the point. The other mother is very smart and cunning. If she didn’t want that idea put into Coraline’s head that she was evil, why would she deliberately put her in the mirror with the ghost children? Why would she not stop Wybie from letting Coraline escape? And if you accept those, it’s extremely likely that the father was also under her complete control. She purposefully made it seem like they had free will so Coraline would trust them. Coraline would think that if the other mother controlled them, it wouldn’t make sense for them to rebel against her. The other father gave Coraline one of the eyes but we all know that even if she fullfilled the rules of the game, the other mother wouldn’t let her go.

I also think that the cat is under her control for the most part as well. I don’t think she fabricated him as she did with all of the other people but I think he serves as a sort of double agent, more so than the other father and other wybie. As with the mice but I won’t get into that now. The cat is there to trick Coraline into thinking the other mother has limitations to her powers. He takes her across the world and shows her that the pink palace is all she can make. But if you accept the limbo theory, you know that she can also fabricate the town/shop Coraline and her mother go into and the well which she seemed incapable of making in the other world. It makes the other mother seem less powerful and more easily beatable even though she had a grasp on Coraline as soon as she entered the other world. He is also the one to show Coraline the mirror with her parents in it and the doll of her parents to lure her back in the other world. He says that the other mother tries to keep him out of the other world but we never see this happen. There are a lot of theories about who the cat is. A lot of people think she might have been a human at some point. Which I’ll discuss in my next point.

Now I want to discuss the bowls of taffy that Miss Spink and Forcible show Coraline when they give her the seeing eye thing(I don’t know a better term for it). There are three bowls and all have different dates. 1921, 1936, and 1960. These are the dates the ghost children were taken. The pioneer girl in 1921, the boy in 1936, and Wybie’s grandma’s sister in 1960. Now a lot of people believe that there must have been another child between 1936 and 1960. That’s where the cat comes in. A lot of people believe that the cat was the fourth child but the other mother couldn’t successfully feed on him for some reason. So she turned him into some sort of spy. Some people speculate that it was Wybie’s great grandfather since we know his grandmother grew up in the pink palace and it would explain why the cat is so close to Wybie. He’s protecting him. I’m not sure where I stand on this as it makes the timeline a bit messy but I think it’s interesting nonetheless. 

Wybie says that his grandmother won’t let families with kids move into the pink palace. So why would she let the Jones family live there? I think the most plausible and most easily understandable theory I’ve seen is that she’s protecting Wybie. He is around the age that her sister went missing and while I don’t think the grandma knows about the other world, I think she does know that there’s more to it than her sister running away. So she was willing to let another child, Coraline, be taken if it meant that Wybie was safe. 

Now for the origins of the other mother. Some theorize that she’s a fairy, of course not in the traditional sense with wings and a magic wand, and that she created the other world. Others believe that she was once human and discovered the other world. The human theory is the one I find the most interesting. We know that the pink palace was built around 150 years ago when the movie takes place. It was confirmed that the story takes place in Ashland, Oregon and we can assume that the town was settled around 150 years ago. A lot of people believe that the other mother was the original owner of the house. It would explain why the garden is in the shape of her face which later takes the characteristics of Coraline. She was obviously very wealthy. Some believe that picture of the ‘boring blue boy’ that Coraline finds in the study is a picture of the other mother’s son. Some believe that he died and the other mother either was called to the well by some magic of the other world, accidently fell in the well, or purposefully jumped in the well. And we’ve established that the well is a portal into the other world. And the reason she lures kids in by pretending to be their mother is in part because she is trying to replace her dead son. She discovered the other world and took it over.

And now for the parents. The other mother seemingly ‘captured’ Coraline’s parents. Yet the parents have no recollection of it. And while her parents seem a bit neglectful, it’s unlikely that they would write the ‘help us’ message on the mirror. They wouldn’t put their 10/11 year old daughter in danger on purpose like that. She made it seem like she kidnapped the parents to give Coraline more incentive to go back to the other world. And again, if we accept the limbo theory, the snow on the parents’ clothing when they return would’ve been put there by the other mother to make it seem like she really did kidnap them. If she can control the limbo word, she would have been able to do that. 

Okay, that’s it for now. I have a lot more theories but this is very long already. I hope this was comprehensible. A lot of these are very complicated but I did my best to explain them. 

[knivesareout]

marcus moreno sfw alphabet

About a week ago, @michaelperry messaged me and asked how I felt about collab’ing because she was having some soft Marcus feels and we’re always feeling soft about this man over here so now we have this! Hope y’all enjoy! Read it on AO3 here.

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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

In both platonic and romantic relationships, Marcus is pretty affectionate. Whether he’s touching your arm reassuringly or offering an ear to listen to your problems, he wants to show you that he loves and cares for you. He sees it very much as coming out of his role as a leader—perhaps he can’t always be the one to fix things for you, but he’s intent on always showing that he supports you. And to his mind, affection is support.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Friendships with Marcus would probably start out by sharing mutual interests, but he’s also definitely built some relationships out of little things: one-off jokes, being the only two people not in a conversation at a party, things like that. There’s an ease to Marcus that makes it easy to turn those moments of camaraderie into real friendship.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Marcus is a cuddler, through and through. It’s comforting and warm and gives him a sense of security and peace. A morning cuddle before getting up, one before falling asleep and anytime he can get his arms around you and just hold you. He’s an arms wrapped tightly, nose buried wherever he can find your skin kind of cuddler. And though Missy is grown, he’ll still find her laying her head on his chest and squeezing him tight.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Marcus is the definition of domestic. Look it up in the dictionary and a picture of this man will be there beside it. Settling down is always something on his mind since his wife passed, craving the routine and feeling of sharing his life with someone. He cooks, cleans, and does laundry like a damn champ: sorting everyone’s clothes by colors and fabrics. He has his bedtime routine down to a science and loves seeing your toothbrush next to his when you finally take that next step.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If your relationship with Marcus necessitates an actual break-up, things have gotten serious. Lives merging even if there aren’t rings on fingers sort of serious. So because he takes his serious relationships… seriously, he’ll tell you if he starts to feel like the relationship is going downhill. The two of you will be sharing a quiet night in and he’ll just open up and admit that he feels like things aren’t working as well as they used to.

Because of that, though, if he were trying to end things, you’d… know already. Either because things wouldn’t have gotten better, or because perhaps they got worse. And so it is that things would go out not with a bang, but with a whimper—him kinda sadly looking at you across the kitchen one morning and you being like, “Yeah, you’re right.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marcus is in it to win it when he finds the right one. He hates the idea of wasting his time, your time, when he just knows. The idea of commitment only phases him in the way that he worries for Missy’s sake but he trusts that if something didn’t feel right, she would tell him. Marcus proposes after 6 months but gives you plenty of time to just be engaged, the ring on your finger being enough to tide him over because every time he sees it, he knows you’re his.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Let’s say that Marcus is gently assertive. Emotionally, he’s not going to steamroll you, but he always wants to make sure you know where he stands. To some degree, he feels like holding back too much is akin to lying, so he’s unafraid to say hard things even knowing that they might knock you over.

He’s plenty assertive physically, too, because in case it’s not clear from his love of cuddling, Marcus loves touch. But as a strange side effect of the Heroics, he’s particularly aware of how he’s touching when he’s not on the job. He’s careful about not wanting to get too intense (unless you want him to).

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Marcus loves hugs. He loves the simple intimacy of them—from a quick goodbye hug to something more emotional where you just collapse against his chest after a long day. And there is nothing like a hug from Marcus. His strong arms and broad chest envelop you in the safest, most comforting way. He’s warm without being hot, soft but sturdy. He can just tell when you need one too, holding his arms out when you give him a simple look.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

When Marcus knows, he knows. It only takes Marcus a few months to know—after he’s spilled every possible dark, terrible secret he has and you don’t look at him any differently. When he introduces you to Missy and though there’s a bit of hesitation at first, you two catch on like wildfire after the initial awkwardness. It’s when he can see how well you fit into his family, how easy it would be for him to make room in his life for you and he realizes he already has.

He says it after a typical night for the three of you, dinner and a movie that Missy’s picked out because it was her turn. After he’s tucked her into bed and comes down to find you putting on your shoes to head home. He tilts your chin up and says the words so easily, like he’s said them a million times before (and he has, over and over in his head when he looks at you) and asks you to stay.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Because touch is so important to him as a way of expressing his affection and desire for you, Marcus’s jealousy might get stirred a bit when he sees someone put their arms around you or a hand on your shoulder. He’s secure enough in your relationship that he doesn’t see things as a real threat, but yeah, he might let out a low, warning growl and pull you close, maybe kiss you on the cheek.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Marcus is soft and gentle at first, his lips a little chapped. He can’t bother to remember to pack chapstick with him because he’s busy.

He likes to kiss the spot under your ear that makes you shiver, then across your cheek to find your lips. It’s easy to lose yourself in his kisses, passionate and all consuming.

Marcus likes to be kissed right below the hollow of his throat, where a small freckle sits and he’s just a little bit more sensitive there than any other place above his shoulders.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Marcus is great with kids and always has been. He's gentle and patient with them, loves listening to their over the top stories full of gibberish and makes sure to nod in all the right places. Babies quiet their tears when he holds them because his hands are just comforting and strong, making them feel safe. When Missy came into his life, he was wrapped around her finger and she was a total daddy’s girl, reaching for him more than anyone.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Marcus wakes with the early dawn, liking to get in a run before he starts his day. He’s always downstairs before you are, freshly showered and drinking his morning cup of coffee with the paper. He can take a slow morning from time to time but you’re usually shoving him out of bed after 30 minutes or so, his fidgeting annoying. You don’t complain when he pulls you into the shower with him when you can’t manage to fall back asleep.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are often unpredictable because Marcus’s days are unpredictable: the Heroics aren’t really dictated by “weekday” vs. “weekend.” Some days probably don’t look much different than an office job, but some days he’s having to do big important saving the world things. So the tone of your evening is often spontaneous, with the general sentiment of, “Oh, you didn’t have to save the world today? Hmm maybe we should go out for dinner or a movie.”

That said, finding time of any sort together can be difficult, so the two of you are often content to stay in and just keep things low key. Really enjoy each other’s company.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

You can expect a pretty steady stream of vulnerability from Marcus in the early stages of your relationship in particular. He won’t unload all of his baggage on you, certainly not at once, but he absolutely wants to share everything with you, and in his mind, being open about himself is crucial to showing how serious he is about you. The first cue that he wants you to really know him comes when he opens up about being a widower. It’s difficult, it’s personal and intimate to Marcus, but he also sees it as being inevitably impactful on your relationship, so he feels you need to know. Those are the sorts of things he wants to make sure to share sooner rather than later.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Marcus Moreno? Legendary leader of a group of superheroes? He’s developed a very cool head from conflict mediation that carries over into most arguments or scenarios where his anger might be provoked.

But all of this goes out the window when Missy is involved. If Missy’s in danger, Marcus immediately jumps into protective dad mode, and his anger comes out full-force in an instant.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Marcus is pretty detail-oriented in general, so he’s great at remembering things about you, but he especially internalizes things you share in moments of real vulnerability or while seeking out his advice. He wants to be able to check in about it later, or remember details so that when you bring them up again, he’s immediately on the same page.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It’s easy for Marcus to remember the first time he really thought, “Wow, this is it. I want this.”

It was a spontaneous trip to the science museum downtown, you mentioning it off hand the night before after seeing a flyer up in the grocery store and Marcus booking the tickets before falling asleep. There was a science fair at school that Missy was dithering over whether or not to apply for and you figured a trip to the museum would give her that final push.

It was about half way through the museum when Marcus had realized he’d lost the two of you and he went searching through a few rooms when he found the both of you, bent over a robot and chatting about it excitedly. He watched you pull Missy into your side, squeezing her tight, and that’s when he knew.

Later that night, when you’re both nestled in bed with your head on his chest, you tell him Missy decided to sign up for the science fair.

He buys a ring the next day.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Especially in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, Marcus goes on high-alert whenever you’re in a context that could even possibly be read as dangerous: even out at bars, he’s keeping an eye out for bad guys who might try to hit on you, not really as a jealousy thing but because he wants you to be safe. And God forbid you end up in possible danger because of a threat the Heroics are dealing with; as much as he doesn’t want to, he can’t help fretting over you in particular.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Marcus likes to keep things casual unless it’s a special occasion and then he’s pulling out all stops: hotel booked, dinner reservations and a night all about you.

He definitely tries to lessen the burden of everyday tasks for you, or as much as he can manage while still juggling work. He makes sure he’s still pulling his weight and not leaving them to you just because you’re less busy.

Marcus is a random gift giver: I saw this and thought of you kind of gifts are his specialty, and they are always something that’ll make you less stressed. Like, when he overheard you complaining about the lack of storage in the pantry and the next day there was a box full of acrylic storage containers shipped to the house with a note attached that read, “Until I can build you something better, I hope these help.”

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

There are a few bad habits of Marcus’s that drive you wild (like leaving the toilet seat up when he’s in a hurry or the sink covered in his beard trimmings when he forgets to lay a towel down), but the absolute worst is when he clips his toenails and leaves the clippings wherever they land.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Marcus doesn’t really care what the average person on the street thinks of him, but he cares very much what Missy thinks, and also what you think. With Missy, it’s more that sometimes he enjoys messing with her, just a little bit. Wearing a tacky pair of shoes or a goofy t-shirt if he knows that she’s in a good enough mood to just be giggly and embarrassed about it. You, on the other hand… Well. He wants you to be into him in every way, so he cares. Of course he does.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

When Marcus became a widower, Missy became his “other half.” He put so much love into her, wanting her to feel safe and supported after their shared loss, and part of that is because he did feel like his wife made him whole. At a time when everything was hard, when he easily could have felt incomplete, being there for Missy meant everything. That was where he allowed himself to feel whole.

But after feeling that ache and that loss for a while, he does start to give himself permission to look for a new kind of wholeness, because while he’s been able to be there for Missy, obviously he needs someone who could support him so completely. And it’s hard and maybe a little frightening at first, when he starts to find that in you, but he also knows that he can’t live scared about really, truly loving again even if that could mean also feeling incomplete again later. Even if he might feel incomplete without you… well. Instead he’ll lean into how fucking much he loves feeling whole with you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Introducing you to his mother is just as big a step for Marcus as sharing you with Missy for the first time. And look, it’s… honestly, it could have gone better. The two of you had to rush over because Marcus got held up saving the world, and he figured that Anita would understand since obviously she was a part of the Heroics too, in her own way. But wow, was it rough. She was short with you both and whenever you spoke, her responses were short and abrupt. Marcus left that night incredibly perplexed, swearing that wasn’t anything like her.

You had suspicions to the contrary, which are confirmed a few weeks later over your fourth dinner together. Marcus and Missy go into the kitchen together to get dessert sorted, and Anita leans her elbows sternly on the table to ask whether you see things with Marcus as permanent. Besides Marcus, she’s the first person who knows the answer is yes.

The two of you get along wonderfully, after that.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Marcus isn’t into big, outward displays of physical affection. He doesn’t mind a kiss to the cheek or a hand around the waist but he detests seeing people make out in public and it makes you laugh every time he sees it happen when you’re out, wrinkling his nose and turning away.

Also big on personal hygiene, he’s big on his morning showers after his run. He’s overly aware of his own body odor, and others’, and likes to make sure he smells good (which he does). It, in turn, makes you more alert to your own so more often than not, you’ll jump in the shower with him just to make sure.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Marcus does the morning crossword puzzle from the paper every night in bed, glasses perched low on his nose while you read a book next to him. He sleeps on the right and you sleep on the left. He has to have the ceiling fan running and the temperature set to 65 or lower to be able to sleep comfortably since he runs warm.

[sourpatchbeast]

It's been years, and I think I finally know why I, along with some other people have some frustration towards the Universe 6 Saiyans. It's not ENTIRELY because of the powerscaling bullshit. But it's sorta because of powerscaling bullshit. Let me explain.

To be frank, Goten and Kid Trunks demeaned the value of Super Saiyan Status, like a long fucking time ago in the Buu Saga. They're two little snot noses brats who have only vague interest in training, Trunks having trained mostly independent of his father to the extent of only showing him Super Saiyan like, the day the Buu Saga started. Goten is so untrained as a martial artist compared the rest of the cast due to only really doing things with his normal martial artist level mother, he couldn't even fly at the start of Saga, yet was able go into this legendary transformation as a little kid. Its fucking stupid.

And I think they're fantastic and super funny.

Gotenks is even less less justified, having only had like a month of isolated mentorless training, and managing to get to fucking Super Saiyan 3. It's absolutely fucking ridiculous, that they reached the ability to scream so hard they tear through reality just by fucking around for a month.

And yet, I think they're even funnier then Trunks and Goten.

Have you seen that baller movie with the reboot version of Broly? He's is, monumentally worse then the kids if you really think about it. He was stranded on a this terrible fucking planet, mentally, physically and emotionally just starved ally while fighting off a bunch of horrific shit that realistically was incapable of actually hurting him. He was a planet buster when he was a baby, how the hell could anything on that planet make him stronger. And yet, he absolutely fucking thrashes Goku and Vegeta, people who have been trained by GODS that wipe out like, solar systems with a wave of their hand. It logically makes no sense.

But I don't give a flying fuck, because it was raw as hell.

So why do I struggle to like the Universe 6 Saiyans, when I like those guys?

It's for a simple reason really. It's all about design, and presentation. They do not have an angle that fully justifies their power in a satisfactory way like humor, and they don't have a design that lets me just shallowly just think they're cool to look at.

Let's look at Cabba first since he has the most screentime. Look at design for me for a second alright?

Does this look like a member of an alternate universe's version of a Saiyan warrior? One that is supposed to be notable enough the god of destruction choose him of all the people in his race, to be a member in his martial arts team? The introduction to how their universe's version of Saiyans work, as Heroes of Justice? Fuck no, he doesn't look like he's ever fought a day in his god damn life. I don't hate him or anything, but his appearance simply doesn't match the idea of what he's supposed to be. It's just lame. Lame as fuck. And it's not played as a joke either, you're supposed to take at face value this string bean motherfucker wearing this dollar store getup is the first Super Saiyan of his universe.

He should be significantly more built as someone that is diligently protecting people, and he should be wearing actual practical battle garments. He's an active warrior, who apparently has a great deal of authority and he looks like a malnourished baby. If you wanted him to look this way, change the story. If you wanted the story, change the appearance. As it stands, Cabba is underwhelming aesthetic wise and needs a redesign.

Let's move onto Caulifla and Kale. They're technically not as bad as Cabba, but they still suffer from the same issue and it's a lot more disappointing because they're better conceptually. Let's look at them now.

Does this look like the fearless leader of a gang of ruthless ruffian Sayians that are so skilled they get away with operating a largely successful business of thievery all while on a planet of fucking space cops? Does the girl besides her look like the shy, yet secretly obsessive 2nd in command that beneath the surface is the legendary Demon Saiyan, feared as a legend told in prophecy?

No, absolutely the fuck not. They only look that way in fanart that changes their appearance, don't lie to yourself.

Why does Caulfla, this bloodthirsty criminal who absolutely loves fighting and is pretty much outright stated to be the most like an Universe 7 Saiyan but is simply held back by her society, have no scars? Why is so skinny? She looks like she talks about fighting, but never got into a scrape. That's disappointing as hell.

Kale is a bit more understandable- she's supposed to look demure and sedated in her base form, yet wild and powerful when bulked up. But that lead to her looking ultimately rather plain, and poorly acts as a foil to Caulifla. And her outfit looks fucking stupid in her roided out transformation- she should have an outfit and feel that makes both forms believable. The old non-canon version would've been a great base to work off of. Make even her base form tall as hell, even if not particularly bulky. Make little hints to the idea she'd scary as hell if she made more proper use of her body. Have design with some foreshadowing to it.

I think it's just really heartbreaking this trio just failed in such an important department. Presentation is everything in entertainment, and they just dropped the ball. Its just tainted with this sense of unnecessary minimalism, when such a thing just undermines what's there.

[thatboredreviewer]

REVIEW OF IT ENDS WITH US: BY COLLEEN HOOVER (Spoilers)

Yesterday I had the absolute pleasure and honor of getting the chance to read It ends with us, written by Colleen Hoover. I have in my life come across only 2 books and a movie that have affected me and represented the reality of life. One of these books is It ends with us.

I admire the courage that the author took to actually put her mother's and her own experience into writing. Like many others, prior to this book, the idea of choosing to stay with someone who has abused you has been a simple binary question. While I read this book I fell in love with Ryle within the first few chapters and in the chapters in which Atlas's story was shared via her diary entries, I wished the chapters were shorter so that I could have more of Ryle. I absolutely his character and the banter and "naked truths" between Lily and him.

The abuse that Lily's mother went through in her marriage made me sick and also question her judgement, as it was the basic idea that was built into my mind. If they hit you, you should be able to leave easily. No excuses. But then I read the story through Lily's perspective when she went through the same exact thing. The first instance, I reasoned for her. He didn't mean it. It definitely wasn't the same. Ryle would get better as the story went on and it would be a happily ever after. The second incident, getting pushed down the stairs, I questioned my judgement. I felt sick and hollow reading what he had done, how he had denied it. But I wished that she wouldn't leave him. He was good, he was great, he made her laugh. The reason he gave made me feel relief. Deep down I knew it was wrong and several times I had to close the book in order to assess what was happening. I accepted it and I was glad when she took him back. The third incident was the worst and it was awful. But in my head I reasoned for her again. I knew it was wrong, to go through something so awful. But I blamed Lily for not telling him, I blamed her and tried to justify what he did wasn't in his control he needed help.

I suppose in a way I was trying to justify the countless times I have let myself give a chance to someone who gave me emotional pain and made me feel small and insignificant but I wanted to let him have another chance, because I missed him. Because he was good most of the times and those small moments when he wasn't shouldn't have defined our relationship. It wasn't the magnitude or physical level of abuse Lily went through. But I related to her. The waves of reasoning, the love she felt for him. I hated her despite everything for going to Atlas to save herself from him. I WAS WRONG.

What Colleen Hoover has managed to do through this book in the very end with the conversation with her mother about limits that we let the ones we love push and expand, just because we love them. Making things that they shouldn't ever have a right to do a reality. There are some limits we shouldn't let someone push and yet we do. It ends with us has done a commendable job in showing the reality of it. You let them hurt you more and more and give them more chances so when the next time they hurt you on the most basic level your worst case scenario is changed. You can justify that what they did this time wasn't at least something as bad as last time so it was okay. It's not. I admired her decision to leave him at the end, Colleen Hoover managed to speak to me personally while she explained that if the situation was turned, that you were the parent and someone did this to their child. You would beg them to live.

This book was a beautiful work of art and perhaps some people will not be able to understand the entire meaning behind the story. The amount of courage it took for the author to put to paper what she did. To share it with us and teach us what it means to be in an abusive relationship. To not only look at the reason. It hurts, it breaks your heart because you loved him in the first few chapters, but life moves on to the next chapter and we have to move with it because if we get stuck to that first impression we will never be able to escape and truly make the right decisions. It was not a risk worth taking. I would recommend anyone who wishes to get a greater understanding of love, of relationships to read this book. It doesn't have the happy ever after you want. But it is the one we need to read.

I thank the author for her work and for sharing this with us. I cannot express how much this book resonated with me and how much I loved it. I cannot wait to read the sequel. For everyone who has said that the book is not worth the hype, they haven't truly experienced love or rather haven't experienced love with heartbreak.

I think this just became my new favorite book.

Unity

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Love On-Set (Pt. 01 of 10)

Pairing: Dacre Montgomery X Reader

Word count: 3K

Next part (02) ->

Summary: You knew acting on Stranger Things season 3 would be a challenge, and you also knew, from the start, you'd have to work closely with Dacre Montgomery. But is wasn't a big deal for you, since this is your job and you're determined to act professionally. You had it all figured out, or so you thought, until the moment you were out face to face with Dacre. Then, this job became a lot harder than it was supposed to be, since you can't seem to focus whenever you're around Dacre. And you'll have to be around him a lot until the end of production.

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

First Sight

The minivan stops right before entering the set as the driver speaks with one of the security guards. A huge structure was built around the area, and if it wasn't for the strong lights, you'd be in complete darkness. It's late at night, but yet, there are some journalists and a lot of cameras. They immediately surround the car, trying to see who's inside.

“Vicki, do you think I should go out and talk to them?” You decide to ask her first, because you're not as known as the other actors, and you're not sure if they'd want to talk to you.

“Sure. But don't take long.” She nods, touching the drive's shoulder and telling him to wait.

Taking a deep breath, you push the door open, a smile on your face as the cameras quickly find you. Running a hand through your hair, to make sure it's not messed up, you take in all the microphones and smartphones pointed at your face.

“(Y/N), could you answer some questions?” A short, dark-haired guy asks, a camera flashing.

“It depends on the question, but I'll try my best.” This seems to please them, and you wonder if the others couldn't afford a few minutes.

“Your posted on your Instagram account that you were a Stranger Things fan from season one.” A woman asks. “How was the transition from being a fan to acting on the show?”

“It was fantastic.” The first season of the show was still driving people crazy when you got the call for an audition for the role of Amy Whitehall, for seasons two and three. Vicky, you have no idea how, got in touch with some friends when she heard they were searching of someone with physical traits similar to yours. Thankfully, the audition went well and you got the job. “It's an honor to be part of this masterpiece. The only bad part is that now I have some spoilers.”

“Your character's scene by the end of season two had any interaction with Billy Hargrove, Hawking's bad boy. Does that mean she'll be in any kind of relationship with him?”

For that, you have to think, careful not to say anything that will expose the plot.

People are very interested in Billy, not sure exactly where the character will go from now on, after his introduction on season two. He stole many hearts, for love or hate, dividing opinions. And your character had a short appearance by very end of the last episode, shown in an interaction with him. On her way to the ball, to help Nancy, Billy almost runs her over with his car, after dropping his sister. They had a small dialogue, him asking her to get out of the way and her telling him to look where he was going. Then a pause, a little bit of tension, and that was it.

“I'm not allowed to answer that, but Amy's scene was just an introduction. Her character will be around throughout season three.” Offering another smile, you turn around, giving attention to someone else.

“What will be a new threat? The season finale raised a lot of questions about–”

“Excuse me, excuse me.” Vicky pokes her head out, a hand raised. “I'm sorry, but we have to get going.”

“Aright.” You mumble. “Thank you, guys. Bye.” Politely, you wave at the reporters before going back into the van.

You're soon moving again, leaving the entrance behind and driving in darkness for some minutes before more lights come into your sight until they're all around you. The set was built around a piece of the road, where you already shot earlier this week.

“C'mon, (Y/N). Hair and make-up." Vicky urgers, stepping out of the van with you.

You easily find your way around the set, chatting with people as they do your hair and put the makeup on. There will be a tiny cut above your left eyebrow, and Ron, the guy who always take care of the fake wounds around here, takes only fifteen minutes to get it done. Once you're ready, Vicky guides you to the filming area, and you sit on your chair a few feet away, under one of the many huge tents scattered around the place.

“Hi.” Someone says, and you abruptly look up from your phone, finding your co-star. The only co-star of the day, Dacre. He's already full Billy, with the mullet wig and the leather jacket. “I didn't mean to startle you. Just thought I'd come to say hello before the scene.”

You haven't properly spoken to Dacre. The single scene you made was quick, one of the last, and the set was a mess. So you didn't have the chance to talk, and ever since, you haven't crossed paths with him. But today's scene is all about your characters. Amy's first appearance on season three will have her running from something in the woods, the Mind Flayer, and she crashes her car on Billy's, while he's on the way to meet Mrs. Wheeler. That's it for today, their first meeting.

“Hi.” Smiling back, you shake his hand. “I'm (Y/N).” You decide to remind him.

“I know.” He simply says. “Do you want to go over the lines before the real thing?”

He has such a nice voice, it's impressive. You've watched some of his movies, and he's really good. It's not like you haven't acted before, but nothing so important or famous as Stranger Things. You can't help but be a little nervous. “Sure.” Blocking your phone, you stand up, leaving it on your seat.

“Alright. Let's–”

“(Y/N)! Dacre! It's time, c'mon!” The director calls, cutting you off.

“Guess we'll go straight to the real thing,” Dacre says as you start making your way to where the cars are positioned.

Billy's Camaro and Amy's light green Toyota are placed a few inches apart, the front part already wrecked and a light smoke coming off from under the hood.

“The mechanism will push the cars on each other and the rest you already know.” Your stylist comes to check on you one last time, making sure everything is perfect. When she steps away, you get inside the car.

A few days ago you shot Amy's way over here, driving insanely fast, running from the shadows creeping. Most of the scenes where Amy will be alone were already made since there weren't many. She will be around the others a lot, as the events are unrevealed.

Once you're in the car, you take your time to get into character, ignoring the orders being yelled outside. The lights are turned off, and the road before you is almost completely dark.

“Let's get it started, everyone!” The director shouts. “Action!”

At his command, the car jerks forward.

Letting your head fall on the wheel, you breathe fast, wide eyes acknowledging what just happened, the crash, the smoke, the other car that collided with yours. Looking over your shoulder, you imagine, you picture it coming, moving through the threes, growing closer.

“What the hell!” The voice yells as you try to make your car start again, uselessly. “You could've killed me!”

“Damn it.” Cursing under your breath, overcome by terror, you step out of the car, running around it and into the other one, which is still working, opening the passenger door and rushing inside.

“What do you think you're doing? Get the hell out of my car!” Dacre shouts at your face, in Billy's voice, a little deeper.

“There's something in the woods!” You yell, looking through the rear windshield. “It's coming!”

“Are you crazy or something?! You almost wrecked my car!” As he speaks, you imagine it once again, the tentacles coming from the sky, taking over the road behind you.

Then you grab his arm, squeezing the muscle underneath the jacket. He's in the middle of a sentence when he looks back too, immediately going silent as he's eyes meet the same inexistent thing you're seeing.

“What the–”

“Drive!” You burst out, and the car starts moving.

“Cut!” The director's voice reaches both of you and Dacre hits the brakes.

Relaxing, you let go of his arm.

“That was great, but I want another take. Ryan, turn those lights down.”

The scene is repeated three more times, with different lighting until they finally decide it's perfect. Then the whole set starts moving to the next scene, which is the sequence to what just played out. It'll be shot in a street Northeast from the road, and since it'll play out from the Camaro, you're told to stay in the car as Dacre drives there, following the other cars.

“You did well back there,” Dacre says as you move, taking a different turn from the other cars to reach your mark. The street has a few small houses on one side, which will have their lights on and some people moving inside and on their balconies, and tall threes on the other.

“You too. Hope I didn't hurt your arm, but Amy was terrified.” Shrugging your shoulders, you smile to hear his giggle.

“I noticed.” He says. “But my arm will survive.”

Looking his way, you're able to have a good look at him now. It's a little dark, but you can take in his features. Dacre makes the mullet look good, which is impressive since you absolutely hate the hairstyle. But not on him. Clearing your throat, you look away. “Make sure it will. You'll need it.”

Dacre stops by the mark, everyone apparently already on their positions. “Things are about to get tense for Billy and Amy now.”

“First fight.” You say, taking a look at your outfit to make sure nothing is out of place. “Enemies to lovers is quite a good arch.”

“I like it too.”

“(Y/N). Dacre. Are you ready?” The director asks and both of you give him a thumbs up, hands off the window. The crew with the microphones and cameras are already positioned, ready for the scene. “Alright then. Ready... Action!”

Dacre moves the car forward, just enough to fake it as he hits the breaks. “What was that?” Billy asks, annoyed for some reason Amy wouldn't know.

“I don't know.” With a hand on your hair, shaking a little, you breathe fast, terrified. “Just take me home.”

“Now I gotta drive you home too?”

“Screw you.” The sudden outburst and the disgust in his voice makes you bolt out of the car, keeping in mind not to look at the cameras following you.

“Are you going to walk?” Billy yells, but you don't look back, walking fast, crossing your arms. “Wait.”

“Screw. You.”

“Don't be an idiot.” You roll your eyes when you notice he's coming closer. Dacre grabs your arm, forcing you to turn around. “Are you really going to walk home with that... Thing out there?”

You're confused at his change of moods, pushing your arm away. “Does it look like I have a choice? You just saw that–” You gesture at the threes on the other side of the road. “–and you still couldn't bring yourself to drive a lady home. You're such a gentleman.” Raising your voice, you put the same tone of disgust in your voice that you heard in his. The cameras move a little closer, and you know why. That's when the tension starts, when Amy stands up to Billy. Stepping forward, lifting your head to try and look him in the eye, you put a single finger in his chest. “You're far worse than what people say you are.” You don't get why his eyes make you nervous. Maybe this whole thing is more than you're used to, too big of a production for you after a few years away from the cameras. As much as Dacre's face being so close makes you feel funny, you gotta keep it cool, don't let it show. You're scared, terrified of a monster in the woods.

“Cut the bullshit and let's go.” He takes your arm again, but you refuse to follow him, standing your ground.

“Let go!” You struggle a bit on his grip, noticing how you actually need to act as if it's tighter than it really is. When he turns to face you again, as you struggle, his face comes close again, his eyes filled with Billy's annoyance.

“Get your butt–” Exactly in time, a crack reaches your ears, and both you and Dacre look at the woods with wide eyes, your breaths caught in your throats, unsure of what made that noise, but not excited to find out. “Let's get out of here.”

“Yeah.” You mumble, heading back into the car.

“And cut!” The director yells as soon as you close the door shut. “That was good, but I want another take. I want the same tension you both built on season 2, only now it's stronger, you're face to face. And Dacre, work this out because people need to be convinced Billy likes someone for something else than just fool around.”

You both nod, repeating the same thumbs-up gesture. Taking a deep breath you wait for the sign and starts moving, doing pretty much the same until you're both out of the car, but this time, when Dacre pulls your arm, you act as if the pull was stronger then it actually was, letting yourself collide against his chest before stepping away. “Are you really going to walk home with that... Thing out there?”

“Does it look like I have a choice? You just saw that and you still couldn't bring yourself to drive a lady home. You're such a gentleman.” Instead of just putting a finger on his chest, you push him away with both hands, not keeping the normal distance as doing so, and letting your eyes fall on his unbuttoned shirt for a couple of seconds before raising your them again. You feel the heat on your cheeks, and you know you're blushing. Checking him out was not the intention.

Dacre's eyes meet yours, and for a second they soften before the usual annoyance comes back. You wonder if he's trying to say something, give you a hint about something he wants to do, but you have no idea what it might be. “Cut the bullshit and let's go, princess.” The weight on the last word is different, lower, meant as in insult, an irony.

“Let go!” You whisper-yell, trying to pull away, but you stop when Dacre holds the other arm, trying to drag you to the car. His stare is intense, and the cameras move a little, coming closer, and you know they're focusing on your faces. “Let go.” You repeat, much lower this time, trying to put some distance between you and him, since your bodies are way too close already.

“Get your butt–” The crack again, the stare at the woods, and the sudden change of moods. Run now, fight later. “Let's get the hell out of here.”

Nodding in agreement, you give your arms one last push, and Drace's eyes come back to you as if remembering he was still holding you, finally releasing his grip. You both run to the car and the scene is over.

Despite saying it was perfect, the director wanted two more takes. He wants proximity, touching, anger mixed with a sudden, recently discovered passion from an unexpected connection at first sight. You're happy to hear that you did achieve that, not sure if it came from your skills or the funny feeling you had in your stomach through the scene. It's weird to have someone you basically just met so close, only inches away.

When it's all done, you take off the outfit and put your clothes back on after washing the make-up away. Then you wait for Vicky, leaning against the minivan, scrolling through your Instagram feed.

“Hi again.” You see Dacre approaching through the corner of your eyes, raising your head to look at him. “Have you checked in at the hotel yet?”

“Yes, just before coming here.” All the actors are staying at the same hotel, just so it's easier to gather everyone around when needed, and be sure of the time it gets for them to get on set.

“I came in my car. I can give you a ride there if you like.” As he speaks, you see Vicky coming, talking with the director. Which you still don't know the name yet.

“I came with Vicky, my agent.” Gesturing at her, you feel embarrassed to decline, and you hope Vicky will say something to help you out as she usually does. “Right, Vi?”

“Oh, no.” Waving her hand in a fast motion, she puts a lock of her blond hair behind her ear. “Remember what I told you? Make connections, friends. Don't stick with me during the whole production.” She reaches out her hand and Dacre politely shakes it. “I'm Victoria Klein. (Y/N)'s agent and her mother's oldest friend.”

“Dacre Montgomery.” He simply says.

“You may take her to the hotel. I have some things to do and she needs to rest. Long day tomorrow.”

You just watch as Vicky sets you up as if you're not even there to make your own call. But you're too shy to say anything else, to still refuse Dacre's kindness. “Ok then. See you, Vicky.”

“Have a good night.” She says after giving you a quick hug.

Silently, you follow Dacre through the set to the parking lot. His car is among several different trucks, some of them already leaving. “Nice car.” You tell him as you get into the passenger seat.

“It's rented.” Dacre turns the ignition and the car comes to life. “I can't be without a car. What if I need to go somewhere?”

“Fair enough.”

He drives through the huge set and you fall into a comfortable silence, not sure of that to say. It would help if you could see some kind of landscape or anything at all through the window. Then you wouldn't look like an idiot with eyes glued at nothing but darkness.

“Did you stop to speak to the journalists?” Dacre asks when you reach the exit, waving at one of the guards.

“Yes. You?”

“Yeah. What did they ask?”

“Spoilers.” Shrugging your shoulders, you give him a glance, and he does the same. “About Amy's and Billy's relationship. What can be expected after their meeting in the season finale.”

A low giggle escapes his lips. “Wait until they know.”

“But they will have to wait until next year.”

“You did well back there. You actually blushed. How did you do that?” He stops at the red light, and you feel when he looks at you. Running a hand through your hair, you meet his eyes.

You weren't trying to blush. You just did. “I'm a very good actress.” Giving him a sassy smirk, you see when his lips break into a smile. It's different from Billy's smile, he doesn't act like he's trying to hide some unknown meaning behind it.

“You sure are.” The red light turns green and you start moving again. “Uhm... There will be a kissing scene, you know.” Oh. The kissing scene. You read through it, of course, you just didn't give much thought about it. “Have you ever done a kissing scene?”

“No.” The answer is quick, you don't have to think much. “In my long list of three movies, in two of them my character didn't have any romantic interests and in the other one it was platonic.” Dacre had done it, you remember from some movie, not sure which one. Your mother insisted on watching some of his movies, just so you'd ‘get to know your co-star skills’ before actually having to work with him. But it's different. It's completely different watching a character on screen and then meeting the person behind it.

“Oh, ok. I hope I won't make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Don't worry about that.” You're a professional, and that's your job. It's just a kiss anyways, and the scene won't be shot any time soon. You'll have time to get used to the idea.

“I just think that since our characters arch is connected from now on, it would be good to get to know each other. It helps a lot when the co-stars are somehow friends.”

“Of course.” He has way more experience in this than you, so whatever he says, you agree.

When you get to the hotel, Dacre leaves his car on the underground parking lot, and, despite having his room key, he insists on accompanying you to the reception to get your card. Once you're in the elevator, you rest your back against the mirror, watching the numbers as they light up.

“We should exchange numbers,” Dacre says, turning to look at you. “In case some of us need to go through the lines or work on something.” He shrugs his shoulders, the light fabric of his white shirt moving. “It's a thing among us. You'll be invited to a lot of parties like that.”

“Sure.” Taking your phone off your pocket you unlock it and hand it over to him as he does the same. Quickly, you type your number and save if on his contacts list.

“That's my stop.” He says when you reach the 14th floor. “See you tomorrow.”

“Good night.” You mumble, waving at him as the elevator door closes again.

The first thing you do when you get to your room is kick off your shoes, already undressing to hit the shower before throwing yourself on bed. It's very late and you won't have many hours of sleep. You're halfway to the bathroom when you take your phone to put on some music. But you don't recognize the object in your hand. After a moment of confusion, you realize it's Dacre's phone.

“What now?” Stopping on your tracks, you start making the way back and gathering the clothes you left on the floor, putting them on again. Since you don't know the number of his room and knocking from door to door is ridiculous, you decide to call reception and just ask. But on your way to the landline they have near the couch, Dacre's phone starts ringing. You were wondering who would it be when you read your own name on the screen.

“Oh, hi.” You're quick to pick up. “I guess you have my phone.”

“Yeah, I got lucky it didn't lock, or else I'd have to call reception asking for your room.” His voice gets a lot darker through the phone. “Would you tell me which one is it? I'm already heading to your floor.”

“1703.” Already making your way to the door, you hear the soft beep of the elevator's doors opening.

“I'm almost there.” He's still speaking when he turns the corner, getting into your sight. You hang up, a shy smile on your face. “Sorry about that.” He hands you over your phone and you give him back his.

“It's alright. We're both tired.” You expect him to just say good night and leave, but he doesn't, shifting his weight from one leg to another.

“Have you met the others yet? Natalia, Joe, Millie...?”

“No, not yet.” You've heard they are very close, and you're the new girl in set. Saying you're nervous doesn't get anywhere close.

“I'm your only friend so far then.” Dacre states. “I'll break the ice with the others, don't worry.” He smiles again, and now, under the bright lights of the hotel hall, you can see his face perfectly. His blue eyes, a lot kinder then they were earlier today when he was Billy.

“Thanks. Guess I'll see you tomorrow then... Pool scenes.”

“Pool scenes.” He repeats. “I'll leave you to sleep now. Good night, (Y/N). Again.”

“Good night, Dacre.” Standing by the door, you watch as the walks away, towards the elevators.

You're about to head inside when, just before he turns around the corner, Dacre gives you one last look, a smile coming to his lips when his eyes meet yours.

×

@baker151910 @shinydixon @dreamin-of-dacre @hanoi15 @lickmymelanin @skykittysstuff

[jocia92]

… So much of an actor’s craft is figuring out the “I want” of their character, but that’s got to be a little different with Tom since he states that he literally cannot want anything. What challenge or opportunity did that pose for you?

I think he wants to improve. I think he wants to calibrate according to Alma’s needs, wants, and desires. I think he’s very ready to learn and to understand. That was the kind of primary objective: listen, learn, calibrate, improve. That’s almost the track of each scenario. He just gets a little better each time, and the process gets a little faster. But certainly, in the beginning, he’s just delivering this sort of 20 classic chat-up lines that he’s been uploaded with and getting it all wrong. It’s fun to watch the machine learn and chart that progress.

On a practical or philosophical level, how did you approach the process of humanizing a character that’s an algorithm, or did you at all?

It was very much about charting with Maria exactly when we want to see the machine, when we want to see the human. Even playing with that ratio was really interesting and fun. It’s not so much about watching him play the machine, but watching a character try to play the human. Certainly, in the beginning, in some of the not quite so successful human moments, shall we say, we deconstructed what we regarded as the conventional human behavior in that. We looked at a lot of screwball comedies, like Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, Katharine Hepburn movies. [We were] taking a move or a gesture, breaking that down, and just doing two of the things. It just suddenly looks very odd and wrong, and you’re like, “Oh, this is what a human does in this moment!” But it’s just off. It was really as much about looking at the human.

You’ve mentioned things like The Philadelphia Story as shaping the film and its central relationship. Was that to ground it in reality or further ensconce it in the warped reality of cinema? Grant and Stewart are recognizable to us as people, but things like that mid-Atlantic lilt were entirely manufactured for the screen.

That was a very key point for Maria in referencing Cary Grant. The hair color that we chose for Tom was very much like Cary Grant’s hair color, being a shade darker than is possibly human. And the skin tone being slightly artificial for Tom. You’re right, Cary Grant is often very heightened and mannered sometimes, and it works in the situation in the style of the thing that he’s in. But we quite liked the idea that Tom has been uploaded with some outdated versions of what a romantic lead was supposed to behave like.

It’s striking just how thought-out things had to be down to how Tom responds to dead air space in a conversation. What was the process behind those small moments that can make or break the believability of a character?

It was very fun to play with, and probably quite frustrating for a lot of the human actors. Maren was giving a beautifully naturalistic performance, and the conventional responses that there should be from her scene partner weren’t there. We deliberately strip those away—sometimes without telling her, sometimes without needing to tell her. It’s just the way that Tom was, so it was about pushing those moments into a space that became a little uncomfortable: not jumping in on the lines where you might normally jump in, sometimes coming in hard, sometimes offering a delayed response, sometimes none at all. Playing with those, and watching how comfortable or uncomfortable that made them both, was really fun.

Did that frustration, built in by the process, bleed over for Maren into the character of Alma, do you think?

Maybe for Maren. Certainly, for me, it was frustrating in that I would have to remember not to respond in the way that I might normally and remove some of those things. [I had to] really break down exactly what Tom is thinking, what his programming is doing in that point, how he’s responding and calibrating, and whether we see that or not. Choosing moments to show the human, to show the machine. Along with Maria, that was one of the great joys of the role.

How did you settle on the physicality of the character? Was it at all helpful to have done something like Beauty and the Beast in a mo-cap suit to be hyper-aware of how your own movements translate to the screen?

Very much so. In fact, in pretty much every role I’ve done since Beauty and the Beast, I’ve incorporated not always a movement coach, but I’ve definitely looked at movement theory and physicality in a totally new way because of the challenges of that role. And, I have to say, dance plays a huge part in that. Whether it’s incorporated on the screen or if it’s something that just feels as if it helps the role, I often find that a dance studio is a very fruitful space to discover things about your character’s physicality. Learning the rumba for this role was incredibly helpful because it’s a very precise, technical, almost robotic dance in terms of the laser precision that’s needed to get it absolutely right. I had a fantastically exact teacher in Berlin who was teaching me the rumba the whole way through the shoot. We shot that [one scene] quite near the end of the shoot. Just to have those lessons, that kind of physicality, and that poise with me the whole way through the role was really useful.

How did the role being in a non-native tongue affect the characterization of Tom? Was it all easier to make him seem slightly unreal given that the words might not come quite as naturally as they would in English?

I think it was a deliberate choice on the part of Maria to look for a foreign actor who could speak German. She needed somebody who could both get their heads and their mouths around the very technical German that was required, which, even for a German is pretty complex, but also who had that sense of otherness. I’m sure they could have tailored the screenplay to any number of nationalities, but I was very happy they came to me and made him British. It definitely helped with, as I say, the fact that he’s listening, learning, focusing, trying to improve…that was literally all I was doing last summer, every day.

How do you lock onto the frequency of German comedy, which isn’t always something people associate with that country or people? How is it different than doing something like the more mannered British wit of Blithe Spirit or the broad studio comedy of Eurovision Song Contest?

It’s not a country known for it, but I think they should [be]. I find Germans very funny. They have a very interesting sense of humor. What’s particularly delightful is the way that they can tackle really kind of big, sometimes weighty, issues with a certain wit and lightness of touch, which is not common to all countries. Physical comedy, I think, is fairly universal. I think there’s something almost farcical about some of the physical stuff that we managed to get in this. It was really fun to make people laugh in a foreign language. It was surprisingly delightful. It felt very unifying, somehow, to be able to get a joke across in any language.

[metvmorqhoses]

Hey there! I'd like to hear your thoughts about this. Jkr never put a lot of thought into voldemort as a character did she? The fact that his villainy is oversimplified to be "conceived under a love potion and hence can't love" although there are instances where he has loved. The narrative that is put forth is that every child who was conceived through unhealthy relationships, abandoning parents and difficult circumstances is destined to be incapable of love. (There are problems/issues because of these circumstances but it's not a doomed-to-be-unloved situation)

The abuse he faced or the trauma was never explained and neither was his nature which can be either perceived as arrogance or as self-preservation in his formative years..

I love your blog and analyses btw!🖤

i couldn’t agree more. i don’t know if you are familiar with what i usually write about voldemort as a villain and as an all-around character, but what you are talking about is not only something i always mention when i discuss him in a more complex, adult manner, but much more importantly is deeply linked to what i think about the hp series in general and to the one, major issue i have with it in particular. this is something i consider very important and, honestly, a topic that is never stressed enough: jkr wrote an overly black and white children book, where oversimplification is the fundamental fabric of everything and i find it all very problematic, to say the least.

i understand the series started as a children book and that characterizing so generically and so stereotypically serves as a great advantage to sell copies, since virtually everyone can draw their own conclusions about pretty much every single character of the series and therefore identify, but hp more often than not proudly poses as a moral compass, as a good-vs-evil lecture, aiming to accompany children into adulthood hand in hand (both the books and the movies literally grow in tone, length, targeted audience and themes with the children who are consuming them), so it’s not unfair of me to be concerned about what exactly these morals have been teaching children and then teens (myself included) for more than twenty years about reality, even as a fantasy series.

i often say the characterizations of its heroes is the thing that scares me the most about the hp series. the entirely of the “good guys” in these books lack basic normal human reactions. they all went through hell one way or another, harry constantly witnessing every last one of his family relations dying/growing up abused and hated/discovering he was raised literally to be slaughtered by the man he looked up to the most, ginny being possessed/forced to kill/almost murdered in tender age by the literal devil and whose trauma is never mentioned again, hermione having to erase the memories of her parents - you know, the list goes on and on. the one thing that all of them have in common tho, is their non-consequence to horror. and that’s wildly unhuman. aside from a little sadness, some stubborn dementors chasing bad memories and sporadic plot-serving nightmares, none of the heroes is really effected or damaged by what happens to them. when normal people would have spiritual crisis, ptsd, depression, manic episodes, you name it, jkr is feeding us the idea that really good, brave, strong, valuable people remain unaffected by trauma and that only the weak, wrong, damaged and therefore evil ones are. and i find it beyond disturbing.

paradoxically enough, voldemort is the only prominent example (probably along with snape and draco, but in a very different way) of “normal” human behavior when a child is exposed that much to trauma and abuse in tender age. jkr never really explains voldermort beyond her rhetorical “he’s wickedness personified” motto, yet the little characterization she gave him is entirely built around trauma - a trauma that she openly equates to evil. voldemort is a child born out of rape (there’s a metaphorical love potion and therefore he’s unable to love - leaving aside the idiocy of it, how sick is that? as if a child should carry the faults of his parents, as if all children born from rape were emotionally disabled or soon to be psychopaths! what exactly she wanted to prove with this point will forever be beyond me), a child abandoned to abuse and poverty in the middle of ww2, a child i’m sure shunned for his magical powers if not worse, a child without a single resource on the planet but himself, a child to whom no one, ever, not even later in the wizarding world, ever gave a helping hand or genuine affection (he was literally sent back to a world war because “no one can live in the school in the summer”, i mean!). of course he had to react to survive, of course all that left him scarred, because it didn’t leave him annihiliated! tom and harry share the condition of the orphan, but while harry was loved by his dead parents, glorified and rich and adored, voldemort was unwanted, discriminated against, bullied, poor and ignored. had dumbledore treated tom as he had treated harry (not that he treated harry that well if we really analyze it, but still), had his mother not abandoned him and died, jkr herself said lord voldemort would have probably never existed.

is this a correct way to stereotype human nature? is this a good message to give children? the only plausible human in there is the psychopathic super villain who is physically unable to love?

i like to think voldermort differently. i do think he could, of couse he could, actually love - as we all can if we allow ourselves to. he’s too complex, too intelligent, too whole as a character to lack anything, both for the good and for the bad. i like to think that maybe amortentia (aka the entirety of his early life experiences) left him dissociated and unable to *understand* his feelings in general and love in particular. maybe he didn’t dare to love anyone. maybe he dared once.

i like to think this way because the way jkr characterizes is nothing short of a disgrace.

the question people ask me the most is precisely this, if i think i’m giving voldemort much more depth than the author actually intended in the first place. my answer is always the same - yes, of course i do. voldemort is beautiful the way i imagine him, as a real plausible person, as a deeply flawed and multifaceted and scarred human being who turned to darkness in search for a home and a reason and that had ultimately found one, as terrible as it was. he certainly deserved more, from a literary point of view. yet i understand it was convenient and safe for jkr to only ever play with his godly, evil, black and white facade.