#and it gave me whiplash when i finally remembered

[lazaruspiss]

"Anti-Villain: Despite his very checkered past, and him being a genuinely unpleasant person in some aspects (such as his racism), Luke can be played as a sympathetic character who genuinely cares for Hannah, gets along with Rebecca, and does not commit any reprehensible deeds in-story." god i love tv tropes. like ok yeah ok i was trying to remember the word for "guy who sucks major ass that wormed his way into still being sympathetic"

[fangsandfeels]

I've seen the "Non-ascended Astarion ending is bad for him because you have to persuade him to reject the ritual" opinion...

..implying that he never really wanted not to ascend, it's you the player who selfishly forces him to give up on his goal. To prove their point, they state that you can get a good ending out of all other companion's quests without using Persuasion at all, except for Astarion.

And boy did I want to talk about this...

(In fact, everything I wanted to say has already been told in this amazing meta post, but I still gotta ramble)

First of all, Astarion was going through an intense PTSD. The game gave him a debuff to show how badly going back to the place of his torment was affecting him. Larian couldn't make it more obvious that he wasn't thinking clearly.

Second, there is one thing all abusers have in common: they destroy their victim's feelings of self-worth to the point, the victim no longer wants or knows how to ask for help or have relationships outside their abusive circle.

Who would want you like this? Look at yourself, you think you're better than me? You're nothing. Who would want to waste their time on you? You think somebody else would treat you better?

Since entering the Cazador's palace, Astarion is reliving his worst moments. Initially, he takes it in stride, hiding his discomfort underneath performative and emotional expressiveness. He talks about how he spent time in the bedrooms where he never did any sleeping, about the kennels where he was tortured, about the barracks where he was sent to when he "deserved neither carrot nor stick". Bad memories, but he shares them with Tav because he trusts them with his scars already. They might as well know the rest.

But after descending into the dungeon, Astarion starts spiraling into self-loathing at a break-neck speed. He used to think that all Cazador victims he ever brought to him were long gone, drained, and discarded. A horrible, undeserved death, yet the thought of them not having to suffer for too long was a small consolation, one of the threads holding his sanity together.

But then it turns out that they weren't dead. They were turned. Locked away deep underground, alone with their new selves, with the hunger and isolation. They did suffer. All these years, they suffered, buried in this tomb - because of him. Cazador may have turned them, but it was Astarion who brought them to him. And they remembered it. They recognized him. The monster who stole them from their home. The monster who ruined their life. Monster. Just like Cazador.

So, as if his PTSD wasn't enough, this revelation was another blow to his grip on himself, his perception of himself. His confident facade was shattering - and in his head, he was starting to think that Tav's idea of him, of who he is, was shattering as well. He tried to warn them before. He said he couldn't be what they saw in him. Whatever person they believed him to be had never existed - and Tav was finally coming to realize that as they walked through the gallery of his sins, looking his victims in the eyes and hearing out what they had to say. Of course, Tav hated him now. They had to. How could they not?

So, at the end, he is scared. Terrified. He bit off more than he could chew by walking into the manor and thinking he had only six fellow spawns to deal with. He saw their lives as a small price to pay because Cazador made sure to erase any solidarity between them. He made them torture each other and compete with each other. He twisted the very meaning of family bonds to his perverted liking, and he knew that by doing so, he would make sure every single one of them would get a whiplash from anyone trying to mention family in a positive connotation. Astarion takes no issue with getting rid of his "brothers" and "sisters" because he is fully aware that had the roles been reversed, they would have sacrificed him without a second thought. And he was certain that Tav would change their mind once they learned more about his brethren.

But the spawns in the dungeon...All the faces he remembered. All the lovers he lured. They did nothing wrong. They never hurt him. They never tortured him. Their only mistake was to trust him.

The revelation horrifies him. His first response is to be shocked, overwhelmed with emotion - and then he has to remind himself that sacrifices must be made. He feigns indifference. He tries to cover his internal conflict with gallows humor. But his flippant mask keeps slipping as he lapses from indifference to anger, to guilt, to begging Tav not to hate him as his greatest crimes glare back at him and claw at him, shouting out threats and seething with hatred.

He can't bear the thought of dealing with all the people whose lives he helped to destroy. He can't do anything for them. Just killing Cazador won't undo what he did to them. He will never be anything but a monster in their eyes. And this is what he deserves to be. He will always be reminded of what he is.

He has no choice but to do the Ritual.

He has no idea what will happen to him after he is done - he isn't a planner. He has never been. But at this point, he doesn't see his soul as something worthy of preserving - and by association, he extends that to other spawns. He knows it all too well because he remembers how it felt. He dissociates, projecting everything he hated about himself onto Cazador's victims, trying to rationalize why he should live and why they must die while he actively avoids the truth.

Completing the ritual is no longer about being free. Or protecting himself and his lover. It's about running away. Even when Astarion has Cazador at his mercy, he still thinks of running away. Getting lost forever. So nobody could ever hurt him.

A part of him even realizes that it means running away from Tav too. But Tav can leave, he naively thinks, not knowing the full consequences of the ritual. Tav will leave to find someone else, someone better, and he will start everything anew, a king of his castle.

So, of course, Tav has to reach out to him through that thick haze of fear, anger, and self-hatred. Persuasion isn't about strongarming someone into doing what you want. It's not subjugation or emotional blackmail. It's reasoning with someone. And that is exactly what Tav does - reasons with Astarion after watching him mentally struggle, after seeing his genuine shock and fear, after understanding that he isn't fully on board with the idea.

It's true, vampire spawns tend to gravitate toward power, especially if nothing is pulling them back. A vampire spawn is a feared and scorned creature - it no longer matters whether they were an unwilling victim, forcefully taken and turned. They are seen not as an individual but as the extension of their master - and the only natural transition for them is to get on the top of the food chain. The only way to make a name and become treated as something more.

Astarion saw power as the mean to safety and freedom, first and foremost. Ironically, he never planned beyond securing these two priorities. He never saw himself after accomplishing his goals, and it's kinda amazing how people can make conclusions about his hedonism because he misses petty vanities, wants to drink blood from a goblet, and sleep on silken sheets. The man who was held and tortured in the kennels, fed rats, and had to stitch and fix his only set of clothes over and over to keep it presentable, the man who has never felt happy for most of his conscious non-life is called hedonistic for wanting nice things. For still wanting to take care of himself for once.

He wasn't harboring any grand plans, conquests, or schemes. Even his idea of taking control of the Absolute was abstract and shapeless because he didn't care about getting control over the most influential people as much as he was afraid of breaking whatever protected him from Cazador's domination. He never really knew what to do with power aside from keeping Cazador and the likes of him at bay.

The way Astarion behaves in a relationship also speaks tons of how controlling he really is...or how he isn't controlling at all. When his romance with Tav transforms into something real, and he enters a new territory, Astarion is empowered to make decisions and think about what he wants instead of pleasuring others. It's clear that he and Tav don't have sex after they come clear about their feelings. Tav respects his comfort and boundaries, gives him all the time he needs, and lets him take the lead. Whether they will have sex again or not is entirely up to Astarion. Whatever he decides, it won't change Tav's feelings for him. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.

Astarion enjoys this new autonomy. He is playful, affectionate, outspoken...and afraid of messing everything up. If Tav mentions breaking up, Astarion thinks he is the problem. If there is another potential love interest showing they have eyes for Tav, Astarion encourages Tav to be with them because he believes they can give Tav everything he can't. When Tav says "I choose you," Astarion is taken aback, needing a moment to hide his genuine confusion at Tav actually wanting to be with him rather than Gale, Karlach, or Halsin.

For all his talks of control and dominating others, once Astarion finds himself with a lover who values his autonomy more than getting power at the cost of his dignity, who makes it safe for him to be honest, and who listens to him, he almost stops mentioning control. He merely lives in the moment, happy not to know, not to pretend, not to manipulate. Just to be.

What Astarion truly craves - not wants on a superficial level, not conditioned to want - is not to be a vampire lord. He wants the freedom to be anything. Anything he wants. Little does he know that true vampires rarely get to be anything they want, even if they gain the ability to walk in the sun -- we see it in his Ascended path as, instead of acting up on his supposed freedom to be anything, Astarion repeats Cazador's rules step by step. Just like Cazador did. Just like Verlioth did. He isn't anything he wants. He is the replica of his former master.

Astarion never had the luxury to explore who he wanted to be outside what Cazador made him. He only makes his first steps once he is free. We see glimpses of that deep-seated aspiration to be seen as a person. Treated like a person. Loved like a person. To be reflected in someone's eyes. He wants to know if there is someone beneath his usual mask, something his, not tainted by Cazador. Someone real. And at the same time, he dreads to know the answer. Because that part of him knows regret. Knows shame. Knows guilt. Confronting it posed the risk of realizing he didn't deserve love, kindness, or a future. What if real him truly doesn't amount to anything? What else for him to do?

So, he tells himself that he has no choice, and he expects Tav to affirm it -- not because he wants them to, but because he believes that Tav has seen enough to make the same conclusion. However, Tav objects, trying to be louder than all the inner demons hissing into his ears. Tav speaks to the Astarion, who asked them what they saw when they looked at him. The Astarion, who thanked them for standing by his side when he said "No" to Araj. The Astarion one who stood frozen in their hug before returning it tentatively. The Astarion who diligently, dedicatedly, caringly kept pulling himself together instead of letting himself unravel completely.

Tav reminds him that this Astarion, right here, right now, is worth fighting for. That he didn't survive all these years of torture, pain, humiliation, and dehumanization to give himself up now. He already has the power to avenge himself, avenge all Cazador's victims. He can end everything right here, right now - and this is the only power to free him. He has the power (and responsibility) of having a choice.

Tav empathizes with other spawns as victims not because they're more "innocent" than Astarion, but because associating with them doesn't brand Astarion as weak or broken. These spawns aren't horrible wretches, and neither is he. They don't deserve this, and neither did he.

The only one who deserves to die today is Cazador - the vampire, the monster, the pathetic piece of shit.

Astarion Ancunin deserves to live.

[yesimwriting]

ELLE IM HERE FOR JEALOUS FELIX IDEA WE WERE DISCUSSINF …

olive i made felix extra unhinged here just for you <3

----

“So…” The word is as small as it is hollow. You squeeze your hands together, attention settling on the way your skin strains against the tendons. So implies that the person speaking has somewhere to go, something to say. 

Felix stalls, halfway between his dorm’s entryway and his bed. A beat passes before he finally turns around. “So.” His feels a lot more definite. 

The nail of your left thumb presses into the cuticle of your right. “I uh–” The world is too hazy for this. If you had known the night wouldn’t end in its usual way, with you and Felix giggly and content in that drowsy way, you would have turned down that last shot. “If you’re upset, we can talk about it.” 

He continues forward, steps casual as he reaches the bed. Felix sits down with a soft sigh, the sound tired but not exactly irritated. “Upset?” He repeats gently, body shifting back to rest against a pillow. “Why would I be upset?” 

The genuineness of the question throws you. Felix didn’t seem to need someone to explain why he would be upset when he practically pulled you out of the bar. Felix didn’t seem confused when he barely gave you a second to say goodbye to a girl you met through your roommate. He didn’t stop to think about why he might be upset when he left without saying anything to any of his friends. 

All of this felt so worth mentioning when you were walking next to Felix on an empty sidewalk, eyes focused on making out cracks in the pavement to keep yourself from staring at him. “Because we got separated at the party, and–” 

You blink. You’re sorry–you know you’re sorry that Felix’s feelings were bruised, and you know that you could have been a little more intentional in the way you treated him after you started drinking. Felix always takes you into consideration, it doesn’t matter who he’s with or what state he’s in. You know there are things you feel bad about, and you remember the moment that you realized that Felix wasn’t by your side, but the details, the bulk of the night, are all blurred beyond distinction. 

Early on into the night, you recognized Dina, a girl from your roommate’s friend group. Then, she introduced you to Nick. He bought you and Dina drinks, and then dancing…the three of you, and then eventually just you and Nick. After that, all you have is brief snapshots, each murkier than the last. Asking for a glass of water at the bar, Nick progressively moving closer, a girl complimenting your outfit, more drinks, Nick and the warmth of his breath against your ear. 

You take a step forward. “And I wasn’t the nicest.” You force your arms to relax. Felix veering towards unexplainable tranquility is strange, but it isn’t worse than his anger. At the very least, it’s disorientating enough to feel better than straight forward anger. “We went out together and I didn’t–you’re always so good to me.” You frown, guilt prodding at your chest. “You–you check in on me, and you get me water, and you sit with me…” The words cram in on themselves, wedging themselves in your throat. Great, you’re trying to apologize and now you’re going to start crying, “Even when everyone wants to sit with you.”

“Lovie,” he whispers the nickname so calmly it briefly throws you. For a beat, you’re too confused to be upset. Felix takes advantage of the lapse, lifting a hand to pat the available space next to him.

You take a tentative step forward, and then another, again and again until you’re within reach of his bed. Before you can try to sit, Felix extends an arm, hand moving to rest against your hip. The sudden contact makes you still. His thumb shifts, brushing against the sliver of exposed skin between your skirt and top. 

Your general uncertainty is catching up with your whiplash from all the directions you’ve been pulled in tonight. He’s touching you so carefully. How can this be the same guy that grabbed your shoulder and barely thought to mutter a tense we’re going before walking away.

Without thinking, you lift your hand, pressing your palm against the back of his so that his hand has to lie flat against you. “I’m sorry.” 

Felix tilts his head back slightly, eyes finding yours. You’re not sure what he’s looking for, but he’s far from shy about it, taking in every detail of your expression openly. “I know.” It’s not exactly the proclamation of understanding and forgiveness you wanted, but it’s not a bad start. You take a partial step to the side, ready to sit down. Felix squeezes your hip, forcing you to still. “Sit with me?”

The phrasing is familiar enough for you to understand exactly what he’s asking. You nod once. Taking that as all the conformation he needs, Felix pulls back to give you the space needed to sit on his lap.

As soon as you’re settled, Felix’s hand finds your knee. There’s an affection in the way that his nails drag against your skin that has you easing. You’re still not completely sure on where you stand. Felix’s mood shifted so quickly, and you’ve yet to talk about what happened tonight, but this, his care and affection, is something you can trust. 

“I didn’t…” His voice is quiet, soft. That doesn’t mean they don’t feel startling. You lean into him, turning your head to watch him openly. “I didn’t like feeling away from you.” 

“I know,” the admission is quick, as if accepting the guilt fast enough will warp time and space and erase his hurt from existence. You place a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know what happened–I–I was really drunk and then I looked over and you–you weren’t there, and I couldn’t remember how long it had been since you were.” The explanation is awkward and wordy, but it’s the only way you can think to articulate anything, a testament to the alcohol still in your system. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt your feelings on purpose, right?” 

Felix pulls your hand off his shoulder. You frown until you feel his fingers find their place between yours. “Yeah,” he says, “I do know that.”

That’s something. You squeeze his hand, glad for the assurance of the contact. Your thumb brushes against his knuckles. Felix’s hand is now firmly settled against the space right above your knee. You’re on his lap. You’re not far from him. All of it should feel okay, should feel like enough. 

Slowly, you lift your other hand, setting your forearm against his shoulder as your fingers find his scalp. The softness of Felix’s hair is always a pleasant surprise. There’s a silkiness to the strands that feels enhanced. It feels like it should  be a result of expensive product, but Felix is so naturally lovely you wouldn’t be surprised if it was genetic.

He angles his head a fraction of an inch upwards to make it easier to look at you. He’s watching you with slightly parted lips. The little distance that’s left becomes a weight you’re incapable of supporting with no warning. You lean forward without thinking, lips meeting his. 

Felix reacts immediately, hand inching up your thigh. His teeth graze against your bottom lip with more pressure than you’re used to. With no warning, he shifts, lips brushing against the corner of your mouth. Felix continues at a pace that’s dizzying, a series of fluttery kisses against your cheek, your jaw, the start of your neck.

“Lex…” The shakiness of your voice makes the heat crawling up your chest burn a little warmer.

He briefly stills, forehead resting against your neck. “Lovie?” The only response you can manage is a distracted hum. Felix releases your hand in order to rest his palm near your shoulder. His thumb smooths circles against the base of your neck. “Have you ever had a hickey?”

The question is so absentminded and breathless you’re almost not sure if you’re meant to respond. Not that you’d know how to answer the question regardless. It’s not like you never went out before meeting Felix. You’ve had experiences, have kissed other guys, but you’re usually the type to push them off before drunken affection goes too far. 

Even though you’re alone with Felix, and you’re completely aware that he’d never actually judge you for the discrepancies between your levels of experience, it’s not an easy thing to admit. Especially when you think of all the times you’ve seen the start of maroon tinted marks peeking out from beneath the collar of his shirts. 

“Can give you one, if you want.” The offer is whispered so innocently, for a moment you think you must have misheard him. He presses another kiss against your skin. “So y’can see what it’s like.” 

When you don’t react fast enough, Felix places a chaste kiss against your collarbone. You force yourself to hold onto reality. “Lex,” you try again, voice doing its best to remain even. There should be a definite answer. You’re not sure what’s gotten into him tonight, and you know what the objectively correct answer is. This might be extremely casual to Felix, but you’re not as used to this kind of thing, and you’d never forgive yourself if you let something ruin your friendship. You’re trying to form the words, but you can’t get the rejection out. 

“If you want,” Felix starts again, leaving another kiss against your skin, “You can give me one after.” Another kiss. “That seems fair, yeah?” 

The offer catches your attention more than it should. You’ve seen marks littered all over his skin…and you’ve thought about them more than you would ever admit. Some concentrated, small, dark patches left there by teeth. Others more like a blend of ink blots, crawling up his skin, the edges a red that could just as easily be lipstick. Other people leaving evidence of their existence, of their closeness to Felix–your Felix.

Would it be such a bad thing to be that person just this once? 

You nod. “Yeah.” You’re still nodding when you feel his teeth graze against his skin. Your eyes shut on instinct. “Okay. That sounds–” You’re forced to cut yourself off with a sigh. “That sounds fair.” 

Felix grins against your skin. He’s more about it now, open mouthed kisses growing more urgent by the second. With each scrape of teeth against the sensitive spot at the base of your neck, there’s a soothing drag of his tongue against the irritated skin. The more time he spends on you, the harder it is to focus on anything that isn’t Felix. 

With a final trail of kisses down to your collarbone, Felix straightens. The loss of contact makes you pout. The reaction makes Felix grin as his fingers move to unbutton the top of his shirt. He leans forward, pressing a quick kiss against your lips. 

He releases his shirt, leaning back to give you more access. You lean forward before you can think, mouth brushing against the edge of his jaw. Felix’s hand finds the back of your head, holding you to him. You work your way down to the start of his neck, embracing everything that is him. His warmth; the smell of cologne, cigarettes, sweat, and something else that’s distinctly Felix; and the taste of skin. 

Your teeth press into his neck testingly. Felix sighs, the sound heavy and needy. His hold on you tightens, encouraging you to use your teeth more steadily. You give in, taking care to smooth your tongue against his skin after. You start the process over, repeating your ministrations over again and again until it’s hard to breathe right. 

You take your time pulling away, lips dragging against his skin before you finally rest your forehead against his shoulder. Felix’s hand drifts away from the back of your head, settling on your shoulder warmly. “That’s my girl.” The praise makes you grin. “You did so good, I’m almost jealous.” 

His good humor seems to constrict around that last part. You don’t fully get it, but you’re too content to question it. You lift your head enough to look him in the eye. “You know I only have eyes for you, darling.”

It’s an attempt at returning the joke, but the way his eyebrows pinch together make it feel like something else. That lingering angst seems to pass him by, because he leans forward, his lips brushing against your forehead. “Me, too, sweetheart.” 

You smile, letting your temple fall against his arm, completely content.

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny @lilyrachelcassidy @khxna @imbabycowboy

[snoopyana]

boys cry too.

“boys cry too, you called me & told me you never felt so low.”

he loves you so much. you’re always in the forefront of his mind, hoping you’re ok when he can’t be there to see for himself. but he was the least of your worries. what a shame.

park wonbin. toxic reader. angst. smut.

staring at his phone, disappointment was painted all over his face. knuckles growing white as he gripped the device. you had told him you’d be outside in ten minutes — so he drove over ten minutes earlier. but by now, forty had passed and there was a growing pain in his chest. heart heavy, wonbin looked at his ‘i’m here!’ message that sat on delivered. praying for it to switch to read in the blink of an eye. but it never did, at least not yet.

the streetlight that he decided to park under, purely for your convenience, started to flicker. body leaning into the leather seat of his car, the rumble of his engine filled the vechile. wonbin contemplated on leaving. even though he was originally over the moon to finally hangout with you, that excitement was slowly fading. being replaced with a sense of insecurity.

did you forget?

but he had all night to wait for you. so even if you remembered hours later, he would be quick to agree to another outing. you play with his heart, and he just waits until you’re done. there was times when he tried to tell himself that he was done being your last priority. lost in his thoughts, contemplating the what ifs. throwing his head back against the seat, his waterline started to sting. an obvious sign of the tears fighting to roll down his face. using the palms of his hands, wonbin aggressively rubbed his eyelids in an attempt to push back the tears.

but he failed.

he always failed. he always ended up crying by himself when you left him on delivered. when you forgot about the plans that you made. when you ignored him because you didn’t want to talk. it crushed his soul every single time. the tears leaving his face hot and his body shaken every time. but he knew you didn’t mean it, he knew that you were just busy. right? you were just busy because you would always contact him and apologize. promising that you wouldn’t forget next time.

a tapping on his passenger side window snapped him out of his thoughts, causing a halt to the mini pity party he was having. swiping away tears, wonbin unlocked his doors — allowing you to situate yourself into his car. there was a silence with his occasional sniffle. your eyes glued on the phone that illuminated your face. a few minutes would pass before you finally looked at him. but only for a second and no longer than a second.

“hey binnie.” the way you spoke in such a sweet tone nearly gave him whiplash. not seeing how you could so casually greet him as if you weren’t a whole hour behind schedule. greeting him without knowing that you were the reason he was so distraught a few moments ago. “sorry i took so long, i-“ but you were stopped.

“you forgot.”

his words caught you off guard. a scuff almost leaving your mouth when he cut you off, but thank god it got stuck in your throat. glancing over to the man, your eyes scanned his face. the way his cheeks were flushed, eyes puffy and bottom lip quivering, but he still managed to smile so softly at you. it almost made your heart ache. just almost. your eyes were trained on his trembling pupils — the way he looked so sad yet so happy to see you.

“you forgot, but it’s ok. i have all day for you to make time for me.” his voice cracking with every syllable that slipped past his lips. you did forget, but your pride wouldn’t let you say that. you couldn’t say that. so instead, you tripped to flip it. “what? of course i didn’t forget, of course i have time for you.” your snappy tone making his smile falter for just a split second. facing forward, his hands gripped onto the steering wheel. so what now? the air was thick, and he was hurt.

putting the vehicle into drive, wonbin tried to get ahold of his emotions as he drove. all while you shifted your attention back to the screen in your hands. connecting your phone to the cars bluetooth. boys cry too filled the empty space. as he drove around, the music was slowly drowned out by the ringing in his ears. becoming lost in his own mind while his body was on autopilot. pulling into a secluded park near the park.a place you two used to frequent, back when you cared.the music had long since been turned off as he turned off the car. leaning back into his seat, wonbins’ eyes found their way to your face.

they always did.

“did you really want to hang out with me today?” he still had that saddened expression on his face as he looked at you. picking at the skin around his fingers, waiting for an answer. waiting for anything. shifting in the seat, you managed to turn completely towards wonbin — shoving your phone into the pocket of your hoodie. “yeah, sure i lost track of time, but that doesn’t mean i didn’t wanna see you.” reaching over, you used the pads of your fingers to swipe away lingering tears on his face. he looked adorable, all worked up.

but he couldn’t seem to believe you, yet allowing your fingers to wipe and caress his face. “i hate your excuses, they hurt so much more than when you ignore me.” he tried so hard to keep a steady tone, cheeks heating up as he kept eye contact.

“do you want me to show you how much i love being around you?” before he could even answer, you were sliding yourself into his lap. reaching down to adjust his seat — making enough room for you both to sit comfortably in the small space. cupping his cheeks in both hands, your thumbs working circles on the skin that you couldn’t quite cover with your palms. leaning forward to plant small kisses on his forehead. humming into his skin when his hands found sanctuary on your thighs.

but don’t get it twisted, you were only doing this so he wouldn’t leave. so he felt loved, and wanted.

your kisses eventually found his lips, nipping at his bottom for entry — entry that he gladly gave to you. while your tongue roamed his mouth, one of your hands started its own adventure to his pants. single handedly unbuttoning the fabric. speaking against his lips, you instructed him to slip down his jeans. he was quick to follow, a whine leaving his throat when the cold air of his car hit the exposed flesh. you didn’t plan on fucking him in his car, just a quick handjob to keep him satisfied.

it’s truly a shame how pretty he was, letting all that beauty go to waste by being such a cling. that’s truly the only reason you never perused him. but you were so lucky that he loved you and adored you as much as he did — letting you do anything you wanted in exchange for the smallest sliver of your attention.

your lips attached themselves to his neck, one hand gripping onto his nape while the other slowly pumped his dick. gripping onto the sides of your hoodie, wonbin let his head fall back into the seat. but this time he wasn’t crying. strings of his moans and whines floating in the air while your hand set a painfully slow pace. gripping at his base before slowly sliding back up to his twitching tip. your thumb spreading around the precum that leaked from his slit.

he would make attempts to buck up into your enclosed fist. only to be forced back down by the weight of your body on his own. his head spinning at the damn-near torturous speed of your hand and your teeth bruising the pale skin of his neck. it was all too much as once, too much in general. broken pleas and cries for you to speed up.

so you finally did, he wanted it right?

the switch of pace had his body squirming underneath you, causing the vehicle to slightly rock side to side. thighs tightening, wonbin held onto you for dear life. if he wasn’t lightheaded before, he definitely was now. parted lips allowing for any and every sound to come from him. you could tell he was close, you knew him all too well. whispering praises just below his ear to push him to the edge. and it worked. it didn’t take much for more until he was releasing all over your hand and onto himself. repeating your name as if he would forget it later. resting your head onto his shoulder, you allowed for him to catch his breath.

but you didn’t stay long, wiping your hand onto his now cum-stained shirt. you opened the car door and stepped out, as your apartment was only a few blocks away from where you two were seated. leaving him without even a goodbye.

“it’s always me left to clean up all the mess.”

note- ok first, 3 fics in week? let me calm down before i get burnt out 😭😭 but i really wanted to write a subish wonbin and i was in the mean mood?? so my apologies for those who wanted a good end. heh. also i linked the song that this is loosely based off of, you just gotta find it! (it’s so easy to find but still)

[thezombieprostitute]

Imagine this:

accountant!reader x IT tech!Jensen x manager!Andy x CEO!Lloyd

The intent was to write something short and sweet but smutty. The result is approximately 2200 words with a ton of smut! I blame Lloyd.

Warnings: Power dynamics; Creepy boss; Smut, smut, SMUT! Minors DNI!!!!

“Thank you, Jake,” you half whisper, half moan into his ear. “I really needed this.” You’re not normally one for hookups in the supply closets but you’d had such a stressful day you really needed to let off some steam. Thankfully Jake was always happy to help you out. And he was very good at helping you feel good. 

The two of you had a friends-with-benefits situation that had been carefully negotiated and navigated. Sometimes you got the sense that Jake wanted more and that’s why he was so eager to please. But you were both quick to talk if either of you felt things were getting too serious. It definitely made office parties a lot more fun. Everyone else was enjoying the cheap food and you and Jake got to go to a private office and actually take your time together.

You both do try to be careful at the office but your manager, Andy, has been really ramping up the sad sack shtick with all the women in your department, desperate for a date or some feminine attention and pity. You could only take so much, especially when your coworkers pointed out to him that you’re single. Traitors. 

Every day he would ask you about your plans. You tried being polite and got nowhere. You finally told him, directly, that you weren’t interested in him last Friday. Today you were called into a meeting with HR about “appropriate workplace behavior”. They told you they’d received complaints from your manager about flirting with him despite him telling you “no”. You smiled tightly and nodded, staying quiet and signing the documents saying you’d been talked to. 

You texted Jake on your phone to meet you in the hall closet. One of the things you appreciated? He didn’t ask questions, he just showed up and gave you what you needed. He really seemed to like it when you would repeatedly whisper “thank you’s” into his ear. It’s only a quickie but it definitely helps. You kiss Jake’s cheek and thank him as he blushes. You leave at different times and head back to your respective desks.

 You check your email and find yourself looking at an appointment with Lloyd Hansen, the company’s CEO. Thinking it must’ve been in error you hit the “Decline” button and add the most polite note that you can think of. Just a few minutes after you get yet another appointment notice with Mr. Hansen. No explanatory note. You’re extra grateful to Jake because your brain immediately jumps to Andy complaining about you to Mr. Hansen because your HR visit wasn’t enough of a punishment. 

The appointment is for tomorrow so you silently stew for the rest of the workday. At home you treat yourself to your favorite meal and shows. Your sleep is full of stressful dreams and you wake up more exhausted than when you went to bed. Not wanting to look like a mess in front of Mr. Hansen, you make sure to take extra care of your makeup and clothing choices. Working as hard as your caffeine deprived can to balance “I’m okay” with “I’m not trying to flirt with anyone”. It’s never an easy task.

As you log on to your computer you smell Andy’s cologne and internally wince. You turn to face him, “yes, Mr. Barber?”

“Easy there, tiger,” he chastised. “I just want to make sure that you’re doing okay after that HR meeting.”

Gritting your teeth you reply, “why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well I know a lot of people can have a kind of whiplash when they realize their behavior isn’t acceptable,” he explains in an obviously condescending tone. “I’ll understand if you want to take some vacation time.”

“Mr. Barber,” you seethe, “I think what would help me the most is keeping some distance between us at all times in the office.”

“Okay,” he scoffs. “Just remember who it is that HR listens to.” He walks away and you find yourself trying to not throw or break something. 

As soon as you can you head straight to Mr. Hansen’s office. His secretary lets you in, though he is not yet in. You should probably be upset that he’s late for the meeting he insisted on having with you but it’s better than sitting in your cubicle waiting for Andy to strike. 

The quiet is broken by Mr. Hansen storming into the office, yelling at someone on the phone. You recognize him immediately if only because of the mustache. “And I told you to handle it, Six! Get your head out of your ass and fix it!” He lets out a small huff as he listens to the person on the phone. “I don’t give a shit. It should’ve been handled weeks ago. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a meeting.” He hangs up without waiting for a response and turns to you with a smile that makes you feel like prey caught in a trap.

“So you’re the girl Barber was complaining out,” he starts. You’re unable to hold back your grimace and he laughs. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I don’t give a shit about that cuck.” You tilt your head in confusion. “See, he tried to play up the whole “women don’t know how to take a compliment” thing but I was able to see through him. He’s pathetic and you weren’t having it. Even flat out told him, “no”. That’s something I respect. Not everyone would do that to their boss.”

He sits down in his chair and continues, “so I started looking into you and imagine my surprise when I find out you and Jensen are hooking up!” Your eyes widen in shock and you start stammering before he holds out a hand, gesturing for you to stop. “You’re not in trouble for that. Hell if I could get laid instead of attending those lame work parties I absolutely would. Which is why I brought you here.” 

He leans his elbows on the desk, “I want in on whatever fuck-buddy deal you and Jensen got going on.”

“S..sir, I,” you’re at a loss for words. 

“Tell you what,” he slaps the desk and stands up, “I’ll make it easy for you. Either you agree to be my own fuck-buddy, occasionally still get some good stuff from Jensen, or I’ll make you Barber’s personal secretary.”

“What if I quit instead?”

“Then I’ll go ahead and fire Jensen,” he quips. “It would be a damn shame, though. Jakey is one of the best IT guys we got. Likely up for a promotion that would get him a private office.”

“Can I talk to Jake first,” you plead. “It is part of our arrangement that we communicate changes before they’re implemented.”

“You know what, sure. I can respect that a deal is a deal.” He goes to the phone on his desk and tells his secretary to send Jake up.

When Jake does arrive he’s shocked to see you. At Lloyd’s gesture he closes the door behind him. Lloyd doesn’t let you speak and lays everything out for him like he did you. 

Jake looks at you, “it’s…umm…I appreciate you looking out for me and my job,” he starts. “But it’s also your body and I would never want you to accept something like this just for me.”

“You know, Jakey here has a point,” Lloyd interjects. “You really don’t know what you’re in for with me. How about a demonstration? I’ll even let Jake join in to help keep you comfortable.”

Knowing that you were being watched shouldn’t excite you so much. The fact that both of these men wanted you was making you wet. You straddle Jake in his chair and start making out with him while taking off your clothes and grinding your hips against his crotch. 

Jake moans as he takes off your bra with practiced ease, “you’re sure about this?” 

“Feel how wet I am, Jake.” He obliges and sticks his fingers inside your panties. He rubs your clit and you arch your breasts into his face as his eyes widen at the wetness he finds there. 

“Holy shit,” he breathes. He gets a dark glint in his eye that you don’t entirely recognize. He removes his hand and starts to unbutton your pants. “You gotta taste her, Mr. Hansen. Sweetest pussy and it’s already drenched.”

You hadn’t realized Lloyd was standing behind you until he grabbed your breasts, lifting you a little as he nibbled your neck. He pulls you off of Jake and the two of them finish undressing you before setting you on Lloyd’s desk. You’re on your back, your head hanging over one side, your legs spread wide for the both of them. 

Lloyd doesn’t hesitate and dives tongue first into your pussy. Your reaction is immediate as he uses his mustache to tickle your clit. You throw your head back and moan before you’re able to stifle it. 

He pulls away from you, “don’t worry about noise, sweetheart. My secretary is gone for the afternoon and no one else would dare be on this floor.” He turns to Jake, “you were right! This is a damn tasty snack.” He gets back to it and you don’t hold back your sounds. It was such a relief to get to be as loud as you wanted. 

“Fuck, I love those sounds,” Jake groans.

You reach out to him, “your cock, Jake? Please, can I stroke your cock?”

“Love those sounds, too,” he grins as he undoes his belt. You look to Lloyd to see if he has any objections but he’s too focused on licking up all of your juices. Jake is already half hard and your hands know just how to get him fully erect. His hands start playing with your tits, gently pinching, pulling and fondling. 

The two of them quickly bring you to the brink of orgasm, then Lloyd sticks two of his fingers inside you and it pushes you over the edge. You cum loudly and Lloyd keeps scissoring his fingers while sucking on your clit, enjoying the show. When the aftershocks fade, he removes his hand and backs away just a little.

“Jensen, you take her mouth,” he orders. “I’m gonna make a mess of this pussy and I want to hear her choking on your cock while I do.”

You let go of Jake’s erection and he starts pushing himself into your mouth, grunting and moaning as he does so. He’s careful with you, like always, and places your hand on his thigh so you can signal if it gets too much.

Lloyd, however, lines himself up with your opening and quickly thrusts himself fully inside. If your mouth wasn’t so full of Jake’s cock, you’d likely have screamed. They fucked both of your holes with abandon and you were loving every second of it. Occasionally Jake would ask for a status and you’d tap his thigh twice for “all good”. 

“Not gonna last much longer,” Lloyd admitted. “This pussy is so fucking tight. I see why you risked your job for her.” He started rubbing your clit and you careened towards another orgasm. As soon as Jake came in your mouth you were done for. You tightened your legs around Lloyd as you came hard and swallowed all of Jake’s spend. You heard Lloyd mumbling, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” before he came with a yell. 

You’re still in a daze as both men pull out of you. Lloyd whistles, “now that’s a pretty picture. What say we get you cleaned up?”

“What the fuck?!” A voice from the office door crashes your post-orgasm euphoria. You look up and see Andy, standing in the doorway.

“Ah, Barber,” Lloyd says as he zips his pants back up. “Right on time.”

“What?!” Jake exclaims as you look, wide-eyed, at Lloyd. 

“You see, Andy,” he walks over to your manager and claps him on the shoulder. “You’re a complete cuck and we both know it.” Andy tries to protest but Lloyd cuts him off. “This is the closest you’re ever going to get to some pussy. Now be a good boy and clean up the mess I made.” He throws Andy to his knees in front of your spread pussy. 

Andy groans at the sight and you feel a stir of courage. “Well,” you scold. “Are you going to be a good boy and do as you're told or am I going to have to clean myself up?” His eyes darken but you don’t back down. He dives into your cum filled pussy and starts cleaning you up.

“Good boy,” Lloyd smirks. “Probably the only way you can actually please a woman.” He looks at Jake, “whenever you’re done with her, call her cuck over to clean up. Sound good?”

Jake looks to you and sees you writhing with pleasure, “I think so.”

Part 1.5

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

[ihavethedreamies]

Birthday Surprise | Baekhyun

Byun Baekhyun - EXO

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~3.5k

Pairing: Baekhyun x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Fluff, Smut, Cute, Sweet

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Kissing, Bit of Swearing, Oral (F! Receiving), Fingering, Wall Sex, Unprotected Sex (Don't!)

Author's Note: This a story requested by/written for my friend @sadfragilegirl! I hadn't written something to post for EXO yet. It’s a little early for her actual birthday, but she didn't mind, so here is this as well~

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

Sighing again, you found your eyes drifting to your phone again. Tapping the screen, there were still no new notifications. You understood with the time difference and his busy schedule that your boyfriend didn't always have a second to spare and reply. You didn't take it personally; it just was hard when you missed him as much as you did. The first week of a tour was always the hardest, but then it would get easier. After time passed though, the harder and harder it would get again. At least with Baekhyun's solo career, he was gone for a shorter time than with the whole group. You also never kept close track of his tours, only what he would tell you. It was too difficult to watch the fancams others would post, because they got to be there and not you. You had to work yourself though and couldn't go with him.

Another sigh left your lips and you reluctantly went back to watching the show on the TV. You didn't even remember what you had put on initially, but it had changed. Your phone dinged and you nearly gave yourself whiplash looking at it, but your shoulders slumped. Your food was there. Grumbling, you got up from the couch, shuffling in your slippers to the door. When you opened the door, there was the food you ordered and you grabbed the bag, but there was something else too. A box was set next to your food, and it looked like it might have been there before. It was white with a red ribbon and a red envelope stuck to it. Picking it up with your other hand, it wasn't very heavy, you headed back inside. You hadn't ordered anything…

Setting the bag of food down on the dining table, you plucked the envelope off the box, a bit of the paper tearing from where it was taped on. Your name was on it, but that was it, no address, yours or otherwise. Pondering what the heck it could be, you gently tore the envelope open, pulling the card out. Your eyes widened, then stung a bit as tears sprung to your eyes. You recognized the handwriting immediately.

Hello, Sweetheart, I'm sorry I haven't been able to talk with you the way we both want, or as often. It's harder for me to leave you at home whenever I do, even more than it is for you, believe it or not. Everything I saw wherever I went that reminded me of you, I bought. I know your birthday is tomorrow, but you'll have to wait for the presents when you see me. I did prepare a surprise though. There is a dress in the box, please wear it and a driver will come to pick you up tomorrow night at 7 pm. I miss you, and happy early birthday. ~Love, Baekhyun

You sniffed, trying to hold the tears back, feeling foolish. Why did you want to cry so hard? You wondered though what the heck he had planned. Did he set up a party or something for you so you wouldn't notice his absence as much? Finally going to the box that came with the card, you opened it and removed the tissue paper inside to see the dress. A huff of surprise left your mouth, that did not look cheap. Flipping the tag over to see the brand, you were then for sure. It was a beautiful, light blue, bouffant-style dress, the fabric had a dull sparkle throughout and was made from a smooth silk. Of course it was just your size.

"Oh, Baek…" You sniffed again, holding the dress up to yourself, wondering what shoes you were going to wear.

"Are you (Y/N)?" The sharply dressed man standing by a very nice black car asked you. You nodded, and he opened the door for you. You smoothed your dress down when you got in, adjusting it as you sat to keep it looking nice. It hit you right at the knees and you paired it with a simple set of gold kitten-heels. You had curled and put your hair up and added some gold jewelry to finish off the look. The driver got back in the car and began to head in the direction of the fancy part of town. You fiddled with the strap of your bag, watching the buildings and lights pass. Maybe ten minutes later, the car pulled into the entrance of an extremely fancy hotel. You had guessed it was a party, but maybe it would be a meal in the restaurant?

"Have a Happy Birthday, Miss (Y/N)." The driver smiled, opening the door for you and you shyly thanked him, once again adjusting your dress as you entered the lobby.

"Are you Miss (Y/N)?" one of the hoteliers asked as the automatic doors slid closed behind you.

"Yes."

"Please, follow me." She smiled, motioning for you to do so, leading you to the elevators. You got in and she pulled a card out of the pocket of her vest, sliding it into the reader of the elevator, then pressed the button for the roof.

"Have a Happy Birthday, Miss (Y/N)." She smiled once again, and the elevator doors closed, heading straight up. You were feeling a bit overwhelmed with the glitz and glam of the night already. You knew that your boyfriend was an international celebrity and had been for years, granting him plenty of clout and capital, but this…

The elevator doors opened, a polished hallway leading to a set of glass doors, and presumable, the rooftop venue. You couldn't see anything pass the doors, not even lights, just those in the distance of nearby buildings. Tilting your head a bit in confusion, you walked forward, heels clicking on the floor. When you got to the door, you for some reason felt your heart surge. Resting your hand on the handle, you took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping out into the night breeze.

"Surprise!" You startled, only somewhat unprepared. The lights had come on, the pop of confetti poppers and loud cheering welcomed you. It was hard to hide your smile, seeing all of your and Baekhyun's friends.

"(Y/N)!" An extremely loud voice heralded the action before you registered it, then found yourself engulfed by a Chanyeol. You let out an 'oof' as he hugged you, you rocked back on your feet from the force of his hug.

"Let her go!" Kyungsoo huffed, hitting the other one on the back, who recoiled in an overdramatic fashion. You shot the smaller man a grateful look, but then they both looked behind them. You couldn't see over them, but when they moved-

"Baekhyun!" You beamed, tears once again hitting your eyes and he caught you when you dashed forward.

"Hi, sweetheart." He hugged you close and you heard various voices coo at the reunion, "Happy Birthday." He kissed your forehead when you finally pulled away, then scoffed.

"Hey, you'll ruin your mascara." He swiped his thumb over your cheek and you sniffed.

"I…I knew you had probably planned a party or something, but I didn't know you would be here too!" Your smile brought out his own and you hugged him again as he chuckled.

"Ah, what?!" He shouted suddenly and if you hadn't known him for as long as you did, the volume would have startled you. He turned to look behind him aggressively only to have Minseok whisper something in his ear after hitting him to get his attention.

"Oh, right." He calmed down and Baekhyun pulled away from you some.

"I did not time everything right, so we're going to eat now, then do the rest." Your boyfriend smiled, leading you over to the table set up in front of all the others.

"The rest?" you asked, sitting down in the seat he pulled out for you. He joined you and everyone else was sitting at their own respective tables. He pointed to the side at a table piled with gifts and you gaped.

"You guys!" You spoke loud enough, lacing fake annoyance in your tone and your guests laughed.

"Kyungsoo picked out the menu." Baekhyun told you, servers coming out with the food. It was all of your favorites and tasted amazing. When everyone was done with the meal and plates were cleared, another group of servers came out with a beautiful two-tier cake. The rested it gentle on the table in front of you and lit the candles before excusing themselves with a bow.

"Make a wish, sweetheart." Baekhyun wrapped his arm around your shoulder, kissing the crown of your head and you pressed your hands together, eyes closed. Let it be that I can stay happy with him, forever. You blew out the candles and everyone clapped and cheered and then the real part of the party began. Another set of chairs were at the gift table, so you moved over.

"Half of these are from you!" You sent a look to your boyfriend who chuckled a bit.

"So? Just start!" He brushed it off and you started. You got a lot of things like skincare, makeup, and other such toiletries. There were some stuffed animals, a few sets of earrings, a few nice perfumes and a tennis bracelet. Like you said, half of it literally was from him, several different countries were the origin of many. One of the boxes you opened, you slammed closed immediately, face heating. You sent him a side-glare and he seemed to realize what you had opened.

"Oh, uh, you can do that one later." He grabbed it from you, setting it on the pile and hoping no one noticed that it was purposefully hidden.

"It works with a phone app, from anywhere…" He whispered in your ear and you wanted to interrogate him further but decided to do it later. After the presents were opened and the cake cut, you finally got to eat it. Trying not to make a mess with the frosting, you enjoyed the champagne that was brought out as well. People were already dancing in the large open area in the middle of the rooftop venue, and when another nice, slow song started, Baekhyun grabbed your hand.

"I thought it would be weird if we danced to one of my songs." He whispered to you as he brought you to the dance floor. It was the second slow song, but you understood why he did that. While he literally danced for a living, you were not nearly as graceful nor practiced as him. You set your hand in his, the other on his shoulder, his other hand resting on your waist.

"Just, follow the rhythm." He coached as you danced, several of your other friends dancing with their significant others. You smiled as you passed Jongdae with his wife, somewhat envying what they had. That was something to think about later though.

"I think you got something on your-" Baekhyun brought your attention back to him and he smirked before quickly kissing the corner of your mouth and you scoffed.

"Geez." You couldn't help but smile, resting your head on his shoulder as you swayed. When the song faded to a close, you reluctantly pulled away from him, but his hand stayed linked with yours.

"Yeol!" He shouted, catching his friend's attention. He flashed an 'ok' gesture and Chanyeol sent a thumbs up back and you frowned a bit. What were they planning?

"Come with me." He looked like a kid in a candy store, a wide grin spread over his pretty face and you followed after him as he led you inside. Chanyeol had started something on the little stage set up for the band, everyone's attention focused there.

"I was going to wait till after, but I can't." Baekhyun told you, pulling you with him through the only door of the rooftop shelter other than the one outside or the elevator. It was a small staging room it seemed, there was mostly just extra tables and chairs. When you turned toward him to ask him what he was talking about, his lips captured yours, and your words slipped into a whine. Your back hit the wall by the door, hands flying up to his shoulders and up the nape of his neck into his hair. One of his arms wrapped around you, hand on the small of your back, the other on the wall to steady you both. You were glad you chose a lip stain rather than lipstick since none of it transferred over to him. You sighed and his tongue slipped into your mouth, his leg coming between yours, pressing his thigh against your covered mound. You moaned, letting him pull back from the kiss reluctantly. His lips kissed the corner of your mouth again, then down to your jaw, and further to your shoulder. The off-shoulder sleeves left plenty of skin open, so he took the chance and sank his teeth in slightly. You tried to hold back your moan, not sure how soundproof the room was, grinding down on his thigh between yours. It had been way to long, and the little points of contact through the night were not nearly enough.

"How am I going to get out of here?" You scolded lightly as he moved across your collarbone, having most likely already left three or four marks.

"You can use my coat." He offered quickly, barely pulling his lips off your skin to speak, also removing said item. Baekhyun rolled his sleeves up, lips finding yours again. When his task was done, you giggled as he lightly smoothed his hand up your thigh. His finger hooked over the hem of your panties, snapping the elastic. You squeaked slightly when he pressed into you, pinning you into the wall further, teeth nibbling your ear lobe, licking over the golden hoops you had in.

"You're already wet?" He gave a huff of smugness and you just hummed, exhaling in bliss when his fingers ran through your soaked folds.

"Baek-!" You were going to try and rationalize your state, but it was a moot point because your breath left when he sank his finger inside you. You were tighter than usual, not even having been able to get off yourself, you needed Baekhyun. The remote vibrator he bought you made more sense then. By the time he added his second finger, spreading them to get you ready, there were probably three more marks on your upper chest. Your little mewls were obviously getting to him, but the night was for you, not him. He stopped his fingers and you wanted to protest, but he was sinking to his knees.

"Oh." You whispered, letting him gently pull your panties down and over your feet, tucking them in his back pocket. You would have scolded him, but all words left as he buried his tongue inside your wanting pussy.

"Baek!" You shuddered, slumping further into the wall, hands on his shoulders to stabilize yourself. He tried not to laugh at your squeal as he hiked one of your thighs up and onto his shoulder to get you open more for him. His tongue left your core, flicking at your clit, two fingers finding home inside you again. Your walls fluttered around the digits and he could tell you were close. With one more crook of his fingers, and kiss to your clit, you came and he helped you ride it, eagerly lapping at your essence flowing down his hand. By the time the waves of your orgasm faded, you were shaking and he smirked, standing while licking off his fingers. You noticed his hardened cock straining against his dress pants, fingers finding the zipper.

"Wait-"

"Can't. Do it better later." You insisted and he wasn't going to argue. Just as soon as you freed him, the head of his cock was at your entrance and he pushed in. Your gummy walls pulsed around him; the stretch stung from you going to so long without him. The same leg he had over his shoulder he held up over his elbow and you were so glad you were flexible. His thrusts were shallow and hard, trying to get to the crest for both of you fast so he could get you back to the hotel room and fuck you properly.

"Shit, Baekhyun." Your breath came out in pants, trying to stay quiet, but it was hard. Your peak was getting close again, your tight core around his cock felt like heaven, so he was close too.

"Come on, sweetheart. Cum for me." His sweet voice in your ear was all it took and he had to still as you came. He let go as well, the squeeze too good. Catching your breath, you startled when someone knocked on the door hard. Baekhyun must have taken it as a signal for something, because he got himself fixed up and let you have his suit jacket to cover your shoulders. In the low light he could see the rising deep red and purple welts, a few with light teeth marks.

"Okay, lets go."

"What-?"

"Yeol got everyone distracted, so now you don't feel good, so we're leaving!" He grinned like a goof and you scoffed, shuffling after him to the elevator. Chanyeol seemed to be guarding the door, back to you, and you giggled as the lift doors closed. Your boyfriend looked at you, his hair a bit messy and you both laughed. He still had your panties in his pocket… When the elevator got to the floor for the room he booked, you slipped out, slinking past a group of what looked like college guys walking down the hall. You held his jacket over you tighter, following Baekhyun as he led you. When he had gotten you into the hotel suite, your giggles turned into a full laugh, and he couldn’t help but join.

"Come on, sweetheart. The bed is all ready…"

After unwrapping you like you were a present, he sat behind you on the bed, leading you to rest your back to his chest.

"What are we doing?" You asked, letting his hands on your hips guide you. He sat on his knees, having you straddle his lap and he sank lower as you settled on him, cock filling you back up. Sighing at the feeling of him inside you again, he kissed over your shoulders again, sucking another mark at the base of your ear. Resting your head on his shoulder, his hands guided you to grind down onto him, the angle had the head of his cock right in the best spot, rubbing and pressing you into a tizzy. You wondered why it felt so much more intense than normal, more intimate.

"You looked so beautiful tonight. I knew the dress was perfect." His voice, low and soft in your ear seemed to vibrate over you and your hips stuttered through the rhythm you both had set. Baekhyun leaned back a bit more, you followed since you were resting on him, and the shift let him slide in even deeper and you gasped at the rapidly rising pleasure.

"I loved hearing you laugh in person, being able to hold you." One of his hands slid up over your stomach, cupping your breast.

"Feel your soft skin, kiss you, taste you…" You whimpered, his hips shifting to meet yours, thrusting up to meet your rolling hips.

"Wanna see you…" You whined and he hummed, smirking.

"Okay, sweetheart." While you were not pleased that he pulled out, you were quickly filled back up when your back hit the bed. His hands wrapped around yours when they went to cup his jaw, mouth meeting yours again. Linking your fingers, he pinned your hands up by your head with his, pulling back just enough so your lips still brush slightly. You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist, and he snapped his hips hard, picking the pace up immediately. You couldn't hold back your moans, writhing in pleasure under him, the bed frame groaning from the force. You wanted to touch him too, but his hands on yours prevented it. He smirked against your lips, switching to using his one hand to hold both your wrists in place. The free hand gripped your thigh, shifting your leg up higher so he could get even deeper inside of you. It was hard for you to get out anything intelligible other than his name and your orgasm was rising faster than you anticipated.

"God, you're so beautiful. I love you so much, (Y/N)." His pace was stuttering, the vice of your core sending him closer to the edge as well.

"Love you too~" You managed to get out and your voice crested into a high moan as you fell over the edge. He groaned himself, spilling inside, filling you with warmth and swallowing your noises with a sealing kiss.

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart." Baekhyun smiled warmly and you giggled tiredly.

"You really didn't have to do so much…" You pouted playfully and he hummed, shaking his head.

"I did. I love you, and whenever I'm gone for so long, so far away, you're all I think about. I honestly wish I would have done more.”

Master-Master List

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 13

Part 12

Steve didn’t realize how hard he was gripping the door handle, how stiff he’d gotten, how he had stopped breathing until the ghost of his past spoke.

“Hey there, pretty boy.”

He nearly choked on the intake of air. Billy was here. Actually here, out of the blue. Steve swallowed and found his voice.

“What’re you doing here?”, he asked, keeping his voice low.

Billy just smiled at him, smug like he knew he was flipping Steve’s world upside down. “I can’t visit my family?”

“We’re not-”

“Hey! There’s my tiger!”, Billy pushed past Steve, forcing him to turn and see Shawn sitting on the stairs, eavesdropping. 

Steve tried to reason and be rational. Billy had never outright hurt their son. There was no issue with him picking him up and hugging him close. Even if it made Steve’s skin crawl. Shawn gave his father a hesitant squeeze back, caught off guard by the sudden visit too. 

“I’ll ask you again Billy”, Steve said the moment Shawn was put back down on his feet. “Why are you here?”

Billy stuck his hands in the pockets of his jacket, then pulled something out. “Came to give my boy his birthday present.” He handed him a toy car, still in the packaging.

Shawn accepted, giving a small thank you. Steve remembered the way his body used to tense up or go into autopilot when his parents fought. He couldn’t do that anymore. He had to be present and protect his child so that he didn’t develop those habits. He walked over and put a hand on Shawn’s head. 

“You brushed your teeth right?”

Shawn nodded, then smiled big to show off his pearly whites. Steve smiled back, feeling lighter already.

“Go on to your room then, it’s past your bedtime. And don’t even think about sneaking in reading time”, he called after him as he scurried up the stairs. He waited until he heard the sound of Shawn’s door closing but he didn’t take his eyes off of Billy. He was watching his expressions. 

He had been watching Shawn go up the stairs and seemed to be waiting as well before his smile dropped. He went to the front door and for a moment, Steve had the hope that he would walk right through it and save him the grief. But Billy only shut it.

“His birthday was a week ago”, Steve said, arms crossed.

“I knew you were gonna give me shit for not getting the exact day”, Billy said, like he was a victim. “Cut me some slack, alright?”

Steve didn’t have to tell him that this wasn’t the first birthday he had missed, even when they had lived together. He wasn’t going to give him a whole laundry list of issues. He shouldn’t have to. Billy should know why he can’t just show up unannounced after two years of silence.

“I’m gonna remind you that you walked out. You left us. And we’ve been fine. You can’t just show up out of nowhere.”

“Why the fuck do you smell like another alpha?”, Billy growled.

Steve only faltered for a second but it was enough to make Billy advance on him and in two seconds they were toe to toe.

“And why the fuck does my pup smell like another alpha?”

The growl in his voice was enough to make him take a step back and Billy replaced it with one of his own, not letting Steve put any distance between them. He hated how much power this man had over him. He wanted to make him happy. He wanted to be loved by him. Now all he wanted to be as far from him as possible.

Where was Eddie? His real alpha?

“I don’t see a ring on this finger or a bite on my neck, so where do you get the idea that I’m yours?” Steve had this. He didn’t need Eddie before and he didn’t need him now. Whatever Billy dished out, he could take it.

Billy’s eyes glanced up the stairs. “I wonder if CPS would take issue with that.”

“Excuse me?”, Steve got whiplash so bad his head hurt. “What the hell are you-”

“An unbonded omega, parading a bunch of alphas around a vulnerable child? Sounds pretty irresponsible to me. And his stench is all over this place”, Billy scowled.

The accusations and assumptions and just everything had finally piled on enough. Steve saw red. He shoved Billy back. Hard.

“How dare you?”, he hissed. “How fucking dare you?”

“Watch yourself”, Billy said, grabbing Steve’s wrists in a bruising grip. “I left because I thought you needed some time to get yourself together. Getting knocked up made you this desperate, clingy thing. I thought you’d be better by now but it’s like you’ve gotten worse.”

Steve tore his hands away but that just freed Billy to push him back by the shoulders into a wall. All Steve was thinking of how loud the bump was. Did Shawn hear it?

“You should be glad. Isn’t this what you wanted? You, me, the kid?” Billy’s eyes softened the way he knew Steve was weak to. The look that made him appear as though he was changing because he wanted to be the father to Shawn that he never had.

But Steve wasn’t weak to it anymore. He didn’t know why Billy was back but he wasn’t letting him back in his life.

“Get out of my house. Before I call the police.”

Billy took his hands off then, held in the air like in surrender but with an expression that said otherwise. He even took a step back. His hands went back down into his pockets, casual and relaxed.

“You’ve always been like this. You don’t know what you want. One minute you want me, the next you threaten to call the cops on me.”

“Out”, Steve said, voice hardened as he pointed at the door.

Billy walked backwards towards it. “I’ll be around. It’s gotta be spring break for Shawn soon, right? Picnics, parks, concerts. And then summer. Bet he can’t wait.”

He opened the door and walked out and Steve didn’t wait even a second before locking it. He let out a breath as he listened. He could hear a car door close and then the vehicle drive away. He went to the window to check and it went down the road, disappearing into the night. 

Steve put a hand to his chest and his hands shook. He brought his shirt up to his nose and took a deep breath. His love, his alpha. Eddie.

He went upstairs and knocked on Shawn’s door. When he heard nothing, he hoped he was asleep, but had to check. Quietly, he opened the door, not wanting to wake him if he was. Shawn’s covers were pulled up high, only his eyes uncovered, like he was scared to be found but also wanted to see. Steve came in and turned the lamp on, giving the room a gentle glow.

“Hey bud.”

“Is he going to come and live with us again?” Shawn’s voice was small and whispery.

Steve put their foreheads together and stroked his hair. He hated that Billy had this effect on them. He kissed Shawn’s forehead.

“No, he’s not. Even if I have to tie him to a rocket and send him to space”, Steve said, trying to lighten the mood in the room.

Shawn’s hold on his blanket relaxed a little. The book they’d been reading was on the floor. Steve picked it up and put it on the shelf. He knew he was too anxious to get to sleep and that was probably true for Shawn too. 

“How about a midnight snack?”

Shawn’s reply was to throw the covers off and hop out of bed. “Is it a midnight snack when it’s not even midnight yet?”, he asked, taking his daddy’s hand as they walked out of his room.

“I think it counts”, Steve said.

When they got to the kitchen, Shawn sat at the table while Steve got some things from the pantry. Tonight seemed a good night for some hot milk with honey. Maybe some cinnamon and vanilla too. 

“You NEVER let me stay up on a school night”, Shawn said, a little in awe. 

“Well they’re also school nights for me”, Steve smiled as he turned the stove on. “And I can’t be late either.”

Steve stirred the pot, making a serving for them both and pouring it into two mugs. He came over to the table, bringing some cookies for them to dunk too. They sat and snacked, talking mostly about nothing. When they finished, Steve could tell his son wasn’t all that tired still, so they moved to the living room and turned on the tv. Steve gave him a choice between animals, oceans, or space and Shawn chose animals.

In silence, they watched and learned about different organisms that lived in the Arctic tundras. Steve felt his pup yawn next to him and knew he was down for the count. He gathered him in his arms and turned the tv off. As he was settled into bed, Shawn rubbed his eyes. 

“Daddy?”

“Hm?”

“I kinda want Mr. Eddie to be my dad too. Instead of him.”

Steve didn’t know how it was possible for his heart to feel light and heavy at the same time. He sat on the edge of the bed.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He waited for his pup to nod before continuing. “I think he’d be a great father.”

Even if Eddie hadn’t been there for Shawn’s birth, something he already had on Billy, Eddie had more than proven himself as capable around children. Not just as a teacher but as…well, a father too. He kissed Shawn’s forehead and then got up to go to his own room. His hand itched to grab his phone and call.

He sent a text to Robin without hesitation. She’d been there during the last couple of years of his time with Billy. She knew what his sudden appearance would mean. He was hesitant to tell Eddie though. Things had been going so great between them. Would this throw a wrench in things? Would he decide that Steve wasn’t worth the trouble? What would that do to Shawn?

Steve took a breath and put his phone down. It was too late to get worked up after coming down with Shawn. His son was right, they both had school tomorrow. He contemplated a mental health day for them both, he hadn’t taken off a single day this year, so he had some available. He’d let Shawn decide in the morning.

For now, he got into the bed and let sleep take him.

Part 14

Taglist

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

@hippieg1rl420 @spectrum-spectre @a-lovely-craziness

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2024 Day 15

One Year after AOTD

Back with more Kloktober posting!

It’s been over a year since AOTD came out and I like to believe things got better for the boys after they helped saving the world, so…here’s something about that. 🌟

“Just ones more! Just ones!” Toki insisted with a smile.

“Dats what you said de last times.” Skwisgaar feigned exasperation, but he looked just as happy. 

“This time ams forreals.” Toki bit his bottom lip, glancing at Skwisgaar’s mouth. “Ams promise.”

Skwisgaar wrapped a hand around Toki’s waist, bringing him closer. “Dats so?”

Toki nodded, but he also probably would’ve nodded at anything by this point. 

“Comes here.” Skwisgaar whispered and they smooched each other loudly. 

“Wowee…” Toki was left in a daze once they broke it off. “Okays, just ones more!”

Skwisgaar cackled, lovingly looking into Toki’s eyes. “I thoughts you hads promiseds.”

Pursing his lips, Toki gave Skwisgaar a wet puppy look. “Buts…”

“Buts nothing you littol trickers…”

“Oh, Skwisgaar!” Tok whined, his expression turning miserable at once. He turned away, sadly. “You ams so means…”

“Eugh, I ams means?” Skwisgaar chuckled.

“Ja…” Toki was completely brat mode, pouting and frowning. “You ams means and donts lets Toki be happies…”

“I donts-” Skwisgaar repressed a laugh, though when Toki didn’t react, he grabbed him by the chin and turned his face towards him. “Heys, heys…”

Toki refused to meet his gaze. “Means Skwisgaar.” He mumbled.

“Comes on…” Skwisgaar was trying his best not to smile, failing considerably. “Tokes, looks at me…” When Toki finally did, Skwisgaar let out a soft chuckle. “Donts be sads…” Then, he leaned in and-

“Ye guys know we’re still here, right?” Pickles interrupted in disbelief., sitting several feet away from them on the couch. They were in the movie room.

With puckered lips, Skwisgaar and Toki turned to their bandmates. While Toki seemed mostly confused, Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow at them. “Ja, so?” To emphasize his indifference, he put an arm around Toki’s shoulder. 

“Well, don’t do that in front of usch!” Murderface complained.

“And why the fucks not?” Far from the spoiled attitude from earlier, Toki had switched to full aggressive mode. “You guys can do whatever you wants too!”

“Yeah, but…” Nathan intervened, visibly feeling awkward. “You guys are being so…r…romantic…” He said, like the word was hard to pronounce. 

“Nethans, you weres all over the Trinity girls back dens!” Skwisgaar said, grimacing. “Makings us witness yous slobber, eugh, disgustingks…” He shook his head in disgust. 

“Uh, her name was Trindle-”

“That’s what ye two are doin’ now!” Pickles pointed an accusatory finger. 

“Oh, whats? I didnts know I was cheatings on Skwisgaar and tryings to explodes him and kills mine self!” 

“Heugheugh, so you ams the hypers fans whats cants helps but wants more of mes?” Skwisgaar asked Toki, already over the discussion.

Toki smiled innocently, batting his eyelashes at Skwisgaar. “Wells, you knows…”

They started whispering sweet nothings to each other again, like the other 3 weren’t watching the whole exchange. 

“Ye know what, just play the next movie.” Pickles rolled his eyes.

Nathan grabbed the remote control, browsing through the Dethflix catalogue. “Uh, Whiplash?”

“Looks Skwisgaar!” Toki turned to the screen. “It ams dat ones roms and coms!”

“Whet?” Pickles squinted at the couple. “Dats nots-“

“Euh, I remembers dat!”

“Well, I don’t wanna watsch no schtupid romansche movie!” 

“It’s not a-”

“Yeah, we have enough of that right here.”

“Whats ams dat supposeds to means?”

“It’s not about t’at at all!” Pickles took the remote from Nathan and pressed the play button. “Just shaht up and watch it!” 

He felt proud when the whole band settled in quietly and watched the screen. Well, not for long because Skwisgaar and Toki resumed their chattering soon enough. Clicking his tongue, Pickles glanced at his phone to see the time, though the date distracted him. Why did it feel oddly familiar? 

Oh.

Pickles rested his back against the couch, overwhelmed by the sudden memory. A year ago they saved the world, almost losing their lives in the process. A year ago they survived the Metalocalypse while millions perished. A year ago their fans came to their rescue and, together, they could defeat Salacia. 

Somehow, it felt like an entire lifetime had gone ever since and Pickles would like very much for it to stay that way. He didn’t miss feeling responsible for everyone or having to fight constant panic attacks because the end of the world was coming. He just wanted to be Pickles.

It did have consequences on them, however. Nathan was definitely more considerate now and Murderface was opening up more rather than being defensive all the time. And Skwisgaar and Toki…well, whatever that was. 

In all seriousness, Pickles didn’t know what was weirder, that they defeated a gigantic whale that wanted to bring doom to Earth or that Toki and Skwisgaar were all over each other like a couple of teenagers experiencing love for the first time. He would’ve never imagined there would be a future where he’d miss their stupid fights. Well, they still argued, but it wasn’t the same knowing the reconciliation would have them sloppily making out on the kitchen’s counter or something equally off-putting.

Himself? He was fine. He still liked to do drugs and get drunk, they just weren’t his primary reason to live anymore. And that was a good thing, probably. 

“Murderface, don’t keep all the popcorn for yourself.” Nathan whispered, though it was loud enough that everyone heard it.

“I’m not!”

“Heys, I wants some popcorns too!” Toki complained, though he kept both arms wrapped around Skwisgaar. 

“Heugheugh,I gots some pops corns for yous down heres…” Skwisgaar offered.

There was some rustling and Toki gasped. “Haha! It really ams corns shapes!”

“And it shores ams gonna pops, heugh-”

They all groaned and Nathan took the remote back, turning up the volume and filling the atmosphere with the sound of drums. “Just try not to fuck while we’re in the room, okay?” He yelled over the racket.

“Whats?!” The guitarists asked in unison, their hands on their ears.

“I said don’t fuck in the room!”

Toki and Skwisgaar looked at each other, then back at Nathan. “Whats?!”

“I said-” Nathan was about to yell again but he changed his mind mid-sentence. “Nevermind.” Pickles snorted and Nathan turned towards him. “What?”

“Nothin’.” Pickles shook his head, trying to pay attention to the movie. 

He had a far more important reason to live now. 

[overtrred28]

Stargirl | matildas x original character fic [part nineteen]

Words; 3.2k

Pairings; matildas team x astrid taylor (OC)

Warnings; mentions of death (parental), mentions of car accident, mention of drink driving, mention of panic attack, swearing

A/N; I wrote the idea for the second half of the chapter like 6 months ago and this is the timing I planned before writing the first half, so I' m sorry for the emotional whiplash this chapter is about to cause you. Please read with caution if you think any part of this may trigger you and be safe. Enjoy my loves 🫶

masterlist

Astrid had gotten into bed approximately two hours ago after finishing their team dinner, deciding to call it and all head up to bed. When she entered the room she was exhausted from the game and celebrating their win, but dragged herself into the bathroom for her night routine before finally flopping into bed.

But as soon as her head hit the pillow her eyes were wide open. She was so tired physically, but her mind was up and busy. No matter how hard she tried, after the first thirty minutes she gave in and decided to let it run. Thoughts began racing through her about tonight's game, seeing her family again, how she felt when Kyra hugged her after her goal and eventually she ended up back at New Years Eve.

Astrid might have been quite drunk that night, but there wasn’t a single second she couldn’t recall, especially their kiss. That kiss played in the back of her mind every time she looked at Kyra, no matter how hard she tried to push it back. Often lying awake at night after club training because of how many times they had caught one another staring before looking away as if they hadn’t been. 

She still wondered if Kyra remembered the kiss or not, never daring to ask her in the case of embarrassing herself because Kyra had no clue or didn’t want to remember it. Her feelings towards Kyra were so confusing for her brain; she was her best friend, just like Charli or Courtney. But she couldn’t deny the way her fingers tingle when Kyra laces them with her own, or the blush that begins to spread across her cheeks when Kyra compliments her. 

The thoughts continued to spiral as she laid there in the darkness. She couldn’t go on like this. So with a frustrated groan, she sat up and grabbed her phone, turning on the bedside lamp and opening Kyra’s messages. 

Starry ⭐

are you awake?

Ky ky 🪁

no 

Starry ⭐

fuck off

Ky Ky 🪁

whats up? u ok?

Starry ⭐

…

Astrid kept writing something but deleting it, unsure of what to actually say now that she had gotten Kyra’s attention. 

Kyra sat in her room a couple doors down, a similar positioning to Astrid but nervously watching as the dreaded three dots kept appearing then disappearing. So without hesitation she threw the covers off, slid on her shoes and quietly slipped from her room, making her way down the hall. 

Tap tap tap

Astrid’s head whipped up at the noise, not expecting someone to be at her door at 1:34am, dropping her phone with another half finished text and scurrying to the door. Two seconds of looking through the peephole and her door was swinging open and she had her grip on Kyra’s arm instantly. 

“The hell are you doing?” Astrid sighed as she dragged Kyra in, checking the empty hallway before shutting her door quietly. 

“Can’t sleep either?” Kyra asks as she sits down on the edge of the bed, Astrid now standing in front of her, walking softly back and forth.

“No. Thinking too much.” Astrid mumbles the end, avoiding eye contact with Kyra as she paces. 

“About what?” Kyra’s been thinking about that night just as much, wondering what it means or could mean. Astrid slows her pacing, stopping silently in front of Kyra, looking to the floor as she thinks of how to word it.

“Do you remember?” Asks timidly, looking up at the midfielder, trying to read her expression.

“Remember what?” Kyra tries to hide her smirk as she teases Astrid. 

“Don’t fuck with me okay.” Astrid is clearly stressed out of this, the biting of her nails increasing over the past two months, especially right now. Kyra is quiet for a moment.

“Every day.” It’s quick and quiet, Astrid barely hears the two words, eyes widening as she processes it. Kyra looks up with a small smile.

“Every day?” Astrid looks at Kyra with hope in her eyes, heart racing with anticipation.  

“I’ve thought about it every second since.” Kyra now mumbles, standing up to meet Astrid, stepping close to her. 

“Good.” Astrid smirked as she held Kyra’s hands in hers, both meeting each other's eyes. 

Time almost stopped as they stood there, almost slow motion as their heads moved closer together. Kyra finally took the reins and closed the gap, moving her hands to Astrid’s waist and pulling her closer. Astrid melted into the kiss, hands travelling up to hold Kyra’s face and keep the kiss going. 

It lasted longer than their first, but it was more meaningful as they stood in Astrid’s hotel room, holding onto each other as if they were afraid to let go. They broke apart when they needed air, pushing their foreheads together as they took time to breathe. It wasn’t long before Astrid’s brain began running again. 

“Kyra…” She paused, lifting her head to look at her. “What does this mean?” Worried about losing their friendship as if that could ever happen.

“I don’t know. Whatever we want?” Kyra suggests, causing them both to giggle. 

“Go back to your room idiot.” Astrid gently pushed Kyra’s shoulder with a smile. “I might actually be able to sleep now.” She laughed and Kyra raised a brow. 

“Was it that boring huh?” Kyra snickered, folding her arms over her chest. 

“I mean… it wasn’t the worst kiss I’ve had.” Astrid smirked, stepping closer. “I guess you might just have to try again, see if it’s any better.” She cocked her head to the side, expecting Kyra to come closer again. 

“Sorry,” Kyra stepped back to the door, fake yawning with a stretch. “Too tired.” She blew Astrid a kiss as she shut the door quietly, leaving Astrid shaking her head with smile and a blush on her cheeks. Safe to say she had no trouble falling asleep when her head hit the pillow this time. 

Over the next few days at camp, Astrid and Kyra seemed back to how they were before the new years kiss, practically attached at the hip and annoying their other teammates. But even with all their playing around, their minds were focused on preparing for the Spain game that was now tomorrow.  

The bus pulled up to the CommBank Stadium for their final day of training and it was like Astrid had an instant mood change, switching into focus mode as she remembered the last time up against the Spanish side. 

Astrid was determined to not let what happened last time happen again, especially now they had their full team and she personally had more experience in the Matildas squad. 

All the other girls noticed her mood change that always appeared at their final training session before a match, minimising her laughter and childlike actions and replacing them with quiet, focused actions and determination. Even separating herself from Kyra, Charli or Courtney to pair up with a new partner, today that being Clare Hunt. 

Astrid was still quiet when working with Clare for those few minutes, focusing more on her footwork being precise rather than the topics of conversation floating around them. Clare tried a few times to loosen her up, but nothing could get through to her. Her mind was set on improving any more than she could and preventing what happened last year in Spain. 

It was in the practice matches that her determination and focus was evident to everyone watching, her feet were fast, her passes clean as ever and even slotted 5 goals past Macca from various positions.

“Nice work today, Chicken.” Steph had run up behind Astrid who was the last to leave the pitch, pulling an arm around her shoulder and walking in step with her. “Clearly ready to smash Spain huh?” Steph chuckled, rubbing her hand over Astrid’s arm.

“Thanks. Don’t want a repeat of last year.” Astrid mumbled the end and Steph could sense she was still in her head. 

“Well I think that’s out of the question considering how we looked today, as a team.” Steph emphasised the word team, knowing Astrid sometimes needed a reminder that not everything was up to her. 

“Yeah. Thanks Stephy.” Astrid pulled an arm around the older girl's waist as they continued walking back to the changeroom, letting go once she spotted Kyra, sitting next to her while untying her boots. 

“Sit with me on the bus?” Kyra asked as she bumped Astrid’s shoulder, causing her to look up from her boots. 

“Of course.” Astrid smiled back, Kyra nodded and continued to pack everything up, waiting for Astrid to finish up and walk out together. They were the last on the bus meaning the seats up the front but they didn’t mind. Normally they would be singing out and dancing in their seats, bothering everyone else. But today they sat in silence, sitting next to each other with separate playlists and enjoying one another's company. 

After a few minutes Astrid kept her gaze away, slowly moving her hand, inching it closer to the gap between them and where Kyra’s hand rested, the brunette distractedly looking out the window. Her attention was called back when she felt that familiar tingle as Astrid’s fingers began to slowly intertwine with her own. 

She felt blush rise to her freckled cheeks as their fingers meddled, discreetly readjusting to comfortably lock their hands together, all while keeping her gaze out the window and upon the landscape outside. 

After returning to the hotel, the girls took to their individual rooms and showered before preparing for their pre match ritual pasta night, changing into comfy clothes before heading down to the dining room. 

Astrid was finishing up her dinner when her phone rang. She didn’t recognise the number appearing on the screen, preparing to ignore it but a part of her knew to answer it. She quickly excused herself from the dining room, stepping into an empty hallway, Steph watching her closely as she left. 

“Hello?” She spoke as she answered it. 

“Is this Astrid Taylor?” The woman’s voice sounded serious in tone. 

“Yes it is. Who is this?” Astrid leant partially on the wall, awaiting her answer.  

“My name is Kate Smith from the New South Wales police force.” Kate spoke and Astrid immediately froze, standing up straighter from the wall. “I am calling to inform you that your parents, Mark and Joanna Taylor were involved in an accident.” Astrid's heart dropped to her stomach. 

“What?” Her voice was small and shaky. 

“A drunk driver collided with their car whilst driving tonight.” Kate paused. “They both sustained serious injuries in the collision and the paramedics were unable to save them by the time they reached the scene. I am very sorry for your loss-” 

The voice grew quiet as the phone fell from Astrid’s hand, Kate still talking but all noises faded into the background as Astrid froze. In a matter of seconds her life stopped. 

She was in shock, unable to move as a tear fell silently down her face. She stood in the empty hallway as the voice filtered through her phone but Astrid couldn’t hear a single thing. Eventually Kate hung up after not hearing any response from Astrid and she was left in the silence.

Steph began to grow worried at her younger teammates' disappearance, getting up from the table and walking out to where Astrid had gone minutes ago. Her brows furrowed as she couldn’t hear her speaking to someone on a phone. Her head went around the corner first, spotting Astrid very still, staring blankly down the hallway, tears falling down her face and phone flat on the floor. She immediately rushed over and as the older girl came closer, Astrid fell back into consciousness. 

“Hey, hey. What happened?!” Steph held Astrid’s face in her hands, searching her eyes with a worried look on her own face. Astrid took a shuddered breath in as she stared at Steph, more tears falling rapidly now. 

“M-my parents-” She whispered once she found her voice, pausing to let more air into her lungs.  

“What?” Steph softly urged for her to continue, worry and panic beginning to set in.

“There was an accident.” Her lip quivered as she spoke. “They’re gone.” Astrid finally spat it out, a loud sob escaping her chest as her knees buckled and she fell to the floor, Steph going down with her. Steph didn’t know what to say, only being able to bring Astrid closely into her chest as she finally broke down. Her chest heaved as she sobbed into Steph’s chest, gripping her shirt tightly. 

“Shhhh, shhhhh. I got you, I got you.” Steph smooths Astrid’s hair, holding her tightly as her own heart broke, silent tears falling down her face as she attempts to sooth the young girl. She just let her cry and cry and cry, staying silent as she held Astrid. 

She felt so much in the span of such little time. She was sad, heartbroken, angry and lost. Astrid didn’t know what to do, her parents were gone. She was with them celebrating at her home stadium just three days ago and now they were gone. She couldn’t even think, her mind was blank as she sat there in Steph’s arms.

Her breathing went back to normal and sobs subsided, easing her grip on Steph but staying pressed to her chest and listening to her heartbeat to calm her. 

“I’m so sorry.” Steph whispered, pressing a kiss to Astrid’s head who screwed her eyes shut and fresh tears fell down her face. “Come with me puddin’.” Steph spoke after another moment of silence, wanting to get them both to a quiet place away from the team next door. Astrid nodded once and let go of the older girl’s hoodie, slowly getting up from the floor with Steph’s help, still holding onto her close. 

“Kyra.” Astrid mumbled softly while sniffling, Steph leaning closer to hear her.

“Hey, chicken?” Steph asked softly, brushing the stray hairs from Astrid’s face. 

“Kyra, please.” She whispered again as she wiped her tears. 

“I’ll text her to come up okay?” Steph picked up Astrid’s forgotten phone from the ground and placed it in her pocket with her own, guiding Astrid towards the lifts and pressing the button for their team floor. Steph quickly shot Kyra a text, telling her to get up to Astrid’s room now. 

Steph walked them inside the room and sat against the headboard of Astrid’s bed, guiding the lost girl to lay her head across her lap. Astrid held onto Steph’s legs, the older girl ran her fingers softly through her loose hair as they waited for Kyra. 

A soft knock sounded, Steph slowly moving Astrid off her lap so she could open the door. Astrid laid frozen on the bed, falling back into shock as it began to process in her mind.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kyra panicked when she saw Steph’s tearful eyes, panting slightly from running to the room. The older girl didn’t speak before stepping out of the room, taking herself and Kyra into the hallway.

“Her parents were in an accident. Drunk driver.” The words left Steph’s lips and Kyra’s heart sunk.

“Are they okay? Did they get hurt?” Kyra hurriedly asked but as soon as she took in Steph’s expression she knew. “No.” Her voice was barely above whisper at the realisation. 

“She needs you.” Steph looked her in the eyes, Kyra nodding in understanding. She walked through the door and her heart broke even more seeing Astrid curled up on the bed facing away from her. Kyra silently slipped off her shoes before walking over to the bed, slowly laying down beside Astrid. 

Astrid felt the bed dip and a body behind her, arms wrapping around her and she could tell who it was, letting her body naturally fall back into the other. 

“I got you.” Kyra whispered, bringing her hand up to Astrid hair and running her fingers through it. Those three words brought all the feelings back to Astrid and she allowed herself to break down again, Kyra holding her tightly as she cried in her arms. 

Steph stood in the doorway watching the pair, noting how easily they slipped into the comfort of one another and how quickly Astrid could be calmed by the sounds of Kyra’s soft voice. In all honesty, Steph had never seen the pair so quiet when with one another; despite the current situation. 

They eventually rolled over and Astrid laid her head against Kyra’s chest, falling asleep to the sound of her heartbeat. Steph had left the room when Astrid was finally asleep, going to find Tony and let him know. Safe to say the man was heartbroken for his youngest player, but ready to support her however he could. 

Astrid woke up a bit later, still laying against Kyra’s chest as the soft strokes to her hair brought her back to reality. The room was silent bar their soft breaths. For the first few seconds she didn’t remember what had happened but it all quickly came rushing back.

“I should tell the girls.” Her words were soft and slightly startled Kyra who thought Astrid was still asleep. 

“You don’t have to do anything.” Kyra continued to brush her fingers through her hair, looking down at her best friend who was now staring blankly at the wall next to them.

“I want to. They’re as much my family as…” She trailed off, her eyes glossing over once again, finally looking up at Kyra. Kyra moved her hands to hold Astrid’s face, thumb swiping gently over the tears that began to fall. 

“I’m so sorry Star.” Kyra bit her lip as she met Astrid’s teary eyes, trying not to break in front of her. “What can I do for you?” Astrid shook her head. 

“I don’t even know what to do.” Astrid turned to look out the window, taking a breath in, closing her eyes and letting the breath go. Without another word Astrid got up off her bed, Kyra moving seconds behind her. 

No one expected to see Astrid after hearing news that something personal had happened, but neither Tony or Steph explained what, all thinking she would go home and have time with her family. So when they saw her walk into the common room with a blank expression on her red, tear stained face, it’s safe to say they were all shocked.

Astrid stood in the middle of the room, a large hoodie placed over her body despite the warm weather outside, holding the sleeves over her hands that played nervously with one another. Kyra stood behind her but slightly further back, giving her some space. 

“My parents… we’re in an accident.” She spoke softly into the quiet room, a few small gasps were heard, some girls were ready to ask questions but Astrid spoke again. “They couldn’t save them.” She let out a shaky breath and another tear fell as her heart shattered again by saying the words. 

They didn’t know whether to hug her or whether she needed time and space. But when they saw her eyes searching their faces, they knew. It was Cortnee who stood up first, walking over slowly in case that wasn’t what she wanted. But locking eyes with Cortnee and seeing more tears rising to her eyes again, they knew what she needed. 

One by one, the girls stood and found her in the middle of the room, piling in on top of one another and holding onto her, giving her all the love a family could provide in this time, because that’s what they were; family. 

to be continued...

[beelmons]

devil's mark cw: slightly nsfw

The heavy pants and and smooching noises where the only things that could be heard in the dark, tiny, closet at Rossi's house. Not that you minded though, the wet noises of your lips against Reid's was probably your favorite sound in the whole world. It killed you to be the only one who knew what was happening between him and you, if the decision had been yours, even the devil himself would know of your love.

But, in the end, the always worrisome Dr. Reid was not ready for a public commitment, or rather, he feared the teasing and nudging of his coworkers. Things were good as they were, why would you bring people into it? At least that was what he told himself everytime he wanted to hold your hand in public, or kiss you after getting good news, or simply put an end to other agents' flirting, and each time he had to stop himself. It was better this way, he thought.

"Come on, we have to go back." he said even when his hands kept you still pressed against his body, chest to chest, mind you.

"It's still not enough for me." you muttered, your lips attaching to a new area of his neck.

He noticed you didn't add as much tongue as you usually would, or that your lips seemed to linger a little longer than common, and specially that between kisses you pulled apart to be out of his sight, but he didn't make anything out of it, after all, your lips being on whatever part of his body had become his favorite hobby.

"They're gonna find out." he complained.

"They will." you breathed, and you tilted your head upwards to lay a deep but quick kiss to his lips "Eventually."

You hands sneaked in between your bodies to toy with the buttons of his shirt, spreading the collar apart to expose the center area of his chest. Your lips attached to the collarbone section. Pause. Then the pec section, and the mewl he let out was like honey dripping from his mouth.

"Okay." you finally pulled apart "I'm satisfied, for now" you made sure to emphasize your last words.

You took a second to fix his shirt back up, trying to leave no apparent trace that it had been undone in the first place. He stole one last kiss, he himself not being entirely satiated.

"I'll go out first, I've been gone the longest." he proposed and you gave him a hum in agreement.

He subtly left the closet, head turning frentically in search for anyone that could be inside the house before heading back to the yard area. His brows furrowed in confusion, though, when everyone looked at him with startled eyes.

"Reid..." Emily tried to warn him.

"So, where were you, pretty boy?" Derek interrupted, not wanting to skip the opportunity to do some brother-like teasing.

"Just needed to use the bathroom." he explained, doubt still written on his face.

"That's one hell of a service in that bathroom." Penelope blurted out without much thought.

"I do not remember hiring anyone to do that" Rossi added.

"What do you mean?" a very confused Spencer said, annoyance slightly appearing on his tone.

Hotch was the only member kind enough to open his front camera and offer the phone to Reid so he could observe himself. Bright, burgundy lip marks decorated his face, from his cheek to a trail that clearly followed down to at least the top area of his chest. The color that tinted his face didn't fall behind, the stains basically merging with his newfound skin tone. Seconds later, your figure appeared from between the house doors, with a freshly applied lipstick adorning your face.

"Let me guess, burgundy?" Derek pressed the issue, making an observation on your lip shade, and you simply shrugged innocently.

The speed which with Spencer snapped his neck to you could have given him whiplash, but the fact that every action you had taken back in that closet made the outmost sense now had him so bewildered he couldn't have cared.

"We've known for a while, Spence." JJ reasured him.

"For real, kid, is not a big deal." Derek told him when he noticed the embarrassment in his face.

Your hand darted out to grab his, a bright, relentless smile drawing on your lips. He couldn't help but to break into a laugh that everyone joined him in, boy, he would have done that differently, but he felt so free, so finally free.

"Penelope." he turned to Garcia once his breathing calmed down.

"Yes, lollipop." the rest of the girls giggled at her new nickname, and Reid rolled his eyes playfully.

"Please tell me you carry wet wipes."

[hetalian-veteran]

Hetalia Feels Like Home

I initially sat down to write something that would be a quick and easy read. Something you could read in a minute or two before you continue scrolling. But the more I thought about what I wanted to say, and everything that ties into it, the more I realized that this was going to be a much longer post.

I want to talk about, what else, Hetalia. But more importantly, I wanted to talk about how this show, and by extension, it's fandom, has not only left a massive impact on my life, but me as a person. I have a lot to say here, so strap in.

I'm going to start by explaining where I was in my life when I first watched the series. Then I will move on to explaining what I liked about it and how it entertained me. I'll also go into the different interests and fascinations that branched off of it. After that I'll discuss my seven-and-a-half-year hiatus from the fandom and what it's been like coming back.

Like many fans, I was a tween when I got into Hetalia. Specifically, twelve years old, and just barely into middle school. And for a number of reasons, this was the first time in my life that I began to seriously struggle with my mental health. While I don't feel comfortable divulging too many details, I will say that my homelife growing up was fairly chaotic. I understood that plenty of other kids out there had it way worse than me, but I can't say I was doing too well either. (Sidenote: me and my family are doing great now, in case you were wondering).

At the beginning of sixth grade, I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD all in one fell swoop. This, on top of things at home, was already a lot for twelve-year-old me to handle. And having to deal with the stressful changes that came with a new school and puberty was the watery icing on the crummy cake.

As mentioned in a previous post, it was a new friend I made that introduced me to Hetalia. You can read about it here, but in short, I was sent into the show completely blind and found myself both lost and confused. I initially decided the show wasn't for me, but after some convincing from my friend, I gave it another shot. I returned home to watch the show again and tried to have an open mind.

And it was then that it clicked for me. This show was about events in world history and geopolitics. And the countries of the world were all being portrayed as their own personified characters. Greatly stereotyped characters, to be sure. But it was still an interesting concept. One that was new to me. Not to mention, after I got over the initial whiplash and understood the abnormal flow of the almost non-existent narrative, I discovered something. Not only was this bizarre show a comedy, but it was freaking hilarious! I remember sitting at the computer laughing my head off with every episode. When I finally understood how the show worked, it became a fun, wild ride.

And more importantly, it made me happy. During a very dark time in my life, right at the beginning of adolescence, I found a show that managed to make me smile. All during a time where I felt like I forgot how to.

And then I discovered the fandom.

Now, I was not new to fandoms. As someone who grew up deeply invested in the Warriors series in elementary school, and who happened to have access to the internet, I was exposed to fandoms at about the age of ten. Heck, probably even earlier, seeing as I am from a family full of nerds. But the internet definitely gave me a much more immersive way to interact with fandom.

I don't know exactly how I found the Hetalia fandom specifically, just that I loved finding and reading fanfiction, as well as looking at cool fanart and headcanons to add to my Hetalia board on Pinterest. But goodness, if the show hadn't gotten me totally hooked on Hetalia content already, the fandom certainly did.

Now, I made it a point to not be social online growing up. Mainly because I managed to be socially awkward not only in real life, but on the freaking internet of all things. Not to mention my elementary school teachers showed us videos about the dangers of talking to strangers online as a kid, and that scared me straight. As a result, I never talked to anyone online about Hetalia. I was part of a Facebook group, but that was it. Instead, I was just lurking around and taking in all kinds of fan content. And it was the fan content that really dug its claws into my brain, as this is how I learned about all of the fanon.

I saw all the different ways people interpreted the characters, and all the different ways the characters could be depicted regarding different ideas and concepts. Once I realized how versatile the characters could be in fan content, my own creative brain went into overdrive. While I never posted anything, I found myself creating my own fanart and fanfics. And without realizing it, started to construct my own versions of these characters in my head. Characters that began to feel more personal to me individually. As if I knew them.

But Hetalia didn't just get the creative juices flowing. As is the case with many fans, I became deeply invested in world history as well. I wanted to know everything there was to know. I began watching WWI and WWII documentaries frequently. I found myself researching the formation of Europe after school for fun. I endlessly researched the history between Austria, Hungary, and Prussia. I became deeply invested in learning all I could about the Kingdom of Prussia and the Teutonic Knights. It got to the point where my mom got me a book on the entire history of Prussia in seventh grade, and I was over the freaking moon about it!

Hetalia also managed to get me interested in my ethnic background and where my ancestors are from. I began to research my ancestry and was ecstatic when I learned that I potentially had family that hailed from the Kingdom of Prussia. I also got super invested in learning about all the cultures that made up my background, and since then I've been learning all I can in an effort to connect with them. Especially since as an American, that's a part of me I'd often felt disconnected from. Hetalia truly inspired me to dig into my family's history!

Not to mention that the character songs for Hetalia absolutely slapped. A lot of them are certified bangers, and you cannot convince me otherwise. Songs like 'Aiyah 4000 Years', 'Mein Gott', 'Pub and Go', and many others would play in my brain on repeat.

Ah yes. Hetalia truly had me in its grasp. I was deeply obsessed and invested in Hetalia and so much of the content within the fandom.

I mentioned earlier that there was a lot going on growing up, and that I struggled with some pretty severe mental health issues for a tween. The reason I felt the need to bring that up was because I genuinely feel as though this played directly into why I got so into Hetalia. In a world where it felt like everything was falling apart around me, Hetalia gave me a reason to laugh and smile. It gave me new creative outlets to further explore. It helped create new interests, hobbies, and passions. It gave me characters I came to deeply love and find enjoyment and even comfort in.

But most of all, Hetalia became a safe space for me. An escape when things got too difficult or scary to deal with in the moment. A space where I felt comfortable. Where I could be myself.

And then, after four years of being deep into Hetalia and its fandom... I lost interest.

Now, this might sound a little odd, considering how much I emphasized the importance of Hetalia in my life up until this point. But for some reason when I was going on sixteen years old, I just fizzled out. I can't explain it, but over time, I slowly began to care less and less about Hetalia. Not because I hated it, but because I just... Sorta dropped off. I remember having this feeling of, "I've already seen everything the fandom has to offer," so I suppose that could have been the reason. Either way, I started to drift away from the series and fandom that had previously brought me so much joy.

And it was weird. For a solid week there, I was both parts accepting of my losing interest and panicking over it. Again, this only lasted for a week before I fully took off from the fandom and series. But losing my interest in Hetalia felt like losing a dear friend. Which, at the time, was also happening with the friend who got me into Hetalia in the first place. Life took us in different directions, and we drifted apart. And for some reason, my love for Hetalia went with him.

And then I was gone from the fandom for about seven-and-a-half years. Everyone would say that Hetalia was the fandom you couldn't escape from, but I really didn't think that was true for the longest time. I mean, yeah, I would find myself humming 'Pub and Go' once in a while, but other than that? I didn't think about Hetalia at all. I never thought about the characters, I didn't think about the series every time I looked at a world map, and I certainly wasn't shipping countries together. But even so, the effects of my time in the fandom were still there. And over time, I began to dislike it.

Not the effects, but how deep into Hetalia I was back in the day. Like many others, I cringed looking back at my middle school self. Still do, honestly. But in high school the annoyance for my middle school self was unreal. I was irritated by what a freaking weird kid she was. And after I found out about some of the controversies that somehow went completely over my head? I became deeply ashamed of having ever liked Hetalia and being in the fandom. I didn't think about it too much at the time, but there was definitely this feeling of, "I cannot let anyone know I was into Hetalia." A phase common among old Hetalia fans.

And yet, somehow, against all odds, after years of being away from the fandom and Hetalia itself, even after a new season came out... I came back just earlier this year. Several months ago as of writing this if we want to be more precise.

But what was it? What brought me back? Well, I'd say it's a combination of two things.

First off, the theory of Germany being HRE came into my mind. I don't know why this happened, or how this came up. But either way, my brain was now fixating over that theory, as well as the interesting writing ideas that can branch off of it.

Second off, and I think this may be the most important one, is that I had recently gotten into an accident at work that temporarily took away my ability to write and draw for several months. The two things I am most passionate about, and were my number one stress relievers, were now inaccessible to me. And as medical treatments did nothing to help, and my condition got progressively worse, my mental health took a steep decline as well. I began to fret over the idea of not being able to write or draw ever again. I would lay in bed sobbing over the idea. (My hand is better now by the way).

And it was during this difficult time that Hetalia somehow came back and found me again. After Hetalia came back to my mind, I decided to look it up on TikTok just because. And I was floored when I saw how many Hetalians were on there! I even checked back in with the Tumblr side of the fandom and saw that, sure enough, you were here as well! I had seriously believed that the fandom was dead and gone, but it was still alive and kicking to some extent.

And so, I decided, "Why not?" And rewatched the entire series. And next thing I knew, I found myself diving into the fandom once more. I created this blog to try and connect with other fans, and I'm so glad I did. This blog has not only been doing wonders for my mental health, but it's been so fun and wholesome to see the fandom as it is today.

I find it interesting that I found or came back to Hetalia during difficult times in my life. Maybe there's a reason for it, or maybe it's just coincidence. Who can say? But what I can say is this.

Hetalia, and more importantly, its fandom, have been a massive comfort to me in my life. It has affected so many of the things I now love and find enjoyment in. It's impacted my absurd sense of humor. It's impacted the person I am now because I engaged with it on such an intense, visceral level. I find so many of the characters to be comfort characters for me now. No matter what, I'll always have them.

Hetalia truly feels like home to me. And I think that's largely why I ended up coming back after all these years. Now, however long I'll stay this time around is anyone's guess. But even if I do take off again, I know I'll be back. At some point or another, I'll be back.

Because Hetalia makes me happy. Because it gave me reasons to continue laughing and realize that life doesn't end just because something bad happens, or because life is painful. Because it gives me endless creative material to use and draw from whenever I want. Because connecting with Hetalia and its fandom feels like reconnecting with an old friend.

Because Hetalia feels like home.

[phantaloon]

okay okay im finally finished with both eps and here's my genuine opinion

the cast is 10/10, every single one of these kids knows exactly what they're doing and WHO they are, i can't imagine anyone playing each character better than them

the slight change in Sally and gabe's dynamic gave me a bit of whiplash at first, but the second time watching it, i kinda really dig it better than the books

the way they're portraying percy's feelings of inadequacy and the whole "i know I'm broken, i don't need you to make up stories for me"? fucking devastating, but it fits so fucking well (i can't remember if this is shown as deeply as it's shown here)

sally jackson is the most badass mfer and i fucking love her she is the godly parent fuck poseidon

it's been said before but sally calling percy perseus when she wants him to listen >>>

LOVED how they gave us the impression of percy having riptide while facing the minotaur, only for them to take it away (not really but percy didn't know that) and having percy face the minotaur book style rather than movie style

ANNABETH SAYING PERCY MUST BE THE ONE I SCREAMED

i am fucking loving the way they're doing percy's rage, like maybe it's bc i don't remember it as clearly in the books, but it's so raw, and walker does an amazing job portraying it, but the whole part where he offers food (a thing meant to be for gods) to SALLY, king behavior fr, and that monolog about making his father see them?? actual goosebumps

leah does such an amazing job portraying annabeth's indifference and apparent arrogance, i can't explain how much i love her, like she does it so subtly, it's just little gestures, but she IS annabeth chase (this felt especially cooler after seeing her in interviews, where she's actually really shy irl)

im not going to lie here, and like im sure it was done on purpose anyway, but i am feeling it kinda rushed, and I get it really! they won't waste time in the many chapters spent during camp introducing the world to us, when they've got few episodes, and the whole quest to showcase instead, but like, i would have loved to see percy training with luke (and besting him) and annabeth showing percy around camp (second time we've missed that) and idk just some fun little details, but like i said, i understand why they HAD to rush the intro, so I'm not upset about it or disappointed, just smth to notice

having said that, i really did love the bit of luke guiding percy through several activities trying to figure out his "calling", the callback to percy's horrible archery skills is 10/10

annabeth's yankees cap is fr a yankees cap and im crying

i nearly forgot, but im loving the nightmare sequences, i love how they're keeping the "voice" so faceless and shapeless, but just a light in the darkness of a nightmare, and really it's a great figure, bc a light in a nightmare is usually a good thing, it's the thing you run towards, and it's usually smth that helps you, but here, the light in the darkness is anything but good (quite literally) and he literally taunts percy, and fuels his fear and bitterness, and ugh I love it

the whole capture the flag sequence is 10/10 as well, i can't explain how much this healed me, just like annabeth leaving percy to be bored to death on his own, when she was right there, the transition between luke's "percy's got this" and percy doing the fucking floss dance? cinematic masterpiece, and like the fight sequence was really well done and crafted much much better than many others that rely on slow mo or weird angles, like the fight with clarisse and her spear was gold

dior's scream as percy breaks clarisse's spear alone deserves an emmy

leah portrays annabeth so effortlessly and naturally, I've said it before but i love her

i got like 10 seconds of annabeth interacting with percy and i can already see them together forever ahdjdj

overall 10/10 will rewatch again and again and again bc I'm in fucking love even if it does feel a bit rushed at times and there was the same lack of the hellhound as the movie

[dcbutinamrev]

Realizing Ponyboy would be the last one standing in the gang hurts me. This is how I’d think it’d play out.

Johnny was the first one to die, from burns from the fire but he died a hero

Dally not too long after that, in Ponyboy’s heart, he’d die a hero as well. Despite Dally’s reputation and how Pony states, he didn’t quite exactly like Dally, (I don’t remember the correct wording he used) he still looked up to him, still admired his mean looks. He was like another brother to Pony.

Then, his brother gets drafted into Vietnam a few years later after the book. Steve wanted to get drafted as well, where Soda goes he goes. But Soda tried to keep him out. I’d always headcanoned both he and Steve to get drafted. But Steve makes it out alive. When Steve returns without his brother—someone who’d he’d promise the Curtis brothers he’d protect and bring home alive—Ponyboy just runs to him and hugs Steve who holds Soda’s uniform before Darry. The trio crumple to the floor, grieving over another brother.

Then Steve would die of a broken heart. Literally. Like how Johnny was to Dally, Soda was not only his best friend, but the one he loved the most. The one person who seemed to understand him, despite their long time friendship since they were kids. He’d try to get back to work at the DX, but every time he enters the station, he gets whiplashes of Soda and it led him to insanity, it almost scared Pony, Darry and Two. Ponyboy feared it must have been the PTSD hitting him and he was right. Even a year after Soda’s death, Steve drinks himself in denial. And, on one fateful night, he gets in his car and drives under the influence of drinking. Suffice it to say, he felt at peace finally and sees Soda’s smiling face. The police found him like that, faced up and smiling.

Two-Bit would have been next. He’d live a relatively good life. He’d marry, much to Darry’s surprise. He’d even tried to stop drinking after Steve’s death. He tried to be strong for the two remaining Curtis brothers which is why he’s trying to stop. He’s trying to help Darry with supporting Ponyboy in his college years by earning himself a job and helping around the house. Whenever the pain of Soda, Steve’s, Dally’s and Johnny’s death play out, he’d resorted to drinking again. He never told anyone. Not even his wife. Though Darry suspected she knew but she wouldn’t tell him. Darry received a call from work one day. It was Keith’s wife and she gave him the news. Two-Bit Matthews died from excessive drinking. She found him in his bed still that morning, unresponsive. Darry didn’t take it well to say the least.

And finally, Darry would have been the second to last one. He’d die of cancer and old age. But Ponyboy was by his side when it happened in the hospital. Along with Darry’s wife and kids. Ponyboy squeezed Darry’s pale hands in his, tears on his cheeks as he tried to remain strong for Darry and his family. Under the medicine’s influence, Darry’d mention their parents, Steve and the gang. He’d even mention Sodapop which brought more tears to Pony’s face. Finally, Darry turned to his brother and whispered, “I love you, baby. Keep that strong heart.” And finally, his last words to his baby brother would be: “I’m sorry.” Ponyboy would sob into his brother’s chest, saying he forgives him. That he always had.

Now, Ponyboy Michael Curtis sits on his childhood home a few years after Darry’s death, roughly into his mid seventies, sitting on the porch, Gone with the Wind in his lap, staring off into the sunset. And he smiles, hearing Johnny’s voice in his ears: “Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.”

[internetgiraffekid1673]

I Made MORE Princess Bee Fanart:

Sup, I had my wisdom teeth ripped out of my head, which means I had pain and time to kill! That means I made more fanart for a miraculous ladybug AU created by @princess-of-the-corner, because it has gripped it's claws into my brain and will not let go. AU is called Princess Bee.

I made a short, sketchy comic based off these two posts involving Adrien getting akumatized by a Butterfly!Lila and her finding out about the ENTIRE sentikid nonsense through his emotional meltdown. Beware of tonal whiplash.

Explanation of AU under the cut (as well as a little bonus drawing). I did not come up with this idea, go read the Princess Bee tag on @princess-of-the-corner! (and all the other AUs and fics going on over there, they are so cool).

>:) :'). Oh, and I gave Chester a rat's tail braid.

General Explanation of Princess Bee: If I keep making fanart of this, I'll probably just make one solid paragraph and stop rewriting this every single time!

Anyway, sometime before season 5, Chloe gets disowned/emancipated and skips town, where she goes to law school, gets therapy, and eventually has a daughter named Dawn. Shortly after she leaves, an altered version of the S5 finale goes down where a Wish is made that prevents the current Team from using their Miraculous again. Lila, with nobody left to get revenge against, disappears underground to do low-scale cons. Ships sail and children are had. And then everything goes to shit many years later when the Adrienette kids find the miraculous and take them on a joyride that ends out VERY on the news, which causes Lila to resurface. At the same time, Chloe gets dragged back to Paris due to Andre's death and failure to update his will. Now it's up to the Next Gen kids to stop a new Butterfly under their parent's guidance, all while everyone is navigating a complex web of interpersonal relationships!

Bonus: Butterfly!Lila design. Technically, this could be for anything, since Lila is all geared up to be the new main villain and Butterfly holder of Miraculous, but I designed this with Princess Bee in mind, so she's an adult. I based her off a purple empress butterfly, and also could not remember Cornerverse's Butterfly!Lila name for the life of me, so I named her Empress. I don't love the name, but I don't hate it either.

[barnesafterglow]

friday (i'm in love)

summary: every day you love bucky. every friday he pretends to love you too

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: college!au, angst, phoebe bridgers made me do this, ambiguous ending

a/n: i've been working on this bad boy since august and finally got around to finishing it. i actually really like this and i hope you all do too! please remember to reblog and comment - i love getting feedback!

masterlist ─ i no longer have a taglist but you can follow @theafterglowlibrary and turn on notifications to stay updated on when i post!

The Monday sun trickled through your half opened blinds, waking more sweetly than you probably deserved. Your eyes cracked open, seeing a peaking glance of the blue morning sky, and a half smile made its way to your face. Mondays were usually hard for you but you thought that just maybe today would be a change.

That is until your hand reached for the other side of the bed, feeling the sheets cold from a body long gone. Any warmth the splashes of sun may have granted you seeped from your body, leaving you as cold and empty as your sheets. Disappointed - but not surprised - you slipped from underneath the covers and made your way to the bathroom. While you were waiting for the water to heat up, you hesitantly looked at yourself in the mirror.

It was the same as every Monday of the semester -  messy hair, the remnants of mascara just under your eyes, the peak of a smattering of bruises across your collarbones - always low enough that no one could see them but you, and the person who left them there. But they would mostly fade by Friday, just to be replaced over the weekend.

It was a pattern you had somehow let yourself fall into, no end in sight. Every time your roommate gave you the side eye, or poured you a glass of wine when she heard your muffled sobs over the sound of the running shower, or heard the door quietly open and close in the way too early morning hours while she was awake in the living room, you tried to come up with ways to end it, ways to break the cycle. You would never do it, of course, but maybe if you could imagine, just for a moment, an end to the hurt you put yourself through, you could take a breath of relief.

As you stepped out of the lobby of your apartment into late fall air, you tampered down a quick flash of anger. It didn’t seem fair that the light blue of the sky and the golden rays of the sun were allowed to be out and proud when your own blue mood was so dark it neared black.

But still, just like every Monday, you took a deep breath and headed to your first class.

You were halfway across campus when you saw Bucky, talking to Sharon, and the quick flash of eye contact before he looked away, not so much as a wave of recognition, threatened to bring you to your knees. 

And the sky remained blue and clear.

-

Tuesday was so dark and cold it gave you whiplash.

The second day of the week was always a little easier, the wound less fresh, and you eased yourself out of bed, still sore from yesterday’s workout - where you ran until you could barely breathe because it was the only time you stopped thinking of Bucky. The warm shower nearly held you hostage, knowing you would be faced with a bitter chill once you stepped outside.

You managed to get out despite the protests from every cell in your body, and spent a long time getting ready, delaying the inevitable.

Your heart thudded, heavy in your chest, as you navigated campus, never sure when your greatest daydream and darkest nightmare would emerge from the crowd to haunt you with empty eyes.

The universe granted you reprieve for a day.

-

Wednesday wasn’t as kind.

The same weather matched your overcast mood and you bundled up in the first sweatshirt you grabbed from your drawer.

It wasn’t until you were already out of the door that you realized it was Bucky’s, and you let out a choked sound before you composed yourself.

Of course it would be your luck to be just outside the building when you got a message your only class for the day had been canceled, and you decided to make the trip worth your time by heading to the library.

You studied for your upcoming exam, digging into your textbook with a highlighter and a middle-of-the-week attitude.

As you turned the page, it sliced your finger and you let out a hiss of pain. The other hand gripped your pen so hard you thought it might explode in a splash of ink and shame. From the way your week was already going, you honestly wouldn’t be surprised. 

Dropping the pen on the table with a soft clatter, you dug around in your bag, searching for tissues you knew you didn't have. You finally gave up, sticking the bleeding fingertip in your mouth so you didn’t get blood on the page of notes you had been diligently working on. You looked around to see if anyone had seen your miniature fiasco, but everyone else on the floor was either immersed in their own studying or chatting quietly amongst themselves.

In your glance around, the elevator doors opening caught your eye at the very same moment Bucky walked out. Your heart swelled in a flurry of hope as his face split into an easy grin, until you realized he was looking over you. You turned your head enough to see Steve and Sam just a few tables over, and Bucky took a couple steps forward until his gaze dropped enough to see you. And your sweatshirt.

He came to a sudden stop, smile disappearing from his face, and he took a sharp turn towards the corner of the library where the stairwell led back to the bottom floor. You could barely hear the slam of the heavy door over the shattering of your heart.

-

By Thursday, you had fully convinced yourself to move on.

You had one last crying session with Wanda, over a bottle of wine and a mountain of good advice you would try desperately to take.

With a warm buzz, you felt light and airy on the decision to do better, be better, be stronger. No matter how many times you had told yourself the last time was truly the last time, you were convinced this was it.

Instead, Friday brought you a hangover and a text from Bucky.

Usual tonight?

You ignored it all day. You turned your phone off, shoved your laptop in a drawer, took away any form of communication you had with him. You spent the day catching up on reading you had been telling yourself you would get to for months.

It almost worked.

Wanda was gone for the weekend - she mistakenly trusted your promise that Bucky wouldn’t be coming over.

Because by the time the clock struck midnight, you texted him back.

-

For most of the next week, you didn’t see Bucky at all.

Monday it was a downpour, the sky black and the wind cutting your skin. You knew he skipped class on days like that. After class, you went for a run, watching the rain splatter on the window that looked over campus, and tried to push him from your brain. It worked.

Tuesday, in the early hours of the morning, you got a panicked call from your mom. Your dad was in the hospital and she needed help for a couple days. You packed a bag and got in your car, heading home without a second thought.

Wednesday you were so busy you didn’t think about Bucky at all.

Thursday, it was almost easy to block Bucky’s number.

Friday, you heard it.

Knock. Knock. Knock knock knock.

The pattern that let Wanda know to disappear into her room, where she could pretend she didn’t know what was happening. Bucky didn’t like anyone to see him there, even the girl who heard everything the two of you did through the thin walls.

The doorknob rattled, and you could tell he was surprised to find it locked. Every Friday before, it had been left open for him.

Evening your breathing, you opened the door and saw his confused face. Your thoughts wrestled between slamming the door shut and leaping into his arms.

In the end, you did neither, stepping back and letting him trail you to your bedroom.

“You never answered my text.” There was no emotion behind the statement. He said it like it was a simple fact, no different than telling you that your walls were grey.

“I know.” He sat on your bed like he belonged there.

“Why?” You backed away as far as you could, your back hitting the wall, your arms crossing over your chest like they could protect you from his words.

“Why do you think?”

“I have no clue.” You were in disbelief. He had no clue? No clue what you felt for him? No clue that he broke your heart a little more every time he came and went?

“I’m done. With us.” You tried to keep your voice from shaking, but there was still a slight waver. You wondered if he even noticed.

“What do you mean you’re done?”

“I mean I don’t want to do this anymore. Don’t want to see you. Don’t want you here.”

“Why?” So many why’s. So many sharp words he didn’t even know were cutting you deep.

“What do you mean why, Bucky? This isn’t fair anymore! You stay here all weekend, you slip in my bed and in me and then you’re gone by the time I wake up Monday morning. And every Monday I can’t hold my tears back, even though I know you won’t be here.”

“Baby, you -”

“Don’t call me baby.”

He looked genuinely shocked, and you knew why. You had never raised your voice at him. The two of you had never even gotten in any kind of fight; he didn’t care enough to.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just,” he stopped, seemingly gathering up his next words, “you knew what this was when we started.”

“And what is ‘this’? What am I to you?”

“You know what you are. You’re a… friend. With benefits. We said there were no strings attached.”

“No, you said there were no strings attached, and I went along with whatever you wanted because I knew this was as close as I could ever get to you loving me back.” The words flew from your mouth before you could catch them, and the tension that blanketed the room was so thick you felt like you could hold it in your hands.

“What?” His voice was barely a whisper, the first time he had shown any true emotion since he walked into your apartment.

“Just forget it.” You took a deep breath. “Get out.”

His eyes held a thousand questions, and you didn’t want to hear any of them. He sat, still as a statue, just staring at you.

“I said get out.”

It was like the words awoke him from a trance and he stood quickly, stumbling past you as he made his way out of the apartment.

-

The weekend hurt - the first weekend you hadn’t spent with Bucky in you didn’t even know how long.

But you didn’t cry.

You thought that might be a good thing.

-

By Monday, you were truly feeling better - the first Monday you could remember not having an emotional hangover. You got up early and went for a morning run, and didn’t even have to push the thought of Bucky from your mind. Then you went home and showered and got ready for the day. As you walked to class, you held your head high, a ghost of a smile on your face.

You felt good.

Then you saw him again. 

It was like deja vu, life in slow motion, a moment so perfectly timed you couldn’t even make it up in fiction.

You passed Bucky, the same as just a couple weeks before, talking to Sharon. Except this time, his arm was slung over her shoulder, a cocky grin on his face. Except this time, he actually looked at you, met your eyes in a stare, and his face dropped.

Except this time, gazes still locked, you watched each other, heads turned, until the moment passed and you were on your way, heart stilled in your chest.

-

Tuesday and Wednesday you couldn’t even get out of bed. 

It was like the small modicum of progress you had was washed away with the rain that pattered outside your window.

You wouldn’t - couldn’t - eat, so Wanda resorted to bringing you glasses of water, making you sit up and drink at least two before she would let you go back to wallowing.

She was a good friend; you knew she would make you get out of bed eventually, and she would help you move on. And you would try.

Thursday, the door cracked open, and you figured it was her finally coming to drag you out of bed. Instead, Nat and Wanda walked in.

Without a word, then got into bed on either side of you, and held you until you couldn’t cry anymore.

-

The weekend was easier. You went out with your friends you had been neglecting. You didn’t see Bucky. You felt better, at least a little bit.

You thought that maybe you would always love Bucky - love the way he touched you, love the way he would lay in your bed for hours and talk about anything and everything, love the way you knew each other inside and out - but you could also move on.

It was possible, you just had to try.

-

Monday night, you were sitting on the couch watching old TV reruns when you heard a shuffle outside your door.

Knock. Knock. Knock knock knock.

[shehungthemoon]

Just dumping my Ina Paha thoughts here. 🙃

First of all I did NOT know it was the 100th episode going into this, so i was very confused watching the montage at the end lol

I also had to click out and make sure I didn't click the wrong episode when the Pilot started playing at the beginning. When I heard Danny's voice on the phone instead of Hesse's I swear I got whiplash

It's filmed so well (bar where they reshot the pilot where Steve gets Danny on the phone instead of a dead dad, in which they literally forgot to put the same filter over the scene to make the stitching coherent) and I absolutely love the camera work they did with the white-room and the video projections. It felt very much a level above normal network television cinematography, especially the parts where Steve's going in and out of the hallucinations.

Steve finally FINALLY killing Wo-Fat was so cathartic, it should have happened ages ago but I'm willing to look past all the dumb ways he survived just to allow this incredible ending to his story.

Ina Paha gave me Kono doing... this. I owe Grace Park my whole life. Pls costuming department put her in hot pink again 💗

yes, it was a Steve episode. but Danny REALLY shone, first as the only resident Actual Detective figuring out what happened to Steve by the tire-tracks, rampaging through the compound steadily and efficiently and knocking people off without a pause, and then in Steve's mind shooting Hesse's kneecaps off?!?!?! That was CRAZY and probably not suppose to be as hot as it was and definitely made me want an ex-mobster AU immediately. Basically I have a competency kink and really like badass!danny shit 😊

Seeing Chin's long hair again made me swoon

My jaw dropped when I saw Jenna! I think it's really interesting that Steve still thinks of her so much, and I was surprised that she showed up in both the actual dreams and the montage. I definitely underestimated how much she impacted Steve's life, it seems, and I hate that we'll never hear him address that and we'll only know about it inadvertently like this.

(hand over the heart for how lori got like. one team shot. poor girlie.)

⭐I took the montage at the end as being flashbacks and memories that Steve was having as he left the compound. Looking at it through that lens certainly makes one unwell.

Obligatory squeal for Adam appearing just to save the day :))) look below to see the love of my life! :)))))) ⬇⬇⬇

Of course, the obligatory mcdanno bullet(s). It writes itself! The way Danny said Steve's name so small and broken when he found him. The way they look at each other on the ground, the pain their faces. I need an official apology statement from Scott and Alex for it. Can we talk about what flashes by during the montage at the end? (IMO it being Steve's memories.) So much Danny.

The first thing is Danny and Steve's first meeting. Jfc. The showrunners milk it SO MUCH and who's complaining

The big, rocking hug. The hands clasping underground. Gracie of course. And then Danny collapsing from the bioweapon, which to be honest I was NOT expecting to see at all--it felt like a genuinely strange choice to include in there and it really ONLY makes sense if you go along with all that being what Steve's remembering. Even then, I was surprised to see it, so basically this is Hawaii Five-Oh making mcdanno gayer than even I was wanting them to be. Steve still thinks about that? From so long ago? Even with so many other close calls in between then and now? Good fucking lord ok then loverboy that's WILD. Canon accepted ig this show is just pure whump.

Danny goes through all of this just days after losing his brother and killing Reyes. JFC can we please address that. I need a 30k introspection fic to let me into this man's mind rn.

The Wo Fat v.s. Steve fight at the end was INCREDIBLE. I would love to give the choreographer's hand a shake, it's some of the best work I've seen on television in a long time. It was impressive for a procedural like this. It was long and physical and you truly didn't know what the outcome was going to be; it everything that their built-up relationship deserved for a conclusion. It also happening with a Steve coming off of hours of torture and drugging was crazy (guess we finally know who would win a PVP if they were both at full strength!). That being said I was really impressed with Wo Fat's capabilities and physical prowess, I was not expecting it to be so even and close to the line. I actually jumped when Steve LIFTED him up into the lighting fixture. We do not talk about Steve's (Alex's???) raw upper-body strength enough.

Anyway. Electricity in the water play. The physicality hell that this gif below is ⬇. Fire extinguishers and loaded needles. Crazy martial arts. Chair and buckets (holy shit did y'all see the force with which Wo Fat SHOT that bucket?????) flying. All's fair. I loved it.

The shot going right through the forehead, clean. I don't know how to put into words why that's so monumental to me but it is.

The mystery bad lady was SO intriguing, I wish we got more from her... How does she know Wo Fat? Why was she entrusted with all that information on him and Steve and especially Doris? Absolutely where did she come from, what was her name? Why did I have a huge huge hot crush on her? All important questions. (Goes to show that h50 CAN give us some more genuine badass, not just there to date someone women characters, just explicitly choose not to. I'm holding out for Ellie to remain platonic so hard right now.)

Almost forgot Danny in that black Hawaiian shirt. Will be whimpering over that image forever. The whole episode I was trying to focus on the underlining betrayal mystery they were laying out but every time my brain started working too hard Scott with his stupid waist and those flower patterns just started flashing into my head

Again, are you seeing this:

I'm unwell and so so happy.

H50 you're a gem when you want to be.