#and it doesnt help that rejection brings that idea to the surface also

[diaperedbee]

Man, kinky/queer dating apps suck. This might get venty, be warned

My experience the last week has been getting banned for mouthing off dudes sending me unsolicited dick pics INCESSANTLY and getting banned off of the most mundane profile for what I can only assume is either for no reason or because I mentioned the word diaper (even though the app has a profile option for littles).

I am staunchly against the app Kinkd.

I already thought i would never be able to find anyone on a mainstream dating app. Now, it feels like my chances just hit the sewers.

No one's gonna see me, an impoverished trans woman who can't afford insurance, a license to drive, a car, likes to act like a baby, wear and use diapers, and isn't particularly interested in having sex and is gonna say "that's the one for me," because even when I've dated people in the community it's like they expect me to be perfect. They don't see me as my whole self, they see me as someone who should be whole in this moment, and they discard the traumas I've told them of when I become an inconvenience, like when I'm having a meltdown.

This is partly why content has lacked, too. I've been in a depressive rut, and trying to break out has been more overwhelming than the stuff keeping me here.

Back to your regularly scheduled, bubbly, diapered sex object.

[adarkermiserablecrow]

I finally watched 6x11, 'In another life' and boy did some writer put their whole pussy into this one.

And I have Thoughts about this which I am gonna share with the class, because I have been crying/yelling at my tv/hysterically laughing for 45 minutes now, and if my neighbours are going to hate me, the least I can do is hop on here and be annoying.

It got really long and ramble-y so I'll put it under a cut.

1. Coma Buckley family: I think it's really interesting that, in the beginning, it's implied that the buckley parents dote on evan to daniel's detriment (''oh i didnt know you remembered he had a brother") but not neglecting him like they neglected Buck irl. Daniel seems well-adjusted, implied to be a caring doctor ("maybe you should listen to your patients") but also a bit aloof, oblivious (not noticing anything weird about doug - a bit more on that later). It does seem like a picture perfect family, on its surface, with bickering siblings and family dinners, but it sets up a very important theme that runs throughout the episode: this dream life, buck being a teacher and on good terms with his parents and having his brother be alive, comes at the expense of his ability to help. First and foremost, his ability to help his sister escape, offer safe haven, because in this reality he never left PA. And later on in the episode, people insist that he has the ability to fix anything in the coma, but that was disproved at the very beginning when he tried to help maddie and failed, and failed to get daniel to help. From the get go, we see that even in here, not everything is fixable, and we're told this later on as well, when bobby says 'you cant bring me back to life in this dream'. The point here is that at the beginning we're dealing with buck who wants the happy family he never knew as a child, the neglected kid who wishes his parents would be the kind of people that they were in the dream, happy and involved in his life. But at the end, having been through the rest of the dream, it's his parents in their new shiny caring version that try to hold him back, it's his parents dragging him down. But, this is his subconscious, so in reality, it's that wish of having a happy family and the resentment towars his parents that is dragging him down, and he recognises that, and he forgives them, because thats the only way he can move on, return to life. Many people complain about the parents' redemption, and maybe ill change my mind when i watch the rest of the season, but I dont think it was a redemption for them. It was all on buck, he forgave them, he chose to move past it, and let them into his life. In the end, back in the real world, his parents still don't really listen to him, when he says his apartment is fine, he does not need a couch. Buck tells maddie he doesn't mind them. That doesnt mean they're meant to have changed, Buck is the one who changed. And, the choice to go hard on the father/son dynamic with bobby, and buck telling daniel his family is different out there, adds a layer: he doesn't really view them as his parents anymore. He doesn't get hung up on it now, but he lets go of the idea that they would ever be the doting family he needed as a child, and recognises that he found that family elsewhere. He accepts them as people in his life, and rejects them as parents. It ties into Chimney's storyline with his own father, how Chim and Buck both move toward forgiveness, and it also ties back to the sperm donor storyline and the argument between chim and buck's fathers. The point of the buckleys' 'redemption' is that buck forgives, even if he does not forget.

2. Buck's other fixes: it has been established that this all happens in buck's subconscious. The way he slowly realises the impact his life has had on others is just... The starting point is maddie and yeah I said that already, but then he finds chim and hen pretty much the same, and he assumes the only person he's ever helped is maddie. But then he finds out about bobby and eddie, and it occurs to him for the first time ever that he helped them too, got them out of a tough spot. It's not a sure thing that things would have turned out that way in buck's absence, but the point here is for him to realise that he helped, he was needed. It's particularly strong with Bobby, who appears like a little psychopathic gremlin in the dream, drinking here and there and guzzling down pills, and essentially tells buck that, in the dream, he can fix almost anything. And it all snowballs into buck realising he helped bobby, essentially by annoying him. And it's so important that at the end of the 'i made you mad and i made you laugh sometimes' speech, bobby calls that 'being buck', because it's essentially saying that buck helped bobby just by being himself. Again, this is the way buck's mind conjures it up, but it's no less important that he comes to the conclusion that being himself was enough. That he doesn't need to be someone else to help the people he loves (and to me that sentiment calls back to s4, him climbing that crane to protect everyone, and bobby saying that's who he is - not a compliment).

3. Eddie. This part may be the buddie shipper in me getting high on copium, but I think eddie's absolute absence from the dream was connected to him never stepping foot in buck's room irl, except to bring in chris. I mean, in the coma buck was with chim, irl chim is by his bedside. Coma, he's talking with bobby, irl bobby has busted out the rosary beads. It wasnt a hard rule as far as I can tell, though we know buck had some awareness of the room and the goings on, he could hear them (thats why i think the copium might play a part in this paragraph). But also, it feels so important that the people who tell buck explicitly to come back and get better are essentially proxys. Athena on behalf of bobby and Chris on behalf of eddie. And, in the coma, Eddie does not physically appear, but he is the first flash of irl buck remembers (not chim, but eddie's 'go get em') and also, of course, the last 'fix' of buck's, bringing the total of people he helped in a big way to three: maddie, bobby, and eddie. Doesnt really tell us anything about buddie, but it does reinforce the strong relationship between the characters, platonic or not. (Also, eddie 'pain is weakness' diaz crying even a single tear in public feels like a Big Thing).

4. Daniel. Honestly? The chase in the end of the episode and the subsequent argument between buck and daniel (who, yes, is also buck, but ill keep calling daniel to avoid confusion) might be one of my favourite scenes in the entire show. Maybe one of my favourite scenes in any tv show ive watched. First off, that part of buck represents essentially every self worth issue he has. It's the part of him that is the most broken, tells him he isn't needed, isn't wanted, he's spare parts that turned out defective (a sentiment buck has expressed out loud in s4 and it was the 118 reassuring him he is much more than spare parts). And all of this stems from buck's childhood, so it makes sense that it took on the appearance of daniel, since daniel was the source of it all, through no fault of his own, even long before buck knew of his existence. It's daniel's death that brings on the grief that swallows the buckleys and leads to buck's childhood being the way it was. Things would have been different had daniel survived, or so buck believes. Beyond that, daniel's ignorance of maddie's situation reflects on buck blaming himself for not seeing that his sister was suffering (which buck even says out loud in the kitchen scene in this episode). And, when the switch flips, daniel becomes buck, the part of buck that is broken and hateful not to others but to himself, buck borrows a lesson from bobby and manages to break free of his own low self worth. I dont think thats the end of that, but buck's jourmey this episode was all about realising that he is needed, so he could look in the mirror in this scene and say no, you're wrong, they don't want me gone, they care about me. And, as someone who deeply relates to having that voice in your head, and to buck in general, it's so powerful to see a character manage to overcome that. It's so powerful to see buck, textbook people pleaser that he is, realise that he's talking to himself and say 'oh you're me. I dont have to feel bad about not listening to you', and use the first real artifact of firefighting we've seen in the coma dream to break free and return to his life, his real family. And, oliver stark's acting in this scene, whew - buck being confused and emotional but still relentless in pursuing his goal, and the other buck being cold and cruel and also relentless in his insistence that he is just not worth it, not needed. Just - chef's kiss. I cant really explain how much that scene spoke to me, because it is tangled up in how much I relate to buck as a character, and thats a whole other can of worms.

5. Random things. I appreciated that the traumatic events that happened to buck over the course of the show were at least acknowledged. Given that most of the other characters (barring chim, I think) have had storylines about dealing with trauma, it's a bit glaring that buck never really did. Sadly, I think it's too late for that now, aside from if they do something with the lightning going forward. But I am glad they were mentioned, because the man went through a bombing and a tsunami within six months of each other, and it was never really talked about. The bombing led into the lawsuit plot and then was resolved, and the tsunami trauma storyline was about chris (not complaining, it's just how it was). I do wish those traumas had been explored, but I really do think we're past that point and am happy we're at least acknowledging them. (Also, the implication that the tsunami left him so deeply traumatised that it's present in his parents' coma house, supposedly a safe haven from everything real, as a ferris wheel that 'doesnt fit with anything' because trauma stands out in your mind, im-).

Another thing is the lighting, the cold, grey hues of the real hospital, versus warm colour in the coma dream which gradually gets colder the closer buck gets to waking up, and the return of warm lighting in the end, when buck wakes up in the hospital and his family is there to see him. Also, people irl dressed in drab, muted colours, vs. the characters in the dream being more vibrant, esp buck in that green sweater which btw was a gold star choice from the costume department.

Basically everyone put their whole pussy into this, from the writers to the crew to the actors, and while it's not the only time this has happened, I'm really glad it did.

The end. Pretty much. Ive probably managed to forget some things, and maybe I was Captain Obvious abour others, and wrong about some, but this episode made it right to the top of my list of favourites right away, and it'll probably keep me up tonight lmao. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, hope it made sense.

[autisticzukka]

what is this hakoda zuko arranged marriage you speak of? i am intrigued

okay so the long story short is that it’s a slight rebuttal of a popular post that is very fun but i find like... unrealistic in a really intriguing way like, how would this ACTUALLY play out. I’ve talked about it at length in my server a few times, and it’s one of those AU’s -- like the genderbend zukka ATLA rewrite or the zukki fic that starts with sokka failing to assassinate zuko -- that lives rent free in my head and I’ve written a couple thousand words for.

tw for like VERY unrequited zuko in love with hakoda and the inherent comedy of sokka being in love with his fire nation stepmom.

so here’s hakoda, chief of the southern water tribe, happily not-married to Bato. and here is a more balanced war, where the north and the south are actually  allies, rather than whatever the fuck they were in ATLA. Yue already has a fiance and the Northern chief refuses to remarry. that leaves hakoda responsible for biting the bullet and doing a political marriage even though, as he points out at length, he is an elected official and if he stops being elected it’s no longer a marriage with the chief of the south pole. intelligently but mostly selfishly motivated (yue’s fiance is his nephew, after all) pakku points out that its not like the fire nation knows... that. the fire nation is dumb. ozai’s stupid.

faced with such inarguable points hakoda stiffens his upper lip, pre-emptively ends things with bato on the understanding that if this is another kya situation they’ll get back together and that he’s still the most important person to him but the tribe comes first yada yada, and deals with katara throwing the mother of all tantrums. it is slightly softened by the fact that in return for him marrying the fire nation noble, a thing everyone can agree isn’t traditional, the north has finally agreed to train katara. she heads out before the wedding, in protest but also so as to not cause an international incident.

(on her way, she’ll find aang. with the war less dire, katara will be sympathetic towards his desire to live without committing violence, even if she deeply can’t relate. they’ll have a hot girl romcom summer of self discovery and coming to terms with the dichotomy between duty and love as they become master benders. at some point they pick up toph. they ARE a throuple.)

sokka meanwhile is like.. not cool with it.. but ? kind of relieved? like. he’s the eldest kid. he’s 18, and he’s been a man of the tribe as far as legalities for several years. it would have been entirely understandable if his dad had asked HIM to do it. he had his emotionally crushing romance with yue, and as much as he was like ‘im kind of a prince’, he finds he doesn’t actually want some of the responsibilities and demands that would bring. yue’s life sucks.

back in the fire nation, zuko never demanded a quest and never went on it. he’s spent years hardening into something that, while brittle, can survive the pressures of the court around him. he still has his scar. he still wants his father to love him, but he knows by now that it’s not something he’s capable of earning. he watches his sister, never the most stable person, start to have complete breakdowns of sanity once she hits puberty, and helps her cover for it and receive medical treatment on the down low. he’s the heir, but he lives knowing that if he was ever in a position to inherit his choices are to abdicate or have the baby sister who he raised kill him and destroy herself and the country in the process.

when he realizes the plan is to marry azula off rather than someone more reasonable-- mai is RIGHT there, for fucks sake-- he doesn’t realize ozai’s true intent is to fuck this up through malicious compliance and false shows of good faith. he panics, and does the zuko thing: he blurts out that this is unacceptable and immoral and she’s only 16 and Ozai sees the true opportunity for two birds with one stone. send zuko, let him piss someone off so badly he gets killed or divorced, and he gets rid of zuko from the line of succession permanently. there are those who are incredibly attached to teh idea of a firstborn for firelord, and it’s been a constant thorn in unpopular ozai’s side to nto be able to name azula his heir apparent without costly rebellion. but if he can taint him in the mind of the fire nation so much that birthright is easy to supercede-- yeah. this’ll work PERFECTLY.

so zuko is sent to marry hakoda, chief of the water tribe.

literally NO ONE was expecting it to be a member of Ozai’s immediate family. besides the fact that his oldest child is half hakoda’s age and his brother has 20 years on hakoda, it would have been sus as fuck - the treaty is not favorable enough to grant that kind of secession of interests. it becomes quickly apparent that this young man -- hakoda reminds himself of that repeatedly. not kid. not kid. young man. don’t think of him like a kid, it’s hard enough on both of us already. -- is not a horrible threat. he’s scared shitless and shakes with what he thinks is bravado. he’s desperate to make the marriage work. he’s desperate to not go home. he’s got a giant fucking scar on his face from where the fire lord punished him for some grievous but unstated offense.

zuko “daddy issues” fire nation sees his husband to be and, despite being scared shitless, immediately begins to soften a little. like... he’s not nearly as scary as he thought he’d be. his face can be stern, but it just as easily breaks into huge smiles, and his eyes are crinkled with laughter. he’s incredibly handsome. and his biceps are. his biceps. are. his hands are...

like. zuko thinks. okay. maybe. maybe his marriage duties. won’t be so horrible as he thought. maybe he’s ready for this. and he knows what to expect, Uncle had discreetly provided him the means and the contacts to acquire an intimate education in the whirlwind of activity that was the two months before leaving. and like, once he’d gotten past the nerves, it was often even... good? or at least... not bad? he thinks that even if hakoda isn’t a professional expert, he has a certain.... je ne sais quoi, if you will.

((DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF))

sokka sees his new stepfather and immediately falls in love because he’s that kind of dumb bitch. (the core of this au is that i cant breathe thinking about sokka falling in love with his hot young stepmom his age who his dad doesnt even want to fuck. like. i CANT. sokka masturbates to ‘hand caught in the washing tub’ fantasies which are even more absurd for requiring zuko to be DOING LAUNDRY. i find it so funny.)

bato watches them at the wedding feast while hakoda is very clearly trying to treat zuko as an Equal Adult Partner and mostly managing to seem like someone having a serious conversation with a seven year old about the game they’ve made up. zuko is clearly enamored with it, soaking up the attention, blushing and doing his best to Bravely Flirt, which at one point includes awkwardly attempting to feed Hakoda by hand. bato has to excuse himself to have a teary eyed giggle, hoping that Kya is in the spirit world looking down and laughing with him. he can’t resent the kid even a little bit, when hakoda is sitting there looking so incredibly fucking befuddled as to what he’s supposed to do with this star struck infant he’s legally wed to

anyways all of this... is very funny. their wedding night... is less so. zuko does not take the rejection from hakoda very well, especially because he’d been caught wanting. HE’S the one who should be rejecting hakoda. and he catastrophizes almost immediately about his potential value to the water tribe, his future treatment, that endless inescapable freezing cold loneliness is the good ending for him here... hakoda, meanwhile, drops zuko off at his home, reassuringly informs him that there’s NOTHING else expected of him and he will be well taken care of, and books it to bato’s. bato refuses to let him in on grounds of ‘you can’t sleep under the same shelter as me on your wedding night to that kid, have a fucking brain’, and he ends up crashing at sokka’s.

sokka, who had KNOWN that his dad wouldnt, but also upon seeing zuko and zuko’s awkward flirting was like... but how COULDNT he???? sokka is relieved.

the core of this fic is that i find it endlessly hilarious for zuko to try and seduce his husband while sokka simps around zuko and bato tries to be heartbroken or betrayed but mostly ends up with a giant case of hysterical schadenfreude. but the thing that CLINCHED it for me, like THE scene. several years after being married, settled into their life. they’re partners and they see each other as people. and zuko just fucking snaps one night

he just kisses him, desperate and clawing and climbing and maybe a little drunk. he knows hakoda is going to push him away, maybe even hit him, but he doesn’t care anymore, he doesn’t care. he can do anything he wants to him as long as he just-- finally does something. zuko is 21 and married to the surface of the sun and the surface of the sun jr is his best friend and clearly in love with him-- so clearly not even zuko can miss it-- and like. listen. listen. zuko is not a patient person. but he’s been patient for this. he waited and he matured and he is a fucking amazing husband and he wants this, he wants him. he wants to be wanted.

but hakoda doesn’t push him away. hakoda doesnt yell at him, or hit him. hakoda gentles the kiss into something soft and closed lipped. he pulls away slowly, and his eyes are so sad for zuko, so pitying. he strokes his cheek with the back of his hand so gently. he says, I’m sorry. I don’t want you.

and zuko daddy issues fire nation swallows

and he nods

and he leaves, even though its his own fucking house

and he knows he’s never going to be good enough

like FUUUCK i am OBSESSED WITH THAT

[imaginesofeverykind]

Come back for me || Peter Parker x Reader ||

Character: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

Fandom: MCU/SM:HC

Warnings: Spoilers??? LIke if you haven't seen the movie (will keep posting this warning until it’s out on Blu-Ray) ANGST

Request: YASSSS by my bean @rafeadderall [OMG OK A PETER PARKER IMAGINE, where like the reader knows and supports peter for bein spider-man but maybe it's used against him and she's hurt? Cliché yes but how about the reader like refuses to see peter because she's all scarred and shit and they break up I guess BUT THEN AT THE END ITS ALL CRYING AND MENTAL BREAKDOWNS AND FLUFF BEVAUSE WHO DOESNT LIKE ANGST]

Prompt: You and Peter Parker were anything but ordinary as a couple, you supported him as the web-slinging hero of Queens, however, the tables are turned when you get caught in the cross fire and end up seriously injured.

Tags: @deans-angel-of-thursdays 

Word Count: 1, 657

It had roughly been three months since Y/N found out her boyfriend, Peter Parker, was Spider-Man. At first, she was mad, then she accepted it after a week of not talking to him. He couldn’t blame her at all for it, but he was glad she came to an understanding eventually. 

For three months, Y/N helped Spider-Man gather intel when he asked for it and even went out for recon missions. In the beginning, he was against the idea of getting involved but as soon as she tried to argue that ‘Oliver Queen would be nothing as Green Arrow without Felicity Smoak - and I’m your Felicity Smoak’ he found it hard to reject that statement. 

Currently, Y/N pressed her phone to her ear as she tapped her foot impatiently on the ground. “You got eyes on any of those guys in the pictures I sent you?” Peter’s voice asked, crisp from the microphone Tony Stark had placed inside the Spider-man suit. She peered up ahead, eyeing the exact person he was talking about, she flicked down the shades resting on top of her head and hummed in response. 

Wearing sunglasses always made her feel like a spy of sorts but also helped her remain hidden in plain sight. “Seated centre, the left-hand side toward the front of the ferry and on the top tier.” She informed, slouching in her seat as she tried to remain as civilian like as possible among others on the Staten Island Ferry. 

“Great work, I’m dropping in on your right - thank you.” He stated, she peered out the window seeing if she could spot her boyfriend clad in the red and blue suit, however, didn’t manage to snag a glimpse. “You’re welcome - so I was thinking Chinese for dinner? I know this great place on 178th street, has the best Mongolian beef in Queens.” 

Peter chuckled at her, his heart warming with her words. “Sounds Perfect - all right, I can see the target, but he’s talking to someone are you able to get a closer look?” Y/N nodded with a hum, standing up casually and strolling on past the two men they had eyes on. She pretended to look out the window, lowering her phone from her ear as to not look suspicious.

She walked back to her seat, and brought the phone to her ear once more, “definitely not any of the guys in the picture you sent me... could be a buyer for the weapons - or manufacturer?” Waiting momentarily there was no response, “Peter?” she whispered his name, another beat of silence before he answered, “sorry, I heard them mention a white pickup truck - was sending drony down there... so he’s no one familiar - oh woahwoahwoah - hey, our guy’s on the move.” 

Y/N looked up and saw the guy from the picture up and leave, abandoning the man he was ‘not-so-subtly-but-kinda-subtly’ talking to. “I think we’ve got buyers, sellers and the weapons all in one place Y/N, we could bust these guys for good.” 

“Perfect... So I’ll book a reservation for dinner at six then?” She grins, which made Peter grin and his chest constrict. God, he loved Y/N. And he was so happy she was able to provide a helping hand where necessary, he wouldn’t be able to do it without her. “Dinner at six, fantastic. I love you.” 

She smiled, bringing her lips between her teeth to stop herself from smiling more, “I love you too, go get em’ cowboy.” Peter chuckled, inhaling a deep breath and ending the call with Y/N as he began his attempt to thwart the arms deal occurring at the back of the ferry. 

As soon as he hung up, Y/N wasted no time in planning their dinner as she had promised, eager to have finally put an end to these weapons deals. Once she ended the call she immediately notices the older gentleman who was speaking to their ‘target’ not even five minutes ago get up, gritting his teeth with a snarl on his face.

Watching him walk past she tried to make it subtle that she wasn’t following, “-now where are you going...” she murmured to herself, keeping at a safe distance as not to appear suspicious. Y/N followed him all the way to the bottom tier of the ferry - which all the vehicles were located and Spider-Man was already handling the thugs. 

The man stopped just short of a white van, eyeing the scene in front of him. Whilst Peter was taunting the thugs, he turns and see’s the man staring at him - but it wasn’t that which shocked him, had him frozen in place and his chest constricted. The biggest mistake he made was shouting her name, out of pure shock and terror, “Y/N!” 

The man swivelled in his spot and eyed her, he had no idea the young girl was following him. But clearly - by this short interaction - Spider-Man knew her personally, and he would try his best to exploit that. Y/N was swift on her feet as she quickly side stepped away from him and darted toward Peter. 

“What are you doing, get back upstairs-” Peter instructed only he was cut off by an entire team of undercover FBI agents swarming the back area of the Ferry. “Freeze! FBI!” Instinctively Peter stood in front of Y/N, keeping his arm in front of her as he spoke, “wait - what do you mean FBI?” How did the FBI know of this weapons deal, it perplexed Peter.

He had no time to question why they were here as the sound of metal being ripped apart grabbed his attention. His heart sank, all he had to see for his spirits to fall immediately was the slightest section of the grotesque wings from the relentless vulture figure. 

He tore apart the van and flew at an intimidating speed with one of the high-tech super weapons equipped in his hands. Peter’s eyes widened, “hey - hey, get out of the way - get out of the way!” He beckoned to the agents but it was no use, the vulture had shot a bright purple laser in their direction whilst flying toward them. 

Y/N looked in horror as she had no idea what she got herself in. Peter pushed her out of the way, as well as two other FBI agents to safety. Only, the vulture was quick and agile, swooping over Peter attempting to drop a car on him and yanking Y/N into the air. 

His metal talons pierced her shoulders causing her to cry out in pain, she tried frantically to free herself but it was no use. “No!” Peter screamed out, outstretching his hands and slinging out his webs to try and bring the vulture down, he shot out two webs, launching himself off the ferry and kicking the clad in black thug.

It was enough to stun him momentarily, Peter gripped Y/N by the waist, shooting a web to the back of the ferry and slinging her back to safety, she clutched onto him tightly, a searing pain in her shoulders. “Y/N you gotta get out of here-”

“Look out!” Y/N shoved both of them out of the way as another purple beam headed right toward them. Peter gestured for her to move back as he aimed his web to latch onto the Vultures weapon, “activate taser webs!” Electricity surged up through his web and onto the weapon, which conducted it through the Vulture’s suit. It started to spark and wheeze as it began to fail, he let go of the weapon, letting the tension from Peter’s web hurl it back onto the ferry.

Due to the electrical current from the taser webs, the gun started shooting out short bursts of energy all over the place, panicked, Peter tried his hardest to stop the blasts with a thick coat of webbing. He turned to the vulture, who simply stated, “you’re messing with things you don’t understand,” before flying upward and out.

“Peter.” Y/N squeaked, grasping the hero’s attention. He spun, immediately he paled - not that anyone could see - and his blood went cold. She clutched her stomach, her chest heaved and a pained expression masked her typically happy and carefree face Peter was so used too. “no...no-no-no...”

She stumbled backwards into the wall, Peter darted across to her bringing her hand in his as she slid down the metal surface. Tears pooled in her eyes, pain coursing through almost every part of her body, “Pete...” she whispered, her voice hoarse and her eyes wide, “I-I can’t feel my legs.” coughing, blood spurted from her mouth. 

“Y/N... hey look at me...” Peter’s lip quivered, tears welled in his eyes. “You’re gonna be okay... you’re gonna be fine, we’re gonna go to dinner at that Chinese place on 178th street... and you’re gonna be okay... you’re okay...” Peter rambled, he wasn’t sure who he was trying to reassure, himself or Y/N. She shook in his grip, her hand gripped Peter’s tightly. 

Blood dribbled from her mouth and she looked desperately at Peter, trying to look into his eyes through his mask. Behind him, in among the webs, the high tech weapon hit an unstable pressure, imploding in on itself before bursting an intense purple beam that ripped through the entire main frame of the ferry in half. Y/N brought her hand up to Peter’s cheek, feeling the texture of the mask, “go get em’ cowboy.” she whispered, a smile on her face. 

“I’ll come back for you.” Peter sobbed, letting go of her hand had never been so heartbreaking before. He picked her up carefully, carrying her to the second tier of the ferry before he went off to try and stop the ferry from sinking. 

[mylutteoheart]

Luna gets to know that her real parents are dead thats why she was adopted. She feels sad and guilty because she resented them for not wanting her. She becomes this lifeless person the complete opposite of her self. She is like a "zombie". Matteo tries to cheer her up but he doesnt know why she is like that and no one knows why she is in that zombie state. And lutteo are not dating it happens after the break up. In the very end he helps her to live again. Full of angst. Hope you write about ff

Here I am, fullfilling another request. Sorry you had to wait so long but I hope you like it. There’s some angst in it, but there are also good things in it.

I’ll get to the rest of the requests later this week when I have more time. But until then enjoy this pretty angsty Lutteo fic. It’s also almost 2k words so it’s pretty long.

find my other fics here

The One Who Saved Me

Luna didn’tknow what came over her when she got to know the truth about her birth parents.She felt so many emotions at the same time. When she heard everything, she wasin a state of disbelief. She couldn’t believe how she thought about her realparents before, she resented them because she thought that they left herbehind. She felt guilty but she was also confused at the same time. How is itpossible that she’s señora Sharon’s niece? How is it possible that her birthparents died and she survived that horrible fire? Even though she got an answerto all of her questions, she didn’t feel any better.

She stillfelt terrible about what she used to think. She’s even a little ashamed. She didn’tknow how to deal with all of the emotions she felt, so she decided to not feelat all. She thought that it would make her feel better. In some way she did.

She shuteverything and everyone out, she didn’t even feel the happiness she felt everytime she skated. There was almost nothing inside of her. She didn’t sleep, shebarely ate. She goes through life like it’s a routine, everything she does. Shedoes out of automatism. She even pushed all of her friends away. Nina was theonly one to stay. She heard her best friend talk to her, but she had no ideawhat she was saying. Her friend asked her a million times what happened but shenever got an answer. Nobody knows what’s going on with her, she barelyunderstands what she’s doing.

Just likeevery other day, she went to skate after school. She did a couple of tricks,but she didn’t feel the joy. She just skated and nothing else.

Matteonoticed her on the rink, he was very worried about her. Nobody had any idea asto why she changed so suddenly. Her friends talked about it when she wasn’taround. They called her a zombie. Because honestly, she looked like one. Her skinso white, you can almost see the bones behind the skin. Huge bags under hereyes. He even notices that she lost a lot of weight recently. He’s beenwatching her from a distance for a while now. He still isn’t over her, but itseems like she doesn’t care about anything at all. That hurt him a lot.

That’s whenhe decided to try and talk to her, she’s been sad for weeks now. He couldalways cheer her up whenever she wasn’t feeling so well. He’s hoping that hewill do it this time again. So full of hope, he skated over to her.

“Hello,chica delivery. You look like you need some cheering up” he put on a big smile.She just ignored him and continued to skate. He followed her, not giving upjust yet: “Oh, come on, Luna. I know you’ll feel better once you dance with me”he said, teasing her a little. She used to love that so much. “It workedseveral times before” he held out a hand for her to take it. But she turnedaround and skated away from the rink. His hope turned into a sudden sadness. Herrejection had felt like someone had punched in his stomach. He had no idea whatto do. He wanted to see her smile again, he wanted to see her energy backinside of her. It seemed to have escaped her. He wanted her to laugh again, healways loved the sound of that. He missed everything that made Luna well… Luna.Everything that made Luna who she was, is gone now. He didn’t recognize thegirl that looked like Luna. She looked like her but he knew that this wasn’treally her.

He hasn’tseen her since that day she rejected him, it’s been a few days now. He wasworried that she had locked herself up in her room so he went to check up onher. He went straight to the Sharon’s mansion after school. When he knocked onthe door of the personnel entrance, Miguel opened the door. He greeted Matteowith a small smile, it didn’t reach his eyes though: “Matteo, what are youdoing here?” he seemed surprised to see him.

“Luna hasn’tbeen to school for a few days, I came to bring her homework” Matteo made up theperfect excuse to see Luna.

“Thank you,I’ll give it to her” he did a gesture to take the papers out of Matteo’s hands,but he refused.

“I’d ratherbring it herself. She needs some explanation with the tasks and I think it’sbest that I give that to her.”

Miguel washesitating: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, my daughter doesn’t really wantto see anyone right now.”

“Please,señor Valente. I just want to see if she’s okay.”

Luna’s dadsighed: “Okay, fine, come in.” He opened the door more so that Matteo couldenter.

“Thank you.”

“She’s inher room” he said and went back to helping Monica in the kitchen.

He knockedon her door, no one answered. So he opened the door and looked at Luna’s bed. Shewas lying down, looking at the ceiling. It looked kind of creepy because sheseems to be staring at the ceiling like there’s more than just a white color,there wasn’t.

“Hello, Icame to bring your homework.” When Luna didn’t move at all, he walked over toher. Trying to get her attention. “Luna, is everything okay?” he tried, hereally hoped he would get an answer after the millionth time. The only thingshe did was turn around with her back towards Matteo. Matteo couldn’t take thisany longer, something had to change. He had no idea how he was going to dothis. But he’ll find a way. “I’ll leave your homework on your desk. When youhave any questions about it, you can always call me. After that, he left. Now hewould go back home to try to find a way to make her feel happy again.

A weekpassed by after Matteo visited her house. He laid out dozens of plans, none ofthem would work. But his last plan seemed one of the best. He knew that sheloved competing but she didn’t enter any competition in a very long time so hedecided to sign her up for the next one. It was one for couples, he signed himselfup to skate with her. He made Simón text Luna to say that there’s an emergencyat Jam & Roller. That way, she would finally get out of her room. After all,she couldn’t leave Jam & Roller behind for anything.

Someway,Simón got her on the skating rink and Matteo was already waiting for her there.She looked around confused, when Matteo arrived at her side, she asked: “What happened?Simón said that someone needed my help on the rink.”

“That someoneis me” he smiled a shy smile.

“What? Areyou serious? You’re king of the rink, you don’t need anyone” she said in a verybitter tone.

“You’rewrong. I need you, I need you to smile again. That’s why I signed you up forthe upcoming skating competition.”

“You’re kidding,right? There’s no way I’ll be participating in any competition” she soundedlike she wanted to leave immediately. She turned around but he grabbed her armbefore she could skate away again. He promised himself that he won’t let her gothis time. He did it once, never again. He has regretted this mistake eversince he made it.

“You willbe participating. Even if you don’t want to. I know you used to love thesecompetitions so much.”

“Well, I don’tanymore, okay? Can you let me go now, I don’t want to be here. Can’t you justleave me alone?” she was getting angry.

“No way, I’mnot letting you go this easily. This isn’t you, Luna. This is not the girl I fellin love with. The girl I know and love is full of energy and loves to skate andshe would do anything for her friends. She is full of life. You changed a lotlately and I would like to know what made you turn into such a mean andlifeless person. Luna, tell me what happened, I want to help you” he startedyelling. He was tired of this, he wanted to go back to the way it was before.

“Why do youcare so much? Just leave me be, Matteo. I don’t want you to help me. I want youto leave me alone for good” she was yelling as well, they drew the attention ofall the skaters around them.

“Listen tome. You won’t get away this time. I’m going to help you, even if you don’t wantto.”

For thefirst time in a long time, Lune felt that something was trying to find its wayto the surface. She thought it was happiness. A little spark of happinesswelled up inside of her. She had no idea where this came from. She had no ideathat she was ever going to feel it again. She had given up on feeling at all. Butmaybe, just maybe… she can feel again, the only one who will be able to achievethis is Matteo. Then it hit her why she felt this way, why he was the one tomake her feel again. She pushed her feelings for him as deep as possible eversince she found out the truth. She felt like she didn’t deserve to feel thisway, she didn’t deserve to have these kind of emotions because she thoughthorrible things about her birth parents while all they ever did, was love her. Butsince his confession, since he told her he loved her. She thought that she diddeserve this, that she is given another chance at love, not the kind of loveyou feel for your birth parents. But the kind of love she feels for him, thekind of love she has never felt before he walked into her life.

She cameback to reality. When she looked up at him, she saw him looking expectantly ather. He has been waiting for an answer for a while now. She didn’t know what tosay at first, all she could say was: “Thank you” she forced a little smile.

He smiledback at her, happy to get a smile out of her. His plan is working.

“I love youtoo” she finally said. He was surprised to hear that coming out of her mouth.

“You meanthat?” he asked a little insecure.

“I do” sheput on a big smile now.

“So are youparticipating in the competition with me or not?”

“Of course,I will.” He leaned in to hug her and when they go back a little. They look intoeach other’s eyes for a while. After what felt like forever, he finally leanedin and they kissed for a very long time with a lot of love and passion. They bothfelt like they were at home now and Luna even felt herself coming back to life.“Let’s go” she held out her hand and he took it. They started to make up achoreography. He was happy to have his chica delivery back, he was happy to seethe Luna he fell in love with again.