#and it definitely doesnt mean Dick hated Jason and Jason believed Dick hated him

[cherryredribbon]

i like to think about the specific ways each member of the batfamily protects their secret identity

bruce: obviously, we've got the brucie wayne thing going on. also helps that through a very meticulously planned gala almost entirely for this purpose, bruce wayne and batman (dick is under the cowl, having way too much fun pretending to be batman) were photographed together. the general consensus is that these two are on-again-off-again exes, as the picture caught bruce staring unimpressively at dick!batman while dick is full grinning.

dick: both nightwing and richard grayson have active and fairly popular social media accounts. and whilst the nightwing account openly responds to any news, comments, or posts about richard grayson, the richard grayson account resolutely and absolutely ignores any and all mentions of nightwing.

considering the accounts have similiar feel-good fun vibes, (as is the case when ran by the same person) the general public has taken this to mean that the two have unpleasnt history. are they ex-lovers, bitter rivals, or worse? the gothamites certainly dont want to know, not wanting to disturb what is frankly a fragile peace between their two golden boys.

jason: doesnt. openly and loudly states that red hood is infact jason todd, bruce waynes dead son who was killed in one of jokers sprees. the internet does not believe him, and even the ones that do are unconvinced after dick and bruce do a press conference expressing "their sadness that people are impersonating their darling baby brother and son, oh tears tears tears" this absolutely drives jason into a fit of rage and that really doesnt help his case either because jason pre-pit was a darling baby that said things like "robin is magic :D"

tim: has a open and public feud with red robin that takes up way too much time but god dammit he is committed now. to the wider internet timothy drake and red robin are bitter twitter rivals that hate each other because one day tim deliriously tweeted "gotham is so silly like our vigilantes are named after restaurants and are 12" or something along those lines but to the batfam who watched as tim frantically tweeted from two seperate accounts tim and red robins feud is something is he thought of and executed within the same minute

damian: i really think the only thing keeping damians identity is just the widespread denial that this little kid who is barely 5 feet tall could be robin. like everyone has kind of a sneaking suspicion, it is definitely a popular conspiracy theory, but at the end of the day not even the local gothamites want to admit that this little kid with a sword could be robin even tho ALL the evidence point to yes. tim and babs also occasionally checks on the whole secret identity thing but both of them know there is nothing more powerful than denial.

[bigskydreaming]

So obviously, like, I make a big deal out of Dick Grayson’s intentions when naming himself Robin in the first place, and how it was meant as an homage and tribute to his parents and the generations of Flying Graysons before them, and that’s a huge part of the reason he was so pissed when Bruce gave it away without consulting him and why its kinda messed up that everyone characterizes Tim as massively resenting Dick for making Damian Robin, etc, etc....

But okay, like....Dick Grayson was most other child heroes/sidekicks’ inspiration, not to mention Jason and Tim’s (though Tim of course was just as influenced by Jason’s turn as Robin, if not more).

And then, my problem is...whenever talk of inspirations and legacies and mantles and all that comes up, the question becomes - who inspired Dick in the first place?

Because, I mean....the answer isn’t Batman.

THAT’S why the origins of the Robin persona are so important, because like, Dick wasn’t inspired to become a hero, the KIND of hero he was, because of Bruce. He just wasn’t. He loves, respects and admires Bruce of course, sure, that’s a given. But one of the primary characterizations of Dick across ANY canon or medium is that he’s NEVER wanted to be Batman. He HATES it when he has to wear Bruce’s mantle. Not because he doesn’t respect it or what it stands for, but because its not him, and it never was.

THAT’S why he was never Batboy, never modeled himself as a younger version of his mentor like Kid Flash, Aqualad, Wonder Girl, Speedy, etc all did. Because he wanted to work with Bruce, sure, he wanted to be a hero like Bruce, as in a person who does heroic stuff and helps and protects people.....but not in the ways Bruce did it, and not for the reasons or with the intentions that Bruce had for his own costumed persona. Robin was specifically created to be everything Batman wasn’t, because Dick, being one of the many survivors of tragedies in Gotham who fell through the cracks and would have been left behind and swallowed up by the system if not for a hero’s intervention.....Dick was aware of how catching the bad guys and putting them away, seeing justice served, like, it was important, but it wasn’t THE most important thing. Not to everyone. 

Catching the bad guys only fixes a tiny part of what happened. It was Bruce’s solution to things - from the second the Graysons died, that was his answer, that was what he was sure was going to help Dick move on......but Bruce’s answer wasn’t Dick’s answer. Catching or killing Tony Zucco wasn’t ever going to help Dick heal or move on, because the murder of his parents was only PART of his personal tragedy. The other part was how it resulted in him being ripped away from everything he knew and everyone else he loved, never allowed to go back to the life he’d always intended to live, growing up performing and entertaining alongside his family, like all their family before them....instead forced to change basically everything about himself in order to fit into a structured life of routines he found boring and pointless and not remotely what he wanted out of life.

Robin was Dick’s answer to all that. Being Robin was the only thing that allowed Dick to heal, because it was the one and only way in which he got to take back a piece of control over his own life. If he couldn’t go back to his past, to the circus, to his family, then he’d bring all that into the present with him, carry it forward. Continue his family’s traditions in the only way he could think of now, fighting crime alongside Batman in the signature colors of the Flying Graysons, remaining true to that title by swinging from grappling lines rather than a trapeze....but still committed to the same work his family had made their livelihood for generations, the same work he’d always intended to continue in some form himself: making peoples’ lives better, just by his presence. 

Entertaining, performing, not out of insecurity or to cover things up, but because that was what he’s always seen himself as born to do. To leave people a little happier than they were when they first encountered them. Cheering up the victims of crimes with his jokes and laughter and brightness while Batman dourly scouted for clues and conferred with the police. Giving them a reason to smile even on what might have been the worst day of their lives, otherwise. Making jokes and puns while fighting the bad guys, his own way of pushing back against the darkness of Gotham - by laughing at villains of the day, by refusing to let someone like the Joker be the only one who had any reason to laugh in Gotham.

And not one bit of that came from Batman. Bruce didn’t inspire Robin, didn’t inspire Dick - Batman only gave Dick an example of how his past, his skills, his purpose in life could be adapted to allow him to continue on in the spirit of his family, to ensure they lived on through him, not just in body but in spirit as well. Zucco, the system, they could take the boy out of the circus, but he refused to let them take the circus out of him before he was damn good and ready. They could physically keep him away from a trapeze and out of the center ring of a circus, but no one was going to tell Dick Grayson when he was or wasn’t allowed to be a Flying Grayson, with everything that entailed.

Except....that’s exactly what Bruce ended up doing.

And that’s why I will always call that a greater betrayal than anything that happened with any of the Robins since, despite any of their (usually still quite valid) issues with how the mantle ended up passed on from them. Because Dick was no different from any other sidekick or child hero in that he built his identity as a hero around the heroes who inspired him to follow in their footsteps....its just that for him, those heroes were his parents. They were the ones Robin was trying to imitate, live up to, make proud. That’s why Dick always insisted on being called Bruce’s partner and not his sidekick. Sure, he absolutely loved being Bruce’s partner, but that doesn’t mean that ultimately that wasn’t just a means to an end for him....a way to ensure he was allowed to keep going out at night doing what he damn well intended to do anyway. He wanted to work WITH Bruce but he never wanted to BE Bruce. Because he already had a concrete vision of who he wanted to be like, who he wanted to be.

(And of course, this is also why I always get so annoyed with the take that Bruce didn’t bring up adopting Dick earlier in life because he didn’t want to replace his parents, he was trying to respect Dick’s feelings towards them, etc.....because uh.....that doesn’t really track, considering that co-opting the Robin identity and annexing it as part of the Batman identity, BRUCE’S to take and then dole out as he wished.....like, hello, dumbass, what did you think telling a kid that you were forbidding him from using HIS mother’s nickname, HIS family’s colors, etc, like....what the hell do you even call that other than replacing Dick’s parents and disrespecting Dick’s connection to them - you pretty much literally told him there that screw who inspired it and what his reasons for being Robin were, Robin still only existed according to Bruce’s say-so).

Anyway. And yeah, that’s also why I’m eternally grumpy at the usual fandom take that Tim does and should resent Dick for ‘taking Robin away’ and giving it to Damian, because....a) that’s not really what happened, Dick literally said that he couldn’t treat Tim like a sidekick because he saw them as equals, that it was time for Tim to figure out his own identity and see who he was outside of Robin, who he’d become thanks to his time in that role.

And also b) because.....like, it was Dick’s right, like it or not. That situation WASN’T comparable with Bruce taking it from Dick in the first place, or giving it to Jason, because the problem there wasn’t that it happened at all, it was that Robin wasn’t Bruce’s to take, or restrict, or regulate, let alone give away. Fire Dick from being his partner, yeah, sure, whatever. But telling him to hang up the last vestige of his family and former life that Dick had managed to hold onto all this time despite every attempt to take it away from him? And that’s the difference with what happened with Tim, because Dick was clear - this had nothing to do with his respect for Tim’s abilities or not thinking he was good enough to fight at his side, it was about thinking Tim was TOO good to be stuck JUST fighting at Dick’s side. 

And while Tim is completely justified in feeling any way he wants about not being Robin anymore, it was after all a huge part of his own identity.....like.....you don’t get to resent the guy who created it to preserve his own heritage and family identity, for having the nerve to think like....it should be up to him who wears it and when and why. If that doesn’t work for someone, if Jason or Tim had a problem with the idea that Dick specifically should always have more of a say in where the Robin mantle goes, like....that’s valid! BUT in the sense of like....they could’ve insisted on making their own identity/mantle in order to be Bruce’s partner/sidekick, if they didn’t want the originator of THAT particular mantle to have more of a right to it and its succession, ultimately.

Especially because the whole reason Dick made Damian Robin was he recognized that Damian needed it, in the same way he had needed it. Jason becoming Robin had nothing to do with Dick, and Tim approached Dick with his own perception of Robin and what it meant already firmly cemented in his mind - Robin was the light to Batman’s darkness, a necessary flip side of the coin that balanced Bruce out and kept him focused. Again, its totally valid for Tim to view Robin as whatever he viewed it as, for it to mean whatever it meant to him.....the problem is in acting like Dick’s perception of it should ever reflect that, or be altered to include that, or become less important than Tim or other Robins’ take on it as time went on. Not when Dick made it as a time capsule for his family and history, to make sure that WASN’T forgotten just because there were no more Flying Graysons on the trapeze anymore. 

So when you factor in that for Dick, Robin always meant family and always will mean family, his offering it to Damian was him doing the only thing he knew of that would give Damian a reason to stay, now that Bruce was dead. Robin was the only thing in the world that Dick had, that didn’t come from Bruce. As Bruce’s son, Damian was already entitled to anything that they inherited from Bruce, the same as his brothers....anything Dick gave Damian that came from Bruce originally, Damian honestly would’ve been justified in saying he had just as much right to it as Dick already. It wouldn’t have meant anything. Robin meant something though, because it was Dick making clear to Damian that he wanted him to stay, not just because Dick felt obligated to Bruce, to take care of Damian....but instead, Dick was saying he didn’t view it as obligation, he was offering Damian the one part of HIS family, Dick’s family, that Damian WASN’T already entitled to, by being part of Bruce’s.

Because Robin is a family tradition, always was. Its just not a WAYNE family tradition. Its just the latest version of the Flying Graysons, and thus all of Dick’s brothers became honorary Flying Graysons in his eyes the second he affirmed that they were Robin now, that he was okay with it, that he wanted them to be.

And you just....can’t cut out that one connection you have to the family with generations of history behind the mantle, that inspired it, that is the entire reason it exists for you to take up in the first place. Like, if you want to be part of a legacy, specifically, as in, you want to take up where a predecessor left off, you want to continue something that someone else started INSTEAD of starting something of your own, even something in a similar spirit and clearly inspired by it....well, you don’t get to pick and choose which parts of the legacy are worth acknowledging. Especially not when the person who created the mantle in the first place, specifically to carry on with his family’s legacy, is still around to have his own opinion on who currently needs it most.

Like don’t get me wrong. I love every single one of the Robins, including Stephanie, but in a comic book universe where the entire concept of legacies is given so much focus and priority, Robin ends up being a very weird outlier in that its originator and inspiration is only given as much weight as fans of his successors feel like giving at any given moment. Nobody ever writes fic or headcanons around the idea that upon Bruce coming back from the dead, he’d have just....no opinion on who should be Batman, let alone any right to have an opinion on that. Y’know? And again, its made all the more frustrating given that Robin’s the one mantle in the DC ‘verse that was created by its original holder as an homage/tribute to his family’s memory, rather than emblematic of some abstract idea or ideal.

*Shrugs* So yeah, I find myself very much in disagreement with most everyone in fandom on this one particular subject lol. Because I love Tim too! I do! And I’m definitely not saying that the other Robins weren’t just as iconic as Dick, just as deserving as the title or whatever, like I definitely don’t mean that any of them weren’t AS much Robin as Dick was.

Just that from an IN universe perspective, viewed from the POV of the characters, I think it just ends up being very skewed for any of the later Robins to act like they’re entitled to MORE say over Robin than Dick himself, when he’s the only connection any of them have or ever WILL have, to the ultimate origin and inspiration for it and everything its come to mean.....and that’s just....not Batman.

Its the Flying Graysons.

[scaryscarecrows]

Roots and Leaves, Pt. 8

All done!

“-son. Master Jason.”

Fuck, Alfred’s dead? The end is extremely fucking nigh.

But, if he’s going to be selfish (which got him into this, you’d think he’d learn)…at least he has company in…wherever this is.

His hands still hurt, though, which he finds very unfair.

“You are no better at feigning unconsciousness than you were at fifteen, sir.”

He’s not tryin’ to…

Why does Death look like his old bedroom. Is this some sorta ‘ease into it’ area?

“There you are.”

“Alfie?”

Alfred hasn’t changed one bit. Jason will bet that his mustache hasn’t even grown, or shed a hair, or anything.

“How are you-”

Alfred.

He hugs him and he hasn’t changed, not one goddamn bit. Alfred hugs him back, one hand cupping his neck and the other moving firmly up and down his spine. Alfred’s here, everything’s gonna be okay, at least for another minute…

The hand on his spine moves and his head’s tilted up with a soft, “Oh, my boy.”

It’s over. Any dignity he had is gone. He presses his face against Alfred’s chest (fabric softener Earl Grey home) and doesn’t even try to pretend he’s not crying. He’s never been able to keep anything from Alfred anyway.

“M’sorry.”

“Oh, my boy,” Alfred says again, and those sturdy hands press against his head and neck. “There is nothing to apologise for.”

He tries to take a few deep breaths, to get himself under control for fuck’s sake, and can’t. He can’t do it anymore.

But Alfred is a literal saint, and he doesn’t try to coax him to talk or to sit up or to do anything at all, even after his jacket must be soaked through. He just sits there, marginally more slumped than he usually is, and rubs a hand in slow, steady circles over Jason’s shoulders.

At some point, he senses a presence in the doorway, but before he can straighten up it’s gone again and now, without that motivation, it’s easier to just stay here where it’s safe and warm.

He eventually runs out of tears but his face is now wet and swollen and hot. His nose feels like it’s swollen shut and he’s been reduced to careful, thought-out breaths that rattle in his throat and burn in his chest. Sitting up is too much work.

Alfred props him up anyway and rubs a cool washcloth over his face before letting him take it and hold it against his now-puffy eyelids.

“That’s it, Master Jason.” If Bruce is Sherlock Holmes, then Alfred is Watson. They don’t deserve him. “That’s it. Deep breaths, there we are.”

“M’sorry, Alfie,” he forces out, voice strangled. “M’sorry-”

“That’s enough of that.”

“But-”

“I won’t hear any more of that.” Oh, boy. That’s the ‘you’re on thin ice and should just shut up’ voice. Even now, it’s scary and he doesn’t have the courage to go against it.

A straw presses against his lips-limeade-and Alfred continues, a little gentler now, “I cannot imagine that you purposefully buried yourself for any reason, Master Jason. Am I correct?”

He laughs. He can’t help it. It sounds so nice put like that.

“No. No, I…I didn’t. I didn’t.” He is not going to start crying again. He refuses. Sheila flashes behind his eyes, blonde and blue and red, and he presses the washcloth down hard enough to hurt. “I…she s-said. She said she was out. Sh-she said she was out, Alfred, I thought…just once…”

“From the beginning, Master Jason.” Calm, but making it very clear that he doesn’t have a choice. “Who is ‘she’?”

He swallows, knows he’s imagining something squirming at the back of his throat. Alfred waits.

“Sheila Haywood,” he finally whispers. “I…Bruce’s files…she might have been my mother.”

He doesn’t have to look to know Alfred’s got that little frown between his eyebrows, the one that says he’s deeply upset. Jason presses the washcloth tighter against his eyes, sparking colors, and his wrist is tugged at until the colors die off.

“I just…she approached me, Alfie, I swear, I didn’t…I just thought…” He swallows again, forces himself to let the washcloth fall to his lap. “M’tired of bein’ second choice, Alfred.”

He doesn’t have time to brace himself before he’s pulled back down and somehow…folded…so that he’s tucked against Alfred’s chest like he’s thirteen again and still fits.

“Jason Peter Todd,” Aw, shit. “you have never been second choice, do you understand?”

But…

Look. He’s very well aware that he wouldn’t be here if Dick hadn’t had that fallout with Bruce. And oh, boy, has he ever learned the Joys of Being the Second Child-‘Dick did this’, ‘Dick did that’, and on and on and on. He’s come to terms with that fact, it’s fine, whatever.

But arguing that point (or any point) with Alfred is a Bad Idea.

And. And he’s here, now, because Bruce…Bruce came to pick him up, when he asked. So. That means something, doesn’t it?

His head hurts.

Alfred sighs at his non-answer but lets it go for the time being.

“What happened with Miss Haywood?”

He’s not moving. He’s staying right here until this is all over.

“Some moron tried to hold up the grocery store…”

* * *

Jason feigns sleep for the rest of the day, until Bruce is out on patrol. Sneaking past the Batman isn’t impossible, but it’s definitely hard and with his hands almost completely useless, well…

The last thing he wants or needs is a lecture on Trust and Rushing Into Things and Dammit, Jason, This is What Got You Captured by the Joker. He knows that, thanks, Bruce.

(And yeah, okay, he knows lectures are Bruce’s way of saying I Love You, but some people swear a punch to the face is an I Love You, so.)

Sneaking past Alfred, on the other hand…now that really is impossible.

He’s halfway down the stairs when there’s an irritated, “A-HEM,” from behind him. Crap.

“I was thirsty?”

Alfred gets this expression that Jason will swear means he’s envisioning smacking him upside the head with a rolled-up newspaper. Yeah. Okay. Game’s up.

“I just…I need some time,” he says, eyes fixed on a knot in the wooden banister. “I can’t face him, Alfred, not now.”

Not for a long time, probably. Not without a massive blow-up on both sides and it’s better if no one else is around to be caught in that crossfire.

And besides. Right now, he just…his apartment may be kinda crappy, but it’s not haunted by a stupid kid who swore up and down that

“Being Robin gives me magic!”

“This is the best day of my life.”

There’s too many ghosts in this house.

Alfred comes forward and pats his shoulder.

“At least permit me to provide you with a few easy-to-reheat meals.”

“I’m okay-”

“Humor an old man.”

That is a trap. That is a trap, it’s just better to nod and neither protest or nor agree. And he’s got time, before Bruce gets back.

“Thanks, Alfred.”

“Hm.”

He’s ushered towards the kitchen. It hasn’t changed a bit-still homey and warm and with those same comfy stools by the counter. He remembers having after-school snacks there and chattering a mile a minute about ‘so Mister Pierce set his desk on fire in chemistry and it was so cool I gotta try that y’think B’ll let me-?’

“If I hear one word about you being out before those hands have healed, there is no power on Heaven or Earth that will spare you, is that clear?”

He believes. He believes.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” An icebox appears out of nowhere. “Do you need a ride?”

“No, I, uh…I called an Uber. I didn’t think I could drive.”

“Wise choice.” Alfred sets the icebox down and grips Jason’s arms. “You will always have a home with us, Master Jason. Remember that.”

He is not going to start crying again. He is not.

“Thanks, Alfred.”

* * *

The Uber guy is more interested in his radio than in Jason and that’s just fine. It means he’s not going to pester him, which means that he can twist around to watch Wayne Manor shrink into the distance through back window.

When he gets home, he opens his e-mail. Nothing new, but Sheila’s are still there. He deletes most of them.

But.

He can’t. Even now, after everything, he can’t bring himself to hate her. Not really.

He moves the remaining few to his ‘save it’ folder, where he won’t open them by mistake, and goes outside for a cigarette. Lighting it’s a pain, and there’s a few minutes that he’s terrified that he’s going to light the bandages on his hands on fire, but he manages it, in the end, and leans on the railing to watch the cars go by below.

In another unit, he can hear Mz. Melinda May cackling and a handful elderly voices swearing and demanding she be thrown out. Maybe he’ll go over there tomorrow, make sure she hasn’t downloaded a crap-ton of computer viruses again. (And yeah, okay, he wants to know about the yelling.)

There’s a sudden movement in the shadows across the street and he goes inside, turns on the TV. He’s halfway through an episode of Chopped when a red bar pops up on the bottom saying, Batman recaptures Harley Quinn, more at eleven.

A knot in his chest he didn’t realize was there loosens up and he pulls his blanket tighter around his shoulders.

“Thanks, B.”

THE END

[rason-rodd]

SUP! Seeming as requests are open could I PRETTY PLEASE request a Jason X reader fic? Maybe it could have Jason taking the reader out on a date somewhere. And he’s really awkward and dorky because HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DATE-. And maybe like super overly protective and the reader is so chill about it coz he’s just so adorkable >///

There you go. 100% fluff and funny. I hope you’ll like it ;-)

Warning: Language, Mention of alcohol, violence and sex.

An Adorkable Moron (Jason Todd x Reader)

“Start with the wide end of the tie on the right and the small end on the left. The tip of the small end should rest slightly above your belly-button…”

Hands struggling with the silk dark red tie, Jason’s blue eyes were occasionally glancing towards the screen of his computer to check if he was doing great. He was grumbling, frustrated, impatient and above all … stressed. How could a Windsor knot be that complicated, for fuck’s sake?

“ You have to be kidding me.” He heard an all too familiar snickering voice by the door and closed briefly his eyes to mumble a inaudible curse. Then, he glowered at the red-haired woman leant against the door frame that had dared disturb him. If his eyes could have killed, then Artemis Grace would be fucking dead by now… and possibly turned to ashes too. “You’re going to tell me that you can load and unload a gun in few seconds but you can not tie a tie.” “ I can tie a tie. I’m just … rusty.” He confessed as he let the fabric fall between his hands.Artemis chuckled briefly but eventually approached to help him. “There. Give it to me. Before you start sweating in your pathetically ironed black shirt.”“ What are you talking about? It’s perfectly ironed.” She glanced up at him as she knotted the tie around his neck with a look that meant everything. “I thought your butler would have taught you how to pass for a gentleman.” “Well he did teach me a few things but I never truly listened.”    “There. All done.” She said as she adjusted the tie. “Now you definitely look like a penguin.”“ What?” He replied, obviously offended. “Yeah. But I’m guessing if you’re bringing your date to the Ice Lounge Bar that it should be fine.”       “ Grayson advised me on the clothes to wear tonight.”  “ Okay A/ Did he tell you to look like a member of Green Day with a pitchfork up your bottom? B/ As far as I know, he’s not a fashion icon.”         “ Alright” Jason sighed, pitching the bridge of his straight nose. “Three things. One, it’s a poker up your ass, Ar. Two, since when do you know Green Day? and three, You’re right.”         “ Of course I am … and don’t you ever underestimate my knowledge of your edgy musical taste again.” Jason shrugged and decided to stop he conversation right there. He knew he would not have the last word. “Where are you taking her/him anyway tonight?”     “ Remember the restaurant I brought you on Valentine’s day?”       Artemis’ green eyes widened in shock. “ You men are so lame.”

So he changed everything. No more stupid tie. Black shirt, fine but with a pair of jeans. “Be yourself … I mean, sort of.” His Amazon friend had said. Sort of? What did ‘sort of’ mean?”     A bouquet in his hands, he walked up the steps leading to your apartment three by three as he cleared his throat, trying to think of the things he would say when you open the door. “You look gorgeous, tonight. No ravishing? Too much? Splendid? No … Shit” And for a second he wished he was Dick. He wished he had some real self-confidence and not this ridiculous insecurity hidden behind his bad boys looks. He wished he had that soft and charming perfectly white smile that would allow him to stay quiet and still be sure to have the chance to go on a second date.  He wished he had that same lame humour that inexplicably made every girl laugh and not this deadpan sarcasm. Actually, he wished there was no date at all.

He hated dates! He hated first dates even more. He had been on three dates in his all life and not even once had it been a success. Artemis. Isabel. Essence (what is a date?). All failures! He had never brought the girl back home. Meeting someone in a bar, around a nice beer and chat that was more his thing. Not this wooing stuff.

Jason sighed and finally rang at the door. His hands were so sweaty. Why were they sweaty? “Damn it” He wiped them quickly on his jeans, placing the bouquet between his legs, and you opened the door with a grin, catching him off guard. “Hi. You’re early.”             “Hi. You’re…” He looked for his words until you cut him short. “Not ready. Sorry.” You smiled confused. “But come in.” You waved him to enter and he did.

A hand in his pocket and the other tightened around the bouquet, you could tell he was a bit uncomfortable. He looked around the place, not by curiosity … well, maybe a little … but also because he didn’t dare look at you. Because if he looked at you then he would have to say something and right now he had no clue what to say. “They are for me?” You pointed at the flowers. He glanced quickly at the flowers and handed them to you even faster. “Yeah.” You took them and smell them. “ They are beautiful. Thank you.”“They didn’t really appreciate the ride.” He grimaced.            “ They are perfect. You didn’t have too” You said to reassure him as you put them in a flowerpot. “What don’t you sit on the couch while I finish getting ready?” You proposed.“Yeah.” He tried to smile. Instead he had a weird sneer. You chuckled and disappeared towards your bedroom.           “ Make yourself at home. I won’t be long.” You yelled.  “ No problem.” Yeah, right. No problem, my ass.            Jason sat on the couch and started tapping on his thighs. He knew he had to relax, that it was going to be fine. But right now, he had that poker in his ass –or pitchfork, as Artemis would say, since it was hurting like a bitch – and he couldn’t get rid of it. “Stop acting so scared, Jason. You’re a man. You’re the Red Hood.” He whispered.“ You can put some music on if you want” He heard you scream from your bedroom.Wait? Was it a test? Were you testing his tastes? His eyes widened. “No it’s okay. I’m cool.” “ You don’t like music?” You asked trying to make him talk a little bit.     “ Sure I do.” He answered very fast. “ What do you like?” You rummaged in your closet looking at your clothes, not knowing what would be really appropriate for tonight, what would send the right message. The one that meant “We’re doing this date thing but I know it’s completely useless and hey! We should kiss already.” This shirt? Too see-through. You don’t wanna him to believe you want a one-night stand. This one? Turtle neck really? What are you? A nun/priest?            “ Many things.” He mumbled as he observed the apartment to find a clue on what you liked. Hopefully the Spotify page was opened. He scrolled. Last titles played. “ Ariana Grande.”

You frowned. He liked Ariana Grande? “Really?”            “ Yeah. ‘No tears left to cry’ is great” He declared from the living room. “Demi Lovato, too.” You almost dropped your top. Was he reading your roommate’s playlist? You shook your head with a mocking laugh and came back into the living room. “Didn’t know you liked popular music.”         “ You look perfect” He said without thinking. You blushed slightly, definitely not insensitive to the compliment. “You’re not bad yourself.” He scratched his skull, keeping his distance.            “ So where are we going?”         “ I had booked a table in a fancy restaurant in Centre Gotham but Artemis made me cancel saying that I was lame or something like that.” You frowned. “You don’t wanna know why. So I was thinking that we could ride to Blüdhaven and stroll by the harbour and maybe have something to eat. I took a helmet for you and …” You smiled, touched by his embarrassment and his unexpected romanticism. “… or we can go elsewhere if you prefer.”            “ That sounds like a good idea to me.” You admitted, sincerely. He smiled like a little boy. You could tell he was so happy you agreed and yet so stressed.

Once outside, you followed him to his bike and he handed you a helmet and a leather jacket that was way too big. You put them on and he double-checked if the helmet fitted you. “We’re never safe enough.”   You chuckled, finding him irresistibly cute. “Look at you, all protective.”           “ I’m serious. Security is not a joke” He put down the visor to annoy you and it worked. “Hey!” You grumbled to make him laugh a bit, hoping that he would loosen up a little but it didn’t. “Come on. Sit behind me.” He said as he got on the bike. You obeyed and wrapped your hands around his chest, holding him tight.” He shivered slightly, fining the sudden proximity quite pleasant and started the engine.

You loved it. The speed. The wind. The view. The sensation of freedom. It was amazing. “Woooo” You screamed as Jason overtook a new car. He smirked behind his helmet and accelerated. “ You’re okay back there?”         “ This is awesome!!”        He wished it would have lasted longer but you reached Blüdhaven in merely twenty minutes. You parked and Jason helped you take off the helmet. Your hair were completely dishevelled, you knew it. “ Why did I bother styling my hair?” You asked as you blew a strand of hair away from your face.           “ You still look beautiful.” He admitted before clearing his throat. “Shall we?”   “Yeah”

The night was great… Or at least that’s what you tried to believe. Jason kept his hands in his pockets the entire evening as you walked along the neon-lighted pier. He didn’t touched you, didn’t try to hold your hand or to brush your skin with his fingers when you had passed him his drink early on. Instead he remained face down, barely answering your question as you were relentlessly trying to make conversation. Why was he that nervous? You weren’t that intimidating. You were quite talkative and likeable on the contrary.    What if he didn’t like you? You suddenly wondered. No. He wouldn’t have brought flowers and all. Or maybe he was disappointed. Maybe he found you boring. You lost your chill in a flash  and your eyes widened in apprehension. So you asked. “ You’re feeling okay? Did I do something wrong?”     He immediately stopped walking to stare at you. “What?! No. Why?”        “ You’re very distant.”   “ I am?” You nodded and he immediately sighed. “Look, Jay. If you don’t like me or…”“ What? No! Of course I like you. I like you a lot even.” He mumbled without even taking a breath.          “ So why are you like this? Am I scaring you or something?” He didn’t reply and then you got it. “Oh my god! I am scaring you!” You laughed like you never laughed before even though it wasn’t that funny and he glowered at you.    “ It’s not funny.” He muttered but you couldn’t help it. You needed to laugh. You had been way too serious tonight because of his uneasiness “Stop mocking me.”          “ I’m sorry. I’m gonna stop.” You promised as you took a deep breath, small tears watering your eyes. “It’s just. I’m not a date kind of guy. I suck at dates. I hate dates.”“ That I understood.”      “ And you’re an amazing girl/guy and … I … I don’t know what I was thinking. I was impressed. I wanted everything to be perfect even if that meant acting like someone I’m not. I almost put a tie, for fuck’s sake.” You chuckled and he continued. “ And I don’t even like Ariana Grande.” You burst out laughing.      “ I don’t either.”    “ I saw your playlist.” He shouted, outraged.        “ That wasn’t mine. It was my roomate’s.” You swore for a second that he did all he could not to shout. “ Worst date ever.”“ I wouldn’t say. I found you quite adorable … adorkable even.” He sighed and leant against the balustrade along the pier. You did the same and you both remained quiet for a short while.         “ Can you chill now?”     “ I’m chill.” He retorted rather coldly.      “ No you’re not. Come on. Let’s do something else.”        “ Seriously? You still want to stay with a moron like me?”      “ I happen to like morons like you.” You winked and you extended your hand. He watched it for a second and finally grabbed it with a smirk on his face. “ And I’m guessing that you must know a place where they are more at ease.” “Yep. It’s called a bar.” He curled his fingers between yours holding tightly your hand. This was way better already.

And it had been incredible. Nice music. Beers. Cheering and laughing people. And Jason being suddenly all relaxed and surprisingly physical and tactile. Holding your hand, caressing you and occasionally brushing your hair with his fingers. You had enjoyed it so much you hadn’t wanted it to end. But it had eventually.        It had ended when after Jason had left you alone for a moment to order some new drinks a man had come to your table to flirt with you. It had made Jason see red and come back to you in a matter of two seconds. “Hands off, asshole.” They would have fought if you hadn’t held him back. You were sure of it. “ Come on, Jay. He’s not worth it. Don’t ruin the night because of him.”“ Yeah, Jay. Listen to your bitch.” The man had mocked him. You had both frozen and Jason had looked daggers at the man. “Excuse me, baby.” He had punched him. A nice right hook in the jaw that had knocked him out and silenced the entire bar. “Better. Let’s go.”

And now here you were, back at your apartment, on the doormat. You looked for your keys in silence, as Jason was again quite uncomfortable, looking down at his shoes. “You’re not mad at me about that asshole in the bar, I hope?” So that’s what it was now. “No.” You admitted. “ It was actually really nice to see you that jealous and overprotective. Sexy even. But it scared me too. Who knows? We could have started a terrible bar fight.” He snickered.  “ Sexy, huh?” He repeated with a smirk. You blushed and bit your lips. “Let’s say it didn’t leave indifferent.”    “ I know something else that would not leave you indifferent as well.” He whispered with a suddenly very seductive low voice as he bent over to approach your face. You didn’t move and gazed at him while he grabbed your waist to hold you still and caress your lips with his. “You’re an adorkable moron, you know that.”    “ If you let me in, you will say something very different tomorrow.” 

[cas-backwards-tie]

Batfam with a girlfriend/boyfriend that doesnt take care of themselves (barely sleeps, barely eats, or just eats junk) bc they lowkey hate themselves and dont feel like they are that important (a.k.a me ) 💖💖💕💕 Also youre very talented and I love your writing so if you cant do the request take the compliment because youve earned it 🤗

Thank you so much! and I know it’s been awhile but I’ve pushed this to side the because it always takes me SO long to do headcanons. Though I love them. Also this is me too, so I totally understand. I may have gotten carried away with Damian...

Bruce: 

-for sure would do everything in his power to try and make sure you knew deep down that you are worth it and important because you are, you just don’t believe it.

-if it’s because of depression or anything of the sort he might suggest medication, willing to pay for all expenses because you deserve to be happy and he’ll do it in whatever you want.

-he’ll remind you to sleep and eat, and if he’s not around to do so he’ll make sure Alfred does. 

-he’ll make sure that (i mean, Alfred would tbh anyways) all the meals you guys eat are healthy... so... if you are eating junk then you’d probably get scolded bc “why aren’t you eating Alfred’s meals? Alfred is an excellent chef and you’re just eating junk food instead?!” everyone would be baffled.

-overall Bruce loves you so so much and would do his best to try and ingrain in your brain over time that you ARE worth everything, and are the most important thing in his life.

Jason:

-Jason understands all to well your pain, and even though he could just as easily wallow in his own feelings about the same issues. He knows he has to be strong and there for you because you’re the one who needs it right now.

-Jason might stoop down to your level on some days and join you (which you’d probably enjoy somewhat not being alone) in not sleeping or eating junk food, but of course if it came to barely eating then he’d complain because this man needs to eat!

-Jason feels like it’s his fault when you tell him how you feel that you’re not important or worth anything. He feels like it’s his fault that he hasn’t shown you that you are enough. You’re more than enough in fact.

-Jason understands you and will try anything and everything to make you feel better. He’s been there and done that, and sometimes he still has his moments. He’ll go to the ends of the earth to try and contradict your thoughts.

Dick:

-Dick is a busy man so for the most part I feel like he wouldn’t notice these things at first.

-Once you told Dick though, he’d be all over you in his mama bird ways, trying to protect and comfort you. Dick loves you more than anything and knows you deserve the world.

-He just can’t wrap his head around why you don’t think the same. Dick would eventually get worn down with his busy schedule and everything that’s been going on with you lately- his efforts seeming to not be that helpful he’d turn to Jason knowing that after all the teasing was done, Jason would know what to do. Dick saw how much Jason went through this and hopefully Jason could have some advice.

-Dick would do what Jason told him, but he’d throw in his own twists. Dick would also definitely try to get you out of the house way more than you’d been going out. He’d make sure you guys started to go on way more fun dates.

-Dick doesn’t want to see his world: you- tumble down into the dark where he knows you don’t belong. He’ll do anything to try and get you out of the pit you’re currently stuck in, and mostly importantly he wants you to know that he’ll be by your side the whole time. He’d never leave you just because of something like this, and he wants you to know that.

Tim:

- Honeslty I feel like Tim would just be there with you. He already barely sleeps- okay! More time to hang out with you. You don’t want to eat? That he couldn’t really get with. He’d tell you all the downsides to not eating and what’d happen to your body if you stopped. Of course he’d probably scare you into eating.

-Eating junk food? He doesn’t mind, but of course that won’t be the only stuff you’re eating! 

-Tim can understand why you’re feeling this way, and as much as it pains him to see you going through this he hopes you know he’ll be there for you. He’ll listen to what you want to tell, he’ll support you in any way you want and need. He’ll be with you until you get out of this funk.

Damian:

- Damian doesn’t understand... how could you hate yourself? you’re literally beautiful and amazing. You’re kind and caring... You’re perfect. Why would you hate that?

-Damian listens to what you have to say, knowing not to interrupt like he did last time (it did not end well), and waits until you’re done talking.

-He holds you in his arms, his hands absent-mindedly running up and down your back.

-he starts to think of what you were saying and starts to understand... he sometimes looks in the mirror and wonders who he’s become. Sometimes he hates the things he’s done, the things he was forced to do.... was it like that? is that how you felt? you hated what you saw in the mirror sometimes and felt like you were nothing?

-he inhaled sharply realizing that this is what you were talking about. “what’s wrong?” “nothing, I just remembered something Father told me to do” it wasn’t true. but he also knew it wouldn’t help to talk about his own troubles at the moment.

-Damian still couldn’t imagine how it’d be to feel these feelings and think these things all the time, but he could imagine how bad it’d be. I mean, he knew- just by looking at you how it’d turn out.

-Damian would make sure to spend extra time with you, doing the stupid, sometimes annoying cheesy things he knew you loved- which he also loved but would never admit. 

-He’d make sure you were never alone and if you needed to talk to someone better than him- a professional- he’d make it happen. He’d find a good person you could talk to.

- Damian would try and spoil you with gifts, but of course he’d only get something if “I thought you’d like this,” or “I saw this and thought of you”. He knew those were the most meaningful gifts and Damian never did anything without meaning.

-Damian would hope everyday you’d get better but knew that this could take awhile or may never go away for sure. He knew this would be hard but he’d be determined to keep at it- trying to get rid of this mindset. He’d stick with you through it and try his best not to explode when you don’t sleep enough or when you become unhealthy from your habits.

-He’d somewhat feel like it’s his fault if you relapsed into this behavior but he’d understand and try his very best to be strong and helpful when you needed him.