cherryredribbon

[cherryredribbon]

i love playing guess the robin bc yes that is dick!! hes the one with the floppy side part but also sometimes a middle part!! oh no thats actually jason. everytime i think im right and ive figured out a semi reliable way to differentiate between them im wrong and indeed thats actually tim not jason because surprise he also has a floppy middle part

[cherryredribbon]

bat family as unhinged tiktok comments!

[cherryredribbon]

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

[cherryredribbon]

I only want the fab 5 (+ Kori later on) when they are absolutely insane about each other. The most ride and die you will ever find.

They will never hesitate to square up again anyone who says anything bad about their team mates (and best friends (and lovers)), consistently checking in with each other even (and especially) when they are not meant/ supposed to.

I want them so fucking codependent but also completely unaware bc what do you mean you don’t constantly update your friend group everytime anything happens. What do you mean you don’t just break into your best friends house and sleep in their bed with them when you feel sad. What do you mean you keep secrets from your friends. What do you mean you don’t join your friends when they shower so you can continue your conversation. What do you mean you don’t know where every single scare on your best friend comes from. What do you mean you don’t call their dad a stupid motherfucker to his face. What do you mean you don’t know everything about your best friends.

I want them to have so many inside jokes that they are basically speaking a different language. I want them to share clothes and makeup and accessories to the point where nobody really remembers who owned what first. ( I want everyone to wear the other people’s merch always)

I want them to speak about their siblings like they are shared between the five of them. I want Tim to ask Donna a question when he is too embarrassed to ask Dick, and Cassie to ask Dick when she doesn’t want Donna to know, etc.

I want the mentors to be the other people’s aunt and uncles. ( I want the mentors and adults in their life to have a group chat where they try and help each other keep track of what their kids are doing bc gods know they won’t just tell them, so whenever they have a sleepover or a mission in one persons city, they let’s the rest of the mentors know. I also want the mentors to constantly send ‘baby’ photos and videos of their ‘kids’ in the group chat)

I want the dating history within the group to be so fucking confusing that you need a collage level lecture to understand it from the outside.

I want all of them to be married to other titans, but nobody really remembers who is married to who, especially since most of them are married to multiple people. ( a mix of Vegas weddings, undercover missions that took a turn, space rituals and traditions they got court up in, bets that were won and lost, and very intense dnd campaigns)

I want their private group chat to have more encryptions and protections than pentagon and the batcomputer put together. I want the GC to be filled with Drunken voice notes, homemade memes, pictures that should never see the light of day, secrets and jokes that would get them into soooo much trouble.

I want them to bring one or two titans along to family and work events. I want people to bet on which of the friends will go with Roy vs who will go as Dicks date to the fancy Galas, bc you can bet your ass they will be there as arm candy on their arms. (Having your friends at the Gala is the only thing that makes going to these Galas bearable). I want them to sneak out every time and go to a random fast food restaurant.

I want their fighting styles to be so engrained in each other that it is impossible to figure out who thought who what, and which of them was the first person to introduce this move into the equation.

I want outsiders to look at them and be confused if one of the OG titans are standing alone without one of the other titans. Do you see the vision?

[cherryredribbon]

ignoring the spyral and renegade arc means ur ignoring two of what i would argue are the most significant events of dicks character!! you are taking his complexity away!!

I think we need to discuss this more actually

[cherryredribbon]

i like to think about the specific ways each member of the batfamily protects their secret identity

bruce: obviously, we've got the brucie wayne thing going on. also helps that through a very meticulously planned gala almost entirely for this purpose, bruce wayne and batman (dick is under the cowl, having way too much fun pretending to be batman) were photographed together. the general consensus is that these two are on-again-off-again exes, as the picture caught bruce staring unimpressively at dick!batman while dick is full grinning.

dick: both nightwing and richard grayson have active and fairly popular social media accounts. and whilst the nightwing account openly responds to any news, comments, or posts about richard grayson, the richard grayson account resolutely and absolutely ignores any and all mentions of nightwing.

considering the accounts have similiar feel-good fun vibes, (as is the case when ran by the same person) the general public has taken this to mean that the two have unpleasnt history. are they ex-lovers, bitter rivals, or worse? the gothamites certainly dont want to know, not wanting to disturb what is frankly a fragile peace between their two golden boys.

jason: doesnt. openly and loudly states that red hood is infact jason todd, bruce waynes dead son who was killed in one of jokers sprees. the internet does not believe him, and even the ones that do are unconvinced after dick and bruce do a press conference expressing "their sadness that people are impersonating their darling baby brother and son, oh tears tears tears" this absolutely drives jason into a fit of rage and that really doesnt help his case either because jason pre-pit was a darling baby that said things like "robin is magic :D"

tim: has a open and public feud with red robin that takes up way too much time but god dammit he is committed now. to the wider internet timothy drake and red robin are bitter twitter rivals that hate each other because one day tim deliriously tweeted "gotham is so silly like our vigilantes are named after restaurants and are 12" or something along those lines but to the batfam who watched as tim frantically tweeted from two seperate accounts tim and red robins feud is something is he thought of and executed within the same minute

damian: i really think the only thing keeping damians identity is just the widespread denial that this little kid who is barely 5 feet tall could be robin. like everyone has kind of a sneaking suspicion, it is definitely a popular conspiracy theory, but at the end of the day not even the local gothamites want to admit that this little kid with a sword could be robin even tho ALL the evidence point to yes. tim and babs also occasionally checks on the whole secret identity thing but both of them know there is nothing more powerful than denial.

[cherryredribbon]

dc u absolute COWARDS give us dickkory back

[cherryredribbon]

When one of your parents has superhearing practicing a stealth mission (hide and seek) becomes hard

I’m finally back!! I’ve been out for at least 3 weeks since I had to finish my winter finals.

It wasn’t a fun time.

But I’m free now! :D and also I wanted to thank you for how well received my dc fanart has been 💕

[cherryredribbon]

jason is the epitome of younger sibling core bc wdym my older brother whom i have a 6ish year age gap doesn’t want to be my best friend?? doesn’t want to hang out with me, a 13 year old?? also the entire jason tim thing where he attacked tim in titans tower is 100% a younger sibling reaction to no longer being the youngest

[cherryredribbon]

everytime i crash out i think "what would jude do" and that almost always instantly sobers me like no jude infact would NOT be going insane!! she would be getting tf off the bathroom floor and doing something about it!! so yeah being an insane fangirl absolutely has benefits

[cherryredribbon]

I love that Nightwing has files on how to take down all of his friends and they're okay with it, because it's a reasonable point to be made and because he trusts his team to tell them about it. I love that this is one of those crystal clear examples of Dick taking the things Batman does and doing them better, that he's not Batman Lite, but instead that he's Better Than Batman, that's the whole purpose of Nightwing's character, that's everything that Bruce wanted for him, to be the kind of Bat that Bruce sees himself as too damaged to be.

[cherryredribbon]

That post I saw once of everyone wanting to be Dick's favorite lives rent-free in my head.

Damian: We all know I'm the favorite. He chose me as HIS Robin.

Tim: Only because he sees me as his equal. He thinks highly of me and I'm the only one of you who knows more about him.

Jason: Yes, because you stalked him for years and you continue to do so.

Tim: That's not-

Jason: Obviously I'm the favorite. He's happier to see me than any of you when I come to these stupid family gatherings.

Tim: Just because that way he's sure you're not out there doing something stupid, asshole.

Cass: It's me he taught how to cook.

Steph: I don't think you'll get any points for burning down his kitchen while making pancakes. Me, on the other hand...

Duke: You don't even spend time with him. I'm probably the only one of you who bothers to talk to him and ask how he's doing.

Jason: Yeah, and you hated him too because he was a cop for a few months.

Duke: Fuck off, man. You know my problem with cops.

Damian: There is only one way to fix this. FATHER!

Bruce, who was listening to everything in silence: Yes?

Damian: Who is Dick's favorite?

Bruce, with a slightly arrogant tone: well...

Tim: No, there's no way it's you. Don't even say it.

Bruce: It's me who...

Jason: Just because he has that strange devotion to you that seems like Stockholm Syndrome doesn't make you his favorite.

Bruce: Stockh... What?!

Tim: Yes, you are out of the game, totally. Alfred! Who is Dick's favorite?

Alfred: That's probably me, young sir.

Tim:

Jason:

Damian:

Cass:

Duke:

Steph:

Bruce:

Steph: Who is his second favorite?

Babs, connecting the loudspeakers: It's me, obviously.

All batkids: NO YOU'RE NOT.

Dick: My favorite family member? Oh! Donna, she's my Wonder Twin!

[cherryredribbon]

put dick on a team and trust he will make sure they can perform as an acrobat troop

[cherryredribbon]

"well, the laser vision IS a plus, because it's cool watching her set stuff on fire from 50 yards away. and i like that she can fly and get things off of high shelves for me. but those aren't the ONLY reasons why i like her!"

(also i hope you enjoy retro batdad, because that's where my brain's at right now. i'm delighted that starfire's design is already so incredibly 60s; she fits right in 🌠)

[cherryredribbon]

[cherryredribbon]

Guests at a gala notice that Brucie Wayne is surprisingly jacked. Like, a suspicious amount of muscle for a CEO who lives a life of luxury and doesn't do any physical labour. An amount of muscle that goes beyond "works out to stay fit and look good". And when he's asked about this by a gossip columnist guest he panicks (he's running on 2 hours sleep) and says "It's so I can pick up my kids!"

Now everyone is looking at his kids. Cass and Tim are tiny at 5’ 5 and 5' 7. Damian is still a kid and he's also small. Dick is bigger, but picking him up wouldn't require that much muscle. Maybe Duke, who is still growing but looks like he could be about Bruce's height when he's fully grown? Maybe him?

Then Jason officially returns from the dead. And everyone looks at the 6' 4, 260lbs walking double fridge and goes "Ahhh, ok then."

[cherryredribbon]

gotham rainy nights

i firmly believe in Duke doing silly things with his power

hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + bat-rain-poncho, several years later