#and it all feels so > me << /div>
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation
because WHAT are people talking about sometimes
#aka: genuinely sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe and simply watched/read different things#full disclosure it does make you feel like a killjoy sometimes#because often times these fanons will be presented in a silly jokey manner#'oh so silly isn't this character so funny this is just my silly little headcanon'#and it's like yes yes lol lol but ok look me in the eyes and tell me you know that this is#at best only one interpretation of many and at worst simply not supported by the text at all#please tell me you know that#or in one specific example such a ubiquitous joke that is literally a significant theme of the work and i feel like SUCH a killjoy#being like 'ok yes very funny.....you know that was a major theme right?? tell me you know that'
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My Mane 6 Redesigns all together! I was going to post them separately but ended up finishing them all before I got around to it lol
#mlp#my little pony friendship is magic#my little pony#mlp fim#mlp redesign#earth pony twilight truthers where are you#bat pony fluttershy truthers where are you#dark color palette rarity truthers where are you#ALL OF YOU RISE WITH ME#im ESPECIALLY an earth pony twilight truther ever since I saw the old G5 concepts#I love the idea that Twilight's bonds with others are her true magic rather than beams or spells and I feel earth pony twi fits that well#since “the five elements brought together creates the sixth element magic“ aka friendship since FIM she embodies ”magic“ in a#more metaphorical sense#the star in her eyes is also a reference to the first ep when twilight says “the spark” ignited inside of her heart#plus the earth pony to alicorn pipeline is so cool and i like the idea of an earth pony being the bearer of the element of magic as a#fun contrast/its unexpected
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IS ANYONE ELSE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS OR
#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#hazbin husker#hazbin angel dust#hazbin angeldust#angeldust#husker#hazbin husk#look man im all for overlord husk but EXCUSE ME????????#WHERE DID THIS COME FROM#I LITERALLY YELLED W H A T AT MY COMPUTER SCREEN WHEN HE SAID THIS#I KNEW HUSK WAS STRONGER THAN HE LET ON BUT AN OVERLORD???????#GURL??????????#DAMN SON#THIS new piece of information caught me so offguard that i was still reeling from it even after the emotional bomb that was loser baby#anyways huskerdust truthers how are we feeling#HOW DOES VICTORY FEEL#NO LONGER CRACKSHIP BROTHERS#WE'RE REAL#AND IM FEELING SO GOOD ABOUT IT#anwyways im doing very emotionally good how are you guys#im...gonna put a hiatus my own personal webcomic to cry over this for the next 6 months#girls help#keith david...........im so sorry i ever doubted you he ATE THAT UPPPP#hazbin hotel spoilers#pear post#scheeze art
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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YES ‼️ KILL ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#pomni#jax#my art#my fancy art#sorry fellas idk if you'll hear much from me for... an indefinite amount of time#im working fulltime and not feeling up to [gestures vaguely] all this?? so i think i'll take a hiatus! 🫡 toodeloo til next time!!#cw eye strain
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one
his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.
ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication
ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.
#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#shuro dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#toshiro nakamoto#dont get me wrong i understand relating to a character and hating whoever wrongs them cause youre protective or you relate really hard#but i think toshiros been getting the short end of the stick for a long time now 😭#even his love for falin is misunderstood#he literally states all the reasons he likes her#and none of them are superficial#but hes so closed off and has such difficulty expressing himself that instead of asking her out or smth he just#proposed to her out of the blue 😭#leading a lot of ppl to just assume that he went 'white woman spotted' and proposed#do Not misunderstand me i am#a HUGE farcille stan#obviously#but i dont think toshiros feelings are surface level and i think theyre absolutely crucial to understanding him and his motivations#as a character in this story
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#fence posts#wild life#traffic series#traffic smp#trafficblr#smallishbeans#geminitay#ldshadowlady#solidaritygaming#goodtimeswithscar#bigbst4tz2#mumbo jumbo#skizzleman#grian#zombiecleo#impulsesv#smajor1995#pearlescentmoon#tangotek#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#rendog#inthelittlewood#(I feel like I need to explain but this season is so ((wild)) west coded to me ((they’re all based off of aspects from that era !! :3)
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pics that make you go "oh I KNOW he eated a trash"
#transformers one#tf one#transformers#tfo#tf one bumblebee#b 127#bumblebee#tf one elita#elita#elita one#elita 1#making bee a dr. pepper drinker despite it not making any sense in-universe simply bc it brings me joy#anyway#i feel like they didnt treat the workers in sublevel 50 well if at all#(leaning towards the “if at ALL”)#and that includes making sure theyre fed and stuff#i mean orion and d16 were the first people bee saw in AGES so clearly they werent hand delivering energon down there#they probably just remotely dropped some down occasionally but that “occasionally” could be anything#so i feel like bee had to go through some unsavory “food-like” items to survive#feel so bad being mean to him yet i keep drawing these things so...#dr pepper#my art
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Since im not very normal when it comes to designing im always more efficient when i design straight up on an illustration so here goes the main suitors :
Antinous (lion🦁) : loud arrogant and imposing. Will laugh at your face and threaten you in cold blood.
Eurymachus (snake🐍): hypocrite manipulative conniving bitch. Will gaslight you with a kind smile. Hates mediocrity
Amphinomous (bear🐻) : he's the answer to choosing a man or a bear. Not inherently evil. He thinks the beggar is funny (not knowing its ody). He is just a guy who's easily influenced by his terrible friends.
(Credit to pinkcherry097 on instagram for the joke)
#chara design#why do i feel like ill get attached to these designs...#i love me a group of evil besties#also beggar ody has got to be the most sarcastic menace ever#hes like so eager to kill them but with all these years he didnt lose his silly#funny#the suitors#antinous#eurymachus#amphinomus#odysseus epic#odysseus fanart#odysseus#the odyssey#the odyssey by homer#epic#epic the musical#epic the musical fanart#epic fanart#epic the musical memes#epic the ithaca saga#the ithaca saga#my art#sketch#silly
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Yknow what- you're so right...
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#maria robotnik#2d animation#aura's art#seeing so many people like that silly doodle animation I did shocked me so much!#i've honestly been having such a rough time on my end- but seeing the support for this has helped me through it all so thank you everyone!#hopefully i will make more proper art and animations now that i'm starting to feel better!#for now- enjoy another doodle animation!
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based on that one q&a... i'm a sucker for a pokemon crossover
#this is likely the first and last time i will ever EVER draw a digimon lol. i did it for you daisuke#eagle eyed viewers will notice i didnt draw jimmy. this is because i didnt want to#but also im convinced he wouldnt have a partner pokemon#i feel like hed think all the realistically obtainable ones were too lame or weak and would only settle for Mega Rayquaza#swansea to me is like the team rocket grunt whos Evil but has a crobat so youre like oh.. he also has a heart?!#like hes a jerk but his herdier loves him so maybe hes not that bad#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#pokemon#weregarurumon#digimon#glaceon#pikachu#herdier#digital art#koob art#procreate#illustration#1k#2k
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Linktober, Day 12: Tarry Town!
You defeat the final boss in the volcano causing the floating islands to float! Congrats. Unfortunately, with the destruction of the said monster, the islands are no longer floating and are, in fact, slowly coming down enmass as the magnesis scatters.
Zelda would like to point out people are much more likely to survive walking around slow giant rocks from the sky versus dodging flaming lava. She’s practicing this new thing called positive thinking.
(This is a totk au called Familiar Familiar where zelda does not go back in time! Click here to see the full comic masterlist)
(Plus my patreon!)
#lonks diary#critdraws#familiar familiar au#linktober 2024#art#loz#zelda#link#yunobo#totk#botw#totk au#botw au#breath of the wild au#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#totk zelda#totk link#totk yunobo#loz comic#tloz#tears of the kingdom au#legend of zelda#the legend of zelda#was at the renfaire yesterday so here’s an extra big post for today#anyways i think the gorons would enjoy tarry town#esp with all the fun construction that's happening there#also gorons are immune to fire but not squash damage so#gorons#also zelda going “tell me if your liver explodes” feels accurate? i dont know how else to explain it
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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sunday nights are for reflecting on your entire life and the fragile state of your present moment and what the future may look like
#feel like the past few months have been so busy and overwhelming so ive been too busy to fully reflect and process them#and it all just hit me in the space of an hour like relationships and situations and everything#had a little cry but i'm okay i'm hopeful and embracing whatever things will look like#holding onto myself and my passions and my love and my light#diary#tiyas thoughts
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