#and it DIDN'T WORK

[envelopesofbadluck]

-angry pouting kibby-

[myriad--starlings]

doing really well and then getting triggered is like walking into a brick fucking wall

[byrdsfly]

Coordinated asassins...

[aiba2]

Sorry wait. Did tumblr patch out animated webps by simply not allowing you to upload them anymore.

[rioblitzle]

working retail

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[gwydionae]

Behold, one of my best friend's Halloween costumes, recorded and uploaded by a complete stranger with over a million views on tiktok! (I'm so proud!!)

[inkpotsprite]

This was after he blew up all of the Leagues tech.

[corpsgf]

I was so excited for Christmas and now all I feel is kinda empty and upset

[charlesoberonn]

[squirmydonnie]

TW: SH, denial?,

Sorry if anything is wrong or off here. I don't usually share like this. But I'm willing to fix any of it:

My mom turned to my dad and asked him if she should talk about it

And I was a little confused. But I already kind of knew what she was talking about.

She asked if any of the way that I've been feeling. Or the mistrust was because I'm bisexual.

So I had to start over and say yes. But that not even what I was trying to say when I said it.

My parents had told my brother things. They've told him i am naive, and am easily influenced. And i definitely can be.

It happens sometimes that I absorb what's around me a lot. Even if I don't end up doing an action. I'll do an in-action. So. It becomes in action instead. I haven't been doing much out of fear. Other than other bad stuff??..

But these are things they don't tell me. But do tell my brother which is weird

They had also told my brother that they assumed I was attracted to no one.

Which is fine.

But it does mean. That they have not been listening to me. And just decided what i am in there heads. Or something else like that

But when I first told my mom I was bisexual. I didn't. I was pretty naive at the time. Specifically with that. I didn't even know if my parents knew what bisexual was. It took me a very long time to tell my mom.

I followed her around and outside of the house. And then back on the couch. I only asked if she knew what bisexual was. And then she brought me upstairs and started talking to me for a long time.

I don't they understand. That it may hurt my feelings if I share my view on something, and then I am shut down. Even if it's done more lightly. It still hurts.

And when I told them I was transgender. It was the same things. Telling me that's not who I am.

In the conversation they explained further on their views. Which would have been helpful from the beginning. Instead of keeping this too themselves. I hate when they do that. And expect me to come to them. Because I am so bad at it. Its probably a bad excuse.

I've gotten better at coming to them. Especially last week. But it was still painful.

My dad told me we have wasted a lot of years. And we have.

I don't disagree with everything they say. But I don't feel that they understand that they things they say can sometimes hurt. Or hurt me badly.

And like they say, should use context clues.

We had been conversating since my dad came home.

Me and my mom had watched I movie and just came home about 4 minutes before.

We talked on the couch. I hurt myself and decided to go outside

I noticed it. But didn't tell them until we talked last in their room.

I went back inside.

Then my dad took me back outside so we could take a walk

It started to rain so we went back

Then we painted the door.

I was drawing something before that. I put some barbecue sauce on it and wiped it off. But it didn't look very good. So I used more wipes and added a powder juice packet.

It looks fine. I didn't need to add any of that stuff. But I guess you could say it was part of the process. I may have just been bored.

Or trying to snap myself out of whatever

I don't really know. But it was fun

I hadn't had much fun like that recently. So it was nice.

After painting the door. I can't really remember. I assume it doesnt matter.

I think I was just on my phone or computer.

I felt I had kind of ruined our last day together

I went to see my mom and told her I got hurt.

She took it seriously. Which was good. But I felt odd. I was smiling because I didn't want her to think about it. And just wanted her to see it as a mistake.

Because it kind of was.

I meant to do it but I didn't at the same time.

I feel that's hard to understand. But that's how it feels most of the time.

I do not know my identity

I'm not really trying to focus on it. Because that won't really help me.

I'm trying to look to be happy more.

Because I know my parents want that now.

But I wasn't fully sure of it before.

I couldn't stop thinking of what they wanted of me.

I assumed I would make sure I wouldn't be myself at all for a few years until I could get myself away.

I've been trying to know more about them without letting myself get attached to them anymore.

I don't think I was able to convey that to them.

I get very easily so ready to let myself be destroyed for someone else. Even if it may not even matter to them at all.

Even when someone tells me I've done something positive for them. It's not enough for me. I feel like it's all wrong. And I still don't matter

I'm not really fit to be trying to do the things I do. I know I've done some good things.

But I've also let myself be destroyed

Either by someone else or myself. I think because I've gotten used to it

I know its not okay.

But it will feel like. What's the point

This have to be my life

I have to be a punching bag basically

And stop trying

Hurting myself comes naturally now

I feel like it's someone else hitting me now

I barely address it as myself now

If it's someone else it's not as bad

I don't even have to care

A lot of times during a heated discussion with them I will end up hurting myself and they will just yell/tell me to stop it, but won't comfort me or anything. They won't ask me if I'm okay, then. They will just tell me to stop.

I wouldn't say I can just stop. It's like an immediate reaction now. If I could cut it out I would. Especially at this point.

Its becoming more embarrassing.

It sounds weird but I has always hoped that if anything happened it would just be big moments.

These small build ups really suck.

And its weird.

It's hard to face NBB after having a big break down. I've cried in front of her so much. And it feels like it's gotten worse.

I ended up hurting myself in front of a girl at school. And I was so lucky

Shes pretty nice. And has problems with it herself.

I had previously been intimidated by her. And assumed she saw me as stupid or incompetent like other people treat me in class.

But it's the exact opposite. And she actually saw me.

I have gotten incredibly lucky so much.

It's very easy for me to treat myself badly.

But I don't need to do that

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[shiningbean]

three of swords (heartbreak, sorrow, grief)

plus the lines because i still prefer the clean look of it