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femmenature · 16 days ago

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Better tan him

The creator of this content does not speak English, constructive criticism on grammar is welcome😭

I know Liv identifies as non-binary and uses They/them as pronouns, but I used she/her just because of Vanessa's character!

Pairing: Teen pre-crash Van Palmer/Vanessa Palmer x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Your best friend can't stand your boyfriend and lets you know exactly why.

Warnings: Infidelity, few mentions of sexual topics, bad language.

God, she hated him like crazy. There were moments when the hatred she felt for him made her feel bad, genuinely bad. But when she heard him talk about you, practically guessing the things you liked, her stomach churned and her urge to throw up increased with each of his words. It was inevitable for her to think about how well she knew you, but in such different contexts. While she knew your labored breathing from soccer practice, he knew it at night in your bed, and that bothered her in ways a simple friend never would, and that scared her. But she was more scared of you being with someone who didn't know you in the slightest, while your favorite color was tattooed on her brain, your favorite flowers were in her nostrils every day, the moles of your body knocked on her door every night, and your smile would be eternal as long as her mind lived.

That's practically all that's going through her mind as you tell her about him, so innocently thinking about how your best friend listens to you so closely. But in reality, she's stupidly trying to transmit her thoughts to you through telepathy, so that this torturous idea of having you is crushed by your sure rejection. She knew it wasn't "normal" for others for two girls to be together. They saw it as a sin, and that never kept her awake at night, but if you were to ever think something like that about it, it would be hell.

"Hey, land to Van. Are you listening to me right now?" The change in your voice snaps her out of her trance. She makes sure to clear her voice before answering you. "Yeah, yeah. Of course I'm listening." A frustrated sigh leaves your mouth at her response. "Okay, so I have a simple question. What was I talking about?" The redhead's eyes darted away in confusion. When she gave up on coming up with a terrible excuse, she defensively answered, "I honestly don't know, but I'm pretty sure it was about your little boyfriend."

The air thickened. Your room was quieter now. She straightened, composing her posture, realizing her harsh response to you. Meanwhile, you had your brows furrowed and a pair of questioning eyes pointed at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was so upsetting when I talked about my boyfriend with my damn best friend." She can't deny that you're right. She's your friend, just your friend. What could she possibly hold against you? You still hang out with her. What really pisses her off is that you don't do the things with her that you do with him. She can't touch your legs, crave your lips, brush your neck, express her desire to show you how well she knows you and how well she could satisfy you if you give her the damn chance.

"I didn't mean it like that." Her voice sounded tired. Hiding her feelings was becoming more difficult, and she made herself physically noticeable. "But you thought about it, didn't you?" Your sharp words touched something in her. By not telling you what she really wants, she's hurting you in some way. And you hurt her, even though it's not what you really want to say or provoke in each other. But a lack of communication paves the way for that kind of thing, and Van isn't willing to let that continue because of her stupid fear of losing you. Because if she's going to lose you one way or another, she'd rather it be with her heart in your hands.

"Yes, I do think about it. Don't get me wrong, I don't get bored of listening to you talk, I could do it all day. What I can't stand is when it's all about him." Her hands caress his jeans, wiping the sweat off them and her eyes avoid yours to keep her heart rate from increasing. "And it bothers me because it's hard watching someone you love be loved the wrong way. Actually, I don't know if that's what I mean. I don't know if you can love in a wrong way, but you can love them the way they deserve, and I know you deserve more. So much more than him." The last words trailed off because of the constriction of her throat and her overwhelming urge to cry.

For your part, you were paralyzed, watching every action of her body, every reaction of her face, and analyzing every sentence that came out of her mouth. Praying for it to be real, praying that it wasn't one of your lucid dreams. If you wake up, let it be by her side and not in your lonely bed wishing that dream were real.

"And I know I'm self-centered, thinking I could treat you better, but I would. I do. I'm convinced because I'm doing it, because I know and worship everything he doesn't." She lifts her gaze to finally look at you. She does it fearfully, slowly, as if your gaze could kill her. As if any sign of rejection could finish her off. "He doesn't know your favorite movie, and let's just say that doesn't matter. But does he know why you cry at night? Or the times you nervously pick the skin around your nails?" Unintentionally, her voice rises little by little as she talks about him. "And I'm sure he knows the taste of your lipstick very well, but does he recognize that cherry scent by heart that's etched in my mind from having it so close but never getting to taste it?"

"No" was the only thing that came out of your mouth but the only thing she needed. Her gaze connects with yours with a glimmer of hope. "He doesn't do anything you noticed. But there is something you didn't realize" Her confused look encourages you to continue your explanation, so you keep talking while your hands tremble resting on the blanket of your bed, knowing that her hands are inches away. "You didn't notice how much I prayed in my mind that my feelings for you would be reciprocated" You get closer to her, moving a hair from her face and placing it behind her ear before whispering, "and I know you're smelling my cherry lipstick now. I think It's time for you to try it"

Her eyes instantly went to your lips. A small smile appeared on yours, and she summoned the courage to approach you, caressing your hand, stopping the trembling. You closed the distance with each other, giving the kiss you'd both been waiting for, but neither of you knew was on the other's mind.

SORRY if I wrote something wrong, it's 4am in my country 😭

Also, I need, long for, and demand more Van Palmer publications. Tf are you waiting forrr?

#van plamer x reader #vanessa palmer x reader #teen van palmer x reader #yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #van plamer x you #vanessa palmer x you #yellowjackets x you #liv hewson #queer #lesbian #van palmer x fem reader

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doubleddenden · 7 months ago

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So the stories leaked from gen 4 development are certainly interesting, eh? I'm sure everyone has their own feelings about it- some of you are apparently ECSTATIC about fucking your Machokes. Good for you, my guy. Some are horrified, thinking something's been defiled (it is fiction and most importantly non canon, you're fine, get a grip).

Me? I think the lady (yes, it was a lady) that wrote all of these is REALLY PASSIONATE about her craft, and was also referencing real world mythos and how they portray similar instances- I think we all know that Zeus has probably done worse on all giving and receiving ends of these stories, as well as Poseidon, Loki, and probably some other myths from Europe, China, and definitely JAPAN- key word there. In fact, the Typhlosion story is probably a reference to a similar story about a badger yokai that can alter its face to appear human, and the Octillery story is definitely a reference to- well, tentacle porn is a thing for a reason that goes pretty far back as a way to get around censorship in hand painted porn. The contents of the story aren't really much different or more terrifying than mythos we'd see in the real world (or if you're in the bible belt like me, probably EXPOSED to with morning bible studies before class growing up), and it's mainly just shocking to see it in the context of Pokemon.

And I think that's kind of the point. Sinnoh is already a pretty dark region in terms of lore and myth, and has surprisingly religious undertones considering the family friendly nature of Pokemon and its general target audience. Obviously none of the horse, badger, sloth monkey, octopus, god, or... Lapras fucking made it to the final cut, although in Japan they still reference People and Pokemon being so equal at some point that they could marry- that's even kind of referenced in Legends Arceus with I think a diary written by a man kidnapped by a Froslass? its been a minute, but you probably know what I'm referencing.

I think an interesting question would be "How did we get to these terrifying stories?" Especially Typhlosion and Slakoth.

Its important to remember this: None of this was meant to see the light of day outside that office circa 2003 to 2004ish. Yeah, surprisingly you weren't supposed to see the story of a man fucking an Octillery BEFORE throwing it back out to sea in a rated E for everyone game, and you didn't! You saw it via twitter, reddit, 4chan, tumblr, discord, or your local weed guy who all spread it from someone who got it from confidential office logs we wouldn't see unless someone took that info from Game Freak's darkest depths of other secrets they'd prefer to keep hidden. Every game and media company has this, good and bad, to various degrees of sfw and not. Did you know Disney has an entire vault of actual PORN that animators would make of their own anthropomorphized characters? Locked nice and safely, too... with uh, some exceptions breaking containment, I think?

So with that being said, we understand this is meant to be privileged info only a handful of people were supposed to see. That means they can use words and stuff you normally wouldn't see- Adventure time for instance had Finn and Jake saying "fuck" in story boarding, kinda funny- because its meant to be workshopped and tinkered with, refined until you get something desirable.

In fact, creators will often propose darker ideas than what they actually want so that they can more easily talk censors into an outcome they ACTUALLY desire. Alex Hirsch did this a few times in Gravity Falls' production, and you know Disney was a bitch to deal with (although he probably didn't propose stuff like this, but you get the idea). So this being said- Obviously nobody wants a story about a Typhlosion engaging in a non-con relationship with a minor it kidnaps. Nobody wants to read a story about humans MUTILATING Slakoths for fun and then getting revenge impregnated by a Slaking, only to give birth to a Slakoth and have it killed and thus kill yourself out of grief for your lost child (people reading this without context- ho boy you guys have missed out on some crazy shit that's popped up). So what is okay from here?

Maybe a little Pokemon death after going a while without it and accruing a reputation of being safe for kids? Mention of Pokemon bones being picked clean of meat and put back into a river so it can come back reborn? Some darker undertones of Pokemon being tormented by Team Galactic? How about a story of a boy slaying Pokemon with a sword, but less detail of mutilation of Ursaring and Slakoth? All of this made it into Diamond and Pearl, didn't it? Add in a little Human and Pokemon "Marriage" that is easily scrubbed out and replaced with "eating at the same table" for the more sensitive Western audience, and you have some pretty believable, dark, somewhat uncomfortable but child friendly lore for Pokemon.

Not to mention, a lot of this was probably pitched just to get a feel of the vibe they were going for in the game. If you read back through the stories, bits and pieces end up being used in other, non Poke-fucking stories, or recontextualized. See the above.

While its certainly a relief that they're non canon, it is a rather interesting look at the development of gen 4 lore and actually makes it feel more... realistic, in a way- again, comparing it to real world mythos and religious tales. That, and honestly? The religious backstory is actually, unironically amazing- HEAVILY based on real world religion, but plenty of real world religions steal from other religions and mythos anyway (coughchristianitycough).

Its actually a bit sad, because in any other JRPG, Arceus becoming a wounded woman that an ordinary man cares for, Arceus falling in love with this man because he treated her so tenderly, bearing human twins, the twins becoming Dialga and Palkia to fight some Titan that would become Mt Coronet, and Arceus loving this man so much that she took his soul to create Azelf, Uxie, and Mesprit to spread love and joy throughout the world? That would literally be INSANELY GOOD world building. Plus! Arceus was a human woman when she did this! It was also consensual! Can you imagine what the world would have been like if we had gotten not only FEMALE Arceus- god of all Pokemon universes- but also a HUMAN INCARNATION of her? And this was BEFORE Giratina came into the picture, apparently. If anything, we got robbed a bit of some deep lore and potential story telling from this being cut, imo.

But one more thing to consider is this: All the stories, even if they did make it to the final cut, would still be stories within a story. Fictional folktales within a fictional setting. If we judge the above by how relevant the ACTUAL content that made it into the games were to the actual overarching plot... It'd be overall kinda useless beyond some flavor text. That's kind of the sad fact of it. Pokemon Players especially, grown adults too, are not exactly known to be well read and some play the game by rapidly A pressing every ounce of dialog they come across, even in brand new playthroughs. I'm sure some remember that one idiot on twitter that thought he made the discovery of the century when he found Snowpoint Temple in Legends Arceus, right? So understandably, especially when you're working on a clock, on limited space, on new and unfamiliar hardware, and trying to be as broad and reachable to audiences as you can- things get cut. Even... Some of the coolest lore building of all time SERIOUSLY A FUCKING PANTHEON WHAT THE HELL.

And I lied, there is one more thing to consider, especially for anyone actually morally offended by some of the content mentioned- Keep in mind that this is in 2003 to 2005ish Japan, with Game Freak (who we know are pretty out of touch in some regards, even by today's standards), before twitter, before tumblr, during a more edgy time for... well, everyone alive at the time, and especially adults. That's 20 years ago. Some of you may not have been alive at that point (did you finish your snacks and juice, lil guy?), some of you probably had a lot of your formative education influenced by the more puritanical side of tumblr or twitter, but it was simply a different time and place. That's it. The people involved in this have moved on and have probably grown into better people, and probably haven't made more fics like this. Maybe. Who knows. It's fiction anyway, and nobody real got hurt from it, and that's what's most important at the end of the day.

So that's my thoughts on it. I think I'm more annoyed by the fact that one of my favorites got a worse Vaporeon treatment than anything, and there's possibly the risk of Nintendo/TPC/Game Freak overreacting and gatekeeping Typhlosion out of the games for a bit. Sigh. My first pokemon, man. Well, anyway, try not to take it too seriously if you see the jokes and memes about it. It'll pass.

But hey, sexy Latina Skyla is canon! Shadow the Hedgehog wins!

#pokemon #pokemon leaks

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ufopigeon · 8 months ago

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to the random ass proshippers

I’ll block proshippers and I won’t throw any first punches if I find the accounts. Just block n’ move on. Think what you want, but think it away from me. This is for the ppl who are going after others both anonymously and in the open, and being insistent about misunderstanding his character. It is absolutely absurd that some are really trying to PUSH the mere implication that the Postal Dude could be a pedo/have pedophilic tendencies, or that “it makes sense for him”. Some of you are ragebait I’m sure, but I also sadly think some of you are really genuine. And this is also the last I am going to speak about it. Just wanted to do something longer on behalf of everyone else who does not agree with this random influx.

The Postal Dude is obviously designed to be an ambiguous character, allowing players to project various characteristics onto him. HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that any and all negative traits can be justified. Ambiguity in character design is meant to give freedom in interpretation, but it doesn't equate to carte blanche for projecting extreme or inappropriate characteristics that aren't supported by the game’s narrative or the developer's intent. Assuming that a character would commit any and all bad acts simply because they commit some is a lazy and inaccurate approach to understanding character design.

The argument that, "Durrr he’s literally a mass shooter, why is it so far-fetched for him to be a pedo too?" is a slippery slope fallacy. It’s that same exact shit all the edgelords try to use when they say (just so they can justify attacking any queer fans, same way SOME proshippers want to feel justified in attacking those who disagree), “The Postal Dude SPECIFICALLY hates gay people and trans people and wouldn’t support them at all/be grossed out by them! Why? Uhh, because he’s literally an evil, vile character! Duh!” Sure he is. No denying that. And sure, you can think that about him. But it’s just fundamentally inaccurate. Just because the games allow for extreme behaviors doesn’t mean they endorse or include every possible immoral action.

And just because a character engages in morally questionable actions doesn’t logically lead to them engaging in the worst possible behaviors. The creator's stance is crucial in defining the boundaries of the character. If the creators have explicitly stated that Postal Dude would never engage in pedophilia (just like how they explicitly stated he wasnt transphobic) and that such content would never be included in the game, this is a definitive limitation on what the character can be reasonably interpreted as. Again, I don’t care if you hold a private opinion that differs. But when you start accusing those who disagree with this extreme interpretation of being the weird or wrong ones, that’s where it becomes an issue.

Dude's actions, while extreme, are presented within a certain context that aims to criticize or mock certain aspects of society. Pedophilia is not something that fits within this satirical style. Yes, even for Postal 1997. I don't care if it is generally considered more "serious" than other games, they still had Dude throwing out stupid-ass catchphrases in a silly radio-host-sounding voice that was obviously supposed to be a stark contrast to what was happening on screen (“Buttsauce”. “Smells like chicken” when burning NPCs. Really now? Go ahead and listen to more from the original. They’re all silly one-liners.). It was a shock at the time and a bit of dark humor. Following games only increased this aspect.

All in all, Postal Dude’s actions, while immoral, are usually presented in a way that allows for some level of detachment or absurdity, keeping them within the realm of dark comedy. Yes, 1997 is still included here. It’s an absurd game. One man took out hundreds of people and was armed to the teeth, even with literal rocket launchers. His main weapon has infinite ammunition. It was an obviously over-the-top video game with a loose connection to reality and an even looser message about “something something mental health and everyone has it in them to go postal”. It was a game made to shock people. Pedophilia, however, is universally considered an irredeemable act, something that cannot be framed in any context that would make it acceptable or even darkly humorous. The distinction between immoral and irredeemable acts is crucial here. The Postal Dude can be morally ambiguous, but crossing into irredeemable territory would fundamentally alter the character in a way that the game and its creators/99.9% of the fans do not support.

Also: “But muh 1997 promo art where it says his girlfriend was 17!! She says they just started dating 3 weeks ago!!” Yeah. The same photo was used with the girl also saying, “It was so weird. He told everyone I was his girlfriend, but I only met him once.” It says “live” near the bottom corner, implying this was an interview with the girl AFTER the crimes had taken place. In the promotional pic where it states she’s 17, it also says she DIED of third degree burns while he was on his rampage. Now that doesn’t really add up, does it. How can this girl give an interview after everything is said and done while also dying in the middle of his killing spree?

AKA, these promotional photos were reused over and over because they were on a budget and really not thinking about it, and are absolutely not valid for legit storytelling purposes at all. RWS has even said this themselves.

#postal dude #postal 1 #postal 1997 #postal 3 #postal 4 #go back 2 telegram lol #postal 2

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deepcoraldragon · 3 months ago

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Ccs publicly supporting Tommy & Tubbo and/or against Dream: a condensed list

A few days ago, I started a masterlist compiling every content creator (and other notable figures in the community) that I could find who reacted to the Dream-calls-inniters-the-r-slur-and-subsequent-crashout incident.

But since I updated the list in real time as new people reacted, and since I tried to include at least one (1) screenshot per person, it got messy and very long to scroll through. So here’s the organized, clean, final-ish version

Note 1: Take the categories with a grain of salt because I had to sort A Lot of different reactions from different contexts in like… less than 10 boxes. Which I failed at, by the way, there's 12. The "against Dream" category in particular has a big spectrum from jokey to serious. To know what people specifically said, refer to the other list, it has screenshots for almost everyone, or message me.

Note 2: this is wayyy more ccs than I could reasonably keep tabs on, so keep in mind people might've discussed the situation more than I was aware of, or generally could be in a different category. Also, reminder that this is only about what they said/did publicly from January 10th to 20th. Here goes

Directly and specifically discussed the situation

Tubbo (duh)

Sneegsnag

Ludwig

Robbo

AverageHarry

Purpled

Jack

In support of T&T and against Dream

MaxGGs

Aimsey

Bitzel

Dean Withers

Snifferish

Kara Corvus (I think)

Seapeekay

Jameskii

SophieTexas

ConnorEatsPants

Molly (melinks)

Yammy

Scott Smajor

Mysticat

CoyPiso

Pokimane

Kaceytron

Nan_dre

Pangi

ItsZoil

Raegan Revord, aka SettingSunset

Shayy

Jonnayy

In support of T&T

Philza

Shelby Shubble

RosannaPansino

James Marriott

WadZee

Étoiles

JojoSolos

Izethetic

Billzo

Roscumber (to aimsey)

MythicalSausage (to aimsey)

Daniel Howell

Phil Lester

BBNO$

Spoke against Dream (critics, jokes, etc.)

Ranboo

Kwite

Krinios

Its_blarg

Michael McChill

tapL

a6d

Mithzan

KyleEff

CG5

Martyn Inthelittlewood

Camman18

MunchingBrotato

BoomerNA

Valkyrae

Saltydkdan

Winner of the idgaf war

Quackity

Joked about the situation

Roier

Deadlox

CaptainPuffy

Possibly Crumb

Derivakat promoted her music does that count?

Ba Sing Se update

The rat bot

Santa decides

Reaction videos

Adam McIntyre

Louis McClung

Omni

PyroLIVE

Ludwig’s ex-roommates and co-podcasters

Neutral / unclear / staying out of it

Welsknight

xBCrafted

HannahRose

Vikkstar

Badboyhalo

Soupforeloise

Unfollowed Dream

Joel smallishbeans

Jimmy (solidaritygaming)

CubFan

Lizzie (LDShadowlady)

Editors & co.

Larry (talentlacking)

Yahiamice

Lettucesandwich

ArchieMcW

PepsB

Connor (ne0neclipse)

NoGoodDavis

Connie (luvconnies)

Hunter-hhhh

Alyssa

Animagician

Vinni2003

Lily (spxcelily)

Kit (reinfalllz)

VC-david (VCTF_)

Rudy (Rudylmaolive)

Lurkers

Antfrost

Freddy Badlinu

Guqqie

Aypierre

EvanMcGaming

Kristin

Niki Nihachu (probably)

Jonnay

Fundy

VelvetIsCake

Sapnap

Im a Squid Kid

Captainsparklez

Fitmc

Firebreathman

Lee_500

CaptainPuffy

Bekyamon

Crumb cuptoast

Oli TheOrionSound

Owengejuicetv

Ollie Highkeyhateme

Krowfang

Michela

YoItsGold

Spideyarmy

Apokuna

Prezoh

[and several more people]

Not ccs

Sarah Simons (Tommy’s mom)

Aby Manifold (Jack’s dad)

Andi (andivmg, Punz’s ex)

Hannah (25hamjam, Sneeg’s wife)

I know I made the list but Wow that is a lot of people

Hopefully I didn't misspell anyone's name but at this point... This already took way too long. Thanks again to the people who sent me tips and insider info!

Once again, full post is here, hope you enjoyed, bye!

#discourse #long post #dream situation #dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #tubbo #dream smp #mcyt

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bunybunn · 3 months ago

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Okay enough time passed for me to try to put it all my thoughts about the Dream situation in one place at least until the Shut up i'm talking (patreon only 7$!!!) episode comes out.

First of all let's not forget that all of this started because Dream got involved in Twitter beef that had nothing to do with him. Sure xQc mentioned Dream's name but it was in reference to Tommy "dickriding" Dream when he was starting making content. It was dig at Tommy that didn't needed Dream's response in the slightest however the green guy didn't care and posted meme using r-word. Which obviously gain shit ton of backlash from every normal enough person because that is a slur. This also means that a lot of people reacted and talked about it including Tubbo.

The fact that this followed with 3 hours stream where Dream specifically reacted to Tubbo is ridiculous by itself. All he had to do is apologise and take responsibility for using a slur but instead Dream felt the need to pull out old controversy and pull more content creators into it. Additionally despite himself claiming that you should not cut things out of context he was skipping parts of Tubbo's stream and did not watched in in full. Also it's important to mention that the "apology" he did said in the said stream was especially "I saw people on Internet calling me that and I thought that means I can use it as a slur as well" which is an insane take that also sounded like something little kid would use as ane excuse.

Next important stop is Tommy's response. It was basically just Tommy telling Dream that he doesn't want to associate with him anymore. It's worth pointing out Tom's video was done in one take style, the was no big editing but rather just Tommy shearing his opinion and his feelings. Because of that we got few hyperboles like Dream "harassing" Tommy's mom and him being described as a movie villain-like.

Then you have the Dreams response to Tommy that was definitely not done with good intentions. Unlike Tom's one Dream's video was edited, he added music, pictures that were not proofs but were there to invoked specific emotions and also a short in Minecraft scene when he referenced his dream smp character. In my opinion that video was perfect example of how to manipulate audiences with content. He ensured that Tom's arguments seemed ridiculous, usually by taking it out of context like he did with the sexism part as well as with Tommy saying he was behind dream smp success, or pulled heavier accusations that make Tommy looked bad. Keep in mind how insane it actually was to after Dream had his content and merch be called lazy going straight to using case of scummy company that produced Tommy's merch at some point and has legal case against it that Dream had no deeper knowledge about and using rumors that Tommy is/was mistreating his editors using screanshots that were cropped and taken without consent of people in those. All of it while Dream was trying to act like he is still the good guy who so respects everyone and just wants everyone to get along.

The thing is Tubbo's discussion with Dream proved that was absolute bullshit. During the conversation it was clear genuinely expected it to go as he usually described private calls aka after he gets to explain himself the other person will see it his way. Unfortunately for him he heavily underestimated Tubbo, who did phenomenal job try to point out Dream missteps and make good arguments. Still Dream's behaviour was very much manipulative during it. I think the moment that shows it the most was the part where they talked about the merch company where Tubbo got to the point where he slipped and mentioned that there was one case of child labor in said company, something that clear came from his insider knowledge, and Dream started to use Tubbo's words against him to justify himself even though he had not know about it when making his video therefore it was irrelevant. His attitude also was very much "rules for thee not for me" any time Tubbo tried to hold Dream to the same standards Dream is holding other people who talk about him. Another thing that rubbed me the wrong way was how hard Dream was trying to make himself look good at the very end of the discussion by throwing complements and trying to act as if everything got resolved. I'm pretty sure he hoped this would encourage people to talking it out with him in private but I feel this might have the opposite effect since everyone got to see how such call would potencialy look like.

#dream situation #tubbo #tommyinnit #dream neg

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pastorfutureletthembe · 3 months ago

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I love YINGDU as it is

I don't think I'll read these interviews everyone is talking about :/ I thought hard about it, I've read the general points of it, but I don't think reading them will make me enjoy YINGDU more. Quite the opposite actually.

Me: thank you but no thank you. Later maybe. Love you, still.

I don't understand why they had to get interviewed to clear things up. By why, I mean, this situation is fucked up and I don't get how things got like this in this industry.

First. Can't the fans just wait and see? We're grownups, stop treating us like children who cried to get a lollipop. We'll still be here next year. Trust your fanbase.

Second... in what kind of world were the animators under pressure to the point they created plot holes and new timelines by accident? I'm extrapolating but, for real, how fucked up is it that they decided to rush a show that popular for the sake of airing it early? I'm sorry, was the money we spend on merch every few weeks not enough? I'm just mad at the production, honestly. Because they made a big mistake.

They're rushing in like bulls in a china shop. The character PVs were a mistake as well. They should have been released after YINGDU, to manage our expectations on characters that were yet to be introduced. I used to think it was an actual teaser, a window on how Lu Guang saw them or what they will become because of Lu Guang's meddling with the timeline. Now, I'm starting to think they needed strong marketing to get people's attention.

The whole thing makes my viewer experience less than optimal. So I'll keep writing meta but I won't take these interviews into account. 🧩Meta is for fun🧩, mere interpretation, only fanon, and that's okay. Meta is gamble. Meta is character study and theories on plot twists.

✨And that's okay✨

We're not suppose to write season 3 in advance. So it makes sense to me to keep having fun on what the show and the official content bring us. But as far as I'm concerned, the interviews didn't happen. It's not denial, just-

When I was studying cinema in university, my teacher once told me a very harsh truth: if you have to explain the sequence you filmed, then you didn't film it right. Sadly, in this context, production limitations were at fault but the lasting impression is the same.

Do you realize how insane it is that a creative team has to spell their work out to their fans? How humiliating it must be? There's revealing easter egg, teasing next season, spilling spoilers on accident, and then there is whatever that was. I feel for the creators and animators who worked themselves to exhaustion to bring something as beautiful as YINGDU to life. Because this season? It isn't perfect and it's inconsistent and different but no one can call it ugly. I would lick my screen because the image does look tasty lmao. My heart bleeds for all the people involved in this season.

Meta is trying to understand and noticing easter eggs, honouring the writers and animators' work X

Of course, that's only my stand on the topic. I might take different directions in my interpretation than others, that's all. Aaaaaand? Yes. That's okay 🥰

As an artist myself, I feel like the situation is kind of disappointing for the people who worked on YINGDU. That's why I'll take the canon as it is. I don't want to mourn what could be or should have been. I want to enjoy what is.

Meta is diving in the depth of symbolism X

As a fan, I get that we're happy with every nugget of information on what's coming next. The lore in Link Click is still blurry and while I honestly want to believe it is an artistic choice and will stay under control, I can't help but fear it's the result of bad writing. But. What if it is? Meh, I'm still here, enjoying myself. Because I love this show as it is, I see the flaws and the beauty in it. I'll be there.

Meta is love and each of us expresses it differently X

#the daily life of alice's hyperfixation #link click #时光代理人 #shiguang dailiren #director li haoling speaking #meta #is this meta?#this fandom feels like home

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neuroticbookworm · 7 months ago

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Engagement of QL Fandom in Indian Queer Media

I was tagged by @lurkingshan and invited to respond to an ask she received from @impala124 that noted the absence of India in the Asian queer media spaces and discussions, and questioned the reasons behind it. @starryalpacasstuff has also responded to it in a great post (check out the reblog additions for a treasure trove of Indian queer media recs), discussing, among many things, Korea’s culture export aiding their queer media ventures, access to Indian queer media, and the quality of Indian queer media. @twig-tea’s addition discussed the ease of access of Thai BLs via YouTube and how it prompted Korea and Japan to re-enter the genre.

My thoughts on Indian queer media are complicated and involve several detours to understand Indian media culture, its economic power, and how it navigates international viewership. For context, I am an Indian cinephile who grew up watching a wide variety of Indian media in terms of both language and genre. I naturally transitioned into watching Western content as globalization of the 2010s brought HBO and Comedy Central to Indian screens, and later sought out queer media, Asian media and Asian queer media on the internet.

Indian Media Industry - A Primer

I know there are a lot of countries right now that produce QL media, so I am gonna mainly consider Thailand, Japan, and Korea, the three countries most prolific with ql, for the purpose of this discussion. All of these countries, while regionally diverse, have managed to considerably homogenize in language and culture over the course of history and colonization. India, on the other hand, is still significantly and distinctly diverse in language, culture, religion, food, media styles, social norms, and on and on. India has 22 official languages and thousands of regional ones that are used in various capacities everyday. This diversity is then reflected in the media produced by India, with multiple powerhouse film industries dominating box offices simultaneously. Bollywood is the biggest one and obviously well known internationally, but Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Kannada, Punjabi, Bengali-language film industries are successful in their own right and consistently produce box office hits and self-sustain in the larger Indian media landscape. This makes domestic media highly regional in India. Even today, in the age of social media, it takes a box office success to the tune of hundreds of millions of rupees for a film to break out of its domestic audience and cross over into other Indian states.

This diversity has also led to the different industries developing media styles unique to them. I watched this video a while ago of a creator documenting his experience of dipping toes into Indian Cinema for the first time, and he ends up covering three movies from three different industries, because the pathos of each of them is so fundamentally different yet effective in their own ways. This diversity also applies to the television industry, both traditional cable TV soaps, and the modern shows made for streaming sites. And all of this, *waves hands*, presents a set of challenges like no other country faces for both Indian queer creators and Indian queer media audiences.

The Challenges for Creators

Since the Indian media industry is not a big monolith and is made up of multiple film industries, queer creators who are trying to get their foot in the door will face a unique uphill battle in whichever regional industry they’re trying to break into. And trying to research, learn, and understand each and every single one of them will take me and my non-existent research team years, so the simpler thing to do would be listing the factors that have worked for other countries to foster their media industries to produce QL content, and discuss if India could replicate them. The list goes like this:

Japan’s rich history in yaoi

Thailand’s use of BL as a soft power to promote tourism

Korea’s culture export via kpop and other media

While India does have religious mythology that discusses sex, gender and queerness, it is often subtext with a lot of intersectionality. Does Ardhanarishvara represent fluid gender, or a symbol of harmony, or both? The debates are endless. Japan’s yaoi roots are as deep as they are explicit. And this rich history could be why the Japanese domestic audience is open to queer media even when the country is still conservative.

Thailand’s rise as a major player in the QL industry is remarkable, but there is a case to be made that the country’s media industry was directly and indirectly boosted by the government’s interest in establishing revenue from tourism, and exporting culture to international audiences via food and media. While the revenue from tourism in India is substantial, the Indian economy is not built on it. And the Indian media industry is thriving and regularly makes bank with their already established content models, so the producers have a pretty low incentive to deviate and fund queer media.

I bet every coin I own that not a single one of us on this hellsite have successfully eluded the allure of Korean media in our lives. The Korean media industry is a well-calibrated machine that shall and will target every single human into funneling their time, attention and money into the Korean culture and economy. And I think queer creators looking to make queer content in Korea would’ve had good incubation in an industry that was looking to make as much content as possible. And once again, while Indian movies have significant international box office collections, that is not where the Indian media industry, and just India in general, makes its money. The priorities are just not the same. And to be perfectly honest, India is nowhere near the level of Korea at producing and exporting television shows to international audiences.

All of this is a long winded way of saying that the conditions required to foster a QL industry in India are not the same as what we have seen work so far from the other major players. And sadly no one has really figured out the winning formula yet.

These are just a few reasons, and I haven’t even discussed nepotism and how painful class mobility is in India, making it even harder for new queer creators to break into the industry. There’s a reason why movies with queer representation like Badhaai Do, Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan, Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga, and Kapoor & Sons all feature characters in the upper middle class or above. Hell, they’re even played by actors whose portfolio is already filled with daring and experimental roles, or by first- or second-gen nepo babies who would literally have nothing to lose from the potential backlash for playing a queer character. Poor, queer characters in Indian media have never been a part of a fluffy romance as far as I know. They are reserved for the gritty dramas where intersectionality of queerness, poverty, class and caste could be examined.

The Challenges for the Audience

And once again, all of this, *aggressively waves hands*, makes things harder for even the domestic audience to engage with Indian queer media, let alone international audiences. Kathaal - The Core, a 2023 Malayalam movie about a queer man in his fifties coming out of the closet and contesting in his village body elections, was a box office success in Kerala, and I can tell y’all with complete certainty that not many people outside of Kerala would’ve even heard of it. And this was not some small indie venture – in fact, the lead characters were played by Mammootty and Jyothika, who are both absolute legends in their own right in the South Indian film industry.

Super Deluxe was a 2019 Tamil-language black comedy film that tells four interwoven stories that run in parallel, and one of the stories is about a trans woman who, pre-transition, was married and had a son. She returns to her family as her post-transition self after years of disappearance, and the film engages in conversation around sex and gender, through the innocent questions of her young son. The movie is gorgeously made, and outrageously sharp and witty in its commentary on society’s views on sex, morality, religion and family. And once again, I don’t think it is well-known outside of the domestic and international award-circuit audiences it was promoted to (last I checked, it was available to domestic audiences on Netflix).

Sometimes, even the domestic audience might miss the queer representation in their regional media when it is indie enough to not get aggressively promoted. The Hindi-language anthology movie from Netflix, Ajeeb Daastaans (2021), featured a story where two women from different caste and social class meet at the workplace (the sapphic story, Geeli Pucchi, starts at 1:17:05, if anyone wants to check it out). It served biting commentary on the intersectionality of queerness, misogyny, caste and class. And once again, I’ve never found a person with whom I could discuss it with (other than my mom, with whom I watched it).

And sometimes, even when a massive show with queer representation is well promoted and well received by critics, it still manages to fly under the radar in Indian queer fandom spaces. Amazon Prime India spent a lot of coin on the show Made in Heaven (2019) – and it was worth it. The show follows the lives of two wedding planners, Tara and Karan. Karan is closeted (except to his close friends) for most of the show, but after he makes some powerful enemies in his line of work, he gets publicly outed, which puts him on the path of dealing with his family’s shades of acceptance, queer rights activism, and reconciling with an old friend. The car scene in episode 9 made me cry, and yet I’ve never read a word about this show from Indian QL fan blogs here on Tumblr.

Following every film and TV show that releases in one language, across all modes and platforms, and keeping an eye out for queer representation is hard enough. Doing it in multiple languages is downright impossible. And then personal preferences come into play. Personally, I enjoy nearly all genres of media, but I am primarily an angst monster, so I seek out and watch sad shit on the regular. All four examples I’ve listed in this section are good queer representations, but they are deeply sad, rage-inducing, heartbreaking and realistic. If one wanted to watch an Indian queer romance that’s inside the bubble, I’m not sure if they can even find one – I have certainly not come across any. Even the queer Bollywood movies designed for a box office run, paying homage to iconic Bollywood romance sequences, were still outside the bubble. When a niche audience like the QL fandom collides with a complex media-churning machine like the Indian media industry that is fundamentally not designed to cater to them, all we get is a lot of puzzled looks and question marks.

A Thought Experiment On The Future Of Indian QLs

Now that I have established the challenges, I want to engage in a little thought experiment – if we were to receive a steady stream of Indian QL content, what would it look like, and how can the fandom engage with it?

If we are looking for content from a stable production entity for Indian queer media, like Thailand’s GMMTV, Japan’s MBS Drama Shower, and Korea’s Strongberry, we would be waiting for a long time, at the very least a decade or two. What we could get are small indie queer shows like Romil and Jugal, squirreled away in a streaming platform exclusive to India and only accessible internationally via VPN. Another example is the list of sapphic shows @twig-tea shared with us a while ago, here. These are gonna be low budget, probably-not-great-quality shows reminiscent of early GMMTV.

Another variety of QL content we could get are the Bollywood queer romance films and TV shows. They will be cheesy and tropey and romantic, and might interact with the bubble, but probably mostly from the safety of an upper middle class setting. This means they would eventually run out of fresh perspectives they could tune into in their limited scope and the stories might turn stale and repetitive (I’m deriving this from the general state of things in the Indian media landscape over the last couple years). International access might be a little easier than the previous case, but not as easy as going to YouTube and hitting play.

The third and final variety are the gritty dramas with heavy social, cultural, religious, gender and class commentary that Indian cinema industry has always made, and has upgraded in the recent years to include queerness. Once again, the access will be hard, but if we are looking for queer stories that also show the audience what it is like being queer in India, beyond the glitz, the glam and the colors of pre-packaged Indian experience often sold to the West, this is where we will find it. Most of it will be sad, but we are a sad bunch who constantly make sad shit, so it will be on brand for us.

And all of these different varieties of content are gonna need to be picked up and promoted by the Indian folks in the QL fandom who are tuned into these regional industries. India not being a cultural monolith that is easy to package and ship is precisely why we have all these beautiful and crazy and sometimes even contradictory styles of media that are offered for us to explore. And therefore, the fandom engagement on Indian QL content would also vastly differ from the fandom engagement for Japan, Thailand and Korea. A dedicated fandom captain might not emerge, but rather, a collective group of folks tuning into and promoting finds from their regional industries would be the way to go. In addition, if this content is not available in English, we would need fan subbers to provide translation expertise to even make it accessible, something we see often for Japanese media on Tumblr.

I know from observation that watching media in a different regional language could sometimes be as foreign to Indian audiences as watching media from other countries. The language, traditions, mannerisms, social mores and food would all be different from region to region, but I guess it would be a good litmus test to observe how well the fandom acclimates to a culture that is so eye-wateringly diverse and not as constantly promoted to them.

When I was texting @waitmyturtles discussing how we can approach answering this question (remember when this all started with a question, some two thousand-ish words ago? Yes, that question), at a point in our conversation I exclaimed "Ugh, everything in India is too complicated!" This long-ass post of mine is in no way the complete account of why things are the way they are in the Indian queer media landscape. But all I know for sure is that it’s not simple. And I really do not want anything related to India to be simple, because being unbearably frustrating and complicated is not a bug, but a feature of India. The road to Indian QLs is unique, but I will do my best to check the paths and share and recommend them to my friends whenever possible. And I invite my fellow Indian QL fans to do the same.

#well i sure didn't start the draft with a plan to write >2k words #and yet here we are #indian queer media #indian ql #fandom meta #long post #media recs #made in heaven #super deluxe #badhaai do #shubh mangal zyada saavdhan

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metalheads-trash-bin · 6 months ago

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THIS WILL BE THE LAST TROLLS POST I EVER MAKE.

First off, thank you to those of you that continued to show all the work I make love. Thank you for caring for my work other than Trolls.

Now, onto this post and my final statements about this fandom.

I joined the fandom late, I’d always technically been a part of it but never interacted until about a year or so ago through this site. Immediately I got interaction and a good amount of followers, a lot of people enjoying my work and wanting more.

That “wanting more” slowly became harassment as I got messages every day from a select few people commanding me to continue writing or making fanart. This slowly started to seep into me but was NOT the nail in the coffin. Even as i got handfuls of asks commanding more.

The nail was how the fandom handles abuse and abusers. I am a punk person, to those of you that know my Tiktok i post a LOT of punk content and have gained so much interaction. I am well known in a lot of communities and am even trying to advocate for the people that cant. It is BASE LINE respect to “always believe the victim”. Base line. Yet as soon as a very POPULAR and HIGHLY FOLLOWED creator who is being accused of abuse posts content back showing very explicit conversations and mental breakdowns to embarrass you into silence everyone FLOCKS to them. I had so many friends in this fandom, and as soon as i was publicly HUMILIATED by him for speaking out, i was being blocked. Some of the people i used to make fanart for and support are now people i look at with fear and disgust. This includes my fans, people who BETRAYED me and did not stand with me. Didnt QUESTION why all of a sudden I deleted everything?

Let me lay things out for you all, FINALLY. Since im fucking PISSED. He BLACKMAILED ME INTO SILENCE. He got his boyfriend to THREATEN ME. And when all was said and done as i was choking on my sobs? He kept the post UP. His post with THOUSANDS of views and comments saying disgusting things about me. Because no one gave a FUCK about the fact that me and my friend both came out about horrors when it came to him and his new boyfriend.

I am so disgusted and disappointed as to how my fans reacted to this all, i had even gotten a dm PRAISING ME for going back into silence. That broke my fucking heart.

Why am i bringing this up now? Because a multitude of his art for Fliff had had messages for me. Which NO ONE but me and my fiance knew about. Dictator barb? Message. Floyd saying insults to riff? Message. Are you all that illiterate to context of someones character? Did the INCEST HE PUT ON HIS TWITTER NOT SAY ANYTHING??? JD and his BROTHER having a threesome, completely naked said NOTHING? And when someone pointed it out he said he didnt give a shit.

No one gave a FUCK. I have so much dirt on one of his friends i used to ADORE that i will never utter even though he also fucking abandoned me because he knew him longer and believed i was the wailing banshee.

So overall, trolls fandom, get your FUCKING ACT STRAIGHT. About victims. And about context.

I am a HUMAN BEING. My callout was not something to laugh at and silence just because you like the PORN he draws.

He’s once again posting after i was able to get him to fuck off from this fandom for almost a year. The relief i felt for that year was bliss. And now? I can barely fucking breathe. Once again i feel trapped.

So FUCK YOU ALL.

Have a fucking ANGRY and HURT tw of self harm under this sentence.

Good riddance, Trolls fandom. This is the last i will utter a word about the fandom or my experience. I am so disappointed.

#trolls band together #trolls world tour #trolls movie #dreamworks trolls #trolls #dw trolls #trolls 3 #fliff trolls #riff trolls #barb and floyd being best buds #trolls with paws #trolls drawing #trolls with tails #trolls art #SoundCloud

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deadeyedfae · 1 year ago

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Hey everyone! I need your help! Please read below the comic 💜🏳️‍⚧️

Our lovely Kayla of @kaylasartwork is having to deal with alot right now and one thing that we can help with is get Webtoons to sort themselves out!

Below is a link to file a report and also a screenshot of what I filled out on mine

As a community that prides itself on supporting eachother I say we need to support Kayla anyway we can right now, absolutely no one should have to deal with this but I'm sure you can all agree that Kayla is a wonderful person and we all want her safe!

For context for anyone thats is unsure what's been happening, Kayla has been targeted by one individual on many accounts doxxing her on every post she makes on Webtoons as well as messaging friends and fans with the same details.

Here is what I typed in the body of the complaint:

(Hi

It has been brought to my attention that the creator of It's The Small Things: My Trans Journey has been receiving comments on all of her uploads doxxing her.

This is unsafe at the best of times but as Kayla is a trans woman it is especially worrying. The accounts posting this information are all from the same source but with diffrent usernames, using handles that are full of slurs and other inappropriate content.

As this is a matter of safety I trust you will do all in your power to find a solution to this.

I await your response

Fae)

Please do what we do best and let's support Kayla and call Webtoons to action!

Thank you everyone 💜💜

#Webtoons #trans rights #transgender #transfem #support #queer artist #lgbtq #artists of tumblr #furry #Help Kayla #Webtoons must act

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drive-pdfs-and-stuff · 1 year ago

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Hello! This is a blog primarily focused on making animal books (mainly Xenofiction) more accessible to those who can't get them legally (or don't want to support the creators)

I've made two separate drives that contain A LOT of pdfs of said books, such as Warrior Cats, Wings of Fire, Ratha's Creature, Watership Down, Survivors and many more you can see on this list

You can ask for the links through messages or comments!

More details about this under the cut!

Why not share the drives here?

Well, the last time I saw someone do that, the links got taken down, so instead I'll be sharing them through DMs!

Also, don't be shy to ask any questions.

There are two drives, the Main Books drive, and the Mature Books drive (which is mostly still a work in progress)

Please, specify if you want access to the mature books drive, and only ask for it if you're 18 years old or older, I will be checking if you have your age/age range in bio, if you don't have it, you can also say you're an adult when asking for it. (It's not a foolproof system, I know, but It's not like I want to ask for personal details)

The main drive has books that range from Family friendly to other series with an age rating of +13 or +15.

(I usually censor slurs before uploading the PDFs, but this time around, because of my own triggers, I haven't checked the contents of them and left the books the same as they were upon release, including slurs) (just because I left them intact, does not mean I agree with the usage of said words in the context of the books, which is why I added warnings for each slur in a document inside the drive) (I've personally censored every slur I've found in the books of the main drive, however)

The mature books drive has animal books that have a lot of content not appropriate for minors, such as animals going into heat cycles, uncensored slurs and a lot of other dark topics (like SA, for example). (Just because there's animal heat scenes doesn't mean that I condone the enjoyment of said scenes, if I see someone claiming to be zoophile wanting access to the drive, they will be blocked on sight) (This is not a safe space for anyone attracted to animals in such ways)

Some gross people have already asked me for the link to the mature drive, if more people like them keep asking for it i WILL DELETE IT.

For reference, this drive has books like Ratha's Creature and One for Sorrow, Two for Joy.

ALL BOOKS IN BOTH DRIVES HAVE A DOCUMENT LISTING ALL TRIGGER AND CONTENT WARNINGS FOR EACH SERIES.

The trigger warnings were sourced from book reviews and pages focused on giving content warnings.

Here are other questions you may have:

Can I share the link once I have it?

Yes! As long as you don't share it in public internet spaces (comments, public posts, open discord servers with huge amounts of people) it should be fine. I would love to make it public, however I also don't want it to get taken down minutes after sharing, which is why I'm limiting it to private links.

Can I take the PDFs from the drive and use them on my own drive?

Of course! The entire point of this is to make these books more accessible! Take whatever you need from here!

Have a nice reading! I will keep giving out the links for as long as this post is still up (or gets taken down or something happens to me lol)

#warrior cats #wings of fire #the lost rainforest #silverwing #Bamboo Kingdom #survivors #drive update

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fractualized · 1 year ago

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The Big Ongoing "Batjokes In Comics" Spreadsheet

This is a project I've been working on for a while, spurred by how often I see panels floating around with no source and trying to place batjokes moments in wider contexts. I assume it would be useful to other people, so I thought I'd share!

Link: Batjokes in Comics

What this spreadsheet IS:

A list of significant moments regarding the relationship between Batman and Joker in comics, ordered by cover date. (But you can sort your own view.) [EDIT: I've split it into different sheets by eras to reduce scrolling. But there's still much scrolling.]

Again, an ongoing project. It is not yet a comprehensive list. It may never be a comprehensive list, because there's so much content for these two characters.

Searchable not just by cover dates, titles, and creator names, but notable quotes and descriptions to help pinpoint events.

Full of spoilers.

Time-consuming. I check every issue so I know the sheet is accurate. Current planned entries are cobbled together at the bottom.

Open to feedback. If there's an entry you really want to see, feel free to send me enough information about the issue to look it up. It still may take me a while to get to it, though.

This spreadsheet is NOT:

An exhaustive list of absolutely every single time Batman and Joker are in the same comic. It may get close, but if they merely appear in the same issue and nothing of interest happens with them, it's not included. (For example, issue #2 of TDKR is left out.)

A list of recommendations. Comics I hate are in here. [EDIT: OK I've highlighted some I would suggest in green.]

A list of only "romantic" moments. Negative interactions are included.

A source for moments from TV shows, movies, or video games.

#batjokes #batjokes spreadsheet #batman #joker

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ominium · 3 months ago

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do i look like him?

character : geto s. context : suguru want satoru but satoru not there >:( pov : second (you bruh) content : angst no comf :( never comfort :( also written with lyrics/song-based (some verses are skipped) + one (1) curse word

note(s) : got flooded with ‘like him’ edits (tyler, the creator), so here you go. also i’m alive soz for not posting >.< ++ not edited, if there's a part that looks confusing buh! +++ i know 'like him' is abt tyler's relationship with his dad...i'm taking the lyrics very face value here

—

Mama, I’m chasin’ a ghost

Every morning, you woke up in the estate to an empty bed. Stretching your limbs, you get ready for the day to do what you did yesterday: walk around, and be a trophy.

I don’t know who he is

Some days, you would stroll around the garden, counting each blooming flower for the millionth time. Others, making small talk with the people.

Mama, I’m chasin’ a ghost

On a good day, you would get to share a conversation–maybe even a meal–with Suguru, who always seemed busy with his ‘cause.’ Most of the time, though, you seldom even get to see him: always going to bed alone, always waking up alone.

I don’t know where he is

One thing you did notice, however, is the interesting amount of photos littered around the estate: almost none. You had taken some with your beloved partner, but you’ve only ever seen them as your own background…and you weren’t allowed to take a peek at his device.

Mama, I’m chasin’ a ghost

“Hey, I need to talk to the people tonight. Can you join me?” Suguru asked, taking another spoonful of his soup. You ponder, staring down into your untouched bowl. The both of you know that you have no plans…you never do. So why the hesitation?

“Alright. I will see you then.”

Do I look…

At the event that night, you sat next to Suguru at the main table, nodding and clapping along as you needed to during his speech. Eloquent words spewed from his mouth, seemingly filled with passion and raw emotion; emotions that you wished could reach you again.

At some point, Suguru had wandered away from the table to share conversations–most likely with the top financial supporters. All you could do was watch from afar, sipping your lukewarm tea every now and then. People-watching wasn’t new to you, and being a trophy partner certainly wasn’t new at all during events like these.

As you looked around, analyzing each attendee, your eyes fell to a shine to your side. With widened eyes, you dare to keep a straight face while staring down at the cell phone. ‘He’s never left it unattended…’ Your thought trails off, eyes wandering out to find him.

With his attention completely focused on a large group of people, the urge starts to creep up, stubborn to breach your mind. You trusted Suguru, right? You followed him out here because of your trust, right? Because he cared for you just as you cared for him?

You wouldn’t look through your partner's phone out of distrust, right?

Slowly, your thoughts shifted to self-manipulation: it’s perfectly fine to look through your partner’s phone on a whim–out of, say, boredom. You knew of the trust between the two of you, so it wouldn’t have mattered if you looked through his phone or not…even if you’ve never done it before.

(Like what?)

You grasp the device, palms getting clammy…the device feeling heavy. Is this right?

Like him

You look back up to make sure he hasn’t moved. Why would you check though? Why did you check? You shake the thoughts out of your mind, looking back down at his phone.

I would never ever lie to you

Clicking the power button, your eyes stare dead into the screen. Your first instinct was to move to Suguru, who filled up half of the screen. He looked as beautiful as he was right now, his long hair tied back, an unfamiliar yet natural smile adorning his face. The tiniest smile crept up onto you, seeing what you thought was a great look on him.

You ain’t ever gotta lie to me

I’m everything that I’ve strived to be

Your smile finally falters to near-horror seeing not you, but a white-haired man sharing a similar grin. A feeling of confusion, realization, grief, and despair swirls around you all at once.

It was Gojo Satoru. Gojo. Fucking. Satoru. Your eyes widened more, staring at the picture as a whole. It was a selfie of the two of them, looking happy, as if the world wasn’t going to tear them apart. It was taken before that mission.

It was taken when Suguru was happy.

So do I look like him?

As you put away the phone in haste, your eyes wander back to Suguru, who had moved on to another group of people. How long has he been like this? How long had Gojo been at the forefront of Suguru’s mind?

Was what Suguru felt to you real?...or did he just replace who he couldn’t have to someone he could.

Do I look like him?

Your mind wanders back to the garden, lined with the blue Forget-Me-Nots and white Lilies. You think back to every meal shared…they, ironically, always fell on the same day of every month: the 7th. You think back to last December, reminiscing about the more-extravagant dinner that he had set up. “It’s to celebrate Christmas early, honey. You know I get busy around that time.” You think about all the other 7th of the months you had eaten with him. “I just had free time today.” “The world seemed a bit brighter today.” “It was a striking blue, with a few of the whitest clouds I’ve ever seen.”

It all made sense now.

(Like him, like him, like him, like him)

You stare at Suguru with despair, frustration…disappointment. He was happily chatting away, unbeknownst to the new knowledge you’ve uncovered. Each passing second, you think back to every speck of affection he had shown you. The bouts of doubt that he would erase with one caress, one hug.

The candy bowl that was never empty.

The assortment of cakes you were able to eat wherever, whenever.

The signs. They were there. They were always there.

I don’t look like him

The evening was over…to you, at least. With the music seeming to not end, the conversations not dying, you decided it was best there and then to leave. To escape.

There was no point in finding reason. There was no need to put in the effort to understand. What was missing? What could’ve fixed it all? That it was all just a mere coincidence?

You left the event hall, each stride heavier than the last. Your mind was foggy, but you knew one thing: you wouldn’t sleep until you got away.

(Like him)

#jjk #angst #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen #geto #suguru #geto s #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #suguru geto x reader

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isackwhy · 1 year ago

Text

still high but cooking. I SHARE COOK

isaacwhy x chubby! reader hc’s sfw

(small mentions of ED)

sfw

AS SOMEONE W EXPERIENCE

gym rats love us

as much as we want to deny it bc of insecurities they love us

so pls don’t be worried about that w him. i get it but he’ll reassure u each time that it doesn’t matter to him

plus i’m pretty sure yumi was talking about the new gamersupps girl who was chubby like the new design or whatever and that isaac liked it. which he didn’t deny

i need to re-find that podcast if anyone knows LMK

if ur a content creator and get the occasional hate on ur body and it gets to it isaac is immediately distracting you

telling u it’s bullshit

“some days they get me. other days they don’t.”

“yeah? fuck them. you’re hot.”

the first few times he asks if u want to go to the gym u say no out of fear and bc in ur head he was saying u needed to go

he assured u that’s not what he meant and that he just wanted to spend time w u anywhere :)

if u guys were bffs beforehand he knows every little warning sign that ur getting insecure about ur body

even if u aren’t he learns quickly

he notices how ur suddenly counting calories or eating less or staying in pjs and not wanting to be intimate

u feel bad. feeling like it might just be repetitive at this point for him

“you always help me when i feel like shit, right? everytime i stress about a video or feel like it’ll be shit you help me. and that’s kinda often. why wouldn’t i help you?” is what he says everytime u feel bad

obsessed w ur thighs

always grabbing onto them, laying them across his legs

love handles? he puts them to use 👍🏻 ykyk

if ur like me u don’t like whoever ur dating to touch ur tummy while ur cuddling. like it’ll remind them it’s there

this man will kiss ur stomach the first time it happens and honest to god u kinda hate it but he’s whispering such sweet things u can’t stop him

“you’re so pretty. so so pretty.”

“alright alright stop please.”

“not till you believe me.”

u hate when u smile bc of ur double chin that always makes an appearance but isaac has a whole folder labeled “y/n’s smile” so pls take a breath

“i’d look better in that if i was someone else,” u point to the somewhat fitting dress on ur screen

“if u don’t buy that right now i might have a stroke, babe.”

u buy it. well. he buys it. it comes in the mail and u we’re not leaving the house that day

ur known to his community and when rumors start to swirl that u guys might be dated, there was also hate that came w it

“isaac would never date someone like that.” a comment reads

that’s a fear of urs ofc but….he’s currently laying next to u and not some other random person so

soft launching until u just give in and hard launch

u guys were already all over each others stories and social medias but after u guys start dating and want to slowly reveal it u guys post a picture of each other every month on the date of ur anniversary w out any context

it’s fun lowkey

will always back u up

the boys and him make sure they don’t fat jokes around u

u told them it’s fine bc it’s a thing between them but isaac could see how uncomfy u got w then sometimes

when he can tell ur mental state is affecting how u see how u look he won’t talk about the gym around u and makes sure the boys don’t either

just the little things

he tried to give u hoodies but u refuse bc ur scared they won’t fit u

he has oversized hoodies and looks at u like ur crazy

“this will fit you babe,” he shakes the black hoodie in front of u as u shiver from the breeze in his backyard

“no. no. i’m fine.”

“lifts ur arms up—“

“wha—“

“lift!”

u comply. the hoodie fits.

“told u.”

nsfw >:)

u didn’t wanna show him ur body the first time around

u left ur oversized hoodie on, isaacs hands snaked under it to hold ur boobs

body worship bruh

kisses every part of u, leaving marks and little bites along ur thighs

u also made him leave the lights off until recently

“i wanna see you properly baby,” he says between the kisses of a heavy makeout

you pout, “isy—“

“you’re gorgeous. you’re amazing and i want to see all of it,” he says, attacking your neck in kisses

how could u not give in honestly

at this point the hoodie is gone everything and u try and use ur arms to cover urself but he won’t let you nope nope nope

fucks u in front of a mirror everytime u feel like shit

“look how pretty, hm? u can’t see what i see? i’ll make sure you do. don’t worry, hun.”

he said that while holding eye contact w u and u nearly lost it there

#tgc x reader #the group chat podcast x reader #the group x reader #the group chat podcast #isaacwhy #isaacwhy x reader

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