#and in general ive been worrying about my future

[timetravelstudies]

GOD I LOVE people and humans beings and such. Yeah❤️

[kirexa]

There's a lot of things that if you guys knew you would probably yell at me abt

[conderkyl]

Big dumb heart

[bonefall]

This is unrelated to the blog's subject, but I'm SUPER hyped about this upcoming indie game called Critter Cove and I've got some super cool news; I got to give the devs some critter designs to show up as Townies you can invite to live in your town!

This isn't even all of them-- in total I've made well over 40 designs that they're gonna pick and choose from. These ones are just some of my favorites.

This character creator is CRAZY good. It's hard to find animals you can't make. Cow, squid, human, raptor, duck, I was even able to make a half-decent Anomalocaris up there. The ones that are difficult to make, like giraffes, horses, and insects, are actually planned to be added in soon.

Critter Cove plays like a mix between Animal Crossing and Subnautica. You sail around to collect scrap from the remains of sunken ruins, rebuild a rundown town on a polluted island, and make it appealing for both residents and visitors. There's also a plan to add a museum feature, dozens of islands, fishing mechanics, and even co-op in the future.

(but co-op will only come if the game's enough of a hit, which is why I'm shamelessly plugging it lmaoo)

It's launching into Early Access on September 10th, but it's got a VERY generous free demo which is only supposed to be "the first two hours" of the game...

...and I'm clocking 61.

(yes everyone this is part of the reason why ive been quiet lately. its a good game, man. i cant help it. im going coconuts.)

Progression stops when you re-build the cafe, but you can keep playing, sailing around, running quests, and doing some simple gardening. Your progress rolls over into Early Access too, so you don't have to worry about losing your townies, clothes, structures, etc.

For all my designs I've got a free key, but it's gonna be launching somewhere in the 20 - 30 USD price range. I can't recommend the demo enough, but even just wishlisting it on Steam boosts their metrics and gets them in front of more people!

[lanalosty0uu]

⋆.˚ chapter iv: take on me ᝰ.ᐟ

previously on: 🕰️ BACK TO THE FUTURE 🕰️

"Don't worry," he says with an easy confidence. "We'll figure this out. But first, let's make sure you don't look like you're from outer space."

⋆.˚. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.⊹₊ˎˊ˗

main masterlist | general masterlist

pairing: steve harrington x fem! reader

⋆.˚. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.⊹₊ˎˊ˗ ⋆.˚. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.⊹₊ˎˊ˗ ⋆.˚. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊

The next morning, Steve takes you to Melvald’s General Store, their first stop on your journey to adapt to 1985. The whole vibe of the store amazes you, it was all retro-y, filled with posters and neon lights all over, just like what you’ve always imagined.

“You’re gonna drool over if you kept your mouth open.” You didn’t realize that you’ve been keeping your mouth open in awe at the store.

You can tell Robin and Dustin was looking at you weirdly, knowing that this is just some regular clothing store. But not for you. For you, there is nothing more magical than being in an 80s clothing store, filled with retro and disco like clothes hanging all over.

The jingling of the old-fashioned cash register catches you off-guard, and she marvels at the analog setup. There was even no card scanner! Or a QR code for cashless payment.

Steve raises an eyebrow, clearly amused when you slightly walked over to the cash register. “Welcome to the world of cold, hard cash,” he teases, handing her a few bills for small essentials.

From there, they head to another local thrift store, where Robin joins them, ready to make an event of it. The air is filled with the scent of worn leather and old fabric as Robin rummages through the racks, dramatically holding up an oversized blazer with shoulder pads. “Future girl, this screams power suit,” she jokes, earning a giggle from you.

Even Steve and Dustin helped to find you a nice pair of clothing for you to wear today, and at least a few days to come since they know it won’t be easy to fix that watch.

After much trial and error, some of it clearly for Robin’s amusement, you settle on high-waisted jeans, a striped crop top, and a denim jacket. Steve insists on adding a pair of white sneakers to complete the look.

“You’re officially a Hawkins local,” he declares with a grin as you twirl in front of the mirror, amazed of yourself. Sure, in 2025 people still dress like this. But this… All this felt so different for you. The whole vibe, the people, everything just felt like what you’ve always dreamed of.

˗ˏˋ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹₊ ⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆.˚ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ˎˊ˗

“Okay, so… since you’re from the future, I’m guessing you already know stuff that happened in the 80s, correct?” Dustin asked. We were just chatting on the backseat of Steve’s car, whilst Steve was driving to to the arcade, Robin sitting on the seat next to Steve. Dustin requested to take you to the arcade, wanting to show you the amazing stuff that happens on the 80a.

“Like… what, exactly?”

“Music! You know what I mean?”

“Like… Madonna and shit? Blondie? The Runaways?”

“Yeah, yeah! Like that!” Dustin was amazed when you said all those famous names.

“I’ve listened those on Spotify, kid. So… I’m not that stupid for a person who’s a maniac about the 80s.”

He looked at me confused when you said ‘Spotify’, as if asking for explanation about it without telling you.

“It’s like a music platform, you know? In this.” You showed my phone to him, unlocking it, and opened Spotify. You began searching for my downloaded playlists since you got no internet service here and played Take On Me by a-ha.

“Whoa…” Dustin let out an amused laugh. You even caught Robin’s attention. “I thought you said that’s a phone?”

“Yeah, it is! Except it’s not just for calling, and sending messages. You can listen to songs, watch movies, call people and see them through the phone, read books and magazines online, and many more!”

Your explanation about your phone caught all their attentions, including Steve, while you remind him to keep his eyes on the road.

“You’ve played Pac-Man?!” Dustin exclaimed. You tried to explain to him that you also played it on your phone.

“Oh you’ll never beat Steve. See that? That’s the highest score. And who does that belong to? Steve Harrington.”

“Oh, so the sailor likes to play Pac-Man…” You teased Steve who just entered the arcade after parking his car.

“Well, good luck on trying to beat that, future girl.” Steve challenged you, making you raise your eyebrows.

“Might as well let me try to beat your ass, Harrington.” You pulled up your jacket sleeves and began playing Pac-Man, just like what you always knew. You have to make Pac-Man eat up all the yellow stuff and make sure not to get caught by the ghosts.

On the first try, your Pac-Man was cornered by the ghosts already, and the screen immediately flashes GAME OVER.

Steve smirks. "Not as easy as it looks, huh?"

"Let me try again!" you insist, and to Steve's surprise, she improves quickly.

By your third try, you beats his high score, and the group gathers around, cheering her on.

"Looks like the newbie's got skills," Dustin says, impressed.

“Fun fact, there will be a Pac-Man movie in 2015. It’ll be called ‘Pixels’.” You said, smirking at Steve who seemed to be annoyed.

Steve, pretending to be annoyed, mutters, "Beginner's luck." But there's a glint of pride in his eyes as he watches your grin in triumph.

˗ˏˋ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹₊ ⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆.˚ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ˎˊ˗

As the night falls, the rink lights dim slightly as the disco ball spins, casting a cascade of shimmering lights across the floor. Dustin and Robin let Steve be your guide for tonight in the skating rink, since Steve is such a good skater deep down. Meanwhile, you and Steve sit side by side on the edge of the rink after their dramatic fall, catching their breath between fits of laughter.

The faint buzz of 80s pop hits fills the air, but you are hyper-aware of Steve’s shoulder brushing against hers and the way his smile lingers as he glances her way.

“You okay there, klutz?” he asks, nudging her lightly.

“Oh, I’m the klutz?” you retort, raising an eyebrow. “You’re the one who dragged me into that spin of death.”

Steve chuckles and raises his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, you almost nailed it. I’d give it a solid six out of ten.”

“Wow, generous,” you mutter, rolling your eyes but smiling all the same.

Steve leans back on his elbows, looking out at the rink. “You’re actually not bad, though. For someone who didn’t even know how to skate, you’ve got potential.”

You tilt your head, watching him curiously. “Well that’s encouraging.” You gave him a sarcastic look.

You’re about to press him further when he stands up, brushing imaginary dust off his jeans.

“Come on,” he says, holding out a hand. “We’ve got time for one last lap before they kick us out.” You hesitate, staring at his outstretched hand. Your eyes moved to his, watching those brown eyes carefully. There’s something in his eyes, a warmth, a quiet sincerity that makes her heart skip a beat. Slowly, you place your hand in his, and he pulls you to your feet, steadying you when you wobble.

Both of you step back onto the rink, and this time, you feel a little steadier. Steve skates alongside yourself, pacing slow but steady as the music shifts to a softer, dreamier track. The glow of the disco ball reflects in his eyes, and for a moment, the rest of the rink seems to blur away, it was like you’re the only ones left in that rink.

“You know,” you say quietly, breaking the comfortable silence between them, “I never really had nights like this. Back home, I mean.”

Steve glances at you, intrigued. “What do you mean?”

You shrug, looking down at your purple skates. “I was always so focused on everything… school, responsibilities, the future. I never let myself just… be a teenager. Not to mention the strict parents.” You sighed, looking at his eyes. “It’s not as fun to live in the future like they said.”

He nods, a knowing look crossing his face. “Yeah, I get that. I used to be so caught up in trying to impress people, be the king of Hawkins High or whatever. But looking back? None of that stuff really mattered. This…” He gestures around them, his gaze landing back on you. “this is the kind of stuff that sticks. The moments you don’t plan.”

His words hang in the air, and you feel a pang of something you can’t quite name. Nostalgia for a time you only just started experiencing, maybe, or the bittersweet knowledge that moments like this are fleeting.

“I think you’re right,” you admits, your voice soft.

You skate in silence for a while, the music wrapping around them like a warm blanket. Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper playing vividly. You find yourself stealing glances at Steve, noticing the way his jaw clenches in concentration as he avoids an oncoming skater or the faint curve of his smile when he catches you looking.

At one point, Steve slows to a stop in the middle of the rink and turns to face you. “Alright, future girl. Let’s try one more spin.”

You groan at his request. “You’re relentless.”

“Come on, it’s your redemption arc,” he teases, his grin widening.

With a sigh, you let him take your hands, and attempt another spin. This time, it’s less of a disaster, though you still stumble into him at the end, your hands clutching his jacket for balance.

“See?” he says, his voice low. “Told you you’d get it.”

Your faces are close now, closer than you’ve been all night. You can feel the warmth of his breath, the faint scent of cologne lingering in the air between them. Your heart pound in your chest, but you can’t bring yourself to look away.

“Thanks,” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the music.

“For what?” Steve asks, his expression softening.

“For this. For making me feel like I belong here,” you said.

He smiles, a genuine, almost shy smile that catches you off guard. “You do belong here. More than you think.”

The moment stretches out, the world around them fading into the background. You aren’t sure what’s supposed to come next, but you knows one thing.

For the first time since you arrived in 1985, you don’t feel like a stranger.

note: another chapter, yay! you really can see what i meant by the next chapters will be interesting, yeah? so happy i can finally finish this chapter ^^ hope u guys enjoyed it and stay tuned for the next ones <3

taglist: @xprloki @pupwrites @gorlillaglue25 @lovestrucklyuniverse @keerysfolklore @www-interludeshadow-com @pleasantsoulcolor @mochminnie @steviespookie @damon-loves-pie @imjustdreamingig @starkleila @2602moon @negomi123 @currentresidentinhell @ucannotcompare @lilgreensunshine

if there's anyone who wants to be tag as well, feel free to ask <3

[wallterwall]

day 32

if you like my (cybrthrillz) content, please read this

tw for self harm and suicidal ideation

i want to take a break

this is not a victory or a win for anyone. if anything all of the harassment and relentless targeted hate has only made me even more motivated to make this little space ive created a more accepting place, and i will continue to be a voice of support for "weird and contradictory" queer identities because we all deserve to be happy and accepted

but, for a long time ive been putting myself in harms way, generally neglecting my own needs for the sake of other people, because i dont care about what happens to me as long as other people are happy and safe, and right now i dont think i can keep pushing myself like that anymore. im tired

i havent had a s/h problem since middle school but now those urges are resurfacing again when i thought id never have to deal with that again

i havent been able to relax or enjoy any of my time without having dreadful thoughts in the back of my mind

ill probably be changing things going forward too, or maybe things wont be changing at all. i dont know. i just know that i want to try and relax and watch those movies ive been meaning to watch and play more video games without feeling guilty that im not using my time for drawing.

the controversies have wounded me a lot but unfortunately regretevator is still my main hyperfixation so ill have trouble getting myself to draw anything else and i dont think i want to really avoid it. so ill still be drawing, but ill be drawing for myself without really worrying about posting schedules. ill still be active on discord, tumblr, instagram

im not going to kill myself today, nor am i going to in the future. because whether some people want to believe it or not, i know and my friends know that i always try my best to be a considerate and kind, overall good person. i know that i genuinely have positively impacted many people in life. i hope that ill be able to go back to regularly posting soon with a clearer state of mind because your support has genuinely improved my life both emotionally and financially, and i couldnt be more grateful.

but right now, its okay to be a little selfish for my sake. and i hope that you all can understand and be patient with me. thanks for stickin around

[elderscrollsconceptart]

This will be a long post but I've been thinking about this since last night.

I get a pit in my stomach when I think about the new Fallout TV show and the chance TES may get a show if the Fallout show is super successful.

I've been hearing the show has been pretty good, but ive also heard some grim rumblings and worries about certain directions Bethesda/Amazon are taking lore-wise in the Fallout show. Apparently Todd has said everything in the show is canon.

I've not watched it myself as I'm not a huge TV watcher in general, but I don't know if I want to see Bethesda or an outside studio make massive changes to TES lore which affect both past and future installments in TES purely for the sake of "making good TV".

I am most certainly not a "modern Bethesda" hater or of the opinion that modern TES/Fallout games are bad. I pretty much love them all. (I even enjoyed Starfield, huge glaring flaws and all!)

I genuinely believe they are trying their best to make fun games. I also understand they have had a lot of struggles over the past decade+, particularly in company direction and budgeting of necessary resources (pre-Microsoft acquisition).

The old Zenimax upper management was awful (Trumps brother was literally on the Zenimax board of Directors before he died). And infamously refused budget allocations towards serious game engine improvements that were desperately needed. Bethesda has had alot of struggles but I feel they have always tried to do the best they can, even if the final result is middling.

I am also not a Todd hater. Even if he's not necessarily the best game designer, he has a lot of heart and passion and seems to genuinely care about Bethesda and its employees. I am glad he seems to have a genuinely good relationship with Microsoft and I have high hopes for Bethesda's future in the long term.

All that said, there are just certain changes that can happen when "Hollywood comes knocking" per se., even if most of the main creative decisions still come from Bethesda. TV shows can be fantastic and lauded with praise but if they are based on an established property with established lore, they often ultimately go in creative directions which negates the lore and other non-TV entries in the series.

Just look at GOT. It started off amazingly, and GRR Martin had a direct hand in all the early series. It was the best show on TV until suddenly GRR was no longer involved directly and the show runners started making their own decisions. They started ignoring established lore and making "changes and improvements" which nose dived the series by the end.

Perhaps I am paranoid, but I can see something similar happening to Fallout if the show is big and keeps getting new series. Furthermore, I hold a deep dread that TES may be next. Just think, how many people talk about GOT anymore? How many people are hyped for the next book(s) in the series? The books didn't get bad right? Only the TV show did.

But that's my point. If Fallout or TES have these big smash initial hits on TV but begin to fail after a while, it damages the series as a whole, not just the TV show. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see TES/Fallout TV shows be nothing but great. I just worry as I've been hearing of major major lore changes being made by the Fallout show. These changes are irrevocable and utterly change the lore of that series, and not necessarily for the better. I'll try to refrain from further judgment on that, but I'll leave with this question:

What if TES had a super quality and popular TV show which negated large parts of pre-Oblivion lore? Suddenly, due to the show, innumerable people/places/things which were iconic to the TES series were no longer around or perhaps not even canon anymore? What if those things were just lost or written off for the sake of a TV show?

As a fan of TES, and maybe even of that TV show, how would that make you feel?

I'm am not trying to stir controversy here, but I think we as a fandom need to have more public discussions about this. We also need to be prepared to not dump on any new changes to the series or lore without giving them a fair shake. Something being "new and different" does mean its awful. Changes can be good or bad but they must be carefully considered.

I hope this new Fallout show's premiere will provide us a good chance to consider the future of TES media and lore outside the games before any changes are announced or made.

[destinysbounty]

This feels like a no-brainer, but since the very beginning Ninjago's biggest strength in terms of writing is its ability to craft memorable and compelling characters. This was part of the reason why I and a lot of other people were a bit wary about Dragons Rising before its release - people, myself included, were questioning if it could ever really feel like Ninjago if it decided to switch focus to a new cast. If they could conceivably introduce a new generation of ninja that would ever be able to match up to the old cast in terms of likeability and engagement. The core of Ninjago has always been the found family, after all - how could any sequel ever hope to compare to the original if it didnt focus on the og found family in question?

Well to my delight, we seem to all have been worried over nothing. Sure, the old cast does still carry the story in a lot of ways - looking at you, Lloyd - but i feel like the story can stand up well enough without them. Arin, Sora, and Wyldfyre are all strong characters in their own right, and if the ninja all permanently left the series at one point in the future i feel confident that plenty of people would still stick around to watch the new team's adventures (though ill be honest, the new team just doesnt feel complete without Lloyd as their dad mentor).

And yknow, its nice to see Ninjago regain its footing again, especially after Wildbrain. By no means am i trying to throw shade at Wildbrain, i love Wildbrain and it holds a special place in my heart, but i also wont hesitate to admit that its character writing kinda started to falter a bit. So to see Ninjago get back into the swing of writing strong, engaging, and lovable new characters again, while also giving the old characters a fresh coat of paint and some much-needed character development...its nice.

This seems to reflect itself in the way people talk about DR, too. Ive seen plenty of criticism thrown its way, but one of the aspects that ive seen the least amount of criticism for is probably the character writing. People will comment on plotholes and animation issues, but ive encountered much fewer people with something negative to say about the characters. Which, in my opinion, is exactly how a Ninjago series should be.

So yeah id say DR is pretty good

[hollybrookee]

Excerpt from Steve vs the World with cool enderman anatomy

[one of my fav scenes to write hehe]

“I'm leaving now. Have fun with the rest of this exam Nightingale. Fair warning, this one throws punches,” Steve snipped with a bitter expression.

Nightingale lifted his intense gaze from his patient`s wounds and his face morphed into something akin of ill masked panic. Steve turned on his heel towards the exit but came to face with a woman knocking at the slightly opened door. He startled at the intrusion.

A drowned nurse with a neat braid and powder blue scrubs presented a sheet of paper to the phantom with a green hand. “Doctor Nightingale, the blood panel came back for this patient.”

The doctor promptly stood and crossed the room. “Steve, stay,” he ordered as he passed the indignant human frozen from almost bumping into a member of the hospital staff.

“Nightingale, are you serious?” Steve murmured to him in frustration.

He placed a hand on Steve`s shoulder and leaned into his ear. “I have an idea but I need you to stay put,” he whispered.

Atticus blinked rapidly. He seemed to be recovering from the shock.

“You took my blood?” Atticus incriminated after recovering from the revelation that he had yet again been violated in the eyes of medicine and the law. He struggled to sit up again with a scowl. He didn’t get very far.

The night doctor accepted the document and scanned the report. “Not the only samples I took. Been checking your blood oxygen content regularly and we took radiographs shortly after you arrived, found a cracked rib, nothing too severe so don’t you worry about that, and then signs of acute pneumonia which is pretty common in endermen experiencing humid climates or rain for the first time. It's nothing we can’t treat. I’ve already started you on oxygen, which you are going back on, by the way.” The doctor pointed at the respiration machine and its face mask. He continued to study the pages.

Atticus seemed…overwhelmed, but Nightingale didn't let this cease his medical jargon rambling.

“We've started you on an antibiotic via IV so your lungs should be free and clear of fluid soon. The antibiotic is called azithromycin and we have you on a pretty hefty dose so don't be alarmed if you start to experience nausea, G.I. upset, loss of appetite, headaches, or dizziness. These are all normal side effects, but just let me know if they happen. This med can be pretty heavy on the body but it's better than going septic so we're gonna cut our losses, yeah?” the doctor rambled at the downed soldier trapped in the confines of his temporary bed.

Atticus looked horrified at the unknown treatments. “What’s a radiograph?”

Nightingale ceased his scrutinizing of the results to address the room once more. He nodded and began to take a more gentle approach to his explanation.

“Right, new to the overworld, I always forget our improvements in modern medicine are a bit more, shall we say advanced? Then the End or Nether. In short, our redstone engineers and leading researchers, I was on the team actually, created an ‘X-Ray’ machine that generates electromagnetic radiation and channels it through the body to create an image. Essentially, it helps us see what’s inside of you without having to cut you open to find out. Just the wonders of devoting research into its practical applications as opposed to a war effort I suppose. And very helpful for your diagnosis might I add,” the doctor spoke animatedly with his hands. He returned his gaze back to the paper to further interpret the findings.

“And you did that to me?” Atticus’ eyes were wide with distress and his mouth hung open. The enderman was panting. He was hyperventilating. Steve recoiled at the pitiful sight. He kinda felt for the guy. Probably because once upon a time he was in the same boat, a terrified patient of Dr. Nightingale’s in an unfamiliar city with an uncertain future.

“Oh relax,” Nightingale dismissed his anxieties with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

He flipped through the pages and scanned the data. He hummed at random intervals. Nightingale clicked his tongue as he traced a finger down the paper to follow each of the levels printed on the page. His finger paused at a number and the clicking ceased. He looked solemn.

“Low CBC,” Nightingale enunciated. He tapped the page with the pen several times. He was stalling.

The doctor looked up at the enderman, making eye contact with the respirator next to his head instead of his eyes. “I had a hunch.”

“And?” Atticus pressed through his unsteady breaths.

“I was debriefed by the proper authorities when you were taken into custody and I was informed I would be treating you,” the doctor began apprehensively, “each account said that one of the enderman, I’m referring to you, by the way, didn’t teleport out of harm's way. Your results indicate cytopenia, low CBC if you will.” Nightingale chose his next words with utmost care.

“An Enderman’s cardiovascular system, unlike other species, contains an extra organ. Their ender pearl is connected to their heart by an extra vein stemming from their superior vena cava.” The doctor pointed a finger at his own chest in a demonstration. “The pearl is responsible for much of the enderman’s hematopoiesis instead of relying on bone marrow. It’s also responsible for an enderman’s ability to teleport via a blood process where the blood cells go through a semipermeable membrane to the outside of their skin, then evaporate, except this happens at light speed. Similar to osmosis in other species with water but in enderman we get something similar with their blood, and this is the fun part, this quick process of moving blood cells from one place to another triggers a quantum reaction.”

Nightingale snapped his fingers. He was getting more excited with each sentence. It was candid that Nightingale was passionate about his work. He loved spilling science lessons into a room and always has. The phantom continued his ramble, “hence, the ability to teleport. With your pearl being damaged, your body is being deprived of blood cells and your cardiovascular system can’t function without that pearl being in tip-top shape. This explains why you’ve been experiencing fatigue, headaches, lightheadedness… But it also explained why you didn’t teleport. You couldn’t.”

Doctor Nightingale pushed his glasses up with his pointer finger then tapped the ballpoint pen onto the stack of papers again. “Science,” he added proudly.

[swordsandholly]

that Johnny rugby player au is fineee, omg! but also like do you think of writing something with Kyle someday? like I love him so much and I always adore the way that you specifically write him and I don’t see a lot of fics with him, sadly

but yeah like just a thought please I don’t want this ask to come off as like me trying to like demand it, i’m just curious hehe like I said before I love what you write is always amazing!! 💖💋

Ive been so hyper focused on poly 141 that I don’t have a ton of individual fics rn. I do have one that I started months ago that’s kind of angsty where Kyle loses a leg and has to go to prosthesis/physical therapist reader but I worry it’s too sad for our pretty boy

Some other ideas I have in my not started works note:

Bartender Kyle x Server Reader

News reporter x cameraman- just thinking about Kyle being a flirty cameraman and telling reader how pretty she is while she pretends to be annoyed

SoapGaz - Ex bf Kyle is pissed about reader dating Johnny. Poly shit ensues

Not Kyle specific just a general idea: Reader is walking in a park and thinks a man is following her. She’s jumpy and smacks him with her overfilled purse - has to take him to the hospital

I love this boy sm so yeah there will def be more Kyle in the future. Plus he’s pretty central in cherry bomb tbh

[kibblemaniac]

april thoughts

just a general "how ive been doing" mostly with my art sense my art is my life

.. i say art is my life, but i havent drawn at all in the past few days lolol. i havent been doing too great this year.

well, im a bit unhappy with the lack of responses the follower survey got, but i guess it makes sense. i promised it would be out in december and i didnt finish it until this month. people probably forgot about it like i did. idk how to lock the survey so if you read this and go look for the link you can still do it, but i probably wont be checking it often. i did get some good info like where most of my followers come from, how i should price my comms, etc etc. if i remember to ill make another one next year with more questions. a lot of people who took the survey said they wanted a discord server. id like to connect with you all but to be honest im a bit hesitant to make something like that because im not very active on discord and am very lazy.

i guess the reason why i havent drawn a lot this year, specifically illustrations, is cuz im lacking a lot of inspo. i just havent been too happy with my art and not really sure why. i figured if i had more inspo id be drawing more, but ive always had trouble paying attention to stuff like movies or shows or stuff like that. and i specify taking inspo from media like that bc i dont want to take too much inspo from other online artists. i think if you take too much inspo from your peers you end up just creating the same stuff over n over, you need a wide range of inspo to create something new. though, that lack of inspiration definitely isnt helped by my pinterest account getting deactivated for no reason! social media addiction is real, ive been having serious pinterest withdrawals lolol. but yeah i have a long list of things i want to read and stuff i want to watch that i havent even scrapped the surface of. will be a long long time b4 i finish that list, and by the time im done ill probably have another list of stuff ready to go.

on the topic of media, the last films i watched were colin armistead's "angelic kitty miracle-chan" and "enternet". armistead's filmwork reminds me of the phrase "art disturbs the comforted and comforts the disturbed". ive seen a lot of backlash for both his kitty film, as well as his previous film "bonehead". i do not agree with people who think mircale-chan is supposed to be "transphobic" or "mean spirited". i found myself in the main character of alex, as someone who enjoys anime and self isolates and is trans, and by the comments on the youtube upload a lot of other people did too. my only critique is that it just didnt live up to my expectations, that just not a lot happened in it. but its a 7 minute student film, so its a bit limited in what it can do anyways. i think if it had a longer run time and went more into depth about alex's life, it would have been much more compelling.

back to art, ive been thinking about it and i think i know why i wasnt able to finish raw!fruit or butterfly in flower garden. i have this tendency to overestimate what i can do, come up with a lot of cool ideas, but am not really great at executing those ideas. i take a while to draw, even doodles can take me like, at least a day or two, so when it comes to larger projects a lot of the time it takes so long i end up noticing flaws in my own work and those flaws make me feel too depressed to finish the damn thing. i think for my first venture into comic work, i should downsize into a oneshot. maybe even practice drawing single page comics before i work on something that requires multiple pages. and it should also be something pretty simple in concept. bifg was supposed to be simple, but i kept thinking of ideas and writing and stuff like that, that it became its own beast. hopefully one day.

on a more personal note, im a bit worried about my future. i made it a new years resolution to get a job this year, and i still havent gotten one 4 months in. i sorta lost interest.. ill try to get one for the summer cuz thats coming up soon, though to be honest idk if ill be able to survive it. i struggle a lot with loud/painful noises, bright lights, social interaction, etc etc... but ill try my best. i might try to do comms if i just cant do it. im graduating high school and turning 18 this year, 2 events im not really looking forward to. part of my brain stills think im a middle schooler, so being reminded that im not is like, idk shocking??? just dont really have much of a plan, not much hope, but ill live anyways.

uhh other stuff thats too small to have their own paragraphs uhhh. i started a new flightrising account, its toasterhair if you want to send a friend request. uhh ive been trying to exercise more, nothing too big just a little bit of cardio to keep my heart beating. i was somewhat more sociable at my last cooking class than i usually am, so yay me thats one of my goals to be more social. and uhh my grandma is gonna teach me how to sew soon hopefully and were gonna fix up this one sweater of mine that has a bunch of holes. thats really all i can think of, hope youre all doing well !

[tonberry-yoda]

Can you make a fugo alphabet fluff? I love your works, I hope you have a great month <3 (Sorry for my poor choice of praise and english)

Fugo Fluff Alphabet

notes - first of all, thank you so much anon!! your english was great, so don't even worry!!! thanks for the request and for the lovely compliment! ive had so much fun with these fluff alphabets and wanna do them for every character LMFAO thanks again anon and have a wonderful week!! <3

based on this post

A CTIVITIES - WHAT DO THEY LIKE TO DO WITH THEIR S/O? HOW DO THEY SPEND THEIR FREE TIME WITH THEM?

He likes to have chill times with you. Nothing is more relaxing than sitting in the living room with you and just reading a book or something. He also loves getting dinner, but prefers taking it home and eating it in the backyard like a picnic.

B EAUTY - WHAT DO THEY ADMIRE ABOUT THEIR S/O? WHAT DO THEY THINK IS BEAUTIFUL ABOUT THEM?

Your intelligence. He is a super smart guy and it doesnt matter how smart you are, he will always admire your brain and how you think. Also, physically, probably your legs lol, idk i just see it

C OMFORT - HOW WOULD THEY HELP THEIR S/O WHEN THEY FEEL DOWN/HAVE A PANIC ATTACK ETC.?

This man has a lot of experience with his own panic attacks, so he would have to know how you need help first before he would be able to help at all. Before any of this, he would sit down and talk to you about how to help you in a tough situation. After that he would help in any way he can and also speak to you very lightly and kindly

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Somewhere comfortable where the two of you aren't stressed out. I feel like the one thing that is absolutely killing him is stress and knowing that you deal with stress too. He needs to know that you're doing okay and would love that to be the future between the two of you <3

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

You have to order his happy meal for him. I think we know the answer to this one. He may be a strong dude, but like, he's definitely the lil baby in the relationship

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

This man, as we know, has some anger issues. Because of this, when he gets pissed at you, he stays pissed at you for a while tbh. Like he isn't just angry at you but at himself and he feels like he can't recover from the argument. He just feels like an asshole who hurt an angels feelings. I think you would have to initiate the forgiveness if you aren't too upset. During the argument he would probably get way too pissed off and start shouting and then he realizes he fucked up and avoids you. Let him know that everything is fine and he will be better <3

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He is very grateful that you are here with him. You have helped him through a lot and to return that, he helps you through a lot. You have helped him realize new stuff in himself and even help him get over bridges he didn't even think he could cross. You are everything to him and he is so thankful for that <33333

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

If you don't know about him being/having been in the mafia, he would hide that from you. I don't think he wants you to know about the dangerous stuff he's seen. He also keeps his past a secret from you. Honestly, he keeps a lot from you, which you slowly pull out from him

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Oh, absolutely. You made him less angry and pent up. He had a lot of internal problems that affected him externally and you were able to help him through a lot of that

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

YES YES YES! Like I just feel like he'll get really self conscious when he sees you laughing or smiling with someone else. It's hard for him to be super confident, so seeing you around someone he thinks is better looking than him or something can really make him upset. To deal with it, he ignores it as best as possible and gets angy

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Oh hell yeah. I think at first, like the first kiss that you had after a nice dinner, he didn't know what to do. You kissed him and he didn't really know that there was a rule where he had to kiss back, so he was still as a statue. But after he got the hand of it, he is an AMAZING kisser. Very soft lips 10/10

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I think the two of you were reading or something at the library and he passed you a note that said: I like you. We should hang out. Shortly after, the two of you started dating

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

tbh, I really don't know. I think the idea appeals to him, but at the same time, he really enjoys where you guys are. He would have to think about it a lot down the road. But if he were to propose, it would be in private and I think he would prefer to get eloped.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Simple stuff like honey or darling or dear, but all in Italian

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He smiles a lot more. Like especially around you. He just has a constant little smile on his lips and it's really cute. It's kind of obvious to others, especially close friends since he acts relatively different, which isn't a normal Fugo thing, so they totally make fun of him. To express his feelings, he always tells you how much he loves you and it really means a lot

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

PDA is a big no for him I think. He prefers kisses and stuff privately. The most he'll do is kiss you in a park or something, but never in public. Like holding hands is a sometimes thing, but yeah he really doesn't like showing off his relationship in public

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

Lots of care and understanding. He will give you space when you need it and always provide what you need when you need it

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

I don't really think he's romantic or creative in any of these aspects. I feel like he just treats the relationship as it is. Sure, he'll take you on dates, but it's never anything crazy. It's more calm than anything

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He is always there to help. He will drop anything to help you out. He is your biggest supporter because dreams to him are very important. So know that he's always got your back

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He is definitely more routine. He needs to have his day go the way he plans because it makes his life easier. It's nice though because you have become a part of his routine <3

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He is VERY understanding. He knows you very well, so he knows when something is up or when you need space or even when you need him by your side. He is more than caring and you don't even need to ask him for things, he'll just be there

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

You definitely mean a lot to him, but sometimes, he will put the others like Bruno in front of you. They have gotten him out of the worst of stuff, so he definitely holds them on a pedestal, but if you understand, that makes him very happy

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He always smells really good so when you hug him, he gives off this lovely sweet smell that you can't get enough of. It's like strawberry shortcake and vanilla

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Not really. He prefers getting that kind of love from you, he won't really start any cuddles or anything

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

You are a big part of his routine, so when you're gone, he has to reorganize EVERYTHING and that pisses him off so much. It takes him a while to get back on track without eyebags, but eventually things for him will get back to normal until you come back.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He's not a huge risk taker, so no. If you don't want the relationship anymore, he will understand and that's that. He will fight for you and protect you at all costs for sure, but if you really feel like things are over, it will end

~~~~~

jjba masterlist (2) (3) | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated <3

~~~~~

[qoldenskies]

Omg I just read the entirety of the canary continuity and I love it so much! I was crying so hard by the time I was done with it!

Also, I feel so bad for all the brothers, especially Leo, Raph and Mikey. Not only is their brother hurt, physically and mentally, but they can't even do anything cause it was (unintentionally) their fault. Their relationship has broken, and they can't even fix it, because not only would Donnie think that they are lying about being nice again when they try to help, he can't even see them before having a panic attack, thinking that they are going to hurt him (or worse, kill him).

I can't wait to see what would happen in the future chapters!

hi!!! im so glad you enjoyed!! >:D

honestly ive been rolling around the particular angst with the other three in my head, and i've been excited to dive deeper into them and how they're handling it but i need to get through a particular part of the story before i can properly switch to their povs, but you better bet it'll be happening!!!

its the pain of not being able to show him the kindness and gentleness he deserves after everything that happens to him. despite his fear and initial trepidation, he practically folds into april and splinter when they reach for him, and he panics when he sees them leave, and he uses them as a lifeline when he's scared. already twice now they've talked him down from a spiral of panic and comforted him (although theyve been unable to do it when the others are around, so they always have to make them leave. even when they dont want to!) and it's somewhat established that it's not even normally how donnie responds to trauma. he usually needs a while to sit and process before he can come for comfort, and trying to push him does not work at All, but now more than anything all that he wants and needs is the affection they CANT GIVE HIM because he's utterly terrified of them, even though its ultimately the most important thing for him right now. more than anything donnie wants his brothers to keep him safe, but he thinks they're gone, and he doesn't know when the curse started, or what part of it was how they truly feel and what part of it was the curse speaking; and even if he did, they are a trigger to him and there's nothing he can do about it.

and for raph and mikey in particular, who are so tactile and affectionate (and are just as comforted by affection as the person theyre trying to comfort in most cases) its fucking devastating. with leo with his hidden low self esteem its still awful for him, but he knows what this feels like, he's only acting so different because he can't fall back on his old coping mechanisms; because they're the thing that HURT donnie, because the curse weaponized them, so he's turning to anger (in ME he is intentionally trying to start fights because he wants to be yelled at LOL) and trying to stay productive instead. but raph and mikey generally have always had the impression of themselves that they're Good People (mikey is very confident and he hasn't really been disillusioned at all yet, and raph is someone i see to be very secure in the idea that he's a good person, which can sometimes make taking responsibility/handling guilt difficult for him. although he matures substantially around the time of the movie) so its just. shattering.

mikey never saw himself CAPABLE of doing something this horrible (he's just a kid! sometimes he struggles to see past himself!) and with raph it was a confirmation of his worst insecurity; to some extent he has always seen donnie and mikey as so much more fragile than him (he does canonically understand that donnie is very sensitive/takes rejection super seriously, and he worries about hurting his feelings. ty donnie's gifts for the brains and brawn fuel i use you so liberally), and especially when he was younger he grappled with this fear of hurting them badly on accident (and he probably had in play before), and even with the self-restraint he displayed under the curse, he still caused all this CARNAGE... and there's nothing he can do about it. donnie can't even hear his voice right now without screaming. they both need to comfort in order to feel comforted and that's been ripped away from them, and they're doing so fucking awful. cannot wait to write their povs honestly i have a lot of ideas >:)

[fabledferns]

I would love to try printing my own design on a shirt like you did! Could you please possibly make a guide on how you did it?

absolutely i can!! this is gonna get a bit long so im gonna put the full tutorial under a read more LOL

ALSO disclaimer: i’m making this tutorial with the assumption that whoever is reading it already kinda knows the basics of relief printing! BUT if anyone would like me to post a more basic tutorial about that, i would be happy to <3

1. the block!! i used the Inovart Eco Karve Printing Plates (very similar to the Speedball Speedy Carve Blocks, just a bit cheaper). but you can use linoleum, wood, etc. this was my first time ever printing on fabric and since it turned out so well i’ll probably stick to using this type of block in the future LOL but linoleum and wood do work! it mostly depends on personal preference and budget

2. i highly recommend doing a test print! both to prime the block a bit and to see if there’s any spots you missed (you can see a lot of chatter on the first test print that i got rid of)

3. the ink! i used the Speedball Fabric and Paper ink. it’s the only one i’ve tried for fabric, but i do recommend the speedball brand in general! whatever ink you use, make sure it’s for block printing, for fabric, and read the instructions

when getting your ink, i found that i ended up needing a bit more ink than i do printing on paper

you can either ink your print now or on step 5 if you’re worried about it drying out

4. prepare your shirt! try to get a shirt with the least amount of texture possible for the best results (not knitted, ribbed, etc). get yourself some cardboard to put in the shirt while you print, it’s supposed to be mainly to keep ink from bleeding but i feel like it also gives a better surface to print on

5. layersssss! shirt down first, flatten out where you want to print. then the block, and if you’re using a press, then the felt thing (it probably has a name)

usually printing on paper the block is laid down and the paper on top of it, fabric is the opposite!

6. printing! so for this i am obviously using a press (the Woodzilla Hand Press, highly recommend if you’re really getting into printmaking and have the money!!) if you’re using the press, after putting the top down, tuck the shirt under the lever. otherwise it’ll make marks in the shirt when you press down that will probably go away, but better safe than sorry

if you don’t have a press, no worries!! it just takes a bit more time and patience. use an old rolling pin or put a giant book on top and press! the bigger the print, the harder it is to print consistently. do your best to add enough pressure and make it even. even with the press, i usually put all my body weight into it

whatever method you’re using, use ALL YOUR MIGHT to print it!!!! too much pressure is better than not enough imo

7. TADA!! a (hopefully) perfect print!! if it’s not, don’t panic! i can’t attest for other brands, but ive been able to clean the ink out of misprinted shirts and print on them again. i washed them out in the sink to get as much ink out as possible (i used cold water, but to be so honest i have no idea if hot or cold water would work better). then use some sort of stain remover and just fucking. douse it. i used a Shout! spray for this. let it sit for however long the instructions say, wash it, and it should come out! it even worked for a light pink shirt for me, i can’t say for sure if it would work with white though

and that’s my guide!! hopefully i explained everything alright and people find it helpful <3 i’m happy to answer any other questions anyone might have! i am also pretty new to this though, so there is definitely some stuff i don’t know lol

[spectrechosts]

My Bloody Valentine

I want to be done reuploading and all I have left is shorter stories I haven't touched in forever which means shit is getting CONDENSED into single posts so I can have all this done by Halloween.

This one is about a warlock on an elven spaceship and the human who's newly hired to work with her. Five chapters in this post.

"For future reference, when you're hiring a human weapons tech, generally they know how to maintain particle beams, autocannons, things like that. Not… whatever this is."

"I'll keep it in mind, rook. Now touch up those containment sigils before we all fry."

The weapons bay on the Ivy Cudgel was a single small room. Refrigerators filled with bags of blood lined one wall, and five IV poles to place them on were arranged in the center of the room. The "weapons system" was a single elf, currently sitting within a summoning circle and gibbering to herself almost imperceptibly as the IVs dribbled blood onto her face.

The rookie had been introduced to her when she got the job ("Hello," She had said, not making eye contact. "I will be in your care, I look forward to working together."), and had seen her around the ship since. She was a quiet, fragile thing, even for an elf. She didn't speak unless spoken to, she was never in any of the communal areas if she could avoid it, the rookie only knew that she ate on account of her boss grumbling about making sure she did before going to the mess hall. Her uniform was unique among the crew, ceremonial black robes and various eerie trinkets. The rookie didn't know where exactly "warlock" fit into the command structure, but everyone on the ship treated her with respect, so she did too.

Even if she had to be the one to pour blood on her head so that she could channel a demon to rend enemy ships asunder.

The ship shuddered, sending IV poles clattering to the floor.

"Shit!" Her boss cursed, "Fix those, now!"

"Weapons officer, status." Came a voice from her boss' comms badge.

"Not ideal if impacts are going to keep knocking our shit over, captain."

"Shields are on their last legs, we need to end this quickly. Full power."

"Yes captain." She said, and clicked off her comm badge. "Okay rook, what you're about to see never leaves this room, got it?"

"…Yes?" She said, unsure of what could possibly be more taboo than what they were already doing.

"Good." Her commanding officer said, and then swiftly drew a dagger from her belt and drove it into her own palm.

"What the FUCK-" She screamed, and her boss waved her off with what was now her good hand, the other pressed to her mouth. Blood gushed from the wound, staining her face. She strode into the summoning circle and the demon snapped to face her, pupilless eyes trained on the source of fresh blood.

Before the beast could pounce, the officer removed her hand from her face and pulled her into a kiss, blood pooled in her mouth flowing between their lips. The containment sigils smoked and hissed and the rookie scrambled to repaint them all fast enough to prevent a breach.

She could worry about what the fuck she was watching later.

Her boss was now kissing the warlock's neck while she lapped at her bloody hand like an animal, and it wasn't hot, and she was focused on the circle and not blushing.

"We're in the clear, shut her down officer."

Her boss whispered something unpronounceable in the warlock's ear, and she shuddered and went limp as the demon left her. She held her tightly, kissed her forehead reassuringly.

"Pass me the bandages, rookie."

She did as she was told, and her boss started wrapping her hand. She had so many questions.

"Is… Is that part of my job?"

"No."

don't say it don't say it don't say it

"Can it be?"

Her boss chuckled. "Ask her when she's feeling better, rookie."

~~~

She has the same dream every night.

The ship is empty, but she isn't alone. She can feel it.

She wanders the corridors for an eternity. There is nothing to find. There is never anything to find.

She is alone, and something is with her, and nothing has ever been on the ship.

She tries to call upon her demon, but it isn't part of her anymore.

She wishes her demon was still here. She is terrified that her demon is still here.

She opens her eyes to a knock at her door, and the dream fades from her memory. She can feel the demon tugging at the edges of her mind again. She ignores it.

"Open door." She says, and the door opens, and the human pokes her head in sheepishly.

"Heyyy, um, boss wanted me to make sure you eat?" The human says, unsure of herself. "I brought you the blue nutrient paste, she said you like that one?"

"I don't like food." She says in response, but she pokes the straw into the pack and drinks it slowly. It tastes like ash in her mouth.

"Yeah, she uh, she said that's why I have to watch and make sure you eat. If that's okay."

The human is new to this, she thinks this is a quirk of hers and not something that happens to all conduits.

"It's fine. It's procedure."

She takes another sip. She is starving. This will not sate her.

"Why's that?"

The human is, if she's being honest, probably not qualified for her position. A weapons tech should know these things.

"Becoming soulbound to a demon results in complete loss of mortal appetite within 18 months in almost 100% of cases. To prevent physical degradation, conduits must be forced to eat regularly."

"…Mortal appetite?"

Another slow sip.

"We crave blood."

"Oh. So that's, that's an all the time thing?"

"Yes." She says, nodding solemnly.

"…Do you want some?"

"Always."

The human takes out a pen knife and cuts her fingertip, offers it to her.

She takes it into her mouth. The trickle of blood is ambrosia to her twisted senses. Her demon digs it's claws into her, eager for more.

She releases the human's finger and replaces it with her straw. The last dregs of nutrient paste make her want to puke.

"Thank you. I'd like to get more sleep now."

"Yeah, sure. I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

The door closes and she climbs back into her bed. A fortress of blankets and plush toys quiets her mind enough to drift back into the dream.

The human's taste lingers on her tongue.

She is alone, and she is never alone.

~~~

The human keeps coming back on meal duty, eager to talk.

"So this is uh, the second ship I've been stationed on, and the other one was a human ship so this is all pretty different."

"Mm."

She sips her nutrient paste under the human's watchful eye. This is likely not the kind of work she signed up for.

"How many ships have you been on?"

The human makes a habit of asking things that she shouldn't. She could very easily tell the captain that the human is unfit for duty, with how little she seems to understand of her work.

"I am the Ivy Cudgel's weapon."

"So you never worked on any other ships while you were training?" The human asks, not understanding.

She slurps the last of the disgusting paste through her straw.

"Blood."

"Oh, sure."

The human cuts her finger once again, allowing her to drink from the wound. The crimson fluid washes the awful taste from her mouth, and she feels a little less tired.

"I have spent my entire life aboard the Ivy Cudgel." She elaborates, in exchange.

"What? Why?"

"Conduction is a multi-layered process. The demon is bound to the ship, the demon is bound to me, ergo I am bound to the ship."

"Okay, uh, why?"

"If the demon were bound solely to me, I couldn't exert it's influence beyond what I'm aware of. If the demon were bound solely to the ship, it would be… haunted, for lack of a better term."

"So like, what do you get out of it?"

She definitely shouldn't ask that.

"It is a great honor to be born into the service of the fleet." She says. And then, when the human looks unconvinced, she gestures around her room and adds: "I am well compensated. I want for nothing."

"You don't want to like. Leave?"

"Ohhhh no. No. No no no."

She shakes her head.

"I have a drone that I can fly around when we're docked and even that is… overstimulating. I can leave, there are ritual procedures that facilitate it, I just don't want to."

The human still looks unconvinced.

"You've never even wanted to go out like, on a date?"

Why does the human ask her such strange things?

"Why would I go out on a date?"

"…Like if there's someplace romantic, you and the boss-"

"Me and the boss?" She repeats, flabbergasted.

"Y-Yeah? Because- You, you kissed that one time?"

"I've never kissed anyone???"

Her demon loves this, because it knows she hates it.

"You, you did though, you and-"

"The demon did that! I don't want to kiss my boss!"

"O-Okay, I didn't mean-"

"Get out!" She screeches, and the human scrambles away.

Her face feels hot as the doors slide shut.

The human thinks- Ugh!

Why was she talking to her so much then, if not-

She slumps back into bed and squeezes a stuffed elk.

Stupid human.

~~~

Piloting her drone around the spaceport market, the warlock finds herself sending a request for assistance to the human against her better judgment. It doesn't take long for her to arrive.

"What's wrong?" She asks, eager to please.

She's been cold to the human, these past few feedings. It's making her act strange, desperate to rebuild their relationship.

"Carry this." She says, and her droid's mechanical arm points at a large plushie of a creature native to the planet, something between a walrus and a bear.

"Oh." The human says, grabbing it. "Is that all?"

"Yes. I would carry it myself but I don't want it to drag on the ground."

She pilots the drone to the checkout and transfers payment, then hovers away, human and plushie in tow.

"So, uh, about the other day-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

It is… unfair, of her, to remain mad at the human. She didn't understand the distinction between her and the demon, it was not a moral failing or an intentional slight.

She floats into another store, peruses their selection of games.

"Right, uh, we don't have to talk about it. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I uh, I misunderstood."

"You did."

"Yeah. And uh, I made things weird. And I would like things to not be weird."

The warlock would… also like things to not be weird, really. The human is on meal duty regardless of either of their feelings on the matter, any weirdness is going to be constantly out in the open.

"Speak no more of it then." She says, plucking a holodisc from the display and stashing it into a small compartment on the drone as she transfers credits to the clerk. "Accompany me as I return to the ship."

The drone can return autonomously, but the human is… peculiar. She shouldn't be here, she doesn't know what she's meant to be doing, and that makes her beguiling. The ship is her domain, she knows every inch of it's corridors, every scratch on it's hull as if it were her own skin. The crew behaves predictably, orderly, disciplined, except for the human.

She wants to understand her.

"Tell me, how did you come to work on the Ivy Cudgel?"

"Oh, uh, exchange program as part of the alliance. Humans go work on elf vessels, elves go work on human vessels, we all get a little more used to having aliens around."

"I'm aware, I meant you specifically."

"I dunno, seemed interesting I guess? See a new culture, or whatever."

"And do you find it interesting?"

"Sure. I mean, it's not super different, aside from all the magic stuff."

"You don't have magic on earth?"

"We have the concept, but like, we didn't think it was real."

"How did you become slipspace capable without magic?"

"I dunno, it's not my field. Some physics thing."

"How strange." The elf said, thinking. "No magic at all?"

"None. I mean they're probably working on it now, now that we know, but-"

A harsh gust of wind cuts her off, blowing out the drone's microphone and sending it spinning. Her viewport sweeps over the open sky, the massive skyport, the endless miles of city below.

She suddenly feels very ill.

"I-I-" She stammers, struggling to breathe. She wrenches the control helmet from her head and looks around her room, her four walls, safe and known and hers. "I'm setting the droid to autopilot. I have to lie down." She says, flicking a switch and leaving her desk before the human can answer.

She slumps into bed and covers her head with a pillow. She is inside. She knows the ship. She is the ship. Her demon creeps out of the back of her mind, sensing her agitation. It makes her feel strong when she is weak, brave when she is afraid. It is her only-

Her door slides open.

"Are you okay!?" Comes a voice, along with rapid footsteps. The human is in her room, panting from exertion after running all the way here. She places the walrus-bear into her bed and touches her shoulder gently.

The human is new. The human is an unknown factor. The human is in her room.

"Leave!" She hisses. She doesn't like change. The human is in her room.

"Okay, of course-" The human says, and she scurries away.

"W-Wait."

Her footsteps pause.

The human is trying. The human is in her room. The human doesn't know any better. The human is leaving her room because she asked, because she didn't know.

"Th-Thank you. for trying to help." She says. "But leave."

"Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow." The human says.

And then she is gone.

The elf clutches her new plushie and cries until they leave port, until she is safe in the void again.

~~~

Someone knocks on the warlock's door, and she opens it and finds that it is not the human, but her medical officer.

"Evaluation day?" She asks, her mood sinking.

"Evaluation day." The doctor confirms. "May I come in?"

"Of course."

The warlock sits on her bed, grabbing a large stuffed shark from among her things and clutching it close to her chest, resting her chin on its snout.

"Relax, sweetie." The doctor says, trying to reassure her. "We do this every four months, you know it's not a big deal."

It is a big deal, because this is the part where the doctor asks her questions and most of them are easy but some of them are hard and the doctor always just nods blankly at whatever she says and writes it down, never telling her if she's behaving normally or if she's going to be decommissioned for suspected possession risk.

"We'll start with the systems checks, okay? There's an asteroid field to our starboard side, tell me how many objects are within your range."

She closes her eyes, and lets the line between her and the ship and the demon blur.

"Twenty-three." She says.

"Mhm. Destroy the object at 290 -051 368, please."

The ship pinpoints the relative coordinates, she gives the go ahead, and her demon crushes the asteroid like it's a glass bauble.

Blood trickles from her nose and drips onto the shark.

"Destruction confirmed, thank you. You may return to your body."

The medical officer offers her a tissue to wipe away the blood.

"Now, I have just a few questions for you about the past few months." She says, and the warlock squeezes the shark tighter because this is the awful part. "Have you been eating?"

"Yes."

"Exercising?"

"I… take walks." The warlock says.

"How often, and what distance?" The doctor asks, writing on her terrible notepad.

"A few times a week, and I don't know. I just wander."

"Wander where?"

The warlock wishes she had a good answer. There's nothing wrong with just walking around aimlessly, but everything she does needs to be scrutinized because there's a demon in her head. It's oppressive.

"C Deck, mostly. I just walk around the halls until I want to stop."

"Okay." The doctor says, and she writes in silence for a long moment. "There was a recent staffing change, per our alliance with the humans. An engineer, Faye Hoffman, has been assigned to you, correct?"

It occurs to the warlock that she has never asked the human her name.

She doesn't have a name, but she should still try to learn other people's. She'll apologize for being rude, next time she sees her.

"Correct."

"Has she made any attempts to interfere with your work in any way?" The doctor asks, clinical.

"No?"

"Is that a question?" She asks pointedly, looking for something in her response.

"No, I just wonder why you would ask that."

"There have been concerns raised that Miss Hoffman is unfit for duty. Do you agree with this?"

"No." The warlock lies, and immediately becomes very nervous because she has never felt the need to lie before.

"Elaborate." The doctor prompts, clicking her pen.

"She performs her duties adequately." The warlock says, which isn't really a lie if she thinks about it. "Menial tasks, mostly. Meal duty. Hostile engagements are a rarity, and I am insensate during them, but we have suffered no breaches."

The doctor nods, and writes, and reveals nothing.

"Okay, that's all for right now." She says, and she leaves the warlock alone in her room.

The warlock is loyal. This is her ship, she can say that more truly than even the captain. If the human were a problem-

Well, she isn't.

Not worth thinking about.

The warlock pulls a blanket over herself and her bloodstained shark and drifts to sleep.

[kosmicdream]

I got this ask on curiouscat but.. the site wont let me post my reply?? so i just decided to put it here since i dont get a lot of questions these days. so i like to answer them when i actually have something more to say. this one also went kinda off topic but w/e.

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Q: How do you keep the motivation to work on all your long comics? I always start and then abandon a project cause another distracts me or I feel unsatisfied with the result... I admire your commitment so much!

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Aw, thank you! I really appreciate it. But don’t get too discouraged.. I get distracted too! I currently have 9 ongoing comic projects with 2 more i eagerly want to start drawing, and at least a dozen concepts on the backburner that have been around for sometimes over a decade. I think that what I’ve found, is that starting a new comic takes so much time. It takes a lot of time to get a story really rolling, time to learn how to draw the story how you want and in a weird way - having a longer comic you’ve had more experience with, you can pull a lot more things from. I generally find that FFAK and NRD are much easier comics for me to work on because of all those years of experience with them. But it still can get demoralizing if i focus too much on the faults or how long I still have to go. Sometimes its easy to feel that readers have lost interest and moved on, or its just not as good as you wanted it to be, ect. If you look for reasons like that, reasons to demotivate you, you’ll find them in spades.So i try my best to NOT do that, because working on a comic is hard enough.

In a weird way, when i sometimes find myself in the pit of struggles like this - i realize every author ive ever read has been in the same shoes as me. There is no artist that just magically has it easier and never runs into some challenges like this, some challenges can never be overcome because they’re part of the experience of making the project. There’s limitations involved and things change overtime. You won’t always have the same experience with the same story as you make it, or the same feelings involved. Sometimes that's really hard to let go of, if you feel the earlier years were so much better than the struggles you have now. I know I faced that hurdle with FFAK and I am currently going through that with NRD, but even the harder times do change too. It never gets easy to make a comic, but it changes. 

With FFAK, i don’t honestly know how I will finish the complete story. I often struggle too, especially with the third (final) arc, if it really is good enough. In a way, a lot of places of it feel incomplete and rushed, so I tend to worry a lot about how that will go. However, I never thought i’d have a comic like FFAK in the first place, so i feel really lucky to have made it this far at all. Endings do scare me, as there’s just so much pressure involved to deliver and even reach it at all, that it feels almost like an impossible fantasy to pull off in a satisfying manner to yourself or the readers. However, I do think I’ve gotten more excited to reach endings than I used to be even a couple years ago, and I have gotten more forgiving of myself for not being perfect at it. No matter what I manage to make, I’m going to have my own critiques of it because there’s improvements to be made in all aspects of the story. I’m looking forward to seeing what I can actually do so I can learn from it and be more confident in the future. 

FFAK also has such a huge cast, it can be a technical nightmare to figure out. I dont envy authors like GRRM that have a seemingly endless cast to deal with. I already have so much of my hands full with what is essentially one family. And I know for my other comics that I’ve made, the cast has never gotten as out of hand as FFAK’s. But I dont mind having FFAK be like this, because it has been part of my enjoyment of writing the story too. FFAK is generally very motivating because I always have something I’m excited to share about it, and every small progress is a big reward for me. I’ve put a lot of years of work into ARC2 and i am desperate to get to share it with everyone, so I hope readers will enjoy what is to come for the future of the story even though it already is a decade old at this point.